#because everyone expects you to be great when i’m just…average.

[alaskan-wallflower]

wonderful, one of those times where everything i’ve pushed down just bubbles up. great.

[luveline]

𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

Spencer calls you drunk and in need of rescue. You confess a few secrets to him while he won’t remember them (or so you think). 3k, fem

cw drunk!spencer, mentioned past drug use, confident/bombshell!reader, flirting, spencer getting some well deserved comfort, a handful of his drunken compliments, insecurity, intense mutual pining

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You’re blissfully sleeping in the arms of a REM cycle when your phone rings. It pulls you by the chest, a punch of shock and expectancy at once. It’ll be someone calling you into work, Hotch himself if you’re lucky. 

You search blindly for your phone. If you’re even luckier, it’ll be a wrong number. Your fingers curl around the little body of your phone and you bring it to your ear without checking the number, frazzled. “Hello?” you ask hoarsely. 

Total quiet. 

“Hello?” You pull the screen away. The caller reads: SPENCER. You pull it back rather than hang up. “Hey, Spencer. Are you there?” 

“Hello.” He laughs. “Hello, are you there?” 

“I’m here, Spencer, where are you?” 

“That’s an interesting question, actually, and I’m sure there’s a great answer, but…” 

“But what?” You sit up quickly, your throat aching with sleep. Your room is black as coal pitch. “Spencer, what time is it, my love?” 

“You shouldn’t call me stuff like that.” 

“Stop being weird and tell me where you are.” 

He laughs like a hyena. You can see it in your mind, his smile and all his pearly perfect teeth. You love it when he smiles like that and he rarely ever does. “I’m somewhere and I need your help getting home!” he says with another funny laugh. 

“Are you alright? You sound…” He sounds inebriated. 

Spencer struggled with his drug problem for so long before you found out. You just hadn’t been around enough, and when you were he’d gotten good at hiding it. You can still remember how furious you’d been with everyone, including him, because you could’ve helped, would’ve done anything to support him through it. If he’s hurting now and hasn’t told you, you love him, but you’ll be insanely angry. 

“Spencer?” you ask quietly. 

“I went for drinks with a girl but she didn’t like me and I may have drowned my sorrows too much,” he admits. “Um. Did you know gin is very strong?” 

“Aw, baby. You’re cheating on me?” 

“I’m afraid so,” he says, and hiccups. 

“Where are you?” 

After some hassle wherein you persuade Spencer to give the phone to someone else in the bar for a slightly less drunk interrogation, you dress and gather your bearings for the drive. You zip a hoodie up over your pyjamas, stuff your feet into some old converse, and set out into the dark to find him. 

He calls you again as you’re parking. “Hello,” he says as soon as you answered. “I need you to come and get me.” 

Spencer called you twice to save him. Even if he doesn’t remember, he’s called you to come and get him when he knows he needs help, and that realisation is hard to ignore. “Spencer, I’m two minutes away, I’m parking. You’re still where you were?” 

“Where was I?” 

“At the bar, sweetheart. Are you still there?” It’s scarily dark out and you didn’t grab any sort of defensive measure before you came, which you regret now, climbing out of your car to walk the dimly lit road. The bar glows like a beacon to be followed. 

“Still where?” 

“Did you hit your head?” 

“Not to my knowledge. Though I’m not sure I have much right now. I feel like I’m forgetting everything I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot. You know I can read about eighty average length novels in one hour on an e-reader? The buttons make it faster.” 

“You haven’t told me that before.” You shiver against the nighttime winds, footsteps heavy on the grey sidewalk. 

“I’m trying to be more conversational. Emily says it’s not working.” 

“You’re conversational. Isn’t the only condition of being conversational to prompt a conversation? We’re always talking.” 

“…What?” 

You laugh like crazy. “Spencer, you don’t need to change the way you talk.” 

“I annoy people.” 

“You don’t annoy me.” 

You approach the door of the bar, a ramshackle sheet of plywood over what looks to be a glass door. The bar building seems in similar dessaray, with modern features wrecked by scratches and smashed panes. It’s a real dive. Spencer couldn’t have meant to come here. 

You war with both hands to open the door and find yourself faced with a long and empty corridor leading to another door. Worried you’re going to get kidnapped, you bring the phone back to your ear, Spencer’s chatting an immediate greeting. “…telling me I’m doing something wrong without telling me what it is, it’s impossible.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, can you come to the door?” 

“I don’t think I have control of my legs,” he says without inflection. 

“It’s definitely the building with the smashed door?” 

“Yesssss. Are you here?” he asks excitedly. 

“I better not get murdered, Spencer Reid.” 

“Am I in trouble?” 

“How are you even keeping the phone to your ear right now?” 

“I’m on speaker phone. Milly showed me how to do it. Say hi, Milly.” 

“Hi Milly,” a new voice says. 

You rub your eyes with one hand and square your shoulders, prepared to defend yourself if the creepy door leads to a creepier room. 

Spencer is immediately visible from the get go. You open the door on to a rather cosy looking bar, which you’re thinking might be the whole point; wretched exterior, secret attraction. Warm orange light ebbs into the space from sconces and a faux fireplace, while a wrestling match playing from the small TV behind the bar casts brighter light down onto Spencer’s shoulders. He looks out of place, dressed in a white oxford shirt and a suit jacket, his tie loosened and hanging from either side of his neck, compared to the lingering patrons who sit dotted around the room in booths and on barstools. One such patron sits in a plaid shirt and a trucker hat, her hair to her back, thick and dark. 

You hang up the call and put your phone in your pocket. Spencer gasps like he’s been smacked and picks his own phone up from the bar, clicking at buttons with clumsy fingers. “No,” he hums sadly. 

“Spencer,” you say, not wanting to disturb the people spending their sorry-looking night here. “Spencer. Hey, Spence!” 

His phone tips between his fingers. The woman you assume to be Milly catches it and offers it back without looking too far from her beer. 

“Hey,” you say gently, crossing a wide empty space to meet him. The room itself is shaped like a horseshoe, the bar taking up a surprising amount in the centre, and booths and tables placed around it. Spencer’s off of his barstool as you approach, eyes like puppy dog’s, arms extended. “You okay?” you ask. 

You can feel eyes on you both from every angle, but it doesn’t matter, not when Spencer’s falling into your arms (or on to them —he’s surprisingly tall when you aren’t wearing heels). “You alright?” you ask again. 

“You don’t have to be worried, I’m fine.” 

He’s less coordinated in real life than he’d sounded over the phone, his slurring unmissable, his hands like jumping fish as he tries to hug you. It’s weird and straining to take his weight but you do it without complaint. He smells the same, at least, only his cedary cologne is sharpened by the tang of gin on his breath. 

“Thank god you’re here,” he whispers. 

“Why?” you ask, pulling away to check for danger. 

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, handsome,” you say, genuine but laying it on thick simultaneously as you ease his head back to cup his cheek. You can’t help yourself. He’s the prettiest man you’ve ever met, and it gets worse every year. 

He frowns at you deeply. “I don’t like first dates.” 

“Then don’t go on them,” you suggest, “you don’t need to until you’re ready.” 

“I’m ready for love,” he says. You pull your lips into a flattened line, unsure of what to say, how to explain that it’s waiting for him, but his chin dips towards his neck and his eyes lock onto your face. “You’re not wearing makeup. God, you’re so pretty.” 

You flinch away from him. “Fuck, Spencer.”

“I’m sorry! It’s not that you don’t look pretty with makeup, but I never see you without it!” 

You’d forgotten you weren’t wearing any. Makeup isn’t a shield, exactly, but you like putting your best foot forward, so to speak. You’ve no clue what you look like tonight, hadn’t managed to look in the mirror, you’d been focused on getting to Spencer before he got lost. You can imagine the puffiness.

Spencer touches your cheek. You let him turn you mostly because he’s surprised you, his eyes roving up and down your face with a fawning curiosity. 

“You’re beautiful. You know that already, but people don’t tell you enough,” he says, his hand falling from your cheek. 

“Spencer,” you say softly, “let’s get you home.” 

You thank Milly for her help and grab Spencer’s bag from the floor to hang on your shoulder. You’d make a joke about how heavy it was if you didn’t think he’d take it from you, and, considering how drunk he is, topple over from the imbalance it provides. His shirt is clammy where you push your hand through his arm to link them, his footsteps wobbly. 

“I didn’t want to go on a date,” he says. 

“Then why did you go?” you ask, helping him over the door jam into the long hallway. 

“I don’t want to be alone forever.” 

“Spencer, you won’t be.” It doesn’t feel like the best time to bring up how much you like him. You’re sure he thinks you’re kidding, doesn’t everybody? Don’t torture him, they say. Don’t toy with him. Every time you flirt with him the team acts like you can’t mean it, and for a while it worked for you; you weren’t in love with Spencer. You weren’t playing with his feelings, but you didn’t love him, and then you joined the team and got to know him, watched him fluster at every comment you made or under any soft looking and realised you could love him. It was easy to fall for him. You liked doing it. But now he’s determined to write your affection off as a joke and going on dates? 

In the morning, when he’s sober, you’ll have to tell him how you feel. Or you could let him find someone more like him… ugh. It’s such a mess. 

You grapple with the size of your feelings for him as he hums and laughs his way down the hall to the glass door. On the street, he squints and straightens his back, fighting to regain his arm from your hold to cover your shoulder instead. “It’s cold,” he says in surprise. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine, I got my jacket. It’s a short walk, come on.”

His arm stops acting as protection and starts to use you for support. “I didn’t mean to drink so much.” 

“Drowning your sorrows is always a terrible idea because it tends to work,” you lament, less scared of the dark with him at your hip, though what protection he might offer is negated by the alcohol. 

“She kind of looked like you.” 

You squeeze your eyes together quickly. “Oh.” 

“I didn’t know she was going to. But she didn’t– she didn’t– it’s hard to talk. She didn’t listen like you do,” he says, lightly slurring, “she just stared at me like everyone used to in high school. Like she could tell there’s something wrong with me.” 

“Spencer, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I know,” he says. 

“Do you?” 

“Yes.” He frowns. “No, I don’t know. I don’t feel like there’s something wrong with me,” —his voice turns to a nearly indistinguishable mumble— “but everyone else always does.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.” 

“Is that why you make all your jokes?” 

“What jokes, babe?” 

“Like that! Like babe. It’s funny ‘cos you’d never date me.” 

You’d slow if he weren’t already walking at a snail's pace. “That’s not true. Let’s talk about it in the morning, okay?” 

“I won’t remember to ask you in the morning.” 

“Spencer, you remember everything.” 

He drags his feet. “I wish I wasn’t so weird,” he whines. It’s playful at the forefront but desperate otherwise, and it gives you pause. “I wish I was normal, and you could like me normal.” 

You look down at your hands, panicking, a flash of Is this a good idea? like an alarm in your head as you turn on the sidewalk to face him. He’s looking at you like he’s begging you to disagree with him. 

You’re happy to. 

“Spencer, I like you like this,” you insist loudly. His eyes and all his sweet lashes track the movement of your hand as you touch your chest, and your neck. “You’re not normal, I’m not normal. Do you know how many times I’ve been rejected? Just for being me? I’m too bossy, too outspoken, too– too high maintenance. I've had friends with good intentions tell me I need to lower my standards, need to relax, because otherwise I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I feel alone all the time.”

“But you’re perfect,” he says, puzzled. 

“To you. And you’re perfect to me.” Your hand crawls to the base of your throat. “So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. You think I’d come and get anybody else in the middle of the night dressed like this?” you ask him, gesturing to your ratty pyjamas and your dingy converse. 

“You look so cute,” he says mournfully. 

You roll your eyes. He’s too wasted for this conversation. “Come on, sweetheart. You can think about this too much in the morning. Let’s just get home in one piece.” Physically and emotionally. 

“Can I come home with you?” he asks. 

That had always been the plan. “Ask me nicely and I’ll consider it on the way.” 

— — 

Spencer shuts his eyes, hands itching to clap over his ears as you scratch the head of a spatula across your frying pan. “Is three eggs too many? People usually have two but that’s never enough for me.” 

“I think…” Oh my god the metal screeching is so loud. “You should have as many as you want. You know your body. There’s this study on intuitive eating…” I'm too hungover for this. “Three eggs is better than two.” 

“So you want three?” 

He cannot eat right now. “Yes. Please.” 

Spencer’s half sick with dehydration and half grief. He stayed at your house last night and he was too drunk to be nosy. He slept in your bed. He slept in your bed. He woke up to you at your vanity doing your hair, the nutty smell of hair oil mixed with the heat of the hair tool on high and realised with a start that he’d missed something he thought about all the time. 

You’d tipped your head back to smile at him. “There’s my boy. Sweet dreams?” 

He didn’t dream, but if he had, it would’ve been another agonising wish where you were his girlfriend, or his wife, or just there looking at him with love. He wakes up feeling sick because it isn’t true. And now you’re making him breakfast, humming a tune under your breath, sourdough sizzling under the grill and a shoddily blended avocado sitting in the bowl in front of him. 

You asked him for one thing. He picks up the fork and starts to mash the avocado again. He can’t fight the foreignness of sitting in your kitchen, a gap in his memory. 

He knows he told you about his date, how she looked like you, how she didn’t seem to like him much, but he’s struggling to collect the finer details. Why had you picked him up? He must’ve called you, but you could’ve said no. He remembers thinking you looked beautiful, but he always thinks that. 

The avocado is making him feel sick. 

“Here,” you say, sliding a plate of toast in front of him. “Do you want butter?” 

“I think I'm gonna throw up.” 

“You’re okay.”

“I can’t believe how I acted,” he says, pressing his palms to the hollows of his eyes. 

You turn off the hob. Fat bubbles and pops until it’s cooled. The clock on the wall by the refrigerator ticks incessantly. His slept-in shirt feels too tight despite the undone button. 

“Hey…” You round the island but don’t touch him, your voice gentle. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

He drags his hands down his face. “I can barely remember what I said.” 

“You were really nice to me… told me I looked pretty without my makeup, n’ that I was perfect. You were really nice.” 

Your tone is off. No flirtatiousness, no endless confidence, you sound wistful, like you’re glad he said it. You take the bowl of avocado he’s made a mess with and put it aside with the toast, resting your arm on the counter, and leaning into his space. “Spencer, last night? You didn’t do anything to be embarrassed of. You were nice, and kind. You tried to open the car door for me and you almost lost your eye, but you were fine. You don’t have anything to be worried about, really.”

“But it’s you.” 

“Gonna touch your hair,” you say, giving him enough time to move away as you reach out and rake back his fringe. His heart leaps into his mouth. “You said something last night like that, you know? Do you remember that? You said if you were normal.” You grace the skin beside his eye with the tip of your thumb, your perfume floating his way as you move. “And I said–”

“I’m not normal,” he says, remembering now. 

You’re not normal, I’m not normal, you’d said.

But you’re perfect, he’d said. 

To you. And you’re perfect to me.

“Right. We’re not normal, Spencer Reid, so forget that girl. She didn’t deserve you anyways,” you say. 

You draw a short, silken line down his cheek with the side of your pinky. To be touched so lightly has his stomach in knots —he’s not shocked by the swiftness with which your affection can make a bad situation good again. 

You turn away. “Now we should eat before everything goes cold.” 

He watches your shoulders move, and he remembers one last detail. So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. 

The way you’d said it… you couldn’t really mean…

“How’s your appetite? Still feeling sick?” you ask. 

Spencer smiles to himself, the ghost of your touch glowing warm on his cheek. “I’m feeling a lot better, actually.” 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

thank you for reading!!! please like/reblog or comment if you enjoyed, i appreciate anything and it always inspires me to write more<3!! my requests are pretty much always open for bombshell!reader (even though this one strays a bit from their usual story haha) so if you wanna see more let me know❤️

[augustinewrites]

“let me take you to dinner tonight.”

you look up from the handful of tulips you’re binding with twine to meet reo’s expectant gaze. 

“no.”

“come on,” he grins, taking the bouquet and placing it with the others. “we eat together all the time. in fact, we’ve already shared one morning coffee and one afternoon picnic. that’s basically two dates.”

“you mean the morning you brought me an overpriced coffee and the afternoon you almost fought a pigeon over french fries in front of my flowers?” 

he doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with your statement, nodding fervently. “yeah. we’ve covered morning and afternoon. the next natural course of action is to have dinner together.” 

he must read the hesitation in your expression, placing a hand over yours. electricity zips through your veins, but you don’t pull away. 

“hey, no pressure. no expectations,” he tells you softly. “just think of it as dinner between friends.”

“can i at least think about it?” 

“of course.” he checks his watch. “you have about ten hours to decide because i kind of already made a reservation.”

of course he did. because for all of your banter, he knows you could never say no to him. 

“okay, fine, i’ll go out with you. but only because you’re cute when you beg.” you decide, rolling your eyes when he does a quick fist pump. 

“i am cute, thank you. and i know i said to think of it as dinner between friends, but if at any point you feel the overwhelming urge to kiss me, you have my complete consent.” 

“go to work, reo,” you laugh, gently pushing his shoulder. 

“i’ll text you the details!”

_____

reo isn’t sure why he’s so nervous. he’s always been great at first dates– better than average, some might say. but something’s different this time around. maybe it’s the restaurant’s lighting, or maybe it’s the fact that it’s his first date with you. 

he’d come a little early and ordered a bottle of wine, knee bouncing under the table as he scrolled through his phone in an attempt to chase his nerves away. 

thankfully it’s not long before he spots the hostess leading you to the table (a few more minutes and he certainly would have spiraled). he’s quick to stand, walking around the table to greet you.

“hi,” he says, handing you a bouquet of roses before pulling your seat out for you. 

“these are beautiful, thank you,” you say, reo beaming as you gingerly hug the blooms to your chest.

once you’re both seated, he sneaks a glance at you before opening his menu. you look a little nervous, restlessly shifting in your chair and shifting your gaze around the room. 

“i’m sorry,” you blurt, curling in on yourself as if you’re embarrassed. “this place is– i probably should have googled it first. i’m so underdressed, i feel like everyone’s looking at me...” 

“of course they’re all looking at you. you’re the prettiest person in the room.”

(and, oh man, the way you look at him when he says that…it was like being bathed in soft sunshine. he could sit there and bask in it all day.)

but you lift your menu to hide your bashful expression and reo reaches across the table to pour you a bottle of wine, just to give himself something to do with his hands. 

“everything’s so expensive,” you murmur. 

the restaurant he’d chosen was one he was familiar with, customary for business meetings. he supposed it was on the higher end of the price range, but it only added to his ability to impress. 

money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a nice dinner and a pretty good bottle of wine. 

“i asked you out, i’m paying.” 

“we can just split it–” 

“it’s fine,” he waves off. “but if you insist, you can just cover the next one.”

you look up from your menu, amused. “we just sat down and you’re already asking me on a second date?”

he meets your gaze, grinning. “can you blame me?”

_____

despite the initial shock you’d received upon entering the restaurant, you slowly feel yourself begun to loosen up. maybe it’s the wine, or maybe it’s the fact that reo is…admittedly a really good date. 

(not just because he’s nice to look at, in a nice shirt with the two topmost buttons undone and trousers that hug his rear perfectly)

as the night wears on, you tell him a bit about yourself. about the things you like to do in your free time, your pet at home, how you ended up running a flower stall in the concrete jungle of downtown tokyo. he listens intently when you talk, asking questions here and there to convey his interest.

though he mostly keeps the conversation focused on you, he tells you about himself too. he talks about the recreational league he plays with on the weekends and the roommate that’s been his best friend since high school. he even talks about the charity gala he’s going to next weekend, representing his family’s business (it’s legit, you can google it! he laughs).

you actually know of the gala he’s talking about. it’s an annual fundraiser, and the order they’d put in at the flower shop you used to work at was one of the most expensive you’d ever seen. 

he insists on ordering dessert, the two of you sharing a piece of cheesecake as the night draws to a close. but before it does, you have to ask, 

“why did you ask me out?” 

he looks at you, seeming genuinely confused by your question. “what do you mean?”

you set your fork down, shrugging. “i’m not really your…type.”

“i have a type?” 

“influencers, ceo’s daughters, models…” you say, to list a few.

“you did google me when i was in the bathroom,” he laughs. he doesn’t seem offended, just amused.

you did google him, which is how you know he’s had a string of high profile relationships - and eventual breakups.

“your last date,” you remember. “why didn’t you see her again?”

he takes another bite of the cheesecake, chewing thoughtfully before answering, “nothing was wrong with her. she just weren’t right for me.”

“but i am?”

he pauses, then answers confidently, “i think you might be, yeah.” 

“is this the part where you tell me that we’re soulmates?” you tease, nudging the tip of his shoe with yours under the table. you’re trying to maintain a cool composure, but your heart is doing somersaults in your chest.

“no, because i’m a businessman,” he answers, nudging you back. “i believe in free will. when i see an opportunity, i just go for it. i’m not going wait for the universe to decide when i’ll get to be with my one true love.”

“so you believe in the human experience. subjective and objective choices. what about fate?”

“isn’t fate just a result of everyone’s choices? something inevitable, unavoidable.”

“description’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?” you counter. “think of it this way, i chose to set up my stall outside the restaurant, but it was fate that you were heading into it that night, which led to me being in this moment with you.” 

“one could argue that was just coincidence,” he points out. 

“you could. but maybe it was serendipity.” 

“now you’re just making up words,” he laughs, prompting you to throw your napkin at him. 

then he leans his elbows on the table, interlocking his fingers and resting his chin atop them. “to put it simply— i am here right now. it wasn’t some inevitable thing because i chose to be here. with you.” 

influencers, ceo’s daughters, models. he could be with anyone else in japan, but he chose to be here with you. at the beginning of the night, you weren’t really sure what to expect from him, judging from your brief encounters at your flower stall. you’d known he was decently charming, sure, but tonight you’re getting the full picture. 

and the way he looks at you now…it was like you hung the moon and stars. 

“i like when you say it like that,” you admit, feeling heat bloom across your cheeks. 

“the philosophy course i took in university is paying off then.” 

you’re about to do something completely stupid like kiss him when you realize just how quiet it is in the restaurant. you’d been so distracted, so enamoured with the man in front of you that everything else had blurred into the background.

you lean back to look around. it’s completely empty, save for the waitstaff and hostess. 

“did we stay past closing?” you frown, wondering how you’d lost track of time. 

“it’s fine,” he assures you, reaching across the table to place a hand over yours. “i told you i made a reservation.”

“for the entire restaurant?!”

again, he doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with your statement. “what did you think i meant?”

[undersprite]

2024 Comic Contest Results

Before we get started, I would like to extend a personal thank you to everyone who created an entry for the contest this year. Although we only got four entries this year, those four entries' dedication to telling stories that are novel and interesting for this community to enjoy is worthy of commendation in itself. For a while, I was scared we wouldn't even get enough entries to fill the podium; thanks to your efforts, this has not come to pass.

Since we have very few entries this time around, I'll be providing a link to each comic, with accompanying scores and excerpts from reviews. Now, catch the results under the cut:

Runner-Up: "The Undertale Game Comic" by FutureGamer25

(Average score: 15.5/50)

"As the submitter says, this was made in a day. I can’t be too hard on this out of principle..." - Soufon

"[...it] succeeded at making me laugh multiple times, thanks in no small part to how it deliberately wields nothing looking like it fits together." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

"You know, honestly for being made in less than a day and being posted 5 minutes before the deadline, I gotta give you a lot of credit for that. I don’t even think I could have made that in a day [...]" - Mufeet

"The freaking car and the ending got me a good chuckle. I'll give you that. I congratulate you for tossing your coin." - Subna

3rd: "Frisk Visits the Store and Nothing Happens" by Trooper3

(Average score: 34/50)

"I thought Sans and ESPECIALLY Papyrus were super funny [...] I think we’ve finally reached a point where the skele-bros are just consistently characterized properly now, and I love to see it." - Mufeet

"The FunMart[TM] makes an earnest effort to capture the feeling of exploring an area in an actual Toby Fox game, and [...] captures at least a bit of that shine." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

"I honestly like your idea, is funny and it works perfectly to show these OCs of yours in this format. I wish there was more content to see about them, I wish to know them [...]" - Subna

"As light as it is, I like having this kind of slice of life look into UT’s world, the comedy focus helping to make the comic feel more breezy than insubstantial." - Soufon

2nd: "Undertale: Pushing On" by Mouse

(Average score: 34.75/50)

"Of all the entries we got, this is the only one that really felt like it captured the essence of telling a story as if it were still part of a game—something I have sorely missed." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

"Great story and great teaching from it. Can add up greatly to UNDERTALE’s world and...tbh I’d LOVE to play a full game with Alvia." - Subna

"[...] I like having who [Gerson] is in UT be because of Alvia’s actions, like how the orange soul kid is framed as responsible for the bunny family in Snowdin’s success - having all the soul humans impact the underground like that helps all of them feel real to UT’s world[...]" -Soufon

"I was captivated from beginning to end, and god, the ending [...] it actually made me a bit teary-eyed." - Mufeet

1st: "Knock Knock" by StarlightShores and ToMoChao

(Average score: 47/50)

"I was not expecting something like this out of this contest. Knock Knock is a substantial storyline, not a peek into an adventure, or a silly reprieve." - Soufon

"Even if it’s pretty lengthy, it keeps you engaged, to know where this is all going, all the way to the end." - Subna

"Flowey and Sans pair-ups are so rare, but when done it is ALWAYS such a fun time. They both play off each other so well, and it is no exception in this comic, especially towards the end where they start to bond over dealing with the loss of someone important to them." - Mufeet

"You created a story going on a thousand panels where, while reading it, my attention never flagged [...] You created a webcomic the Undertale fanbase will, if there’s any justice left around here, be obsessed with for years to come. It’s art, I’m afraid." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

Our full score card for the event can be seen here. The full reviews will be available in the Discord server on request.

With regards to prizes: the judge whom was contributing to our prize pool has begun college for the year, and unfortunately they were unable to set aside the money they had originally promised for the cash prize. The illustration prize is still available; winners, please reach out to fmsdraws on Discord to claim your prize.

And that leaves me...with this blog.

I'd like to write up a proper postmortem for this experience, but that can come in another week or two. For now, please enjoy the comics and celebrate the victors!

[monarch-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

A Jason Grace Analysis 

While my Jason fics relies on mainly interpretation and headcanons, this one’s mostly going on the limited list of Jason’s life from the books. YOU’RE ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH ME,JUST DO IT RESPECTFULLY IN THE COMMENTS. be nice pls.

Spoiler alert 🚨 (for PJO, HOO and TOA)

Jason Grace is a character who was, in a way, screwed over by Rick during his writing of Heroes of Olympus and eiDzgventually Trials of Apollo. His story was very sad, but never explored to its fullest potential and in some cases didn’t make sense. He’s a character who is seen as ‘boring’ by the fandom, which , in a way, makes sense. Uncle Rick didn’t do him justice, so I’m here for a Jason Grace analysis.

Firstly, Jason’s incredibly depressing life. Because I do not know what vendetta that Rick had against my boy, but I would argue his story is the most tragic of everyone in the books. Yes. Even Nico. 

Jason’s mother was an unhinged alcoholic who was obsessed with fame. For the first 2 years of his life, he was basically looked after by his sister, who was also a young child. As hard as Thalia tried, she probably wasn’t the best caregiver on account of her age. His mother was unstable, which has got to leave some scars, even if you’re a young kid, because you still know what’s going on to some extent. And Jupiter seemed to leave the family to their own devices after a while, not even staying for a kid. So Jason has been basically abandoned, keep track of how often that happens. 

Then Jason was abandoned again, this time by his mother, left as a sacrifice for Hera. And he wasn’t sacrificed just anywhere, he was left at the Wolf House, where Lupa tested him to see if he was ‘pup or food’. So Jason, at two years old, was tested by a Wolf Goddess, a ruthless one at that, who threatened to kill him if he didn’t live up to expectations. Just a great environment for a toddler to live in. And while the time he spends in the Wolf House is unspecified, the general consensus is that it was for a year or two. This is more of a headcanon, but the implications of ‘pup or food’ could show that he stayed with her longer than the average Roman demigod. In SoN, it’s shown that most demigods do their Wolf House training for like, a week. And the training sounds harsh when Percy, age 16 does it. So imagine a 2 year old, going through that, constantly. Then he is off to New Rome. 

In HoO, it’s pointed out that Jason has 12 lines of his forearm for his years of service in New Rome. 12 lines representing 12 years of service.

Jason has been serving 12 years of military service since he was around 3. So that means that this literal infant is just… in the military. How does that work? Was baby Jason just running around in little armour? Was he doing the same drills as other kids when he was much, much younger? Also the fact that in Camp Jupiter, you train for 10 years, then go to live in New Rome. But Jason has been serving for longer than that, with 2 extra years. It seemed like he wasn’t going to retire anytime soon in the books, so that also adds some mystique to his character that was never explored.

Then we move into the other things at Camp Jupiter, which is that Jason was treated like a statue or a star, instead of a person. Hazel says that he is ‘more legend than boy’ which is so sad! This kid, this 15 year old is seen by those around him as a hero, a legend to look up to. Did Jason have any other friends? While Reyna seems to be close, Reyna had a crush on him, and while he didn’t know that, it must have made the friendship a bit… different. Jason isn’t specified to have any other friends in the books, probably because everyone was to in awe of his status as a Son of Jupiter. And while Jason may care about the rules, in Roman terms he was a very radical person. He was just trying to live a calm life, to not be known only as the Son of Jupiter. He joins the least respected cohort. He tries to take less important quests. But it doesn’t work, because he does get assigned big quests and while he is in the 5th cohort, people still treat him like a legendary hero instead of just a guy. And while the phrase ‘victim of nepotism’ is quite controversial, I think that Jason actually fits that bill.

Then we come to SoN. You know that tweet that’s like: hey we’re calling off the search party. we found a different guy out there we like more. That’s what Camp Jupiter did to Jason. Again, he was abandoned, this time by his own Camp. Like I know 8 months is a while, but oh my gosh, do we have to elect a new praetor? There’s also a contradiction. Percy is a Greek demigod, which isn’t a thing the Roman’s really like. Yet after a couple weeks at Camp, he’s already a PRAETOR? While Jason was put down for being ‘unrecognisable as a Roman’, they elected a very Greek person as a praetor? He was immediately accepted into the highest position of power? Also the fact that Jason wasn’t looked for. At all. While CHB was scrambling to find their boy (as they should), no one in CJ cared? Like, aren’t they the ones with the giant searching eagles? It seemed like everyone forgot about him, with him being missing not being a huge thing for most people (except Hazel and Reyna to my memory, fill me in if anyone else gave two frogs) and that’s gotta sting. The knowledge that your entire camp not only replaced you, but didn’t bother to look. 

Jason also had amnesia and never regained huge chunks of his memory. That must be horrible, to have parts of your life gone, to not remember much. While Percy got everything back, Jason got so much less!

Jason goes on the quest, then comes back. He goes to CHB, goes to school. He starts having a normal life. And he gets broken up with, making him genuinely sad. And while I know that Piper had no ill intentions whatsoever when she broke up with him, that also could count as an abandonment. Because they don’t really keep in touch in the book, they seem to go their separate ways. So kinda half of an abandonment, even though both parties weren’t in blame.

Finally we have his death. While Thalia got turned into a tree by Zeus, a slightly caring act for a god, Jason died. This could be because Jupiter is crueller than Zeus or it could be because of the cycle of patricide, with Jupiter killing his father, who did the same to his father. Maybe it’s because of his paranoia. Maybe it’s because Jason called Jupiter unwise, but it still counts as an abandonment. The god saved Thalia (she could be seen as non threatening, not a killer. Not someone who could carry on the tradition of son killing father) and abandoned Jason, left him to die the ‘heroes death’. 

Jason’s life has been one big struggle and rejection. 4.5 times, he was abandoned, left somewhere by someone. Left to die in the end. He was a child soldier, meaning that he was a kid that never got to be a kid, just a tool for the gods, for years and years. And he struggled with making friends, making new rules, trying to push the camp into the future. Seen as unroman, even Reyna says it. That’s an awful life, one that Rick Riordan never explored and one that’s contradicted at times.

Jason was a character that Rick dropped the ball on so hard.

Because, while his life is incredibly difficult, it has so much potential for storytelling, that Rick  dashes on the rocks, leaving the fandom with a character who people acknowledge as weak and boring.

So, in the fandom, Jason is regarded as having no personality, or being a knock off Percy. So, Jason not really having a huge personality, as a kid who trained as a soldier from a young age, makes sense. He was spending half his childhood trying to survive so trying to figure out what MBTI type he was may have fallen low on his list of priorities. Then he got amnesia, and sent on the Seven quest. So Jason not having time to develop a sense of personality makes sense, buts here’s the catch. It’s never explored. Rick never, ever explains why that might be happening, which could make for a compelling story arc. Rick never expands on the child soldier thing at all, which sucks because instead of Jason having an identity crisis about Greek and Roman camps, he could be really weird since he’s a child soldier. (I’m aware that they’re all child soldiers, but I refer to Jason as child soldier since he was just a baby when he started)

And the seeds were there. For example, the scene with Jason being wary about Nico and not wanting to rescue him, that could have been Jason being taught that practicality is key. That some people are expendable. He could have learnt that from the ARMY THAT HE GREW UP IN. That could have been a plot point, that Jason struggles with taking breaks or knowing that’s he’s appreciated, that his childhood was abusive and not normal, that life isn’t a constant battle for survival. That could have been his arc! All of the pieces were right there! Rick, dude, you’re a great author, but you fumbled so hard on this one!

And also the fact that… unpopular opinion time….

Jason wasn’t stronger than Percy, but he should have been.

Jason has been in the army since he was a toddler, and I know that Percy’s really powerful, but come on! Jason being this really nice, really powerful kid with super strong powers and no social skills could have slayed. Maybe this is the inner Jason stan in me, but I personally think that Jason should have been stronger than Percy, simply because it makes more sense. Jason has been training for ages and ages, he single handedly fought a Titan at younger than Percy (around 14 or 15) so it seemed like his powers were muted by Rick. This could probably be because the PJO fandom is like a toxic TikTok boy mom when it comes to Percy (I can be like this too), making him centre stage and getting annoyed when he isn’t. Percy is meant to be the strongest, which isn’t bad, in some situations it just doesn’t fit. Or maybe Percy’s just wildly OP.

This is not to say that in the book Jason was weak, but people treat him like that.

And Jason’s really sad life is never explored! He should have been struggling with 1500 mental illnesses at once because that constant abandonment? The stress of everyone’s expectations? Trying not to die at like 4? He’s neither the eldest nor a girl, but he’s got so much eldest daughter syndrome and is burnt out gifted kid syndrome personified. And it’s hardly touched on! 

There’s also the fact that’s a really small nitpick, but, the fact that Jason only has 1 single lip scar? That shows that Rick wasn’t paying attention to his own character. Jason trained with the Wolf Goddess then was in the army, he should be covered in them.

In conclusion, Jason’s very sad and tragic story was hardly utilised and the very interesting parts of his character were not used in a way they could be. But don’t worry Jason. While Rick Riordan may have flopped you, you are one of my favourite characters.

Peace ☮️

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing #5

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Shorter list this time, but longer points. I expect this one to be more divisive, but it is what it is, and this is what ‘no one tells you’ about writing, after all. This one’s all about feedback and how to take it, and give it.

1. Not everyone will like your book, no matter how good it is

I’ve said this before, granted, but sometimes you can have very arbitrary reasons for not liking an otherwise great story. For example: I refuse to watch Hamilton. Why? Because everyone I knew and their dog was trying to cram it down my throat when it came out and I still don’t really like musicals, and didn’t appreciate the bombardment of insisting I’ll like it simply because everyone else does. I’m sure it’s great! I’m just not watching it until I want to watch it.

It can be other reasons, too. I won’t read fanfic that’s written in first person, doesn’t matter how good it is. Someone might not watch a TV show because the primary cast is white or not-white. Someone might not watch a movie because an actor they despise is in it, even if the role is fantastic. Someone might not watch or read a story that’s too heavy on the romance, or not enough, or too explicit. I went looking for beta readers and came across one who wouldn’t touch a book where the romance came secondary in a sci-fi or fantasy novel. Kept on scrolling.

Someone can just think your side character is unfunny and doesn’t hear the same music as everyone else. Someone can just not like your writing style with either too much or not enough fluff, or too much personality in the main narrator. Or they have triggers that prevent them from enjoying it the way you intend.

How someone expresses that refusal is not your job to manage. You cannot force someone to like your work and pushing too hard will just make it worse. Some people just won’t like it, end of story.

2. Criticism takes a very long time to take well

Some people are just naturally better at taking constructive criticism, some have a thick skin, some just have a natural confidence that beats back whatever jabs the average reader or professional editor can give. If you’re like me, you might’ve physically struggled at first to actually read the feedback and insisted that your beta readers color-coded the positive from the negative.

It can be a very steep climb up the mountain until you reach a point where you know you’re good enough, and fully appreciate that it is actually “constructive” and anything that isn’t, isn’t worth your time.

The biggest hurdle I had to climb was this: A criticism of my work is not a criticism of me as a person.

Yes, my characters are built with pieces of my personality and worldview and dreams and ideals, but the people giving you feedback should be people who either already know you as a person and are just trying to help, or are people you pay to be unbiased and only focus on what’s on the page.

Some decisions, like a concerning moral of your story, is inadvertently a criticism of your own beliefs—like when I left feedback that anxiety can’t just be loved away and believing so is a flawed philosophy. I did that with intent to help, not because I thought the writer incompetent or that they wrote it in bad faith.

I’m sure it wasn’t a fun experience reading what I had to say, either. It’s not fun when I get told a character I love and lost sleep over getting right isn’t getting the same reception with my betas. But they’re all doing it (or at least they all should be doing it) from a place of just wanting to help, not to insult your writing ability. Even if your writing objectively sucks, you’re still doing a lot more just by putting words on paper than so many people who can’t bring themselves to even try.

As with all mediums subjects to critique, one need not be an author to still give valuable feedback. I’m not a screenwriter, but from an audience’s standpoint, I can tell you what I think works. Non-authors giving you pointers on the writing process? You can probably ignore that. Non-authors giving you pointers on how your character lands? Then, yeah, they might have an opinion worth considering.

3. Parsing out the “constructive” from the criticism isn’t easy

This goes for people giving it as well. Saying things like “this book sucks” is an obviously useless one. Saying “I didn’t like this story because it was confusing and uncompelling” is better. “I think this story was confusing and uncompelling because of X, and I have some suggestions here that I think can make it better.”

Now we’re talking.

Everyone’s writing style is different. Some writers like a lot of fluff and poetic prose to immerse you in the details and the setting, well beyond what you need to understand the scene or the plot. Their goal is to make this world come alive and help you picture the scene exactly the way they see it in their minds.

There’s writers who are very light on the sensory fluff and poetry, trying to give you the impression of what the scene should look and feel like and letting you fill in the missing pieces with your own vision.

Or there’s stories that take a long time to get anywhere, spending many pages on the small otherwise insignificant slice-of-life details as opposed to laser-precision on the plot, and those who trim off all the fat for a fast-paced rollercoaster.

None of these are inherently bad or wrong, but audiences do have their preferences.

The keyword in “constructive criticism” is “construct”. As in, your advice is useless if you can’t explain why you think an element needs work. “It’s just bad” isn’t helpful to anyone.

When trying to decide if feedback has merit, try to look at whatever the critic gives you and explain what they said to yourself in your own words. If you think changing the piece in question will enhance your story or better convey what you’re trying to say, it’s probably solid advice.

Sometimes you just have to throw the whole character out, or the whole scene, whole plot line and side quest. Figuring out what you can salvage just takes time, and practice.

4. Just when you think you’re done, there’s more

There’s a quote out there that may or may not belong to Da Vinci that goes “art is never finished, only abandoned.” Even when you think your book is as good as it can be, you can still sleep on it and second-guess yourself and wonder if something about it could have been done better or differently.

There is such a thing as too much editing.

But it also takes a long time to get there. Only 10-15% of writing is actually penning the story. The rest is editing, agonizing over editing, re-editing, and staring at the same few lines of dialogue that just aren't working to the point that you dream about your characters.

It can get demoralizing fast when you think you’ve fixed a scene, get the stamp of approval from one reader, only for the next one to come back with valid feedback neither of you considered before. So you fix it again. And then there’s another problem you didn’t consider. And then you’re juggling all these scene bits and moments you thought were perfect, only for it to keep collapsing.

It will get there. You will have a manuscript you’re proud of, even if it’s not the one you thought you were going to write. My newest book isn’t what I set out to write, but if I stuck to that original idea, I never would have let it become the work that it is.

5. “[Writing advice] is more like guidelines than actual rules.”

Personally, I think there’s very few universal, blanket pieces of writing advice that fit every book, no exceptions, no conditions, no questions asked. Aside from: Don’t sacrifice a clear story for what you think is cool, but horribly confusing.

For example, I’m American, but I like watching foreign films from time to time. The pacing and story structure of European films can break so many American rules it’s astonishing. Pacing? What pacing? It’s ~fancy~. It wants to hang on a shot of a random wall for fifteen seconds with no music and no point because it’s ~artsy~. Or there is no actual plot, or arc, it’s just following these characters around for 90 minutes while they do a thing. The entire movie is basically filler. Or the ending is deeply unsatisfying because the hoity-toity filmmaker believes in suffering for art or… something.

That doesn’t fly with mainstream American audiences. We live, breathe, and die on the Hero’s Journey and expect a three-act-structure with few novel exceptions.

That does not mean your totally unique or subversive plot structure is wrong. So much writing advice I’ve found is solid advice, sure, but it doesn’t often help me with the story I’m writing. I don’t write romance like the typical romance you’d expect (especially when it comes to monster allegories). There’s some character archetypes I just can’t write and refuse to include–like the sad, abusive, angsty, 8-pack abs love interest, or the comedic relief.

Beyond making sure your audience can actually understand what you’re trying to say, both because you want your message to be received, and you don’t want your readers to quit reading, there is an audience for everything, and exceptions to nearly every rule, even when it comes to writing foundations like grammar and syntax.

You don’t even have to put dialogue in quotes. (Be advised, though, that the more ~unique~ your story is, the more likely you are to only find success in a niche audience).

Lots of writing advice is useful. Lots of it is contradictory. Lots of it is outdated because audience expectations are changing constantly. There is a balance between what you *should* do as said by other writers, and what you think is right for your story, regardless of what anyone else says.

Just don’t make it confusing.

—

I just dropped my cover art and summary for my debut novel. Go check it out and let me know what you think!

[johnnycakesswitch]

thought up hugging headcanons-

i feel like depending on pony’s mood and who he’s with, his hugs vary. if it’s someone he’s school friends with/he’s in a bad mood he’ll do a half hug with one arm. but if he’s really upset or it’s one of his brothers he kinda runs at them and buries his face in their chests. sometimes internal sounds calm him down so he prefers to do this with darry since darry and him have the height difference to do so and have easy heartbeat access. with soda he’ll bury his face in his shoulder

which leads me to soda! soda is a bear hugger-he’ll hug from behind, he’ll hug from the front, from the side, he’ll tackle you to the ground with a hug. he’s like a dog. you leave him for five minutes and when you come in the door he’s leaping on you so hard you fall down. his hugs are so warm because he radiates heat and he’s genuinely such a sweetie-he just feels so hard and his immediate reaction is to hug, which has gotten him into some trouble with people who don’t like physical contact, which he doesn’t get because he loves it, so why doesn’t everyone else?

darry is next-i’m torn on darry tbh! darry doesn’t strike me as the type to crave physical affection like soda, or even like pony-but if he really just needs a hug or someone asks him for one, he gives BONE CRUSHING hugs that crack your spine so hard you’d expect it to glow like a glow stick-he also lifts you into the air and just holds you to his chest or against his shoulder. it isn’t often hugs happen with him. but when they do, they’re nice if you like tight hugs-sometimes he doesn’t realize his own strength like he just expects everyone to be as strong as him so when he hears spines popping he’s like ‘wtf’

johnny’s hugs tend to either be short or painfully long depending on his mood. if he’s genuinely upset, all you have to do is open your arms. he’ll hesitate for a good minute, and sometimes he’ll deny the hug. but when he doesn’t, his hugs are so soft and sweet. it’s the one time he doesn’t mind being the smallest because he can burrow into your tummy or chest and he’s just content with that. sometimes though he’ll give a quick hug and then back up. this is usually after a fight with his parents tho. he kinda just craves some form of affection after. but you always need to initiate. catch him with a loaded gin in his mouth before he asks for a hug

dally doesn’t hug. ever. the closest he’ll come is an arm around the shoulder but this is really only with johnny or pony. sometimes he’ll press them to the side of his ribs in a small show of affection but only if they’re in private and if johnny specifically is going through something. dally never gives full hugs. but he’ll put a hand on johnny’s shoulder, or he’ll sling his arm around pony. little things like that. but it’s sweet nonetheless

two bit is the type to give back pats through hugs but it turns from back pats to full on slapping until whoever he’s hugging has bright red handprints all over their backs lmao-he also gives noogies after the hugs because he tends to hug out of affection more than when people actually need it. he’s another bear hugger. man has no boundaries. his hugs aren’t great but if he’s the only one around he wouldn’t be too bad of an option. he has the same reaction when someone is upset and he can’t take it serious.

steve is tough because i don’t know much about him but i feel like he’s just your average hugger. he kinda just rubs your back and puts his arms under your armpits. he’s another back patter but not as tough as two bit. he genuinely doesn’t have a good or bad hug. it’s just average. but he’ll always be the one to end the hug by saying he ‘doesn’t want to ruin his tuff reputation’

anyway, hope these are good!

STOP I ADORE THESE OMG 😭😭😭😭 they’re so real and in character and saying that Soda just feels so hard and his immediate reaction is to hug?? So true, he’s got so much emotion that he needs to let it out physically, he loves a good squeezy hug 🥺 these are just precious I really love them

[observeowl]

Second Chance | Chapter 14 - Call it off

Series masterlist

In the end, you decided to stand there and waited until he came down. There was nowhere else for him to go other than towards you. You continued staring at him as he continued smiling at the girl he was holding around her waist. You don’t understand what you were feeling, you were so angry but at the same time unbothered. 

It wasn’t until the last few steps did Andrew notice you. His hands left the girl’s body immediately causing her to look at him. “Y/N…” At least he managed to look half decent to look ashamed about his actions. 

“Are you going to explain yourself?” 

“I… I just wanted more excitement.” He started. “We have been going out for so long but we haven’t done anything more than holding hands. I am tired of being stagnant with our relationship, we hardly go out anymore because you’re focusing on your studies.” 

“What’s wrong with that? All I’m hearing is that she is prioritising her studies because that’s what is important for a student.” Diana came to your rescue before you could speak. You pulled her back slightly before telling her to lower down her volume. Even a normal noise is loud at a museum and you’re not particularly interested in letting everyone hear your business. 

“If you have a problem with that, you should have come to talk to me instead of cheating behind my back. I would have worked out something so we could spend our time together, or if we really couldn’t, none of us would have to be the bad person. I may be the bad guy here now breaking off our relationship, but you’re not looking too good either in front of your new side chick.” 

You gave her a glance and while she does dress up nice, you can’t expect her to have a small expense either. “Good luck.” You nodded towards her, whether it was to her or to him, doesn’t matter. 

Camellia and Diana followed after you as you let out a huge sigh stepping out of the museum. Not a great start to a new life, Y/N… Is it so hard to get your love life right? 

“Hey, don’t worry about that guy now. Less of him, more of us!” Diana encouraged. 

“Yeah! How about we spend the rest of the day together, we can watch a movie, go cafe hopping, thrift shop to get over Andrew!” Camellia listed out ideas of what you can do together. “There’s no getting over Andrew, I’ve already gotten over him. And there’s no need to spend more time out. He’s right on one point, I’m focusing on my studies, so I’ll be heading back now. Feel free to continue hanging out without me.” You turned and headed home without looking back at them. 

Camellia and Diana were reluctant to see you go, but they knew nothing could change your mind and it wasn’t the first time you break apart from a group to leave first. “Come on, let’s go. We can bring something back for her tonight.” 

You were waiting for your bus to arrive when something blocked the sun from shining at you. Thinking it was the bus, you looked up trying to find the number but only came across Natasha. “I thought you were out with your friends?” Natasha asked as she sat next to you. “I was, now I am not.” You connected your earpods to your phone to block her out and she got the hint that you didn’t want to speak to her anymore. She continued sitting there even when your bus arrived.

Why is it so hard to not bump into people?

You sat at your desk staring into the void, another half a semester and it would be time for your final examination for your third year in university and sad to say, you are not confident in increasing your grades even with this restart. If there was a limit cap assigned to each person when brought to earth, this would be your limit, just ever so slightly above the average. 

Shaking your head, you opened your laptop and cleared the emails before getting started on the hardest module this semester, Financial Investment, the bane of your existence. If there was one module that could make or break you, this would be it. 

Burying your head into it, you managed to do about two hours worth before taking a break, something you haven’t accomplished in a long time. Moving onto the next module, something slightly easier for you brain since it was something you did before entering university. 

You were just about to get the answer for the last question when someone knocked on your front gate. You were so close to finishing so you left them hanging as you wrote your last sentence before rushing to get to the door. 

“Heyyy!! We didn’t want you to be left alone after a day like this, so we got us things to hang out! We got drinks, snacks and we’ll order food when we get hungry later.” Diana stuffed the goods in front of your face to emphasise her point. “Are your parents in?” The more sensible, laidback, Camellia asked. 

“No, they’re out until tonight.” You shook your head and let them in. Sifting through the bags you saw that they brought Soju, a type of Korean alcohol. “You actually brought alcohol?” 

“Why are you acting as if you don’t drink alcohol? I want to play the part of comforting a friend through their breakup.” 

“You're gonna have to find another friend for that.” 

They got comfortable on the couch and logged into Netflix before starting to decide what they wanted to eat. Scrolling through the options on the phone, they couldn’t decide what they want, not particularly craving for anything. “How about Mexican? I feel like trying a burrito.” You offered, not fond of them taking a long time to decide and having to wait for them before starting the movie. 

“Alright. This place’s review ain’t bad, I’ll pass the phone, just input what you want.” Camellia announced.

It was finally getting to the good part of the movie when the doorbell rang. Diana made sure the movie was paused and even brought the remote with her before getting to the door. However, when she opened the door, she wasn’t faced with the delivery man but Natasha. “Is Y/N here?” She asked.

“Ahh, yeah… Y/N! Natasha is here for you.”

“Is there something I can help you with?” You don’t understand why Natasha was standing in front of your house. “Nothing. I just thought you were alone so I came to drop something for you. I know you tend to skip dinner if you’re alone.” You looked down at her hands and indeed there was a paper bag full of food for you.

“Natasha…,” you sighed and stepped past the door to let it close behind you, “I appreciate this, but you have to know that it’s not going to lead to anything. I don’t want us to be uncomfortable around each other when we see each other in school.”

She nodded. “I know. But we are still friends, I don’t see why I can’t see you outside of school. I can care for you as a friend would. Just like how Camellia and Diana are with you right now.” 

Because I know you can’t keep within the boundaries. You’re just great like that, when you want something, you put your all to make sure you get it. You’re not a bad person, Natasha, but I’m not sure if I want history to repeat itself again. 

“We’ll see how it goes.” 

“I don’t know what you’re feeling right now, but I got a burger and waffle for you.” She handed the bag over before turning away. 

“I’ll see you in school, Natasha.” She brightened up slightly hearing your voice directed at her. “I’ll see you in school too.”

You sighed and entered your home again, this time with the bag of food with you. “Mate, we really have to talk about this.” 

“Anyone want some food before the driver arrives?”

“Nahh, Natasha bought it specifically for you. I wouldn’t dare to eat it.” You sighed and removed it from the packaging and indeed, she ordered it specifically for you, as if it wasn’t clear enough from her personally delivering it to you. She remembered how you liked your burger, no pickle, no tomato with extra onion. 

The doorbell rang again but this time, you didn’t want to leave your seat to get the food anymore. “I’ll put your share in the microwave. Maybe you can have it for breakfast tomorrow or when you get hungry in the middle of the night.” Even your friends were wary of your mood change. 

“Right, now’s the time we can drink since we have food in our bellies!” Diana gave each of you a bottle before taking her bowl. “Drink up! We are going to play truth or dare later, and I need you to be tipsy and not in your logical mind.” She didn’t have to encourage you, you were already gulping down the first few sips.

“Come on… this is getting too boring and awkward, yall want me to talk right? So get the conversation moving.” 

Camellia and Diana looked at each other before taking a sip of their own. “Why did you go for the second round of Logistic Director? I mean, you had no reason to do it, most students have their title for one year before passing it on. In fact you’re considered the minority to even have a title.” Camellia asked. 

“You’re right, most students don’t even go for the title or the position, but I’m not great in my studies and I have to rely on other means to get a position in the workforce. To have some semblance that I got what it takes. I don’t have it down like most people think I do, so I have to take whatever scraps left to put myself out there.”

Contrary to what people think, you’re a lightweight drinker. A can of beer is your go to, not this alcohol percentage in the double digits. You felt restless, unable to stay in a single spot so you kept walking around. Doing this made you unaware that your friends weren’t drinking as fast as you were. You started talking a lot more than you would, a lot louder, more daring, cutting in and it was a very different side for your friends to see.

“What about you? Are you seeing any guys at the moment? I know your flirting game is very strong.” You pointed at Diana as you took your last sip of soju. You swayed on your feet and your friends quickly brought you back to the couch to sit. Your face flushed with imprecise movements were worthy of their camera space. “You guys are not answering the questions.” You whined. 

“I am trying to find someone, but I have been unsuccessful so far.”

“Aww, I’m sure you will find one before you graduate.” 

“What about you? Do you like Natasha?” 

“Of course I like her. She used to be my wife!” 

“Your wife? I think you have finally drank too much. Camellia, go get her some water.” 

“I’m not joking! We were married for five years, but it didn’t work, we started arguing a lot and were going to get a divorce in the end.”

“Yeah yeah, and my boyfriend is Charles Leclerc. I can’t believe you still like her after saying you didn’t and going out with Andrew.” 

“So you do have a boyfriend!” 

“No I don’t!” 

“You don’t?” 

“Come on, let’s get you in bed before your parents come back and realise you’re drunk.” 

The next morning, you woke up with your blazing alarm, feeling more drain than ever. Memories were hazy, not really being able to remember what happened after seeing Natasha. Looking around, your room looks clean and untouched so you rule out doing anything crazy that you will regret. 

Having a pounding head first thing in the morning wasn’t really in your checklist but it managed to sneak its way in there. It’s worse than you ever felt before during your previous university time. You definitely have felt these kinds when working though. Groaning out of bed, you wander to the kitchen to find something to help with the pain. 

“You’re finally up, it’s almost lunch time.” Your mum said as she saw you walking into the kitchen. “You must have been really tired last night. When we came back, you didn’t even move a muscle when we called.” 

“Yeah, we went out for the whole day so I was tired from walking for a long time. Just the last chance to really relax before the finals starts. It’s coming in about… three weeks.” You finally find the painkillers and pop one into your mouth before getting a glass of water. 

“Well, go freshen up and we can go for brunch together.” 

As you showered, you were still racking your brain to find something that happened last night. You knew you drank soju, but it was just a weird feeling having a gap in your memories. No matter how hard you tried, you just had no recollection of what happened after Diana asked about Natasha. Reluctantly, texting them was the only solution you had. But before you couldn’t even type the message out, there was an unread message from the group with a picture in it. 

Didn’t think you could be this adorable. Diana sent a picture of you lying on the couch. You groaned out loud once you saw it. All the image of you being stoic that you sought to maintain just vanished. You better not spread that photo around. You texted back. 

Why is this life tougher and harder than the first? You thought. 

The brunch was great, you were craving Nandos so that’s what both of you went for. You did a little shopping, bought some clothes, and replenished some groceries before heading back home. It was a really hot day so you were glad to enjoy some free aircon at the mall.

Series masterlist

@queen-of-chaotic-surprises @esposadejoyhuerta @gemz5 @natsxwife @dyslexic-dreamer @unexpected-character @eternalnight410 @leenasayeed @oh-thats-sad @skz-xii @gay-frogs-dancing-around @justspance

[kyasemi]

Murder Drones Incorrect Quotes

N: Now, Uzi, all of us are doing this because we care about you, okay?

V: Expect for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: So… who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon?

Uzi: We’re chopsticks!

N: Well… that’s cute!

N: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

V: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Go and tell V why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots.

N: It’s because they need adult supervision!

V:

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

V: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before

N: 

N: *sobs*

Uzi: You fucking scared them, you idiot.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?

N: How did you know I was up until 3am?

V: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me?

N: I don’t know. When are you going to ask me to?

*the next day*

V: And you just ran away?!

Uzi: I didn’t expect them to flirt back!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Don’t worry, I’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

V: I think you mean cards.

N: They did not.

Uzi, pulling out knives: I did not.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: Oh, so you two are getting along very… cordial now?

V: Cordial? Nah, we’re friends.

N: Friends?

V: Yeah. After you stopped us fighting, we got to talking. Seems like we have some common interests.

Uzi: We both love butterflies.

N: Aww–

Uzi: And beating people up.

N: Oh, okay.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.

V: Sacrifice? I nominate Uzi.

Uzi: Wait, what?

V: Because you’re little, you’ll fit on a barbecue.

Uzi: I’m 5’9, it’s like average height in most of the world!

N: It’s not that kind of sacrifice guys!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Where are you going?

N: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn’t get me one!

Uzi: I told you I did! It’s coming here on Friday!

V, knowing full well that Uzi got N an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

N: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

V: Not when you’re playing with Uzi, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog”.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: So, what is V to you?

Uzi: The reason I wake up every morning.

N: …that’s adorable.

V earlier that morning, barging into Uzi’s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: Guys it’s a shooting star, let’s make a wish!

Uzi: I wish for good grades.

V: Nerd.

Uzi: Nevermind, I wish upon the shooting star to fall down at a 30 degree velocity aiming for V :).

N: Uzi…

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Come on, V. Nobody actually believes that N is in love with me.

V, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that N is helplessly in love with Uzi.

*Everyone raises their hand*

Uzi: N, put your hand down

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: So you’re dating N?

Uzi: What? No! I’m just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.

V: That’s literally a wedding ring.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Lizzy: If I were a drink, I’d be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?

Uzi: Bleach.

V: Sewage.

Lizzy: …please calm down, edgelords.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N, about Uzi: Can I tell them they look nice? 

V: Sure. 

N: Can I tell them I respect them? 

V: Maybe, if they ask. 

N: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs? 

V: … 

V: I’d save that for later.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi, to N: I mean, I get complimented all the time- 

V: *starts cackling* 

Uzi: I do! 

V: *laughs harder*

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting* 

Uzi: *walks in and sits on N’s lap* 

The Squad: … 

V: Why are you sitting there? 

Uzi: There’s no free seats! 

V: But we made sure there was enough room for- 

N: *hugs Uzi tightly* There are no free seats.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi, holding out a cookie for N: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! 

N: *Ugly crying* 

Uzi, holding out another cookie for V: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! 

V, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V, watching N do something stupid: Uzi, you're officially only the second highest risk here. 

Uzi: Hell yeah! I'm gonna— 

V: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Comparing Uzi and N is like comparing apples and oranges.

N: We’re both unique in our own ways?

V: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Uzi: Which one of us is the orange?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Okay, what does A stand for?

N: Arson.

Uzi: Aw, you’re so good. Okay! What does B stand for?

N: Barson.

V: *cackling*

Uzi: What stands for C?

N: Commit arson.

V: Oooo. Uzi: D!

N: Don’t come near me, I’m going to commit arson.

V: *more cackling*

[feyburner]

hello mr feyburner sir i really want to get into baking but i am scared to mess up and recipes terrify me. i only know one simple sponge cake recipe that my mom taught me anyway point is what were the things you wished you knew before you started baking? i know it’s a lot of trial and error but would you let us know what to start with and how to not get completely overwhelmed by the fact that i am not immediately good at it…

(Also if u have a sponge cake recipe of yours i would love it!!!)

1.

The first step to being less scared is accepting that you are going to mess up. In fact, the more you bake, the more you will mess up; you can’t fuck what you’re not doing. There is no avoiding it. Sometimes your fuckup will be fixable. Sometimes it won’t be fixable but you can still eat the end result. Sometimes it won’t be fixable and also the end result is garbage, and now you’ve wasted 3 hours and a bunch of ingredients, and it is the most frustrating thing in the world. That is just how it goes. I’ve been baking since I was a kid, baking very regularly (like, averaging 1-2x per week) for 5-6 years now, and I fuck up all the time. I fully expect to keep fucking up on a regular basis until the day I die.

What years of practice have given me is not the ability to never fuck up—it’s the ability to understand why I fucked up, what I did wrong, and how to hopefully not do it again.

One of the most common things out of my mouth is: “This is good, but I know what I’ll do differently next time.”

Next time I’ll shape the dough tighter. Next time I’ll let it rise longer. Next time I’ll check for doneness earlier. And so on.

2.

Taste is subjective. Everyone’s kitchen is different and everyone likes different things. Some people want thick, chewy chocolate chip cookies and some people want thin, crispy ones. Some people like a very tight crumb on their sourdough bread and others want air holes so big you can’t butter it. There’s no such thing as a perfect recipe because the point of food is the person eating it.

This is why it’s so rewarding to learn basic techniques and basic baking chemistry as you go. Once you get more comfortable in the kitchen, you can start going off-book. “This looks great but I think I’m gonna want a chewier texture. I’ll use half bread flour and mix the dough a bit longer to really activate the gluten.”

3.

Don’t just pick a random recipe. Especially in the age of 1 million recipe blogs. I always, always read at least 4-5 recipes for the thing I’m trying to make. I read the reviews. I compare and contrast them. If you’re looking at 5 recipes for chocolate chip cookies and only 1 says to add kale, there’s a good chance that’s not the one you want to start with. You can experiment with it later—maybe kale is the secret to the best cookies ever!—but typically you’ll want to start with the standard and deviate from there.

I often take notes on the 4-5 recipes, noting not just differences in ingredient ratios but in technique as well. A good recipe blog will explain to you WHY you’re doing something a certain way. If it doesn’t explain, look it up! Reddit r/baking and r/AskBaking are super helpful. Often someone’s random comment is the reason I learn something incredibly useful that can be applied to tons of recipes.

(I love King Arthur Baking and America’s Test Kitchen for learning technique—the ATK cookbooks are some of my most-referenced. Sally’s Baking Recipes never lets me down for good old American basics. Serious Eats is also very informative, though their recipes are often overly complicated or finicky.)

Often, I won’t simply pick one recipe—I’ll use a little of Recipe A, a little of Recipe B. I did this for a brownie recipe that ended up going viral on Reddit/Youtube which was pretty funny. I don’t necessarily recommend combining recipes when you’re first starting out, but keep it in mind as you go.

No recipe is set in stone. You can always adjust it to your tastes, to what works for you in your kitchen. Make it a little less sweet, a little sweeter, a little denser, a little lighter. Whatever you want. That’s what technique, and understanding how ingredients interact with each other, is about—like artists who learn realistic anatomy but paint in abstract.

4.

It can be hard to compare multiple very similar recipes. This recipe says to use 3 cups of flour and 1/2 cup butter and this recipe says 2 cups flour and 1 cup butter—but Recipe A makes 12 cookies and Recipe B makes 24 cookies. (Or, Recipe A uses volume measurements and Recipe B uses weight.) What does that mean? How do you draw a meaningful comparison?

Math!

Baker’s percentages are your best friend. They’re super easy. Just pick one ingredient to be your baseline—typically flour. That’s 100%. Then calculate the ratio of each ingredient to your flour ratio to easily compare different ingredient amounts.

For example, from my croissant recipe:

500g bread flour

10g kosher salt

150g milk + 100g water, room temp (70°; microwaved 10-15 seconds)

50g white sugar

10g honey

10g active dry yeast

30g (2 Tbsp) butter, softened

+

309g (remainder of 3 sticks after -30g; 62%) butter for lamination, softened, sliced 1” thick

BAKER’S PERCENTAGES:

100% bread flour

2% kosher salt

50% hydration (milk + water)

10% white sugar

2% honey

2% yeast

6% butter

45-62% butter for lamination

How to calculate:

500g flour is my baseline 100%.

What percentage of 500 is 50 (50g sugar)?

50/500 = 0.1 = 10%.

It doesn’t work as well for volume measurements. But many recipes include weight and volume—and you can always convert volume to weight using tools like King Arthur’s Ingredient Weight Chart.

5.

Finally, start with the basics and build. Don’t attempt making a Napoleon or macarons right out of the gate. Start with simple, beginner’s recipes, look up techniques as you go, watch lots of videos, always try to understand the why. Baking is chemistry but it’s also art. It’s whatever you want it to be. Mostly it’s about the house smelling like cinnamon rolls.

*

In summary, you’re going to fuck up and that’s okay. Baking is beautiful, and there’s nothing like the satisfaction of pulling something incredible out of the oven. You will learn and improve as you go, like anything else. You will eat lots of ugly cakes and pastries. But taste is what matters anyway.

Good luck in your baking adventures. Feel free to ask questions anytime. I love sharing what little knowledge I have.

I don’t have a sponge cake recipe but I do have these cake recipes. Let me know how your sponge cake turns out. You got this! 🍰

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #342: Konstantinos XI

today on Grailfinders we’ve got an actual leader of one of Traum’s many realms, it’s Konstantinos XI. I love that one, can’t wait for Rhapsodies of Vana’diel to come out. all jokes aside, Constantine is a Crown Paladin to give his all for his empire, and a Clockwork Sorcerer to use his imperial bloodline to protect it as best he can.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: the rule of cool, part two! …l

Ancestry & Background

our boy Connie is a Human, but a special human that can defend stuff better than most humans, so he’s got a Mark of the Sentinel on him. that means he gets +2 Constitution and +1 Wisdom, as well as a Sentinel’s Intuition for a bonus d4 on all insight and perception checks. you can also cast a Guardian’s Shield once a day for free, which is literally just the shield spell, and you have an extended spell list which we’ve included in the character sheet- the spells we’d find useful are in bold. finally, you’re a Vigilant Guardian, letting you swap places with someone who is being attacked next to you, taking the damage in their stead, once a day.

you’re also a Noble, so you get proficiency in History and Persuasion.

Ability Scores

first up, you gotta have Constitution- it helps you not die. I mean you definitely do die, but I promise you it’ll take a while, and hurt the whole time. second is Charisma. again, you’re going to die, but god damn if you don’t look cool doing it. third is Strength bc you still have to wield big swords when you don’t have help. that means your Wisdom is a little lower than I’d like what with your religiocity, and that means your Dexterity is neutral. you wear armor all the time, so I have nothing to go off of here. that means we’re dumping Intelligence. I’m sure Constantine is pretty smart, but we need something to be weak.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: starting at level one, paladins get proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Athletics checks to outlast errybody, and religion, to crusade as a hobby. you also get a divine sense to detect otherworldly enemies. you could always do this, it just never came up irl.

also you can Lay on Hands to touch people and heal them a lil bit. this is even less in-character, but hey, extra survivability.

2. Paladin 2: second level paladins get a Fighting Style, like Great Weapon Fighting. if you’re using a two-handed melee weapon, you can re-roll damage dice that land on 1 or 2 the first time. you could also argue for dueling if you want, but paladins will definitely get more use out of the former. and that’s because you can dump extra dice into your attacks with a Divine Smite, spending a spell slot to add radiant damage to your sword. what spell slots, you ask? well…

you can cast Spells now! you cast and prepare them using your Charisma, and that means you can swap them around each day, so don’t worry too much about specifics! that being said, I’d recommend picking up Bless to improve everyone’s saving throws! if you wanna help with attacks more, you can grant yourself divine favor, for a lil bonus damage with every hit for a minute.

3. Paladin 3: at third level you dedicate yourself to the Crown, which sounds noble, but since you’re the ruler you’re dedicating your life to yourself, which is pretty average tbh. still, you can use Channel Divinity once a short rest in one of two ways- you can issue a Champion Challenge to force nearby creatures to stay nearby until you get ko’d or bored, or you can Turn the Tide and give a couple bloodied allies some HP back. it’s not a lot of HP though so I expect the former will be used more. (though the latter could be used to revive a ton of people in one go.) if there’s only one person you’re worried about, you could use your freebie spell Compelled Duel instead to force them to fight you as long as you only fight them. it’s always prepared now bc you’re a crown paladin, as is Command if you want to act like an emperor sometime.

you also have Divine Health so you don’t get sick anymore unless the plot demands it.

4. Paladin 4: at level four, you get your first Ability Score Improvement! that improves your ability scores, like Strength and Constitution, rounding both of those up for more powerful swordery and less powerful death scenes. yeah you can make those look cool, but like, you can only do it once.

5. Paladin 5: fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each attack action, so now you can combo a bit. you also get second level spells, including your freebies Warding Bond and Zone of Truth. we don’t really need the latter, but the former gives us a way to eat damage for another ally, further cementing our place as a tanky boi.

if you’re looking for other spells, Find Steed makes you. y’know, a rider? and Magic Weapon gives you a little crit boost by adding +1 to all your attack and damage rolls. also you can use aid to heal without “healing” since Constantine doesn’t have any healing in his kit. it’s not “in” character, but it’s not “out” of character either.

6. Paladin 6: at sixth level you exude an Aura of Protection, adding your charisma bonus to everyone’s saves, as long as they’re within 10’ of you. you could argue this is a “wall” of sorts, but one wall a city does not make, so let’s keep building.

7. Paladin 7: seventh level paladins become even more annoying to fight if they’re pledged to a crown, since they specifically can use Divine Allegiance as a reaction to take the damage intended for someone next to you. this is why we grabbed all that constitution earlier.

8. Sorcerer 1: but why take damage at all when you can just build more walls? admittedly we don’t get any of those right away, but as a Clockwork sorcerer we do get access to some nice Spells that also use your Charisma. (tho the spell slot rules get a little weird at this point so check your phb for how many you’ve got!) Green-Flame Blade is basically a paladin smite but spread to two people, while Sword Burst goes even further and hits everyone around you. you also get Light because what self-respecting servant doesn’t glow in the dark on command, and you also get Thunderclap for a lightweight siege weapon. in the same vein, you can use first level spells like Catapult to throw literal siege weapons around. if they’re less than 5 lbs, anyway. (it’s mostly just summoned dudes throwing bombs anyways, so it tracks.) though you can up the weight limit by upcasting it. you can also get one half of dropping boiling oil on people with the Grease spell.

you also get Alarm and Protection from Evil & Good for free, though the bigger boon for this build is your ability to Restore Balance as a reaction, negating any kind of advantage or disadvantage affecting one kind of d20 roll, up to proficiency times a day.

9. Sorcerer 2: second level sorcerers get a Font of Magic, which basically gives them an extra spell slot right now. I will say you get your level in sorcery points each day, but that doesn’t mean much beyond the one spell right now.

you can also mess up attacks more thanks to grabbing Silvery Barbs! now you can basically force someone to roll at disadvantage even if you use restore balance, and if this causes the attacker to fail, you can give an ally advantage on their next attack!

10. Sorcerer 3: third level sorcerers can use Metamagic, spending sorcery points to alter their spells. if you’re chucking catapult materiel in melee range, you probably want to pick up Careful spells to ensure any allies caught in the crossfire can make their saves. or you can make your spells have the range of real catapults with the Distant spell metamagic, doubling its range.

speaking of siege weapons, you can make a battering ram now with Knock, letting you force open any door in your way, so long as you’re cool with a big freakin’ noise. you also get the freebies Aid and Lesser Restoration. we already talked about aid, but that means you can free up another prep slot from your paladin spell lists.

11. Sorcerer 4: use this ASI to round up your Strength for more powerful attacks. you can also Message Chaldea if you’re in trouble, or use Shatter for a bigger catapult.

12. Sorcerer 5: fifth level sorcerers get Magical Guidance, so if you fail a skill check you can spend a sorcery point to reroll it. that’s what I call some imperial privilege! you also get a better bomb for your buds thanks to Fireball, plus the freebes Dispel Magic and Protection from Energy.

13. Sorcerer 6: sixth level clockwork souls can become a Bastion of Law, spending sorcery points to build a wall of magic around yourself or an ally, letting them reduce incoming damage by between 1-5d8 damage. the creature with the shield can choose when to use it, and it doesn’t even cost their reaction! you can use this as much as you want, through you can only have one bastion up at a time.

that being said, you can still protect yourself… sometimes… with Blink. admittedly this is a big stretch, but having a fifty-fifty chance to move to the ethereal plane combos great with your champion’s challenge, giving you the classic combo of taunt and invincibility. why force six guys to fight you and stick around for them to do it?

14. Sorcerer 7: seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells! we’re picking up Stoneskin for even more damage reduction, natch, but your freebies are actually pretty nice this time. Summon Construct is one of the only summons we can get, but at least you have a soldier to hold your greatsword now. you also get Freedom of Movement which prevents you from being tied up or paralyzed. Konstantinos doesn’t actually get any debuff resistance in-game, but it could come in handy.

15. Paladin 8: eighth level paladins get another ASI, so bump up that Charisma for stronger spells and auras.

16. Paladin 9: ninth level paladins get third level spells, including your freebies Aura of Vitality and Spirit Guardians. I can’t condone the former bc again, Constantine doesn’t get healing, but I guess you can use the latter to make some guards for the very short-term.

I’d still suggest picking some spells of your own, like Crusader’s Mantle to give every roman around you a damage bonus (though you don’t have to be so picky), and Magic Circle for another, albeit situational, way to gain a defensive advantage. I imagine you’ll have plenty of arguments with King Hassan, so having a spot to stand in where he can’t instantly kill you would be helpful.

17. Paladin 10: tenth level paladins exude an Aura of Courage, preventing you and anyone within 10’ of you from being frightened. convincing people to fight until they die is usually hard. this makes it easier.

18. Paladin 11: at our last level of paladin you get an Improved Divine Smite, making every attack you land a little more holy. and by that, I mean they all do a touch of radiant damage to throw even more dice into the mix. everybody loves more dice.

19. Sorcerer 8: we’re not done with the build yet! easing back into sorcerer, we get one last ASI to turn you into an Inspiring Leader. you might not be able to heal that much, but temporary HP is still on the table, so long as you have ten minutes to spare for a rousing speech. this adds just over 20 temporary HP to up to six allies so everyone can stay in the fight a bit longer.

that being said there aren’t any more fourth level spells I want so… Tongues? I mean you’re christian, it tracks. you can talk to anyone and they can talk back, plus it’ll make Inspiring leader even better since it widens your options for health recipients.

20. Sorcerer 9: the real reason we were in sorcerer so long is because Constantine is a construction worker. his noble phantasm can make a wall, and while they’re a bit vague as to whether this is a literal wall or a figurative one, I tried to cover both, since you get Wall of Force for free and pick up Wall of Stone as a choice. the former is nigh-invincible, and nigh-invisible, preventing all damage and creatures from passing through for up to a minute, even spreading into the ethereal plane. if the wall goes up where someone’s standing, they’re forced harmlessly to one side or the other.

the latter can cover more space at the cost of being less durable, and creatures can escape being trapped by it with a saving throw. that being said, it can be used to make bridges, and will even become a real object in the world if you hold concentration the full ten minutes.

you also get Greater Restoration but that’s not why we’re here. s'free tho, so that's something!

Pros & Cons

Pros:

shockingly, the defensively oriented servant is good on defense, with powered-up saves, ways to prevent advantage on incoming attacks, and even the ability to build literal walls between you and whatever wants you dead. special shout-out to the Champion Challenge/Blink combo, letting you lock down the movement of several enemies and then just not be there for them to hit. thank goodness the former only cares about physical distance, not which dimension you’re in.

while you’re great at building up walls, you’re also good at letting people in and helping the party. with careful blasts to protect any squishy party members caught in your bombthrowing, infectious auras of positivity helping everyone stay alive, and your inspirational speeches adding plenty of health to your party’s total, you’re just as good at keeping the party going as you are keeping yourself alive.

while again the focus was on building walls, you’re also great at tearing them down, thanks to your literal and figurative burst damage. like all paladins you can pump up your damage with smites, but you also have spells like shatter and knock to break through the enemies’ defenses to boot.

Cons:

your first Con is literally your constitution! even with that stat as high as it is, being half-sorcerer brings your health total down to just “pretty good” for a frontline fighter- plus, focusing so hard on that meant both your attacks and your spells aren’t that powerful either. even with smites, your damage output might be a bit lackluster.

you’re also a bit picky when it comes to spells, since I didn’t want to grab anything with real healing available. paladins aren’t healing powerhouses like clerics, but ignoring healing altogether means that every fight you’re in is on a timer from the word go.

speaking of spells, you need those for smites and your best defensive options, so you’re burning the candle at both ends there. then again you also need them for sorcery points to get skill bonuses, so I guess it’s burning at… troth ends? whatever, you’re gonna run out of magic faster than you’d like.

[v3x-y0urs3lf]

Blooming Panic if MC was the author.

Unfortunately I haven’t written fanfic in over 2 or 3 years so you’re all getting headcanons.. even then I’m high as shit and barely know what I’m talking about. Expect this to be halfassed.

Okay, this mainly follows Toaster’s storyline just.. without romance to be more accepting to everyone’s tastes.

I know canonically the servers been around for like 2/3 years and MC (who I’m just going to continue to call MC for the hell of it.) only has just joined.. but what if they were also BloomBot?

Like, assuming MC doesn’t ACTUALLY work in finance and assuming that they’re actually good enough at coding to make the server possible.. it’s not too bad of an idea.

Hear me out. BloomBot secretly being a person this entire time, watching their chat history, listening in on calls but being unable to actually say anything? Probably gets lonely.

.. So MC makes their own account and joins in, pretending to have no idea who any of them are.

Or another idea - BloomBot just belongs to them and is just your average bot, Mc joins because they themselves have lost all motivation for the series and doesn’t know what to do with it.

I also really like that idea.

Imagine just MC writing and rewriting the final chapter over and over again, or better yet, imagine MC NOT writing the final chapter. Just staring at a blank document with 0 ideas. Likely in tons of stress and no motivation to continue writing but knowing they have thousands of fans waiting for the next chapter.

MC joins a ton of fan servers to try and get some inspiration from ideas but only one really clicks with them - the super secret discord server that we all know of.

There’s moments of guilt within them when Jules or Nightowl are worried or upset with no sign of the final chapter but the chapter continues to be prolonged.

I promised there’d be no particular romance forced into this despite it being Toast’s route but here’s a slight snippet of what I think would happen depending on characters.

Toast.. isn’t much to say really. It’s similar to his natural route where he tries to find who’s behind this, maybe some deep coding down and he might get an email from BloomBots code (Can you tell I know nothing about coding? lol.) I’m not saying he’d know that MC is the author, I just wouldn’t be surprised if he started offhandedly mentioning that sometimes a long break from work is needed and VERY MUCH okay to do so when MC is in call with him.

Nightowl is stressed with both his own school problems and NOW he doesn’t have a way to escape the dread of exams and finals. In a way.. He can relate to that reason the anonymous update was explained with. It might just be me but the way the update described it, it’s pretty obvious the ‘author’ was under stress. He can relate to that stress and probably rants to the MC about it in a late night call.. Knowing someone can relate with you and that you aren’t alone does wonders to someone’s mental health, especially since Nightowl is still pushing through his stress and still moving forward.

Quest.. I completely forgot his character but I think he’s a bit too busy to think about the problem deeply. Sure, The last chapter probably won’t be uploaded but.. it’s not the end of the world? He has work and being the server mod.. the biggest problem he has is making sure everyone else is calm and okay. If MC ends up confessing that they themselves are pretty stressed for whatever reason then he totally gives some great advice, tells MC to take life slow and to take breaks if they need to.. which actually kind of helps knowing you can take your time and go at your own pace.

Xyx is actually bummed out about the whole thing. If blooming panic ends then.. does that mean the community ends? People like having a community to go to and ESPECIALLY when someone is so adrenaline hungry like Xyx then things can be.. hard during times like this when it’s suddenly ending. Xyx isn’t one to vent about it but if he sees MC down about it then he’ll definitely find a way to make them spill (as in vent.) One way or another he’ll convince MC to take a break and he tries to cheer them up.

I understand a lot of this was probably mischaracterised and I apologise for that. I do really want to hit it off as a writer but I’m honestly not really good? Lol. I really am trying, I promise. Thank you for your patience.

[yuikomorii]

Who in DL do you think needs better routes?

// ✨Everyone✨

This is merely my opinion but while DL got some really enjoyable moments, no route was above average. I suppose this is my way of thinking because I've been through so many otome games that my standards have become waaaay too high. I don't just mean it because of the love interests, since I can think of over 10 games with LIs meaner than the Diaboys were in HDB/MB, but I feel like no route has anything that good to it and they're frequently flawed and poorly balanced.

The development feels way too many times really forced or it barely lasts. I mean, there are some characters who truly seem to have evolved throughout the route but in the last chapters or good endings, their development proves to be completely useless or even worse: it gets erased, which is really sad.

Another thing I’m not particularly fond of is how they turned Yui, in the later games, more into an emotional support rather than the heroine of the story because there are several routes where she’s written to be of no great use and it makes no sense since she’s supposed to be the MC?? I do understand that the love interests need to get the spotlight but the heroine has to be just as active as them. ://

I dislike how some routes attempt to redeem Karlheinz. We already know the reasons behind his actions, and he feels no remorse for those he has harmed, so he does not deserve to be portrayed positively.

DL is already messed up as it is but toxic forgiveness is often portrayed as a sign of kindness, although it’s actually creepy and when it comes to the Diaboys, that’s heavy on Ayato. I understand forgiving someone for yourself because YOU don’t want to hold any sort of grudge or hate in your heart (like Laito did in DF) but forgiving someone after they treated you extremely badly AND still caring for them or being written to befriend them afterwards, is way over the top and if you know such people irl, please check on them because they’re not okay.

The endings are getting so poorly written and I don’t get why. HDB and MB had some unexpected and genuinely interesting endings, but they became less impactful later on, and I swear, some Diaboys have the same endings as others, just slightly modified.

I'm not trying to sound ungrateful because I still love DL; after all, I'm part of this fandom; it's just that I wish the writers would put a little more effort into the routes. I understand how difficult it is to write for 13 different characters, but there are more writers, each with their own ideas, and it is also their job so expecting the Diaboys to get good routes is actually understandable.

[youareinlovetv]

“The Archer” by Taylor Swift describes the autistic experience perfectly. here’s why.

i know it’s not meant to be about autism, but its themes correlate really well with what people like me go through.

Combat, I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

the “combat” in this case usually refers to the mental battles we have to go through, against other people and against ourselves. bullying, hatred, ableism, as well as trying to mask, hide every trait of ourselves from people, to appear as normal as possible.

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

when you’re autistic, it’s extremely hard to not only make friendships, but maintain them. people can drop you for many reasons, like when it seems like you’re “distant” or “rude” or “blunt”. often times, when this happens time and time again, we just give up because we’re tired of being treated this way. so we ride alone, by ourselves, with no one else.

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

we can often seem childish for not be able to take care of ourselves as well as others, or even just our mannerisms (stimming, tics, etc) and it gets old because we get older. we’re put to the expectations of other neurotypicals our age, but we can never reach them.

Help me hold onto you

this lyric comes up a lot in the song, and i think it represents desperately trying to find SOMEONE who will accept you. trying to find anyone. because you KNOW you can’t go through this alone, but you can’t find anyone.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

in this case, we’ve been the prey our whole lives because of what i mentioned earlier. being the archer could either be taking out our anger and pain onto others, or taking it out on ourselves, making us both the archer and the prey at the same time.

Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?

when we have friends, it always seems like it’s going fine (at least from my experience). you never see the signs of them being rude to you because you can’t notice them. the “who could stay” part comes after you find out about these signs that should’ve been “obvious” to you. so you ask, who could stay? who could be my friend? who could support me? because it seems like no one will.

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I’m all right, right, right, right here?

when we’ve been hurt so many times, we try to look for ways people are hurting us, trying to protect ourselves. a lot of the time, those ways aren’t even there, but we believe they are. when people demonize you for your autistic traits, you start to doubt yourself and wonder if you were the one who was being cruel, and that your dark side was there all along, but everyone else’s wasn’t.

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

And I hate my reflection for years and years

self hatred spreads. in this case, it starts out with hating how you act. hating that you’re autistic. but it spreads to other things, like your appearance. not only because you just generally hate yourself, but because a lot of the time we think if we look good, that could make up for our “faults”.

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

our struggles most of the time are invisible to others. even when we’re in distress, no one really knows the root of the distress. we’re masking the pain away, or we’re going into another room so they don’t know we’re crying, or we’re deflecting and playing down our struggles when we are seen in distress.

And all of my heroes die all alone

when the average person is asked to think about an autistic person, usually what they think of is not people who have made an impact or have done great things, but the stereotypes we have. the stereotype of that train obsessed white boy who’s super smart or a kid who is “stupid” because of “how they move” or something like that. and so when an autistic person thinks of this, we’re often projecting this onto ourselves in the sense that we think we won’t make it in the world because of this.

They see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through, can you see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through me

I see right through me

I see right through me

this is the most relatable and impactful line in the song to me. the fact that even though we’re trying desperately to keep the mask on and look “normal”, we know it’s not working.

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

Couldn’t put me together again

other people try to help us, but often give subpar advice like “just stop crying!” and “just don’t be overwhelmed!” when that doesn’t work. so we can’t be put back together again when we break down and aren’t able to be consoled.

Cause all of my enemies started out friends

this is self-explanatory. we try to make friends with everyone, but we’re seen as “off putting” or “wrong”. and they become our enemies.

in short, this is why this song is incredibly accurate and close to me as a person. it’s one of my favorite songs of all time. and i hope this helps at least one neurodivergent person out there. that’s all <3

[gaffney]

Wait SAY MORE about junior year Ducks. Who is on Varsity vs. JV in your mind?

OK SO i got this ask but i also got another asking which issues i could see the ducks having in junior/senior year so i’m just gonna combine them!!

for me, the people making varsity would be adam, julie, guy, ken, fulton & charlie because (imo) they've always had the most potential

i like to think imagine adam would struggle with the fact that this may be a repeat of freshman year, however i do think because he has more ducks with him it’d be an easier transition this time around. i’d also love a storyline where has to deal with old varsity members who he knew in freshman year (who were in their sophomore year/now their senior year) who still feel like he betrayed them and don’t want to trust him. maybe a player who’s on the same level as banks and gives him an actual challenge for ~star player. would also love the return of the hawks (larson and/or mcgill) in his personal life because i’ve always felt like that was an unfinished storyline

one thing i’ve always appreciated about the ducks is that it’s a mixed team of boys and girls, with everyone on equal footing. connie, julie, and tammy have always been just as good as the rest (or even better). and it worked really well at the peewee level! but if we’re being realistic… as they get older, i feel like physical differences might start to have a bigger impact. especially in contact sports like hockey. in d3, we already saw connie getting knocked around pretty easily because she’s fucking tiny in comparison to some of the dudes. hell, they even alluded to it in d2, when dwayne had to rescue her by lassoing the opponent. so yeah, i think it would make sense to have separate teams to ensure everyone’s safety and fairness… and eden hall definitely has the resources for it. it’d be awesome to see a storyline for connie where she came to terms with this (and this mostly being the reason she didn’t make varsity) and then decide to team up with linda to petition for a women’s team at eden hall. this would most likely cause friction with julie, however, who is playing on a mixed team’s varsity and doesn’t want to give that up–but, as a goalie, is also in a slightly different situation because she isn’t getting the brunt of all the physical plays. this would actually be a really cool fic to read… if written with respect ofc. i don’t wanna see any misogynistic or transphobic bs

for guy, i think he’s a great technical player. he’s above the average, but he’s also just kinda… there. he doesn’t have adam’s single-minded focus & talent, or charlie’s tenacity & leadership insight, or jesse’s killer instinct, or even something that sets him apart like fulton’s slapshot or kenny’s fluidity on the ice. something that always catches my attention is guy basically going “we all played like shit” and connie retaliates with “no YOU did that, i played hard” which was 100% a line they threw in to make us aware of the fact they’re (still) fighting. but i like the headcanon that guy joined the ducks (district 5 at the time) because he wanted to have fun with his friends, and it turns out he’s actually pretty good, but he doesn’t actually have that a lot interest in the sport itself. he could struggle with the fact that he doesn’t have the passion that other people may expect from someone with his skill

with kenny, i think he’s a great player and deserves a varsity spot no doubt, but i would honestly just love more insight as to why he quit figure skating to play hockey in the first place 💀 like is it a cultural impact vs financial stability kind of thing? tibbles says “i convinced him hockey had more of a future” which might be true. does kenny ever end up regretting choosing hockey? we will never know… because even the creator of tmd did not care to give him a narrative and i think that’s bs. i would also love a kenny & tammy intro, where tammy was the opposite and decided to choose figure skating over hockey

fulton would continue the storyline they scrapped in d3: who is he without his fellow bash brother? i love bash bros but i’d love to see him realize that he is his own person and that whatever future he sees for himself–whether that’s in hockey or something else entirely–he doesn’t NEED portman there to be a great player and defenseman. in turn portman would feel Some Type Of Way that fulton got picked for varsity and he didn’t, but this also makes him determinated to improve on his own too. give them some friction but in the end they realize that they don’t need each other on the ice to grow but want to be in each other’s lives anyway

and then there’s charlie… let’s take away that c!! i’d imagine varsity already has a captain and charlie has to settle for not leading the charge for once (tho he’ll get it back in senior year imo). i just want him to build a better relationship with hockey and have fun without the pressure of trying to fill a certain role or weird attachment issues. but i also think i’d like most of his drama to just not be hockey/team related (other than trying to placate everyone now that there’s a clear divide) but let him deal with his daddy issues

i think russ would essentially be fine still playing for jv bc by this time he’s realized he doesn’t wanna go pro and has found something else to occupy his time. dwayne is just sad the team doesn’t get together a lot. the rest… idk. luis is too busy with mindy/being a perv and averman & goldberg are too busy being annoying and/or sabotaging the team i guess 💀