#i know i expect 0 notes but it still hurts LMAO

[starlit-dreaming]

[ch4] élémentaire

Fandom: MLB Ship: Eventual Felinette, MarcNath & Chlogami, Past Lukanette TL;DR: HBIC Marinette + Rich Marinette + ML Salt Fic + Canon Divergence

Main Fic: élémentaire 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | [4] | 5 | 6

Side Fics: J'adore — 1/2 | 2/2

Note: ngl, this chapter kinda took my ideas and ran it through before i even realized it. i had only 2 main ideas and it ended up getting better than expected -- it even fit the theme of the chapter LMAO

4 words: karma is a bitch

ALSO I DIDNT FORGET THE TAGS THIS TIME!!!!!!!

Tags: @jjmjjktth @smolplantmum @always-on-a-sugar-high @fan-written @vixen-uchiha @fanfics-and-fangirling @marvel--unsolved @starlightshield @lady-bee-fechin @draco-kasai @weirdo-with-no-beardo @idontwannaexistsopleasekillme @blep-23

————————————————————

iv. jacinthes bleues

————————————————————

Even though they’ve been classmates for years at Dupont, Nino couldn’t really consider himself to be friends with all of them. Maybe the guys, but certainly not the girls.

So, despite how friendly Rose has always been even when they were attending Notre Dame, he didn’t actually know her well enough to feel comfortable calling her a close friend despite their shared circles. He knew nothing of her involvement in any of Marinette’s plans unless Marinette or Alix talked to him, and apart from info gathering, he couldn’t think of any other reasons on how she factored into Marinette’s plans. An insider job, perhaps?

Rose still wore a pink ribbon, her unspoken sign of her allegiance to Marinette, so… they were in the same boat. They both fell for Lila’s lies and were trying to make it up to Marinette. Rose was a much better actress than he ever realized.

“What a screwed up situation we’re in, huh?” Nino asked wryly, leaning back into his seat. They were both in the library, working on their assigned project for their history class in the peace and quiet.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rose said with a smile, though her eyes narrowed at him. “If anything, it’s a minor setback.”

“If that’s how you wanna call it…” he frowned, trailing off as he looked at the textbook. “Y’know, there’s no shame in admitting—”

“We are both in very different situations, Nino,” Rose sharply stated in a sweet tone of voice. “You let yourself be fooled. I let myself be complacent. There’s a difference.”

He didn’t get why Rose seemed so on edge, but it was probably for the best if he let the conversation drop. Out of everyone, Rose was the worst person to be stuck in an argument with, especially because she had that effect on people in making them feel as if they kicked a puppy.

It didn’t seem all that different to him, though. They were both in the same situations, just different end results.

Still, Rose was also the most observant person in their group who could easily pick up on a wide range of information, and her grudges were long-lasting. He’s not gonna argue about technicalities.

“You’re slouching,” Rose started frowning.

“I know,” he awkwardly admits.

“You can’t avoid it forever,” she gently said.

“I know, Rose.”

At this, she sighed, “If you don’t do anything about it, I will.”

It wasn’t a threat; it was a promise.

He doesn’t say anything in response to that, because he knows. Everyone is doing their part, no matter how hard it might be, and he’s been stalling.

But what he’s about to do is going to hurt either way.

His relationship with Alya is on the line — if she doesn’t believe him then… they might break up. He knows that the likelihood of their relationship surviving into adulthood is pretty slim, but he doesn’t want to lose her over a liar, he knows that much. If he says nothing, he’s letting her be manipulated; if he says something, it’s over even if he doesn’t want them to be. The only possibility of it going great is if Alya hears him out, which is definitely going to be a 50-50 chance.

And if Adrien doesn’t believe him, he might go crazy, but it’d be bearable — Adrien and Lila kinda have a thing going on. Adrien’s already pretty clueless about a ton of stuff, even more so when it comes to girls flirting with him, but with how he lets Lila hang off of him all the time, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was blinded from infatuation.

“If I were you, I would talk to Alya first,” Rose smiled sweetly. He’s not sure if it’s genuine kindness or if it’s part of her own plans, because it’s Nino’s problem to begin with, but it’s good advice nevertheless. “It’ll be easier to convince Adrien, but harder with Alya. If you do end up arguing or breaking up over this, then she’ll have time to come around and apologize.”

Adrien would be easier to convince.

As much as he thinks his feelings for Alya might be tipping into love, his girlfriend’s got a short temper and he can’t deny it. She was easy to rile up, and it does get hard to communicate with her when she’s adamant about being right.

“…yeah, you’re right. Thanks, dudette.”

—————————— 

“For the record, this is a terrible idea.”

Alix knew that her words would do nothing to deter Marinette from seeing this meeting through to the end, but she has always been her right-hand man and stating the obvious is her job. Honest to a fault, some might say, but frankly that’s the way Marinette prefers it. Despite their past disagreements, it will always remain the same.

Despite what happens, Marinette leads, and Alix follows.

“Oh, believe me,” she dryly chuckles, shooting Alix an amused look. Alix didn’t see why this was so amusing to Marinette, but maybe her suffering was the funny thing here. “I know it is.”

Standing tall before them was a very familiar building — a rather sizable hotel. It was overly fancy and had long since lost its charm, and yet it was the only place that Dupont could get a free field trip at on short notice: Le Grand Paris.

Despite knowing that it’ll be far from pleasant, it was necessary. There was no set precedent when it came to disbanding a faction and rebuilding it in later years, but this felt like a matter of formalities.

It was during the faction meeting that Marinette disbanded Méticuleuse, and so she herself needed to correct her past action — even if it never really stopped her followers from still following her unofficial guidelines.

The first step of doing so was holding a faction meeting, and that required a proper apology to Chloé Bourgeois (yeah, the irony of this fact wasn’t lost on Alix — Mme Bustier has consistently been badgering Marinette to apologize to Chloé despite being innocent, and here she was, doing exactly what Mme Bustier would be ecstatic to hear). Before they could move forward, they all probably need to air out their grievances, which was going to be the worst.

At least it was only Chloé who was going to be complaining.

(Félix technically needed to be there as well, but he was a special case considering that he isn’t attending Dupont and wasn’t even in France to begin with.)

So, apart from Marinette and Alix, it was just Chloé and Sabrina, and Claude Sainté-Pierre who was acting as Félix’s proxy (as he always did) who would be in attendance.

‘She’s going to be insufferable,’ Alix sighed, already feeling slightly irritated at the thought. “Would it be too late to ask you to swap me out with Rose for the meeting?”

“Absolutely,” Marinette smiled serenely, looking at Alix with a clear statement of “you’re not getting out of this that easily” — which, fair. Alix knew what she was getting into when she agreed to remain as her second. “Besides, Rose has more pressing matters to attend to from what I’m aware of, while you just have your daily bets and competitions with Kim. Ondine can easily help you get out of that by asking to spend more time with him.”

Ah. An unexpected bonus. That was also the reason why Kim didn’t seem to complain too much when Alix told him she had to bail on their race for the day, if Alix put two and two together.

Alix knew that Ondine was popular and reliable, and they both get along well enough (and Alix can say for certain that Ondine’s too good for Kim), but she never really stopped to think of her beyond that. Kim and Ondine were still in that phase of figuring out their maybe-relationship, so Alix did actively try to avoid thinking of Ondine more often than not purely because she wanted nothing to do with that.

‘It sure is convenient that Kim’s definite-girlfriend is in our group,’ Alix nodded. ‘I’m tired of all his demands for a rematch.’

“We should probably go in now,” Marinette sighed, sealing Alix’s fate for the next few hours.

‘On second thought… never mind.’

—————————— 

‘I would do anything to get out of this,’ Claude Sainté-Pierre thought, a fake smile plastered on his face as takes a sip of water.

They were sitting at one of the private tables of Le Grand Paris — something normally offered to celebrities and VIP guests. Chloé’s butler had assured them at the start that no classmates of theirs will be allowed to take a foot into the building before bowing and taking his leave.

The butler and the whole secret meeting was a bit much, but Claude was somewhat used to it. His parents were on the wealthy side, yet his family didn’t have a butler or anything — a regular cleaning service and security system, yes, but not their own wait staff. Allegra’s family had no qualms about employing maids and their own personal chef, and Allan’s family may have been similar to his, but Allan’s family had their own home studio and an indoor cinema.

Marinette’s probably the only one who would get it — Félix had the chance to go to her house when they were younger, and they didn’t have any hired help. At the bakery, yeah, but not within the house.

The sound of a glass cup thumping against the table brought him back to the conversation at hand.

Or rather… the lack of conversation.

They were seated at a table for six, with Claude kinda sitting across from Alix. Chloé was unfortunately next to him, while an empty chair remained on his other side. Empty seat, Claude, Chloé, Sabrina, Marinette, and Alix — the typical setup to prevent a faction leader from sitting next to another leader. It was mostly to prevent them from being fixated on the other person, since it often led to distractions.

Marinette and Chloé argued, Chloé and Félix would make snide comments against each other, while Marinette and Félix would, well… Claude’s not sure what to call it, exactly. It wasn’t flirting, but it also wasn’t really arguing or getting along.

Just talking, he supposes, which would make this meeting far less awkward.

“I believe you have something to say to me, Dupain-Cheng,” Chloé stated with sharp narrowed eyes, smiling.

Everyone knew that Chloé only stopped referring to Marinette by her first name ever since she stepped down from her position. Claude was under the impression that it would’ve changed once he heard from Félix that Chloé finally won.

Marinette maintained her smile, her lips twitching just the slightest bit as she relaxed her shoulders and fixed her stare on Chloé.

“Congratulations, Bourgeois,” Marinette stated. “You were right; I was wrong. You won.”

He expected as much.

For reasons beyond his comprehension, the Akuma Class believed the liar girl over Marinette for the better part of the year or two — he wasn’t paying too much attention to them, just Marinette given how haggard she was from overwork. It was even more noticeable with how their peers on the student council would always talk about her worriedly.

“I know I am,” Chloé had scoffed, leaning back into her seat as she regarded Marinette with a rather cold look. “That’s not what I was talking about.”

“And what exactly do you want to hear?” Marinette asked incredulously.

Looks like he wasn’t the only one who was confused — even Sabrina and Alix seemed surprised over the statement. Sabrina should’ve known everything about Chloé, and for her to be thrown off by this just goes to show that Claude really was wrong about the Charmante Faction Leader.

“What I want,” Chloé seemed to glare, “is an apology.”

“For what?” Marinette’s brows knit, clear confusion on her face. “For being naïve by not believing you?”

“That, and for your deplorable behaviour,” Chloé practically sneered. “It was disgusting, watching you act beneath your station.”

Alright… now she was definitely matching Claude’s memories of her. Claude was starting to think that maybe Ladybug was actually making a bigger and better positive impact than Adrien Agreste, but he stands corrected.

“Right,” Marinette dryly stated. “You’ve always been the type for extravagance like all the others who prefer to indulge in their wealth. How dare I show such a shameful side of me, for preferring to disregard status. I’d prefer to call it moderation, however. Ah, what was it again? Moderation is key, isn’t it?”

“Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous,” Chloé wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Moderation,” she scoffed, looking at her nails as if to ignore Marinette. “Well, look where moderation brought you. Acting like a mere commoner, lowering yourself as if you were a feeble servant to our peers, becoming not only a doormat, but also becoming a stalker!”

Oh… oh.

Claude suddenly had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this was becoming personal. It was no wonder why Chloé wasn’t finding delight in Marinette’s defeat right from the get go — something that all of them had been expecting — she was pissed because of Marinette’s former fangirl crush on her friend.

Judging from the look of dawning realization on Marinette’s face, she got the memo.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette stated, looking away from Chloé. She was ashamed, he could tell that much. “I shouldn’t have let myself get so obsessed with the idea of Prince Charming. For what it’s worth, I have made strides to improve myself for the better.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” came Chloé’s clipped reply. “Adrikins is innocent and naïve — he needs someone to snap him out of it like I tried to do for you. I’m waiting until he finally opens his eyes on this whole Liar Rossi thing, because with how much he cares for the simpletons of our class, he’s going to realize that she’s the worst type of person to associate with. What he doesn’t need is to get dragged into your fantasy and unresolved issues — despite the distance, he is still my childhood friend.”

“I get it,” Marinette stated with gritted teeth. “When I realized how kind he was, he…” she sighed, shoulders slumping. “He matched my idea of a perfect prince.”

At this, Chloé leaned back into her seat once more, giving Marinette a glare. “You weren’t using him to get back at Félix for leaving, were you? Considering how similar they look.”

Oh, jeez… Claude didn’t want to hear any of this conversation for plausible deniability, but now he has no choice. This was definitely going to bite him in the ass later, because, well, for starters he’s the only guy here and if Félix says anything, it’ll get traced back to him. Sure, Alix was nonbinary and didn’t care about pronouns, but she was loyal to Marinette to begin with so no worries about breach of privacy there. Félix was unaware of the Marinette’s crush on him from back then, but there’s no doubt he knows now.

(It didn’t help much that Claude was probably the only one in the Quantic Kids who picked up on this whole crush situation. He never said anything to avoid getting on Marinette’s bad side, besides, he thought Félix was only nice to Marinette due to being all businessman-like.)

“Of course not,” Marinette huffed. “Yeah, I wanted to forget Félix, but I didn’t even realize that they were cousins until he came back. Félix is a common name, and I didn’t remember his last name beyond Graham until I saw the film with Adrien’s mother.”

“Hmph. Fine. I’ll accept that for now,” Chloé said, pursing her lips. “I won’t apologize for my words and actions. I’m still far too upset at what you’ve done to him under the guise of friendship to even want to.”

“As long as we’re done airing out our grievances, that’s fine with me,” Marinette smiled. “Now, can we finally move onto what we’re really here for?”

“Hold it,” Chloé cut in. “Sabrina, call our guest.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sabrina complied to the command, pulling out her phone.

“A guest?” Marinette blinked. “You never mentioned that another person was joining us.”

“Why would I waste my time on that when you’re going to be meeting them anyway, Marinette?” Chloé rolled her eyes. “Just wait.”

Claude, who left one of his hands in his hoodie’s pocket with his phone, finally ended the call with Félix before Sabrina could call him herself.

——————————

Nino’s not sure if it’s because he knew, deep down inside, that this was going to happen, but it’s a strange feeling nevertheless. He thinks that maybe he’s heartbroken, maybe numb, but he knows that he’s upset because he did cry in the restroom for several minutes after it happened.

Like ripping off a band-aid — hurts and then it’s fine for a while. Not great, not terrible, but fine.

As much as he didn’t want to, it’s either stick with the herd, or save the rest of his class from further manipulation.

It does hurt, though, knowing that he and Alya won’t be spending time together any more, that she’ll give him back his stuff and he’ll give hers back as well. He’s going to get bombarded with questions from the guys, and he’s not sure if that’s something he’s capable of handling emotionally at the moment.

“Nino…?” Adrien hesitantly called out, frowning with his brows pinched in concern. “Are you okay?”

He doesn’t think he is. On the bright side, he won’t be akumatized until maybe later. Can’t really say the same for Alya who just stomped off, but he expected that.

“Alya and I broke up.”

It was a quiet statement, simple, straight to the point. For the past several minutes, he’s been staring at his phone, trying to decide whether to actually drop Alya’s number like she yelled at him to do.

Huh. How long did he keep Adrien waiting? He hopes it wasn’t too long.

“What?!” Adrien shouted, eyes blown wide as he was very obviously taken aback by the news. “Why?! Don’t you two love each other?”

“We… had a fight,” Nino admits, not really wanting to rehash the last 15 minutes of his study period. But Adrien was his best friend, and he was also Alya’s friend, and Nino wasn’t gonna blind side him by making him feel awkward about hanging out with one over the other. “Rose and I finished our project early during our study period, so I went to go look for Alya.”

He should probably thank Rose for pushing him into doing it, otherwise he wouldn’t have, and then it’d be too late to do anything. She did look worried about him, when she caught sight of him heading towards the restroom, but she was with Juleka who’s been looking really pale lately.

Rose definitely knew how the conversation with Alya was going to turn out, and while he is upset at her for that fact, he knows that it’s not actually her fault.

“Uh huh…” Adrien nodded, looking increasingly worried. “What’d you two talk about?”

“It was about Lila,” he breathed, and he could see Adrien perking up at the mention of the girl. It made him feel terrible, having to break the news that Adrien’s crush isn’t as great as everyone thinks she is.

“What… uh, what about her?”

Like ripping off a band-aid, he had to remind himself. Taking in a deep breath, then letting it go as he steeled his resolve.

“I told her that Lila’s been lying to us. To all of us,” he looked away, not wanting to see Adrien’s heartbroken face. “And Alya… she didn’t believe me. She accused me of still liking Marinette and that’s why I’m siding with her. Stuff about how…” his eyes burned with unshed tears. “Lila’s been telling her a bunch of lies. About how I’m always looking at Marinette when Alya wasn’t looking, that she thought she saw me talking to Marinette after school the other day, that I was standing really close to her, like we were gonna…”

Nino took in another breath, letting it out with a sigh, willing to keep the weight of the heartbreak off his shoulders. He didn’t want to deal with getting akumatized for the day — it always made him feel worse in the aftermath.

It’s already been a bad day.

“What…?” he regrets looking back at Adrien, seeing a look of horror crossing his friend’s face. He hopes it’s for the situation that Nino’s in and not because of Lila’s lies. He didn’t know if he could handle something like that so soon after the breakup with Alya.

“I didn’t expect it either,” he smiled wryly, feeling all the bitterness bubbling up in his chest before suppressing it with a tired chuckle. “I thought that maybe…” he shook his head, his vision blurring. “Well, I guess Lila’s lies were stronger than our relationship, stronger than everything we’ve been through together, apparently.”

And oh, did that admittance hurt. Alya chose to doubt him over Lila, choosing a liar over her own boy—ex-boyfriend. She didn’t want to hear him out, claiming that he wanted to cover his unfaithfulness by throwing Lila under the bus.

“Nino, I’m… I… I know that’s not true—”

“Thanks for believing in me,” Nino gave his best friend a pat on the shoulder. “But I kinda expected this would happen if I talked to Alya about it,” he shot Adrien a weak smile. “I know you like Lila, just… be careful, yeah? I just… I don’t want you getting hurt like I did.”

Adrien said nothing. Nino didn’t blame him. Poor guy was still in a state of shock from what Nino could tell. It did make him feel better, knowing that he still had Adrien on his side if not Alya.

“Thanks for not calling me delusional. I… I know I said that I’d come hang out with you and Kitty Section today, but uh… I’m… not really up for it right now,” he gave Adrien a side hug. “Kinda don’t want to be around anyone from school.”

Maybe he’ll stop by the Dupain-Cheng Bakery on his way home. He could really use the warm hugs he’d always get from Sabine and Tom, and maybe a warm, freshly baked chocolate croissant. They always knew how to make him feel safe and at home whenever he’s had a bad day, and maybe they might have some advice for the heartbreak and—

Ah shit, Nino was definitely crying now.

“See ya tomorrow, dude,” he tugged his cap down and headed off.

Breakups are the worst.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Excellent post. I want to add two important notes/additions because you've activated my sleeper agent DSMP lore analyst!

First: Tommy stealing the ax is really what gets me about that whole scenario and is what annoys me when people wave that part away.

All DSMP discourse is so deeply bogged down by people feeling like they need to pick a side, and that one character's actions are always justified and okay, and the other character is in the wrong. This is not how it works. You can have situations where Character A does something that from their standpoint and their arc, is expected and normal for them as a person, and where Character B's reaction to those actions is ALSO justified and normal.

I agree that for c!Tommy, leaving Techno and joining L'manburg was the in-character thing to do, and probably even the right one for his mental state. He loves Tubbo. He loves his friends. He wants to be with them. He's been through hell and back. He needs this.

But I also agree that Techno's reaction was completely normal. When somebody turns their back on you, and basically gives the middle finger to all the help you've been giving them, and all out seems to not care that you're being screwed over by this decision*, you're going to be hurt and pissed off. It's weird for people to hold Techno (or any character) to this dumb standard of not being allowed to have normal ass emotional reactions to stuff.

Neither Tommy nor Techno was being willfully malicious, but both are entitled to feel A Certain Way about what happened without that making them a terrible person.

(*I will maintain forever that Tommy's timing was dogshit though lmao, I get that things went the way they did for a reason but he did kinda walk away while Techno was in enemy territory surrounded by a bunch of hostiles and showed 0 care about Techno being able to get out of that alive. Ouch.)

The ax is what particularly gets me riled up because it's such an unnecessary slight? Techno is honestly pretty calm in his reaction up until that point all things considered, but then he asks for his ax back - an ax that meant a lot to him and he specifically only borrowed to Tommy while Tommy was under his care - and for Tommy to be like "hmmm nah" is just a jerk move however you look at it. I still don't think c!Tommy is a bad person and I still think his decisions make sense (even not wanting to give up the ax, in the context of Tommy's character, makes sense) but like... is Techno just supposed to smile and be like "oh okay cool" and not be pissed about that? That's stupid. He's allowed to be hurt by that.

As a side note while I agree that Tommy was not fully aware of the hurt l'Manburg did to Techno, Techno did outright tell him they needed to get his armor and stuff back from l'Manburg because they tried to kill him so like, he wasn't completely oblivious either.

Second: and this is very important (and Lenn I love you I promi this is not a callout @ you)

TECHNO BLOWING UP L'MANBURG WAS NOT A REACTION TO TOMMY BETRAYING HIM.

You can feel however you want about Doomsday, you can agree with Techno or not, you can call it an overreaction or scorched earth tactic or whatever. That's subjective. But it being a reaction to Tommy betraying him is simply canonically not accurate and I hate it when some people say that to make Techno seem like a bad person.

Techno first and foremost wanted to destroy L'manburg because of the Butcher Army coming to his retirement home, illegally detaining him (idc how often Big Q tries to call it arresting, a country can't arrest a non-citizen outside of their own territory), putting him to death without a fair trial, and also illegally detaining Phil, and destroying/stealing a bunch of Phil's stuff.

Techno mentions he's going to destroy L'manburg to Chat when he's heading home from the failed execution, before he even knows Tommy is in his house. He also shows Tommy the withers almost instantly. While I concede Techno didn't outright tell Tommy that completely reducing L'Manburg to bedrock was the plan, he also did not really hide it and eluded to it often. But that's a discussion for another time.

As Lenn mentions, L'Manburg didn't give up on killing Techno, they just shifted to c!Dream for a hot second. And this too is mentioned by Techno, since he's clearly not an idiot.

Whether you consider Doomsday a reactionary thing for the butcher army, or a preventive thing for future attacks, or a bit of both (it's most likely a bit of both), that's fine, but you cannot argue that Techno blew up L'manburg because Tommy betrayed him.

The only thing Tommy switching sides did is hasten along his plans because he was hurt/pissed, and because c!Dream basically offered his instant alliance and materials, which made Techno able to enact the plan a lot quicker. If Tommy had not switched sides at the Green Festival, blowing up L'Manburg would have still been on Techno's agenda.

Gosh, I'm sure I'll get some discourse on this, but I'll just delete it if I do-

I feel like people forget that L'manburg tried to kill Technoblade.

Like, when they talk about the Tommy/Technoblade betrayal, some people act like Technoblade should have just walked away and shrugged off that Tommy joined the people who tried to murder him. And who still WANT to murder him. Like, remember, after the failed Execution, Quackity talked about how they needed to put killing Technoblade on the back burner because Dream was a bigger threat, but they still VERY MUCH WANTED TO KILL TECHNOBLADE.

Did Tommy know all this? No, he couldn't have known it. He wasn't there. And I think Tommy choosing to go back and make amends with Tubbo was the correct thing to do for himself. I don't think it was the best choice to abandon Technoblade in a crater surrounded by enemies that want him dead, but I do think that Tommy NEEDED to reconcile with Tubbo. That was always a step he needed to take. That's his Tubbo.

But, like, why does it seem like some people just wanted Technoblade to shrug and give Tommy a pat on the back and let him keep the axe? What kind of rational person hears "Actually, now that they'll have me back, I'm going to rejoin the group of people that dropped an anvil on your head! Their companionship is more important to me than your safety" and reacts positively?

Did Tommy say that, word for word? No. Again, he didn't know about all of the hurt L'manburg caused Techno. But that's the message his actions send. Tommy chose Technoblade's would be murderers. Tommy chose the people that would definitely try again to murder Technoblade.

Why would Techno take that positively? Why wouldn't he be angry? Why wouldn't he feel like Tommy doesn't see him as a person, only a means to an end? Whether you think his reaction of blowing L'Manburg up was correct or not, how could you expect Technoblade to be anything less than hurt and angry at that?

It confuses me.

[kyoriis]

BUT I LOVE YOUUUU ! ☆

featuring !! — iluna x gn reader.

synopsis !! — when you don't say ily back *gasps*.

format !! — headcanons.

warnings !! — a lil cursing. the use of word " bro ".

kyori's note !! — fist post ayyyy. pog. stan iluna besties <3

REN ZOTTO ! ☆

he just finished streaming, and he was tired asf.

"i love you baby" (◕ᴥ◕)

"mhmm" (￣(ｴ)￣)

he gasps. i just know he's a dramatic mf in private <3.

"baby?"

"..."

"aight no kisses for you" he smirks.

now that's scary but you maintained ur composure cause ur pog.

"babyyyyyyy i love you" insert more whining.

if that doesn't work well, our alien prince will use plan b. tickling.

won't stop until you say ily back LMAO.

laughs proudly when you say it cause he's a cheeky mf. ( pls i love his voice sm bro- )

SCARLE YONAGUNI ! ☆

mommy-

so y'all were cuddling.

"i looooove you" she kisses ur forehead, expecting a response but you just nod.

she literally goes (´⊙ω⊙`)！

"love, is something wrong?" she asks a lil confused.

"y/n?" oh shoot not the name-

idk why but i feel like she'll lowkey try to remember if something upset you because she's such a sweetheart.

she won't talk unless you say something so u finally tell her it was a prank.

will yeet you lovingly off her lap ( ◜‿◝ )♡

scarle yonaguni supremacy indeed.

KYO KANEKO ! ☆

baby boy just yeets himself onto you to tell you how much he loves you.

"god i love you so much mwah" ( ˘ ³˘)♥

"wanna play smash bros?"

are you fr? y/n are you seriously ignoring ur adorable lover? honey no.

"umm uhh sure?" he replies, his voice slightly breaking.

HOW DARE YOU HURT HIM YOU-

literally for the entire three matches you both played he looked more and more sad :(

the guilt that filled you when you looked at his lil pout was enough for you to explain that it was a prank and apologize.

"so umm so like can you say it now?" he chuckles, hugging you.

"i love you too kyo."

don't do that again, or else ಥ_ಥ

MARIA MARIONETTE ! ☆

my precious lil being.

how could you do this to her y/n?

"i love you" she says shyly, hiding her face in her hands.

"mhmm"

she's confused. (・o・)

was this supposed to happen?

that's not what she learnt from google tho-

like my girl literally goes out of the room to ✨research✨ ur reaction.

a true #girlboss indeed.

like your had to chase her down and explain it to her lmfaooo.

"oh" pls i love her sm aaaaa.

please tell her ily again bro.

ASTER ARCADIA ! ☆

pretty boy was always pretty nervous when it came to expressing love.

"i love you y/n" he whispers (◍•ᴗ•◍)

"....."

i feel like he's very sensitive when it comes to this type of stuff.

he gets very worried. immediately apologizes before dashing out of the room.

ur lover is crying cause of ur stupid ass prank y/n. ಠ︵ಠ

"ASTER BABY NOO IT WAS A PRANK" you try to comfort him.

poor baby :(((

stop crying after a lil while.

"i love you too ! i love you so much" you kiss his forehead <3

cuddles to make him happy. NOW.

AIA AMARE ! ☆

she knew what was going on.

queen shit amirite?

"i love you, you lovable idiot." she smiles.

but that sweet smile turns into an amused smirk as soon as she hears no response. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"babe please, you're too easy to read"

if you still don't budge or pretend to be confused. ( which is epic btw i would just surrender lol )

"no more cuddles" and you know she's deadass about it too.

instant panik.

a prank <<< cuddles from aia amare 😍

so you end up admitting it because who tf would wanna be banned from cuddling with such a beautiful woman?

aia : 1, y/n : 0.

© KYORIIS 2022

[osakiharu]

DATING RINDOU HEADCANONS !!

[request]

content : gender neutral reader, fluff, bonten rindou <3, there’s not much to add here apart from swearing here and there and one mention of an injury i think :0

notes : this was longer than expected but this is what happens when you give me a request for one of my favourite characters <3  

- 2nd best boyfriend according to wakui himself hello ??

- we all know rindou is treating you properly. if you’re dating rindou he’s gonna treat you right and how you should be treated in a relationship. 

- he’s not one of the best boyfriends ever for nothing <3

- he makes it very clear that he doesn’t want you involved with his work if possible - you know exactly what he does, he just doesn’t want you being put at risk of getting hurt or even killed just because of the people he’s involved with 

- so as much as he would love for you to come and surprise him every now and again and sit with him while he does work you’re not allowed :/

- the only way you really become involved with his work is when you’re patching him up after a mission because he doesn’t want anyone else to do it but you <3 why go to the hospital when he has his very own “cute little nurse” of his own?

- “you should wear- fuck, that hurts,” rindou groaned as you began to clean one of the deeper cuts on his chest, “you should wear one of those hot nurse outfits next time… just f’me, yeah?” 

- he likes to take you to events / parties to do with the people he works with or if everyone agreed they’d go to the club later that night <3 - he’s happy with you meeting everyone he works with like mikey, koko, kakucho etc if you don’t already know them because he gets to show you off to them <3 he makes it very clear that you’re his though :0

- the whole time he’s got this smug look on his face until ran cracks a joke about him when you leave for a second - “they’re clearly being held hostage by rindou, why would they date him when i’m stood in front of them?” ran thinks he’s funny :/

- although rindou is very happy you and ran get along and like each other he knows he’ll never be able to escape his brother’s teasing

- really, he just loves going out with you regardless of where it is so everyone can see how pretty and wonderful you are <3

- keeps you an arm’s length away from sanzu though… he’s a little unpredictable idk he might pull a katana out his ass 🫶

- he’s pretty possessive of you :0 - it’s very much because he wants to keep you safe and away from harm, he’s not exactly worried about other guys anyways, as if they’d be able to win you over when they’re up against rindou haitani 

- i don’t think other people would even get a chance at attempting to speak to you like that because he’s always there with an arm around you - he always has one of his scary glares that are enough to put even the bravest person on earth off from speaking to you

- he always makes sure to wear his rings when you’re all dressed up with him just in case he feels the need to beat someone up 🫶

- it’s not like rindou expects you to go off with anyone else anyways, he trusts you a lot and he knows you wouldn’t do something like that <3 (and he wouldn’t either mwah)

- expect a lot of dates (most of them make you wonder just how much money he has) <3 shopping sprees, fancy restaurants, you name it you’ve done it a million times already 

- most of the fancy dates are planned by rindou or they’re rindou’s ideas so he always makes sure to listen to what you want to do when you have a little date idea or you wanna go somewhere (even if it’s not somewhere with a 5 star badge on it) <3

- he will do anything you suggest even if he’d never considered doing it himself (and even if he’s a little reluctant towards it he’ll still go and do what you want lmao)

- like if you wanna go to the cute little cafe you always walk past and get cake he’s down. if you simply just want to go on a walk to take photos of the sunset he’s happy with that too ! - he knows you enjoy all the expensive meals and the meters-long receipts from shopping sprees but he also just enjoys more quiet moments with the two of you together <3 

- he still doesn’t understand why people like picnics so much though…

- in private rindou is a softie we all know this by now. 

- lots and lots of cuddles <3 he will always take any free minute in a day you both have to just cuddle with you - he gets pretty busy and stressed because of work so he loves being able to hold you to his chest, hugging and kissing you or listening to you talking to him about whatever comes to mind so he can forget about literally anything else for a bit <3

- it’s pretty rare for him to be the one being held and kissed though - he prefers being the ‘big spoon’ and being the one holding you, it’s enough for him so if you want to be in his place you have to initiate it and do a bit of persuading 

- he always enjoys it though <3

- he always cuddles up close to you when you go to sleep too - he doesn't care of it’s 100 degrees, you are sleeping on top of him or under his arm no questions asked. 

- he likes physical affection a lot <3 he’s always kissing you and wrapping his arms around you, or little touches here and there - he finds that it comes naturally to him compared to other ways of expression and he hopes it says what he wants to say <3

- he will make out with you anywhere as long as there’s no one else around. he’s pretty sure you’ve made out in every room of the house multiple times (his favourite being the bedroom of course) and he’s slowly adding different places to the list

- likes his office at home too - if you come in to see how he’s doing, he’s grabbing you and sitting you on his lap kissing you until your lips hurt </3 he’ll keep you sat on his lap once he goes back to what he was doing - “you sit there, lookin’ pretty for me, angel, ‘m almost done.”

- he’s waiting for the day he lets up on the no-visiting-at-work rule so he can have you sat on his desk with his hands all over you when sanzu walks in <3 - rindou thinks sanzu has a little crush on you (he doesn’t, he’s just genuinely trying to be nice and making sure you’re not scared of him) and although he’s not fond of the idea of anyone but him seeing you like that, he’ll pass up on that situation just this once.

- “maybe i should just kill him, i can cover it up,” rindou sighs as he props his feet up on the coffee table, leaning his head back on the couch, “how’s he gonna sit here and flirt with you when he’s constantly following mikey around like the fuckin’ dog he is! isn’t mikey enough for him? see! he’d be a shitty boyfriend, that’s like cheating if you think about it, y/n!” 

- rindou is the type to let you do anything to him. he’s the “anything for you” type (even if he kinda can’t be bothered)

- he likes it when you sit him down to show him what you bought when you were out with your friends ! it makes him laugh at how excited you are to show him everything and he gets you to try everything on so he can “see it properly” and get a good idea of how you like to dress so he knows what to buy you as a surprise 

- “mhm, i like that one, too. looks real pretty on you, sweetheart.”

- yes. even the underwear. he’s not letting you get away without showing him those :0 

- he lets you mess around with his hair and tie it up in all sorts of ways and it’s you’re lucky you might be able to sway him to let you put a tiny bit of makeup on him 

- he tries to get you to work out with him in return but often you just end up sitting on his back or lying under him while he does push ups 🫶

- he does his best at taking care of you on bad days but he’s not the best at helping you :/ he’s better at attempting to distract you from whatever’s worrying you or dragging you out of bed rather than actually offering help - he would if he could but he doesn’t want to accidentally give shitty advice and make you feel worse :(

- “tell you what, baby, we can go and take a nap for a little, ‘n’ if you feel up to it we can go on a walk or watch a movie, yeah? that sound good? s’ gonna be okay, don’t worry that pretty little head of yours.” 

- but y’know :/ rindou has a short temper and gets in a bad mood easily especially if something manages to hit a certain nerve that day - some days he just can’t stand the people he works with and he swears the world teams up against him to piss him off and to give him the most difficult day possible

- and sometimes he just can’t shake off his sour mood before he gets home and you have to deal with the tail end of it :/

- he snaps at you on days like that - “bad day, rin?” “is it not fuckin’ obvious, y/n? fucking hell.”

- but it only lasts for a few minutes ! once he’s gotten changed and had a shower if he can be bothered he’s cuddling up next to you on the couch, kissing you all over and apologising <3

- “’m sorry, baby,” he whispered as he pulled you into his lap, kissing your head, “shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, ‘s not your fault.”

- and rindou is forgiven because we know he’d never do anything to upset you or hurt you on purpose <3

- overall dating rindou is literally the best, he would do anything for you and he loves you so so much <3

[10dance]

Oh man, what a chapter! There was so much going on and I was so excited during the initial read-through. We've been waiting to see the after party for so long, but I still didn't expect this...

Suzuki is heavily pining this chapter much like how Sugiki did back in chapters 35-36, and it hurts but it hurts so good... It's also sad to see his internalized homophobia getting worse as he thinks that his desires (described as "pornographic" back in 38) are ruining Sugiki somehow. The two really need to have a chat about their feelings and their future lol. Inoue, I demand it! And to let those "desires" out, he's just... kissing random men..? When he should be kissing Sugiki instead lmao.

While Sugiki looks hot when he's sad (his sadness is very sexy), Suzuki also looks extremely attractive in a suit and in mild distress:

Next we have more dance industry politics. I was honestly a little shocked at what Ernie told Nino: that the real reason Alberto said to not watch Suzuki's dancing is because he knew Nino would be intrigued. It's been a long time since we last saw Al, but I didn't expect him to have such a motive; though "lies are unavoidable in this industry", as Sugiki used to say.

Side note, we've seen so many of Ernie's outfits but this one is on another level to me haha. Maybe this is just what he wears around the house... bear ears and paws... I wonder if he was doing anything before Nino called him lol.

And after the flashback, Nino finally finds Suzuki and tells him he wants to be Suzuki's coach! I was just as surprised as Suzuki when I read this page. What would this mean for the future dynamics between Al, Suzuki, and Nino? I don't think we'll get to see the consequences of this anytime soon (until Al comes back into the picture), but I'm excited just thinking about it!

We change scenes back to Max and Sugiki. I guess he really just dipped from the party (now that I think about it, it isn't really a mandatory event...). Inoue has been adding more and more details about alcohol (like the whiskey from #35) as the story progresses, including this chapter. I don't know much about it but the descriptions about alcohol sets this really nice and mature atmosphere that I really like for these two. And I have to report that Max keeps getting glow-ups as time goes on... The way he holds that cigar? SLUT

My second surprise was Max asking Sugiki to be his successor. He's only known Sugiki for a few months; I know he likes him a lot, but wow... Sugiki is rich now :0! not the point. I have an idea that Sugiki can become Suzuki's patron this way, but that gets me to wonder the changes in dynamic that will bring, so it's just a thought for now. Either way, this is a shocking development.

Finally we cut back to Suzuki and Nino. I can't believe this man, this dumbass, blushing and making a cute face after being called "monster-class" because that's like Sugiki. One minute ago he was all like "i have to stay away..."!! And now he's being cute again! The range this man has. Also, that shot towards Norman... is he looking at them and knowing what is going to happen? Considering that he knows about Sugiki's plan, I bet Norman already knows why Nino is talking to Suzuki.

Overall this was a jam-packed update with many things to think and discuss about; I'm already looking forward to the next update in August!

10 Dance - chapter 40, part 2 summary

At the after party for the Japan International, Nino seeks out Suzuki to talk to him about a decision he's made after witnessing his performance. Also, Max talks business with Sugiki, and puts forth a proposal for him to consider.

Full summary and highlight images under the cut

Chapter 40, part 2: Come On-a My Life

Published online on July 14th, 2023, available to purchase on Comic Days, or rent for 10 days on Yanmaga.

At the after party, Nino walks purposefully through the venue, ignoring various people who keep calling out asking him to join them. He thinks to himself that the steps he's taking now are toward the future, down a path heading to the unknown.

Elsewhere in the room, Fabio asks Aki to come give him a kiss on the cheek as he holds up his phone to take a selfie. She complies and asks what the photo is for, to which he replies that he'll post it on Instagram. She comments that he seems to be in a great mood, and he gleefully says that he managed to score a contract with Max. Aki thinks that's amazing, and says Fabio should have a lavish advertising budget now.

Suzuki is nearby, and he takes a drink as he reflects on Sugiki freezing up during the honor dance. He mutters to himself that he didn't let Sugiki go just for things to end up like this. Fabio comes over and asks Suzuki to kiss his cheek for a TikTok video, and as Suzuki does so, he continues to think about Sugiki, how he's top-notch, beautiful, and independent. He couldn't allow his desire for such a dazzling man to cause Sugiki to falter. That's why he had to separate himself from Sugiki, as Suzuki believes himself to have always been deeply flawed. As he thinks about this, he recalls kissing Sugiki backstage, and ends up grabbing Fabio's face and letting his lips drift from his cheek to his mouth. Fabio's phone starts ringing and Suzuki breaks off the kiss, apologizing as he steps away. As Fabio answers the phone, he mumbles that Suzuki teasing him like that could end up with Fabio straddling him. Nino is on the other end, and he asks Fabio if Suzuki is with him. Fabio replies that he was just there, and giddily says that he was being a total flirt. Nino demands for Fabio to keep Suzuki there, and asks where they’re at.

Nino flashes back to a video call he had with Ernie (who was inexplicably donning bear ears, paws, and seemingly little else). Ernie said that the reason Alberto didn’t want Nino to go see Suzuki dance live is because he felt it could pose a threat to his own position. Nino is the top coach for the top-level pros, and Al knows that their arrangement doesn’t rely just on money, but on Nino’s assessment of them. What Al is most afraid of is for Nino to discover a new “it couple”.  Ernie said that for this reason Nino absolutely must go see Suzuki’s dancing in person.

In the present, as Nino continues walking, he thinks how each step he takes toward Suzuki makes him realize even more clearly that dance has been used as a tool for communication since ancient times, and regardless of one’s place in society it’s as free as the human spirit. Nino finally reaches Suzuki and declares that he wants to be his coach.

Back at Max’s mansion, Sugiki coughs as he tastes the drink Max gave him, saying that it’s not rum like he asked for. Max takes it back from him and says he’ll make it more palatable. He pours the liquor into a taller glass, adds ice and stirs, then adds carbonated water and stirs again. He asks Sugiki to try it now, explaining that it’s a Yamazaki single malt whiskey. Sugiki says he doesn’t drink whiskey since the smell makes him think of old men. Max says he can just try a sip, which Sugiki does begrudgingly. Max says that it’s time for them to get down to business, and talks about how in the Muldaur family with its far-reaching influence, the parents typically pass along a unique sort of education to their offspring, similar to training royalty on how to rule. He notes, however, that his daughters and their husbands have no interest in following in his footsteps, as one has to have the resolve to leap head-on into a whirlpool to do what he does. As Sugiki finishes his drink and Max starts to make him another, Max asks if he wants power. He says it looks to him like there’s currently no core that unites the dance industry. That’s something of great interest to his family, as they’re always on the lookout for markets they can invest in and expand. It helps those industries flourish, and brings profit for themselves, so it’s a win-win for everyone. However, doing this requires a specialist who is highly familiar with that world. Sugiki says that he’s not going to let Max use him for this, and Max says that this is about more than merely using him; he actually wants Sugiki to be his successor.

Back at the party, Suzuki barely has a chance to react before Nino says he has to be the one to take the reins of a nonstandard, monster class dancer like Suzuki; in fact, he believes no one else could possibly do it, and he finds Suzuki to be utterly fascinating. Suzuki thinks about being classified as a monster just like Sugiki, and smiles with a little blush as he wonders aloud if what Nino is saying is really true. Nino sighs and says that he’s going to explain Suzuki’s true nature to him.

Previous chapter: #40 part 1

Next chapter: Though a specific date has not yet been revealed, according to Inouesatoh's Twitter this chapter will be released in three parts over consecutive months, so we can anticipate part 3 sometime in August 2023.

[dreamrecorder]

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

~

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

~

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

~

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

~

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

~ 

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

~

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

~

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

~

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

~

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

[iamyelling]

i assume by micro dosing testosterone you mean taking a low dose of testosterone as HRT so i’ll answer based on that. if you mean something g else feel free to disregard!

first i highly recommend rena yehuda’s testosterone zine - i’ve posted it on this blog before and if you google it’s pretty easy to find. it’s free to download. that was super informative to me! when i started T my doctor had me look at this website https://transcare.ucsf.edu/ look at the for providers and the for patients tabs.

i also have a bad memory so i check this every now and then because i keep forgetting the timelines. note that on low doses it'll be a bit slower and stuff.

ok so i'm at 8 almost 9 months on low dose injections. i say if youre thinking about it, want to do it, do it! my one "wisdom" is that you shouldn't get caught up in "goals" or "expectations" or like the "i want this but not this" line of thinking. a lot of times docs will start the conversation with "so what are your goals?" and online conversations and communities focus on that a lot of times too, but i don't think it's helpful. because what happens for you is totally unique and you can't pick and choose effects much or really. stay open-minded to discover new things. let yourself just be surprised by what you end up enjoying and liking!

by that i mean it drives me nuts when some people are like "i want to go on t but i'm scared of X effect!" which is usually body hair increase, head hair thinning or balding, bottom growth and horniness. lots of people do want those things. they aren't bad things. other things people are often concerned about are acne - just take care of your skin its usually not too bad. vaginal atrophy - use lube, i've heard there are estrogen suppositories or something if it's real bad. anger rage emotional stuff - myth. getting more into men guys dudes and butt stuff - real, not always but is not uncommon, stay open to possibilities. thinning and balding hair - ask your doc about it if youre concerned, there are medications and treatments for this. i don't have those concerns so i don't know much about this but it can be helped if youre particularly concerned.

i was on the birth control pill and stopped at the same time i started t, which has been quite a ride! horniness/libido/sex drive from 0 to 50! my hips have reduced and my butt has gotten bigger. my tits deflated and are more normal size for me now, they were boppers before.

my period appears to have stopped finally after like 8 months which i wasn't sure it'd do at this dose. i have been thinking about going up a little bit in dose.

my voice is getting deeper which is very nice. i'm struggling with masking (like neurodivergent masking) and i keep pushing my voice too high when speaking and hurting my vocal cords. need to work on this. i am not a singer and i am terrible at singing though i enjoy doing it, so i had no concerns about my singing voice. it truly could only get better from where it was lmao

look to your family members to see what you'll look like. youll still be you. also it won't happen overnight, the changes. its very gradual.

I am once again dancing with the idea of microdosing testosterone if anyone has any advice/wisdom please help

[shoichee]

ok hear me out. aomine x f!reader who’s on the tennis team and is amazing at it. for a while the reader and her team need to share the gym on the same days as basketball practice. during the days they share the gym aomine notices the reader. somehow aomine finds out the reader is also good at basketball, practically at aomine’s level. you can decide what happens!! it can be a head cannon or a type of one shot :)

I AM HEARING YOU OUT ANON, WE HAVE ANOTHER BANGER REQUEST THIS IS FIRE look inhale, what a genius, okay so i don’t play tennis myself, but I have a lot of friends who do... and trust me.... it’s a lot more exertive and difficult than what it appears to be

Aomine x f!Reader

[Headcanons]

if Aomine was a monster on the basketball courts, you were a monster on the tennis courts

the only reason why he hasn’t heard about you until he first saw you was because tennis tends to be not as a popular and broadcasted sport as basketball // the tennis games themselves are often single-player (doubles exist too but still less people on the same court) and relatively quiet with few audience members watching too

it was a MIRACLE that Aomine was there at the gym today (thank Wakamatsu for threatening to burn his porno mag), and luckily for him, he didn’t even had to practice as hard because the tennis club had an agreement with Touou’s basketball coach to occupy the other half of the gym

enter you, putting down your duffel bag and stretching before you do a few warmup tosses and hits against the gym wall while the nets were being set up

for the first half of practice, both sides were busy with their own practices, so Aomine hasn’t really noticed you

it was until the team got a break to catch their breath that Aomine noticed that the tennis team were still doing drills and practice matches; every single eye was drawn to you

Sakurai immediately comments on how your movements were too similar to Aomine’s, and Imayoshi is equally intrigued that you might as well be the tennis-version of Aomine

at the chatter, Aomine slightly perks up and looks to where everyone was pointing at (you), and quietly watches you while still looking “bored,” until he realized how right they were

your agility is top-notch and your instincts to immediately sprint to the right direction were insane; your change of pace from 0 to 10 in acceleration were even more seamless than Aomine’s at times, especially when you stand at a ready position and suddenly burst to the other side of the court to save the ball from the corner

not to mention you have your own fair share of trickshots and unpredictability in trying various ways to tire out your opponent in chasing after the balls you hit

Sakurai loudly wonders that if you played basketball, would you even be able to defeat Aomine?? and the entire team STARTS ANALYZING AND DISCUSSING amongst themselves and doing bets LMAO

Aomine’s impressed, but he’s still somewhat “meh” about it, since “the only one who could beat me is me” is still an attitude he carries around, and you do give off a vibe similar to Kise where you could easily copy techniques easily if you do play basketball other than tennis

little did Aomine know, you also noticed his exceptional skill with the ball and how he can do trickshots and dunks with ease… you turn to your friend and ask if that’s even possible

your friend stares incredulously at you and asks, “How do you not know? He’s one of the Generation of Miracles!”

of course you didn’t know if you’ve been focused on tennis all your life, but being in the sports world, the title of “Generation of Miracles” does ring a familiar bell

your friend (who’s also your partner during doubles matches) also plays a little bit of other sports on the side, including basketball, and during breaks, your friend would often ask you to play a small game together because seeing the Touou basketball team playing got them pumped up

your athletic ability would translate very easily into basketball, since having reflexes, agility, instincts, and change of pace would all be advantageous in sports that require mobility (just like how Koganei’s instincts from tennis were very useful in Seirin)

so whether or not you played basketball didn’t matter dramatically because you had skills and abilities that would be universally beneficial in most sports anyways

you always gave your friend a run for their money when you kept stealing their ball, did fast breaks, or pulled off agile maneuverings that no beginner player would be able to do, and whenever your tennis teammates did their “ooh’s” and “ah’s,” the basketball team would peer over to see what the commotion was about

they were LOSING their shit at how naturally talented you were at basketball, and Imayoshi has a bad great idea of inviting you over after practice to do some quick one-on-ones with Aomine for his own entertainment

Aomine is kind of excited if he was being honest, and his blood is kinda pumping and he’s a bit giddy to find a potential rival other than Kagami

Momoi is a little worried for you because Aomine might be a brute and hurt you, especially since you’re a girl, but she’s just as excited to see someone potentially knocking down his ego a shit ton if he loses

Momoi and Imayoshi both walk up to you on the last day of “shared” practice at the gym and ask if you can spare some time to do some one-on-ones with Aomine, and you agree because you don’t have much to do anyways

your friend is super excited for you but a little nervous at how you’re so casual in going against a GoM, but nevertheless, both the tennis and basketball teams are in the audience watching Momoi throwing up the jump ball (Aomine is giving you an arrogant smirk and you’re just standing there more focused on the ball than him LMAO)

as expected, Aomine easily grabs the ball (since he knows the rhythm in jumping for this a lot better) and immediately starts dribbling down the court at an inhuman speed, expecting a swift victory

nope, you immediately reacted to his speed and immediately cut off his drive when you’re right in front of him… and you immediately swiped for the ball, Aomine almost didn’t react fast enough to switch handles to escape your reach

but you immediately reacted and reach for his other dribbling hand and slap the ball away, and then you bolted with the ball down your court

Aomine is right behind you, shocked out of his wits, and everyone else is in HYSTERICS in the background

“HOLY SHIT, did you see that?!”

“(y/n), kick his ass!”

“Ho? Aomine, you’re letting her beat you so easily?”

“I knew those porn mags didn’t do anything good for him.”

“U-Um, Wakamatsu-san…”

Aomine thinks it’s a fluke that you got the ball from him, but he’s shocked because you weren’t exactly a Kise, and you even had a reaction time similar to Akashi’s on top of that

he tries to steal the ball back, but you did something unpredictable: using a similar movement when you hit the tennis ball with your racket, you slapped the ball to bounce (at an unfamiliar speed/rhythm) through his legs before you sprinted to dribble the ball in a normal drive again

shooting was a different story though because Aomine is always blocking your shots or stealing it before you can even get into a shooting position; after all, shooting requires use of muscles different to when playing tennis

even so, you made it equally hard for him to score

ultimately, Aomine’s superb shooting abilities expectantly made him won the short match, but he even had to resort to some crazy trickshots, so your reflexes would kick in slower than normal to register those shots

for those who have no clue about tennis (spoiler alert: me), a tennis racket is a lot more bulkier and heavier than it appears to be (much different than a badminton racket), and it takes a lot of arm strength to play with it very fluidly without wasting energy

thus, dribbling was easy for you, and your ball handling was pretty unique but still very hard to keep track of

now Aomine won, but everyone is losing their shit at the fact that you managed to get him to sweat so much and putting in effort (cue Wakamatsu and Imayoshi trying to recruit you to join as Aomine’s practice buddy to get the Touou ace to practice for once)

now, if it was a two-on-two match, you and your friend would definitely destroy Aomine and whoever would be unfortunate enough to be his partner (cough, Sakurai), for the sole reason that your impeccable teamwork in tennis doubles carries over to basketball matches, where Aomine has always been a solo star player

you damn know well that Aomine would constantly bug you to do one-on-ones with him, but he’s secretly whipped for you and doesn’t know how else to ask you to hang out with him other than a match LMAO

you do remind him that you’re a tennis player first, and you prioritize your team above all else; that means if there’s tennis practice, you’re going to those no matter what

that just reminded him of Kuroko (nostalgia, angst, and feels enter here)

he reluctantly shows up to watch your tennis practices along with Momoi because sleeping on the roof has gotten “boring,” and Momoi finds incentive in finding any techniques she can pick up from you to use for basketball strategies

he may have secretly watched your tennis matches, both singles and doubles

you definitely have watched Aomine’s matches, noticing there’s something odd with him at times, like he wasn’t trying his best like he did with you

after a heartfelt talk with Momoi, you do feel like he needs to get out of that mindset on his own, since his stubborn personality wouldn’t listen to you and you knew that from the amount of one-on-ones you played with him

then the Winter Cup came and Seirin won in their “revenge match” against Touou, and you were captivated by Aomine going ALL OUT in that match (you also took some notes to use for your own tennis matches)

Aomine drags both you and Momoi to buy some new basketball shoes after Touou’s loss, and from that point on, both of you are technically practicing basketball together, but like… you’re not complaining because you’re getting extra cardio in

you get better at basketball, enough to even beat him once in a blue moon in one-on-ones, but then he wins the rest of the matches against you tenfold LOL

Momoi loves you because you’re one of his main motivators to practice

when Aomine himself tries to play tennis singles with you, it’s quite hilarious to see him missing the tennis ball every time when he serves because it’s so TINY but it’s so heavy?? so it falls to the ground quite literally if he’s not precise in hitting it LOL

gauging distance between the net, back of the court, the ball, and his arm positioning is a nightmare for Aomine because he’s used to grand courts and GIANT distances and TALL hoops, and him being precise and meticulous in a much smaller area feels so restricting

of course you whoop his ass in tennis, that’s a given

give him some time though, he’d be really good at it really quickly once he adapts to his surroundings

bonus: Koganei FREAKS out seeing you in the Winter Cup in the audience because you’re a literal tennis legend, and the entire Seirin team is going ???? at him // he totally fanboys a bit and asks you to meet with his Seirin teammates, and you agree because you wanted to meet the team who gave Touou and Aomine a run for their money

you do one-on-ones with Kagami because you’re curious, and when Aomine hears of this… it’d be a CHAOTIC scene once he storms over to drag you away from Seirin

extra bonus: it’s not unusual to see you use your tennis racket to thwack him in the head when he gets any funny ideas of staring at your teammates’ shorts/tennis skirts or when he’s doing anything dumb in general

[softrozene]

Hello luv. I just came across your blog and I was wondering if you could do a one shot or headcannon for crocodile? Maybe something along the lines of someone kidnapping his wife or something. Feel free to make it as angsty as you want. Thank you and have a great day.

Ahhhh I actually had to do a double-take at who sent this because guess what? I’m actually a fan of yours lmao. Not too long ago I read your All Might Omegaverse story on ao3 and it was soooo good omg. Anyway, you asked for angst? I hope I delivered! I did a one-shot but it was on the shorter side so I also did bonus headcanons! Hope you enjoy it Lovely and stay safe out there!

Sir Crocodile x Wife!Reader

Warnings: Angst, so much angst, mentions of violence and injuries, I made the ending neutral meaning it can be bad or good depending on how you feel :’) The bonus headcanons may help ease any heartache

Words: 1650

Crocodile stares down at the piece of paper with that everlasting scowl on his face. The words on it fill him with rage but his eyes remain emotionless. The question now, is how should he go about this? Slowly, his hands twitch alongside the piece of paper before his eyes flicker up to Nico Robin.

“Well… What are your thoughts on this sudden problem, Miss All Sunday?” He questions.

Robin merely smiles at his tone. He is angry, very angry, and she for one knows better to keep any information on this subject to him. She speaks in a calculating tone, “Whoever sent this has been tracking you for a long time if they know you are in Alabasta. However, they do know that you are respected across the country but did not know of your ties to Baroque Works. That can only mean that they know you from your past if they followed your name here. They must have known her too if they were able to capture her so easily-“

“Do watch your choice of words when speaking about my wife. (Name), could not have been captured easily even if she did know her kidnapper. She would have put up a fight,” Crocodile growls out momentarily losing his cool.

Robin only hums before she continues. “It says a time, a date, and a number. There is no location. They may be sending another note soon then. I expect that to be when they wish to meet with you and money. Mr. 0 I advise you to be careful. If they are from the past and still holding a grudge who knows what has happened to her. You even went the whole mile to make sure she was a safe distance. Their anger probably holds no bounds so prepare for the wor-“

“You are dismissed,” Crocodile cuts her off.

He can’t even bear the thought of her saying prepare for the worst. Robin leaves immediately and he is stuck in his dark office observing the stupid paper that holds his precious wife’s fate. Your fate.

Crocodile will not admit it with his organization- But you are truly his whole heart. You are one of the reasons why he has not completely fallen and why he has made sure you were so far away from him, actually at a home where you can be happy and hopefully soon be a mother with his kids, and not on the run with a Warlord like him. He thought you would be safe without the target on his back from the enemies he has made over the years but this proves not to be true and now he realizes that your true place is really by his side where he can protect you in a moment’s notice.

He will be damned if anything happens to you.

~*~

You do not know how much longer you can hold out for. It feels like it has been years since this group of pathetic pirates seeking revenge took you from your home and lit your home on fire. All because they wanted to see Crocodile in pain. The note they sent with your handwriting on it as proof they have you was a lie.

They made you write the time, date, and a money amount after making you write how you have been kidnapped by these people. How they are just looking for money Crocodile owes them for once taking out their entire ship and ruining their dreams. It truly was pathetic because they plan on having you half-dead by the time the date is supposed to be here.

You have a feeling it is soon from how weak you are. They have starved you, dehydrated you, watched you bleed, painted your skin black and blue, all for the sake of seeing Crocodile upset. You have been married to the man since he was a rookie, so you know they are doing this in vain.

He will never give them emotion even if he is painfully feeling it. They will see the satisfaction of him being hurt but with your observant eyes and knowing his true self you will see it painfully clear.

“Oi, have a little bit more fun with her will ya? I’m going to send the location- Be prepared to move her when I get back,” The boss of the whole kidnapping states.

One of the burlier men started to make his way back to you and you wish desperately that you can beg or plea with them but… It did not work the first time and it only made the men angrier. His large hand comes across your face and the numbing you had felt a bit ago is gone. The pain is so much from the previous beating that you can’t help but to cry out.

They enjoy that and as the boss leaves- You fear that your time may be running out.

~*~

Crocodile sighs as he finally gets to the location- Some abandoned building in Alabasta, near Rainbase. Your kidnappers really did want to get him that they hid right under his nose. He does not knock. He uses his Devil Fruit powers to enter the building and reform himself. Immediately, shots are fired but as always, they do not faze him.

“Still same tough boy, aren’t you?” The leader questions with a laugh.

With a bored expression, Crocodile glances around the room only for his eyes to fall on your unmoving form. It looks like you are barely breathing. The blood tainting your skill is enough to put him in a murderous rage, but he holds off.

The men standing idly are waiting for his expression to change but when it remains the same, they begin to sweat out of slight anxiety.

“In the note, it said she would be fine, but it appears she is dying. Not that it bothers me, if she truly let herself get kidnapped by you lot then her life was not worth much anyway. I will be disposing of the lot of you for wasting my time. In your next life make sure whatever you have hostage actually has meaning,” Crocodile states in monotone.

There is no mercy as he has the floor made of sand beneath them open and up and swallow them. This truly was a waste of time for him and his anger grows as he makes his way over to your form. Your eyes are trying to stay open and he kneels down beside you to pull you onto his lap.

You recognize the anger in his eyes but ignore it as you give him a weak smile. Your hand comes up to cup his face and he immediately leans into it, the warmth for you, showing in his eyes now that he can let his guard down.

“I am pathetic, aren’t I? Getting kidnapped by these idiots. I am sorry to make you worry so much,” You say in between wheezes.

Crocodile adjusts him and you so he can help you sit up and hopefully breathe better. If you are wheezing in a pile of your own blood- It just is not a good sign at all. He can see how fatigued you are, and he hates it for not finding you sooner.

“You aren’t pathetic. These lowly scumbags were. I commend you for staying alive for what they did to you and when you recover, I will lavish you with the attention you deserve. I will never let you out of my sight again,” He promises.

Your hand has trouble sliding up his face to mess up his gelled back hair, but you did it with struggle. You mumble, “Dear, I believe you me if, not when. I am not feeling too hot right now.”

“Really? I think you look divine as always. Enough talk. Save your strength. I will have my associate, Miss All Sunday help us go to a private clinic so they can work on you,” Crocodile states.

In his mind, there is no possibility of you dying so you no longer try to tell him how you are slowly fading away. Nico Robin as she enters the room, for once, does not have the heart to say anything witty as she sees an innocent woman slowly perishing all while her husband is denial. If luck is on their side, you will survive but- When has a man who lost his hand and with ever-growing arrogance ever have luck?

For your sake, Robin is hoping that you are his good luck charm.

Bonus Headcanons:

Okay so yeah, much like in the one-shot if Crocodile had a wife who was kidnapped- He would be boiling with anger

He would look all calm at first but the moment he saw the damage he would murder everyone on sight for daring to hurt his precious person

He would be more caring if he wasn’t y’know trying to take over Alabasta for the weapon but since he is in this one-shot that is why he tries so hard to pretend he does not care

He totally would go ballistic

He is possessive and he hates the idea of someone else touching his wife

For the sake of the one-shot, I had his wife away but as I said in the prior point he is possessive so he would definitely have eyes on his wife all the time- She is one of his only weaknesses so he would protect her at all costs

Here is a fluff idea! He would love just giving his wife items of luxury- It just makes him happy knowing he can provide for her even if he is doing it with blood money since he is a bad guy

He would also remember every important date that has to do with him and his wife so he can lavish her on said dates

[captainsaltyparis]

GX Month Day 5: “Pass the Salt”

I can’t art much so I haven’t done anything else for other days but what I am good at is being sad at things so here we are!

Most of my wishes are for season 4. Season 1 is pretty bad but the show wasn’t quite sure what it wanted to be so we got a show that was half cute happy slice of life and half dark but with villains that mostly got no development, but on the other hand the cute happy slice of life stuff is necessary to make season 3 so sad. Season 2 had maybe too much exposition but that’s kinda whatever. Season 3 is perfect and I’d probably change at most really minor things.

Season 4 though! Season 4 got really hurt by being rushed because you can tell the writers wanted to do two things in it: a) have Judai push through depression with the help of his friends and enjoy duelling again and b) simultaneously fight the world ending threat of Darkness. Cramping those two things together was never going to go particularly well, so parts of season 4 feel really unsure where they want to go, and I think that’s only really fixable with either more episodes or ditching one of the themes...but to ditch one of the themes you either end up back with slice of life or Judai being constantly depressed, and neither of those sounds great for s4.

The final fight with Darkness was terrible, as well. His deck feels really thrown together and the majority of the fight is him using a dumb gimmick, Yubel going ‘lol ur using a dumb gimmick? arent you meant to be a god?’ and then his dumb gimmick getting beaten. Like really, this guy is the big threat? Fujiwara may have been an absolute idiot for thinking he could somehow turn Judai and Johan against each other but at least his deck felt cohesive and strong. (And on that note, one thing I’m sad about is they only ever kept hinting at Judai/Johan, and of course I know they’d never have been able to do anything about that. Even today, I wouldn’t have expected them to confirm anything, but I’m still going to be sad about it.)

So basically, my ultimate wishlist would’ve been: full length season 4, Fujiwara is the mid-boss and there’s some slice of life episodes with him, Ryo and Fubuki after he loses where he gets rehabilitated, also get to see how Ryo is handling being disabled now. Move the ‘Judai has to re-learn how to have fun’ stuff to post-Fujiwara, add in Edo vs Trueman and such prior to the Fujiwara fight (honestly, Edo losing off-screen is so sad), and keep Johan around for a bit for some slice of life because those two boys deserve some happiness after season 3, and to be honest, even though season 4 hits you with the ‘only Yugi can remind Judai to be happy’ thing (for some reason), I really feel like Johan could have done it too.

For the final boss, then, you could either use Darkness still but build him up a bit more (and maybe give him an actual deck rather than make him a gimmick lord), or change it up since it doesn’t necessarily have to be connected to Fujiwara now. Its kinda weird as well that the final boss is Darkness, given that’s also Judai’s power, and I know ‘the dark of one’s heart’ and ‘the Gentle Darkness’ are different things, but its still a bit strange thematically? Plus it meant there was no final showdown between Judai, Yubel and the Light. 

Oh, and one other thing, it was kinda weird that season 4, for the majority of it, went with the idea that ‘Judai and Yubel are now entirely one’ and so we didn’t see Yubel until the very end. Like, I feel like we’d either expect to see 0 Yubel (because they’re now one and can’t be separate) or a decent amount of Yubel (because they’re one but still seperate and so Yubel will help when they can). Think they should have committed one way or the other, or at least had some throwaway line about ‘Yubel was recovering so couldn’t appear for a lot of it’. 

So there you go, there’s my salty rant on season 4 and what I’d change. Feel free to call me a moron in the replies if you disagree on anything lmao

[insanelycooljk]

You mentioned ⚡⚡⚡was the worst for angst so now I Have To Ask

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it  

Ok I definitely only mentioned that because I was hoping someone might ask about it lmao. I’d argue that this is more like... hurt than angst, but it’s gonna be hurt/comfort, so hopefully the sweet moments make up for it. You can expect a lot of soft kleinsen lol.

This one it was like 3am and there was a huge storm outside. I was sitting by my window watching the lightning, I’d just finished reading Trying Through the Trauma and a particular scene was on my mind (if you’ve read it you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t I highly reccomend it because that fic is wonderful, the world-building is INSANE).

So given all of that, plus my apparent desire to just hurt all the characters I love, my brain was like “hey... what if Jared got struck by lightning?”

Which I KNOW sounds absolutely ridiculous and like some kind of crack fic, but just bare with me here ok.

For maximum angst, the fic begins with Jared storming out of Evan’s house after a fight.

I haven’t worked out all of the details of the fight yet, but basically there was an attempt at an apology/discussion of Evan’s letter that didn’t go so well and things got a bit heated.

Jared’s hurt and angry, so he runs away because that’s what he does.

It’s absolutely pissing down, it’s at least a 15/20 minute walk back to his house, but Jared’s a stubborn bastard and he just needs to get out of there.

Evan’s stuck in his head trying to process how the hell that went so badly, because he’s hurt and angry too, but then a particulary loud clap of thunder snaps him out of his thoughts. He’s not sure why the hell Jared walked here instead of drove (it was because he wanted the extra time to try and plan what he was going to say to Evan), but Heidi will kill him if she finds out he just let Jared walk all the way home in this weather.

So he runs outside after Jared to tell him to stop being an idiot and at least just wait until it stops raining so much

And of course Evan catches up with Jared just in time to see him get struck

Evan is just frozen in absolute horror because what the fuck. What the fuck. Who the hell gets struck by lightning!? That just doesn’t happen in real life. What the fuck.

His brain finally catches up to him and he rushes over to Jared who’s just convulsing on the ground.

Evan’s hands are shaking but he manages to call 911. Once the ambulance is on their way he’s just staring helplessly at Jared still seizing on the ground, and all he can think is Jared is going to die and the last thing they did was fight.

Another minute or so passes and Jared’s seizure suddenly ends. Evan’s just holding his breath because he has no idea what he should do. Being a nurse and all, Heidi’s taught him how to do basic CPR incase of emergencies, but Evan’s in such a state of panic that he can’t do anything

And then Jared opens his eyes. It takes a second for the pain to catch up to him, the ringing in his ears is loud and oh fuck everything hurts his whole body is on fire

Evan is freaking the fuck out now that Jared is awake and crying, and he’s desperately trying to comfort him and is begging the ambulance to hurry the fuck up. And god this is so much worse now that Jared’s conscious, because Jared just doesn’t break down. The last time Evan probably saw him cry was when he stacked it on his bike when they were kids (unless you count the unshed tears shining in his eyes during their gfy fight and most recent fight, which Evan is pointedly NOT counting lmao, he can’t deal with that right now)

Anyway, the paramedics finally arrive and give Jared some serious painkillers and take him to the hospital because honestly they’re not really sure what to do either. It’s not like there’s a special “lightning strike survivor” class in the paramedicine curriculum lol. Jared didn’t go into cardiac arrest or anything so that’s a good sign, but he’s obviously in pain and he’s got some really nasty burns that need looking at so he’s clearly not fine.

And of course, for more maximum angst, they take him to the hospital Heidi works at. Because of course they do. Heidi’s had a fairly quiet night at work, or at least as as quiet as it can be working at a hospital. But then she overhears something about a kid who got struck by lightning!? And Heidi is like damn… well that doesn’t happen every day. She’s currently on her break but she’s understandably pretty curious, so she decides she’ll just go see what’s going on.

Which of course leads to her finding an extremely distraught looking Evan who is absolutely drenched, and any other thoughts are gone from her mind instantly.

Evan all but collapses into her arms. She’s holding him tightly as he just sobs and sobs and he’s shivering and so cold and why is he so wet? And obviously Heidi just wants to be there for him but the she’s starting to panic and she needs to know what’s wrong. She pulls away, still holding his shoulders tightly, to look him in the face.

“Evan, honey talk to me. What happened?” And he just manages to choke out “It’s Jared, it’s…. he,” but he can’t get the words out because he keeps being interrupted by his own sobs. And now Heidi is really worried because what happened with Jared? Is he ok? “He…” Evan can’t continue because he just lets out this choked cry and breaks into even harder sobs. Which causes Heidi to promptly pull him close again.

Evan is just, exhausted. Like, he was so tense and upset after the fight with Jared, and then THAT happened, and he’s been doing his best to not completely fall apart so he could explain what happened to the paramedics, but it’s just all so much, and all he wants his mum to hold him and tell him everything’s going to be ok.

“He’s hurt,” Evan says finally once his breathing is bit more under control and he can finally speak again. “He…. there was lightning and, and-”

And Heidi’s heart just stops because she suddenly remembers the boy that supposedly got struck by lightning and she does not like where this is going.

Jared’s mostly ok physically. He’s got some really nasty burns and he’s in a lot of pain, plus the strike was super loud so he’s got some bad tinnitus, but nothing that really needs monitoring. So he’s only in the hospital for a couple of days.

However, the thing with lightning strikes is it can do a lot of weird neurological damage that scientists and doctors don’t really understand yet. So a lot of survivors suffer from things like personality changes, mood swings, memory loss and chronic pain.

So in terms of symptoms for Jared he struggles with chronic pain. It’s not like a low-level constant pain, it’s more episodes where he’s in extreme pain for a short period of time and then it fades away again. He got struck on his shoulder, so the pain flares up on his shoulder and down his arm on that side of his body.

His burns take a while to heal, and whilst his tinnitus gets much better it’s always there to an extent. He’s also got some issues with fatigue, it’s not terrible but he definitely gets tired more easily than he used to.

Jared doesn’t really have any issues with like, personality changes or anything, but the whole experience was pretty tramautic, so his mental health definitely isn’t great right now.

Obviously, Jared’s pretty fucking terrified of thunderstorms now. He pretty much just refuses to leave his house if there’s a storm.

One time he’s driving himself and Evan home from school and it starts raining and he just – refuses to leave the car. There’s not even thunder but the sky is dark and it’s raining pretty heavily and Evan’s all like “It’s ok, come on. It’s two metres. Just take my hand and we’ll run inside together ok?” And poor Jared is having a panic attack, just gasping for air, and he’s shaking his head and saying “I can’t.”

And Evan kinda tries a couple more suggestions to coax him inside, because like they literally just have to walk from the driveway to Evan’s front door. There is a 0% chance that anything would happen in the 5 seconds it would take to get inside, and there isn’t even any thunder, it’s just raining heavily.

Eventually he gives up and they just sit in the car together waiting for the storm to pass. Evan can’t help but think how ironic it is that he’s the one who has to help Jared through his own panic attacks now.

But the main complications Jared struggles with are the cognititve issues. Jared’s always been pretty smart and has done well in school, so he finds it really hard to deal with.

He REALLY struggles with his memory at first. Mainly short-term memory. He’ll do things like make lunch multiple times because he forgot he ate already. He struggles with reading and writing and keeps tripping over his sentences. It all improves a lot over time, but it never quite gets 100% better.

But yeah, that’s kind of the hardest part for Jared because it’s just frustrating and confusing. It causes him a lot of distress because it makes him feel so stupid.

One time when he’s really struggling with it, maybe whilst trying to do work for school, Jared just breaks down about it because he just feels so frustrated. He ends up crying into Evan’s shoulder and going “I just want to be better”

Evan says nothing, because he’s been doing an obsessive amount of research and the truth is Jared might not ever be “better” again, and he doesn’t want to lie to Jared. Well, he certainly wants to, we all know about Evan’s lying issues lmao. He desperately wants to tell Jared comforting lies like “it’s ok” and “there’s nothing wrong with you” and “of course you’ll get better” but he holds his tongue because he knows he can’t lie to Jared, not about this.

ANYWAY ahahaha, I got a little carried away with this one but I’ve got a LOT of feelings about it. It will end up with kleinsen because I couldn’t resist, so on that note I do have just one last point I HAVE to share 🥺

So a lot of people who get struck by lightning end up with these really kind of beautiful looking scars called Lichtenberg figures. They normally only last a day or two (although I did read about one guy where they lasted like a month) but uhh.... I will be taking some artisitic liberities there lmao because imaging Evan gently tracing over Jared’s scars when they finally get together? Good shit.

[whereconfusionisarhyme]

First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

NO

NO

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

Oh

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

[neluun]

I'm 50/50 on the whole situation she really should have taken the time he offered her to talk about it even if he wasn't on her side about it she still should have taken that opportunity instead of avoiding the topic just because he didn't agree on it and Sam's got a point it's not gonna fix its self as she said herself they were friends and misses hang out with Chiara if you truly if anything have any friendship to save with her and truly wouldnt you actually go and talk to them about it.

I think so too. Just like she’s avoiding Chiara because of her fear of confrontation, she avoided that discussion with Samuel. I’m gonna do bullet points here because my mind is a mess lol but:

If we gotta be honest, Winter acted like a baby. Samuel asked her what was wrong and if she really didn’t want to discuss the matter, she could’ve said “Blablabla… But at the end of the day, it’s between me and her.” Then Samuel would have either dropped the whole thing or he would’ve asked: “well, do you still want my take on it?”. 

Like I said, I hate this kind of behavior because it’s just so frustrating. If Samuel had agreed with her, Winter would’ve 10/10 talked about it. But because she quickly noticed that he disagreed with her, she kinda hid behind excuses. “I don’t wanna argue.” & “I don’t want to talk about it” like bro…. yes u did. don’t make me feel like a nosy fool lol. sigh. 

Samuel is also very frustrating because you can’t just cancel the date when/every time a contestant pisses you off. She’s 21, he’s older, he knows better lol. I don’t know how to explain it but just taking a mental note of her shit & going on with the date would’ve been the best thing in my opinion. He lowkey missed opportunities to see Winter good sides when he stopped the date at the first bad thing she did. And it’s not very fair for (to?) her.

While Samuel is in the wrong for canceling the date, I personally think he’s right for everything else (“Is that how you’re gonna act every time we disagree on things?”). If you bring up something to a convo, you can’t expect your loved ones to either always be on your side or, if that’s not the case, to drop the whole thing. Arguments aren’t the best thing in the world but if they’re done correctly (with an open mind, which Samuel always has) and with 0 intention of hurting the other (which again, Samuel never wants to hurt anybody lol), they can be quite healthy for the relationship. Healthier than shutting down and just accumulating issues on top of issues like she currently does if that makes sense. They also make each person grow. That’s what Samuel thinks and it’s gonna play a huge part in this Winter situation.

At the end of this show, there’s a wedding. It’s very important to note. It’s a relationship for life and sadly, there’s no such thing as the perfect couple. Every human being comes with their qualities but also flaws/issues. And I’m a huge believer that part of the deal is not only “love”, but you also gotta make sure that you’re ready to live forever & accept fully the other for who is. You gotta make sure that your partner has flaws you can “handle” or at least, that you can “handle” the process of them growing and getting a better person (and it goes both ways).

On the Chiara side of things, I def feel like Winter is being a baby again by avoiding the situation. Yes, you’re mad but before jumping on the “I can’t forgive her” conclusion, you actually gotta hear an apology lol. I think it’s important to hear whatever the other has to say before taking extreme measures. Especially when your loved ones/friends are involved. But it’s a tv reality show and sadly, true friendships are rarely a thing.

Sorry, it’s lengthy as fuck but I kinda used your ask as a thought dump lmao. But yeah lmao. There you have it!

[guess-ill-die-again]

top ten kagepro songs?? 0:

*rubs hands* u now i read your whole wall of text about this? well now its my turn c:

warning half of this post is just about Shinigami Record bc i’m looking WAAY too deep into it but honestly i love doing that gbdhsg that part has over 500 words and im not sorry

Disclaimer: The first few don’t have numbers bc I just CANNOT choose a favorite ok ngsdhjgs

Shinigami Record - I’m gonna start with this one because i was already planning on making a post about how underappreciated this song is… half of this post is probably gonna be about this song alone so i might as well put it as nuumbr one tbh

Musically it’s really simple and just so amazingly gentle. I feel like the slow piano and the way its played in the verses helps to convey Azami’s feelings really well. It starts as just a bunch of lonely piano notes, but then as Azami finds someone who loves her, feelings grow and change, so does the guitar replace the piano for the second verse. Then the harmonies for the part when Azami creates the Kagerou Daze make it feel not only more mystical but also give it more emotion. She creates it filled with love for her family after all, this part needed to have a lot of emotion in it! But then it quiets down and the lonely piano returns.. the guitar and piano interlace each other(i cant find a good english word for it im sorry) while Azami’s voice is growing more unsure and then ‘gasps’ with the realization, in a way. The harmonies return and we hear both the lonely piano and the love-filled guitar. Azami is really conflicted and u can HEAR that!! Then it bursts with the pitch change and you can just hear how heartbroken she is! the highest note really reminds me of when people are trying to sing but they’re crying so their technique is egh but it has so much emotion?? idk maybe its just IAs voice… and then after she sings “I still love you” theres a drop that sounds like slamming doors and the guitar is GONE. It ends on the same lonely piano we started with(different pitch blahblah i know ok) but there’s also the added noise that you can either hear traffic in, OR the sea/ocean waves. I KNOW im reading way too much into this but traffic could allude to our time, where the main story is set and the fact that what Azami did has consequences reaching much further than she could have ever imagined but also that despitwat happened, most people don’t even know about her story and everythings… well, normal. The sea waves would be just like the world she’s come to love and she’s leaving it all behind i guess lolThe way this song tells Azami’s story is uh, very simplified, but i think it works well. It gives you enough information to feel sorry for her even if it doesn’t really explain much. We only see Azami’s perspective so i’m not surprised or disappointed that reasons behind Tsukihiko’s disappearance arent really stated. Also i’m kind of glad it doesn’t delve deeper into the story, because i personally really didn’t like these chapters of the manga at all lol bc i didnt agree with the characterization and it didnt show Azami’s loneliness as much and kind of ruined the magic. I like Azami’s story when its still told as a kind of fairytale…This is also probably THE best Kagepro song in terms of tuning, too. idk what happened but i feel like here it’s much more soft than the other songs which makes it all the more enjoyable.

one day i’ll write a full essay on this…

I’m not gonna go that deep into any of the other ones dont worry

Remind Blue - Easily the best song on the Mekakucity Reload album. While i adore Additional Memory as well, my heart belongs to Remind Blue. Because the range isn’t that big, Miku’s voice and Jin’s tuning of don’t get overbearing. Im also a sucker for lyrics connecting to past events or symbols so the whole time reading the translation i was just lying in bed like kermit surrounded by heart emojis. I may or may not make a cover of this one…

Lost Time Memory - I feel like all that could be said about this song has already been said so I’ll just say i love it. I was introduced to it through Juby’s english cover(Classical Rock Arr. version!! thats important, i love this arrangement probably more than the original but the dude who made it just doesnt have a nice voice for this song… Juby’s not perfect but this cover’s good enough) an really this is the song that made me want to learn about Kagepro so there’s a lot of pure nostalgia connected to this one.

4. Ayano’s Theory of Happiness - whenever i tell someone new about kagepro i always say this is the song that makes me cry and laugh the hardest. I laugh a lot because of the tv anime version bc lmao every time i see it i LOSE IT gndnsdgs The reason i cry is quite obvious i think, but i still feel the need to specify it’s because of the lyric “so I hope you can love tomorrow”. It’s just such a simple thing but it makes me tear up 99% of the time. And like the thing is, the last couple of lines aren’t directed at any particular character either so its like she’s singing to us. She hopes we can love tomorrow as well… and just for you Ayano, I will try.

Also MARiA’s cover is the best one i barely listen to the original now lmao

5. Summertime Record - did i mention im a sucker for lyrics where the character is looking back at what happened? bc yeah i am. This song is really dear to my heart for some reason so much so that when at a camp with the choir ive been in for like 6years we were supposed to make a little song about it for the last campfire, i managed to get my friends to write the lyrics to this song with me and i think that in itself is very fitting to this song. and just.. yeah the whole thing just feels very welcoming and I love Haruka so

6. Children Record - BOYS👏 AND👏 GIRLS👏 yeah this song staight up slaps and i love it (altho i mostly listen to the version with MARiA bc the tuningin this one :’) its realy good go listen) and uh yeah its just a really good opening to the series! idk what to say exactly so uh really lets not drag this out

7. Additional Memory - so when this song came out i had to lay down for like a week bc just… woah yeah ok!! all the motifs and melodies from other songs just hit me so HARD and THE PV OH MY GOOOD i was SCREAMING! and youre absolutely right about the lyrics!! “if this were all a misunderstanding, i don’t want to hear it” just HITS and HURTS and GOD YEAH

8. Kagerou Days - ahh classic above classics…. the one where you’ve set your expectations for Hibiya to just be a good childhood friend only to have it be crushed by other media… its just a great base for angsty AUs for anytwo cahracters that care about each other really and i love it! also like when i first listenedi was like what and when i realized whats happening i was just…  poetic cinema guy but with hearts i really love angst huh

9. Headphone Actor - I don’t know what to say apart from I love Takane, I love the whole Harutaka story, I love the metaphor and the music and I have a little lesbian moment every time i listen to LiSA’s version of the song(THE WAY SHE SHINGS “Dokoka e to mukatteru”??? IM TOO GAY FOR THIS SHIT I CANT) and its 3:30am so i cant think anymore okbut god i love LiSA’s voice

10. Never Lost Word - ah the kinnie really jumps out here lmao this is the song i listened o and was just !! it me!! which… NOT a good thing if not for the last verse lol but yeah i just identify with kido a lot so like…i just really felt this song back when i first listened to it and even now i still do… just… yeah. and i just really like it in every way i guess lol

ALSO Shoutout to Gunjo Rain and Dead and Seek for beeing other tragically underappreciated Kagepro songs bc they dont have PVs