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Timothy Barr (American, born 1957)

"The Heart of the Matter", 2023.

Oil on Panel, 30.25 × 34 in. (76.8 × 86.4 cm)

Private Collection.

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last time my mom visited I was talking to her about parenting and how I appreciated a lot of the choices she and my father had made about raising me and my brother and she agreed that just listening to the child and taking them seriously was the One Weird Trick to cutting out like 60% of conflicts between parents and children. and she said one time I was about three or four years old and we were all going to the grocery store, and at the threshold of the store I just had a meltdown. i was overwhelmed, I was crying, I was just at the end of my rope like kids get sometimes. and instead of dragging me through the store my mom and dad stopped what we were doing and just asked me what the problem was. and I was able to say I didn't want to be there, I couldn't do it, I wanted to go home. and she says she and my father just looked at each other and back at me and said "okay" and we all went home that day instead of forcing the grocery store trip. and I had so few public meltdowns as a kid despite being pretty autistic because, I think, I knew that if I ever really needed to leave, my parents would understand and back me up. and that was the case throughout my childhood. which paradoxically (one might think) resulted in me having fewer incidents of being overwhelmed in the first place, which then made me better able to handle increasing amounts of stress and so on. it also taught me that expressing feelings and communicating them to my caretakers wasn't going to be punished or ignored or called weird, so unlike many other autistic kids who get judged or rebuked for expressing sensitivity or opposition, I didn't need to constantly blockade everyone and internalize everything all the time.

it's a pretty simple concept whether your kids are autistic or not, but most parents don't seem to get it. their parents taught them to just force everything and let the child deal with it alone so they just repeat the cycle even though they know how it feels.

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Confused, she emailed Columbia’s office for international students the following day seeking guidance. An official informed her that the revocation would take effect only if she left the country and that she could remain in the United States to pursue her studies for the time being, according to emails reviewed by The Times. The next morning, on March 7, Ms. Srinivasan was on a call with an official from the international student office when the federal agents first knocked on the door of her apartment, which is off campus but operated by Columbia. The official told Ms. Srinivasan to call campus security, while her roommate engaged with the agents from behind the closed apartment door. In an interview, her roommate said that the agents had initially identified themselves as “police,” declined to provide their badge numbers, saying they feared they would be doxxed, and stood to the side of the door so that they were not visible through the peep hole. The roommate, a fellow Columbia student who spoke on the condition of anonymity out of fear for her safety, said that the building’s doorman, who is an immigrant, later told her that he had let the three agents into the building because he was frightened. Ms. Srinivasan abandoned the apartment that night, so she was not there when officials returned the following evening. Her roommate once again refused to open the door to let them in and recorded audio of the interaction, which she shared with The Times. “We were here yesterday,” one of the officials says, believing he was talking to Ms. Srinivasan because the roommate had not identified herself. “We’re here today. We’re here tonight. Tomorrow. You’re probably scared. If you are, I get it. The reality is, your visa was revoked. You are now amenable to removal proceedings.” The official stressed that he and his colleagues were not trying to break the law, that she would have the right to go before an immigration judge and left a phone number for the Homeland Security Department that she could call if she had “a change of heart.” “That’s the easiest and fastest way to do this, as opposed to you being in your apartment and us knocking on your door every day, which is just silly,” he said. “You’re a very smart person. It’s just not — it’s not worth it.” The next day, Ms. Srinivasan received an email from Columbia saying that homeland security had alerted the university that her visa had been revoked and her legal status in the country had been terminated. Because she had to immediately leave the United States, the email said, her enrollment at Columbia had been withdrawn and she had to vacate student housing. The email, signed by the university’s international student office, said that, in compliance with its legal obligations, Columbia was asking her to meet with the homeland security agents. The university declined to comment on Ms. Srinivasan’s case. On Thursday night, three federal agents returned to Ms. Srinivasan’s apartment with a search warrant signed by a judge and went inside to search for her, according to her roommate and lawyers. By then, Ms. Srinivasan was already in Canada.

Laudable roommate, prudent visa holder and terrible college administration

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i don’t have the icon change that y’all are complaining about on my tumblr app. maybe cuz i’m on an iphone?

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Engelbert Lap（Austrian, 1886-1970）

Wooden Cottages in the Snow  colour woodcut     via

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this is entirely true whether or not there was a ceasefire: trump has been silencing pro-palestine activists on arbitrary basis because israel has lost public favor and was not likely to regain it anytime soon, and their only current media strategy to accomplish their genocidal goals is to silence palestinian sympathy and render it dangerous. no matter what israel does or does not do over the next few days, weeks and months, the only way it regains standing with the american public is through violent enforcement and not persuasion

this was a strategy laid out already by the democrats, but trump has escalated it in the manner of middle-eastern autocrats. make an example out of someone, prove that criticizing israel is now a crime that puts you beyond the reach of the first amendment, civil rights and due process, and watch everyone fall in line.

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a lot of people could stand to start viewing the nakba and the holocaust as a continuum rather than as competitive binaries

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a grave

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ah yes classical civilization. the single culture that ruled over the mediterranean for give or take a thousand years uniformly with no changes and that gave us everything from pure white marble statues to epic poems about the greatness of the motherland. i sure do love that classical civilization and this art from 1930s italy depicting its glory. fascism what do you mean fascism i voted for kamala

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my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

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Breaking | Dozens of Israeli airstrikes target Gaza City, with direct bombardment of residential homes.

Reports coming from civilians right now 💔😭

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Hylas and the Nymphs (1896) by John William Waterhouse

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Okay lets get down to brass tacks. No nuance.

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eating him

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Mean things I can’t tell my least-favourite coworker cause it would be hurtful and I’d feel bad

Sometimes the things you get worked up and angry about are so utterly inconsequential that they make me imagine a time before written language where I may have been carried off and eaten by leopards as a small child, and I feel a kind of strange longing

Do you ever want more from life or is this genuinely it for you

You give off the perpetual aura of a distant relative’s small and untrained dog which may either let you pet it or suddenly maul you with little to no warning at the drop of a hat and because of this whenever I see you nearby I can feel my asscheeks clench so if you could maybe wear a hat or vest of some kind to indicate whether or not you are in a bad mood I would greatly appreciate it

I have difficulty imagining you as a child. You are entirely without wonder or whimsy. I imagine you once broke off as a slab of granite from the side of a mountain and slid into an employment office where you remained for years until someone dressed you in a uniform as a joke and brought you to life exactly as you are like an irritable corporate Frosty the Snowman

My determination to treat others with kindness confronted with your determination to see only the worst in all my actions constantly forces me to reevaluate my moral principals in a way that is much like a crisis of religious faith, as though your existence were a tangible proof that God was never real

I cannot imagine that you are happy the way that you are. I want to believe that you are, but all evidence available indicates otherwise. Are you like this because you are suffering, or are you suffering because you are like this

Do you ever wonder about life beyond our constructed social prison. Do you ever find yourself gazing skyward in the rain. Have you ever felt tempted to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere on your way to work just to see what happens

I am glad that you are older than me because I think that if I wait long enough you may retire so I no longer have to work with you without something terrible happening to either of us

Do you ever think about how you’re gonna die someday or do you just perpetually live in the precise moment wherein whatever obstacle in front of you is at once both entirely novel and the most infuriating thing in all of existence, like a baby with no object permanence trapped in a revolving door

I’m going to be near you for the minimal amount of time required to accomplish this one task and if you could just pretend I don’t exist for that duration I think we’d both prefer that