#paul lahotexoc

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Five

Yours isn't the only way

It’s easy to be a better version of yourself when the path is clear in front of you. But for most people, you’re never really sure where you’re heading. Or your direction suddenly changes course and you’ve ended up in a completely different place than where you originally intended. You think light will help you see, a compass will keep you straight, and confidence will help keep you moving. But the light just shows more cracks along the way, and your compass turns out to be nothing more than crudely drawn arrows on your palm. And that confidence? Evaporated before the morning dew. Suddenly there are more shadows flitting in and out of your periphery in the trees and the path you thought you were on is not a path at all, just grass and twigs patched over in haphazard patterns from the chaos and misdirection of so many others before. So where do I go from here? 

Maya woke in the late morning light alone. She turned her head to look at the empty spot where Paul usually occupied and ran her hand across the flat sheets. Last night had been one of their least shiny moments to date, she had to admit. Maya replayed the look on his face as he turned to leave and swallowed hard. 

Bad. It had been all around bad. She let out a sigh that turned into a loud groan as she laid on her back and stared up at the ceiling. He hadn’t come home last night, and after absently checking her phone, she noticed he hadn’t texted her either. 

“Definitely mad,” she whispered aloud to herself as she rubbed her forehead. Sometime after Paul had stormed out, Maya had tired herself out pacing in anger. The anger had ebbed but the sour feeling at leaving something unresolved. Maya sat up and tied her hair back with the loose hair tie on her wrist before scooping Paul’s shirt off the floor and tugging it onto her body. She snatched her phone off the bed and headed downstairs to make some coffee, trying to sort out how she was going to fix all of this. 

The worst part of it all was that she didn’t fully understand why Paul was this mad. Sure, maybe Noah was into her, but did he really trust her that little to think that she would mess around? Maya pursed her lips as she watched the coffee pot slowly fill. Instead of waiting for her own mind to formulate some answer, she picked up her phone and navigated through her contacts. 

The phone rang a few times before she heard the groggy answer on the other line:

“What now?” Keye groaned. 

“What did you mean when you said I know what I do to guys? Including Paul?” Maya said quickly, her eyes trained to one specific spot on the backsplash above the kitchen sink. 

“My, it’s like 8 in the morning,” Keye yawned halfway through her sentence and when Maya didn’t answer, she sighed, “Uuugh, My I don’t know okay? I was hungover as fuck. Still am, what the hell did we even do!?”

“Keye.” Maya said. “You said I wouldn’t have done half the shit I did if Paul was there. What did you mean? Did I do something with Noah that I blacked out? Should I feel worse about this?” She asked seriously.

“No. Maya, you really shouldn’t. I said that because you were your same normal you and there’s nothing wrong with that. Were you flirty as fuck? Hell yes. Did you cross a line? Not in my opinion. But if Paul had been there he might have ripped Noah’s throat out.”

Maya squeaked a little in aggravation, pulling a coffee mug down and filling it to the brim. 

“Yeah, you’re going to have to squash that shit quick if you don’t want Paul’s possessiveness to run your relationship, babe” Keye said. Maya scrunched up her face at that. “Just saying.” Keye responded through a yawn as if she could see Maya’s face. 

“He’s on edge.” she replied tersely. 

“They’re always on fucking edge,” Keye quipped. Maya snorted a laugh before taking a sip of her coffee. “Set him straight, My. Remember when Becks was dating Tommy Saban? And he told her they weren’t going to the summer revival dance unless she promised to blow him after?” 

“So fucking gross,” Maya said under her breath. 

“Yeah. So she took him to the lookout point and got him caught with his pants down in front of the entire girls swim team.” Keye was laughing now. 

“She’s such a bad bitch,” Maya said with a smile. She missed her—her Becks. They had only had short phone conversations this spring as they had both focused on their finals—Becks being doubly preoccupied managing her pregnancy and Jacob’s helicoptering. 

“She really is. Point is, as much as you think Paul might be the one steering the ship, it’s actually you babe. I meant it when I said when all of this shit started that it’s terrifying the things he’ll do for you. Make him remember that.” Keye concluded. Maya sighed and rubbed her forehead. 

“You’re right,” she breathed. “He freaked out about this Noah shit and I just…Ugh, why are we so fucking out of sync all the time?” She knew the answer but didn’t want to voice it. 

“The distance thing really does seem to fuck with the imprint. Keeps Paul on edge more, plus he’s got that wicked anger from his past. Nothing you can’t handle, babe. Just make sure you do,” Keye continued after a breath, “Handle it.” 

Maya nodded and quickly said goodbye before pulling up Paul’s location on her phone. Ten minutes later, she was parked in front of Becks’ and Jacob’s brand new home. They were due to come in this afternoon and Maya was sure Jacob was eager to show her the progress on the house. 

Maya hopped down from her Jeep and shut the driver side door with a clack. She ran a hand through her roughly brushed out hair and took a deep breath before heading into the house. Most of the pack was there working as Jacob and Becks were due back that afternoon. She passed Colin who was working on the landscaping in the front yard. 

“Well, well, well, look who decided to show up,” he teased with a warm smile on his face. Maya rolled her eyes and gently nudged his shoulder as she walked by and into the house. 

Paul was in the backyard sanding cabinets down. He was shirtless and had his white t-shirt slung over his shoulder.

“Can I talk to you?” Maya asked, slipping her hands into her back pockets. Paul didn’t look at her but took out a rag to wipe the residual sawdust off. Maya sighed and looked down at her feet, “Paul, come on. This is so stupid,” she tried to keep the annoyed edge out of her voice. If she was going to apologize, she needed to do this right. 

“No, Maya. What you did was stupid,” he said nonchalantly, carrying on with his work and not meeting her eyes. Maya shut her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. 

“Stop.” she said firmly before opening her eyes and looking at Paul. Even now when she was so annoyed with him for the things he had said to her last night before taking off, she couldn’t help but be pulled to him. The hard lines of his body made Maya’s eyes race over each peck, each perfectly formed muscle. He was as beautiful as he was infuriatingly stubborn.

Paul stopped what he was doing as if subtly commanded to and his face fixed into a deep frown as he turned to look at her, pulling the gloves from his hands. 

“I’m sorry that what I did hurt you, Paul. But, it was also an accident, a mistake. I am allowed to make those mistakes. Just like you’re allowed to,” she said knowingly. Maya knew she could bring up the stuff with Rachel and all the ways he had hurt her too, but she wouldn’t. Instead, she took a step toward him, closing the distance as she placed a hand on his bare chest and gazed up at him. Paul pulled in a stiff breath and kept his lips pursed in a firm line. Maya had to stifle a giggle at his determination to be mad when he was clearly crumbling, “But I am very sorry that I hurt you. Very, very sorry Paul.” Maya said, her voice cracking lightly. That caught his attention and his eyes immediately darted to her mouth, “I’ve been looking forward to this summer with you. Please….please let’s not start it this way,” she pleaded with a small smile on her face as she watched his face morph into one of softness. She cupped his cheek in her other hand and he leaned into it slightly, unable to stop himself from wrapping an arm around her back and tugging her closer to him. 

After a beat, he said, “I’m sorry I freaked out. I didn’t mean to and the shit I said…” he sighed clearly irritated with himself, “Aside from those idiots in there,” he gestured with his glove toward the house where raucous laughter was booming out from the back door, “You are the only thing that matters to me. This shit is intense and you being so far away is…I don’t know, we don’t have to talk about all of that now, I just missed you and I freaked out. I’m sorry, too.” He conceded and Maya beamed now and he brought his face down to kiss her forehead. 

“Okay.” She let out a small laugh as he let her hand rub lightly across his jaw and rest at the nape of his neck. “Wow, it’s really that easy to get you to cave, huh?” He threaded his arm around her back and pulled her flush against his chest before lowering his lips down and hovering them teasingly across hers before saying in a low, gentle voice.

“But you have tell them,” his eyes were alight with mischief as they danced around her face watching her confusion tick into suspicion. 

“Tell them? Tell them what?” Maya asked, confused, her heart hammering in her chest in anticipation for Paul to seal his kiss. His other hand rubbed along her forearm that she had draped over his shoulder sending goosebumps down her arm. 

“I’m not going to be able to keep this to myself on rounds, so you tell them,” Paul said, nodding and brushing his nose against hers. Maya’s eyes went wide in annoyance.

“Unbeliev—,” she squeaked out before Paul brought his lips crashing down on hers and swallowed the rest of the word up in an earth shattering kiss that made her dizzy. Maya couldn’t help a soft moan from escaping her mouth and spreading into his as he anchored her so firmly, so confidently against him before pulling his mouth softly off of hers and then kissing her once more gently, with a featherlight touch that took her off guard for the size and strength of the this man that held her heart. When he finally stood straight and let her move from his grasp a little she narrowed her eyes. He gave her butt a couple of playful pats as she settled more firmly onto her feet and grabbed his safety glasses off the table before turning back to his work.

Maya groaned and rolled her eyes before she pulled out of his grasp completely to walk back toward the back screen door. She looked over her shoulder and shot back:

“You’re raking me over the coals because you’re embarrassed? Really?!” A small smile played at Paul’s lips and she could feel the heat rise to her face. “You’re an asshole,” she said before turning back toward the house and stomping up the back porch steps. 

“Hey!” she yelled as she crossed the threshold and clattered down the hallway. “Can you guys come here please?” She yelled. Quil was hand sanding the stair railing and looked at her with confused worry. 

“Everything okay?” he asked, glancing around her to see Paul still in the backyard, getting back to his sanding. 

“Yes,” Maya said between gritted teeth. “Hello?! Wolfpack!? I need all of you down here in the living room! For a very important announcement. NOW.” Her eye ticked in annoyance as she waited for them all to gather around her in the wide and empty living room. She stood by the bay window and even with most of them in the room, it felt close to bursting from their massive bodies. 

“What’s up? You okay?” Seth asked. Jared crossed his arms and waited expectantly. The only ones not there were Jacob and Sam and Jeremy. 

“Everything’s fine,” Maya said trying to relax her jaw, “Paul wants me to tell you all why I was late. Because he doesn’t want you to find out from him.” The wolves glanced at each other with confused looks on their face but Jared smirked and shook his head. He’d known Paul the longest in the pack, next to Sam. 

“Okay,” Embry said slowly. “Why were you late?” Maya took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. 

“Keye came out to New York on my last night and we went out with a bunch of people from my cohort. One friend in particular, Noah, who Paul does not like and says is very much ‘into me’ also came. We got really drunk. Like really drunk,” Maya said. Seth’s eyes went wide at this expecting the worst but she pushed ahead. This was so stupid, “And Keye and I got so drunk that I guess we decided to spend the night at Noah’s.” 

A few of them blew out low whistles. Jared let out a short barking laugh and Maya bristled a little. “Nothing. Happened.” She snapped, “We all fell asleep and I woke up at 9 the next morning and missed my flight. That’s IT. Totally innocent.”

The pack collective nodded at one another, some stared at their feet, and some mumbled in mild confusion as Maya looked around the group. 

“Any questions?” she snapped again, daring one of them to say something. The wolves looked around at one another again, their faces reserved, uncertain until—

They all burst into booming laughter, throwing their heads back in absolute glee. Maya’s eyes went wide in surprise and then she clenched her jaw. Jared clutched his stomach and Collin, Embry, Brady, and Quil were buckling over and bumping into one another in their shared glee. Maya let out a huff of annoyance waiting for them to calm down. Seth was covering his eyes and leaning against the banister trying to get it together. 

“Damn, didn’t realize you were such a stone cold player,” Collin wheezed with laughter. 

“Yeah, who said you could be such a heartbreaker with your “platonic” sleepovers?” Quil emphasized the word platonic before continuing to buckle over. 

“Out of all the things you could have done,” Jared managed, “You chose a sleepover with some math nerd and your best friend to tell us about?” Jared howled with laughter, clutching his stomach. 

“We knew you liked to push Paul’s buttons, but this..this Maya,” Embry shook as tried to stifle his giggling, “Is a new height for you,” he chastised sarcastically. Maya was clenching her fists at her sides and the heat was slowly rising to her face. 

“How could you?” Seth said, shaking his head in mock seriousness as tears of laughter twinkled in his eyes before Brady bumped into him. 

“Watch out everyone, we got a baddie out here breaking hearts and taking names,” Collin quipped. Maya was starting to bristle. 

“Okay, it’s not that fucking funny,” she quipped, but that only set them alight into new fits of laughter. Maya’s eyes widened, her annoyance starting to brim dangerously close to anger and she swatted at Quil who stumbled as he wiped tears from his eyes. 

“Alright, that’s enough,” a warm voice sounded from the back of the house and Maya could see Paul leaning against the doorframe of the back door with his arms crossed over his chest. His shoulders were shaking gently in laughter and Maya warmed at the sight. The pack dispersed, still tittering with laughter. Seth patted her shoulder as he walked past and got back to work to sanding and staining the bannister. Maya’s eyes were glued to Paul as he watched her wiping his hands off with a damp towel. He smiled at her softly and it sent her heart hammering in her chest again. She tried to hold back her smile but it broke through anyway and she shook her head at him. 

“I love you,” she mouthed at him. 

“Love you too,” he mouthed back. 

“Asshole,” she mouthed. Paul closed his eyes in gentle laughter before nodding his head and turning around to walk back to his project, giving her a wave over his shoulder. Maya rolled her eyes and turned around. There was enough to get done today without her sticking around for more ribbing from the pack anyway. 

“Bye, Seth,” she waved and he waved back. Just as Maya clomped down the front porch stairs, she nearly ran into Emily who was heading up the pathway. 

“Oh, Maya!” Emily’s eyes brightened with surprise as she juggled the bags of food. Maya immediately grabbed two off of her shoulder and heaved them onto her own. “Thanks,” Emily breathed a sigh of relief. “Here, come set these down,” she said as she walked into the house and toward the kitchen. Maya deposited the bags on the counter and started unpacking. “Thought I’d bring the boys some lunch since they’re almost done.” Maya nodded and started laying out sandwiches on the paper plates she brought. 

“Oh, that reminds me!” she said turning and starting to fill up cups with lemonade, “Becks’ baby shower.” 

“Oh,” Maya halted and went wide-eyed in surprise. “I…didn’t even think about that.” She felt the heat of embarrassment creeping up her neck as she internally berated herself for not even thinking about throwing her best friend a baby shower. 

“It’s okay,” Emily waved her hand, “We’ve still got time. She’s not due until July, but I’m thinking we should throw it as a surprise?” Maya nodded a little more enthusiastically. 

“Absolutely. Here?” 

“Yeah, I think she’d like that. So how about the end of May? Does the 25th sound okay to you?” Emily asked nonchalantly as she passed a plate to Embry piled high with two sandwiches, chips, quinoa salad, and some chopped vegetables. 

“Yeah, a week should be good to put something together for her. Thanks, Em,” Maya said, taking a bite of a chip. 

“Good. You okay?” she asked in that softly maternal, non-intrusive tone of hers. It made Maya warm just hearing it. 

“Absolutely,” she replied on an exhale. “Just getting back into the swing of things,” Maya motioned around herself and Emily let out a small laugh. 

“I’m sure it’s a pretty sharp contrast to what you’ve been used to, but we’re glad to have you home,” she said as she came around the counter to envelope her in a hug. Maya relaxed into it and hugged her back. 

“It’s fine really. I’m happy to be home. It just always just takes a second to adjust,” Maya laid her head on Emily’s shoulder as she gave her an extra squeeze before releasing her. Emily put both of her small hands on Maya’s cheek and beamed at her. 

“You’re doing something none of us have ever done. It’s bound to have its ups and downs. You’ll figure it out,” Emily said before dropping her hands from Maya’s face. Maya let out a slow breath before nodding. “And for everything else, we’ve got you. Anywho, I’ll send you a list of some party ideas and we can divvy up some tasks, gather decorations, all that good stuff, yeah?” 

“Sure thing, I’ll make a group chat.”

“Oh, perfect!” Emily said as if she hadn’t thought of that just yet. Maya already pulled out her phone and quickly added Keye, Kim, Sadie, and Emily before shooting a text to them. 

With another quick goodbye and a wave, Maya was out the door and feeling a little lighter than she had coming in. Becks and Jacob would be back in a matter of hours and Maya still had a lot to do prior to their homecoming. And now with the baby shower to plan, she was already beginning to feel a little bit back to normal. 

“Are we almost there?” Becks said, trying to tame the excitement in her voice. Jacob laughed lightly next to her in the driver's seat. 

“Almost, honey,” he replied. Becks felt them pull off from the smooth concrete highway to a somewhat bumpier dirt road. 

“Okay, good. Because I have gotta pee,” she smiled and touched the makeshift blindfold covering her eyes as she heard him chuckle warmly in response. She let her hand fall to rest absently on top of her stomach. Becks was rounding out seven months and felt it. Her doctor in Chicago had been pleased with her progress throughout the semester, tracking the baby at a little bit larger than usual into her third trimester, but overall she had managed it well. 

There were a couple of times during the spring semester that her doctor had told her to minimize her stress as much as she could, but with being pregnant, away from home, and dealing with school, that was a long shot. Jacob had increased his time out in Chicago after Becks had laughed over the phone about her doctor’s recommendation. He had already been out there a ton—staying three out of the five days usually—but by the end of the semester, he was only checking in at the rez every couple of days and not straying too far. 

Becks didn’t want to admit it, but it had helped having him there and having a place to go that wasn’t her dorm. Her roommate had been less than pleased to find out she’d be sharing a room with a pregnant teen this semester—something about cramping her style or head game Becks thought. When she’d left in January, she was determined to do this as much on her own as she could. She understood that now that Jake had decided to take over his rightful role as alpha, his attention would need to be divided. 

But still, that didn’t stop Becks from calling him late at night just to hear his voice, or beaming from ear to ear and choking back a sob when he’d show up the next day to ferry her from class to the tiny apartment where he’d run her a bath and rub her feet and ask about her classes. He was just always there exactly when she needed him. 

The little apartment just off campus that Jacob had secured for them was perfect. By the time spring break had rolled around, Becks had decided to stay there pretty much full-time, enjoying the relative quiet and shorter trip to the bathroom it afforded her. 

The car rolled to a gentle stop and Becks couldn’t help but smile. “Ready?” Jacob said. She nodded enthusiastically and he popped open his drivers side door. The familiar smell of home washed over Becks momentarily, giving her goosebumps—evergreens, wet earth, a hint of salt, and warm pine. Jacob was there in a flash, opening her door and holding both of her arms as he helped her out down from the car. Once on her feet, he wrapped his arm down around her back, and steered her slowly forward. 

Jacob had told her early on that he was building a home for both of them, but he’d kept the details pretty secret. Becks had been thrilled and overjoyed at the idea of a small little place to call their own. He’d told her she’d get to pick out some things once it was finished and had only asked her cryptically to choose between a few colors a couple of times. Whenever she tried to weasel more information though, he’d just give her his signature megawatt small and lean down to kiss her, sweeping most worries from her mind and temporarily making her head spin. 

“Soon,” he’d say, cupping her cheeks warmly between his large, soft hands. 

Now he’d positioned her ever so carefully on what Becks could feel was a stone walkway. Her breath hitched her throat in anticipation and she felt the baby shift inside her in response to her increased heart rate. 

“Okay,” Jacob breathed, positioning himself behind her, his hands on either side of her stomach. She could hear a hint of nervousness in his voice. “Welcome home, babe.” He pulled the blindfold off in one gentle moment and Becks eyes widened in surprise as she took in the sight. 

This was…not the little shack in the woods she was expecting. The big beautiful two story home could have been sparkling in the low light of the the late May sun, wide windows stretching across whole swaths of the house. Becks gasped and took an automatic step forward, tears already welling in her eyes. 

“Jacob!” she managed to gasp out with a squeak. “How did you—? When did you—?!” She was at a loss for words. Every little detail was accounted for, the small stone pathway dotted with flowers and ferns and garden lights leading up to wide, flat steps to an expansive poured concrete porch. A giant porch swing hung off to the right, it’s deep seat the size of a nearly a full bed and padded with a large linen cushion that could have been mistaken for a mattress. 

The large bright wood door stood out beautifully against the dark blue of the home, with dark iron accents that matched the address numbers displayed next to the front door. The home was nestled nicely against the tree line, giving it a cozy, protected feel and Becks was overcome with just how beautiful it was. If the outside of the house looked this nice, she could only imagine how beautiful the inside would look. 

“It took a lot of time, but I had a lot of help,” he said softly behind her, encasing her in his arms and splaying his hands across her belly as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. Becks automatically raised her hand to cup his cheek, her eyes still glued to the sight before her as tears clearly streamed down her round cheeks. 

“Jacob, I–” she hiccuped and felt him gently rub his large hands soothingly across her belly. “This is so beautiful. No one has ever done anything close to something like this before.” 

“I hope not, because I’d have to kick their butt,” he chuckled in her ear, that warm pleasing laugh that set her heart stuttering again. 

“You built me a house,” she said breathless, her eyes still roving over the place she’d get to call home from now on. 

“I did,” he said casually. “It was the least I could do, considering you’re building me a baby.” He stooped a little behind her to gather his hands underneath her belly and lifted gently, relieving some of the weight off of her lower back. Becks’ eyes fluttered closed momentarily and she let out an involuntary moan of relief before giggling. She loved it when he did that. 

“Do you want to see the rest?” he said low in her ear, making her shiver. She turned her head to meet his eyes, the warm chocolate brown of his irises instantly setting her at ease. Becks nodded slowly and he smiled before kissing the tip of her nose. “Come on then.” 

He led her forward, taking her hand and keeping his pace a little slower so she could keep up. Becks felt like a kid in a candy store. As she looked down at their joined hands, moving toward their house he had built for their family, she was nearly overcome. How had she gotten so lucky with destiny to be gifted this man (and this baby, even if the timing was a little off) so early in life? The imprint had been nothing short of a surprise, but she was so thankful for it everyday that she got to be with Jacob. And although she knew that some people around her thought she was giving up her dreams, Becks knew how she felt.

And there was nowhere else she’d rather be. 

Maya and Paul had driven up to Seattle so he could take care of a few things in jumpstarting timelines for projects he would pick up from his hiatus. Maya had also wanted to get a few things for the baby shower, seeing as the limited stock in Forks and even Port Angeles wasn’t going to cut the party prowess she was going for. 

They had arrived at the Bellevue shopping center around four and Maya had split off from Paul to go to a little baby boutique in search of the perfect gift for Becks. Paul had cited needing to talk to a shop owner here about some pieces he had commissioned and Maya had nodded distractedly before bounding off in search of the shop. 

Now as she rounded the inside of the little shop for the tenth, filled with unique toys and gorgeous handwoven blankets, she smiled. It was all starting to feel real—this baby she means—and the thought didn’t even terrify her anymore. 

When Becks and Jacob had showed up that evening after visiting the house, Becks had been absolutely aglow with excitement. Maya had squeezed her a tight hug before kneeling down to hug around her belly, squishing her cheek to the warm globe. Becks had laughed and Paul couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he watched Maya. When she had finally stood back up, Becks began to gush about the house and Jacob and Maya swelled with so much happiness she felt like she would burst. They had spent the rest of the evening tucked on the couch, online shopping for furniture, bedding, and cozy pillows before Jacob had ushered her upstairs to finally get some rest. 

Maya scanned the back wall of the baby boutique store, trying to hone in on the exact right thing to get Becks. She was distracted to say the least with her hands on her hips and her eyes analyzing each and every item to determine if it screamed “Baby Becks” to her or not. 

Just as she got to the end of her initial scan of items, she took a haphazard step back, still distracted by her utter concentration and bumped into a hard body. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Maya said gently, her eyes not fully connecting with the person she had bumped into before her eyes landed on the perfect bassinet. “Oh,” she said softly. The woman she bumped into waved her off politely and moved down onto another section, unperturbed and allowing Maya to fully indulge in the item before her.

The bassinet was a gorgeously woven basket affixed to sturdy, dark wood cherry legs. The basket was dark blue and white, woven with intricate patterns that reminded her of the quilts her mother made her growing up. The handles were expertly sown dark leather and the bassinet could easily be turned into a carrying basket if needed. 

“Perfect,” she said to herself with a wide smile. She knew Becks would love it and just as she went to lean down and grab the large box it came in, a warm hand snaked around her waist. Maya glanced up quickly and smiled at Paul. 

“Hey,” he said almost a little breathless, his shoulders tense.  

“Hey, look at this! Isn’t it perfect?” Maya pointed to the bassinet as Paul tugged her a little closer to him before looking at the bassinet and nodded his head.

“Yeah, it’s great. Are you ready?” his eyes darted around the store and Maya quirked an eyebrow at him. 

“You okay?” she said with a small laugh. Paul squeezed her hip gently and gave a weak smile. 

“Yeah, just ready to get you home,” he said softly. “You want to get that for her then?” he nodded to the bassinet.

“Yes! I have a few other things behind the counter already too,” Maya said with excitement. She wasn’t sure why he was so tense but it didn’t dampen her mood. He leaned forward to grab the box with one hand while slipping his other hand into hers. Paul tugged her toward the checkout counter, his eyes glancing around at the customers. Maya watched as he let his eyes rest on an infant in a stroller just ahead of them in line, a nervous grimace settling on his face. Maya swallowed a giggle and bit her lip. He looked positively blanched and uncomfortable. 

After checking out with a small fortune of baby gifts and decorations, Paul helped haul it to the car with Maya in tow. Safely tucked into the front seat, Paul shut his door and let out a long breath. 

“I’ve never seen you like that,” Maya teased. He looked over at her, his face confused before she continued, “Do babies make you nervous or something?” Maya let out a little laugh and Paul closed his eyes tight and grinned broadly before turning the key over in the ignition. He let out a relaxed laugh as they pulled onto the main road before saying:

“Yeah, I forgot to mention, kids actually freak me out a little,” he glanced over at her, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “The sticky hands and pudgy fingers and toes. All those rolls?” 

“Totally logical fear, I get it,” Maya said, nodding and looking out the window. Paul put a hand on Maya’s thigh and squeezed. She looked over at him and smiled. 

“Hey, how about we take a trip?” Paul suggested. 

“Hmm?” Maya’s eyes widened in excitement. 

“Yeah, you and me, off the rez for a little bit, and somewhere new. Just for a week and maybe around your birthday?” his smile was growing wide and warm. Maya’s heart fluttered. 

“Do you think that’d be okay? I mean Becks is due in July, that might be cutting it kind of close,” Maya pondered. Paul shook his head and continued:

“Becks will be fine and we’ll go in enough time so we won’t miss anything. What do you think? Just you and me?” he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. Maya nodded enthusiastically and gave an excited squeal. 

A week-long getaway for her birthday with the man of her dreams? Absolutely. Maya’s mind already began turning over with ideas of where they could reasonably go for a week and get as far away from the rez as possible. 

Maya loved her home, but she also loved the way her and Paul were more easily able to relax completely into the imprint when they weren’t there. Paul, always stressed with rounds, new threats, council demands, or helping guide his brothers was always a staple in their relationship. But outside of the rez, without the demands and the constant need to check in through the link, Paul was able to be more himself with Maya—the semi-stable, high-end carpenter that had plans and dreams and a life filled with love to lead.

The absence of Maya during the school year only laid bare how the stress of everything on the rez was taking its toll on him. Maya put her hand over his and squeezed it before smiling at him. 

“Just us,” she said softly. Because there wouldn’t always be a “just them” in the future. Whether it was their family, the pack, or whatever other demands destiny wrought upon them—Maya would forever lunge at the chance to seek some small aspect of normal in their increasingly abnormal life. Even just for a week. 

Maya was putting the finishing touches on the mantel as Becks finished getting ready upstairs with Keye when the doorbell rang. Excitedly, Maya bounded toward the front door of Becks and Jacob’s home, her long light off the shoulder blue sundress, dotted with white flowers and a dreamy slit edged with lace that ended mid thigh billowed out around her. When she pulled the heavy wooden door open, she beamed. Emily, her four beautiful children in tow, Kim, and Sadie greeted her happily. Emily touched the delicate baby’s breath carefully placed in Maya’s half updo and smiled. 

It was not long after that that the house was brimming and bustling with excited chatter from tons of friends and family mulling around the house and exclaiming at the woodwork as Becks proudly showed them around. 

The house was a little more furnished after Becks had settled into full on nesting mode. But Maya had made sure to bring over extra chairs and seating from the council meeting house since the rest of the furniture wouldn’t arrive before the baby shower. Maya had wonderfully decorated with cuttings from the ferns and evergreens that swathed the backyard in gloriously green filtered light. She hung simple streamers, hanging stars, and twinkle lights to give the home a cozy, bright feel. 

Before the pack had left for cliff diving that morning, at Maya’s direction, they had freshly tilled a fresh ring of dirt in the backyard and lined it carefully with garden rocks, driftwood, and a few garden lanterns. Maya had set out cartons of dahlia’s, wildflowers, poppies, and lilacs for guests to plant while they were there as a collective house/baby gift to Becks.

After a couple of hours, the gifts were piled high on the foyer table from the pack, Becks’ family, the council, and friends. Becks sat pride of place in the high backed rattan rocking chair Paul had made for her that week. Maya excused herself to the kitchen to put together more snacks and watched happily as Becks laughed with friends and family gathered around her, a hand placed lovingly over her stomach. After refilling snacks in the living room in front of Becks and making sure she had enough water, Maya took a break from the chaos in the open-facing kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. 

She leaned against the kitchen counter watching the festivities unfold as a group of women popped celebratory poppers in the backyard to the delighted squeals of Emily’s kids, while others were crouched around the garden beds carefully planting the flowers. Keye sauntered in and hopped up on the counter before popping some blueberries into her mouth from a glass bowl.

“It’s wild huh?” Keye said. “Our best friend is about to have a baby. We’re still babies.” She said in a far off voice. Maya hummed her agreement and shook her head. 

“It’s bound to keep happening. I’ve found that the longer I worry about change happening, the faster it tends to come. It’s probably easier if we just,” she looked over her shoulder at Keye, “Roll with it.” 

Over the past week leading up to the baby shower, Maya couldn’t shake some sense of nervousness, like the other shoe was about to drop but there wasn’t anything to indicate something bad was actually about to happen. On the contrary, things were going exceedingly well. She’d spent a whole day with her mother off the reservation—something they hadn’t done in a long time together—and Maya had treated her to a shopping spree courtesy of Paul’s black card. They’d met up with her dad for dinner and things had felt more normal than they’d ever been, considering the previous rift. 

Maya and Paul had fallen back into a good rhythm, his mood evening out the longer she was there. Even his packmates–Seth in particular—had admitted to Maya how much happier Paul was just knowing she was back at home waiting for him after rounds. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, her proximity was intimately tied to Paul’s wellbeing. 

Each time he came home from rounds or deliveries or even just working out in his workshop in the backyard, he’d wrap Maya up in a warm hug, his large arms dwarfing her and making her feel delicate. He’d lower his head to his favorite spot in the crook of her neck and inhale, breathing her in. Or, he’d take a moment to kiss the top of her head and just hold her there as if he was still surprised she was standing in front of him. Maya would revel in these moments, placing both of her hands on the back of his neck and kiss from the side of his face to his neck, whispering lovingly into his ear. 

Still, something within her stayed on alert. She chalked it up to paranoia or the impending birth of her best friend’s baby that would change everything. But still, that nagging feeling wouldn’t dissipate. She took another sip of wine, her eyes flitting toward the sound of Becks’ twinkling laughter. She looked so happy—happier than maybe Maya had ever seen her. Her heart swelled with emotion just at the sight. How could she be anything but overwhelmingly happy for her best friend? Becks was the kindest, bravest, and sweetest person she knew. She deserved everything happy and right in this world that they shared. Maya made a mental note to never doubt her best friend ever again—no matter the situation. 

“How’s Jake been through all of this?” Miranda, one of Maya’s mother’s friends asked Becks in the living room. A group of them had been gathered around Becks sharing firstborn tips and advice for the past hour. Maya perked up at the question and walked over to stand just outside the circle of chairs, wine glass filling her hand.

Becks let out a happy sigh and closed her eyes for a moment, “He’s honestly been incredible. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this semester without him,” she said to the “awws” and tuts of approval around her, “He was out there every week. He even rented a little apartment just outside of the city that I could stay at on the weekends and sometimes during the week when he was there. It was such a relief to get a break from campus sometimes.” 

“I’m surprised he was even willing to let you go in the first place,” Elder Mila interjected. Maya grimaced and quickly swallowed a gulp of wine. Becks smiled gently at Elder Mila before saying: 

“He respected what was important to me at the time…And we made it work. I honestly think he would have been out there with me more if his responsibilities here weren’t so important. But even since we got back to the rez, he’s been very attentive,” she laughed a little at this. “I can’t even reach up to get a glass in the cupboard without him reaching around me and getting it for me,” she joked. The women around her smiled as if remembering some similar memory they all shared, “Still, it’s very very sweet.” She ran a hand over her belly. “We’re lucky he’s ours.” Becks said to her stomach. 

“Gosh, I remember how Sam was with our first, too. He was everywhere all of the time. I thought he was going to have a heart attack every time I tried to climb the stairs by myself,” Emily giggled. Becks smiled so wide. 

“Exactly! I might as well be made of glass. Sometimes, he just scoops me up and carries me up the stairs anyway. Which, honestly, I do not mind the break for my feet,” Becks said sweetly. Maya smiled around her glass of wine. 

The party wound down naturally over the next hour or so and Maya and Keye began cleaning up just as the pack showed up. They descended on the leftover snacks, hoovering up the remaining sandwiches, meats and cheese, and fruit. They all smelled like damp earth and sea salt, their bodies already having evaporated any moisture. 

Paul popped a grape into his mouth and patted Maya’s hip as Brady continued to regale them all with their cliff diving stories. Kim and Sadie were laughing as they took down some of the decorations and placed them neatly into a storage container. 

Becks sat at one of the high-backed stools facing the kitchen island as Maya washed off some dishes in the sink, handing them to Keye who slotted them into the new dishwasher. The room was buzzing with warmth and happiness and Maya watched as Jacob leaned down to kiss the side of Becks’ head and whisper something in her ear that made her smile, her eyes closed in delight. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and held onto her stomach gently. They were the picture of happiness and Maya’s heart stuttered a little bit. 

“Can we open presents now?” Luca whined as he and his younger brother picked through the pile of presents on the low foyer table in the front hall. Emily shifted her son Arlo higher up on her hip. 

“Those are Aunt Becks’ presents, Luca. She’ll open them when she’s ready. We need to get home and start bedtime soon, anyway,” she chided. Sam sauntered over and scooped up the younger of the two into his arms as he squealed in delight. Luca let out a long whine in protest and Becks turned from her seat in the kitchen.

“How about I open just one and you get to pick it out?” she offered. Luca immediately brightened and set to work deciding on the best one. “Thank you so much again for putting this on for me,” Becks said. 

“Emily was the one who reminded me that this was something you do,” Maya admitted bashfully. 

“But you’re the one who put this whole thing together in under a week,” Emily replied. 

“Regardless, thank you all so much, this means the world and I just—,” Becks choked up a little and had to pause. Jacob was smiling and chuckled a little. He’d watched her mood swings up close and personal for the past 6 months so this was nothing new, “Sorry,” Becks said as she swallowed hard as Jacob wipes the tears from her cheeks. 

Maya couldn’t help but laugh a little and shake her head, “Of course, Becks. We love you. What are friends for, babe?” 

“This one!” Luca appeared next to Becks holding a carefully and beautifully wrapped gift. It was expertly wrapped with silver wrapping paper, embossed with intricate patterns that glittered as you rolled it in the light. The exquisitely soft ribbon was like silver liquid. 

“Wow,” Becks said. 

“Who’s that from?” Maya was drying her hands off on a dish towel, her brow furrowed. She didn’t remember seeing such an expensive looking gift amongst the pile of homemade wrapping paper and bags overflowing with warm colored tissue paper. Paul was standing next to Maya, his hand on her lower back as he leaned on his elbow on the counter, his eyes also looking at the package curiously. 

“I dunno,” Becks said as she carefully unwrapped the gift. Jacob was just as curious as Becks at this point. Once the ribbon fell away, the package nearly unwrapped itself in one beautiful unsheathing motion. 

Becks opened the rectangular box to reveal a beautiful dark leather bound photo album, embossed with the gold lettering: The Black Family. Becks gasped. The leather album was beautiful and felt like butter in her hands. She ran her hand across the cover and carefully opened it. There was a small envelope tucked inside and Becks was quick to open it. 

“Who—” She began, but then she read the delicate lettering, inked in careful script:

"Congratulations. We are so incredibly happy for you. In every stage of life, one often looks back before moving forward. See you soon."

The color instantly drained from Jacob’s face as he listened to Becks read the note, already knowing by the intricate family crest that graced the front of the card who it was from: the Cullens. His hand gripped the back of Becks’ chair so hard that he cracked the wood, causing Becks to jump and look at him with a concerned look. 

“What is it?” she said in a soft voice.

“No way,” Jared said, his voice tinged in anger. Jacob was trying very hard not to see red at this moment. The space around them suddenly felt too open, too exposed and Jacob wanted to shield Becks with his large frame. 

“Jacob,” she said, bringing a hand to his cheek. He had been looking at her the whole time but not focused on her face, a flash of sadness moved over his eyes before he snapped back to it, standing straight. 

“I did pick up a scent in Seattle earlier this week when Maya and I were there,” Paul said firmly, arms crossed over his chest. 

“What?” Maya replied incredulously. Paul glanced at her quickly, his face unreadable stone before training his eyes back to Jacob. 

“How many?” Jacob asked, between gritted teeth. Paul shrugged. 

“Hard to say considering how many people were around, but more than one I’d guess,” Paul confirmed. 

“Was that why you wanted to get out of there so quickly?” Maya asked, but Quil interjected over her: 

“Do you really think it’s them coming to town?” 

“Or moving back,” Embry stated. 

“They’ve barely been away long enough to have everyone forget them. It can’t just be because of Jacob can it?” Jared asked, confused. 

“The card doesn’t necessarily mean they’re coming back for good,” Maya said, her eyes glued to Becks who was staring down at the card again, her face a mask of confusion. 

“What exactly do you think ‘See you soon’ means?” Jacob’s voice was thick with sarcasm. Maya bristled at that but swallowed her angry retort. 

“It means maybe they just want to see you and Becks…and the baby,” A low growl sounded in Jacob’s chest. “You said they were friendly, right? And you were close to Bella—”

“That doesn’t mean they don’t want something from me! From all of us. And I get to choose who is a part of my family’s life. They’re not owed it,” Jacob’s voice rose and Maya turned to stone. 

“Hey,” Paul said, “Take it easy. Maya’s probably right. They’re probably just curious.” 

“They’re not setting foot near my family!” Jacob seethed now. Embry put a hand on his shoulder to help calm him but his breath was coming in fast now and Maya automatically took a step back. Paul took a small step in front of her instinctually.

“We won’t let them. You know that,” Paul said in a low, calm voice. Jacob shut his eyes tight and nodded before steadying himself. 

“I want to up our rounds, and pull round the clock watch on our perimeter until further notice,” Jacob said looking at each of his brothers. They all nodded as if they had a choice, but still they looked determined. Paul’s eyes met Maya’s and he looked tired. She gave him a sad, but reassuring smile and nodded at him. 

More rounds meant less time together for the foreseeable future and that was already enough of a hurdle during the school year. But she was home, so at least the physical distance wouldn’t affect Paul as much. At least she hoped. 

“Jacob,” Becks said gently. His mouth was set in a hard line and his eyes were almost black with anger. He cupped her face in his wide hands and swiped his thumbs across her cheeks. 

“I’ll keep you safe,” he said gently. She shook her head at him almost imperceptibly, but as she opened her mouth to speak, he looked over her head and at his packmates. “Jared, Quil, and Embry, can you take the northeast perimeter? Seth, take the others along the northwest. Paul,” he dropped his hands from Becks face and turned toward him, “Can you do a sweep of the south corners this evening? I’ll join you in about an hour,” he said firmly. 

Paul nodded curtly, “I want to get her home first, is that okay?” He nodded toward Maya. 

“Of course,” Jacob confirmed. “Come on, honey.” He said to Becks as he gently tugged her down out of the chair. Jared, Seth, and the others were confabbing with Sam as Emily rubbed her eyes tiredly and started shuffling her kids toward the door. Sadie and Kim kissed Becks on the cheek as Jacob walked her toward the stairs and waved sadly at Maya as they helped Emily out the door. 

“I don’t need an escort, babe. You can go,” Maya said as Paul blew out a low breath and took a step toward her. He wound his hands down onto her hips and tugged her close, pressing his chest against hers as he kissed her forehead. 

“Noted, let’s go,” he motioned toward the front door. 

“Keye, you coming?” Maya said as she looked over her shoulder. Keye was looking at her phone. 

“Nah, my presence has been requested here,” she pointed toward the stairs. “Baby watch.” Maya smiled tightly and said, 

“Call me if you need anything.” Paul shuffled her out the door and toward her Jeep. Maya went along with him, placing her hand over his that held tightly to her hip. He guided her protectively toward the car as if something would jump out at any moment and snatch her.  

Once she was safely tucked in the car and on the short 10-minute drive home, Maya broached the topic carefully: 

“Is this really bad? The Cullens coming back?” she said softly. Paul’s face looked worn and tired, his eyes trained to the road and darting at the tree line. 

“Depends,” he said cryptically. 

“On what?” Maya probed. 

“The last time they were here a war almost broke out. It depends on if they’re actually coming back and for how long,” he said slowly, “But that’s not even the worst part.” Maya waited patiently for him to continue, “More vampires in the area means the potential for more kids phasing.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “The need to protect the tribe will be triggered. And the last thing we need is more kids getting drawn into this and having their lives changed forever.” 

Maya could see the anger tensing his shoulders, the vein pulsing in his neck. “Let’s take it one step at a time,” Maya soothed. 

Paul pulled into their driveway soon after and shut the car off. He didn’t immediately get out though and Maya’s hand hesitated over the door handle as she looked over at him. 

“What is it?” she asked, a nervous tinge to her voice. 

“I need you to listen to me,” he said in a low voice. 

“What do you—” she began but he cut over her, turning sideways to look upon her full force. 

“I need you to listen to me when I ask you stay put or go to Emily’s or watch over Becks. I need to keep you safe and I can only do that if you listen to me,” he was nearly pleading with her, but the demand was clear in his tone. The fire was alight in his eyes and Maya’s mouth parted in subtle surprise. “Do you understand?” 

Maya watched him carefully for a moment. He looked…terrified. As if this was the first time he truly had something to lose. She nodded slowly. 

“Maya,” he said firmly, prompting her to answer. 

“Yes, babe, I hear you. I’ll listen,” she reached over and grabbed his hand. He squeezed her hand and nodded. 

“Let’s go inside, I’ll need to leave pretty quick but I want to make sure everything’s good before I go.” He popped open the door and Maya followed, bundling her dress up into her hand to help her quickly make her way to the front door. 

Once inside, he kissed the side of her head and said “Wait here” before he hurried off toward the backyard, flipping on lights as he went and glancing around as if an intruder would pop out from behind the couch. Maya blew out a breath and put her purse on the entryway table before pulling her phone out. 

A new text from Becks was waiting and Maya opened it, glancing up to make sure Paul was still preoccupied with his sweep of the house. 

From: Becks–7:42 p.m.Are you on lockdown? 

From: Maya–7:55 p.m.What do you think?

B: Jesus, I’m sorry. Jacob is being really intense about this. 

M: Paul said something about a war last time the Cullens were in town. Do you know anything about that? 

B: A war? No. He hasn’t mentioned anything. But he’s really shaken up and I don’t want to push it. Do you think Paul would let you come over tomorrow? 

M: Yeah, the protection around your place is probably going to be the highest anyway. I’ll ask, but we’re safest on the rez so I’m sure he’s not going to care. 

B: Thanks. I’m just…a little worried and wanted to run something by you. 

M:Sure. You okay? 

B: Yeah, absolutely, just would rather talk about it in person. Thank you for today though, it was amazing. 

M: You’re welcome babes. I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell Keye I said goodnight. 

Maya looked up as she heard Paul clamber down the stairs toward her. He reached around her and locked the front door. 

“All clear?” Maya teased. Paul gave her a firm look and pulled her closer. 

“Stay put tonight,” he reminded, brushing some hair away from her face. She nodded. 

“Got it. Hey, Becks just texted me and asked if I could come keep her company tomorrow. That’s okay, right?” she placed a hand on his chest and leaned forward to kiss her mouth softly before saying, 

“Of course. You can be over there as much as you want. I’ll swing by to take you in the morning.” 

“I think I can make it over there fine, Paul,” she said gently, but heaved a sigh when she saw the look on his face. 

“I’d feel better taking you,” the look in his eye told her it was easiest to just say yes. Plus, she knew she’d get limited time with him this week with the increased rounds, so any excuse to spend more time with him was worth it. 

“Fine, I’ll be ready by 9 tomorrow, okay?” she looped her arms up around his neck and he responded by dipping his head down to more easily connect his mouth with hers, flooding her nose with his warm, musky scent and making her squeeze her thighs together. When he pulled back, she said dreamily, “Can you stay for just 20 more minutes?” 

He raised his eyebrows and laughed, that half hooded look of lust in his eyes as well. “I wish I could, but I’m already late as it is. I would have loved to peel this little sundress off of you though.” His index finger traced under the thin spaghetti strap and pushed it down her arm to kiss along her shoulder. Maya huffed out a wanting breath. She could already feel the ache between her legs growing. But all too quickly, he stood straight and pushed a small millimeter of space between them. “I gotta go,” he said in a gruff tone. Maya whined and flopped her head onto his chest. “I’ll see you in the morning, baby.” he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head before he took a step back and helped her stand up straight. “Remember—”

“Stay put, I got it Paul,” she groaned. He smiled and kissed her one last time before turning to leave out of the backdoor. Maya crossed her arms and watched him disappear down the dark path and into the forest. 

So much for getting back to normal. She thought. 

Next chapter > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Four

In over your head

Do you ever feel like a slingshot? Because I feel like one a lot lately. The thing about slingshots is they’re useful, right up until they're not. But the thing I identify with most is the potential of a slingshot. Its inherent use is obvious whether it’s being pulled taut, loaded with something to launch, or sitting empty somewhere. But lately, I feel like the latter version. I feel empty, but built with so much potential and care that it seems like such a waste. How do I shake this feeling? How do I reclaim the version of myself that feels most useful? Ready to launch and exceed my own expectation of how far I can make things go. Pulled tight, and overstretched but so fantastically full with purpose and determination. I don’t know, I suppose that might sound a little weird, but it makes sense to me. I’m a slingshot, I’ve just got to find that missing piece of me.

Maya made it through her last final by the skin of her teeth. The last few weeks of the semester had been a blur after her scare in the infirmary and if she was being honest with herself, she’d never really been able to shake it off. She had successfully been able to quell Paul’s concerns when she lied and said she thought she had strep, brought on by the unrelenting stress of finals. He had conceded and the next day, a care package had shown up at her dorm filled with vitamin C packets, a heated blanket, weighted neck pillow, her favorite snacks, and a carefully carved wolf figurine. That one had made her smile. And then the smile had faltered and Maya had felt nauseous all over again.

Something still hadn’t sat right with Maya over lying to Paul about the pregnancy scare, but she knew she didn’t want to tell him over the phone where she wouldn't be able to read his face. If she was being honest, she’d even say she was a little embarrassed by all of this, but couldn’t fully pinpoint the reason why. She’s sure it had to do with the fact that this was entirely ironic. What if she had gotten a positive test result back? What then? She knew Becks would never say a word against her, but still, Maya felt a little ashamed with how she had reacted to Becks’ pregnancy and she had almost been put in the line of fire herself. And then there was…a confusing air of disappointment.

Maya had pushed that feeling so far down so as not to have to deal with its confusing effects during her finals, but now, as she packed her suitcases and filled some boxes with the bits she’d gathered during her semester, it began to bubble up again.

Why in the world should she feel disappointment? The thought raged in her head as she tried to focus on folding and pressing her t-shirts into her suitcase. It’s not like she wanted to be pregnant—far from it. Maya knew she wasn’t ready for that and she still had dreams and things she wanted to do first. They were on the same page about that. But still..it left a tiny dime sized hole in the pit of her stomach, and the ache that usually pulsed as a reminder of her imprint squeezed around that empty feeling until her head would start to ache.

Maya brought a hand to her forehead and checked for a fever. Maybe she was just getting sick and this feeling was merely a delusion of that. She felt relatively cool, but how she was to know. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and Maya slipped it out and quickly opened the email notification from Paul with her flight details. She smiled at the short note in the email from him:

Can’t wait to have you back with me.

She sent a quick reply of “Can’t wait to be back with you,” before adding the notification of her early morning flight to her calendar and packing in earnest now. This feeling would ebb and she would feel whole again once she was back home and with Paul, she knew it. Beez was already out ferrying her stuff to the mailroom to ship back home, so when Maya heard a quick succession of knocks on her dorm room door, she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

When she pulled it open, she had no time to react before a bright, warm body was hurtling into her arms with a squeal.

“KEYE?!” Maya yelled as she inhaled the familiar scent of her friend’s shampoo and wrapped her arms around her. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” Keye was laughing and swinging Maya from side to side. When she pulled back to look at her, her eyes were bright with excitement and Maya immediately felt that empty hole shrink. Keye was a bit of home.

“Surprise! I thought I’d come celebrate the end of your laborious finals with you!” she replied with a sound of delight as she clapped her hands together.

“But what..how did you? But you have school!” Maya nearly scolded. She was so happy Keye was here and her own excitement was plain on her face as she held onto her friend's hand. Keye shrugged.

“UW let out a few days ago and I was just putzing around the rez, so! HERE I AM! In the big apple and ready to party, bitch!” Keye walked deeper into Maya’s dorm scanning the contents of the room with a discerning eye. Her eyes landed on the stack of boxes in the corner and she shook her head.

“But how did you get here?” Maya continued, coming to stand beside her friend.

“Psh, what do you think?” She replied, hands on her hips and mirroring Maya’s posture just moments before. “Paul.” She said simply. “He texted me a couple of days ago and asked if I wanted to go out and see you, help bring you back. Said you had been so stressed with finals that you’d nearly made yourself sick,” at this she wagged her finger at Maya disapprovingly before continuing, “And thought I’d be a great little treat for you. So sweet,” she concluded with a knowing grin. Maya rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the rush of warmth that filled her now. It’s like he’d known she was missing a piece and he’d tried to fill it the best way he could.

Maya smiled and nodded. “Very sweet,” she confirmed as she looked at her boxes.

“What the fuck are we supposed to do with all of this then?” Keye blurted out. Maya laughed, thoroughly glad for the company.

“That’s the last one,” Keye said as she huffed and heaved another box up onto the mailroom counter. It had taken them two trips with the dolly to get all of Maya’s things here and both girls were completely out of breath at this point. Yeah, next semester, she was not bringing this much stuff. Which wouldn’t be too hard to do, she thought, because she had the option of living off campus or in the sophomore suites next year. Maya hadn’t quite decided what she wanted yet. Paul was obviously keen on the idea of her living off campus where he could come and stay with her whenever he liked, but Maya still thought being close to her cohort would be the best while she was out here on her own.

She shrugged off the thought for now, not needing to dwell on it for the next couple of months at least and smiled at the student attendants behind the counter.

“Where to?” A befreckled boy asked, as he poised his pen over the clipboard.

“La Push, Washington,” Maya said, her voice drenched in contentment.

After filling out the postage for each box and sliding her black card to pay for the exorbitant shipping fee, Maya and Keye walked arm and arm into the fresh spring air that was mingling with the teasing warmth of summer. They were all smiles, giggling at nothing and everything as they talked, making their way across campus.

Maya could almost feel the weight of this semester roll off her shoulders under the pleasing May sun and as they sauntered across the quad, Keye asked, “So, what do we do for our last night as free women in this big ole city? Because I think—”

“HEY! MAYA!” Maya’s head shot up and she watched with a smile as Noah jogged toward them with an equally pleased smile.

“Oh…my,” Keye said with a hungry edge to her voice.

“What?” Maya asked, confused, but it was too late to confer as Noah was already in front of them, all smiles and giving off a sweet musk mixed with an earthier cologne that made Maya raise an eyebrow.

“Hey, you all packed?” He asked between breaths. Keye was definitely staring. Maya had never thought Noah was exceedingly handsome, not like Paul, but she could see the appeal now with Keye giving him an appreciative look.

“Uh, yeah, just dropped it off at the mailroom. This is Keye, she’s my best friend from La Push,” Maya motioned to Keye who had already unthreaded her arm and was running a hand through her chopped hair and putting on her megawatt smile. Noah turned to Keye as if noticing her for the first time and beamed back holding out his hand.

“Noah,” he said confidently. When Keye took his hand he said, “Wow, the genetics running around La Push are gorgeous. Someone should really do a study.” Keye laughed at this as she continued to shake his hand. Maya bit her lip and had to stifle a laugh. Was Keye really interested in him? Well, Keye was interested in everyone to be fair. “So, when do you head out?” Noah said, finally letting Keye’s hand fall and turning his interest back to Maya.

“Early,” Maya sighed, “Tomorrow morning.”

“So you have one last night of debauched fun, then,” He said with almost a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Keye whooped and turned to Maya with an eager smile. Maya groaned but she realized she was smiling.

“I guess,” she bemoaned sarcastically as her smile stretched wider across her face.

“YES! But first, I was promised the most delicious deli sandwich ever.” Keye fist pumped the air and slotted her hand into Noah’s tugging him toward the quad and he followed her eagerly.

Maya, Keye, and Beez were chatting loudly as they ascended the stairs from the subway station into the warm night air. They were greeted at the top by some other friends from Maya’s cohort, as well as Noah, who gave her a warm smile and tugged her into a quick hug. Keye looked bemused at them before they all quickly conferred on their first stop that evening and headed down the sidewalk. A pack of engineering and math students now free of the shackles of the semester were ready to welcome summer with open arms. Maya couldn’t remember the last time she could breathe this easy.

With most of her outfit choices packed away and sent home, Maya had opted for her tightest pair of jeans that hugged her ass perfectly and a cropped black top that dipped so low in the front that the top of her black lace bralette was easily on display. She’d taken some extra time to do her hair that evening and it shimmered under the lamplights in soft, silky waves down her back. She’d even let Keye line and fill in her lips so that they looked more pouted than usual, finishing it off with an expert, delicate winged eyeliner and a touch of mascara.

The night held promise—the promise of summer, the promise of a good time, and even the promise of a neat end, tied up into a bow and ready to blow Maya back to the west coast. She was ready to lose herself in the laughter and chat of her friends tonight, letting the first year of college sink into her completely and color her into something new and experienced before heading back to the undoubtedly drama-filled summer that La Push would certainly deliver.

But for now, the night was new and the lights and sounds of this city that Maya had come to love and claim as her own settled and hummed against her skin. As they poured through the doors of their first bar that evening, the music shaking the walls and the lights strobing off the center of a dance floor, she was greeted with the vibrant voices of her friends yelling:

“Shots! Shots!”

Keye squealed with delight and tugged Maya toward the bar before everything dimmed deliciously around her and almost faded completely into black.

Maya slowly opened her eyes to the sound of rough grinding construction ringing out of the cracked window to her left. The room was swathed in bright light around her as she put a hand to her throbbing forehead, letting out a long breath trying to quell the pounding ache that was building around her temples.

Birds chirped animatedly between the hammering and clanging of the construction outside and Maya opened her mouth as if to call out to Paul and tell him to keep it down. It was way too early for him to be carrying on like that and she wasn’t even entirely sure how he could make that much noise in his small workshop. The sound of concrete drill rattled to life against some pavement and Maya’s eyes sprang open, focusing on the ceiling above her.

Not home. Her mind confirmed quickly.

Suddenly, Maya felt the shift of an arm underneath the pillow she laid on and she turned her head to see Noah asleep a couple feet from her on his back, one arm slung over his eyes and the other tucked under the pillow beneath her head. Maya’s breathing picked up. She was at Noah’s. Why was she at Noah’s? She lifted her head to look down at herself expecting the worst but she was fully clothed and upon second glance, so was Noah.

Maya lifted her head to see Keye tucked between her and Noah, her head at the foot of the bed and her mouth gently parted in sleep. Her eyes shot around the room as she sat up, trying to recall the night that had led to her and Keye ending up here.

Somewhere between their third and fourth bar is when she lost track of the evening. She recalled at one point hopping onto Noah’s back after stumbling so much that he insisted he carry her. As she clung to him piggyback style down the streets of New York, he had planted his hands firmly beneath her thighs as she leaned her head back and drank in the cool night air as their friends ping ponged around them. But when had they come back here? The sharp shrill of birds chirping made Maya’s eyes go wide as realization dawned on her.

What time is it?! Maya scrambled for her phone in the bed to the groggy groans of Keye and Noah. She found it on the nightstand next to her, but when she attempted to turn it on, it was , of course, dead. Maya sprang from the bed against the protesting of her head and searched for Noah’s phone charger frantically as Keye moaned painfully.

“Keye, get up!” Maya snapped. She found the end to Noah’s charger plugged in on his side of the bed and shoved it hastily into her phone waiting for it to boot up.

“Fi’ more mins,” Keye groaned as she tried to cover her head. Noah was rubbing his face and yawning nonchalantly.

“Please, please, please,” Maya whispered as she waited for her phone to finally open.

9:02 a.m.

“Fuck,” she whispered. They’d missed their flight back to La Push that had been slated to leave at 7 a.m. that morning. Just as her brain was starting to switch into overdrive, a volley of delayed text notifications, voicemails, and missed calls popped up. Maya gave an exasperated groan.

Before she even opened the missed texts, mostly from Paul she assumed, she quickly opened a new text to Michael to get him working on booking her and Keye the next flight home. But just as she began typing, her phone sprang to life with Paul’s face.

“Fuck,” Maya squeaked louder this time. She looked at his face for a solid two seconds before hastily answering the phone. “Paul I’m—”

He cut her off: “My!? Jesus, where are you?” There was a tinge of irritation in his voice but mostly he sounded concerned. That was promising.

“I—I’m so sorry, babe. I was just texting Michael to get our flights changed. We…we overslept,” she admitted, holding onto her head and looking up at Noah who was watching her carefully.

“You overslept?” He asked, confusion coloring his voice. Maya held her breath and shut her eyes tight. She felt so many things right now: embarrassment, annoyance, hung over, and a tinge of sadness. If she hadn’t missed her flight, she’d be almost halfway to him by now.

“Yes,” she said simply trying to hide the tremble in her voice as she fought back tears. “My phone died and we overslept,” Maya realized she was still kneeling next to Noah’s bed and she stood up suddenly with her hand on her hip.

“What the fuck, Maya?” Paul said, his voice slightly raised and the anger ebbing out. Maya let out a huff of breath and turned to see Keye with her hands over her eyes.

“I know, I… I just messed up, I’m sorry. We all went out last night and my phone died and—”

“What the fuck is going on?” Paul asked, anger coloring his tone.

“Nothing, Paul,” Maya said, her annoyance creeping out, “We just overslept. It’s not a big deal. I’ll get Michael to book us on the next flight out of here. Calm down, please.”

What was his deal? She thought this reaction was a little over the top for her accidentally missing her flight home but there was an edge of desperation and worry in his tone and she suddenly felt guilty for a simple mistake.

“I said I was sorry,” she said, getting upset now.

“Oh, you will be,” he said ominously. Maya’s eyes widened momentarily and then she shook her head. He was upset, she understood that but this was almost too much. “Just get home.” He said in a quipped tone.

“Whatever,” Maya replied dismissively before hanging up and grabbing Keye’s arm, shaking it roughly. “Get up! We gotta go!” She scrolled to Michael’s name and pressed the call button before looking over at Noah.

“Maya,” he said slowly, apologetically. Maya held up her hand to him as Michael answered on the other line.

“Michael, hey, it’s Maya. Look, me and Keye missed our flights. Can you book us on the next one out ASAP? Paul nearly had a coronary.”

“Of course. I’ll send you an updated itinerary as soon as it’s booked,” he said.

“Thanks Michael,” Maya said, holding her hand to her forehead.

“Anytime.” Maya hung up the phone and started looking for her things.

“Keye! Let’s go! Airport! Now!” she barked in response to Keye's continued groaning.

Two and half hours later, Keye and Maya were tucked onto their flight back to Washington.

Maya had only forwarded her flight details to Paul via text, but he hadn’t responded. She knew she had clearly upset him but at the end of the day, she hadn’t done it on purpose. Which was why his reaction had seemed so off base. Was he really that upset with her? Or was it something else? Knowing Paul it had to be something else. Maya had clearly looked lost in thought as she gazed across Keye out the plane window because she abruptly asked:

“Are you gonna tell him?” Maya snapped from her reverie, smoothing the worried look that hand scrunched across her brow a moment earlier.

“Huh?” She replied.

“Paul,” Keye said expectantly.

“What about him?” Maya asked, confused still. Keye raised her eyebrows in surprise at Maya.

“Are you gonna tell him about us sleeping at Noah’s?” That thought honestly hadn’t even crossed Maya’s mind but now that Keye had said it…

“Uuuuhh,” she stalled.

“Oh damn,” Keye breathed out with an amused laugh at the end.

“What?!” Maya asked with a lick of accusation in her voice. Keye shook her head, the incredulous look not quite wiped from her features yet.

“Nothing just…Damn, Maya. Didn’t realize you were a cold player,” she was clearly joking but Maya stung a little at that.

“What are you talking about? We passed out at Noah’s, so what?” Maya looked down at her hands and started fiddling with the zipper on the front of her sweatshirt.

“Noah is into you,” Keye quipped. Maya scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“So, I’ve heard.”

“Yeah, and uh, I’ve never had a massively possessive—”

“Paul’s not—” Maya tried to interject.

“Fine, ‘protective’. I’ve never had as crazy of a protective boyfriend as you have, but I’m pretty sure he would not be super siked to hear that you passed out in Noah’s bed, next to him, after letting him get buddy buddy all night.” Keye wasn’t accusing her, nor was her tone hurtful. She just stated it matter of factly and Maya faltered.

“Buddy buddy?” she clarified with an edge to her voice, glancing at Keye.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Keye pushed back, “My, you know what you do to dudes. Paul included.”

“I do not,” Maya said, truly at a loss. Keye was the one to roll her eyes this time.

“Don’t do that. Don’t play that oblivious pretty girl bit,” Keye said, her tone sharp, but sincere.

“I don’t know what the hell that means but if I tell Paul I slept in a bed with Noah, he might very well lose his mind. So, no. I’m not going to tell him. But I do not encourage Noah, Keye. You’ve got that wrong,” Maya shot back. Keye shrugged her shoulders and started pulling out her headphones.

“Okay, just want to get our story straight.”

“There’s nothing to get straight. Nothing happened. We partied too late last night and I slept through my alarm like an idiot. And that just happened to royally piss my boyfriend off. Case closed,” Maya folded her arms across her chest and glanced out the window again. “Keye?” she tried to confirm. Keye poised her headphones over her ears and shook her head.

“My, it’s not a big deal. You know I don’t care what you do. All I’m saying is, if Paul was there last night, you would have not done the things you did,” Keye slotted her earphones in and finished with, “Just be careful.”

Maya tried to determine what could have happened the night before to make Keye think that she had been ‘buddy buddy’ with Noah. But nothing came to mind. She hadn’t held his hand or hung on him. She was never the kind of girl to do that, in fact she was considered the rez prude for most of her life before dating Paul. She had accepted a piggy back ride from Noah to their last bar of the night. That wasn’t leading him on though, was it?

She thought about what Keye said—about how if Paul had been around last night, she wouldn’t have done half the things she did. But what had she done? Hung out with friends? Joked? Accepted a drink from Noah or Ben? But if Keye had seen something she hadn’t then maybe she was saying or doing things without realizing. Maya shook her head, trying to banish the thought. Whatever it was she had or hadn’t done last night didn’t matter.

She was going home for the summer, resuming her life with Paul and being present for her best friend who was about to have her baby. And she wasn’t going to tell Paul because it wasn’t information he needed to know. Not when he was already pissed at her.

It would be fine.

“Fine,” Maya breathed out.

Paul leaned his head back beneath the shower head and let the water rush down over his face and neck. Showers were never the same after he had phased, not as warm, not as relaxing, but today… Paul let out a low groan as water ran rivulets down his hard chest to his legs. He looked down at the girl on her knees taking him deep into her throat and bobbing her head expertly. He threaded his fingers through her hair at the back of her head and gave a harsh huff as he held her face to him for just a few brief seconds, her lips pressed against his hilt.

“My, fuck!” he shuddered as he released her and she continued to take him in earnest now, edging him closer. She gazed up at him around her lashes and smiled around his length, nearly sending him. She knew what she was doing to him.

He had been so mad at her this morning when she had called and nonchalantly admitted on the other end that she had missed her flight. The worry and ache that had been his constant companion since April had exploded in that instant and he had gripped his phone so tightly it had almost cracked in two. But the second she had walked over the threshold of that front door, dropped her bags, and gave him that warm, all encompassing smile, he felt the tension and anger ebb from his shoulders and he soaked up that radiating pleasure she gave off.

The imprint would never let him stay mad at her for long, nor would Maya. That’s how she had ended up on her knees in the shower, her mouth stuffed full of him, eagerly swallowing him down. Paul braced his forearm against the shower wall and leaned his head forward, letting the water hit his back and blocking it from raining down on Maya’s face. She braced her hands on his broad thighs now, taking long, sweet pulls on him before dipping him down and to the back of her throat making him groan. She had him.

“My, I’m gonna–” he grunted and in response Maya quickly pushed him down to the back of her throat, letting him settle there. Paul’s eyes went wide and he held onto her head as he pumped forward into her mouth, fucking her face gently a few times before spilling down her throat. His breathing came in fast, powerful huffs as he slowly pulled her off of him and she swallowed what was left in her mouth before smiling serenely up at him.

“Jesus, My,” he said with a huff of laughter. She stayed on her knees for a moment, smiling up at him and he brought his hand to her face, cupping her cheek and running his thumb across her full lower lip.

As she stood and leaned against his chest, the top of her head not quite meeting his shoulder line, she hummed her appreciation. Maya gazed up at him with that heart-squeezing smile and Paul felt that tug that urged her closer. He wrapped an arm down around her back, resting on her ass as he brought his lips to her forehead. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into it, letting the relief of the imprint pulse between them.

“Am I forgiven yet?” Maya asked, pressing her lips across his throat as the water poured down and over his shoulders. Paul chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

“Almost,” he teased. “But I want to show you something.” Maya looked up at him curiously and he couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s a good thing.”

Paul shut the door to his forerunner and came around the front of the car where Maya stood, slotting her hand into his. The clearing that had once been blank space backed with evergreens that led deeper into the forest was now filled with a prominent two-story, sleek, dark navy home with modern white trim. The graveled drive was still being curved in and dotted with low garden lights, and the ground was freshly tilled and waiting for landscaping, but the house looked nearly done.

Maya let her eyes wander across the damp concrete of the freshly poured porch that wrapped around the right side of the house. The large white paned windows shone in the easy afternoon light and Paul felt Maya squeeze his hand and tug him forward.

“Paul,” she said, nearly breathless. Paul had to admit it, the work they had accomplished in just five short months was pretty impressive. The outside of the house was almost completed and only needed a few finishing touches (lights installed, porch railing sealed, and numbers affixed to the door). Inside would take a little bit longer, but Jacob had asked to wait for Becks so that she could decide the things she wanted like paint color, floor stain, light fixtures, and even window trim. He was going all out for his imprint, but Paul understood why. This family and this life meant everything to him. It was what he had been seeking when he first met Bella and what he fruitlessly tried to achieve when he followed her. Now, not even a year after mysteriously returning—a reason he still hadn’t shared with his brothers—he had an imprint and a baby on the way. It made sense why he pushed all the way down on the gas to jumpstart his new life.

And Paul had jumped at the chance to help.

“Has she seen it yet?” Maya asked, turning to look at him as she ascended the porch steps, her eyes bright and wide and eager. Paul’s heart stuttered in his chest and he let go of her hand to grip her ribcage and hold her in place before him. She was just a little taller than him standing on the second porch step and he stepped forward to close the small gap between them to kiss her. She responded instantly, arching her back and pressing into him, her arms coming up to rest over his shoulders. Paul felt that sensation of being grounded firmly to the earth, that swell and release of joy as he pressed her just a little closer and gently squeezed her ribcage beneath his large hands. He felt invigorated and clear, like the brightness was turned up on his entire world. When he released her, she steadied herself against his chest, laying her palms flat against his pecks.

He gave her an awry smile, “Not quite yet,” he said. “But Jacob wanted to get as much done as possible before the big reveal. We’re way ahead of schedule. But I—,” he paused, watching her carefully, not sure how to proceed, “I wanted to tell you something.”

She raised her eyebrow and looked at him curiously, humor etched plainly across her face. “Oh?” she offered and he couldn’t help but let out a short laugh.

“Yeah, uh,” he began looking away and then feeling the need to stare at her again. “I took some time off from completing commissions this spring. Kind of like a hiatus, so I could help Jacob do this. I haven’t been working at all,” he admitted. For some reason, Paul had felt too nervous to tell Maya this at the beginning of her semester. Her eyes were wide again, but Paul couldn’t place the emotion. Was she disappointed? He hurriedly carried on, “It’s not a big deal really. It gave me more time to work on some side projects in town, make the council happy without having to impregnate my girlfriend,” Maya laughed at that, a tinge of annoyance on the end of that sparkling sound, “It doesn’t really cut into us at all though, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Paul,” Maya said again, bringing her hand to his cheek. There was that look he loved so much from her. Pure adoration. If it was the work of the imprint, he didn’t care. He just wanted Maya to keep looking at him like that for the rest of his life. “This is amazing. You are amazing. For doing all of this?” she gestured around her as she stood still, held firmly in place by Paul’s hands. “Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay. And I don’t care about it cutting into us, whatever that means.” She leaned forward and kissed him again, soft and sweet this time. “This is absolutely incredible and so are you.”

He beamed at her and then pressed his forehead against hers—something he couldn’t do typically when she was standing next to him.

“I just want to make sure I’m telling you these things,” he said, gently tucking some hair behind her ear. Maya’s face dropped momentarily and her eyes shot through with something unspoken. His interest piqued at that but he let it go when her face changed into one of pleased softness, “You’re a part of all these things and a part of me.” Something inside him thrummed with content. She slotted so easily against him, a perfect fit, molded to him and he ached for more. Later, he told himself. “Let me show you the rest,” he said as he took a step back and placed his hand around hers before pulling her up the rest of the short porch steps and to the front door.

Hungry. That’s how Paul felt. Hungry to start this summer with Maya and spend as much time with her as possible. He was constantly surprised by the fact that their imprint was over a year old, and the length of their relationship almost the same. Paul was hungry to take the next step with Maya, but he was never sure what that next step was. He was worried about putting too much pressure on her.

Their relationship was so different from those of the other imprints. His brother’s imprints were eager, overjoyed even to get married, settle down, and start their lives on the rez. Maya though…was a wild card. No imprint had ever traveled so far off the rez without their partner before Maya and Becks. But Becks was more tethered now with the baby due in just two short months.

His Maya was determined to chase what she wanted and he loved that, admired it. Still, he wanted to make things even more solid, even if just to satiate that itch. She had been adamant that she wanted the same things as him—kids, marriage, their life together, she wanted it all. But the answer of when still hung in the air. He could be patient for all of those things, but he wanted to take at least one step toward that endgame this summer. When and what he did toward that goal was key though.

Once they had returned from the walkthrough of Becks and Jacob’s new house, Maya had said she was going upstairs to take a nap, citing some residual jet lag and the late night she and Keye had had before that caused them to miss their flight. Paul had settled at the kitchen table with his laptop, touching base with Michael about re-establishing his project timelines in July and answering some emails in the meantime. But his eyes continued to stray to the darkened stairs.

Hungry.

Would he ever not feel that predestined pull toward her? The one that begged him to cover every inch of her in every inch of him? She’d been resting for a little over an hour at this point, but Paul’s hands were beginning to itch to touch her. Just to be near her. He’d felt a version of this feeling from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her at that bonfire. A tug, a sharp pull that cinched around his heart and squeezed and that kept his gaze focused on her at all times. It was terrifying if not a little exhausting at times. But when he’d relinquish his control and give into the pull, he was always rewarded by the imprint.

From the moment he had imprinted on Maya, he would listen to every change in her breathing, watch enraptured as the goosebumps sprouted on her arm when he touched her, and finally, when she had let him, he would watch her face devolve into pure bliss the first time he pressed into her. Nothing could top that sight.

He glanced back to the half finished email and swallowed thickly. He could be patient. The rumbling of thunder sounded just off the beach and if Paul trained his ears, he could hear the soft patter of rainfall beginning down on the water. In just a few minutes, the rain began to fall in earnest, creating a soft thrum of noise within the house as it darkened outside. Paul ran a hand down his face and tried to refocus on the email in front of him. Something about refurbishing a mantel in an historic building in Chicago. But his mind was elsewhere.

The time away from her this semester had almost been too much. He’d delayed getting a place in New York once Jacob had hurried his plans along on the house, and the time away from Maya had been nearly unbearable.

Now, as he sat in the kitchen, listening to the rain, with her asleep just upstairs from him, he realized how ridiculous it was that he was anywhere other than beside her at this moment. He’d spent nearly four months without his imprint, he wasn’t going to waste any more time just sitting here when she was just upstairs. That was all he needed to convince himself to close his laptop and take the stairs two at a time before opening the door quietly and peering in. She was there, stretched out on his side of the bed with his t-shirt and some black sleep shorts on with just a knitted throw slung over her lower half. Her breathing came slow and easy. He entered the room, leaving the door barely cracked behind him before pulling off his shirt and sliding silently out of his jeans.

He didn’t wake her as he climbed into bed beside her, pressing his chest up against her back and wrapping his arm around her stomach to gently tug and slot her against him. She breathed out a sweet sigh and Paul leaned down to kiss gently against her neck and shoulder for a moment. He’d let her sleep, but he wanted a moment to breathe in that heady soft aroma that was so distinctly her.

He placed his lips at the crook of her neck and took some slow deep breaths, absently kissing and gently nipping at that delicate spot to revel in her. Maya made a soft sound, mingled with a sleepy groan that made him ache. Paul told himself he’d let her be after just a few more inhales, one more trail of soft kisses from her shoulder to behind her ear. But his control always slipped with Maya, especially when she began to roll her hips back against him. He let out a low groan in her ear when she pressed back against him and felt himself harden. Paul slipped his hand under the shirt that she wore and squeezed her waist.

“You miss me?” she said barely above a whisper in that sleepy, sweet tone. Paul nipped at her shoulder in response and smiled against her ear. She hummed her appreciation and placed her hand over his as he stroked back and forth over her stomach. “I was napping you know,” she teased gently.

“You’ve been napping for awhile,” he said, rolling her gently onto her back, “Plus, I have a better idea.” She was beaming up at him and that heart squeezing feeling pulsed through him again. She brought her hands up to cup either side of his face and he leaned down between them to kiss her softly, letting his hands knead the soft flesh on her hips as he slid his knee up between her thighs. She gifted him with a giggle that sent his heart racing and with a wide grin he dipped his head down to her neck again before swiftly pulling the shirt up and over her head.

“Aaah,” he let out a satisfied sigh at the sight of her. Paul could hear her heart quicken and tried to slow his pace so that he could enjoy every moment with her before devouring her. He dove down to her breasts, pulling one tight nipple between his lips and teasing it with his tongue. The breathy moans he pulled from her were enough to send him, but he held tight to her, relishing in the stiff peaks her tits formed when he let each nipple go from his mouth with a pop. With one hand on her waist, he used his other hand to pull the sleep shorts down her legs and flung them off the bed. He knew she’d be wet before he even dipped his index finger inside her and swiped along her seam, causing her to whimper. Internally, he growled. Whenever she made that sweet, simple whimper his mind darkened and he clutched onto the edge of his control.

Paul kissed along the line of her hips as she tangled her hands in his hair, begging him to go lower. But Paul was determined to take his time. With his hands grasped firmly on her waist and his lips pressing a line across the top of her delicate V, he propped himself up on his forearms to let his eyes cascade up and down her body.

Maya’s chest heaved in anticipation, her eyes trained to his waiting for him to dive in, to pull her under, and press her into the mattress. But instead, Paul let his eyes trace across each line and soft curve of her body, over the swell of her breasts, to the dip at her collarbone, ending in a rich well at the base of her throat. Her mouth hung slack as she watched him, her finger tracing the line of his brow.

This frustrating, sweet, eager, pliant, stubborn woman was his. His perfect little imprint splayed out just for him and still, Paul couldn’t help but be amazed each time she opened herself to him. The bond that tied them together tightened in his stomach and she squirmed in response. The things he would do to her, for her, were unending. He dipped his head to breathe in her scent again—it was intoxicating, making his brain fuzzy and loosening his control just enough.

“Paul?” she breathed out. That wanton stare, her face flush with lust made him snap.

In one sharp move, he wrenched her off the bed and flipped their positions so he was on his back and Maya was sitting straddled across his abs. Paul held tightly to her ass as he yanked her up and with a yelp, Maya settled over his face as she braced herself on the headboard.

“Paul! What—” but her protest dissolved into a solid moan as Paul pulled her down firmly on his face and began to suck at her core, letting his tongue dart in and out of her opening before swiping up between her swollen petals and pressing on the bead of her clit. “Paul, I-I…” she stuttered and stopped, trying to lift her frame off of his face but he held her tightly. She whined in response to his continued assault between her legs and when she threw her head back to let the sound flow freely from her throat now, he knew he had her. With the flat of his palm, Paul gave a swift slap to her left ass cheek and she yelped in delight. After a few more flurried spanks, Maya took her cue and started to grind her hips over his face, deliciously riding him. Paul let out a groan of appreciation that vibrated through her and made her respond in kind.

With another quick slap, Maya picked up her pace, her eyes closing as she clutched onto the bed frame. Paul let one hand travel up her torso and expertly pinched and pulled at one nipple. She was grinding faster, her breathing coming erratically and when she careened, her voice pitched high and her core tightened around his darting tongue, he felt a soft warmth flood over him as he sucked at all she gave him.

She was still twitching and making soft, gasping moans as he lapped at her, but before she could deflate completely, he pulled her off of him and came down on top of her. Her eyes were half opened in slits of bliss as she smiled up at him. This was his favorite part.

Paul pulled his briefs down enough to pull himself out and pressed into her opening. Maya’s mouth fell open in a silent moan as her eyes opened a little more to stare into his as he entered her.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he slid neatly between her legs and pressed to his hilt in one fast snap of his hips. Maya sucked in a sharp breath at the sudden intrusion but stayed open and pliant. He watched the quick tension relax into eagerness. Paul started to pump easily, her channel slick from his workings earlier, and closed his eyes to let the sound of her stuttering small moans wash over him as he stretched her.

Caught up in moments like this with Maya always seemed to bring Paul to a better version of himself. He felt the most like himself just like this with Maya. She had been right all those months ago when they had fought—they were very good at this. But it was more than just the physical bond between them. The imprint lit up every sensation, every heartstring and every deep stirring desire and he wanted it all with her.

He was rocking into her faster now and leaned his head forward to press his forehead to hers. She held onto the back of his neck, her legs wrapped up around his hips as he rubbed his hand up and down her thigh, slamming into her.

“N-nee-need you d-deeper,” she huffed. Oh, she knew what she was doing to him. Paul let that mischievous grin stretch across his face and the little smirk she returned did him in.

“Uh huh, I just bet baby. You’re taking me so good like this though, you sure you want more?” he said. Paul knew when he took her from behind that it felt almost too intense for her. Still, she nodded sweetly, toying with a look of feigned innocence that had him leaning down to bite her bottom lip that she puckered out at him. “If you insist,” he growled before quickly pulling out to her startled gasp, and turning her onto her stomach quickly.

He fully removed his briefs now and sat up on his knees behind her. He laid another harsh slap to her ass before grabbing her hips and snapping them up to meet his.

“Spread wide for me, baby,” he coaxed her as he rubbed his hand over the red print he left on her cheek. Maya let out a quick breath before letting her knees slide wide on the bed. Paul rubbed the globes of her ass before firmly planting his hands on her hips. He stroked along her slit with the head of his cock, pulling it up between her ass and then back down to her weeping opening. Maya’s breathing picked up in anticipation and when Paul slipped back inside of her, he couldn’t help himself from groaning, “Good girl,” as she let out a low whine and clutched the sheets.

So much for taking his time. Paul sank into her and let out a sharp breath when he bottomed out. Maya was breathing fast now, but her stillness as she adjusted to him turned into an eager rocking of her hips as she moved over him. Paul let his hands rest lightly on her hips and watched as she took all of him in. The feeling of her clenching around him was beginning to be too much already and when he was this deep, all he could think about was making a mess inside of her. Still, he held onto his control for as long as he could, letting her bob up and down on his length. When his resolve finally snapped, he gripped her hips tightly to still her before he began to snap his hips roughly against hers. Maya’s small moans ballooned into wails as she cinched and shuddered around him. She was spiraling and he wasn’t far behind. With a few more quick slaps against her hips Paul buried himself as deep as he could and spilled inside of her. His entire body sagged with relief and bliss as she sank down onto the bed. His cock sprang free of her and he watched with satisfaction as he dripped out of her.

Wanting to savor this moment, he lowered himself over her back, making sure to prop himself up on his elbows so as not to put too much of his weight on her, before pressing himself back into her. She groaned in what he could only ascertain as weak protest but with a peppering of kisses across her shoulders she quieted.

She wiggled a little beneath him, overstimulated and feeling his cock twitch in her, but she knew to let him stay inside. Paul would absently thrust into her every so often to coax one of her sweet moans from her, but mostly he just reveled in the sensation of keeping her stuffed full, of her soft body beneath his.

A little while later, they were wrapped in each other, the low light of the afternoon filtering around the storm clouds that continued to gently rain outside. Paul was just beginning to drift off when he heard her:

“I want to tell you things too,” She murmured in the deepening dark.

“Mmm?” he responded sleepily. Paul could hear Maya’s heart beat faster in her chest now. She rolled onto her stomach next to him, placing a hand on his chest.

“That night when I was at the infirmary and said I had strep?” Maya began. Paul looked at her confused, not entirely sure where this was going. When he didn’t respond she continued, tucking her hair behind her ear, “I thought I was pregnant. So I went to the campus infirmary to get a test.” Paul breathed in deeply, keeping his eyes focused on her. Why didn’t she say anything? As if answering his silent question, Maya said, “At first, I thought it was nothing and then I really wanted it to be nothing. And if I told you before I knew for certain, I know there would be nothing in the world that would stop you from getting to me.”

For a moment, the image of Maya being pregnant washed over Paul and he got lost in the quiet joy that flooded his chest. She would look so beautiful—round belly and warm cheeks as she smiled at him with that overwhelming look of happiness that he knew only he made her feel, that the bond made her feel. He itched to see her that way, full with his child and ready to take on their future together and start a family. He could see it so clearly, how the ring he’d bought her would glitter on her left hand as she placed it on the top of her swollen stomach and hummed sweetly hoping their baby could hear her.

But he knew she wasn’t ready. Not yet. And he could wait because that future held so much promise for them. It would still be there when they were ready. So, he let that image of Maya slip from him as his eyes refocused on the beautiful, naked, young woman propped up on his side.

“What?” She smoothed her hand over his chest and he let his look morph into one of light amusement.

“Nothing. Strep, huh?” he teased. Maya rolled her eyes and leaned down to kiss his chest. A nervousness overtook her now and Paul stroked her arm as he waited for her to speak.

“And I was late and overslept because Keye and I went out. I just felt like I needed to…feel like me and not quite so…well,” she ducked her head and looked back up at him. He was watching her carefully, a measured look of calmness on his face and Maya felt the need to tread softly. “We slept over at Noah’s.”

His jaw ticked dangerously and Maya hurriedly continued, “Nothing happened. Nothing will ever, ever happen…. But—”

Paul sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes darkening with that visceral anger she only saw once before right before he phased in front of her for the first time. Still, she was in it now and she pressed on because she had to tell him. Maya laid her hand flat on his chest and pressed against the rising heartbeat.

“We all fell asleep in bed together. Totally innocent, we just passed out, but I just wanted to tell you so—”

“So it didn’t come up later? Or slip out when Keye is just having a good time and pokes fun at my girlfriend sleeping in bed with another guy in front of everyone?” He was getting mad, and could feel the heat rising in his chest.

“Paul, this isn’t a big deal,” Maya breathed. Oh, that was the wrong thing to say. His nostrils flared and he sat up in bed quickly bucking her back and causing her to sit up on her knees facing him, still naked. She hastily grabbed a pillow and held it against her.

“No, Maya, it’s not a big fucking deal to you. But it is to me,” he ran a hand through his tangled hair and shook his head trying to clear it. “He’s into you.”

“So?” Maya said.

“You’re mine!” Paul snapped. Maya jumped at the sound but then her eyes narrowed, slowly simmering with anger.

“It’s not like anything would ever happen Paul, it was an accident, we fell asleep! You’re being crazy about this,” Maya’s voice was raising now too. Paul was grateful that Jacob and Becks weren’t here for once because he was fuming.

“Maya, I need you to operate with a little more common fucking sense, especially when I’m not around. Because—”

“Nothing. Fucking. Happened!”

“Listen to me,” he said through gritted teeth. Maya rolled her eyes and placed her hand to her forehead. “You need to be more careful and more fucking respectful—”

“Respectful?!” Maya interrupted, a look of amused shock on her face. Paul kept going though.

“Yes, respectful of this imprint, of this bond, of our fucking relationship! We are in a relationship, Maya, unless you forgot.” He held up his hand to display the ring on his finger that she had given him at Christmas.

“I know we are! For fuck’s sake, Paul. It was an accident, it wasn’t like I was begging to get into bed with him just to piss you off. We were drunk, we were tired, we passed out, that’s it. What was I supposed to do? Sleep on the floor?”

“You were supposed to go home. To your dorm. Anywhere but a guy’s bed who is very much into you and makes it known, Maya.” Paul was furious.

“You’re overreacting. How am I supposed to tell you stuff if you react like this?” Maya accused.

“God. Grow up, Maya.” He said, shaking his head and getting out of bed to pull on some sweats. Maya made a strangled noise in her throat and stood up on her knees letting the pillow drop from her body.

“Grow up!? Me!? Fuck you, Paul! You grow up!” she shouted. Paul was looking at her sideways by the door as he pulled on a shirt. Even now, he felt distracted by the curve of her body, the shape of her mouth. The hold she had on him was equal parts wonderful and terrifying. He chuckled, annoyed and shook his head.

“Jesus, maybe I should have gotten you pregnant. Might have tempered whatever rebellious teenage bullshit this is,” he motioned to her with a vague wave of his hand and even as the words came out of his mouth, he knew they were wrong. They tasted bitter and made him swallow thickly.

Maya’s face was crestfallen, temporarily suspended in disbelief before it switched to one of sweeping anger. Paul set his mouth in a hard line and when she let out a shout that sounded like a growl and chucked the pillow across the room at him, he ignored it and stomped down the stairs.

One more minute and he was out the door and into the cool night air. Paul didn’t want to phase and let his thoughts that were currently running rampant flood his brothers’ minds. So instead, he hurried over to his forerunner and piled inside before slamming the door with more force than was necessary.

As he drove away from their home, his hands tightened on the steering wheel and regret poured over him.

“Fuck me!” he yelled to no one as he coasted toward the highway in the dark.

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Three

Don't be late

When you’re small and everything is new, it’s easy to feel fear about almost anything: the dark, the faucet dripping in the other room, howling winds, a scurry of feet, or the breaking of a twig. And then when you get older, your fear transforms into more socially acceptable things like bad grades, disappointing people, cheating, and lying. But then, if you’re very lucky, you find a protector and those acceptable fears become surmountable. And then new, worse fears are introduced like your best friend getting pregnant, your friends drifting apart, losing sight of what you were after in the first place, your partner keeping secrets, and the overwhelming pressure to be something you never considered in the first place. Those fears become seemingly insurmountable and then a new fear appears that is guaranteed to take your feet out from under you and you’ll be swept out into a sea of uncertainty. Great.

Maya pulled the rest of the groceries out of the back of her Jeep and nudged the trunk door shut with her hip. It was a particularly cold January afternoon and only a few days before Maya was due back at Columbia. She balanced the bags of groceries in her arms and stumbled over the threshold of her home with relief. Dropping her keys in the bowl by the door with some effort, she let out a great sigh and kicked off her shoes before beginning to shuffle back toward the kitchen. Maya was halted however by the crescendo of voices upstairs.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Maya could hear Becks’ voice filter down the stairs—she couldn’t help but lean against the banister, craning her neck to hear more as she clutched the grocery bags against her chest.

“We’re not finished,” Jacob retorted quickly.

“Jacob, please–”

“We’re. Not. Finished.” He said firmly, his voice ever so slightly raised.

“Stop, Jake. You’re not going to change my mind.” There was that stubbornness that Maya loved in Becks. It rarely ever flared up, Becks usually being the middle ground between Maya and Keye whenever they found themselves at odds, but when it did, it was withering.

“It’s not safe, Becks! Why don’t you understand that?!”

“Oh please,” Becks shot back, her voice piquing.

“This is not just about us anymore. How am I supposed to keep you both safe and build the house and do everything I’m supposed to do here?” Jacob was getting heated now as if rehashing this part of the argument plagued him with immense anxiety.

“There’s nothing needing protecting, Jacob. Nothing happened to me last semester, and nothing will happen this semester.”

“No.” He said curtly.

“No?” Becks gave an incredulous laugh.

“You heard me: No.” Jacob said stubbornly.

“Jesus, Jake,” Becks replied, tired.

“I’m not comfortable with you leaving the rez, so no.”

“Real mature.”

“Becks—”

“Jake!” she shouted now and Maya jumped at the sound. “I have to go back to school, I have to finish out this semester, I have to do this before I can’t anymore. Do you understand that?! That’s it!”

There was a long pause and then, Jacob’s voice changed into a softer, begging tone.

“Please Becks…stay with me.”

Maya held her breath and clutched the grocery bags a bit tighter in anticipation. It felt like an eternity before Becks replied, her voice strained:

“Jake…I have to go.” Following this, Maya heard the shuffling of feet and then the door to the guest bedroom slamming. She scurried into the kitchen and dropped the bags on the counter, hurrying to unload them as she heard the pounding of Jacob’s feet coming down the stairs. As he rounded the corner into the kitchen, storming past her, Maya turned, feigning a look of surprise as she said:

“Hey, Jake…” But he didn’t pay her any mind as he opened the french double doors, pulling off his t-shirt and throwing it into the backyard as he bolted toward the tree line, the anger radiating and rippling off of him in visible shudders. An explosion of wood and branches outside of the open door indicated that he had phased and taken off in a hurry.

Maya continued to unload the groceries, trying to keep her face neutral even as she heard the softer, measured steps of Becks coming down the stairs. An exaggerated exhale of breath alerted Maya and she turned to give her a soft smile.

“Sorry,” Becks ran her hand through her shoulder-length messy black hair and gave Maya a truly apologetic look. Maya waved her off as she said,

“I take it he’s not wanting you to finish the spring semester?”

“You think?” Becks slumped into a chair at the kitchen table and looked longingly out the back door. Maya rolled her eyes and snorted.

“What does he think is going to happen, exactly? You’re going to get kidnapped by a bunch of vampires who suddenly know who you are?” Becks didn’t respond and Maya pursed her lips before turning back to continue unloading the groceries.

“I get why he wants me to stay. It’s easier to protect us here, his attention isn’t divided, and he can start his alpha duties, but—”

“Wait, Jacob’s going to be alpha?!” Maya interrupted, whipping around to stare at her wide-eyed.

“That’s what he said,” Becks let out a great sigh and rubbed her forehead. She was starting to look a little pale. Maya crossed over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a glass to fill with water. When she set it down in front of her, she took a seat in the chair across from her.

“Are you sure you’re doing okay?” Maya asked and then grimaced. She was trying to play it cool, as cool as she could manage anyway, but Becks looked tired, worn out, and like she was about to puke.

“I’m fine,” she said after taking a hearty gulp of water. “He’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I just need to make it through this semester and then we can relax a little.” Becks absently placed her hand over her stomach and Maya’s eyes flitted down to it quickly. Becks rubbed her hand across her abdomen for a half a second before meeting Maya’s eyes and letting her hand fall to her knee.

“Becks, I—” Maya reached out across the table to take her hand, but a clattering of the front door and “My?” coming from the front door signaled Paul’s arrival.

A few seconds later he came into the kitchen and Maya withdrew her hand.

“Everything okay?” he asked curiously looking between the two women. Maya stood up from the table and walked back over to the remaining groceries with a quick “Yeah, fine.”

“I’m gonna go lay down,” Becks said, her voice overtired as she picked up her water glass and headed toward the stairs. Paul gave her a small smile and nodded watching her go for a second before turning back toward Maya. Once Becks’ footsteps had receded and the sound of the guest bedroom door had gently closed, Paul came up behind Maya and put a hand on her lower back.

“My?” He coaxed gently. Maya’s mouth was set in a firm line as she unpacked and shuffled items into their designated locations in the cabinets in front of her, “What happened?” Paul probed a little confused. Maya stopped suddenly and whirled around on him, hands on her hips:

“Were you going to tell me about Jacob taking over as alpha?” Paul’s eyes searched her face carefully but Maya tried to keep her expression neutral.

“Of course, babe, what—” Paul said tugging on her waist to pull her closer. Maya put her hand on his chest to steady herself as she felt heat rise to her face.

“He’s not going to let her leave the rez, Paul,” Maya said breathlessly. She stared at his chest for a moment and then raised her eyes to look at his face, expecting that stern, measured look of his. But instead she was met with softness, and a sweet smile that always set her heart racing. Paul raised his wide hand to cup her cheek, allowing his thumb to stroke the expanse of her cheek a few times before he said,

“If Becks is determined to go, there’s nothing he can do to make her stay. He knows that, he’s just stressed,” he paused to watch her eyes that no doubt matched in his softness now at his reassurance and then said, “You guys always forget that the imprint has more sway in this relationship than almost anything else. He won’t like it, but he’ll do what Becks asks.” Maya let out a huff of air and turned her head away from his hand and back at the groceries for a second. “You’re kind of cute when you’re flustered.” He mocked gently with a low laugh.

Maya turned back at him and pinned him with an annoyed stare that made him laugh out loud. He looped his arm around her shoulder and tugged her into his chest, hugging her tightly before kissing the top of her head.

“It’s gonna be okay, My,” he murmured against her head, swaying her back and forth slowly in his arms. Maya had her hands placed on the sides of his abdomen, her eyes trained toward the staircase where Becks had disappeared moments before.

A crescendo of closed car doors sounded as the foursome piled out of Maya’s jeep and into the clearing of Sam and Emily’s. Maya shrugged further into her coat and when she looked over her shoulder back at Becks, Jacob was already by her side and taking her hand in his. She smiled at him tautly and Maya walked around the front of the Jeep, casually taking Paul’s hand as he tugged her toward the door behind him.

Another farewell dinner, another impending goodbye. She sucked in a sharp breath to steady herself and quell the thrumming ache growing in her belly and buzzing up her spine, down her arm, and vibrating into Paul’s. He gave her a reassuring look as he opened the door and crossed the threshold, giving a loud “Party’s arrived!” to the already packed living room. Emily had insisted on another send off dinner for her, Becks, and Keye (who was currently wrapped up in Collin on the couch). But Maya was tired of goodbyes. Instead she saw this as an easy closing point for Jacob, and an obvious send off by his pack as well. Maya wondered if Emily had done this intentionally to show her support of Becks or if that was just a bonus.

Whatever the motivation, she was glad to have Becks’ back who was still adamant about leaving tomorrow morning along with Maya. Jacob and Becks had tried to keep their arguments to a minimum after Jake had returned later that day, but Paul and Maya could clearly feel the tension between them. Maya was still worried that Jacob was going to force Becks to stay even though he gave no indication of it. Still, she didn’t trust a rogue wolf—she firmly believed no one should.

Emily and Kim wrapped Becks in a hug and Kim held on a little bit longer, her eyes a fair bit misty. Maya raised an eyebrow at Keye who mouthed “Contact hormones” before rolling her eyes affectionately and bursting into giggles as Collin nuzzled into her neck.

“Hi, Maya,” Emily said gently as she pulled her into her arms and gave her a warm, welcoming hug.

“Hi,” Maya mumbled, still tucked in her coat and feeling warm.

“Ready for next semester?” Emily asked as she pulled back and retied her apron strings around her waist. Maya pulled off her coat as Paul grabbed for it while in conversation with Sam and Jared. Maya crossed and then uncrossed her arms , giving her head a hearty nod. She noticed Becks out of the corner of her eye, head bent toward Kim, one hand on her stomach and talking animatedly. She swallowed hard and stuffed her hands in her back pockets, heading toward the kitchen. Emily shook a saute pan of rice as Maya hoisted herself up on the counter and picked at some bread in a basket next to her.

“Are Jacob and Becks going to stay with you guys through the house building?” Emily asked nonchalantly, flitting from one task to the next. Maya glanced toward Becks fully now who was laughing, head thrown back, entirely too beautiful, her copper skin shimmering in the low light of the living room. Her heart ached for a moment that Becks hadn’t been able to share that joy with her.

Stupid. Maya bemoaned to herself. And then to Emily, she said,

“I think so. There’s not many places around the rez that meet Jacob’s standard of living for Becks at the moment.” She paused and looked down at her hands that gripped the counter too hard, “They’re welcome to stay as long as they like though.”

“That’s good,” Emily said in a relieved breath, “And I know what you mean. The housing revival project isn’t going as smoothly as Billy hoped so there’s less appropriate housing than usual. I think Paul said something about pulling in outside contractors he knew?” Emily looked over her shoulder interestedly at her and Maya’s eyes went wide.

“Did he?” she asked, completely out of the loop, “I wouldn’t know.” She replied a little exasperated.

“Oh, right. You’re probably swamped with school, makes sense,” Emily waved off. Maya bristled and then told herself to calm down. She couldn’t know everything that was happening on the rez and maintain her life at Columbia. There was just no way, so she shouldn’t get herself upset. Still…

“What am I doing?” Paul asked as he sauntered into the kitchen, gravitating toward Maya and gently pushing her legs apart to stand between them and plant a quick kiss to her lips. He let one hand rest on her thigh as he reached around her for some bread. His eyes watched her carefully as Maya leaned back on her hands and took him in with a skeptical look.

“The uh, the project for the housing expansion on the rez,” Emily confirmed distractedly. Paul continued to stare at Maya, amused, a smug smile coming across his face. Maya smiled back, unable to help herself and shook her head at him.

“That’s right, I am doing that. We should be getting quotes in a couple of weeks. But, I’ll talk down whatever price they bring to the table,” Paul rubbed Maya’s thigh with a firm touch and cocked his head to the side as if welcoming a challenge, an exchange. Maya shook her head and leaned forward, conceding to their silent conversation and letting her lips melt against his. He hummed his appreciation and slipped his hands up to grip her ribcage, making her gasp against his lips.

When Maya pulled back with a grin, she asked, “You were going to tell me all about that, weren’t you?”

“Of course, babe. On our way to the airport,” he said, still smug. She smacked his shoulder before pushing him back and hopping down off the counter to walk around him and help Emily who had become increasingly flustered in the kitchen.

The night was easy and slow as the warmth emanated from the hot-bodied men who gathered around in the living room, poking fun and cracking jokes. Maya was squished into the couch next to Keye and Becks as they shared a bag of wasabi peas. Embry was squaring off against two of the younger packmates and they were playfully clashing into one another, trying to three wrestle each other to the ground. Their bodies made frightening, heavy noises when they smashed into one another and Maya and Keye watched with wide eyes as Quil, Seth, and Jared laughed and goaded from the sidelines. Becks’ eyes were trained off toward the round kitchen table where Jacob, Sam, and Paul sat seemingly to talk earnestly, an absent hand over her stomach.

Embry swiped his foot at one of his packmates' ankles, bringing him thudding to the ground as he jumped on top of him and pinned him to the floor. The other boy followed suit piling on top of Embry to the cheers and laughter of Jared and Seth.

“Hey,” Maya nudged Becks’ shoulder with her own, catching her staring at the three serious leaders at the kitchen table. Becks shook her head and gave Maya a tight smile. “What are they talking about?” Maya asked, clearly having seen some sort of torn recognition in Becks’ face. Keye was glancing around Maya at Becks now, her face transforming into one of concern.

“Me, probably,” Becks said, sounding almost resigned. She looked down at her hand on her stomach for a half a second and then met Maya’s eyes.

“What, why?” Keye said, digging in the bag of wasabi peas and bringing a handful to her mouth. Maya continued to watch Becks carefully, her eyes flitting to the table every now and then. The men’s heads were seriously bent together, as Jacob shook his head looking stressed.

“Because I’m going back to school tomorrow and Jacob doesn’t want me to. And the council doesn’t want me to. And the pack doesn’t want me to. And my parents don’t want me to,” Becks voice was beginning to crack.

“The pack?” Maya said, her eyes skittering to glance quickly at Paul who was saying something to Jacob with a hard look in his eye.

“Emily basically tried to mom-guilt me about staying for Jacob’s sake,” Becks said. Maya’s eyes went wide in a flash.

“Why would she do that?” Maya breathed, shocked. Becks shook her head and stared back at the sparring boys in front of her in the living room.

“Everyone thinks it’s a bad idea for me to go. So, maybe I should just—,” Becks began to concede.

“No!” Keye and Maya nearly shouted in unison. Jacob, Sam, and Paul’s gaze shot up to stare at the women and Maya squirmed a little in annoyance under their gaze. She gave the most infinitesimal shake of her head at Paul and looked back to Becks who was staring, lips parted, almost pleading at Jacob.

“Becks,” Maya said. “This is your decision. No one else’s. Okay?” She placed a hand on her arm and Becks shifted her gaze toward her. She eventually nodded, still unsure and Maya’s heart momentarily broke. They didn’t have too long to sit in that feeling though because Collin and Embry stumbled sideways, losing their balance and falling toward the girls on the couch. Keye yelled as Embry caught himself before he nearly crushed Maya. Collin stumbled and fell back against the girls though eliciting a sharp hiss from Becks and a “OW, FUCK!” from Maya. Becks curled her hand and arm protectively around her stomach as Keye shoved Collin as hard as she could in annoyance.

“You fucking idiot!” Keye said as she tried to push him off. But suddenly, he was yanked with force from on top of them and thrown to the floor with a startling thud. Keye followed and jumped on top of Collin to hit him across his chest and shoulders as payback. Maya glanced at Becks and was opening her mouth to ask if she was okay, but Jacob was already there, kneeling in front of her and putting her face in his hands, a worried, strained look across his face. Becks winced as she sat up straight and Maya rubbed a sore spot on her ribcage where Collin had accidentally dug his elbow in when he fell.

“Becks?” Maya broached as she saw her breathe in sharply. Jacob was simmering with rage as he looked over Becks’ body. Collin was laughing, completely unaware of the exchange unfolding as Keye continued to whale on him. The sound of his laughter seemed to crack something in Jacob though and he dropped his hands from Becks’ face, standing in one swift motion and pulling Collin up roughly on his feet, sening Keye flailing back onto the ground on her butt.

It all happened so fast—one moment Collin was laughing on the floor and the next, Jacob had him slammed against the nearest wall, his forearm across his throat and pressing as he screamed, “ What the FUCK is your problem?! She’s fucking PREGNANT you idiot! Get your god damn head out of your ass or I’ll fucking rip you to shreds!”

“Jake!” Maya reacted as Collin choked and coughed, his face beginning to turn purple from the pressure. Paul was behind Jacob now with Seth trying to wrench him off of Collin with little luck.

“Jake chill! It was an accident!” Seth yelled trying to get Jacob’s attention. Sam was there now too trying to pull him off as well but Jacob’s head was gone. Becks sat stock still, in shock, her arm still wrapped around her, as she watched the man she loved completely switch to a side she’d never seen before.

Jacob pounded his other hand into the wall next to Collin’s face as he continued to yell, but the words were getting lost and jumbled. Paul yanked with all his might and was able to relieve some pressure off of Collin’s neck. He took the reprieve and gasped for air heartily. Jacob was thrashing against Seth, Paul, and Sam’s hold now as he shouted, “Get off of me!” He looked as if he wanted to kill them.

Maya didn’t know when she had gotten to her feet, but she found herself standing, fists clenched as she watched wide-eyed as Jacob lunged for Collin again, slipping from the men’s hold. He had to stop, he needed to stop. She looked over her shoulder at Becks who was hyperventilating, barely recognizing the man in front of her. Maya took two steps forward around the coffee table toward the scrambling men before she heard Paul shout, “Maya! Stay the fuck over there!”

She halted, shook to her core by his desperate rage as he tried to wrestle Jacob off of Collin again who’s eyes were rolling the back of his head.

“Get over here!” Sam shouted to the rest of the pack. Once Jared, Embry, Quil, and Brady joined, they were able to successfully pull Jacob off of Collin and wrestle him out the door and toward the treeline. The fresh air washed some of his anger and yanked free of their grasp in the cool night air, bringing his hands up to his head, looking frantic.

“What the fuck, Jake,” Embry said, breathless. As if realizing suddenly what he’d done, he tried to beeline for the front door again as he muttered, “Becks…”

Paul smashed against him, as the others crowded his back to block his way. “No. No way. Go cool off,” Paul said firmly pointing toward the treeline. Something broke in Jacob’s gaze as the reality of what he’d done dawned on him. With a frustrated growl he turned, ripping off his shirt as he bolted and disappeared into the treeline.

Paul and the others watched the breeze scrape empty branches against each other, their chests heaving.

Maya was frozen in place where Paul had told her to stay, her legs trembling as she watched Keye kneel in front of Collin who was rubbing his windpipe and still taking gulping breaths. Becks was surrounded by Emily, Kim, and Sadie. When Paul came through the door, Maya’s gaze shot to him immediately. He strode toward her, that same heated purpose that he usually wore on his face when he saw her. Her breath caught in her throat and when he cupped her face in his hands, looking over her face and body with a gentle scan she felt herself hold her breath. The sheer anger and visceral, feral rage that had permeated the room moments ago had left a damp feeling of sadness and shock.

Maya couldn’t quite find her voice but Paul understood, kissing her forehead for a long moment before saying gently, “Do me a favor—please don’t ever try to get in between something like that ever again. Understand?” His voice grew gruff and ragged with emotion on that last word.

Maya nodded her head quickly and he finally pulled her into a hug that she wanted to let herself be swallowed up by and disappear until next year. She’d have to settle for the next few minutes though because the urgent feeling to get Becks the hell out of here started to creep up the back of her neck.

It took some convincing, but Maya was able to get Emily to agree to let her take Becks back home with her since they were leaving in the morning anyway. Maya worried that if she left Becks at Emily’s, she wouldn’t leave La Push at all. The terror in her eyes started to tell another story on the way back home though. Maya kept glancing at Becks in the rear view mirror as Paul glided them quietly back to the blue home tucked in the corner of the reservation.

Becks was silent, her eyes watching the fluttering of the occasional street lamps run ominous shadows onto the slick streets.

Maya followed Becks inside the house and as she poised to go up the stairs, she let out a small, “Becks? You okay?”

Becks halted, her hand on the railing as she took some deep breaths to steady herself. In a shaky but assured voice, she replied, “I’m fine, My. I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, she ascended the stairs and Maya heard the soft click of the door to the guest room close. Paul was at her back, his hand resting on her hip as he leaned down and said softly against her temple, “I’m gonna give Sam a call. Go lay down and I’ll be up in a minute,” he kissed her temple and moved around her to head out the back door as he pulled out his phone.

Maya stood frozen in the entryway twisting her hands around themselves as she watched him go. The physical anger that had roiled off of Jacob this evening had been frightening. She was sure Becks had never seen that side of him and for what? For one of his brothers accidentally falling on his pregnant girlfriend? It made no sense to Maya. Even if he was under such intense stress with the thought of Becks leaving, this reaction was too much.

Where do they go from here? She knew that Paul had a history of troubled anger but had he ever lost it like that? Did all of the pack have that same potential to unleash that kind of rage or was it just Jacob? Was it just a perfect storm of tension, upset, and unsettled conflict that led to it? Maya felt her feet move underneath her as she floated up to her and Paul’s bedroom. The enormity of their abilities, their strength, and just how far they could go to protect not just their imprints but anyone was suddenly laid bare for Maya. They could kill. Suddenly, things felt so much bigger than they had before. As she undressed and pulled on some loose sleep shorts and one of Paul’s shirts, she thought back to that night she had left the reservation to go the warehouse party with Sadie, Becks, and Keye. She remembered how Paul had showed up at just the right time to wrench that guy off of her and had beaten him within an inch of his life. He might have killed him if Seth hadn’t been there.

Did that make him a monster? Should she fear that strength? That ability to kill even if it would never be directed at her? Were they all a short fuse waiting to be lit? And what felt worse was that if they were these dangerous creatures simmering just under the surface, she understood that nothing could take her away from them. She loved Paul, unwaveringly so. And seeing this side of Jacob tonight meant that Becks, despite any fear or trepidation, loved him still.

When Paul quietly opened the door to their room and changed into some simple sweats before climbing into bed next to her, she turned toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him forward to her lips. He held her tightly against him, his hands squeezing her waist as her hips pitched forward to meet his. Maya heard the low growl sound in his throat signaling the hardening need between them and she knew she’d give him everything. Anything this man wanted her to give, she would try to give it to him—love, friendship, trust, babies, comfort, anything. Everything in her responded to everything he communicated.

Her hand coasted down the naked expanse of his hard chest, slipping under the waistband of his sweats and taking his thick overwhelming length in her hand. He stuttered a moan against her lips as she began to stroke him, pulling him out of the top of his sweats. She felt his hands tighten to a bruising degree against her ribs and then loosen. The feeling of it sent a tingle down her spine, spreading through her core. Maya’s thumb smoothed over the head of his length, spreading the bead of moisture around and down him as he continued to grace her with his heady moans. He yanked the shorts down her body and leaned over her so she was slotted beneath him. Naturally, he pushed his hips forward and Maya canted hers up, lining him up neatly against her core. He pushed up on a forearm so he could more easily pull the shirt she was wearing off, leaving her naked. He always needed her completely naked so he could drink in every inch of skin, watch the rise and fall of her breasts as she spiraled toward orgasm and see the line of her hips press against his. Paul gave her body one long look of appreciation, leaning down to kiss across her shoulder and the hollow of her throat before leaning up, spreading her further apart so he could bottom out into her in one hard push. Maya let her mouth hang open in a prolonged gasp as she felt him stretch her apart, filling her completely.

And with the unspoken fear still lodged in her throat, she let him claim her. As he rocked into her slowly, making sure to fully remove himself before sliding all the way back in, she knew she would let him take what was hers to give again and again. This love and heat and carefully buried fear of this man who was working between her legs, who would give her everything, and expect the same was it. Monster or not, Maya was in love with all of it. And as he pressed into her faster, pulling her toward a sweeping crescendo, she watched the wracking pleasure and hedonistic lust on his face transform into one of everlasting adoration. Maya’s mouth fell slack and she cried out a moan too loud for the evening. So when he clamped his hand gently over her mouth to quiet her as he edged her toward her orgasm she let that feeling of overwhelming love rush through her, comforted by the fact that this man would only ever be hers. Mine.

Maya held Becks hand as they walked slowly through the SeaTac airport. Paul walked a few paces behind them, his eyes traveling around the terminal and lazily back to his phone as if he was waiting for a call he didn’t care would come or not.

When they had woken up that morning, Becks hadn’t mentioned Jacob. She hadn’t said much at all. But her suitcases were ready by the front door of the guest room, ready for Paul to ferry them to the car. Maya had asked Paul if he had heard anything or if Jacob would be showing up to send them off but he had shaken his head, showing her the texts between him and Sam about his whereabouts.

It was almost as if Becks knew, so Maya thought that maybe Jacob had contacted her to tell her to go or that he was sorry or that he would give her space or whatever she needed. She was honestly relieved if she was being honest, because if that was the case then Becks could return to Northwestern one last time before her life inevitably changed forever. As they approached Becks’ gate though, that relief evaporated. Jacob towered over the heads of the other travelers as he scanned the crowd for his imprint. His eyes looked soft, sullen, resigned, but his face was pulled with tiredness, the dark circles under his eyes darkening the chocolate brown of his irises. Maya gulped and felt Becks pause beside her. Immediately she shot her a look to garner their next move—should they run or get out of sight before Jacob saw? Maybe Paul could run interference, say Becks got on an earlier flight and she was already gone. But Becks was looking straight ahead, her eyes almost calling out to Jacob’s and he answered the call almost immediately. He took one step forward as if to run toward her but then stopped, thinking better of it and waited until she began walking toward him.

Maya let go of her hand and let her walk forward with her, Paul taking Becks’ place and filling her hand with his quickly. The soothing warmth lulled her panic somewhat as she watched Becks come to a stop in front of Jacob. Neither of them said anything for a long moment—they just stared at one another as if the short time apart during this upset had been more like months or years. And finally, Maya watched as Jacob raised his broad hand to cup Becks’ cheek, his tired eyes glimmering with unshed tears as he said the words “I’m so sorry.”

Paul tugged Maya closer to him and she obliged. Becks fell into Jacob’s arms as the sobs shook her shoulders. Jacob leaned his head over hers and continued to mumble apologies and promises. He would be forgiven, because there was no other choice. But Maya knew even if there was one, Becks would forgive him because that was the person she was. No matter what rage or violence she witnessed in the man she loved, she would choose to see what mattered. She’d forgive him his past if he’d share it with her. For now, though, this could be enough.

Maya watched with bated breath as the overcom announced that Becks’ flight was beginning boarding. Jacob had Becks’ face cradled in both hands, speaking with her earnestly. Becks was shaking her head softly but Maya couldn’t see her face. She looked up at Paul whose mouth was set in a hard line as he watched. That look pitched her stomach with anxiety and she looked back at Becks silently chanting for her to go. Jacob leaned down to kiss Becks in earnest now as she brought a hand to his face to catch a tear that had escaped. When they finally pulled apart after what felt like an eternity, Becks nodded. Maya inhaled sharply and looked up at Paul for anything, any sense of what was going on. He glanced down at her and gave the smallest shake of his head.

What?! Maya’s mind was racing. But when she looked back, Jacob had pulled Becks into a crushing hug, openly sobbing now as he held her. This didn’t look good.

After another moment of them holding tightly to one another, Becks took a step back and then…amazingly, walked around Jacob toward the door to the gate. Jacob turned to watch her go, his sobs wracking his entire body in a soul-splitting pain that Maya had trouble watching. But when Becks turned to give him one last look, she gave a weak smile and blew him a kiss. And then, she left. Jacob stood there, hands tangled in his hair as he dissolved into a complete mess. Maya felt her cheeks and realized they were wet. When had she started crying? The immense heartbreak she had just witnessed almost crumbled her own resolve to leave this time, but Paul pulled her into a tight hug and steered her away from Becks’ gate and down the terminal toward her own.

“You’ll look after him, right?” Maya nearly choked. Paul nodded, giving her a small, sad smile.

“Of course, My,” he promised. “He’s going to be fine.”

Maybe they were too distracted with the devastating departure of Becks and Jacob, but leaving Paul this time didn’t feel so bad. He held her a little bit longer than normal and buried his face into her hair, taking deep inhaling breaths to capture her scent just a little bit longer. But when he let her go this time, Maya felt solid.

Three months later…

Maya was typing as fast as she could in her Geotechnical Engineering course on a balmy April afternoon. It felt like her professor was talking a million miles an hour and she could start to feel a familiar knot in her neck tighten. Maya was swamped to say the least. Between four overwhelming courses, looming finals, and her advisor pressing her to submit applications for prospective internships to pursue her sophomore and junior year, she hadn’t slept much.

She had never felt this much stress before and that was coming from someone who had had little to no free time thanks to her overzealous, community-minded mother since she was 4. Spring break had come and gone so quickly and she had tried her best to hold onto the carefree feeling she had as she spent an entire week uninterrupted with Paul in New York. They had spent their time going out to lunch and dinner, watching movies in the rented townhouse, and making love on the rooftop terrace. It had been nothing short of magical, but in the month since, Maya felt like she hadn’t had any time to catch her breath, much less talk to Paul.

The ache in her stomach was a constant presence and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t on the verge of tears most nights with the stress, the quick texts before bed, and the missed phone calls. But she wasn’t going to let it get to her. She was almost through her first year at Columbia and she could push through a few more weeks before getting back to normal on the rez.

Well, as close to normal as you could get with your best friend due to have a baby that summer at 19.

Maya glanced up at the shifting slides on the overhead projector and suddenly felt light headed. She was completely lost in the lecture now even though she had been scrambling to keep up. Suddenly, she felt nauseous. Maya groaned internally and closed her eyes tight trying to get a grip. Her eyes darted up to the clock above the projector—only 15 minutes to go and then she could make it back to her dorm and lay down for a minute, maybe call Paul, and relax.

Maybe.

Twenty-five minutes later, Maya shut the door to her and Beez’s dorm and leaned back against it. A pitiful groan sounded from underneath a pile of blankets on Beez’s bed.

“You okay?” Maya said, panting as if she was out of breath. The roiling in her stomach still hadn’t settled and she placed a tentative hand over her stomach, hoping it would quell the upset and stress that bubbled there.

“Eeeegnnhh, nooooo,” Beez whined.

“What’s wrong?” Maya said as she tried to walk over to her bed slowly before sitting on the edge, “You sick?”

“Nooo, it’s my fucking period,” Beez moaned.

“Again?” Maya said flopping back onto her back and staring up at the ceiling trying to count the holes in the ceiling tiles to distract herself from the mounting nausea.

“Uh yeah, that’s the point. It comes every month like a bat out of hell sent to drag me to…hell,” Beez finished with a groan. Maya narrowed her eyes and tried concentrating on what Beez had just said.

“It hasn’t been a month, though,” Maya said after a beat.

“What?” Beez said peeking her head out from under the covers. Maya leaned up on her elbows and looked toward Beez with a wince.

“It hasn’t been a whole month has it?” She asked again.

“Uh, yeah, it has. I think I’d know,” Beez said grumpily. Maya glanced back up at the ceiling mentally counting out the weeks. It hadn’t really been a month had it? Maya had been so distracted with class and keeping her head above water that she couldn’t remember…the last time she’d had her period.

She wracked her very full brain, shuffling around the structural analysis formulas and geotechnical principles to see if she could remember. Paul had been out here a month ago for spring break and she hadn’t had it then…she remembered having it shortly after she got back to school, but after that, it was all a blur. The nausea swelled within her again as panic pounded her brain.

There was no way. No way in hell this was happening. She couldn’t even say the words in her head

“Maya?” Beez said from underneath her comforter.

“Mm?” Maya said shortly.

“Do we have any aspirin?” she groaned. But Maya didn’t answer. Next to her, her phone started to ring, flashing with a picture of Paul. For the first time though, Maya couldn’t bring herself to answer him right away.

[Voicemail: 4/28, 8:34 p.m.]

Hey My, it’s Paul. Just trying to catch you. I haven’t heard your voice in a couple of days and I just wanted to…to hear you. Listen, babe, I know we’ve both been busy and I know I’ve missed some calls because I’ve been caught up with this house stuff for Jacob and Becks and the new baby, but…when you come home, I promise things will slow down. I love you. Call me back. Okay…bye babe.

Maya clicked to save the voicemail from Paul and then quickly pocketed her phone back in her pocket as she strode forward in the cool night air. The last week had been her just going through the motions. Ignoring the mounting stress as best she could and burying the near persistent nausea building in her stomach, Maya pushed ahead toward finals.

But deep down, she knew she couldn’t put this off forever. If she was…she swallowed thickly unable to bring herself to think of the word, then what then? She was desperate not to think about it anymore. As the lights of the campus infirmary came into view though, Maya couldn’t put off the unknown any longer. When she left her dorm that night she had intended on heading to the library and to study until her brain went blissfully numb. When her phone had lit up for the third time that day with Paul’s warm and comforting face however, she had changed course.

Whatever happened, she’d deal with it. But she didn’t have to deal with it alone, so why was she leaving Paul on read and unanswered in her inbox? The bright lights of the infirmary washed over her as she headed toward the reception desk to the student aid behind the counter.

“Hello,” she said in a kind, tired voice. “What can I help you with?”

“Um,” Maya fidgeted her hands on the top of the counter and leaned in a little to keep her voice hushed even though the small lobby of the infirmary was empty save for one student. “I need to do a pregnancy test.” Maya flushed red and watched as the almost bored looking student aid gather paperwork on a clipboard and slid it across the desk toward her.

“Okay, no problem. Fill this info out and return it when you’re done. We’ll get you back in a few minutes. They don’t take very long,” she said. Maya stalled holding the clipboard limply in her hands and staring open-mouthed at the student aid, “Let me know if you have any questions though.” The aid reassured her.

Maya snapped out of it and nodded, walking toward a close chair and sinking into it. As she filled out the necessary information, her heart ratcheted up in her chest. I should call Paul, she thought involuntarily. She should call Paul. But she knew if she did he would panic and do everything he could to get to her before she even found out the result. The irony that only six months later she was sitting in such a similar situation to Becks did not escape her. Did Becks also feel this scared, this unsure about what she’d do next? Did all she want was her imprint by her side to tell her it would be okay and that they would do everything they needed to do and whatever felt right?

She must have.

“Maya Sunriviere?” The nurse called from a doorway behind the reception desk. Maya’s head shot up. When had the clipboard disappeared from her hands and ended up in the nurse’s? Maya got up on unsteady legs and followed her back into an exam room. The questions offered by the nurse floated in and out of her head. She must have answered them though because the next thing she knew she was being ushered toward a private bathroom with a cup in hand.

Time was moving too quickly and skipping ahead, but when she found herself back in the exam room, everything slowed down to a torturous pace. She pulled out her phone and checked the time. Only two minutes had ticked by but it had felt like an eternity. Maya absently swung her feet as she sat on the exam table letting her mind mingle with thoughts of Paul, her, and the potential of…no. She wouldn’t let herself go there, not yet, not when she didn’t even know what she wanted.

But what if she didn’t want…it? What if she wasn’t ready? For once, Maya didn’t know how Paul would react to something like that. If she didn’t want that with him right now, how would he react? Would he support her or drag her home? The council would have her head if she tried to deviate any further than what she already had.

Maya felt herself beginning to hope beyond hope that this wasn’t real and that she’d wake up in bed and laugh at herself. She began to hope that it wasn’t a possibility. But there was a small voice in the back of her head saying otherwise.

Maya glanced down at her phone again. Five whole minutes had passed and the room felt colder. Just as she released a great sigh and was about to start pacing her phone vibrated causing her to jump. Paul’s broad smile shone up at her and in a daze, her trembling fingers pressed answer.

Even as she pressed the phone to her ear, she knew it was a mistake.

“Hello?” she said, her voice sounding stronger than she thought it would sound.

“My? Oh, baby it’s so good to hear your voice,” Paul’s warm voice vibrated across thousands of miles and echoed in her ear. She felt immediately soothed by it and couldn’t help closing her eyes at the sound. “Where have you been?”

“I-I…I’ve just been studying babe, I’m sorry. It’s been…t-totally crazy,” she stuttered. She needed to get a grip.

“My…” Too late. “What’s wrong? You okay?” The stress was evident in his voice. The timbre took on a rougher scratch that pressed it’s urgency on her.

“Yeah, fine,” she quipped. There was a deadened silence on the other end and Maya held her breath as her eyes darted about the room. She couldn’t tell him, not now when she didn’t even know herself. Why the fuck did she answer the fucking phone? “Paul, really. I’m fine, just tired. It’s….been a long week and I—”

“Are you okay? You sound…”

“Baby, yes. I’m fine. I’m….in my dorm with Beez. I’m fine,” she said, not wholly convincing anyone. Paul let out a sigh on the other end and seemed to be taking a moment to measure his words.

“I’m sorry. I know this time apart has been hard and you’re so stressed. I’m probably picking up on that. You just sound…off,” Maya was almost annoyed at the accuracy at which he had her pegged. She felt bad that she wasn’t telling him where she was right at this moment and how scared she had been just a few moments ago. And now…now she felt lighter, safe. It still took her off guard the effect he had on her sometimes.

“Oh,” she said, a little breathless, “No..no I’m fine. It’s nothing I just…I wasn’t feeling well and I went to the infirmary and I—” A knock sounded on the outside of the exam room and the nurse peeked in.

“Maya?” she said gently with a smile. Maya’s mouth hung open mid-sentence as the phone slipped off her ear and onto her shoulder.

“You went to the infirmary? Are you sick? Baby?” she could hear Paul’s voice echo on the phone.

“Yes,” Maya answered, her throat dry now as the nurse clicked the door softly shut behind her and consulted her clipboard.

“Maya? Are you there?” Paul continued, his voice hinting at a panic.

“We’ve got the results of your pregnancy test,” the nurse said, consulting her clipboard. Maya swallowed hard. This was it. Her heart hammered in her chest and as she watched the nurse’s lips form the words: “Negative.”

“Negative?” Maya repeated. “As in..”

“As in not pregnant,” the nurse confirmed. Maya could have fallen through the floor with the relief that crushed her in that moment.

“Thank you,” Maya breathed. The nurse nodded and left the room.

“My?!” Paul shouted. She brought the phone back up to her ear, “What’s negative?!” Maya was stunned and her voice had disappeared. The only words she could muster as the pain in her belly subsided into one of overwhelming relief was:

“Can I call you back?”

“What?!” Paul shouted, the anger clearly ebbing around his concern. Maya ended the call and let her arm fall slack at her side.

“Fuck,” she breathed out as she broke into a sob of relief.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Two

Holidays in La Push

I don’t even remember why we took the trip. But I do remember the sweet smell of rain lingering in the old bus that rambled down the curving roads toward Multnomah Falls. Becks was next to me scribbling down something in her red spiral bound notebook she always carried around with her. At 14, you always had too many thoughts or feelings in one day to contain in your head, and Becks the ever quiet, and sweet one needed a way to get it all out. So she carried that thing around with her starting all the way back in fourth grade. She probably had hundreds of those notebooks now. Sometimes she’d let me write down notes in them for her, or we’d play games. I’d stopped trying to peek over her shoulder to see what she was writing by the time we reached middle school—if Becks needed secrets, that was fine with me. We all need secrets sometimes. I do remember once the bus had stopped and Becks had shoved her red notebook into her book bag and slung it over her shoulder, we scurried up and around a wet, worn path. A light drizzle had started but it was hard to tell what might be rain and what might be the falls. As we came to the center of the bridge, I gripped the railing and held my body as far over the side as I could without losing my balance. Becks stayed back from the railing but watched me carefully, her eyes glancing between the Falls and me, worry lining her lips. I didn’t mean to make her nervous, but it all felt so wild and set my heart pounding in time with the falls. “I feel like a bird.” I remember saying, my voice coming out shaky. “What?!” Becks said, her worry growing. Behind us the teacher was shouting over the sound of the rushing water, trying to regale our class with facts, but we could barely hear her. “I could fly right through the mist and land on that rock, don’t you think?” I looked back over my shoulder at Becks but her eyes were wide in what I thought was fear at the time. I took a step higher on the railing just to feel the wetness hit my face more. “Wait!” Becks yelped, lunging forward and grabbing my arm. And I remember laughing as Becks held my arm so tight, but didn’t pull me down.

After the goodbyes around midnight, Maya had slipped out the back door and onto the porch to catch her breath, beer in hand and wrapped in one of Paul’s thick flannels he had left slung over the back of a kitchen chair. Paul had gone with Jacob to grab their overnight bags from Becks’ beat up Corolla (“I’m fixing up an old Land Rover Kyle Messina sold me, but she swears she won’t take it even when it’s finished,” Jacob had said, rolling his eyes affectionately). Becks had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and wash her face, so Maya was able to slip out without any awkward explanation.

Fog billowed from her mouth as she took deep breaths and tilted her head up toward the night sky, trying to blink back the tears from forming in the corner of her eyes. Maya gulped down icy air and paced back and forth on the deck for a minute in the darkness before plopping into the sunken swinging deck chair. She raised the beer bottle to her lips and took three quick glugs before staring down at her hands.

Maya couldn’t help but feel that sinking dread pull at her insides. But, what for? Becks seemed happy the whole night with no hesitance, no wavering sense of worry in her, but Maya’s mind kept going back to the voicemail Becks had left her. She had sounded scared—maybe not wholly scared but nervous—and Maya worried that that feeling was still there. Before Maya could get too lost in thought, she heard the soft click of the door opening and took another drink. Becks was wrapped in a thick sherpa blanket and wandered out onto the deck.

“Hey,” she said quietly. Maya watched her form carefully before letting her gaze rest beyond her down toward the ocean trying to let the rhythmic sound wash her with a sense of calm she did not currently possess.

Maya nodded her head in response after a minute and Becks took a deep breath turning her back toward her to look out toward the ocean. The silence settled between them and Maya felt like she should say something, anything, or else she’d start crying or laughing or both.

“I am happy for you, you know. Really,” Maya insisted.

“Yeah? Really seems like it,” Becks said with a solid edge in her voice before turning around to face her. There was no use keeping their voices low—the wolves would hear everything anyway.

Maya set her face in a hard line and clutched the neck of her beer bottle.

“My this is a good thing,” Becks breathed. “And we’re happy about it. Really happy. And I know the timing doesn’t seem great….” Becks looked down at her feet briefly before raising her eyes again, a new determination behind them that told Maya she’d put up a fight if she had to, “But I don’t care.”

Maya tried to keep her face smooth from the outward cringe threatening to darken her features. She swallowed hard once, and then again, trying to hold back the question that was threatening to tumble out. Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she bit down hard to try and keep quiet, but Becks’ eyes were on her now, earnest and wanting to know it was alright. And it was alright, but–

“What about Northwestern?” Maya blurted out. She could feel Becks tense immediately and the last wisp of calmness evaporated between them. Becks crossed her arms in front of her protectively and shook her head before steeling herself.

“I’m going to try and finish out the spring semester and then I’ll take a break,” She seemed so sure, like it was just so easy to do. Maya felt her hands form into small fists. “Jake isn’t thrilled about me going back but I think it’s important that I—,”

Maya scoffed unkindly and shook her head. This spiked anger in Becks’ eyes, and the intense flash made Maya shift a little in her chair.This was a Becks that Maya was not used to seeing. The only other time she had directed this much anger at her was when Maya had lost her Grandmother’s bracelet that she’d lent her to wear to their eighth grade spring formal.

“You know, My, your way isn’t the only way,” she snapped, taking a step toward her. “I’m allowed to veer from the path you have so perfectly laid out in your mind for me.”

Maya inhaled sharply, trying to swallow her own anger but it bubbled too close to the surface again. “You’re right,” Maya bit back, “You’re allowed to change course. I just didn’t think you were that desperate and would leave everything you’ve worked for behind to appease some asinine council expectation.”

“Unbelievable,” Becks’ mouth hung open in incredulous anger.

“What do you want me to say? You’ve known him for five months and been sleeping with him for two. This is fucking crazy, Becks,” the words spilled out of Maya’s mouth in one fast breath and the tears were threatening in earnest now. Becks held the blanket around her with iron fists and was slowly shaking her head, not looking in Maya’s direction.

“I want you to be happy—” she almost begged, her voice cracking now.

“I AM!” Maya shouted and then took a breath to steady herself, “I am. I said I was. I just…this just seems fast and you’re giving up what you’ve worked for for so long, Becks. I’m just scared…for you,” she tacked on.

Becks fitted her with a stare that Maya couldn’t quite decipher. The anger was there, but simmered quietly under the surface. Instead, Becks looked at her knowingly, as if she finally understood something.

“Right,” Becks said barely above a whisper. Maya waited for her to say more but the silence stretched between them and after a few minutes of Becks staring hard at Maya, her face screwed up in betrayal, she walked quietly toward the back door without another word. When the door clicked shut behind her, she could hear the muffled voices of Paul and Jacob starting just beyond.

Maya stared out across the dark expanse of the backyard as her breathing pulled in rough. In and out. But it wasn’t working and she felt the familiar burn and prickle of panic start to climb in her throat like bile.

Why did she do that? Why did she say it like that? She was scared for Becks but..calling her desperate?

Fuck.

Maya shot up out of her chair and took off down the back lawn, the panic pumping in earnest. She needed to even out her heartbeat, she needed to breathe deeper, she needed to not feel like things were changing too quickly.

Maya hadn’t realized where she was going until the painfully icy water soaked her socked feet. She walked along the beach edge aimlessly, first in the direction of the town lights and then veering off toward the dark thicket of forest. Her mind was racing and the hot pin pricks of pain poked at her throat making it harder and harder to breathe.

She felt herself go deeper into the forest, the sticks and moss and leaves clinging to her soaked and freezing feet. Maybe she had originally been heading for her parents house or even Keye’s, but instead she just wandered and stomped through the quiet, cold forest trying to just breathe.

She was so angry at herself, for making Becks feel like she shouldn’t be happy about this or that they were moving too fast. Who the hell was she? What killed her was that Maya knew for a fact that if the roles were reversed and she was the one to drop this bombshell, Becks would be by her side, supporting her, rather than doubting her decision and talking about timing.

“So stupid,” Maya gasped, her breathing coming in shallow as she buckled over and put her hands on her knees. “Stupid. Fuck.” She felt her knees go weak and braced herself against a tree trying to steady herself.

A sharp snap of a twig brought her head up suddenly as her eyes scanned the forest. Maya had never been particularly afraid of the dark or the forest or any part of the land she lived on, but as the cold wind whipped through the trees shuddering the leaves, Maya was reminded of the icy cold grip and red eyes from her dreams. Her eyes darted around the darkened forest, searching for movement, but it was still save for the waving of the branches. She still couldn’t breathe properly and stayed buckled over.

Another snap and rustle sounded near her and Maya squeezed her eyes shut. Shit. Paul might kill her if she got herself murdered accidentally. The panic kept Maya in place and she let her eyes drift listlessly around the forest. She realized how much of a target she had made herself for anything–complete prey and yet—

“Maya?” Quil came out from a thicket of trees, barefoot and bare-chested. Turns out, the only monsters in these woods were ones she knew. Maya gave a short nod and continued to take gasping breaths. Quil hurried over to her and grasped both of her forearms in his fire hot hands. He must have been running rounds. “Fuck, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Quil’s eyes flashed wild, his jaw clenched and when Maya shook her head no, he seemed to understand, “Sit down,” he helped lower her to the ground and Maya sat with her knees bent leaning back against the tree. Quil crouched next to her and pushed her head gently forward, “Between your knees. Take deep breaths. Listen to me? Okay?” Maya shifted forward and closed her eyes. “Hear the waves? Can you focus on that sound? Try to match your breathing to them. In and out.”

Maya tried to focus on the sound of Quil’s easy voice, that warm lilt that lent itself to so much humor in the pack. And then to the waves. All of the things she knew. Quil’s wide palm rested between her shoulder blades and she felt that seering familiar heat calming her heart. Maya felt her breath return and reached up to hold onto Quil’s forearm.

“You have panic attacks a lot?” He said quietly after a minute of Maya’s evened breathing.

“Not usually, no,” she said, her voice coming out hoarse.

“What happened?”

“Becks…” Maya swallowed thickly trying to remove the lump still in her throat, “Becks is pregnant.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Quil responded. Maya looked up to take in his face. “Jake told me.” He confirmed. Quil’s mouth tilted in hesitance, “It’s kind of crazy, right?” Maya let out a choked laugh before looking back down at the ground.

“I was such a dick,” she breathed. “I called her fucking desperate.”

“Jesus,” he said softly.

“I didn’t mean it. I just…” Maya cringed, “I’m so scared for her.”

“Because of Jake?”

“What? No,” Maya looked up at him and shook her head emphatically, “No, of course not. It’s just…”

“Ah,” Quil said, looking easily at her now. Maya looked confused, “That could have been you.”

She swallowed harder this time and the realization shattered her.

“She’ll forgive you,” Quil said warmly and Maya felt the tears threaten to spill. “Come on. I have a hunch that Paul has no fucking idea where you are and will go bezerk in roughly ten minutes if I don’t get you back,” he offered his hand and Maya took it gratefully as he swung her up onto her feet. “Here.” He bent down and Maya hopped up onto his back. Her feet were numb and she was thankful when he peeled off her drenched socks and tossed them on the forest floor, “I’ll come back for those. Maybe.” He grimaced and Maya laughed, laying her arms gently across his collarbone as he held under her knees and trudged off in the direction toward her and Paul’s house.

Quil kept conversation light on the walk back to Maya’s and she even found herself laughing at the absurd way he said, “Do you think the council will hold a seance and hypnotize all the imprints to get pregnant at the same time?”

Once they reached her house, Quil let her down and Maya turned to look at him when she reached her front door.

“Thanks, Quil,” she said softly. Quil gave her that gentle smile and nodded.

“Anytime. Just…take it one step at a time okay? They’re going to make it, and so are you.” He said before nodding and turning to jog toward the tree line.

Maya knew that. She was just…blindsided and felt like whatever implicit understanding her and Becks had temporarily shared had evaporated. She was once again alone in her feeling of the imprint being anything but easy for her and Paul. She looked down at her hand, hesitating over the doorknob for a second before she turned and pushed the door open quietly. The house was quiet and dark and Maya tiptoed her way upstairs and into her and Paul’s bedroom. When she pulled the bedroom door shut behind her with a soft click, she turned to see Paul leaning against the doorframe to their bathroom, brushing his teeth.

“You okay?” he said and Maya gave him a brief smile before saying,

“Yeah, fine,” she shimmied out of her skirt and tights and pulled on some sweats before walking toward the bathroom and squeezing past him through the doorway. He stopped her though with an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him. With his toothbrush still hanging out of the side of his mouth, he brought both of his hands to Maya’s cool cheeks and looked down at her in confusion. She looked up at him, her eyes round and wide and her hands hanging limply down at her side and realized she was too tired to explain anything right now. Paul tilted his head as he examined her face with that focused, concerned look and rubbed his thumb across her cheek.

“You have dirt on you,” he rubbed it away then brought his nose down to breathe in the scent of her hair, “Where were you?” His face was starting to morph into worry and Maya brought her hands to his wrists pulling them off of her face.

“I just went for a walk,” she said quietly as she walked over to the shower.

“In the woods? At midnight?” he said, continuing to brush his teeth while looking at her over his shoulder.

“I ran into Quil,” Maya twisted the knob and let the warm water cascade over her open palm.

“That explains the smell,” Paul said as he finished up. “Hey.” He was behind her now, his hands on her arms and rubbing softly up and down. Maya closed her eyes and leaned into his chest. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I know,” she breathed out, bringing her hand up to cup the side of his face as she watched the water rush down the drain. Maya fought to keep herself there again but luckily the panic was less this time in Paul’s arms. “I just wasn’t ready for things to move this fast. It’s fine though, she’s going to be fine.” Paul swayed her gently and kissed the top of her head. “Did you know?” Maya suddenly said.

“Only about two minutes before you did. Jacob told me in the kitchen. Can’t say I was too surprised though,” he said. Maya pulled out of his arms and started to undress. Paul watched her and when she turned around to face him she let out a deep breath.

“What do you mean you weren’t surprised?” a hint of annoyance clear in her voice.

“They’ve been going at it like rabbits. And the way he talks about her, you’d think she was the fucking sun or something,” Paul tugged gently at Maya’s hair and she grimaced.

“Is there something wrong with us?” She looked up at him and his face fell back into incredulous confusion.

“What?” he said sharply.

“I feel like we’re just…so far behind everyone. Like, is it me holding us back?” Maya confessed. Paul’s face relaxed and he started to laugh. Maya’s eyes shot wide and she tried to cool the fire of quick anger that struck in her belly. “Paul!”

“Maya, if you’re jealous of Becks being pregnant, then I’d be happy to fix that for you,” he joked coming toward her, laughter still pouring out of him.

“Ugh, fuck off,” she groaned as she pushed against his chest with one hand and turned to hop in the shower.

“I could probably get it on the first try,” he continued and Maya threw her head under the water to try and drown him out. “You just let me know!”

“I’d like to see you try and get through my birth control,” Maya quipped.

“Is that a challenge?” He said, his voice receding.

“No, but you’ll probably take it as one anyway,” she retorted. She heard him laugh as he disappeared into the bedroom and Maya let the tension ease away from her as she washed the evening off.

--

The next morning, Maya drank her coffee quietly leaned up against the countertop. When Becks and Jacob descended, she waited warily.

“Morning,” Jacob said kindly with that lopsided grin as he came into the kitchen.

“Morning, there’s coffee… and tea,” she said as Becks entered.

“Thanks,” Becks replied sweetly. Maya tried to relax, and to not make it weird.

“Um,” she began. Great, good start. Totally comprehensible. Paul strode in yawning and gave her a fast kiss before pouring himself a cup of coffee. Maya tried to continue, “Uh, so Keye is coming by to grab us to go shopping for gifts in about 20 minutes,” Maya said with almost a question in her voice to Becks.

Becks sipped her tea slowly from her place at the table and then looked up at her and then at Jacob, uncertain.

“Oh, I don’t think I can go,” she finally said. Jacob was watching her and looked to Maya as if to back Becks up. Paul leaned against the counter next to Maya and raised an eyebrow.

“Why not? You guys aren’t going far, right?” Paul said. Maya was somewhat relieved that someone else asked the question instead of her.

“No, I don’t think so,” Maya replied.

“I don’t really feel comfortable with that right now, with everything being so new,” Jacob said cryptically as he placed his hand on Becks’ lower back. Maya cringed in confusion and annoyance.

“New? What are you—” Maya started, but Jacob looked at Paul and continued.

“You’ll understand when it’s Maya, but there’s no way she’s going anywhere without me right now.”

Paul just looked at Jacob with a placid look and then nodded curtly in understanding. Maya couldn’t help but bristle at that.

“She’s pregnant, she’s not dying,” Maya spit out sharply and then winced. Fuck. She needed to chill.

“We’re going over to Charlie’s for a fish fry this afternoon anyway, so I don’t think I’ll have time between that and my doctor’s appointment,” Becks smoothed over the tension and Maya promised herself that she would do better to be understanding. This was new, he wasn’t wrong, but she could still be disappointed.

“Right,” she responded with a lighter tone in her voice. Jacob wasn’t paying her any mind at this point. “Well, text me if you need me to pick up anything while we’re out then.” Maya set her mug down and excused herself out of the kitchen to go and change. She could feel Paul’s eyes on her the whole way and she tried to swallow that growing feeling in her stomach that felt a lot like loss.

--

“Remind me why we agreed to this again?” Jacob asked as he walked around Paul’s forerunner and pulled open the door, helping Becks down from the passenger seat.

He was nervous. Being back here was dredging up a lot of old feelings that he didn’t have time for right now. He felt like his sole job was to focus on Becks.

She had laughed at him when he had insisted she wear the big coat that went past her knees even though it wasn’t freezing. But still, she had obliged, letting him button her into it and top it with a fluffy hat. He would admit he was being a little over the top, but this was his family and he wanted to try and do everything right that he could after making so many mistakes. That meant making this pregnancy go as smoothly as possible for Becks. His list of to-dos had ramped up after that fateful phone call just over two weeks ago.

He remembered the way her voice had wavered, cracking with uncertainty and he had never felt farther away from his home in his life. She had called him from the campus infirmary, in the middle of the night, and no sooner had she spit out the words, “Jacob, I’m pregnant.” did his entire world shift into overdrive. He caught a redeye an hour later and hadn’t left her side since. Becks had been adamant about staying to finish her finals, but every moment they stayed, Jacob felt more and more exposed. He just wanted to bring her back to the safety of the reservation, fiercely protected by his brothers, where he knew no one would get to them.

But he had conceded when she told him he could wait outside her classes while she took her finals. They left the second her last final had ended and only then did Jacob breathe easier when he crossed the line into La Push. And only then did it feel like they could relax and celebrate a little. She had seemed pleased that she was pregnant, but he worried she wasn’t saying something.

And Maya certainly didn’t help. Paul had warned him that she might take it badly, and that he should tell her first just to ease her into it or let Becks tell her in private, but Jacob had laughed saying, “It’s a baby. Who’s not going to love their best friend having a baby?” Paul had just shaken his head and braced for the inevitable. He knew her well, Jacob would give him that.

“We agreed because he invited you and your dad. I recall him saying something like 'Just like old times.' You don’t deny the elderly their 'old times'," she giggled and Jacob smiled just at the sound. She was great at turning negatives into positives. “Speaking of your dad, have you told him yet?” Becks broached as they walked toward the front door of the Swan residence.

“Ah,” Jacob stalled and Becks groaned.

“Oh, Jacob.”

“It’s been busy! I had to spend a whole day in Seattle to get those permits approved for the house early so I can start building in January,” he bemoaned. Becks pulled the hat off of her head and raised her hand to ring the doorbell.

“Everyone can’t find out before him,” she said firmly. Jacob sighed and nodded.

“You’re right, we’ll tell him after lunch.”

“Or now,” Becks said as Charlie pulled the door open and gave a hearty “Hello!” She returned the intensity of his greeting and let him pull her into a hug as Jacob’s mouth hung open in silent shock.

She wanted him to tell his dad in front of Charlie? No fucking way. Because if Charlie knew then…Jacob swallowed hard, feeling that prickle to tug Becks back toward him and take her to a place where she’d be safe.

“Jake! C’mere!” Charlie said, pulling Jacob into a fierce hug as Becks walked into the house.

“Hey Charlie,” Jacob chuckled as he patted him on the back.

“How are you son, come in!” He pulled back to look at him and then guided him over the threshold. “Your dad and Sue are in the kitchen.”

Jacob helped Becks out of her coat and hung it on the coat hook by the door. His hand slid to her waist and pulled her closer, easing some of his worry.

The familiar smell of the home hit him first. That comforting warmth, a hint of sweet lilac with an edge of warm patchouli and cinnamon. Suddenly it felt like no time had passed at all and Jacob glanced at the staircase, half expecting Bella to stumble down them at any moment.

Charlie led them toward the living room and Becks sauntered ahead into the kitchen, all smiles, with Jacob trailing behind her listening for ghosts. Sue welcomed Becks in her motherly tone, pulling her into her arms for a soft hug and said,

“Oooh, so good to see you. I can’t wait to hear about how your finals went!” When she pulled back, she let both of her hands rest of Becks’ cheeks and took in her rosier than usual complexion. Sue’s eyes twinkled with something and Becks gave a small smile before nodding and making her way to Billy who hugged her with that deep, warming chuckle.

“It’s so good to see you, honey,” he kissed her cheek and looked over her shoulder at Jacob, brimming with happiness that his son looked so content in this moment, “Lucky!” he said and Becks laughed before coming to the stove and peeking at the sizzling oil in the frying pan.

The afternoon was easy and Becks found herself laughing and joking with Charlie like an old friend. As they sat in the living room, plates on their laps and tucking into the fish fry, Becks let herself recline into the warmth of the house and the overwhelming feeling of family.

Becks’ parents had been around but not really accessible. As an only child, like Maya, she thought that her parents would be a little more invested in her wellbeing, but they were preoccupied with their careers, their friends, and their interests. So Becks never felt a bond like the family she got to experience with Jake. Maybe that was why it was so easy for her to accept the trajectory of her life now. Anything was better than being ignored. But still, there was something comforting about this old house and when Becks excused herself to use the restroom, Charlie pointed over her shoulder toward the staircase,

“One bathroom, sorry, it’s just at the top of the stairs. Can’t miss it.” Becks felt Jacob’s eyes follow her toward the staircase and she couldn’t quite shake the undeniable stress that he held in his shoulders, in the line of his jaw, right around the edge of his eyes even once they had arrived here. What was it about this house? Sure, it once belonged to the girl he had loved, or thought he had loved, Becks wasn’t sure which descriptor fit best, but that was so long ago now and he’d told her that the memories in this house were mostly good ones.

Becks climbed the stairs and let her eyes wander along the framed photos that ascended along the staircase. Photos captured the girl called Bella at nearly every age and Becks let her mouth quirk into a quick smile at the one of her and Jake as kids making mud pies.

She easily found the tiny bathroom and after washing her hands, she walked back into the hallway. The door to her right creaked open slightly, grabbing her attention and Becks could see a room beyond it. Curiosity getting the best of her, she gently pushed the door open as it whined loudly on its hinges, clearly not having been opened for a while. The room was clean, if a little dusty and Becks let her eyes fall around the room, settling on the odds and ends that defined a person’s space. She ran her hand over the dusty stack of CD’s that littered the small desk by the window, and admired the purple bedding with flowers. As her eyes coasted up the bed, she noticed a handwoven dream catcher attached to a post at the center of the headboard, cobwebs lingering between the carefully woven thread.

Becks crossed the room and leaned over to inspect it closer, her hands gently fingering the delicate threading and worn, soft wood that was expertly woven together. Familiar. She thought.

A sharp groan of wood sounded behind her back toward the doorway and Becks straightened quickly to whirl around. Jacob was standing there, his eyes first on Becks, curiously, and then they coasted around the room, taking it in as quickly as possible.

“You okay?” he said, his voice a little hoarse.

“Mmhhmm,” Becks nodded quickly, tucking both of her hands behind her back. She didn’t know why, but she felt just like a child who’d got her hand caught in the cookie jar. “Is this—?” she faltered and gestured around the room uselessly.

“Yeah,” Jacob breathed. It was clear he was only up for monosyllabic words at the moment. Becks did another turn about the room. It looked exactly like that of a teenage girl’s, not too unlike her old room back at her parent’s house. While they hadn’t officially moved in together yet, she was sure she wasn’t going back any time soon now that she was pregnant. She hadn’t even told her parents yet, but at this moment, Becks felt like they had bigger things to worry about.

“Can we go?” Jacob said in earnest now. Becks turned back to look at him and saw that his face was pained, uneasy with her being here or simply standing in this room.

“Sure,” she said softly, walking over to him. He extended his arms as she got closer and she let him fold her into his chest.

“I’m ready to take you home,” he said softly against the top of her head. She could still feel the tight coil of muscles hunching his shoulders. As she leaned back to peer up at him, she nodded:

“Okay, did you tell Billy yet?” Jacob groaned at this and Becks smiled from ear to ear. “Come on then,” she nudged his chest and he turned, grabbing her hand to guide her back down the stairs.

“He’s just going to be so happy,” Jake bemoaned. Becks giggled and when they rounded the corner back downstairs into the living room, she didn’t hesitate,

“Hey, everyone, we have some news.” She was getting good at this. And what was more, the butterflies that circled in her stomach as Jacob squeezed her hand and gave her the most overwhelmingly warm smile was her favorite part. He was so excited.

“Becks is pregnant,” Jacob said looking back at his father with a pleased grin. Sue shot up out of her chair and chirped with excitement. Charlie gave a hearty, “Oh, ho!” and Billy…

Billy stayed seated for a moment, tears gathering in his eyes as he looked upon Jacob with pride and so much love.

“You sure don’t waste any time do you son?” Charlie said laughing from the couch. Sue had made her way to Becks and had pulled her into a tight hug, tears rolling down her cheeks in earnest.

Billy picked himself up from the armchair and made his way to Jacob, grabbing his forearm and shaking his arm heartily before pulling him into a tight hug. When they released one another, Billy was trying to quell the tears that were threatening to spill.

“A baby,” he choked out, happiness pulling at his voice. Becks nodded and Billy grabbed her to pull her into a hug with Jacob.

“I told you he would be too happy,” Jacob quipped. Becks pinched his side and Billy started to laugh amidst his tears. They would take this happiness any day and make it the foundation for everything if they could.

“A baby,” Billy kept whispering over and over again.

--

“Oh, fuck baby!” Paul panted as he gripped Maya’s hips and thrust into her quickly. Maya fisted the sheets, her face pressed into the side of the mattress as she belted out Paul’s name.

They’d tried to maximize their time together in their first week since Jacob and Becks had decided to stay a bit longer in the guest room. Even with the new insulation in the renovated apartment above the garage, Jacob wasn’t sold on it being good enough for Becks. When he had expressed this sentiment at dinner one night—Becks having thoroughly shot him down saying that the apartment was fine and they didn’t need to look for anything else in the meantime—Maya had jumped at the opportunity to invite them to stay.

So when Maya had returned from visiting her parents and Paul had finished a delivery in town early, they had about an hour to spare before the couple were due back from lunch at Becks’ parents. That’s how Maya had ended up with her face pressed down into the mattress and her hips high, spread wide for Paul as he took her roughly from behind. His hands pulled expertly on her hips as he sunk deeply into her with each heated thrust. Maya moaned loudly, feeling herself begin to pulse as the pleasure gushed in between her legs and she started to tighten around him. His guttural groans wracked through her and she felt herself crest just as he snaked his broad forearm across her chest and yanked her up so that her back pressed against his chest. His hand gripped lightly at the base of her throat and his fingers pressed her face to the side so he could encase her mouth in his. Paul’s rhythm got impossibly faster and she cried out into his mouth when he hit a particularly spongy part within her. Maya let her hand drift to rub circles on her clit as she arched her back, pressing the back of her head onto his shoulder as she felt her climax pull through her body in a rush of fire down her spine and spilling between her legs.

Paul gave two more solid, deep thrusts before spilling inside of her and letting out a low moan in her ear that made Maya grin from ear to ear. He held her to him, their sweat slick bodies molding against one another, as he caught his breath. When she tried to bend forward and dismount him though, he held her tightly in place and gave a soft, “Not yet,” and kissed her neck.

Maya leaned back against him, her chest rising and falling in time with his breath as she raised her hand to loop around the back of his head and stroke the hair at the nape of his neck. Warmth pulsed between her legs and she felt deliciously full.

Expelling a huff of air in a soft laugh, she jokily said, “You really are trying to get me pregnant aren’t you?”

Paul chuckled softly and kissed her shoulder and neck, “Shut up,” he teased. “I’m just enjoying us…like this,” he said, letting his other hand coast down her chest and across her stomach before squeezing her hip.

“Mmmm,” Maya hummed skeptically and relished in the feeling of him running his hands over her warmly and kissing along her neck and shoulder. These moments after were some of Maya’s favorites and as she felt that flutter of pleasure ignite in her again at Paul’s touch. She parted her lips to say something, but downstairs, they heard the front door shut and Paul exhaled in equal parts resignation and irritation.

--

On Christmas Eve, Emily and Sam held a pack dinner and gift exchange as a way to celebrate everyone returning. It was also when Becks and Jacob decided they were going to announce to the rest of the pack that they were expecting. Maya twisted the ring on her middle finger nervously as she looked through the closet for the right thing to wear. Her high waisted dark jeans hugged each curve and she was debating between her oversized gold cashmere sweater or the classic red Christmas sweater. She’d braided her hair in one thick black french braid down her back because she couldn’t be bothered and embraced the casualness of the evening. Just as she reached for the golden cashmere sweater and tugged it over her head, she heard the bedroom door swing open:

“My? Baby, let’s go,” Paul urged as he finished a text and clicked off his phone’s screen.

“I'm ready,” Maya placated, tucking and folding the front of her sweater before donning some thick wool socks. “You think they’re all gonna freak?” she followed up as she walked past him toward the door. He gave her ass a quick swat and trailed behind her out and down the stairs.

“We’ll see,” he said noncommittally. Maya wasn’t wholly convinced. It was a strategic miracle that no one had found out yet outside of the small circle Becks and Jacob had already told. Paul had managed it by only pairing Seth and Jared, and Quil and Embry together on rounds, and he kept his usual lid on things to keep everyone else in the dark.

When they came to the bottom of the stairs, Maya put on her boots and watched as Jacob buttoned Becks into her coat and topped a warm hat on her head. It was kind of sweet, but Maya just shook her head and hid her smile as she let Paul help her shrug into her coat and they headed out.

Emily and Sam’s house was bursting with laughter and noise when they arrived. The cold, crisp air set a stark contrast to the comfortable, warmth that the house emitted. When they entered, they were greeted in the same fashion—hoots and excited cheers as they were pulled into hugs, offered drinks, and food.

It wasn’t long before they all crowded into the living room—Becks sat on Jacob’s lap and Maya sat on the floor nestled between Paul’s legs. Sam’s son Luca was ferrying presents as part of the gift exchange and the living room was full to bursting with howling laughter at gag gifts or crooning awes at thoughtful ones. Jeremy stood off to the side, sipping a beer, his face still warm but noticeably brighter than when Maya last saw him. He raised his beer when Sadie opened her gift from him—a day planner with personalized matching pens—to which she cheered and bounded over to hug him tightly. Maya was given a thick braided bracelet that could come apart and unsheath a sharp three inch knife.

“I hear there’s a lot of creeps on the subway,” Embry offered and Maya rolled her eyes and thanked him with a laugh. Paul fidgeted with the bracelet around Maya’s wrist and made a comment about her needing to practice with it, but by that time, everyone’s attention was drawn elsewhere.

Once the gift exchange had drawn to a close and a new round of drinks were distributed, Maya glanced at Becks who was shifting uncomfortably on Jacob’s lap, her eyes uncertain and nervous as she tried to figure out the right time to announce their news. Maya opened her mouth to say something and grab everyone’s attention, but Jacob beat her to it, whistling and commanding the whole room in just a few seconds.

“Hey! Listen up,” he said as the pack quieted easily. Sam raised an eyebrow at them curiously and Becks took a deep breath. Jacob watched the side of her face and leaned in to whisper something in her ear that drew out a smile. The anticipation roiled through the room as Maya squeezed Paul’s thigh and he kissed her temple in response.

Becks glanced around the room and admitted in a nervous rush: “We’re…we’re having a baby.”

The room exploded into raucous laughter, cheers, and questions as a surge of bodies—wolves and imprints alike—surrounded Becks and Jacob. Maya laughed at the onslaught and leaned comfortably into Paul’s chest watching the madness unfold.

“Did you know?!” Collin turned to Keye and accused lightheartedly.

“Of course I fucking knew. She’s my best friend!” Keye shot back from her place off to the side. Emily was in tears and Sam was congratulating Jacob on being the only other member to start a family. The jumbling of conversation warmed Maya’s heart as she watched Becks’ face heat up in equal parts excitement and shyness as she was showered in love and excitement from the pack.

A flickering of motion by the kitchen island caught Maya’s eye however and when she leaned to the side to peer around the large group, she noticed the back door clattered shut. Jeremy. Maya’s heart caught in her throat and she watched the back door for a while. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain he must be in. But Jeremy’s pain went unnoticed and was lost to this moment. And for that, Maya ached.

---

On Christmas morning, Becks and Jacob left early for Billy’s. Maya and Paul stayed in bed and let the dreary mid-morning light filter in through the windows overhead enjoying the quiet. Paul’s naked frame was pressed up against Maya’s back as he clasped one of his hands in both of hers. Maya’s lips were pressed to the knuckles on his hand as she nuzzled it beneath her chin.

There were rarely these pockets of quiet between them lately. Maya always felt like they were up and running, or Paul was out on rounds or a delivery or in his workshop, and she was hopping from one house to the next: helping Keye pick out decor for her new apartment next semester, trying to get a moment alone with Becks and failing, visiting her parents, and then Emily, and Sadie, or running errands to keep the house stocked with food.

Usually, their time was divided—but this morning, the house sat quiet and the world outside hushed to a dull hum from the waves and wind in the trees. Paul lowered his lips to Maya’s head and kissed her hair softly with his eyes still closed. Maya sighed sleepily, not wanting this rare moment between them to end. Somewhere between that thought and lazily kissing Paul’s knuckles on the hand she cradled to her chest, they both fell back asleep.

When Maya woke next, the sun had glittered out gently behind the clouds indicating that it was late morning. She gave a hearty yawn and absently rotated her naked hips back against Paul’s body that was still neatly draped around hers in an attempt to stretch. She smiled when she felt him harden and grunt in recognition as he woke, his arm slotting down around her hips and pulling her more firmly against his groin.

In a pleased hum, Maya ground her hips back again to rouse him more, the heat already beginning to pool between her legs from his firm grip. Paul raised his head and ghosted his lips against her cheek to her neck, their unspoken conversation already beginning. Maya’s body never failed to respond to his sweet or rough or gentle touches. As she started to turn her body in an attempt to face him, Maya felt the arm that wound around her hips loosen as he brought his hand to grip the inside of her thigh and lift it, spreading her open. Her heart stammered in her chest and when she turned her head to meet his eyes, he slid into her from behind, her slick making it easy for him to press in as he stretched her.

She held his gaze as he slowly slid in and out of her, the adoration pouring from his eyes and into hers. Their slow, loving pace matched their morning and Maya let her eyes flutter close, letting out sweet sighs and small moans as Paul brought his other hand around to tug and pinch at her nipples. They took their time, relishing in each soft thrust and Maya rotated her hips back as Paul pressed forward, coaxing groans and sharp hisses from him.

“Paul,” she said barely above a whisper as she felt the soft tension build between her legs. She knew Paul could feel it too—the way she began to grip and milk him as her walls clenched.

“I know baby,” he groaned as she shuddered in release around him, pulling his climax quickly, “God, My,” he huffed in her ear as his length ticked inside of her, spreading his release and filling her. Maya glowed with warmth as she left her eyes closed, letting him pepper her with kisses and sweet ramblings of praise.

--

“Open this one next,” Maya said as she sifted through the pile of tissue and wrapping paper discarded in a heap around them. They sat on the floor in the living room beneath their tree and had been opening presents from one another between sips of coffee and bites of blueberry pancakes shared from the same plate.

Paul shook the narrow box as Maya sat with her legs tucked underneath her. He had given her too much, she concluded, looking around at the spread of clothes, a new book bag, purse, gold woven bracelet, and tablet before her. But this gift might even the playing field.

Paul gave her a sly smile as he pulled at the wrapping paper from the modest box. “What could this be?” he chuckled. Maya bit her lip as he opened the lid to reveal….a new pair of leather work gloves. He let out a huff of laughter and beamed at her like a kid on a Christmas morning, “Perfect! These are perfect, My.” he said gratefully as he leaned over to press a kiss to her lips.

“Good,” she sighed. “Try them on!” she egged him on, but it wasn’t necessary—he was already pulling them onto his broad hands, but his brow furrowed when he couldn’t quite tug on the left glove.

“What—” he began as he pulled a small box from the inside of the glove. He glanced up at Maya who was trying her hardest to keep tears from her eyes.

“Go on,” she breathed. Paul’s mouth turned up in his unmistakable smirk, the one that she knew meant trouble.

As he popped the small velvet box open, his eyes glittered with unshed tears. He nodded once.

“I thought it was only fair since you got me a ring,” she offered quietly. Paul plucked the hand forged gold ring from the box and looked up at Maya.

“And what finger does this go on exactly?” he teased holding it up and tilting his head with a smile.

“The only one that counts,” she replied gently.

“Just wanted to check,” he said, sliding it onto his left ring finger, “Didn’t want to assume.” He took a long moment to stare down at his hand.

“Do you like it?” she asked abruptly. Paul's gaze shot up to her and in one swift move he pulled her quickly into his arms and pressed his lips firmly on top of hers before she could even think. She melted into his kiss, his arms, his chest as an absolute pad of butter on perfectly browned toast. When he finally released her, she was drawn to the fierce look of determination in his eyes, which quickly smoothed into that soft look of love she always found there.

“I love it. And I love you, My,” he pressed his forehead to hers and she automatically brought her hand up to cup his cheek, “So much,” he choked out before taking a sharp breath.

“Good, because that took up my entire reserve of tutoring money that I earned throughout high school,” she muttered which pulled a wet laugh from Paul.

“Well, I guess that means you’ve well and truly earned this now,” he said cryptically. Maya leaned back to look at him but his face gave nothing away. He pulled them both to their feet and tugged Maya toward the front door.

“Paul,” she stammered in a confused voice. He helped her into her coat and leaned down to slot her feet into his work boots so he could shuffle her outside.

Maya stumbled out behind him, holding tightly to his hand and trying not to fall in his massive boots. When she looked up, in the driveway sat a matte black Jeep Wrangler.

“Surprise,” he said easily as Maya went wide eyed.

“Paul!” she gasped. “What the fuck! Is that supposed to be mine!?” Paul was laughing at her reaction and opened her palm to drop the keys in.

“Of course, whose else would it be?” There it was again, that too easy tone, that gentle way he took care of her that let her know there was no turning back—she wouldn’t want to anyway.

“This is….this is—” she tried to catch her breath, her hand placed over her heart as she looked from the Jeep and then up at him. “This is too—”

“Do not say it’s too much, because it’s not,” he said firmly, placing his thumb and forefinger under her chin and holding her there, “This is for you because you need it while you’re here and I wanted to get this for you…for us,” he held her gaze and she couldn’t even fathom disagreeing with him on it.

“This is too cool,” she amended, her eyes gleaming with joy. A smile broke over his face and he leaned down to kiss her which she returned with gratitude before pulling out of his arms and bounding toward the Jeep, squealing with excitement.

When she climbed into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition, the headlights cast a dim glow over Paul in the moody, dark afternoon and Maya beamed as she watched him stand there, hands on his hips as he smiled back.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—One

Summary: Maya Sunriviere was just trying to finish her last semester of high school and get the hell off this reservation. But when a man she barely knows lays some weird archaic claim on her, the tribal council steps in and tells her what her destiny will be. That won’t stop Maya from searching for another way out though.

Timeline: This story take place a few years after the events in Breaking Dawn. 

Pairing: Paul Lahote x Original Quileute Female Character

Content warnings (later chapters): NSFW, semi-controlling behavior, smut (p-in-v), unprotected sex, fluff, angst, oral (f receiving), oral (m receiving), imprinting, age gap (10 years)

Word count: 3,061

You’re never sure when your life actually starts. One day you just wake up and everything looks different, there’s a shift in the universe, or you feel all brand new but somehow, irritatingly, the exact same. For me, my world began to shift the last weekend of winter break before my last semester as a senior at the Quileute Tribal School. If only I’d have known what chaos was about to unfold, maybe I would have held on tighter to the old instead of rushing toward the new. 

“You’re going to freeze to death!” Rebecca was expertly applying her lip gloss in Maya’s full length mirror when she saw her shimmying on the tightest dark wash jeans she had in her closet. The rips exposed just the right amount of thigh and Maya had paired it with a cropped dark green tank top with thin spaghetti straps. Her long, silky, black hair rippled down to her mid back and her almond shaped milk chocolate eyes were accentuated with just a hint of mascara. 

Maya looked up laughing as she struggled to button her pants. “Chill Becks, I’m gonna wear my sheepskin coat. Plus this is an indoor party, no?” 

“Fashion over warmth, take note!” Keye said from her place on Maya’s bed, sprawled on her stomach and finishing her expert eye shadow. 

“Don’t come crying to me when you’re a popsicle,” Becks turned back to applying her mascara letting her mouth hang open. 

“Oh!” Keye exclaimed as a new song shuffled on her phone. She pressed up the volume to the point where Maya and Becks had to shout over Khalid’s song “Twenty One.” Maya dug in her closet for her trusty pair of brown boots with red laces. 

“Keye!” she shouted, snapping her fingers to get her attention over the music. She posed when she looked over. 

“SHOW ME THE BUTT!” Keye shouted, clapping. Maya laughed and did a little twirl. “Yesss!!” Becks nodded her approval from the mirror having moved on to applying lip gloss. Maya bounded over to her and Becks automatically handed her the wand. Maya had A-class best friends—they were all adept at anticipating each other’s needs, hyping one another up, communicating with just a look, and being there at the drop of a hat. With a quick swipe of the sticky substance across her full, pouted lips, she handed the wand back to Becks who turned to peck her lightly on the lips with an exaggerated “Mwah!” 

Keye dug under Maya’s bed and swiftly pulled out the tall bottle of vodka they had swiped from her dad’s liquor cabinet and flicked the lid off to take a swig. She grimaced and handed it out to Maya who eagerly took it and dunked it back dramatically, taking a larger glug than intended before sputtering and coughing. Keye burst into laughter and Beck’s joined in, grabbing the bottle and taking a small swig, ever the responsible one. 

As Maya ungracefully regained her composure and complained that she was going to need to reapply her lipgloss, her bedroom door swung open, revealing a tall, handsome man in his mid-forties, with long black swinging hair. He was covering his ears and looked annoyed. 

“Can you turn it down? PLEASE?!” he shouted. Keye was quick to push the volume down. Becks had expertly stowed the bottle under her baggy black sweater and was pretending not to notice Maya’s dad’s intrusion. 

“Sorry, dad,” Maya said, still coughing and covering her mouth. “Swallowed wrong.” She answered to his quirked eyebrow. 

“Don’t forget your curfew. Midnight, no later, understood?” He said firmly. Maya nodded agreeably. 

“Yes, midnight, got it! Thank yooou!” she replied in a sing-songy voice. 

“Behave yourselves,” he said as he pulled the door shut behind him. Maya immediately turned on her heel and quickly collided with Becks who’s eyes had gone wide. She fished under her shirt and produced the bottle of vodka and they each took another quick pull. 

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s gooo!” Keye said as Maya reapplied her lip gloss in the mirror with only one arm through her jacket. And with that, the three inseparable friends tumbled down the wide staircase and out the front door, shouting their goodbye’s to Maya’s parents as they went. The cool night air ushered them in. They could taste the wet promise of snow on the tips of their tongues as they inhaled chilly breaths, their arms threaded into one another’s as they charged down the lamp lit street toward their destination. 

“Do you think Kai will be there?” Keye prompted, pulling the bottle out of Beck’s hands as she took a drink, resulting in a squeal from her. 

“Ugh, I hope not, he’s such a douche. Are he and Sadie Guthrie still going at it?” Maya responded, pushing her breath out in huffs and making ghosts in the frosty air. 

“So they say,” Becks said waggling her eyebrows. Her short black hair was clipped back away from her beautiful round face. Her naturally ruby lips shone with the help of the gloss in the lamp light and her dark green eyes dazzled in the moonlight. Each of the girls was a varying shade of warm brown. Maya had the softest glow, with sunkissed russet skin that always looked like she had walked fresh off a warm beach even under the rainy overcast sky that plagued the rez. Becks was a shade warmer, the color of macadamia nut shell, and her bright vibrant smile was like a magnet whenever she laughed. Keye looked like her mother, with warm honey brown skin and red undertones that pooled warmth into her high cheekbones. Her dark brown eyes were swarmed by thick black lashes that always gave her a heavy lidded look. Her “come hither” eyes she always joked. 

The threesome was a sight and heralded by their classmates as exceptionally beautiful, which translated, naturally, to being well liked. 

“Are you still hung up on him?” Maya chided as she took a swig. The bottle was getting close to half empty. 

“I’m not ‘hung up’ on anything!” she protested. “Just looking for a little eye candy tonight. God, he’s good looking.” 

“Yeah well,” Maya said. 

“Oh pipe down, Virgin Maya,” Becks poked at her side and Maya squealed. “No one at this school is ever good enough, admit it.” 

“I’m admitting nothing. Your girl’s just got high standards is all.” To this, Becks rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah. Maybe that college dick will suit you better,” she replied. Maya almost choked on the last sip of vodka amidst her laughter. 

“Jesus, Becks!” Keye scolded playfully, “Give the girl a break, she aims high. Too high, but high nonetheless. You know what they say about aiming high?” Maya and Becks looked at her expectantly, “The farther and harder they fall.” 

“High standards, low morals, am I right ladies?” Maya yelled holding the bottle above her as they swayed off down the street together. The whole world opened up before them and they plunged headlong into the night, eager to see what awaited them on the other side. 

The party was at a small house down by the beach. The air coming off the crashing waves nearly choked with cold, but the buzz of activity in the house was inviting and flowing with alcohol to keep everyone warm. 

The girls made their rounds, checking in on some friends and being pulled into all too familiar hugs with some of the boys from school. Maya felt the finality of this evening upon them too quick. This was their last party before their final semester, before the crushing anxiety of college acceptance letters rolling in, the onslaught of finals, the inevitable change of life. 

Maya scanned the room, looking for anything that would catch her interest, but as usual, there wasn’t anyone she was truly interested in. Of course, she was attracted to plenty of the boys at school and a few of them over the years had even tried to take her out on dates, but she always lost interest a few weeks in, feeling that hollow pit in her stomach of something missing. Hilariously, this has earned her the moniker of the Tribal School’s biggest prude. But she always laughed it off—she’d know who she wanted when she saw them, she was sure of it. 

The night progressed while the girls drank the mystery mixture from their red solo cups and danced in the small living room with a throng of kids from school. At one put Keye disappeared and a few songs later, Maya was alerted when Becks squawked with delight and shock, pointing over Maya’s shoulder toward the far wall. Kai Pierce was wrapped around Keye, their lips smashed unceremoniously together when just a few hours ago, he had been similarly wrapped around Sadie Guthrie in the opposite corner. 

Maya, too drunk to feel disdain, barked out a laugh and tried to shout across the booming chorus of the music “Oh Jesus Keye! Com’ere!” But Keye was lost in the sweet forgetfulness of kissing your long time crush. Becks and Maya devolved into giggles, stumbling and splashing their drinks, when a loud crow of noise came from the front door. Two towering boys, one with their arm wrapped around a girl, walked in and let out a holler of joy to announce their presence. 

“Oh...oh my god,” Becks said surprised. Maya looked to her confused, her vision a little shaky now. She couldn’t place the two boys, their faces clearly that of a high school boys but their bodies were tall, hard and the muscular ones of men. It was kind of funny, actually. “Is that….Is that Jeremy Treever and Mica Blackfoot?” 

Maya did a double take. There was no way! Jeremy Treever had had a long time crush on Maya, that she knew very clearly, but when did he become so...enormous? Even by winter break standards, no one could bulk up that fast, let alone shoot up 8 inches. He towered over the heads of some of the others. Her eyes connected with his and he gave her a devilish grin before hollering over everyone’s heads and the thumping music. 

“Maya Sunriviere! Come here!” 

She didn’t really take kindly to being summoned so she dipped her head and took another drink from her cup, swinging her body behind Becks who looked pleasantly alarmed. Jeremy didn’t seem too perturbed and wove his way through the crowd easily. It helped that people kind of stumbled out of the way of his massive frame. 

“Oh god, he’s coming over here,” Maya said mortified to Becks. Becks returned Maya’s sentiment with wide eyes, trying to stifle a smile as Jeremy appeared over Maya’s shoulder. He tapped her on the shoulder and Maya, biting her lip, turned and gave the overly pleasant greeting of a woman taken off guard. “Oh my god! Jeremy, HI!” 

Jeremy chuckled at this, “Hi. What are you drinking?” he pointed to her solo cup. Maya held it up, confused and then squinted her eyes in trying to remember. 

“Mmmmm Quileute kid punch!” she said. “Everything a growing girl needs, you know?” 

“Yeah, let me grab us some more drinks. I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said, trying to retreat and solidify his night with her. Before he could get too far though, she shouted a retort.

“You know, metabolic steroids are really bad for you!” she yelled over the music. Was it getting incredibly hot in here? He laughed and Maya was momentarily transfixed by the sight of it. She recognized something familiar in there. Curious.  

“I’m just filling out Maya!” he yelled back over the music, clearly taking note of her interest, “I’ll be right back.” Before she could stop him, he had deftly moved away to the punch bowl. 

“We gotta go!” Maya said frantically. 

“What?! Why?! They’re hot.” Becks said. 

“Keye!” Maya swung around, looking back to the far wall. She was gone. “Keye!” Maya called out again looking around the room. She saw her just by the front door, being pulled by the hand out into the cold night. Maya saw an opportunity and took it. “Let’s go!” she yelled to Becks as she threaded through the crowd, Becks arm gripped firmly in her hand as she stumbled and laughed wheezing, “Jeez Maya! Slow down!” 

“Hey!” Jeremy called across the crowd, holding two cups in his hand and nearly stunned at the brush off. 

“My friend!” Maya called back, ever the polite cover up, “She...I gotta…” she didn’t finish as she snagged her coat from the rack by the door with her finger tips, delicately balanced the cup in her hand and grasping a stumbling Becks with the other. Before Jeremy could open his mouth to protest, they were out the door in the cool night air. “Where the fuck did she go?” Maya breathed. Becks had somewhat regained her feet under her, “Come on.” she said to Becks as she scanned the beach ahead. There were several dark figures milling about. One of them had to be Keye. 

Mostly, Maya was hoping to get out of sight of Jeremy, rather than crash Keye’s chance at getting lucky with Kai. Something had set off in her when Jeremy got near her and she wasn’t entirely sure what that was. Attraction? Couldn’t be, she knew what that felt like, but Jeremy was...different than the other guys thrashing around at the party. And she didn’t just mean his stature. 

She could have sworn that just before they left for winter break, he stood at eye level with her, the pudginess of a young kid still hanging on his bones. But now, he was all muscle-hard and she was pretty sure she saw a tattoo peeking out from under the right sleeve of his black t-shirt. His once long hair was shorn short and the usual round face was cut with hard angular lines that pronounced a spectacular jaw. 

As Maya and Becks made their way down the freezing beach, Maya tugged on her jacket and smooshed her side into Becks’. 

“Jeremy Treever is looking pretty fine, no?” Becks said between chattering teeth. “And who was with Mica? I don’t think I’ve seen her before.” 

“No clue,” Maya said, trying not to give anything away. Becks, ever perceptive, nudged her shoulder into Maya’s.

“Oh come on, he was nearly dripping onto you. That boy is a puddle when he’s around you,” she joked. 

“Not a boy anymore,” Maya was starting to get cold now too. She hated feeling cold and craved the warm summer sun. Her mom had always joked that Maya’s most natural state was lying in the sun, usually clad in as little a bikini top as she was allowed with cuffed jean shorts. “Where the hell did she go?” Keye had the incredible ability to disappear and reappear at a moment's notice. As they trudged down the beach, Maya heard her name bellow out behind her. 

“Hey Maya, wait up!” the ever persistent Jeremy was jogging up the beach toward her. Mica and his girlfriend were further down the beach taking their time. Maya sucked in a breath and tighted her grip on Becks. 

“You’re being dramatic. He’s cute, what’s the problem?!” Becks protested as Jeremy finally caught up with them, “Hey Jeremy. You sure do know where the gym is huh?” 

“Yeah, I had some free time this break.” He said nonchalantly, shrugging. 

“You must be freezing,” Maya said. Jeremy was only wearing a black and some dark jeans. 

“I run hot,” he said, meeting Maya’s gaze with a warm grin. 

“You sure do,” Becks said. Maya jutted her elbow into her side and Becks let out a cry. 

“What’s up?” Maya said, folding her arms across her chest and trying to conserve what little warmth she had left. 

“Uhh,” Jeremy seemed lost for words now that he had her attention, “How was your break?” He put a hand behind his head, scratching it. Maya gave a gentle smile but looked around the beach and replied cheerfully. 

“My break? Uhh, yeah it was good. Ready to knock this semester out and move on.” 

“Oh yeah, for sure,” an awkward silence ensued and Becks was trying her best to hold it together next to Maya. Unfortunately, this was a common occurrence for their group. A lot of the boys in their class and even some lower classmen would try to talk to them sometimes. Maya was the best at it. She was always genuine and kind, and never tried to throw anyone off unless they were being an absolute ass for clout. That was usually easy to spot. Keye was a little more direct and brushed people off easily. Becks typically changed the conversation to something academic or community related and they often lost interest. 

“Listen, uhh,” Jeremy was shifting his weight from foot to foot, his hands now shoved deep in his jean pockets. “I was wondering, I mean once we get back into the swing of things at school if you maybe wanted to...I don’t know, go—” It was about to happen. He was going to ask her on a date. Becks was green next to Maya and as Maya opened her mouth to respond accordingly to the invite she knew was coming, Becks doubled over and vomited on the sand at their feet. 

“Oh fuck!” Maya said, immediately moving to grab Beck’s short hair so it wouldn’t drop into her face. Jeremy had jumped back in alarm but was now seemingly concerned. 

“Jeez is she okay?” he said. 

“Just drunk I think. Becks. BECKS! Blink twice if you’re gonna puke again,” Maya said. Becks gave an ungodly moan of despair and Jeremy looked at Maya in alarm. 

“What does that mean?” He said. 

“It means I need to get her home. Can you find Keye? She’s making out with Kai somewhere,” Maya muttered, not really looking up. Suddenly though, Keye appeared. 

“Good god, Becks, not again.” she said. 

“Not helpful, Keye,” Maya said as they both hoisted Becks up and started off toward Maya’s house again. 

“Impeccable timing Becks,” Maya said somewhat relieved. Behind her, Jeremy shouted “I’ll see you at school!” Becks continued to groan and they carried her away up the dark street stumbling as they went. 

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Thirty Four

What the council expects

The end of summer always leaves me feeling a little sad. The trees droop under the exhaustion of heat and the flowers exhale their last push of petals before they will inevitably return back to the earth. Animals start gathering and working for winter. Still, the death of summer leaves no sweet taste in my mouth. The warm nights and long days give way to chilly nights and cold slush rain that grips your feet. But warmth is never far from me anymore.

The flight back to Seattle was comfortable with Paul sitting next to her. Maya slept most of the way home, not wanting to seem like she was trying to listen in on the on and off conversation Becks and Jacob were having with one another. It seemed that they were easily warming up to one another thanks to the magic of the imprint.

Maya was trying to do what Paul told her and let Becks take the lead on this but something continued to gnaw at her long after the frowns and irritation ebbed from Jacob’s demeanor. The question still hung in the air for her: Why did he leave with the cold ones? It made her worry for Becks, and worry what Jacob was capable of in the future.

Paul kissed her forehead and squeezed her arm to wake her once the plane started to land. Maya rubbed her eyes and looked at Paul sleepily. He extended his broad hand and cupped her cheek, caressing it softly with his calloused thumb.

“Just one last bit and then we’re home,” he said. Maya nodded and yawned. She looked over her shoulder and saw that Becks was asleep on Jacob’s shoulder and his head was leaned gently on top of hers, his eyes closed in apparent sleep. Maya let a nervous shiver run through her and threaded her fingers through Paul’s. He was looking out the window so he hadn’t seen the frown pull over her face when she watched Jacob and Becks for a moment.

After they had taken the short biplane back to the Quileute local airport, they were greeted by Embry and Quil. Maya couldn’t help but smile at the two men who had eager smiles stretched over their faces.

Embry had brought Paul’s forerunner and Quil had brought his refurbished land rover to help get everyone home.

“Keye? You need a ride?” Maya asked as Paul climbed into the driver’s seat. Keye shot Embry a look and he grinned back wildly.

“Nah, I’m good,” she shrugged and walked over to Quil’s car. Jacob was giving Becks a quick hug and tugging off his shirt as he and Quil jogged off toward the edge of the woods. Maya pursed her lips and sunk into the passenger seat, watching Becks through the windshield. Becks gave her a small wave and then climbed into the backseat of the land rover as Paul reversed and steered he and Maya toward home.

Maya leaned her head against her hand and stared out the window. Paul’s cell rang and he glanced at Maya, lost in her thoughts, before he answered.

“Hey Michael. Yeah, we just got back to La Push. Maya and I are headed back to the house. Did you get the estimates from Henrikson yet?” he asked.

As Paul started talking business with Michael on the other end, Maya let her mind wander as she tried again to figure out what Jacob’s motivations were to leaving La Push for so long.

Had it been love? Desperation? He’d broken off from Sam’s pack which had isolated him, but for what purpose did he want to leave in the first place? She couldn’t place why he even would have needed to break away from his pack. They were stronger together. And then there was Leah Clearwater. Maya had never met her but Seth and her seemed close enough. He never avoided her as a topic of conversation at pack dinners. Still, she and Seth had joined Jacob and only Seth had come back. What did that mean for Leah? Maya glanced at Paul and tried to conceal any emotion that would give her away. She wondered if Paul would tell her what the deal was with Leah, let alone Jacob.

When they arrived at the house, Paul was still on the phone with Michael. He gave Maya an exasperated look and nodded her toward the front door while he went around to the trunk to grab her suitcase for her. Maya unlocked the front door and breathed in the familiar smell of her home. She pulled off her sandals and let out a sigh as she walked upstairs to their bedroom. She plugged in her phone and immediately lit up with a new text message.

Emily: Welcome home! Pack dinner is this Thursday. Can you and Paul make it? :)

Maya let a small smile creep over her face and checked her and Paul’s calendar. He wasn’t leaving for Seattle for another week so they could easily swing it.

Maya: Thank you! And yes, we’ll be there. Good to be home.

She tossed her phone on the bed and wandered toward the shower. After relaxing her tense muscles under the hot water, Maya finished up. She was surprised Paul hadn’t come in to join her but upon entering the bedroom, she saw him propped up against the headrest, his broad muscled chest on display and his laptop on his lap. Maya plopped down on her stomach in the bed next to him only wrapped in a towel. He glanced at her and then quickly back to his screen.

“Just a second,” he said quickly. Maya groaned and laid her head down on the mattress.

“Pack dinner is this Thursday,” Maya mumbled into the mattress. For a moment all she heard was the clacking of his computer keys and then,

“To welcome the new imprint,” he said easily. Maya’s eyes shot open wide and she leaned up on her forearms to look at him in shock.

“I didn’t even think about that,” she said, stunned. Paul glanced at her worriedly.

“Don’t think about it too much,” he said, perturbed. Maya made a sound of annoyance and dropped her head back onto the mattress. Becks was the new imprint. That was such a weird thing for her to grasp. It was true but the last two weeks felt like a weird dream to Maya. When Paul finally slapped his laptop closed Maya leaned back up resting her chin in her hands.

“So what’s his deal?” Maya bridged. Paul rubbed his eyes and then looked at her, a tired expression on his face.

“What do you mean?” he finally answered with a sigh.

“Jacob. What’s his story? Why did he become a one-man pack?” Maya probed. Paul looked at her carefully and then shook his head.

“It’s a long story,” he answered. Maya frowned. “Not tonight, please. I’d love to talk about literally anything else other than Jacob and this mess of an imprint. Please,” he said. Maya rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Okay, like what?” she shot back. Paul leveled her with a wanting stare. Maya felt the heat rush to her cheeks and he gave a little smirk of triumph.

“Like...how great your ass looks in a bikini. Or how we still have to get everything together for your move in less than a month. Or how Keye is definitely sleeping her way through the pack,” Maya laughed at that last one. “Anything else.” Paul said sarcastically. Maya sighed and looked at Paul with narrowed eyes for a second sizing him up.

“But like, he just left?!” she said. Paul groaned loudly and before Maya could laugh, he lunged for her making her shriek. He grabbed her by the forearms and pulled her up toward him, yanking the towel that covered her damp body off of her.

“Enough,” he said softly, giving her a charged look. Maya tilted her head in challenge and the mischievous light in Paul’s eyes ignited. He could tell now that she was messing with him but instead of letting her go he tightened his grip on her forearms and brought her face close to his, letting his lips lightly trace across her lips. “Get on your knees and face the headboard,” he said softly with a growl. Maya shivered trying to move her face closer to feel his lips press onto hers, but he held her at bay, “Now.” he loosened his grip on her arms and Maya shuffled her body so that she sat up on her knees and faced the headboard. Paul got up and took his briefs off before coming up behind her. Maya felt him hard against her ass cheeks. He pressed his chest to her back letting his length rest between her legs as he wound his arms around her stomach. One hand came up to take her breast in his hand, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Maya opened her mouth in surprise and let out a gasp of air. His other hand snaked down between her legs and spread her folds. Maya let out a relieved groan and Paul's mouth came to her shoulder biting gently.

“Let’s just focus on us for a bit,” he demanded. Maya nodded and when he tugged at her nipple, she let out a cry of ecstasy. Maya opened her legs wider for him as he dipped a finger into her. She threw her head back against his shoulder and he sucked at the pulse point on her neck gently. Maya bucked her hips against his hand and when she begged for him, he wrenched his fingers from her and leaned her forward so that her upper body and face were pressed into the headboard. He lined himself up with her center and slid inside of her with a pleased groan. He steadied her with his hand on her shoulder and another on her hip as he guided her forward and back onto himself. Maya squeezed her eyes shut as pain and pleasure simultaneously shot through her. He’d only ever been this deep inside of her once before. As he slapped against her, his grunts becoming more feverish, Maya braced herself against the headboard.

“Cum for me, Maya,” he said in a gravelly voice as he edged himself. Maya sucked in a breath and said,

“I don’t think I can, you’re so deep.” At this, Paul slowed his pace, wrapping his arm around her chest and pulling her up so that her arched back was pressed against his chest.

“Of course you can, baby,” he said gently, kissing on her neck now. The hand that had squeezed and pulled at her hip floated between her thighs again and started to expertly rub at her sensitive nub. Maya, thoroughly overstimulated, placed a hand behind her to rest on Paul’s thigh. He stilled his thrusting and worked gently at her now. “Move when you’re ready,” he commanded. Maya could feel him twitch inside of her and after a couple of minutes of his hand stroking her, Maya raised and lowered herself onto him at a slow and steady pace. He groaned when she started to move but didn’t move his hips forward, letting her set the pace for them.

Soon, Maya was panting, rocking and rolling her hips against Paul’s as she finally reached her end. When she did, she collapsed forward onto the bed, the side of her face connecting with the mattress. Paul, still behind her, gripped her hips and started to thrust into her again so he could finish too. It didn’t take him long with her in this position and with one final thrust that made Maya’s eyes roll into the back of her head, he filled her.

When he pulled out of her, Maya collapsed flat on the bed, panting, and letting the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through her body. Paul laid down on his back next to her and immediately pulled her body halfway over his, wrapping his arms warmly around her and kissing the top of her head. Maya nestled her face into his neck and planted a soft kiss there eliciting a hum of satisfaction from him.

“You and me, My,” Paul said in a low voice. Maya’s breathing evened out and she felt sleep take her slowly.

“You and me,” she said barely above a whisper before she drifted off to sleep. The last thing she heard was the click of his bedside lamp as he turned it off, washing them in darkness.

The next morning, Maya sat with her feet tucked up under her on the bench seat at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee as Paul made them breakfast. Maya was scrolling through the messages in her group chat with Becks and Keye but neither of them had said anything. Maya glanced up at Paul’s naked back for a moment as he busied himself over some eggs before she typed a message directly to Becks.

M: Everything okay?

Maya stared at her phone until she saw the three little dots appear from Becks. She took forever to respond to Maya’s text and when she did, she hit her with a simple, Yes. Maya scoffed audibly and her eyes darted to Paul’s form. He didn’t turn to look at her though so Maya continued.

M: Yes? Are you coming to the pack dinner on Thursday? Pretty sure Emily’s throwing it for you…

Becks: Yeah, I’m going.

M: Are you free today? Do you want to go to Port Angeles and pick out dorm stuff?

Maya wanted to believe Becks when she said she was okay, but without her in front of her, there was no way to know. Still, even if she wasn’t okay, Maya wasn’t sure what she could do about it. The imprint had decided her fate, both of their fates, but she hoped the Becks hadn’t given up the course of her life just yet. Maya stared at her phone waiting for Becks to answer.

“My,” Paul said, snapping her from her laser focus. He was standing next to her, holding her plate. Maya looked up at him and gave him a small smile. She leaned back and he set the plate down in front of her before sitting across from her. Maya checked her phone again. Paul glanced at it too and then watched her face. “What are you up to today?”

Maya sighed and picked up her fork, pushing her eggs around her plate, “I don’t know yet. I was thinking about taking Becks to Port Angeles to look for dorm room stuff.” She glanced up and saw Paul was actively not looking at her, an unreadable look on his face.

“Why don’t you ask Sadie or Keye to go with you instead?” he said cryptically, clearly keeping his voice as even and calm as possible. Maya narrowed her eyes and put a scoop of scrambled eggs in her mouth.

“Because I asked Becks to go,” Maya said stubbornly. Paul looked at her now, that cool mask still in place.

“Becks should probably stay on the rez for a bit,” he said. Maya set her fork down with a clatter.

“Why?!” Maya said already amped. Paul sighed and tucked into his food more. When Paul didn’t answer, Maya pressed, “Paul?”

“Jesus, My,” Paul said with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. Maya raised her eyebrows at him in surprise and he looked at her apologetically, “The council wants to meet with Jacob and Becks today.”

“About what?” Maya asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. Paul shrugged, “Oh please, you know.” She pushed away from the table, leaving her food mostly untouched and Paul followed her with his eyes.

Maya climbed the stairs to their bedroom and tried to calm down. She was so thrown off by everyone’s calm resignation to Jacob and Becks’ imprint, but something about it irked Maya. Was she projecting? Or was it just intense worry for Becks? Her friends had watched her go through the turmoil of her imprint with Paul and she just didn’t want that for Becks. It had been enough for Maya to go through it. Plus, Jacob felt so unpredictable to Maya that it worried her even more.

She needed to get some distance from it, at least for a little while. Becks hadn’t texted her back and she took that as her answer. Maya donned some cuffed jean shorts, a black lace bralette and a loose fitting cropped cardigan that buttoned at the front. It was a little more revealing than she would normally opt for to visit Port Angeles, but if she was being honest, she didn’t really care. After pulling on her sneakers and grabbing her bag by the front door, she scooped up the keys to Paul’s forerunner. The house was quiet, which meant Paul was out in his workshop. Maya stomped out to the car and slid into the driver’s seat determined to get the hell out of here just for a little bit, just to clear her head. Once she shoved the key into the ignition, she paused, glaring at the front of the house.

With a groan, she hopped back out, leaving the door open and cutting back around the house. Just because Maya was a stubborn mess at the moment didn’t mean Paul deserved to worry. When she rounded the corner to the backyard, she saw him bent over a piece and hand planing the edges in slow, measured movements. As she crossed the backyard he spotted her and stood straight, glancing down to brush off the excess shavings.

“I’m heading to Port Angeles for a bit,” Maya said. Paul looked at her carefully.

“With who?”

“Myself,” Maya said, her lips in a firm line, “I just need to clear my head.” Paul stepped around the table, dropping the hand planing tool. Maya crossed her arms in front of her, a frown coming to her face quickly. Paul laughed and placed his rough hands on her cheeks.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he said gently, his warm eyes causing her to melt. She dropped her arms and placed her hands on his sides. Maya thought about it for a moment. It would be nice to have Paul as company but she really did need some space.

“No, it’s okay. I won’t be gone for very long,” she promised. He kissed her forehead and nodded.

“Okay. Keep your phone on you.” he said with an edge of seriousness to his voice.

“Mmhmm,” she complied. When he let his hands fall from her face she gave him a small wave and headed back toward the car. She thought she heard him on his cell phone for a brief moment before she was too far away to hear but as she slid back into the driver’s seat and took off down the main road leading out of La Push, she rolled the windows down and let the air blow her worrying thoughts away.

Once she got to Port Angeles, Maya felt an invisible weight lift off of her unexpectedly. She already felt a little better and she was honestly surprised that Paul let her disappear to Port Angeles alone. It felt freeing, like a sign of things to come.

She spent the rest of the morning in and out of home decor shops around town picking out a new sheet set, duvet, lamp, shelving, and some small decorations. Once the afternoon hit, Maya wound her way through some local boutiques, picking up some new pieces for her wardrobe before stopping at the Wharf for some lunch.

When she checked her phone as she sat at the bar of one of the restaurants tucked into a corner of the Wharf, she was blissfully surprised to see no new notifications. She sent Paul a text to tell him she was having lunch and would be heading home soon and thanked him for the space.

Paul: Of course. Can you do me a favor and pick up a part for me? I’ll send you the directions and tell them you’re coming. Would save me a trip.

Maya: Yeah, I’ll grab it on my way back.

Maya had been engrossed in her phone that she didn’t even realize the disheveled looking man who had plopped down next to her. The bar was mostly empty except for Maya, the bartender and an elderly gentleman at the other end of the bar, but this man decided to sit in the seat directly next to her. Maya let out a breath and tried not to internally groan. The man looked like he was in his late twenties and worked down by the docks. He was in light blue coveralls and his face was smudged with grease.

Maya shut her phone and turned back to her beer and food trying to give off as much of a prickly vibe as possible. After he’d ordered a drink, he turned to Maya and gave her an overconfident smile.

“I haven’t seen you in the Wharf before,” he said. His voice was grating with a little rasp like he had a cold. Maya sipped her beer and nodded, giving no verbal answer, and hoping he would take the hint. Unfortunately, this seemed to have the opposite effect. “I’m Rick, but my friends call me Dick.” He gave her a sickening smile and Maya raised her eyebrows trying to hide her obvious disgust. The beer on his breath did nothing to mask the sour smell emanating from his mouth and his constant glance down her cardigan to her breasts made her skin crawl. “Let me buy you a drink.” He said, turning toward the bar.

“No thanks, I’m heading out anyway,” Maya said hurriedly. Her beer wasn’t even half finished and her food sat mostly uneatened. He had ignored her though and already called out to the bartender by name. Maya tried to make uncomfortable eye contact with the bartender to show she wasn’t interested in another drink, but her look went unnoticed.

“Here you go, little lady,” he said in a condescending voice, setting the amber liquid in front of her. Maya started at it as if she didn’t know what it was.

“Thank you but I’m not really thirsty,” she said. He gave a chuckle and placed his hand on her thigh just above her knee. Maya froze, her eyes wide with shock as she volleyed between standing up and throwing the drink on him or punching him in the face. Both didn’t seem like easy exit options.

“Ah, come on, just one drink. I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” he said greedily, squeezing her leg now. Just as Maya opened her mouth to tell him off and yank his hand off of her, a large warm body squeezed into the bar between them causing the man Rick to withdraw his hand. Maya felt the familiar warmth radiate off the man’s arm that barred Rick from her.

“This for me?” the warm voice said, humor dripping from it.

“Hey man!” Rick started as the familiar face reached for the untouched beer and started to heartily gulp it down, “I’m in the middle of something!”

“Ah, no you’re not,” he shot back with a laugh. Rick bristled and stood up annoyed. “I suggest you go sit at the other end of the bar now.” He said with a sharp tone Maya had never heard from him before. She couldn’t see the look he gave Rick but it was enough to have him skittering off down toward the end of the bar.

“Embry, what the fuck,” Maya breathed as he sat in the now empty chair vacated by Rick. “What are you doing here?” She didn’t try to hide the grateful tone in her voice as her eyes washed over the warm and endearing face of Embry Call. He gave her a sneaky smile and a shrug before saying.

“I was in the area picking up a part for my truck.” He said nonchalantly. Maya’s eyes softened and she let out a sigh of relief. “Looks like I made it in the knick of time.” he said, nudging her shoulder with his and gulping down the rest of the beer.

“I would have been fine,” Maya countered, tucking back into her food. Embry sneaked a fry off of her plate and popped it in his mouth.

���Maybe,” he said, taking another fry. Maya pushed the plate between them and held her beer up to her lips.

“This works out perfect for me because I promised to pick up a part for Paul, so we can go together,” she said warmly. Embry shot her a strange look and then nodded.

“Absolutely!” he said back. Maya watched him carefully for a moment and then took a chance.

“You’re friends with Jacob, yeah?” Embry shot her a sidelong look and laughed.

“Yeah, he’s one of my best friends. I’ve known him my whole life,” he said calmly.

“And now?” Maya probed, eating a french fry.

“And now what?” Embry said, confused.

“What do you think of him now after he took off for years? Is he still your best friend?”

“Of course he is,” Embry said but there was a secret edge to his voice that Maya picked up on. “Jake has had a lot of weird shit happen to him in his life. Him imprinting on Becks is probably the least weird thing to happen.”

“What kind of weird stuff?” Maya saw her chance to get answers about this mysterious man who she didn’t trust from an unlikely source and chanced it.

“Well, I mean the whole shifting to alpha when he was 17 was kind of wild to start. Protecting the Cullens. Falling in love with Bella, which I guess wasn’t weird at the time but even after she chose Edward he still couldn’t let it go.” Embry said, not trying to hide anything. It was refreshing. Maya’s mouth hung open in disbelief at the amount of information he just poured onto her in five seconds, “What?” he said, taken aback.

“Nothing, I—” Maya shook her head, “He was in love with her? Bella?” she said the name uncertainly. “Is she a—?” Embry gave a snort and looked at the empty glass in front of him.

“She is now.” he replied darkly.

“Why would he go with them? I don’t get it,” Maya barely whispered. Embry shrugged, clearly hurt by Jacob’s actions as well.

“He did what he needed to do at the time. I don’t know if it was necessarily the right thing or the best thing, but he felt like he needed to do it,” Embry said, “I don’t hold it against him. I’m just happy to have him back.” Maya smiled and put a hand on Embry’s shoulder.

“Of course,” she said, “He is...back, isn’t he? The old him I mean? The Jacob you knew?” Maya seemed to trust Embry’s judgement of Jacob.

“I don’t know if it’s the same Jacob, but parts of him are there. I see small slivers of it when he’s with Becks. So that’s a good sign,” he finished, “Come on, we better get moving, the parts store is gonna close soon.” Maya looked over her shoulder and saw the sleepy light of the afternoon upon them. She set some cash down on the counter and with one more scathing look down the bar at Rick, she followed Embry out.

Embry drove them to the parts shop, knowing the way better than Maya and when they entered the shop, she smiled at the man at the counter.

“I’m picking up for Paul Lahote,” she said sweetly. The man gave her a gentle smile and nod.

“One second, Maya,” he said. Maya smiled at the comfort at which she felt from this stranger addressing her by name, knowing that Paul had let him know she was coming.

“Do you want to tell him what you need?” Maya asked over her shoulder at Embry who stood with his hands on his hips. He scrunched up his face and gave a quick,

“Nah!”

But before Maya could question him further, the shopkeep was back with a box that held the requested part. She gave him a soft thank you and carried it out to the car. Embry climbed back into the driver’s seat and took them off down the road back toward La Push.

“Needed a part huh?” Maya said knowingly as she stared out the windshield. Embry rubbed the back of his neck and threw her a smile.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, giving her a noncommittal answer.

“He’s unbelievable,” Maya muttered, referring to Paul. It was clear now that he had sent Embry to watch her just in case.

“Hey, I came in pretty clutch though, you gotta admit!” he teased. Maya rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but smile. “Paul is gonna freak when he sees that that creep touched you though,” Embry said resigned. Maya looked over at him confused, “Wolf telepathy, remember?” Embry answered.

Maya threw her head back against the headrest and groaned. This would definitely confirm to Paul that he wasn’t being overbearing by sending someone to look after her now that something had definitely happened.

When they pulled into her driveway, Embry looked over at her and said softly,

“Go easy on him.” Maya shot him a look of mock shock.

“Hey, I’m super chill!” she said sarcastically. This made Embry howl with laughter as he stumbled from the car and deposited the keys in her hand. She pulled him in for a quick hug and thanks before bounding off toward the front door. When she made it through the front door, quickly kicking off her shoes and dropping the keys on the table, she noticed Paul’s massive form blocking the light coming in from the back door as he stood outside on the porch. She walked over and pulled the door open and he turned in surprise.

“Hey,” he said softly. She smiled up at him and then noticed two people sitting on the deck on the patio couch.

“Hey,” Maya let her eyes rest on Jacob and Becks sitting together, Jacob’s arm was thrown casually along the back of the couch behind Becks. Becks looked like she had been crying. “What’s going on?” she asked softly, setting her hand in Paul’s.

“They had a less than pleasant conversation with the council today,” Paul said, controlled anger thick in his voice. Maya looked up at him with a worried look on her face and he gave her a soft, reassuring smile.

“Becks?” Maya said, looking at her. She could see her face was plump and red from crying.

“They can say whatever they want, it’s not going to change our plans.” Jacob said firmly.

“I’m missing something,” Maya muttered looking from Jacob to Becks to Paul. Paul hesitated and then looked down at Maya.

“They asked Becks to stay in La Push,” Paul said gently. Maya’s eyes went wide in shock.

“What?” her voice was colored in disbelief. Becks brought a hand to her face, fresh tears falling now. Jacob leaned forward and grabbed the glass of water that was there holding it out to her. She took it and sipped. “What the fuck does that mean?” Maya said, growing angry.

“Easy,” Paul said, sliding a hand around her waist and pulling her to him tightly.

“It doesn’t fucking matter what it means, it’s not going to happen. She’s going to Northwestern, and I’m going to stay here. That should keep them happy,” Jacob shot back, matching Maya’s anger. Maya looked at him, grateful to have an ally in this at least. She gave him a nod and they shared a look of understanding.

“But why would she stay here? What good would that do?” Maya asked the question to Jacob and he shut his eyes tightly, clearly annoyed. Paul shifted next to her.

“They believe that if Becks stays, her and Jacob’s relationship will progress faster,” Paul continued in a calm, knowing tone. Maya was livid. They were doing the same thing to Becks and Jacob that they had done to her and Paul—putting so much pressure on them to be together at the start for their own weird agenda.

“My dad asked me when the wedding was,” Jacob scoffed and then looked sadly at Becks.

“Jesus!” Maya said, almost pulling out of Paul’s grasp to cross the deck and comfort Becks. But before she could, Jacob was already there leaning in and comforting her, placing his broad hand on her knee, and bending his neck down so he could meet her eyes.

“Nothing changes, Becks,” he said to her gently. Becks nodded at him, holding his gaze before she looked at Maya.

“Do you guys want to stay for dinner?” Maya said hopeful. Becks smiled and Jacob brightened at the look on her face.

“Sure,” she said. Paul leaned down and kissed Maya’s temple.

“I’ll help,” he said, guiding her back into the house to give Jacob and Becks a minute.

They settled on roasting some chicken and potatoes, and while Paul and Maya worked seamlessly together in the kitchen Maya glanced out onto the porch where the couple leaned into one another clearly having an intense conversation.

“Why does the council always think they can butt in like this? It’s fucking weird and archaic.” Maya asked, cutting the potatoes. Paul was seasoning the chicken he had spatchcocked and laid out on a roasting pan.

“I think Chief Black feels like he has more control over Jacob because it’s his son. Whereas other members of the pack defer mostly to Sam’s input.” Maya gave him a sidelong look as realization dawned on her. “Plus, they’re all dying for us to have kids. The fact that just Sam and Emily have only had kids at this point bothers them.” Maya scoffed and shook her head.

“That’s ridiculous. They really need to get out of the baby business. We’ll have kids when we’re ready,” she said. Paul turned his head and gave her a soft look. “What?” she asked, confused.

“Do you want to have kids?” he asked in a curious voice. Maya was taken aback by the question. She dropped the cut potatoes around the chicken on the baking sheet and looked up at him sweetly.

“With you?” she teased. Paul laughed.

“I mean, I hope,” he said. Maya paused and let a smile bloom across her face before she continued.

“Yeah, I do. Only with you though,” she teased. He leaned down and kissed her lips before sliding the pan into the oven.

“Good,” he said simply. But Maya could tell that he swelled up with joy at just the thought of having kids with her. Before she could tease him about it though, he washed his hands and turned to her, resting against the counter and crossing his arms, “I need to run something by you.”

“What’s that?” Maya said, washing her hands and drying them off on the kitchen towel.

“Jacob needs to stay here for awhile. It would take the pressure off of him getting out of his dad’s house while he figures out where to live and gets his garage up and running,” Paul said matter-of-factly. “Would you be okay with that?”

“Of course!” Maya said, “You don’t need to ask my permission, this is your house.” Paul raised an eyebrow at her and crossed the kitchen taking her in his arms.

“This is our house,” he emphasized. Maya chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Oh right,” she brushed off.

“No, My. This is our house. Yours and mine,” Paul said.

“I know, I know. Our house. You just happened to build it and pay for it and maintain it,” she said, patting his chest. He kissed her forehead.

“Yeah, but you’re on the title so technically you own it,” he let his arms fall from around her and stepped back with a smug smirk as he went to the fridge to grab a few beers, heading toward the porch.

“Wait what?! When did you do that?!” Maya said. Paul shrugged and pushed open the back door. She followed him out with a smile. This man.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time —Six

Set out the welcome mat..

Word count: 4,761

Content warning: Slow burn, fake dating (not with Paul)

Whenever I had the dream, I always felt like I could remember everything. I remember the trees and the wind and the smell of pine and red alder trees. The wet loamy earth was like stepping on pillows. I always know where to go to get to the cliff. And I always know that the wolf will be waiting. Each time I’d reach the tree line that opened out onto the jutted edge of rock that formed the cliff, I’d hesitate, thinking: Maybe this time I won’t walk through or Maybe this time the wolf won’t be there and I’ll be alone up here. I never make the decision to walk out onto the cliff. I'm suddenly just there, and the wolf is always there before me, it’s dark chocolate eyes sizing me up. I take another step forward and reach my hand out as if to touch him but I’m still too far away…

The drive to Third Beach trailhead took about 15 minutes from Maya’s home. At first, the drive was very quiet. Paul stared straight ahead out the windshield, intent on keeping his eyes only on the road. Maya shifted in her seat and preemptively pulled on her gloves.

“Are you cold? I can turn up the heat,” Paul said gently reaching for the vent controls.

“No, I’m okay,” Maya said looking at him now.

“I run pretty hot, so I don’t really notice the cold,” he explained. Maya watched his mouth as he spoke and then trained her gaze out the windshield.

“You’re the second person to say that,” she said with a light laugh. Paul raised an eyebrow and Maya answered his unspoken question, “Jeremy said the same thing.”

“Oh, right,” he said.

“Speaking of,” Maya took a chance, casting a sideways glance at Paul. His gaze darted from her to the road curiously. “What’s with all the favors?”

“What do you mean?” he said, clearly confused. For a hot second, Maya thought that Jeremy might actually have been playing her.

“Jeremy..checking on me. He said he was doing it for you?” Maya said tentatively, a blush slowly forming on her cheeks. If she was wrong about this she was going to be so embarrassed.

“Oh, that,” Paul said, a sly smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. She thought for a minute he might apologize but after a brief pause he just shrugged and said, “This imprint thing can be intense, so I wanted to give you some space. But I’m also not that great at space.”

At least he was honest, she thought.

“I see..well for the future, you can just check on me yourself. I like Jeremy, but having him glued to me 24/7 is kind of suffocating,” she had no idea where all this honesty was coming from. Maya was very confident when talking to people, but she was also very considerate of others feelings, which meant she would generally keep things to herself if she felt like it might hurt their feelings or come off too strong. But with Paul, she didn’t feel the need to hold back.

“Noted,” he said with a warm smile in her direction. “Anywhere outside of school, I’ll take care of myself.” Maya rolled her eyes at this. He was basically telling her that Jeremy was still going to keep an eye on her in school without explicitly saying so.

They made it to the trailhead and Maya hopped out of Paul’s white forerunner and pulled up the hood of her raincoat. It had started to drizzle.

“You sure you’re not going to need a coat?” she said skeptically to Paul. The rain was already starting to make his hair slick.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Let’s go, I want to show you something,” he said motioning toward the forest with his head.

They started down the path together walking side by side. Conversation came easily, she noticed. He asked her about her plans for college, her friends, what she liked to do on the weekends, even her favorite color. Maya buzzed with warmth, and the close proximity to Paul also made her stomach flip. Whenever he stole a glance at her, or stood behind her as she climbed over a fallen log, she couldn’t help but feel a little lightheaded. Dizzy even.

As they trudged up the path, Maya interjected, “Okay, you’ve asked me a million questions, I want to ask you some.” She saw his jaw clench but he tried to seem open and nodded anyway.

“Shoot,” he said. Maya paused for a minute, every question flitted out of her head.

“I actually can’t think of any now,” Maya admitted, blushing. Paul let out a barking laugh and glanced at her.

“Fair enough,” he said. “It’s up here.” Continuing up through the trees, Maya could see a clearing up ahead. She hadn’t really been paying attention to her surroundings, but now as she followed the narrow path Paul cut ahead for them, she got a crushing sense of deja vu.

As Paul pushed through the trees, Maya gasped. Her eyes roamed around the clearing and she realized that she was standing on the same cliff that she found herself in in her dreams. The same cliff with the wolf. Paul walked ahead of her and out onto the narrow jutting rock that hung over the edge of the cliff. The dark, roiling waves churned below. Maya was frozen to the spot. Paul turned to look back at her and again she was plagued with that overwhelming feeling of deja vu. Paul stood in the same place that the tan wolf always stood. The sky behind him mimicked the off color one that tinged the daylight with blue in her dreams.

“I come here a lot,” he said suddenly, looking at her intensely. Maya still hadn’t moved, her feet firmly planted to the ground. “It’s actually kind of peaceful.” He looked back out over the waves and then back to her, noticing that she was still glued to the treeline. His eyes were suddenly etched with worry. “Oh shit, I didn’t even ask if you were afraid of heights. Are you?”

Maya couldn’t find it in her to answer, her voice had been melted away by the shock so instead she just shook her head slowly.

“You okay?” he said, taking a step toward her. She swallowed hard and yelled at herself to pull it together.

“Ye-yeah, sorry,” she managed. Maya took one step forward and then stopped. Paul’s eyes darted down to her feet.

“You sure?” he asked skeptically and taking a couple steps toward her again. Maya nodded. “Come look,” he offered his hand out to her and she felt a rush move through her body. In the dream, she’d never gotten this far and for some reason, it felt like a huge moment to take this step in real life. She scanned her eyes up to connect with his, feeling that familiar anchoring sensation ground down through her and then she reached her hand out to connect with his. He clasped it firmly in his and pulled her forward toward the edge of the cliff.

His palm was searing with heat and she could feel it radiate through her woolen gloves. As she peered out over the edge, she let out an excited squeal followed by a huff of breath. “Wow!” she said. They were much higher up than she had anticipated and just the thought of the sheer drop to the ocean below sent a thrill through her. Paul looked pleased.

“Pretty cool huh?” He still held onto her hand tightly and pointed to some landmarks that ran along the beach edge that they could see from the cliffs. They stood out on the cliffs for a long time until Maya startled sniffling and Paul thought they should head back to the warm car. He let go of her hand once they were safely back in the treeline. She wondered what it would feel like to hold his hand without the interference of her gloves. To feel his skin on hers. The thought of it sent a wave of excitement through her and settled in her belly.

They talked all the way back to Maya’s house and when he pulled up into her driveway, Maya was a little disappointed to have arrived back so soon. Wanting just a little more time, she turned in her seat and looked at him.

“Paul?” she said tentatively.

“Maya.” he replied warmly.

“I thought of a question to ask you,” she said. He nodded for her to go ahead, “Chief Black said that the imprint defines the relationship. Do you think that’s true?”

Not expecting this question, Paul opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before saying, “Yes. You get to decide what the role of this bond is, not me. The imprint is based on protection, meaning it’s meant to make me want to protect you and as an extension, the tribe. Not that I need an incentive…” he trailed off and then suddenly realized what he had said when Maya’s face fell. “No, I didn’t mean..fuck,” he said. “Maya, you’re more than an incentive for me.”

She nodded, still not completely sold. “Okay. I’ve been thinking about it. And it would be really great if we could just be...friends.” Maya bit her lower lip in anticipation. Would he be angry? He couldn’t be if he believed that the imprint sets the relationship. The look on his face was unreadable, it was just as if he was considering what she said. “Is….is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you want,” he said. She nodded and satisfied with his answer, she popped open her door and jumped down.

“Thanks for today,” she said, turning back to him. He was still looking at her with that completely stone-faced look.

“Anytime” he said shortly before she gave him one last smile before shutting the door and hurrying up the porch steps. He stayed until she made it inside and she gave him one last wave before she closed the front door.

Once shut, Maya leaned against the front door and let out a sigh. She was so relieved that he had agreed to just be friends as part of their imprint, but at the same time, even as she asked it, a gnawing sensation had started in her belly. Maya pushed that feeling down, hung up her raincoat, and bolted upstairs to call Keye and Becks to report back.

“F-F-F-F-FRIEND ZONED!” Keye yelled on the other end of the line. Becks was laughing and Maya covered her mouth to stifle some giggles.

“Jeez Maya, you’re fast. First solo hangout and you set the record straight. Respect.” Becks joined in.

“Oh my god, it wasn’t even like that. It was clear we were just going to be friends from the start. As if he would be interested in me,” Maya said somewhat subconsciously.

“Okay, first of all. That’s a weird thing to say. Second of all, you’re his fucking imprint. Doesn’t that mean that you can just flip the switch whenever you want and then he’s like...on his knees for you?” Keye said.

“Well when you put it like that,” Maya cringed. “No, I don’t think Paul is like that. When we were hiking, I got the distinct feeling that he’s the kind of person who is very much in control of his shit. Like he doesn’t seem like the type to be wishy washy. So telling him what I want now is a good thing. It feels like we’re not dancing around each other. We’re just friends and now we can move on and this imprint thing can just be a little blip. I just gained a new...intense friend,” Maya concluded.

“So since you’re just friends now, does that mean that Jeremy won’t be required to hang all over you at school?” Becks inquired. Maya wasn’t sure. Paul had implied that Jeremy would still be around to keep an eye on her, but that was before she had asked to just be friends, so maybe not?

“Mmm, I don’t know. Probably not.” Maya said, although she didn’t feel too sure about that. She would make it a point to tell Jeremy that her and Paul were just friends so he didn’t have to be her security detail anymore.

“Glad you figured it out! Now, can we pleeeease find a time to hit up that club? My parents are going to be out of town in February, so I think that’s the best time to do it. We can say we’re staying at mine and then have the whole night free!” Keye said excited.

“Sounds good to me,” Maya thumbed through her planner and jotted down a reminder for February.

“I’m in,” Becks responded. Keye hooted in joy.

The next week at school was dull. Maya was getting into the groove of balancing school work, helping her mom organize some upcoming events for the community, and participating in student council. She was the vice president to Beck’s presidency.

By the end of the week, Maya was surprised that Paul hadn’t texted her. Jeremy was still hanging around, but she hadn’t gotten up the courage to tell him that he didn’t need to be around anymore. She liked his company and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Plus, it was kind of nice not to have guys jostle her in the hallways anymore for the sake of teasing or scoring a date. Jeremy was like her own personal hall guard.

During their passing period to lunch, Maya threaded her arm through Jeremy’s. It had almost become a habit at this point.

“Hey so..” she started. Jeremy looked down at her, the tone of her voice gave her away too soon. “I told Paul a couple of weeks ago that I just wanted to be friends with the whole imprint thing, so you don’t have to keep an eye on me anymore.”

“What do you mean?” he quirked an eyebrow and gave her a smirk.

“I mean...if you wanted to drop the whole charade we got going on and pursue something real with, I don’t know, Katie Seraff, that would be totally okay. I know how to get to my classes without a bodyguard,” she joked nudging into him.

“Ooooh, you think I like Katie Seraff,” he said not addressing her main point, “I’m actually more into Sarah Littlesea. I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on that.”

“Jeremy,” Maya fixed him with a serious stare. “For real, we don’t have to do this anymore.” She pulled her arm out of his.

“Aahh, but I kind of do,” he said pulling her into him, and wrapping his arm back through hers.

“Noooo, you don’t,” Maya said, pulling her arm out again.

“Listen, I know about the whole friend-zoned imprint thing. But my original orders are still in place. Plus, I like having you as my fake girlfriend. It’s really chart topped me as the guy most wanted in our grade,” he gave her a lazy smile and Maya was speechless for a moment, “What?” he asked at her expression.

“I don’t understand, Paul and I are just friends so there’s no need for you to play protector anymore. I’m not spoken for so if a guy wants to ask me out, he can.” Maya said firmly. It’s not that she particularly wanted anyone to ask her out, she just wanted the option. She thought things with Paul were sorted, but apparently she missed something.

“Ah, you’re gonna have to talk to him about that. I don’t think he’d like it if you were getting asked out by dudes, even if your friends or not,” Jeremy said.

“That makes no sense,” Maya said as they made their way to their lunch table. Jeremy finally released her when they sat down.

“Take it up with the boss,” he said to confused looks from Keye and Becks.

Oh, Maya would. If he ever talked to her again.

It was two weeks exactly from when Maya last heard and saw Paul that a text message lit up her phone. She was sprawled out on her bed, half asleep and knee deep in a paper about Socrates when the buzzing brought her back to life.

Paul: Hey.

Maya snorted. ‘Hey’? After two weeks, all she got was a ‘Hey’? This imprinting thing was total bullshit. Maya set her phone down and turned back to her textbooks. If he waited two whole weeks to text her, she could make him wait at least ten minutes for a text back. She didn’t have to wait long though.

P: Sorry I’ve been MIA. If you want, you can come over and study at my house. I’m usually out working in my workshop, so you’d have the place to yourself. There’s plenty of food, and it would help me out and get the council off my back if we started having more face to face time.

Maya looked at the text reading it over and over again. Was the council bothering him about her? Maya suddenly remembered Chief Black’s words the first day she was told about the imprint. There must be a relationship of some kind.

That was pretty much nonexistent at this point. If the council had found out, maybe they weren’t happy with the friend thing. Maya chafed at this. As she poised her fingers over the keys, she saw the three dots pop up again.

P: No pressure.

Maya smiled at that. She let out a breath and immediately texted him back.

M: I could do that. When works for you?

P: You can come over any day you want, after school, the weekends. I don’t mind.

M: K. I’ll have Jeremy drop me off Monday after school. I get out around 2:30.

P: See you then. And thanks.

M: Whatever helps.

Maya closed her phone and fell back against her pillows. Zero to a hundred seemed like their style now.

Maya had been tapping her foot impatiently all day waiting for school to get out on Monday. She didn’t know why, but she was excited to see where he lived. Maya thought it might give her better insight into who Paul was and she’d get a chance to see him in his natural element.

When Jeremy dropped her off, Maya was immediately enamoured with the small blue house. It didn’t look like any of the other houses on the reservation—a stone wall adorned the front right side of the house. Ivy laced the brick in intricate patterns. When she hopped down from Jeremy’s jeep and waved goodbye, she took a minute to smooth out her blue suede mini skirt and retuck her black ribbed turtleneck. She wore sheer black tights with her knee high black suede boots. Her hair was pulled half up out of her face and fell around her shoulders in massive waves. She took a minute to take in the front of the house, noticing the beach just under the haze of the clouds. The house sat up on the side of a hill and overlooked the ocean but Maya could see a clear path that had been carved in the brush that led down to the beach.

She realized her heart was hammering in her chest as she made her way to the front door. As she knocked gently, she looked over her shoulder, uncertain. Paul pulled open the door and she was winded by the sight of him. Her reactions to him were almost involuntary and she always seemed to have to scramble to compose the look on her face.

“Hey,” he said, clearly pleased to see her. That exhaling feeling melted through Maya’s body.

“Hey.” her face pulled up in an automatic smile. She saw him glance her up and down quickly and then trying to recover, moved out of the door so she could come in. The house emanated warmth.

There was a wide long window off the kitchen set with a low bench seat and lots of comfortable pillows that looked out over the ocean. The cozy living room was in that same area and a dark leather couch was draped with thick knitted blankets. She saw a study just off the living room and a staircase that she assumed led to his bedroom. Maya took her time letting her eyes dance around the room and Paul watched her carefully.

She turned to fix him with a smile. “This is really nice. I’ve never seen a house like this before.”

“Oh, well that makes sense. I built it,” he said casually. She rolled her eyes playfully and smacked her forehead.

“Oh of course!” she let out a light laugh and his eyes flitted to the sound. That unreadable expression was back and Maya was determined to figure out what was behind it. “So, uh, where do you want me?” she said. Paul’s mouth dropped open and then he tilted his head, unsure of how to answer her question. Maya blushed bright red and quickly corrected herself stammering, “I-I mean wh-where should I do my homework?”

“Right,” he said flashing her surprising smile. “Uh, anywhere you feel comfortable. The kitchen table has a lot of room, or my study is right through there...it doesn’t have a desk though. I don’t have a desk,” he said, suddenly realizing that she might need one.

“Kitchen table looks good,” she peered down the open hallway. As she said this, Maya leaned down and zipped open the side of her suede boots, slipping them off easily and setting them next to the couch. His eyes were glued to her and when she turned to walk down the hallway, Paul let out a relieved sigh and followed her. She deposited her book bag on the kitchen table and pulled out her books.

“So...My workshop is just out there.” he pointed out the double french doors that led to the side of the house. She could see the open front of his workshop that faced the house and the tools and wood laid out in there. “If you need anything, just let me know..Otherwise….make yourself at home,” he said awkwardly. Maya gave him a reassuring smile and sat down on the soft wooden bench.

He watched her for just a minute more and then made his way down to his workshop. Maya had a good view of him as he worked from her spot at the kitchen table. She was eager to take a solo look around his house but her massive pile of work won out this time. Plus, if she was going to make this a regular thing, she’d have plenty of time to snoop.

Maya got sucked into her homework and before she knew it Paul came in through the back double doors, wiping at his hands with a dirtied rag. It had grown dark outside without her realizing. He looked at her with a quizzical look and said: “Have you eaten?”

Maya shook her head, somewhat distracted and he moved over into the kitchen, pulling things out of the fridge. As she finished up her paper, Maya heard the sizzle of oil in a pan. It smelled amazing. She hopped up off the bench and crossed the short distance to stand next to him.

“Need any help?” she said. He glanced in her direction and said “Sure. Cut up some bread.”

She pulled the loaf of french bread from a wooden bread box on his counter and cut two thick slices. “Do you have anything to drink?” she asked, suddenly realizing how thirsty she was. He pointed with the wooden spatula toward the fridge.

“Help yourself.”

Maya pulled open the fridge, biting her lower lip, feeling completely out of place and settled on some sparkling water.

She carried the bread to the table as he draped some noodles on a plate and poured some of the sauteed vegetables on top. He set the plate down in front of her and said “Eat.”

“You’re very bossy, you know?” She replied. “Thank you,” Maya gestured to the plate and unfolded her napkin in her lap. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

He fixed himself a plate and sat across from her buttering some bread and plopping a piece on her plate before getting one himself. She watched him over bites of food and tilted her head. She was sure he noticed her watching him right away but he let her. Then he let out a laugh and finally said, “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Like what?” she prodded.

“Like you have something you wanna say, but it’s a secret,” he replied looking at her, amusement glittering in his dark eyes.

“That’s just how my face looks,” she retorted jokingly. He laughed and took another bite.

“I like it,” he replied. Maya’s stomach did a somersault.

“Is the council really bugging you?” she said without thinking. Maya was surprised at herself. She never just came out and said things like that. Paul leaned back in his chair to look at her.

“They seem to be under the impression that we are ‘resisting’ the imprint,” he said, disdain laced in his voice. Maya went wide eyed, her fork hovering just outside of her mouth.

“What?! Why?” she was genuinely thrown off by this. Paul shook his head.

“You got me.” he replied genuinely.

“Do they want us to put on a show or something?” she asked, spearing a pepper a little too aggressively. Paul watched her with a familiarity that made her shiver.

“I don’t know, but if word gets out that you’re hanging out over here, maybe that will help them settle down.”

“Are they okay with the ‘just friends’ thing?” Maya probed.

“I wouldn’t know, I didn’t tell them,” he said, not meeting her eyes. It sounded like he really didn’t want to talk about this.

“Why not?” Maya said a little annoyed. Paul’s eyes shot up to look at her seriously now and the breath caught in her throat.

“It’s none of their business what goes on between me and you,” he said, defensively. Maya watched him, stunned. He held her eyes there and she saw the fire burning again.

After dinner, Maya insisted on helping wash the dishes. Paul stood next to her drying the plates, pots, and pans she handed him. She was very much aware of the closeness of their bodies. More than once, Paul reached behind her to grab a dish towel, open and close a drawer, or grab something that didn’t seem wholly necessary. Each time he moved around her, she felt the gentle brush of his hand on her lower back or her arm, whether he meant to or not. Every time his hand brushed her, it sent an sizzle of electricity through her.

When he dropped her off, Maya saw the curtains flutter in her living room window. It was most definitely her mother. Maya let out a small groan and unbuckled her seatbelt. While Paul may have thought it wasn’t the council’s business what went on between them, Maya got the distinct feeling that that didn’t apply when it came to her mother.

“Text me if you want to come over again this week,” Paul said hurriedly as she opened the door. Maya looked over her shoulder at him.

“Do you want me to come over again this week?” She said suddenly confused. Maya was under the impression that this was a once-a-week kind of thing.

“If you want,” he said. Maya fixed him with a look and Paul stared right back.

“But do you want me to? I’m not going to wear out my welcome for the council’s sake if you think once a week is enough,” she said defiantly. Paul gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“Yes, I want you to,” he admitted. Maya’s heart fluttered involuntarily. She saw the pulse of the muscle clench in his jaw.

“Okay,” she said, still confused. Why was it that his words said one thing but his body said something completely different? It was like he had to will himself to say yes. Maya walked up to her front door, feeling Paul’s eyes on her still. She didn’t look back this time when she walked through and instead shut the door quickly behind her.

He’s kind of jerk. Maya thought to herself.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Seven

Always take the candy...

Word count: 2,776

Content: Slow burn, fake dating (not with Paul), jealousy

When I was little, we had this way of doing Valentine’s day at school. The teacher would dismiss a couple students at a time out into the hallway. There they would artfully select their Valentines and place candy or cards or sometimes gifts in the small cubbies where we kept backpacks that were too big for our bodies. I always had a problem with this method—why all the secrets? At the end of the day, we’d all get to rummage through our cubby, relishing in the spoils. My mom always made sure that I gave a Valentine to everyone. ‘Pick no favorites’ she warned me. But I always seemed to find an uneven stack of gifts in mine compared to Keye or Becks or anyone. When I asked my mom why, she would give me an overwhelming sweet smile and say ‘It’s because you have secret admirers, baby. They like you! Always make sure you take the candy or the gift when a classmate offers it. It’s polite.’ But I didn’t want a secret admirer, I wanted to know who liked me when I stared at the bauble of eyes darting around the room.

Over the next few weeks, Maya visited Paul’s house a couple times a week and sometimes on Sundays to study and hangout. After the first few visits, she started to feel more at home. Paul stuck mostly to his workshop when she was around but a couple times after they cooked dinner, Maya plopped on the big leather couch and he slid a movie into his DVD player for them to watch.

Maya quickly grew to love the little blue home that Paul had built. He shared his plans to extend the property eventually one day when she wandered out into his workshop to see what he was up to. The intricately penciled designs were spread over his work bench and he explained each step to Maya who was rapt, running her hands over the measurements.

“What if you did beams here instead? Might cut down on materials, eliminate the need to lower the ceiling, and give you a little bit of charm,” she suggested to his renovation outlines. He considered it for a moment and then nodded and bent over the paper to make some changes to his mock up.

“That’s actually a great idea, thanks,” he said. Maya had been pretty pleased with that even if he didn’t do it in the end, she appreciated the consideration.

Her favorite thing about him was quickly becoming the fact that whenever Maya talked about anything, whether that was something that happened during her day, reading her paper out loud to him, or just joking around, he really listened. Throughout her life, Maya always had people pay attention to her, but she never thought they actually listened. Her mother had explained it away as a side effect of being a pretty face, but Maya had quickly rejected that.

Her second favorite thing that was threatening to become her first was his smile. Whenever she pulled a real wide smile from Paul, one that was tinged with laughter or dare she say it, admiration, her heart rocketed into orbit.

Paul’s presence in the house was minimal, non-intrusive, but everytime he popped up, either when she was working at the kitchen table, cuddled into the couch pouring over a book, or sitting out on the back porch that overlooked the ocean on a particularly nice day, her body wrapped in one of the thick knitted blankets, he was kind and thoughtful. She was pretty sure Paul’s love language was food. He’d always bring her snacks while she was working, often plopping down across from her and eating off the same plate with her. Their time together was easy, slow.

After about three weeks of this new schedule, Maya showed up one Sunday mid-morning to find a key on the kitchen table waiting for her. She eyed it suspiciously and looked around the room as if someone was going to pop out and yell “SIKE! You thought!”

Paul came through the back door ruffling his hair with his hand and walking straight to the sink with a cursory “Hey” at her presence.

“Paul…” she said slowly, still standing. She was wearing a burnt orange sweater dress that clung to her body and had a high neck. Her hair billowed out around her and her cheeks were still pink from the February biting cold. “What’s this?” She points to the key on the table.

He looks over his shoulder at her taking a gulp of water and then says, nonchalantly, “A key.”

“To what?”

“The house.” He said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. His eyes naturally scanned her, taking in her outfit. Maya noticed he always did this when he first saw her—he made sure to take her all in first as if he was taking a long drink of cold water.

“This house?!” Her eyes popped wide.

“What’s with the inquisition? Yes, this house. In case you need to come by when I’m not here.” He motioned toward the door.

“Is this about me breaking in that one day?” Maya’s mind flickered back to the week before when she had texted him last minute that she was coming by. He hadn’t answered, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until Jeremy pulled away out of his drive and Maya was met with a locked door.

He never locked the door when he was home. Maya knocked, a feeling of dread pulling through her. No answer. After waiting a couple of minutes, she walked around the house to the backyard and saw his workshop was empty too. She tried the double french doors but they were also locked.

“Fuck,” she had breathed. Luckily, she had found a window who’s lock was loose and she was able to shimmy it open, pulling her body through. She was incredibly proud of herself for being so resourceful. Less than an hour later, Paul had burst through the front door, completely out of breath. Maya leaned up from her prone position on the couch with a small “Hey” and he had immediately launched into an apology about how he missed her text and realized too late that the door was locked and, “Wait, how did you get in?” Maya pointed to the window that she had clearly damaged and he let out a relieved sigh.

Now he laughed and took a swig of water. “No, it’s not. But that was impressive.”

“Impressive that I made it in from a window that was six feet off the ground or that I managed to break it so bad that you had to completely replace it?”

“Both.” he said quickly. He washed his hands and then turned to lean against the sink crossing his arms in front of him.

“Thank you.” she said, pocketing the key. He nodded and headed back out to his workshop. For the rest of the night, Maya would absently slip her hand in her pocket and run her hand across the cool metal of the key.

“Happy Valentine’s day, fake girlfriend,” Jeremy threw his arm around her. She noticed his hair was starting to get shaggy. Valentine’s day was weirdly a big deal at her school. The school organized candy grams and rose deliveries throughout the day that students could purchase for their intended crush. Maya and her friends were usually bogged down with so many roses and candy by the end of the day they couldn’t close their small locker’s properly.

Maya was always weirdly excited about Valentine’s day. She loved the way it made her feel, even if she was never in a relationship, she just genuinely loved seeing other people happy, embracing, and in love around her.

She dressed for the occasion, with a dark red top, with a sweetheart neckline. It was slightly cropped but had thick fabric ties that she looped around her waist to accentuate it and tied in a dainty bow in the back. She paired it with her black skinny jeans, some black heeled boots, and some dark red lipstick that warmed her entire face. She’d pulled her hair up in a thick ponytail and was careful to curl it so it swooped out and finished the look with a soft white bow that she tied around the base of her ponytail.

“Awww, happy valentine’s day, fake boyfriend,” Maya said sweetly. She threaded her arms around his neck and he scooped her up in a hug. They’d grown incredibly close in the short time together. Maya often found herself confiding in Jeremy during passing periods. He’d come over to her place or meet her at the library to study and do homework and he’d even started talking to her about Paul a little more. They looked like a real couple at school.

“Close your eyes,” he said seriously. Maya smiled and closed them as Jeremy reached for her hands and put them together, palms facing up. He placed a slim square box in her hand and said, “Okay open.”

Maya immediately looked down to the box in her hand and then shot an elated grin up at Jeremy. He looked so pleased and waited patiently for her to open it. Maya was careful to untie the bow and when she pulled open the top box, she saw two thick gold bangles in the box. She gasped.

“Oh my god, Jeremy, these are beautiful!” she said. Her mother had always taught her that telling someone something a gift was too much was a ploy for attention and you should always sound grateful. She slipped the bangles over her wrist and smiled at how they tinkled together. “They’re amazing, how did you know I liked gold?” Flattery will get you everywhere, her mother reminded her.

Jeremy was working hard to conceal his blush, overwhelmed that his gift had gone over so well. “I’ve seen you wear those gold dangly necklaces your mom got you. Thought it was a good fit. You really like them?”

“I really do, thank you so much Jeremy,” she said leaning in for another hug. He took it eagerly and wove his arm around her back as they headed toward her next class. Maya was floored but also...did this gift mean something? No, they were just friends, obviously and he was just being an incredibly kind friend. Jeremy was all smiles down the hallway as they passed their friends. Maya was still grateful for the lack of harassment she got these days, but she was worried that Jeremy might be getting the wrong idea as she leaned into their friendship.

“Jeremy wants you,” Keye had said when they settled into their seats in the lunchroom. Jeremy had excused himself to go outside and talk to Sarah Littlesea.

“Shut up, no he doesn’t,” Maya said simply. Keye reached across the table and fiddled with her bracelets. Maya recoiled and held her wrist close to her chest. “Hey!”

“Maya, I love you but you are clearly clueless when it comes to guys who have a thing for you,” Keye resigned.

“We are in a fake relationship. Key word fake,” Maya said back.

“Yeah, but those aren’t fake bracelets, are they?” Keye was eyeing her critically. Becks said down next to Maya and she turned to her and pouted.

“Friends give each other gifts right?” Maya said.

“Of course!” Becks said. Maya turned back triumphant to Keye but Becks continued, “But friends probably don’t give gold bracelets to their friends on Valentine’s day while they’re pretending to be their fake boyfriend for clout.”

“It’s not for clout,” Maya was getting louder. Had she misread this?! Was this not okay?

“Maya, think about it. Why would he give you those?”

“Because. We. Are. Friends.” She was getting upset now. Becks rolled her eyes and tucked into her fruit cup, giving up.

“And what’s your friend Paul gonna say? Totally normal, not invested in any way, Paul?” Keye dug into her. Maya didn’t say anything, mostly because she hadn’t really thought about it. Keye fixed her with a knowing stare and Maya grimaced before Jeremy rejoined them and they defaulted to their usual banter.

For the rest of the day, Maya wondered if she should go over to Paul’s. Would it be weird if she saw him on Valentine’s day? No...things weren’t like that between them. They were falling into a good rhythm with one another. Things felt good.

She decided she would go over and prove Keye wrong about him. He’d be totally fine. He probably wouldn’t even notice. She texted him when the bell for fifth period rang.

P: Absolutely. I’ll be home a little bit later in the afternoon. I have to drop off a piece to the Clearwaters.

Jeremy didn’t say anything when he dropped her off but she did see that he looked at her wrist for a half second where the gold bracelets still sat.

“Thanks for the ride!” she said cheerfully as she climbed out and made her way to the door. Jeremy had already disappeared before she even got the door unlocked.

Maya set up in the kitchen and finished her Calc homework before starting some dinner. She threw together some steak tacos and as she pulled the taco shells out of the oven, Paul walked through the front door calling out a “Hey!” to announce himself.

“In here!” she said dropping the hot shells quickly in a cloth covered basket “Hot!” she said to herself in a light squeal before setting them on the table. When Paul came into the kitchen he looked genuinely impressed.

“Steak tacos? Ambitious,” he said.

“Well, we try,” she said, giving him a mock curtsy. His eyes raked across her body taking in the particularly form fitting outfit. The red set something off in his eyes but they stopped abruptly on the gold bracelets dangling from her wrist.

“Those are new.” He nodded to them.

“Oh, yeah,” she said nonchalantly, sinking onto the bench. Be breezy, be cool. “Uhh, Jeremy gave them to me.” She picked a shell out of the basket and started loading it with toppings.

Paul tensed at this but didn’t say anything for a bit. He moved to the sink and washed his hands. With his back still turned to her, he said,

“He gave you a gift on Valentine’s day?” She could tell he was trying very hard to keep his voice nonchalant, casual, even. Maya had the feeling that she was wading into dangerous waters. Not for herself, particularly, but for Jeremy.

“Yeah, to keep up appearances, you know? It’s no big deal.” she said, still trying to keep her cool. “I thought it was nice.”

Paul again didn’t say anything and dropped down into the chair across from her digging into the tacos. Maya eyed him carefully but he made sure not to meet her eyes. Keye might have been right.

After dinner, she asked to watch a movie and he agreed. Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the couch like they normally did, Maya sat closer to him, wrapped up in the heavy knit blanket. About halfway through the movie, Maya had sunk down on the couch and rested her head on a pillow she had propped against Paul’s thigh. Her eyes drooped and she found herself easily drifting off to the low sound of the movie. At one point she felt extremely warm and realized that he had carefully draped his arm over her shoulder and was gently rubbing his fingers against her scalp. Maya relished in the feeling and let herself drift in and out. She clenched her legs tightly together at one point to quiet the feeling growing there.

Once the movie ended, Paul sat there for a while, continuing to stroke his hands through her hair. When it got far too late for an acceptable excuse for her parents, He sat up and gently ran his hand down her arm and whispered “My.” Her eyes fluttered open, half asleep and she sat up slowly. “I need to get you home.” She yawned and nodded. He helped her into her coat and she she braced his bicep for support while she slipped on her heeled boots to steady herself.

When he dropped her at her door, Maya turned to look at him again feeling a shift between them. She saw that fire in his eyes again and tried very hard to define it but only one word came to mind. The way he looked at her now seemed to say: Mine.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Five

Fortune favors the audacious...

Word count: 4,037

Content warning: Fake dating

I’ve never given much thought to what having my first boyfriend would be like. Keye always seemed to be in and out of relationships, but she said it felt like stepping out of an overly air conditioned grocery store out into the hot summer sun—a welcomed shock. And the first time you know they like you back that way it’s like a pang of sour patch hitting your tongue, acid and sweet. I wonder if it would be like that for me too.

After the dinner with Paul and her family, Maya resigned herself to another night of restless sleep, but surprisingly, when her head hit the pillow shortly after 11 p.m., she dozed off and didn’t wake until her alarm went off that morning.

The gloom of Monday was exaggerated by the low hanging clouds, rolling fog across the beach, and the spit of rain that turned off and on like a faucet. Maya got ready for school quickly wanting to get there early to read over her paper before her first period English class.

She fluffed her hair with some dry shampoo and rubbed in some oil to the ends. Not wanting to look too overzealous on a Monday, she pulled on some dark skinny jeans, a black v-neck t-shirt and her loose fitted green flannel, paired with her black doc marten boots. She wound a trio of gold necklaces her mother had gifted her for her 15th birthday around her neck and dotted some tinted chapstick over her pouted lips.

Down in the kitchen, her mother was still in her nightgown and robe scrolling through her phone and reading the news.

“You’re up early,” Rish noted sipping her coffee. Maya pulled her lunch out of the fridge and stuffed it into her backpack before grabbing a banana and walking over to the kitchen table. She took the mug of coffee from her mother’s hand and took a swig.

“Need to proofread this morning,” Maya said.

“Okay, well have a good day. And consider getting in touch with Paul this week,” her mother said as Maya walked down the hall.

“I don’t have his number, but thanks!” Maya called out, ripping over the front door and donning her dark blue rain jacket.

“Love you!” her mom called.

“Try not to marry me off as a child bride while I’m at school,” Maya called back before closing the door a little too hard. She bolted up the driveway, not wanting to hang around for her mother to come after her and scold her for slamming the door so early in the morning.

Maya enjoyed the 15 minute walk to school, the light drizzle felt like mist on her face. After mulling over what her mom said to her this morning for far too long, Maya came to the conclusion that her mother most likely had acquired Paul’s phone number herself, either by asking him or asking one of the council members. Rish was always resourceful, but still, Maya was thrown off a little by how quickly her mom flipped from “Not my baby!” to “Oh yes, take my baby.” Did she really want the community clout that bad? Having Maya be in a relationship with a member of Sam’s group was definitely considered a “respectable” thing but she didn’t see other mothers on the rez throwing their daughters or son in Sam’s member’s path to see if they could be imprinted on. Maybe they just didn’t know the extent at which the legends might be true…

Keye and Becks found Maya tucked away in the corner of the library pouring over her paper.

“Hey!” Becks said to get Maya’s attention. She looked up and gave them a warm smile. “You never called me back last night.”

“Oh yeah…” Maya paused. She hadn’t even had time to tell them what had happened the night before, “So get this...Paul shows up for dinner at my place last night.”

“WHAT!” Keye says a little too loud. The librarian looks in their direction and Keye’s eyes go wide as she listens. She lowers her voice to a whisper, “Are you fucking kidding me?! He just shows up?”

“Oh god, you know Rish organized it, she just failed to tell me. I should have known when I saw her prepping the steaks that afternoon that something was happening. We never have steak,” Maya muttered slipping her paper into her English folder. “Anyway, I barely got in a word all night and my parents are basically in love with him.” She let out a sigh.

“Are you okay?” Becks said gently, putting a hand on her arm. Maya considered that for a moment.

“I mean, yes? And no? I have no idea what to do here. He said ‘I’ll see you soon’. Like what the hell does that mean?”

“That...that he might see you soon?” Keye muttered. Maya rolled her eyes.

“And then, this morning, my mom was like ‘Oh you should get in touch with Paul this week, teehee have a good day!’” Maya let out a groan.

“Jesus, your mother is literally ready to sell you to this dude.” Keye said. Becks made a face.

“She is a bit eager,” Becks conceded after Maya probed her with a look.

“She just wants to stay in good graces with the council. And my pairing with Paul is a big boost to our status. Ugh, can we just..not talk about this for awhile? I need to feel normal,” Maya complained.

“Absolutely!” Becks said.

“Yeah fuck that dude!” Keye said a little too loudly.

“Keye Mesoon!” Ms. Tolly, the librarian was at their table now. “If I hear another foul word come out of your mouth, I’m sending you to the office.” Keye shrunk in her chair and Ms. Tolly left them.

“Fuuuuuck,” Keye mouthed and Maya and Becks descended into a fit of giggles.

Maya’s first three classes passed without incident but during her passing period between third and fourth, while she was switching out books in her locker, Jeremy appeared.

“Hey,” he said, leaning on the lockers and giving her that crushing smile that could make any girl melt—well almost any girl.

“Hey,” Maya said, giving him a short smile before slamming her locker shut and turning away from him up the hallway. She wasn’t interested in small talk, considering Jeremy had dropped too many bombs on her this weekend.

For a minute, she was relieved thinking he got the hint and wouldn’t follow her, but he jogged to catch up and slung his arm around her shoulder as if he’d been doing it for years. Startled, Maya tried to dip out of his embrace.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she said, very annoyed. Her eyes flashed and Jeremy couldn’t help but look a little amused. Cute, he thought.

“Come on, it’s a favor for Paul.”

“Another favor? Look, no offense, but I’ve had enough of you doing things on his behalf. So, if you’ll excuse me,” she turned on her heel and headed in the direction of her AP World history classroom. He jogged after her, but this time didn’t try to touch her.

“I get it, we don’t know each other that well and this is kind of weird. But really, I’m just doing what’s asked of me and I kind of don’t have a choice,” he said, still grinning.

“So Paul asked you to...what? Stalk me at school?” Maya’s irritation was growing.

“Not really, he just doesn’t want people bothering you.” Jeremy seemed totally unaffected by Maya’s heat. He was enjoying it.

“By people, you mean guys right?” she looked at him with a sideways glance. One that was laced with pure venom. Jeremy shrugged.

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t appreciate not being hassled everyday. Since the second grade, all I’ve seen are dudes trying to ask you on a date or make you their girlfriend nonstop. That’s gotta get old.” He retorted and gave her a knowing smile.

“Yourself included.” She spat back before turning the corner and reaching her class. Before she opened the door, he grabbed the handle and said:

“Look, I’ll try to keep us low on the radar, just...please work with me. You’d be doing me a favor,” he pulled open the door for her and before she walked through it, she said with a sickly sweet smile on her face:

“If you had a nickel for all the favors you give and get, you’d be rich, Jer.” He brightened at the shortened nickname she gave him. Maya didn’t notice and beelined it for her desk. He hung around in the doorway for a minute, giving her a twinkling smile before the bell rang, alerting him to his next class.

As soon as the bell rang dismissing her for lunch, Maya shot up out of her chair and hustled for the door hoping to avoid Jeremy. But he was quick and knew she’d try to bolt. He called her name as he jogged after her down the hallway:

“Maya! Wait up!” Once he caught up with her, he slung his arm around her shoulder again and Maya outwardly groaned. She knew it was pointless though. The new Jeremy was very persistent and under very specific orders from her imprinter and Maya just did not have it in her to fight it right now.

“Walk you to lunch?” he said conspiratorially. Maya let out a huff of air and nodded.

“I need to grab my lunch from my locker first.” They made their way back to Maya’s locker and she couldn’t help but notice the stares they were pulling from everyone in the hallways. Whispers were sprouting up behind them and she pretended not to hear them. Jeremy seemed unphased and waved to a friend of his as they walked past, his large, bulky arm still resting across her shoulders.

Once they enter the lunchroom, things really started to escalate. Maya had a sickening moment where she felt the eyes of the entire lunchroom on her. Becks and Keye stared at her from their table by the window filled with shock and confusion. Jeremy was relishing in the moment, but Maya successfully slipped out from under his hold and quickly made her way across the cafeteria to her friends. Once slumped down in a seat, the hum of the cafeteria returned and she felt a little more at ease..

“What….the…” Keye started by Maya shushed her. Jeremy tucked in next to her, turning out to talk to his friends at another table. After a cool 15 minutes of Becks and Keye talking hurriedly under their breath and Maya shaking her head and giving them warning looks, Jeremy finally turned to face the table and greeted Becks and Keye properly.

“Ladies.” Keye was about to burst into laughter and Becks sat there speechless. Jeremy bumped his shoulder into Maya who gave him wide eyed look. To this he said softly. “Hey, give me your phone really quick.”

“What why?”

“Do you notice how things go a lot smoother if you just kind of play along?” he challenged. Maya sat up straighter.

“Actually no, if you haven’t noticed Jeremy, everyone here is looking at us. It’s like I have a fucking raging cat on my head, so no, going with your flow is not really working out for me.”

Jeremy paused while watching her, that same amused twinkle in his eye. It’s infuriating, Maya wants to pinch him or slap him or dump her water cup over his head.

“Please?” he said again. Maya let out a frustrated noise hidden under her breath and dug in her bag to hand him the phone. “Can you unlock it?” Maya gave him another venomous smile and typed in her code before handing it back to him. Keye and Becks were absolutely floored by the exchange.

“Maya, what the fuck,” Keye said but Maya just responded with a quick “Don’t ask” and returned to eating her sandwich. Jeremy punched in something on her phone and then after a few seconds handed it back to her.

“Do I even want to know what you just did?” Maya asked as she looked at her phone warily.

“Probably turned on your location so he can stalk you properly,” Becks said, spearing her broccoli.

“For your information, I just put Paul’s number in your phone,” he said. “Oh hey man!” a friend of his walked by and he high fived him. Maya’s jaw dropped. She quickly opened her contacts and typed in his name. Paul Lahote was listed there now, casual, as if he’d always been a name in her phone. “I gave him your number already... so.”

“You did? When?!” Maya asked.

“Uhhh, Saturday? Hope that’s okay,” he said, looking at her now with the least apologetic face Maya had ever seen.

“And if I said it wasn’t okay, would you go back to him and delete my number from his phone?”

“Uhh, no probably not. He’d also probably rip my head off,” Jeremy said nonchalantly. “Are you gonna finish that?” he motioned to Maya’s bag of chips and she pushed them toward him, suddenly losing her appetite.

The rest of the day, Maya was sour. Jeremy was glued to her side during every passing period and Keye and Becks were frantically texting her to figure out what the hell was going on. But Maya didn’t have an answer for them other than Paul asked Jeremy to keep an eye on her at school to make sure no one bothered her. But why would anyone bother her? He didn’t even know her and if he did, he would know that Maya wasn’t the type of girl to just let guys hassle her and hang all over her. Jeremy was the first one to do that, confident in his ability to do so because he was operating on special orders from Paul. What a mess, she thought.

Jeremy insisted on driving her home as they got out of school. Maya briefly thought about making a run for it, just to get some peace and quiet. She was really hoping the walk home would help her clear her head but instead she was being corralled into Jeremy’s jeep. After realizing that she probably couldn’t outrun him, she climbed into the passenger side ducking out of sight of the wandering eyes that had followed her and Jeremy down the halls all day.

When he dropped her off, she gave him a gentle wave.

He rolled down the passenger window and leaned over the center console, “Hey Maya.” She turned around, her face pulled down in a tired grimace. “I really am sorry about this. I get that this is kind of annoying, but...I promise you I will do my best to make this as painless as possible,” he had a sad smile fitted to his face and Maya suddenly felt guilty for being so rude to him today.

“I know Jer, I’m sorry. This is all just kind of weird. I get it. It really wasn’t that bad, I just…” she trailed off not sure what to say. He nodded not needing her to finish and she was grateful. “Thanks for the ride,” she said.

“I’ll pick you up in the morning,” he said confidently before backing out of her driveway. Maya stifled the sick, sinking feeling in her stomach. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Jeremy, it was just that she was used to a certain amount of independence and now...it felt like the walls were closing in.

As she entered her house her mom bustled down the hallway. “Who was that?” she said, clearly excited.

“Jeremy Treever,” Maya answered in a monotone voice and hung her raincoat up.

“Oh,” Rish’s face dropped in disappointment. It took everything in Maya not to roll her eyes as she made her way up the stairs.

Tucked away in her room, Maya sat on her bed with her Physics textbook and notebook open in front of her. But instead of working on her massive amount of homework, she stared at the newly added contact in her phone.

Maya had half a mind to text him and drag him for all of these so called favors. But something in her kept that bubbling anger at bay and instead, she opened a blank text message to him, her fingers poised over the keypad. She didn’t know how many times she wrote and rewrote a new message to him, but by midnight, she hadn’t sent anything and Maya had passed out on top of her textbooks still open to the blank message.

The rest of the week went by excruciatingly slow. Maya was getting used to having Jeremy around a lot more, in fact, she was kind of starting to enjoy his company. He was funny and fit in well with her friends. Becks and Keye, now caught up to speed with the latest Paul incident, were quick to bring Jeremy into the fold, mostly to help Maya feel comfortable but also to weasel some information out of him if they could. Jeremy was pretty good at holding them off though.

“So do you guys like sit in a circle and cut open your wrists and make a blood pact over a dark flame?” Keye said in a mock spooky voice. Jeremy let out a laugh.

“No, that would be kind of sick. We do have these matching tattoos though,” he pulled up his left sleeve to show off the intricate circular tattoo that covered most of his upper arm.

“Awww, we wanted to get matching tattoos too,” Becks wore a sweet face. Maya laughed, poking her fork into her mashed potatoes. It was finally Friday and Maya was amazed at how quickly they’d all become fast friends. Jeremy was sitting close to her and would lean around the back of her to talk to his buddies at another table. When Maya told him it would be okay if he wanted to sit with his friends during lunch he leaned in and whispered low, “Can’t, I’m working,” before giving her a secret wink.

Maya blushed and then felt ridiculous. She flipped her phone over on the table checking it again for the tenth time during lunch.

“You waiting for a call?” Becks said. Maya snapped her eyes up, suddenly caught and then shoved her phone in her bag, shaking her head quickly.

“No, no..just watching the time. Don’t want to be late for Econ.” Becks didn’t buy it and Jeremy was watching her carefully.

During their passing period, once Keye and Becks peeled off into their classrooms, Jeremy gently touched her lower back and said out of the blue:

“He’ll reach out, don’t worry.” Shocked, Maya looked up at him and then tried to fix her face into an indifferent look.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she said, aloof. Jeremy let out a snort of air through his nose and gave her that same twinkling lopsided grin.

“Yeah, okay.” he said as they walked down the hall toward Maya’s econ class. He held the door open for her and as she walked through she gave him a small “thanks” and he nodded, as if to say ‘Job well done.’

Saturday morning, Maya was up early helping her mom in the kitchen. Every week her mom tried to cook and extra meal for an elder or member on the reservation who needed it. Maya was helping her make an extra batch of vegetarian casserole when she felt her phone buzz in the back pocket of her jeans. She finished cutting up the peppers and rinsed her hands before pulling her phone open. She nearly dropped it in the sink when she saw the name flash across the screen.

Text Message from Paul Lahote.

Maya quickly opened the message, her heart thrumming.

P: Hey, Maya. It’s Paul Lahote.

Groundbreaking. Maya almost laughed at this. Her fingers hovered over the keys but before she could type something, the familiar three dots popped up on the screen, indicating Paul was typing. She watched transfixed.

P: I was wondering if you might want to go on a hike with me today?

A hike? Interesting choice.

M: Hey Paul, I knew it was you. Jeremy stored your number in my phone. A hike sounds good. What time were you thinking?

Maya didn’t know if she was excited or positively dreading going on this outing with him. Paul responded quickly, clearly not interested in leaving her hanging.

P: Great! I’ll come by and pick you up around 1 if that’s okay?

M: I’ll be ready.

Maya closed her phone and shoved in her back pocket resuming her duties in the kitchen. Her mother hadn’t noticed. She was watching the small television propped up on some old cookbooks on the counter as Julia Child folded a pastry carefully over some filling in a pie dish.

Maya cleared her throat and resumed her cutting. “Uh, mom?”

“Hmm?” she said in between her stirring and sauteeing in the pan at the stove.

“Paul asked if he could take me on a hike today around 1. Is that okay?” Maya kept her voice calm. She distinctly heard the clatter of the metal spoon on the stove and then a quick recovery.

“Of course!” her mother trilled, completely elated. Maya was annoyed at this. Her mother was far too eager for this imprinting thing to take hold. It made Maya even more determined to make sure that her and Paul remained friends.

She had made this decision one night after school this past week that no matter what, Maya would make it clear that the relationship she wanted to have with her imprinter was that of just friends. The decision was made partly because Maya couldn’t fathom being in a relationship with someone she barely knew but also, she had big plans. She wasn’t going to let any weird old bond get in the way of her chances of attending an ivy league school if she got in. Paul had told her dad that Maya getting what she wanted in terms of school was important to him too. She would make sure of that in her meeting with him and set the tone early on.

Maya Sunriviere and Paul Lahote were destined to be just friends if she had anything to say about it.

“I’m leaving!” Maya called from the front door as she laced up her hiking boots. She had braided her thick black hair into two french braids and pulled on some high waisted black leggings, a white long sleeved loose cotton blouse with light brown buttons up the front that she tied up around her waist. Over that she donned her trusty dark blue raincoat and grabbed some wool gloves. The rain had subsided and the sun peeked out among the clouds, promising a reprieve.

“Have fun! Be polite!” Her mother shouted her two most common requirements from the kitchen. Maya wrenched open the door and immediately saw Paul who was climbing out of his forerunner. She had seen him from the window and wasn’t going to do the whole have him knock and answer the door and begrudge weird awkward conversation that her parents would try to insert themselves into.

He was dressed in some loose fitted jeans and a black short sleeve shirt, the tattoo on his left arm peeking out under the sleeve. She clattered down the porch steps and gave him a wave. He smiled and Maya wondered if the look he had in his eyes was nervousness. She felt a thrill run through her.

“Long time no see,” she breathed. His eyes flitted around her face taking her in and then realizing what he was doing he gave her a warm smile and pulled open the passenger door for her.

“It’s been a busy week. Hop in.” Maya settled in the seat and whipped her seatbelt on. When he climbed into the driver’s seat next to her, Maya immediately felt the heat wash over her face. He was sort of beautiful.

“Ready?” he said, starting up the truck.

“Ready.” she nodded.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Two

Tonight's alright for a bonfire...

Content warning: Imprinting

Word count: 3,531

There’s always something about firelight. It casts shadows, softens the lines, sets everything aglow, and swallows you up. Once you’re in the fire, there’s no escaping it and there’s no going back unscathed. But even still, I’m mesmerized by it, drawn to it, and willing to get a little burned if it means I can feel the heat of it pulse through me.

“UP! UP! UP!” Maya’s mother, Rish, pulled back the curtains of her bedroom, letting precious morning sunlight filter in uninterrupted across Maya’s room.

Maya groaned and pulled the covers up over her eyes. “Mom, please! It’s the last day of winter break, pleeeease.”

“I need help finalizing some stuff for Friday’s bonfire gathering and I need your help, so UP PLEASE!” she said pulling the covers down off of Maya. “Did you girls have fun last night?” Her mother always did this—she always started casual conversation to help distract you from the thing you really didn’t feel like doing. It was pretty effective on Maya over the years but as a pulsing headache already built up behind her left temple, Maya didn’t find it so endearing this time.

“It was eventful,” she grumbled, leaning up and rubbing her eyes.

“Well, good. I’m glad you got to blow off some steam before the stress of the semester. Get dressed please, we’re leaving in 15!” and with that, Rish swept out the room, her lithe and shapely figure disappearing down the wide steps to the kitchen. Maya’s room was closest to the staircase and if she poked her head out of the door, she would have full view of the front door. It came in handy when people swung by unannounced that she’d rather avoid (boys, community leaders, overzealous cousins, you get the idea).

Maya got ready quickly and spent most of the morning cruising around town with her mom, stopping at some council member homes to drop off care packages and food, as well as picking up supplies for the Friday gathering. They always liked to hold a bonfire at the beginning of the year to get everyone together and reacquaint with themselves with the new year. Typically, they would discuss tribe matters, fundraising for the school or local resident’s home repairs. People would commit to dedicating time and resources to restoring areas of the reservation for the next year and new projects were assigned to community members like Maya’s mother.

Maya was very involved in her tribe, mostly due to her mother’s influence, but she was well versed in the stories and traditions of her community. It gave her immense pride but also filled her with a desire to see the world outside of her tribe. Maya was the council’s hopeful for ivy league admittance from the tribal school’s batch of graduates. She had a great shot at a full ride to just about all of the public universities she had applied for both in and outside the state of Washington, but Maya was holding out for bigger things.

Currently, she was holding her breath for her Princeton and Columbia application decisions. A girl could dream and this girl was pulling out all the stops to get out of La Push and into the great wide world for awhile. But while she was still here, her mother would keep her wrapped up tight in the traditions and community that kept her safe since birth.

Maya spent the rest of the evening organizing herself for the week ahead at school. She texted Becks and Keye (who had nothing of note to report except digging for more details on Jeremy Treever of all people). She obsessively checked her email for an applications status update on her college acceptances and just as it had the night before, she closed the window with no news.

The rush of the new and final semester felt good. Maya couldn’t help but feel something in her shift, as if every step forward was a new moment waiting to be defined, if only she knew how to define it. She would chase that feeling as mucha s she could

She barely made it past second period when Jeremy tracked her down. Maya was pushing her locker door closed, commiserating with Keye about their first period homework—a paper due next week on the cultural impact of colonizers in “A Passage to India” no less— when he leaned on the row of lockers over her right shoulder.

“Maya the master escape artist,” he said pleasantly, she had to admit, his tone exuded a warmth she couldn’t deny and she could practically feel the heat coming off of his body like a overworking radiator. Maya widened her eyes at Keye before gaining her composure and turning to meet Jeremy’s eyes. She clasped her AP Physics book in her arms, eager to get to her third period class.

“Jeremy the expert at finding girls who don’t want to be found,” she gave a reassuring laugh to show it was a joke and he smiled in return. He was absolutely massive, towering above her even in her 4-inch heeled black boots.

“So we got cut off the other night.”

“That we did,” Maya said.

“And I wanted to see if you would maybe want to hang out this weekend? Maybe we could get together and study?” A productive date. Hmm, she liked that. Maya arched an eyebrow suggestively.

“A study hangout?” she refused to use the word date.

“Yeah, I mean, I know you’re swamped with AP stuff even though classes started today, and I’m already behind so, I thought it might be doubly useful? We get to hangout, talk…” he trailed off. Maya pondered this for a minute and then with a sidelong glance at Keye who was patiently twirling her neat pony between her fingers while checking her phone, she said:

“Sure, why not. Want to meet up at Clearwater Coffee on Saturday around 11?”

“Sounds good!” he said, bopping her forearm with his textbook gently before heading off quickly in the direction of his next class. Maya snapped her locker shut and turned to look at Keye who was doing very uncouth hip thrusting in the middle of the hallway.

“AW YEAH!” she said before bursting into laughter.

“Keye, calm down,” Maya said as if it was no big deal. She started to walk quickly toward her Physics class not wanting to be late. For all the responsibility and buttoned up demeanor that Becks had, she couldn’t hold a candle to Maya’s determination to succeed in school, not to mention punctuality.

“I can’t believe it. Maya Sun actually said YES to a date!” Keye skipped to catch up with her.

“Not so loud! And it’s not a date, it’s a study sesh. Very different.” Maya said as she rushed around a corner.

“Okay, but this is groundbreaking! In all our time here, you’ve not ONCE said yes to any kind of date other than Carmichael what’s his face from Seattle that one time and he was a total do–” The bell rang and Maya waved goodbye before ducking through the door of her class, grateful for the interruption from the onslaught.

The rest of the week passed by in an all too quick haze for Maya. She was hoping to be caught up on some things by the end of the week before her study session with Jeremy on Saturday, but by Friday afternoon and a pile of work ahead of her and her duties at the bonfire tonight, Maya was already overwhelmed and feeling very behind.

“The answer is no, Maya. It’s the first gathering of the year and the tribe’s elders will be there. Plus, you only have the spring and summer before you’re off to college and then who even knows how many bonfires you’ll be back for!” Rish choked up a little as she prepared her Five Divine casseroles for the gathering that night. Maya had been pleading with her to let her stay home just this once so that she could tackle some homework before the weekend.

Leave it to Maya’s mother to put tribal business before her daughter’s academic success.

“Ugh, fine, but I’m bringing my English homework to work on during some downtime.” she conceded trudging back upstairs to change. The weather was holding up well for January which was surprising. It was unseasonably warmer, but the air still had a bite to it when the wind blew off of the incoming waves.

Maya decided to layer up and wore a long sleeve black shirt under her baggy black sweater with the wide cuffed collar. She cuffed the sleeves a little just enough to leave her wrists exposed and dawned her late grandmother’s black leather watch. She paired her sweater with a pair of dark jeans, sans rips, and bundled some wool socks under her dark brown boots with a 2-inch heel. Her mom had made a good point, it was the first bonfire of the year so she might as well look presentable.

Her family liked to maintain a certain level of respectability in her community seeing as her mother ran a lot of the gatherings and sat in on council meetings for timekeeping purposes. She had a line in without being a sacred member and Maya knew that that was all she truly wanted in life—to be a bigger part of her community and her tribe’s history.

Maya carefully brushed out her thick black hair and curled some intermittent waves throughout. She dabbed on some pigmented lip stain that accentuated her full mouth and reddened her lips a little. She finished off with a quick swipe of mascara and called it good.

As she clattered down the stairs in her boots, Maya grabbed her brown book bag off the hook by the door and stuffed her notebook, A Passage to India and some pens into her bag.

“Mom! Time to go!” she shouted by the railing. Her father swung around the corner of the kitchen and planted a soft kiss to the top of Maya’s head. He loved bonfire nights almost as much as Maya’s mom. They reminded him of his childhood, sitting next to his father and hearing the legends of their tribe. He tucked into his jacket and held the door open for her as Rish scuttled down the hallway balancing two casserole dishes and pulling her hat off the hook by the door.

When they arrived in the clearing just down the hill from the council’s meeting house, there were already some local boys setting up the bonfire and some tables to host the food. Maya was given a task and set to work, keeping her head down except to say hello to each person who came up to her and exclaimed:

“Oh Maya! The end of your senior year, how are you feeling?”

“Got big plans for college I heard. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and my heart light for you!”

“Oh I just have to introduce you to my grandson. He just got into the University of Montana, I’m sure you two would have lots to talk about.”

Maya was always courteous, a trait her parents hammered into her from a young age. She loved her community but just once, she’d love to be somewhere where no one knew her. Where something about her was a little bit of a mystery and her life wasn’t an open book because people had watched her grow up from birth.

When Rish came over to help her tidy up the spread of food before the elders began telling the legends, a group of towering men caught her eye and she watched them with fascination.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know Sam Uley’s group would be here!” she exclaimed in delight.

“Sam Uley?” Maya said, scoffing a little, “The leader of that protector group the council’s always going on about?”

“Mmmhhmm, they rarely show up to these events anymore. I haven’t seen them in years honestly, not since you were much younger.” Her eyes were still transfixed on the group and she wasn’t the only one.

In the past eight or so years, the tides of opinion had been gradually shifting on Sam Uley’s group. They used to be thought of as thugs, a gang of no good trouble makers that had weird ties and permissions from the council. But slowly, the opinion held by most tribe members had shifted, mostly in part to Sam’s group and the council’s work, at showing that they were integral members of the tribe. Honorable even. People talked about them in hushed reverence now and their presence was always overtly respected. Long gone was the talk of them being a cause for the drug problem in La Push. They were now thought to be the reason why so many drug dealers had been pushed out. Crime was near non-existent in La Push proper and the council publicly attributed that to Sam Uley and his group.

Her mom was mesmerized by them. They were a sight so Maya couldn’t really blame them. They all varied in levels of tallness. And their wide shoulders, hard bodies, and strong features exhibited the most carried traits of their tribe. They were echoes of past warriors, carrying the hearts and minds of their ancestors and for that, they were revered now. And, best of all, according to her mother, they were incredibly beautiful.

“Why don’t you go say hello,” Maya prompted, trying to organize the plastic cutlery into neat cups for distribution.

“Oh, I couldn’t!” Rish actually seemed pretty flustered and Maya let out a snort of delight as she saw the color rush to her mother’s cheeks.

“They’re not celebrities mom, you can just go talk to them,” Maya looked up at the group now. Most of them had their backs turned to her but her eyes widened when her gaze landed on one person in particular. “Oh my god, that’s Jeremy,” she said without thinking.

“Who? Jeremy Treever?” Rish knew everyone. “Where?” She wasn’t even looking in the direction of Sam’s group anymore, clearly unable to recognize the now towering figure of Jeremy amongst the throng of men.

“Right there, in Sam’s group,” Maya said under her breath.

“Oh my god! He was accepted into Sam’s group? That’s amazing! They haven’t taken any new members in years.” Her mouth was slightly ajar and she pointed, “Oh and there’s Mica!”

“Aren’t you the one who told me it’s rude to point?” Maya was acutely embarrassed now. She was not trying to draw attention to herself.

It made sense now—Jeremy’s transformation—that she saw him with Sam’s group. They all seemed to have that similar build and Jeremy fit right in. Maya wondered why Sam had decided to add new members to his group now.

“Let’s go find a spot, they’re about to start.” Rish said as she wiped her hands on her waist-high apron. Clearly she had given up on trying to approach Sam’s group.

Maya ran a hand through her hair, took one last look at the table and felt satisfied. As she sat on a low log next to her mother and father, she caught Becks and Keye’s eyes across the circle. They were standing back and off to the side and shot her a smile and a wave. “Talk after?” Becks mouthed and Maya nodded enthusiastically.

The sun was setting quickly in the late winter light and the bonfire was already raging. The elders were escorted to their seats at the head of the fire and began their part in telling the stories of warriors past. Maya’s favorite was that of the spirit wolf warriors. As a child she always had this recurring dream that she was gliding through the forest at full speed. Under her were paws pounding into the wet earth, but she felt nothing except the cool refreshing breeze on her face. The dream persisted through her teenage years and after every retelling of the spirit wolf warrior story, Maya’s dreams would come back with vigor. Sometimes she was the wolf, other times a golden, tan wolf stood next to her. She would point over the cliff toward the sea and before she could wake up, she would hear her voice say “Wait.”

Maya never knew if she was saying the words “wait” to the wolf or to herself. Sometimes the voice didn’t even sound like hers. Sometimes it sounded like a deep, wanting male voice that made her shiver and always startled her awake in a cold sweat. But she knew that she felt deeply connected to these stories and always relished in their retelling, especially when it was from a tribal elder.

Following the stories, the elders announced some council business and divided up projects and labor among the able-bodied members of the tribe. Maya never really paid much attention to this part, often lost in thought about the stories and where she fit into them in her own personal histories.

“And finally,” Elder Leo said, “We want to offer our thoughts and light hearts to those young members of our tribes waiting to hear back about colleges. Maya Sunriviere is hopeful for some very competitive schools and if accepted, we know she will make her community proud.”

Maya blushed profusely, completely caught off guard by this call out. Her father looped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a sideways hug as she dipped her head and nodded her appreciation at the acknowledgment.

As the announcements came to a close, Maya stood up and looked for her friends over the bonfire. Her face was still red from being singled out but in the firelight it warmed and spread across her whole face in a swath of joy. Maya felt...good. Very good. As she flicked her eyes up, she had the distinct feeling that was she was being watched. And in one defining moment, her life changed.

Across the fire was a member of Sam Uley’s group. When his line of sight collided with hers, Maya felt her entire body freeze. The world around her grew quiet and slow and she felt like she was back in her dream with the tan wolf. Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched this complete stranger hold her gaze like he’d recognized her before, maybe even in lifetimes before this one. Her lips parted slightly as if she was going to say something, but words escaped her and as the recognition flooded his eyes, Maya felt the same wash over her.

She knew him.

She didn’t know how, and didn’t even know his name, but Maya recognized him. A soul acknowledging another soul. The burning in her belly crawled up through her throat and she could only describe the warmth as something akin to pure joy. Her eyes pulled across his face, naturally trying to memorize this moment as everything seemed to have stopped. She took her time letting her eyes roam around the firm, cut jaw with overgrown stumble, the dark eyes reflecting the flames licking up toward the sky. When she tried to place the look on his face, she recognized several emotions flicker across it at once: shock, recognition, understanding, upset, and then finally, was it relief? And then, his smile. Her eyes darted to the warm grin he flashed at her for just a moment and felt addicted by it. But then, he quickly closed his lips over the smile and took a step back, snapping Maya from her reverie all too soon. Immediately, she craved that contact in his eyes again—she'd never felt something more familiar that filled her with want in her entire life. The feeling was totally new but also curiously familiar as if looking at him that way was the most natural thing she'd ever done. It made sense to want to look at him like that, get closer, reach out with one hand extended toward that hard jaw and—

The cold air pressed in around her and she felt her arm being touched. The sounds were slowly coming back to life and she heard her name a couple of times as if she was coming up from under deep water. She swivelled her head to look to her right: Keye was standing there, her eyes flashing wide in confusion.

“You okay?” she said. Was she okay? Maya couldn’t be sure. When she whipped her head back to look for the man again, he had disappeared. “Maya?” Keye pressed again.

“Dude, your mom’s casserole never disappoints.” Becks said over a plateful. Maya shook her head out a little bit, trying to clear the swimming feeling in her brain.

What just happened? She tried to scan the crowd again for any sign of him or Sam Uley’s group but they were gone. When she looked to her right, she saw Elder Mila sitting serenely on the stump still at the head of the bonfire. She was staring back at Maya with a smile so wide she thought her face might crack in two. As Mila nodded at her, Maya couldn’t help but feel that warmth quickly turn to ice at some unconscious understanding at what had happened. She didn’t know what it was, but it no longer boded well.

“Earth to My!” Keye said snapping fingers in front of her face now, “Jeez, are you alright? I thought I lost you.”

“Sorry,” Maya was finally able to murmur. She felt dizzy. “So weird. I thought I just saw—” But how could she explain what she just experienced to her best friends? They would think she was insane: ‘Hey guys, I think my soul just recognized it’s counterpart and I got to find some weird guy I’ve never met before and tell him… I don’t know...I think we’re soulmates?’ Yeah...totally crazy when she sounded it out in her head.

“Who?” Keye prompted, looking around curiously.

“No one,” Maya said. But that statement had never felt as wrong as it did just now. Not no one, the one.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Three

The council meets on a Saturday...

Word count: 3,389

Content warning: Angst, imprinting

What about standing up in front of a group of people automatically makes you feel persecuted? As a woman, it kind of comes with the territory. I can’t even escape it when I read—the pages of my required reading for AP Lit are littered with perceptions of women seen through the eyes of men. Pretty, pouty, reserved. A toe out of line is a swift step toward the pyre. So if I’m stepping into the fire, I’ll lean on Joan of Arc: ‘..To sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.’

Back in her darkened room, Maya still couldn’t seem to catch her breath. The rest of the evening at the bonfire was spent trying to catch a glimpse of the strange man she now felt connected to with a strange, tenuous bond that she swore she could feel tightening in her body.

When the rest of the evening passed without incident, Maya felt a thrumming in her chest start and her breath would catch in her throat. When she returned home, she excused herself to her bedroom, saying she was just tired. Behind the closed door, Maya placed a hand on her chest and tried to take in deep, solid breaths. She felt like she had run a marathon and no amount of calming breath could bring her back to normal.

His eyes swam before her, the firelight flickering in it’s dark depths, as she tried to make sense of what happened. Everything had been fine and now, everything felt somehow complicated, different, and slightly terrifying. Her heart hammered against her chest as she continued to breath, pacing her room for some clarity. Would it feel like this forever? Maya realized now that panic was rising in her. Should she tell her parents? They’d think she was crazy, surely. She might call Becks and run the event past her but she faced the same fear again.

Maya knew that what she felt in those short moments connecting with a stranger across the bonfire in the most visceral way possible had to be real, but how she explained that intense feeling to anyone else, she wasn’t sure.

Maybe…

Maya reached for her cellphone from her back pocket and opened to her most recent text messages with Jeremy. He had texted her earlier this week asking about some history homework they shared. When she opened the message though, and poised her fingers to type out a message, she nearly dropped her phone when she saw the three little dots appear on his end, indicating that he was typing to her. And just as quickly as they appeared, they disappeared. A moment later, they reappeared again. Maya had no idea what to think. Had he witnessed the weirdness between her and the stranger tonight?

If Jeremy was a part of Sam Uley’s group, maybe he knew this guy and could give her some reassurance. She could see it now:

Who? That guy?! Oh yeah, don’t mind him, he’s just a weirdo. You were totally right to feel that, he can be a little….intense. Anyways, what did you write for the short answer response to number 3?

She closed her phone and tossed it on her nightstand, opting to crawl into bed instead. After much tossing and turning, she drifted off, but when she slept, the wolf was there in her dreams. He was waiting for her on the edge of the cliff now. Familiar, calm. Maya didn’t know if she should walk toward him or run the other direction. She stood frozen in place until the wolf pulled it’s head up toward the sky and let out a low mournful howl.

Maya startled awake to her mother shaking her shoulder gently. A strange look was on her face. It was raining but Maya could tell that it was early morning.

“Maya, sweetie,” her mom said softly, stroking some hair out of her face. “I need you to get up. The tribal council has requested a meeting with us.”

A weight like a stone dropped in Maya’s stomach. “What?” she croaked. Her throat was parched and she felt how tight the muscles in her hand were as if she’d been clutching around her sheets all night.

“Get dressed.” her mother said, sweeping out of her room. She could hear low talking in the living room as she pulled herself out of bed. A headache was ratcheting through her skull and she gave herself a minute before standing to ensure she wouldn’t get light headed from standing too quickly. Maya pulled off her clothes from the night before—she hadn’t even bothered changing before bed—before pulling on some light wash jeans and an oversized forest green sweatshirt. She pulled her knotted hair up into a ponytail and brushed her teeth quickly before running downstairs to pull on her rain boots.

Her family had never been summoned by the council before and Maya would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little nervous. Then she remembered elder Mila smiling at her last night, knowingly. Maya wiped the thought from her mind and pulled on her dark blue rain jacket as her parents emerged from the kitchen with odd looks on their face.

“Everything okay?” she probed. Rish looked at Maya’s dad for a split second before nodding and giving an enthusiastic smile.

“Of course! Let’s go, don’t want to be late!”

The council house was a modest cottage down close to La Push beach. Circular skylights dotted the roof to create natural overhead lighting. In the large main room was a long table that took of the majority of the space and chairs of varying shapes behind it. A small hallway led a to a back entrance.

Maya’s family entered the humble cottage through the front door and was greeted warmly by the council members who were made up of: elder Mila, elder Leo, Chief Black, Sue Clearwater, and elder Arbol. Maya was slightly placated by their eager faces and happily accepted the tea they offered her. Her parents sat down in the chairs across from the table and Maya stood behind them.

“Thank you for joining us on such short notice,” Chief Black said with a warm smile on his face. “And we wanted to thank you, Rish, for putting on such a great first gathering for the new year, as always.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure!” Rish blushed somewhat and waved them off. “It was nothing.”

Elder Mila was watching Maya carefully, her kind eyes twinkling in the low light of the cottage.

“We wanted to call you here to discuss a matter that has been brought to our attention. Last night, specifically.” Chief Black’s eyes flickered to Maya for just a moment before staying trained on her parents. The panic was rising in her again and she worked to control her breathing. In and out. Take it slow. She told herself. She was sure everyone could hear the sound of her heart thudding loudly as Chief Black continued. Outside, a low rumble of thunder swept down the beach.

“Oh?” her father said as he looked over his shoulder to glance at Maya. Her eyes darted frightfully to him and the look on his face changed to one of concern. Rish grabbed for her husband’s hand unsure of what was about to come next.

“You are familiar with our Protection group run by Sam Uley, yes?” Chief Black asked. They nodded as Maya remained stock still. “As you may know from our legends, each member is a direct descendant of our spirit warriors, our wolf warriors.”

“I’m familiar with the legends,” Rish said quietly.

“That’s good. That will make this explanation easier. Part of our legends defines the role of the spirit warriors to the tribe. They’re our protectors and keep us safe from outside threats.”

“The cold ones,” her father said to Maya’s surprise. Chief Black fixed him with a serious stare.

“Yes. And though our threats and the roles of the spirit warriors have changed over the years, two things remain true: those threats are still out there and protection is still needed and...that our spirit warriors have the ability to imprint.”

Maya was pulling in small breaths down her throat. Her vision was starting to blur from lack of air, she thought, or maybe it was just the panic making her lightheaded.

“Im-imprint?” Rish said confused.

“It’s the sacred bond between a wolf warrior and his or her soulmate. The imprint is integral to the warrior’s strength and focus, and is thus an integral part of our tribe’s protection. The imprint comes to the warrior when they need them most and last night...your daughter became an imprint.” Elder Mila said gently. Maya closed and opened her hands trying to stay here in this room.

“I’m sorry.” her mother said after a moment. Maya’s father was silent as he considered this. He was well versed in the legends of the spirit warriors and he seemed to have a better grasp of what was happening than her mother in this moment. “Are you saying that one of Sam’s group thinks my daughter is their soulmate?”

“Not think. Is. Maya is now intricately tied to the history and continuance of this tribe. Being an imprint is honorable and sacred and should be held as such. She will always be protected by her imprinter.” Elder Leo confirmed.

Rish’s mouth hung open in shock as she turned to look up at her daughter, but Maya’s eyes were trained forward, watching Chief Black with a sense of urgency. Even with the explanation, Maya wasn’t sure why she felt this way.

“And who might I ask is this mysterious person who has imprinted on her?” Rish said a little defensively. Maya’s father squeezed Rish’s hand reassuringly.

“Paul Lahote,” Billy Black said as he gestured toward the door. As he did, Paul walked through, a stern and measured look on his face. Maya stared at him and instantly recognized him as the man she had seen the night before. Paul. she thought, the name floating around in her head. He refused to look at her, she noticed. The relief she had read on his face last night was clearly replaced now with what she could only pick up as...irritation? Anger? He came to stand off to the side wall, facing the council.

“This is ridiculous. He’s a grown man! He’s 30! And you’re telling me he’s Maya’s soulmate!?” her mother was getting upset now and rightly so.

“He’s 28,” Sue Clearwater corrected with a gentle smile. To Paul she gave a sympathetic look. Maya was finally able to pull her gaze away from staring at Paul’s profile.

Her breathing evened out and the headache she had felt earlier had ebbed away. By all physical measure, she felt better, but the panic was still there and he wouldn’t look at her. Was that intentional?

“My daughter is 18. Imprint or not, this is inappropriate,” her mother finally says.

“Rish.”

“No Tom!” Rish shoots back at Maya’s father.

“As the imprint, Maya determines the relationship,” Chief Black says gently, “That means that it can be that of a friend, older brother, protector, mentor, or romantic partner if she chooses. The imprinter respects the pace set by the imprint.”

Rish seemed somewhat soothed by this but was still a little uneasy about the whole thing. Maya realized her hands were clenched into fists and she was hyper aware of Paul’s presence across the room. She felt an unconscious pull that was willing her to cross the room and make contact. The ache of it made her uncomfortable and she was almost annoyed that it was causing her physical discomfort to be in this predicament with him. She could tell from his side profile that he held the same look—annoyance that showed he desperately wanted to be anywhere but here.

“I feel like I have to stress, given the circumstances that while this is a little out of the norm,” Chief Black said. Maya internally laughed--what exactly was the norm in this weird circumstance? She was still teetering on if this was even a real thing, “And while Maya determines the characteristics of the imprint relationship, there must be a relationship between them of some kind. It is imperative that they maintain their connection in whatever vein they choose, but ultimately, there must be something.” He said this with a tone of finality in his voice and Maya noticed that his gaze was set on Paul and the look suggested that he has no choice but to cooperate.

Did he not want her as his imprint? Maya was floored and suddenly, that uncomfortable pull inside her transforms into hurt. She wanted to laugh out loud at herself for even caring that he didn’t want her. She didn’t even know him, so what. But still, the pain etched itself into her belly and she tried to keep her face serene and unreadable. When he nods his consent to the request, stone cold, Maya realizes she can’t take anymore.

She turns on her heel and bolts out the front door. The air is thick and the humidity nearly chokes her as she runs as hard as she can up the beach. Her rain boots aren’t really meant for running but she pushes on—she’d deal with the blisters later.

As Maya reaches the curve of the beach that takes her out of sight of the council house, she pauses and bends over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. The skies open up and drip heavy wet drops of rain around her on the sand making satisfying splatting sounds around her. The rain started in earnest now and she was completely drenched. The discomfort and hurt bubbled up in her and she stood up straight, still huffing for air, before she threw her head back and let out a desperate, frustrated scream. Rain dripped down the back of her throat and she pulled off her rain boots, letting her toes dig into the damp sand as she made her way back home.

Her parents beat her home since they drove down to the council house. Maya comes through the front door, leaving her rain boots on the porch, dripping from head to toe.

“Maya?” her mother calls from the kitchen. She quickly swings around the corner, her eyes frantic and then relieved at the sight of her “Goodness, you scared me running off like that. Are you okay?! Let me get you a towel,” she said, noticing the puddle forming around Maya’s feet.

Maya was speechless. She didn’t know what to say or what this even meant for her, she just wanted to douse herself in hot water and crawl into bed. The walk back had done nothing to clear her mind.

Rish was back upon her with a towel, wrapping it gently around her shoulders and rubbing her arms. After a silent moment of communication between them, Rish put her hands on Maya’s cheeks.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetie.” she said softly. Maya so much wanted that to be true, but she had so many questions, none of which she wanted to ask. Rish leaned in and planted a warm kiss to her cold forehead. “This can be a good thing.” she whispered into her hair. Maya still said nothing and when she pushed out of her mom’s arms and climbed the steps, Rish didn’t follow her.

The rain slapped against her window as Maya wrapped herself up in bed after her shower. She didn’t even bother changing into any pajamas, she just opted to stay in her towel, her wet hair sticking to her back. Her gaze was transfixed out the rainy window and the thoughts that had plagued her throughout her shower were back.

She was an imprint. Which meant, if she understood the legends right, that he had some ridiculous claim on her. Imprints were revered in the history of her people but what Maya was hung up on was the fact that all of the imprints in the stories and legends were with their imprinter. As in together, together—marriage, kids, the whole thing.

In all the stories of wolf warriors and their imprints, she didn’t remember a single story that ended with them just being friends. Maya suddenly felt all of the air leave the room at this thought. Her whole life she was hoping to get off this reservation and now...now she didn’t know what the future held.

Would she still be able to leave for college? Would she always be tied to this place physically and this person forever? Why did Paul look so upset when Chief Black told him he must have some kind of contact with her? Was it because she was 18, in high school, and had her whole life ahead of her still? She hoped it was that and not the other insecurity that was plaguing her.

Maya wasn’t sure how long she sat there staring out her bedroom window but at one point, she snapped herself out of it and reached for her phone, determined. She had missed her study date with Jeremy, but unfortunately, she realized that he probably already understood why.

She navigated to her messages with Jeremy and typed a hasty message: Hey, sorry about missing our hangout today...something came up.

Maya didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

Jeremy: No worries. I assumed as much considering the whole imprint thing. How are you feeling?

Maya exhaled a puff of air surprised that he was so open and willing to talk about it. She got the distinct feeling in that room that what the council told her was not public knowledge. But if Jeremy was part of Sam’s group, he probably had a better understanding of what was going on than any of her friends. She hesitated to reply and then said:

Yeah, it’s...weird. I don’t know how to feel. He looked...upset at being there.

J: Who Paul?

M: Yeah…

J: Don’t take it too personal. He was caught off guard last night. I don’t think he thought he would ever imprint. You blindsided him.

M: Me blindside him?! Hello! Less than 24 hours ago I still had my freedom, now I have all of this… instant history.

J: LOL. That’s a funny way of putting the imprint “instant history.” I like that.

Maya didn’t know what else to say. She had so many questions but she wasn’t sure if Jeremy was the person to ask these things, but he was kind of all she had at this point. Before she could respond, Jeremy hit her with the double text.

J: So what are you going to do?

M: About what?

J: Uhhh, the imprint. Everything?

M: It doesn’t really feel like I have choice when it comes to anything any more. Especially the imprint.

J: I think you do have a choice, the way just doesn’t look like it used to. It’s just gonna take some time. I’m here...by the way.

M: Thanks, Jeremy.

She flopped back onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling. What was she going do, indeed. Maya had no clue. After a hot second of panic, she felt her phone buzz aggressively in her hand. When she brought her phone up to her face a voice bellowed on the other end.

“UUUUH WHAT THE FUCK SOMEONE SAID THEY SAW YOU AT THE COUNCIL HOUSE TODAY?! WHAT’S GOING ON?”

Keye’s words smashed on top of one another. Maya sighed.

“It’s a mess. Can you get Becks on the line so I don’t have to tell this cluster fuck of a story twice?” Maya said. Might as well bite the bullet on this one. Of everyone on the planet, she knew she could trust her best friends to understand.

“Yeah, hold on one second.”

As Maya waited patiently for Becks to get on the line, she tried to figure out the best way to break the news to them. But when Becks picked up suddenly Maya was at a loss.

“What’s going on?” Becks said worried. Maya groaned and like ripping off a bandaid she said:

“Paul Lahote is my soulmate.”

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Four

Sunday blues...

Word count: 4,244

Content warnings: None

Sundays are the saddest of all days. I used to love them though. My dad and I had a long running tradition where we’d go kayaking or hiking or just driving around the rez to spend time together. That kind of ended when I started high school though. My Sundays were swallowed with endless homework, community commitments or school events. Nothing good ever happens on a Sunday anymore.

Maya knew things were off when she slept most of Saturday day and into Saturday night. The rain helped but she had no desire to do her homework, let alone pull herself out of bed. Maybe it was getting drenched and the subsequent shock of the day, but she was still trying to come to terms with everything.

Keye and Becks had been exceptionally supportive as she knew they would be.

“What the actual fuck. That’s completely...I have no idea what to say My.” Becks said after Maya had told them about the council meeting, the imprint, and how she had felt which solidified that this might actually be real.

“It’s fucking creepy is what it is. What are you some child bride?! I can’t believe the council supports this. You remember Tiff Turkey?” Keye said hurriedly. She’d been a blast of chaotic energy throughout the whole conversation.

“Thats not her name Keye,” Maya said, her voice monotone.

“It is her fucking name, she thinks she slick, I know what she was doing in that utility closet with Kyle Corning during the spring fling. That girl got basted like a turkey!” Keye retorted. Maya covered her eyes with her hand, still in her towel from the shower.

“Didn’t you let Hurley Chast motorboat you in that utility closet sophmore year?” Becks said nonchalantly. Maya let out a laugh. She was grateful for the distraction.

“That’s not the POINT! The point is, Tiff Turkey saw those guys roughing up some weird dudes outside of town. They were at that grungy nightclub we’ve always wanted to go to. These guys were very sketchy. Sam and his disciples showed up out of nowhere and hassled them out of there quick! Tiff said she got a mega weird vibe from Sam and his crew.” Keye concluded.

“What’s your point again?” Maya said suddenly after a brief pause.

“That they’re WEIRD, okay?! You can’t be caught up in weird shit. You’re going IVY LEAGUE BABE. What if it’s actually a gang?! This imprinting thing sounds like some backwards Caligula nonsense.”

“Oh gross,” Becks said, making a joking gag noise. “Keye, don’t freak her out. That’s not what this is. From what I remember from the stories, the imprint is just supposed to be a bond thing. Gives the warriors purpose and incentive to protect the tribe. Ties them more closely to the land and calls them home, like in the hunter/gatherer days.”

“What...does that have to do with me now? We’re way past hunting and gathering, so what, I’m just randomly tied to this guy I don’t know for life? Also, can we please talk about the fact that none of the imprints in our legends are just friends with their imprinters?!”

“Yeah, that’s a tough one. They do always end up together...” Becks said calmly.

“You need to skip fucking town. Can you like graduate early and just go move to wherever the fuck and lay low for a while? You’re technically 18 so...” Keye said, she was starting to sound frantic. She had a point—Maya was legally allowed to leave but she wasn’t going to run. Why should she? This was her town too.

“Ha! Like my parents would ever let that happen. And anyway, that’s not even an option. Chief Black said we have to have some kind of relationship. Full stop. And Paul looked pissed about it.” Maya paused and then said softly, “Do you think I’m the first imprint in history to have their imprinter not like them?”

“Impossible, you’re adorable.” Keye said quickly.

“Yeah, I don’t think it works like that Maya. The whole point of the imprint is that you’re soulmates right? And you said you have like this...physical reaction to him that’s not lust, it’s something else right? That’s gotta mean he feels that too. There’s no way it’s one sided.”

“Unless he’s fighting it.” Maya said. She groaned again and rolled over. Why did she even care?! If he didn’t like her that made her getting out easier. Maybe it was the imprint or maybe it was the fact that she was thrilled at the thought that someone liked her like that and she’d never felt like this before, but she wanted him to like her at least a little bit. Maybe then whatever this weight was in her stomach would go away and she could breathe easier again.

“Just...feel it out. Give it a chance and maybe it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking.” Becks said reassuringly. Keye snorted in rebuttal.

“Yeah, the super buff, hot guy in his twenties who probably wants to impregnate you if you gave him the chance might not be so bad.” Keye joked. Becks started in on Keye again but Maya had a sinking feeling in her stomach that what Keye said might be closer to the truth than she wanted.

Maya had spent the rest of Saturday locked in her room and vacillating between working on her English paper and Physics homework and getting up to pace her room. Her mother knocked on her bedroom door intermittently to check on her, but each time Maya proclaimed that she was fine and just working.

That night's sleep was fitful and the wolf was back again. It was starting to feel like a nagging presence and this time in her dream, Maya took a step forward. The wolf’s eyes were trained on her feet at the movement and she wondered if it might attack her, but it stood there waiting.

Sunday morning, Maya made her way downstairs for some coffee and breakfast. Her parents were wary around her but seemed generally recovered from yesterday’s news. Tom, Maya’s dad, was chipper and asked Maya if she wanted to help him clear out his shed today. The day was cold and bright, but Maya still needed to finish her paper, so she excused herself after breakfast, intent on getting it done. Her mother gave her a knowing look as she went and heard Rish mumble something to her dad as she ascended the steps to her room.

Throughout the morning, Maya’s phone buzzed annoyingly. Some were from Becks and Keye checking in, but mostly the same bothersome number that kept popping up was Jeremy’s. The preview of messages on her lock screen filtered in over the next few hours from him:

Jeremy: Sundays, right? Aha...how are you holding up?

J: You take AP Spanish right? Como se…

J: Did you hear that Tara got into UW?

J: Sorry, you’re probably still waiting on letters…

J: Where did you apply to again?

J: Are you okay? I don’t want to bug…

J: After sending that I realized I probably am bugging you…

J: We could meet up to study if you…

J: Give me a call if you want to talk or go over the answers to…

After the tenth text message, Maya switched her phone to silent so she could work without the constant buzzing and lighting up of her phone.

Shortly after noon, Maya got up to take a break, grab some water and go to the bathroom. Her mom was in the kitchen seasoning steaks.

“Woah, fancy.” Maya said absently referring to the steaks.

“Seemed like a good time for it,” her mom shrugged and Maya nodded, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and making her exit.

As she took a swig of her water bottle, holding the feeling of water in her mouth for a minute before she pushed open her bedroom door, she had the sharp feeling of tension buzz through her head. It was kind of like that feeling you get when you know someone is standing behind you and you’re preparing yourself to not be startled by it. Maya hesitated and then pushed her door open quickly to see a handsome face peering into her second story bedroom window.

Immediately, Maya spit out her water. No amount of preparation could have anticipated this. She looked behind her down the empty hallway and then quickly shut her door before darting to the closed window and wrenching it open.

“Jeremy, what the FUCK are you doing?!” Maya said in a shocked whisper. He gave her a lopsided grin and pulled his body through the open window with a light grunt.

“Thanks,” he said, getting his bearings in her room. He looked around curious, clearly not understanding why Maya was so shocked by his sudden presence.

“How the hell did you get up here!?” She glanced out the window and saw there was no ladder that her dad stored out in the shed propped against the side of the house.

“I do parkour, it’s not that hard,” he said, now moving around her room without permission. She suddenly realized he was shirtless.

“Jeremy, what the hell are you doing here? And where the fuck is your shirt?”

“Jeez, touchy.” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Aren’t you freezing? I have a hoodie I think that would fit you, hold on,” she said, turning to her closet. The shock was wearing off and Maya was switching into polite caretaker—another trait her parents had hammered into her.

“Nah, I’m fine, really.” he said sitting on the edge of her bed now. Maya was a little perturbed at how naturally comfortable he was in her room. “Why haven’t you been answering my texts?” he said, sounding a little put out.

“What?” Maya said.

“My texts, I’ve been trying to talk to you,” he said. Maya rolled her eyes and then, ever aware of being rude she shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m working and my phone’s on silent. I’m sorry. Was there something important?” She almost turned to grab her phone and check.

“Just….wanted to see how you were,” he said. Maya raised an eyebrow at him.

“What’s going on?” she said finally.

“Nothings going on, I’m just...trying to be a friend,” he said. He wouldn’t meet her eyes and Maya had the distinct feeling that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.

“Jeremy...No offense but we’ve had very minimal contact until this imprint thing happened and you became one of Sam’s crew. So fess up, what aren’t you telling me?”

“I’m not not telling you anything,” he said, and then gave her a sly grin which he quickly wiped off his face when he saw the angry one of Maya’s.

“I swear to god, Jeremy. I will scream and get your ass kicked out of here so quick.”

“Okay, okay. Jeez, chill. I’ve been asked to...to check on you. As a...favor,” he stumbled over the word ‘favor’ as if it didn’t quite fit what he was describing. Maya stared at him confused for a moment and then realization dawned on her.

“Oh my god, it’s him isn’t it? He asked you to check on me?!” When Jeremy didn’t respond Maya let out a harsh laugh. “This is just great.” Why was he checking on her? This made absolutely no sense. Yesterday, he wouldn’t even look at her and now he has Jeremy doing his bidding for him? “Well, what are you going to tell him then?”

Jeremy took a moment to choose his words carefully and then said, nonchalantly, “That I checked and you seemed fine, and that you’re bad at answering text messages.”

Fine, he wanted to spy so would she. Maya sat down at her desk and swiveled her chair to face Jeremy.

“What’s his deal anyway?”

“What do you mean?” Jeremy said as he hopped up off her bed and resumed his look around her room. Maya pulled her knees up close to her chest and let her eyes follow him.

“Paul,” she said his name slowly, just feeling his name in her mouth gave her a weird sensation, “He seems...mad about all of this. You said it was because he thought he’d never imprint?”

“Yeah, I mean imprinting isn’t supposed to be that common apparently. But we’ve also never had a pack this big before, so it makes sense that more of us would, I guess.” Pack? That was a weird way to refer to their group, she thought. “Paul just thought that since he made it this far without imprinting that maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for him. And then you happened and he’s just kind of been...off since then.”

“Off?” Maya said. Jeremy pulled a book off of her shelf.

“Yeah, like distracted, snaps a lot. I mean he was kind of a hot head before, but you can tell he’s stressed and he loses it a bit more.” Jeremy suddenly stopped and turned to face her. Maya swallowed hard. “Don’t take that the wrong way, he’s a good guy.”

“A good guy,” Maya was tempted to roll her eyes again, “Great. What else?”

“What else...uhhh, I don’t know what do you want to know?”

“How long has he been in Sam’s group? What does he do? Who does he hang out with? What’s he like?” Maya couldn’t help but let the questions spill out of her. They’d been plaguing her all night and Jeremy seemed up to offering some answers.

“Ahhh, shouldn’t you ask him that yourself?” he said skeptically.

“You think he’d talk to me right now?” she retorted, annoyed.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he replied. She knew that was coming but it still kind of hurt. “Let’s see...he’s been in Sam’s group for awhile, since he was 17 I think? So 11 years. Long time. Uhh, he doesn’t really hang out with anyone outside of the pack, seems kind of a lone wolf,” he smirked at this, like he was laughing at an inside joke. “And what was your other question? What’s he like? He’s…” Jeremy looked at Maya carefully, “I don’t know Maya, he’s Paul. My interaction with him is definitely different than what it’s supposed to be with an imprint. He’s kind of a jerk? But also super loyal and takes protection very seriously. I’ve only been hanging out with the guy for a month so it’s not like I know him that well,” Jeremy skirted. Maya’s palms were sweating nervously.

She was having a hard time catching her breath again and Jeremy noticed.

“Oh jeez, Maya, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. He really is good and he’ll come around. I just wanted to make sure you were okay—he wanted to make sure you were okay….Ah,” he looked out her window suddenly as if he heard a call coming from outside. “Listen, I have to go, but please just text me if you need anything.”

Before Maya could say anything else, Jeremy was hopping out of her window. She let out a startled cry and rushed to the window, sticking her head out to see Jeremy land softly from the drop and jog off around the side of the house.

Her gaze lifted to look out over the bay that backed her house. The cold wind whipped at her face and Maya found that her brain was stuck on one thing that Jeremy had said.

He’s kind of a jerk.

Paul was a jerk? Her soulmate was a jerk? Great..

The evening was quickly encroaching on Maya’s study time. She finally wrapped her paper just before dinner and went to wash her face. Since she had practically been wearing the same outfit since yesterday, Maya changed into a light pink sweater, her white bralette peeked out of the deep V of the neck line. She pulled on some heather grey soft sleep shorts and brushed her hair out before fixing it up in a high ponytail. Her hair was so heavy that it gave her headaches. She toyed with the idea of cutting it short like Becks’ but hadn’t mustered the courage yet.

Just as she finished putting some face lotion on in her bathroom mirror, Maya heard the doorbell ring. They rarely had people show up at the house unannounced, let alone on a Sunday. Maya ignored it and smoothed some nourishing oil across her cheeks that made her soft brown skin glow in the light.

“Maya!” her mom called from downstairs. “Can you get the door please?” Maya fixed the cap on her oil and shuffled out of the bathroom and down the stairs to the front door.

“Got it!” she called over her shoulder as she pulled the door open. The cold air rushed over her exposed legs but Maya immediately burned hot from the visitor standing on her doorstep.

Paul Lahote stood towering on her porch. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and dark wash jeans with shiny brown shoes. He had pushed his shaggy black ink hair back away from his face and the stubble she saw yesterday was clean shaven away. His eyes instantly connected with hers and Maya felt her heart fall clean through her. This was the closest she’d ever been to him and her eyes moved from his eyes to roam around his body, taking in the large sinewy arms, broad shoulders, and wide hands. His skin was a warm shade of red brown, like he’s out in the sun a lot. Her eyes rested on the line of his mouth, his lips looked soft and full and Maya felt a rush pull through before she instantly snapped back to the present and got a hold of herself.

“What are you doing here?” she breathed. His mouth parted slightly as if to respond. His eyes had never left her even as she had stolen a glance to take him all in, but before he could respond, Maya’s mom was behind her at the door with a smile on her face.

“He’s here for dinner. Paul welcome! Thank you for joining us,” Maya was speechless, her mouth hung open in shock. “Maya move please, let Paul in, it’s freezing.” For the second time in less than a minute Maya had to get a grip. She turned sideways and pressed her body against the doorframe so Paul could come in.

“Thanks,” his voice was low and soft and he gave Rish a warm smile. She pulled him back toward their dining room. Maya stood frozen in the doorway as the icy wind licked at her legs. She looked down suddenly, mortified at what she was wearing and before she could run upstairs to change she had a change of heart.

Why should she care what she looked like? She wasn’t trying to reel him in, get him to like her. It seemed like he pretty much already made his mind up about her anyway. Maya decided to use this unwanted intrusion to figure out if he really was a jerk and hopefully, get some answers.

She closed the door and padded toward the kitchen.

“Maya, can you please bring the pitcher of water to the table? Please please sit!” her mom continued to Paul in their dining room. Maya saw her father coming in from the back with steaks in hand. He wore a smile and seemed genuinely pleased to see Paul. She pulled the pitcher of water from the fridge and gave a great sigh, steeling herself to be in front of him again and walked into the dining room.

As she emerged from the kitchen she noticed Paul immediately looked at her but just as quickly he fitted his gaze back to her mother. She felt that familiar magnetized pull in her body toward him and wondered for a second if he felt it too. Setting the pitcher down, she hesitated to choose a seat. Should she sit across from him? That would offer the most physical distance but she was more likely to catch his eye that way. If she sat off to the side of him, it might look like she was trying to be close to him which he clearly didn’t want.

God, shut up, just sit down, her brain shouted at her. Why was she overthinking this?!

“Maya, sit here.” Her mom pulled out a chair next to Paul and the decision was made for her. Her father set the steaks down in the center and he sat at the head of the table across from Paul after shaking his hand and exchanging pleasantries. Her mother was chattering away about council stuff at Paul that Maya didn’t even know if he cared or knew about. She sunk into the chair next to him and out of the corner of her eye saw him shift in his seat positioning his body ever so slightly away from her.

Maya internally groaned and the weirdest dinner ever ensued.

“So, Paul what do you do for work?” Her father asked in between bites of steak. They’d already blown through a host of topics including where Paul lived (just at the edge of the reservation close to the beach on Red River Road), if he had any family left in the area (he didn’t), what he did in Sam’s group (neighborhood watch stuff and mentoring), and if he enjoyed the bonfire gathering (he did, very much).

“I’m a private contractor...carpentry mostly. I do work in the area but most of my clientele is in the greater Seattle area,” he said.

“You’re being modest, Sue says your work is very sought after.” Her mother interjected. So she was doing reconnaissance as well, Maya thought. To this though, Paul simply shrugged and said:

“It pays the bills.” Her father chuckled and nodded, silently commiserating. Paul glanced sideways at Maya. He seemed to be trying to read her expression, but Maya kept her face smooth, feeling his eyes on her as she pushed the broccoli around on her plate.

“Maya, can you refill the pitcher please?” Her mother asked. Maya stood immediately and leaned across the table to grab the pitcher. Paul cleared his throat and averted his eyes. As she left for the kitchen she heard her mother continue,

“We’re so proud of Maya, she’s got big college plans and the start to this year has already been stressful what with school and waiting for her acceptances and the..uhh imprint. Everything’s an adjustment, but we’re just so hopeful for the future.” Maya rolled her eyes as she slowly filled the pitcher at the sink—leave it to her mother to brag.

“The council seemed pretty proud of her at the bonfire.” he replied. She could just see the light shining out of her mother’s face now.

“Oh yes, the first ivy hopeful for our community. It’s a big deal,” her mother said.

“We want those things for her.” Her dad suddenly interjected and Maya’s eyes went wide. Oh god. There was a clear awkward pause. Should she make a run for it now?

“I do too,” she heard Paul say firmly.

“Good,” her father replied. Maya’s mother quickly changed the subject as Maya came back into the room. Paul’s eyes flickered to her again when she re-entered as if he couldn’t help himself.

By the end of the night, her parents seemed to love him.

“I’ll walk you out.” Maya says, resigned. She hadn’t said a word all night. Paul's eyes were instantly drawn to the sound of her voice. After a handshake with her father and a wave to her mother, Maya led Paul down the hallway to the front door. She pulled it open and he quickly exited. Maya followed him over the threshold and left the door slightly ajar. She crossed her arms in front of her body instantly cold in the frosty January night.

“Thanks for coming, I guess.” she said, letting her eyes rest on his now. Her body relaxed the tension it had been holding in a great exhale. Can someone be simultaneously tense and relaxed?

“Something tells me you didn’t know I would be coming by,” he said gently. He was careful to look nowhere else but her eyes.

Maya shook her head, pursing her lips.

“Sorry about that,” he tried. Maya shrugged.

“It’s fine.” His eyes looked around her face now and Maya had the feeling that he was trying to read her again, or maybe buying time. Her body ached to get closer, the cold was causing goosebumps to ripple down her body and her lip trembled slightly from the cold.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised, backing down the stairs before turning toward his forerunner. Maya watched him go, holding herself in place on the porch even though she was freezing. When he turned on the headlights, the bright light washed over her body, lighting her up. She could just see him beyond the windshield. He was staring at her intensely, a look of fire in his eyes as he gripped the steering wheel.

Maya sucked in a quick breath of air and for a beat they stared at each other. Then, he flipped into reverse and quickly pulled down and out of the drive.

What the fuck.

Next > >

[since0202]

Taking Time—Chapter Forty Sneak Preview

A side dish of surprise

“Feeling good?” he asked with a grin. Maya let out a satisfied breath and smiled up at him.

“Yeah, really good. Feels like home,” she admitted easily. He nodded and kissed the top of her head before rubbing her lower back.

“Good, let’s go have some more fun,” his eyes were determined and Maya felt her stomach drop.

Paul placed one warm hand on the line of her jaw, his thumb stroking the expanse of her soft cheek that was pricking with pink and leaned his face slowly toward hers. Maya’s heart accelerated, her hand coming to circle his wrist as if this was the first time she was being kissed like this when in reality, Paul had kissed her like this many times. But something about how she felt now, enveloped in this home with her family and Paul anchored easily to her side, made her see everything so much clearer than she had before she left for Columbia.

Just as Paul’s lips brushed the tips of hers, a gentle smile still playing at his lips, there was a soft knock behind them. Paul’s eyes pulled across Maya’s face, her eyes wanting and needy. He nudged his nose gently against hers before straightening and crossing the living room to the front door. Maya took a few steps to follow him, placing both of her hands in the back pockets of her tight black jeans and as Paul pulled the door open, the chill of the sea breeze sliced through the air and cut Maya to the bone. She was briefly reminded of the cold she felt in her dream last night, the sharp red eyes, the laughter turning into screams—but she shut her eyes quickly to shake away that image. When she looked back at Paul, his entire body had hardened in what she could only assume was defense and Maya automatically took a step closer to him.

Just as Paul’s lips brushed the tips of hers, a gentle smile still playing at his lips, there was a soft knock behind them. Paul’s eyes pulled across Maya’s face, her eyes wanting and needy. He nudged his nose gently against hers before straightening and crossing the living room to the front door. Maya took a few steps to follow him, placing both of her hands in the back pockets of her tight black jeans and as Paul pulled the door open, the chill of the sea breeze sliced through the air and cut Maya to the bone. She was briefly reminded of the cold she felt in her dream last night, the sharp red eyes, the laughter turning into screams—but she shut her eyes quickly to shake away that image. When she looked back at Paul, his entire body had hardened in what she could only assume was defense and Maya automatically took a step closer to him.

“Well if it isn’t big ole Paul Lahote! I didn’t think you could get any bigger from the last time I saw you, but they sure do feed you boys out here pretty good,” a comforting laugh could be heard coming from the doorframe. Maya raised her eyebrows in confusion, unable to discern what could be the cause for Paul’s alarm at such a kind and warm voice, but she couldn’t see around his giant frame to get a good look at the visitor.

“When did you get back?” Paul said in a tone of forced interest.

“Ah well, it felt like it was time and I heard Jake made his way back too. Billy called,” he said. Strange. Maya thought. She didn’t recognize the voice that dripped with so much familiarity for her family which meant maybe he wasn’t from the rez. As if on cue, Chief Black clambered through the back door that led to the festivities that lay beyond it and bellowed a greeting.

“I thought I heard a deserter!” he said clasping his hands together. Paul stepped away from the door revealing an older man in a grey shirt and tartan plaid long sleeve. His face was friendly, if worn, and his hair was a pleasing salt and pepper gray, tinging the same around the corners of his prominent mustache. Paul immediately closed the two steps toward Maya and pulled her away from the door, closer to the living room, slotting her into the side of him and almost trying to keep her from the new arrival’s field of view. Maya, still confused, looked up to Paul’s face to try and discern some silent explanation but none came.

“Charlie,” Chief Black confirmed as he wrapped the man in a warm hug and patted his back.

The man returned the hug and patted his back roughly in greeting.

“It’s good to be home, finally,” Charlie said as he glanced warmly toward Paul again.

“A lot has changed,” Chief Black pulled back and held Charlie at arms length, looking upon him with the love that only a very old friend could. “I’m sure you remember Paul.” Chief Black gestured to him.

“Oh yes,” Charlie said with a glint of mischievous recognition in his eye, “Caused enough trouble back then to make his face known to us all at the station,” he joked. Chief Black let out a barking laugh.

“This is his partner Maya Sunriviere,” Chief Black said. Paul let Maya fold herself out of his side somewhat as she pushed toward the two older gentlemen, but he kept a firm grasp on her hip as if to yank her back behind him at any moment. What the fuck is going on? This old dude seems fine.

“Nice to meet you,” Maya said, clearing her throat and reaching out her hand. Charlie shook it genialy and his eyes transformed into one of hopeful recognition.

“Well, it seems like Paul has gotten a taste of his own medicine,” Charlie gibed, “More trouble,” he said kindly to Maya who could only take it as a compliment at that point and let out a little laugh. Maya felt Paul's fingers tug at her hip to guide her back to him and she obliged, not wanting to stress him out further when she had no idea what was going on. Charlie gave them a once over and said almost dreamily, “Reminds me a bit of my Bells,” before turning to look at Chief Black who gave a conspiratorial laugh and pulled him under his arm to steer him toward the backyard.

“Let’s hope not,” he returned. Maya heard a deep growl coming from Paul’s throat as he kept them firmly planted in the living room.

“Paul,” Maya said gently, her hand patting his chest. His eyes were trained toward the two sauntering men as if they’d morph into ungodly creatures and turn and attack at any moment. “What’s going on?” she whispered.

Paul’s grip tightened again to almost a bruising degree and he shook his head before looking down at her. “Nothing,” he said as he began steering her after them toward the backyard. His shoulders had relaxed, but the grip he held on her was still tight and protective.

As they entered the backyard, the noise returned as the crash of voices rose and fell over one another. There were shouts of laughter, jokes, and general murmurings of discussion, but it quelled somewhat when Chief Black cried out, “Look who made it!”

The reception out here was much more welcoming than the one Paul had given Charlie inside. Sue Clearwater scurried around the table to wrap Charlie in a warm hug and Sam gave him a kind smile and shook his hand. Seth’s smile could be seen from space as Charlie gave a whoop of noise and yanked him into a tight hug. Everyone seemed pleased to see this mystery man which made Maya worry about why Paul was so defensive and hesitant earlier. Everyone gathered around Charlie as if he was a prodigal son returning, a long lost relative back from dead—everyone except…

[since0202]

Chapter 24: Break

Warning: Uuuuh, sad. 

It all happened so fast. 

Rachel Black, Jake’s older sister, had laughed as Grace had launched her body full force into hers. The two tumbled to the beach in a heap as the pack and their partners made their way over to them. 

“Gracie!” Rachel giggled hugging her back just as tightly, “Oh it feels like home seeing you.” She said. 

Grace had helped her up to get a good look at her. Rachel was a little taller than Grace but had the same beautiful angled face as Jacob. Except where his hard edges protruded, hers softened. She had chopped her black hair into a short bob just above her shoulders but her cheeks were just as pink and pronounced as ever. Her amber brown eyes sparkled in the sea light. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Grace said breathless. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m back home from college, just for the summer before I start my thesis this fall. Biodynamic Farming in Indigenous Communities. So I guess you could say i’m here for research?” 

“That’s great! Wow!” 

“Hey!” Rachel called over her shoulder as the others moved toward them. They all were suddenly crowded around them. Rachel was always a calming presence for Grace. All through her childhood, she was there in her memories. She was the thread that tied her, Jake, and Grace together. And now she was here, same bubbly beautiful Rachel. 

Everything suddenly started to move in slow motion. Rachel still had her arm wrapped around Grace’s shoulder, refusing to let her go just yet as she pulled Quil into a one arm hug, and then Embry. 

And then. 

Paul. Her Paul. 

Rachel and Paul took one look at each other and the world shifted violently under Grace’s feet. 

“Paul Lahote, right?” Rachel had said, some coloring of recognition moving across her face. She had to have felt it. How could she not have? The feeling was palpable between them. The air electrified at this emergent shift in destiny.

Paul didn’t move, his eyes darting from Grace to Rachel quickly. He was tethered. Rachel let go of Grace and stepped toward him, magnetized almost. The rest of the pack looked around at each other, uncomfortable and waves started to echo and crash in Grace’s head like someone turned up the volume too loud.

Leah was next to Grace in an instant. She threaded her fingers into hers and leaned in close to Grace’s ear. 

“Time to go.” She whispered. It wasn’t an ask, but it was urgent, begging almost. At least Grace couldn’t remember if she had asked or not.

But either way, in the next second, Grace was gone. 

Grace looped an arm around her midsection and sank to the bottom of the shower letting the hot water move over her back. The scene wouldn’t stop replaying in her head. Like a broken record for the past five days between being awake or asleep, the scene replayed in her head. She had to hold herself together now to get through the pain of that moment. Again and again it screamed through her brain. 

Paul Lahote, right?

Grace gripped the side of the tub as she felt herself breaking apart again. Steam choking the air around her. She tried her best to stay whole and to stay here. In the past few days, Grace had been having trouble controlling her recasting. Bella thought it must be a side effect of her emotions pushing and pulling her around. 

Sometimes, Grace would wake up in the middle of the night, shaken from a nightmare and find herself somewhere in the forest. Groggily, she’d stand and look around her before recasting home. She never tried to figure out where she was, but she got the feeling that she was going to the same place every time. 

Now, in the heat of the bathroom, the water leaving red welts on her skin, she held on tight trying to keep herself in place. She didn’t know how long she was there for, but she heard the door creak open and a voice call out to her. Everything stayed blurry for awhile. The water was suddenly off and Grace instantly felt cold. 

A towel was placed around her shoulders and suddenly Bella’s face came into view. 

“Hey, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Bella had seen this look before on her own face and knew that Grace had done the same for her. She gently pulled Grace to her feet and steered her toward the bedroom, tightening the towel around her. Grace sat on the edge of her bed as Bella rummaged through her drawers and pulled out some sweats, socks and an old band t-shirt. She dressed the catatonic Grace carefully and gently combed her hair, threading it into a loose french braid down her back. 

“Come on,” she said as she pulled her back on the bed with her and threw the covers over both of them. 

“Where’s Edward?” Grace asked barely above a whisper as Bella wrapped her pale arms around her. 

“Hunting. They’re prepping for the fight.” Bella said non-descriptively. Bella didn’t need to ask what had happened that day. 

The day after Grace had come home from the beach and gone straight to bed and laid there for over 20 hours, was the first time Paul had shown up. His eyes were hard but pleading when Bella answered the door. 

“Is she here?” He said, a rasp to his voice as if he had been yelling. 

“Now’s not a good time, Paul.” Bella said, crossing her arms. “She won’t speak. So since you’re here, why don’t you tell me what happened.” 

Paul looked down at the ground and shook his head. 

“Please. I just need to see her,” he had pleaded. When he looked back up at Bella, she saw intense pain in his eyes. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just-” 

“What happened?!” Bella pushed. 

“I….I imprinted. On Rachel Black….at the beach,” Paul said the words like he had said them a million times. 

“What…” Bella knew what it meant to imprint. Jake had told her what it meant and she had hesitated to ask him if he had imprinted on anyone considering the intensity of their relationship. But he had given her a confusing answer and brushed it off. 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, Bella. Please. Just...if I could just see her,” Paul stammered, his body trembling. 

Charlie was behind Bella now in the doorway. 

“Paul.” 

“Chief Swan.” He replied trying to regain some composure. 

“Grace isn’t feeling too hot right now and isn’t allowed guests. She’ll call you when she’s ready.” Charlie nodded. “I suggest you head home.” 

“Thanks dad,” Bella muttered as Charlie retreated back into the house. Paul stood there, limp. 

“Just...tell her I stopped by.” Paul said, taking a step back down the stairs. Bella just nodded and shut the door. 

And again today. As Bella hopped down from the truck and pulled her hood up against the rain, she glanced down at her phone to see if Jake had texted her back. Her last text message was sent the day before as her worry for Grace grew: 

SMS Text—7:47 p.m.: Bella 

Please call me, Jake. 

Please. 

She hadn’t gone into details about Grace, but she knew that Jake should be here. Grace was having nightmares, much like the ones Bella used to have when Edward was gone last year. She was woken up on more than one night this week to cries of pain. But each time she jumped across her bed to get to Grace, she was gone. On one night, she even called out for Jake. 

When she closed her phone and looked up, Paul was there again. Bella shoved her hands in her pocket and walked around the truck making her way toward the house. 

“No, Paul.” Bella said, much less sympathy now. 

“I just want to talk to her.” Paul said. He seemed less beat up today than he had on the first time he’d known up. Bella had raised an eyebrow at him, skeptical. 

“Absolutely not. You broke her fucking heart,” Bella said, surprised at her own anger. Paul tensed at this. 

“I know. I just need to see her.” 

“No, not today.” Bella said, swerving around him to get into the house. 

“Before the fight then,” Paul bargained. 

“No. When she’s ready, not when it’s convenient for you,” Bella said, not bothering to turn around. She slammed the door behind her before hearing an explosion and tearing out on the front lawn that could only mean one thing. 

Now, as Bella listened to Grace’s rhythmic breathing as the light faded away outside, she worried about what happened next. If Grace tried to join the fight like this, she worried she’d get hurt. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone again. 

Still nothing. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

SMS Text—8:32 p.m.: Bella

Jake, you need to come home now. 

It’s Grace. She’s in pretty rough shape. 

Bella clipped her phone shut and wrapped her arms around Grace who had fallen asleep on her shoulder. She sighed and closed her eyes, willing sleep. 

When she woke up the next morning, the space where Grace had been sleeping was empty. 

Grace had been walking and walking since before dawn. Making her way to the reservation. Her body felt weak despite all of the sleep, but she held new resolve. She couldn’t sit in this pain anymore and just let it be hers. 

She was going to confront Paul. Instead of recasting to the rez, she took the time to walk through the forest. She made her way easily in the dark, not needing to see to know where she was going. When she finally reached his door some of her resolve started to crumble. 

What if Rachel was in there? What if she saw something she didn’t want to see? He wouldn’t have moved on so quickly would he? But she knew imprinting worked different. She took a step back and then felt the pain crash around her again. She would not be alone in this. 

Quickly she stepped forward and rapped on the door, nearly banging on it. It only took a couple of seconds for Paul to reach the door and yank it open. His face was full of annoyance that subsided to shock that melted into desperation. 

“Grace,” he choked out. Grace kept her hands at her side, eyes rimmed red and hands clenched into fists. 

“Can I come in?” her voice shook more than she wanted it to. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he stepped back so she could come in. She moved past him doing her best not to let any part of her touch him. The minute she got inside, her eyes automatically lingered down the hallway to the cracked bedroom door. She swallowed hard and turned to face him. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. 

“Grace, I’ve wanted to talk to you for a week.” Paul said keeping his distance more for Grace’s sake than his. “I’ve stopped by. Did Bella tell you?” 

Grace nodded her head. She suddenly felt like a caged animal. What about this was supposed to make her feel better again? She couldn’t even look at him for too long or she’d feel her stomach turn. 

“Grace I’m so-”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Grace said, her eyes hard now. “Don’t.” 

“Okay,” he watched her carefully. She felt frantic, uneasy, where this place was once going to be her home she now felt like an unwanted guest. She kept checking over her shoulder, waiting for someone to stumble out of the bedroom. A room that Paul had filled with light for her. And now, she’d never see it again. She wanted to walk the short steps to it and push open the door to mourn her loss in peace. But she was too afraid about who was behind the door. 

“Is she here?” Grace said suddenly. 

“What?” Paul said confused for a second, and then realization dawned on him, “No, Grace of course not, no.” He almost looked offended.

Grace looked at the floor embarrassed now. Paul took two steps toward her and she stumbled back. 

“No.” she said, tears coming immediately. “Please...don’t. It’s too much.” Paul crumbled now. She’d never seen him cry, but something in him broke in this moment. 

“Grace. Please, let me explain,” he said. Grace dug her fingernails into her palms and nodded. 

“Okay. Explain.” She could take it. She could do this. 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, you have to know that. When Rachel showed up, I was just as panicked as you. I’ve barely talked to her since. I just needed to figure this out and I couldn’t….I didn’t want to let you go,” he shuddered, as tears glistened and fell from his eyes. Grace nodded to have him keep going. “I couldn’t eat or sleep. I had to see you and Bella wouldn’t let me see you. I felt so...lost without you Grace.” 

Grace was shaking now, trying to keep herself in place. Not now, not yet. She had to hear it. 

“I went to see Ti’Hal. I couldn’t take the pain...the weight of this. She said imprinting wasn’t a choice but that I still had one. I could still choose you.” Grace let a whimper escape and shut her eyes tight for a minute before opening them to look at Paul. “But….but she said that even if I chose you, Grace, you would never be as happy with me as we were before. And I wouldn’t expect you to be because I’d always be looking after Rachel. It would eventually destroy us.” 

Grace held herself in place even though she felt it starting. 

 “Ti’Hal said it would be better if I-,” he choked, burying his face in his hands and letting out muffled sobs. Grace was shaking so hard she wondered if he could hear her teeth chatter. “She said, I should….” he stopped and stuttered again trying to look at her. 

“She told you to let me go,” Grace said, her voice warbling and her knees shaking. Paul looked at her sucking in a deep breath and wiping at his face. He nodded. 

“Yes.” Was all he could manage as he looked at her. She wasn’t sure why but something in her accepted this even though her heart was fighting like hell against it. She strode over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. He immediately grabbed her and held her to him tightly. 

She let her body collapse onto him. She tried to let her pain go but instead it swelled up inside her as she held tight to him. The pain crescendoed and she pulled back cupping his face in her hands. Paul was breathing heavy trying to bring himself under control. His eyes searched hers, hoping for her to say anything that might allow him to move forward, pretend like nothing happened, and carry her back to the bedroom like they had done last week. 

“Let me go.” she whispered painfully. He squeezed her sides and looked down then quickly back up at her face. She planted one more soft kiss on his lips that he desperately tried to deepen, but she was gone in a flicker. 

She recast on the edge of the forest and trudged the short way up the familiar hill to the cliff’s edge. The day around her was shaping up to be beautiful, the last solid day of sun they’d have for awhile. Grace stood on the edge of the cliff, the pain swirling up in her and tearing its way out of her throat. She let out a guttural, primal, painful scream that shook her whole body and got carried away by the wind and then fell to her knees in heaving sobs. 

[since0202]

Chapter 21: Return

When Grace shut the door behind her, Paul was coming around the front of the truck to her when they heard a voice shout out across the clearing to them. They were still a little early, but some members of the pack were there building the bonfire pit and helping some of the community set up tables for the food spread. 

“Hey!” Jared shouted across the field. Paul raised a hand and waved back, stuffing his keys into his pocket before holding his hand out to Grace who gladly took it. 

“This feels so official,” Grace said leaning into him as they walked in step with one another. 

“Oh it is. The binding ceremony is a real ball buster, but worth it if I get to kiss you in public,” he said nonchalantly. Grace looked up at him confused for a minute and then said, 

“You’re so full of shit, Lahote.” He laughed and unfurled his hand from hers to drape it across her shoulder instead and pulled her into him to kiss the top of her head before they reached the group. 

They entered the raucous of hoots and hollers from the pack. Grace gave Emily a quick hug before settling next to her quickly as Paul helped prepare the bonfire with the others. Grace always felt at home here. Speaking of home: 

“Weird question,” Emily had asked after she confirmed with Grace that her and Paul had made it official. She seemed pleased when Grace had said they were so that was a good sign. 

“Shoot,” Grace said. 

“After graduation, are you planning on moving back to the rez?” Emily asked casually. Grace felt like she had been smacked with a 2x4. 

“Umm, I mean. I don’t know my plans just yet, but….maybe?” Grace said suddenly. Where were these words coming from? Grace had planned on taking some classes at the community college in the fall to get her bearings for the next step, but the Spirit Bird thing had kind of thrown things off course for her. Her grades were good enough to get into local schools according to her advisor but she didn’t know if she was ready to leave just yet. 

“Think about it. The tribe has money set aside to help tribe members relocate to the rez and find a home here. I’m sure Paul would love it, and you clearly belong here.” Emily nudged her on that last one. 

“Thanks, yeah. I’ll-I’ll think about it.” Grace said. Suddenly there was a flurry of activity around her as the rest of the tribe drew near for the lighting of the bonfire. Paul had come over and handed her a drink before taking her back to their spot. 

As the council members gave updates about the tribe, Grace settled into Paul’s side, however she couldn’t help her eyes dancing around the group to see if Jake would show. When she and Emily were talking, Quil and Embry were close by discussing Jake’s whereabouts. Apparently he’d been gone for a couple days now. Grace breathed a sigh of relief that he might not yet know that she and Paul were a thing. She wasn’t ashamed, she just wanted to be in this happy bubble a little while longer. 

But her bubble quickly burst when she saw just outside the ring of people, Jacob’s towering frame, arms crossed and looking toward the fire. She made eye contact with him for a half a second trying to keep her thoughts clear before laying her head on Paul’s shoulder to continue listening. 

Once the official business was wrapped up, they broke for food—the most fun part of bonfire night. 

“Want me to grab you something?” Paul said eagerly, a hand lightly placed around her waist. 

“Sure! Whatever you’re getting just grab me some. I’m going to make the rounds,” Grace gestured over her shoulder to a waiting crowd looking in her direction. 

“Go on, Spirit Bird,” he kissed her forehead and let her slip away toward the group. She was greeted cheerfully by the throng of people waiting to receive her. 

Grace noticed more and more that part of her role as Spirit Bird was not just the connecting link between the wolves that made them work better together, or the fact that she could provide protection with her shield and whatever other abilities waited under the surface, but she was also an emotional and spiritual conduit for her tribe. By even just conversing, sharing details with her, sharing emotions, connecting through touch and eye contact, Grace could relieve some of their anxiety, pain, grief, or worry. The best way that she could describe it was that she felt craved by the tribe. 

So she took her time moving from circle to circle, checking in, exchanging hugs and forehead touches, just being with the people who loved her. This also gave Grace immense relief and she felt so needed here that Emily’s suggestion of moving to the rez after graduation didn’t sound so crazy. Paul’s eyes followed her every now and then, keeping track of her in the crowd until she reached the outer edge where Ti’Hal was milling about with some children. 

Grace made her way to her and crouched next to her letting her know she was there by placing a hand on her arm and smiling warmly, not needing to communicate verbally. Ti’Hal returned the smile and then stood. She cupped her hands warmly on Grace’s face and said: 

“Little bird, you seem happy.” 

“I am,” Grace almost choked out. 

“That’s good dear.” Suddenly, Ti’Hal’s eyes were distracted over Grace’s shoulder toward the treeline. Grace turned to see Jake just standing off outside of trees. His eyes pulled at Grace and she felt that familiar tug in her middle that had been absent for awhile since she hadn’t seen him. She looked back to Ti’Hal wanting to stay with her and pretend like she hadn’t seen him. Not yet, not yet. The voice in Grace’s head begged. Ti’Hal gave her a knowing look and once again pulled her face down to hers, pressing their foreheads together. 

“You are both trying so hard to be different people. Why must you draw out fate like this?” 

“What?” Grace said incredulous. Two seconds ago Ti’Hal had acknowledged how happy she was and now she was trying to be someone different? 

“Little bird, youth carries you now, but don’t fight it for too long or you both will suffer.” Ti’Hal let go of her face seriously and moved back across the lawn toward the elders. Grace stood up straight, shocked. 

“What the hell-” 

“Can I talk to you?” Grace nearly shot out of her skin at the request behind her. She whipped around coming face to face with Jake, a pleading but strong look on his face. Her bubble had indeed, spectacularly burst. 

Grace looked around her immediate vicinity for any sign of Paul. She knew two things for sure: 1) If he saw her with Jake, he’d come immediately to her rescue and 2) if he found her with Jake there might be hell to pay. 

Not seeing Paul anywhere nearby and the throng of the tribe separating them from the immediate sight line of the bonfire, she nodded with a terse ‘fine’ and followed him as he led her to the forest. 

They went just inside the treeline, maybe 40 yards in, where they could still hear the bustle of the of bonfire and the see the light of the flames. Jake turned and Grace kept a good bit of distance between them so that nothing could be misconstrued if they were happened upon by a member of the pack. 

“Yes?” Grace said a little irritated. Jake shook his head and scowled at that. 

“Really?” He shot back. Okay, so this was going to be a fight. Grace thought to herself. 

“What, Jake? I haven’t heard from you or seen you in days, what could you possibly want?” Grace was mostly irritated because that tug that she had quieted was roaring back trying to pull them together like a magnet and she felt it’s discomfort by refusing it. 

“Oh please. So I’m gone a few days and you immediately shack up with Paul?” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth and tried quickly to back track when he saw the outraged, open mouthed look on Grace’s face, “I just mean...I just want to know: Are you guys officially dating or what?” 

“Jesus, Jake. This is what you wanted to ask me? Yes, Paul is my boyfriend. And you could have asked me that in front of him instead of playing this secret hideout game. This is crap, I’m going back,” Grace turned to leave but Jake took an immediate step forward and shouted after her. 

“That’s absolute shit, you know. If you listened to what Ti’Hal said-” 

“And what did Ti’Hal say to YOU, EXACTLY?” Grace interjected swinging around and letting anger color her voice clearly. He had no right. 

“Exactly what she told you. If you listened to yourself, you’d know that being with Paul is just going to end up a mess. Grace. At some point...he’s going to im-” 

“And who am I supposed to be with instead?” Grace said, taking quick steps forward and closing the gap between them. She couldn’t stifle her anger any longer. She wanted to kill him, wanted to hurt him, wanted him to feel bad for saying all of these things to her when she was happy. She came right up to him and shouted, “You?! I’m supposed to be with you?” 

Jacob didn’t move, didn’t wince, just stared down at Grace like he wanted to speak. 

“Because last I checked, you were still hung up on Bella. And I have a boyfriend.” Jacob grimaced at the mention of Bella and looked away for a second. Hurting him like this didn’t give Grace the satisfaction she was hoping for and she faltered some, anger dissolving into sadness. 

“I’m happy Jake. Let me be happy. Please, please, please. Please.” Tears stung at her eyes as she begged without looking at him. He reached for her now and whispered, “Grace.” before touching her arms and trying to pull her into a hug. Grace shoved away from him, not letting herself get caught in this again. 

“NO!” she bellowed putting more distance between them again. And it was just at this moment that she heard a booming voice come up behind her. 

“Grace!” the voice shouted. She couldn’t tell if it’s intonation was one of recognition, concern, or anger, but she was going to bet it was probably all three. Paul was in front of her in a second, pushing Jacob in the chest, “Back up!” 

“Screw you, Paul.” Jacob shot back, the anger returning. “We’re just talking.” 

“I’m going to tell you this once and only once: if you touch her again, you’re going to regret it.” Paul returned, seething anger building in his voice. Grace took a step forward to interject. 

“She’s not your property, Paul. She’s here for everyone.” 

“She’s MINE. She’s MY girlfriend. And the sooner you understand that the more likely you are to remain intact, alpha-reject.” Paul shot back. 

“Paul, that’s enough!” Grace said stepping forward and grabbing onto his arm. He yanked it free from her to her surprise and pushed Jake again, who pushed him back. Both of their bodies shook violently. 

Jared and Embry crashed into focus and pushed between them, separating them from one another. 

“Paul, get a grip,” Jared warned, pushing him back toward Grace. Embry was leaning into Jacob talking quietly to him and Jacob seemed to gain his composure. “Take Grace and get out of here.” Jared tried to command. Paul made eye contact with Jared for a second before shaking himself free and quickly turning to roughly grab Grace around the shoulders and steering her back toward the treeline muttering, “We’re leaving.” 

Once out past the treeline and in sight of the car, Grace shook Paul off of her and gave him a scathing look before treading quick ahead to swing around at him, “Paul what the fuck?!” 

“Get in the car.” he said solidly, not stopping. “I’m taking you home.” 

Grace turned to watch him climb into the car and waited for a half second, the look he gave her made her want to dissolve. “Grace!” he yelled impatiently. She gave in and walked to the car yanking the passenger door open and climbing inside, crossing her arms. 

When Paul pulled into his drive, Grace perked up and said half confused, “I thought you were taking me home?” 

Paul didn’t say anything and just got out of his car and walked into his house. Grace sat in the car for a moment, readying herself for a fight before taking a deep breath and pushing her door open. Paul had left the front door open and she walked through closing it behind her, trying to calm her nerves. Paul was at the sink drinking a glass of water. 

Grace waited for him to speak first. 

“Why is it that whenever I don’t know where you are, I find out that you’re somewhere alone with Jacob Black every time?” Paul said, his voice even but hurt and anger still clearly etched in his tone. Grace’s hands shook a little bit from the nerves. 

The ache in Grace was growing after seeing Jake and leaving him so quickly again. She hated this part, so she tried hard to quiet it again, but Paul wasn’t playing ball. 

“Paul, that’s not what that was and you know it. He was asking if we were together and I said yes we very much were and that he was an idiot and could have asked me that in front of you.” 

Paul watched her with a critical eye and dumped the rest of the water down the sink before coming into the living room and leaning against the wall. 

“Part of me laying claim was to assure everyone that you’re mine. But for whatever reason, Jake doesn’t seem to respect those boundaries so I need your help there.” Paul was calmer now but not coming near her. 

“I did tell him we were together.” 

“That’s not enough.” Paul said quickly. Grace closed her mouth quickly not sure what to say next. What else was she supposed to do? Her arms hung limply at their sides. As if on cue, Paul said: “You can’t be alone with him.” Pain shot through Grace on this request. 

“How am I supposed to-?” Grace started and Paul let out an annoyed hiss before turning down the hallway toward his bedroom, “Paul! I’m talking to you!” 

He swung around, the anger back, “I asked you something very simple. For us to work, I need you to make the boundary clear because CLEARLY the line gets blurred when you two are alone together. I’m not blaming you. I’m asking you to choose me. Like I chose you, Grace. Fuck!” he yelled turning back down the hallway. He disappeared into his bedroom and Grace heard the shower turn on. She put a hand to her head trying to hold back her tears. 

How was she supposed to stay away from Jake when everything in her pulled her toward him? But something Paul had said was right: the lines got blurred and that wasn’t fair to him. If she wanted this work, she had to do this. And she desperately wanted this to work. 

Grace tread softly down the hallway, removing her sweater and jeans as she went. She was completely naked by the time she reached his bathroom door and hesitated, her hand hovering over the door knob. She’d promise him, she told herself. 

She gently opened the door and climbed in the shower behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso, before saying: “Okay. I promise.” 

Paul turned around and cupped his hand under her chin so she’d make eye contact with him. 

“For real, Grace. I need a solid promise.”

“Paul. I promise. I won’t be alone with him ever.” she said clearly, water streaming in rivulets down her face. He nodded satisfied with her answer before leaning down to lock her in with a kiss. Their shower quickly devolved into Paul carefully carrying Grace to bed, both of them slick with warm water. 

He buried his head between her legs and worked in there, pulling gasps and moans from Grace as she held tightly at his short hair. As she pulsed toward climax, one face lingered behind her closed lids as she lost herself in pleasure: Jacob’s scowl, Jacob’s pleading face, Jacob’s hands reaching for her arms and leaving scorching heat just from a soft tentative touch. She shivered with release and then Paul was above her, moving into her and washing away the pictures from her head. She bit her lower lip and focused, guilt flooding her instantly. 

[since0202]

Chapter 23: The Beach

The whole ride to the rez Grace was lost in thought. Her hands were clutching the wheel distractedly as she careened down the damp street in the mid-morning light. She bit her lip and replayed the words in her head: 

“This is ridiculous, I don’t understand why you keep doing this.” the disembodied voice in her head said.

“Don’t tell me to go. Please.” it continued. 

Grace pulled up to Emily and Sam’s house, trying to clear her head of last night’s events. It was key that she keep her face even and calm. Not only did she have to convince Sam to join her and Jacob at the clearing with the Cullen’s to train, but she also needed to keep her thoughts clear to avoid any suspicion. 

She took a deep breath and crossed the threshold. 

“Grace, good morning!” Emily called from behind the counter. Paul looked up from his place leaning against the cabinets watching Emily cook as Jared talked in a low voice to him. Grace gave him a soft smile. He returned it but didn’t move toward her. 

Sam suddenly came in behind her. “What’s this all about then?” 

Jacob was at the kitchen table plowing through the first batch of cinnamon rolls with Quil, Seth, and Embry. Grace stuffed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and made her way over to Paul. 

“Hey,” she said quietly as she walked up to him. He leaned down and kissed her gently, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“Hey. How did you sleep?” He said nonchalantly. Grace let out a sigh of relief. 

“Yeah, good. I missed you last night,” she pressed, bringing her hands to his sides. He gave her a small smile and kissed her forehead roughly. 

“I missed you too.” He looked over to Sam and gave him a nod. Grace kept her eyes trained up at him, a little taken aback. Something felt off. 

Jake launched into the story of the vampire army, that they were coming to Forks and that we needed to temporarily lift treaty lines to be able to train with the Cullens and defeat them. Grace watched for Paul’s reaction, knowing how quick to anger he was, she thought she’d feel him tense up, or unconsciously grip her tighter. But he stayed at ease listening as Jake laid out the plan. 

Sam looked to Grace at the end of his speech and said, “What do you think?” 

Grace took a deep breath and shifted a little bit under the weight of Paul’s arm. 

“I think it’s the right thing to do. The Cullen’s pose no threat and working with them increases our chances of wiping out the real threat before anyone can get hurt.” Grace said confidently, keeping her eyes locked on Sam’s so as not to let her gaze drift to Jake’s. “We are by no means required to train. We can just show up and watch. It would also give the pack a chance to see the Cullen’s specialties in action.” 

Sam was nodded appreciatively. “Alright. Set it up.” Grace nodded and turned to Paul. 

“Do you want me to come over tonight?” Grace probed, running a hand across his lower torso. Paul looked down at her for a minute and then said, 

“Uhh, not tonight.” Okay he was definitely being weird. 

“Oh...why not?” Grace couldn’t help herself from asking. He brought a hand to cup her face and pull it up to look at him. 

“Don’t be so nosy, you’ll find out. I’ll text you later,” he leaned down and dropped a peck on her lips and when Grace tried to hold him there a little longer, he pulled away and let go of her, patting Jared on the shoulder as they headed toward the door. 

“Wha-” Grace said, turning and watching them head out the door. “What was that about?” Grace asked Emily who just shook her head smiling. 

“Who knows.” Grace let out a groan. Maybe he had found out about the graduation party last night. The voice rose back up in her head “Don’t tell me to go.” Her eyes rested on Jake for just a minute. He always knew when she was watching him and immediately caught her gaze. Her mind shifted to last night again without her wanting it to. 

They were in her backyard after the party. Jake had insisted on giving Grace a ride home instead of carpooling back with Edward and Bella. She had protested at first again reiterating their need for distance, but she caved, as she usually did when Jake was near her. 

They had walked around the house, Grace not wanting to go inside just yet and settled on the rusted porch swing that faced the forest. He sat next to her, almost too close, their thighs touched. 

“I don’t like this,” he said softly. Grace didn’t want to speak, she didn’t want to say anything that would push him further away. She didn’t want to fight most of all. “Grace, you can’t tell me you don’t feel this immense….relief when we’re near each other.” 

She looked down at her hands and he continued. 

“It’s like I can take a deep breath when you’re near. And every time…..every time I’m around you it’s like I have to be close to you or I’m going to explode.” he paused to look over at her. “Ti’Hal said it’s not an imprint but, I don’t know. I feel….” he paused. “You must think I’m nuts.” 

“No.” Grace said in a small voice. 

“You can’t tell me that you feel that way around Paul.” 

“Jake, I love him.” she said softly. And it was true. 

“This is ridiculous. I don’t understand why you keep doing this.” Jake paused. “Just tell me you feel it too.” 

“I think you should go,” Grace said softly, not making eye contact. 

“Don’t tell me to go. Please.” he said, “I’ve been trying so hard to give you space, to keep my distance because you said you were happy and Grace...Grace I just want you to be happy. So much. Just tell me, I’m not crazy.” 

She turned her head to look at him and let her hand rise to rest on his cheek. Immediately her anxiety ebbed but she pushed through. “Please go.” She whispered, pain etched in her voice. Jacob grabbed her wrist and searched her eyes. “Please.” She begged now. 

In Grace’s head, she was screaming at him to stay, to reach forward and pull her to him because all she craved was that relief he gave her. That connection that made her feel completely whole and rid her of that ache that Paul could never seem to satiate, only temporarily quiet. She knew Jake could sense it, hear it even if he was listening for it. 

But after a few minutes of Grace holding her resolve and not letting her inner workings spill everywhere out onto the lawn, he stood quietly, firmly, and walked back around the house. Grace didn’t move for a long time after that, but eventually made it up to her room and didn’t bother getting undressed before collapsing into bed. 

“You can’t tell me that in a fight Godzilla wouldn’t absolutely rock your shit,” Embry countered, snapping Grace from her reverie. Jake had held her there in that moment. 

“Seth, you’re with me,” Grace said, breaking her gaze from Jake and looking at Seth. He immediately perked up. Sam had asked Grace now that finals were over to start individually training with each member of the pack to help hone their skills and improve how they worked off of each other during rounds or in fight. “You and me dude,” she said as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pulled him toward the door. 

Grace had coordinated with Carlisle to set up the training in a clearing between the two territories two days from when she had spoken to Sam. She hadn’t heard from Paul for the rest of the day even though he told her he’d text her. She was starting to get nervous. 

The next day, the day before the training, she waited, pacing her room and groaning with irritation. Still nothing. She sent him a text in the morning. 

SMS Text—9:33 a.m.: Grace 

Hey, you didn’t call or text last night. Just checking in. 

I’d like to see you today. 

And then again in the afternoon. 

SMS Text—1:45 p.m.: Grace 

Are you okay? 

If you’re mad at me just tell me. 

And then finally. 

SMS Text—4:07 p.m.: Grace 

This is stupid, Paul. I’m coming over. 

She snapped her phone shut, pulled on some shorts and a hoodie and made her way to the truck. He couldn’t stop her. But if he wasn’t there, she’d have to find him another way. This radio silence didn’t work for her when it came to Paul. If he was mad about Jake, she’d just deal with it now. 

When she pulled up to his drive, she could clearly see a light on in his home. She jumped up the steps and went to knock on the door, but in her impatience thought better of it and pushed her way inside. 

Her mouth dropped. She hadn’t noticed from outside, but the house was somehow….bigger. Not monumentally bigger, but the living room was actually spacious and the kitchen didn’t hide behind a little half wall. Things were still in disarray, but they still looked beautiful. The right wall of the house had been moved back closer toward the forest. The kitchen was open to the living room and an unfinished island sat where the half wall used to be. She gently strode past the living room and down the narrow hallway to the bedroom. 

When she crossed the threshold to the bedroom, she audibly gasped. An extension had somehow been built in the short time she hadn’t been here off of the bedroom. The extension was sunken and composed of a collage of windows making a makeshift sun room that the bed now faced. Light poured in through the windows and she took the two small steps down into the extension and spun around in the open space. 

“You just couldn’t wait, could you?” Paul said. She stumbled to a stop and looked up at him. He was standing with his arms crossed and a tool belt on, leaning against the bedroom doorframe. 

“What is all this?” Grace said a smile erupting from her face. He beamed back. 

“It’s for you.” He said simply pushing up from the doorframe and walking down the short steps to meet her. 

“Me?” Grace said. “Paul this is incredible, how did you do this so fast?” 

“I’m handy like that. And had some help from the rez obviously.” He shrugged his shoulders and moved his arms around her waist. 

“Paul, you do not just decide to do massive home renovations on a whim and ignore me for two days. What’s up?” Grace countered. 

“First of all, I was not ignoring you. I was busy doing something,” he gestured to around the room but still gave her a joking smile. “And second of all, like I said. It’s for you.” He said this in a small voice, like he wasn’t sure at first. 

“You keep saying that. What are you talking about? Why would I need all of this? It’s beautiful, yes. Do I love it? Yes. But, Paul this is your home.” Grace said softly, putting her hand to his face. 

“I hope not.” He said cryptically. She raised an eyebrow and he took a deep breath like he was building the courage to say something immense. “Grace Alo. Will you move in with me?” 

Grace looked at him for a long moment, thoughts rushing all around her head. Her hand never left his cheek as he watched her face for clues. 

“Grace?” He said, nervous now and pulling her into him closer. 

“Yes.” she said simply, finally. 

“Yes?” he confirmed, his voice rising with joy. She nodded enthusiastically and he started laughing pulling her up off her feet and spinning her around in the light filled room. 

Grace padded down the hallway to the renovated kitchen to grab some coffee the next morning. She paused pouring a cup and looking around her, imagining herself here all the time and her heart swelled. 

This can work. 

She took a satisfied breath before returning to the bedroom, the early morning light beginning to pour softly through the window with the trees shimmering above. Paul had pulled the mattress off the bed and set it in the center of the sun room so they could sleep there. Grace looked up through the window panes now her mind flashing to last night as she had moved on top of him throwing her head back and letting the milky moonlight spill across her naked body. 

She sipped her coffee quietly as Paul slept next to her and she felt a wave of happiness pour over her. Her breath caught in her throat for a second as she felt a familiar rush move through her, a thunderous sound rising from behind her and slowly creeping up over her head. Her eyes blurred for a second and shook it away. 

“You okay?” Paul said groggily, peeking an open eye at her through the covers. 

“Yeah,” Grace said kind of breathless. She felt like she had gotten the wind knocked out of her for some reason. “Yeah, fine.” 

“It’s bright,” he moaned, trying to pull the covers over his head. 

“Yeah, it is, but look at everything you can see!” She set her coffee down and stood up, throwing the loose t-shirt off and standing naked on the bed before him. 

“It is a nice view,” he laughed, before grabbing her around the knees and pulling her down to him. She shrieked and he quickly pulled her underneath him, pushing her legs apart with his. He stopped and kissed her nose softly before pushing into her and devolving their morning into a collection of moans and shudders as the sun spotlit them. 

-------------

Grace walked into the clearing with her hands in the pockets of her zip up grey hoodie. She had opted to wear her old blue running shorts and had tied her hair up in a high ponytail. She fully intended on training with the Cullen’s despite both Paul and Sam’s protesting. 

She spotted Bella and Edward and knocked her shoulder against Bella’s. 

“Hey!” 

“Hey. Are they coming?” Bella said looking at the empty clearing. Grace nodded to the treeline where the vegetation was particularly thick and shaded. 

“Yeah, they’re right behind me.” 

“Oh.” Bella said. 

Carlisle and the rest of the Cullen’s gathered in the clearing facing the treeline and Grace stood close to Bella on the Cullen’s side. 

Slowly, Sam emerged from the trees with the others flanking him. Some, like Seth, were told to stay back further out of sight. 

“They don’t trust us enough to be out of their wolf form,” Edward said casually to Carlisle. 

“They came. That’s all that matters,” Carlisle said gratefully. “Thank you for coming.” he addressed the pack now. “My son Jasper has unique insight into the threat we’re facing. We hope that working together, we can defeat this threat without any casualties on either of our sides. It’s our best shot,” he nodded and conceded the floor to Jasper. 

Jasper came up from behind Grace to stand where Carlisle stood. Grace heard a distinct snap of the jowls come from the pack and Sam called to her to join them instead. Seems Jasper hadn’t gotten too close for comfort. Grace rolled her eyes and jogged up to the treeline and Jasper started providing the pack with a history of newborns, their strengths, their weaknesses, and how they planned to fight them. Grace stood next to Paul who nudged her back farther behind him. 

Over his shoulder, she made eye contact with Jake’s wolf form. He shook his head as if being snapped back to attention and Paul made a low growling noise. 

“Let me demonstrate. Emmett!” Jasper called across the clearing. Sam perked up, intrigued to finally see fighting styles in action and he communicated to the rest of the pack to pay close attention. 

Through volleys and crashing at one another like boulders, they were able to understand Emmett’s fighting style—he was brute strength and force. Jasper was lythe and meticulous, but ruthless. 

Jasper worked his way through each of the Cullen’s one by one, demonstrating how to overpower and displace certain moves or tactics. When they were finished, Jasper looked up at Sam and said, 

“So, who would like to go first?” His hands were behind his back and he gave a mischievous grin. 

Grace automatically raised her hand and took a step forward. She was met with a crescendo of growls and snapping down the line of wolves. Paul turned to glare at her and nudged her back again. 

“Oooookay,” Grace said, putting her hand down and looping it behind her back, “Not me, apparently.” The Cullens laughed. Paul and Jared made their way forward, Seth coming to stand by Grace instead. 

While there were a couple of close calls during the training, each wolf got a turn to fight one of the Cullen’s and work on their response to unpredictable attacks. Grace was not allowed a turn. 

When they turned to leave for the day, she noticed Jake take off in a different direction from the others. She made a move toward him but quickly stepped back in case Paul noticed and made a mental note to ask Quil instead. 

Paul dropped her off and gave her a kiss before she went inside, “A couple more training sessions like that and we’ll be their worst nightmare.” 

“Mmmm, I bet,” Grace rolled her eyes and stood on her tiptoes to hug him. 

-----

The pack ended up training all week with the Cullen’s in preparation for the fight. Alice saw the newborns coming sometime in late May, early June, so they had some time to prepare. At the end of the week, they put together a beach day at La Push to take a break from rounds and training. 

Grace was relieved. She had barely seen Paul all week. Between training and finishing the renovations on his house for her, he was busy and sometimes too tired to see her at night. But they planned to spend the whole day together at the beach. 

She made it to his house mid-morning with her beach bag and supplies in hand. She dropped them on the porch and skipped into the house. Paul was making pancakes by the stove and he grinned from ear to ear when he saw her. 

“There you are.” he said. She jumped into his arms and planted a long kiss on him. 

“Whatever they say about absence makes the heart grow fonder is bullshit. Absence makes the heart miserable,” she mumbled in between his lips. He chuckled and set her down, still holding a spatula in his other hand. 

“This should be ready in a second,” He flipped a couple more pancakes onto a plate. When he was finished, he handed her her plate and they opted to stand in the kitchen and eat wanting to be close. 

“Delicious,” Grace said between mouthfuls. 

“Hey so, I was thinking. This weekend, maybe we start bringing some of your stuff over?” Paul said. Grace stopped chewing for a second and hesitated. 

“Uh, yeah sure, that sounds good.” She had forgot to mention to Bella or Charlie that she was moving out. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she thought that Paul might only be half serious. 

“Good.” he set his plate down, “Now. We have about, mmmm, ten extra minutes? I think we can find a way to make good use of that time.” He grabbed her plate from her and swiftly picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder and hauling her off to the bedroom. Grace giggled, she was more than happy to oblige considering that they had barely touched each other in a week and she could feel Paul’s eagerness quickly after he tossed her onto the bed and straddled her.

-----

In true new-love fashion, they were late to the beach get-together. They strode in a half an hour late, all smiles to the applause and jibing of the pack. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Paul said, “Settle down.” 

They spent the day playing tag football on the beach, Paul intercepting Grace instead of the ball and running her up the beach, and in the water pushed up against each other as the waves pushed and pulled at them. 

After settling down to eat lunch and enjoy the sun, the pack digging in eagerly to the collective spread they all brought, Grace laid back on their beach blanket and let the sun warm her. She felt so whole and so complete. Almost as complete as when she danced with Jacob. 

Jacob. 

Quil had told her that he had left to do reconnaissance in Seattle at the request of no one according to Sam. She had been perplexed at that, but then Quil had said in a hushed voice that he’d caught wind of her and Paul planning to move in together and just needed some time away. 

He’d been gone since the very first training and it irritated Grace. That familiar pang pulsed in her stomach again at the thought of him. 

Paul leaned over to kiss her softly and she opened her eyes and smiled. 

“Good day so far?” he asked, running a hand down her side. 

“The best,” she said softly. 

“Me too...I love you,” he said softer leaning down so only they could hear one another. 

“I love you too, Lahote,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to her. Something about it felt different this time. Like something in her was shifting. She could be happy with Paul, Jacob was wrong. It wouldn’t end in a mess if they just kept going together. 

Grace sat up and looked out over the waves as the general chatter of the group carried on. And then, she heard a distant ‘Hey!’ call out from down the beach. 

Quil and Sam turned to see who it was. 

“Oh my god.” Grace said getting to her feet and starting to run toward the woman padding down the beach. Joy erupted through her chest as she shouted out: 

“Rachel!”