#i know i linked it 3 times but im covering all my bases

[baguantte]

In black ink

YOU.

yes you! are you looking for a iwaoi fic filled will pirates, slow burn and endless seijoh shenanigans as found family?? AND IS ALSO FINISHED????? LOOK NO FURTHER than In Black Ink. Personally my favorite iwaoi fanfic of all time for making me feel every single emotion i've ever had! So if you think you'd enjoy a fic where Iwaizumi is whisked away on the adventure of a life time then this is the fic for you!!!

Made by @matsuwuhana whos got lots of other fics if that doesnt suit your fancy. They're really cool.

Oh also I made the graphic for the last chapter as well as made a copious amounts of fanart of this fic. so check it out.

[souryogurt64]

srry if the answer to this is just like "the fobbi hates women and anything remotely negative abt pete" but why do u think they took down the secondhand copies of Gray and the cover on amazon and sources u used after your essay? ur essay was so flattering to gray? its just so weird sorry im not good at critical thinking ngl

I DONT KNOW that’s why it’s so weird!!! It was such a weird and extreme and offputting thing to do. I cant even think of any specific thing I said that could trigger that reaction because it is SO bizarre. If I had to guess it would be because the subject matter is so terrible, even in ways I dont address in my essay, and I make a very compelling case it is fact based. Or just the emotional reaction to it was very visceral.

Also, its not just that the cover art and secondhand copies randomly disappeared right after my essay so I assume it must be because of me. There is other strong circumstantial evidence to indicate the stuff with the book occurred that I would prefer not to talk about.

Given the extremity of this incident, and how outrageous it is to remove the cover art and secondhand copies, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to suggest that other sources linked in my essays that got taken down around the same time were related to this. It’s not just that the occasional article or YouTube video disappears. It was a ton of stuff along with other bizarre and inexplicable coincidences in a short window of time.

Like yeah, some videos got taken down like the only interview where he talks about his book. But it was stuff way more involved than that too. Like someone filled out a 2 page form on the Vimeo website with a name address and phone number claiming they were the direct copyright holder to get a fancam of Goodnight Moon I made in 11th grade taken down after I linked to my Vimeo account in the bibliography of a video essay.

Someone in Chicago who did not frequently visit my blog with that device spent 3 days going through 1,270+ pages of my blog searching dozens of term combinations looking to see if I’ve ever posted about Pete’s mother. In addition to the suspect location, this is a massive anomaly both in terms of activity on my blog, as well as stuff the fandom cares about.

Brendon Urie’s dumb lawsuit was taken out of the LA court portal after I referenced it in my Brent Wilson essay. An article about Kenny Harris’ sexual misconduct allegations was removed after that essay too. Several different copies of screenshots of Tweets from Ian and Breezy complaining about Brendon were taken down after the publication of that essay. After Pete’s friend posted another essay I wrote on his Instagram story, scans I linked in it disappeared and the band started selling an edited copy with that quote removed a few months later. Etc. The MTV website was extremely broken so it’s possible these were coincidental, but a number of suspicious articles and videos were regularly disappearing too.

ALSO. I wrote a 50 page essay about SWMRS/Burger that was extremely negative towards many bands and reached way higher visibility, and absolutely nothing happened with that and no sources were taken down. Same with a 20 page MCR lyrical analysis essay. If these things happened randomly all the time, it would’ve happened with the sources linked in those essays too.

All of these things, in combination with the strong circumstantial evidence surrounding his book getting half-pulled off the market after of my essay, were not all a string of random unrelated coincidences and I secretly have undiagnosed schizophrenia or whatever.

When you consider the *objective facts* of this situation, such as Pete’s friend posting about my essay on social media around the time this stuff occurred, it is way more likely the essays made it onto his radar and like The FOB Surveillance State (jk) did not approve or whatever. Some of these things may be coincidences, but taking all of the evidence into account, it becomes unlikely that this is all random and I’m crazy.

Also, it’s not like him finding these just randomly happened. I made it happen. It’s really embarrassing to say this, it feels very childish now, and IDK what the point of this was, but starting when I was a literal teenager I put a lot of work and made a lot of purposeful decisions over a period of years to get the bandom essays noticed. This included interviewing several artists he and his friends signed or followed on social media, putting several people who are not famous in the essays, fostering cats for his friend and applying to work there, et cetera. All of this was genuine, but it was also intentional.

Other people (such as UNEMPLOYED Brand New fans) have been able to do the same thing and leverage amateur projects like this to interview the band or write a book or whatever.

And like whatever, if I’m a shitty talentless writer and am just not picked that’s fine. But also like, I don’t want to continue liking these bands when I have plenty of reason to believe their management or whatever are going through my essays to take down sources and also try to “takesies backsies” Pete’s stupid book about calling his ex a bitch and degrading all the women he’s slept with because of my very positive and respectful fanwork about it.

Especially when they’re also handing out book deals and interviews like candy to untalented unemployed dudes with insane passion projects that “just so happen” to talk about how Brand New are victims of cancel culture and Hayley Williams is a misandrist bitch and Pete Wentz threw the first brick at feminist Stonewall. Like it’s just not something that makes me happy anymore and I’m embarrassed and disgusted I ever thought it was cool.

TRIPLE ESPECIALLY when they are also aggressively pushing gross creepy daddy kink music and claiming it’s because they support women’s free speech. And going through Twitter indirects to call anyone who has a problem with it sexist because you should “let women say what they want.” But not me clearly!!! Not female fans who engage intelligently with the culture and history. Thats for the grown-up anti-cancel-culture dudes only. The only free speech for female fans is “daddy spit on my pussy!!”

Also everyone wants to like Destroy Me With Facts And Logic or whatever and tell me it’s okay and not wrong and I’m being irrational and crazy and argue if it is Morally Acceptable for an artist to do this. but like. If you were in my position. Even everything else aside, just the position of putting so much effort and care into a very positive and respectful fanwork and then you have reason to believe the creator somehow found your essay and attempted to remove the book from circulation afterwards. Like would you want to keep being a fan? Do you think they want you to be a fan? NO!!

Then if you tried to be like “Hey it really bothered me on a personal level I think this happened” and their insane fans started camping out in your inbox calling you “schizophrenic” “a bitch” “racist” “delusional” etc over it for months. Would you keep enjoying the band. NO!! Probably not. Especially when the band’s entourage encourages this type of behavior by putting individual fans who talk about misogyny on blast so they will get cyberbullied.

Like this entire thing started because I made a joke text post about “Dictator Wentz” 3 months ago and a specific clique of deranged FOB fans (coincidentally, right around when the bands entourage started encouraging fans to cyberbully people who discuss their history of misogyny) started camping out on my blog to complain and call me a pathetic schizo bitch every time I posted about ANYTHING. Like it’s really really embarrassing to live life knowing that PW reacted so badly to my essay specifically.

I didnt talk about how I felt or what I suspected happened for a long time because I was scared of someone specific seeing it or other fans getting mad and calling me crazy (WHICH HAPPENED). But like I dont like pretending either and these feelings didnt go away and eventually when the band stopped being as active I felt ready to post about it.

And I cant even joke harmlessly about it without gaggles of his weird fans being like “Ummmm you’re a bitch and targeting the only POC in music…. unless you have schizophrenia that seems sus!!!” like WHAT???? does that have to do with anything I said. And also literally WHOOOO CARES. Anyway I am trying to move on with my life now

[dykevotions]

what's the buntom lore I've seen u post abt it a lot and I'm curious

HI. HELLO. WHATS UP . i be keeping this shit Short and Compact. Trust me

here are summaries of friday league and saturday league of beastlife. aswell as my beastlife guide post . neither of the summaries include the most recent season which. is the one buntoms in. but yknow. you win some you lose some.

SO. BUNTOM. WHATS HER FUCKIN DEAL !??!?!

feat. mild spoilers* for beasts, and . decently wordy! *some of you know already, but im trying to film a cool video about it and edit it tonight alright... .

SO. buntom is a animal crossing inspired cartoon character, who is an mctom (my cubito ocs) who only speaks in animalese and tomlang! now you might be asking. what the fuck is tomlang. as you should be. Ask all the questions ever.

Tomlang is a conlang I(1) made, based entirely off of symbols on a standard english keyboard. pretty + right?

link to the tomlang guide. not required reading, but its pretty short, and < think its pretty cool.

now if you read it (which. again. not required!) you'll have seen.... this

now this is not Andromeda(2) but is LUNATIC !! I LOVE LUNATIC TSHIRT THAT SAYS I LOVE LUNATIC (this is about buntom i swear. this will make sense)

lunatic (atleast this specific one!(3)) preforms hexes to be less than a pixel tall and understand buntoms thoughts. lunatic is the only person that has ever understood buntom, and nobody knows he exists.

insert comics . Yeah

so buntom exists with lunatic for a bit of time. not a while, but they just chill in the forest.

then buntom gets pulled into a death game (with a skyblock gimmick this season! how fun!) , with lunatic alongside her. this is where 🎈s #story really starts

to summarise everything to happen to buntom throughout the season (saturday leauge s4, plus a guest visit to friday leauge s3) : she is dehumanised , treated as an animal or uncontrollable/feral by multiple other teams, downright called his teams PET by someone (hi sonicmike. hows your day . ) and destroys shit and kills people over it. as you do. and also helps build a giant network of paths in the sky (skynet) which are burnt down (he rebuilds them) (wtf sonicmike)

he gets mixed up with sheeptom (the other mctom in beastlife) after they go to a wedding on applecraft (another server. hard to explain) and deals with new people who are.... nice to xem for the most part? And treat er like a person? he has to bury one of them. besides that, it was good for him. she likes the people in friday league.

and then ves back. and he wakes up at her teammates grave. with more time(4) and signs from sheeptom telling her that it was sorry that they had to do it. and that their teammates love them. there's a funeral for someone else. hardly anyone honors space for dying too. he resents them for this.

the only teammate he has around at this time, is echidna. and echidna is walking away from where they live, so fuck it. and he follows. and theyre in the middle of nowhere together, far above the others. and hes safe for a while there. they both have a few hours till they die, but its peaceful.

they shouldve broken the path to where they were. practically the entire server comes to find them and hunt them down. they spawn kill them. they barely escape. they go back to their old base. they get found. echidna runs out of time. buntom dies, but still has time. he hides. she goes to the nether. tom covers the portal in lava. xey trap themself in the nether for the last hour(ish) heart has to live.

he resents herself for this. xey cut their dyed parts of hair off (they liked their dyed hair. it was her favorite part of how he looked, but it made him not fit in. if only he was like the others, then maybe they wouldnt have hated him. maybe then echidna mightve been alive.) and play tic tac toe with lunatic. over and over. and over and over.

and its the last session

and you have 24 minutes left to live

and you play tic tac toe

over and over

and over and over

and you admit that you're scared to die (this isnt the first time you've told lunatic this. you did it when you first hid.)

and you make your own grave (and lunatic, you are buried together.)

and you make echidna a grave

and you play tic tac toe (your move!)

and you have 10 seconds

and you look at how you hid from the world

and you die

and you're coming back next season! but in the meantime, shes in hell :D ! all mctoms get their own personalized hell, and buntoms is made for two! buntom has lunatic ignoring and not listening to xer, and not moving, and is so scared that his best friend is like the others. that she really is what everyone else thinks of him. that this is how it was always going to end. and lunatic just has to stand there! and cant talk, or move, or communicate at all. horrible world for autistic people

thats . basically it. Yeah . i think that covers most of my bases . buntoms also canonically aroace and autistic. so . Win!

footnotes :

1: okay my brother helped a bunch and so its like. partially him aswell

2: echidnas friday leauge character! her name does that when he tries to say it.

3: see. worldhoppers vs worldbounds. except lunatic is a seperate third thing. theres multiple lunatics out there thats all u need to knoww

4: limited life gimmick. u know the deal

[prestonmonterey]

intro

!! plz dont send me chain asks !!

(pronouns page is linked on there but also here if you dont wanna look for it:)

ok so uhh basically the gist of it

hi

im preston

uhh for names call me preston or pres or squid or orion or jaxon or actually just whatever you want i dont mind (more on my prounouns page) (if we're friends/moots feel free to gimme a nickname if ya want)

pronouns are it/he/they (the order of preference changes from time to time also neos are alright just anything other than she/her)

fandoms im most active in: varian and the seven kingdoms/tangled the series, camp here and there (will wood too!!), adamandi, the art of pleasing princes, starkid, spies are forever and percy jackson (mostly the musical bc im in a production of it :)

you can always interact with me! apparently im intimidating but i swear im really nice (i think) and id be really happy if you sent an ask at any time :3 i promise i wont get annoyed even if you think youre being annoying i just really like interacting with cool people :3

you can tag me in anything and everything! i promise ill look at it :3 and i try my best to do tag games and stuff (lmk if you dont want me to tag ya) but if i dont uhh, just assume i was like, really tired that day, or ive been tagged by another moot in that game before and im too lazy to dig it up :P sry

uhh im a minor too so like nsfw/18+ blogs dni

i try my best to use tone tags but if i forget and you need them please let me know!! (i also find tone tags helpful for myself) :3

theres more info on my card about like other stuff too

tag key:

#marble musings = original posts

#marble monologues = long posts/reblogs usually about chnt or just like existentialism idk

#marble draws = art/fanart/crafts/cosplay type thing

#marble games = i make games on google forms! hoping to learn to code or get an actual game engine to make full games past like choose your own adventures

#marble music = song covers :3 (yes i have all the filtered instrumentals i used for adamandi, lmk if you want them i can send em over discord or something)

#marble asks = answering stuff in my ask box

i think thats all of them :3 might add more eventually, and sometimes i forget to tag properly so sorry about that :(

i have some sideblogs if you wanna check em out (not super active on them but ill still try to respond if you shoot me an ask)

hatchetfield rp sideblogs: @thelilcloverpatch @fading-angelic-starlight @marble-man @honey-sparrow @ivy-wreathed-arches

and @hatchetfield-bone-thief

theyre all dead and uhh tw for spookies and violence and blood and sh and ritualistic sacrifice

i have a couple other blogs but those are secret :D

[stillamassivedeal]

“spoiler alert: heaven is a really nice hotel in miami”

oh, my god, why am i on tumblr?

ooc/headcanons under the cut !!

ooc ♡

heyy !! im the mod for this rp account and will NOT be linking my main !! if you know you know !! i use she/they pronouns :3

this is based off of both versions of mean girls that reneé rapp has been in, and i use pictures of her, and the odd faceless blonde girl and random images from pinterest :)

i try to incorporate lines from the broadway production and musical movie into my posts and interactions !! fun fact: broadway is my favourite variation of mean girls, but i have seen the 2024 movie over 30 times :3

rules/extra info ♡

nsfw is okay but not preferred, im a minor !!

general dni, just don't be an asshole, im here to have fun, not report you for being a cunt ♡

im in gmt timezone and am busy with school and studying and all that fun stuff /s so i might not reply immediately !!

send as many asks/dms as you'd like, no limit :)

free to rp over asks or dms, whatever works !!

⚠️im okay with most triggering stuff, but please be wary that i may ignore your ask if it's a bit much for me in the moment !!!⚠️

tags ♡ (starting from 17/10/2024)

#regina speaks ♡ ← normal posting

#regina's inbox ♡ ← asks

all posts will be tagged #mean girls rp !! and when im speaking ooc in dms or tags or whatever ill use // at the beginning !!!

about her/headcanons ♡

her full name is regina olivia george

she's 17, her birthday is january 20

she/her

lesbian, but refuses to admit it, thinks something is wrong with liking girls. a few times, she's gotten so worked up about it that she's thrown up

she's definitely neurodivergent in some way, but she gets scared whenever she thinks about that/genuinely just doesn't acknowledge it. if anyone even brings up anything to do with that, from any aspect, she gets really defensive or ignores it

she suffers from chronic pain after the bus accident, and some days it's hard for her to even get out of bed. she frequently misses school because of this, and struggles with her classes (some of that might be to do with the last point though) also she struggles to go out on her own, she's scared of stuff that should be easy, like crossing the street, but usually she'll try and cover it up, but it just gets her in a flap and AAHHH so !! either she'll try and push through, get her friends to come over to hers or get her friends or someone to walk with her. also doesn't drive on her own, and always needs to have someone with her. on super bad days, she'll get someone to drive her and she'll sit in the backseat shaking out of pure fear

her parents are divorced, she lives with her mom and sister, kylie, and never sees her dad. she has a rocky relationship with her mom and gets on so well with her sister. she doesn't remember much about her dad

she still acts like she's so tough, but she's actually a massive softie. everything you say will be taken to heart and she will cry about it

she's learning to be a better person. she's scared of being vulnerable and opening up

she's a mega germaphobe (im projecting i fear)

she acts like she enjoys parties, but really she gets overly anxious about them, so she makes sure she gets super drunk to eliminate the feeling

she loves her friends. she really does. cherishes them so much, they stuck with her through everything !!!!

she's actually a huge theater kid, but has practically eliminated that from her personality, because whoever heard of a popular girl who likes theater? she used to want to be on broadway when she was younger, but her dad told her it was stupid so she dropped the idea

she has absolutely no idea how to regulate her feelings at all, that might be obvious tbh

she just doesn't really know how to treat people, she just says and does exactly what comes to mind without thought. it feels like she has no control, which scares her

she's 5'8, she will use her height to her advantage and bully you about how short you are ♡

she loves movies ?? idk she seems like a movie lover, she has letterboxd and it's filled with old romance movies and horror films (conflicting personalities :3)

she often craves physical touch, she just wants someone to love her for her

she wishes she had a dog !! but her mom doesn't like pets. she used to beg her parents for one when she was younger, but they always said no :((

JEALOUS JEALOUS GIRL !!!!! will see one of her friends with someone else and actually feel horrific about it

driest ass texter ever. gretchen and cady are constantly like “are you mad at me :((” and she's just like “no.”

USES . AT THE END OF EVERYTHING

⚠️tw ed mention⚠️ she really struggles with food and body image, especially after the kälteen bar incident. how she views herself has always been prominent in her mind since she was a kid, but it's slightly more noticeable now. she's never told her friends, but they clearly know, and they help her, whether that's eating with her or distracting her or whatever ♡

more will be added as we go !!

[loulooser]

Hi wife!!(ilysm mwah)(you are so handsome by the by)

Could you inform me bit more about this new TØP album perhaps???

Im genuinely going to explode.

OKAY STRAP IN MOTHER FUCKERS IM ABOUT TO BRAIN DUMP

1) the theme.

So, as always, the boys changed their hair. It happens every era and i love it. Now from some screenshots from the Super Bowl where they where wearing hats, the fan base figured that Josh went red again and Tyler shaved his hair. Now from Josh’s pfp on instagram, we can see that we were right:

And I’m very happy about it.

Also, people have been calling it the ‘fire era’ or variants of that and I’m digging it icl it sounds AMAZING. The theme is- obviously- mostly red but I’m guessing its red+black. Funny thing is, there’s a few MASSIVE ties to their other album Trench (my favourite, which we will get into) and the trench theme was yellow+black. Yellow (in the lore so far) has always been a sign of the good guys or the banditos if you like to name them, and red has always been the bad guys (Dema, blurry face/nico, the bishops etc). The contrast is FABULOUS.

2) Release date.

So BBC radio 1 has leaked that they will be playing ‘the new hottest record’ from said album on the 29th of February 2024 at 6pm English time. Obviously this means that it will release the same day, being two days away from the making of this post (I am going FERAL.)

3) Details

Sadly I have no details along the lines of album title, song titles, how many songs are on it etc, but I think it’s only going to make the first listen better imo.

4) Trench links

There are a few main links, one of them being in the actual music as Paulmeany, who had a VERY big influence on the sound and contents of trench, posted a mildly cryptic photo on Instagram not too long ago.

As we can see, the people’s eyes in the photo are covered up with red (tape) which has already been seen in the teasers leading up to release covering the eyes of those on the main album covers. This is an obvious hint that he’s come back to collaborate with TØP for this new album, and also that it may sound as if ‘returning to trench’. This is important for reasons in my next point.

Aside from the tape, the letters, and the social media changes, the big way we found out a new album was on the way was through the Instagram video. This video basically gave us a run down on all of the lore up until now, confirmed that Tyler is Clancy, and also mentions at the very end that Clancy (the main character of the lore) will be ‘returning to trench’. This is said in the last few seconds of the video where he states:

“I am a citizen. I am an escapee. I am an exception. I am returning to trench. I am Clancy.”

This. Is. MASSIVE. I’ll leave the link to the video at the end of the post so you can see why, but mostly it’s that this is likely to lead to a massive showdown/rebellion and a huge turning point in the lore. This could literally go any which way and I- like every other fan- am hyped beyond words. (Get it? The Hype is a song in Trench hehe)

That’s all I have to say at the moment, but as soon as I find out more you already KNOW I’ll be posting about it for days.

Instagram video:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by twenty one pilots (@twentyonepilots)

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

I want to know :3

:D

My favorite poem is Antigonish by Hughes Mearns! It’s featured in the Magnus Archives and it is lodged in my brain forever. I’ll probably make it its own dedicated post but it talks about a man who isn’t there, with the writer wishing that the man who isn’t there would go away. It’s a lovely little poem and especially as someone whose psychosis manifests primarily as delusions, I simply Vibe with a poem about something you know isn’t there but terrorizes you anyways.

And yeah! I have taste -> color synesthesia!! For the first 10 or so years of my life I thought you could teach colors to (color)blind people using foods. It’s kind of a weird thing to try and talk about because really the main way I know that my experience of the world is different from most people’s is that language just not built for the way I experience taste. I’ve thought of trying to do some sort of art based on my synesthesia but ive never been able to figure out exactly how since it’s really difficult for me to separate taste and the colors. I also experience ‘shrimp colors’ that don’t exist in a way humans can visually experience. Like orange and green at the same time, but not grey or speckled; the color simply does not exist.

There’s also almost no correlation between visualcolors and tastecolors. Por ejemplo, carrots (orange food) taste like a desaturated forest green. The only real trends are that the more artificial a food is, the more likely it is to match color wise; and that water will lighten and desaturate things.

Also it’s difficult for me to sort of quantify since I have no other frame of reference, but it does have a lot of effects on my life. Since color tends to overwhelm any ‘normal taste’, that’s what most of my favorite (and least favorite) foods are based on. I dislike carrots because it’s unpredictable whether they’re green or brown and I don’t like that neither of those are orange. My two favorite foods are grape koolaid (it’s so purple and I like purple; I also never water it down because then it’s Purple and I can also taste sour) and salt & vinegar chips (the vinegar covers any colors).

Water is always white or a very very light grey. This does affect what water I will drink because I avoid drinking water that’s sort of tinted warm colors. Doesn’t vibe right.

And the way I describe foods is almost always color based, since that’s the main way I experience it. This has deeply confused and mildly frustrated anyone trying to learn anything applicable to their own experience of food. I have no idea what other people taste, especially since colors tend to overshadow anything else. I’m pretty sure I experience spiciness and saltiness normally though.

And as mentioned earlier, it seriously impacts my sensory issues. Tastes are doubled (I guess?) and any after taste lingers for ages. If the water im drinking is significantly tinted it builds up in my mouth and is Bad (I had to pause writing this to refill my water bottle with my house filtered water instead of the water fountain from my school since that water is reddish and my water is only very faintly teal). Also since all taste is doubled-ish I am basically always aware of the fact that my mouth has a taste and a color. Which kinda sucks.

Also I think this is an adhd thing but I have a hard time describing colors unless I’m actively tasting something because I have a word based brain and the colors are something that completely upends the English language’s way of describing the senses. That’s sort of why I always describe it as being a one way link and say “taste to color synesthesia” rather than “taste color synesthesia”, because I don’t taste anything when I see colors, I just experience colors when I taste something. I think if it went both ways I would be a very different person and would likely have meltdowns much more often but that’s pure speculation.

I thiiiink that’s everything I can think of right now, but yeah! Synesthesia! I think I heard the word about four-ish years ago now and literally nothing has clicked for me faster than that did. It took me less time to start identifying with synesthesia than it did for me to identify with any lgbtq+ label. Every time I think about the fact that ‘tasting colors’ is something that people say to mean they’re loopy or high or something and not that they can literally taste colors I have to do a double take. It’s such a seemingly tiny little thing but it’s so fundamental to my experience of the world that I cannot even imagine anything different. What does koolaid taste like if not Color? I don’t know, because all I can taste is Color.

[sluttypatrickstar]

liveblogging the horrors: without merit by colleen hoover (part 3)

(part 2 is here)

okay, sorry, new part bcus i keep posting so much including all my screenshots and stuff. im doing this on my phone otherwise the linking would be to both parts 2 and 1, but i might do a master post with links to all of the different parts later. if you’re interested in following along, all of these posts should be tagged #elijah reads without merit

chapter six

merit once again thinks honor just isn’t good enough for sagan (based on nothing but her own assumptions)

merit calls the name sagan “smart and sexy” and prefers to call him honor’s boyfriend bcus his name is just so attractive. i don’t know what is so sexy about “sagan”.

you ARE being ridiculous actually

merit is more covered up at the pool than honor, because she doesn’t feel as confident (see the above screenshots). i will forgive merit’s problematic thinking above because honestly i think teenagers can and do think like that. what i will NOT be forgiving here is that luck starts bothering her about it and insinuating that everyone has already seen what she looks like under the t shirt because they can see honor. bro you are an adult and her step uncle stop trying to make her reveal more of her body and stop implying that just because they’re identical twins they’re the same person. luck is also trying to therapise her and wants to get to “the root of” why merit is so much less confident and outgoing than her sister. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY. also leave her alone you freak

luck reveals that the reason victoria no longer speaks to him is because he ran away after stealing and pawning all of her jewellery including extremely sentimental inherited pieces. merit uses this as once again a reason to hate victoria for being the stepmom: “Funny how Victoria needs apologies from people, but she’s never once apologized to any of us for tearing out family apart.”

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, MERIT, AND ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IS YOUR FATHER BUT YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT ABOUT VICTORIA AND YOU ARE CONSEQUENTLY SO HORRIBLE TO HER and Barnaby never defends her from merit’s nastiness so honestly i would be in full support of a second victoria divorcing him. she deserves better

INCEST PUKE COMING UP SORRY EVERYONE

merit says that she is not attracted to luck, but bro, why are you even asking that you fucking weirdo!!! i am hitting this man with a bat!!!

merit has been thinking that honor isn’t good enough for sagan this whole time and angsting over him, but sagan brushes some hair off her cheek and she does a complete 180 which is funny

she has SO not been fighting her attraction to him, but i love how she’s like HES DISREPECTING MY SISTER RIGHT NOW AND THATS FUCKED UP. finally some sister solidarity

the chapter ends with more Luck Being Horrifying, including asking merit about her virginity and pressuring her to answer questions about her crush (i think luck knows it’s sagan) in front of all of her siblings (except moby) AND her sister’s boyfriend who she has a crush on. luck you are weird and horrible and i hate you.

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[cat3ch1sm]

i’ve just read your chrollo x reader… obsessed alreadyy, cant wait for your next parts to come. stay safe, love <33

🍈|OKAY GUYS HERE IT IS IM SO SORRY LMFAO- y'all have to understand how busy i am fr, there will probably need to b a part 3

💚| link to part one! (fem reader btw)

Chrollo Lucilfer had finally arrived up to the Prime Minister's extravagant bedroom, standing in front of the door and eyeing the browning blood splattered all over the floor with distaste. Carefully, he stepped over the body and head of the cadaverous corpse and eventually took his place beside you, looking down to face you. "You said that he touched you- that is why you killed him?"

"Yes, that's right... should I have refrained?" you queried cautiously, not meeting Chrollo's gaze, instead staring disdainfully at your bloodied dress.

Chrollo remained silent for a few seconds before answering. "No- I suppose we had no use for him; he'd already given up the location of his artifacts. Besides... I'm not sure that I'm very fond of the idea of him with his hands all over you..." Chrollo's jaw tightened ever so slightly as he folded his arms across his chest, staring at the floor with contempt.

You glanced up at your boss, a little caught off guard by his expression. It wasn't like he seemed outraged- but there was certainly something a bit off about his reaction. Since when did Chrollo care about anyone touching you? Usually it was anything for the mission- but now he seemed... displeased as he eyed the corpse before him dubiously. It was strange- there had been many times on missions where Troupe women had had to sleep with or seduce targets, but Chrollo had never seemed bothered by it when Machi or Pakunoda did it. Why were you suddenly an issue?

Opting to put the matter aside, you shrugged dismissively. "What matters is that we know where the treasures are- have the other Spiders been sent down to the chapel already?"

Chrollo seemed to snap out of his daze, abruptly lifting his head back up to look back at you. "Oh- yes, they were dispatched around fifteen minutes ago. They should be alright- a few guards shouldn't be a problem for them at all."

You were even more confused now, furrowing your brow. "Aren't we going to go join them?"

Chrollo's perpetually pensive gaze seemed to intensify as he looked you directly in the eyes, and suddenly you were overly conscious of the fact that your dress was still totally unzipped, leaving your Spider tattoo and much of your bare waist and back visible. Feeling a little embarrassed at being half-naked in front of your boss, you dropped your gaze to your heels, completely blood-soaked as well.

"Why would we? Retrieving a few artifacts should not be a difficult task for them- if they do happen to need us, they'll contact us."

"Oh. Uh- alright." You didn't know what else to say, pulling at your fingertips awkwardly before deciding to reach behind you to try and zip up your dress to escape from the tension. However, the angle you were positioned in stopped your arms from bending far enough to reach your zipper.

Oh, great.

"B- Chrollo, would you mind helping me redress?" you queried reluctantly, a bit mortified to have to ask the man to help you dress. "I'm sorry- I hope I didn't off-put you with my dress unzipped like that." You got to your feet, moving toward Chrollo with your eyes still fixed on the floor.

"As a matter of fact, I do mind." Chrollo replied, gazing down at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

You blinked hard before immediately defaulting to apologizing profusely, trying to correct yourself. Obviously he'd be uncomfortable- that was weird! It was weird to have your superior put your clothes back on. You shouldn't even have asked.

"You do? I apologize, I really should have known that wouldn't be proper. I'll get it myself-"

"Why would you want to cover up such beautiful skin?"

You froze- as in, you came to a complete dead stop.

What did your boss just say to you?

"I- huh?" was all you could manage to blurt. Had you heard Chrollo right? What was going on?

When Chrollo didn't respond immediately, you decided that the remark had just been your ears playing suspiciously realistic pranks on you. You blinked and wrinkled your nose, baffled, before realizing that you were still standing awkwardly in front of Chrollo, your dress still unzipped, and you immediately dropped your eyes to the ground.

"I see you're a little perplexed," Chrollo began suddenly, making you jerk your head back up in surprise. So you hadn't been hearing things- he'd actually told you that you had beautiful skin. Now you felt totally discombobulated- Chrollo wasn't making any sense. Not knowing what to say, you opted to simply stay silent as he continued, his voice calm and even as usual despite the uncharacteristically... personal words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Don't look so bewildered, Y/N." Chrollo smiled, a warm gesture with a hint of cockiness, and you couldn't believe he was acting so nonchalant. "Surely I'm not so much your superior that I can't pay you a small compliment without you getting flustered?" He tilted his head at you with a pitifully smug look on his face, his hair dropping down his head to cover his bandage.

It was getting ridiculously difficult to hide the hot blush spreading across your cheeks, but not wanting to sacrifice your dignity, you stared Chrollo in the eyes defiantly, crossing your arms across your chest, most of your upper body with the exception of your breasts still exposed.

"Well- are you enjoying the view, Chrollo?" you asked bluntly and a little peevishly, at a loss for anything else; his expression changed into one of surprise at your words.

The second the question left your mouth, you cringed internally, cursing yourself for saying something like that to your boss. He could say what he wanted- but you couldn't. You felt like an absolute mess- why did Chrollo even feel the need to compliment you to begin with? You were never going to recover from this.

But you were rather caught off guard when Chrollo responded with: "As a matter of fact, I believe I am."

Without thinking, you let out a quick disgruntled exhale- now you'd never be able to regain your composure. Unable to come up with anything flirtatious and still quite confused, you made a lame attempt to maneuver your way out of the situation using reason, taking several steps back from the man to make yourself seem more disinterested than you admittedly actually were. "Chrollo, all I do is work for you. There's just no way we can-"

You knew it was a weaker protest than you'd hoped it to be when Chrollo interrupted you with an audible chuckle before fixing you with a stare that made your knees wobble a little. Still, you held his tranquil but mischievous gaze the best you could.

"Y/N," Chrollo murmured, almost whispered- "I don't want to hear your excuses. Come here."

Okay, so he definitely saw straight through your facade. Great- at the very least, you hoped he couldn't sense your growing arousal, the moisture pooling in between your legs. It would be humiliating if he found out you were already turned on.

A little warily, you walked back towards him, your dress halfway down your shoulders and barely covering your chest anymore. What was he doing? Was he displeased with you?

Your questions were answered when Chrollo took your chin in his hands delicately and pressed your lips gently to his, and instinctively you lifted your own arm and wrapped a hand around the wrist that had your chin. Chrollo seemed to sense that you were on edge, however, and wrapped his other arm around your waist firmly, as if to protect you from some unseen danger. The gesture did help your body relax some, and it was just after you closed your eyes as well that Chrollo pulled away.

"Chrollo, why-?"

Chrollo held up a hand to stop you mid-sentence, already knowing what you would ask him. "Ah- it's a little hard to pinpoint just when I began to feel something for you, I'm afraid. But as for why?"

You stood there expectantly, still a little dazed from Chrollo's tender kiss, waiting for him to tell you what had drawn him to you.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you exactly what it was." Chrollo's stare suddenly intensified, and he leaned down to kiss you again, unexpectedly; this time you did not stiffen.

You were quiet for a little while. "Well... I suppose I can't say I don't feel the same way... but what about the others? Of course, right now we still have a mission to carry out, and I'm sure the other spiders are waiting for us. And not just now- if we try to go anywhere with this, what would it do to the Troupe's dynamic?" The initial euphoria of Chrollo's kiss had faded away and doubt began to set in. "Perhaps this isn't the best idea- there's just so much to consider-"

"Didn't I say I didn't want to hear any more excuses, Y/N?" Chrollo cut you off, his expression somewhat goading with an eyebrow raised. "If anybody has anything to say about this, I'll deal with it myself. Do you understand?" His tone was firm and authoritative, and it put you a little back on edge.

When you didn't respond, Chrollo took it as to mean that you agreed. "Why don't you calm down, my dear- nobody will harm you. I only want to please you."

You still weren't that convinced- this all felt quite sudden and you weren't sure how to process it. The words were sweet and they seemed sincere- but what was really behind them? Dubious, you remained silent.

"God, you're stubborn," Chrollo muttered, and you turned to him in shock- but you barely had time to process the remark before you felt Chrollo's arm slip around your waist and your body being pushed back until you were at the foot of the bed- and once you were there, you toppled over, Chrollo forcing your back down onto the bed.

"Chrollo-" you gasped, but he cut you off with a passionate kiss, one that made you glad you were already laying down- and without thinking, you kissed him back as his hands made their way to the loose straps of your dress and slid them down your arms; you made no move to stop him.

"Don't worry," Chrollo promised, voice breathless but level as always. "As I said- I only want to please you."

🌱| (author's note after editing): okay y'all r gonna kill me but... i will be away for about four days so uploads will still b slow- part 3 will def have actual smut for sure but i knew i couldn't keep u guys waiting any longer😭😭😭 im super sorry hang in there guys ily

[peachy-tea-anon]

Sᴍᴀʟʟ Sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ

ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ x ꜰᴇᴍ! Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Warnings: none, just super fluffy and crackheaded :)

You open up streamlabs, getting ready to start your twitch stream.

You were a pretty small streamer, averaging about 1k viewers per stream. You couldn't complain, your fan base was super sweet and to you it was less about fame and more about doing what you love.

Before you could start, you made sure to turn on your signature pink lights, and grabbing a water bottle to make sure you don't get dehydrated during stream.

As the stream starts, you wave at your camera. "Hi chat!! How are we tonight?"

HI Y/NNN

Good :)

YOOOOO Y/N STREAM

You smiled, pulling up Minecraft.

"So today we're just gonna do a chill stream, im gonna hop on my world and do some building and answer questions!"

You open up your minecraft world, greeting your dogs and heading to to mine. You thank fitters, answer a few questions about college, basic stuff. After a while of answering questions, the chat gets pretty slow.

But then all of a sudden, everyone starts spamming. The chat moves at rapid speed, and you can't even see what they're saying.

"Uhhh chat are you guys good??"

So you open up streamlabs again and see...

Dream has just subscribed at tier 3!

Dream has just donated $50!

Your face drops in disbelief, and you go to read chat again.

DREAM???

WTF

DREAM ON Y/N STREAM LETS GOOO

You quickly realize what just happened and quickly thank him, your hands covering your face as you're still just in utter disbelief.

Dream has just donated $100

Dream: Check discord :)

"Guys wtf..." you stare in awe at the screen, then scrambling to get into discord, putting on your "switching games<3" screen for the stream.

You finally work up the courage to open his message.

Do you wanna join the DreamSMP?

You're internally freaking out at this point, everything was moving so fast.

You quickly reply with a

Yes omg!! Thank you so much!!

After that, you're sent the link to the server.

You turn your screen on so that your chat can see.

Y/N has joined

You walk around a bit, still in utter shock that this is happening. You're personally seeing all of the landmarks you had watched in so many streams from your favorite MCYTs.

All of a sudden, someone joins your voice chat and runs up to you, starting to hit you. They look like dream, but have the Mexican flag and a small beard.

"WTF MANNNNN" the voice says, immediately recognizing that it's quackity.

"Quackity???" You say.

"Nooooo im Mexican dreammmmm man. You can call me MD"

"Okay MD.. where's dream?" You ask cautiously, not knowing what the figure could do next.

"AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU MAN??"

He starts shouting in Spanish, and you giggle until you see the real dream sprinting up to MD, killing him with his netherite sword.

"Haha sorry about him... anyways hi!! Im dream, ill be your guide around the server!"

You smile at him, greeting him in return. As he takes you to a few landmarks, you meet plenty of people along the way. A young boy that seems to curse a lot, Tommy, and his quieter best friend tubbo. Tommy freaks out about something along the lines of a woman being added to the server.

Then you meet sapnap and george, dreams best friends. George is British, and sapnap makes a lot of sexual jokes to piss george off.

"Awwww now Y/N is gonna be dreams lover and not youuuuuu" sapnap teases.

You look at your chat for the first time in a while, and you've jumped to 10K viewers.

They all start spamming "Y/NWASTAKEN" and "💞💚" and you giggle.

After a while, you say goodbye to dream, george, and sapnap and eventually to your chat.

You can't even comprehend what just happened.

A/N: Hi everyone!! Hope you enjoyed, this one was a bit rushed, but i wanted something in between me writing part one and two of the school project series. If you haven't read it yet, be sure to check it out!!! It'll be updated very soon. If you have any requests, leave a comment!! Thank you <3

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[philipkindreddickhead]

I often seen critiques of make up from an existential/philosophical perspective, but I rarely see criticism of cosmetics from a stand point of the very physical bodily harm it does. I think this is because the number of dangerous ingredients is so massive, and overlapping its an absolutely daunting task. So I've compiled the information I've found and bear with me its a lot. (This is from an American perspective. Sorry, thats what I know. However I would love it if people from other countries had things to add.)

First I want to get the "simple" stuff out of the way. I think almost everyone has heard about bacteria and fungi in makeup and that makeup causes acne from clogging pores. Makeup has a pretty strict shelf life, yet consumers are entirely supposed to self-police as Ive never seen a single expiration date on any cosmetic packaging. (I guess consumers are meant to pull this knowledge out of the ether or something. I only found out about it in a tumblr PSA. I did read that expirys are on products in Europe.) Beauty blenders are the worst offender because theyre almost always moist. When I was taught makeup I was told to wet my sponge so it would soak up less product. If you apply makeup daily your sponge is likely constantly damp. USA Today had an article which said that 96% of sponges had fungi and over 60% had E. Coli in them. But I think what people talk about less is the complication of problems from using other products in conjunction with dirty beauty blenders. USA Today warns its especially dangerous to use beauty blenders if you have damage to your skin like acne, cuts, or dry skin. However the most popular beauty products for washing your face contain walnut pieces for literally scrubbing your skin and creating microabrasions. If youre a frequent makeup user you probably know about the cyclical nature of applying foundation, breaking out, and then applying more foundation to cover the breakout. You may even be using scrubbing cleansers more frequently to combat the acne creating more tears. This can lead to "blood poisoning" and, though neither USA today or Forbes mentions this, blood poisoning (not a medical term btw. Its sepsis.) according to numerous medical sites has the potential to be extremely lethal. The symptoms are so similar to a regular flu its nearly impossible to self-diagnose.

The very first thing I was told when a friend handed me a jar of finishing powder- popular with many beauty gurus for the "baking" technique and considered a must have- was a joke about "clown lung." This was a reference to the main ingredient talc. Talc causes lung problems including cancer and respiratory illness. If anyone remembers the large Johnson and Johnson lawsuit from 2019 it was because theyd been putting talc into baby powder. Talc is dangerous because it's impossible to mine and seperate from ASBESTOS. Some high-end finishing powders will try to sell you on safe talc-free formulas but all the products I looked into contained mica instead which causes pneumoconiosis, colloquially known as "black lung disease." Like fucking coal miners get. Its not just present in finishing powder either. In my research it turned out that talc/asbestos are also present in many eyeshadows and other powder products. [Googleable, evidenced in J&J lawsuit]

Another industry to examine is nail salons. Toluene, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, and Methacrylate compounds are all dangerous ingredients and present in various salon products. These ingredients cause a range of problems from dizziness, drowsiness, birth defects, slow fetal growth, future intellectual disabilities in the fetus, eye skin and throat irritation, coughing, allergic reactions, asthma-like attacks, short-term memory loss, nausea, dermatitis, cancer, and misscarriage. Some nail products advertise that they are 3-free meaning that toluene, formaldehyde, and DP should be absent but often the labels are found to be completely inaccurate. It should be noted that the risk is mainly to salon workers and not patrons but ask yourself if it is right to place other people at serious risk for your aesthetic. OSHA does make an attempt to mitigate these risks however not once in my years of makeup queen did I see a salon following these directives which include constant air monitoring, half mask respirators with chemical cartridges, gloves, long sleeves, and safety glasses. (And Im not even going to touch issues of human trafficking/slave labour out of nail salons one case of which occured 5 days ago two hours away from me) It should also be noted that formaldehyde can also be found in hair relaxers and hair dyes. [Found articles in Scientific American and NYT]

I also found on the FDAs website that many cosmetics include heavy metals like arsenic, mercury, and lead. (Usually accompainied by a picture of lipstick so I assume that is the product most likely to contain it, however campaign for safe cosmetics lists foundation as containing heavy metals, and The Guardian has an article about skin lighteners from Asia and Africa containing mercury.) The website stated that the amount of these heavy metals in cosmetics is "safe" if used as intended. (and I'm going to come back to the concept of "intended use" later because thats a can of worms too) However, when searching for info on heavy metal safety I found this quote in regards to metals in food:

"Certain metals, such as arsenic, lead and mercury, have no established health benefit, and have been shown to lead to illness, impairment, and in high doses, death. Understanding the risk that harmful metals pose in our food supply is complicated by the fact that no single food source accounts for most people’s exposure to metals in foods. People’s exposure comes from many different foods containing these metals. Combining all of the foods we eat, even low levels of harmful metals from individual food sources, can sometimes add up to a level of concern"

So like, which is it? Is it a "safe amount" or is no amount of metal safe? I understand that in the case of certain foods like fish some amount of mercury poisoning is always expected but fish is also something you feed yourself and nourish your body with while cosmetics are completely unecessary to your survival. The mercury problem in fish is also mitigated by health warnings when mercury levels are particularly high but cosmetics have no such warning. Another warning on the site indicated that children should ingest NO amount of lead AT ALL because it is particularly harmful for kids yet theres no effort to stop children from using lead-containing cosmetics. I worked next to a Five Below where I was shocked to find they sold Jeffree Star and Anastasia eyeshadow dupes for five dollars which amounts to fucking pocket change for a lot of kids and kids do buy that stuff. I also think its ironic the FDA would have anything to say regarding cosmetics because in the very same article about heavy metals in cosmetics the FDA says that they DO NOT REGULATE cosmetics beyond the color additives.

Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and brow tint often contain carbon black. This is a color additive that is an incomplete combustion of carbon-based products. It can cause lung disease, cancer, and organ system toxicity, and eye, nose, throat irritation. The effects are mainly studied in rats and those at biggest risk are industrial workers but why do other workers have to endure lung problems for something so unecessary? [Easily googleable, NIH, CDC, WHO Europe]

This next bit I only want to mention briefly because I didnt find any particularly reputable sources about it, but its a claim that cropped up repeatedly and I think its an interesting one. Parabens, estrogen, phthalates (again), and pesticides in cosmetics are apparently linked to endocrine disorders and hormone dysregulation. Im not entirely sure what is meant by this accusation. Endocrine disorders include female diseases like PCOS and possibly endometriosis. None of these diseases is very well studied and the female endocrine system itself is not well studied either. Im not saying "cosmetics cause PCOS" because we dont know if PCOS or these other endocrine/hormonal disorders are genetic or environmental or both (it appears that PCOS is largely genetic and Endometriosis is likely autoimmune related) AND we dont appear to know for sure that cosmetic ingredients cause endocrine disorder. But I include anyway for a number of reasons:

If you happen to struggle with hormonal problems you may want to know cosmetics is a potential environment factor.

These conditions are incredibly painful. It will be a battle getting your doctor to even acknowledge that pain for diagnosis. PCOS is linked to diabetes, and heart disease. [Thanks @mother-of-pearl ] There is no cure and the treatments are often throwing hormonal birth control at it and hoping for the best.

I dont anticipate the link between cosmetics and endocrine disorders being studied any time soon or any endocrine disorders studied at all because the medical/scientific field is sexist. I dont want women to suffer in the mean time.

Now again, take this with a grain of salt because I couldnt find scientific or news sources for it. Dont fucking come for me. Im not gonna respond to you. [Most reputable source was a paper from the library of medicine at the national institutes of health but it was behind a paywall and I dont have 39 dollars to be right on tumblrdotcom]

Avoiding these ingredients is not as simple as scanning the label for them. As many beautubers and the community are no doubt aware considering multiple scandals over veganism. Products advertised as vegan or cruelty free but contain non-vegan carmine or are sold in China which legally requires the products to be animal tested. Cosmetic companies will hide ingredients claiming they are "trade secrets" or they will be placed under "fragrance." Many ingredients will be known by six or seven different names and asking consumers to be aware of seven different names for multiple ingredients requires consumers to be aware of innumerable different, often complicated ingredient names. I shouldnt have to point out that's a ridiculous burden to place on women. The EU banned 1,300 hazardous ingredients that the US did not. Cosmetic companies rely on women being unwilling/unable to bring in a list of 1,300 ingredients- with multiple names- every time they pop in to the drug store, sephora, or wherever. Buying "natural" products will not help you either. Theres no established criteria for natural/organic in costmetics, the FDA doesnt test these products, and "natural"=/= safe anyway. Plenty of plants and minerals are poisonous. One good example is traditional kohl products which advertise their natural status but also naturally contain lead and reiterating that natural powders contain mica. US courts are rarely on the side of consumers either. I found an interesting lawsuit against St. Ives for their apricot scrub taken to court for their "dermatologist tested" label despite it causing breakouts and cuts to the skin. The courts ruled that this label was fine because it only indicated that the product was TESTED not APPROVED by dermatologists. However I think any rational consumer would look at this label and assume the tests concluded it was safe for use or else why put the label on there?

[Googlable XMONDO drama, googlable laws wrt china and eu, already stated about FDA, FDA website about Kohl. Googled St. Ives lawsuit.]

I want to return to the idea of "intended use." This is sort of a fucky concept a lot of companies have ways of getting around. My "last straw" with makeup had to do with a run-in I had with Anastasia over their "Riviera" eyeshadow palette. In this pallette they had two colors that were the real feature of the palette, an electric neon purple and a radioactive pink I mean every photo, every promotion has these two colors swirled together around the eye. Because again, its an eyeshadow palette. When I buy the eyeshadow palette of course there's a little insert warning in the package that says these two shades are not intended on the eye area. In an eyeshadow palette. Contacting their customer service they told me that these two shades were meant to be used as a blush. neon purple blush. Not only that, but their website and instagram featured NO models wearing the shades as blush while EVERY model one or more of the shades as eyeshadow. When asked about this discrepancy ABH stopped responding. What I find egregious about this is the amount of people who dont know, and then more staggeringly; dont care. The sephora clerks didnt know, the in store abh representative didnt know, their customers didnt know, and when I told them they would respond with "oh, [brand] did the same thing with their [shade]." Sure enough, when I demanded that store clerks open the packaging to look for warnings nearly every product had an "eyeshadow" that was not intended for use on the eyes. Relegating dark, red-toned teal to "contour" and neon grean to "highlighter" US-based cosmetic junkies will say that these pigments have been approved for use by the EU however I found absolutely NO evidence of that. I googled it a thousand ways but all I ever found were blog posts, reddit comments, and one quote from an apparently nonEuropean layman in an Insider article. I even changed my location to France on ABH's website and the Norvina palette still contains the same warnings (not to harp on ABH in particular. I just know which shades in particular are the problem there). The Insider article noted that brands who were selling pressed pigments declined to comment. If the pressed pigments were EU friendly, I would think companies would be clamouring to say so. It also still makes their market as eyeshadow colors illegal in the US. (If any Europeans would like to chime in I'd love that.) Another problem I find with cosmetics companies and their reps is the claim that the worst thing that could happen is eye irritation for those with sensitive eyes and staining. How could they possibly know? The FDA doesnt test, or approve these cosmetics in the eye area, so ostensibly no one should be using it that way.

The next one is a bit of a "duh" but I'm going to talk about it anyway. Counterfeit cosmetics are a booming market full of untold dangers. Untold primarily because these products could contain literally anything. Ive read about glue, arsenic, lead, feces, staph, and horse urine to name a few. The labels and ingredient list on these products are fake. Legitimate brands often unintentionally play into the counterfeit market. They create artificial scarcity by making less of the product than is actually needed for consumer demand to create an even higher demand. If consumers miss out often their only chance at getting the product is to turn to counterfeits. I found examples of women who had their lips superglued, lips "turned to goo" and burned to blistering, throat closures, women with stys, contact dermatitis, eye infections. I think we as a society turn a blind eye to this problem because we think "hey, if youre buying counterfeits for a discount and you get hurt you deserve it." We imagine idiots buying products for 4 dollars from ebay or perusing Canal street for FEИTY beauty. But these counterfeits can be really convincing. I myself received a gift of a huda palette that I only recognized something was weird about it because I'd swatched it at sephora about five times earlier that month. The person who bought it for me actually paid MORE than the usual cost for the palette because it was advertised as a newer, better edition. The websites can be disturbingly similar. For instance Kylie Jenner's legitimate website is KylieCosmetics.com but you can find fakes at kyliecosmeticsshop.co.uk. These fakes can buy ad space and be one of the first sites that populate when you google the products instead of typing the legitimate site into the address bar. Counterfeits can also be bought and sold through third parties on websites like ebay, wish, and amazon. (My gift actually came from Amazon.)

[Netflix doc "Broken" ep "Makeup Mayhem" Corroborated by personal experience and google]

[ambiguousgrass]

ambiguousgrass pinned post wooo yippeee yay

a few things

-My name is grass ambiguousgrass

-pronouns- /it/beep/void/boo/grass/⭐️/🦝/🌱he/she/they

-if I have liked your art and not reblogged, it's in my queue! you'll see it there in a few days!

-I DO ART HERES THE link to art taglist

-i am always following and unfollowing people Im SORRY!! its not personal i just need my dashboard to be Better

more information under the cut if ur interested :3

Art

•this is an art blog! its few and far between but its there!!

•art requests are open!

•all of my art is tagged as grass does art linked here for your convenience ^_^

•If you'd like to be notified when I post a finished piece, interact in any way with the linked post here (rbs appreciated <3)

•you are welcome to use my art in any non-commercial way, as long as proper credit is given. (for example personal icons, print outs, banners, etc. are cool. selling it as stickers or claiming it as your own is not ok.)

•my main mediums are pen&ink, graphite pencil, colored pencils, watercolors, acrylic, clay, cardboard, and digitally i use procreate.

blog contents/fandoms

used to be a dsmp fan but I'm trying to distance myself from that. on account of the everything.

Now its just stuff?? i dont know.

maybe a little TMA here and there? I love the podcast but i have to take breaks from listening to it very often due to the disorders

Every day i get closer and closer to posting about doctor who so enjoy this who free era while it lasts. i might give up and make a side blog one day but who knows. haha. who

edit: I have very much posted about dr who. and also discovered torchwood now. to all the normal people following me my condolences. it is going to get worse

boun der ries

be nice to me

I block and unfollow liberally on account of I meticulously curate my dashboard forfun

- spam likes/rbs/etc are so very welcome! i may seem to be dead for a little while after due to my possum like swag but its ok

-mutuals can ask for my discord if you want but i don't talk much on there.

-feelfree to tag me on stuff. reblog chains. a funny video. art that id like. whatever!! I may not respond but thats just because that stuff gets buried in my notifs and i forgor about them

tagging system

‼️‼️being redone‼️‼️

i realized that tagging things the way i didnt was not working for me so everythings untagged for the time being. I'll redo my tagging system but I'm not going back to fix old posts so this key will stay here along with the updated version. its going to be a while though

grass yells into the void - original posts

grass reblogs - reblogs

the void yells back - asks

grass does art - my own art

​grass queues things - queue

undescribed- posts i create or reblog without image description

fav -posts i like a lot

animals - creatures i like

food - food

c!clingyduo the world - cclingyposting

dr who- dr who

mlp- mlp

tma- tma

(any fandom i post about has a pretty straightforward tag for it in theory)

media types are tagged. (for example #video or #gif.) this is not super consistent, my apologies.

further tagging

as stated above, i tag posts that don't have ID as "undescribed."

the majority of my original posts have image descriptions in their alt texts, which I do myself.

we do not use a screenreader, so I am always willing to hear about ways I can improve the way i post things to make things more accessible.

I occasionally add image descriptions to things i reblog, but I don't do so often.

I have a pretty loose system for tagging potentially upsetting content, but if you ask me to tag a specific thing in a specific way I will do my best to uphold that.

original posts are tagged with as many different trigger tags as I can just to cover all the bases, but rbs are usually just tagged as the thing im warning for [for example- #spiders]

I may reblog posts reguarding political issues, and these will also be tagged as the thing im talking about for filtering purposes.

active sideblogs

@ambiguousseagrass criaturas del mar 🌊 🐠

@ambiguousgrassstims - stimboards nd the like

may be more at somepoitn. shrugs.

thats it bye bye

[wolfmarrow]

Ok, fuck it

I tossed around the idea of making this post for a while but wasn't sure because I don't like posting personal stuff on the internet, I see like 6 posts like this a day anyway, and im just not a fan of asking for help. Call me crazy.

But for the sake of trying or whatever...covering all my bases I guess.

I'm trying to get out of my house, its my number one priority and I am working two jobs to try and save up, stashing my tips, I also opened commissions but I've only gotten about 3 since being opened around the time quarantine started and that might even be a generous estimate.

Why am I doing this? Because im an LGBT+ identifying person (whatever you wanna call it because im not interested in sharing my identity) and I live with my father who is beyond brain washed by extremely conservative media. Not going to go into details for shock value, because he can be beyond awful but thats the jist of it.

We can't be in the same room together without getting into a screaming match. If I ignore him he pokes fun at me until I have to acknowledge him. Its lose lose for me.

The house is dirty (which i routinely am blamed for even though maybe 20% of the stuff in the house actually belongs to me.), there are fleas and rats that they refuse to do anything about (had to buy their dogs and cats flea and tick treatment which put me out 200 dollars at the time which I wasn't paid back for.)

I dont have outside family im close with to live with so getting my own place is the only option at this point.

Which leads me to my final point.

Here's my Ko-Fi, if anyone is interested in dropping some spare change or whatever I would be very greatful.

I still don’t know how to use Ko-Fi btw lmao but I’m working on it. Was gonna link my paypal but it said my full legal name so how about nah

[megazardx2]

Amphibia Week: DAY 4 (How I Got Into Amphibia)

Hey, everyone! MegaZardX2 here, and this is my fourth post for @picturejasper20′s Amphibia Week! If any of you fellow Amphibia fans want to celebrate your love for this awesome show along with us, then click on the link below to find out more:

https://picturejasper20.tumblr.com/post/682350306192916480/hello-amphibia-fans-im-organizing-a-fandom

For today’s Amphibia week post, I’ll be talking about how I got hooked onto this funny frog show in the first place! Gather around the campfire, because it’s an epic tale filled with many twists and turns! 

Alright, perhaps I’m overselling it a bit. Still, I hope you enjoy hearing about my story regardless! 

I sadly didn’t have the pleasure of getting into Amphibia until 2020, a whole year after Season 1 ended. As a huge fan of isekais (yes, even trashy ones), I found myself intrigued by the show’s premise, but I never could have predicted just how much I’d fall in love with it. The world of Amphibia was wonderfully wild and deadly, the themes surrounding found family and toxic friendships really struck a chord with me, and I fell in love with all the characters, even the side ones! I was caught off-guard by the intensity of Reunion, but little did I know that was just a prelude for what I would experience later on.

After watching S1, I found myself hungry for more, and luckily, Season 2 dropped soon after, gifting me with more excellent episodes and Marcy freaking Wu, who was one of the brightest spots of my whole year. I fell off Amphibia after Season 2A finished, but I jumped back on just in time to catch up before True Colors--well, before True Colors was planned to air, anyway. Of course, the episode was delayed, and then it leaked. I tried to avoid spoilers, but eventually, I learned about Marcy’s untimely “death.” I cried for a solid three hours and was sick to my stomach for about two days before I finally calmed down and reminded myself “hey, this is a Disney show! Surely they’re gonna bring her back! Besides, at least now the episode can’t do anything more to hurt me. We already know Sasha’s gonna betray everyone, and Andrias is obviously evil, so that’s all the bases covered! Hooray for me!” 

And then the episode came out proper and utterly DESTROYED me. 

This scene--heck, True Colors in its entirety, but especially this scene--broke me like nothing I’d ever watched. Even now, I can barely look at this scene and not tear up. It was and still is that powerful for me. After watching True Colors, I was began to legitimately question what kind of ending the show would have. Would the trio’s friendship work out? Heck, would all of them even survive, now that Amphibia had shown that it had no qualms with killing its characters in such a graphic manner, even if, in Marcy’s case, it was only temporary? What could I expect from Season 3? I had complete Amphibia brainrot...and it was amazing! I’d never experienced anything like it with any work of media since Pokemon, and at the time, Gen 8 and the various fandom controversies were really souring my love of the franchise. Thus, Amphibia quickly became my brand-new hyperfixation (but it also ended up driving me away from, like, 90% of isekais. Oh well! Sacrifices must be made for the greater good!) 

It was then that I finally decided to join the fandom proper. I got onto the r/Amphibia Discord, made a good friend in @spomby (love ya too, buddy), and quickly bounced once I’d had enough of the cacophony and joined a smaller server. I also saw a lot of analysis posts and videos detailing stuff I had missed during my viewing of Season 2 (especially stuff surrounding Marcy), and I felt like a total moron, but in a good way, since the show had completely blindsided me in a way that I hadn’t been in a long, long time. 

Y’all know the rest from my post for Day 1. S3 was good but got a bit stressful for me as it wore on up until the Beginning of the End. Now, here I am, 100% hyped for All in, ESPECIALLY Sasha vs. Darcy. This show’s been so amazing thus far, and I’m so excited to see how it all ends. 

----------------

Thank y’all for reading! Tune in next time for a post which will cover Days 5 and 6 of Amphibia Week, when I talk about my favorite creature and favorite piece of music from the series. This is MegaZardX2, signing off!