#i know i said i was supposed to draw weird shit............. bear with me here please

[augustameretrix]

cailtyn + squishy cheeks

[woominutes]

teddy bear | ko kyungjun x fem!reader

you found yourselves aimlessly walking around the neighborhood, kyungjun leading the way as you follow behind him. it was always relaxing to walk with him whenever he was in a good mood.

your eyes were wandering around the houses and shops when your gaze fell on a mid-sized teddy bear on display on the window of a small store, it immediately reminded you of your boyfriend in some way. "kyungjun, look!" you stop walking, pulling him towards your side while pointing at the teddy bear that had immediately captured your heart. "it looks like you!"

in his typical cocky manner, kyungjun laughs at the teddy bear which does in fact resemble him a tiny bit. "don't try to be cute with me, stupid," he shoves your shoulder playfully and scoffs.

you bite your lip, wondering if taking the comment further would put him into one of his moods. "but it does look like you..." the soft mumble that leaves your mouth catches his attention, noticing the way your gaze lingers on the stuffed animal. he snorts, his mood softening just a little, "fine, it does look like me. but don't think i'm going to actually buy it or any stupid shit like that."

"i never said anything about buying it, kyungjun," you groan as you link your arms so you can keep walking around. it would be weird to get upset over a teddy bear but you wanted it. he glances over at you and rolls his eyes, "so why were you pointing it out, then? just to mess with me?"

you groan, annoyed that he hasn't taken the hint yet, "i just genuinely thought it resembled you."

in response, he rolls his eyes and bumps your hip, "keep telling yourself that, y/n."

he leads you down the street and eventually into an empty playground. he heads for the swing without any hesitation, his long legs making his steps create a quick distance between you two. "come here," he calls you over once he takes his seat on the blue swing.

"what?" you sigh as you make your way to the swing, standing still in front of him and running a hand through his hair.

he wraps his arms around your waist, a small smile tugging on his lips, "just come here, stupid." he pulls you down and places you on his right thigh with a firm grip on your hips.

you are not startled, that is a regular movement coming from him. he gets what he wants whenever he wants it. you sit on his thigh comfortably, looking at him in the darkness of the night.

kyungjun gently strokes your cheek and chuckles softly. it's late and the playground is empty at this hour, the street lamps light the area, creating a romantic atmosphere. you sit there silently for a while, breathing in sync, until he breaks the silence.

"you really wanted that teddy bear, huh?" he stares into your eyes, his expression softening and his body relaxing.

"i suppose..." you nod as you move your gaze to the ground. you can't say you felt connected to a plushie that reminded you of him, it would sound weird.

he smiles softly and brushes the hair back from your face, grabbing your chin to make you face him again. his tone is gentle, filled with affection, "it's adorable how much things like that matter to you, you know."

"why?" you tilt your head slightly, genuinely wanting to see your boyfriend's point of view and what drew him towards this statement. he's not usually expressive so hearing his raw thoughts is rare.

kyungjun's expression softens even more. there's a hint of tenderness in his voice as he squeezes your hips, "it's just you. you seem to find beauty in everything. if you like something, no matter how small or unimportant it may seem to others, you just like it."

"hm..." you trace the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair again. you know there is a deeper meaning to his words, a much more personal one. "are you talking about yourself?"

his breath catches and he doesn't answer for a few seconds. he holds you tight as he lets those words sink in and feels his own emotions, "maybe..."

your other hand drops to his back, drawing big circles of comfort and support, "want to talk more about it?"

he tightens his hold on you and pulls your body even closer, burying his face in the curve of your neck. his expression is distant but his eyes tell another story, revealing the tender feelings behind them. "not right now..." he mutters as he nuzzles his head into your neck.

"kyungjun, you have to open up." you remind him, kissing his forehead. there is no way he can run away without explaining how he fits into the sentence.

he groans softly and turns his head away. he knows it's true, he knows that you're right. he doesn't want you to think that he isn't vulnerable, when in truth he is, he's just afraid of showing it. he finally decides to open up. he swallows his pride with difficulty, "maybe i am just a teddy bear too..."

you pause before bursting out in a fit of laughter that lasts a couple of seconds. "no, i meant–" you try to suppress a giggle, it's not out of mockery but pure adoration.

"seriously, about what you said..." your laughter dies down as the topic turns serious again, "about me liking something small and unimportant, did you mean yourself?"

he holds you close and sighs. he seems a bit upset as he confesses, "yeah... yeah, that's right. honestly... when I think of myself, i don't see much. i guess i'm just a plain guy."

as he says this, kyungjun's expression dims. a silence fills the air as he takes a deep breath and regains his composure. his eyes meet yours, his expression serious as well, "but you make me feel important. when you look at me with those adorable eyes, I don't feel plain at all. my world seems colorful when I'm with you."

he leans forward and kisses you gently on the lips. it is a much more gentle kiss than the usual ones you share. you both pull away after a moment and he sighs contently. the playful mood seems to be changing to a more intimate one. "you are not plain, kyungjun..." you whisper your truth, looking into his eyes.

he smiles softly and strokes your cheek, "maybe you're right... maybe I'm more than what i think i am, you know?"

his expression relaxes even more as he leans forward and places another gentle kiss on your lips. you didn't share big words of reassurance but they were always enough, for you and for him.

his fingers glide along the curve of your lower back while he pulls you into him and holds you tightly. once he has you as close as possible, his hands move to your waist and he places his forehead against yours, gazing at you with a look of love and adoration. "now, let's go get you that teddy bear," he pats your back and helps you up so he can stand on his feet too.

"really?!" you shriek in surprise, your eyes widening. just when you had accepted that the teddy bear would be a forgotten memory, he reminded you of it again. kyungjun chuckles at your cute expression and nods as he grabs your hand, "yes, it's time you got your beloved teddy bear."

the two of you walk hand-in-hand towards the store, your footsteps rhythmic and smooth, the air is cool and refreshing, the street lights illuminating your path. he looks at you affectionately as the wind blows through your hair, he really does love you.

unfortunately, time had passed and the store had closed. kyungjun notices this first, his expression falls upon realizing that you were too late to go to the store and he growls in frustration, "fuck."

it was a long shot anyway, and there was no way it would've been open since you first passed by. he turns to you with an apologetic look as he squeezes your hand, "i'm sorry, y/n, they're closed."

you stare at the closed store, a look of disappointment flashing through your eyes but you shake your head, not wanting kyungjun to feel bad. "it's alright," you look up at him with your lips pursed into a sympathetic smile.

he notices your disappointment and feels bad because of it. he feels even worse once you try to make him feel better. your look of sympathy makes him feel guilty, he feels like he let you down. he squeezes your hand again and lets out a resigned sigh.

"i'm sorry, i should've bought it earlier. that's so stupid of me," he was hesitant to buy the teddy bear because he felt a bit embarrassed about it. he thought it wouldn't suit his bad boy act but now he feels regretful for thinking too much because he could have made you, his girlfriend, happy.

"it's really okay, it's just a stuffed animal," you rub his forearm to reassure him while squeezing his hand. in truth, the teddy bear was indeed just a stuffed animal that he could buy tomorrow, he could've easily bought it back then and made you happy but now that you were disappointed, it felt different. now he felt bad because you felt bad too.

he doesn't like it when he disappoints his girlfriend. you were right, it was just a plushie. however, it was also an important thing for you because you felt connected to it. "i know it's just a stuffed animal... but it mattered to you."

he could have bought it without thinking too much. now, all he can do is feel bad for not being able to get it for you.

"kyungjun, it's fine."

it's clear that you were a tiny bit disappointed by the fact that you couldn't get the plushie but you also feel upset because kyungjun blames himself when he shouldn't. you don't like it when he feels bad because you know very deep down that he's a really sensitive person.

"why the long face? it's not like you!" you chuckle and nudge him, trying to brush the matter off. that makes him crack a smile but it seems like he is still feeling bad about it, though your words seem to cheer him up at least a bit.

you pull him closer for a moment, trying to comfort him. you lean into him and wrap your arms around his waist, gently rubbing his back. you can sense how guilty he feels, and you know how he takes your disappointment to heart. it's a sign that there is a sweet and vulnerable side to kyungjun, a side that you adore. "come on, it's not that big of a deal."

your tone is gentle and reassuring, trying to prevent him from feeling like this any longer. he is quiet for a few seconds but your reassurance and soft touch make him feel better. he relaxes his body and lets you hold him, enjoying the feeling of your arms around him.

your touch is calming in a way, and it's the type of comfort that makes him feel at ease. he smiles warmly at you and squeezes your waist before he suddenly grabs the back of your thighs with his big palms, "i can be your teddy bear instead."

you yelp softly as you are lifted up against your boyfriend's body, grabbing onto his biceps and wrapping your legs around him so your thighs rest next his hips. your face is mere inches away from his, and you stare at him with an adorable expression on your face.

"you were waiting for your chance, huh?" you giggle, completely comfortable and enjoying the feeling of his body against yours, his strength is oddly comforting. kyungjun smirks at your response, his hands fondling your thighs when he starts walking, "maybe I was, you'll never know."

he seems to enjoy teasing you a bit, he always has. his facial expression has playful elements as he keeps massaging the back of your legs. "so let's forget about the toy and just pretend i'm your cuddly teddy bear for all purposes."

you look up at him with a knowing grin, "all purposes?"

he shrugs his shoulders jokingly, "you heard me, all purposes. you were planning to hug and kiss your teddy bear, no?" he chuckles softly with a teasing twinkle in his eyes.

"I was not planning to kiss it!" you hit his shoulder, not wanting him to even think about a scene like that happening. kyungjun chuckles again at how defensive you get about it. it's cute how he can embarrass you so easily, just from a simple harmless joke, "you sure?"

he pulls you a little closer to his body as he continues to speak and he whispers slightly so that no one but you can hear him, "you're so cute when you try to deny it. i bet you would kiss your teddy bear when nobody is looking."

"i would not!" you yell in embarrassment, burying your face into his neck while holding his shoulders tightly, your eyes closing as you get flustered. he feels your grip around his shoulders tighten and your breath quicken against his throat, a sign that you're blushing.

he gazes ahead with an accomplished smile, taking the route to his house, "call your mom."

"call my mom?" you frown in confusion at the sudden demand, pulling away from his neck to look at him. he had actually gotten your mom to like him and he even texted her himself but it was odd to bring her up now.

kyungjun lets out a playful snort, "so you can tell her that you won't be home until tomorrow morning," he says it in a lighthearted tone but it's very clear what he's implying. teddy bear for all purposes, he said.

"oh..." and you reach for your phone inside the pocket of your skirt without realizing it.

by the time you wake up in the morning, your boyfriend's absence from the bed makes you open your eyes wide and search for him around the room, only to find the teddy bear you wanted so much by the side of your feet.

you chuckle softly, knowing he woke up early to buy it for you. as you sit up, you notice the added piercing on its left ear and the card strapped to its little bow tie.

– from your actual teddy bear, kyungjun ♡

© to @woominutes on tumblr; do not repost or steal

[foxingpeculiar]

Disco Elysium liveblogging, round 3 (spoilers):

Okay, so I’m talking to the Union dudes on morning two. There’s a LOT going on here. 1) I did not expect them to confess, just like that. Like I thought they were gonna draw that out longer, at least. So what does that mean, where is this going? Is that there is an eighth person (a woman) unaccounted for? Is it that Whirling hired mercenary strikebreakers on the sly? Who are they protecting and why? How are those things going to tie into each other? I need to talk to that lady on the boat again—she’s up to her neck in this. 2) The way these guys are describing the behavior of the man they killed… sure sounds like something Harry would do, based on some of the prompts I was getting at the start of the game. Y’know, the whole “I’m Oranjenese (or w/e) Special Forces and I’m gonna fuck you all!” while singing karaoke bit. And the worse stuff—the harassment and rape… I dunno, there’s a sexual self-loathing flavor to some of Harry’s subconscious that I could see that fitting into pretty neatly. They’re really hammering home the connection between Harry and the corpse, like HARD. That has to have some major significance (and I still think it’s an ontological one at this point, at least in some way).

The cargo container is fucking with me. Like IS there some significance to it, and that’s why it keeps prompting me to think about that? Or is this the game playing “what’s in the box” to make some psychological point about me as a player? Like, I am *I* getting played by being as drawn to that as Harry potentially is? This feels like the kind of game that would pull that shit, and hard.

The highest mountain in the world is a volcano called “Corpus Mundi?” Okay. What is a volcano—it’s where new Earth spills out from underneath the surface. It’s also specifically a shield volcano. Which, scientifically, I think refers to the shape, but c’mon… shield, like defense, like from something horrible? And Corpus Mundi? That’s almost too easy. A direct acknowledgement of a layered existence, I suppose you could say. Like the hits just keep coming that all is not as it seems here.

And that ^ is why I knew before I even clicked on it that whatever was behind the “Slipstream SCA” button was gonna be weird. I was not disappointed. And like whatever she was talking about, it fits with the whole “left and leaving” theme that’s been cropping up. And it said she sounded “submerged,” which reminded me of the whole car-saying-it-was-underwater thing. I dunno. Why’d she call me Michel, though? Something to tick away.

Okay, I knew there was going to be something with the racist mug. So Evrart talked me into doing his thing (that conversation generally did not go that well) and, cat-killing curiosity be damned, I went in and now here we are. Kim is like “I don’t think this will lead to anything” but I do.

I sweet-tongued Plaisance (“yeah, I’m totally a paranormal detective!”) and now I’m back examining the diagram on the wall in, I think the window shop? The network of radio frequencies. And the one at the center is called “The Game Master Frequency,” and a thing about “Developers of the most advanced RPG in the universe.” I just… I dunno. Is there some meta-level happening here? Something else to kind of watch for. Like on the “Project Dread Board” nearby, the “Heat Death scenario” wherein “Wirral becomes untethered from its sun, drifting through the Universe.” That sounds like a very flowery way of describing a breakup, and maybe, by extension, the game I’m currently playing?

So I got the body into the bear fridge (which is awesome, btw) and then, against the odds (28%) passed the perception check and found the bullet. So what do I know? Dude was killed with a bullet. Meaning the Union dudes are protecting someone by faking a lynching. That someone is probably a woman, the so-called “eighth Hardie” and she has an odd gait. There’s also supposedly a woman hiding back in here somewhere (the “entity” that Plaisance was talking about). And there’s the mysterious nightclub lady at the Whirling-in-Rags. But I dunno. I guess we’ll see.

Okay, hold up. I’m talking to the dice lady, who says that none of the doorbells on the building work. But I talked to Plaisance through one, and heard the weird Slipstream message through another. So either she’s an unreliable source of information or I’m hallucinating. Either way, that seems worth registering. Wait no, Tricentennial Electric was there 100 years ago? Okay, so… I dunno. I don’t know what to make of that. This lady seems genuine, I guess, but there’s something creepy about her, lurking back here.

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Diary time, once more. Long post warning, as usual.

Some people who were mature enough to experience it have said on various social media platforms I use that this November is giving... November 2004.

20 years ago.

Recently, I did a little post on here about a few things that I was into circa fall 2004 and how some new animated stuff that came out this autumn was similar to that. TRANSFORMERS ONE lined up with my love of BIONICLE and MEGAS XLR and stuff like that back in the day, and THE WILD ROBOT with its nature themes, seasonal timeline, and North American animal characters lined up w/ my then-obsession with BROTHER BEAR, a movie that was about a year old by the time I was regularly spinning my DVD of it. Now also throw in PIECE BY PIECE, a LEGO movie featuring music that was big circa 2003-2005... And Orange Fartfrog winning a second term Grover Cleveland-style... Ohhhhh shit. It really do be Kyle's 2004-Core, huh?

Anyways, I was 12 when Dubya was re-elected. I was completely oblivious to pretty much any and all political matters at that age. I was aware he was president and that a lot of people did not like him at all, and a few other things (obviously 9/11 and everything being about terrorism). I tuned out whenever my family talked politics at dinner or get-togethers or whatever.

Now, my life was far from perfect at that time. I have as many terrible memories as I do good ones from that period, and the good ones are just so good that I really cherish them. I guess those middle school-era memories are ingrained in one's brain, eh? All those interests you made and collected, all the creative endeavors you pursued, core stuff to you. Oh, to be an oblivious scrunkly weird kid again, without the bullshit, getting all excited about your obsessions and looking forward to seeing those friends of yours at school who make going slightly less horrible. No financial worries or anything like that, though if I was openly queer back then... Ho-ho-hoooo no. And Dubya went after queers, his re-election did center eliminating gay marriage.

And being in middle school, that's when I started to experience those queer-er feelings a little bit more than ever before. I remember drawing characters of mine crossdressing a lot, and generally being like "ladies". I wanted to wear women's clothes, and often read the fashion magazines that were in my house... But little beyond that. Using "gay" as a slur, an insult, was common back then, too. I did my fair share of that back when I thought I was a cis-male, hanging out with other male classmates and being an asshole like they were. I didn't know anyone at the time who was openly gay or trans or any kind of queer, either. I have an uncle who is queer, but I didn't discover that he is just that until a few years later. Mid-2008 I want to say. That helped kill whatever queerphobia was stinking up the insides of my brain back in the day. Where was I? Oh yeah, so it was both that and also wanting to wear a skirt and high fashion boots and be ladylike. Men wearing those things, oooh naughty... And kinda sexy. What a dichotomy, and I largely kept that a big secret. And yet I didn't in some ways, weirdly. It wasn't enough to make my folks suspect anything, interestingly. Again, drawing my characters crossdressing, them crossdressing in parts of those stories just because. The plot barely called for it.

But, those feelings of bliss remain something I long for. Suppose I woke up tomorrow morning, and the only thing my 32-year-old ass had to worry about was... Oh, I dunno, I fell a little bit behind in making my comic or I lost a game or I didn't go and get that milkshake I've been craving. No, in 2004, that was all pelted by shit. Like how terrible school could be for me, and other assorted unfair things. I also tended to be a little shit back then. If I can redo 2004 with my brain as it is now? Oh goodness, it'd be something lol.

Whereas most adults in 2004 who didn't drink conservative arsenic (as opposed to what they call "Liberal Kool-Aid"), they've said that November 2004 felt just like these past few weeks: Bleak, the feeling that it was all over, and utter disappointment in Americans who re-elected him.

And yet, Dubya tripped up once more, fucked up even harder, Democrats kicked ass in the 2006 midterms, and the electorate got fed up over time. Thus, in 2008, all changed. Literally. But I suspect many Americans like that just have some kind of collective amnesia, or they're naive enough to believe that that badness they hated about Dubya wouldn't happen again. Thus, Discount Mussolini getting elected in 2016 and again this year.

Maybe the 2026 and 2028 elections repeat 2006 and 2008.

I don't subscribe to defeatism, so miss me with that "if we even HAVE elections by then", please go process your worries elsewhere. If anything, Orange Turdgoblin and his band of fucked-up freaks will do a record-breaking speedrun of Dubya's second term, and Americans will be fed up in no time. If those proposed tariffs are anything to go by, ditto other things. The "moderates" who seem to decide our elections every cycle, who voted for him based on "vibes"... are going to be disappointed very soon, I feel. More ammo for us to regain the Senate and the House, and roadblock him once more. Like we did after 2018. As bad as that first term was, I can only imagine how much WORSE it could've been.

And once his time is up... Who are we left with in the GOP in 2028? Juice-less bores who have none of that guy's supposed "charisma", as far as I can see. And that includes the utterly creepy-ass VP-elect. But, that's far off. Midterms are my priority first and foremost, and whatever elections are held next November.

Maybe if I were 32 in the year 2004, I would've had similar feelings. Maybe even worse, because as far as I can see, the country was way less accepting of people like me back in those days. Some elder queers here and there have confirmed that for me, through talking about their experiences and what life was like back then. Maybe I would've felt way worse in 2004 if I were that age and were well aware of who I am. It's possible I wouldn't have been!

No, on the morning after Election Day, I felt so awful and just deeply disappointed in so many people. Angry, terrified. I spedrun a gamut of emotions and anxiety whirlwinds for a few days. On that day, I still had it in me to pull myself together to go see a movie, and I did. I saw PIECE BY PIECE, on one of its last days at cinema. Where I also happen to work. And I still saw some of my co-workers, and after that... I still had people to read from online to help me process all of this stuff... So, I had some help, even if it wasn't the amount I'd like to have (such as more security and options in case something is to go wrong for me), it's still something.

I then kicked my own ass and said "Well Kyle, things could go very badly over the next few years... Better go make your comic and other stuff, then! Even if it's shit, go out there and make a thing!" So I did. And I will continue to do so. I don't know what will happen to me from now until early 2029, so, I might as well get going on something. Make each day count. COVID-19 and other complications did that for me back in 2020-21, I took risks and made life strides I wouldn't have imagined doing merely a year prior to that. I want to keep that up.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Part 1 of ?????

Started writing this fic a while ago and then lost faith in it. Should I continue? Feel bad for not posting much lately so I thought I'd share this. Read on and weigh in.

COME OUT TONIGHT

NO

You don't have to fucking shout?

Said the pot to the kettle?

Oh you grandmother The caps were an accidental by-product of voice-to-text Blame Siri if you're going to blame anyone

You have a Samsung Galaxy S20.

HAD. It got smashed. Worst luck. Listen, come out with me tonight.

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm tired!

https://www.boots.com/wellness/vitaminsandsupplements/vitamins-supplements-shop-by-ingredient/echinacea

Hah (indifferent)

Just come out with me! Isaac has to go see some godawful student performance of the Antigone in wherever the fuck Chichester is and it's Sirius's flatmate's birthday party so I have to go and I don't know any of his weird mates

You don't HAVE to go.

Have to/want to Semantics

I'm not in a birthday party mood. I'm having a stressful week. My arse has been tense since Tuesday.

I will wade into the deep and massage your arse if I have to, just come It's a swank pad in Belgravia! I bet they'll have all sorts of expensive nibbles!

I read that as expensive nipples.

Those too!

Partying it up with the children of wealthy Tories. Sounds super fun.

Just come out with me, for fuck I'll pick you up at 7 and we can steal their silverware if it's boring as the grave

URGH I'll go but I'm NOT dressing up!

You don't have to dress up!

FINE!

*

take the drawings down please i'm begging you i'm actually begging you

Nah mate

siriusssssssss pleeeeeease

Nah

PLEASE

Nah

PLEASE ffs it's MY birthday!!!! there are going to be PEOPLE there! standing around! AT EYE LEVEL

I don't see what the problem is.

EVERYONE will see what the problem is! they literally will not be able to IGNORE what the problem is!

Sounds like a recipe for lively discussion to me tbh

that is NOT what i want people talking about at my birthday!

If I take them down, I'll have to take all the nails out and that'll leave nail marks all over the walls. It would be unsightly.

MORE UNSIGHTLY THAN YOUR DICK, SIRIUS?

My dick is bewitching.

DIE

*

She walks in expecting to find herself the infiltrator of a Made in Chelsea/Royal Ascot/Henley Regatta netherworld, filled with a gaggle of giggling, SW-postcode socialites wielding suspiciously powder-edged Harrods Amex cards in the place of horses and boats, but that's not what actually greets her on the other side of the lacquered front door.

What greets her is really quite ordinary.

Aside from the naked drawings of Kingsley's mate, which aren't.

Otherwise, the whole affair is pretty relaxed. People her age are clustered in their small groups, swigging beers. There's a table of oven-heated party foods, salty snacks and rapidly depleting ramekins of guac. She spies more band shirts than there are dress shirts. There's a round of Fortnite in full swing on the TV.

It's all just...startlingly normal. A normal birthday party.

And that's sort of embarrassing, really.

Where are all the visible Tory toffs, she wonders? Where is the braying laughter? The Eton alumni reunion? The glimpse of hunting-happy tweed and shotgun barrels as a coat cupboard door swings shut? Where's the indelible air of sneering superiority, of "we're richer and more privileged and better than you, so fuck the NHS and death to foxes!" that she'd been expecting? There's a fucking Henry Hoover in the corner of the hall, for Christ's sake. Lily came here to smile through her teeth at them all, to listen to the champagne problems privilege that bubbled from their lips and tell herself that she was the one who knew better, who thought better. Her plain white tee and skinny jeans and scuff-toed, high-top trainers were supposed to be a statement, a subtle setting-apart, but she's not even the most underdressed person in the room.

She pre-judged a house full of people. What's that about?

There's a lesson to be found in this. Perhaps.

*

James covered all of the dicks in Paw Patrol stickers that he bought from the newsagent on his way home from his mum's, but Sirius peeled them all off while he was taking a soothing lavender bath, so what's the bloody point in birthdays anyway?

It's early in the evening, and he's wedged—against his will—between the dining room bar and Shane Ruttle, who has just pointed at one of the many lamentable dicks and asked, "Is this one of yours?" which James kind of wants to thump him for. It's bad enough that he looks like a madman who stuffed his house with naked drawings of his brother, now people are actually assuming that he drew the damn things, even though most of the compositions are appallingly far beneath his skill level. He's a professional illustrator, for the love of god, and Shane is really standing before him like the posturing prick he is, asking him if he's the one who drew Sirius with one arm disproportionately longer than the other.

He knows that he should cheer up.

It is his birthday. There is cake.

Good cake, too, not the kind that gets buried in too-thick fondant that he has to pick off before he can eat what's underneath.

The problem is, there's also a party, and his friends are his friends, Peter and Sirius included, and Peter and Sirius can both get drunk much faster than James can. When Peter and Sirius get drunk, serious injuries tend to follow, Remus tends to fuck off in a flash and James tends to be the one who calls for an ambulance or mothers them back to health—physical, mental or otherwise. He has just turned twenty-six, and these repeated, drunkenly dramatic medical emergency scenes are starting to wear a little thin.

Can't a man get comfortably drunk and have a laugh at his own birthday party?

No, he can't, because Peter's already halfway to trashed, wobbling unsteadily towards the French doors that lead to the terrace, wearing that look on his face that says I'm definitely going to vomit or maybe even shit myself like I did on that one night we all spent in Munich with the Belgian handball team and the creepy tour guide who couldn't keep his sleazy hands to himself. For the sake of sparing the lawn such a punishment, James hastily removes himself from Shane, grabs Peter by the collar, shoves him in the direction of the downstairs loo and retreats to the safety of the living room, where there are, at least, no naked drawings of Sirius gracing the walls.

Most of the people in here are transfixed by Saffy Stephens, who is down to the last three in her Fortnite game and cursing like a sailor, but there are a small pile of birthday cards on the end table where James and Sirius normally keep their keys. He perches on the sofa arm, sets his half-drunk beer bottle on the carpet, pushes his dark, disheveled hair away from his forehead and begins leafing through them. It's a necessity when one lives with Sirius, who thinks nothing of swiping gift cards when the mood strikes him and he's had enough to drink.

They're mostly from his female friends, and all pretty standard, until he reaches the middle of the pile and finds a card bearing a picture of a moustached tabby and the caption: Have a Purr-fect Birthday!

The inscription inside is written in a lovely, swirling hand.

To Jasper/Jack/Jason/maybe Ja Rule?/J-something idk

(see above: everything I've learned about you from the friend* I came here with, verbatim)

(*who can't remember your name)

Happy Birthday! Thank you for (not) specifically inviting me, a stranger, to your party to celebrate this momentous event in your life. Please enjoy this festive card/social nicety/convention from me to you. My friend brought rum which you may prefer.

I'll be around. Not that you'll know.

LE

James lowers the card and twists on the sofa arm at once, eyes darting around the room in search of its author, as if they might be laying in wait to watch him read it and see how he reacts. Nobody appears to have ducked behind the couch, however, so the situation merits further scrutiny.

Obviously, he needs to meet this person.

A mystery! At his birthday party!

He perks right up after that.

*

She's coming out of the downstairs loo when a short, blonde man in a garish Hawaiian shirt barrels past her and pukes all over the chequerboard tiled floor, narrowly missing her jeans.

"Oh no," he moans into his wet hands. "Oh no—"

"There there, mate," says Lily consolingly, never one to judge somebody for getting drunk early at a party. She pats him on the back before squeezing past him and rejoining Kingsley, who is standing in one of this meandering Georgian house's many hallways, chatting to a bloke in a houndstooth sweater vest and holding two glasses of something very, very sparkly that she must try at once.

"It's like...it's like everything and nothing at the same time," Houndstooth Bloke is saying when Lily draws close, gesturing to a huge canvas painting of a rain-soaked fairground at night.

"Is it?" Kingsley asks.

"Mmm. Very." Houndstooth shakes his shoulders like he's slipping out of a robe. "Meant to be esoteric, I suppose."

That sounds suspiciously like pretentious bullshit to Lily, who doesn't find the concept of a merry looking fairground all that difficult to absorb. Kingsley knows more about the art world than she does, but he must agree with her assessment because he grunts and shoves her glass into her hand when she stops beside him, and more roughly than she deserves, as if she's the one who landed him in this mess of a conversation to begin with.

Trust him to find himself stuck with the only dick (not etched by a 4B Steadtler graphite pencil) in the building, and trust her to be stuck with the person who got himself stuck with King.

"What are we talking about?" she asks brightly, just to fuck with him.

"Drink your champagne, there's a good little hen," King mutters, his teeth clenched together, hallway lights bouncing off the smoothly waxed dome of his bald head.

"We've been discussing this piece." Houndstooth nods to the painting, but his limpid eyes narrow on Lily's face. "Christ, you're very redheaded, aren't you?"

It's decided. She'll wait 'til Houndstooth is drunk and trip him up with Henry Hoover's hose.

"Ergo soulless, yes," she agrees.

"And you...enjoy that?" he asks, as if being redheaded is her profession.

"Very much, thanks."

"Hmmp. Well. I came here with Saffron," he announces, pronouncing it Sef-ron. As if Lily is supposed to know who that is. "Platonically, of course. Actually, we're some sort of cousins, I think. What do you think the artist is trying to convey?"

He's very pointedly asking her, so Lily blinks at the painting, her eyes on the outstretched arm of a child on the carousel.

"I like the pretty colours," she decides aloud.

"Right," says Houndstooth, "but that's not—"

"And the lights, too. The lights are really pretty."

"But—"

"I love funfairs, actually," she brightly continues, finding a strange satisfaction in playing dumb in front of Houndstooth and his overbleached fade. Although she does really like the colours. "Haven't been to one in years!"

"Yes, good, whatever, but what is the artist trying to convey?"

"What artist?" comes a voice from behind them.

Lily glances over her shoulder and finds herself looking up at the man whose penis she's spent the past thirty minutes avoiding eye contact with, though he is taller, better proportioned and infinitely more beautiful than any of those crudely drawn depictions could possibly convey. He is also beplumed and bejewelled like a pirate, wearing a sumptuous velvet jacket over a loose white shirt, numerous rings on his fingers and an assortment of silver chains around his slender neck, while his grey eyes and elegantly high-set cheekbones are framed by a tumble of black hair that genuinely looks like silk.

The man is so beautiful, in fact, that Lily immediately wonders why he's been taking sketches home from the life drawing class that he and Kingsley pose for—hence their acquaintance and Lily's presence at this party—when nothing she's seen tonight has done him any justice.

Most happily, his penis is tucked safely out of sight.

"Alright, Sirius?" says King.

"Alright, Marvel?" Sirius claps a hand to the taller man's massive shoulder. Kingley's muscles bulge in a way that cannot be hidden by modern habiliments. "What are we talking about?"

"Not much." Houndstooth looks put out by the arrival of yet another person. "We were just mesmerised by this piece."

Lily refrains from gesturing to the painting with both hands and a "ta-dah!" choosing instead to sip her champagne.

It's very good champagne. Mmm. Yes.

"Oh, yeah, it's really something," Sirius agrees. He brushes past Kingsley and runs a finger over the illegible squiggle of a signature on the canvas. His nails are beautifully manicured. "Local guy, young up-and-comer. I assume you've heard of Algernon?" he asks Houndstooth, fixing him with a steely-eyed stare.

"Er, yes." Houndstooth's gaze slides from Sirius to the painting. "I know him."

Sirius's eyebrows lift. "Know him personally?"

"Well—"

"That's so weird, I heard he never speaks to people."

Houndstooth chews on the inside of his cheek, weighing up the challenge. "How…funny."

"Funny?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just, I know I've spoken to him before, and since you've bought his painting I assumed that you'd have—"

"That is funny, actually," Sirius interrupts, "because the artist is my brother, and Algernon is the name of his cat."

Kingsley has been tugging on his earring and almost rips it out of his ear as his body convulses, champagne spraying from his nostrils, while an alarming red flush sweeps across Houndstooth's face and he begins to sputter on his own self-importance. Sirius has clearly decided that he's done with all of that noise, however, because he turns back to Lily instead, looking her up and down with great and sudden interest.

"Who's this then?" he asks Kingsley, cocking his head to one side. "James's present?"

The champagne glass swings down and Lily fixes him with a deadpan stare. "Excuse me?"

Sirius slants a grin at Kingsley, a quick flash of teeth. "This one's queenly, isn't she?"

Kingsley wipes his nose with the back of his hand and laughs again. "Hardly."

"This is Primark, mate," Lily retorts, tugging on her t-shirt.

"Queenliness is a state of mind," says Sirius, "not a state of wardrobe."

"You had me marked down as a prostitute not ten seconds ago."

"Oh, that. I was only joking," he sighs, and grips her arm at the elbow, his long fingers cool against her skin. "But still, you're far too attractive to stand here talking to this clown. Come with me and I'll find you someone better."

*

James's friends are useless.

And drunk. Useless and drunk—or sort of drunk, in Saffy's case. Remus is certainly already pissed, but Remus is on meds so often that he drinks but once in a blue moon. One cocktail is usually enough to set him off, and he's been hard at the gin since he turned up with Peter at six.

"I don't know anyone with those initials," Saffy declares, once she has read, examined and even sniffed the birthday card for clues. "Except for Lisa Edelstein."

"Who's Lisa Edelstein?"

"Cuddy from House," says Remus, lowering the negroni from which he has been drinking deeply.

James pulls a face. "What the fuck is a Cuddy?"

"Oh, actually, it could mean le?" Remus suggests.

"Yes!" Saffy points at him like he might be onto something. "Like the French word for the?"

"Exactly, like—"

"It doesn't mean that!" James interrupts, unwilling to allow such profanity in his home. "That doesn't make sense, why would somebody sign their name as the?"

"Now you're asking me to explain how French people think?" says Saffy derisively, adjusting her bra strap beneath that burnt orange waistcoat she loves, the one that makes her look like she's directing a pornographic movie in the 70s when she pairs it with her tortoiseshell-framed aviators. It clashes wildly with her electric blue buzz-cut. "Am nooooo drunk enough for that."

"They could be one of those one word moniker pop stars, I suppose," Remus pipes up, smiling slyly. "You know, like Madonna?"

They think James doesn't realise that they're taking the piss out of him, but neither of them are sober enough to attempt their gambit with any kind of subtlety or grace.

"You know that's actually her real Christian name?" says Saffy.

Remus turns towards her with interest. "What, Madonna?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Saffy repeats. "I thought it couldn't possibly be her real name because, I mean, Madonna, yeah? But then I looked it up and apparently that's the name her mummy gave her, just goes to show—"

"I'm sorry," James interrupts, "but is Madonna relevant to this conversation?"

"Yes, always," says Saffy.

"She's an international pop megastar," Remus seconds.

James stares at his friend incredulously. "Drinking really chips away at your wit, y'know?"

"Does it?" Remus grins lazily and jiggles his cocktail in the air. "Oh, well, I'm negronly joking."

Saffy does a spit-take without the spit and clings helplessly to Remus's shoulder as she laughs, knees buckling, bangles tinkling, but James fights his own urge to start snickering.

"It's not that funny," he lies, and Remus eyes him with an alarmingly teacher-like shrewdness, despite the tellingly intoxicated flush that has crept into his thin, freckled face.

James's love of puns is tragically well known.

"You didn't get it." Remus points at his drink. His speech is starting to slur. "This is a negroni, what I said was—"

"Yeah, I got that part, I just—"

"Jesus fuck, look at her!" Saffy suddenly hisses, staggering sideways into Remus and sending him into the wall in a flurry of giggles—Remus giggling?—her voice hushed and urgent. "Who the hell is that?!"

James does look, following the direction of Saffy's gaze. Sirius has just entered the living room, casually clutching the elbow of a……

……goddess.

An actual. Like. Goddess.

A goddess. In James's house. In his living room. In the place where he eats his chocolate boulder cereal and rewatches Scrubs (even season 9, which is hilarious, and very unfairly disparaged by Joe Public) on Saturday mornings.

She's a goddess. A real one, and cleverly disguised as a mortal, sure, with her slouchy white t-shirt and her big hoop earrings and her light blue jeans that are torn at the knees, wearing her shoulder-length red hair half up, half down and slightly messy, but that doesn't hide what she is.

"Oh my god," he murmurs. His heart is pounding all of a sudden, which is so...utterly bloody stupid, but Saffy's right, bloody look at her, Jesus fuck.

"Surely she can't be with Sirius?" Saffy murmurs back.

"No, she—" He watches Sirius lean down to mutter something in the redhead's ear. A ghost of a laugh flits across her beautiful face. "She's not his—he isn't—"

"D'you think—"

"No, I—"

"Good," says Saffy firmly. She lets go of Remus and rises, lengthening her spine. It is a battle stance of some sort, presumably. "Because I saw her first."

"No!" James cries, wounded, and the redhead shoots him a curious look with a pair of eyes that are startlingly emerald green, even from all the bloody way over here. He spins to face Saffy and lowers his voice, face burning. "It's my house!"

"What are you arguing here, ownership rights?"

"No but it—it's my birthday!" James retorts, jabbing at his own chest. "And, actually, and—"

"It's in the bloody post!"

"—you didn't get me a present!" he finishes in triumph, not that he knows what he's arguing for, because the likelihood is that his tongue will glue itself to the roof of his mouth if he even dares to look in her direction one more time. "Plus I set you up with Vanya Petrich, with whom, as I recall, you enjoyed four years—"

"Stop throwing that in my face!"

"—four blissful years—"

"Is it my fault that you've never fancied any girl I've set you up with?!"

"—promised me an Easter ham for setting you up with her and I never got it—"

"So now you'll trade a woman for a ham?" Saffy accuses, though her face is too lit up, her brown eyes too crinkled at the corners—she's having fun with this and she isn't going to fool him and she knows it. "That's so low, even—"

"Don't start with that," James scathingly cuts in. "You offered me Sean Connery's autograph for Bonnie Grogan's number—"

"Which you never gave me!"

"Because you forged the bloody signature!"

"And now she's bloody married!"

"Yeah, well, Isabella wouldn't give me a counterfeit present, would she?" he retorts, and Saffy lets her shoulders drop, smirking. "This is pointless, Saf, we can't—"

"She's just left with Sirius," Remus informs them, and burps.

[bookofmirth]

ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol

i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol

i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?

Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.

To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.

This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.

I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.

I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.

Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.

Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.

What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.

This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.

However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.

People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.

You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.

Here are the facts as of right now:

ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.

If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.

His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.

Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.

So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.

There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.

Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.

Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.

I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.

I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).

There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.

idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.

[mythicamagic]

Sesskag Week: Day One ‘Green’

Title: Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Summary: Kagome witnesses Inuyasha and Kikyo in another loving embrace and runs away, stumbling straight into Sesshoumaru that moonlit night. (My attempt at an old fandom trope.)

Rated T

Words: 4,000

You can read this on Ao3, Dokuga and Fanfiction.net 

AN: I just wanted to try my hand at an old sesskag fandom trope that I reckon was in the height of popularity from the early 2000s- 2010s. Other tropes from that time included Abusive Inuyasha, no one knowing what the canon end or final battle was like, and mokomoko being sentient. Ah...old memories. If this fic feels like it's from a bygone era, well...that was the intention lol. For Sesskag Week Day One - Green.

-----

Standing frozen stiff, Kagome stared ahead. A gasp remained locked behind her teeth. Slim fingers dug into the bark of a tree she'd hidden behind, gazing around the trunk towards a couple cradling each other tightly.

This was the second time. The first had hit harder inside her chest, the slam of heartbreak cracking the fragile shell of first love that had closed around her heart.

But she'd made a promise to Inuyasha; to remain by his side. She needed to get over this haze of green misting her eyes, the jealousy roaring through her veins. Inuyasha and Kikyo used to be lovers, it was perfectly natural and humane to want to hold his lost love.

That didn't make it any easier to see.

In fact, the emotion welling up in her throat threatened to burst louder than before. Fearing the strength of her own reaction, Kagome stepped back. She took another, then another, whirling around to flee into pitch-black darkness.

I wanted to be more mature about this, she thought. The tears stinging her eyes bespoke of her anger, worry, and heartache- like an old wound had been freshly ripped open anew.

Kagome couldn't be understanding or mature, not like poised Lady Kikyo likely could. Kagome was 15, emotive and sparking. She was fire, passion, a roaring flame of anger that could climb so high nothing would stifle it.

Stumbling over tree roots in the dark, quiet woods, Kagome ran blind. When she felt that she'd covered enough ground, far away from the lover's embrace, she stopped abruptly in the middle of a meadow. Sweat beading her temple and throat burning, she threw back her head.

And yelled.

She threw all turbulent emotions into it, crying so loud her windpipe protested. The noise became horse and broken before she stopped.

Standing within that moonlit clearing, Kagome caught her breath, tears threatening to spill over.

"Must you make such noise in the dead of night?" a steady voice drawled.

Her chest constricted, breath halting. Shadows peeled off from the trees, a figure revealing itself under the moonlight.

Kagome blinked hard, trying to fight tears as Sesshoumaru stepped closer. She moved back to keep distance, vaguely wary. Shit, she'd forgotten her weapons.

He wasn't an enemy per se anymore but they weren't exactly allies either. Since he'd adopted that human girl, they seemed to be in more of a stalemate. Nonetheless, the caprice of the Killing Perfection's moods were unpredictable.

"M-my bad, I didn't think anyone was around."

"You cried like a wounded animal," his lips curved, as though enjoying the thought. "Take heed, girl; such wailing will disturb demons with keen hearing- and not all are as forgiving as I tonight."

"Right, duly noted," she mumbled, rubbing her arm. Damn it. She'd just wanted a place to cry. Sesshoumaru was the last person she wanted to feel vulnerable around.

Golden eyes slid up to observe something beyond the trees. Turning to follow his line of sight, her chest constricted- glimpsing a trailing soul collector in the sky.

"Inuyasha's dead priestess uses those creatures, does she not?"

"Y-yeah, they're Kikyo's soul collectors."

His attention returned to her face, resting heavily there. It disquieted her until at length, he finally made a noise. "...Hn."

The Daiyouki smoothly pivoted, walking out of her available vision to meld within thick darkness again, but she sensed him linger beneath the trees, perhaps taking a seat.

"Keep the snivelling to a minimum."

Kagome startled, blue eyes widening. The first tear fell- closely followed by the second. Soon a stream of them flooded down her face, and she crumpled to her knees, palm clasped tight over her mouth as she tried not to sob.

She wasn't sure how or why. How she could suddenly fall apart in front of him when Kagome prided herself on not crying in front of anyone if it were possible. The why also remained a mystery- why did he invite her to stay? Sesshoumaru was not a charitable sort. Perhaps his sadistic streak enjoyed the salt of endless tears.

Kagome stayed there, quivering in the moonlit clearing for a good while, grass cushioning her bare legs, arms wrapped around herself protectively. When at last the sobs abated, she shakily stood.

Without a word to the demon who had watched her like a voyer of her pain, Kagome headed towards the village after piecing herself back together.

She couldn't see Sesshoumaru's expression, nor the way in which citrine eyes followed her figure until she stepped out of sight.

---

It wasn't like Kagome cried after every damn encounter with Kikyo, though they did leave her worn and exhausted. She felt mighty proud of not bursting into sobs the second Inuyasha's eyes lingered on her a little too long. But Kagome could bear that. She could bear many things.

It was fine, totally fine. She was fine!

Until she wasn't.

It had been two months since that emotional night and thankfully Sesshoumaru hadn't acknowledged her fine display of despair and teenage hormones. In fact, he seemed a little quieter during their encounters while hunting for Naraku, pinpointing her amidst her friends and eyeing her carefully sometimes.

So it was with mild surprise that Kagome stumbled into him again on one such occasion where she needed a good cry. And then again a few weeks after- followed by another encounter near a waterfall a month later. Every time, Sesshoumaru said nothing. He merely waited a respectable distance away, not particularly looking at, nor acknowledging her sorrow as she let out pent up frustrations.

What should be an immensely private thing had changed. Kagome wasn't sure what to feel about it, especially when he began erecting barriers around the area.

Almost like he was ensuring her privacy while continuing to invade it himself.

"W-why…?" she choked out one evening, sitting upon a log with only the Daiyoukai for company. Inuyasha and the others were none the wiser, sitting back at camp further within the forest. "Why are you here, hanging around? Is it fun for you to watch this?" her anger simmered, misdirected.

Sesshoumaru's lazy gaze slid over to her, reclining at the base of a tree. He huffed, drawing a knee up to gracefully drape an arm over it. "Your wailing is an assault on my hearing, I derive no pleasure from this."

"Then what's the deal? I find it hard to believe you're doing it for me."

"Hn, you are correct, I am not," he freely admitted. "This act of concealment is out of acknowledgement. Warriors must not show weakness in battle, nor to anyone but a select few. I am merely ensuring your wish to hide your pain is successful since you are so terrible at doing it yourself," inhuman eyes pinned her in place. Her breath stalled at their intensity. "Your desire to conceal tears and weakness is unexpected for one as emotional as you."

Kagome picked at her fingers. "It's not out of a sense of duty or warrior pride as you seem to think. I just don't like burdening people with my problems. Only...all this energy piles up and explodes out as anger at Inuyasha anyway, I'm not suppressing or hiding anything at the end of the day," she gave a self-deprecating smile. Letting out a long whoosh of air from her lungs, Kagome turned to him.

"For what it's worth, thanks. For uh- concealing me. I still think it's odd that you're going to all this trouble but I'm grateful."

He arched a brow, unruffled and outwardly placid.

Wiping the remaining tears away, she gave a weak smirk. "Urgh, I blubber so loudly over a guy I really shouldn't be in love with. Kinda stupid."

"Indeed," he drawled without sympathy, glancing away.

"And you're still a jerk," she hummed, smiling slightly. But a weird, considerate one. Was it possible to be both considerate and a jerk?

Sesshoumaru did not look at her, tilting his head back to gaze at the branches overhead.

"You 'blubber' so loud a 'barrier' is necessary in order to keep your privacy. Inuyasha would catch your scent otherwise."

"Can Naraku see us like this?"

"The barrier does not mask us from sight, it merely hides scent. It is effective on Inuyasha and other demons but the spider could easily survey us from a distance."

Kagome sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Gotcha," she murmured, falling into a strangely companionable silence with him, before asking; "have you ever been in love?"

His reply was immediate and crisp; "no. Such things are for fanciful beings."

Biting her lip to keep from mentioning his 'Great and Powerful Father' had fallen victim to such fanciful things too, she hummed.

Sesshoumaru frowned in her direction. "Speak."

"I just think- when you do experience love, it's gonna knock you off your feet."

He sneered, "you think yourself an expert on the subject?"

"Gods no! Do I look like one?" Kagome grinned, gesturing to her tear-stained cheeks.

Sesshoumaru searched her face, visibly relaxing slightly. He tilted his head, surveying his sharp nails. "For what it is worth, if I had an opinion on the matter- which I do not," he assured. "I should think your fanciful 'love' emotion is not supposed to cause such pain. I question your dedication to it."

"My feelings for Inuyasha aren't something I can turn off. Believe me, I would if I could," shifting she gazed up at the stars, smiling gently. "Wow, Ursa Major looks so clear and close tonight."

Youki brushed her senses, her only warning. Soft grass crunched beneath boots as Sesshoumaru joined her on the log, sitting beside her. Mokomoko brushed the exposed skin of her knee. His eyes narrowed. "You are referring to the stars?"

Kagome blinked with surprise at his sudden piqued interest, raising a hand to point them out. "Yeah, a constellation. Ursa Major starts there and ends there," her finger drifted.

Sesshoumaru's blank features became lofty, huffing. "That is the incorrect name for it. Those stars are called Satoko."

"Who told you that?"

"My instructor when I was young. And this collection," he reached out, plucking her hand out of the air and redirecting her point to another constellation, "is Mineko, a volcano spirit."

Her skin burned at the contact, feeling his calloused palm, rough from years of training- clasping the back of her hand. Kagome blinked, feeling strange. Her stomach jumped, and she felt grateful and confused when he released her.

"I-I see! Tell me more about them, are they linked to your demonic heritage?" Kagome asked, flexing burning fingers in her lap.

Even hours afterwards, the sensation of warmth and strong youki flitting over her flesh continued to itch at her skin.

---

"I don't want to talk to you! JUST BACK OFF!"

Inuyasha's expression flickered, open hurt briefly appearing before white ears pinned flat to his skull. "FINE! Go running home again, see if I care!"

Kagome stormed away, hands balled into fists. She didn't call for Kirara to fly her to the well, she couldn't be bothered to haul herself back to the future and continue their long and tired trend of long-distance pining followed by disgruntled reconciliation.

She was tired.

Miroku, Sango and Shippo were tired too, judging from the multiple sighs sounding out behind her.

Before she could step out of earshot, she heard the monk murmuring to Inuyasha, encouraging him to follow her and make up. Likely to save everyone the hassle of another drawn-out spat.

Oh no.

Hadn't anyone listened to what she'd said? She didn't want to be chased in some coy 'let's have a fake argument' way. Real hurt and bone-weary annoyance soured her mood.

Hurrying away, Kagome began to run alongside a stream, jogging through a sparse forest and hoping to put distance between them. So lost in her thoughts of avoiding the Hanyou was she that Kagome burst through a youki barrier without noticing, glancing over her shoulder with paranoia.

By the time she detected wafts of steam brushing her skin, it was too late to stop. She gaped upon facing forward, almost crashing headfirst into a well-sculpted chest.

Long strands of silver against bare skin caught Kagome's dazed attention, gaze travelling up to find golden eyes staring down at her. Sesshoumaru paused half-naked before a hot-spring he'd likely intended on bathing in, tipping his head to one side in a silent demand for explanation.

"Kagome!" a distant voice resounded through the trees.

Panic erupted inside Kagome's heart and she turned to the demon. Her hands latched onto his remaining arm, blue eyes stinging.

"Please..."

She couldn't articulate what she wanted, even though it was so simple. Something thick clogged her throat.

The Daiyoukai lifted his attention to the trees. He then moved swiftly.

Sesshoumaru tossed his red and white hankimono over her, enclosing it tight around her body. It shielded Kagome from sight as her vision became swallowed by white silks.

Kagome jolted as a hard force shoved her down into dewy grass that perspired from heady steam saturating the air. Before she could react to the plains of a lean body pressing against hers, his weight pinning her to the ground, she heard branches shaking. Twigs snapping.

Her loafers were ripped off her feet, tossed somewhere further away. Likely out of sight. She heard them clatter over the sound of her drumming heartbeat, unable to see what was going on.

"What the- Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha snarled, sounding slightly out of breath. "The fuck are you doing, hanging around here?"

A clawed hand minded the folds of the hankimono apart just enough to expose the side of Kagome's cheek- firm lips pressing against it. She stiffened. Sesshoumaru kissed her skin heatedly, his sigh billowing hot breath over her sensitive skin.

"Clearly I am enjoying myself with a woman. Do not interrupt, whelp."

Kagome could barely breathe, face turning steadily red. She lay frozen, reeling.

"Keh, whatever. Just tell me if you've seen Kagome pass through here."

He must not be able to smell me...

"Can you not keep tabs on a simple miko, brother?" Sesshoumaru purred, his hand gliding over her covered thigh, stroking back and forth. "Did she flee from you? I cannot say I blame her."

A snarl ripped through the hot springs. "Piss off! I'll find her myself!"

Furious sounds of bushes being slashed aside rang out, Inuyasha's swears becoming fainter as he drew further and further away.

Left with a demon straddling her and enclosed in luxurious silks, Kagome exhaled. She blinked, briefly dazed as the cover was lifted from her face, eyes adjusting. Dappled sunlight stretched across Sesshoumaru's face as he lingered close with an unreadable expression.

Kagome swallowed. "Thanks," she managed to say.

She's never been this close to a guy before, well not like this, anyway. Inuyasha carried her on his back or occasionally in his arms if the situation got dire, and they'd hugged. But this felt different.

Sesshoumaru braced himself over her using his one available arm, corded muscles leading down to a tapered waist. He was handsome in an aristocratic, cold sort of way – all hard angles and sharp edges. Her polar opposite. The heat of his bare skin bled through her school uniform, their hips melded together, and Kagome was struck by something painfully obvious that had eluded her until now.

There were...other options besides just Inuyasha.

Clearly, the Hanyou knew this little nugget too, since he flitted between herself and Kikyo.

But really, Kagome hadn't given it much thought. Hojo liked her but was easily dismissed. Kouga liked her but she'd always been too busy to really give him a chance.

And Sesshoumaru?

Her attention was helplessly fixed on him while the demon craned his neck down, scenting her hair.

Sesshoumaru had never been on the table before. Did he even look at her like that?

Golden eyes slanted to meet her, half-lidded. Her stomach did a flip, thighs twitching. Soft pink lips parted, and his attention flew to her mouth, lingering.

Before she could say anything, Inuyasha's voice sounded out somewhere close by again. "Damn it, Kagome! Just come out! Quit hiding!"

Kagome found herself sighing- stilling when she caught Sesshoumaru's dark rumble. His lips peeled back with displeasure, body leaning up and away from hers, climbing off.

Remaining sprawled on the ground for a moment, she calmed her racing heart. Picking herself up unsteadily, Kagome unwrapped the hankimono from around herself, awkwardly folding it as best she could and handing it back.

"I better go."

He inclined his head. "Until next time."

Next time.

Her gut wrenched. The next time she became upset with Inuyasha chasing after Kikyo. Oh wow. It really had become something so commonplace it felt inevitable.

That wasn't right or normal. That wasn't how she wanted to live, was it? Anticipating one crying session after another?

"Actually, let's meet up," she said, setting her shoulders back.

Surprise brightened his gaze. Sesshoumaru's lips twitched, "meet up, hm? You make it sound like an illicit affair."

Her expression darkened, "no. I'm not into that," she snipped, pushing her vindictive mood down. This was not an offer out of petty revenge. She just wanted to see him out of choice for once. "I brought a telescope. Let's use it tomorrow when it gets dark."

He agreed to it, watching her leave in that quiet, interested way he usually did. Kagome glanced back in time to see him partially turned away- hankimono clenched in his grip and lifted to his nose in a careful inhale.

---

Kagome actually felt quite happy about the meeting. Anticipation had raced through her veins during the entire day, though she didn't breathe a word about it to her friends.

After finishing up her food, she'd hung around camp late into the evening, before inching away with a weak excuse.

She didn't notice Inuyasha's keen eyes trailing after her, too preoccupied with hurrying around a nearby waterfall and retrieving her telescope that she'd hidden behind some rocks earlier.

Carrying the heavy thing up to the crest of a decently sized hill, she staggered upon finding the Daiyoukai already awaiting her at the top.

Kagome stopped and stared. She then felt a genuine smile curve her lips. How strange, that he could invoke such a reaction.

"Did I keep you waiting?"

Sesshoumaru lifted his chin haughtily, grunting. "I am not some lost puppy following you around, miko. I sensed your approach from my camp and generously decided not to stand you up."

Kagome grinned. What a big response. Almost like he was lying.

Giggling softly to herself, she arranged the telescope set, angling it up to face the distant cosmos. "Okay, you're gonna love this. I'm going to bore you with astrology and point out zodiac signs."

"These fancy foreign words do not sound boring," he uttered, leaning in close to view the stars with faint amazement, perhaps not anticipating the clarity of their view. Kagome felt his hip brush her side, her cheeks immediately blazing red. She tried to temper her reaction but failed miserably, looking at him briefly.

His placid features were much too close, familiar dark youki humming in the space between them. Comforting. Golden eyes met hers, ever watchful. Waiting.

"Sesshoumaru!"

They immediately flew apart as though they'd been doing something scandalous, Kagome's heart leaping into her throat.

Inuyasha stood a little ways away, teeth on display, hand resting on his sword. "Get the hell away from her!"

"Inuyasha- wait," she tried to cut in, but Sesshoumaru was quicker. Lifting his remaining hand, he fed youki into it, allowing deadly fingers to elongate into murderous talons. However, much to her surprise, he faced Kagome while flexing them.

"I will kill her if I please, Inuyasha," he rumbled. "She is a mere fanciful human."

Blue eyes widened, but Kagome clocked onto what he was doing immediately. It lingered there under his calm features that he tried to harden into contempt.

He was playing the villain. For her.

Likely out of some misguided desire to keep everything at the status quo, because he believed it would be easier on them both if they weren't seen as friends. Everything halted inside Kagome. She felt like she'd been coasting through her days without really questioning it.

"Bastard!" Inuyasha snarled, ripping his sword from its sheath.

With a strange sense of calm, Kagome raised her head. She then stepped in between them both, placing her fingers atop Sesshoumaru's sharp, transformed ones.

"That's enough," she said quietly, lowering his large hand.

"K-Kagome? What're you doing? Get back!"

"I said; that's enough, Inuyasha!" Kagome grit her teeth, tension gripping her fiercely- until it abruptly left all at once, rendering her exhausted.

"We need to talk," she said softly, gazing at him meaningfully.

Inuyasha blinked, lowering his sword as his ears pricked and lowered.

Turning to Sesshoumaru, she smiled weakly. "We're going to have to cut this meeting short, sorry."

"We can always reschedule."

Kagome gentled, a warmth pooling inside her that she hoped to revisit soon. However, the Daiyoukai hadn't made it three steps away before familiar laughter spread over the vast countryside beyond their hill.

Miasma leaked out of the sky, waning flowers on their stalks and killing the grass, rendering it dulled brown.

Naraku appeared in all his true, villainous glory- at exactly the wrong time nobody wanted to deal with him. However, absolutely no one could ignore this fight, as a completed Shikon jewel rested in the palm of his hand.

Kagome's stomach dropped. She automatically accepted her bow and arrows from Sango and Miroku when they arrived, looking grim-faced and out of breath. Inuyasha lifted his sword again with determination blazing in his eyes.

The Final Battle had begun.

---

They say 'time heals all wounds.'

Kagome would like to have a word with whoever 'they' were because this sentiment proved false. Time muted pain. It concealed it under layers of civilian life, responsibilities, family dinners and get togethers with friends, but her deep wound never really healed. The pervasive desire to return back to a life that had been stolen from her.

She couldn't say it had been perfect in the Feudal Era but she still missed it terribly. Missed her friends, travelling, exploring, strengthening her burgeoning powers.

She also missed someone she hadn't anticipated longing to speak to.

After killing Naraku and getting her hands on the jewel, Kagome had made her wish;

'I wish Kikyo would come back to life.'

It had resulted in trapping Kagome in the future, the Bone Eater's Well closing, barring entrance. She'd figured the look on Inuyasha's face had almost been worth it, his gob-smacked expression kind of hilarious.

Perhaps the wish had been an out of nowhere impulse. Who knew. All Kagome knew was that a part of her had died that day on the hill with the telescope- the candle of first love snuffing out. She still cared for Inuyasha of course, she wouldn't have wished Kikyo alive otherwise, but the act said something. They'd never be anything more than friends.

After trying her hand at dating a few boys in class, Kagome had broken up with them and remained single for the better part of a year. There wasn't anything wrong with them, per se, but it had felt disingenuous.

It wasn't them she wanted to speak to.

At the age of 18, the miko got her chance. Inexplicably, and without warning or provocation, the well reopened again one night.

Kagome stirred awake, lured downstairs by the promise of magic. It pulsed strongly like before, so she slid her legs over the rim of the well without fear that it would be a oneway trip.

Leaping down while still clad in her patchwork style pyjamas, dark hair whipped upwards as blue light swallowed her whole.

Immediately the smell of city smoke was replaced with distinct smells of petrichor. Fresh scents guided her feet to land gently on the bottom of the well, looking up at dark, cloudy skies.

Climbing out and feeling moisture lingering in the air dampening her hair, Kagome looked up, breath hitching.

The clearing looked exactly the same. Achingly nostalgic.

It sprawled empty and lonesome, awaiting her in complete silence. Kagome noticed the dirt disturbed around the well from how often she and Inuyasha had travelled through it.

Breath catching, hot tears stung her eyes.

Laughing weakly to herself, Kagome tried to rub them away in vain, more rolling down her cheeks. Unlike the usual times though, these were happy tears. Relief threatened to buckle her knees.

"I'm home," she shuddered.

"...Welcome back."

Snapping her head up, Kagome swallowed an embarrassing noise, warmth melting into her expression. She took a step, and then another, walking over to Sesshoumaru as he stood a little ways away, moonlight highlighting his hair.

"Y-you're here?"

Golden eyes flitted over her face, gentling a touch. He reached out and brushed pale knuckles against her jaw, catching tears upon it. "I sensed you. As usual, you blubber too loud, miko."

Choking on a sob, Kagome laughed, catching his hand and pressing her lips to the inside of his wrist.

Sesshoumaru stiffened, attention zeroing in on her. Kagome held his gaze as best she could with watery eyes, smiling.

"Date me," she stated plainly.

No second-guessing, no 'will they, won't they?' no more pining or questioning. Kagome refused to do it again.

He seemed somewhat taken aback by her forwardness for a moment, before a strange kind of intensity livened his expression. He wound his single arm around her waist, pulling her in close.

"What boldness, Kagome," he purred, lips ghosting the side of her ear. "But you can do better than that. Are you certain that is all you want from me?"

Kagome blushed hotly, shifting to catch his eye and smirk. "I just made it back here after three years. Let me catch my breath," she teased, hooking a hand under his yellow obi. "But...yeah, I might want more soon, you jerk."

Sesshoumaru rumbled with approval, swiftly ending the charade of teasing and swooping in. His lips claimed hers firmly, and it was not a kind, sweet kiss but she didn't mind, pressing herself against him. His tongue delved into her mouth, brushing against hers as a clawed hand snaked up into dark hair, gripping tight.

Smiling against his mouth, Kagome trying her best to keep up with his rough kiss as he bit and sucked her lips, inhaling her scent. He almost seemed elated, kissing her so quick and eagerly, like he'd been starving for it.

Out of curiosity, Kagome slid her palm over his chest, finding his heart racing.

Sesshoumaru broke away to plant heated kisses against her neck. He panted, the hand in her hair shaking with want of her.

Kagome stared, slowly looping her arms around his shoulders. "You...want me?" she said quietly like an obvious revelation. It felt so strange and surreal.

He huffed with amusement against her lips. "Hn, it appears you have made me fanciful, miko."

Brightening and smiling widely, Kagome pushed up on tip-toe. Guiding his mouth down with palms cradling his striped cheeks, she kissed him again, pouring every powerful emotion left unsaid into it.

End

[denkis-sluttyboy]

Caregiver Headcanons!

Okay so I’m an age dreamer and I was like obessesing over the though of some of the mha character’s being your caregiver so HEY CAREGIVER HEADCANONS! (Yes they are dating you but it’s not ddlg) Also, let me know if I should do oneshots or more caregiver headcanons with other characters (which I might anyways).

Characters: Bakugou, Izuku, Denki

Mentions - Littlespace, Age regression, Caregiver being referred to as daddy/dadda/dad, and Bratty little.

Bakugou -

Bakugou would be the type of caregiver that will punish you no hesitation, curses in front of you mostly because he forgets your in littlespace, and has his merch as your toys. The merch runs from Dynamight Pj’s, to Dynamight Teddybears.

Of course when you first told Bakugou you age regressed he looked at you like it was some kind of sickness. You spent a good few hours explaining what it was and asking if he could be your caregiver which you then again had to explain what a caregiver is.

“So... I’m your daddy? That is, when you’re in this state.” He seemed to understand well enough. Or.. so you thought.

Here came the first time you were age regressed in front of him and he literally forgot everything you told him.

“Shit. What do I do again?!” He stared at you, sucking on your thumb, for a good few minutes before you actually said something to him

“Dadda! Uppies. Im hungryyyyy!” You reached up for him and he quickly wanted to tell you that he wasn’t going to carry you but realized you were literally in the state of a child in this moment. Plus, you were adorable in your outfit.

He ended up carrying you everywhere. He didn’t complain though, it was nice seeing you so happy. Thoughhh, there were moments.

“No!” you shouted at him when he kept telling you to go to bed. It was past 8:30. “Just get in the bed! Or.. you’re getting a punishment” this man knew damn well he didn’t know how to punish a child properly because he was often punished with hits to the back of his head when he was younger. “Noooo!” You threw a teddy bear at him which... caught on his ear piercing and snagged it out. That pushed him over the edge.

“No?! Haha. Okay.” He picked you up and put you in a corner with a thick white gate that was set up earlier that morning. “Hey! Get me out of here!” You kicked, stomped, and punched but there was no use. “This is your punishment. Until you decide you wanna go night nights, you’ll be in this corner.” Well, barely a full hour later you were against the corner’s wall sleep. “Tch, you dumb rascal. Causing so much fuss.” He picked you up again this time, placing you on his bed. You looked so peaceful. Gently lifting you hair, he places a small kiss on your forehead.

Izuku - 

Izuku is the type of caregiver that already did a bunch of research and knows what to do. Tries his best to compromise when your being bratty and always gives the best rewards.

When you told him you age regressed he lit up with happiness. “No way! I saw that somewhere and had to do tons of research on it! Is that why you love mr. might so much?” Mr. Might was a cute plush Izuku got you for your birthday. You often slept with it and took it everywhere, usually with the excuse “Ah, I didn’t mean to put him here!”.

Izuku spent many hours asking questions and how he should take good care of you. “I’m so excited. I bet you’re the cutest as a little. Just as cute as you are now! Oh my all might, I’d be your dad right? That sounds a little weird but I’ll adjust!”.

When you told him you could use just his name or refer to him as your caregiver he insisted you call him “dadda” or “daddy” or whatever you felt comfortable with.

When you first regressed in Izu, he though he’d be prepared but what he didn’t know was that you were a bratty little.

“Come on, please just eat this!” Trying to get you to eat any healthy snack was impossible. “I want that!” You didn’t specify but the fact you finger was leading towards the stash of small candies, it was clear what “that” was.

Eventually he compromised by letting you eat a candy first, then the healthy snack that was originally supposed to eaten alone, then again eating another small candy.

Constant small praises, rewards, and free time was earned when you did anything close to good. “Good job! Now you can draw for a little!”

Bedtime was a hassle. You wouldn’t sit down for even a second. “At least put your pj’s on!”, after running through the rooms he got you to put them on. “If I put on cartoons will you lay down?” You hopped into the bed and smiled, “Cartoons! Now!”. The rest of the night you two dozed off cuddled together watch Disney cartoons.

Denki -

Though he knew everything needed to be known about being a caregiver... was sadly mistaken. Loses literally anything or thinks he lost it when really you were just hiding it for the 5th time already. You both end up tired and drooling on each other at the end of the night because your busy trying to cause chaos while he’s busy just trying to keep you somewhat alive.

Well, when you told Denki you age regressed he seemed like it was an everyday thing. “Alright, I’m your caregiver then!”, you cocked your head when he said just that. “You.. have not questions?” He laughed. “You probably don’t remember but you age regressed in front of me before. I was confused them but I did a little research and I’m sure I nailed down what to do!” It was a relief..

Yeah no, he didn’t know what to do. “Whyyy are you being such a brat right now?!” You stuck your tongue out and blew a wet raspberry at him. “Gross yn! What do you want?! Milk? Candy? Teddy? Paci?” You nodded at the last option. “Okay! I can find it.”

No he couldn’t. You hid it. Under the bed. Which was dusty, gross, and weirdly smelled. The smell probably came from the sticky socks but whatever. “Crap, crap, where the hell is yn’s pacifier?!” You wiggle your toes acting oh so innocent as the poor boy looked up, down, around, and very much below everything.

Once he found it he tried to shove it in your mouth but when you pushed it away he realized you actually wanted it clean.

So he spent a good few minutes cleaning white gunk, dust, and spit off of your pacifier.

Thankfully bedtime rolled around. Denki was tuckered out and so were you. You both ended up cuddling on the couch, sleep, and drooling.

[captnjacksparrow]

Okay so I know I’m far off my rocker with what I’m about to say but I have to say it otherwise I’ll forget or keep thinking about it like crazy.

It’s probably just me but I can’t help but feel like SNS aren’t straight. I can’t help but feel like Naruto could possibly be bi with women preference or don’t realize it. I can’t help but feel like Sasuke might be gay or bi. I don’t want to state it as a fact because we don’t know their sexualities canon wise plus I want to respect the author’s creation however I can’t see those two as straight, especially Sasuke. I understand that Sasuke puts his goals before romance and that may be the case for this. I know he wants to defeat his brother and restore his clan, thats his top priority in life. People say he doesn’t know how to express his emotions, yet I see it fine with Naruto. He seems to trust Naruto more than anything and wants to be with Naruto. He turns down girls, mainly Sakura when it comes to affection or flirtatiousness. Now it could be just that those girls see him as a trophy and Sakura doesn’t understand him or respect him, however even after Boruto when he “marries” Sakura, it seems he’s depressed and regrets the relationship. He visits Naruto’s family more than his own and I find it depressing and interesting because it shows he chooses Naruto over his own “wife”. Even with Karin, he cares about her as a comrade or friend yet I don’t feel romantic attraction on his side. Yet I feel a bit of that with him and Naruto. There was a rumor that the author or creator of Naruto that between Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura isn’t a love triangle but rather a circle like a fish biting its own tail. So Naruto —> Sakura —> Sasuke and Sasuke —> Naruto. Anyways, i know this show isn’t about their sexuality and I shouldn’t focus on that but I couldn’t help but notice something or rather feel it. Also, your post on SNS Sasukes pov, I remember you mentioning Sasuke being comfortable enough to show his vulnerability with Naruto and that had me thinking... is this Sasuke accepting his love for Naruto? Is this Sasuke allowing Naruto to open him and save him. It seems Naruto was the first and only person that made his way to his heart, even expanding it just a little.

That’s just me but I would love to hear what you have to say and correct me if I’m wrong. What do you think?

Nice ask @larrycherry04 😍😍

There was a rumor that the author or creator of Naruto that between Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura isn’t a love triangle but rather a circle like a fish biting its own tail. So Naruto —> Sakura —> Sasuke and Sasuke —> Naruto.

Again larry, there is no official proof for this interview. And if it is so, I don’t really believe any of his interviews, tbh. 

These are the two different official interviews from Shounen Jump at different point of time with Kishimoto and two contradicting answers. 

So, when it comes to drawing Manga, Kishi was very truthful. But when it comes to interviews, he started to contradict his own answers. Which makes him a liar, in my opinion and I don’t blame him.

So, In short, Read the manga or Watch the Anime and see how you feel about it and come to a conclusion rather that believing his interviews.

But to answer whether it’s a love circle??? Nope. 

Sakura, like I said before, she is a pairing fodder for Sasuke, most of the time and for Naruto, a little bit. 

If it is a love circle, like, if Naruto truly loved Sakura, he never should’ve let Sasuke off the hook, for all the tantrums/outbursts he has shown towards Sakura not once or twice but multiple times.

Imagine you are Naruto, you love Sakura so much and values her a lot above everyone.

What would you do in the following scene?

I seriously can’t stop laughing here. Here, a boy, your supposed rival, is mildly insulting your most valued person’s tears. What will you do?

You will speak on her behalf, Of course. Just like Naruto did.

But the moment your rival says something to you, you forget everything about Sakura and starts to think about your rival. Wellllll ... So weird!!!!! Which begs the question ‘Do you really love her in the first place???’.

In this scene, the moment he heard those words from Sasuke, Sakura was out of the picture. Important point to note, Naruto still had a crush on Sakura until this point. 

Moment 1

Sakura: I am going to stab Sasuke-Kun

Sasuke : Am gonna kill you too

**Naruto heroically saves her**

Naruto: Sasuke, Sakura was a member of Team 7.

Sasuke: I don’t give a fuck

Naruto: Anyways, I heard the truth about Itachi and what you’ve been doing so far, is understandable, (including trying to kill Sakura)

Sakura: **surprised pikachu face**

Moment 2

Sakura: I love you, Sasuke-Kun

Sasuke: Annoying!! I am gonna put her in a murdering Genjutsu

Naruto: Sasuke, you shouldn’t have put her in such a strong Genjutsu

Sasuke: If I didn’t , she will come in our way

Naruto: Ummm, that’s true. Let’s go fight!!!

This is the pattern of Team 7 dynamics even until the very end. And I don’t see a love circle at all. 

To put it bluntly,

These words from Naruto is an admonition to Sakura, that is, ‘Whatever happens between us, do not meddle!!’

Sakura is just a third wheel to elevate the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto likes her but not more than Sasuke. Naruto will die for Sasuke but not for Sakura. Sasuke will put his life on the line for Naruto but not for Sakura. 

He turns down girls, mainly Sakura when it comes to affection or flirtatiousness. Now it could be just that those girls see him as a trophy and Sakura doesn’t understand him or respect him, however even after Boruto when he “marries” Sakura, it seems he’s depressed and regrets the relationship. He visits Naruto’s family more than his own and I find it depressing and interesting because it shows he chooses Naruto over his own “wife”. Even with Karin, he cares about her as a comrade or friend yet I don’t feel romantic attraction on his side.

Sasuke closed all his walls in his heart to let anyone in, after the massacre. And even before that incident, it was never shown that he had any friends or rather he was frustrated with those boys revering him because of the ‘Uchiha’ name he bears. Uchiha is the powerful clan of Konoha and so everyone has high level of expectations. So, there is that. 

Sasuke was thoroughly frustrated at this comment because nobody is seeing him as a boy named ‘Sasuke’ in his Academy. Even his homeroom teacher saw him as 'Itachi's little brother'. He was clearly facing an identity problem during this time, even in his home. Because Fugaku, Sasuke’s father completely ignored Sasuke and was showing his full attention towards his brother Itachi. When it comes to girls, I don’t have to say anything. They treated him like a trophy. Meaning, Everybody was expecting something from him but nobody was trying to befriend him unconditionally or approach him for who he was. 

This was explained nicely by Itachi in Itachi Shinden novel.

I wish this scene were in the Anime series. Such a warm one.

He was turning down all those girls, because like you said, they just see him as a cool boy who can do anything. And Sakura was one among them. 

If Sasuke looked like Rock Lee, would Sakura have flirted with him??? Absolutely not. 

And to play romance, there should be certain effort from Sasuke’s side, like going for dates or whatever shit, which he was never ready for. Most of all, there should be a reason when you start a relationship. Sakura never tried to reach him in a deeper level and tried to understand his sufferings and hence there were no reason. This is the case even after their marriage. Does she know about Uchiha Clan massacre's reason? Or Itachi? If she had known, she should've educated her daughter and stopped wearing that fucking clan crest on their back. And most of all, what could Sasuke talk with her if she doesn't know a single thing about him?? Their relationship was built on Editorial pressure, regrets and shallowness. Of course, If I were Sasuke, I would avoid my family by staying in my office more.

With Karin, their relationship was purely business 'I use you, you use me' kind. He was very clear about that when he formed 'Team Hebi'.

He helped Suigetsu to get Zabuza's sword and in turn Sasuke wants him to help with his goal. Same with Karin & Jugo. But it seems Sasuke respected her a lot in terms of her strength. Karin was similar to Sakura when it comes to flirting but when it comes to work she means business and can offer Sasuke a lot in terms of Chakra replenishment or sensing enemies plan while battling. That's why he treated her better than Sakura but that's all there is to it. It never went anywhere because Karin knows nothing about him. And Sasuke was not interested in forming a bond with any of Team Taka members either.

In other words, to evolve from a friendship to romance, it takes a massive effort from both sides in terms of understanding. Like I said before, Sasuke built a strong wall around his heart and he never let anyone in it as he saw it as a weakness. Sakura barely made a scratch on that wall. Just for becoming a friend takes a big effort to break that wall. How much effort do you think it takes for romance?? Instead of becoming his friend first, Sakura jumped straight into romance, which makes Sasuke uncomfortable most of the times. Hence the depressed reaction you see in Boruto.

Even with Karin, he cares about her as a comrade or friend yet I don’t feel romantic attraction on his side. Yet I feel a bit of that with him and Naruto.

Hmmm, I don't see Sasuke having a romantic attraction with Naruto. Romantic attraction leans towards sexual desire. But, Sasuke has more of a childlike attraction which leans towards purity and innocence, like more of a desire to be near Naruto, will never be bored even if it was for eternity and would like to look after his safety without expecting anything back.

I've seen this quite a few times.

Sasuke is not competing here, otherwise he would have walked ahead Naruto. He just wants to walk along side him.

This is that dream sequence after their fight. Sasuke, just like before, approaches Naruto by himself and listens to him intently. I am pretty sure he could do this for a whole day and still would not leave him.

LOL. Sasuke, at this moment, doesn’t gives two shit about the world. Meaning he is not missing anyone from there. The person he really wants to be with is right next to him. He even convinces Naruto that Kakashi and Sakura will do something and he doesn’t have to worry. However the moment Naruto leaves, he worries and looks around for him. 

This is what I called, an innocent attraction and the desire to be around the person you feel warm and comfortable. 

But every possibility of changing this into romance is already there. Because Naruto broke his wall long back and has a high place in his heart. A strong friendship with an innocent attraction is all there. If someday Kishi comes out and said 'Sasuke loved Naruto', I won't be surprised at all.

Sasuke being comfortable enough to show his vulnerability with Naruto and that had me thinking... is this Sasuke accepting his love for Naruto? Is this Sasuke allowing Naruto to open him and save him. It seems Naruto was the first and only person that made his way to his heart, even expanding it just a little.

I think Sasuke started to like Naruto unknowingly ever since he started to watch him secretly. Because it always makes him feel warm and fuzzy. 

But, the scars left by Itachi made Sasuke feel that having people around will always makes him weak. Meaning, The more people you love and when you lose them, you will feel weak. Hence, he was very hesitant to reach Naruto. Slowly but surely, Naruto was already making his way into Sasuke’s heart. And once they were put in the same team, he just loved Naruto unconditionally. That’s why he almost gave his life for him.

But Once Sasuke decided to leave the village, he severed all the ties with Konoha, including Kakashi and Sakura. The level of bond Sasuke had with them can be cut off by saying ‘Thank you’. But with Naruto, it takes more than that. Because for Sasuke, Naruto’s existence itself is making him weak by bringing back all the feelings he once had for him. Like Orochimaru said, Naruto has certain power to influence Sasuke’s heart. So Sasuke decided to kill him but in the end he simply couldn’t. 

Everytime Sasuke strays off the path, Naruto will always appear and remind him that he is his friend

Every time Naruto appears and talks to him, Sasuke’s heart was changing but he simply doesn’t want that and he hates that feeling. Which was why he wants to destroy Naruto and whatever he represents. What Naruto represents is a powerful bond between Sasuke and Naruto.

In the final fight, he simply couldn’t cut that bond even though he had a chance to kill. These bipolar battles are what he was fighting all along internally. And finally accepts that he lost and was happy for it. Those words, ‘I lost’ meant he lost the fight physically and mentally he had with Naruto and was ready to totally embrace the feelings he already had.  

It’s not Naruto who was expanding Sasuke’s heart a little, Sasuke already gave a wide berth for Naruto and one day decided to close it. In the end, he couldn’t. 

I can’t help but feel like Naruto could possibly be bi with women preference or don’t realize it. I can’t help but feel like Sasuke might be gay or bi. I don’t want to state it as a fact because we don’t know their sexualities canon wise plus I want to respect the author’s creation however I can’t see those two as straight, especially Sasuke.

As for their sexualities, I seriously could not conclude anything. But from the way Naruto behaves, he certainly looks like a closeted bisexual just like Kishimoto. And Kishi was not hold his guns in this aspect at all, he went all out in the Manga chapter 347. 

I mean it was evident from the way he casted Multiple Reverse Harem no jutsu before Kaguya without any reaction but when Konohamaru did the same Jutsu with Sai and Sasuke, he looked visibly disgusted.

Why to react extremely when Konohamaru is doing the same as you? Probably he doesnt like Sasuke in this jutsu I guess. LOL.

When asked about that ‘accidental’ kiss again, he reacts visibly disgusted but at the same time with a Nosebleed. This screams ‘Closet bisexual’ to me.

As for Sasuke, I simply see him as close to Asexual and possibly demisexual for Naruto.

Why Asexual?

Because Kishi purposefully made Sasuke to be in certain awkward scenes and on top of it, he painted an over sexualized aura all over him, in part II of the manga. It was evident from his bare chested costumes and the way characters like Karin behaves around him. In the same chapter 347, Kishi went all out for Sasuke too.

I don’t even know why Kishi made this scene. But it certainly shows Sasuke wasn’t bothered by a naked man at all unlike Naruto who acted disgusted.

I simply cannot see Sasuke will be romantically attracted to someone if they cannot form a strong bond with him. And to form that kind of bond is not an easy task. But even for a demisexual, there will be a preference. and his preference were not any of those girls especially Sakura. So, I can safely say, if he ever wants to be romantic, all the possibilities points towards Naruto. Because of certain obsession he has towards Naruto throughout the War arc.  

Believe me, Obsession comes from two ways. You will be obsessed on someone whom you hate to your bone because of what they did to you. Most possibly, a hard betrayal. Or, You will be obsessed on someone who you love above yourself. 

Itachi falls under the first category (that’s why when Sasuke was told Itachi was good all along, he couldn’t accept the fact that he hated him for wrong reasons and he snapped and went onto a killing spree because of that obsession. Even though he was sane after losing his parents) and Naruto falls in the later.

Like he was basically saying ‘Naruto is my person. Only I can kill him, he is not yours’ to Obito when he was trying to kill Naruto. And where did these obsession comes from provided Naruto never betrayed him in any which ways? Because of all the past he had with him and he was already in love but was trying to deny it.

Anyways at the end of the day, I don’t mind their sexualities at all. What matters is how they prioritizes each other at any given situations without an ounce of regrets. Because, like I always say, their bond transcends way beyond Marriage, Children and Sex. 

Hope my answer helps :-)

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 5:  Camaraderie

AN:  More Cat and Mouse.  I swear its gonna start to crescendo, guys, we’re almost there XD  There’s just so much to establish!

Characters:  Fem!Vampire!Reader, Levi, Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Eld

Pairing:  (Eventual)  Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings:  Language, Loneliness, Depressed Thoughts

Word Count:  8146

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

*Reader’s POV*

While it wasn’t the most shocking thing that had ever happened to you, being instated as a member, but not technically a member, of the Special Operations Squad was definitely up there on your list of most surprising things that had happened to you.  The weird in-between position they gave you to try and mediate how unprecedented it was to have a rookie join Levi Squad after just one expedition may have been a glorified lackey, but it was still a position with Captain Levi’s Squad.

Of course, right now, that consisted of doing the menial chores, message delivery, and other small tasks like that, but you were still a part of the team.  They’d only given you this aid position they’d made on the spot because you were so new, and it did a decent job of putting you at the bottom of the food chain until you were more seasoned.  However, you were still considered part of Captain Levi’s Squad--you had your own private chambers and everything, which meant you wouldn’t have to worry about not waking up anyone while you snuck out of the barracks every once in a while to get something to eat.

Also, now that you were officially being placed with a squad, you knew what people you had to try and made friends with.  Before you’d been hesitant--sure, you understood that the Scouts operated in a way that was going to make teamwork and camaraderie important, so you were going to have to be more social, but you still wanted to be careful about who you let get close.  You still had an instinct to keep everyone at an arm’s length besides those you /had/ to keep close, which you had rationalized would include whoever you were put under and the rest of your squad.

While you’d known Levi was watching you and the rumors had been running rampant that a rookie would be joining his squad, you’d been well aware that he wasn’t watching you because he wanted to add you to the group--he was suspicious of you.  That sparring match you’d had with him had tipped him off, and he hadn’t relented in his pursuit ever since then.  In fact, when he’d told you that you were going to be a part of his squad, he didn’t look entirely pleased about it.  Sure, Captain Levi was usually hard to read and usually appeared distant or unapproachable, but the look in his eyes had been...colder.  It made you suspicious that having you on the squad had not been his decision, or at the very least it had been one he’d made despite his reservations.

Keep your enemies close, right?

Once it was on the table that this might be a position meant solely as an excuse to keep a closer eye on you, it made your skin crawl, and you approached every situation with caution.  You had to watch every step, like you were walking across a tightrope and would drown if you slipped and fell into the waters down below.

When you’d joined the Scouts, you knew that it was going to be difficult to balance being a Scout with hiding your true nature, but this was far beyond what you had expected.  It made you dearly wish that you had thrown that match back on the training grounds, that he’d never gotten a sense that you were hiding something so fiercely.  

Soon, you were going to be kept up at night with an internal struggle to either stick it out and try to endure so you could do what you came here to do, or if you should just take off and slink back into the shadows.

But you couldn’t bear the thought of going back to that life, as much as it might have been ‘safer’ in a way.  You wanted desperately to be here--but did you want it bad enough that you were going to throw all caution to the wind, risk the Captain getting too close to your secret.  In the past, before you’d joined the military, you’d killed the people who came too close to exposing you.  But that wasn’t an option, here.  You knew how valuable Captain Levi was to the Scouts--humanity couldn’t afford to lose him, so you couldn’t afford to touch him.  Your only choice was to play this god forsaken cat and mouse game and pray that you came out on top.

Thankfully, the other members of the squad weren’t aware of the cat and mouse you and Levi were caught up in--not yet, anyway.  Though they were understandably confused and even a little irritated at the inclusion of a still-green rookie, even if it was as an aid.  Maybe the aid position caused a bit more tension, because a new position had been created just so you could be added to the group.

Give it time, you told yourself as you continued cleaning your private room that had been assigned to you, currently working on cleaning the desk off until it had a polished shine to it.  Even if Levi hadn’t added you to the squad because he necessarily wanted you here, you were still going to prove that you could belong here, if they would let you.

“Did you finish with the stables?”

“Yes, sir.  Mucked out, equipment cleaned, horses fed, watered, and brushed, shoes cleaned, all of it.”

“What about cleaning inside, have you done all the tasks you were assigned?”

“All except what Oluo asked me to do.  I haven’t got there yet."

"Well, get to it.  And when you're done come down to the training grounds for some training."

"Yes, sir!"

As you walked away from Eld, your ears picked up on a passing comment he made to Gunther when he thought you were out of earshot.

“Is it just me, or is it frustrating how easily and quickly she tends to get all of her tasks done?  I can’t even find anything wrong with it, so I can’t claim she’s rushing through it!”

"You too?  I thought it was just Oluo complaining about that."

Just as you'd suspected.  The others weren't pleased with your easy access to this position.  They weren't going to say anything because they trusted Levi’s judgement and as far as they knew it was his decision, but that didn't mean they weren't going to be at least a little irritated.  How long had it taken before they'd been added to Levi’s squad?  How many expeditions, how much hard work?  By all accounts, it looked like you'd had smooth and effortless sailing into a position among the elite.

The fact they kept having you do the shit chores was just a way to kick you back in the dirt and remind you that you were still a rookie, and they were the veterans with experience.

However, you didn't complain.  You could do the jobs faster than anyone without loosing accuracy because of it.  Not to mention you felt it might be cathartic for their frustrations.  Though, now it seemed they had a new reason to be frustrated.

You'd tone it back to appease them, but Levi already knew what your full effort looked like with the cleaning jobs--he'd know you were holding back, and you highly doubted he'd appreciate that when it came to cleaning, knowing his standards.

Quickly, you made your way back inside and up to Oluo's chambers, stopping outside the door and giving a firm knock.

"Who's there?"

"It's L/N, you said you had a job for me to do?"

"It's about time you showed up.  Get in here!"

After he'd officially invited you inside, you opened the door, stepping inside and expecting to see paperwork or supplies or something else you would have to deliver or put away.

Nope.  Oluo was standing there with cleaning supplies presented in the middle of the room.  You immediately knew where this was going, and even you could tell it wasn't going to end well.

"Start cleaning, rookie.  I've got more important things I have to get done, and I want it shining by the time I get back," Oluo ordered, complete with a puffed out chest.

You were supposed to follow their orders without question, but you knew Oluo was taking advantage of that fact.  Maybe he was hoping having you clean his quarters before Levi inspected them later today would help him look better to the Captain.  But you were also certain that Levi would recognize that it was your work and not Oluo's

For Oluo's sake, since you were certain he would be the one getting in trouble, you pushed back slightly.

"Doesn't Captain Levi prefer if we clean our own spaces?" You asked as you picked up the broom.  Oluo turned by the door, fixing you with the imitation of an expression befitting a superior who'd just heard a subordinate talk back.

"Huh?  How long have you been here, rookie, compared to me?" Oluo challenged.  You shrugged, turning back to the cleaning supplies and the room you were supposed to clean.

His funeral.

The window was open to let in natural light and try to chase away the gloomy atmosphere in your room, silence filling the space except for the birds outside and the scratching against the paper you were currently drawing on.  Your eyes, however, were unfocused, looking past the piece you were drawing and instead getting lost in the sea of your depressed thoughts.

For three years you’d been back among people, mingling and being a part of society, but never had you felt so...ostracized.  You were among people, but you weren’t close to anyone.  Your peers thought you were a haughty perfectionist ice queen and were irritated by how easily everything came to you, Captain Levi was suspicious that there was something you were hiding and was watching your every move with a coldness in his eyes, and your new squad mates were currently using you as the gopher to dump all the chores they didn’t want to do onto you while giving you examining, dubious looks from a distance trying to figure out why you were even here.

You sat alone at meals, you didn’t go anywhere on your days off--the closest thing you had to a companion were the horses, and most of them were still frightened by you.

You wanted to be here, but...it was getting so hard just to be here.  Was it really worth it if you were going to spend your days feeling like this?

On the paper spread out in front of you, you had a picture drawn from the mental image in your mind’s eye--a single flower in a barren spot surrounded by lush field.  The sun shone everywhere else, but this single spot was cast in shadow.  Despite the barren ground and the lack of sunlight, the flower was trying to bloom, partially budded, some petals trying to uncurl, but ice covered it’s petals and held prisoner it’s stem, restraining it in the icy chill, needing assistance but nothing around it willing or able to help.

You put down what you were drawing with, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes as you headed over to your bed and stretched out on top of the neatly made covers, arms digging under the pillow you buried your face in before tears could overflow.

You were surrounded by people, but you’d never felt so lonely, and you wanted it to change.  Even though you’d signed up for this and known it would be difficult, you couldn’t take living like this anymore.  Something had to change.  You didn’t know how you were going to keep your secret while trying to let people in enough to form bonds, but it was the only real option that you had.

The guys were all dubious of you, you could tell from overheard conversations and the looks in their eyes, but Petra...well, you thought if you were going to start trying to build a friendship somewhere, she might be the one to go to.  She’d been a bit more...open, about the whole arrangement, and she was actually asking for help and trying to get a feel for you while everyone else seemed to be going out of their way to remind you that you were at the bottom of the food chain right now.

Starting tomorrow...you were going to try and be a companion and hopefully manage to find some friendship.  Starting with Petra.

*Petra’s POV*

The mess hall was noisy as ever, making it a little surprising that Captain Levi was still sitting with them at the table after repeating the lecture he'd given Oluo later about doing his own cleaning.  Now that Oluo had attempted to have the rookie clean his space and then pass it off as his own, the rest of them got to get the warning to do their own responsibilities without shoving them all off on the new girl.

Petra had felt bad that she seemed to be getting all the crap jobs nobody wanted to do and then some while the others seemed determined to make sure she knew her place, but she hadn't said anything because not once had the woman complained or looked the least bit upset by it.  Until today, Petra had been unsure how to even approach her, something about her making her seem closed off and unreachable.

However, today she had approached Petra, quietly asking Petra if she would teach her the nuances for how everything was cleaned around here.  Preferences of soaps and organization, what went where and the like.  You could clean till everything shone like a new coin, bur preferences had to be taught or learned.  She'd been aware of it, and she had been humble enough to approach Petra for answers.

It was only when she was approached that Petra suddenly realized how alone the woman seemed.  She never ate with them--in fact she was certain she ate alone--and she was never seen around anyone from her years as a cadet, she didn't seem to leave headquarters to visit family, and if you needed to find her she was either alone in her room or with the horses in the stable.  She was never with someone unless she was doing her job.

The thing that made Petra realize all this was how she was approached.  The woman shifted her weight, a white knuckle grip on the broom in her hand despite visible restraint, her eyes fixed down and to the side, a slight tremble in her hand and a hunch of her shoulders like she was anticipating some negative reaction, or at least reluctance.

It wasn't right.  She was part of their squad, and it was their job to make sure she felt included.  Captain Levi must have felt that she was ready on some level to be here, and they were her comrades.  At the very least, she should have a place among them--she shouldn't be so alone.

So, while everyone else was chatting as usual around the table, Petra kept an eye out for their new squad member.  It took a while, but when the woman finally appeared and left the line to get her food, Petra attempted to catch her attention without the others noticing.

They locked gazes, and Y/N hesitated before she approached their table, making the others look up as she came astride the table.

"May I sit here?" she asked hesitantly, gaze flickering around at the others and lingering briefly on Captain Levi at the head of the table.

"Of course," Petra said instantly, gesturing to an empty seat beside her and flashing a look at the others daring them to disagree while Y/N was taking her seat.  "It's about time you started sitting with your squad."

Her cheeks tinged pink in mild embarrassment, Y/N took a few bites of her meal, clearly uncertain about what to do next.

Well, if everyone else was just going to sit here in awkward silence, and Y/N wasn’t going to take the initiative because she wasn’t sure how, Petra would just have to do it herself.

“So, where are you from?” Petra asked her.  It was probably the best, simple answer to get the ball rolling on conversation.

“A small town in Wall Rose--it tends to get overlooked, and it's usually quiet around there except the occasional scandal.”

“Do you have much family back home?”

“No, it’s just me.”

The way she said it was short, clearly ending the topic there, but she managed to not make it sound mean--just that she wasn’t entirely comfortable talking about it, which made sense.  Petra continued to chat with her, asking simple questions to try and learn more about her, basing some off her observations of the woman--like if she was good with animals.  Apparently animals weren’t always that fond of her, but she had a soft spot for them despite some animals distaste of her.  She thought she might be good with cats or birds, but hadn’t really had the opportunity to test her theory out.

After a bit of back and forth between Petra and Y/N about their lives and learning about one another, the others started to join in as well--aside from Captain Levi, who seemed content to just focus on his meal and listen while everyone talked around him.  As the conversation flowed a little more naturally, Y/N started to loosen up and relax, taking charge of the conversation a few times to ask about the others as well as she bloomed from a closed off background character in a novel to a more outgoing and engaging individual.  It was quite the change to witness.  She still withdrew into herself with more personal questions, especially about her past before joining the Scouts, which gave Petra the impression that the Scouts were a sort of fresh start for the woman.  She shared with them why she’d joined the Scouts, which none of them could deny was a valid enough reason after seeing her in action.  She had skill, and if she wanted those skills to be put to use, the Scouts were arguably the best place for them, and the faction of the military with the strongest need for them.  Besides, who didn’t want to feel useful?  Unfortunately, many Scouts died, and some died so quickly it was easy to wonder if their deaths ever had any meaning to begin with, if it had been worth it.  However, Petra had the feeling this one wasn’t going to be one of those recruits that appeared and disappeared without ever leaving much of a mark.  She just might be around for a while, especially if she was going to take the time to learn from the elites she’d been placed with and stayed grounded, level-headed, and smart.

As the questions drifted away from the personal, in part because of Y/N’s continued reluctance to delve too deeply into the personal, they started peppering her with the twenty-questions kinds of inquiries.  What were her likes and dislikes, favorites, hobbies, fears, aspirations, that kind of thing.  Some she was able to answer relatively quickly, even if it wasn’t simple, such as having no clear favorite because she liked so many, and other times she hesitated, such as when she was asked aspirations, because she hadn’t given it much thought, being so focused on this current stage of her life.

“What about biggest fears?”

“Oluo!” Petra protested, giving him a dirty look.  They were all eating, and this question alone could get extremely dark considering the horrors they faced every day outside the wall.

“What?  It’s a legitimate question.  Some people are scared of spiders, others heights--though you don’t get much of that one in the military, I think--it could be all kinds of things.”

"I think the answer to that is a little too morbid for dinner conversation," Y/N said with a slightly weak smile, which made Petra think it might actually be something to do with Titans.  If it was, it was probably best they didn’t hear it, just in case.

"Nah, it's fine, we're sharing--so what is it?  Fire?  Dolls?  Dead fish?" Oluo asked cheekily.

"Um...being buried alive, actually," Y/N answered, looking down and picking at her food.

"Damn, that is a pretty scary thought.  Wasn't expecting that one," Oluo muttered.  Petra wasn’t paying attention to him--she was reading Y/N’s body language, how she’d seemed to withdraw into herself and her hand was trembling as she pushed around the food left on her plate.  It was most likely at the thought of this fear of hers, if Petra had to guess.  The mental imagery alone was terrifying.

At the other end of the table, Levi was staring at Y/N intently, having noticed the same things, and a little more.

“Now that Oluo has officially tried to sabotage the evening, let’s try some gossip:  I hear you had a knack for sneaking out in the Cadet Corps and never got caught.  What were you doing?  I’ve heard some interesting theories,” Gunther said with a perceiving glint in his eyes.  Y/N sighed even as everyone’s attention centered on her.

“God damn those rumors are going to follow me for the rest of my life, aren’t they?” she mused, not denying that she snuck out as she took a slow drink.

“Well, Rookie?  Care to share?” Oluo asked as she sat down her drink.

She turned to look at the rest of the group, and then with an unreadable expression and in a completely deadpan tone, stated, "I strip naked in the pale moonlight and conduct blood rituals to achieve perfection."

There was a heartbeat, and then snorts, chuckles, a ripple of amusement through the group at the joke.

"Rookie's got a sense of humor," Oluo mused.

Y/N’s lips quirked towards a half smile, taking another drink.  "Wish I could say the same for you."

There was a bit more laughter this time, even as Oluo scowled, no one bothering to hide their amusement at the comment.

"And some snark, to boot," Gunther snickered as Oluo sulked.  “But really, though, what were you doing?”

Y/N sighed, setting down her drink again.  “It wasn’t...actually, you know what,” she said with a sparkle in her eye and a mischievous smile.  “I hear there’s a pot for the theories.  Place bets on it, maybe one day I’ll actually tell you.  Maybe I won’t.”

“Oh, come on,” Oluo complained loudly.

“Now that’s just mean,” Petra said with a cluck of her tongue and a shake of her head while Y/N settled back down, visibly proud of her teasing.

Caught up in their banter and companionable discussion, no one noticed how at the head of the table, laid back in his chair, Levi showed no sign of amusement, his gaze fixated on Y/N with a sharp, cold look.

*Reader’s POV*

After you’d taken your first steps towards developing a warmer relationship with your squad mates, things started to go a bit easier for you.  You were still at the bottom of the food chain, and the responsibilities as an aid hadn’t changed, but you didn’t think you were getting as much shit dumped on you.  It probably helped that Captain Levi had apparently given them a lecture about doing their own chores instead of getting lazy and shoving them all off on her.

For the most part, it was Petra that you were getting close to.  The others were becoming cordial, and you had even approached Eld asking him if he could give you lessons on ODM gear technique after hearing he was quite skilled at utilizing the ODM gear.  That seemed to have helped the relationship there--frankly, whenever you showed a bit of humility about still having a lot to learn, they warmed up a bit more.

It seemed there had been concerns that you would be an arrogant big headed pain in their asses with how quickly you’d shot into the elite squad, and showing them that you still considered yourself in a learning position and not above anyone helped assuage those fears.

Captain Levi...was as suspicious of you as ever.  Except now you were around him enough to feel the chill in his gaze even after you left his presence.  That was a relationship you weren’t sure you were in a position to improve.  You’d given him plenty of reasons to be suspicious of you, but you were still trying your damnedest not to give him a reason to mistrust you.  Maybe it would just take time to prove yourself in his eyes, but at this rate, it was looking like a /deep/ hole you were going to have to climb out of, and for some reason, it just kept getting deeper.

Since it was going to be the more difficult task, you resolved to worry about making a better relationship with Captain Levi later and instead focus on improving the relationship with your squad mates.  Firstly, you didn’t want to be a kiss ass, especially cause you knew it would be obvious.  Second, ideally by the time you set about improving your relationship with the Captain, he might have warmed up a bit to you.

At the very least, it would be nice if that chill wasn’t in his gaze anymore.

Right now, Petra was the closest thing to a confidant and friend that you had.  After you had initially approached her about learning the nuances for cleaning, she’d taken the initiative to help you learn the ropes and adjust to the other nuances of being in Levi Squad, which involved a lot of dos and don’ts.  She’d even pulled you aside one evening and sat you down so she could teach you how to properly make Captain Levi’s tea how he liked it, so that if or when he asked for it--and apparently he eventually asked everyone at some point, at least to gauge their tea making skills--you would be ready.  You’d been down in the kitchen for a surprisingly long time for that one, since apparently Levi liked his black tea made a very specific way, and additives weren’t usually his preference, so there would be no masking any off taste.

Shortly after, you’d decided to let Petra know about your secret little garden with your tea making herbs.  You’d gone when you both had some free time to spare, crouching down beside the garden and talking with her about the different herbs for your blends you’d added and why, complete with a prepared excuse about why the white sage was so far away from the rest and why you wore gloves when handling the plans at all times.

The white sage you told her needed to stay separate because it was aggressive and you didn’t want it taking over the smaller herbs, when you really kept it separate because it burned at the touch and you didn’t want to risk even accidentally brushing against it while you were working on this hobby of yours.  As for the gloves, it was the same concept--it let you handle the sage safely without harming yourself, though you told her it was for cleanliness and to keep your natural oils off of the tea herb plants.

As you’d chatted about the herbs in your garden and potential additions (With Petra suggesting adding the plants necessary to make some black tea blends of your own), you’d caught a familiar scent on the breeze, which led you to hone your senses on the individual’s breathing and heartbeat.  They were staying a safe distance away so as not to be noticed, but close enough that if something happened they would be there in an instant.  They were tense and cautious, listening intently to what was being discussed.

It seemed Captain Levi had reached the point he didn’t trust you alone with the other members of Squad Levi in places that were hidden from the public eye.  Your best guess for his presence was that it was out of concern for Petra, wanting to make sure the other woman was truly safe in your presence.

Once again, you understood his cautiousness, and he wasn’t wrong to be cautious...but the level of distrust still cut.

After about a week or so spent developing a stronger bond with your new squad mates, as the time for another feed drew closer, you decided to confide in some of your concerns with Petra regarding Captain Levi--that you felt you might have made a bad impression on him early on and wanted a way to thaw some of the ice between you two that wouldn’t look like bribery or like you were trying to kiss ass.  You’d tossed a couple ideas around, already reassuring her that you were already intending to let time tell and let your own personality and abilities do most of the work, but that the chill was getting a little too uncomfortable on your end for you to keep going without making some kind of first step.

With an upcoming holiday and a debate about the best approach, you’d eventually settled on putting together a small gift of personalized tea blends.  Since you didn’t have anything mature in your garden for black tea, you had to go into town to get missing ingredients, going with Petra to get her opinion on the best leaves, best tea bags, any additions that you didn’t have in your garden back with the Scouts or that hadn’t matured enough to use anything from it yet like your rosebush.  After you had all of your materials, you’d headed back to HQ and stowed yourselves away in the kitchen to get to work.

Petra had the idea to make a couple different variations--there would be plain black tea, of course, but you’d also had some personal blends that you two decided on, mostly based off of Petra’s experience making Levi his tea when asked to, and her past observations of the few times he’d added something to it.  You would have to divide and label the different teas in the container, but it would make it a little more personal.

However, you got her attention when you brought out the white sage, gloved hands grinding the herb up into a fine powder with a mortar and pestle.

“What’s that for?” she asked with a slight frown, watching you intently grinding at the white sage to make sure it was all powder and there weren’t any chunks left.

“I’m going...to add a light dusting of the white sage over the tea bags.  Hopefully not enough to alter the taste, but it will still be in there,” you murmured, covered fingers running through the powder to check how fine you’d made it.

“I know there’s superstitions about white sage cleansing of evil and bad spirits, but I know the Captain isn’t, and you didn’t take me for the superstitious type.  I just figured you had a fancy taste in tea,” Petra mused.  You almost snorted, but stopped yourself short considering you were currently directly over the powdered sage and didn’t want it to go everywhere.

“While I’m sure the superstitious intent of cleansing and warding off evil adds a bit more personal good intent, the short version is that it’s also supposed to do wonders for your health.  At least according to that book that’s still stashed in my desk,” you chuckled.

“I didn’t know that...a fine addition, then.  You really pay attention to that herbology book of yours,” Petra quipped with a friendly smile, which you returned before setting the white sage aside for later, when your tea bags were finished.

Though only you would know it, if he kept the tea and used it frequently--which was fairly likely with how much tea he drank--then he would have white sage in his system frequently.  That alone would protect him substantially from any other vampires lurking in the darkness.  You couldn’t predict the actions of other vampires, especially with how impulsive they could sometimes be, but if you were this deep in the Scouts, you would rather be safe than sorry, especially if someone with ill intentions managed to work their way in.

Sure, white sage helped with general health, but the real reason you were adding it was for your own peace of mind to help protect Captain Levi.  Why not take the opportunity to do so now that it had presented itself.  If you were in the position to, you would give similar gifts of secret protection to more than just him, but you only had so much white sage, and right now, he was the one you had an excuse to do this for.

Now you just had to hope he would accept it.

*Levi’s POV*

As much as Erwin had a point about being able to keep a closer eye on L/N by having her in his squad, Levi was finding the arrangement to be...complicating.  The way she presented herself, interacted with the others, the hard work she was putting in, he kept finding himself softening towards her because of it.  She was a good soldier who truly put in the effort and then some, and she was quickly growing on the rest of the team.  She was observant and thoughtful, and she paid close attention to the needs and preferences of the people around her.  She wasn’t boastful or arrogant, and apparently was trying to learn something from every member of the squad.  Petra had already taken her in like the natural mother hen she was and was around her quite often, but L/N could be seen around the others as well, just not as much.

For fuck’s sake, she’d even befriended his goddamn horse--he’d caught her in the stables sneaking him some oats and getting playfully nuzzled in return.  From her track record, he knew she had to have put in the effort for that to happen, too, considering the horses started off at least spooked by her.

But he knew she was hiding something.  He couldn’t ignore the signs he’d picked up on until now, how she dodged the personal and tried to keep her past hidden and buried, couldn’t forget the smell of the Underground and blood on her cape, her lack of a past, her unexplained, effortless natural skills, the regular sneaking out to do who knew what.  Maybe it wasn’t as insidious as he kept thinking it might be, maybe he should ease up a bit instead of freezing her out and treating her like an already convicted traitor.  But he couldn’t shake this feeling that whatever she was hiding was far from innocent, and he didn’t want to risk the betrayal, or getting his squad any more mixed up in it than they already were.

Though how well they were starting to take to her and how she was already being included into the fold, he was starting to get the sense that he was on a time limit before uncovering her as a traitor or something else terrible would cause unexpected damage.

Of course, he could take the paranoid route and assume that it was all clever, carefully planned movements, actions, and words meant to manipulate everyone around her into trusting her and letting their guards down.  Unfortunately, not only was that extremely paranoid, but she didn’t lack the sincerity behind much of what she did like certain psychopaths he’d met in the past.  She was very clearly hiding things, and she knew she was being watched, but her sincerity didn’t ring hollow because of it.

Fuck, he hated being in this position.  And he really hated that he’d agreed to Erwin’s idea to put him in this situation.  Even he knew he was being especially cold to her as if it would help put some distance between himself and the warm individual who was working her ass off for him and his squad in case the worst happened.  If he was wrong, though, and what she was hiding wasn’t as malicious as he felt it might be, then he was going to have a lot of reparations to deal with going forward, especially since she was already on the fast track to be a part of his squad for a long time moving forward so long as she continued to survive the expeditions.

It would be so much easier if she just came clean.  They wouldn’t have to do all this back and forth, cat and mouse, and they could move on.  Unfortunately, even though she knew she was being watched and Levi was suspicious, she wasn’t saying anything beyond that comment she’d made the night before the expedition.  Just another reason to believe whatever she was hiding was ugly.

There was a knock on his door, and his gaze flickered up to the shut door across from his desk, a faint frown on his face and Erwin’s findings about L/N spread out in front of him as he was in the middle of contemplating next moves.

“What?” he asked, squinting slightly at the door.

“It’s Y/N L/N.  May I come in, Captain?”

Instinctively, Levi covered the documents he’d been looking at with anything that didn’t have to do with her, from supply shortage lists, reports from Hange and Erwin about the Scouts in general, anything but what he was looking at about her, knowing she had a sharp eye and not wanting to risk her seeing just how much he was aware of.

“Fine, come in,” Levi muttered, arm lying against the desk as the door opened after he spoke, and L/N came in hesitantly, something in hand.

A delivery, then.  It was too much to hope she’d come to finally confess her secret to put an end to their unspoken chase.  A pity.

As she approached, Levi noticed that she was rather fidgety, obviously nervous or at least a little embarrassed, and she was clutching the tin box in her hand rather rightly.  What the hell was this about that suddenly she was a nervous cadet instead of the relatively calm and steady individual he’d been chasing secrets over up until now?

And then he remembered what day it was.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me...

As understanding lit up in his eyes, he held up a hand.  “If this is an attempt at a bribe, L/N--”

“It’s not,” she said firmly, and Levi had to give credit to the balls she had to cut him off like that.  She didn’t even seem to regret it, plowing forward before he could start down the path of rejection again.

“It’s a gift, no strings attached or anything like that.  Petra and I put it together, it’s for the holiday...and it’s also partially a thank you, on my part,” she said before taking a deep breath, setting the box down on his desk neatly on a clean space front and center before stepping away.  “I know I haven’t made the best impression, and you didn’t have to put me with your squad in any capacity, but you did, and I intend to make sure it’s not something you end up regretting.”

It seemed they were both well aware of the game they were trapped in, and she was well aware of her position.  He had to give her credit for not bolting, if she knew the position she was in and how much scrutiny she was under.  Either she didn’t feel what she had to hide was that serious, which wasn’t likely with how hard she was trying to hide it, or she was that confident in her abilities to keep the truth hidden.

He still wasn’t sure he could entirely believe that this wasn’t a bribe, though.  It could very easily be taken as one, or at least a thinly veiled attempt to get him to like her--or at least not be as cold with her.  And she’d involved Petra.  It was almost like she’d name dropped the other woman in order to prevent him from immediately rejecting the gift, because it wasn’t just her that had put effort into it.

Levi stared her up and down intently, eyes narrowed slightly out of suspicion as he tried to gauge her intentions and sincerity.  After a few tense moments where she simply endured his piercing stare without so much as a tremble--there was the collected individual he’d seen up until now--he looked away, down at the papers across his desk.

“If that’s all, you can go,” he said bluntly as a way of dismissal.  She was lucky he wasn’t telling her to take it back.  He wasn’t openly accepting it, either, he was still going to decide what to do with it, but he wasn’t sending it back with her, either.

It was the closest she was going to get to accepting a gift right now.

L/N snapped a salute, apparently deciding it was better not to say anything and to just take the semi-win and leave.  Once the door shut behind her, Levi waited a few more moments before he put the random papers he’d grabbed back where they belonged, pulling the tin close so he could get a look at what was inside now that she’d left.

Opening the tin, the fragrance that escaped immediately told him what the gift was--black tea, but a variety of different blends.  And it was good tea, too, if the scent was anything to go by.  Groups of the tea bags were sectioned off, labeled by the variant they were, such as the one blend that included lemon, or the one that seemed to have blackberries in it.  The tea bags were definitely homemade, telling him the blends were specially made by her and Petra, thought going into the ingredients.  There was a white powder dusted over all the tea bags that turned out to be white sage upon closer inspection.

An odd choice...especially since it was on every tea bag and not certain blends.

The wild thought crossed his mind that they might be poisoned, and he scowled, attempting to brush aside the paranoia with the thought that it would be far too bold and obvious of a move, especially with Petra helping put it together.  He doubted she would have been able to get such a thing past Petra, too, considering the woman’s experience making Levi’s tea.

I’m going fucking crazy, he thought to himself as, despite his rationalization, he pulled out one of the tea bags and started methodically pulling it apart piece by piece to make sure there wasn’t anything fatal slipped into the homemade blend.  He made sure to avoid touching it as little as possible so it was still usable when he was done, shifting through the ingredients in the blend and making sure he recognized every one.

Nothing suspicious about it.  Aside from the odd choice of white sage.

If it really was meant to be a bribe, though, did he want to take it?  He didn’t want to waste the tea, so he wasn’t going to just throw it out.  He could re-gift it to Hange or Erwin, but he knew that would be a slight, and L/N hadn’t been the only one to make it--Petra had helped.

Dammit…

He’d just have to let it sit there until he could figure out what he was going to do with it.  He could speculate on conspiracy theories about what it was meant to be, if it really was anything more than a gift, until he figured out how he was going to handle it.

It really could be what she said, though--a gift for the holidays and a thank you, maybe even a peace offering in the hopes things wouldn’t continue to be so tense between them.  The contention would continue, though, until he found out what she was hiding.

Levi settled back into what he’d been doing before she came to his office, looking over the details Erwin had provided him, a small frown on his face as he looked over official documents and police reports that were roughly forty years old about a double homicide in the town that had spawned local legends and horror stories to frighten children.  Why was this included in the report Erwin gave him?  One of the two victims was the girl that L/N shared a first name with, the only thing resembling a tangible connection to the town she claimed as her hometown that Erwin could find.

He was going to have to talk to Erwin and try to get a day or two off so he could go investigate in person.  He needed more information than what was in these reports, and he would only find what he wanted by going there in person.

Once more, there was a knock on the door, this time followed immediately by a familiar voice calling, “Captain?”

Ah, this was a meeting he’d been waiting for.

“You can come in, Petra,” he called, finally putting away Erwin’s reports in a safe place as Petra entered the room and headed for Levi’s desk.  She didn’t bother asking why he asked her to meet him, simply took a seat and waited for him to speak.

“What do you think about our new member?” Levi asked after he got settled in his seat.  Petra’s surprised eyes wandered to the gift still sitting on the desk, a questioning look in her eyes even though she complied to answering his question.

“Do you mean in skills or compatibility?” Petra asked for clarification after a moment’s hesitation.

“Compatibility.”

He was already well aware of her skills--she wouldn’t have even been placed as an aid in the squad if she didn’t have skills to become one of the elite.  Skill was one of the first things he looked at when choosing squad members.

Petra seemed even more confused that he was asking after her personality more than anything, but again, she didn’t question him.

“She’s quiet and reserved, for the most part, but after spending a couple weeks with her, once you manage to get her to open up she has a warm and caring personality.  She’s a little socially timid, though, I’m sure you’ve noticed; like she’s thinking of how she should act before she does or says something.  At least at first, before she gets more comfortable and gets into the flow of conversation.”

Petra paused to consider, a small frown on her face.  “She’s a creature of habit, that’s for sure--she’s always wearing the same necklace, all the time--I’ve never seen her without it, and there’s certain places she’s always at during certain times of the day.  I’m a little worried about her health, though.  I didn’t notice it at first, but she hardly seems to eat.  She doesn’t get much on her plate, and she’s always smuggling things that are safe for horses to eat to the stables to bribe the horses instead of eating it herself.  She doesn’t seem affected, not yet anyway, but I’m still worried about it.”

Taking the mental notes for later in case that information proved important, Levi pressed a little further.  “What about the others?  It seems like she’s fitting in well.”

Petra nodded.  “She’s getting lessons of some kind from almost everyone, and she’s been a lot better about being social.  She’s making a genuine effort to be a part of the squad, and to be perfectly honest, I like having her around.”

“Anything else?”

Petra’s gaze flickered over to the box sitting on the desk again.  “If it’s not too presumptuous, Captain--I don’t know what impression she made when you two first met.  She mentioned it may not have been the best first impression, but...she really is trying to be worth the chance she’s been given to be a part of this squad, and her attempts appear genuine to me.  Perhaps give her another chance to make a better impression.”

Levi didn’t answer her, and he kept his expression unreadable so she wouldn’t see his reaction to her words.  It was more incentive for him to close this messy chapter, and it helped clear up his thoughts on how to act going forward if this secret didn’t turn out to be something crazy like treason or murder.

“Thank you, Petra.  You can go, now,” Levi finally answered in an indifferent voice.  Petra got up and gave a quick salute, then quietly left the room without any further comment.  Once she was gone, Levi got to his feet with a slight sigh.

He needed to see Erwin.

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier@whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea​

Wings in the Dark Tags:  @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 3 Part 2 - We’re getting INN to it now!

Meanwhile back with Scooby  and the Gang. B-characters realize that the Goldilocks is missing and it was only the 3 bears that were killed.

And we can hear them surprisingly well from this far away. Their voices must carry exceptionally well.

---------------

The spiderwebs of DEATH

Seriously though it’s been hours. How has no one either taken these wires down or run into them accidentally? You cannot tell me they have checked every bit of this place for ChengLing’s body if these are still up.

Someone has lied to you Mr. White ‘n’ Blue.

----------------------

No you fucking did not. If you were cleaning them up roughly you’d at least get the ones on the main doorways! goddamn.

-----------

Old ppl vs the Ghosts!

COME ON DOWN FOR THE FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE THE ALL DEAD VS THE MOSTLY DEAD THIS SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY BE THERE BE THERE BE THERE.

---------------

The Ghost Valley is a menace! It’s high time someone went in there and eradicated them all!

Huh... never thought of that before...

-----------------------

Eh. Old people chanting the children’s rhymes doesn’t have the same tension. It’s just not the right feel. It’s a no from me.

----------------

Yes. This is perfectly far enough away. No one could possibly overhear us from this distance! I am a genius!

-----------------

We are all very worried about ChengLing’s well being. Yes. That is all. Only his well being. Nothing else. No ulterior motives here. Nope. Purely just good will and worry. :DDDD

---------------------

Ah yes! Back to my boys! :D

------------------------

You big softie.

Seriously though. He is so considerate of not only Best Boy’s physical well being but really his emotional state and autonomy as well. He doesn’t expect ChengLing to act like a full grown adult but he doesn’t treat him like a little kid either. It’s great and I’m here for it.

---------------------------------

It’s not stalking if we got here first, right? Now you’re stalking me! :D :D :D :D :D

-------------

Some day soon I’ll get you to admit you like me ;)

-------------------

-------------------------------------------------------

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat you’re here to? At this random river?????? OMG what are the chancesssssss?!?!?

At this point I just wanna know fuckin how????

----------------------------------

A-Xiang deserves a fucking medal for putting up with this BS. For real.

----------------

A-Xu you make-a him sad D:

---------------

Zhou ZiShu! Look out! They’re stealing your boat!!

-------------------------

-Hey if the ghost valley peeps come up to wreck shit it’s gonna be our shit that gets wrecked too you know? -I don’t give a farting fly’s left ass cheek! I’m one foot in the grave already.

------------------

Glazed armor this glazed armor that give me a glazed donut and let’s call it a day. I don’t careeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

------------------------------------------

Are you inn or out?

----------------------

Sorry we’re out of space because for some reason we let ourselves rent out the entire establishment to a single person. Like I get he paid for the rooms but it’d still be bad for business?? Like no one wants to go to an inn if they won’t let you stay even though there are empty rooms. Like the fuck

------------

Look elsewhere? Shit you know this is the only inn in town (apparently)!! Where we supposed to go???

Um... why don’t you try looking at I don’t give a FUCK

----------------------------

Well well well. Who could have seen this coming?

-------------------

Zhou ZiShu is about read to add a few more nails

---------------------------

This old ragged beggar man is hot as fuck. Set him up in my room at once!

Just end my suffering. I beg you

-------------------------

ChengLing just gonna keep his mouth shut and stay out of it

------------------------------

-I gave you my own room! -My room now. Kindly GTFO -But I bought you clothes too! -Yeah no one asked you. GTFO!!

-How have my seduction techniques continued to fail??????????

-------------------------------

Love me pls D:

-----------------

If Oedipus invented a wire tap he’s gonna have to work harder to get past me!!

---------------

But he doesn’t look like he’s a bad person

Bad people rarely do.

--------------------

Take the bed? I couldn’t possibly!! No! You’re taking care of me and protecting me and you’re old! You take the bed! I’ll sleep on the chair! I’m the best boy!!!

Bitch did I fucking stutter?

--------------

You owe me no explanations. I’m sure you have your reasons and that they’re good ones. But don’t suffer needlessly. Treat your wounds and I won’t ask any more about it.

--------------

MY BOY DOESN’T DESERVE THIS. ALL THIS OVER A PIECE OF FUCKIN SEA GLASS??????????

---------------

Ain’t nobody dope as me I’m just so fresh, so clean (So fresh and so clean clean)

--------------------------

Daaate niiiiiight

----------

So I get that you’re like persistently stalking me and all that but like Why??

Because I know you cute as fuck. Why you hiding? Show me what your true face and I’ll tell you what I want. What I really really want.

You first bitch

-------------

Local man tries to pry secrets out of only human in a 10 mile radius who has no ulterior motives and is confused when it doesn’t work.

--------------

Das gay

HDU

----------------------

Clink Clink bitch

-------------------------

Master can you please keep it in your pants for 5 minutes? It’s all I ask. Just 5 minutes of peace! Please!

---------

Pop Quiz! Who is the second cutest person in the world?

I will settle for anyone who feeds me

Naw. Tsundere is where it’s at.

*Is unimpressed in tsundere*

---------------------

Then who is the mostest cutest?

A tsundere with long legs, slim waist, fat ass.

Heavens strike me down now. Please end my misery. Why did I sit here? Didn’t I know better?

Anyone have any more torture nails? Anyone? Please?

-----------------------------

*Insert Mii channel theme*

--------------------

We are the unwashed masses. Let’s go fuck some shit up

---------

Hey guys. Does this look like anime style to you? Someone said it looks like anime but I don’t see it.

I think it looks great! I can’t even draw a stick figure! hahahaha

--------------------------

Sleepy boi <3

----------------

How the fuck did I become the third wheel?

-----------

*mii channel theme continues*

----------------

Your honored uncle here wouldn’t let us eat anything until you woke up even though he sat at my table. D:

-------------------

-Stop acting like a little brat and start acting polite and demure like the other girls

-Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh gross

-------------------------

We’re doing found family and we’re doing it now!

-------------------------

Why aren’t you eating?

Yeah! We had to wait all this time for you to get here and you’re not even eating anyway!!!!!!

Well my home and my entire family died, and so did that random boat man who protected me. And also there’s a hole in my stomach. So I don’t have much of an appetite atm.

Oh My God. can you not???

But that’s how I show affection!!!!!!!! D:<

---------------

Shoving food in your face to hide your tears. A time honored tradition.

Also D: Best boy is sad </3

--------------------

Oh no. More people I’m supposed to remember.

JESUS FUCK REALLY???

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW MANY? You cannot tell me they are all important. Please tell me I’m not supposed to remember this many people. I can’t handle this.

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG

THAT’S 11 PEOPLE AT ONCE! WHAT THE FUCK

---------------

Whenever this guy speaks it sounds like he’s trying really hard not to cough in front of the board meeting.

-------------

Okay so what I got from this is

There was a treaty between these peeps and the ghost peeps to say they’ll leave each other the fuck alone

The ghost peeps broke that promise by fucking with the mirror lake sect and so these peeps decided to retaliate

and they’re gonna retaliate by throwing a party? Like I guess they’re just gathering forces? But like it’s a weird way to do it.

-------------

Oh for the love of god.

--------------------------------

Pffffffffffffffff welcome to the circus

----------------------------

*sigh*

Okay y’all I can remember like 6 people. 7 Max. Y’all gonna have to be picky about who’s important here.

How many of these people do I actually have to know?

----------------------

Now what the fuck happened here and why are the twin jades here?

-------------------------

You two have a piece of the glazed ham. And even though no one is using it it’s really important that we keep it that way. No one must hold all pieces of the glazed ham. Or..... bad things?

--------------

Oh my. Pain o’clock already?

-----------------

SOMEONE GET THEIR ASS IN THERE AND GIVE MY BOY A HUG!

-----------------------

Hey! What do you see? Is he in there? I can’t see a goddamn thing.

-------------------

So I know that he’s like what, 15? And like grew up with a dad. But like you know they made him scream “A-Die” and then wake up to Zhou ZiShu’s comforting touch on purpose. You know that was planned.

Maybe not a father, but certainly a father figure.

(Also thanks, A-Xu for answering my request from earlier for someone to comfort the poor boy.)

--------------------------

What’s this? The sounds of a scuffle???

Whelp. Not anymore.

--------------------------

Couldn’t he have just ordered them to leave instead?

---------------------

The Ghost Valley seems to be following me rather closely.

Oh you have no idea. ;)

-------------------

Alcohol detected

-------------------

Let me call you a cute pet name and I’ll let you drink from my bottle of nectar. ;)

Oh my god this shit again?

----------------------

You know what?

Two can play at this game.

---------------------

You wanna see what lies underneath? Rip it off yourself.

Don’t worry! I’m patient! Sleep well! Dream of me! I know I’ll be dreaming of you! ;)

[antialiasis]

Morphic: the Musical

The Thousand Roads forums have a fanfic music thread. While I don't really do those kinds of threads usually because I don't really listen to a very wide variety of music and generally have a hard time associating music that already exists with unrelated fiction, one of the questions in it is this:

Talk about what would happen if some Broadway hit-maker scooped up your fic and turned it into a script. What songs would be in it? Describe a dance number/dance battle?

And immediately, the musical analysis glint lit up in my eyes. This question was presumably intended in a lighthearted jokey sort of way - imagining some fight staged as a dance battle, a hypothetical Broadway hit-maker doing the adaptation. But that's not enough for me, say I! Musicals are a good and interesting medium for serious fiction that I care about and I am going to serious this up.

See, to me, the musical format has two major strengths as a narrative medium. The first is that it can explore the inner worlds of characters in a pretty unique way. Characters get to monologue in a sort of heightened, non-literal manner, intensified by music: we can learn what they're about, what makes them tick, what's going on in their heads in a particular moment, in a way that wouldn't really make sense presented as actual inner monologue in another medium. The music aspect itself then adds a layer to it that's impossible to replicate in any other.

The second strength of the musical format is that it's really good at highlighting recurring themes, parallels and contrasts. Reprise the same melody, the same lyric, a parallel but opposite lyric, and you've instantly connected two things together. Is there a character arc? You can highlight what has changed. Are there two characters going through something similar? You can draw that out. Is there a recurring theme throughout? Use a recurring lyric, a recurring melodic phrase! Nudge the viewer into forming connections! Delicious! And you can do subtler things on the music level itself - particular instruments with particular connotations, recurring motifs...

So naturally I decided I should think up what a musical adaptation of Morphic would be like. It'd be a fun exercise in putting all my thoughts on musical adaptations into practice, but also an interesting way to help sort out some of my thoughts about characters arcs, etc. for the actual Morphic rewrite. And in the process, I may have gone slightly overboard. I regret nothing.

(I'm about to spoil most of the fic here, if this wasn't obvious)

Morphic: the Musical - tracklist

(Note: this musical is not sung-through; there are regular non-musical sections with regular dialogue in between. Morphic would almost definitely not make for a good sung-through musical.)

Act I

[Intro song] (Brian)

A monologue by Brian at the TV studio as he tries to work through what to say, how to explain or justify any of this (which conveniently serves to exposit to the audience as well as introduce his character). He makes nervous false starts and cuts himself off, starting the verse over each time, and through these false starts we learn what's going on, that the press has been calling them Pokémorphs, that this was all Dave's idea, that alcohol was involved, that it was meant as a basis for further research, that there were never supposed to be *children*, that he doesn't know what he'd even do with a kid, that Dave roped him into going on this show because he couldn't.

[Dave song] (Dave)

This musical properly introduces us to Dave via Jane walking out on him followed by this song, wherein he contemplates chucking baby Jean out the window. It's a dark rock song with big emotional contrasts and raw lyrics that is almost definitely my favorite song in this musical in the hypothetical reality where it is an actual musical and I didn't write it, because I am me. Probably starts with a couple slower lines of desperate disbelief before launching into wild anger about fuck that fucking whore, followed by what I will be referring to as the everything-is-shit verse (please bear with me), just a general cynicism rant about why the world is a shitty place not worth living in, followed by him wildly fantasizing about killing his infant child. What a delightful human being that I adore. The song ends abruptly, he's standing there staring at her in his arms for a moment, then he silently goes to feed her. On the soundtrack you probably might think he just did it.

Fatherhood (Brian)

A montage song covering the timeskip, which probably reprises [Intro song]. Brian initially has no idea what to do with his new squirming horrorblob child and is convinced he will screw it up the way he tends to screw up everything. Makes a couple of false starts again, but then gains confidence as time passes as he genuinely bonds with Gabriel and legitimately thinks he's a pretty amazing kid. There's a repeated line along the lines of that Gabriel's a weird, weird kid, but he's his, initially in a tone of "oh god I'm responsible for him what do" but towards the end is said with pride and fondness.

[Villain song] (Isaac and Jacob)

A duet between the two brothers, exploring what makes them tick. Isaac is all about this heavy pressure and sense of responsibility, originally imposed by his father, that he continues to impose on himself. He's been appointed to take over leading the family/cult and was raised with that constantly in the back of his mind as his future, and he believes that they're God's true righteous people and he cannot go wrong. He has dreams with some regularity that he interprets as visions from God, as he has been encouraged to since childhood by his father. When he has one about murder, it frightens him but he sees it as basically a divinely-appointed mission.

Jacob privately doesn't really believe any of that. He is trapped in this cult and goes through the motions but is not actually driven by any of the things that are driving Isaac. He's fairly quiet for most of the song - as Isaac is going on about his vision, Jacob has a line here and there obliquely challenging it, but Isaac has an answer for everything, and he doesn't press it, instead moving seamlessly on to suggestions for how he should do it. Jacob gets a quiet variant of part of the everything-is-shit verse from [Dave song], expressing the same kind of cynicism in a more reproachful, apathetic way - all in his own head, of course.

Just Like My Hero (Jean and Will)

Jean sings about how she is just like her hero, Sarah Hooter! Starts off describing how they look the same, moves on from there to how she will torch anyone who's mean, etc., just like her hero. Halfway through, Will joins in, and it becomes a counterpoint duet: Jean may be immature and ridiculous, but he deeply wishes he was confident and adored and nothing would get to him, and he admires and envies that about her. His just like my hero has a bit more of an ironic vibe, he'd hardly properly call her his hero, but he looks up to her more than he'd normally admit nonetheless.

Storming the Castle (Jack and Gabriel)

Jack and Gabriel are playing a D&D game with their friends, arguing about the best course of action. Jack is eager to waltz into the bad guys' fortress, storm the castle, while Gabriel urges lying low, says they're too weak. Jack wants to take the leap and try it; Gabriel insists no, we're not taking the leap, it's stupid. "It's brave!" Jack counters. (In the end, Gabriel gives in and they go ahead with it, and it goes fine.)

Unique (Mia and Lucy)

Mia and Lucy play one of their games. The song is about how Lucy needs someone like Mia to challenge her and let her actually indulge her powers, which are otherwise unsettling to people and she's ashamed and self-conscious about them, while Mia needs someone like Lucy to get a real outlet for her hunter's instinct. The word the lyrics are built around is unique; by being the precise way they are, they are each the only person who can provide this for the other.

Mia doesn't sing. She speaks her lyrics in her usual monotone, not even rhythmically. They also don't rhyme. It's technically a duet but really it's just Lucy singing and Mia talking.

[Peter/Katherine song] (Peter and Katherine)

A counterpoint duet between the siblings, contrasting their experience as Pokémorphs. Peter can pretty easily hide that he's different and be treated mostly as a normal kid, and feels free in his privilege, not confined quite the way the others are, able to be a bit reckless and incautious. Katherine, meanwhile, has a very different experience, being extremely noticeably different, getting stared at, and struggling with basic activities, and feels a huge sense of responsibility weighing her down, worrying about Peter and grounding him and reining him in. There's a lyrical contrast involving something something bird freedom plant rooted down something.

Brian's Death (Isaac and Dave)

This is one of those mostly-instrumental pieces that they include on the soundtrack anyway, but Isaac gets a couple of sung nondiegetic lines in here, a sort of frantic excitement, realizing in a brief panic that he shot the wrong guy before rationalizing that God must have planned it this way.

Dave is probably also in there screaming and attempting to call the police, because I am always in favor of screaming and panicking on musical soundtracks.

The Funeral (Gabriel and Jack)

Begins with Gabriel at the church during the funeral, singing about his vague discomfort being there, but slowly becomes increasingly frantic and anxious, working up to a breakdown where he exits and finally manages to cry for his dad. There's a verse about little things, how they ordered pizza the night before he died, etc., culminating in the bit about him having been in the middle of this mystery novel and never getting to learn who did it; the verse trails off quietly there, backing instruments gone, as Gabriel breaks down. Jack follows to comfort him.

Act II

[Montage song] (everyone)

A montage of the days after the attack, where everyone gets a couple lines about how they're coping, scared and grieving.

Dave's lines are like, spoken slightly too desperate annoyance at having to do some work that Brian didn't get to finish, or rebuking somebody who asks how he's doing by saying he barely even knew Brian. He is not singing along with this kind of grief-porn bullshit, fuck you.

[Villain song II] (Isaac and Jacob)

The brothers come up with a new plan. Isaac is agitated, reprising some of his bits from the original villain song in a quicker, more frantic tempo, while Jacob picks up the slack, walking him through a new idea. Isaac takes to it with conviction and goes back to the original melody/tempo, talking again about his God-given purpose. Jacob does not join in with any of that, only with the bits about the actual plan.

The Kidnapping (instrumental)

I'm just going to say this is on the soundtrack too and contains panicked Gabriel noises because I want it to be.

Storming the Castle Reprise (Jack)

Jack tries to rally the others for a rescue mission, echoing the D&D game from Act I. The lines about storming the castle and taking the leap make a reappearance.

Just Like My Hero Reprise (Jean)

Jean, on the bus, miserably contemplates how she is unlike her hero. Again, it begins with a verse talking about how she looks - not a thing like Sarah Hooter anymore - but then moves on to how she's scared and pathetic and running away, unlike anything a hero would do.

Church Sequence (Will, Jack, Mia)

A single track, largely instrumental/dialogue/sound effects, with a couple of brief song snippets:

- Will reprises "Just Like My Hero" as he wills himself to go on. He is cut off mid-line as he is shot.

- Mia slits that guy's throat and she actually sings a few words, for the first and only time, before she is also cut off mid-line by a gunshot. The line is something about, like, warm blood in her face or the guy's satisfying death throes, reprising part of the melody of "Unique".

Strong (Gabriel)

Gabriel discovers his powers. Starts slowly, calling back to the bits from "Storming the Castle" about lying low, being weak. But as the song continues and he makes his discovery, the tempo builds, and he starts reprising Jack's bits instead: he is strong, taking the leap, storming the castle.

Perish Song (Lucy)

Another brief reprise of "Unique", distorted and deafening and terrifying, mourning her sister.

[In the Hospital] (Jack and Gabriel)

The two of them work out their feelings about what happened. Includes Jack going "It was stupid" (i.e. the rescue mission) and Gabriel responding "It was brave", echoing the bit where they said the opposite in "Storming the Castle". Jack blames himself for how it all turned out, feels stupid and weak, while Gabriel actually felt kind of awesome. (This is also calling back to their opposite bits of "Storming the Castle".) They end with a shared duet verse as they realize they've both got that same innate desire to fight and win. Possibly calls back to the weird, weird kid line from "Fatherhood".

Eulogy (Dave)

Dave's eulogy for Mia (which also touches on Will, but this is Mia's funeral). It reprises "Unique". There will never again be anyone like the two of them, two of the only truly unique people on this Earth. (And, while he doesn't say it straight out because hahahaha, he needed Mia, too).

Taking the Leap (Jack and Gabriel)

Jack's suicide attempt and his swirling inner turmoil as he tries to talk himself into taking the leap once again. Gabriel, of course, comes in with don't take that leap. Am I overusing this one line by putting it in like half the songs in this thing? Well, who's going to stop me.

[Peter/Katherine song reprise] (Peter and Katherine)

The two of them contemplate indefinite house arrest (in contrast to the freedom Peter's enjoyed most of his life) and Katherine's failure to stop all this (despite her sense of responsibility). In the end, they both find their own ways to accept the new state of things and support each other through this.

Finale (Dave and Jean)

After Dave breaks down on his couch and Jean comes in to ask what's wrong, Dave sings a reprise of the everything-is-shit verse, going over the many things he's angry about, because that is the only emotion involved here clearly. At the exact point where Dave's song originally went from there to fantasizing about throwing her off the balcony, Jean throws her arms around him and sniffles "It'll be okay, Dad," and after a stunned "What? Jean, I'm--", he continues with a slow, hesitant *inverted* reprise of the everything-is-shit verse, "Everything'll be fine", constructing a little fantasy reality for her (and himself) where everything turns out all right in the end. It's backed by, like, a simple, quiet, slower piano rendition of the original melody, and trails off at the end, never quite coming to a satisfying conclusion before he tells Jean she should go back to bed.

[bthump]

Suppose that Miura actually storyboarded the next 3-4 chapters (as many mangaka do) and what happens next is that Casca uses the behelit and triggers another Eclipse. How do you see that unfolding?

You know, I had a pretty solid impression of how it could all unfold with Casca and Moonbaby and Guts and maybe a few rpg group extras, but Griffith werebabying back first really threw a wrench into my preconceived notions lol.

I’d really like to see Casca walk out, see Guts and Griffith, and just immediately flashback. We see more Eclipse memories and scary Guts memories and very prominent demon fetus memories too, and the behelit opens immediately, no hesitation no delay. Maybe Guts runs up to her when he realizes she’s losing it and just makes things worse, that’d be cool. No Farnese trying to talk her down though, unless she’s wholly unsuccessful and doesn’t delay it.

After that it gets sketchy for me because I honestly can’t imagine how an invocation of doom would go with naked Griffith there hanging out as a potential sacrifice, or housing one at least. It’s too awkward for my brain lol. Would he be fighting Guts in a corner? What would Guts be doing anyway?

wrt Casca and the Godhand though I like to think they’d just be like, ‘yo so it probably sucks to bear so much pain and still be stuck with people who caused it, want a way out? want a new and improved metaphorical sword to take up? well have we got a fun sacrifice for you!’

Then they give her the absurd werebaby explanation and Casca’s like, yeah fuck dealing with any of that weird fetus Griffith shit, gimme the abortion with bonus monster powers. If Farnese is here to watch she again tries and fails to stop her, and failing her promise to drive Casca’s darkness away causes some emotional fall-out for her so that whole thing isn’t completely pointless.

Sacrifice happens, this either has the effect of Griffith getting sacrificed too because Casca got a 2 for 1 deal and took it, in which case he survives because he’s a magic demi god but getting sacrificed fucks him up somehow and changes the game. OR Griffith does not get sacrificed too and this has the effect of separating Moonbaby out and destroying it, which leads to a tragic low point for Our Heroes in which it seems that Griffith is finally free of his One Weakness, oh no, yadda yadda yadda, in theory leading to an eventual reveal that oops no he’s not free of that weakness after all lol.

After the sacrifice happens Skull Knight busts in like the koolaid man again and this time with the help of Elfhelm and the magic power boost gained from opening a behelit and making a sacrifice (I’m js, the wickermen are evidence that Elfhelm uses sacrificial magic too...) he traps the Godhand in the vortex as he planned. Or, possibly, does something else instead now because it was implied that plan had an expiration date and NGriff joining the worlds together might’ve been it. Point is he shows up and fucks more shit up.

Guts is very upset by all of this, having been used, having seen the godhand again, having watched Casca sacrifice their magic kid and turn into a monster, and having seen naked Griffith again still without getting to fuck him, so he goes beast of darkness at some point during this.

That’s probably the most we could fit into these chapters, and that’s a stretch, like it’s a lot more likely half the rpg group ends up in the vortex with them and that draws it all out twice as long by commentating on how weird everything is in the background lol.

Anyway yeah, idk! like I said the details aren’t my forte, but ty for asking and I hope you enjoyed reading this anyway!

[moonlightflower21]

Sometimes people aren't meant to be in relationships...

"We need to talk..." The deep voice of your mutant turtle boyfriend filled the room and you turned towards the window, a neutral expression on your face. As bad as it was, he was the last person you wanted to end the night with. Lately everything had been different. Your interaction with him depended on the entirety of his mood. He deemed he was too busy for you but you had drop everything just to be there for him? This wasn't how relationships worked. Granted, this was his first hur even after trying to talk to him, he was the equivalent of a brick wall. Just go through one ear and out the other.

"What?" You answered, sitting down on your bed. A fluffy blanket draped your legs, tiredness crawling in your veins. Hopefully he would go soon, for you really couldn't be asked for his bullshit.

"You haven't called in days, what's going on??" He asked, leaning against the wall with an accusing brow. Yours were now raised, wondering if he was actually being serious. Oh, so now he cared??

"What does it look like?? I'm in bed. And I didn't call because I simply didn't want to. I am not obliged to talk to you everyday especially if you cannot be bothered to put in the effort either" Your fingers gripped the blanket tightly, hoping he was able to pick up on the signs and leave. But he didn't, of course he wouldn't.

"It's like I don't know who you are anymore. You suddenly seem to busy to do anything with me. And when I ask, you leave promptly. How can I put in effort when you can't even be around me anymore!" He snapped, you could practically see the steam coming from his ears. But anger bubbled in your stomach and you stood, ripping the blanket off and throwing it away from you. Any and all signs of tiredness and exhaustion flew out of your body and rage filled the spot instead.

"Who the fuck do you think you are??? Walzing into my bedroom, accusing me of absurd things! Why should I even make the effort?? Everything is always about you! All our talks, all our interactions. When was the last time you've asked me if I was okay?? I'm just a thing you like having on your elbow, something to show off to your brothers but you know what?? I can't do it! I don't give a fucking damn if you're upset because you've made me feel like shit for months! But have I ever made you feel bad about it??" You yelled, watching his figure stiffen and clench at the tone of your voice. You've never raised your voice at him like this before.

But he wasn't a child, he was a full grown adult that had to understand that life isn't easy. Everyone has problems and issues and he isn't the one in the entire world that has it hard.

"And while we're at it, your number one excuse is always your ninjitsu responsibilities and I understand. Believe me, if I didn't I would've left months ago. But suddenly it's my fault these people don't appreciate the work you do for them! Am I supposed to go to every resident in the city and praise you??"

"That's quite enough, Y/N!-" He started but you stopped him there. He wanted to open the bottle of faults and blame, you sure as hell were going to make him understand it was a two way situation.

"Be quiet. I'm not done" You seethed, fists clenched so tightly you were sure your fingernails had penetrated the first layer of your skin. But you couldn't bring yourself to care, your entire body felt hot. Anger, disappointment, bitterness, pain, everything swirled in your head and poured out of your mouth.

"You don't know HALF the shit I'm going through. You obviously don't care so please, tell me what the fuck is this relationship?? For you to dump all your problems on me?? As a partner, I will listen and console you when needed. But I draw the line now, I am not your therapist. You don't bother listening to me, so now it's the same. I don't care what happens to you, Leonardo" Hands raised in surrender, you step back maintaining the eye contact. You heard a soft gasp coming from him as you spilled your true feelings but you couldn't care less. Actually it felt refreshing to say everything that was weighing you down, able to finally fucking breathe.

"What are you saying?" He whispered, voice hoarse. Pins felt like they flooded his throat, following all the way down to his chest. Puncturing his heart. As if everything was on a standstill, the words fell from your lips slowly. And yet, he couldn't do anything to stop them.

"Isn't it obvious? I can't do this anymore. Mentally and physically. I can't be the person you want me to be. And clearly you're not happy with who I am-"

"I am! God, Y/N, I love you for who you are-"

"No you don't. Like I said, you fell in love with the idea of having a partner. But you don't love me for who I am. You want me to be someone who benefits you and you only. I just.... I can't do it" You laughed, however he knew there was anything but humour in your tone.

It hurt you to say the next words but you know he has to hear them, in order for you both to move on. You wouldn't have ever thought you could say it to his face but boy, life sure works in crazy ways.

"Leonardo, I just.... I don't love you" You utter calmly, glancing at those stormy irises. You know he won't break down in front of you but you can sense his sadness from here. It made you feel weird, you weren't ever the cause for his grief.

Leo didn't think he heard you correctly, expecting you to break out in a smile and yell it's all a joke. But your face spoke otherwise. Hands folded, stance rigid, he knew you meant business.

"So this how it's going to end? When... when did this happen?" He sniffs, both eye brows raised trying his ultimate best to not cry in front of you. You knew what he was referring to but was it ever acceptable to tell a partner when you fell out of love with him? It would be too much for him to handle.

"I don't know-" "Tell me" He commands, his stature matching yours and you shrug your shoulders. Fine, you had warned him. See if he can handle the cold truth.

"Around two weeks ago. I realised that this relationship... well, I've already told you" You eye his features. Though he seems unfazed, his eyes tell a different story.

"Okay..." He brushed a hot tear away, knowing it was only going to be the first of many to arrive. His heart pained immensely, as though someone had a tight grip around it. Slowly but surely breaking piece by piece.

"I'm sorry... for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you needed. And I'm so sorry for ever treating you like you didn't matter" He turned to look at you, his sapphire eyes shining with the unshed tears. It just twisted the knife that was in your heart. The tears shouldn't be there, he shouldn't have to feel like this. Your arms pitched with the urge to hold him, pretend that it was all going to be okay. Because even if he put you through hell, you still loved him. And that was what you hated the most. Even after everything, why did your heart still beat for him?

"Just close the window when you leave" You turn away, picking up the tossed blanket on the floor. He nods, taking a deep breath. Feeling another hot tear leave his eyes unwillingly, he obliged. He didn't know what he had expected anyway. You to wipe his tear and kiss away his pain? In another world perhaps, but here? Only a turmoil of pain and he was right in the centre. Quietly, the window gently closed as he vanished in the night.

You had taken a deep breath but your lungs felt empty. Heart heavy, body numb, the pain you tried to keep in all night dripped down your cheeks. Continuous hot tears rolled down and you hadn't the energy to wipe them away. And funnily enough, through this you could feel your heart slowly being relieved. Slowly being let out of the shackles it once was pinned in.

Leo didn't know where he was going, anywhere but his home. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, the tears blurred his vision. Stinging his eyes, burning his cheeks but they were unstoppable. Hearing a loud roll of thunder in the distance, he knew he should have gone home. But he wasn't able to face his family. What a horrible day.

One minute he was on the ledge and the next he felt himself toppling off the edge. Through his heartbreak, he must've miscalculated a step and toppled down the long building. His body banged into the walls, scratched roughly by the bricks until he was thrown into the ground with a loud bang. He was so lucky it wasn't packed and crowded.

Surrounding by the bin bags, drenched with rain, he couldn't hold it in anymore. A shaky cry overcame his body, heavy sobs racking his entire body. He felt like he couldn't breathe, hands trembling trying to console himself. The cries felt like they came from his very soul, gasping for air that never reached his chest. Everything hurt around him. And as if the sky was in agreement, the drizzle of rain became heavy; drenching his very core.

His calf burned, excruciating pain shot up his leg if he added the slightest bit of pressure. Skin was torn from his shoulders and his head felt like it had been punched several times relentlessly.

The rain washed his body, stinging his wounds and carrying the blood away. He heard his phone go off but he hadn't the courage to answer it just yet. He needed help but he couldn't bear to look at anyone. He was where he belonged, with the trash and the dirt. He deserved the hate from other people. He deserved your anger. If only he was able to truly see how you were, maybe this could have been prevented.

Some people didn't deserve love, maybe he was one of them.

No, he was one of those people.

[americasmarauders]

Wasteland, baby!-- Ben Hargreeves (part 1).

author’s note: hello hello. after weeks of writing here it is: my masterpiece. to be complete honest, this might actually be one of the best pieces of writings I have ever produced. ever. 

words: 2759

masterlist

part 2

part 3

part 4

summary: that girl on the bus stop seemed so lonely and Ben couldn’t help himself really. So, he snuck out and became her friend.

He was having a hard time sleeping. It usually happened after a mission. Ben was haunted by the monsters he unleashed, and the faces of those he attacked. He hardly could sleep after using his powers. He silently thanked that Father had stopped monitoring their sleep after Five disappeared.

           He sat on his bed, his back resting against the wall, his feet dangling. He looked out the window, the sun was barely up and the streets were quiet. Usually, he was always the first one to wake up out of his siblings—the morning light peaked right on his face. He would wait until the dreaded knock on his door, a sign that they were to face the horror they called Father.

           Usually, Ben would sit watching the streets, quietly wondering and admiring the normalcy of it. There wasn’t anything to watch, a couple of cars passing, the tiny garden one of the residents of the building in front tended to, a bus stop that half disappeared on the corner of the sidewalk.

           However, today, something got hold of his attention. A girl, standing quietly near the bus stop, just enough so Ben could see her clearly. She had a clear umbrella dangling off her backpack. She wore jeans and a white t-shirt with a print he couldn’t quite discern. She looked about his age, but it wasn’t that what intrigued him,

           She looked so lonely. She had a lost look in her eyes. She kept glancing up and down the streets, her face morphing into something sadder each time she saw no one was coming.

           His heart beat faster and faster. How come? She looked so kind and sweet. How could someone leave her alone?

           He shuffled on his bed, his face this close to the glass window, clinging to her image. Ben watched her with curiosity. She was a new figure in his life, his so controlled and planned life.

           He didn’t know how long he stayed there looking at her, but he heard the dreadful knock on the door. It must have been long.

           “I’m coming,” he answered to it.

           When he looked back to where the girl was standing, she was gone.

#

#

Ben woke up earlier the next days. Earlier than he usually did. He spent the entire week looking at her. She stayed at the same place for a while before she walked off to the end of the street, he guessed to the school at the end of it. She always looked lonely, she always was looking for something or someone to accompany her.

          He changed out of his pajamas quickly. He was tying his tie when he turned to the window, one knee on the bed, seeing if she was outside. He finished his tie and pulled the sweater on top of it, opting against using his blazer.

          Ben glanced one last time out the window. The sky rumbled. He sighed, as he looked up to the sky, little droplets of water fell. He put his shoes on and quietly left his room. He avoided all the spots in the corridor where the wood would creak under his feet. He hoped Pogo was nowhere near the entrance.

          He descended the stairs quietly, his heart beating rapidly and strongly. Ben had never done something so sneakily and so exciting in his life. Sure, he had once messed with Allison’s teddy bear and a string of other practical harmless pranks, but this felt different and more criminal than those childish plays.

          As he stood in front of the door, his hand gripping an umbrella tightly. His other hand hovered over the handle hesitating. He closed his eyes and, in a rush, he opened the door and stepped outside. He opened his eyes as he felt drops of water hit his shoulders and hair. He smiled and closed the door.

          With the umbrella opened, he crossed the streets in long strides, laughing at the thrill of defying orders. He could see her, standing under her clear umbrella looking down at her phone—a luxury he wished he could have. Just as always, she looked a tiny bit sad.

          He slowed down his pace, still smiling. He quietly approached her. She sensed him coming her way and looked up right at him. Ben wasn’t counting on how beautiful she looked up close, he had seen her only from afar. He faltered for a split second shocked, but quickly recomposed. He stood next to her, his smile still very much present.

          “Hi,” she said quietly.

          “Hey,” he breathed out. “I’m sorry,” he laughed nervously, “it must be weird. I mean, you’ve never seen me. I—” he cleared his throat, “I noticed you looked quite lonely and I thought I’d stay with you.”

          She smiled. “Okay,” she said quietly. “It’s not weird. I saw you looking last week.”

          “Oh,” Ben hadn’t seen her looking. “I didn’t know.”

          “It’s okay,” she responded. “Someone might have thought it was creepy, but,” she laughed and shook her head, “I somehow knew you didn’t mean any harm.”

          “That’s—” he swallowed nervously, “good.”

          “I’m Y/N,” she said and his heart stopped for a second at how beautiful and fitting it was.

          He smiled at her. “I’m Ben.”

          Lightning stroke and she yelped slightly. Both giggled at her scare. Both knew it was the start of something magical.

#

#

It became a routine. A routine he maintained for the better part of 2 months.

           Ben would wake up earlier—they started to meet earlier and earlier, craving for more time together as they became closer—jump out of bed, and fly out the door (he started climbing out the window when he had a near encounter with Pogo one morning). He would stay with her until she had to leave for school. With that he would climb to his room and put on his blazer. Sure, he would come to breakfast a few minutes later, but it was all worth it. She was worth every second of the few minutes they spent together.

           He discovered a lot of things about her. She lived a couple of blocks away and she went to school just down the street. She was a year younger than him and she wanted to be a scientist after school. She read a lot, mostly contemporary books, but there were some classics that she absolutely loved like Peter Pan and To Kill a Mockingbird.

           Some would argue she was absolutely, positively ordinary. To Ben, that was what made her extraordinary. He was surrounded by things he couldn’t really explain, that most couldn’t even begin to wrap their heads around it. His whole existence was one of mystery and, quite frankly, horror.

           Y/N was the opposite. She was normal. No powers, no buying kids to experiment on them. She had both parents, normal balanced adults who loved her very much. She was an only child, no crazy siblings for her. She went to school and learned normal things, she didn’t learn a thousand different languages and advanced calculus or whatever. She said she didn’t have many friends, but he was her friend. He believed he was her friend because she was his only friend.

           It was a sunny day, hot, nearing the end of the school year to her. Ben was sweating in his button up, and she adorned a sundress. Some would say it was behaved, playing it safe, she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. To Ben, it was perfect. She glowed. Her hair was down and she clutched her backpack tightly, the clear umbrella always hanging off of it.

           They chatted lightly. As they talked, Ben lost track of time. She was supposed to be heading to school and he was supposed to be on his way down the stairs as the breakfast hour neared. His eyes drifted to the academy, his brother Klaus looking out his window with a smirk framing his face.

           “Shit!” Ben said, frantically looking down a watch he kept in his pocket.

           “What?” Y/N responded confused. “Is everything okay?”

           “We lost track of time,” Ben said looking up the window one more time, Klaus signaling to his wrist as if Ben was running out of time. Y/N’s eyes trailed to where Ben was looking. She raised her eyebrows at the sight of a boy at Ben’s window, absolutely amused at the situation. “We need to go.”

           “Yeah,” she breathed out, her eyes peeling off the window and settling on Ben. She smiled. “See you tomorrow?”

           “Yeah, yeah,” Ben shook his head, already halfway across the street in a rush. “See you!”

           Shit, shit, shit, shit, he muttered all the way up to his window in the second floor. As he got up there, Klaus helped him up the ledge, helping bring his brother into the room. He didn’t wipe the smirk off his face, as Ben frantically composed himself in the mirror, straightening his tie and fixing his hair. He picked up the blazer on top of his bed and put it on.  

           “You’re lucky it was me who caught you,” Klaus said amused.

           “Shut up, Klaus,” Ben muttered.

           “Wow, Benny boy, you wound me,” he said dramatically. “I guess you won’t mind then if I tell dear old dad that Number Six is sneaking out of the academy to flirt with girls,” he completed with annoying kissing noises.

           “Don’t tell Dad,” he gritted angrily. His eyes softened and he quietly begged, “Please, Klaus. She—,” he swallowed, “she has nothing to do with this. Don’t involve her.”

           Klaus wasn’t one to show softness: he hid it under a much dramatic persona, alcohol and drugs—not necessarily in that order. Ben was lucky his brother was sober that morning. “I won’t,” Klaus said. “But you have to more careful.”

           With that, Klaus was out the door. Ben exhaled deeply and muttered a small yeah before he was off to slay that morning’s demon.

#

#

Ben laid awake that night.

           He had spent the entire day on edge, hoping Klaus wouldn’t spill his biggest secret to everyone, especially their Father. Thankfully, he wasn’t that much of an asshole, and even when Klaus was higher than high that afternoon, he managed to keep his mouth shut—which was greatly appreciated by Ben.

           He started to reflect on every single conversation he and Y/N shared, his heart racing at the memories. It started with a simple glint in her eyes, and it escalated to Ben feeling like he couldn’t breathe right if he didn’t see her regularly.

           He hadn’t felt that way before, but he wasn’t exactly daft to the symptoms he was feeling. He had read enough novels to conclude he was either having panic attacks—which weren’t all too weird for him or his siblings to have—or he was in love. He quickly dismissed the first option. It wasn’t prompted, not like it usually is, and he couldn’t even imagine Y/N being a source of panic for him. Not when she felt like the only good thing in his life.

           The logical conclusion was love. But a part of Ben was reluctant to admit that. It wasn’t planned: he hadn’t planned on loving her, he just wanted a friend. It was too soon for it. They’d had only two months of friendship, something he held so close to his heart he didn’t tell anyone he had a friend outside the Academy. It was an accident—a slip, really—that Klaus had found out.

           That also prompted the elephant in the room: she didn’t really know who Ben was. She knew who he was, of course, he was Ben. He hadn’t lied and maintained his personality a secret in a weird catfishing way, no. She just didn’t know who he was. She didn’t know his surname, she didn’t know why he only wore white button ups, shorts and ties, she didn’t know why he had an umbrella tattoo at only 16 years old, she didn’t know he housed monsters inside of him.

           The worst part is: Ben chose to omit that part of him. He didn’t want her to befriend him for his powers or for who his siblings were, he wanted her to like him for him, just plain old Ben. He wanted to prove to himself he was more than a number—sadly, quite literally—that his whole world was a mere detail in the grand scheme of things, that he mattered outside of being a tool for world salvation.

           And she had helped him prove that. He knew that, now. He knew by the way her face would light up when she saw him cross the street, coming at her encounter. He saw by the way she would laugh at his sarcastic remarks on some random anecdote she was telling him about school. He saw at the way she would smile and listen attentively to what he was saying, even if it was the silliest thing to ever leave his lips. He knew he mattered to her. More than he could imagine, maybe. And, somehow, that was the world to him.

           Smiling, he shifted in his bed, laying on his side. He looked at his night stand, the book she lent him staring back at him. She said that when she read, it had reminded her of him. He could hear her saying that—the memory too fresh from the previous day—it sent butterflies to his stomach and his thought became all fuzzy.

           He hadn’t opened it yet. She said he was to open it. He felt bad for a second, he hadn’t had the time to do what she asked him to, but that thought quickly subsided with the memory of the exhaustion he felt after the training he had endured. If she knew, she would understand, right?

           Ben picked the book up sitting upright in his bed. The clock flashed a 9:37 pm in a sickly green. If he could read at least the first chapter of it, he would finish it in minutes, and it wouldn’t leave him too exhausted for tomorrow’s training and he could comment his thoughts with her.

           His fingers trailed lightly over the creases of the title. My Sweet Orange Tree, it read. He opened it and an envelope fell. He put the book aside and opened the envelope. He first took out a paper, folded in itself a couple of times. He then noticed there was another item inside of the envelope but opted to read the letter first. Ben turned the lamp beside his bed on and read.

           Dear Ben,

           I know you often choose to read intellectual books, your brain too smart to waste time on fickle fantasies. But I ask for you to waste time on this one. You’ll find that there’s more than meets the eye. Just like you, I suppose.

           There’s a moral to this story you’re about to read, one I hope we get to discuss more than the few spare minutes we have before I go to school and you have to do whatever mysterious things you refuse to tell me. I hope you find it fitting, just like I found it fitting for you and me.

           I know it seems early and even cowardly to say this through letter and not to your face, but Ben, my god, you mean so much to me, more than my brain can process. My heart surely can. I hope you know this.

           It sounds silly and old fashioned, but I put a photo of me in the envelope. So, you’d remember me if something were to happen, or just remember me in general. I didn’t mean to sound so pessimistic. Behind the photo there’s my telephone number: home and cellphone. If you ever manage to, perhaps we can call each other?

           After that sequence of random topics, I bid you farewell, my Ben. I hope to see you tomorrow.

             Love,

                       Y/N.

           He threw the letter aside, reaching for the envelope he had abandoned a few moments ago. He took the small picture out of it. Y/N was smiling at the camera, wearing that amazing sundress he loved, looking carefree. He smiled at the picture, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest. He flipped the picture, the numbers in black ink and her penmanship.

           He put the letter and the picture on his night stand, making a mental note to get a frame for her photo. Ben sighed happily and opened the book. Chapter one.

[imagine-loki]

You Have Heart

TITLE: You Have Heart CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 2/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine finding out that your soulmate is Loki and your very first kiss is interrupted by Thor shouting “Yeeessss” RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS:  This is a rewrite of the original work of the same name.  Also on AO3 here

You looked up in shock and saw that the entire theater was looking at you.  The flash of power had been brighter than you thought to draw everyone’s attention away from the action on the screen.  But it wasn’t every day that someone became the soulmate of an Avenger.  Or worse, the soulmate of Loki.  Loki was supposed to be the villain, wasn’t he?

No, the news and the team had made it clear that Loki had been under mind control during the battle. Loki wasn’t a villain, he’d just been made to do terrible things.  

That didn’t stop your shock at the flash of power from your tattoo. Or the rest of the theater’s.  The whispers started almost immediately.  The tattoos sometimes did weird things when they were activated, when the soulmate had been found.�� Changing colors was frequent.  Some people reported a buzzing, fiery, or cold sensation.  There were reports of a flash of light.  

Usually, it wasn’t quite so flashy.  

You glanced at the words on your arm again, still in disbelief.  There was no denying it, though, the words had changed from black to emerald green with gold sparkles throughout the letters.  

You have heart

You hadn’t expected the words to be said in the manner they had been.  

Would he even believe you?  

There was no way a god would want someone like you for a soulmate. 

Soph was looking over at you with her mouth hanging open.  “Did-?” She couldn’t even form a sentence.  Her eyes went to the tattoo on your arm, which was still glowing faintly.  That definitely wasn’t normal.  Her eyes went wide.  Neither of you had known why those would be the first words you heard your soulmate say.

Now you knew.

Fuck.

What were you going to do?

The entire theater was still whispering and you realized that moments had passed, if that.  They were all still staring at you and you wanted to vanish and get away from all of their stares.  But of course that wasn’t going to happen.  The best you could hope for was everyone deciding it wasn’t interesting anymore and going back to the movie.  

After the movie, you could figure out what to do with this new development.  

And try to come up with something to say to Loki. 

But… that would never happen.  There was no way a no one like you was going to get to the Avengers, get them to believe you that you were Loki’s soulmate because you’d heard this line spoken in the movie, or get them to care or help you.  There was also no chance Loki would want you as a soulmate.  

You were doomed to being alone, your soulmate found but not reciprocated.  It was very rare for the soulmate bonds to be rejected, for soulmates to never be found, but it did happen on occasion.  And there seemed to be little to no hope that you would actually meet yours in person.

You tried to focus your attention back on the movie.  Maybe if you looked at it hard enough, everyone would stop staring at you and return their attention back to the movie.  

For a moment, you thought it was going to work.

For one single moment.

Then the moment was ruined by the shimmer of green magic at the front of the auditorium.  Two figures appeared there and you could see them clearly as the green shimmer faded away.  There was no denying who the two men were.  Especially since one of them was still on the giant screen behind them. 

Thor and Loki.  

The two brothers couldn’t be more different, Thor hulking, blond, and bearing his trademark hammer.  Loki was slimmer, though no less muscled and raven haired.   Both were dressed in their armor with their capes of red and green.  

“Brother, why are we here?” Thor boomed, drawing any eyes that hadn’t already been on the pair.  There were very few pairs of eyes that hadn’t been on them.  Most everyone was taking out their cameras now to take pictures of the pair showing up in the middle of the Avengers movie screening.  Thor seemed surprised that Loki had teleported him here.  You hadn’t even known Loki was on the realm.  Last you had heard, he had been taken back to Asgard to face punishment for a crime that wasn’t his fault.  

So why was he here on Earth? And why was he here now in this movie theater?

“You saw my tattoo light up.  She’s here somewhere, Thor.  I have to find her,” Loki replied in what sounded like a panicked snarl.  Her.  He wanted to find his soulmate.  Fuck.  Not her. You.  He was desperate to find you.  You heard what sounded like disbelief in his voice, like he hadn’t believed that he would have a soulmate.

“And you brought me along because…?” Thor asked as he scanned the staring crowd.  All eyes and cameras were on the brothers.  The whispers were back and louder than ever and not a single person was paying attention to the movie, which kept playing in the background.  “And how do you know she’s here anyway?”

“I put a spell on the tattoo centuries ago to make sure I would know when it was activated.  And I brought you along because the mortals like you better, oaf.  I did not wish to start a panic.  Now stop scaring them and help me look for her-“ Loki growled at his idiot brother.  The pair were definitely brothers with how they interacted.  

“Oh shit.  It’s real…” Soph said from beside you, her eyes wide with shock.  You were sure your expression was just as shocked and stumped.  

You nodded dumbly.  You had no idea what to say.  Or what to do.  Not only were you Loki’s soulmate….somehow… but he was here and was looking for you.  It was only a matter of time before…

His eyes rose up the rows of seats and caught on you and the glowing mark on your arm.  You still weren’t sure what to do.  Or what to say.  How did you greet a strange god?  How did you greet your soulmate?

You forgot your phrase.  You’d come up with a stupid phrase to greet any stranger you came across, as everyone did.  You couldn’t remember what it was at the moment.  Whatever it was wouldn’t have been appropriate for meeting this soulmate.  Nothing you could say would be appropriate for meeting a god.

So what were you going to say?

Loki’s eyes lit on you and he strode with his patented murder strut up the aisles toward you and Soph.  You had to come up with something to say.  And fast.