#i know i havent said much yet im still figuring her out

[vigilskeep]

the reason i’m excited that i’m having fun with gwenyf (my current cadash) is that if i succeed with a dwarf rogue i will satisfy all the bizarre elements of my brain that wish me to have one protagonist of each class and race via minerva keir gwenyf. and i will finally, for at least one worldstate variant, be at peace

[fictioonbanger]

reader in denial a bit with bestie eren!

eren x black reader

sub eren hinted a bit, alcohol usage, rough sex, facd fucking, smut, profanity.

thinking about how you and eren fuck almost every night, and i mean every night when eren finally realizes you need him as much as he needs you. but you both dont have a title yet, now dont get eren wrong. he would love a title, he wants to call you his, and for you to do the same. you just don’t know how to take it, your bestfriend of childhood being your boyfriend. it was always what you wanted, but how would it seem to others around you both when you denied multiple times already. no one to blame but yourself for digging it deeper and now being a little werry of wanting to admit your feeling for eren.

eren doesnt let you both not having a title keep you away from each other. he loved you, that was a fact and obvious. on the other hand you might say no if someone were to ask if you and eren were dating. eren on the other hand tells the full honest truth.

“nah we not together, but she still mine as i am of hers.” eren spoke sipping his cup of alcohol at the bar him and his friends were at

“so she has you under a leash?” jean chuckled taking his last of alcohol fully and tilting his head back.

eren mean mugged him and spoke up glaring at his snarky comment. “no, she doesnt.. and if she did it wouldnt be too bad.” eren shrugged and his friends laughed he rolled his eyes and looked away. day dreaming about you and how he’d kill to be with you right now.

and thats exactly what he did, except of the killing part. he grabbed his keys off the stand and began getting off the stool. “where ya goin?” armin tilted his head to look at eren from over jean. “hes gonna see his little owner.” jean chuckled to himself at his own joke causing both them to roll their eyes. “its better than being with shitface over here.” eren stood and started to walk towards the door, jean scoffed rolling his eyes and ordering another drink.

you were in your room of your pretty decorated apartment, pink picture frames, gray marbled counters, stuffed animals on your couch and little lights everywhere was how you’d describe your apartment. eren, would say different “ ‘ts too pink, make my eyes hurt baby.” hed mock you and cover his eyes as you rolled yours, the “baby” word going completely over your head. it wasnt out of the blue for eren to call you petnames, i mean you’ve asked him before and all his response is. “what? you dont like them pretty?” of course you’re gonna say you do, thats how you felt and honestly hoped he didnt stop.

you were watching a movie on your laptop snacking on whatever was in the kitchen, getting distracted by a message at 11:12pm. you really knew who it was though, eren comes at this time. not everyday of course but only when hes been out or busy.

eren <3; im at the door ma

you; mhm here i come.

rolling out of bed and straddling through your living room and towards the front door you began unlocking it. finishing then opening the door to see erens slim figure in the doorway. he had already a cracked smile on his face, he couldnt wait to see you. its been awhile and it was his fault, he knew hed have to make up for it. he thought you’d greet him with a hug and a peck on the cheek, the usual. instead you stared at him for a bit before turning around and letting him. not saying a word eren sighed and closed the door locking it then began to walk behind you. he slid his hands on each side of ur waist and put his head on your shoulder from behind. “cmon y/n, im sorry you havent seen me in awhile..i havent been ghosting you honest.” he spoke softly in your ear, he sounded so sincere and pretty upset he hadnt seen you either. “been real busy..you know id rather be here.” he said as you stood in place as he rocked you both softly side to side as he held onto you.

“doesnt matter to me..not like we’re together right?” you looked away to the side, you knew your words were bad. and that they wouldnt effect eren, he listens to all your fits and upsets. doesnt bother him a bit, only about the situation that made you feel that way in the first place. other than that he knows how to get you out that state. “dont be so mean y/n.. you hurtin my feelings.” he said sarcastically removing away from you and fake grabbing his heart. “im serious eren-“ “how about we change that then?” you were shocked at his words, eyes widening and you quickly turning to look at him. “what?” you spoke softly eyes glistening a bit and gazed upon erens face. “can we please change it..” eren spoke up then got onto his knees infront of you, holding onto your legs with both hands. he put his face by your stomach and inhaled your scent he loved so much. “i really want you y/n.. want you to be mine.” he mumbled looking up at you. you were hot in the face, feeling your blood rise up to your cheeks. “i-i want you too ren..” you spoke softer, gazing down at how he held onto you.

and this just made eren so much bolder, your emotion changing quickly at how swift he moved to leaning over you. he held your waist again and peered into your orbs with his green ones, a snarky smile on his face. “you do?” he questioned tilting his head down at you reaching close to your face. your lips barely touching as you breathed in each others air. “badly.” you breathed out, thats all eren needed to hear before sweeping you off your feet. carrying you with both hands on your ass supporting your legs wrapped around him. walking you both towards your opened bedroom noses touching as eren goes in for a kiss. you took in his tongue and slipped past your own, moaning into it and squeezing around eren. he chuckled and laid you onto the bed, he was leaning over your body. humping his hard crotch into your clothed cunt in missionary. he groaned staring at just how your face looks when he makes you feel good.

eren didnt hold back the whole night, putting you in positions you didnt know you were capable of. he fucked you into a babbling mess under him. “ ‘s too much!! cant take i-it ren!” you squealed out as he pushed deeper hitting the spot he hit earlier making you yet orgasm again. your eyed rolled in the back of your head as you released onto him, cum dripping down and sliding his shaft wetting his balls. eren saw this and looked up to were your mouth was open. he smirked and quickly grabbed a fist full of your braids making you do a soft yelp that moved into a low moan. “how bout you clean your mess up hm?” with a handful he moved you up and towards his leaking dick with his precum standing pearly off the tip and your cum that covered it. you willingly took him fully into your mouth without another word, you let him into your throat and placed soft kisses on his tip. feeling your throat once eren couldnt get enough and forced your head onto him more, now guiding you. you loved when eren was like this, when he was in control. he liked when youd do it to, but pleasuring you more was his ideal choice. you licked him up and jerked him off while doing it making erens toes curl. he tried to move away at a point but was stopped by a hard hand on his thigh that kept him down. “m-m gonna fuckin cum..” he seethed out through his teeth as his hips started to move on his own fucking your face as you kinda took control. he was eager to nut and his hips had a mind of their own chasing his high. you took him fully one last time in your throat as erens hips buckled. he grabbed ahold of your head pushing it down one last time as he came into your mouth. moaning a loud mess and breathing ever so heavily, he caressed your cheek hand leaving your head, wiping away the tears that poured while he face fucked you.

“this means you’re mine now yeah?” eren thumb was still wiping under your eye, tilting his head he slowly moved it to your plumped lips parting them and making way for his thumb. you took it into your mouth and gave it a soft suck as you kissed it after

“mm yeah.” was your response, and it couldnt have made eren happier hearing this. causing you both to go into your 7th round? counting yes.

[mellohd]

EMH Marble Hornets AU!!

ok i know im not creative when it comes to aus but i thought itd be interesting to tell the story of MH through EMH’s story? IF YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHTS OR QUESTIONS PLS LEAVE SOME IN MY INBOX!!! :-]( or even questions for the MH!EMH characters heh)1

Basically its just marble hornets told through EMH, for example instead of “tapes i found” story telling theyd open a youtube channel for tips and tricks on making your own movie while they make their own called Marble Hornets! EMH/MLA spoilersish up ahead

Heres the character correspondences:

Alex-> Jeff

Jay-> Vinnie

Tim-> Evan

Brian-> Michael!MLA

Jess-> Alex!EMH

Amy ->Jeffs GF(so sorry i forgot her name 😭)

“Masky”->Habit(which makes sense depending on the theories you go with for either series)

“Hoody”->Patrick (same as the last one)

Characters in cant figure out an association with:

Steph, Jess(Evans bestfriend) Shaun So they might just not have a place in this story idk

Since Mlanderson and EMH are in the same universe i thought id make Brian the Michael/Patrick of this story, except more involved. Instead of their being a shaun i think id like Brian to just go to MH crew, if ykwim. I did this cause the only other character i thought could fit Brian was Alex!EMH and I didnt like that.

My take on Masky is that hes just a more aware Tim, not a separate being (tho i do like to think of it that way for fun sometimes ha ha). Masky in my mind was in a battle against the operators control and was ultimately trying to help Jay. I think Masky would br Habit in this series cause of the theory that Habit is one of the first few iterations of Evan, thats why theyre similar and so compatible etc if you know the theory you know. That does mean that Tim isnt gonna act all ha ity, just more erratic i think, i havent gone tooooooo far into a characterization(or even a name) for Emh!MH Habit yet

“Hoody” I see as just brian and he was just disguising himself. in this au “Hoody” would be patrick. Let me explain,

Frim what i gathetef through my second watch of EMH and, my first of MLA , patrick is just Michael but remembers every single iteration, hes a similar being to Habit, thats why he has powers ig? Look i havent gotten too far into theories fir MLA the fandom is so dead i never see any 😭😭. I dont want to get to far into theories on other series anyways cause rhis is about my AU so ANYYYYWAYS i think brian would fit that its just brians story doesnt fit entirely with Michael, actually Tim would probably fit more now that i think about it. Oh god now im thinking of switching them again uhm wtv

I think the rest of the correspondences make sense if you think about it a bit. Jay as Vinnie makes sense to me because of boths compulsive need for answers even though its destructive to those around them. Jay wouldnt be as much as a villain in this like vinnie is (or maybe i havent decided muahaha). I also thought they fit cause they both do that weird thing where they constatly have to document everything.

I thought tim eould fit Evan just cause of the whole habit arc.

Alex as Jeff was more of a fill a role thing that eventually made sense to me. I did think of making him Evan and Tim Jeff, and im still thinking of doing this, but i thought the whole finding the gf arc would fit alex more. Alex would still be one of the villains i think. Like i said this would be marble hornets told through EMH lol. I might even switch it up and assign a habit type role to Alex instead and there be two patrick characters who knows!

As you can tell im still thinking this through so maybe mext post i make about this will be more solid. if youre interested to talk about this kore with me(obv my inbox) or i have a slenderverse discord i made with my friend heh tik tok smug emoji. come join if youre looking for more slenderverse friends(and if youre interested in darkharvest and mla especially cause i need more people to talk about that to 😭😭)

[thesillyvivi]

i made a post asking if u guys would like my oc being a failed eva/trish thingy (would it be eva or trish i still dont know) and i think yall did and i did say if enough people liked it i would make a post going a bit more into it. yeah. something like that. anyway this is thay post

be warned this is one of the few times ive decided to write out oc lore n stuaff so it migjt be a little sloppy. a bit bad. im not a professional at this sort of thing. we ball

ok yap time

so the whole idea was that Liniyal (the dmc oc in question) was like. a proto trish i guess u could say???? that eventually escapes mallet island and tries to live a normal life. or as normal as she can all things considered

how she escapes i havent really figured out yet. i think during the collapse would make tje most sene but thats as far as that goes. i heard that trish and dante got there by boat so maybe she made her own little makeshift boat and skedaddled??? who knows. but she Gets Out

the only reason why mundus even keeps her long enough that she manages to escape is that he wanted to punish her failure (even if technically he was the one that failed) by keeping her locked up and showing her what she couldve been and what she couldve done when he finally creates the perfect one aka trish. its like when a parent says "you should/could be more like (person)" but way worse if that makes sense

so then dmc1 happens and all the while liniyal is like somewhere just kinda trapped and then mundus is defeated and shes able to be set free since his magic stuff was beung used to keep her locked up and since hes like gone? probably? it would kinda just disappear. you know??.????

so yada yada she escapes and arrives to main land and the immediate first thing she wants to do is remove or cover anything that reminds her of what she is. basically starting a new life or at least trying to

its like a V situation where she has to go around stealing stuff and hunting demons 4 food (since i think he does that in vov) at first she probably has the mosy horrendous fashion taste but for like 95% of her life she WAS naked so u cant blame her too much. she does get better eventually i hopr

ive yet to decide whether or not i want to give her a buddy who like helps her w everythinf because while i do think it would be nice idk if id want to make it a canon character and if not that would mean id have to make up a whole new character and i just Dont Know how to go about that. maybe i can jusg say there was some guy and you can put your own interpetations on em if u wanted

also still thinkimg about when she would actually appear in "canon" either during dmc4 or dmc5. not sure when in dmc4 but for 5 i thought about maybe her firsy appearence would be in the far background when nero is fightinf (checks notes) artemis kinda like how in the one dmc4 cutscene you can see dante just chilling while neros kicking ass

and then her like meeting appearence if that also makes sense would be when V or nero come across a later boss (still on surface or when v is in the queen empusa area) and she gets like whacked so one of em decides they gotta like help??? and soon enough she'll be bavk on her feet and syart fighting alongside em and be like a companion. dont know where to go after that though

i 100% do think that if she were to ever meet trish it would be AWKWARD. even if trish wouldnt know her (another thing i havent decided on. that comes up a lot in here) she would know trish and just feel all weird aroun her because. You Know

and i think? thats all i can think off the top of my head????? it is fsirly late when im writing this so idk i might be too tired to remember anything else that would be important

i hope this isnt a let down like i said im not very good this sort of thing. at some point i think im gonna make a ref that has liniyal, trish, and eva to likr compare them and see how liniyal was considered a failure. and thrn also her weapon and yada yada

if anyone has any suggestions or questions or corrections u wanna make feel free to reblog or senf me an ask i am open to Everything

okauy. goodnight

[mayo-wap]

Please don’t think I’m weird ☝️🥲 How did howdy and Marri confess feelings for each other? Like, if I tried to confess my feelings to someone I would die✨😔

GAH I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!

all though i dont have it all quite figured out just yet im more than happy to express what i do have for sure on how they confessed to each other!

——————

Marri was the one to confess first! WITHOUT A DOUBT but it didn’t go how she wanted-

let say it was a cold night were she hang out with howdy till his shop closed, as they are outside finally locking up for the night marri cant help to admire his blabbering about god knows what (his family? his shop? whatever it maybe) so mesmerized that she suddenly blurts out her thought with a sudden “i love you” completely out of nowhere! SHE ACCIDENTALLY SAID IT OUT LOUD😭 the silence was fell between them as marri now slapping her hand over her mouth from what she just said now profusely apologizing with “oh sweet sainte marie! im so sorry i-i didnt—well i- i- just-!”

now its really up to howdy how he will take that confession, will he accept that fact that he loves her and that the feeling is mutual? will he reject her? or maybe he might even interpret wrong but thinking ‘i love you’ as a friend.

STILL HAVENT GOTTEN TO THAT!!

on the topic of them i actually have fanfic sorta written out about them! if you wanna check it out 💙

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTION GOOBER !!!

[gilbirda]

Hello again! I've actually written the down some of my "Jason and the Spraypaint 'Thief'" idea tho its mostly scaffolding and i dont feel ready to share it just yet, but progress is being made!

If I may ask for your advice once more, the story has begun leaning towards Anger Management vibes (thanks for that brainrot too (affectionate)), but i dont feel great that the genesis of Jason and Jazz meeting is after Jason basically stalks Jazz in his hunt for whoever is buying his spraypaint before he can. Like, she is the one buying the paint, but the dynamic feels too onesided atm in terms of agency, but idk what Jazz would be doing that could parallel Jason.

The best Ive got is she tried to find out who bought out the yarn she was knitting with (it was Jason being petty), but I dont think she'd care as much as Jason does with the paint and it also feels too samey.

...Just had this thought while writing this, would it vibe with Jazz's character if she kept tabs on the Batfam for Danny? Like in terms of location. Ive got it that Danny dosnt want anything to do with the Batfam atm, Gothem is their turf fighting-wise and he dosnt want to encroach on that (tho he does help people in need when he comes across them), he just wants to make cool art in weird places (and maybe some ghost king stuff, not sure on that just yet) (maybe as a coping mechanism bc I do like the angst that comes from 'Danny leaves Amity bc the Fentons reactly badly to him being a halfa', tho still not sure how he gets into spraypaint yet, that feels like an important detail), so Jazz keeps tabs on their patrols for Danny so he can spraypaint without drawing their attention, and then Jazz notices Red Hood acting a bit odd and does her own investigating to make sure its not ghost business (she would know that RH has ghost vibes from Danny and his current spraypaint investigating behaviour maybe looks like a ghost obsession without context), and maybe she ends up pulling a Tim and figures out Red Hood is Jason, just due to ghost vibes instead of acrobatics.

I havent even gotten to them actually meeting in my planning yey, its just discovery eachother from afar and general thoughts of 'thats the person Im looking for, they're kinda cute' so far. Current vauge idea is they meet in a fight, tho i might be biased bc i did recently reread 'cant help falling (in love with you)' (i think i said this before, but amazing story btw, eagerly waiting for the next chapter!)

I hope this makes sense. This is the first time I've had an idea I've wanted to share with other fandom people and felt comfy enough to do so.

(your ask got sent twice so im gonna answer one and delete the other. Just Tumblr things I guess)

SO

I see Anger Management and go feral

I see what you mean about there being a power imbalance in their meeting situation - but we have to be aware that the source material is like that. Jason is a crime fighter and a vigilante and also a very extra boy. He is petty and arrogant and sometimes he is not above using his skills for personal use.

You can make it so she knows what's going on and leads him in a wild goose chase just for funsies. Make Jazz petty as well. Make her highly competent. Make her win in his own game and boom, no more power imbalance. (Also that can be a cool "I need to know more of this woman" kind of situation.)

Another alternative, is making her think he is stalking her for unsavory purposes and beat the shit out of him.

I like what you said about Jazz being the one that keep tabs on all the vigilantes. She could have profiled them all, studied their patterns, and Tim Drake her way into memorizing their patrol routes so Danny can paint in peace.

So that's why when her new stalker starts bothering her, she is so Done(tm) that she is not afraid to gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss her way into making him stop.

How she does it? Dealer's choice.

(I'm weak to the fight approach, if it wasn't obvious (✿◡‿◡) )

(But outsmarting him could work as well.)

(Jason is into women that can kick his ass, be it physically or in smarts)

So in conclusion I think if you want to not fall into icky power imbalances and not fall into highly competent Mary Sues tropes, the sweet spot would be Jazz making the choice to take act or not, and base it on actual conflict: If she can't just beat the shit out of him, explain why. If she is not going to make a deal out of it, explain why. Make the character have agency and a choice in the matter, even if that choice is inaction.

Thank you for showing me your progress!!!! I'm so happy when people make content for the crossover and my favorite ship!!!

Also thanks for reading my fics!

🤗💖

[georgette-mademoiselle]

Sekido: you irritate me!

Georgette: and yet you havent left my room

Sekido: MY ROOM! YOUR JUST A GUEST STAYING OVER FOR GOD KNOWS WHEN YOU'LL LEAVE!

georgette: well when you put it that way now im not leaving!

Sekido: w-what!? And why the hell not!

Georgette: because my sweet, the more you shout the more youll only strain your throat the more you shout the more you yell your just increasing anxiety within you and most of all...your hearts health can barley take it.

Sekido: why do you care about my well bieng so much!? God your nurtuting instincts is INFURIATING! im a demon! None of these things matter to us anymore! So why do you insist on doing so!?

Georgette: *sigh* perhaps that's true, but still...i deeply worry that youll over do it to the point it gets in the way of your next coming battles or worse your shouting can distract the others from what there doing your a good leader ill give you that but your patience and self control needs work

Sekido: woman i am the embodiment of anger itself! It is in my nature to do so! Stop coddling me with your lecture!

Georgette: and like i said previous your still in my room.

Sekido: DONT YOU TALK BACK TO ME Y-

georgette *she puts her finger onto his lips*

Shhh...you find comfort in bieng around me right?

Sekido: i-i...

Georgette: its hard for you to be kind i get it but know that the fee instances that youve shown me ive treasured it in my memories...the rose garden...the hair admiration ...and of course *wrapping her arms around his neck* when you insisted in stayin by my side when the voices became to much to bear...your kindess has not been overshadowed my love....

Sekido: i remember...*he almost felt warmth in his heart, despite who he was there was some form of softness in him that many dont see and in rare occasions when he did it was because he deeply cared about you in a way* and despite all the foulness that comes out of my mouth you favor me out of everyone here...why?

Georgette: do i have to say it?

Sekido: .....

Georgette: because your special sekido, not only because you harber a deep softness despite your intense emotion but your also the most mature one here plus really intelligent *taps his forhead* and...*blushing almost looking away* y-your beautiful...the color red captivates me so much that i cant take my eyes of you...

Sekido: Georgie...

Georgette: long ago i knew someone with the exact hair color as mine and your eyes...he was the sweetest person ever, sometimes your frustration and stress reminds me of him whenever he couldnt figure out a spell or because his past would crept behind him

And now hes gone...but despite that...theres hope...and that hope is you bieng my next chapter.

Sekido: *all these positive words where things he wasn't used to hearing nobody dared love somone like him yet here she was completely drawn to him* i see...so im your crimson haired beauty in demon form hm?

Georgette: *bashful* hahaha kinda!

Sekido: Kinda!? Tck! What is he more beautiful than me!? Hes lucky that hes no longer with us or else i would marched in his home with the audacity! *Oops maybe he shouldnt have said that last line*

Georgette: *as horrible as that sounded she laughed* awww your jealous! Its ok sekido you and him have a very completely different beauty that makes each and both of you stand out.

Sekido: whatever! Trying to save my pride by saying hes different from me pathetic!

Georgette: ahh sekido...that was the past this is now, this new chapter is all about you and the rest of this houshold. And while im here i do mean it i want to help you control yourself i understand you cant help it at times and i cant blame you bieng a personification of an emotion must be the hardest thing ever

Sekido: oh you have no idea...

Georgette: oh i do ive been here for a couple of weeks now and trust me it feels like im in an asylum *laughs*

Sekido: *ah how true* then welcome to our insane asylum i hope you contenue enjoying your stay my crimson rose *very slightly smiles and pats her head*

Sekido: now come join us downstairs to feast.

Dividers by @/elryisia

[mentesimploria]

i’d believe Camila developed feeling for a tree but not for Shawn Mendes. lol i’ve been watching her podcasts/interview lately and i still can’t see her with a guy. also, it’s funny how she has said more than once that she has been going on lots of dates and no one knows because they’re not famous or anything, but somehow i have to believe her and Matthew were a thing when no one knew who the fuck that guy was and yet they both were papped together in a desert beach. 

_____________________________________________

i can totally see her with a guy but lauren is a tough competition with the kind of men we have today. lols. i mean lauren without make up is just so fucking handsome and pretty at the same time.. its already hard to compete with looks alone, add brain power and gentle considerate heart to that.

i havent watched everything but the very few i’ve watched is convincing me that the canadian is a good person and he admires Camila.. in what way? im not sure. people’s love and passion can be very undoubtly attractive.. and sincerity has it’s charms.

i personally think Camila would be with a guy if her memories of Lauren will all be erased. lol. I mean you would not have to go through life thinking there was actually a person that could fit you like that and you let them slip right through your fingers. 

It’s just that sometimes Lauren’s arrogance is a deal breaker. I kind of miss seeing her attunement just to check how much she’s grown.. or if she’s being careful.. or if.. idk..

there’s just goodness in darkness and there’s darkness in goodness.. the 7 heavenly virtues are as real as the 7 deadly sins.. can’t help but wonder how deep she’s dug.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i like to think Camila is for the girlies only, but if she's into men too then i guess she should date one for real, no more of this two sides promotion relationships bullshit lol what do you like about shawn mendes? i’m talking about the guy they want us to like. honestly, for me, everything about him is weird. maybe this time off is helping him figure out what kinda of person he wants to be - publicly, because what we got so far was just a made up guy. like, nothing about him sounded authentic or real. most of the times i got the feeling he was just there physically, that must’ve fucked him up a little bit. as for lauren, she used to be more “arrogant”, something i can relate a lot. i used to be like this too in my early 20s. and lauren’s case was even worse, since she wanted to talk about real things and people just wanted to talk about her looks, sexuality, guys, relationships. she’s not the kind of person who can handle being fake for the job and that’s totally fine.

[hertwood]

👀😈🧠👩‍🏭???

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

i have several fic ideas that have just petered out and i'm resigned to not finishing. it's not about not sharing them, it's about making peace with never finishing them. (i also have several fics i havent touched in months but im DETERMINED to get back to but that's a separate problem.)

one of those is, sadly, femdomverse 3 (and everything else i had planned). i have shared bits and pieces about it before, and it was going to be called "points present" bc she leaves a pair of her underwear as a ~treat~ for getting his first points ladkfjasldkfjaslkjf

i think my big problem with femdomverse was just down to teething problems. i wrote fdv1 on impulse in under 24hrs, i dont think i would've even finished fdv2 if i wasn't trapped in my appt with covid (thanks covid.) it sorta grew into a much larger idea than it started as and trying to figure out planning it out once i was already in the middle of it. i think it was a good lesson for really taking the time to think out longer projects fully before i post anything in the future.

but fdv still has such a place in my heart and its spirit lives on in my other girlfics!!!!

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

this is such an interesting question because i spend very little time thinking about this. i write what i wanna write and if yall like it thats just a bonus :P new ask game tell me things i do as a writer you find annoying??? lol i suppose one thing i do a lot is talk about fics and just not get them finished or posted in a reasonable amount of time. WHICH ANNOYS ME TOO TO BE FAIR. idk. let me know~

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

ooooooh gio for u. as a treat. i'll talk abt my sargewood fic idea. this doesn't really count as a wip yet bc i haven't written anything yet, BUT circling back to the first one, planning out longer forms fics is important for me in the writing process. i've only talked abt this with care in DMs so i guess this is its first proper public sharing.

so, it's an au where kyle never really got into racing, he and logan knew each other in carting but kyle's career petered out and he and logan fell of of touch. for logan, his career progresses as we know it irl, until he gets dropped at the end of the 2024 season and he ends up without any sort of drive, goes back to florida in a sort of career limbo. and runs into kyle again!!!!!

but!!!!! surprise!!!! kyle's a dad! (this was all thought up around this btw. i was like how do i make singledad!kyle as a concept into an actual story with substance.) kyle and a high school ex had a baby, kyle realized he was gay so they broke up, she's very very smart and got into law school or smth so she's off doing smart businesswoman shit and kyle is the primary parent who gets child support. (amicable coparenting!!! just to be clear!!!!)

so with all of logan's new free time he can spend all this time with kyle and his kid to the point where lines start to blur and he now has all this free time to unpack any feelings that might pop up. writing a chaptered fic would be so so daunting but i think it'd be a good challenge for me, i just rly need to sent aside time to rly work on outlining everything i want!

👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?

i'm not quite sure how to answer this question aldfjaslfjasldfja i'm big on. feeling morally neutral abt the fiction we all write. HOWEVER i do know that like, oscarmark is ~controversial~ and i do have this wip. that i havent touched in a while but i love the concept so much i still rly want to get back to at some point. the wip actually predates fdv and i originally was like 'oh i'll just anon post it i'm too embarassed' but now any embarassment abt the wierd shit i write is GONE lmao. i did talk abt it in the replies of this post and thats the most i've said about it before. it's really just a contrived silly little plot all just to set up oscar being fucked over the side of a boat. which is public sex technically which is also a crime. its v self indulgent its very For Me i hope i can take it out of wip purgatory someday :'(

[bfdifan26]

everything i have to say abt every burner character, my interpretations of every one as of rn because i quite literally cant wait for episode 3 so i need to distract myself. disclaimer of sorts, if you couldn’t tell, i see these guys as way more human than probably intended. like i feel as close to them as you would with say your childhood neighbours (DISCLAIMRR i was actually going to do all of them but i ended up not feeling like it. i overestimated myself for once with burner isn’t that crazy. i hope what i ended up writing is good)

-roomy

roomy to me is one of the coolest types of characters like ever. shes been completely isolated for her whole life apart from daddy long legs being close with her, and she seems to be very desperate to please people and to just do whatever is “nice”. she doesn’t necessarily want or dream of anything because she hasn’t seen anything to want. episode 2 was the first exposure to the real world she’d ever gotten. also she really likes kit and spraypaint and was referring to them when she said “all for you two to explore”

-daddy long legs

despite him being the host, i dont actually think he’s the one behind burner. i don’t think he’s the one who teleported them in. and he definitely wasn’t born in the realm! he used to have a normal life in the real world until, thanks to the same being that teleported the contestants, he got sent to the realm without warning one day, and he has been instructed to do the same to other people and make them compete against eachother, for a reason which i havent exactly gotten figured out in my head yet, and hey, maybe he isn’t entirely sure either. anyway personality wise, i think his shyness and how he gets talked over indicates that during his time in the real world, he was seen as the quiet kid, and was shunned whenever he’d try to join in a conversation, and when he got teleported this of course stayed with him, although because of the burner contestants this will slowly begin to fade the more time he spends around them. also yes i do think our cast are the first people this is happening to

-erasey

i love erasey and i am so crazy excited to see what’s going on with them as the series progresses. they used to be completely different as a person, sort of like limey or pilly. they were sent to the realm for a few minutes when they were a kid, even way before daddy long legs was, and from that point dedicated their life to figuring it out. however, during a sort of experiment of theirs that went wrong, they lost an eye and left arm, and were sort of broken by that, it was realised they’d bit off more than they could chew. that was when they became the erasey we know now, laid back and apathetic about most things. not hanger though. erasey loves hanger the way a mad scientist loves their lab rat, but in this case in the non fucked up Im Going To Torture You For Results way. lol

-playdoh

ah playdoh my least favourite one but really that doesn’t mean too much considering i love them all so dearly so i honestly love him too. he has no like psychological reason to be the way he is he’s just. a bitch. like that’s it. he expects everything from everyone around him and for him to do nothing in return for that to be deserved. the realm is his first experience where that is not the case and people are actually opposing him, hence why he’s the most hostile towards rosey and hanger. i like to think hes gonna be changed by the end of the show.

-spraypaint

although i do really like her i dont have much to say except her personality and whole demeanour interests me and i feel like she kinda grew up having to be this dangerous confident figure to even stay afloat for her family n stuff. i do not like the fact that her knife potentially is just laying around on the floor somewhere still

-tissues

oh my goodness this guy. he is my 2nd favourite! i say this about every character but i mean it the most with him when i say i am super excited to see what their whole deal is and what the extent of his powers are and why they seem to know way more than he lets on. i also just really like his personality lol. one of my favourite moments in the show so far is when record said she was warming up for the challenge and tissues thought she meant literally warming up and got all worried that she was sick. them and record remind me of simon and marcy for literally no valid reason

[arcaneprism]

Coffee Shops

Requested by: @catuskat666​

Prompts: Soulmate AU, magic coffee mug

Warnings: Mentions of food

Notes: IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I ACTUALLY STARTED WRITING IT AGES AGO BUT I GOT HIT WITH THE WORST WRITERS BLOCK - like... i literally havent written anything I could release as even a short story for years??? So I decided to like... bullet point hcs (my thoughts may wander and be incoherent im so sorry) instead or else this will never see the light of day. I will leave the few lines I’ve written at the bottom tho!! 

———————————————————————————————————

So most people have soulmate marks that make it easy to find who their soulmate is. It could be an odd mark but once you knew who it was referring to then it’s pretty obvious.

Okay some people had rather unfortunate marks because of this (Claire had the trollhunters amulet in a pan poor girl) but he’d still say they got lucky

Douxie got a fucking coffee mug

He worked in a coffee shop constantly surrounded by people who are addicted to and reliant to coffee how on Earth was he supposed to rely on a coffee cup to figure out who his soulmate was???

Okay well, he knew that they were magic at least.

His soul mark was on his left forearm and it spends most of its time under Douxie’s magic bracelet thing and his hoodie sleeve. It was a magic wand pouring coffee into a mug with magic sparkles surrounding it. the mug had a ribbon banner type of decor around it that said something Douxie couldn’t fully make out. All he could read of it was ‘- alive because of coffee -’ and ‘-ally die’. 

(Pardon the sketchiness i kinda just doodled it like 5 minutes ago)

Once again, Douxie did not find this information helpful. Arcadia was filled with magical creatures - trolls, aliens, wizards and witches, it was literally magic central and again !!! He works !!! in a coffee shop !!! surrounded by caffeine addicts !!!

When asked, Douxie would probably shrug it off - he’d been alive 900 years after all, if he was going to meet his soulmate, he’d probably have done it by now. (Especially now that, y’know, he worked where their source of life can easily be found - no he wasn’t salty at all that he’s not met them, what made you think that?)

It would be nice to meet them though. He would love the intimacy and understanding people with soulmates seemed to experience. Platonic or romantic, it didn’t matter. He’d love having a lifelong friend he could bare his soul to. 

If he was being honest, the reason he craved meeting his soulmate so much is probably his lack of a support system?? He had Archie and Zoe and made various friends over the years sure but Archie wasn’t human and he didn’t always get it and Zoe had her own life and her own issues and both of them often needed space from each other (900 years of constantly being around the same person does get quite suffocating) and his other friends were mortal so... that wasn’t great. What he build proved to be a sufficient support system over the years but a sufficient support system doesn’t make for an ideal one and yeah, he’d like something more stable

Whatever ROT alternative happened, Douxie went to Metrocity or somewhere and came back to Arcadia after.

(I like the thought that he probably bumped into his soulmate at Metrocity honestly??? They were probably holidaying or lived there or something idk but the universe dictated that it was not yet time for them to meet so no significant conversation happened and definitely nothing coffee related they probably just passed by each other or something)

Back at Arcadia, Douxie went back to working at the coffee shop

Everything was settled, his family has grown, he felt at peace. Soulmate existing or not, he was happy with the support system he finally built. He was happy.

Then one day someone walked into the shop speaking into their phone.

“Okay, I’m at the coffee shop now.” “Oh come on, you know me. I’m literally only alive because of coffee. I need it. Without it, I’d literally die.”

The words they spoke felt familiar but he wasn’t quite sure where he’d heard them before.

He took their order and didn’t notice them staring at the skull necklace around his neck as they spoke.

He made their order, not realising that he had grabbed one of the takeaway cups with a ribbon decal around it.

When he passed them their order, their fingers brushed and Douxie could feel the small distinctive tingle of magic on their fingertips.

When he looked up, he saw their soulmate mark on their shoulder and stopped.

The customer furrowed their brows then asked if he played guitar and oh

Oh, this was them.

He’d finally found them.

I imagine his soulmate’s mark to be something somewhat like the doodle above? A guitar with a skull on it surrounded by wisps of magic.

But okay yeah that’s pretty much all I had in mind for this there’s a bit of prose under the picture underneath but as you can see I was... struggling for coherency akjefsajdn

Douxie had the stupidest soulmate mark, he decided.

Some people had soulmate marks that were clear and told them who their soulmate were. Jim had a skull on top of the shadow staff made out of roses and Claire had the trollhunter’s amulet on top of a frying pan - which looked kind of weird but it was clear. They could tell who their soulmates were. They knew.

Douxie had a goddamned coffee mug. A COFFEE MUG!! HE WORKS IN A COFFEE SHOP HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE HELPFUL!?!?!?

If he’s only worked in

[raid3r-r4bbit]

someone broke into my apartment. I havent been on because the only thing i have that i can access the internet on is my work computer ( i can get into trouble for using even spotify on that) and my switch ( just got it last monday. in another situation id be ecstatic about getting a new game system, but right now im just glad i didnt leave it out in the open)

Firstly, sorry if the formatting weird, im not used to my new phone yet.

Secondly im sorry for the people who wanted drawings from me, im gonna try my best to recreate them and post them.

Thirdly, this is really fucking long, tldr, someone broke it, let one of my cats out stole my tablet, phone, and a bunch of my games so thats why i was gone. read for details? I guess? I wouldnt lol.

also fuck you theres typos, of course theres gonna be typos.

SO…

small town does not equal no crime. After the (insert wherever the power comes from) was fixed, it has some issues and shut down again a few days later. idk why. My rm and i decided to walk to the gas station for lunch, they had power, music, cold drinks and food, and bathrooms that have functioning lights. Our landlord said it would only be a few hours, so we used our backup battery packs ( yes the ones we’re only supposed to use for work or incase of emergency) to power a fan and opened a window (the little net thing closed) for the cats and left.

because we were only going to be away for an hour, i left my phone (by accident) and tablet on the couch. in plain view of the window.

well, we have a lot of college students who walk directly by out porch ( i even had a girl threaten to call the cops on me for smoking… on my own fuckin porch) and two other girls who decided it was public chatting place and were upset that interupted them wheni asked them to leave.)

we dont know if it was a college student, or someone else, called the cops and got it all sorted there wasnt much they could do ( figures)

they came in through the window, and we think they either left it open, or that Patches, one of my cats, got out when the opened it, because she was gone when we came home, and she liked to hang out by the window. Thankfully, miso hates going outside, and katsu is scared of everyone and hides when people come over. we still havent found patches. im not worried about her, she didnt really like us, she isnt declawed, and she was orginally an outdoor cat anyways. we left out food and water and liter for her, but if she comes back she comes back. ive lost enough animals not fret over it. (tbh if it was on of the other two id probably sob)

but whoever broke in stole a bunch of my game stuff. we dont think they even went into out bedrooms, cause nothing was out of place. it took me realizing some of out stuff, the cat and the askew window (what the fuck is that thing called??) to realize we’d been robbed. ( well me actually, my roomate keeps all his stuff in his room which is fair because other than HBO i pay for all the streaming services, and i (thankfully still have) 4 consoles, which wont fit in my tiny ass room.)

they took my phone and tablet. (not worried about the phone, it was some dinky burner phone) a package off our porch ( it was mario kart, i got a switch like last monday, and the only game i have is animal crossing. very fun. thankfully, id left it on my desk.) they also took a few of my games, thankfully i have duplicates of most of the ones they took and digital copies.

ironically, the version of TLOU and FO4 (i have 4 copies of fo4 including the digital copy) were the scratched up versions, they did take my copy of infamous for the ps3. and they also took my unopened copy of RDR2. so like, pricey items but the only thing im upset about are my tablet and my cat.

for those wanting the drawings i promised, i will still get them to you, thankfully i had a warranty on it and its getting replaced after the police finish whatever it is they say they do. ( doubtful) so it may take a hot minute.

however it also means i have to completely restart my issue 2 of my comic, as i hadn't saved the final pages and the wips anywhere other than my phone and tablet. personally, im frustrated, but it gives me a chance to change a few wee details and try out a style ive been thinking on.

so im probably not going to be super super active for the next few (idk how long, im sorry) but i will draw what i said i would.

As for patches, i told my mom if she comes back pregnant ( again -_-) that we are going to yeet her into a rocket to live with the martians, and get a new cat. (or if she doesnt come back. we work best with a three cat ratio) if its boy we are probably going to name him garbanzo. (this is mostly a joke, but she was intended to be temporary as a friend of mine couldnt keep her anymore and we had been looking for a home for her. surprisingly, nobody wanted a super chill calico who enjoyed nothing but food and sitting directly on your trachea.)

anyways, im tired. ill be patiently waiting for my new tablet and trying to make my ACNH island as destroyed and apocalyptic as possible. (new squared? i got the other one for my birthday last year, so its been almost a year exactly. my birthdays on the 28th <_< >_> if anyones interested in knowing.)

sorry if this is a ramble. im high af and somewhere in between pissed off, depressed, and overly happy about tiny little animals and bells.

[thatbitchsimone]

I also love Angelica and think she's so great - there's another video on her youtube where she says people should only lose their virginity in their 20's - what do you think about this? I agree with her sentiment to an extent and I do think as a woman I was put into many situations that make me feel used now and I am sure this can negatively affect men as well.. I just kind of felt ashamed/worried after watching the video because she said that having sex very young can negatively set you up for life and I agree to an extent but I think there's more nuance to it than a 20 minute youtube video can express.. And also I think the problem more with me is I didn't know to express my boundaries or communicate and people took advantage of that sometimes.. and just how women are socialised etc etc

i was just gonna watch that video but it looks like shes deleted all of those videos (which sucks ass bc she had an amazing video about the tumblr nymphet community and its parallels to nambla and how it has negatively affected us that got seduced by that little subculture back in the mid 2010s) so unfortunately i cant answer this properly bc i dont have the full context and i dont have her arguments etc but i can still give some of my immidiate thoughts on it so here we go

i think losing ur virginity/wait with sex until ur in ur 20s is probably ideal tbh and i would absolutely encourage it for anyone who is in their teens rn and havent had their sexual debut yet. main reason being that u will be old enough to understand sex and its risks and effects and u will have had time to figure ur own body out more and u will most likely have at the very least basic level emotional intelligence and maturity that is required to have safe and healthy and enjoyable sex. like u have just finished puberty and just left teenagehood behind which is a messy and confusing and rough lifestage for all of us and ur now entering adulthood and have gained some perspective etc and u are way more in tune with urself (at the very least compared to when u were a teen) and both ur body and brain will be developed enough to be able to handle sex and have a realistic attitude around it and while ofc u can still be manipulated and u may still be somewhat naive it wont be anywhere near AS easy to manipulate u as it would have been earlier bc thats just how it is. u might still be vulnerable maybe sure but if ur vulnerable now u were even MORE vulnerable when u were a teen. its just how it is. thats how growing up works. u will probably have a way easier and more enjoyable sexual debut in ur 20s bc u will have a headstart in so many ways both physically and emotionally.

BUT im not gonna pretend like its that black and white and simple. Many girls (and boys but im focusing on women here) have perfectly normal and healthy sexual encounters when they are teenagers and i rly dont believe that sex will just automatically traumatize and harm u when ur a teen bc lets be real here, the key here is that u explore sex with UR PEERS, boys and girls within ur own age group, NOT ppl that are 20+ when u are like 14-16. when ur a high schooler and u want to explore sex u do it with other high schoolers. ppl ur own age. I think its perfectly fine and normal to have sex when ur a teen, but that is assuming u are having sex with other teens. NOT ppl that are like 5 years older than u. thats when actual impactful long lasting harm becomes highly likely. feeling like u got used and heartbroken by a boy in ur school aka a boy that is ur peer and ur own age will hurt and suck and will leave an impact on u but its a very different impact than the one u will be left with if u felt taken advantaged of by someone much older (not a teen). the dynamics are whats important here i think.

sex and relationships are messy and yes u can always get fucked up from it thats just how it is. u cant avoid it. u just need to be able to handle it and maybe ur not ready to handle it until ur like 25, thats fine. dont do it then. like if u dont think ur ready, just wait until u are. if ur like 15 and feel ready then go ahead but STICK TO PPL UR OWN AGE when ur that young. u gotta be equals. period.

[kieairakitty]

June 8th - Frustration

Frustrated is my feeling for the day.

I am disappointed that Daddy and Sissy have pretty much given up on quitting smoking already. I am frustrated that Sissy constantly doesn’t follow the rules, I feel like I am the one that is being the Domme but I am having to do it through Daddy.

I have been questioned myself a lot lately. Perhaps I am not a submissive, perhaps I am a switch. Should I let loose my Mistress side? Domme Lea but be dommed by Daddy? How would I even bring that up, and how would that dynamic even work? (side note - because I feel like I want sissy and daddy to read this - this is nothing set I just need to get my thoughts out of my head)

I feel like I could be a Mistress again (I used to do it all the time in RP) Anarane was a Switch, she dommed many people, but only the truly strong males could dom her ... and it was pretty hot. Their hand wrapping around her throat and forcing her to submit .... mmph.... just remembering it makes me tingle.

(Might have to make a seperate post for Daddy and Sissy to read and leave out the trip down memory lane lol)

I am also frustrated because I feel like Daddy needs to be a stronger dom, but Im not sure if he can be. He is a sweet, soft, caring Daddy - which don’t get me wrong I love - but sometimes I want more, and sometimes I feel like Lea needs more. I don’t want to force Daddy into being something he is not. So I have also contemplated perhaps seeking out another more Dominate Dom to join our family .... not that I ever would without talking to everyone first, but it is a thought that crosses my mind quite often.

I havent been feeling very little lately, and I miss having my little days ... that is something I dont ever want to give up, but if Im going to have to take control and be the one who decides on discipline, pain or pleasure, then lets just do that.

For starters, I’d limit them both to 4 smokes a day and if they use them all up early. Too bad, deal with it until the next day and try to ration it better. Or I’d st certain times, you get one when you wake up. One more around lunch, one in the afternoon and one after dinner. Not only would it help their health, it would save us all money - which we are all rather short on. It makes me feel guilty about going out for dinner, when I know were struggling and going to be out of money again come Monday and just barely hanging on until my payday.

As it is, I did a cash advance for Ottawa, paid it back then borrowed again because I didnt have any cash left. And will probably have to do it again this pay. Hoping come the first when I get my double pay I can pay it off and then leave it alone.

Sissy is even worse off, she’s living off her overdraft, which is causing friction in her and Kirstens relationship, and I was rather annoyed when Daddy said she could buy some toys at Walmart. Managed to convince her to buy something that was more useful and less money at least, but she was rather mad when I took her toys and said not unless daddy says .... and then he goes and says yes.

I feel like I have to remind him to check in on Sissy, to make sure she’s wearing her glasses, or drinking water (which I dont think she has done in days) yet he doesnt really check in with me and there is no one to remind him that I need help too. 

Perhaps our dynamic should shift. I need a Master, I would then be a MIstress to Lea ... but would still be Daddys girl and Sissy would be daddys brat. I dunno, Im just trying to figure everything out.

Im also frustrated with the pets. I hate that Loki is always in my face. His humping the bed bothers me as does his gross penis. I dunno it just makes me uncomfortable. I am not a dog person by any means, and Id never ask sissy to give up her dog, I hate that Boba and Loki dont get along, but I also like that hes not in the living room and constantly in my face. I feel like if he was, I’d end up sequestering myself to the bedroom a lot, just to be away from him and with my kitties. Dogs are fun once in a while, but Im not a huge fan of living with one. *This part I would never tell Lea though, as I know it would really upset her*

I am worried about when Kirsten comes to live here. The way Lea gets annoyed with her antics makes me upset, I still feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable around her, especially when we are alone. And even on the Ottawa trip I foud myself saying “Shut up” In my head when she would start going on about certain things, and just wanting to get away from her. She tries to get it on the play time and it seems to only bother Lea, which in turn bothers me, but also makes me feel bad that Kirsten is often left out. 

I love Lea, and I love having her here, but every once in a while I wonder .... did we jump into this too fast? If it was just Lea, no dog, no Kirsten, I feel like things would be fine - we could just deal with the Dominance issue, but it’s not and I need to find a way to deal with everything all at once.

*Slight side note - Im annoyed that Sissy stays up all night and then naps all day. I again feel like this is something Daddy needs to address as her Dom, but I get tired of being the one to have to point these things out.

Think I got enough off my mind to have a nap before I have to go to my doctors appointment - another thing that annoys me - why am I always the one that has to sleep on the couch? I was looking forward to having the bed to myself for a bit after Daddy left for work but she came in right away and I was frustrated so I ended up just getting up - took care of my cats and her dog because of course she went to bed late so shes sleeping through his whining. I think this family really needs to figure out a routine.

[lovphobic]

10 13 20 26 38 and 49 for all of them, or if not, whoever you want to yell about most (^:<

SO MANY!! (explodes)

10. What kind of jokes make them laugh?

sildraste: in my head i imagine her as a very stoic person. closed off and reserved. no vulnerability. but thats not... necessarily true? she'd probably like.. jokes that dont really make a great deal of sense, or jokes we think are absurd. think feeding the donkey a fig and washing it down with wine :') - thalya: she is VERY pure of heart. and very childish. almost every good natured joke will make her laugh. knock knock. whos there. owls. owls who. yes they do. (loud, from the heart laughter. knee slapping) - morant: it is SO hard to make her laugh. it has to be a GENUINELY funny, original joke. she takes herself too seriously sometimes - valdys: she'll laugh at someone tripping on the sidewalk (not out of meanness) and also "deez nuts". she's like.. the other side of thalya in a way. except shes more immature than childish LMAO

13: Describe your character's typical wardrobe for the regular day

OK so i am NOT great at describing clothes myself, so this is going to be very image heavy

sildraste: i have been workshopping her outfit for two years now.. and i still dont really know. im kind of tinkering w the idea of her being more feminine presenting? not sure how i feel about it just yet bc, as i said, i cant facking think of outfit ideas. anyways, that being said: outside of the Usual Dnd Chaos And Battle, like.. After her story is said and done. i guess i could see her in something like this for sure. DURING her story.. i hope u do not mind me not using my entire brain for this one question and instead using an existing picture... but something like this maybe! - thalya: pre sildraste it was something like this for sure, just replace the skirt for whatever the dnd equivalent of jeans would be LMAO. but post sildraste i can imagine it as something like this. i can definitely see her reverting to pre after everything is said and done though :^) - morant: you know, for a character that is pretty much my self insert.. my mary sue... she does not dress like me at all! shes very dark colors, slacks and long jackets/cloaks. think this and this. i hate to say it but shes definitely d*rk ac*dem*a. - valdys: MODERN 70s!!!!!! COLORS. BELL BOTTOMS. FLARE SLEEVES. LIKE THIS!!!! she is the only one i know FOR SURE. shes definitely modern, like what we'd wear today. but w the SPICE and FUN of the 70s

20: Does your character have a comfort item?

sildraste: oh you KNOW its thalya's necklace. as destructive as it is (which she doesnt. like. Know.) its definitely her comfort item - thalya: i think either she doesnt have one, or she is a bit too new for me to have figured an answer out! so, right now, she does not! - morant: dagger :) i havent figured out the importance yet, but its there - valdys: in direct mirrorage of morant.. there is ZERO importance at all to her item. she just thinks its neat and it brings her happiness. her chicken plushie. i imagine it looking something like this. this answer may change in the future but it is what it is for now!

26: Are they an animal person? Do they have pets?

sildraste and morant i wouldnt say are animal people. they Like animals, but i cant see them owning one. i could only see them owning a pet if its co-owned with their respective partner

thalya is DEFINITELY an animal person. she may have been a jeweler's apprentice but she also spent a fair bit of time with the farm animals of the town, helping out and being a general ray of sunshine always. no pets though, currently - valdys would have a cat 100%. one of those stupidly fluffy white ones that shed like a motherfucker. this cat. specifically.

38: How does your character unwind after a long day?

sildraste: ngl she probably gets wasted. it is what it is. always been like that. get her some therapy - thalya: quite the opposite. probably takes a nice bath. rose petals if the day was especially long/hard. - morant: she doesnt. she just goes to bed - valdys: most of her "long" days come from her mothers bullshit. she makes little imaginary vlogs for her imaginary audience alone in her room which 100% consist of what would be called trauma dumping. JGHDKJGHDK

49: What is your character's biggest fear? Most irrational?

sildraste: funny that. its losing thalya. LOL. shes a very rational person for the most part though. despite everything - thalya: she definitely has fears.. but how do you in sound mind have fears when you were this close to being dead. in comparison that makes whatever fear(s) she has seem so infinitesimal. her most irrational though is probably just.. being hated. nobody hates her. shes not a hateable person. which in itself is... something to think about. how can a person have Nothing to dislike. what are you hiding. what are you compensating for. - morant: dying <3 but i think valdys is her irrational fear FKJSDHFJKSAHFUIASHJFKSDH. morant "HATES" her and thinks valdys also hates her. but valdys is stupid pining. morant though. thinks she is plotting to murder her in her sleep. there is miscommunication here unfortunately. she is stupid - valdys: shes pretty fearless i wont lie. but the answer would probably be being misunderstood. she doesnt always come off on the right foot. but shes earnest. her irrational fear though..

ok i cant think of anything. so sorry. but i got to the end and this is the only one i said "hard give up" on. so please applaud me

[xreallyanythingx]

First adult heartbreak

I stopped dating for almost 2 years basically after I came out due to a few important reasons. For one thing even though i did come out, i am fully aware i have not accepted myself in my own head about being gay. I still have homophobic thoughts and feel uncomfortable discussing the topic. Second, I cannot date while I live with my parents because that would mean bare minimum to my girlfriend and not treating her as she deserves. Third, i am not in a career and financial position where i see myself having time for a partner. All those reasons however do not make loneliness and human needs go away lol.

Fast forward to this past August, i met a beautiful wonderful girl on hinge. I was in the mindset of keeping things casual with whoever I met but things felt different with her. I have this mindset of if i meet someone i truly like and see a future with then the reasons i mentioned before would not matter and i would be serious about a relationship. When I took this girl on our first date, the second i laid eyes on her i got the feeling of “i will do absolutely anything and everything it takes to keep this woman in my life.” That date will forever be memorable to me because it was the first time i was in public with a romantic interest where i did not feel self conscious or embarrassed about. I did not care if everyone knew i was gay, fuck atp i wanted everyone to know i was on a date with such an amazing woman. I never felt that way before. We connected so well, she really as someone i saw a whole future with. For the next few weeks, i was another person imo. I was a happier, healthier, kinder, etc. I wanted to go above and beyond. I was truly understanding what people felt when they talk about love. I was excited. Then of course idk what happened. I perhaps allowed my anxious attachment habits crawl out and perhaps i overwhelmed her? I may have said something incredibly stupid. I may have given her the ick. I may have taken things too slow? I may have disrespected her? Maybe the whole time she was expecting something else? Maybe she really just didnt feel it anymore? Idk. Something happened and things stopped.

It’s been two months now since she ended things. I’ll be honest, i havent exaclty gotten over it… i am definitely doing better than the first 2 weeks but every day consists of thinking about her, checking up on her, reminiscing our conversations and trying to figure out what went wrong. I have talked about this a lot with myself and with my friends. I’m honestly just tired of these thoughts i have, even writing this post is dreadful because i dont want to talk or think about it anymore. Yet i find myself thinking about her almost every fucking minute im awake. Im tired of it.

I have came to my conclusions to this whole situation after 2 months. I do not regret meeting her because she showed me how much love i am capable of giving when i truly like someone. I have standards of who i should date and what i am capable of receiving. I will never ever let someone into my life that easily ever again no matter how sweet they seem to be (love bombing fucked me over lmao). I have said my peace (i literally told her how i felt and she still chose to leave) and therefore it is her decision to come back or not. We meet other people depending on where we ourselves are in life. Therefore i know i will meet someone better suited for me as i enter a new chapter in my life (aka moving out lol). I do not believe in soulmates, there are simply people that are very compatible with us and it is up to us to choose who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. I am proud to say I am who I am because of myself. Although she broke my heart, everything i built for myself was due to me and therefore i can rebuild myself again and better without her. All she did was uncover parts of myself i didnt know i had but regardless it was already there. Life was great before her and now life will be better without her.

I miss her dearly but ya me conozco tambien, i get over shit so i just have to actively put energy into myself again and allow time to do its thing. Its funny though because i feel like once I am over this situation, a part of me feels like its been permanently broken/tainted. When i have the moments where i feel okay, i still feel this cloud over me, a constant guard i have up. I dont know how to describe it but essentially i dont think i’ll ever be the same exact kind of happy i was before i met her. I’ll most definitely be happy again but never the same. I dont think thats a bad thing but its definitely interesting to think about.

24.