#i know im not. i embrace it. if anyone else has a problem with it thats not my problem lmao

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[orcelito]

Ykno I think it's kind of funny how some people r so against sharing that they're into any fan stuff ever with Anyone they know irl. Then there's me. I'll tell my friends. I'll tell my family. I'll tell my COWORKERS. That I write fanfiction.

Like it's rly not that big of a deal I don't think. I like my funny little guys and I like to put them into situations. It's pretty normal.

[thekingofwinterblog]

Man I wish your MHA prediction came true, cause, no spoilers, but the truth is so bad😂

atleast its finallly over... never reading a series when it hasnt finished serialisation again😂

It's not even a BAD manga ending... i have seen BAD manga endings before, i know how they look like.

No, what MHA's final chapter is, is a NOTHING Ending. An ending where it is so, PAINFULLY obvious that the Mangaka or his editor did not want to piss anyone off, or take risks in general, that for a whole host of characters, there is NO closure, or even worse, it negates what came before.

so, its not like there is nothing good about the chapter, as i like shoji's big declaration, and the fact that japans society is changing to help people deal with the quirks withouth having to become heroes... but other than that, even the stuff i liked had major caveats.

But by far the biggest issue is that there are so many characters who got NO closure for their respective relationships, and it is stupidly obvious why, and who.

and since this question was prompted by Aizawa and his development, lets start with mic and Aizawa.

This picture right here encapsulates how Aizawa has changed. This is where he was always planned to end up. It is his natural end point compared to where he started off his story. Having turned into a much more caring man, who helped Aoyama rise above his flaws and change for the better rather than the brutal and spartan teacher he was at the start.

Or as his Ex Girlfriend would have put it has learned the value of "A household where the laughter never ends.".

However, the problem is we get no chapter, or even an ATTEMPT at giving him any form of closure where this change is encapsulated, the way we got with Endeavor, spinner, and Uraraka.

And thats a problem, because it wasnt ONLY hjis character who was tied to this hypotetical chapter for closure.

The closure of the ENTIRE idiot trio from the previous generation, alive and dead was dependent upon whatever Hori had planned for this hypotetical epilogue chapter before he or his editor chickened out, leaving Kurogiri's death in the climax with NO sense of aftermath behind it, coming and going, and frankly feeling like an aftertought rather than the sad ending to the tragic tale of the man who died too soon.

It also leaves Mic the single worst off, because while Aizawa at the very least had his character development to fall back on as a final point, even if he didnt get a closure chapter or moment, Mic gets NOTHING.

and that's a big problem, because as im going to go over in my big analysis of the man, Mic's entire deal is that while Aizawa developed in a terrible, negative reaction to his buddy's death, Mic's reaction was to stop developing at all.

His entire life after the tragedy is being a background character in everyone else's life, the DJ who always tries to make everyones day brighter, but has no actual ambitions, dreams or goals of his own.

thats why he clings so desperately to his memories of highschool, because unlike everyone else from that time, those memories are all he has. Even Aizawa managed to have a girlfriend at some point, an actual relationship, that though it crashed and burned had meaning. Mic doesnt even have that.

He is the ultimate sad clown, who pretends to himself that he hasnt wasted his life, by embracing a role as a literal supporting character, that his teachers suggested he would turn out to be.

In other words, his role in a chapter dealing with the epilogue of the trio, would certainly have been to finally, actually begin living his own life again.

but withouth that, there is nothing to suggest he managed to change. he will just continue to waste his life, thinking he'll never be able to create great new times for himself, rather than actually living his life and making new, best moments of his life.

i might be more annoyed about Aizawa not getting that final closure with Miss Joke, but there is no questions that Mic got an even worse deal with the narrative than Aizawa.

He remained a background character to the very end.

he's not the only one though.

You know who else never got closure? The Iida brothers.

We NEVER got to see how Tensei reacted to his brother not only taking up his mantle, but actually surpassing him and all his deeds during the climax.

Tenya's great ambition was to become a great hero to live up to his brother, and we didnt get to see any of his family members reaction to him actually achieving this dream.

As for other members of class 1-A...

Hey, quick question for anyone who read this story, Did you think Mina and Kirishima's character stories ended with these two, small, not given very much importance panels?

No?

Well fuck you, youre wrong! this is where both of their characters ends. their relationship, and their character arcs in general ended here, and they get no closure whatsoever.

and finally we move unto Izuku and the bigger problem with him and where he ended up.

Starting with him becoming a non powered hero, using tech.

Okay, not a BAD ending... But i feel like... maybe... there was a plan for something with that. Maybe... Maybe something that happened, and would have eased his character into using tech, rather than All Might just showing up with it after he's been a salary man for 3 years... Maybe something that was foreshadowed for years, and years.... Oh right.

Izuku losing his lower arms.

Like, looking back, it is painfully clear that Izuku was originally meant to lose his arms for good, before the editor(as he did with bakugo's death) put the kibash on that.

I like the idea... but there was a much better and more logical road to him becoming Iron Man with him having to use robotic hands in the epilogue. it would also be the logical outcome of all that foreshadowing, and was probably the original idea before it was deemed too gruesome.

However, thats a missed what if.

And if you have read the final chapter, you know it's not the BIG issue with this chapter. The SINGLE biggest problem with this ending, that is going to haunt it forever afterwards.

The complete sinking of Izuku x ochako by making it clear izuku has no regular contact with his former classmates, and ending the story withouth anything to suggest these two hooked up at all.

Now, im going to be very blunt, and very clear, before i tear this entire ship sinking to bits.

I didn't like Izuku x ochako.

At all.

I thought it was boring, too drawn out, and i didnt find much enjoyment as a ship from their interactions. in fact i would say i found izuku to have better chemistry with pretty much every other female character he ever interacted with.

Izuocha is the epitomy of a safe shonen battle couple. pure, boring vanilla.

I want to get that out of the way, before i really delve into why the way Hori just... torpedoed this ship because he didnt want to deal with the aftermath, was such a slap in the face.

Lets start with the most obvious problem.

It was all a waste of time.

every single moment of shiptease, and uraraka pining after izuku...

was one...

gigiantic...

Waste of fucking time.

I didnt like reading about this couple. But i cannot make the claim the story was not building up towards it.

it spent the vast majority of it's story building towards this couple, and in the last 3 chapters it devoted two of them to seemingly resolving this couple's story, and setting up for the next step... that never fucking came.

meaning that every little bit of ship tease these two had was a joke, a waste of time, it didnt mean anything in the grand scheme of things.

It was one of the most annoying parts of this manga to read through, and to my absolute fury and disguist i was fucking -vindicated.

It was an objective, waste of fucking time that could have been devoted to ANYTHING ELSE! It could have been devoted to another, better pairing, more character development for 1-A, Inko, the league of Villains, ANYTHING!

If the story was not going to end up with these two, there were plenty of ways to do that too, like having Uraraka's decision not to confess backfire as izuku moved on and hooked up with Mei, or melissa, or anyone else! or maybe just have izuku have moved past her an her ending up being friendzoned because she didnt make a move early enough! Or maybe have Uraraka realize she was gay after everything with Toga!

Again, ANYTHING ELSE would have been preferable.

instead, even at the very end, even when the following pages kills the pairing dead, Hori STILL tries to shipbait these two!

fuck off.

2. Making Urarak look shallow through the worst fucking timing in the world.

so, here is a question for you.

if you were going to ultimately choose not to go through with izuku x ochako, when would be the worst, possible timing to do it?

because i sure cant think of any point worse, than during a timeskip, where izuku's quirk ultimately went away, leaving him powerless and a common working man for 3 years afterwards.

Now this is obviously not meant to be the actual reason in universe for why this pairing didnt happen... but the implication is there...

And it wouldnt have been, if Hori had actually had Izuku turn her down in one of the previous chapters.

but because he decided to chicken out of any and all romance to not get any shipper blowback, through the safest way possible, it's there.

It's ugly, and it's cruel, and it's mostly implication... but it is there.

3. It makes Uraraka's entire character growth with Toga WASTED.

So Toga's part of her and Uraraka's storyline is obvious.

The girl who was looking for someone, anyone who would want to understand her finally found somebody who would, and she decided to give it all for that person.

in uraraka, she finally got what she could not get in the league, amongst her old friends, or anyone else.

No the problem is not with that side of their shared development.

The problem with this is that it completely wastes Uraraka's side of this equation.

The thing that Uraraka envied about Toga, was her ability to smile as she wanted, uncaring about how the world might think of her, something the shy uraraka deeply wished she could do too.

Ultimately, as presented in the final war arc, her develoment from this relationship was her finally learning to be honest, to embrace doing what she wanted to do.

She wanted to reach out a genuine hand in compassion to Toga despite EVERYTHING, and so she did. uncaring about what the world might have thought.

FInally she could be who she wanted to be. the girl who had been defined so long about keeping her love and more emberassing feelings under wrap no longer cared about being judged for them.

It's a very beautiful moment.

Man... It sure would SUCK if later uraraka completely backtracked, was never able to tell her crush her actual feelings, and instead it went absolutely nowhere, meaning she reverted back to the same person she had always been. that she never really grew past this flaw of herself she disliked.

That would really, really suck, and cheapen her entire character climax from the final war arc.

Man, that would suck.

It would suck even more, if the reason that happened, was due to the author not wanting to piss off the shippers that shipped the target of her affection with his former abuser and bully who tried to get him to kill himself.

This was a terrible way to end the series, not due to directly sucking, the way Attack on Titan, or bleach's endings did... but instead due to committing SO HARD to resolving NOTHING, that it flipped all the way around to being INFURIATING in how much it REFUSED to give ANY character who's final resolution would probably have involved shipping, that its pisses you off, because it means that everything that these characters were building towards had no resolution.

The only real exception was Iida, and in his case its just obviously clear that Hori just did not care to give him a climax. for everyone else though?

Hori's decision to not wanting to go through what Kishimoto went through after Naruto's final chapter might be understandable, but it also means that his already rocky final arc ended wastly lesser in quality than it could have.

[fadedmunson]

family man | joel m.

pairings ; joel miller x fem!reader

word count ;

warnings ; ohhhh this left me in guttural pain. angst then comfort because i've had a long week

this could've been avoided if you never met the old grumpy fucking man

why were you always given the shit-end if the stick??

i mean, how were you supposed to know raiders would be in the middle of butt-fuck wyoming?

well, here you were, running back to ellie and joel after hearing gunshots and raiders shout

you were going to make a quick run to find some more bullets, but accidentally left your gun, and just as you realized, raiders got the idea to follow you

"has she lost her mind?" joel hissed, "leaving all her shit behind too, god this is laughable." joel scoffs under his breath

"joel" ellie whispers, "i know she's not here, but we need to do something." joel can feel her getting more anxious by the second

"i know, i know." joel isn't the best at comforting but he's good at violence, so there's that.

one thing he just never understood was how dumb and vulnerable you could be at times. you made stupid mistakes, stupid mistakes that could lead to your stupid death.

god, that word. death. it haunted him, it'll haunt him till his last breath. he'll meet it eventually, but only with you and ellie at his side. he can't loose anyone else

"joel!" ellie eyes shook from fear and so did her voice. joel left his momentary trance and quickly built a plan for her to get out safely

just as he was about to grab her, he hears the stuggle of the raiders, almost like choking.

he stands up to see that the threat was taken out by you and a switchblade

ellie was quick to react by running and grabbing your arms while trying to regain her composure

she looked death in the eyes multiple times, but this one was different.

"that was so badass! you swung in and- hey is that my knife?" she pointed out

"sorry, forgot. i was just keeping it safe." you flip the switchblade and hand it to her.

just as you hand it to her your sweater collar was gripped by joel

"now you've just about done it," he began

"let go of me joel, im grown. i handled the problem, i don't get the issue." you pry his hand off of you and get in his face

you were never afraid of joel, just curious. curious about how he kept everything so close to his chest. it probably got tiring

"do you have any idea how scared i was? you have any fucking idea?" joel eyes narrowed as he stabbed his finger into your chest while his teeth clenched

this doesn't scare you no, it's something much worse

this pains you, it pains you to see how distraught joel is feeling and the fact that you were the reason for it

"you make my life so much harder," he scoffs at you "you frustrate people, it's all your good at." he begins to raise his voice

your eyes are becoming glassy and you can feel it hitting you like a train

"stop it." you warn

"i didn't know this would happen and i'm sorry but this situation never came to my mind." your body language is frantic and so is your voice

at this point, tears are freely streaming down your eyes while ellie just stares, unable to do or say anything to set either of you off

joels face softens the littlest bit from your tears. he's not great at navigating feelings and people crying

"the last thing i need is to loose you," he looks at ellie "either of you."

you just crash into his body and he immediately responds by wrapping his arms around you and digging his face into your neck

"oh, sweet girl" he gently reassures you that you did nothing wrong and he "was worked up."

at some point ellie sat next to the both of you and just stayed in comfortable silence

joel kissed your neck, then your cheek, and then your forehead

you stumbled off of him and sat next to ellie, resting her head on your shoulders while you held joels hand

"i like being with you joel," you turn to him "i'm sure sleepyhead over here enjoys it too." you chuckle at ellie already asleep in your embrace

you can see the briefest smile on his face as he lays his head on yours

you've got joel miller absolutely smitten

[satorisoup]

OH I THINK I FOUND IT WAUHDSASDUH hii! i'm so sorry but i really don't know how to request stuff so i thought this is where u would request? i'm sorry if i don't request in the actual link (if there's any) this is my first timeee huhuuu, but i REALLYYY want to request an angst to fluff wherein reader gets quite jealous bc kuroo keeps getting hit on by other girls and she gets quite insecure. thank youu don't force urself if u don't have time to!!

#KUROOS’ FANGIRLS

#A/N : yes you found it! ugh kuroo is my fav i love him so much.

#WARNINGS : f!reader. petnames (sweetheart, baby). cursing. cheek kisses. angstish(?) to fluff.

kuroo is undeniably an attractive guy. flirty humor, pretty eyes, and a tall, muscular build. no one would usually think this could be a problem but to you, it was.

it’s annoying, really. sitting at his volleyball game trying to support your boyfriend, the squeals and loud yells of his name coming from random girls in the stands. pretty long hair, whispy curls or styled bangs, big eyes and blushy cheeks, cute little outfits put together.

when the end of the game came and it was time to go, a couple of the girls even had the courage to flirt with him right in front of you.

“your arms are so strong!”

“you looked so hot out there!”

and although kuroo would give a mediocre thank you with a wave of his hand, you couldn’t shake off the creeping feeling of intense jealousy.

these girls were so perfectly put together and fluttered their long eyelashes so prettily it almost made you sick. maybe you needed to put more effort, or grow your hair out more. maybe kuroo thought so too. maybe he didn’t even like you at all.

the walk and bus ride home with kuroo was eerily quiet. you couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything other than a quiet “good job tetsu.” back at the courts.

finally walking into his room and sitting yourself on the edge of his bed, not daring to look him in the eyes and instead focusing your attention on the window. you heard the rustling of his bag on the floor before you felt the bed dip as he sat next to you. you still made no effort to look at him.

“okay, tell me what’s wrong.”

you weren’t expecting him to just blantantly ask you. and you couldn’t help but feel entirely stupid for the answer that was about to leave your mouth.

“do you even like me, kuroo?” the question came out as almost a whisper as you waited for a response.

“sweetheart, of course i do. what are you talking about?” he responded, and you finally moved your head to lock eyes with him. his face filled with slight worry as he stared at you.

“i dont know… you just have so many other girls you could easily be with. i dont understand why u bother with me.”

his eyes softened before responding, “because i love you. i could care less about any other girls because you’re the one i fell in love with.”

you smiled softly at him before being embraced by kuroo’s arms. wet kisses planted on your cheeks and a not so real “ew!” followed with soft laughter. he was right. he was dating you. he knew you like the back of his hand just as well as you knew him. he chose you over anyone else. why be insecure when everything he’s ever told you has proven to be true? its you and kuroo, and it always will be.

“no need to be so jealous, baby. im all yours.”

“quiet, tetsu.”

[katsu28]

hi my lovely kait!

i saw your requests were open and i actually was thinking about if ive ever requested smth from you before (i think maybe once but im not sure)

i was wondering if i could get ‘Kissing away their tears’ with charles but i wouldn’t mind if you wanted to do it with anyone else as well! i’ve been craving some hurt/comfort.

love you and have an amazing day <33

hali!!! love u love u thank u for being so sweet <3 here's some hurt and (hopefully) some comfort for u!

charles leclerc x reader, 1.4k. request something from here!

You can tell that Charles is dejected the moment he climbs out of the car. He doesn’t have that spring in his step he usually gets after an exhilarating race, and his feet drag on the asphalt as he trudges over to the weighing station with the rest of the grid, barring the podium goers. 

Carlos finished high up in the points, which is a win for Ferrari and you know Charles is happy for him, but you can’t imagine what it must feel like to constantly miss out on points and positions while his teammate consistently comes out in the top five every time. 

Formula One is a different breed of competition—your teammate might be your friend, but they’re also one of your biggest rivals. You fight to keep your seat, race after race, season after season, and this downhill spiral Charles has been in ever since his home win has been disheartening to say the least. 

You don’t know much about the strategy of it all, but you know Ferrari’s hasn’t been working out for him. He’s had a rough go of it lately, and your heart hurts for him. 

Charles looks up to where he knows you are, lifting his hand in a haphazard wave at you before being ushered away to the media pen. You’ll wait for him where you always meet him after races.

Somehow, he looks even more defeated than before as he trudges into his driver room after post race interviews conclude. He throws his paddock pass off to the side. You’re sitting up on the countertop, legs swinging mindlessly, only stilling when Charles shuts the door behind him. 

“Hey,” You say softly, gently. 

“Hi. Thank you for coming.” He tries his attempt at a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. You hold out your arms, and immediately, Charles steps forward, folding himself into your embrace. You know Charles well enough to know that he won't believe you if you compliment him right now, so you don’t. You sit with him in the heavy silence instead, waiting for him to make the first move. “I’m sorry I could not do better.” 

“You did the best you could with what you were given, Charles,” You say assuringly, rubbing a hand over his shoulders. He sighs long and hard, like you’re just telling him what he wants to hear. “I’m proud of you.” 

“Can we just go back to the hotel now?” He asks quietly, muffled because of how his face is buried into your neck. “I’m done for today. Anything else can wait until tomorrow.” 

“Of course,” You hum, carding a gentle hand through his hair one more time before releasing him. Before he can get too far, you kiss him, short and sweet. He smiles then too, a little bigger than before, but still quite sad. 

Charles puts on a pleasant facade as you make your way through the paddock back to the car park, taking pictures with waiting fans, signing things for them if he can reach them like most drivers do whilst leaving the track. Most of them are sweet to him. They tell him to keep his head up and believe, that a few bad races don’t discredit how talented of a driver he is. 

There’s a few hecklers as usual, upset fans who’d made bets on Charles’ performance and lost that money, people who say he could be doing so much better—as if them telling him that would magically make everything alright again. You give your own deadpan stare to that lot from where you hover a good distance away from him, not caring that they can definitely see you. 

Charles may be media trained, but you’re not. You have no problems with shutting up a few twats with your expertly crafted death glare. Fred Vasseur might call you in for a meeting with the PR team if he sees the photos on social media, but you don’t care. 

The car ride back to the hotel is understandably silent, but Charles still holds your hand tightly, rubbing absentminded circles along your skin because it soothes him, every so often lifting it to press a kiss to your knuckles. You don’t push him to talk, and you don’t think you need to. You know him well enough to know he’ll let you in when he’s ready. 

Dinner is room service and holds a little more conversation, though you can tell Charles is still off in his own world, thinking about everything that’s gone wrong these past few races, wondering if he could’ve done anything to get a better outcome. 

You come out of the bathroom after brushing your teeth, well and ready to go to sleep and forget this day, but instead you find your boyfriend sitting at the end of the bed, hunched over with his head in his hands. At the sound of the door opening, he looks up, and you can tell he’s been trying hard not to cry. 

Glassy eyes stare back at you, the beautiful green eyes that you adore filled with so much pain and sadness it makes you want to cry too. His teeth dig hard into his bottom lip, but it still wobbles just the slightest. 

It isn’t until you’re across the room, sliding on your knees to hug him against you that the final string holding Charles up snaps, and he leans into you heavily, pressing his face against your shoulder with a shuddering breath. He cries and cries, and you let him, holding him as tight as you can just so he knows you’ve got him. 

You’ve always got him. 

His body shakes with silent sobs, hot tears soaking into your shirt, and all you can do is murmur quiet reassurances into his ear, even if the feeling of wet cotton against your skin makes you want to peel yourself out of it. Charles needs this, needs to let it all out so he can focus on what lies ahead without being dragged down by the past. 

Eventually, his sobs come to a hiccupping stop. He lifts his head, red rimmed eyes meeting your own tearful ones. His nose is even running a little bit, and if it were anyone else you’d push them away, but it’s Charles. “I’m sorry. I don’t—I don’t know why…” He trails off without finishing his sentence, seemingly at a loss for words. 

“Oh, my love,” You sigh, stroking both thumbs over the apples of his cheeks. You press your lips against his, hoping it can convey just how much you love him without you having to even utter the words, wiping away his tears gently before drawing back to look at him. As much as you hate it when Charles cries, he’s pretty like this. Tears cling to long, dark lashes, mussed hair a soft tornado of brown from how your fingers had been running through it. “You have nothing to be sorry for. And you never have to explain anything to me, yes? I’m here for you, always, no matter what.”

“Thank you,” He murmurs, leaning back in with his forehead against yours. “Thank you, mon amour. Your support, your love, it means everything to me. You are why I can keep doing this. ” 

You shake your head. “No I’m not.” Charles cocks his head, and you poke his chest, right over his heart. “That is why you can keep doing this.” 

One more poke, this one softer and on his forehead. “And this. Your mind and your heart, your determination, your strength, that is why you keep going. You are the most hard working, talented, brilliant driver I’ve ever seen. You can bounce back from whatever this is, and you will. But not because of me, because that’s the kind of person you are.” 

Charles pats the spot next to him and you oblige, looping your arm through his once you’re there, leaning against his shoulder now. He lays a lingering kiss to the top of your head, a silent gesture of appreciation towards you. He appreciates you more than he can put into words sometimes, a fact that hasn’t and will never change.  

Even though he’s still frustrated and sad and upset, this silence seems considerably lighter as you sit with him. You hope for brighter days ahead, and you’ll always try your best to be his strongest support system, no matter what the future holds.

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[zireyka42]

Hello stranger or anyone.

I'm not that popular on Tumblr I don't want to be too. I always been a bit artist and I feel like I'm a artist so I just wanted to delete that app as the way of artists do, with A Farewell Speech

That'll probably won't be any beneficial for you but I'll write about some of my feelings about social media and all about nowadays' news.

Have you ever just felt that when you open social media and you felt like no change? I mean I don't know if that's just my problem but social media is not my thing. I opened it again and again and same news about my country, same news about world and same news about Palestine.

Its been 2 years since I opened that account and I'll keep the account maybe years later when I opened this I'll find something different but now I don't want to get used to deaths of little children or innocent people. Because if you see so much about something you'll get used to it at the end. I have a psychology too and I need to keep it normal if I don't want to be crazy one day. I'm not saying I don't care about Palestine or things like that and people in there suffer much more than I do but I don't know. I'm just pissed of these news I think? I'll still do my boycott but I can't do anything further than that, I wish I was able tho and seeing a baby dead... I do not have anything to say about it! Just why?? Was that baby a terrorist? Hell no but still... Why? Why world happened to be a place like no one cares about anyone? Why seeing my friends laughing behind someone else and humiliating them supposed to be normal to me. Why I should be respectful for everyone? Just say "shut up" when you see someone talking about some shit behind someone else. Don't believe it what you've heard till you see with your own eyes because world started to be a place where you cannot trust anyone. Every one of three person is alone nowadays and what's hurting about that, you know? Its TRUE. We are social creations and we are alone? No one wants to care about someone else's problems but when it comes to their problem everyone should listen.

And Im gonna talk about something else too. I trusted Marvel and Disney. And the other celebrities. You've supposed to be the heros I always imagined about. But I learnt that What I grew up with was a lie. Peace was a lie. These children movies taught me how I should help the poor ones, or whoever was got bullied. But now you help the... Bullies. They taught me that I should embrace the differences but what the hell are you doing now? I TRUSTED YOU. I chose you as a good example, as a role model. If you are an actor you should know that children are prone to choose you as a role model that means you.are.the.responsible.one. You are the adult one!

Well. At least I know that Allah will punish these people. Everyone in this earth has a right. I hope that bullies will be punished like in the end of the movies, indeed it'll happen...It's the only thing I can trust about.

Sorry that I couldn't finish my story in this account. But I can tell how you will image the end. "Well once again the candle was burned to help you to find a way out and do you know how to keep the candle lit? Turn your back against the storm. Yes it'll head you to where you started but just isn't it the way of life goes on... Eventually you'll return to soil."

Bye<3

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[sunrisemill]

❀~Daisy chains~❀

Summary: You had always been a sucker for nostalgia, going back to places that have memories attached to them and embracing the changes you have gone through. But what happens when you get hit with the biggest nostalgia bomb of your life…your high school boyfriend.

(Warning: Suggestive but only a tiny bit.)

As I step through the door, the tiny bell rings out across the coffee shop. I’ve been going to this quaint shop since I was a kid and don't plan to stop.

The warm, comforting vibe it gives off has always drawn me inside on rainy days like this one.

My eyes scan across the almost empty shop when they land on a certain man. No way, It can't be him. I tell myself as I study the stranger, the brown tousled hair, the way his eyebrows furrow as he reads his book, It can't be him, I refuse to believe it.

“Oat milk latte for Matt.” The barista calls out, the man lifts his head and that's when I get a good look at the so-called stranger and all my suspicions are true…

It’s him.

~~~~

(5 years ago)

“You know Y/n…you should join me sometime. It might actually be fun.”

He flashes me a bright smile as he treads the water lightly. “I would but I forgot to pack a bathing suit.” I shrug as I lay flat on my stomach on the blanket we laid across the rocks on the water bed.

He smirks as he swims up to me, resting his arms on the rocks as he lifts himself up slightly, our faces inches apart. “Who said anything about a bathing suit?” He cocks his head to the side in a teasing manner as he watches my face flush a bright red.

I tried to think of something to reply with but I couldn’t come up with anything, not even a witty comment. I hate the little cocky look on his face when he sees my flustered state. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Have I left you speechless?”

His voice is below a whisper now as I feel his warm breath against my lips.

“M-Maybe…I dunno” I whisper back in a weak voice, my voice always gives out on me at the worst moments.

He chuckles, bringing a hand up to brush his thumb across my burning cheek. I feel a small shiver run down my back as the cold water that was once on his thumb is now smeared across my cheek.

“You’re so pretty.” I hear him whisper before I feel his soft lips press against mine.

I’ve never truly felt this way towards anyone else before. Of course, I’ve had boyfriends in the past but I can tell this is different.

Matt makes me feel safe, I feel as though nothing bad could happen to me when im with him. So when he kisses me, I kiss him back.

My hand quickly finds its way to the back of his head, running my fingers through his wet curls as I pull him closer. Suddenly, all of my problems disappear once I’m with him, he’s like a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else.

I can't help myself wonder if he also thinks of me that way but I always back out when I go to ask him, I guess im scared of finding out he doesn't think of me like that.

When he pulls away from the kiss, he looks up at me with a love-drunk smile and I’m quick to return it.

“Hey… I love you, like a hell of a lot.” He chuckles and I can’t seem to wipe the stupid grin off of my face. “I love you too, Matt. A hell of a lot.”

I lean down, pressing my forehead against his as I whisper. “Promise you won't leave me.” I watch as his eyelids flutter closed, a peaceful look across his face.

“Now why would I ever leave you? I love you too much.”

(A/n: Famous last words. WHATTT??? WHO SAID THAT?! I’m just kidding 🙏 I can’t help but feel so awkward when I write them kissing cause I feel like I’m interrupting smth 😭 I swear people who write smut have super powers cause I cannot do that shit. Anyways, this was low-key (high key) inspired by skinny dipping by Sabrina Carpenter cause she is MY GIRL. I love her so much it’s unbelievable. I hope you like this one cause she definitely stressed me the fuck out writing (my laptop decided to shut down in the middle of writing and wouldn’t turn on for 10 minutes) my laptop and I have a love hate relationship atm)

Tags: @guccifrog @junnniiieee07

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

"Lost It though, lost that privilege with a hundred more."

"your heart’s compatible mine breaks alone."

synopsis// bakugo is too little too late

pairing// katsuki bakugo x gn!reader

word count// 2.4k

contents// angst. like just angst. hurt/no comfort. pro hero!au. brief mentions of puking for anyone who has problems with that...

notes// this is super cringe bc i wrote it many moons ago and im only posting this bc i want it out of my drafts NOW... its ruining the rest of my GOODISH drafts. get out of here. leave. also guys you are NEVER going to believe this... this is inspired by a song... i know i know... how new and exciting and never before done by me right? its inspired by sweet talk by dear and the headlights (SO GOOD DEAR GOD)

Bakugo is stuck staring at his phone screen—or more specifically, the email within it—when Izuku busts out of the bathroom and into the living room where he’s lying.

“Did you get the email?” Izuku asks almost breathlessly.

“What do you think, nerd?” Bakugo rolls his eyes before turning his attention to Izuku, who’s only in a towel. “Izuku, why the fuck are you naked right now.”

“I was taking a shower!” he defends himself. “Are you going?”

he scoffs. “Why would I want to go to a reunion filled with our shitty high school classmates?”

Izuku sighs and rolls his eyes. “Because it would be good for your hero image?”

He hums. He hadn't considered that; he was thinking of something else. Bakugo asks, looking away, “Uh, do you think they’ll be there?..” 

“Why don’t you text them and find out?” Izuku states the obvious.

“You know I’m not doing that,” Bakugo scowls.

Izuku rolls his eyes and starts walking back to the bathroom as he calls out, “Then suffer!!” 

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

You’re sitting on your bed glaring at the email on your phone, and you don’t even realize you’re doing it until your boyfriend, who you didn't even noticed had entered the room, speaks up;

“Y/n?” he calls out softly.

You hum lowly in faint acknowledgment.

“You’re glaring at your phone,” he points out quietly.

“No, I’m not,” you mumble.

“Did you get the email?” he asks through a short laugh.

You sigh and nod, only for him to take your phone and turn it off before shoving it in his pocket. “Kirishima-“

“Don’t kirishima me,” he says, sitting next to you and pulling you into his embrace. “What good is glaring at the email gonna do?”

“Make it delete itself, I don’t know,” you mumble against him.

He hums and places his head atop yours. “Do you not wanna go?”

You groan and bury yourself deeper into his embrace. “It’s not that I don’t want to go; it’s just that… I don’t know. I don’t talk to any of them except for you-“

“I would hope so; I’m your boyfriend,” he interrupts with a poor joke.

“Kirishima,” you deadpan.

He kisses the top of your head. “Sorry, continue.”

“Like I was saying,” you continue, “I fell out with everyone like a year after coming to America…"

He nods, “I get it.”

You pull away from him slightly to look at him with a frown. “You don’t talk with any of them now either?”

He shrugs and gives you a small smile. “I mean, I talk to Denki and them once in awhile, but maybe this is exactly what we need to reconnect with our old friends, you know?”

“Yeah, maybe,” you mutter, turning your gaze to your hands, which have been fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

He frowns before placing a hand on your chin and tilting your head upward to look at him. “So?” he asks expectantly.

A small smile tugs at your lips. “So we’ll go, Kiri.”

He returns your smile, but even wider. “Good, I really didn’t wanna go by myself.”

“You were gonna leave me?” you exclaim dramatically.

He stifles a laugh. “Well, not anymore!”

You turn away from him. “Nah, I don’t wanna hear it—you're fake.”

He mumbles, “Shut up,” and rolls his eyes before grabbing your face and kissing you. You smile into it. Yeah, who cares if you haven’t talked to half of those people in a few years? This could be good! Maybe you’d even reconnect with your old best friend; Lord knows you’ve been dreaming about it since the moment you two fell out in the first place…

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

The closer the reunion got, the more on edge you became, which explains why on the day of, you were in your hotel bathroom with your head in the toilet, throwing up. Kirishima rubs your back soothingly as he sits on the edge of the tub.

“We can skip it and get a flight back home, y/n,” he suggests softly.

You shake your head and flush the toilet before wiping your mouth with your hand. “No, we didn’t fly all the way back here only to fly back because I can’t handle my nerves.”

he sighs. “I don’t care about that; I care about you being comfortable,” he says as he helps you up.

He laughs when you smile at him, teeth and all. You have to think about why he’s laughing for a moment until it hits you and you slap a hand over your mouth. “I have puke in my teeth, don’t I?”

He nods, his laughter dying down. “You might.” He kisses the top of your head. “Can I trust you to get ready without puking again?”

You shrug, your hand still over your mouth. “Maybe.”

Kirishima hums. “Good enough,” he says before kissing the back of your hand that covers your mouth and then leaving you to your own devices.

Now that you’ve puked up all your nerves (for the most part), you’re able to get ready with ease, but it isn’t until you’re finally at the reunion that your nerves start acting up again. Kirishima quickly noticed this when he felt how clammy the hand he was holding had gotten.

He squeezes your hand reassuringly. “Say the word, and we’ll leave right now, y/n.”

You shake your head. “No, Kiri, it's fine really..”

He grabs your chin with his free hand and forces you to look at him, his eyes looking straight through you. “Promise?” 

You nod against his hold. “Promise.” 

Before Kirishima can get another word in, he hears someone call him from a few feet away. He lets go of your face, but his hand remains in yours as he turns to see Denki and a few others waving him over. He turns back toward you and looks like he’s about to invite you along, but you shake your head and have to practically rip your hand out of his.

“Go!” you urge him. “Go reconnect with them; that’s what we came here for, right?”

He frowns and reluctantly nods. “What about you?”

You give a lighthearted shrug. “Don’t worry bout me, Kiri, just go.”

He sighs and gives you a quick kiss before waving goodbye and making his way toward his old friends, leaving you awkwardly standing there. Once he’s out of sight, you sigh and look around like a lost puppy.

“Well, this is fun,” you mumble.

You're drinking some random punch you found that you’re pretty sure is spiked, but don’t mind, for a few more minutes when you spot a familiar blond spikey-haired boy in the distance. You’re not sure what comes over you, but the next thing you know, you’re abandoning your drink on a random table and running toward him.

“Katsuki!” You practically scream as you roughly pull him into a hug. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you!”

He groans and tenses up at the contact but hugs you back regardless. “Didn’t know you were coming… Can you let go now?”

“Last minute decision,” you remark, squeezing him even tighter, “and you say that yet you’re still hugging me too, you know.”

You feel him grow warm in embarrassment before he lets go of you. “Your turn, dumbass.”

You laugh as you let go of him. Who knew someone could miss being called a dumbass? “I really am happy to see you, Katsuki… It’s been so long!”

Bakugo hums in agreement and shoves his hands into his pockets, a habit he can’t seem to get rid of. “Yeah, I’m happy to see you too, y/n.”

“So, what’s new?" you inquire cheerfully. "You know, besides being the number two hero and all.”

He narrows his eyes at you, and had you not previously been his best friend, you would’ve thought he was about to tear you a new one. “Says the number one hero in America?"

You wave him off. “Ah, that’s nothing,” you say coyly. “But seriously, what’s new?”

“Just hero shit, honestly,” Bakugo shrugs. “you?” 

You open your mouth to tell him about Kirishima but quickly come to the conclusion that that’s a terrible idea. Had Bakugo been a normal best friend, then yes, you would tell him in a heartbeat. The problem is that he wasn’t just a normal best friend. For the entirety of highschool, you and Bakugo were stuck in this limbo of not just best friends but not quite lovers, so talking about boyfriends when he was almost yours simply doesn’t seem right.

“Y/n?” he asks impatiently.

You laugh slightly. “Sorry, uh, same with me, just hero shit..”

Bakugo looks at you in suspicion, removing his hands from his pockets just to cross them. “Doesn’t seem like it.”

You avoid his stare, which is a horrible mistake; now he'll really know you're hiding something. “What?” 

“You were gonna say something else, so just say it, dumbass,” he adds, narrowing his eyes at you.

You laugh nervously, staring back at him, “I wasn't g-“ 

“Y/n just say it; we're—we were best friends; I’m pretty sure you can tell me anything at this point.” He cuts you off, but his tone is surprisingly gentle.

The problem here is that you weren’t just best friends.

You sigh, knowing he won’t let up until you just tell him, so you might as well get this out of the way now. “I have a boyfriend,” you mumble nervously.

Bakugo’s heart drops, and he thinks he just went through the five stages of grief within ten seconds before asking, “You have a boyfriend?”

You awkwardly clear your throat and offer a small smile. “Uh, yeah!” 

In disbelief, he scoffs and mumbles to himself, “You have a boyfriend…”

You nod. “Katsuki, are you okay?..” 

He completely ignores you and snaps out of whatever trance he was in. “So who is he? Some American dude?”

You mentally curse him for asking who. “Uh no, it's, uh, it's actually Kirishima,” you nervously laugh.

Bakugo can feel small sparks starting to light up within his hands and wipes them against his pants. “How’d that happen?” he says blankly, as if he’s mentally checked out, which at this point, he’s trying to.

You’re surprised by his curiosity and overall lack of hostility, but you’re happy about it nonetheless. “Oh, well!" you explain happily, no longer fearful of it being awkward, "We had met up when he moved out to America, and, um, I don’t know, we just clicked, I guess?”

Bakugo scoffs to himself. “What, couldn’t have me, so you went with second best?”

Before completely processing what he said, you stare at him in complete disbelief. “What the actual fuck, Bakugo?” you snap.

His blood runs cold; he didn’t realize he actually said that out loud, and to make matters worse, you stopped using his first name; he fucked up. He fucked up big time. “Shit y/n, I'm sorry I didn't-“

“Don’t tell me you didn’t mean it because that’s bullshit,” you say sternly, pointing a finger at him as if scolding a child. “You know you meant that shit.”

“Y/n-,“ he tries to get a word in.

“You don't get to be mad,” you chide.

“I'm not mad!” Bakugo shouts.

“You’re not mad?” You repeat sarcastically because you know he is. “Why else would you say that, then?”

Bakugo groans, his shoulders dropping. “I don't know!”

You ignore him as suddenly all your pent-up emotions and feelings toward him begin to pour out of you. “What did you want me to do, Bakugo? Wait for you? If you forgot, I did!”

“I never asked you to,” he says flatly, his demeanor tense.

“You didn't have to!” you exclaim. “I waited for you because I loved you! I thought… I thought that we could somehow make it work even if we were long distance, and then you stopped texting and calling, so I picked up your slack! and all I got were one-word answers, so I stopped texting and calling too because I wanted to give you space. I kept telling myself that you just needed space, and you’d come back; you'd text me again, but you never did.”

His eyes glaze over as he remembers what he did to you and how he ghosted you because he thought that would be the best option, and obviously now he’s realizing that was actually the worst option he could have chosen. “Y/n, I'm sorry.”

“I don’t want your fucking sorrys,” you spit out. “You’re a piece of shit, Bakugo.”

He sniffles; he knows he is, he just didn’t want you to know that as well. “Y/n, can we please just forget I said anything?“

You laugh. “No, we can't, because even disregarding what happened between us a long time ago, you still called one of your so-called high school best friends second best to you.”

Bakugo is in defensive mode now; he knows he can't come back from this, so why not make it worse? “You only care because he’s your fucking boyfriend; you didn't give a fuck when I called half of these fucking people here second best to me in high school,” he sneers, his voice shaking with rage.

Your jaw tightens as you nod. You’d say you can't believe he'd throw something like that in your face, but it’s Bakugo; when someone goes low, he goes lower. “Fuck you, Bakugo.”

He notices you turning around to begin walking away, and he's ready to reach out and stop you when you look at him from over your shoulder.

“You know, I really was excited to see you,” you mumble, disappointedly. “Bye, Bakugo."

Bakugo's hand falls back to his side as he watches you walk away. When he hears someone behind him, he fights back tears as his hands clench into fists, angry at himself.

“Kacchan,” Izuku says softly.

Bakugo sniffles and wipes his nose roughly. “Fuck off, nerd.”

He ignores him. “I heard most of it.”

Bakugo turns around to face Izuku, his face red and his jaw clenched. “I’m a piece of shit, aren’t I?”

Izuku says nothing but offers Bakugo a small smile as he opens his arms as if to invite him into his embrace, and yes, if this were high school or middle school Bakugo, he would probably scoff and say something to make himself an even bigger piece of shit and then leave, but this is a different Bakugo—well, different in only some aspects apparently—so Bakugo quite literally falls into Izuku’s embrace, the weight causing Izuku to stumble backwards for a moment before he stabilizes both himself and Bakugo, strong enough to carry the both of them, letting Bakugo cry into his arms.

Katsuki Bakugo was too little, too late.

Katsuki Bakugo would always be too little, too late.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[yoyokf1]

The Sun, the Earth, and the Moon

Summary: Not too sure what to put here cause I dont really know what this is about

A/N: I was kinda imagining a story where the mc was in love with a guy but he didn't love her back and idk i put a bunch of references to the balls in the sky in it so yeah also i know nothing about how space works so dont call me out, i doubt anyones going to really see this but i also have no idea how tf to use tumblr im just bored so try not to judge too hard

Warnings: slight mentions of mental health problems? maybe ED's or SH oh and very very slight mentions of drugs/alcohol, bad writing (i dont understand the english language and its the only one i know), is angst a warning?? i think this is angsty, yapping.

WC: 491??

It didn't take much to fall in love with him. He was the Sun, bright and overwhelming in every aspect of his being. I was nothing but the Earth rotating meaninglessly around him. Without him I would be reduced to a dark point in the universe, a void with no life.

My affection for his was endless and I would do anything he wished just to see him happy, to see him smile and laugh, to know that I was the one who made him do it.

Unfortunately though, love is not always reciprocated, and he had no need for me in his love, not in the way that I needed him. So, I hide my feelings, for his friendship is better than him not being there at all, some light is better than none. What more could I want when just a glance in my direction gives me hope and strength so that I stay another day? And why should I ask for more when he is already happy shining his brightness fully on someone else? Why would I be selfish when it is directed to someone more deserving of it than I would ever be.

How could the Sun ever love the Earth? The Earth with its inner poisons and deadly mindsets, how could the Sun love something that is sick? Something that is dying from its own actions of cutting, starving, poisoning.

Yes, it is better that he is shining his light onto someone else.

So, I drift away to be with the Moon, dark and brooding, a reflection of the Sun being the only thing that makes him alive to me. The Moon circles me just like I circle the Sun, but he does not truly care for me. We are both just a means to an end to one another, a person for which we can find solace in as we slowly self-destruct ourselves, hiding in each other's embrace and silently wishing that we were different people.

And the Sun does not care, why would you care when all life revolves around you? Why would you care when you already have everything you need? Why would you care if I stopped showing up? Why would you care if I slowly disappeared? Why would you care at all?

The Moon revolves around me, for I am his darkest desires and his guilty pleasures, he does not truly know or understand me. But who does? I entertain him as when I look at him, I see glimpses of the Sun, even when they are polar opposites. Perhaps it has something to do with the way they both neglect my needs. But everyone is leaving, the Moon is drifting away from me and leaving me alone, and as I too gradually depart from the Sun's warm embrace he does not notice, I am just a means to an end, why would someone want me for who I truly am?

[rfaromance]

I'm new here so idk if you've done this before but what about hurt/comfort with Saeyoung and MC while they're in the apartment, Saeyoung ofc is being Like That. MC tries pushing at first but she's been burned/ghosted by ""friends"" more than once and has low self-esteem and eventually goes "you can just be honest with me you know. if you really don't like me I can take a hint. wouldn't be the first time. i know im not the kind of person other people like." maybe even says she wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the RFA is just being polite so they can hold parties again... and she locks herself in another room, maybe doesn't even check the messenger for the rest of the day.

And Saeyoung, as much as he's trying to be a dick so she won't miss him, just can't fucking do it. he's not going to let MC think she's the problem when he's the asshole (and whoever else has hurt her, but revenge plotting can be done later). she probably won't let him in right away but eventually they talk and maybe cuddle or smthn

"You can just be honest with me, you know."

Luciel didn't look up from his screen when MC spoke, even though the strands of letters and numbers flickering across his computer had turned into a jumbled, soupy mess hours ago. He was accustomed to working through exhaustion, fatigue, malnutrition, and dehydration, so he knew that if he kept pushing, eventually he'd break this obstacle and be working smoothly once again.

He didn't need to stop. Certainly, he didn't need to stop to listen to MC's chattering.

They'd been trying to start conversations with him multiple times since his arrival at the apartment, but he would just tighten his headphones or lean closer to his screen, to make a point. 'I'm busy,' he would convey wordlessly. 'I don't want to talk to you.'

That was a lie, of course; Luciel wanted nothing more than to be close to MC, to hear their woes, and if he could dare dream to be so selfish, to sob into their embrace. But he couldn't risk getting close to someone ever again.

Now that he knew he was a curse that damned everyone he loved to misery.

After seeing what had become of Saeran, who was his entire reason for breathing, he couldn't dare risk accepting MC's snacks, or blankets, or bandages. They'd live a far better, safer, and happier life once he finished restoring the security system and could vanish from their world forever.

"If you don't really like me... I can take a hint."

But nothing... nothing could have prepared him to hear those words leave his beloved MC's mouth.

A harsh bark of laughter came next. Luciel didn't dare look behind him, lest MC know he was listening, but the bitterness in their tone made his stomach twist. "It wouldn't be the first time," they murmured, their voice barely above a whisper. "I've learned by now... that I'm not the type of person that other people like. I'm not the type of person that anyone wants to keep around."

How was he supposed to focus on the flashing symbols on his screen, when warning signals were flashing inside his brain? Luciel could feel his body stiffen as he tried to think of a response. Was it appropriate for him to say anything? Would his words only put MC in more danger? Maybe he could just wait for them to calm down, and then surely someone from the RFA could call to distract them and put a smile on their face.

Someone from their world, a world of light and justice and charity and hope, could put a smile on their face once more and restore their confidence.

Luciel massaged his fingers for a moment, then cracked his knuckles and returned to typing. That should help MC understand that he "wasn't listening," right?

"It's okay," MC murmured. "If you don't want me around, I mean. Actually... I bet everyone else in the RFA feels the same way." Another pitiful laugh escaped their throat. "Maybe... maybe you even said in the chatroom that my location is secret because you wanted me to believe that's why nobody would visit me. I'm just some dumb, lost fool who doesn't know any of you, and I'm not at all fit to fill Rika's role. Maybe... someone begged you for an excuse... Would it be Jumin? Jaehee? A whole separate group chat?"

Every word that left MC's troubled lips cut another slice on Luciel's heart. Were they even talking to him anymore, or were they just voicing the concerns that'd been clogging their thoughts and feelings for days now?

"At least I can be useful. Even if nobody likes me... The RFA is full of good people. If I'm good for nothing else, at least I can help them have a party again. That's enough of a reason to pretend to tolerate me, isn't it?"

Whether he was meant to hear them, he knew he couldn't bear to let MC continue to believe this. Luciel could plow through work against his own pain, but the thought of hurting MC... Even he couldn't handle that adrenaline working against him.

Luciel finally turned his head (against his better judgment), but by the time he could open his mouth to speak, MC was already gone.

The bathroom door slammed behind them.

~~~~~

"Time for dinner, meow! Time for dinner, meow!"

MC nearly tripped over themselves as they got to their feet, their joints and muscles screeching in protest. Carefully they stepped over the side wall of the tub, suppressing a groan as their knees shrieked. They didn't intend to pass out sobbing in the bathtub, but crying is exhausting! One minute they were sniffling into their sleeves, and the next...

Wait, did that robot kitty say "dinner"?

MC nearly tripped again in their shock as they hurried over to the bathroom door. But as soon as they touched the handle, they hesitated. Would Seven--no, Luciel--even want to see them? Shame and guilt washed over them as they remembered what they had said this morning. Confessing that they knew everyone hated them and it wouldn't be the first time? Would he kick them out of the apartment? Would they be fired from the RFA? MC couldn't begin to imagine the conversations that had happened while they were dozing off. They could vaguely recall their phone buzzing from time to time, but half-conscious and wholly-despondent, they'd ignored every message.

"Dinner meow! Don't let it get cold meow!"

Well, if nothing else would motivate MC to face their anxiety, the rumbling in their stomach was rather persuasive. Inhaling deeply, MC turned the handle and opened the door to walk out into the main body of the apartment.

"I hope you like soup."

MC nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of Luciel's voice. He was sitting in his usual spot on the floor, but he was pointing a finger towards the kitchen area. "The broth will be good for you, since you... It's good if you lose fluids," he finished awkwardly. Was he trying to avoid saying "cry"? Wait, did he hear them crying in the tub? "Meowy can help you spruce it up. It's a basic miso soup with some vegetables you had around the pantry."

As if on cue, Meowy pressed its head against your legs. Curiously MC followed, and the corners of their mouth twitched into a smile when they saw the tray of sauces, spices, herbs, and other garnishments by the eager robotic kitty's paws.

"I already had some. Eat as much as you want."

MC wanted to thank him, but they weren't sure if he would want to be bothered now. He'd already gone back to typing with both hands, and his headphones were firmly nestled over his ears with his hood on top of them too. "I..."

"You're important to us. All of us." He spoke up before MC could think of what to say. "Just because you don't like yourself, doesn't mean we can't like you. Got it? Don't try to change my mind."

MC had never tasted such a delicious, heartfelt bowl of soup in their life.

[themoodyestj]

I am not big into SPN at all, just saw some of your posts on someone else's blog. I support you in saying whatever you want to say, and think it's fine to criticize famous people but -- I just think it might be worth it to consider if you're slipping into conspiracy thinking territory. We don't know anything about the lives of famous people other than what they explicitly tell us, and we really have no idea. It feels really weird to see someone as a stranger talk about how an actor doesn't actually love his wife, and calling her trashy and slutty (which is what was on the post that prompted me to click over, after having seen a few) is absolutely rooted in misogyny.

You can criticize her for things she does wrong, but that specifically feels messed up -- 'dressing slutty' is not a moral failure. Criticizing people by calling them ugly, too, is usually misogynistic when aimed at women, and kind of ruins your point: it's not a valid criticism, it just makes you sound hateful. Equating bad behavior to physical ugliness isn't a good habit. All it does is reflect back in shitty ways on people who share physical traits or style choices with the people you don't like, who haven't done anything wrong. If she's been shitty in other ways, ways people actually know about and not speculation, then sure, that's fair game to criticize and discuss, though you'll never know everything behind the scenes. But her looks have nothing to do with that. It's not intentional misogyny, I know, and it's really easy to fall back on because it's everywhere, but it's worth being aware of.

I haven't even seen a full season of Supernatural, so that's not what this is about, I couldn't care less about shipping for that show and I don't ship real people, personally. But I am really interested in celebrity conspiracy theories and some of your language has started sounding really familiar (anticonspiracist on tumblr has been a good resource.) I'm very 'we only know what we're told' with celebrities to an extreme extent, where I genuinely just do not speculate because even if I'm a big fan, if they haven't told anyone, it's not my business, and I'm not expecting everyone to do things exactly that way. There's a lot of middle ground, and I know I'm on the really far end. But I think we also have to step back and embrace that we don't really know these people, and they doubtless have a lot going on that we will never know about, including their personal relationships. Do what you want! But please at least consider if you can make your point in ways that don't unfortunately follow in the footsteps of a lot of misogynistic behavior and cruel comments on people's looks.

You probably won't reply to this, but that's fine. Again, I'm not really in the fandom, so I stumbled across you by coincidence, so I probably won't see your blog much again anyway. I know an essay like this is a weird thing and it might make you doubt that I'm actually an outsider. But I genuinely have no opinion on these people or ships in the fandom or whatever. I just have a lot of opinions on appropriate boundaries in fandom discussions and on unconscious bigotry. Anyway, I wish you the best, and hope your general life is going well.

You'd be wrong. I have no issue answering these posts, provided they are respectful. I have absolutely no problem commenting on my own behaviour and stance, just as I have no problemon commenting on others. That would make me a hypocrite, right? Let's see if I can answer all your points, since your post is very long.

I just think it might be worth it to consider if you're slipping into conspiracy thinking territory.

This is an opinion blog, after all. What I write is my own take on things, what i interpret of the things I see. Ultimately, it is no different from the people who defend Destiel, or talk about Jenneel with the couples goals hashtag. Im just on the other side of the spectrum. You considering this side close to "conspiracy theory" shows me already you have a preference, and maybe youre not so impartial after all. Besides, there is a major difference between me and other people out there: I have no intention on enforcing my opinion on anyone. People read me because they want to. My inbox, however, it's full of people trying to shut me down because it's a threat to their own beliefs.

You can criticize her for things she does wrong, but that specifically feels messed up -- 'dressing slutty' is not a moral failure. Criticizing people by calling them ugly, too, is usually misogynistic when aimed at women, and kind of ruins your point: it's not a valid criticism, it just makes you sound hateful.

This alone tells me that you haven't read my blog in its entirety, and have cherry picked the things you wanted to criticize (very poorly, I may add). The conversation would have been a lot more productive if you actually had good ground to support yourself on, instead of coming to criticize me with no real valid arguments.

I never said Danneel is ugly. I've said she is filled with Botox and it's unbecoming of her, but I too am entitled to have a personal opinion on someone's appearance, and not have a silly justice warrior come here to call me on it. I also complimented her on her new hair color. We do all have physical preferences, do we not? Why is expressing mine misogynistic?

As for dressing slutty, I am going to refer to something that I'll roughly translate from my language as "situational awareness". My remarks are based on the fact that, as the wife of someone famous, Danneel has the responsibility to represent her husband as well as herself, and understand that, although she is allowed to express her creativity, she should be mindful of the surroundings and proper situation. It's not wrong to wear a see-through dress to a party, but i find it tacky that she does it in a situation where pictures will be taken, pics her kids will see. Again, my personal opinion.

Besides, I feel perfectly ok criticizing someone who basically made "being a hot girl" her whole identity. Its the product im shown, it's the product I criticize. That simple. It's not like she's writing master's thesis and Im focusing only on her body.

Oh, and by the way, what about objectifying Jensen? Do you have an opinion on that? Really curious. To conclude, saying my opinion is not valid is the same as saying no opinion is valid because they will always rub someone wrong. So, no, its perfectly valid to me and the people who read me. The others are welcome to block. But I am really interested in celebrity conspiracy theories and some of your language has started sounding really familiar (anticonspiracist on tumblr has been a good resource.)

God, you are so in the wrong blog, then. Did you try Cynifer's blog? She even makes whole speeches on how people should complain and react. Or some AA blogs, where one of them can get completely drowned in criticism because they say something the others dont agree with. Those dont interest you? Oooo I'd really like to see your opinion on how they say Destiel isnt a real thing because the network is homophobic. Or why Jensen is homophobic because he said Destiel doesnt exist, there's a whole article written about it. No? No bells at all?

But please at least consider if you can make your point in ways that don't unfortunately follow in the footsteps of a lot of misogynistic behavior and cruel comments on people's looks.

Why? (laughter) Because it rubbed you the wrong way and you decided they had these qualities to invalidate me? Unfortunately for you, I still reserve myself the right to say what i want to say, as you reserve yourself the right to judge it in any way you want. As much as it may pain you, you are not the gatekeeper of social justice, so nice try.

Again, I'm not really in the fandom, so I stumbled across you by coincidence, so I probably won't see your blog much again anyway. I know an essay like this is a weird thing and it might make you doubt that I'm actually an outsider.

Well, at least there is some self awareness, that's good. Indeed, I highly doubt you wont read this. I cant imagine why a rational person with a life of their own would write such an essay with no intentions of having an asnwer. Besides, for someone who tried very hard to show they are impartial... you failed terribly. I cant even imagine someone wanting to conduct a proper study and writing an ask like you did. In my (perhaps misogynistic) opinion, it's complete garbage.

I just have a lot of opinions on appropriate boundaries in fandom discussions and on unconscious bigotry. Anyway, I wish you the best, and hope your general life is going well. Thank you! I hope your life goes well as well. And for the sake of adding more content to your "study", i invite you to read more of my posts, especially the ones with anon asks. You'll find a lot of lunacy there. But unfortunately, you overlooked those. Perhaps because they didnt fit "your study". Ah well.

[reilleclan-blog]

I was really hoping I could leave my abusive mother but I'm still stuck here. I had lost hope with certain things until I got a call about an apartment and I thought it'd be this but the universe keeps taking opportunities away from me I don't understand what I'm supposed to do . I feel trapped and yeah I feel like I will never escape I don't make enough money for the apartment and it's possibly gone to someone else. I tried getting another client but they haven't reached out to me since last week. Literally posting on the internet and interacting with others is all I have most ppl in my life wouldn't care about anything I feel pride over. I don't want to argue I don't want to fight . I don't I just want to live but it's hard all the time.

At this point I'm gonna say a lot of stuff that is stressing me out and if that means "exposing" then I guess so. My mother began spam texting me to clean .. basically the entire house b/c I'm home or b/c "I don't work a real job" I work part time and with my adhd and autism I'm lucky I still have a job. But I don't understand why I'd ever have to clean this big ass house ON MY OWN when I've cleaned it MULTIPLE times on my own just for my mother to re dirty it not even trying to keep it clean how it was. It feels like if she wants to talk to me she talks to me just to boss me around and that's it. She doesn't have problems with other ppl's daughters helping them or FEEDING them. Cause btw when I moved back in with my mother she wouldn't feed me she'd go out not saying where or when she'd be back and have leftovers spoil or wouldn't let me have anything when she knew I wasn't working and knew I was barely eating.

So yeah the little money I had "saved" went to buying $100 worth of groceries or fast food cause I didn't have many options. And again I'm fucking disabled but nobody cares about that b/c I'm not "disabled on the outside". But back to cleaning this house MOST OF THE MESS is from my MOTHER everything is from my mother. I'm not perfect I have some clothes I haven't picked up a couple unwashed dishes but most of that is from my mother and her doing favors for ppl b/c she wants to be liked or whatever.

I don't have a problem helping my mom but when I'm being berated and told I'm lazy just for this lady to spam text me to clean up HER MESS. And for her to call our family to tell them I'm lazy.. and I'm just wasting oxygen in this stupid fucking house.. that's not a good feeling at all. And I hate that I care for my mother but if I don't do something her way or right away or (in this case cleaning an entire downstairs by myself when it has papers and arts and crafts and HER SHOES and she has a TON of clothes she's bought) I'm immediately "the bad guy" I'm so tired of these fucking ppl I'm so tired of family saying "we don't know what went on in that house" THATS RJFHT U DONT SO WHY THE FJCK DO YALL MAKE ME THE VILLIAN B/C U SEE ONE ASPECT OF OUR LIVES OR INTERACTIONS. I'm so fucking tired THIS IS LKKE EVERYDAY MESS.

Yes I'm not the cleanest but I KEEP MY MESS IN MY ROOM AND MY ROOM WOULD LOOK LIKE THE CLEANIEST IN THIS BITCH IF U SEEN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. IM TJRED I WANT TO LEAVE I WANT TO FUCKING EXPERIENCE THAT MAYBE SOMETHING CAN BE GOOD OUT THERE INSTEAD OF LIVING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. AND MIND U WHEN I WAS ASKING MY MOTHER FOR HELP WITH THE APARTMENT SHE TOLD ME SHE EOULD HELP THEN CHANGED HER MIND AND I BEGSN TK CRY MY EYES IUT BECAUSE JF IT WAS ANYONE ELSES KID SHE WOULD HELP THEM THEN LETTER SHE GAVE ME WHAT I NEEDED BUT WHY WHY DO I CONSTANTLY NEED TK BE HURT BY THESES "ADULTS" IM TOLD IM LOVED BUTNI HAVE NEVER DELT IT NEVER

MY DAD IS JUST S HUSK OF A DUDE I CALL DAD IM SO FUCKING TIRED IM TIRED . I THINK ABOUT SUICIDE ALMOST ALL THE TIME BECAUSE J FEEL BROKEN I FEEL ALONE THATS ALL I FEEL I FUCKING HATE THJS PLACE I actually sh and at this point it really just feels like only options. I feel trapped I try to embrace myself with hobbies I love but I constantly see stuff I don't have or what others have or what's happening around our world but I'm still stuck in this hell hole feeling trapped. I'd say I have become happier as a person but my mother just takes it away and finds any reason to hate me. Yes it feels like she hates me and my father and at this point I don't think anyone can convince me they don't. I want to forget everything and move on but my brain constantly brings up my trauma I don't want to remember it.

If u tell me to "just be positive" I might shoot someone in the face. I'm JOKING HAHAHA I'm just so lost I wish I felt like I was cared for I wish someone would even care as I type this out. Nobody cares not even my blood

I don't think anyone wouldn't care if i disappeared but it'd be too late for anyone to care. I'm sorry I can't hold on I don't know

[queenimmadolla]

This isnt a question about the book but i was wondering, how do you get yourself into a writing flow?

I started my blog in a bad headspace and continuously visit it in that headspace that i dont know how to get out of

My writing is coming out seriously unreadable and i know im a good writer but i can barely verbalize myself and its just coming out as spewage on paper

I understand my problem but i was just curious if you have general tips on what helps you to get into that natural flow xx

I know what you mean. I started this blog when I was in a really bad space mentally, physically, and emotionally, and all I wanted to do was escape into Hawkins (ironic since most people write about their characters wanting to leave it) so I’d write A LOT. Like I was popping these fics out. It was the only time I didn’t have to be hella high—most of the time—to calm my raging anxiety and thoughts (though I was plenty high during this period of my life, but I didn’t have to be high to write about Eddie, like I did to function as a human being).

Now, with the environment here and things as they are, I kinda resorted to getting high again to find enjoyment in posting and being here, and I also get high to write. BUT. I’m trying to break that. And it’s kind of working so I’ll share:

I love ST4 but I do not have the time to constantly rewatch it. So I look up a compilation of Eddie’s scenes on YouTube, and it works every time. Seeing him, hearing him drags me right back in when I’m sure I’ve lost motivation/muse/what you will. And playlists, create a little soundtrack for your story, imagine it like a movie! What’s playing in the background of this scene? Does the entire fic carry the vibe of a song I’ll gladly listen to on loop until the end for? And I’m a maladaptive dreamer, babe. I fantasize and daydream the whole time I’m writing, really helps me get everything down when I feel like i’m watching it play out in front of me.

And don’t beat yourself up about how it’s reading, if it doesn’t read like what you usually write. Sometimes you just have to get what you have out of your head out on a doc. And you might not like how it reads, but plenty of others will. (I say this like I don’t have over 50+ things I’ve written and haven’t posted bc I didn’t like them lol) That’s not to say that you can’t revisit the work later when you feel like you can make some improvements to it! (Hence why I answer requests like 7 months later, sorry guys!!!)

And maybe the spewing is your style! There’s nothing wrong with that, there’s so many different styles of writing and a lot of my friends and people I admire come up with the most AMAZING SHAKESPEAREAN works, while I kind of just write how I talk and think and you can kind of make out the movie period that had the most effect on me from it, lol. And there’s nothing wrong with that or either because both are good! There’s SO MANY MORE than just those two types, btw. So many. And that’s the best thing about writing and sharing what you write, embracing this differences and perspectives is so refreshing and joyous. My style changes quite a bit, though. It used to upset me but I stopped fighting it and just started rolling with it. And people seem to like it. Me included. Hope this helps a little, and drop me a link when you post!!!!

If anyone else has some advice, please add to our discussion!

[upsidedowngrass]

ok so abt the amelia thing i mentioend in the tags of the other post? im thinking abt making a companion fic to the one i just posted but also i wanna preface it w some ideas abt amelia i think abt sm that kinda get undermined by other characters (even as a local liam fan i STILL need amelia in my life you know)

a lot of times? shes just written as Nice. and thats it, unless shes ALSO being portrayed as like... doting on liam and bryce and like im sorry but i dont think thats quite accurate. she IS kind, and she DOES care for her friends but i feel like this compassion gets SUPER oversimplified

the thing is, people make her revolve around the others, and i think there IS some basis for this; she cares abt the others a LOT and tries her best to help!! its a part of her character. but what people miss is that she DOESNT tend to act selflessly like constantly. she spends the first 6 episodes asking and trying SO hard to be up for elimination despite everything, even when stone makes liams team be up for elimination- but the thing is that i dont think not being selfless means shes selfish either, which i think is also overlooked (it CAN be inbetween). shes acting actually not unrealistically in this situation, she wants to be safe so it MAKES SENSE that she doesnt really think abt bryce or liam going home and tbh i think thats ok. shes under a lot of stress. the fact that everyone was divided into teams likely didnt help either

but then comes ep 7, and the fact that she loses the contest on purpose to get liam home i think overshadows this? and like she is 100% such an mvp here and i think she is literally so kind bc yeah liam Has gone thru the wringer at this pt. but this scene isnt Revealing that she Actually Wants To Look Out For Them Above All Else, its... very realistic guilt. a LOT of how i see her character i think revolves around guilt that i never see ppl portray her w

the thing is that i dont think she likes to see ppl unhappy, as very frequently shown and explained thru her helping the others! shes the one who is frequently shown looking out for others, and this IS bc shes very compassionate!!!! but i think it is partially abt the fact that it 1. is smth she can control, its smth she can DO, and 2, that if she doesnt help it kinda seems like it eats at her? helping the others during those 7 months WAS about caring abt them!!! and its just also that when ppl she cares abt are struggling , it helps her, too, to help them, yknow?? like its One thing that can make the plane more Safe and comfortable, and bc she DOES look out for people, but this IS often when worst comes to worst- shed help before that, yeah! but i think before it gets REALLY bad its easy for her to get overwhelmed with her OWN problems. this is only pushed to the extreme when the only thing she CAN do to make living on the plane bearable is to forget everything before it and embrace it, and subsequently, pushing those problems on the wayside, its a LOT easier to help others

as for the guilt, i feel like the scene in ep 7 is abt compassion but also about. SUCH heavy guilt. its not her fault, but she was also the only one who was Actively Aware of the fact that liam would sink, AND able go down there. and i think thatd mess with ANYONE. and the fact that suddenly this person she Couldve helped before Couldnt Be Comforted because she Couldnt Stop The Worst From Happening kinda like. Got to her. in ep 7, it isnt that things "revolve around liam," now, its the fact that she feels GUILTY. now looking back at every competition she tried to have HER team lose seems like just another instance she couldve stopped him from drowning before it happened. its extreme guilt, because blaming airy was easy, but airy doesnt budge, and all she has control of here is potentially helping others, and its like she failed, and she wants soooo badly to make up for it, because she already cared abt liam, but now theres also guilt around the fact that she DIDNT act selflessly because it WAS smth she could do. and it fucks me up so much