#i know everyone is tight right now
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Hey all, things have been a bit tight lately, financially speaking, so I am opening up discounted portrait commissions again!
⭐️These will open indefinitely until I announce that they are closed. ⭐️
⭐️⭐️30$ Headshot portraits⭐️⭐️
Will draw YuGiOh characters, self inserts, OCs, dnd characters, game characters, anime characters, etc
May require reference
Usual commission terms apply.
Multiple characters may be included at an increased rate.
Simple backgrounds like sky/clouds/blurry or out of focus scenery may be included at no charge.
If you are looking for something more complex than a headshot, please contact me for rates.
Example headshot commissions below:
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Hello! I've been considering starting a Patreon so I thought I'd make a little poll to gauge interest.
I currently work full time and make comics on the side, but I'd love to be able to dedicate more time to this comic as well as the graphic novel I'm working on (@apocalypsebabycomic), and having a Patreon would really help me with that! Obviously it's completely optional and It's a Spectrum would still be avaliable here for free :)
So:
Bonus question:
What kind of Patreon benefits would you be interested in? Sketches? Early access to comics? Being drawn in a comic or a portrait? Advice stuff?
Thank you!
#patreon#its a spectrum#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#autism comic#polls#i know money is tight for everyone right now so i understand if the answer is no#but i don't know how sustainable working at my current pace is ahhhh
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there's something so profoundly lasting about feeling alienated from your peers. and I don't know how to even describe it as just like, everything you do and say and wear and like is Different. even from the fellow queer kids because they seem to wear the right clothes and have the right face and say the right things and there's just something about you that doesn't fit in and never will
but also like. the feeling of finding others who seem to stick out in the exact same way as you, because you seem to wear the same types of clothes and walk in the same way and the way you speak seems to be almost the same whilst still being vastly different, and you don’t like the same things but they all seem to be the same kind of thing, or maybe it's just that you like them in the same way. and you’re all so different and you still can’t really place your finger on specifically all of you are so different—because we're all so incredibly individual from one another, but it's the same kind of different—but at least you’re different together
#i’ve never really put this into words before tbh but i’ve always been thinking about it#like i’d always be happy in a weird way and my shoes never looked like my friends shoes#and now the way my t shirt is too big feels awkward in a room full of people with tight cropped t shirts and sleek jackets#and I still can’t quite explain why my skirt feels like the 'wrong kind' of skirt when they’re wearing pretty much the same thing#but when i’m with my friends it definitely feels like I belong#like their way of walking is different from mine but we both don’t seem to know how everyone else does it and yk that's a nice feeling ig#wren wrambles#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#autism#adhd#idk most of us are undiagnosed but I have to assume it's the mental illness#cause i’ve been in friendships and relationships where I feel like i’m so incredibly Different#and I kind of put myself in a hierarchy of 'normal' and 'me' when i’m with someone like that#and like. we've all been queer#but the way I moved my face wasn't as graceful as them and I didn’t laugh in the right way#so yk i’m gonna assume that was autism
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i have not listened to hamilton in like a week why is he STILL HERE
read the tags if you want to see me talk about musicals for a little TOO long
#this is no hate to you mr leslie odom jr#but i have most certainly listened to other musicians/bands more#anyways i'd say the rest is accurate#my bff and i have been doing a musical binge#started with wicked -> ride the cyclone -> shrek -> legally blonde -> falsettos#i cried twice at falsettos btw it's so fucked up (i loved it sm)#i've listened to wicked before but haven't actually *seen* it so that was nice#i've also heard a couple songs from ride the cyclone & falsettos b4 so i already knew they'd be good#and i've seen shrek the musical like 3 times bc i unironically love it#overall opinions: ride the cyclone might have my favorite cast of characters and i think falsettos might be my favorite musical now#fav songs (for funsies):#ride the cyclone: noel's lament / the ballad of jane doe / jawbreaker / space age bachelor man (insane song btw)#wicked: no good deed / popular#shrek: i know it's today / don't let me go / i think i got you beat / this is our story / what's up duloc?#falsettos: this had better come to a stop / i'm breaking down / four jews in a room bitching / a tight-knit family/love is blind#falsettos cont.: everyone hates his parents / falsettoland/about time#legally blonde: blood in the water / positive / ireland / chip on my shoulder / so much better / whipped into shape / take it like a man#legally blonde cont.: bend and snap / there! right there! / legally blonde / legally blonde - remix / find my way/finale#SORRY I OPENED A PANDORA'S BOX WHEN I STARTED TALKING ABOUT MUSICALS#i really should've posted this on my other acc oh well#okay i'm gonna shut up now im so sorry LMAO#falsettos#legally blonde musical#legally blonde the musical#shrek the musical#shrek musical#wicked#wicked musical#ride the cyclone
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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad
#tw s3lf harm#i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual#its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3d ana#not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen#so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years#and to be clear im very pro recovery#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed#i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me#so for not its a whole lotta#male thinpo#slef harm#right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that#slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this#but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO#i joke of course#anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery#ana moots#body chex#someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable#at least for now#also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too#also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick#but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro#because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way#and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help
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idk chief i hate when people are too enamoured with their vision of what the sex industry could be like in their perfect utopia to see the present reality of it. we live in a society where every industry is inherently exploitative. add sex to that and you get... sexual exploitation. now add far less oversight and regulation, more gender inequality and a far more vulnerable population for good measure.
you can't just look at the few people who found secure positions that they found preferable to other forms of exploitation. it's like, when we talk about other industries we focus on the practical exploitation that occurs + the systems of oppression that fuels it.
but as soon as it comes to the sex industry it's suddenly just an idea. and i have seen with my own eyes people willing to dismiss the negative experiences of trafficking survivors and survival SWs right to their faces in defense of that idea. the same people that insist sex work is just like any other work and the sex industry is just like any other industry never actually apply the same standards to them as other work and other industries??
#like rmbr when they surveyed johns and found that most of them dont care if the person was trafficked or not#because you might interpret it as paying for a service#but to a lot of those men's minds it's that their wealth entitles them to vulnerable people's bodies#which is like. to me not a very leftist framework but what do I know <33#like imagine if we were making positivity posts for people who hire childcare and cleaners and stuff#very strange#I feel like everyone has an extremely tight spring on any type of criticism now or even criticism of the conversation#which just produces such a stagnant and toxic environment#people will get things wrong even while being generally right so there needs to be like a healthy flow of criticism#that I literally just never see#it's like we're just able to do the primary colours for babies version only bc we're too scared idk it sucks it's bad
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thinking about the unforgiving nature of the passage of time
#just realized that i've probably rocked my baby boy to sleep for the last time without realizing jt#he's three right now and so fucking big#when did he get so big?#everytime i used to watch him when he was a baby i'd put the same lullaby on and rock him to sleep#he'd tuck his little head against my neck and i'd just rock him#tonight i picked him up and he had a growth spurt so he doesn't quite fit the way he used to#but he still cuddled close and hugged me tight while i rocked him#had to put him down and tuck him in so he could actually sleep comfortably though#long gone are the days where he'd drift off comfortably on me then i'd go around cleaning things up while holding him in one hand#god#i dont miss the person i used to be#i'm glad for the time passing for that much#i've learned to stop drowning in the waves of grief#learned how to cup it before it can grow. to say 'i know this hurts and i'm sorry it does. let's sit in it together.'#learned how to mourn without swandiving into a lake of self pity#but for all i've changed in the past few years so has everyone else#the kids have grown up. all of them were so little and are now at such different stages of their little lives#and i'm grateful to be a part of their story but damn it's so bittersweet#anyways i'm rambling and probably incoherent i'm just overly emotional about this
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my grandpa ended up passing away only 11 days after i saw him and what hurts most right now is trying to deal with such a sudden loss and the fact that i can't go to his funeral. i don't know what to do with myself
#it doesn't help that i am physically alone#i can't tell you how apologetic i feel towards him knowing i can't walk with him through his last step#i should've gone i should've mustered the courage to make it for him#but my parents thought it just wouldn't have been good for my mental state#quite a few people around me told me that i am too fragile to witness it and i know i agree with that#but still i feel selfish and disgusting for not having gone#i mean it's tomorrow but i cannot take the flight anymore#even my family struggled to find tickets as he passed so suddenly#i have other cousins who didn't go and i wish i didn't blame myself and lived it differently like they do#my heart is such a mess and so tired right now#there's also the fact that last time i saw my grandpa he smiled at me and held my hand so tight#so i was trying to protect that image#i just don't know if i would've physically handled the image of seeing him closed in a casket#i am so hurt so sad so mad at myself#i have regrets already#i love him so much and i feel like a terrible person#i feel like i am so undeserving of all the love he gave me all my life#and everyone tells me that i can just say goodbye to him in my heart#but it's not that easy
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wonderful, one of those times where everything i’ve pushed down just bubbles up. great.
#one of my teachers today started comparing me and my older brother and i straight up felt like i wanted to cry#it’s mortifying being the dumb one#because everyone expects you to be great when i’m just…average.#i don’t know where i fit in#not online or offline#like i just feel like i don’t belong anywhere#and i never know how to be vocal about my problems because everyone always assumes i want attention and i don’t#i went to the school psychologist today who’s the closest thing i have to therapy but she isn’t required to be tight lipped#and i wish i could vocalize this#i don’t even think id be able to tell a therapist this because im a weak piece of shit#another thing that bugs me is how when my brother came out my parents were soooo proud of him and my aunts were so proud too#which good dor him#but when i came out as bi i was yelled at and told i was too young to know and that i was just making it up#everything just hurts right now#i hate school#i don’t have the motivation to go to clubs i enjoy#i don’t have the motivation to engage in activities i enjoy#and i know i can’t tell my doctor any of this when i elf checked up because my moms gonna interject with “BuT YoU NevEr ToLd Me!”#and it’s gonna be another “you want attention” thing#i still remember when i used to journal and my mom went through it and screamed at me for two hours because i mentioned being suicidal#never journaled again#idk how to copd honestly#and then i feel like a brat because they do nice things jit then they use it against me#i hate it#i’m just going through a lot this week#sorry#o know you guys are getting tired of my dumb ass bitching
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THIS P*SSY DEPRESSED!
Synopsis. Don’t worry, he knows exactly the solution when you’re upset - fúck it out of you, of course!
Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, creampíes, FÉRAL GOJO, cheering you up, oraI (fem receiving), breéding, MAJOR overstím, PRAISE, THEY’RE SO DOWN BAD, lowkey sweet, slight exhíbitionism (Toji’s), mean Geto, síxty-nine, chokíng, making Choso cry mhm, spítting, pússy-slappíng, cúmplay, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 5.9k
A/N. You’re loved n’ I hope y’all have a good leak day <3
♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - Noise complaint(s)
Any time Toji decided to visit you in your cute lil’ apartment, so did a few complaints from your neighbors.
It wasn’t because of his intimidating presence, or those deadly glares of his - targeted at everyone but you, or even because of the way his large frame unapologetically blocked every doorway in your building.
No, they were noise complaints.
“So that’s what’s got my girl so mm- upset?” Toji has the audacity to chuckle - chuckle - so raggedly at that syrupy pout of yours he’s kissing away. “Usually you and this sweet pussy-” He cups a palm at your glistening cunt, smearing your sweet, sweet juices in a glossy sheen down his wrist. “-are so happy to see me, n’ now you want to keep her quiet? All because some blue-balled loser just moved in next door and got jealous overhearing your pretty moans?”
At your nervous nod, he clicks his tongue gruffly, “Makin’ you all upset like this, tch-” Leaning down to whisper, until his sharp canines graze dangerously against your earlobe, “He’s about to find out that he hasn’t heard even half of it.”
“But Toji!” you’re squealing, fingers scrambling to clamp your already-deliriously sagging mouth shut. “I told you- we have to mmpf- be quiet. He seemed so grumpy, and-”
You’re being cut off with Toji nudging the divot of his fat head against your g-spot, until all those complaints are lodged in your quivering chest by a moan. Teasing, “Talking ‘bout another man when m’trynna make you feel better, doll? Bold today, aren’t ya?”
“N-no I was jus-” Barely-audible babbles drag out of you at the heavenly stretch of your pussy lips. Toji’s muscled chest heaves up and down at the way your pussy lips addictively swallow up his leaky cock, slobbering down, down, down his length till it glistened in the dim lighting. Your legs kicking up in the air when he insistently feeds your cunt inch by greedy inch.
Again. And again and again and so needy. Depraved.
But it still wasn’t enough for him.
“Aww, come on, woman.” He’s rolling his eyes, that tiny scar curling up in a devilish grin when he pries away the hand on your mouth. “Why’re you lyin’ to yourself like this? I know you wanna heh- scream my name as much as this cute cunt of yours is right now. Do it.”
As if to confirm his point, Toji’s pushing apart your puffy folds to let your gaping pussy squelch! even louder at each of his bullying thrusts. Tight ring of muscle taking each and every smack of his sharp hip bones so well, the riotous creaking of your bed following shortly, headboard just slamming into your poor wall despite being bolted onto it.
It was already so loud.
“I don’t hngh-” you let out a feverish gasp when each roll of his hypnotic cadence gets too much. “I don’t wanna give off a b-bad impression…I just want the neighbors to like me.”
Heart clenching in his chest at how cute you are, how sorry your voice sounds, he finds his irritation flaring once again at whoever this bastard was that had you doubting yourself this way.
“Doll– they’d be fuckin’ stupid not to. And I’d beat their asses, too.” Two soft pads of his fingers come to smush your cheeks together, forcing you to stare up into his darkened emerald eyes. “But my poor baby’s still ngh- upset, no?” When you’re hesitant with your answer, they slide down to your neck - just barely putting a bit of leering pressure, “Answer me while m’still being nice, doll.”
It’s all you can do to choke out a shrill, “Yes.” He can feel your walls clenching around every ridge and prominent vein down his shaft so tight with every sultry, mewled-out word. “H-he was really sweet! But it made me- a bit- jus’ a bit.”
“See?” And Toji sounds so smug, predatory tone bleeding into the way his harsh rams pick up to an obscene speed. A thumb of his dips down to swivel over your neglected clit, wrenching out those candied moans he loves so much. “Nothin’ wrong with makin’ my girl feel better after a shitty experience. N’ if anyone has anything to s-say, they can come complain to hngh- me.”
“B-but-”
“Ah ah-” Toji kisses sloppily at your lips trying to press together and quieten, sucking on your lower lip. “What did I say just now? Loud, pretty girl.”
And it’s like a dam breaks open right then and there, you’re arching your body off the bed like such a slut to press your bare tits against Toji’s pecs. Sensitive. Faster. “Toji- oh fuck, m’so-”
“Heh, louder. I don’t hear you losing your beautiful voice yet.”
Keening, “M’so close. Fuck- g-gonna cum all over your cock.”
He’s cupping his ear so mockingly, hips still stuttering and thrusting forwards without a moments’ faltering. “Still can’t hear you, m-ah not gonna let you cum if you’re not loud enough, y’know.”
You were sure your sinful noises were traveling through the heavy, plastered wall now. Picking up in pitch and speed with every double-attack on your sweet spots everywhere. Spearing the lewd curve of his dick into you, he’s fucking you into the mattress so mean - meaner that usual. Rugged muscles of his toned waist flexing when he jostles and thrusts unforgivingly. Your voice is hoarse at this point, “Fuck- fuck fuck fuck Toji m’cumming. I’m-”
Every other loud moan is drowned out by the ringing in your ears, Toji’s own soft rasps filtering through the white-hot pleasure running down your spine.
He’s fucking you through wave after wave of high, gifting your bruised g-spot with a thorough, sly pistons of his still-swollen cock. Something that didn’t bode well for you, you already knew.
“Tha’s it. Yeahh, that’s it-” A hand cups the back of your head gently, even though his slamming staccato was anything but. “Loud. Jus’ like that- shit, gonna make him jealous. Have him regret makin’ my girl upset, fuck-” An irritated banging sounds from the other side of the wall right above your headboard - your neighbor. “Fuck, just watch I’ll give him a real show.” Still throwing jagged hips your way, ram after ram. “What’s the fucker’s name again?”
“He- he said his name was Shiu.”
♡ NANAMI KENTO - Sweet, sweet treat
“I can fix it.” your husband eyed that droopy bowl of frosting and back to your candied, icing-glossed pout. He can’t help but plant a sweet, sweltering kiss on them, just groaning out, “We can do it together.” Barely managing to break away and breathe out, “S’gonna- turn out- perfect, my love.”
Which is how you find yourself splayed out so shamefully on the cool granite countertops of your kitchen, your soft cotton dress only pulled lazily to the side. Nanami’s knees seated firmly on the hardwood floors, face tucked in between the heavenly sweet folds of your already soaked cunt.
“Oh- oh fuck, Ken–” he makes you let out a honeyed drawl with every drag of his hot tongue up and down your soppingly wet slit. “Y-you’re gonna get the- ngh- counter dirty!”
So what? He thinks, and it only takes a flicker of surprise in your half-lidded eyes for him to realize he accidentally said that out loud. Not used to those uncharacteristically brash sentences, but Nanami was so drunk off your addictive juices right now.
Tipping his head back, back, back to let them make their slow, sultry journey down his throat. He’s slurring out proudly, “I’ll clean the mess after I cheer up my upset lil’ wife, okay?”
With this, he’s spitting on your quivering cunt. Adding to the glistening gloss that traveled down your folds - and Nanami couldn’t help himself but kiss at the mess he’s made. Over and over and-
“F-fuuuck, jus’ like that-” You’re keening when he’s alternating between hollowing his cheeks out with methodical, never-ending sucks on your sensitive clit and just peeking inside your needy hole with his tongue. “You’re too good with your hngh! -tongue, Ken–”
It’s impossible to run away - and he knew that, too. Every little inch you backed on the counter had him just dragging you back twice as much. Hot tongue clashing and angry to part your swollen pussy lips.
You can only thread your fingers through his neat blond hair even tighter when he surges back forward. Pussydrunk. Groaning at the lewd smack of his tongue dipping in and out of your puffy folds, Thumb circling around your throbbing clit, “And you’re too sweet, darling. Even sweeter than-” He pools your slick on two thick fingers of his, coating a glossy sheen of obscenity all the way from his rounded tips to the gold wedding ring glinting in the dim light. Before popping them in his mouth to take such long, cleansing drags without even a shred of abashed hesitation, “-that icing of yours.”
“I know–” you’re babbling in disappointment, the full force of your failed attempts at baking something special earlier this evening hitting you once again at full force. “Ugh, what a waste. I can’t even-”
A syrupy beat passes. One. Two.
And at that very moment, you’re feeling the maddening stretching of your gummy walls being forced to their very limits. Whirling your dazed gaze down to spot that Nanami was now standing, belt unbuckled, tugged down just enough that you were reeling from the pressure of his fat head just barely kissing past your fluttering hole.
“That’s my wife you’re talkin’ about.” he growls, low and satiny. Hands steadying on the two sides of your trembling thighs, his grunts catch in his throat when he thoroughly sinks his swollen length in. Never-ending, dizzying. A quick frosting-coated glide of Nanami’s fingers on your lips, and he’s pressing another lingering kiss on your slack mouth. Tasting you and the sweet icing and you, “And I don’t let anyone talk about her that way, my love.”
Now, usually, Nanami was a man of patience - liking to prepare and play around with your pretty pussy as if you were his favorite toy. Molding your plush walls like clay to take his massive cock.
But now, oh now Nanami Kento was anything but patient. Shit, he didn’t even know if your snug walls could take him right now.
Hands curling up into painful fists far away from the curve of your hips, as if he was trying to stop himself from just grabbing your quivering body and just slamming himself inside you until he reached your lungs, your heart, that stupid brain of yours that loved to overthink.
“Don’t you ever fuckin’ say anything bad about my wife. You’re perfect.” he breathes, greedy hazel eyes looking like they could devour you whole. “The frosting is perfect, the anniversary cake is perfect, your smile, your mind, you-” You’re being attacked by a flurry of kisses being gifted on every inch of your face that could be reached, “You you you- I love you.”
If you were in the right state of mind, you’d have responded back in a heartbeat. But right now, he’s not waiting a split-second longer before bullying the rest of his swollen, filthy cock in. Solid inches being shoved inside to force your walls to accommodate, stretching out so maddeningly across every divot and upwards curve down his shaft.
In and out in and out in and-
Your nails tear across his favorite blue button-up, down his muscled shoulders, down to that speckled yellow tie you’d gotten him a few years ago.
“You’re so- hngh-” you squeal, tugging Nanami closer by his tie. Making him bully past your narrow opening even deeper, slick walls squeezing so tight at how his weepy red tip presses right on top of your g-spot.
He chuckles, it’s so endearing how you’re already too cockdrunk to speak. One engulfing hand on your shoulder is all it takes for you to be sprawled back on the cool counter. Nanami’s pummeling cock bullying so deep inside your hot core it’s the only thing you can think about - nothing but him.
“How about, after-” Another dredge of sweet sweet frosting is dabbed along your lips, your heated skin. All for Nanami to lick sultrily, “-we’ll make the cake together, hm?”
♡ CHOSO KAMO - “Just use me, baby.”
Those shallow, sultry words are falling from Choso’s rosy lips before he even realizes it - ringing like sheer melodies over the heady smacking of skin-on-skin where he’s bullying his fat cock into you.
After a few seconds of his sloppy, stuttering rams sending the gooey puddle of cum and slick spreading further and further on the sticky, silken sheets below you - the words finally register.
“Use you, baby?” you purr, batting your lashes in a way that has him gulping. Feeling his aching shaft twitch against your gummy walls, swollen balls squeezing so so angrily with how much seed he’d been gushing out tonight. “You want me to use you?”
Each thrust of his is lingering, rolling forwards to push you further and further up that pooling mess. He can’t think, he can’t even breathe. And it takes everything in Choso to groan out, “Yes yes- fuck, please.” You’re feeling him place a trail of wet kisses up to the nape of your neck, big tears clinging to his dark lashes, “If my- hngh- if my girl is upset, I want her to use me. Ruin me till she forgets all about it.”
It only takes a split-second for you to immediately flip around your positions, pinning a whiny, pliant Choso so harshly down onto the plush mattress.
“Hngh- oh, baby—” He bounces slightly at the sheer force. Dewy eyes rolling to the back of his head at the slobbering sheen of cum dripping down his long, long length. Bucking up his quivering hips till you’re speared all the way down on his cock, clit hitting the tufts of black at his thick hilt. “Fuuuck—.” He’s groaning raggedly, like a mantra, two big arms tugging your body stuck to his sculpted front. Nodding half-lucidly, “Yeah- yeah just like that. Whatever you want with me.”
Your pace was unforgiving - barely even giving him a moment to spew out those pussydrunk promises before rocking your hips up and down up and-
“Use you, huh?” you echo back his own words, the sheer need dripping in them having Choso bow his body upwards to pummel into you in a matching feverish pace. You’re humming, thinking back to those stupid pick-up lines the creepy new manager at work had snided just today. It was harmless, but oh how Choso would kill him if he knew. “Well then, don’t mind if I do.”
With a pained keen, he’s surging upwards onto his elbows, craning his head to mesh your honeyed lips with his. “Mmm- mpfh yeah, exactly like this.” Mixing out such throaty groans with your gasps, so desperate to please you with the way he plants two feet on the bed, thrusting up hazily to find your sweet spots, “S’this any better? How do you- ngh how do you feel, baby?”
You’re letting out a drunken giggle with how he’s the one asking - when really it should be you. Because your sweet boyfriend looked so ruined, eyes wrecked with tears. Milky skin a canvas for possessive red marks from your nails. Kiss-bitten lips spit-glossed and permanently parted in ecstasy, only slacking further every time your snug channel dragged down him.
“Much better, forgot about m’day already.” you’re hissing into his open mouth. “So fuckin’ gorgeous n’ mine, that bastard doesn’t know what the fuck he’s ah- talking about.”
Choso had no idea what you were talking about - though, he thinks his mind is too much of a hot, gooey mess to understand right now. Still so needy to please. Only being able to babble out a stupid, “Yours- fuck m’yours.”
And despite being the one setting the tempo, you can only let out such whiny groans at the sheer stretch Choso’s swollen cock is causing you. By the way he’s molding your gummy walls to each and every throbbing vein decorating down him.
“Sh-shit m’so close, baby.” he whines, a fresh wave of tears streaming down with each overstimulating smack! of his tight, overworked balls against the curve of your ass. Lazily, like he’s moving through molasses, Choso’s drawing messy patterns on your pulsing clit - not even circles, brain too fried to. “M’so close fuck- I need you to- I need-”
“Shhh shhh.” you coo, running a hand through his dark strands, damp with sweat. “Cum f’me, Cho~”
“Hngh!” He can’t stop his hips from bucking up ferally, crying out, “But- I can’t. Wan’ you to feel better. Need you to cum f’me. Use me-”
“Cho.”
“Please-”
“Choso.” you warn, narrowing your eyes, deciding to tease him a little with shallow, repetitive grinds of your hips up and down. Toes curling at the friction of his creamy seed sloshing around inside. “Cum.”
“Hngh- but-” he’s thrashing upwards, so addicted to the rough collision of your sensitive spots against his fat head. Pulling out such fucked-out moans from you already, “But m’spposed to be making you feel happy-”
Your fingers deftly find themselves on Choso’s temping throat, right above his racing pulse. You tighten your nails just enough to leave five matching crescents to match the rest of his marked-up body.
“Cho–” you puff in a sultry groan against his ear. “All I want is for you to fill me up right now.”
And then he’s spilling into you in thick, hot dredge after dredge of his potent seed - before you’ve even finished your sentence. It overfills your pre-painted cunt, that obscene white slopping out of your slit and onto where your hips rocked against your boyfriend’s even harder. A creamy white ring forming mouthwateringly. Relentlessly.
“See?” Choso couldn’t - vision blurry, ears stuffed with cotton. “I don’t care what any sleazy manager has to say, you’re perfect for me.” A gentle kiss is placed on his pouty, worried lips and shit you still didn’t show any signs of slowing down, overstimulating him to tears. You trace his furious marks, “N’ pick me up from work tomorrow in your skimpiest muscle tee~”
♡ GETO SUGURU - Overtime?
A lewd smack! is all that’s ringing in your ears right now, so loud over the distant hum of the photocopier. Accompanied shortly by Geto’s sing-song rasp of, “Heh, missin’ our reservation for this- Are you the one havin’ a bad day or am I?”
Before you can answer, you’re being gifted with another mean kiss of your boyfriend’s palm against your bulging pussy. Smack! Lingering on the nudge of where he could feel your sloppy hole mending around his girthy shaft, before dancing upwards to grip your hair in a sultry hold.
Pulling your entire weight up, up, up like he didn’t care about the way he was treating you like some ragdoll right now. Up to drag his lips towards your ear, “Doesn’t matter, because m’still fuckin’ you just the same.”
“S-Sugu–” your breaths crack with need when he’s pushing in a harsh thrust to slam back into the very bottom of your poor pussy. Eyes darting to the tiny window of your office photocopy room, “Sugu, we’re going to get caught.”
“And yet, she’s still hah- sucking me up as sluttily as ever.” he grins, tilting his head back to get those long, inky strands out of his face. He chuckles at the obscene sight of your cunt stretched to her limits, struggling, and drooling a sweet, sweet gloss down his length. “What’s with the ngh- attitude now? You said you wanted to feel better about working overtime so here we are.”
You bite down on your lower lip to hold back your moans when his fat tip draws a solid, straight line across your bruised cervix. Slamming forwards to have you scrambling forwards into some more important paperwork you really should be looking over right now.
“I did but-”
“Problem solved then.” Geto lets out a low whistle, sounding so utterly smug when he pulls your hips deeper into his. “Now let me make this shitty workload hah- so much better for you, gorgeous.”
Honestly, when you told your dear boyfriend that you’d have to cancel tonight’s date because of a sudden deadline for tomorrow, you felt guilty. Working after everyone else had left, spewing out upset little apologies until he told you he’d come over to the office to “help you take your mind off of things.”
You just didn’t expect it’d end up like this.
Smack!
Geto scoffs, “Aww documents have you zoning out on me again, pretty girl? Take a break, didn’t I tell ya you don’t have to worry about work and all those stupid things when you’re with me?”
Your knees weaken involuntarily when his gruff question is followed by such an unapologetic crash into your ravaged g-spot. Thankfully being held up by one of Geto’s strong arms to fuck yourself back all the way from his red, weepy tip to that see-through ring dredged up on his thick base. Somehow, you’re managing to gasp out, “N-no, I was just…”
“N-n-no, you were just zoning out, that’s what.” he’s mocking your answer in an overly-dramatic higher pitch, adding a few extra moans you were spilling with every harsh slam after slam of his hips. “What did I tell you now, relax. Let me fuck this shitty overtime and that shitty boss outta ya cute lil’ head, gorgeous. You and her-” His red-rimmed eyes, drunk on the feeling of your slicked walls enveloping him, lock on the sight of his curved dick disappearing so easily in and out of you. “-don’t have to worry about a thing right now.”
It was that same little promise - the one he’d whispered over and over into your sagging open mouth when he’d first ambushed you in the photocopy room. Bending you over the nearest flat surface before ramming into you all those thick, greedy inches of his long-needy cock.
And here he still was.
Splatters of your syrupy slick coats his toned pelvis with every jagged thrust, fucking you so deep - so disrespectfully - into the office desk. Your feet don’t even touch the ground now, mind spinning and syrupy. Geto’s bending his own to angle up exactly to hit the bullseye of your sweet spots. All those familiarly mapped-out areas to drive anything and everything out of your mind but him and the temptation for more more more-
Click!
Both of you are raising your heads in sync at the distinct clamor of an opening door somewhere in the office - shit, was someone doing patrols at this time?
Your jaw drops open in shock - and the feeling of your boyfriend sliding two slender fingers to your pulsing clit. Drawing rough, skimming circles on the bundle of nerves. He has you jolting and arching your back right into him, his arms - exactly where he loved to have you.
“Now we’re-” your words come in strangled little stutters, mindlessly bouncing your ass back onto his cock. Feeling the sinful tremors run down your spine with each slam, “-we’re really gonna get hah- caught. And I’m not even halfway through my project yet.”
And Geto - that smug bastard - sounds amused. He thinks he’ll have a ah- talk with your boss later about piling on workloads later. But for now, he sounds so fucking content when he’s musing, “Better cum fast before they give you more than overtime, pretty girl.” Before planting a deceivingly chaste peck on your lips, “Though, I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to havin’ a cute lil’ housewife to spoil all day either.”
♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - QUIET TIME!
“Oh, Kuna–”
“Now that’s music to my ears.” Sukuna smirks darkly, lips searing in a trail right down your arched spine. Two inhumanly large hands massage down your back, pulling you against his sculpted front. “So much better to hear you say m’name than complain about some fuckin’ eugh-” His tone trembles in distaste, “-office drama.”
Scoffing, “No need to be so mean, Kuna. You really should’ve heard what Mrs. Smith down at-”
That little tangent earns you a sharp smack! to the fat of your bare ass, cupping the little tremors with a chuckle. He hums with a mocking lilt in his baritone voice, “You’re testing my patience~” Sukuna goes back to kneading at the stressed knots in your body. “Shut up and let me massage you, woman.”
And oh you should’ve learned your lesson - should’ve taken this rare, sweet little moment you’d gotten from your rough boyfriend. Should’ve done anything other than huff out, “Ugh, if only you’d heard what she said, ruined my whole-”
“Lift your hips.”
Your eyes widen at the sudden interruption, “Wh-what?”
“Lift your hips goddammit.”
It’s all you can do to mindlessly head his gruffed out words, legs stuttering and shaky when you get up on all fours. A gasp rips from your throat when Sukuna shuffles into the gap between your pliant body and the silken bedsheets. Not stopping until his hot breath was puffing against your sopping slit, your eyes mere inches away from his massive erection. Throbbing thickly and outlined with precum through his boxers.
Your mouth waters, “K-Kuna what-”
“So it really takes this to get me back on your mind, huh, brat?” he’s cutting you off with another branding smack on your ass - this time, the very rounded tips of his thick fingers just grazing against your dripping folds. “Couldn’t stop talkin’ about some fuckin’ Mrs. Smith even when I’m right here.”
“Are you jealous?” you muse, brows turning upwards in confusion. “Because I can assure you-”
Before you can run your mouth again, Sukuna’s cutting you off with one hand reaching down to wrap around your throat. The other pulls your shaky hips down to sit on his face.
“How’s this for jealous?” He grunts, an obscene slurping noise pouring into your hazy bedroom, eyes rolling to the back of his head at this messy kiss with your needy cunt. “Gonna make you forget about those shitty people. Just focus on me.”
You’re managing to wrangle your greedy gaze over your shoulder to spy his lewdly wet smirk, glistening down with a glossed cover of your slick. They’re so pretty, so kiss-bruised in your favorite shade of pink when they wrap around your throbbing cunt to give a harsh suck. “What? Got a problem, woman?”
You wine softly in protest, your lower lip jutting out in a pout that makes his clothed cock just coat down his fat tip with syrupy precum. Opening your mouth to retort and-
In all of two seconds, Sukuna’s hand snug around your throat drops down to tug on his boxers. Tall, angry erection hitting your parted lips with a soft thwack! It doesn’t stay there for long - no, because you feel that familiar pressure back on your throat again, and his achy cock being bullied down, down, down your throat.
“Actually, don’t answer that.” he’s letting out a strained groan, sanity dancing away with every clench of your tight throat around his glistening shaft. Holding you still with the hand on your throat, Sukuna’s powerful thigh muscles strain when he’s fucking up into your heavenly mouth slow, sultry. Spitting to coat him in all your sweet saliva, “Consider this quiet time, just shut up and take my cock.”
Your eyes are watering, Sukuna’s girth rubbing against every part of your plushy mouth. Swirling a pool of salty precum on your tongue. You can’t do anything but keen brokenly around that warm weight when long, thick fingers are spreading your puffy folds to wrangle his long tongue in deeper. Textures of his tastebuds grazing over and over against your spongy entrance - your clit.
“Hngh- mmpf-” you’re jutting your hips traitorously. Dragging your slobbering pussy up and down his thorough lips, giving longing, drunken licks up from your weepy base to your hot clit. “Kuna-”
He breaks away with a sinful smack! Your sensitive bud being tugged along with snapping strings of delicate precum and slick.
“Mhm, that’s what I like-” he’s slurring out words mixing together with need. Free hand coming down to toy your clit between two rolling fingers. And you could tell how much he liked this, fat shaft twitching animalistically inside your mouth. Nudging his leaking head at the back of your throat, it’s only with how long you’ve been with Sukuna that you manage not to gag. “-to have you shut up on my cock this way. That pretty mouth is better used for something other than rememberin’ some shitty people when you’re with me. They can fuck right off with the disrespect towards my woman.”
It’s all you can do to keep your jaw slacking further and further with every dragged-out smack of Sukuna’s heavy balls against your face. His hips using you like some glorified cocksleeve, ruthless in his pace. Molding your mouth to the shape of him while he does the very same with yours.
“F-fuuuck-” you manage to gasp out through the drooling edges of your lips. “It feels so- ngh–” Moans getting lost when Sukuna flicks your throbbing clit slowly, nudging with the very tip of his dark fingernails. “You’re being so-”
“So loud.” he finishes your own sentence for you. Grinning a grin that sends shivers up your spine, right to where he was stuffing your mouth shut with all long inches of his cock. Murmuring dangerously around your sloppy hole, “Interrupt quiet time again and you don’t get to cum, brat.”
♡ GOJO SATORU - Unmistakably depraved.
“Fuuuuck, sweetheart.” Gojo’s whispering, over and over. As if he can’t - won’t - manage to articulate anything else right now. The honeyed words wrenching out of him with each sticky crash of his shaft down your sloppy slit in this firm mating press. “Do you know how hngh- long I’ve missed this sweet cunt?”
You don’t have to answer, and the echoing smack! of his too-sensitive balls against the curve of your ass is enough of one for him. Making his eyes gleam with such a feral glint, traveling straight to where he was pressing in bullying little grinds past your clamping walls.
It’s been so long - too long - about a whole week since your pussy-whipped boyfriend was able to have his fill of you.
A soft pad of his thumb rolls in a languid circle over your needy clit. Sending white-hot shockwaves that have you jolting the balls of your feet to greedily swallow up even more throbbing inches of him.
“Fuck, forgot how tight you s-squeeze me when I do that.” Gojo eyes dance to the back of his head with every bottom-out hit against your clingy mess of a cunt. Crashing so messily onto every velvety inch of your cunt. It only takes a few drags of your slobbering walls down his length for your dear boyfriend to run his mouth, “Forgot allll about this because of some- hngh- some mournng for a fucking fictional character-”
“My favorite character, Toru!” you exclaim, through furrowed brows. Both of you are shocked at the fact that you’re still managing to speak in coherent sentences - just means he hasn’t fucked you good enough yet, he muses with his syrupy, pussydrunk mind. “He was my- my favorite and he died and-”
You’re immediately being shut up by two sweet lips planting on your own, immediately moving to suck on your tongue so filthily. “Well, I’m your favorite boyfriend-” Your only, but semantics. Gojo whines - whines, “Shouldn’t I- hngh- be more important?”
As if to help you make your decision, he’s burrowing his cock in such needy thrusts. And Gojo can’t help but crane his neck to bite down on your frantically racing pulse, feeling himself salivate with how well you’re milking each and every single vexing ram of his hips. Just spearing the hotly saturated tip into your spongy g-spots, so fucking big that every stroke feels like a brush against your throat, an indent into the plush walls of your pussy, wrapping and molded around his girth.
Another bite to your neck at your silence - sharp canines just shy of drawing blood. And you swear Gojo’s eyes spark with an unnatural lightning blue when he devours you with a greedy stare, “Answer me, sweetheart.”
“You a-are.” Is all you can gasp out, but that’s not enough for the great Gojo Satoru. You’re instantly earning a rosy pout and a loaded smack! right on the bullseye of your glistening clit, faintly you think you hear the crackle of jujutsu. Thighs burning at the sheer stretch of being folded down, down, down until your knees knocked against your tits. “You’re more- hah! Fuck fuck fuck don’t– you’re more important!”
This seems to soothe your jealous boyfriend a bit, but it still doesn’t stop him from placing such brutal thrusts on your poor, ravaged pussy. Bruising. Sloppy.
You’re whining so brokenly, “Fuck, right there- feels too good- hngh!”
“Mhm, exactly what I thought.” Another explosive slap to your sensitive nub, humming with power, and Gojo throws his head back at how much it makes you gush so wetly around his thick hilt. “Now, was that- ngh- was that so hard?” Spitting out little profanities into your lips, as if the man he was jealous over wasn’t a few pixels, “The f-fucker- Had to wait a whole week before I got to comfort my sad girl? I’d kill him myself.”
You can’t even formulate a response to that - not even if you wanted to. Because with increasingly sloppy drags of his cock against your walls, Gojo only grows more and more heated.
“Fuck- makin’ my girl so upset. Gonna fuck all thoughts outta him for ya.” Babbling out little curses a mile a minute, swift pace bruising your spring cervix, your g-spot. A thin trickle of drool trails messily in-between your clashing kisses, only growing every time he’s ramming into your gripping cunt. “Gonna make you cum- make you mine.” Difficult, even with how you were clinging onto his every rough, angled thrust, and you don’t think Gojo even realizes the possessive little spanks he’s repeatedly leaving on your puffy clit. “Won’t you cum like a good girl f’me, sweetheart?”
He’s moaning at the sloppy way you listen to his ragged plea, letting out such pretty moans into the heady air when you fall back into your high. Toes curling, jolts of needy pleasure running down your spine, such a mess.
It makes Gojo falter in his tempo, it makes the sharp bones on his toned hips slam into you even harder, stuttering and rutting forwards like some animal in heat that can’t bear to do anything but be buried well inside you. It makes him cum.
“Oh- fuck, Toru s’in so deep.” You mewl, too cockdrunk to say anything else. To feel anything but the slow, sultry filling of your quivering cunt. Rope after rope of his hot cum painting the mess of your branded walls inside, and each time he’s fucking his cum even deeper you feel a lewd whimper of his name leave you. Vision tinging with need, with the feeling of being so overfilled you could barely breathe. “Oh- oh my god I feel it coming-”
Your words hitch in your throat when Gojo - cock still angry and twitching with faint wisps of trickling cum - plugs a slender finger into your bulging cunt. Stopping the overflow, the grins, “Hope you’re on the pill, my girl, because we’re not done until you forget.”
A/N. Ouu y’all should’ve seen the way I was CACKLING writing Toji’s ending.
Plagiarism not authorized.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo x reader#geto x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#gojo smut#geto smut#sukuna smut#nanami smut#tonywrites#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#choso x reader#choso smut#toji x reader#toji smut#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#gojo x reader smut#toji x reader smut#satoru gojo x reader#toji fushiguro smut#nanami x reader smut#choso x reader smut#geto x reader smut
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~ ~ ~
#the anxiety and the nonsense are back in full swing tonight#I can literally feel myself being annoying and yet can’t seem to stop myself from it#I tried to do what my therapist would expect me to do and talk myself through everything and think logically#yet the chest tightness and headache and weird crawly feeling under my skin remains#maybe I’m just tired or maybe my period is coming or maybe it’s the grief or maybe a million other little things who knows#it’s like I just want someone to talk to/hang out with because I don’t feel right by myself right now#but bestie has a life and I know I’ve annoyed him early#and partner is asleep and I’m not about to wake them up because I feel lonely#tbh I don’t even want to come to bed until I get myself sorted simply so I won’t bother them by being awake/on my phone for half the night#just feel kinda fucked up right now and don’t know what to do to fix that exactly#don’t even want to bother trying to see if anyone round here wants to talk because I doubt I’d get any takers in the first place#is this what being an adult is? screaming into the void on your own because you’ve only got two people in your life?#I’ve never really had a group to call my own or a lot of people I could rely on anytime I needed despite being like that for everyone else#I realized that I love the way I was never loved but it still hurts feeling like I’ll never get that returned to me in any way#I’ve heard phrases like ‘I know love like mine exists because I exist’ but that just feels like a pathetic cover for the sorrow#of being alone#maybe that love only exists inside of me and what a tragedy that would be#but I’m rambling now because at least I can’t annoy myself#personal
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Imagine ex-husband Gojo having a brutal rivalry with your son.
You'd promise your now eighteen year old, "Sen, your father and I didn't part on bad terms. It would be nice if the two of you could get along."
Sentaro would scoff, crossing his arms and leaning in the kitchen doorway. "Strongest sorcerer in the world and couldn't protect his wife?" You touch a hand to the large burn mark on your chest. Sen watches the movement and shakes his head. "Like I could ever get along with a guy like that."
~
Imagine your son is the splitting image of his father, save for how his hair grows in black, then fades to white when it grows past the roots.
"You have my pretty face, but I don't know where you got such a shit attitude." Sen would be face to face with his dad while he was on business at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Satoru would look him up and down. "I know for a fact that your mom never taught you that."
Sen's face would contort into a look of disgust. "Don't act like you know her."
"I know her in ways no one else ever could--"
Uncle Suguru would be forced to intervene before everyone got to find out what happens when two hollow purples collide.
~
Imagine Satoru still loves you - he never stopped, of course - and visits you at the house while your son is on a mission.
"You miss me, don't you, mama?" he'd murmur in your ear while he has you crowded up against the living room wall. "You have a little mini me running around, so I bet you think about me all the time, huh?"
He'd be right of course, but life was so hard for you and your son after the divorce that you're reluctant to start up anything again. You'd always love Satoru, but you hadn't seen enough of him to know if he'd changed since you were last together. That said, it's hard to remain rational when the love of your life presses his lips to yours.
You won't get enough time to consider, however, since your ex will have been ripped away from you and sent flying through the opposite wall. Your son, just as tall as his dad, will be standing protectively in front of you, fists clenched tight.
Sen wouldn't look at you when you gently touch his broad back in an attempt to calm him down.
"Don't get too close, mom," he'd say with gritted teeth. "The old man's about to learn he's not the strongest any more."
~
Click [here] for more of Sen being mean to his dad | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]
#what did i just write#enjoy i guess#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#gojo sentaro
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maybe i shouldnt have. er. bought glasses but like i went for the cheapest option too so im mad as hell that i barely cut it w rent this month still -_-
#gritting my teeth. my job cut my work hours in half severely and i admit its kinda been shitty but gah. everyone got cut its not just me#a lot of ppl are really fucked over right now#BUT I NEED GLASSES!!!! AND GLASSES I WILL HAVE!!!! too much pressure on my good eye and my shitty eye's strugglin 2 do shit#but i do get paid this wednesday so i just need 2 like. clamp down on. uhm. i dont know. i get paid wedn so#thursday i go buy my meds then i pay the light bill and anything else remaining im holding on to as tight as possible. not an inch#i just need to get lightbill and meds and then clamp down#like i hate saying this but ig eating less. unsuree. i dont rlly eat breakfast anymore so maybe that works but jeez. that is stupid. fym#fym food costs money. shut up#sorry if this comes off as complaining im genuinely ok im more trying to rationalize everything#like its not doomsday yk. ig im just frustrated a little but i always find a workaround
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Oh at this point I am just assuming you're controlling both sides of the transaction.
I burned a hole in him a few years ago.
Last summer was retarded. Every corporation just sent me a pirate flag every time I emailed them.
Like, fine, I don't give a shit.
#the look of you're very low right now with chakra reverse spinning#enjoy those dreams fucker#boss talk#I never said who the boss was I just stared at him#The boss never has to say he is the boss nor ask his “underlings” who the boss is#like are you afraid I'm the boss because you have no idea what I do#07 Google is like my pussy is too tight baby come again#just checking last year's fuck ups#he knows I don't talk to him about the crazy shit i purpose#he's like I'm not religious I am like I hate religion more than everyone#unless it's the church of toots.... that's different#what chance did I have on the phone against a woman immediately accusing me of being hung#body dysmorphia#I guess#I think as long as you both know is all that matters#pool meat drive by
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crying 😃
#there is so much hate and love in our family it's so overwhelming and mixed#didi left today just now and#mom gave her a cover (of money) and didi wasn't accepting it because she was like noooo#you keep it because like she knows money is tight because mom and dad are constantly fighting so he doesn't give her any money at all#but my mom was like no you're still my little daughter (she's 25😭) just take it for my happiness#and didi was like okay but what is this i took you shopping yesterday isse toh aapne saara wapis hi kar diya😭#and then i went to drop her downstairs and she was giving me the same cover back 😭😭#and not for mom but for me#because lately she's been doing that everytime not because of any ritual or formality or something and not even because i need it#just for like here take this buy something nice for yourself clothes or food or party anything that makes you happy#and like fuck man this chain of love we all just want each other to be happy right#i was like no wtf you were here for 2 days pata bhi nahi chala and u don't have to do this everytime bua thodi ho and she was like okay#okay and she split in in half and told me to hide it from mom😭😭😭#yaarr#i don't like people leaving i hate having this stupid auto booking app in my phone i drop everyone off in my family#dad mom didi
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in which you’re forced into having a talk with your ex-boyfriend, rafe cameron, on the boat ride to morocco.
being a pogue and rafe cameron’s ex was not easy. although you dated shortly before he killed peterkin, and you were sure he barely even remembered your favourite colour, seeing him blatanly disrespect you and his friends, and go down a path you tried so hard to prevent him from, was hard to watch. but now he’s picked himself up since ward died. you thought you had another chance to at least be on good terms. sending flowers and a card to tanneyhill when ward died, smiling at him when you’d see him around. it didn’t work, he still hated you and your friends.
fortunately, he redeemed himself ever so slightly by volunteering to take the pogues to morocco. rafe had to find chandler groff, you guys wanted the blue crown. it was perfect.
until jj punched him, that is. he knocked him out cold. with a scolding “jj!” coming from majority of the pogues, including you, jj carries him down into the downstairs washroom and ties his wrists to a pole. they don’t trust him, which is fair. you don’t either — you shouldn’t, anyway.
rafe was down there quietly for a mere half hour until he woke up with a groan from his head hitting the ground earlier, followed up with yelling once he realizes he was stuck down there.
all touching your noses and saying ‘not it’ the minute pope suggests someone going down there to check on him, you’re the unlucky one who said it last. shutting up your protests, john b gently coaxes you downstairs, saying things like, “you used to mack on him”, “this is good, you know him”, “he won’t hurt you,” john b leaves you downstairs once you make it to the door of the bathroom. knocking gently, you timidly ask, “can i come in?”
there’s no answer. you can picture him. wrists tied, brows furrowed, eyes closed tightly as his head leans against the wall and towards the ceiling. his gorgeous stressed face. you slowly open the door, peeking your head in. “hi,” you say gently, timid around the scary and aggressive man you have the curse of calling your ex.
“…hey,” rafe says, voice rough as he shuts his eyes tight.
unsure what to say, you awkwardly stand there and stare down at him. “um, i brought asprin,”
“right, right, like i can fuckin’ swallow it. what, you gonna throw it in my mouth like a.. seal or something?” sassy, his upper lip lifts a bit as he thinks about it and isn’t very fond of the idea.
a second of silence as you figure out what to say. “…um, ill just set it down here,” you say, putting the container down beside him. “sorry about your head.”
“yeah, uh, your little boyfriend can’t control his fists, huh?”
“…not my boyfriend,” you correct softly, though you’re not sure why you feel the need to tell him that. “but no one really.. trusts you, rafe, so you kind of brought this on yourself—“
he quickly interrupts you. “bullshit. you know why that’s bullshit? because i was helping. who got you this boat, huh? me. i did. rafe. i’m the reason that you guys aren’t swimming, or some shit, to north africa. i’m being helpful and understanding, and this is what i get. you think that’s fair?” when you’re stood there in silence at his sudden raised voice, he repeats, “you think that’s fucking fair, y/n!?” he kicks a can in anger.
it’s like you’re his girlfriend again as you sit down next to him instantly instead of running. you get deja vu to the time three years ago when he was high on coke and got kicked out of the house. everyone ignored him except for you. “..um, okay, i’m gonna give you some asprin,” you say softly. “help your head. open,” you tell him, grabbing a pill as he gives you a look but opens his mouth. you pop it in his mouth and he dry swallows. “there.”
you two share a look. you don’t think it’s a bad look by any means. he looks frustrated still, but there’s an underlying gentleness in his eyes, as if he registers you’re still the same girl you were when you two were together. “…and, um, for the record, i don’t think it’s fair that you’re down here. you helped us, thats.. nice.”
the word ‘us’ when referring to you and the pogues makes him feel weird. “i don’t get why you hang out with them,” he mutters as he looks at the ground. “tried so fucking hard to keep you away from them when we were.. together.”
“i know,” you whisper, your gaze dropping as well, to his tied wrists. you feel awful. “trust me, your warnings still play in my head when i’m with them sometimes,”
“you remind me of sarah.” he says. you’re not sure what that means.
“you hate sarah,”
“nah, nah— i don’t hate her. hate who she’s turned into,” he adjusts himself. “she makes me sad. i’m sad for her, alright? she had so much potential.“ he shrugs. “but there’s no saving her. she’s in too deep,” he looks back up at you again. “i think there’s saving you, though,”
“…this is weird, rafe,”
“how?” he asks.
“because in the years we’ve been broken up, you’ve never talked to me about this. feels like it’s a… trick or something,”
“it’s not a trick,” he assures, voice still rough. “look, i’m out half a mill, i’m tied up in a bathroom, i’m probably gonna.. die or something. i got nothing to lose, may as well tell you my concern,”
“um, i appreciate it,” you say gently, unsure how to respond. “and i’m gonna go back upstairs.”
“hey— no, woah, woah, woah,” he stops you quickly. “stay. okay?”
“i should go up and help with dinner, though—“
“no, stay. i— i want you to stay, okay? i don’t wanna be down here alone, and i want you away from the pogues,”
he doesn’t wanna be alone. you feel bad for him all over again, nodding gently as you sit back down beside him. you always were so good for rafe.
you’re not sure how long you’ll be down here with him. maybe until it’s late at night and he’s asleep. so gently, after about five minutes of silence, to ease some of the tension and pass the time, you murmur a, “truth or dare?”
rafe just smiles.
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