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aftermathdb · 6 years ago

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DEATH BATTLE Review: Wario vs. Dedede.

Two gluttons of greed battle it out in the ring! Time to see if Smash Tier Lists are lore consistent or not (They aren’t, if Kirby is at the bottom when he’s canonically the most powerful video game character).

Wario′s Preview.

We all know Mario. He’s a hero, a plumber, and many more things. He’s one of the seven star children of the Mushroom Kingdom. But one day, Mario returned home to find his castle under control of someone else. That person is Wario. WAH!

Wario is the opposite of Mario in pretty much every way. While Mario is kind and heroic, Wario is selfish and greedy. In fact, little Japanese lesson, Wario is derived from the Japanese word “Warui”, or “Bad.”

Subtlety is not Nintendo’s forte.

But, as it turns out, Wario wasn’t always bad. As young children, he and Mario played “Cops ‘n Robbers” 1256 times. And despite constantly asking otherwise, Wario only got to be the cop once.

… Y’know, between the “Mario is a war criminal” meme and this, the whole “Mario is a psycho” thing from GameTheory is starting to hold water, just not for the reasons that MatPat came up with.

Anyways, in order to stack up to Mario, Wario needs to have plenty of abilities to counter with. He can even attack by farting. But it’s no ordinary fart, Wario uses The Waft. Which is basically the grossest thing that Nintendo has ever thought of.

But for a Flatulence Nuke, it’s not bad. At least in Smash, anyways. Otherwise, it’s just a stink nuke.

As it turns out, Boomstick has been working on a way to harness the power of farts in a device that he built in Wiz’s lab (Don’t ask how he got in, he’s not telling).

(Not pictured: The part where Wiz passes out because of the Wind Breaker).

Anyways, onto Wario’s arsenal.

Wario has plenty of things on him that can give him an edge up over his foes. Including bombs, transformative hats, and a slew of powers that he gets from his cartoon physics physique.

He can become bouncy by being squished, inflate himself to become big, use the Eagle Statue to achieve flight (Or he could just down some garlic to become Wario-Man, complete with pink tights and a cape), or even become metal. And remember that explosion Mario survived? Well, those bombs were Wario’s, and he was right in the middle of it. And if you recall, that blast came out to be about…

This isn’t even counting the time he defeated the Shake King, who exploded to blow up an island. Judging by the size of the Shake Dimension (By use of a map), and the size of the clouds that parted because of the explosion, the overall blast can come out to just short of 96 sextillion tons of TNT.

Despite his greed, disgusting body, and overall demeanor, Wario is a powerhouse. He’s defeated plenty of powerful foes and lived to tell the tale. Mario may beat him time and time again (primarily due to Wario’s intelligence (or lack thereof)), but that persistance is pretty admirable.

Dedede′s Preview.

The kingdom of Dreamland is filled with all sorts of creatures, big and small. Most of which are adorable as a baby seal.

But, this land is ruled by a self-appointed dictator named King Dedede. A tyrannical dictator who deliberately made a food shortage once.

However, Dedede would be stopped by a cute pink puffball of absolute destruction: Kirby. Everyone’s favorite lovable pink ball.

Although, the rivalry between Kirby and Dedede aren’t always with malicious intent.

The time Dedede stole the Star Rod, he was trying to stop the vile Nightmare from destroying everything.

Surprise plot twist: Dedede’s mean side comes from a jealousy of Kirby rather than any real evil place.

So, after seeing Kirby’s popularity surpass his own, Dedede made up his mind: He would surpass Kirby.

Dedede learned how to inhale objects and spit them out at incredible speeds. On top of his training to increase his speed, strength, and durability, Dedede learned how to fly.

By sucking a lot of air, Dedede can fly like Kirby. This is backed up by absolutely zero science and makes no logical sense. But who cares. Let’s let the penguin fly! They guy earned it through his intense training.

Dedede can even spit out air bullets that can destroy solid stone.

But even Dedede can’t get by just stolen techniques. Sure, the big guy has an army at his call, but he’s also got his signature hammer to take people down personally with.

This hammer can emit ice to ice up opponents, and even features a jet booster that is oh-so satisfying to land in Smash. Especially since it isn’t that good of a move.

But Dedede isn’t limited by just that single mallet. He’s got plenty on him that can give him extra abilities.

From the Star Hammer, to the Electric Hammer, the latter of which doubles as a multi-barrel rocket launcher, the King has it all. Screw Gun-Swords and Sniper-Scythes indeed. This is the weapon with firepower!

Dedede also has a lot of Gordos to command and throw at his foes. And when he wants to get rough (or rougher, in this case), Dedede busts out the aforementioned electric hammer and a mask to become… The Mysterious Masked Dedede!

The Penguin King has also spit Kirby to break Pop Star’s atmosphere. Which puts his spitting speed at over mach 30. Good thing that he’s become more of a good guy over the years, because it’s not healthy to be jealous of Kirby.

But since Dedede regularly goes up against and keeps up with Kirby, that means that his power has to rival the Pink Marshmallow. Kirby once broke the planet in a single chop. So, let’s get some calcs for that.

So, Dedede is definitely hitting above his pay grade. Even if Kirby isn’t hitting him with this amount of force with every punch, Dedede fights on equal footing with him. Meaning that it’s reasonable that he scales to the Pink Puffball in some way.

Also, Dedede has also gone toe-to-toe with the likes of Meta Knight.

For reference, Meta Knight once made a casual flight from one end of the galaxy to the other in seconds. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that Dedede can do that, but between that and the time he dodged a meteor

(this one)

That was moving 160,000 mph proves that Dedede is a lot faster than you might think.

The guy also helped fight Magalor, who made a Black Hole in another dimension that Dedede survived. Which proves that he don’t need a monster to “Clobbah dat dere Kirby!”

While Dedede’s grudge is still held, he’s always come through for the Kingdom of Dreamland more times than he’s been against it. Proving that he just might have earned his title in some way.

Because there is only one bonafide ruler of that kingdom. King Dedede!

The Battle Itself.

Kiid Zack are animating, Appetite For Greed by Brandon Yates, Jerky as the sprite artist, and Chris Kokkinos lead on audio.

Okay, before we start, these guys need to stop giving us instances where the “FIGHT” clip would be appropriate. First the Widow-Widow bullet clash, now this. Regardless, the two are clashing in an arena.

(Look at Waddle Dee! He’s so adorable!)

The Mysterious Masked Dedede takes the first attack, after a quick scuffle, he launches his Magnhild-style weapon, but it looks like Wario-Man is too fast for them, so the fight gets Physical.

But The Mysterious Masked Dedede manages to get some distance so that he can fire some… fire…

So, after Wario-Man takes some damage, he also runs into The Mysterious Masked Dedede. So, Wario-Man’s outfit gets burned and The Mysterious Masked Dedede’s mask gets shattered. Revealing…

It was Wario and Dedede the whole time! That’s good. I was starting to think that these were the wrong combatants.

But it looks like Dedede kinda… Recognizes Wario.

As it turns out, this battle is a bit more personal.

See, Wario stole Dedede’s hot dog and then farted in his face. Which doesn’t sit well with the Triple D. But, as it turns out, Dedede isn’t so innocent either…

See, Dedede stole the front wheel of Wario’s bike to fit with one of his subjects. So needless to say, Wario is also pretty miffed.

But this shocking reveal has blown more than just many audience member’s minds. It has also blown the minds of Waddle Dee and a Goomba…

… Literally.

So the battle rages on. Leaving Dedede to use his multiplication powers to pin Wario down (After the big W used his dragon hat to use fire attacks) to pin him down and smash him over the head. This is after Wario ate Dedede’s electric hammer, by the way.

Which results in…

… This…

Wario pulls out some bombs, and launches them.

So what’s Dedede’s solution?- Inhale them of course.

Which also results in Wario being caught in the vacuum.

Y’know, I really don’t like how Nintendo made Wario’s defining character trait “Disgustingness.”

So, with the arena destroyed and the building they’re fighting in gone, the fight’s now in an open field.

So Dedede and Wario both use their respective abilities to enlarge themselves for a big fight.

Not necessarily a beam struggle, but it’ll do.

But given who these two are, it’s inevitable that they’ll tire out.

So they make some distance. Where Wario prepares his atomic Waft to blow Dedede to oblivion.

But Dedede has a trick in his… Belt?- What even is that thing around his waist?

Y’know, Boomstick said that the Gordo was a “Pain in the ass” in Dedede’s rundown, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t what he meant.

So, uh…

Ackwaaaarrrrd.

Finishing blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

SUCK IT, SMASH TIER LISTS!

Verdict + Explanation.

So, right off the bat, Wario had the edge in versatility and arsenal. Especially with his reactionary powers. But it’s not like Dedede was helpless in this regard. For example, his hammer’s ice properties could cancel out Wario’s fire.

And it’s not like Wario is at all predictable. Like, who brings flatulence to a fist fight? It’s like butt guns. Nobody expects it.

But Dedede doesn’t need power-ups to do the things Wario does. Like flight, for example.

But between Wario’s toon-physics body and Dedede’s… presence and prevalence in the Kirby series, the durability was up in the air. As was a lot of their best feats, since they could only reasonably be scaled. But it’s easy to make the reasonable assumption that Dedede takes speed due to scaling to Meta Knight, while Wario scales to Mario. But as for how fast he really is, it’s hard to say.

But speed wasn’t even that big of a factor. Especially since durability is really up in the air…

Almost.

See, while Wario surviving the Shake King’s explosion is impressive, Dedede has survived a black hole.

Comparing the size of the black hole to Kirby, there’s a general estimate that can be made about it’s stats.

With the stats of the black hole established, the overall force exerted by the singularity comes about to…

… That. Five times greater than Wario’s best durability feat. And keep in mind that this is comparing it to Kirby’s size. That’s right. This is a lowballed stat.

And yeah, sure. Wario’s survived a lot. But Dedede’s not only survived far greater attacks, but he’s also fought much stronger foes.

In the end, Wario was Dede Done. And the king took the Peng-Win.

Overall impression.

Not a fan of Wario, mostly because the guy is disgusting. But it’s an interesting battle to say the least, and the fight is really fun. Sure, it has it’s cheap moments of humor, what with fart jokes, but that primarily comes from Wario, not Dedede.

This battle also had really great and fitting music. Being a much less serious fight made it feel more cartoon-y than serious, and it’s a great return to form. It feels like an early season one battle with the intense research of the later seasons mixed in. It has fun, and it’s not afraid to have fun. It’s just a great fight.

7.1/10. I would rate it higher, but the fart jokes were really low-brow.

Next Time…

So, alien devices do what they do and attach themselves to humans that prove to be the universe’s savior?

Then let’s go green. In brightest day, in blackest night, it’s gonna be hero time!

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Proof that Humans are special.

#Death Battle #Deathbattle #review #screwattack

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