#i know it probably sounds angry but
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
248 notes
·
View notes
Text
I finally got why I love so much the "dragons are gone" ending in the books while I hate it in the movies:
The books set the dragons free.
The movies simply sent them away.
That's basically the idea but I had a vision yesterday at 3am so I will be getting into detail below the cut.
The books have a very strong message about slavery. Some would say that it is a concept that is only important within the context of the last five or four books, but the ones that have been paying attention to the saga as a whole knows that there are things happening in the background. You know, stuff like
People eating dragons
People stealing dragons from their families so
The dragons can serve the vikings
And they're expected to obey because
People threaten to turn them into bags.
That's mostly the first book.
Dragons are constantly showed as unsatisfied with the status quo trough out the books, some more annoyed with the vikings than others. We have complete monologues from different dragons before the war is even a possibility. Sincerely, when it happens, it feels natural.
The idea of freeing the dragons is not one that comes up in the last book, not even close. The first time it is considered an option is in book 9 (I think), and, by the time being, we've already stablish lots of concepts as slavery within human beings, the dangers of a war, how this could lead to the end of all and freeing the dragons is the only option.
It is fatalist to say the least, but it's not going out of nowhere. There is a lot of worldbuilding (more on that later), but it is also the right thing to do. By the time Hiccup is presenting the option, Cowell has made us root for the dragons to be free and wild and do whatever they want, even if what they want is to hide under sea for thousands of years. Or if they don't want, or if the want to but just not in that moment, they can do it.
Oh, yes, because they leave GRADUALLY.
It is a sad ending, but still manages to get as satisfactory because, yet again, we know this happens and the books remind us this will happen eventually every time they can. “There were dragons when I was a boy” is literally the first phrase in the saga.
And then we got the movies.
The movies never followed the books. Like, not very much. The writers decided that they wanted to tell a story of a broken relationship between a father and a son while using dragons, the heroic and prophetic aspects of the books were getting on the way of that and they scrapped the idea. So, no, you can't tell me the movies actually follow the books.
However, if you're very technical, you know the Hiccup we see in the movies resembles Hiccup I, the one that stopped the war between vikings and dragons in the books, stablishing an equal relation between the two races. And this idea of the movies being a prequel can work for the second and specially the first movie, disregarding the fact that there are no prophetic or magical elements at all.
But THW exist and... Exist.
Suddenly the writers and producers decide that they want to follow the books and want to get rid of the dragons, something that is completely against the message of the other two movies.
(I am just talking about the movies, the shows-books relationship is very different and I will someday make a post ranting about it)
The movies do NOT talk about the dangers of dragons being with vikings or how the vikings mistreat the dragons or how bad is slavery or anything like that. The second movie does, yes, but the second movie also sends a message about how people benefit of being with dragons. They have their dragons and they're strong because of that friendship. Being at war with one another only brings loss and suffering for both bands while being together promises an actual future. A bright future that no one imagined before the first movie and that now they cling to.
Dragons and vikings are friends and together cand do basically anything.
That's a very strong message, you know?
And you know what? The third movie decided that such a strong and important message about friendship should leave the franchise completely.
“Free the dragons” it's a concept that doesn't fit with the movies. They're not slaved, they're not away from wildness and, most importantly, they CHOOSE to be with the vikings in the first place. They are already equals, they can do what they want and, you know, they are with the vikings because they want to.
But no, let's do a movie about letting friends go as if it could actually fit in the saga.
(I know it could actually fit but the execution was terrible).
As I said before, the movies resembles Hiccup I befriending dragons and we know how it ends. And someone who has never read the books will go and say "well, it was bound to end that way, why are you mad?” I tell you the difference right now: there's 1000 years of difference between the befriending and the parting in the book, 1000 years in wich we witness the deterioration of said friendship (from being friends and equals to being slaves). That's no what happens in the movies. The films give us 6 years and the only deterioration is within Toothless' character and how they made him a horny dog.
The dragons shouldn't have leave. This was a whim from the writers that thought that ending both stories the same way would be cool. It isn't. At all.
Long story short, it doesn't fit thematically. The movies and the books have different themes with different concepts and different characterizations of the dragons. While the books got story building and present the theme's since the beginning, the movies get it out of no where ignoring the themes in previous works.
Anyways, go read the books they're jewels and the ending isn't as shitty as thw make it look
#httyd#how to train your dragon#httyd 2#httyd the hidden world#httyd book#httyd books#im angry about the ending#probably because I'm watching rtte and i llve the relationship wuth the dragons#and the characters themselves#freeing the dragons is an actual theme in rtte but not in the movies#that's sad#also i don't think the shows follow better the books but#they actually use themes from them#english is not my first language#sorry if i wrote anything wrong#i love the films#i know it sounds as if i hate them but i don't#they're basically my favourite movies of all time
400 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yeah so-
Brant Miller sure does know how to make Zane shout VERY loudly...
#The pure unfiltered rage in that voice#God fucking damn Brant#You're awesome#I really want to know what his voice sounds like without the filter#The raw audio is probably so much better#Angry Zane my beloved <3#ninjago#zane julien
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
ik there’s a lot of speculation around kenji and brooklynn having possibly broken up before her “death” (still not believing it) but doesn’t darius’s phone call with brand in the first episode kind of point away from that. didn’t he say kenji doesn’t want to hear anything i have to say or something like that? or am i tweaking
#i swear it sounded like kenji was angry at him#probably blames him for brooklynn#which would be like added layers to unravel considering everyone else is probably gonna be trying to talk him down#like ben#and then kenji would be adding fuel to the fire#UNLESS IM TWEAKJNG SND DARIUS NEVER SAID THAF#pls lemme know i’m too lazy to go on roblox and watch it again#jwcc brooklynn#jurassic world chaos theory#jurrasic world camp cretaceous#kenji bowman#kenji kon#darius bowman
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Season Finale
Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments
You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.
First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.
And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.
Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.
And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.
He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.
And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.
#soukoku#skk#bsd skk#yes I did just make a new side blog to post this lol#I just read something and it made me angry so this probably sounds really aggressive 🥴#I swear I’m usually more chill#I also can’t explain how angry and heartbroken I was when I saw in the manga that Dazai didn’t care he just killed Chuuya#and started just messing around with sigma#I genuinely can’t fathom why you guys want that to have happened#I can look back at those scenes and breathe now knowing Dazai knew Chuuya was gonna be okay#I will probably be less angry if anyone replies in a few hours and will be able to have a civil discussion if anyone disagrees lol#tho pls be aware since this IS a side blog I can’t reply directly bc it forces me to reply with my main blog#and I don’t really want anyone to see my main blog#so I’ll have to reblog and then @ most likely#unless this has been fixed??#if I can reply with a sideblog pls lmk#also pls don’t be rude I’ll reply if you respectfully disagree that’s fine but not if you’re just gonna yell at me#I know a lot of this is probably a hot take#but I’m feeling brave what can I say
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
[Please convince your violent husband to use the sensory deprivation tanks at Darkwick General instead of committing crimes against his own body. I've already wrangled permissions for him to use them freely, he just needs to show up.]
@ask-doctor-isami
He starts to type 'He's not my husband' but concludes that it's besides the point and a waste of time to say. He knows who he means.
He hasn't done anything abnormally dangerous since then, but if I think he's acting strange again I'll see what I can do
Not that that BTH listens to me. But he might consider it more if I suggest it
On the other hand the more I think about it the more I don't know if leaving him alone with nothing but his thoughts is a good idea
He flies off the handle at random. He might just feel worse in there
Maybe he'll tell me why he doesn't like the idea at least
#texting: romeo#ask-doctor-isami#((romeo: taiga flies off the handle at random i don't know why he's like this))#((romeo moments before taiga tries to get narcotics: you're right i'm cheating on you. you're right you should go out just like i did aka i#((don't care if you cheat on me too and i encourage it. you're so mentally ill that it makes me angry and you should get help))#((romeo: i just don't know what could have possibly made him so upset. i don't get what's going on in his head.))#((he does at least understand that maybe he had something to do with it. but he's like. taiga's the one who jokes about me cheating and i#((don't feel like rebutting it so yes i'll play along with the joke today. he didn't think of 'i should go out too since that's what we're#((doing' as 'i should cheat too' he figured that not holing up in the casino would do him some good. and when he said 'mortkranken sounds#((like a good idea maybe they can fix you' he meant it out of concern and frustration and didn't consider taiga may not read it that way))#((because they used to understand each other much better and i figure they had banter like that before. he doesn't realize he's stressing#((him out and that he would probably be. marginally more stable if he were more direct and honest when speaking to him lol))
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Recently I just can't stop having a bad mood! I just don't know what it is :/ I am trying to focus on the things that make me happy and combat my wish to vent and turn irritating things into positive ones but every single good thing improves my mood for maybe like 3 minutes, and then I think about things that make me angry ANYWAY! I want to be around people but I can't because if I keep talking about things that make me angry - minor or big - I'll just exhaust them. But I've been trying to focus on good things for a while now and now it feels like it is a daily hard battle.
I really need to either finally have a mental breakdown (but I can't control when it happens, you know?) so I can cry, or have a justified reason to get angry that won't feel like petty over-reacting on my half. Hhhhrg
#/vent#look i am TRYING to stay funny or chill or simply based#but you dont understand - *everything* online makes me angry or bitter!#i dont even know what happened.. nothing about internet changed yet it feels like it did???#like a sound you cannot hear but the waves still shake you biologically..#as much as i judge people who built their audience on being reactionary at least-#-they have privilege of being negative as much as they want and only get 'yass queen kick ass' for it#meanwhile i should watch myself to not extend venting limit gfhhjhv when i vented too much i should-#-stay cool for a while before i can feel bad again#am i overestimating the importance of my negative emotions though?#like.. am i being vain thinking my vents will 'poison the world around me' when my anger is-#-as threatening as barking of an alerted pomeranean?#yeah maybe.......#maybe i just have microtrauma from people that treated me like a dangerous monster for having-#-emotion of anger to begin with. this summer this issue was dialed up to 11#right i am probably being too focused on self at this time!#i should watch some youtube trash-reviews or petty dramas to feel angry on behalf of someone ELSE.#gotta.. get out of my own head. now.
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
hm
#ramble tag#more like vent tag but i refuse to have one of those you can just ignore me you are smart#like seriously dont read this unless you really wanna and are snooping#i think there's something wrong with my brain#the executives have really refused to function#or some such nonsense i don't know i am just saying things#if i blame it on a vaguely medical sounding problem i feel less personally responsible about it#its been roughly 4 days#the hours are slipping away like sand through fingers#and i cant Do Anything#its infuriating#i can only Think about all the work i need to do but i Can't Do it#i only have 6 days left probably less i dont know the exact deadline and i have made No progress and i know i just have to Start#but like every time there is a slightest huccup i just get pulled away from the task and oops its dark out now!#and its like i dont even care#i am not sad or scared or angry except i know i should be so its like a ghost of a feeling#i dont want to die and dont want to live if i could i would just sit and read or even just think alone with my mind for a week straight#after i post this i will open the document pull out the tablet and start again i need to Start#aughhhh#how am i even an adult human person#this cant be how real human people live nothing would ever get done and we would starve to death#people here like to say that ooh 20 is not an adult that doesn't count but like#if i was less of a dumbass i would be living if not on my own then not with my parents#and i cant imagine surviving like that#that might be part of why that didn't happen#i am straight up just not an independent person right now#i have been avoiding booking an appointment to cut my hair for half a month#and avoiding scheduling to pick up the piercings I Wanted for 2! maybe 3! i dont know anymore!#okay this ends here#not the moping the tags
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
truly just SUCH a typical tumblr experience but like.
Familiar Tumblr Name makes a post that's like: 'you know how fast fashion perpetuates itself by selling us clothing that gets dingy and grody really fast, so we have to replace it yearly?'
me: uh, no, actually—historically i've found that the few fast fashion pieces i acquired long outstayed their welcome, and were perfectly wearable long after i was heartily sick of them! but go on, i guess
FTN: 'let me tell you about this traditional domestic wisdom (implied: that's been lost because of, uh, capitalism) that will fix this problem (that you, too, definitely have) for you!'
me, googling: okay so this residue that FTN said was somehow a Fast Fashion thing is apparently generally caused by like. fabric softener and/or hard water. using discount detergents that skimp on active ingredients. using too much detergent so it doesn't wash out. letting your bedding go too long between washes. letting your washer go too long between cleans. etc. anyway. lots of specific factors here, many of which may in fact not apply to you in particular!
but like. why get specific when instead we could assert You Know This Problem, Right? This Lost Traditional Wisdom Will Definitely Help You Personally!!
#just like. makes me mad as rhetoric bc like. *i* can evaluate yr Dramatic Tumblr Post critically and do independent research abt it#and determine how much of it applies to me#and like. the answer is: basically none but it's a good reminder to clean the washing machine‚ thx#but like. there are loads of ppl in the notes just like. nodding along very wide-eyed#to whom this ALSO may not be applicable but who have lapped up yr sloppy demagoguery#and it's just like. [FTN] admits *in this post* that they don't actually know all the ins and outs of this#and it's just like. then probably you shouldn't be climbing onto your soapbox to explain it to people just yet!!#and telling people to get Righteously Angry that this has been Kept From Them#anyway. extremely specific subtweet and honestly the consequences of blindly taking OP's advice would probably not be too bad#but it's just like. i get really frustrated with these bloggers who want to Dispense Advice#but aren't actually experts themselves‚ don't provide any citations for their assertions‚ and claim that things are Universally Applicable#which is just. never true!! people's situations vary!!!#and like. if everyone were equipped to critically evaluate this shit it'd be fine‚ probably#but they're not! people are like 'oh wow you sound confident‚ okay‚ information integrated into my worldview now!'#and it's just like. i realize the subject matter here is relatively low-stakes but it's like. the KIND of rhetoric here is. weird.#very like. There's Been a Conspiracy and You Should Believe Me Because I Sound Confident and Friendly and Like I'm On Your Side.#Reject the Innovations of Capitalism. Retvrn to the Old Ways.#and it's just like. hm what politicians does that remind me of!#anyway. sorry for this very vehement very specific subtweet i just. idk. genuinely think this strain of tumblr demagoguery is pernicious#and like. lots of it is perpetrated by liberals!! most of it ime! but it's the same damaging dynamic even so
29 notes
·
View notes
Note
just a friend here
i love you very very much, and trust me when it comes to breakups: that awful feeling in your gut WILL go away at some point. I will be honest here, i do not know when. it could be a day from now. 6 months. 1 year. but the thing that is important now is that you treat yourself kindly. whatever happened is not your fault. that person chose to break up with you. you didn’t choose for them to break up with you.
If you tell yourself the feeling will last forever, then it will. You just have to wake up every morning and tell yourself “I can. i CAN roll out of bed and continue with my day. i CAN do the things i enjoy and talk to the people i love. and i WILL get over this.” because the truth is that you can. I know that right now, in this moment, it doesn’t feel that way. But with my entire heart and soul, i can promise you that it is true.
oh dw he made it very clear that it wasn’t my fault. he just “felt constrained” and “wanted to be single”. not my fault, not my problem, who cares. ty for the advice and well wishes /gen
#asks!#rambling#anon#sorry i know this probably sounds bitchy. i’m not upset at you i genuinely appreciate this ask#just angry at him
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
My time at Sandrock is a calming laid back game, they said.
Yet everyday I wake up looking like a racoon, get attacked by some angry roosters and fail to beat my friendly rival builder and rise above her on a builders' board.
Also every wednesday and friday I take some expremitental medicine so mysterious doctor and his cool bird would like me.
So far it made me give off green light (???), made me ill and temporarily reduced my vision (fr the game looked like someone took my glasses off in real life).
Also I can't catch a single fish to save life. It's harder than in SDV, SDV was EASY.
#my time at sandrock#arvio commented on my dark shadows again and!!!#i can't even be angry bc how sweetly he did it#“you look gorgeous. but you know what would make you even more gorgeous? if you didn't have these dark circles around your eyes 😘”#i feel like he smoothly talks me into selfcare#or buying concealer#probable the latter tbh#but he sounded so genuine!!!
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
also to anyone who plays honkai, does anyone have other translations of the game? aside from the official?
i feel like i talked about this with a friend, but the translations just. don't line up with what's being said a lot of the time and it's slightly driving me insane x - x
#like!!! i can understand bits and pieces but its not enough to understand whats fully being said#but i just know that some of the things being said do not line up with the subtitles and i want to gnaw on something when it happens#idk....#cuz like this one line in ch 11 ex where himekos in kianas flashbacks (i am crying)#himeko asks kiana whats on her mind and she says something like 'tell mama what youre thinking about'#but she doesnt!!! say that in the official dub!!!!! she just says 'tell your teacher' !!!!!!!! WHY#it is very cute though how much kiana looks to st freya cast as her family its so ; - ; i feel so bad#also the voiceacting is absolutely killing it in ch 11 ex its amaziiiing#like!! kiana was saying she was angry towards fu hua but not because of betrayal and more because she realizes she was helpless towards fat#YOU CAN HEAR THAT IN HOW SAD AND JUST ABSOLUTELY DEJECTED KIANA SOUNDS..... its amaziiiiing i love it#at least to me !#it was weird when i saw kiana get angry at fu hua because while she did look angry#her voice kinda sounds otherwise#but anyways#snow plays hi3#just asking !! because im sure theres probably bounds of translations!! but i just dont know whats like. A Good Trusted One#so i trust. whoever plays honkai aPPARENTLY THERES A FEW OF YOU HIIIIII!!!!!!#im shaking all your hands im sorry im kind of new and probably like absolutely blissfully ignorant but i am shaking your hands#i wish there was a way to keep tabs of who Does bc then i can annoy cOUGHS#kidding! i wouldnt lmao
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
and another thing, I'm sick of people acting like they/them pronouns are just the third gender instead of being gender neutral/outside of the gender binary. idk who decided that they/them pronouns when referring to a person of unknown gender is misgendering & transphobic but they need to go fuck themself i think
#''but that's a strawman argument! no one said that!'' yeah they did. i'm mad about it because i've seen it on tumblr#there's whole posts saying that if you use they/them pronouns instead of just automatically knowing the correct ones you're transphobic#if i can't find pronouns on someone's blog i'm just gonna defer to they/them. as i have for the past 20 years#not to sound like That but i think people need to calm down. is they/them pronouns really something to get mad at#........................................................................................................#huh actually i just realized something. is it because of the whole transwomen getting they/them-ed thing#that people now just associate nonbinary pronouns with transphobia. because they're fucking stupid#holy transphobia batman! they're blaming the pronouns instead of the person!#i just came here to rant i didn't actually expect to find out the real reason why or anything#for real you can't expect people to automatically know your pronouns. people aren't mind readers#you are probably gonna get misgendered. you have to stop assuming it's actively malicious every single time#as someone who has had people misgender me all the time throughout my life i literally don't care#because it doesn't fucking matter. because i can tell when people don't mean to cause harm#& the people who do i don't give a shit about because fuck em#like i get the anger & how it can feel so righteous but also you have to learn when to shut up & stop to think#''is this actually malicious or am i just angry'' is a great question you need to keep at the front of your mind
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
You will be missed so dearly.
It's like a hole has been torn into very structure of the station, and we're all just standing around it reeling from the shock.
It was good to cry with everyone. It was good to put up black ribbons. It will be good to say to curious outside voices, "We are in mourning, please do not badger us."
A man missing forever.
You had the brightest future ahead of you. You would have risen to be one of the greatest. You already were for us.
I will miss you dearly. We weren't personal friends, but we were colleagues, and I will forever cherish every minute I got to work with you. Your dry humour was the highlight of many a day. Your work ethics set an example I want to follow. You lived and breathed medicine, you were loyal, 100% dependable at all times, smart, diligent, literally wise beyond your years - what do you mean, I was a DECADE your senior?? Also the absolute funniest person around, no contest. Driest humour. Wittiest comments.
I wanted to listen to you talk more and I wanted to learn from you more. I can't believe I won't get to.
You were indispensable, and I think that hole in the structure will remain. We'll learn to live with it. With something being blown out in a blast. It's good to clear the rubble together, I think this helps.
I'm crying again.
Rest in peace.
#mourning#death cw#soryuchan's personal issues#maybe this sounds overly dramantic but when you work what we do your colleagues become your comrades in arms become your family of sorts#also that might be my personal hangups but it was so validating that grown men could just openly cry and sob and hug without judgement#it's good to mourn together#better would be not having to mourn at all#i can't believe this#also my heart goes out to the station chiefs who had to keep it a secret for several hours to prepare a less chaotic announcement#they pretended business as usual and i was only wondering WHY one of them seemed so curt and angry on the phone with me#turns out it wasn't anger at me at all but someone trying not to break down shouldering the responsibility of no chaos breaking out#it's good i was sick in bed when the announcement came bc i know myself. i would have put the car off the road in shock probably#damn why why why why why i can't believe this#also very validating to share the feeling of 'no I'm fully expecting the car door to open and him jumping out right now'#honestly it's so good to have someone to mourn with#daaaaamn this is all so unfair#going through the motions of posting my remaining whumptober stuff for formality's sake now#but then i will need a break from everything
7 notes
·
View notes