#i know how tubbo feels now
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#speaking#sorry for being stupidly obsessed with a jpeg image but have you seen it it's literally perfect#joker head in hands dot jpeg is my amiga.... dot jpeg#i know how tubbo feels now
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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idk it’s like. yeah Bad, you should be talking about the cursed team. yeah Tubbo, you’ve got an excellent theory crafted here, a super solid argument that your team is cursed. but it’s no surprise that red will not hear you out, because blue’s relationship with red is just in such shambles. Bad has burned bridges and destroyed any sort of love, any sort of trust, any sort of anything. Pierre has spat on the flames. The fact they managed to have a genuine talk about the enchant agreement is a miracle (and only because it was half OOC in my opinion, and because Phil is the only one on red who will extend a bit of trust because he just doesn’t want to fight), but still hasn’t done much for blue’s favor.
everything that red has suffered when they have tried to talk, everything Bad has done to them specifically with ruthlessness in the name of victory, has now shown to have consequences. so yeah, blue could so be the cursed team, and Tubbo could be right to a terrifying degree and have it all figured out - it’s not gonna stop red from fighting because they can’t hear him out. how can they trust a thing he says? why would they talk to Bad now at the final hour? why would they sit there and show mercy when so often none has been shown to them?
it’s the name of the game. to tear them all apart and see just how far they’ll go. the eye wants them to burn bridges and turn on eachother in the name of victory, and Bad played very well. it’s a shame he represents more than himself, but an entire team. it’s a shame those bridges he burned might have been the ones they needed now that red is in the lead and has a chance of winning. yeah man, blue might be cursed, but red has found evidence in their own favor - and why on gods green earth would they take blue’s word when Bad has proven time and time again he will abandon honor for victory?
#it’s like yeah man. if only they had listened. who knows if blue or red is cursed but if only they could have talked#bad has spent this entire time burning bridges for blue and Tina and Tubbo try so hard to rebuild something but it’s just ash yknow#how can they possibly trust blue now. how can they possibly listen let alone give benefit of the doubt. give trust#now at the final hour diplomacy is near impossible because they all feel there are risks they cannot take#and red has such a resentment to blue and bad specifically#bad started with the mindset of ‘the underhanded tactics I use they’ll use too’ and abused it. now red expects underhanded tactics always#blue has gotten the reputation they’ll do anything for the win. bad has proven it time and time again. now at the final hour they have a#genuine reason they feel they need to win and they’d have to convince the other team to stop trying. diplomacy and trust#which they are severely lacking. and it’s sucks it does because bad is not the entirety of blue#and if blue really is cursed and red wins. the difference could have been having been on better terms earlier. whatever happens happens#sorry Tubbo was the fallout for today kfjsjfjd#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#q!tubbo#qsmp purgatory#z speaks
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man i open tumblr and the very first thing i see is ctommy neg. what cruel and evil world is this
#my post#IN TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY FOUR??#admittedly the post was from 2021 but still. good lird.#idk man maybe tommy was 'hypocritical' about how he treated others vs dream because. because dream kidnapped and abused and murdered him??#like i feel like thats a fair reason to not like someone#RATTLES THE BARS OF MY CAGE THATS IS NOT WHAT TOMMY MEANT BY 'YOU HAVE THICKER SKIN THAN ME'#he thinks tubbos better at handling all of it!! bcus tubbo doesnt TELL ANYONE ANYTHING#so tommy assumes bcus hes jumping a mile every time he takes damage and tubbos not that tubbos stronger than him! that hes worse than tubbo#slams my head into the floor. he doesnt know chat.#idk i hate when people pretend tommy is uniquely fucked up and evil and cruel. does he lash out does he do hurtful things does he say mean#things YES but not any more than literally everyone else on the server#head in hands. ok im good now im good im normal again.#ignore me im good all is well
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nobody is gonna see this but like two years ago i read a fanfic and in it badboyhalo was the daycare worker and every day i wonder if that person still watches mcyt and knows that they were so right cause here we are w qsmp and bbh is basically the daycare guy mf watches those kids
#qsmp#i know they’re missing rn#i like watched at the beginning#and then occasionally i watched stuff#but not as religiously as i used to watch other stuff#but recently w tubbo joining ive gotten back into more#idk i hope i get to a point where i’m having as much fun w it as i was dsmp#cause dsmp memories are kinda soured since that was a dumpster fire#but while it was ongoing i had so much fun#it prolly helps that i don’t interact w fandom spaces to be fair so i wasnt partaking in any drama i just watched from afar and shook my hea#but i used to draw so much dsmp just for me and i miss drawing that much#qsmp is so cool i just don’t have the same level w it as i did w dsmp and i feel like i accidentally got so behind#IVE SEEN EVERY SLIMECICLE STREAM THO LOL#i love how i watched the first day streams and i’m still way behind on lore compared to people who joined later#not in a grrr i was here first way cause gatekeeping is lame#just as a huh that’s kinda wild how that turned out#i’ve been watching tubbo streams as background noise tho#i never chat tho i have chat closed and i’ve done that for like the three years i’ve been watching twitch#so i also have trouble getting into streamers who solo stream cause they talk to chat and i ignore chat chat stresses me out#lol when dsmp exploded and the whole thing was that youtube viewers were on twitch now#that’s me#except like not in a these youtube people don’t know etiquette way just in a i treated it like youtube and avoided the twitch features way#i watch it like youtube i never look at chat i never type in chat i just watch the video#idk not interacting w social media is a curse and a blessing
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Do Unto Others by MSI gives me Elquackity vibes while Pt. 2 gives me Quackity vibes.
#qsmp#qsmp quackity#qsmp elquackity#elq act very holier than thou like the song#not necessarily in a moral scene but he just overall thinks he's superior/right and will try to do so in any means necessary#even manipulating people and do questionable mysterious things like kidnapping an egg etc etc.#the first verse feel so heavily elq to me because of the whole “jealousy” connotations the singer clearly has with “it should've been me”#elq goes a lot into how he IS quackity and will straight up deny anyone/become angry if someone says so otherwise#the phrase "do unto others' has heavy religious connotations but feels very displeased/livid when spoken throughout the song#steadily ramping up until it feels like a rage filled repetitive shout#the phrase means treat others how u want to be treated#but in both elq and q mind it would be the opposite bc in elq eyes the islanders/eggs wronged him while for q the federation did#“You did it unto me / And now I'm doin' it unto you” is very quackity-esque#he took his frustration of the federation out on fred and tubbo#calling tubbo a rat and kidnapping fred#the fact part 2 feels all jumbled and the words are breaking here and there is very quackity-esque after the fed brought him back#idk know why but q/elq with religious imagery is something neat to me i think its bc of the cross necklace/federation giving a certain vibe#sorry for tag rambling id rather not put in the actual post#/seed
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Tubbo: Oh! By the way, Chatters, I got invited to - um, I dunno if I'm allowed to say this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Uhhhh. Rubius invited me to - to uhhhhh, Squid Games 2. So that's quite cool. So I'm quite hyped for that.
Tubbo acaba de decir que Rubius lo invito a los Squidcraft Games 2!!!
#Tubbo#Rubius#MCYT#Y'ALL....IF YOU'RE ONLY IN THE ENGLISH SPEAKING COMMUNITY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HUGE THIS IS#LIKE. THIS IS SO MASSIVE#I had a strong feeling Rubius would invite Tubbo since Tubbo was interested and he's been slowly interacting more with the Spanish communit#(I mean he hasn't done any streams with any Spanish streamers like Karl did with Spreen but still he's practicing his Spanish and stuff)#but MAN THAT"S SO FRICKIN AWESOME#For context for those of you who may not know: Rubius is one of the largest Spanish streamers ever#He's a really cool dude and he's also Quackity's friend! :D#I gotta stop with the tags now I'm gonna get so emotional over this#I just love seeing the different communities interact#And Quackity had a big hand in making all the communities interact with one another and become even more international#proud of him :')
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man im just like. thinking about egg signs and how they've evolved over the course of the qsmp and how the qsmp has evolved over the course of the qsmp and just feeling so much love and affection for every part of the project. i dont have any grand overarching point with this just. like. here's a history of egg comms bc of the kind of person that i am
so wayyyy back ten months ago now at the start of the short and sweet egg event that was planned to last maybe a month at most, the eggs had their own custom, decorated signs!
[ID: Leo with a pink sign with an egg on the bottom corner that reads "hello" in all caps. Her nametag reads Leonardo. End ID]
They were extremely simple, single word signs. There was hello, hola, story, feed, sleep, and maybe one or two more and each was its own separate sign. The eggs could only communicate the most basic needs in words and everything else was through minecraft body language or just hoping their parents guessed right.
But obviously, there was a lot more that parents wanted to hear from their children. I'm not sure who was actually first, but the earliest departure from this system I know about is BadBoyHalo giving Dapper a simple oak sign so he could name his pet slime. (Screenshot from @/lxrd-ren)
[ID: Dapper wearing a diver's helmet standing next to a tiny slime in a boat with an oak sign reading "Bouncy (slmecicle but better)" End ID]
Parents quickly realized how much more convenient this was and pretty soon every single egg had stacks of signs to communicate with.
The next innovation came from Vegetta, who was the resident mod knower at the time. He knew about colored canvas signs and gave Leo signs in her favorite color purple because he loved her and gave her everything she wanted.
[ID: Leo's bed in her room under some Fooligetta fanart with a purple sign reading "<3" End ID]
Colored signs obviously had a lot of advantages. Being able to tell at a glance which egg placed which sign was a huge step forward in eggs being able to have long, complicated conversations as well as leaving obvious marks of their personality everywhere they went. It took a little while for them to be standard for every egg though. Bobby never stopped using oak signs even after Richas and Pomme both showed up with colored signs.
[ID: Two signs reading from right to left a red Pomme sign reading "we already started working on a guillotine factory" and a dark grey Dapper sign reading "thats the most french u have said so far pomme" End ID]
And this was the system for a while! And it worked pretty well for most people! The biggest struggle most people had was egg signs not being translated, but streamers adjusted to that by reading signs out loud so the translators would pick up on them. This also lead to adorable and fascinating dynamics like Richas swearing in signs he wrote for Bad and then warning Bad not to read them out. There was also the genuinely phenomenal development of Leolingo where Leo writes only in Spanish to Foolish because it's easier for her to write and he takes his time to puzzle his way through it and learn in a way that's super cool to watch someone else do onscreen.
Then Tubbo joined the server. And Tubbo himself had no problems at all with the system, but he is dyslexic and he casually mentioned offhand that it was getting kind of annoying to read signs after a ten hour long stream and the admin team Fucking Cooked.
Within 24 hours, they had TTS working on the signs. Within 48 hours, it was working on books too. I can't remember how long it took to get translation working, but it was definitely under a week.
And this opened up a whole new world of possibilities for the entire QSMP. The admin team has been on top of capitalizing on it for story purposes, but also just allowing the egg admins to speak in their native languages to everyone whenever they want has been so enriching for everyone involved. Leolingo is awesome but Foolish has been learning Spanish insanely fast and his process is a lot slower and more frustrating than most people can do in front of an audience of thousands of people without feeling discouraged. That's also one language. We've had everything from Foolish being able to check his work a bit more faster to Phil insisting on his eggs taking a day to speak to him in their native languages to Ramón writing a book for Fit in Cantonese, a language we haven't even seen on the server in any other context!
And all of it is fully understood and fully communicated! Sometimes the translators mess up but no one expects them to be perfect and people ask for clarification if the translator says something that doesn't sound right. It's not only a massive step forward in communication technology, but it's a great demonstration of how to use it and when you can and can't rely on it.
And finally, the most recent innovation! One of BBH's viewers sent him a dono saying they had trouble reading certain signs because they were too low-contrast. Bad, Richas, and Pomme just. Took it upon themselves to fix the problem right there and then. Based on One (1) bringing up their own personal struggle, those three came up with new signs that innovate tremendously on the originals.
[ID: Two separate images of the before and after. The first is the egg signs in their original colors with the corresponding egg's name written on them to demonstrate the font color and the second is in the new, higher contrast colors with the same text. The new signs also have custom decorations for each egg. The second picture also has two signs from Pomme in all caps that read "Send all the love to Richas he spent a whole night making this he's the best <3" End ID]
There are three main innovations visible in the above pictures
1: Obviously, the colors are higher contrast. The signs with white text have darker colors and the signs with black text have lighter colors.
2: The colors themselves are lower saturation. Richas said this made it easier for him personally to read them so he corrected that way, but that's open to change if it causes difficulties for more people than it helps
3: The decorations are for accessibility reasons! People with various different forms of colorblindness will find different sets of colors easier or harder to distinguish, but any of them can look at the decorations and use them to identify whose sign is whose instead.
But! Those innovations are not why I made this post! It's these ones!
[ID: The backs of the new signs when placed on the ground. Most visible are Chayanne's with vines and a hardcore heart, Sunny's with shining sunglasses, and Pomme's with an apple and the Eiffel Tower. End ID]
Richas added distinguishing marks to the backs of the signs too! This is something that Bad brought up specifically as something he wanted because it was hard for him to tell who was talking when he was using TTS from behind signs and couldn't see the colors at all.
We went from custom egg signs (a hotbar or so of words and nothing else to communicate with) through a long journey of expanding communication and expanding who we're bringing along on the communication and how easily they can join in and we've circled all the way back around to custom egg signs (they can say anything they want in any language they want and anyone will know it's them saying it from any angle)
and i guess i have enough feelings abotu that to write All This about it
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Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.
they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.
we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.
the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.
quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.
quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.
At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.
#I have anons turned off btw#qsmp#qsmp discourse#qsmp admins#qadmin situation#qsmp critical#qsmp fandom critical
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Tommy tries not to stay too long because Mareep gets sad when she's lonely.
She can't tell him this - she's a sheep and all. But she shows it in the way she nuzzles her gentle head into Tommy's chest when he returns, as if she's trying to push out all those sharp and bunched up feelings that get stuck there. They're not bad feelings though. Not good feelings either.
Just feelings. A lot of fucking feelings.
But Tommy likes visiting the cabin. Even back when, it always felt so far removed from everything else. So quiet, not always in the positive sense. He loved it and he hated it. That seems to sum up about everything he remembers from that time.
(He went in once, the first time he visited. Not anymore. Everything was covered in dust, hollow and empty, and Tommy couldn't breathe for reasons beyond the stifled air.)
Being there doesn't hurt the same.
Tommy still marvels at that. Yes, it still hurts and yes, it always will. But there's more than the hurt now. He remembers the laughter and the stupid jokes and the bench and Henry and man, does it feel as if he's aged a decade. He hasn't. He's young. And there's so much ahead of him.
Then the snow shifts behind him with the soft crunching of footsteps. He turns around, and a person Tommy has thought about pretty much every other day for the last eight months is standing against the treeline.
"Hullo," Technoblade says, as if they have seen each other yesterday. He looks a little less exhausted, and a little less jumpy than Tommy has ever seen him before. Tommy's hand curls around the handle of his sword and then relaxes.
"Hey," he says. Then he swallows. "I didn't know you still came around here."
"I don't," Techno says. "Just came to pick up some stuff I left behind."
"Yeah?"
Techno walks around him in a little arch, and in a way that keeps him facing Tommy at least from the side, never the back. Tommy hates that this is who they are now.
And then Techno scoffs lightly, kicking at some rocks Tommy had been piling into a tower once when he was deep in thought. "Bruh, you're not ruining my property value again, are you?"
Automatically, Tommy laughs. Bright and sudden, and sincere. "Wha- Fuck you, you just said you don't live here anymore."
"I could be on my landlord arc," Techno says dryly.
Tommy should leave it at that. The part deep inside him that still feels raw and scared - as if he's sixteen again and the ocean is endless before him - recoils at all of this. But Tommy knows that part of him can be wrong, sometimes, in how it reacts to things. In how it refuses to embrace change.
"What have you been doing?" he asks. Techno watches him for a moment, a little guarded. He shrugs.
"Farmin'," Techno answers after that small second of hesitation. "Hibernating. Just doing my own thing, away from everybody. I'm done being hounded by people." He brushes some hair from his face, longer now than when he was living on this server. Tommy doesn't think he has never seen Techno without fresh scars or bandaged knuckles. It suits him.
"Sounds nice," Tommy says. He thinks about his little cottage, and Tubbo's honey, and how he's been starting to grow his own flowers.
"It is," Techno agrees.
Tommy leaves quickly after that. But when he returns two days later, there is a glint of round netherite hanging from one of the fence post. A compass with an emerald inlaid in the back, that points to a place very far away.
Tommy doesn't think he's quite ready to follow it. But someday he will be.
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I don't want to hold anything against this specific person, because I Remember the discourse that lead to this and I know exactly how it could get passed around and warped (either through telephone or someone's own memory shifting with time).
that said, I never liked that discourse specifically Because it was a clear misreading of the text, and what better opportunity do I have to talk about it now.
the context was the bench trio therapy stream. tommy had been beaten to death by dream, sat in limbo for months, and then revived and told Explicitly that dream was planning on escaping prison and tormenting the rest of the server.
the mindset that tommy is in is that he Has to do something, but he's deeply traumatized by what's happened to him. he's Scared to go back to the prison, but he has no choice but to do it for the safety of everyone else in the server.
the "therapy stream" was bench trio Trying to do exposure therapy on tommy to help him work through his trauma in the lead up to attempting to infiltrate the prison. and the entire point is that they Absolutely Were Not actually helping.
what they were Actually doing was triggering tommy by exposing him to things that he was traumatized by, because they didn't actually know how to do exposure therapy and what they were trying to do wasn't healthy in the first place.
so the Context of this conversation is tommy desperately trying to just, Get Rid Of his trauma (something that is absolutely not possible) while entering a worse and worse mindset because he was intentionally triggering himself.
Likewise, the context for Tubbo's half of the conversation is that he Very Intentionally represses his own trauma, both from Himself and from other people. he puts himself in a little box that he buries under the floorboards and asks people to ignore the way the boards creak when they walk on him.
there's a million ways you could cut Why he does this. part it is his people pleasing, willingly pushing himself down for the sake of everyone else no matter how painful. seeing Himself as an accessory to the people he cares about, rather than a whole complete and important person. and in part because it feels Safer, it's Safer to pretend that nothing hurt him.
and Why that is is complicated. part of it is External. he doesn't Get to be angry about what he's been through, because the people he's angry At will just hurt him again. and if he thinks about how he's hurt then he Will get angry, so he just Won't Think About It.
and part of it is that I don't think he wants to process his trauma any more than tommy does. because it's painful, because he doesn't have the tools to actually work through it, because they aren't Safe so he can't afford to break down now (trouble is, there never Seems to be a "safe" time to think about himself).
they're the Repression Brothers. the difference being that tommy's at a different stage of it. not a Healthy One, but different.
tommy spent months not being able to put into words what exile was, what pogtopia was, was the final control room was. and he still won't be able to put it in plain words for some time from here.
but he's reached the point where he Can't ignore it anymore, but he still doesn't know what to Do about it. he's still frustrated with an (to an extent) Ashamed Of his trauma. he feels Lesser Than he was before and wants it to all just go away and go back to Normal.
he's doing this because he Has To, because he Has to be strong enough to fight dream. because if he's too scared to do it then he'd be sacrificing everyone else's safety.
he and tubbo are doing the Same Thing in different fonts, sacrificing their well being for the people Around Them, including Each Other.
so, lets go back to that moment that started all of this.
the exposure therapy was on the final control room section, with tommy working through having been killed by dream.
tubbo mentions that he died that night too, and tommy says something to the effect of "you did, but you have thicker skin."
this has been taken out of context to mean "you did, but I have it worse than you," when IN CONTEXT it means "you did, but you're stronger than me," or more accurately "you did, But I'm Worse Than You."
tommy does not see his trauma in the context of stupid apologist discourse. he sees his trauma as something that makes him Worse, as something he Shouldn't Feel. as something that makes him Weaker than everyone else, who Obviously are so much more put together than he is.
when he says this he's not saying that he's more important than tubbo, he's putting himself down in comparison TO tubbo.
and this is absolutely still harmful ! This is legitimately one of tommy's character flaws ! but it is Not the selfishness that people make it out to be.
it's tommy accidentally hurting other people by seeing Himself negatively. it's an unhealthy relationship with mental health, and a Realistic one considering the circumstances and setting.
likewise, it's Just As Much born from tubbo's own unhealthy coping mechanisms. tommy assumes that what happened didn't bother tubbo the way it did him because Tubbo wants him to think that.
Tubbo doesn't let tommy see how much he's hurting, which in turn feeds into this cycle.
tubbo assumes he Has to shove his trauma down for tommy's sake (for the sake of Everyone he cares about), and so tommy assumes tubbo was just Stronger than him and wants desperately to just shove his own trauma away the way tubbo seems to be able to.
this moment IS tragic, it IS an example of the two of them hurting each other. but it's BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER !!!
Both Of Them are trying to be strong enough to protect the other, and it's Hurting Them. it's unhealthy, but it 's not Malicious. it's self-sacrificial not Selfish. it's not something they've done to each other but what's been done To Them by the world they live in. what they've done to Themselves trying to live in it.
this shouldn't have been a discourse moment, it should've been clingyduoers tearing each other apart in the street at the tragedy of it
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Gosh, I'm sure I'll get some discourse on this, but I'll just delete it if I do-
I feel like people forget that L'manburg tried to kill Technoblade.
Like, when they talk about the Tommy/Technoblade betrayal, some people act like Technoblade should have just walked away and shrugged off that Tommy joined the people who tried to murder him. And who still WANT to murder him. Like, remember, after the failed Execution, Quackity talked about how they needed to put killing Technoblade on the back burner because Dream was a bigger threat, but they still VERY MUCH WANTED TO KILL TECHNOBLADE.
Did Tommy know all this? No, he couldn't have known it. He wasn't there. And I think Tommy choosing to go back and make amends with Tubbo was the correct thing to do for himself. I don't think it was the best choice to abandon Technoblade in a crater surrounded by enemies that want him dead, but I do think that Tommy NEEDED to reconcile with Tubbo. That was always a step he needed to take. That's his Tubbo.
But, like, why does it seem like some people just wanted Technoblade to shrug and give Tommy a pat on the back and let him keep the axe? What kind of rational person hears "Actually, now that they'll have me back, I'm going to rejoin the group of people that dropped an anvil on your head! Their companionship is more important to me than your safety" and reacts positively?
Did Tommy say that, word for word? No. Again, he didn't know about all of the hurt L'manburg caused Techno. But that's the message his actions send. Tommy chose Technoblade's would be murderers. Tommy chose the people that would definitely try again to murder Technoblade.
Why would Techno take that positively? Why wouldn't he be angry? Why wouldn't he feel like Tommy doesn't see him as a person, only a means to an end? Whether you think his reaction of blowing L'Manburg up was correct or not, how could you expect Technoblade to be anything less than hurt and angry at that?
It confuses me.
#lenn writes#dsmp#i have no problems blocking people who act like differences in opinion are a moral attack#act right or get blocked I'm not arguing with you
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Real Talk
TW: Medical fatphobia, health issues, fat shaming, toxic masculinity
Dude, you say you want me to help you, but you’re going to have to get serious if you really want to start losing weight. I’m a trainer, not a miracle worker. I mean, look at you; you know your body’s fucking disgusting, right? You let yourself get so huge that even your fat guy clothes can’t hide your belly anymore. Every inch of you is covered in blubber. Everywhere you look. And you have to push all that fat around every time you want to walk or move. It’s so gross watching you try to go anywhere. You’re just waddling around under hundreds of pounds of fat, wheezing like you just ran a marathon. Like… people aren’t supposed to get to the size that you have. And don’t give me that “health at any size” bullshit. You’ve got to have some serious problems to get this big and think it’s ok. Nobody your size is healthy. Your body’s a fucking disgrace, tubbo.
You gotta realize just how bad being this fat is for you, right? Think about it. All that fat’s wrapping around your organs. Either they work harder, or they just quit working. Your joints are getting annihilated having to move all that extra weight around. Your heart’s having to work so much harder just to do its thing because you’re so fucking big. Your body’s not supposed to work like that. It feels like it’s under attack 24/7 — because it is — so you’ve got anxiety, you’ve got inflammation, your hormones are all out of wack. Your body chemistry is basically fucked once you get fat. And fucking forget about it when you weigh as much as three normal people, like your flabby ass does.
Not that you seem to care, since you pay zero attention to your diet. It’s just fucking scary, bro. I’ve seen you pound an entire pizza or a bag of burgers and be ready for more. And that’s just, like, a regular lunch for you. There’s so much saturated fat and sugar in all the shit you eat for every meal, it blows my mind that you’re even able to function. Where do you think that shit goes after you cram it down your throat, meal after meal? It’s blowing up your body even fatter. It’s clogging up those arteries to make that overworked heart work even harder. It’s running through all the insulin your body tries to pump out so that it can deal with the abuse you put it through. I bet if I went through your kitchen right now, I couldn’t find one goddamn vegetable — all sweets, and takeout, and chips, and junk food, am I right? Yeah, you love kicking back on the sofa and working through a big pile of garbage like that, don’t you, fatass? I bet you sit there just belly out, crumbs and shit all over your tits, like a big fucking blob, huh?
Keep eating like that, and you don’t have a fucking chance. You’re just gonna keep blowing up until you finally have the fucking big one. That shit is so, SO bad for you. You want to not be a total embarrassment, fatty? You’re gonna have to throw the snack cakes in the garbage. You’re gonna have to cook stuff that’s not loaded with butter or grease or sugar. You’re gonna have to eat something green that grows in the ground every once in a while. And yeah, you’re probably going to feel like shit for a while because your body’s used to getting fed lard nonstop all the fucking time. But you gotta get a little self-control. The whole reason why you look like a fucking enormous cow, why you’ve got that belly packed full of fat fucking garbage, is that you’ve never had any.
I guess what I can’t figure out is, why the fuck did you do this to yourself? It’s so much harder to make it through life when you’re this fucking heavy. You can’t even go anywhere or do anything because you’re too fat to leave the house. Everyone you meet has to be shocked at what a lardass you are. Nobody who sees your disgustingly obese body is gonna want to fuck you, except the fucking weirdos who get off on that shit. Maybe that’s who you have to settle for, since there’s no way you’re reaching your dick with all that fat in the way. God, I can’t even imagine letting myself get too fat to be able to fuck. That’s so fucking gross, bro.
Like, look at me. Look at this rock-hard bicep next to that big flabby fucking water wing of an arm you have. Look at these abs next to you and that belly hanging down to your knees. It doesn’t even have a fucking shape. Look at these tight glutes next to that wide, wobbling, fat ass you’ve gotten from sitting in front of the tv stuffing your fat face for years. With a body like this, I can fuck anyone I want. How do you think that same hookup’s gonna go for you, huh? Nobody out there’s going home with a pile of jello like you You’re going home, alone, to try and figure out a way to get yourself off.
And dude, I’m not saying all this just to shit on you. I’m worried about you. It sucks to see my bro blow up into a fucking whale and get all mopey ‘cause he can’t get any ass. But you need someone to be real with you. Someone’s gotta tell you how much of a fatass you are, and how much of a fatass you’re gonna be until you get to the gym and shut this fast food and shit down. You can’t blame anyone but yourself for how you got this way. Keep complaining, and you’re going to keep being a gross fatty. You’re gonna have to go out, get some fucking exercise, and deal with being embarrassed at being the fattest guy at the gym until you’ve put in the work to fix it.
Trust me, bro, you’ll thank me later.
#feeder fiction#gainerfiction#ssbhm#weight gain fiction#wg fiction#extreme weight gain#wg story#gaining#gainer stories
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Kiss me, you know they'll love it!
Headcanons: Kissing them on stream.
Pairing: Wilbur x Reader, Tubbo x M! Reader, Quackity x Reader. (Separate).
Wilbur Soot:
First of all, he knew what he was doing. It was just a normal minecraft stream. This got him kinda bothered after a while. And he knew what he had to do to take this bother out of him.
Wilbur says to chat: "Holy.. oh, fuck.. i'm going to the bathroom guys, i'll be right back." He pretends he mutes and turns off the camera, we know he's a good actor.
He calls you, and since the moment you enter the room, he stairs at you with puppy eyes. You ask him why he is looking at you like that, Wilbur just smiles and places his hands on your waist, pulling you closer.
"Will.. aren't they seeing it?"
Wilbur simply doesn't care. He didn't node or deny it. He just got up and put his hands on your cheeks, kissing you passionately.
Chat goes crazy! A lot of people freaking out, they didn't even know he was dating someone.
After he does it, he also pretends to turn the camera and mic on so he can see everybody going crazy again.
"I'm back chat.. did I lose something?" He asked with a smirk.
Tubbo:
It's a late night stream, not a qsmp one, just a normal and chaotic as usual. Tubbo is doing something on his laptop. It's been a while since he's all quiet. Worried, you knocked on the door, calling him;
"Hi babe, what u doing?"
He explains to you something that doesn't matter how much he says, you'll never understand. When he looks at you, his eyes shine, making a dumb but cute smile.
"What? Don't look at me like that dickhead.." You ask, in seconds, he's stood up, hugging you, making you stay closer to him before he kept giving you kisses.
It's so lovely!!!!!
"Stop being mean with me. You're literally my boyfriend!" He giggles and finally kisses you on the lips, a very calm kiss for his natural exited way of being.
"So.. is this camera on?" "Oh.. shit."
He doesn't really care. If you're weak or shorter than him, he gonna take you on his lap, he kept giving you kisses until he get tired, which never happens, or until some giftsub appear on the stream he notices that or he turn the stream off or he let you go.
Now that people know you guys are dating, he'll make sure to bring you sometimes to make a stream with him, always being clingy.
If somebody on the chat flirts with you, he'll be pissed off, not just pissed off, but.. wow. He started to complain about it all the time. Even out of live, he's not the jealous type, but God, he's offended!
Quackity:
He doesn't care.
"Oh, but they'll see us and.." Stfu. He. Doesn't. Care.
Quackity puts you on his lap while streaming, giving you a tight hug.
Small kisses around your cheeks and neck.
Arms are always around you.
He does the possible for talking in your language, so if it is English that cracked fucked up voice comes out, whispering nasty things on your ear.
And, as you guys know, some even more nasty things for you if you speak spanish or portuguese.
I can imagine a pretty "Ah, é? Você sentiu falta de mim hoje..? Eu tenho certeza que posso fazer você se sentir melhor.." In portuguese while he bites the your ear, slowly and teasy.
Or a simple "Mhm, te ves tan bien usando esa ropa, apuesto a que te gustaría verme besarte a través de ella." Coming from him with an innocent smile.
And again, "What if they hear it?" He. Doesn't. Care.
He cares only about you and you feeling good receiving cuddles from him.
Normally, the chat is accustomed to it, just saying things like;
"Come on, man!!!"
"Please, Quackity, can we keep going with the stream?"
"Oh, well, we're losing him.."
He smiles and gives you a big kiss before letting you go. He stayed in a good mood for the rest of the night.
#gay#x male reader#male reader#x male#x gn reader#gn reader#male reader insert#x reader#male reader imagine#reader insert#mcyt x reader#mcyt#wilbur mcyt#wilbur soot x you#wilbur soot x y/n#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot#tubbo#tubbo x reader#tubbo x m reader#tubbo x male reader#quackity x reader#quackity x you#quackity x y/n#quackity
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the thing about q!bad recreating the soulfire base basically block by block and planning to surprise the team with it is that it says a whole lot about him, where is was during purgatory, and where he is now.
q!bad spent months trying to burn bridges and push people away, he effectively placed himself in a distrusted position on the island, his children (the only reason that man breathes) vanished in the middle of the night, he was actively torturing himself and kidnapping people. he was a man on a mission, sure, but time and time again he reinforced to us the audience that he wasn't *happy* about what he had to do. his plan — whatever his plan is — is something he deems necessary enough to have been alright with ruining his own life. as he said to q!baghera: "i'm expendable".
suddenly there's hope in egg island, but egg island is actually a hellscape and he's trapped without his biggest support systems — q!bagi, q!baghera, q!foolish, and even to an extent q!forever were the people he had to take down, they couldn't be there for him anymore. and from his team? other than q!tina and q!aypierre, he wasn't close to anyone or was just... directly antagonistic towards them (mainly q!pac and q!tubbo).
and then the funniest thing happened — he found family in hell and in people he never truly expected to be comfortable around.
he grew to respect and care for q!tubbo, he grew much closer to q!tina, his relationship with q!aypierre was tested and strengthened, he found a connection with q!niki and by god, he protected q!pac — who'd once been terrified of him — with his life. even the people who didn't log on often, he grew to see as part of his pack in a way he (and i) didn't see coming.
when soulfire mains talk about them being the perfect example of found family, that's what we mean. slow, careful changes that grew into love and protection beyond belief — enough that when green gay ninjas were split, everyone was welcomed with a warm hug and a cup of tea, now part of the family undoubtedly and forever. just like that.
their family was hitting their stride when purgatory ended and q!bad tanked a nuke to his back to save his son, and now his bookshelves are all knocked over and his memory's slipping. he's dying, he knows he's dying, and he's holding on by a thread for dapper and pomme even if he's aware that he can't just "bear it" much longer. he's isolated again, hiding and lying about his condition, watching the world turn and knowing his clock is ticking... sometimes he knows nothing at all.
and in this moment of pain, and solemn realization of the end of this version of him?
he's spending his time rebuilding the last place that felt like home block by block, talking openly about how he feels nostalgic and misses their base, their god awful spawn, the memories they made. his time with his daughter has been spent down there.
i know we as a fandom have theorized that one of these days, his memory's gonna snap down there and he'll think he's back in purgatory and it'll be a mess. sure. but right now?
right now that rebuilt base means love, and friendship, and family, and safety. it's the last place things were okay, and he felt cared for in a way that frankly your children can't provide.
a group of ragtag mismatched people got put together in a poor man's hunger games and they saw this demon — bloodthirsty, destructive, full of cold calculated murderous intent and a need to win for his child and instead of being horrified, running away screaming from his fangs and his claws?
they loved him. they found the gentleness beneath the blood and guts. they called him their attack dog because he's so full of love and so protective, and would tear anyone to pieces to protect their family.
team soulfire saw q!bad in a way no one in the island had, and they loved him for it — even when he drove them up the walls and they had to hold the leash tight, they loved him.
and now he's remade their home.
#qsmp#q!badboyhalo#team soulfire#;-;#you don't understand i will NEVER be normal about team soulfire#especially when it comes to q!bad#they loved him and he loved them#they accepted him#they ARE FAMILY#long post tw
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Date: September 23, 2020
Niki: I don't know who to trust anymore. Wilbur and Tommy and Techno are gone, and I understand that they can't take me in right now. That is fine. I will stay strong for them.
But I trusted Fundy so much. I trusted Fundy so much. Fundy and I—he was my running mate! I was his running mate! I would have been his vice president, if we would've been picked. I thought he would bring peace to this nation and make everyone happy. I thought we had the same intentions, but apparently we don't!
(Quietly) Apparently we don't.
(Tearfully) He burned my flag. He burned my flag, just to build it up in a disgusting color, for Schlatt, and for power. All of that for power? He betrayed his own son* for power?
And then there's Schlatt, and Quackity. Quackity—he saved me from jail. He helped me escape. But then he helped tearing down the walls of L'manberg. Our walls. The walls that we built!
And Tubbo. I don't know if I can trust Tubbo. I thought I could trust him. I thought he wants to be a spy on the inside. But he's wearing his suit! He's wearing Schlatt's suit! His suit!
I want to help him. I want to help him with the archives. Because even if I'm not their side, we need archives. We need to show the people in the future what is going on here! (Crying) But I don't know who to trust anymore.
TTS: You should help Tommy or someone burn the flag.
Niki: I can't go back right now. I can't go back to L'manberg right now. I don't know how it's looking down there, and I don't want to! I am not strong enough! I've seen—I have seen our entire nation burned to the ground. I've seen our walls get destroyed, and our names get changed! Our names! They took names, our identities! (Quietly) They took our identities.
*Note: She means "father," referring to Wilbur, here.
---
It's INSANE to me that this isn't one of the most famous monologues from the DSMP. The way she gets so deeply into character, reacting to the TTS messages as if they're her own conflicting thoughts! The way she looks desperately and longingly at what used to be her country! She's alone, after the destruction of L'manberg. Isn't she crying out with the feelings of every one of us? And in her third language!
#anyone who wants to understand c!niki I would first and foremost show them this clip#dsmp#dsmp clips#nihachu#clips n videos#catherine's archiving#my clips
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