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nineteenninety-six · 4 years

Text

It’s What We Make It

Just a warning, this is technically based in S2 but at the same time it’s not. It contains scenes from seasons I like but it doesn’t follow the show’s timeline. Also, a lot of time skips because I’m lazy.

This took me two weeks to write and though I wish it could be better, I’m done with it. It was meant to be a request fulfil but it’s so far gone from that lol. Also this better appear in the bloody tags otherwise I’ll fight someone

Word Count: 14,827

The night (Y/N) escaped from her family's home would be a night she would never forget.

She disappeared in the middle of the night and triggered the plan she had spent almost a year planning. Due to what her family did for a living, she worked alone in case she got caught.

Her family had enough money to the point where they wouldn't notice a small amount going missing, which is exactly what she did. She took enough to ensure she left the country quickly and safely. She also stashed a few jewels and other expensive items to sell once she reached her destination.

She planned to go to England. She didn’t know where in England she would go but England was far away enough from her home country that she should be able to live comfortably and without fear.

(Y/N) didn’t know what her family would think about her disappearance, maybe they’d think that a rival gang had kidnapped her, but she knew that they wouldn’t let it simply go and they would send people to look for her.

.•° ✿ °•.

Once (Y/N) arrived in England, she took a random train to Birmingham and then another to Small Heath. She had no clue where she was going or what these places were like but she did not let that stop her and if it was not the place for her, then she would move on.

When she arrived it was late in the day but the streets were not quiet and (Y/N) could see a pub at the end of the street that was filled with people to the point that people spilled out onto the street outside and the faint sound of people talking and singing spilled out alongside them.

(Y/N) gave the pub one last glance before she made her way into the small hotel and paid for a room. She would spend a few days at the hotel and discovering the place before she decided if Small Heath was a place where she was to stay long term.

(Y/N) garnered a few stares of curiosity as she walked around Small Heath which wasn’t surprising since she was clearly an outsider. The town was clearly one that wasn’t used to new people but they seemed merely curious at best.

She wandered around the main road where all the shops rested, making mental notes of them and she passed by the pub that was alive with people the night before stopped by a small cafe for lunch. The sweet owner easily answered any questions she had, seemingly not having an issue with the fact that she wasn’t from around there and even though she had only been in Small Heath for less than two days, (Y/N) was pretty sure this was the place she wanted to stay.

She asked the cafe owner about any job openings in town and was informed of the Garrison, the pub she saw earlier, was looking for a barmaid.

(Y/N) had never worked a day in her life but she wouldn’t be able to survive for long on the money she got from selling the stuff she had brought with her. She didn’t have the skills or the experience to become a barmaid or for any job for that matter, as she never had a reason to. Her family had drilled into her at a young age that once she was old enough, she would be married to another gang family. Either as a gift to thank a family that had been long loyal or to a rival to calm rising tensions and to gain allies.

She had been coddled for her entire life. Her parents gave her the best tutors in the country but she had barely left their manor at all through her childhood, which gave no social skills or friends but that was all about to change.

When she entered the pub, there was only one man in there and he was sweeping the floor but he looked up when she walked in.

“I heard that you were looking for a barmaid?” (Y/N) spoke first, when the man did not.

The man looked her up and down with a disbelieving stare, “You? A barmaid? Don’t make me laugh”

“Please,” (Y/N) took a step forward, “I’m desperate”

“Look, the people around here aren’t nice. Especially when they are drunk. You just look a bit too delicate to work here”

“I can hold my own”

She could. It wasn’t uncommon for her father to hold parties or dinners where he and his allies would drink until the sun rose and he’d always make her stay the entire night, most likely to show off how dutiful she was. After all, the men in that type of business weren’t looking for a headstrong and independent woman, they’re looking for a meek woman that would obey their instructions and carry their children to continue the family name and (Y/N) wasn’t that type of woman.

The man still didn’t look like he believed her but he must have seen the desperation in her eyes as he let out a resigned sigh, “Trial run tonight. If you do well, you get the job.”

(Y/N) bobs her head with a pleased smile, “Thank you.”

“Harry” The man held out his hand.

(Y/N) shook it, giving him her name.

“Seven pm on the dot tonight.”

“Thank you, Harry, I’ll be there”

.•° ✿ °•.

At seven pm, the pub only had a few customers but she dealt with those easily. Harry had taught her how to pour a pint and create a few other drinks and luckily for her, the people of Small Heath were simple when it came to their drinks.

By nine pm, the Garrison was filled to the brim with people. A portion of the pub was loudly singing along to the song that the woman at the piano was playing and the rest of the patrons were talking with their friends, almost shouting to be heard above the singing.

The atmosphere was unlike anything (Y/N) had ever experienced before but she found herself enjoying it. She didn’t think she stopped moving for a moment as she spun around the bar, fulfilling orders until a small window at the corner of the bar, something she hadn’t noticed until that moment had opened up, causing her to pause in her steps. It was more out of surprise than anything else at first but the man at the other side of the window with his bright blue eyes had also caught her attention.

With Harry busy, (Y/N) made her way to the small window, “...May I help you?”

The man’s eyes flickered up to her and he seemed speechless for a moment before he orders, “Two bottles of dark rum and four glasses”

(Y/N) nods and turns around only to smack straight into Harry’s chest.

“I’ll get that for you, Tommy. (Y/N) there are some people down at the end who want some ale”

(Y/N) looks up at Harry, confused on why he suddenly butt in and took over the order but just as she was going to silently nod and do as she was told but ‘Tommy’, spoke up before she could.

“Let her do it, Harry. She looks perfectly capable”

Harry looked like he would argue, but he quickly nodded and allowed (Y/N) to get the drinks but he quickly followed behind her.

“Anything that he or the other members of the Shelby family is free of charge.”

(Y/N) frowned and turned to ask him why but he had already disappeared to fulfil the orders of the other patrons.

She picked up the two bottles of rum and placed them by the window before she went off to collect the glasses.

“Harry says everything is on the house,” She says as he places the glasses down next to the bottles of rum, hoping that he could explain why.

“Hmm,” The man simply hummed as he picked up the drinks and placed them on the table in the snug behind him.

He turned around but stopped midway before he turned back to face her, looking at her up and down. “You’re not from around here”

“What gave it away?” (Y/N) responded sarcastically, knowing that her accent stood out.

“What’s your name?” Tommy’s interest had been piqued and he leant forward on the bartop

“What’s yours?” (YN) threw back.

Tommy squinted his eyes and (Y/N) raised an eyebrow. She had been raised amongst egotistical and big-headed men and she knew how to deal with them.

“Tommy Shelby”

“(Y/N)”

“I’ll see you again, (Y/N)”

“I’ll make sure of it, Mr Shelby”

Tommy gave her one last nod before he disappeared into the snug and closed the window doors behind him.

(Y/N) was swept up with the rest of the customers the rest of the night and only got a break when they had closed up for the night and she was cleaning up.

“Listen, (Y/N), it’s best if you try to keep away from the Shelby’s.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just promise me that you’ll stay away from them?”

“Only if I have the job”

Harry was silent for a moment before he sighed and nodded “Alright, you have the job. You did good tonight anyway.”

“Thank you, Harry”

(Y/N) had spent the rest of the night looking at places to rent in the newspaper, marking down which one suited her needs, making notes to call the landlords in the morning. With a secure job, she could now start to settle down in Small Heath.

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) found a small flat that was perfect for her, she had paid a deposit and the first month of rent before moving herself and her singular suitcase into her new place. It was the opposite of what she grew up with but she found that it didn’t affect her as much as she thought it would. Her old bedroom was at least four times as big as her dingy little flat but she found the little room appropriate enough and she was determined to perservere and not give up.

Once she had finished settling in, she took another walk around Small Heath before she had to go in to work that evening.

She had found herself by the cut and she stood right by the edge with the tips of her shoes just over the edge as she thought about her life. She knew it wouldn’t be long before her family somehow narrow where she had run off too, no doubt they had already sent men to America, Australia and England already but she hoped that Small Heath was a small enough place that she’d have at least a few years before she had to move on.

“Hullo”

(Y/N) swung around, not hearing whoever it was come up behind her but her momentum had caused her to trip over her feet and fall backwards, falling into the canal with a loud splash. Her thick coat and her shoes had weighed her down as she struggled to resurface.

Tommy raced over to the edge and kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his coat and cap before he dived in after her. He swam down until he could see her and reached out and grabbed her arm before he started to swim to the surface, pulling her along.

When they both reached the surface, they gasped for air and (Y/N) coughed and sputtered out the water that she had accidentally swallowed. Tommy swam to edge, still tugging her along before he pulled himself out of the water before helping her out.

(Y/N) coughed a few more times before falling back so that she was flat on her back as she stared up at the sky.

Tommy walked over to her and looked down at her, “You alright?”

(Y/N) glared at him as she took his offered hand and stood up, “Do you creep up behind every woman you know?”

“Only the ones that fascinate me”

His words caused (Y/N)’s glare to falter, “I suppose I should feel flattered then ?”

Tommy ignored her question as he turned on his heel and began to walk away before he called out to her over his shoulder, “C’mon, follow me”

(Y/N) grimaced as she moved to follow after him, her stocking covered feet squelched in her heels as she walked behind him. The rest of her clothes clung to her uncomfortably and her hair stuck to her face and neck.

She didn’t know where Tommy was going and she didn’t exactly know why she was following him either but she supposed he fascinated her as she did him.

He took her to Watery Lane and into one of the houses, and she still squeaked uncomfortably behind him as she followed him into the kitchen.

“Sit”

Tommy pointed to a random seat before he shuffled around the kitchen putting a full kettle on the stovetop and letting it boil while (Y/N) sat down as he instructed.

(Y/N) looked at the kitchen around her in curiosity. The walls had been knocked down to let it be more open and just to the side of her there was a large green double door which she guessed led to the property next door but she had no clue why. She could hear the faint sounds of people talking through it but it was too muffled to hear anything clearly.

Just as she snapped out of her mind, Tommy had placed a cup down in front of her.

(Y/N) looked down at the cup in curiosity, “What’s this?”

Tommy sat down on the other side of the table, across from her with his own cup.

“Tea. To warm you up”

“What type of ‘tea’?” (Y/N) asked, “Anyway, I think getting out of my wet clothes will help more than a cup of hot..tea”

“Tea, tea. Have you never seen tea before?”

“I have never heard the word tea before. In my native language, we call this something else.” (Y/N) carelessly reveals, “Are you meant to drink it straight”

Tommy files away her first sentence away in his mind, making a mental note to find out where she was from before he leant across the table and pulled the teacup closer to him.

“You can if you want. Most add milk and sugar”

“How much-” (Y/N) asked, “How do you do yours?”

“Splash of milk, two teaspoons of sugar”

(Y/N) nods, “Okay, I’ll try it the way you like.”

Tommy nodded and did the tea for her. Never at all did he think that he would be making a cup of tea for a woman the second time he had ever met her but he supposed he did feel a little guilty for her falling into the cut and almost drowning.

(Y/N) took a sip and let a pleased hum, “This is...nice.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, I enjoy your...tea”

Tommy’s lip quirked at her words but the smile that nearly graces his lips quickly vanishes when Polly walks through the green doors,

“Thomas, have you-oh” Polly freezes in her steps at the sight of the stranger sitting at the table.

“Polly,” Tommy cleared his throat as he stood up, “This is (Y/N), the new barmaid at the Garrison”

(Y/N) stood up and shook the hand of Polly and tried not the feel exposed as the woman raked her eyes across her.

“Why are the two of you wet?”

“I fell into the cut and Tommy helped me” (Y/N) quickly spoke before Tommy could speak.

Polly looked at Tommy as if she couldn’t believe what (Y/N) was saying was true. (Y/N) finished off her cup of tea before he cleared her throat, catching their attention, “Thank you for the tea, Tommy but it’s probably best I get home. Staying in wet clothes will only make me sick”

Tommy nodded and seemed perfectly fine with just walking her to the door but Polly spoke up for him, “Tommy walk her home”

(Y/N) opened her mouth to argue but the look Tommy sent her told her that it was better to not argue.

They walked back to her flat in silence and it made (Y/N) realise how weird her day was. In what was meant to be a normal day exploring, ended up with her almost dying and then being treated with a cup of tea by a man whose mere presence prompted question marks.

.•° ✿ °•.

That evening (Y/N) was back at the Garrison, pulling pints and serving customers. It was never not busy and (Y/N) wondered how she didn’t end up with a headache every night but she enjoyed the work.

When the pub quietened suddenly, it caused (Y/N) to look up from her work and she saw Tommy, Polly along with three other men who she had never seen before entering. Polly and the men entered the little snug whilst Tommy made his way up to the bar and with Harry overwhelmed, (Y/N) made her way over to him after she finished with her current customer.

“How may I help you, Mr Shelby?” She asked as she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Bucket of mild and four mugs and one whiskey”

(Y/N) nodded and went to go fulfil his order when Harry called out to her,

“We’re out of the mild! I’m gonna go get a new barrel.”

(Y/N) turned around and gave Tommy a sorry smile, “I’ll bring it to you when Harry’s done”

Tommy gave her a nod before he disappeared in the snug. (Y/N) watched him for a moment before she turned to the next patron with a kind smile.

.•° ✿ °•.

Tommy joined his family in the snug and sat in his usual seat, paying half attention to the conversation around until it suddenly turned to him.

“Oi, Tom, who’s the new barmaid?” John asked, “And where are our fucking drinks?”

“A new hire by Harry” Tommy said as he lit up a cigarette, “Needed a new barrel, it’ll be here soon.”

Just then (Y/N) walked into the snug, bucket and mugs in hand.

“Sorry for the wait,” She said as she placed them on the table and quickly disappeared back out of the snug.

Once she left, John and Arthur let out low whistles.

“She’s a looker ain’t she” John commented

Polly rolled her eyes at her nephew’s behaviour while Michael noticed something else about the woman.

“Where is she from? Her accent is not from England”

Tommy shrugged, “Haven’t a clue”

Polly raised an eyebrow, “You don’t know? Usually, you’d know everything about her, especially since she works at the pub”

Tommy ignored her for a moment as he began to scoop up a mug of ale, his brothers following suit before he answered her.

“There’s something she’s hiding and I don’t think any call I make will clue me into it”

.•° ✿ °•.

That night as (Y/N) and Harry closed up, (Y/N) finally asked Harry about something that had been itching her about Tommy Shelby.

“Harry, when you warned me about Mr Shelby, what did you mean? What do the Shelby’s do?”

Harry sighed as he dropped his rag down on the bar, “They’re bad men. They’re a gang, they fix races, kill people, blackmail, threaten, you know all of it. If they want it, they get it.”

(Y/N) settled in silence at his words, her mind racing. Did she just escape from the gang at home just to run into a new gang? Was her luck that shitty?

She remained silent for the rest of the night but vowed that she’d try her best to avoid Tommy Shelby.

.•° ✿ °•.

Avoiding Tommy was easier said than done, he was somehow everywhere yet at the same time it was like he was a ghost. Whenever she saw him on the streets of Small Heath, she ducked into the many side streets and alleyways of the town. Whenever he entered the Garrison, she took his order swiftly and avoided eye contact.

Tommy had noticed her behaviour.

A few weeks later he found her once again by the cut but this time she was sitting on the edge with her feet hanging over the edge. Tommy walked over to her but didn’t sit down next to her.

“You’ve been hiding from me”

(Y/N) didn’t even look up at him when she replied, “Have I? It seems that you’ve found me”

“Why?”

“Why do you care?”

Tommy hummed, “I suppose I don’t. Not really.”

“But you do though, don’t you? You care”

“I do”

“Why?”

“You fascinate me.”

“...I’ve heard about the things you do Tommy.” (Y/N) decided to tell him why she had been avoiding him.

“Yeah?” Tommy asked as he took a seat next to her, knowing that this wasn’t going to be a short conversation.

“I do...I do not understand why”

“Growing up around here you have to know how to fight otherwise you won't survive. You have to adapt and grow. Fixing races or scamming the rich to get some money was the only way that we were able to feed our family at times.” Tommy offered her a cigarette which she accepted. “After the war, whilst we were at war, fighting for our lives and country, the men at the top simply sat at home and continued getting richer.”

(Y/N) had a frown on her face as she took a couple of drags of her cigarette, “But you murder people?”

“I’ve killed a few people”

“And that doesn’t affect you?”

“In the war, I killed about a hundred men who were just following orders like me. I used to beat myself up about taking a life but now, killing the people who profited off the war in some fashion barely gets me to blink”

“...So you only target the rich?”

Tommy nods, “You ask anyone and they’d probably say that we’re a pain in the arse but we’re their pain in the arse. We pump the money back through the town, making sure everyone has jobs and that they can support their families”

(Y/N)’s heart eased at his clarification.

“My fa-” (Y/N) cut herself off realising that she was about to spill too much information about herself, “Back home, the gangs there targeted everybody. The poorer people suffered the most since they couldn’t pay ransoms or blackmail...every week a body would be discovered. Politicians and the most powerful men in the country were being controlled by these gangs, being played like marionettes. Not to mention the constant wars between rival gangs…”

(Y/N) hadn’t spoken about how life was back home and it felt good to finally speak to someone about it. She knew she had it good considering she rarely left the family manor and had anything and everything she could have asked for and nothing that her family did had negatively affected her in any way.

“Is that why you left your country?”

(Y/N) nodded, “I was scared that I left one gang and fell into the grasp of another”

Tommy took one last drag of his cigarette before he chucked it in the cut and (Y/N) followed suit.

Tommy took her chin in his hands and pulled her face so that she was facing him, “You won’t be hurt here. You’re safe”

(Y/N)’s placed her hand over his that was still on her face but she didn’t try to remove it, “I’m am not safe, they will find me”

“Who will?”

(Y/N) gave him a soft smile as she finally pulled his hand away, “Never you mind. I’ve already said too much”

(Y/N) stood up and brushed off the dust and dirt from her before she offered him her hand, “Walk me to work?”

Tommy grabbed her hand and pulled himself up, “Of course”

The walk back was silent but (Y/N) felt at ease now that she knew the truth behind Tommy and the gang’s motives.

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) no longer hid whenever she saw Tommy in the streets but instead gave him smiles. He wouldn’t always return them but (Y/N) felt a warmth bloom in her chest whenever he gave her a nod or a tiny smile in answer.

One day, in the early afternoon, Tommy and his brother, Arthur had entered the Garrison, so she went over to take their order.

“What can I get you two?”

“Go get Harry for us”

(Y/N) got Harry and moved further down the bar but still close enough to listen to their conversation.

“What can I get you, boys?”

“Harry,” Tommy gave him a smile that wasn’t sincere in the slightest, “We want to buy your pub”

(Y/N)’s mouth dropped and so did Harry’s.

“Uhhh, it’s not for sale I’m afraid”

“It wasn’t a request, Harry.”

Harry instantly deflated as he knew he couldn’t exactly say no to the Peaky Blinders unless he wanted his eyes cut.

“Alri-”

“You can’t just do that!” (Y/N) stepped in, throwing Tommy a glare, “Harry said it wasn’t for sale, that’s your answer and you should accept it”

“Harry was just about to agree-”

“Through coercion” Once again, (Y/N) cut in.

Harry’s eyes were wide as he tugged on (Y/N)’s arm, telling her to stop but she didn’t listen.

“I didn’t make any threats. Did you hear me make a threat, Arthur?”

“Nah, I didn’t hear you make any threats brother” Arthur backed his brother up

“The implication was there. ‘Do as I ask or get your eyes cut’.”

Harry pulled on her arm again but (Y/N) shrugged him off.

Tommy sighed, he patience wearing thin, “Listen, we’re just offering a considerable amount to buy the pub, nothing more”

“Since you have so much money, build a bloody pub yourselves, or better yet shove it up your-”

Harry finally pulled her hard enough that she had to move unless she wanted to fall flat on her face,

“(Y/N) go in the back. I’ll deal with it.” Harry pushed her away, “Go”

(Y/N) threw one last glare over her shoulder before she disappeared in the back. She paced around in Harry’s office waiting for him, she knew that he’d more than likely accept the Shelby’s offer but a part of her hoped that he didn’t.

When he returned there was a roll of money in his hand which caused (Y/N) to release a frustrated sigh.

“I don’t want to end up in the cut” Harry tried to explain

“I know, I know. I’m not blaming you, I’m just annoyed at those Shelby men.”

“Listen, I know your stubborn but don’t go creating fights with those men”

“I can’t promise you anything” (Y/N) walked towards the exit, “I’ll go back to the bar”

(Y/N) was in such a bad mood for the rest of the day that the patrons simply made an order and then quickly scurry off once they got their drink, not wanting to be on the receiving end of her if they’d pushed her.

She was still in a mood once she had finished for the day and stormed home but once she collapsed on her bed, she felt a bit of tension drain out of her shoulders.

Despite how much she wanted to stay in bed, she knew couldn’t do it with the day's clothing still on her. She kicked her shoes off in the corner of her flat and chucked her coat on the small couch before pouring herself a glass of whiskey.

She sipped on the whiskey as she wiped down her face with a damp cloth and changed into her nightdress before taking a seat near the window with the rest of her drink, the bottle next to her on the side table. Usually, she read a bit before she slept but it was raining that night and the sound of it hitting the window always calmed her, so she simply looked out of the window, watching the last few stragglers of Small Heath wander through the streets.

She had been at peace before loud knocking disrupted her and she huffed as she made her way over to her door, only opening it enough to fit her head through.

“What do you want?” Tommy was on the other side.

“I’m here to talk”

“It’s late. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I want to talk now” Tommy pushed the door open and forced himself into her flat.

“Thomas! You can’t just force yourself into my flat” (Y/N) hissed at him as she closed the door behind him knowing she wouldn’t be able to physically remove him at this point.

Tommy looked around the flat checking it out as she took off his coat and hat, throwing next to where (Y/N) left hers.

“Nice little place you got here”

“Why are you really here Tommy?”

Tommy turned around and raised an eyebrow when he saw what she was wearing causing (Y/N) to wrap her arms around her chest as she hurried to her dressing gown and putting it on.

“What do you want?” (Y/N) repeated herself, “If this is about earlier, then I refuse to speak about it”

“It is about today and you will speak about it”

“Well if you truly want to speak then let it be known that, I will not sit around and let you bully people into doing what you want”

“That’s how it works around here”

“That’s how you force it to work around here. People would rather say yes than end up blind or floating in the cut” (Y/N) corrected him.

She took a deep breath before she topped off her drink and offered him one, “Whiskey?”

“Please”

She gave him a glass before shifting the coats that rested on the couch onto the coat rack and then taking a seat on the now free couch and Tommy soon joined her.

“You say you’re not like the people back home but your actions today say different” (Y/N) took a sip of her drink, “You keep going down this lane and you’ll be like my….”

Tommy turned to her, “Like your who?”

“Never mind.” (Y/N) shook her head, “You’ve never been told ‘no’ in your life have you?”

“I have. Polly tells me about five times every day”

“I don’t mean by your family. You’ve never been told by a woman or by anyone in Small Heath like Harry, have you?”

Tommy shrugged his shoulders, “No, I don’t think so”

“Luckily for you, I’m here to humble you”

“Luckily?”

“Luckily.”

Tommy placed his hand on her thigh which caused her to raise an eyebrow at him but she didn’t say nor do anything.

“I know nothing about you,” Tommy told her

“I could say the same thing about you”

“You know things about me. You know my family and my past.”

(Y/N) snorted, “That’s a bit of a stretch. I know that you fought in the war, that’s it”

“That’s more than I know about you.”

“Okay” (Y/N) holds up two fingers, “You get to know one thing about my past and one about my family”

Tommy sipped his drink as he thought about which questions he would ask her.

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Four older brothers”

“You’re alike our Ada”

(Y/N) had never met the Shelby lady but judging by the little bits she heard from the brothers, it seemed like she, other than their aunt, was one of the only people who could tell Tommy to ‘shut up’ or ‘fuck off’ without consequence.

“In more ways than you may realise”

“Where are you from?”

“Ah!” (Y/N) held up her hand, “I won’t answer that”

“Why not?” Tommy fiddled with the edge of her dressing gown, his hand shifting higher up her thigh

“Because I said so, now, new question”

“How was your life back home?”

“Easy. I never had to worry about if there would be food on the table at the end of the day but I was restricted.”

“How?”

“I was not allowed to leave my house nor have friends, my life was lonely.”

“Was you sick as a child?”

“No. I was a vulnerability” (Y/N) downed the rest of her drink before turning to Tommy, “I’ve said too much. That was more than one thing you pulled from me”

“I’ll make it up”

“I hope so”

(Y/N) bit her lip as she thought something through as the flat dissolved into silence.

“Are you going to sleep with me or are you going to continue to play with my dressing gown?”

“Are you going to say no?”

“I won’t be tonight”

“Good”

With that, Tommy swooped down and pulled her into a kiss, one that she eagerly returned. They kissed until they pulled apart needing air and Tommy pulled her onto his lap,

“You sure?”

“Yes”

(Y/N) pulled him into another kiss as Tommy lifted her into his arms as he pushed himself onto his feet and made his way over to her bed where he promptly dropped her though he quickly followed suit.

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) mindlessly trailed her fingers across Tommy’s ribs as they laid together underneath her blanket. Tommy was sat up against the headboard as he smoked a cigarette while (Y/N) was curled into his side.

“Next week, I’ll take you down to London,” Tommy announced, breaking the silence.

(Y/N) snorted, “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“I don’t do dates.”

“Hmm, I suppose you don’t have to wine and dine them. Somehow your charm does the work”

“‘Somehow’?”

“You’re a miserable bastard Tommy” (Y/N) looked up at him and gave him a smirk

“Next week then?” Tommy ignored her jab

“Yeah, I’ll talk to Harry and get a day off”

“You don’t have to ask Harry. We own the bloody pub, take as many days off you want”

“You may own it but I do not work for you, I work for Harry” (Y/N) looked up and glared at Tommy, before rolling to the other side of the bed and wrapping the blankets around her shoulder, “Anyway, I’m going to sleep now. Stay or leave, I don’t mind.”

Not realising how tired she was, (Y/N) almost immediately fell asleep and Tommy stared at her sleep form.

He was enamoured with her, her mysterious life aside, he looked forward to every time they would meet and he enjoyed her fiery attitude towards him but he was confused as to what he wanted their relationship to be like. He didn’t date but he wanted something more than a purely sexual dynamic but he didn’t know what she wanted either. He could speak to her but that was outside of his comfort zone.

Tommy did not leave but he did not sleep, he continued to sit and smoke through the rest of his pack as he watched the sky turn light and the sun rose before he finally left.

.•° ✿ °•.

The next week, Tommy had picked (Y/N) up and together they drove down to London. She had dressed up a bit but nothing in something that would be overdoing it but she had noticed Tommy run his eyes over her appreciatively, something that she enjoyed.

“You know, I’ve never been to London” (Y/N) said as she watched the scenery go.

“Never?”

“No. When I arrived in the country, I came straight to Birmingham on a train and that was that”

“Well, I hope you enjoy it”

(Y/N) smiled at him, “Me too”

(Y/N) filled the rest of the journey with questions, not just about London but about Birmingham and Small Heath as well.

When they arrived in London, (Y/N) got swept up in all of it. She enjoyed the bright lights and people filled the street. It was unlike anything she’s ever experienced and she loved it.

Tommy took her to go see a play, and as she watched the actors perform, (Y/N) thought she should make a list of things that Tommy was introducing her to because she was quickly running out of fingers to count on.

After dinner, Tommy took her to a bridge that crossed the River Thames and they talked as they looked over the barrier, like they did by the cut in Small Heath.

“Tonight was great, thank you, Tommy”

Tommy took a step closer to her and took her hand in his, “Look, I don’t know what the future entails or what I exactly want between us but I do want you next to me”

“I’ve never heard of that position before” (Y/N) curled her fingers around his, “I’m not your partner, your fiance, your wife but…”

“You are my person”

“...Your person”

As Tommy leant forward to kiss her, (Y/N) suddenly snapped back, her head swivelling around.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

(Y/N) threw one last look over her shoulder before turning to him with a smile that he was starting to recognise as one she used as a distraction and a cover-up. It worked on him before and he has seen it being used against various members of Small Heath, who, once seeing that smile, had followed her conversation change though (Y/N) also had no problem using her sharp tongue if anyone crossed any lines.

.•° ✿ °•.

Just as Tommy leant down towards her, (Y/N) heard people speaking the language of her home country causing her to pull away from him. She strained to hear what was being said but the voices were quickly drowned by the chatter of over people on the bridge along with the cars that sped around them.

She looked around trying to see if she recognised anyone but yet again, the bridge was so busy, it was impossible for her. (Y/N) mentally cursed at herself, she was foolish to let her barriers remain down whilst they were in London, as it was more likely her father had men there and if she had been spotted, she wouldn’t know until it was too late.

When Tommy called for her attention she turned to him with a smile after one last look over her shoulder. While she couldn’t see anyone, she would be on edge for a while.

“So, did you book a hotel room or are we driving back tonight?”

Tommy stood back and offered her his arm, “To the hotel it is”

.•° ✿ °•.

A month after the trip to London, (Y/N) and Tommy were going steady, if that was an appropriate word for their dynamic. They saw each other on a regular business but he hadn’t taken her on a date anywhere as extravagant as the one to London but (Y/N) enjoyed the nights in her flat where they would just drink and talk.

She was less on edge now she was back in Small Heath and nothing had happened to her but she remained vigilant but her new life relatively undisturbed changed that evening.

She had been working at the pub as usual when she felt eyes on her, it was unusual that when a patron got drunk that they would stare at her but they would usually look away once a prostitute or a friend got their attention but this man was different.

She took quick glances at him as she worked and not once did this man's gaze falter, he had been nursing the same drink he had first ordered and his eyes were clear of any drunkness. (Y/N) knew something was up with him.

Not wanting to be defenceless, (Y/N) went out to the back of the pub and picked up one of the loose bricks that were laying around and put it in her handbag before she returned to the bar, hoping that the man assumed she only took a toilet break.

Once her shift ended, (Y/N) left Harry to close up and started her way home. The man had left with the other patrons when the pub was closed but (Y/N) knew the man was waiting in the shadows for her.

As she walked back to her flat, she heard his footsteps behind her and her heart raced. If her plan went wrong then she would either be brought back home or dead and out of two, she preferred death.

She sped up and turned into the upcoming alleyway as she took her handbag off of her shoulders and grasped it tightly in her hands and when the man turned into the alleyway, she swung her bag at his head and watched as it successfully connected, causing the man to collapse at her feet.

She paused waiting to see if he stirred but the man was knocked out. (Y/N) dropped to her knees before she searched the body, looking for a gun or any sort of weapon but when she heard hurried footsteps heading her way she froze before she pulled the brick out of her purse and held it aloft, ready to throw it whoever to turned the corner, fearing that the man had an accomplice that she didn’t see.

.•° ✿ °•.

On his way home from his office, Tommy had spotted (Y/N) on her way home from work but just as he was about to call her name and get her attention, he noticed the man following her.

He snapped his mouth shut but silently followed after the man but when he and (Y/N) disappeared in an alleyway, he ran after them, pulling his gun out of his holster as he did so.

He rounded into the alleyway, gun drawn and ready to shoot but froze at the scene he ran into. The man who had been following (Y/N) was unconscious on the floor and (Y/N) was crouched over him, brick in hand ready to throw.

Tommy let his arm drop to his side, “What the fuck is going on?”

(Y/N) who sighed in relief at the sight of him, threw the brick to the side and continued to search through his pockets like she was doing before Tommy interrupted.

“You have a place where we can drag him, yes?” (Y/N) asked as he pulled out a gun from one of his pockets

“(Y/N)! What the fuck is happening?”

“Yes or no, Thomas!” (Y/N) snapped, “I will tell you but only if you fucking help me”

Tommy tucked his gun back in his holster before he made his way over to the man and hooked his arms underneath his armpits and began dragging him towards one of the many empty buildings in Small Heath.

“Follow me”

(Y/N) quickly snatched up her purse and followed after him but she was constantly checking over her shoulder to see if anyone was following them but once they arrived at the building, most of the tension dropped out of her shoulders.

Once Tommy dropped the man in the middle of the room he turned on his heel and pointed a finger at her, “Right, tell me what the fuck is happening.”

(Y/N) tugged off her scarf and went over to the man and began tying his ankles together,

“You know I haven’t told you anything about my past” (Y/N) grunted as she pulled the knots tight, “Give me your tie”

“You’ve told me a little,” Tommy said as he tugged off his tie before he gave it to her.

As (Y/N) began tying his wrists together, she began to tell Tommy about her life.

“What I told about how gangs run the country wasn’t a lie. Life there is hell for the common people, death is better than living there. But…”

“You left out something…”

(Y/N) sighed as she turned to Tommy, “My family is the biggest criminal organisation in the country. They have politicians and royalty in their pockets. Honestly? It makes your little gang here seem like a joke in comparison”

“...So you ran away from home?”

(Y/N) glared at him, “It was not that simple.”

“Then explain it to me then”

(Y/N) made her way over to him and took a seat on the floor, “I couldn’t get anyone to help me because if we got caught they’d be killed and I couldn’t have that on my conscience. Also, they’re a liability. I had to steal some money and other items from my family so that I could sell them and I had only planned as far as getting out of my country. Everything after that was a spur of the moment decision.”

“Your life was good, why run?”

“It wasn’t ‘good’, it was easy. Besides I was the only daughter and my father would sell me to the highest bidder or to whoever he had been beefing with as a gift”

“Your brothers have no issue with that?”

“They’re men, so they’re more valuable” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and put quotation marks around the word valuable, “They’re all just like my father.”

“Your mother”

“A weak woman. Sold to my dad like how my dad would sell me off. Are you going to ask me about my uncles next?”

This time Tommy rolled his eyes but he took a seat next to her, “So, who is this man?”

“No clue” (Y/N) shrugged, “I’m guessing one of my father’s men or you know, one of the men of my father’s men”

“What do you plan on doing with him?” Tommy asked as he pulled out a couple of cigarettes and lit them, giving on to (Y/N), which she gratefully accepted.

“It depends on what information he knows and what he has shared, but I’ll probably have to kill him”

“Have you ever killed someone before?”

“Nope” (Y/N) sent Tommy a grin, “But you have”

.•° ✿ °•.

The man awoke with a sputtered cough before squirmed on the floor, trying to get up until he realised he had been tied up. He rolled on to his back and craned his head so that he was looking at Tommy and (Y/N)

“Release me!”

(Y/N) stood up and crushed her cigarette underneath her shoe before walking over to the man and stood over him.

“I have questions first”

“Fuck you!” The man cursed the language of (Y/N)’s home country.

“Ah!” (Y/N) grinned, “You speak the language, so I’m guessing my father sent you”

“I’m not the only one he sent” The man spat, “There’s about a hundred in England looking for you. Hundred in America and Australia too. No matter where you go, we’ll find you”

“Of course. I know that but I’m not particularly concerned about that, I’m more curious about you.”

“Me?”

(Y/N) nods, “You.”

Tommy watched the interaction with interest. He had no clue what they were saying but he assumed that (Y/N) was pressing the man for information and truthfully speaking, he found it kind of hot.

“It was my father who sent you, correct?”

The man nodded, “Whoever finds you and brings you back gets a seat on his council and your hand in marriage”

(Y/N) scoffed and rolled her eyes and then turned to Tommy, “My father is offering a seat on his council and my hand in marriage to whoever finds me and brings me to him. Interested?”

Tommy snorted, “Does the marriage come with a nice house in your country?”

“Hmm, I’d have to ask”

“Does the marriage come with a nice house?”

This time the man actually spat at her causing her to flinch back and wiped her face with her sleeve with a grimace.

“Okay, enough joking around. How did you find me?”

“London! A bunch of us were stationed there but I’m the only one who spotted you” The man had switched to English.

“Did you tell anyone that you were coming here to get me?”

“No. If I did, I would already be dead.” The man shook his head, “You don’t get a joint prize if you join up with someone.”

“So no one knows you’re here?”

“No”

“...Good”

(Y/N) turned away from the man and walked back to Tommy, “I need a favour”

Tommy raised a knowing brow, “What do I get in return?”

“My undying gratitude?”

“Okay,” Tommy nods, “What’s your plan?”

“Luckily, he hasn’t told anyone about Small Heath but if we let him go, he could tell anyone.”

“So we kill him.”

“...We do”

The man started to scream in protest at their words, moving about erratically, trying his hardest to escape from his restraints.

“Shut up!” (Y/N) shouted at the man

“I’ll get Uncle Charlie to sail down to London and dump his body there, we don't need any unnecessary attention.”

“Your Uncle Charlie would be okay with that?” (Y/N) found that hard to believe.

“No, but he’ll do it anyway.”

“So,” (Y/N) sighed, “How do we get him you wherever your Uncle Charlie is?”

“Knock him out I suppose”

“...I left my brick in the alleyway”

That caused Tommy to snigger. Their current situation wasn’t a laughable one but somehow (Y/N) had managed to make him laugh. He pushed himself up to his feet and pulled his gun out from his holster and made his way over to the frantic man.

He climbed on to the man, legs on either side of his body and then gripped the gun by its barrel before he raised his hand up and struck down with strength, hitting the man with the butt of his gun and rendering him unconscious.

The man became limp and Tommy climbed off and tucked his gun away, “That should do it”

“Alright”

Tommy hooked his arms underneath the man’s like before and started to drag him out of the building with (Y/N) leading the way to Charlie’s yard. Once they arrived, Tommy dragged the man to the edge of the dock.

“Charlie!” Tommy shouted into the night, “Uncle Charlie!”

Moments later an older man hobbled out into the yard, “Jesus Christ, Tom. The sun hasn’t even fully risen yet”

Realising how much time had passed, (Y/N) looked up at the sky and saw the sun just starting to rise and suddenly, all at once, a wave of tiredness waved over her and she was exhausted.

“I need a favour”

“What now?” Charlie grumbled

“I need him dumped in London.” Tommy kicked at the man at his feet

Charlie looked down at the body with what could almost be described as negative interest, “He’s dead then is he?”

“Just knocked out.”

“I’m not going to kill him” Charlie protested, “It’ll take four days to get London anyhow and I won’t have a dead rotting body as I go down”

Tommy was silent as he thought about what to do,

“I’ll go down but I’ll take Curly.”

Charlie nodded, “Alright, I’ll go get him.”

When he left, (Y/N) tugged Tommy to the side and placed her hands on his chest, looking up at him, “You don’t have to do this you know? This is too much for me to ask”

“Hey” Tommy took her chin in his fingers, “Don’t worry, I want to do this.”

“...Thank you” (Y/N) gripped his coat, “Come back to me”

Tommy pressed a soft kiss to her lips, “I will”

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) was on edge for the rest of the week, constantly looking over her shoulder for any suspicious men along with walking around Tommy’s office and Watery Lane for any sight of the man but she didn’t see the man until just over a week since the last time she saw him.

It was late at night when she heard a knock on the door and she scrambled to open it, knowing that it could only possibly be Tommy.

When she opened the door, she threw herself into his arms, arms tight around his neck, “You’re okay”

“Did you think I died?”

“Something like that, now come in”

As Tommy settled himself on her couch, (Y/N) makes them with a drink before she joined him,

“How did everything go?”

“Quick, easy, no need for concern”

“H-How did you do it?”

“Stuffed him full of alcohol and then pushed him overboard” Tommy filled her in

“Smart, if they find him then they’ll just assume he drunk too much and accidentally fell off a bridge or something”

“...Are you safe now?”

(Y/N) gave him a small smile, “For now. They’ll realise he’s been missing or dead soon enough and there still will be a group of people after me but for now, I am safe.”

Tommy’s hand slipped into hers, “I’ll protect you”

“You don’t need to”

“I want to”

.•° ✿ °•.

Months passed without any sort of drama from her end though the same could not be said for Tommy. He had been getting involved in all sorts of business and trouble, something that his Aunt Polly deeply disapproved with but Tommy did what Tommy did, which was whatever he wanted.

That morning, Tommy had gone to the funeral of his brother-in-law along with the rest of his family, leaving (Y/N) alone in Small Heath for the day. Tasked with setting up the pub that morning, (Y/N) made her way to the pub but the sight of two women in black pushing baby prams had stopped her in her steps and she watched as they left them by the doors before running away.

Concerned, she made her way towards the prams but before she could get too close, she was thrown back by the blast of the explosion. Her body hit the cobblestone street with a harsh whack, leaving her dazed.

Once the ringing in her ears had faded and she could open her eyes without immediately wanting to throw up, (Y/N) pushed herself up so that she was sitting up straight and watched as the Garrison burned and tears of heartbreak mixed with her tears of pain.

Soon the streets were filled with policemen and firefighters as they worked together to put out the fire and clear up the area and she watched them as she held a handkerchief that Moss gave her, to the cut on her cheek. Her heart hurt as she looked at what remained of the Garrison, the pub had meant a lot to her and seeing it being reduced to nothing stung, (Y/N) returned back to her flat, unable to take anymore.

Not long after, two cars pulled up the Garrison and the Shelby’s spilt out, Tommy and Polly leading them.

“It happened at, uh, exactly 7 a.m. Only one person saw anything. Our patrols were not in the area.” Moss informed them.

“Who saw it?” Polly asked as she looked at the building.

Moss looked at his notepad, “One of the barmaids, (Y/N). She was also caught up in the blast”

Tommy spun on his heel at the mention of (Y/N)’s name and stalked over to Moss, “What happened to her?”

Moss looked over his shoulder, “She was over there but I guess she must have gone home”

Tommy strode away from the Garrison, ignoring the shouts from Polly as he made his way towards (Y/N)’s flat. He knocked on her door before he walked in, knowing that she rarely locks it during the day.

He found her wrapped in her blankets on her bed, staring mindlessly through her window. Tommy sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her leg,

“You alright?”

(Y/N) let out a wet laugh, “Not really”

“Moss said you got hurt”

“Hmm, the blast flung me back but I’ll be fine. My body will ache and I’ll have a killer headache for a few days but I’ll be fine”

“Look at me”

(Y/N) turned to face him, slightly crawling out of her blanket cocoon and Tommy took her face in his hands, his thumb tracing just underneath her cut.

“What happened?”

“There were two women, in black and they were pushing prams and just left them by the door. I went over but they exploded before I could get too close”

“Did your upbringing not teach you to not go looking at things that are suspicious?” Tommy chided

“I thought there were actual kids in the prams and they had been abandoned”

Tommy didn’t say anything but a look of understanding overcame his face, “I guess that makes sense”

“Not one thing made sense about this place since I arrived. Not one”

“I’ll give you that” Tommy agreed with her

“What’s your plan with the Garrison then?”

“Fix it up.” Tommy sighed as he stood up, knowing that he couldn’t stay with her for any longer “I’ll give you some money until you’re able to get back to work”

(Y/N) smiled at him, “Thank you. You going?”

Tommy nodded at her, “Got business.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before he left and it wasn’t until he was halfway to his location, did he realise that he’s never done something like that before.

.•° ✿ °•.

The reopening night of the Garrison was a big one and when stepped through the doors, she noted the stark differences with a frown tugging at her lips. The walls were gold and the curtains were red, the chandeliers were grand but it wasn’t the Garrison.

She gave pleasant smiles to those she came across as she made her way towards the back of the bar, the place where she felt the most comfortable. Arthur was also there and she could tell he was on something due to his erratic behaviour but she didn’t mention it to him, only giving him a wave as she wrapped the apron around her waist.

She was quickly swept up with taking orders and making drinks that she didn’t realise that Tommy had reached her until he placed his hand on her hip,

“What do you think aye?” He tried to speak over the loud music

(Y/N) stepped to the side to somewhere slightly quieter and pulled Tommy with her, “It’s certainly something”

Tommy frowned at her, “You don’t like it?”

(Y/N) sighed before she dragged Tommy to a room at the back so they could have complete privacy, “I don’t hate it and obviously I’m very happy to be back at work but the Garrison looks like it belongs in London rather than Small Heath”

“We’re moving up”

“You are but not everyone else in Small Heath is. Obviously, it’s too late to do anything about it now but in the future, remember you’re in Small Heath and not in London.”

Tommy moved so that there were only mere centimetres between them, “Sometimes, I forget who’s the one who grew up here and who’s the one who arrived a year ago between us”

(Y/N) grinned at him, “What can I say, the town of Small Heath is special to me”

“Want to get out of here?” Tommy asked with a raised brow

“I’m sure Arthur can handle the bar by himself” (Y/N) said as she reached for his hand, allowing him to pull her out of the pub.

.•° ✿ °•.

It wasn’t until a month after the reopening of the pub did (Y/N) realise what her fooling around with Tommy had resulted in. After she had connected the dots herself, she had made her way to Watery Lane to find the person who could confirm it for her along with giving her some solid advice.

She made her way into the house of Watery Lane first rather than entering the betting den, hoping that Polly was there instead of her office.

Tommy had told her about the betting den and his illegal business not long after the incident with the man who had followed her and she did not judge, as it would be hypocritical if she did but she understood the reasoning behind what he did for a living but she still hadn’t visited the actual den itself.

Luckily for her, Polly was in the kitchen of the house and (Y/N) slipped into the seat opposite her,

“I need your...expertise”

Polly put down her cup of tea and looked her up and down before she reached out and placed her hand on (Y/N)’s stomach before moving up to her breast, “You’re pregnant, I’d say two, maybe three months”

(Y/N) sunk back in her chair and released a huff, she didn’t know what to do.

“I’m guessing it’s Tommy's,” Polly said as she made them both a cup of tea.

“Who else's would it be?” (Y/N) scoffed.

“Do you want to keep it?” Polly asks as she sets down the two teacups on the table.

“Hmm, I think I do but I’ll have to talk to Tommy. If he doesn’t want anything to do with it, I’ll guess I’ll have to leave Small Heath,”

“Listen, I don’t know the in’s and out’s of whatever you have going on between you two but I do know my nephew. He cares about you deeply and he’s not the type of man to abandon his child.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“Last I heard, Charlie’s Yard”

(Y/N) stands up with a nod, “Alright, thank you”

As she made her way to Charlie’s Yard, (Y/N) thought of how she could tell Tommy the news. There was no point dragging it out and Tommy was someone who liked to get straight to the information but she was nervous either way.

She pushed open the gates and made her way to where Charlie and Curly were, “Hello Charlie, Curly.”

Curly stuttered out a greeting and Charlie nodded at her.

“Is Tommy around? I’d heard he was here”

“You just missed him, he went to the Garrison” Charlie informed her.

(Y/N) nodded in thanks and quickly scurried away before she could hear the second sentence.

“But he’s with a woman…” Charlie finished as he watched (Y/N) run away.

(Y/N) hurried to the Garrison, annoyed that she had to run around Small Heath just to find one man and it didn’t help that the news she was carrying was heavy. Finally arriving, she called out his name as she pushed open the door,

“Tommy?! You better be here otherwise-oh” (Y/N) paused at the sight of Tommy with a woman at the bar.

“I thought you weren’t working today?”

“I’m not, I wanted to speak to you and was told I’d find you here but you’re obviously busy, so I’ll leave you alone”

Tommy nodded in understanding and just as (Y/N) was turning to leave the other woman stood forward and offered her hand,

“I’m May. May Carleton.”

(Y/N) glanced over to Tommy, taken off guard but he continued drinking his drink so (Y/N) shook May’s hand, “(Y/N). Nice to meet you”

“Just (Y/N)? No last name?”

“I don’t have one.” (Y/N) gave May one last polite smile before she left.

May stared after her for a few more moments before she turned to Tommy, “She’s not serious right? What is her last name?”

Tommy gave may a shrug, “If she has one, she hasn’t told me”

.•° ✿ °•.

“Right, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked as he stepped into her flat later that evening.

“Uhm okay, I’m just going to get it right out”

Tommy watched as she paced in front of him, whatever she had to tell him was clearly weighing heavily on her mind and he didn’t push her over getting it over and done with.

“Tommy,...I’m pregnant”

Tommy stared at her in shock. Out of all the things he guessed she would tell him, that wasn’t one of them.

“I know this isn’t what we planned or anything and I’ll completely understand if you don’t want anything to do with it but I want to keep it” (Y/N) rushed out in one breath.

“(Y/N), I don’t want you to get rid of it and I want to be involved” Tommy pulled (Y/N) into his embrace, “We’ll raise this child together. You and me.”

(Y/N) looked up at him with tears in her eyes, “Really?”

“Really. We’ll do it.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Tommy tighters and cried into his shoulder and he let her, rubbing his hand up and down her back in hopes it comforted her.

“I was so scared”

“I know. It’s okay.”

They were wrapped up in each other’s embrace for a while before Tommy moved them over to the couch,

“Have you been to the doctor?” Tommy asked

“I went to Polly. Practically the same thing”

Tommy agreed, there were moments where he trusted Polly’s opinion and help over a doctors.

“What did she say?”

“Two months, maybe three”

“I know you went to Polly but I want you to go to the doctor, just to make sure”

(Y/N) nods in agreement, “I will.”

.•° ✿ °•.

One day, almost two months after (Y/N) found out she was pregnant, Tommy picked her up from her flat and took her for a drive. He wouldn’t tell her where they were going but he reassured her that she would like it.

Recently, they were at odds with each other with Tommy wanting (Y/N) to stop working entirely and (Y/N) being totally against it, so she assumed that perhaps he was trying to butter her up.

“You’re not trying to do something so that I’ll forgive you?” (Y/N) asked him.

“No, you can still be as mad as you want, I’m not going to stop you.”

“So the surprise had nothing to do with it?”

“Nope,” Tommy said as he pulled a tie out of his pocket and gave it to her, “Wrap it around your eyes”

(Y/N) did so without arguing and a minute later they pulled up to a stop and Tommy went over to the passenger side of the car to help her out. He kept his grip on her arm as he leads her forward before they stopped.

“You ready?”

(Y/N) nodded, “Yes”

“You can take off the tie”

(Y/N) gasped at what she stood in front of. It was a house, though that was being generous, it was massive and as (Y/N) looked around her in shock, she also realised that they were surrounded by copious amounts of land.

“What’s this?”

“This” Tommy walked towards her, “Is our house”

“Ours? All of it?”

Tommy grinned at her, “All it and all of this land as well. There’s also a stable round back”

“You had to make it worth your while as well, huh?” (Y/N) teased him

“Want to look inside?”

“Can we?”

Tommy offered his arm and (Y/N) took it and allowed him to lead her inside.

The interior was just as grand as the exterior and (Y/N) had fallen love with the place, it was perfect for them, yet also brought back some memories.

“You know, this reminds me of my house back home. It was bigger since it had to satisfy my father’s ego but it never felt like home, not like the way my flat does.”

“This will be different, this will be a home where our child will grow up and they won’t grow up as we did”

(Y/N) nodded reassured.

“I know you want to work for as long as you can and I know I can’t stop you but when you’re ready you can move in here”

(Y/N) was grateful that Tommy gave her space and he understood her because she knew she would go crazy just staying at the house and doing nothing whilst she was still pregnant. When the baby arrived, it would be a different story.

.•° ✿ °•.

When (Y/N) could no longer bend down to collect glasses due to her bump, she knew she had to throw in the towel and stop working. Harry had her working on the books for the most part while she occasionally did bar work but she had reached her limit with her feet swollen and her back constantly aching.

Truthfully the reason why she was having such a difficult time leaving her job was that she did not know when she would be able to return. She enjoyed working at the Garrison and interacting with the locals but once she had the child she would have to put that on pause as she raised her child. She could have a nanny but that was how she was raised and she did not like that.

She made her into Tommy’s office, pausing by Lizzie’s desk to see if he was free before entering. He didn’t look up from his papers when she entered but he did give her a greeting which she returned as she took a seat.

“I’ve decided to hang up my apron” She announces to him.

This makes Tommy look up, “Yeah?”

“I can’t reach the glasses, my ankles are swollen and I have a constant need to go toilet” (Y/N) complained, “If I knew how terrorising pregnancy would be, I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant”

“Want me to call you a driver?”

“Please, I need a nap” Their bed was calling to (Y/N)

Tommy reached for the phone on his desk and called for a driver for her and as (Y/N) watched him, she realised how domesticated it was. Though in many ways, they were too, they lived together, shared a bed and (Y/N) was pregnant with their child but they weren’t in any sort of official relationship of any kind. She would have thought that Tommy would have suggested that they got married for the sake of the child but he hadn’t even brought it up.

She had thought about talking to him about it but her fears quickly overtook her whenever she built up the courage and though it frustrated her, she had more important things to worry about.

.•° ✿ °•.

Childbirth was an experience unlike any other and (Y/N) had to wonder how her mother did it five times but at the end when she held her daughter in her arms, she had never felt happier. It was, in fact, the best day of her life.

Tommy was sitting next to her on the bed, a similar smile on his face. He had never thought that he would become a parent but now that he was one, he found that all of his love was directly for one tiny human and their mother and he had something to live for. He wasn’t afraid of death but now he wouldn’t go throwing himself into situations where he could die and leave his family behind.

“What should we name her?” He asked

“I like the name Isla.”

“Isla Mary Shelby”

(Y/N) looked up at him, “Is Mary your mother’s name?”

Tommy nodded and (Y/N) smiled at him,

“I like that, it suits her. Isla Mary Shelby”

.•° ✿ °•.

Life with a newborn was hard and even though they had nannies on hand to help out, (Y/N) still had reservations on relying on them but slowly she was working towards something that worked for her.

The rest of the Shelby family were just as enamoured with Isla as her parents were and so Polly and Ada were regular visitors. (Y/N) in particular was very grateful for Polly’s presence, the woman always had the best advice and the woman would practically be the closest thing to a grandparent Isla would have.

As (Y/N) unlearned the behaviours of her own parents, so did Tommy. They did not want to become their parents and it took a lot of reassurance and from each other to make sure that they were doing the right thing, they weren't perfect but there was no such thing.

One day, when Isla was a few months old, Tommy brought up the elephant in the room; their marriage or much rather, their lack of one. They were outside, enjoying the warm weath of the summer, watching the horses in the field when he spoke up.

“One day, we’ll get married” He spoke out of the blue, linking their fingers together, “I’m not just saying that so that Isla is safe incase anything happens to me but I do love you and I do want to get married to you”

(Y/N) squeezed his hand, “Is this you proposing to me?”

“Yeah, it is”

Tommy pulled a ring box from out of his pocket and opened it and in there rested a gorgeous ring. He plucked the ring out of the box and held it out to her,

“(Y/N), will you marry me?”

(Y/N)’s lips pulled into a bright smile as she nodded, “Of course, I will.”

Tommy slipped the ring on her finger and pulled her into a kiss. (Y/N) gushed over the ring as she pulled Tommy into hug,

“I know our relationship is unconventional but I know we’re meant for each other”

“We’re good to each other,” Tommy agreed.

“I want to do it when she’s older though, so she can be the flower girl” (Y/N) says as she runs her fingers over Isla’s head, smiling at the little girl’s coos.

“A year or two then”

(Y/N) nods before she brings him into another kiss.

“What is your last name?” Tommy asks

“Does it matter? I am to be a Shelby” (Y/N) replied as she admired her ring.

“I suppose it doesn’t”

.•° ✿ °•.

Just as promised, two years later, Tommy and (Y/N) were getting married. The wedding ceremony would be taking place in a nearby church whilst the reception would be held at their house.

(Y/N) slipped her wedding dress on with the help of Polly whilst, Ada touched up her makeup.

“Nervous?” Polly asked as she did the buttons of the back of her dress

“No” (Y/N) said as she watched her daughter through the mirror, “It’s been a long time coming.”

Polly patted her shoulders, “You’re good to go.”

(Y/N) gave her one last smile before she made her way over to her daughter.

“Hi princess, you ready?” (Y/N) asked

Isla was already dressed as she sat on the floor, playing her dolls, with a cute hair clip that matched her dress.

“We see daddy?”

“Uh-huh” (Y/N) nodded, smiling when Isla jumped up and took her hand.

As she had no family to walk her down the aisle, John had stepped up and offered his arm, which she gratefully took. Isla toddled down first, throwing handfuls of petals out of her little basket down to the floor before she hurried over to wrap her arms around her father’s legs giving him a quick hug before Polly scooped her up.

Then, (Y/N) and John walked down and (Y/N) could not keep her eyes off of Tommy. He had a straight face but that did not fool her in any way, she knew he wanted the wedding as much as she did.

The ceremony sped by and before she knew it, (Y/N) was walking back down the aisle but this time her arm was in Tommy’s and their friends and family were cheering and throwing petals at them as they left the church.

They stopped at the steps as they waited for the rest of their family to join them and they took the moment to have half a second of alone time.

“I told you we should have gotten married just by ourselves with an officiant.” Tommy muttered underneath his breath.

“I don’t plan on having another wedding, do you? I want this to be a day I remember for the rest of my life” (Y/N) responded, “Now, please don’t frown, you’re worse than Isla.”

Tommy rolled his eyes at the reminder that his daughter took after him in many ways but relaxed his face as the rest of their family joined them and took their places for the picture.

.•° ✿ °•.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know they would do this”

(Y/N) jumped when Tommy suddenly stormed into the room she was in, a newspaper clenched in his hands.

“Huh? What are you on about?”

Tommy gave her the newspaper before he began to angrily pace in front of her. (Y/N) looked down at the newspaper and her stomach dropped at the headline and the picture from their wedding day below it;

‘Thomas Shelby OBE MP marries wife in small wedding in Warwickshire’

“What the fuck…”

“They must have snuck in with the other photographer” Tommy theorised, “It’s a national paper”

“Oh Tommy,” (Y/N) sighed, “Is this today’s paper?”

Tommy shook his head, “Yesterday’s”

“Then it is too late” (Y/N) whimpered, “They know where I am and they’ll be here to get me”

“It’s been what, three, four years since you ran away, would they still care?”

“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, they won’t stop until I’m back or dead. I defied them and they’ll never forgive me”

Tommy dropped to his knees in front of her, “They won’t I promise you that.”

“If this is yesterday's paper then they could be here already. It’s too late.”

“I have men here, we can take him”

(Y/N) shook her head in denial, “Not if they get my father or brothers”

“They’ll take a couple of weeks for them to get there, we can plan in that time.”

“No, Tommy” (Y/N) sounded defeated, “No offence, but your Peaky Boys have nothing on my fathers men and we’re isolated out here”

“Have you given up?” Tommy was in disbelief, “Have you given up on living? Given up on your daughter who sleeps upstairs?! That’s not who you are!”

“You don’t know them! They will kill all of us except me if we try to fight back and they will torture me with that fact. If I go to them without a fight, then you can live!”

“No. I refuse.”

“You refuse?” (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh

“We go on the run. Escape to America until it’s all blown over”

“They’ll find us there and it’ll repeat until they get me”

Tommy released a frustrated sigh as he paced to the other side of the room and pour himself a large class of whiskey,

“I refuse to simply allow you to give yourself up to them. Isla needs her mother and I need my wife. You said you didn’t want to be the type of parents yours were but what you have planned, is simply no better.”

“Then what do you suggest?” (Y/N)’s voice was quiet but there was an edge to it.

“We go back to Small Heath, we gather our men and we plan.”

(Y/N) took a deep breath and nodded, “We do not give up”

Tommy pulled her into a hug, “We do not”

.•° ✿ °•.

They had temporarily moved back to Small Heath and Tommy and gathered all of the family but as (Y/N) refused to let anyone get too involved or close, the brunt of the plan laid on her shoulders.

It had almost been a month and nothing had happened which meant that her family was coming or she had managed to get away with it but they were still on edge and weren’t willing to put their guards down. Tommy had Moss keep an eye out along with Alfie Solomons sending information about what was happening in London. According to him, (Y/N)’s father’s men had paid for spies across the city and that they knew they were in Birmingham.

Their intuition was right when one day they had received a call from Moss about two cars heading into Small Heath and (Y/N) knew her family had finally arrived. Not wanting to bring the confrontation to the streets of Small Heath, Tommy and (Y/N) drove to the edge and met them there but they weren’t completely alone, Tommy had gun men placed around the area which gave them a little advantage but there was no knowing what her family had planned.

If things went south and neither (Y/N) or Tommy survived then Ada was instructed to escape to America with Karl and Isla and (Y/N) could only hope that wouldn’t happen.

They stood in silence as they waited for the family to arrive but when (Y/N) spotted them, she pulled Tommy into a kiss and hug,

“I love you, never forget that.” She whispers to him.

“I won’t”

They pulled apart when the cars pulled to a stop and turned to face the men who stepped out.

An older man stepped out first, before four younger men climbed out after him. (Y/N) could not help herself as she ran her eyes over her family, looking at what had changed since she last saw them.

“Father. Brothers” She greeted as they stood to a stop opposite her and Tommy.

The youngest brother, the one closest in age to her tipped his head in greeting whilst everyone else glared at her.

“Daughter. I see you decided to make the correct decision and give yourself up.”

(Y/N) snorted and shook her head, “I have not. I will not”

“Do not be foolish sister,” Her eldest brother takes a step forward, “Don’t you realise how worried we’ve been? We’ve been searching for you for year, only to find out you’ve been here in this...shithole”

Her brother looked around in disgust as he finished his sentence.

“Drop the act. I’m not here to play games.” (Y/N) was tired already, “I’m not leaving with you, so what’s your plan?”

“You don’t have a choice. I set up a marriage between you and my closest man, you know he has spent all these years travelling across the globe looking for you? He deserves a reward”

(Y/N) pulled a face at her fathers words, “First of all, I am not a reward, I am a human being. Second, he must have not been looking very hard considering I ended up being ousted by a newspaper and thirdly, I’m already married and I don’t plan on getting married again”

Her second eldest brother snarled at her, “You’ve grown a backbone sister. We’ll have to beat it out of you”

This caused Tommy to finally step forward and cleared his throat, “I can’t let you to do that”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m her husband” Tommy gestured towards (Y/N) and she could see that he enjoyed it.

“Enough!” (Y/N)’s father stepped forward, “No more arguing, I’ll give you one last chance or we’ll take you by force”

(Y/N)’s shoulders slumped, “Why don’t you leave me alone? Go back and just forget about me”

“No one will take us seriously, if we don’t make an example out of you, then we’ll be seen as a joke.”

“I won't go and you cannot force me to and I’d much rather die than go anywhere with you”

Her father pulled out his gun and her brothers quickly followed which caused Tommy to do the same and the air was thick with tension.

“No, no, no if she wants to die then I’ll be the one to kill her.” Her father waved at her brothers and they put their guns away.

(Y/N) looked at Tommy and gave him a nod, and Tommy nodded back knowing the meaning behind the look and he put his gun away too. (Y/N) made her way to her father and when she was close enough, he reached out and pulled her towards him and jabbed his gun underneath her jaw.

“This is the end, daughter, you brought this upon yourself” Her father growled

“This is the end, but not for me”

(Y/N) pulled the gun she had been hiding in her waistband of her trousers and pressed it against her father’s chest. She didn’t even give him a moment to realise what was happening before she pulled the trigger, shooting her father in the chest.

He staggered back in shock before (Y/N) pushed him and causing him to fall backwards, landing on the floor with a thump,

“Fuck you!” (Y/N) spat in her native language.

One of her brothers came running at her and she pointed the gun at him, stopping him in her tracks, “I’ll kill you too, don’t fucking try me”

“Go back to your home and never return.” Tommy stepped forward.

(Y/N)’s brothers looked between each other before (Y/N) spoke again, “Leave. Take his body and go back. Never come back here or try to find me.”

Her eldest brother motioned for the youngest two to take the body of their father while he cursed at her,

“We’ll never forgive you and you’ll pay for your crimes in the afterworld”

“I’ll meet you there and we can pay for our crimes together”

Her brother growled her one last time before he got into the car and sped off. Once (Y/N) could no longer see them, she turned and collapsed into Tommy’s arms, a massive weight finally lifted off of her.

“You did it!” Tommy pulled away and smiled at her, “You did it, you wonderful woman”

(Y/N) let out a soft, “I did, didn’t I?”

Tommy took her gun and whistled, signalling for the men stationed around they could come down before he began to lead her towards the car,

“Want a drink?”

“Several but before that I want to see my daughter, go back to Arrow House and take a hot bath”

“Whatever you want”

.•° ✿ °•.

The shouts of children filled the gardens of Arrow House along with the chattering of adults and (Y/N) felt the last of the weight of her shoulders disappear. She had always been worried that her family would find her but now that they were truly gone, she could live without worry.

It was Isla’s third birthday and her and Tommy had decided to throw a party to celebrate it. Her and a group of local children were running around whilst the parents and other adults were sitting around enjoying the warm summer air and cool drinks.

Tommy crept up behind (Y/N) and wrapped one of his arms around her waist and gave her a kiss on her cheek, “You okay?”

(Y/N) gave him a smile and a nod, “I’m great”

“Mama!” Isla came running up to her, arms raised, “Up pwease!”

(Y/N) did as she was asked and lifted her daughter up, “What’s up princess?”

“Cake?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. What do you think, dad?” (Y/N) turned to Tommy with a smile

Isla turned to her father and put on her biggest puppy dog eyes, “Pwease dada!”

Tommy put on a show as if he was seriously debating on what to do, “Only if I get a hug from the birthday girl”

(Y/N) almost dropped Isla from how sudden she tried to get out of her arms and into her fathers but she helped her climb over and watched as she gave Tommy a tight hug with an added kiss on the cheek.

“Cake now?”

“Alright, go get your friends and we’ll go get the cake?” Tommy put her down and watched as she ran off to her friends.

“She’s growing up too fast” (Y/N) pouted as they walked inside, “In no time she’ll be spending most of her time at school”

“If she’s anything like her mother, she’ll be fine” Tommy assured her.

(Y/N) sighed, “I know, but I’m still going to be sad. Now let’s get going otherwise our princess will come storming in here demanding to know what’s taking so long”

Tommy pulled (Y/N) to a stop just before they entered the kitchen and cupped her face, “I love you”

(Y/N) smiled at him, “I love you too”

#call an ambulance but not for me vibes in 'that' scene lmao #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x reader #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder imagines #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #imagines #x reader #thomas shelby

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 4 years

Text

Take Your Father to Work Day (S2, E4)

As many people have said: This is one of the STRONGEST Prodigal Son episodes to date. It was incredible. My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below.

I reference Malcolm’s mental health and sexual violence in this one. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:16 - OMG. Destiny’s Child. Whoever is in charge of the soundtrack for this show needs a raise. Or an award. It’s SOO GOOD.

0:18 - How great is this montage of Martin’s prison life too? I mean the insane mundanity of it combined with “Survivor” and Michael Sheen’s incredible acting is some perfect mix between hilarious, captivating, and just brilliant.

1:06 - I feel so bad for Mr.David. He has to deal with Martin’s theatrics every day. Poor guy looks done in this episode.

1:35 - CAN HECTOR BECOME A BIGGER CHARACTER?! PLEASE. He’s hilarious and I love him. “Bro. You got your ass jumped at Sunday School.”

2:09 - Wait. What? Jerry’s getting released?!? I mean, I understand that he’s no longer in need of psychiatric care......but he still killed someone. Shouldn’t he just be getting transferred to a different prison?

2:25 - Does Jerry have a death wish?!?! He’s talking about being released in a room full of jealous murderers. Everyone looks sooooo pissed at Jerry.

2:54 - Martin is such a liar. However - Michael Sheen’s performance is astoundingly good. Like he shines brighter than usual in this episode.

3:17 - Poor Malcolm. “What’s going on?” Poor boy looks terrified.

3:23 - I love everything about this scene. I love how freaked out Malcolm is. I love you extra Jessica is. BUT HANS. Holy shit. I want Hans in every episode. He’s crazy in a good way and such a beautiful comedic relief.

3:30 - OMG. “Skinny milennial” might be the best thing anyone has ever called Malcolm. Someone please tell JT and Dani - hell, even Gil. They would tease him forever and I want to see it.

3:45 - 1) Malcolm is a terrible liar. 2) Jessica knows he’s lying. 3) This story about the wine is interesting. I wonder when and how Malcolm first told Jessica the story. Was it the same night? AND HOW DID ENDICOTT’S BODY END UP IN ESTONIA?!? I WANT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THAT NIGHT.

3:54 - “Ainsley and I came back from the hospital after Gil’s stabbing.”....we never saw Ainsley at the hospital. Was she there and left before Malcolm got there? Or is this a plot hole I need to ignore?

4:05 - The way that the flashbacks of Endicott’s murder is spliced into this scene with Malcolm’s cover story is so perfectly executed. It’s so captivating and so so well done.

4:14 - Malcolm’s eyes look quite manic during the retelling of this story. Poor guy is desperate to have everyone believe the story. Poor guy probably wants to convince himself that the story is true.

4:16 - Wait. What? Ainsley has always been clumsy? .....interesting. I’ve seen no evidence of it but I’ll believe it for the sake of the plot.

4:23 - “At least one of you has a soul.” Holy shit. hahaha Hans is brutal. I love him so much. I also love how this line makes me, as a viewer, think “does that mean the writers want me to think that Ainsley doesn’t have a soul?” ...or more likely that she doesn’t feel emotion (which can be interpreted as a lack of a soul). That she’s a psychopath like Martin?

4:27 - OMG. Jessica loves Hans. He speaks to her dramatic rich woman soul. So entertaining.

4:30 - Poor. Malcolm. This boy is always in some sort of emotional turmoil. For once I wish he was happy (but also I love the emotional whump so if that could continue that would be great).

4:44 - “It’s so much more than that.” *chef’s kiss* comedic genius. I would watch a whole episode of Mr.David making fun of Martin. But can we all just take a minute to appreciate that Martin doesn’t seem bothered at all that Mr.David is basically verbally telling him that he sucks? It’s almost like Martin thinks they’re friends?

4:50 - Martin is strangely chill talking to Mr.David in this scene. It’s a little off-putting. He almost seems normal. He’s not putting on his usual theatrics or ranting about doctor stuff. It makes you wonder how many different sides of Martin that Mr.David has witnessed.

5:01 - “Oh no. Not Jerry.” LMAO. HOLY SHIT. Michael Sheen needs an Emmy. His delivery of that line might be the funniest thing this show has ever given us. hahahahaha

5:29 - Damn. This is not Gil’s month. First Jessica dumps him. Then he has to deal with Martin Whitly in the flesh. That plus the on-going drama of worrying about Malcolm’s mental health and the stress of reintegrating into work after a STAB WOUND.

5:31 - Gil’s face. hahahahaha he’s like, “Kill me. This can’t be happening. I hate everything. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.”

5:37 - “Yeah. Why’d you do it?” GIL. OMG. I’m so proud of Gil for dissing Martin to his face. BUT ALSO I worry that that’s going to give Martin more of a reason to hate Gil. I’m genuinely scared that the writers have Martin escaping as the pre-finale episode and Martin trying to kill Gil as the finale. Maybe Gil shows up trying to save Malcolm, AInsley, and Jessica (whom Martin is trying to abduct or hurt or something) idk I just feel like it’s going to be a likely subplot somewhere. I don’t want an attempt on Gil’s life to become a season finale tradition.

5:56 - Ew. “Gilly” That is a terrible nickname. I think I threw up a little.

6:00 - Damn. I love this scene. I could watch Martin and Gil pretending to be civil to each other for years. So entertaining.

6:29 - hahahahaha OMG. Gil’s reaction to Martin saying, “Thank you” PLUS Edrisa’s sudden excitement at realizing she’s 10 ft away from Malcolm’s Dad - a medical legend, is magical.

6:35 - Not gonna lie. When Edrisa said, “Ok. I’m gonna play it cool.” I had to pause my TV and walk away to calm down. I was experiencing a mixture of second hand embarrassment for Edrisa’s inevitable behaviour, excitement for what is to come, and fear that Martin would be a jerk to our precious Edrisa.

6:44 - Edrisa and Martin interacting was everything I’d hoped. It was strange, funny, sweet, and disturbing at the same time. The sweet, eccentric girl who attends cuddle parties is getting buddy-buddy with a literal serial killer. Hilarious. Even better is Gil’s background reactions as he desperately tries to keep Edrisa away from the psychopath. hahaha <3

7:12 - Gil is currently living in a nightmare. hahahahaha

7:47 - I love this. I love how Malcolm and Ainsley interact. Malcolm is such a good big brother. IDK something about these two adult siblings chilling on a couch and warning each other about Mom’s current rampage reminds me of myself and my younger brother. <3 Warms my cold dead heart. <3 PLUS has anyone else noticed that (as long as Ainsley isn’t hounding Malcolm about a story or airing out his mental health diagnoses like the bs from Q&A) Malcolm is extremely calm around Ainsley. Like maybe the calmest we’ve ever seen him?

8:20 - “Oh Ainsley, that’s a horrible idea.” This is adorable. Malcolm is totally acting like Ainsley’s surrogate dad. He’s trying so hard to protect her. <3

8:42 - There’s something about the way that Malcolm says, “Hey Gil” that makes my heart swell. Idk why. I just their father/son relationship. So much. And it makes me so happy to see Malcolm having semi-normal interactions with people in general.

8:48 - This. Is. The. Funniest. Episode. Of. Prodigal. Son. To. Date. Holy shit. The comical dread on Malcolm’s face. Martin’s glee on the phone. Gil’s general “done with life” body language. Ainsley’s utter joy at her luck. MALCOLM DRAINING THE ALKA-SELTZER. Ainsley saying “chug chug”. So perfect.

9:27 - Is it just me or has Jessica been showing way more concern for her children’s well-being this season? At first I thought it was because she was so happy with Gil....but that’s not a thing anymore (because Jessica is a MORON - seriously if this show gets cancelled before Gil and Jessica are living happily ever after I will riot) so now Idk.

10:02 - EDRISA WHY DID YOU NOT TELL GIL AND MALCOLM THAT THE SURGEON WAS ON THE PHONE?!? For a hot second, poor Malcolm looks like he thinks he’s hallucinating.

10:40 - Gil hanging up on Martin and then telling Edrisa that she needs to make new friends is everything. It’s vicious. Gil looks absolutely furious in this scene and I love it.

11:07 - Yo. Edrisa’s got some baggage. hahaha Malcolm looks soooo uncomfortable with her outburst.

11:18 - I would pay good money to watch Martin and Gil have a pissing match in front of Malcolm every episode. It’s amazing. They’re constantly trying to one-up each other. The tension is palatable. And someone Malcolm is the only one acting like a mature, working adult. Malcolm. My mentally unstable, skinny millennial.

11:34 - OH SHIT. Martin did not just bring Jessica into this. Oh SNAP. Does Martin know that Jessica dumped Gil?!?

11:56 - “I’m going to need a little more than that.” Damn. Malcolm looks pissed here. Pretty sure he hates that Martin just brought up Gil/Jessica. Malcolm’s bio-dad and real dad are fighting and it’s very clear that Malcolm is on Gil’s side.

12:17 - The look that Gil and Malcolm share here is perfect. I love it so much. You can see how annoyed they both are, how much they hate that they need Martin on this case, how much neither of them want Martin’s help. <3

12:23 - SOMEONE GIVE GIL A MEDAL. This man just grit his teeth, smiled, and let MARTIN WHITLY - the man who tried to KILL HIM work on his case. Why? Because Malcolm silently asked him to. Because Gil loves Malcolm and knows that it’s better for Martin to work with them officially than for Malcolm to work with Martin in secret. At least this way he can look out for Malcolm.

12:42 - “It’s taken Dr. Marsh years...” soooo was Dr. Marsh the name of the Asian doctor leading group therapy last season? Is this just a new actor, same character scenario? OR am I supposed to forget that Asian doctor existed last season?

13:04 - I can’t tell if Gil hates this whole “father-son in group therapy idea”. He looks kind of like he hates it (although he is looking at Martin in the shot). I’m inclined to think that Gil is worried. He doesn’t like how nice Martin is acting toward Malcolm. He doesn’t want Malcolm to get hurt again. BUT I also think there’s probably a part of Gil that thinks group therapy might be beneficial for Malcolm’s mental health? I mean it was only ever going to be terrible or amazing. Nothing in between.

13:12 - “They hate you don’t they?” GIL BRINGING THE FIRE. hahahaha angry Gil is really funny.

13:43 - OH HELL YES. More Hector. <3

13:46 - hahaha YES. Hector this is Malcolm - the son. You know, the one you had to role-play? hahaha I feel like Hector is a really cool dude (aside from the murder).

13:53 - Damn. Hector pays attention in group. He has a lot of info about Malcolm. I would’ve thought the other inmates would just tune Martin out when he starts his monologues.

13:59 - “He’s got a thing with hands?” hahahaha OMG. How did I never connect the hand thing. DOES Malcolm have a thing with hands? ....I kind of want that to be cannon?

14:00 - “You’re crazier than me.” Ouch. That must’ve hurt. Think about it - Malcolm is ridden with guilt about Endicott. He’s haunted by what he experienced as a kid and by what his father is. Malcolm believes he’s broken beyond repair. On some level Malcolm thinks he’s crazy. Now a literal killer just told him he’s crazy. That just affirms what Malcolm already believes about himself. :( PLUS right after Hector tells Malcolm that he’s crazy - the camera pans to Martin. MARTIN looks scared. Martin is losing control of the situation and he doesn’t like it. Martin knows on some level that he ruined Malcolm’s mental health. He almost looks a little guilty?

14:31 - FINALLY. We have a cannon occurrence of someone calling Malcolm “Mal” (or “Malc” if you’re going by HULU’s subtitles?). I hope the writers start having people call Malcolm by Mal/Malc more often.

14:35 - I can’t ignore it anymore. DID HECTOR HAVE THAT SCAR ON HIS FACE LAST SEASON?!? I DON’T REMEMBER IT.

14:38 - YES YES. Malcolm looks angry. I LOVE IT. Scream at him Malcolm! Give him hell!

15:03 - Yikes. Malcolm sounds like he’s about to cry here. :( My heart breaks for him. .....I wonder if this is the first time Martin has ever heard how much pain he caused Malcolm straight from Malcolm? Martin looks hella uncomfortable here.

15:25 - The inmates (literal murderers) empathizing with Malcolm is twisted, beautiful, and haunting. These guys understand how much it sucks to hang out with Martin. These guys can see the real pain in Malcolm’s expression. They know he isn’t lying. Part of me honestly wonders if one of them is going to try and hurt Martin for Malcolm. They looked pissed enough by the end of the conversation that I kind of believe they might.

16:00 - Malcolm is not acting here. For once he’s not projecting his problems onto potential suspects. He’s just venting to suspects. No pretence. I love it. BUT 100% of me wants to know where Gil is during this session. Is Gil listening? Is the session being recorded for evidence? There’s no way Gil (or Dani) wouldn’t confront Malcolm about this. Even if they just asked him if he’s okay.

16:10 - hahahaha look at Doctor Marsh. He’s like “ooookkkkkaaaayyyy. I’m a psychiatrist in a psychiatric facility for people who have committed violent crimes. BUT THIS IS THE NUTTIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.”

16:12 - Look at the way Martin narrows his eyes. He’s trying to figure out if Malcolm is acting. He’s finally realizing that Malcolm truly hates what Martin subjected him to as a child. I honestly think this interaction will cause Martin to shift his “become a murderer like me” agenda from Malcolm to Ainsley. He’s finally seen the depth of Malcolm’s hatred and pain and knows deep down that Malcolm will never turn into a serial killer. But there’s still hope for Ainsley. That’s not to say that Martin won’t stop gaslighting Malcolm - he totally will.

17:10 - Martin has been at Claremont for 20 YEARS. How is it that he didn’t know a gold card existed?!?

17:21 - I honestly thought Marsh was going to get shanked. For the gold card. No other reason.

18:07 - It’s not supposed to be funny but Burt freaking out and punching Marsh is HYSTERICAL. hahahahaha

18:10 - That guard who pushed Malcolm out of the room and into a safe area? He’s in my good books. Every time I watch him push Malcolm to safety I want to give him a hug. Just for doing his job. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

18:18 - UGH. I hate that creepy, satisfied look that Martin gives Malcolm. It’s the same look he gave baby Malcolm in the pilot. It’s the “we’re the same” look and it clearly bothers Malcolm. :(

18:26 - Oh look. 18 minutes into the episode and we finally have a Dani appearance!! annnnnnd no mention of JT. I mean, I get it. He’s on paternity leave. I’m happy for him. BUT TWO EPISODES WITHOUT A JT APPEARANCE IS TORTURE. At least give me a throw away line about how happy JT is or about the baby!?? Honestly - it’s my biggest gripe with this episode.

18:56 - soooo either Dr. Marsh is a terrible psychiatrist OR you can’t “cure” murderers.

19:08 - The NYPD knows that Martin cured Jerry?!? HOW? Did Mr. David get Martin to admit to shocking him? Did Mr. David tell the police?!? I don’t remember Martin telling Malcolm. I specifically remember Malcolm saying, “I don’t want to know”

20:02 - Damn. I want Ainsley to go dark so badly. I want to see how badly it would destroy Malcolm and Jessica. I am evil.

20:52 - Malcolm’s burgundy jacket is gorgeous. That is all.

21:10 - Malcolm knows that Martin wants to escape. This is good. I love this.

21:55 - THERE’S A WOMENS WARD?!? REVOLUTIONARY INFORMATION. I THOUGHT THEY HAD A SEPARATE HOSPITAL.

22:00 - Oh wow. Finally - a perk to gender inequality.

22:52 - This Brightwell scene is so cute. I love watching Malcolm be excited about solving the crime. I love watching Dani gently tease him about how weird he is. I love watching them subtly flirt. Is Malcolm ready for another relationship - hell no. Do I think Dani has forgiven him - not totally. If they got together now it would end badly. But I do want them to be endgame.

23:11 - Andre is really suspicious throughout this whole scene. I’m convinced that if Dani and Malcolm weren’t too busy flirting Andre would’ve become a suspect really fast.

23:15 - Why do people get released from psychiatric prisons?!? This is a genuine question. I would’ve thought that everyone in Claremont has committed some seriously heinous crimes and only a very small portion of them are actually sick. The rest of them just pleaded insanity and had good lawyers. But even if they are/were sick. I don’t think the types of mental illnesses that drive people to murder and/or rape is something that can be cured. Sooo why are they getting released? I guess I just wonder because there’s this guy that’s been in my local news on and off for like 10+ years. He’s molested/raped many young women between the ages of about 16-25. He’s been arrested and released multiple times. He keeps getting released to different major cities in my province (usually a city with a big University) and reoffends within 6 months of being released. Most recently he was arrested last month after being released in October 2020. Clearly he’s going to keep reoffending - so why does he keep getting released? I guess I just don’t understand what the criteria are that allow an inmate who has committed that sort of crime to be released. Here’s a link to one of the more recent news stories if you’re interested: https://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/police-warn-of-high-risk-sex-offender-moving-to-victoria-1.5149264

23:23 - hahaha Andre is like, “Yo. This dude is freaky.”

24:15 - Look at how proud Malcolm is of his whole “lobster = murderer” profile. <3 So freaking precious. <3 and Dani looks so amused with him. <3

24:37 - Sooooo Mr. David isn’t listening to this conversation? He left the room?

24:40 - Jessica going to Martin for parenting help is terrifying. This is a woman in crisis.

25:20 - But Jessica was right to be paranoid in 97′. She wasn’t being cheated on romantically but her husband was murdering people.

25:24 - Martin is so selling his kids out here. He knows it. He doesn’t care. He’s having too much fun torturing Jessica. He’s rejoicing at the fact that he gets to play the “I turned the kids to the dark side” card.

26:40 - Poor Jessica. She looks suspicious and scared. Scared that she raised a killer even though she tried desperately to prevent that very behaviour.

26:56 - Damn. Martin is having a really good day. First he gets to annoy Gil Arroyo in the flesh. Then Edrisa talks medical with him. Then he gets to work with Malcolm. THEN his ex-wife calls him and he gets to toy with her mind. THEN his daughter, who has literally murdered someone comes to visit him. He is a proud Dad right here and he’s having an amazing day.

28:00 - Rhonda is terrifying. This girl has perfected the “I’m sweet and unthreatening” while lying and manipulating people. I swear she’s a teenage Queen B personality with a side of violence.

28:30 - I love how protective Malcolm is of Ainsley. Look how positively livid he is that Marin is talking to her. Malcolm is terrified that Martin is going to purposefully and successfully turn Ainsley into a serial killer. Malcolm doesn’t want to lose his sister. He doesn’t want Jessica to lose her ‘stable’ child.

29:09 - This scares me. This is the kind of Ainsley behaviour from last season that made me believe she is the Whitly child most like Martin. Her ruthlessness and lack of a conscience when it comes to looking for a news story is extremely upsetting.

30:11 - What the hell happened to Tevin? AND WATKINS?!? We got no closure on those guys. Are they dead? In prison? Is Tevin still in Claremont? Were they transferred to facilities outside of New York State?

30:28 - Malcolm yelling at Martin is perfect. *chef’s kiss* Finally this boy is being honest with his father and he isn’t holding back.

30:40 - Michael Sheen is an incredible actor. This is an Emmy worthy scene. By Sheen AND Payne.

30:48 - I love how you can see Mr. David just chilling. Sitting outside the door and staring across the hall during this scene. It’s just....can’t he hear the screaming?!? Is he just like, “I can’t take anymore of this today. Not my circus and not my monkeys.”

30:55 - Soooooo this is Martin showing his true colours. There’s definitely a part of Martin that hates Malcolm. I honestly wonder if that part of Martin actively tries/tried to emotionally torture Malcolm now and throughout his childhood.

31:00 - “And your mother. And you ruined HeR!!!”....does this mean Martin was trying to make Ainsley a serial killer? Maybe after the camping trip when he realized Malcolm was too “weak” to kill anyone? Is this Martin saying that Ainsley is ruined because she didn’t become a serial killer? Or that Ainsley is ruined because she killed Endicott?

31:05 - “But that’s not me.” hahaha OMG. Michael Sheen just flipped between two personalities like nobody’s business. Respect.

31:08 - Martin’s outburst hurt Malcolm. Badly. You can see it all over his face. Even now, when Malcolm is being strong and showing some backbone to Martin, Martin can wound Malcolm with a single phrase. :(

31:41 - soooo where has Gil been for the past 10 minutes of this episode?

32:02 - Sooooo did Andre kill Jerry for Rhonda? Or did he just know about the murder and keep quiet for Rhonda? Or is his oblivious to the fact that Rhonda killed Jerry? I’m honestly confused here.

32:20 - Holy shit. Rhonda is crazy. Andre is dead now. Right?

32:48 - Wait. Why did Andre have a gold card? Mr. David only has red. What kind of qualifications does a guard need to get a gold card vs blue, green, or red?!?!

32:55 - Claremont isn’t a punishment for Martin. Solitary is. Martin should live in solitary. He deserves to suffer for his crimes (and the ongoing torture of his son).

33:05 - How messed up is it that Mr. David’s job is to protect a serial killer? I don’t think I’m brave enough to do something like that. I also don’t know if I could do that for moral reasons.

33:14 - Damn. That elevator looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since it was installed. It’s sooo much nastier than the hallway outside of the elevator.

33:50 - Sooo does this mean Martin is eventually going to try and murder someone down here?

33:54 - HE CALLED FOR BACKUP <3 <3 <3 OUR BOY IS GROWING UP AND I’M SO PROUD. <3

35:40 - FINALLY SOME MALCOLM WHUMP. <3 THIS SEASON HAS BEEN LACKING IT.

36:00 - This is really interesting to me. I honestly wonder if Martin has some sort of split personality disorder (personality #1: murderous, selfish, psychopath; personality #2: loving, concerned father and lawful doctor). You can see how desperately he wants to escape. But also how much he loves his son. I honestly thought he was going to leave Malcolm to die.

36:06 - Ugh. Look at his whumped face. <3 <3 <3 ....one thing that I couldn’t stop thinking during all the tazing (which was amazing FYI, I’m not complaining) is this: in QxA (1x07) Mr. David says that he only has a single shot tazer. Why did Andre have a multi-shot tazer? Is this a gold card vs red card thing?

36:40 - WHY THE EFF DOES BACKUP NOT INCLUDE GIL?!?! I KNOW HE’S STILL IN THE BUILDING.

37:03 - MARTIN, IF YOU TOUCH A HAIR ON DANI’S HEAD I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU MYSELF. He honestly looks like he wants to murder her.

37:50 - Martin’s speech is not going to help Malcolm’s mental state. At all.

38:31 - No. No. No. Martin you do NOT get to talk to Dani on a first name basis. Look at how much Dani hates it.

38:35 - I love how soft Malcolm looks as Martin lifts him up. Look at how Malcolm gently leans into the touch. It breaks my heart. After 20 years Malcolm is still comforted by physical contact with his father. :(

38:37 - “Put your hands on me again Dr. Whitly, and I’ll blow your head off.” OH HELL YES. Dani is my hero. Iconic. Also - anyone else notice that Dani is chewing gum in this scene (I don’t think she’s chewed gum on camera since the pilot?) it makes her look like so much more of a badass in this scene.

38:55 - Oh look. The rest of the backup finally showed up. Where were these assholes 5 minutes ago when DANI WAS ALONE? AND WHERE IS GIL?!?!

39:00 - Malcolm thanking Dani is so so precious. And the fact that he’s clearly struggling to breathe and stay conscious is giving me life. ALSO Dani saying, “YOU’re welcome.”?!? *chef’s kiss* :) :) <3

39:30 - So Malcolm definitely knows that Martin almost left him to die so that Martin could escape.

39:33 - ......Ainsley is currently living with Jessica. Why is Ainsley not at the family dinner? We literally see her in the house in like 30 seconds.

39:35 - Malcolm in a polo shirt. Malcolm in a polo shirt. Why is it so attractive?!? He looks like a baby cinnamon roll? <3

39:51 - WHO THE EFF LET AINSLEY INTO THE MURDER BASEMENT?!? WHY AM I EXPECTED TO BELIEVE THAT JESSICA DIDN’T RE-SEAL IT AFTER WATKINS?!?!

40:15 - Jessica desperately tearing apart the living room is heartbreaking. :(

40:29 - Question: Did Jessica send her staff home before she tore apart the living room? Because I can just imagine two of them staring into the living room from the hall like, “She’s finally snapped. Should we call someone?”

41:00 - Jessica is the queen of drama. HOLY SHIT. This reveal was so extra and so perfect.

41:13 - “I killed him.” “You’re lying.” I love this interaction between Jessica and Malcolm. Malcolm has spent his whole life trying to convince people that he’s not a murderer. To protect Ainsley, his baby sister, he will say the words “I killed him”. Even though that is literally killing a part of Malcolm. Jessica knows it. I love that Jessica can see that Malcolm is lying. She’s not trying to convince herself that he’s innocent. She literally just accused him of murder. She’s scared. Because Malcolm just admitted to killing someone - his biggest fear - and it was a lie.

41:35 - Watching Bellamy Young’s facial expression as Jessica realizes that Ainsley killed Endicott is a thing of beauty. This woman needs an Emmy too. HELL, CAN WE GIVE THIS WHOLE EPISODE AN EMMY?!?!

42:00 - Poor Jessica. The guilt she must feel. She’s always thought that Malcolm was the one at risk of being a murderer. He’s a boy (they’re statistically more prone to violence than girls), he was older than Ainsley, he remembers terrible things, Malcolm had continued exposure to Martin throughout his childhood (Ainsley didn’t - I think?). But the child she neglected, the child she thought was safe, the child she thought remained free of Martin’s evil killed someone. It’s a plot-twist that just ripped Jessica’s heart into a million pieces.

42:30 - Yep. I promise you Malcolm has been psychoanalyzing Ainsley’s past behaviours since the moment she killed Endicott. He’s found traits common to serial killers and he’s terrified that she’ll become one if she remembers what it felt like to kill Endicott. He’s probably kicking himself for not noticing sooner. He’s probably questioning his ability as a profiler and as a big brother. AND the fact that MALCOLM has to protect Jessica AND Ainsley is heartbreaking. It’s way too big a burden. No wonder Malcolm’s mental health is on a downward spiral.

42:33 - This is the moment Jessica begins grieving for Ainsley. The fear, disbelief, and horror on her face. It’s torture that I can only describe as someone telling a mother that her daughter is dead. Because Ainsley is dead. The person Jessica believed Ainsley was - that little girl is dead. Because Jess just found out the truth.

42:55 - Jessica is now terrified of her own daughter. That is maybe the most upsetting thing this show has given us.

43:00 - I saw an interesting theory about how Ainsley is regressing back to her childhood (crawling into bed with Mom, moving back in with Mom) and I must say - that would be a really interesting way for this story to go. Ainsley regressing to a child-like state as she is convicted of murder. As a result she ends up in the women’s ward of Claremont because she can plead insanity.

This episode was amazing. Seriously, one of the best Prodigal Son episodes to date. Definitely the best of season 2 so far. If you’ve read this far - thanks for hanging out.

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kaypeace21 · 4 years

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i'm losing hope of byler being an endgame :( milevens say that we are invalidating mileven, besides having several scenes that they show "passion/love". they make fun of us, besides always giving reasons why mileven is an endgame, and disrespecting other people's ship, and maybe actually Will will be with another boy right?? idk but I really hope I'm not being deluded

lol lets not focus on byler for a sec and mostly discuss mileven. what scenes show mileven’s ‘passion/love’? Because the show invalidates mileven constantly-why they’re so aggressive/afraid of us.THEY KNOW IT’S DOOMED (they live in head canons and nothing else). I’m going to try keeping this short by doing bullet points.

-The writers in s3 threw in a telemarketing joke just for Mike to say “El. no. sorry not interested” and hang up the phone.

- Flo in s1: “only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid.”

Mike: “if we’re both going crazy. we’ll go crazy together right?”will: “yeah, crazy together “ *smile and stare longingly at eachother *————————————————————-Mike: “they do say it makes you crazy”El: “what makes you crazy?”(the exact opposite of crazy together as she continues to be confused over every explanation he gives of love 😂)————————————————————-During the byler fight Mike says “el’s not stupid!” After this, Will calls himself “ so stupid “ 4x . rips up photo where they said they’d go crazy together and cries . But, El after fighting with mike happily says: “there’s more to life than STUPID boys .” El’s catchphrase being “not stupid” which she says in s2 before going to see Mike at the school. And Nancy before Mike says he loves El / Mikeduring the byler fight (about mileven) say “El’s not stupid!”

original gifs sources

-the s3 stobin confession parallels mileven’s s3 shop confession (full analysis in link). Both El/Robin have bandages on their legs and both pairings sit together (on the floor) during their confessions- and are interrupted by Dustin. And in both straight baits- the guys use the terms “stupid/crazy” but subvert the expectation of it being romantic-as both girls say they’re not “crazy” or “stupid” for the guy. El saying “what makes you crazy?” in response to Mike. And Robin saying she was not into Steve’s “stupid hair” (similar to El saying there’s more to life than ‘stupid boys’/other saying she’s not stupid.”Also the song ‘the first i love you’ only plays twice in s3. During Steve’s romantic confession and robin rejecting him because she’s gay & El’s romantic confession and awkward kiss with mike (where Mike doesn’t reciprocate). Cause Robin/Mike are both gay and will reject the romantic confession.

- Erica making he-man and barbie kiss: “Hey , They’re in love!”Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow forcing them apart): “No, actually, they’re not. they’re not even from the same planet.” El even watches he-man in s1! Mileven is not in love!

Cue El and mike being compared to ET and Eliot -WHO AREN’T FROM THE SAME PLANET (by the Duffers in multiple interviews and in the pilot script ) . And then there’s the old euphemism of “girls come from Venus, and boys come from Mars”. The Duffers saying mileven isn’t in love cause they’re not from the same planet (aka the same gender) -is just them telling us Mike is gay so he can’t fall for El-who is a girl/diff species. They literally have Will say to Mike “welcome to my world” as a contrast. So El telling mike he should ‘stick with his own species’ (aka boys) is another gay hint.

In s2 they even had El wear the same shirt as a 1986 movie character (staring Winona Ryder). The movie is called coincidentally “lucas”- and he’s in an unrequited romantic relationship with a gal named maggie. And he later says him and Maggie are from “different worlds.” El being movie-Lucas in a unrequited romance, in this scenario. And the other easteregg is the Duffers have st-Lucas say the “planet/worlds” similar to movie-Lucas.

some milevens also attribute romeo/juliet to mileven cause Dustin mentioned it while mileven was out of shot. But romeo & juliet weren’t actually in love-it was just kids in infatuation. And also used to describe the unrequited infatuation of Lucas/Maggie.

-Also when dustin in s1 says el is “like a wizard” (like Will.) Mike corrects dustin and says “more like yoda”. Really hammering down the alien references- which the Duffers reference to el in interviews all the time-by comparing her to et . In the pilot they even said mike and el are like “Eliot and et.” They said they made el dress like a ghost cause et did so- and then for the extra burn they made mike a ghost hunter/buster. And they also said that EL’s makeover in s1 was like et’s in the movie. And sorry ... who compares the girl they “crush on” with a green gross alien (yoda)- kind of shows how he sees her more as this foreign superpowered entity rather than a girl/crush. And on what planet is et /Eliot romantic??Answer is -it’s not.

- In contrast, They have Mike and Will parallel Diane and Venkman. In ghost Busters, Mike -is Venkman- and Will -is Dana Barret- who Venkman flirts with shamelessly until she is possessed. Dana finds a demon-dog in her fridge, and hires the ghost busters. And right before Venkman goes on a date with her she is possessed by the big-bad, Zuul, and is transformed into the gate-keeper (who controls demo(n)-dogs). Venkman proceeded to try to talk to the real Dana , ignoring her possessed form and eventually realizes how serious her condition is, is forced to sedate her. Eventually with the help of his team, Venkman closes the gate to Zuul’s dimension, rescuing Dana in the process. And Venkman plants one on Dana before riding away in triumph. While, El is a ghost and Mike is a ghost hunter XD

Notice in the same season lucas says mileven is ‘not in love’ and compares mileven to he-man and barbie . Dustin has a he-man & Et next to each other (along with a ghost buster sign above them, and the ghostbusters-trap next to et). This just reinforces the mileven eastereggs I’ve already talked about - and how they want you to make the connections about mileven not being in love. They showed et/barbie next to he-man, had El watch he-man, compared El to Et (who had a barbie-like makeover/ghost costume), so the next he-man ref of ‘not being in love’ cause rhey’re from different planets would connect in a more obvious way to mileven. Same with Et next to the ghost trap and ghost busters sign (and El dressing as a ghost and Mike as a ghost buster-as an extra burn).

- Mike dehumanizing El is hammered down again when they compare s1 mileven to s2 dart /dustin (a demo dog) , to further show how un-romantic it is. Fin even said the duffers told him Mike saw el (OFFENSIVELY) as a “puppy’ (right after s1). And of course millie accurately said “what a horrible way to describe me!”But the parallels are there: Dustin/Mike sharing sweets ( nougat vs eggos) for breakfast and saying they’ll have to wait for them to come home from school. And having mike annoyed, say “a bond? cause you shared nougat?!” is dissing milevens who think the ego thing is cute/romantic. Dustin/Mike saying they ‘promised’ to take care of them and that they ‘trust’ dustin & mike. Dart killing a cat and El almost killing a cat. Dustin/Mike trying to convince Lucas- Dart & El aren’t bad. The boys thinking both El & Dart were bad guys causing both to end up running away because of that. Mike even admits in s1 he doesn’t like eggos and told El she doesn’t have to eat “like a dog” anymore. it’s ironic when Mike says to Dustin “she’s not a dog” cause he treated her as such. Why El says in s3 angrily , “am I your pet?” It’s because he did/does unfortunately treat her this way to some degree.

-They Parallel Mileven to Hopper & El (since mileven isn’t actually romantic)!

*teaching the meaning of promise vs com-promise. And making “promises” to eachother is not some super romantic thing- for just mileven.

* Telling her to eat “real food” vs eggos

* saying her new look is “cool”and saying it’s “bitchin” after El says the look is.

* Saying others are “corrupting her” and in response gals say neither respect her ability to make “decisions” in regards to romance. Hopper not accepting Mileven together (want them to break up) and Mike not accepting she dumped him.

* Max saying to not let Hopper/Mike control her

*El saying “you lie” to both of them

ok , back to listing other points

- they dance to ‘every breath you take’ a break up song about a stalker ex who can’t accept he is now with her friend. The writer of the song also has said many times “it’s NOT a love song.” The duffers obviously knew that. Lumax also danced to it and Lucas was called a ‘stalker’ . El also stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike says he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 he said not to do that and she just says ‘i make my own rules’.Plus, sting (the singer) mentions it’s supposed to sound romantic but the lyrics are sinister. And that the ambiguity/deceptive happy -romantic tone was intentional. Kind of like how people think mileven is healthy and in love when the show (ambiguosly says ) that it’s not -and the “opposite”.Just like the song being misinterpreted as romantic because of its deceptive packaging -mileven is the same . Mileven got popular cause everyone missed all the warning signs it wasn’t healthy (cause it was packaged as ‘cute’ and ‘ in love’) when behind the surface it was shown to be the opposite and not healthy.

Not to mention Nancy teaching Dustin how to dance is a direct parallel to Mike teaching El.

Mike also tries to act like Dustin, and forces Will to dance with a girl (who’s wearing a rainbow hair clip). Trying to be a good sport like Dustin is about lumax. And right after this we see Dustin look sad about Max/Lucas dancing and Mike (next to Dustin) look sadly at Will/girl dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these 2 shots to emphasize their sadness/jealousy.Then they both sit down (mirroring each other) on the verge of tears before Nancy and El show up to comfort them and distract them. As El once again (presumably) wears Nancy’s dress. Mike after El asks “will you be my brother?” “you cant go (to the snowball) with your sister... i mean you can but it’d be really weird.”

- before their first kiss in s1 she asked if he would be like her brother (after being compared to a cousin, and being compared to Holly, and wearing Nancy’s dress.) In s2 they even make a direct parallel to Luke &Leia (who were siblings who had a weird romantic relationship/kissed before realizing they were related). Mike (as Leia) saying “it’s a trap” to El (Luke).

- Mike in s1 writes a d&d story for Will inspired by star wars. in ep one Will tells Mike “it was a 7, the demogorgan it got me.”At the end of the season Mike writes a whole story of him and his friends killing a 7 headed monster, and showing the decapitated head of the monster to king Tristan (Will). Similar to how at the hospital he tells Will to not worry cause “it’s dead now”. This is right after Will rolls a 14 (cause Mike and Will are 7s together). And Mike who is a fan of starwars has King Tristan give them medals after killing the monster. Cause he wants Will/king tristan (instead of Leia -a girl) to present him with medals and be his romantic love interest (and praise him for being a hero).

- They had Dustin call mileven “bullshit” just like stancy (who were never in love). And in s3 for almost every single character in the show to dislike mileven . if that isn’t a cry for help from the writers idk what is XD

other stancy parallels: Making out on a bed to cheesy music. stancy wasn’t in love but they kissed the most in the series and nancy and steve (similar to mileven exchanged ‘i love yous’) but weren’t endgame and it was never love. Mike and Steve sing to their gfs and neither girls are fans and cut them off.In s1, both Nancy/Mike slap Steve and El and then both yell “ What is wrong with you?!” Stancy/mileven are compared to Karen/ted who according to Nancy “never loved each other”. El is a fan of ted’s lazy boy. (Karen in s3 looks at Ted in the chair when the lyric “I should have walked away “ plays). And Steve and ted continuing to eat chicken as their gf /wife storm off from the table upset , and they do nothing. After the mileven and Karen/Ted fight- Steve says while eating “what did I do?what did i do?” And mike while eating says about el after their fight “what did i do wrong? what did i do wrong?!Steve and Ted both tell Mike to “stay on the bench/you’re on the bench.” Karen/ ted that they “never loved each other” (just like mileven and stancy which are “bullshit.”) All 3 wheelers were with people cause it seemed like the rational choice ( rich guy/ popular guy/ girl). Not to mention mike said “ I don’t remember” ( in reference to saying he loved el ) . And doesn’t say it back when el says “I love you”. Which mimics Nancy in s2 saying “I don’t remember ” (saying the stancy relationship is bs) . And she is also unable to say she loves Steve when he says“say you love me.” And Steve and el walking away as both wheelers stand there in silence. Unable to say “I love you” back. Also, when stancy officially breakup it also pans to mileven on the porch as another parallel.And 11byers mentioned (at Christmas) jancy has a moment but despite stancy’s issues she goes back to Steve where she looks sad over the decision . Similar to how Byler have a moment , but then after , mileven talks about christmas and they have that awkward kiss. In s3, steve when talking about stancy and trying to be popular even says “dustin’s right it’s all a bunch of bullshit.” (meaning Dustin’s right about mileven). Steve even says “everything people tell you is important that you’re supposed to care about- it’s bullshit.” (same season Mike mimics Lucas’ words from s1 about El being the “most important thing”.

-They also had Mike tell Max “i don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.” Aka he can’t hate Max or love el cause he knew both for a week-and doesn’t know them. The amount of mileven burns that were in s2 -were insane XD.

other direct contrasts between Mileven & byler

besides the ones already mentioned. 1) ‘crazy together/so stupid’ vs ‘what makes you crazy?/el’s not stupid/more to life than stupid boys & 2) ‘they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet’ vs byler’s ‘welcome to my world’

3) Mike has drastically different expressions after the byler/mileven fights and the difference in weather and music selection ,convey how Mike is feeling. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him. Mileven breaks up to upbeat music on a sunny day (the break up being in front a crowd and a joke) vs the morose music and the storm shown (with just Mike and Will fighting ). We are supposed to take the byler fight seriously and the mileven one as a joke.They had Mike apologize to Will immediately. But with El he says “what did i do wrong?’ (Kind of like how ted, after pissing off karen says “what did I do?”)And then had Mike wait by the phone for her to apologize- says sexist stuff about her. Then have mike laugh/burp and talk about cheese and El to laugh about the break up/high five max and immediately oggle a pic of another boy/male celeb (unlike Will who looks sadly at the pic of Mike after their fight). And then after staring at the teen-male celeb, El says she’s not sure if Mike’s a good kisser cause he’s just her “first boyfriend” and she has no other boys to compare him to (implying she’s thinking of other boys in the future). Contrasted to Will who said he thought him & Mike would never get gfs but just spend the rest of their lives together. El after all these events, then happily reads comics as Max says she shouldn’t hang out with Mike all the time. VS Will having him sadly read his comic to distract himself only to throw his comic on the ground right before he looks at the pic of mike from Halloween (where they said they would go ‘crazy together’), calls himself stupid (unlike El saying there’s more to life than stupid boys/mike saying El is not stupid-aka in love ). And then destroys castle byers /crIES after the their fight. These events were perfect opposites.

4) When Mike says in the pool shed she’s the “most important thing in the world” to him. she cuts him off and says Hopper is right about them spending too much time together. But when Mike in the shed says asking Will to be his friend was the “best thing he’s ever done” (it was practically the cliche of true love breaking the curse) XD.

When Mike says to El “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition (and the scene was incredibly short).And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ what if he’s right” . I didn’t speed this up FYI.

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler shed scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). With contrasting colors of light and shadow.This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.*

5) Max in s2 at Will’s house questions how Mike can still trust Will now that he’s a spy for the mf . Max (in s3) at El’s house: says that Mike doesn’t trust El- and Mike mentions that her spying is why he doesn’t trust her. in s2, Mike: “if anyone could stop them it’s Will“. Max: “ I thought we couldn’t trust him that he’s a spy for the mf now?” Max in s3 calling Mike out : “El has saved the world twice. And Mike still doesn’t trust her.” Mike: you want to talk about trust really?! after... Eleven spied on us! I guess girlfriends don’t lie they SPY!”

Not to mention - the fact is... El has “saved the world twice but Mike still doesn’t trust her” to fight the mf. Yet he 100% believed Will could defeat the mf -despite Will being possessed/a spy for the mf . And despite the fact Mike thinks Will has no powers - unlike El ( but we all know he does , though :P). And, Mike even says Billy is dangerous cause the “mf is in him ...Billy’s mind is sick, diseased” (but with Will possession -Mike still trusted him). Max rolls her eyes and stares challengingly at Mike cause she remembers what Mike said about Will in s2- and the hypocrisy . And she finds it annoying how little faith he has in her compared to his almost unmoving-trust in Will (who at the time was possessed) . Mike has 100% trust and faith in Will-but simply doesn’t trust El. And MAX KNOWS IT! Cause she’s paying attention. Like her facial expression/raised brow, at the end, is a challenge- you think non-superpowered Will could defeat the mf but not El with a history of fighting monsters? You say Billy possessed by the mf is dangerous- but still have more faith in Will possessed by the mf- than your own gf?! tbh El couldn’t defeat the mf (so technically him trusting Will over El was proven to be correct). He wasn’t right about the El ‘giving up’ bs and he was still wrong for not respecting El as her “own person” with her “own free will” : not believing in El’s ability to make decisions like breaking up with him/ not believing El made the idea to spy on him, etc . But, Team work has always been what saved the day in s1-2, so over-relying on El to do it all and acting like she was the messiah ( like most of the st fanbase) was a poor plan . It’s not the El-show (it’s an ensemble cast with several mains). When they relied on her only ,to be the chosen one- she lost her powers, 30+ people d*ed, and they had to save her.

6) ) El and Will both calling for “Mike” alone in the upside down . And Mike “never giving up” on them.In the exact same ep (s2 e2) , both call for Mike from the upside down. El saves herself without Mike’s help. But Mike rushes to save Will crouching to comfort Will (whose body language mirrors El’s but who was alone in the forest after she sees mike and he did nothing).

in s2 ep 1, both call for Mike ,but Mike only comes for Will -not el. It was like how Nancy in s1 called for Jon, and jonathan pulled her out of the upsidedown. And as Jonathan and Mike both pull Nancy and Will back from the upside down , Jonathan says “I got you”. And Mike says “I got him “ twice. But mileven is like how barb while in the upsidedown called for Nancy (but nancy didn’t hear her screaming her name-cause it shows symbolically Nancy does not return Barb’s romantic feelings). Just like mileven.

Mike even saw Will’s dead body but the second he heard his voice he convinced everyone he was alive. Mike deep down assumed El was dead he brushed off seeing El as seeing things (like how Hopper described seeing Sarah). He even tells Max “ they took her just like they took bob” who was dead. Then a few minutes later lies and says he “never gave up” on her when she appears alive (which was a lie cause he just said she was dead). When El goes to his house Mike doesn’t ever go the forest to find her (unlike how Mike went into the forest in the pouring rain twice for Will). The truth is the only person he ‘never gave up on’ was Will.

7) They have El & Will have pics of Mike on Halloween (same night of the ‘crazy together’ speech). El only has a pic of Mike being miserable and Will has pics of Mike staring at Will, and smiling next to him- despite the joke Mike never smiles in photos , this isn’t the case when mike is next to Will (he always smiles with Will). Cause being crazy with Will makes him happy - unlike his relationship with El who he fakes being ‘crazy’ about .

zoom in of Will & El’s pics of Mike: Will’s pic on left vs El’s on right . XD

8) Millie said El is “obsessed with Mike” so she has Mike-themed stuff all over her room. She has a drawing with a heart that says mike on it/random heart pics, mike pic, dice that spell out mike, mikes’ stuff. So, It’s funny that mike has nothing relating to El at his place. In contrast to this, he still has 5 d&d drawings from Will on his wall (that he’s kept on his wall for 3 years despite removing an old poster from that same wall-which he gave to El). Mike even put up a 6th Will-drawing in s3- next to his new poster. And he never put a single 1 of her many drawings on his wall-just Will’s).

back to other points...

- They compared mileven to karen/billy. El in s2 , mimics Erica Kane who m(in the ep she is watching) rushes into a relationship with a writer named Mike Roy. (That relationship is not endgame-and literally ends with one of them stalking and sabotaging their next relationship, but eventually accepting it’s over). This, also parallels Karen/ Billy. Before she meets him in s2, Karen is reading a romance book that has a guy that resembles Billy on the cover. The Duffers even mentioned they changed the cover to show the resemblance between Billy and the fictional book character. And we see Karen reading the sequel in s3 before Billy appears. Both El and Karen don’t/didn’t love Mike or Billy- they just projected onto them fictional characters they were infatuated with. El being into Mike roy- but projecting her crush on to Mike wheeler.

-They had El’s whole s2 arc be destroyed to show mileven is bad for her. “friends don’t lie” to let me lie to my friends so I can kiss mike and ditch them. lucas even said “they’re lying (about her curfew).”And lie to Mike about hearing his confession. Then in s2 trying to leave the cabin to experience the world and see my friends and fam again. To literally ignoring them all for 6 months and never leaving the cabin-despite Hopper letting me leave the house in s3.

- El in s3 says Mike treats her “like a pet” and “garbage”.

-In s1 Mike referred to her as a ‘weapon’ to help get Will back. smacked her when he thought she lied about Will being alive and said Lucas was right about her all along when he thought Will was dead and he couldn’t use her anymore.

- They had El never apologize for spying/stalking . And Mike never apologize for lying -despite it being the cause of the breakup . And had mike not reciprocate the kiss/ or say ‘i love you ‘ back and had his eyes open while the same exact song plays that robin came out to: called ‘the first i love you’). These are the only 2 times the song plays in s3. The ‘first i love you’ also sounds like ‘the first lie’ - that song played when jancy said they were just friends. it sounds the same cause jancy lied about it not being romantic while mileven lied by saying it was. He never apologized for lying cause the love is the lie- like Max said “boyfriends lie ALL THE TIME”. And it’s why the camera panned to Will when Lucas asked why Mike lied to her. And he never answers El’s question of ‘why do you lie?!’ (he just looks up silent and guilt ridden).This awkward kiss all happens in Will’s room too while Mike is in front of an open closet (while El is holding Will’s old bear).

Plus he also fought with Hopper in s2 (’about El’) in Will’s room too. He wasn’t actually calling Hopper the liar he was calling himself “a stupid disgusting liar”out of self hate . That scene was foreshadowing his lying to El in s3 (about his feelings for her). He blamed Hopper for his feelings for Will cause he told himself it wouldn’t have escalated if El had been around to ‘fix him’ . “I BLAME YOU! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK. YOU STUPID DISGUSTING liar, liar, liar, liar”.starts crying.

- Mike says “i never gave up on you (to El). “ When moments earlier he says “it took her just like it took Bob.” HE’S LYING AGAIN. He always thought she was dead -he was just hoping she was alive so he didn’t have to blame himself. He felt bad for treating her like a “weapon”. Mike saw El and didn’t even bother looking for her in the woods cause he assumed she was dead and was hallucinating. Mike saw Will’s dead body- but heard his voice and got him from another dimension (for El he couldn’t even bother to walk into the woods). Despite going into the woods in the pouring rain 2x for Will in s1& 3. El and Mike both call for Mike in the upside down (Mike in the same ep only comes for Will).

- They barely spoke to each other and all they did was makeout for 1 ep (while Mike put a drawing of ‘Will (the fire wielding) wise’ on the wall to help him kiss her/ with rainbows pic everywhere in the room to signify he’s gay and lying). All while listening to a mixtape Will gave him as he kisses El.As Mike moves her hands off him (and sings a song from ‘boy in the box’) and El says to Max later she doesn’t know if mike’s a good kisser . And Mike rushes to one of his many established double-dates with Will and lumax (x). And Mike in s3 when dating el, removes the sign of the heart being propelled by a rainbow (which he had before meeting El in his basement) .BUT it follows him symbolically ,as a drawing of a heart being propelled by a rainbow (in el’s room- cause no matter how much he kisses el there, he can’t escape his rainbow/being gay.)

-as mileven kiss in s3 e1. We zoom in on the drawing of Will the wise (the lyrics over the pic are “a little more time can open closing doors”). And then Mike continues to sing this song from ‘boy in the box’ (cough closet).Will in s3e1 says he won’t fall in love and the song then a diff song plays “love that was new to you , you open up the door.” mileven at the end of s3 kissing in front of Will’s open closet door with Mike’s eyes open not kissing back , and saying he doesn’t “ remember “ the love you and just says it was “in the heat of the moment”. The mike song being from “boy in the box” (closet). And they make out to “I can’t fight this feeling” which the singer says is about wanting to admit your feelings to your friend of many years and being afraid it’ll ruin the relationship. Aka even when kissing El he’s thinking of Will and admitting his feelings and not being able to fight his feelings

- Mike saying about Max “awesome? you don’t even know her.” Dustin says “ i don’t have to i mean look at her.” El was said in s1 multiple times to look like a boy (specifically Will). So Dustin and Lucas had no interest in her -only Mike did. BUT when max (a girl who looked like a girl) arrived- they as straight boys were smitten. And Mike was not interested at all (cause he’s gay). The fact people don’t realize Mike was rude to her because he thought Will liked her too makes me laugh - he even was 1/2 honest in s3 saying he was jealous of her XD

why in s3 (when she looks like a girl) the compliment to her look is almost the same as Hopper’s comment to her makeover in s2. Paralleling Mike to her dad is the opposite of romantic!

-people say in s3 Will saying “a day free of girls” is gay coded but everyone ignores Mike in s3 saying “BOYS ONLY”. Same energy.

-MiKE has more rainbows than Will: Mike’s rainbow bedroom blinds, the rainbow-heart wooden sign in the basement in s1, the rainbow heart drawing that says Mike in s3, a rainbow sticker in his room, byler standing behind a rainbow poster in s2. And Will with the rainbow ship and the girl he danced with having a rainbow hearts-hairclip.

- People mention Mike saving El in s3 was romantic ( when he hit Billy). But when Billy slapped max he charged in to save her too and tried punching him (despite their beef). that moment wasn’t romantic (unless you think madweheeler is- which no). Mike is just a good person- he also risked his life for dustin. He’s brave and will defend HIS FRIENDS.

- we’re almost to the end for those not keeping tract mileven is compared to stancy, ted/karen, karen/billy, stobin, Dart/Dustin, max &mike, barb/nancy, nancy & dustin, siblings & cousins & a parent/kid dynamic. And contrasted to byler.

- Finn, after s1, said the duffers told him, Mike thinks of her as a “puppy/ “et” , and that Mileven was a “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing what was mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x. Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said, rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.

-It wasn’t a break it was a breakup. Like Max and Will said in response to Mike “ she said she dumped your ass! That doesn’t sound like a break?!/ it wasn’t!’ Or El knocking all the candy out of the machine, except the kit kat Mike wanted. Slogan of kit-kat “ having a break , have a kit kat.” In other words, it was NOT a break. It was a breakup. Difference is - in s4 it’ll be El who can’t accept this fact , not Mike. Max having to correct El that Mike is her “ex boyfriend” after the breakup (in s3) foreshadows this.The other couples in s3 who fought -were always still paired together in framed shots (jancy/ lumax) were on a break (but got back together- by the end of s3, not confident about their futures together, but they still have a distinction from mileven-based on such framing). That mileven didn’t get back together. El in s3 was always on her own and Mike was paired with Will (while the other couples were in frame).

this could go on and on honestly. there’s so much other stuff proving mileven is not going to be endgame. Not to mention all of Mike’s queer coding (x) XD

#byler #byeler #anti mileven

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cheri-translates · 4 years

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[CN] Company Upgrade Dates (Eng Translation)

🍒This post contains detailed spoilers for dates unreleased in English servers!🍒

I accidentally skipped the first set of Season 2 dates, the “Company Upgrade” Collection, thinking they were just Rumours & Secrets:

These dates are important as a starting point for future S2 dates! They are mostly in bullet-point form, but all plot points and important dialogue are covered ❤️

⚡️ Shaw’s Way Home Date (归路之约) ⚡️

MC arrives at Loveland City airport after a business trip and receives a text from Shaw stating that he’d be picking her up

(even though she didn’t give him any details of her flight)

He appears, in all his glory, on a skateboard

Shaw picks up her luggage and also shows genuine concern for her work and how tired she looks

MC: I can carry it myself.

As soon as I stretch out my hand, Shaw spins the luggage around in a circle so I can’t reach it.

Shaw: If you carry it yourself, I wouldn’t have any purpose for coming here.

DELICIOUS BANTER

MC: Oh right, why did you think of picking me up?

Shaw: It was along on the way. Or I did it on a whim. Whatever reason you like.

MC: ...

Even after a week of not seeing him, this brat’s words are still as annoying.

MORE DELICIOUS BANTER

MC: Don’t you have class in the afternoon today?

Shaw: There’s class, but I skipped it.

MC: It’s not good to skip classes.

Shaw: It isn’t good, so I informed the teacher beforehand.

MC: Eh? What did you say?

Shaw: I said that I hadn’t seen my girlfriend in a month, so I want to pick her up.

MC: What...!?

Hearing this, my heartbeat goes into a frenzy.

Shaw: You really believed me?

Shaw asks MC to cook him dinner as thanks for travelling the great distance to pick her up

They return home by subway, but it’s incredibly packed

Shaw pulls her to a corner

My back leans against the wall of the train carriage. Standing in front of me, Shaw places a hand on the wall beside me, separate me from the crowd.

MC: What are you doing?

Shaw: Can’t you see?

He lifts his other hand and places it onto the wall of the train carriage, encircling me with this pose, which is reminiscent of a hug. He creates an empty corner in the crowded train.

She falls asleep, and he holds onto her shoulders so she doesn’t sway

Shaw: Hey. We’re going to miss the stop. If you don’t wake up soon, I’ll have to carry you back.

MC: !!

After they leave the train:

MC: I didn’t think I’d actually fall asleep.

I turn and sneak a glance at Shaw’s side profile. He senses my gaze and meets my eyes.

Shaw: Not only that. You even drooled.

MC: N-no way...

I hurriedly look at his shoulders, but can’t see any traces of dampness. I let out a huge sigh of relief.

MC: Is it very fun to lie to me?

Shaw: It’s your fault for having such interesting reactions.

At home, Shaw wolfs down her cooking. It turns out he was busy and didn’t have lunch T^T

He even helps tidy and wash the dishes for her

Afterwards, she finds him in the balcony and asks what he has been busy with

Shaw brushes them off as “unimportant things”

MC suddenly says she wants to hear him play the bass

Shaw re-enters the house and brings out an erhu instead (since MC doesn’t have a bass)

Shaw makes the erhu play her name and a “you are stupid”

MC: Why are you scolding me?

I suddenly feel a little gloomy, but he continues playing a few notes. Even though my mind hasn’t figured it out yet, my heart beat speeds up.

Shaw: Do you understand?

Shaw puts down the musical instrument and crosses the handrail over to me.

The dim light from behind the curtains is reflected in his eyes, as though filled with unwavering momentum.

Shaw: You have a really slow reaction.

Accompanying his ridicule, what enters my ears is the rumble of thunder from the clear sky.

Shaw straightens up, and his corners of his mouth hook upwards.

Shaw: It’s going to rain.

Shaw’s Call: here

🌻 Kiro’s Show Date (戏中之约) 🌻

This date basically shows how MC and Kiro share a very light-hearted relationship, where he likes teasing her

MC is at the scene of Kiro’s filming location, and comments on how realistic the effects are

Kiro is filming a gunfight, and the atmosphere is very tense

The famous Kiro Pointing A Gun At Himself™ scene occurs as part of the filming

Kiro: Since we can only pick between one of us, take my life, and you’ll be safe. It’s nothing worth being surprised over. There’s only one person who I’m willing to exchange my life for. So, tell me your answer.

There is mockery and paranoia in his eyes, but not a trace of fear.

It’s as though he already knows the other party’s choice... even if his bet is wrong, he will continue enjoying this game.

Even if death is what awaits him at the end.

Director: OK, cut!

Kiro’s seamless performance garners applause from the audience

After that, Kiro and MC head to an open air restaurant

Kiro what choice MC would make if she were the protagonist of the show and one of them has to die

MC: I’ll change the script, so the both of us can live.

Kiro keeps teasing her e.g. eating her half-eaten biscuit

She suddenly hears a loud sound, and she grabs Kiro’s hand

There are a series of explosions below as part of the special effects from the filming site

Kiro: Even though almost everything you saw today was artificial, you can remember the me of right now. The me in front of you is the real me.

I turn back to Kiro, who looks at me at the same time. His fingers are on the back of my hand. The temperature and touch are extremely real.

And the memories belonging to us will always remain in this real moment.

Kiro’s Call: here

🌹 Victor’s Secret Date (隐秘之约) 🌹

MC wakes up and finds herself in an unknown underground facility. From the unknown voices in the beginning, it’s clear she wasn’t the target of the kidnap

Victor is with her too, and they briefly go through what happened beforehand: MC and Victor were on their way to the carpark at around 7pm after going through a report

The doors aren’t locked, and they aren’t tied up

Victor: I’ll give you five minutes to adjust your state of mind.

His sentence, which came out of nowhere, startles me slightly.

Looking at his expressionless face, I suddenly realise something and laugh.

Victor: What are you laughing at?

MC: Are you... concerned about me?

Victor: ...instead of asking unrelated questions, spend your time on something useful. You still have 4 minutes and 8 seconds.

Victor gets her to check the area right outside the door. When she returns, Victor tells her to stay close to him, and grabs on to her

He reveals that he can no longer see

Despite his temporary blindness, he’s very calm

He speculates that the reason why they’re here is to keep Victor away from an auction taking place the day after they got kidnapped (which is the present moment)

Victor hands her his cuffs, which are actually electronic transceivers

MC: Boss, actually... you can give me a direct order to bring you out of here. This place looks like an abandoned experiment site, so...

I leave the remaining speculations in my heart. The people who threw us here... did they do it just to prevent Victor from participating in the auction?

We’re surrounded by darkness. I hold the electronic transceiver to find the exit.

Victor follows behind me, sometimes pointing out the correct direction.

MC: Victor, are you sure you really can’t see? Is this just a test for me...

Victor: ...you’re the one who is testing me. Do you want to get hit and become even more stupid?

He gently pulls me to his side, preventing me from turning around and hitting the wall in front.

Victor: After walking for such a long time, you still don’t know the approximate distance?

MC: Right now, I think you might be able to make it in time for the auction.

Victor: Being optimistic is good, but...

Suddenly, they hear someone walking around and shouting extremely loudly

Victor uses his palms to cover MC’s ears <3

MC musters her courage, stops herself from trembling, and finds a place for them to hide

Right now, there’s no time to figure out who this person is. No matter what, I can’t let Victor get hurt here.

I promised him once before.

The sound of the footsteps eventually disappear

MC: You weren’t worried that I’d accidentally bring us to that insane person?

Pulling Victor into a dark corner, I do my best to adjust my breathing, and force my voice not to tremble.

Victor: Since I said that I’d trust you, I wouldn’t doubt you.

Victor guesses that the people who brought them here aren’t out for their lives, or they wouldn’t be allowed to roam freely

MC then wonders why they had to blind Victor, and points out that the man just now seemed deranged. She guesses that it’s a result of simply being in the underground facility. Someone wanted him to know about the existence of the facility, but not give further details

MC: I have a question, but I’m not sure if I should bring it up.

Victor: There will be Arab merchants bringing new reagents to the auction. They contain certain special elements.

MC: I haven’t even asked.

Victor: Was my answer wrong?

I smile secretly, lowering my eyes to look at our overlapping hands.

MC: You answered wrongly. I wanted to say that even the dignified CEO of LFG can get kidnapped in such a confusing manner, and even get his eyes hurt.

Victor: If you want to obtain a precious prey, you need to prepare a cherished bait.

MC: Could it be...

Victor: That auction is also a bait.

At 7pm, there’s a signal from the electronic transceiver, and they leave the underground facility

Security reaches the scene, and Goldman comes rushing over

Victor sends a few men to the facility to investigate

Victor asks MC to follow him, and it’s clear that he doesn’t want anyone to know of his temporary blindness

MC watches as Victor successfully clips on his seatbelt:

Victor: I’m able to feel it.

MC: ...I wasn’t looking at you!

MC wonders where they’re heading to since they’re late for the auction. Victor tells her that they’re going to a winery

When she looks at the rearview mirror, she sees that the place they were at has caught on fire

MC: Did you already sense that something was amiss with the auction?

Victor: Mm. That Arab merchant is just a guise. Behind him is a private arms organisation. They used the Arab merchant just to gauge the interest level for their reagent.

MC: Didn’t you say it was an auction you needed to attend?

Victor: They just wanted to ensure good faith.

MC: And there’s no need now?

Victor: Now, there is a different way to show my sincerity.

Once they reach the winery, Victor hands MC a gun

Victor: Can I continue trusting you?

MC: You have no other choice.

In the winery, the merchant tries to push the reagent to Victor

Merchant: Does CEO Victor have doubts regarding the efficacy of the medicine? It has already gone through tests, and it can...

Victor: I need to doubt medicine that causes mental breakdowns when injected?

Merchant: ...

Victor: I’m not interested in your medicine. The thing I want is your newly mined ore field. All of it. I don’t need technical staff.

Merchant: CEO Victor’s transaction seems to be overly greedy.

Victor: I’ve said it before - I’m uninterested in your defective products. Apart from LFG, no other company can meet your capital needs.

Merchant: Aren’t you being too confident? The world is pretty big. Maybe the STF can give us similar support.

Victor: In that case, you better ensure your safety and leave Loveland City before obtaining their support. One thing LFG doesn’t lack is business partners. Meeting you personally is enough to express my sincerity.

The transaction is completed

They head to LFG, and Victor tells her to drive back

BRACE YOURSELF FOR A CUTE SCENE:

MC: Victor, I’ll send you upstairs.

Victor: No need.

MC: Your eyes...

Victor: I’ll handle it, don’t worry. You did very well today. I owe you a favour.

Victor doesn’t give me a chance to respond. He opens the car door and heads towards the main entrance of LFG.

I release a secret sigh and hastily leave the car to walk to his side.

MC: That’s the side entrance. The side entrance of LFG doesn’t open at night.

Victor: ...do you know LFG better than I do?

Switching his direction, he walks confidently towards the railing near the main entrance.

I hurriedly grab onto his sleeve in order to make this brave man stop.

The night has softened his cold edges. His shoulders are straight. Ever since what happened with his eyes, he hasn’t uttered a single word of frustration.

Perhaps he’d never say such words.

Sensing my quietness, Victor lets out a soft sigh. He turns his head slightly, then closes his eyes in resignation.

Victor: Since you want to be responsible, take responsibility till the end. Before my day lights up, don’t think of leaving.

Victor’s Call: here

🦋 Lucien’s Bondage Date (束缚之约) 🦋

MC receives a call from the newest member of Black Swan. He proudly proclaims that he has caught a “big fish” who has agreed to provide important information only if MC personally goes to the interrogation room

She receives a photo of the “big fish” - it’s Lucien.

And she knows something is amiss because Lucien isn’t someone who would get caught so easily

When she reaches the interrogation room, Lucien is tied up and injured

Even so...

His smile and posture are not those of a caged prisoner. Instead, it’s as though he’s waiting in the dark for his prey to enter a trap...

A successful hunter.

Lucien: What’s wrong? You’re not happy to see me like this? Just now, someone mentioned that... I’m a surprise prepared for you.

I clench my teeth hard, and exert more strength as I grip the iron cage.

MC: ...are you okay?

Lucien: Are you showing concern for me?

MC: I just want to know what exactly you’re planning.

Lucien: I don’t quite understand Miss MC’s meaning. Shouldn’t you tell me what you’re planing to do with me, since you were the one who made me like this?

MC: You...

MC clarifies that she didn’t know Lucien would be brought here

Lucien keeps toying with her so she snaps

MC: Professor Lucien, I think you can clearly see the situation before you. Right now, you are a “guest” invited by Black Swan. If you want to get out, you have to prove your worth. If you don’t give us something of equivalent value, we won’t let you leave.

Lucien: Equivalent value... you make sense. In that case, what do you want then? Perhaps with more specific questions, I can give you more satisfactory answers.

MC: ...I’m not a student who’s asking you questions!

Lucien: My student would never be so fierce towards me. I’m already like this, and you still don’t believe my sincerity? I’ve thought of a piece of secret information you may be interested in. This matter involves Black Swan and core members of the STF, and it’s a secret I’ve been keeping.

MC: Lucien, are you being serious?

Lucien: It would be revealed sooner of later. Knowing it earlier could be of some help to you. If you want to know, come closer to me.

I freeze involuntarily, casting a glance at the single-sided glass separating us from the surveillance room.

Lucien: As a representative of Black Swan, shouldn’t you show me some good faith if you want the information?

She goes closer to him, but he keeps toying with her e.g. telling her that he’s cold so she should come closer to warm him up. Finally, he speaks.

Lucien: Actually, I have an arrangement with someone in Black Swan.

MC: What you mean by “arrangement”? An agent you planted?

Lucien: If you put it that way, I can't deny it. A person I planned on bringing along with me when I left this place. It’s just that back then, the timing wasn’t ripe yet.

MC: After you left, did you remain in contact with the person who kept you informed about the organisation’s internal affairs?

Lucien: Yes.

MC: ...who is it?

I stare at Lucien, my heart beating rapidly. I can’t tell if my emotions can be called anger or something else.

Lucien’s eyes continue to sparkle. He arches the corners of his mouth, as though in a good mood.

That layer of suppressed anger dissipates, and I suddenly realise something.

MC: ...Lucien, don’t speak nonsense.

Lucien: I never lie. You should know that clearly.

MC: You...

Lucien: That person is a female.

MC knows that every word and action is being watched by the people in the surveillance room

Lucien: We’ve known each other for a long time. After leaving the organisation... she has been the one taking the initiative to look for me most of the time.

MC: Nonsense! You’re just-

Lucien: Of course, I miss her a lot. Perhaps there is a tacit understanding between us. Whenever I miss her, she will appear.

MC: But the relationship between the two of you is simply sharing the benefits of exchanging information, am I right?

Lucien: ...is that so? It sounds like there isn’t a relationship at all. Did you know? Sometimes, feelings are part of a beneficial exchange. Many people simply don’t realise it, and lose out in the process. With this thought in mind, perhaps those people are the ultimate winners.

At this point, the STF barges in. Lucien frees himself from the ropes.

Lucien: I wasn’t speaking nonsense. I do have someone I want to take with me.

I feel a tightening on my wrists and I exclaim in surprise. Both my hands have been gently bound in front of me, bringing with it a silky touch.

Lucien: Now, can I take you away?

MC: ...that’s not possible.

I look him in the eyes. In the darkness, the rotating red lights occasionally flash across his face, looking blurry and dangerous.

MC: I’ve said it before. It’s all right if you choose to walk down another path, because I’ll walk the remaining half of this path on your behalf. I’ll prove to you that the decision we made at the beginning was not wrong.

Lucien ...I got it.

At this moment, I seem to understand the true loneliness in this man’s eyes than ever before. At the same time, I feel as though I’m the person he has lied to the most in the world.

Lucien: In that case, sleep for a while...

Realising what he’s about to do, I try to escape.

Lucien’s palm has already covered my eyes, the warmth reminiscent of a cloud which has been under the sun for a long time.

MC: Lucien... you're lying to me again.

Lucien: What?

MC: You...

His voice trembles in my ear. In my hazy state, I don’t know if I said the words in my heart.

He lied so that I would enter this cold iron cell and warm him up.

But his hands are burning hot, as though the temperature had been stored for a long time, reserving it for the lady who has gotten frozen in order to find him.

MC: Lucien, you don’t... feel cold at all, right?

When MC awakes, she’s at home. She feels an itch on her wrist and sees rope marks

She receives a notification on her phone telling her that the underground interrogation room has been sealed by the STF, but there aren’t any traces left of what happened yesterday

The interrogation materials have also been wiped

The doorbell rings, and it’s Lucien

MC: Are you Mr Advisor, or Professor Lucien?

Lucien: Right now, I’m just a neighbour who is inviting you for dinner. Will you do me the honour?

MC: Mm... I happen to be a little hungry.

Lucien smiles. When he takes my hand, his eyes fall on the ribbon tied to my wrist.

Lucien: Is this... a new ornament?

...oh no, I forgot to take it off last night.

Looking at his expression, which clearly shows that he knows what’s going on, I nod and pretend nothing happened.

MC: Even I don’t know where it came from. Come to think of it, could it have been you?

I ask Lucien, lifting my head while changing my shoes at the entrance.

He smiles, his warm fingertips gliding across my wrist. He chuckles lightly while unravelling the delicate knot.

Lucien: Next time, I’ll tie it a little more tightly.

Lucien’s Call: here

💔 Gavin’s Stray Date (迷途之约) 💔

MC is in a hut on a cliff by the sea looking for someone

She spots a familiar figure 👀

She tries to sneak away because she doesn’t want trouble, but the wind lifts her off the ground and brings her over to Gavin

Gavin: Care to explain?

Gavin lifts his head and arches his brows slightly. Both hands are crossed in front of his chest as he watches me hover in the air.

MC: I... was just preparing for a future photoshoot.

While he tries to catch her in a lie, he uses his Evol to gradually make her hover above the ocean...

MC: You... this is against the rules!

Gavin: I’ve always used my own methods to resolve issues.

MC tries to suppress her trembling, and reaches out to maintain her balance. She then realises that the air currents around her are controlled very well to ensure she doesn’t fall - Gavin is just trying to scare her

She calms down and relaxes her posture, even smiling at him

Gavin: [sighs] You’re not afraid?

He closes his eyes and sighs softly, bringing me closer to the cliff. He still doesn’t put me down.

MC: I said it before - I’m not afraid of you. So, you can’t scare me.

Gavin: What relation do you have with that person?

MC: Does STF’s mission have something to do with that person?

Gavin: This has nothing to do with you.

MC: In that case, my answer also has nothing to do with you.

His fingertips tremble and he looks straight at me. I sit on the air current and clench my fists, staring back at him.

MC: Gavin, I also have things I want to use my own methods to resolve. He has taken something he shouldn’t have. I’m not sure about the rest of it, and I don’t want to know.

The strength of the air current gradually becomes weaker. I try to maintain my balance, but Gavin suddenly holds me gently.

With one hand, he grabs my wrist. With the other, he brushes my back so I can stand on the ground steadily.

He must have stood here for a long time - he smells of the ocean breeze.

Gavin takes half a step back. This wordless hug was so brief that it almost feels like a hallucination.

Gavin: He has always been on the STF’s wanted list. For three years.

A few days later, MC uses intelligence from the STF to look for the man

Under the cover of the sprinkler system of the hotel, she looks for the USB drive in the man’s room

Gavin suddenly breaks the window and enters the room

The first thing he does is to scan the room for a fire... and only after he sees there isn’t any, he rushes to MC (does this mean he still has a phobia of fire?? 😭)

Just when you think this isn’t painful enough:

After pressing the off button, he casually wipes off the water droplets from his forehead and fringe. When his hair curls up in the air, it actually looks pretty cute.

That strawberry hairband and resigned expression suddenly flash before my eyes.

A curtain of water clouds my vision. I blink repeatedly, forcing myself to focus on the present.

[Note: It’s a reference to Gavin’s Prank Date]

While they talk, they discover that it was neither STF nor MC who set off the fire alarm. The man had escaped with the help of somebody else

Gavin puts a jacket over MC and carries her out of the window

MC asks if they can work together, but Gavin says:

Gavin: That’s not the way I work. The thing you’re looking for is unrelated to Black Swan, so I won’t look into it. But this doesn’t mean it’d be the same next time.

When he reaches the ground, he holds me in his arms and walks to the ambulance, blocking me from the sight of onlookers.

Gavin: She suffered some injuries just now. Bring her to the hospital.

After speaking, he lifts the jacket that’s covering my face, and leans close to my ear.

Gavin: Don’t involve yourself in this matter again.

Later, MC leaves the hospital, hugging Gavin’s jacket. She’s at the port.

A few minutes ago, she received a call telling her that the man plans to leave Loveland City through the port that night

It’s also revealed that the man betrayed Black Swan

Suddenly thinking of something, she calls Gavin, who already knows of the man’s plans to leave Loveland City

MC voices her suspicions that the person helping the man isn’t simply helping him escape out of kindness. From her investigations, the man hasn’t kept in contact with anyone after leaving Black Swan three years ago

Gavin says he’d head to the port, but MC says there isn’t enough time

Gavin: I know what you’re thinking. You don’t have to worry about these things. All you have to do is keep yourself safe, and leave the rest of it to me.

MC persuades him to direct her so she can find him quickly, since STF would need some time to arrive

MC: Gavin, you have to trust me. Trust me, all right?

Gavin: You have to promise.

MC: I promise nothing will happen to me, and that I have my ways of protecting myself. And I also trust that you’d give me the correct judgments.

I’m no longer that person who only knows how to let you stand in front of me. This time, I’ll stand beside you, and will not back down.

MC: Gavin, I’m at the unloading zone.

The lights from the cold machine are reflected in his eyes. Beneath his palm is the entire port.

He forces himself to lean against the chair instead of immediately rushing to the girl’s side.

Gavin: In 50 metres, there are two people at two o'clock. The target is moving towards Area C. There’s no rush. Your speed is faster than him.

MC: That’s a shuttle bus I “borrowed”.

Hearing the girl’s slightly satisfied tone, he can’t help but let out a secret smile.

Gavin: [softly laughs] Turn right.

MC: Did you just laugh...

Gavin: No.

MC: Don’t think you can lie just because I can’t see you.

Gavin: ...

MC: I guessed correctly, right? If it’s you, you’d definitely say something along the lines of “I won’t lie to you”.

Gavin: Didn’t you lie to me in front of the hut?

MC: ...

Gavin: Turn left in front. He’s stopped.

MC: I don’t have a choice sometimes...

The girl sounds as though she’s been wronged. Her voice goes round and round, worming into the tip of his heart, and gently prodding it twice.

Gavin: I...

MC: Gavin! I think I see him!

I hide behind a container secretly, watching as the man looks around furtively, as though waiting for someone.

A red dot appears on his back, and trails upwards.

MC: !!!

I rush forward quickly, throwing two black objects in the direction where the red light came from.

In the dense smoke screen, the man sees that things are amiss, and whips out a detonator from the pocket of his coat.

A massive explosion sounds. I grip the man’s collar tightly, but am held in a warm embrace the very next second.

MC: Gavin?!

Gavin: Did you really think I’d let you come here alone?

Gavin: So this is your way of protecting yours-

Comical ribbons fall lightly on the top of Gavin’s head, hanging in front of his left eye.

His bright amber eyes blink. Gavin turns his head to look at the sky full of coloured ribbons.

A gigantic inflatable man holds a banner with the word “surprise”, and it sways in the wind.

The man freezes in place while holding onto the detonator, looking as though he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

MC: I knew early on that there’d be something “special” here. How is it? I said I had my ways. Unexpected, right?

Gavin lifts his hand, gently removing the ribbon next to my ear. He fails to suppress a smile.

Gavin: Unexpected. But we’ll talk about this later.

He stands up, looking coldly at the man cowering in the corner.

Gavin: MC, turn around.

MC: Okay...

I listen to Gavin and turn around obediently. The moon hides behind the clouds, as though carrying a sense of pity.

Soon after, Gavin receives news that the sniper has been brought under control.

After explaining how the sniper was caught, Gavin places something on the top of her head - it’s the USB she’s been searching for

MC: Even though I really didn't do anything bad, you’re just giving it to me directly? You don’t need to check it?

Gavin: I’m taking it away if you keep asking.

MC: I won’t ask, I won’t ask.

However, MC has another question - how did Gavin appear at the scene when he should have been in STF’s command room?

Gavin doesn’t give her a straightforward answer

Gavin: I was at the control system, but I could also come here. That’s it.

[And then Papergames cuts me deep by playing Gavin’s S1 bgm out of nowhere...]

At this moment, sirens blare in the distance. The special reinforcements have arrived.

I dig into my bag and realise my car keys are missing.

A bunch of bright keys slide in the air and fall into my palm.

MC: I even thought you’d detain me for an investigation.

Gavin: Aren’t you...

He pauses, and he retracts the words on his lips. After a long time, he speaks slowly.

Gavin: You didn’t do anything bad, right?

Gavin turns his head to the side. The crescent moon hides his eyes in the night.

Gavin: Didn't you ask me to trust you?

His voice is very light. It’s so light that once the words leave his lips, they are immediately swallowed up by the night wind.

MC: What?

Gavin: You’re still not leaving? Do you really want me to detain you?

I purse my lips at him, then grip the car keys as I run in the direction of the car park Gavin told me about. I suddenly think of something, and turn around.

MC: Isn’t it very convenient to work with me? If you keep rejecting me, you’ll lose out. I suggest you consider it properly next time.

Gavin: All right, I’ll consider it. The next time you face danger, you don’t need to rush into it alone. It’s quite silly.

MC: You...

Gavin: You can call my name.

Do you know why this hurts so much? Because he’s unintentionally referencing his very first date - the Relieving Date:

Gavin’s call: here

🌸 MOMENTS 🌸

Gavin’s Post: Another coincidence?

MC: I even feel like I'm staging it.

Gavin: Having your car break down doesn’t count.

[Note: I translated “staging it” from “碰瓷”, which refers to how some drivers manoeuvre unsuspecting motorists into crashes in order to make false insurance claims.]

Gavin’s Post: Another coincidence?

MC: I didn’t think my car would break down outside the STF entrance, causing trouble for you again.

Gavin: It’s okay, it’s no effort at all.

Gavin’s Post: Another coincidence?

MC: My engine might have its own ideas... but thank you for your wind in helping me move the car.

Gavin: Ahem, it’s just safer that way.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #dates are arranged according to how much they hurt my soul in ascending order T^T

280 notes · View notes

haloud · 3 years

Text

things we could burn in one go (eminence) - chapter 8

also on ao3

Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Isabel Evans & Max Evans & Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Forrest Long/Alex Manes Additional Tags: post-s2, Canon Compliant, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Starts Forlex Ends Malex, Other Characters May Appear, Tags Subject to Update, Mutual Pining, Breaking Up, Getting Together

Chapter Summary: Forrest returns from his trip, and he and Alex clash over Michael’s presence in his life.

Excerpt:

Was Forrest right?

Was he taking advantage of Michael? No. His first instinct was no. Michael came to him when he was in need—something Alex still wasn’t letting himself stop to process.

But the thing Forrest said about power…

If he searched himself, if he had to put it in such terms: Michael did make Alex feel powerful. He always had. From the very first day, when Alex offered the only thing he had—the rebellious kindness he practiced mostly because his father wanted to stamp it out—and Michael took it, took it shy and suspicious, but then grew towards him like a sunflower. That made him feel powerful. And it would be dishonest to say he didn’t feel powerful every time he came and went and no matter what Michael was still there waiting when he returned, no matter how much, yeah, Michael made him feel weak, too, knew just the right words to say to cut the deepest.

Control was a commodity. Alex starved for it his entire life and gorged himself when it was available, and only now was he in a place where he could begin on the work of balancing himself out. Michael told him once that he never said no to him—how able was Alex to judge when they crossed such old, familiar lines worn away by the traffic they’d seen over the past eleven years? How much could Michael be trusted to see those lines either, or to tell him if they were crossed instead of just taking it?

They needed to talk. They always needed to talk. It never got any easier. And what the hell was all the talking for, if not…that thing Forrest was worrying about? Not cheating, no, but was there still some part of him that still dreamed his old dream of what peace looked like, Michael in the early morning, and birdsong after rain, and nowhere to be but here?

Sorry I’ve been so quiet. It’s been a pretty stressful few days. I love the pictures, and I hope your trip was fun.

Alex pressed send and sent a picture of himself and Buffy cuddling in the early morning along with it.

Forrest’s reply was almost instant.

No problem, babe. It’s been great, but I’m also ready to be home…and see you again. 😉

He sighed. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard as he searched for the right words to explain the situation before Forrest walked right into it, to explain why he was sharing his home with Michael, to explain why Alex balked and deflected and talked his way around every suggestion that Michael could be on his own now, that he was healed enough to make do alone. Maybe Forrest wouldn’t understand, but Alex owed him at least that much. Right?

Looking forward to seeing you, too, he said, then dropped his phone onto his chest and ran a hand over his face.

The house was quiet around him. Michael was an early riser, but a stealthy one; thus far, even Alex’s hypersensitive hearing hadn’t been piqued or sent into an anxious, paranoid spiral by so much as the sound of a foot tread from rooms away. At first, the silence troubled Alex, brought up thoughts of Michael laying stuck in his bed afraid of disturbing Alex, afraid of him, but he’d started his own day only to find Michael’s already begun enough times now to find the quiet peaceful, thoughtful.

The buzz of his phone was jarring in comparison. He picked it up to check it.

Oh yeah? Been lonely there without me? 😉 😉 😉

Alex threw an arm over his eyes and groaned.

He was saved from having to come up with a response by another message coming through quickly: Kidding—the first group just got called to board, so I don’t have time for all that. See you soon, babe.

Alex responded, See you soon. Sure you don’t need a ride from the airport? Call me if Wyatt flakes.

I will. But I think it’ll be fine.

Okay. He hesitated again. This was his last chance to say something about Michael before Forrest was back in Roswell. But, chickening out, he just said, Call me even if you just don’t want to spend three hours in the car with him.

Forrest responded with a kissing emoji, and that was that.

Eventually, Alex got out of bed and got ready for the day. He’d taken to not wearing his uniform when off base in deference to Michael’s deep discomfort with it, and, though at times inconvenient, it was worth it to walk into the kitchen and see Michael at the table with a bowl of cereal, and for him to look up and smile at Alex instead of lean back and close off.

“Got any plans for today?” Michael asked as Alex checked his watch and grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter to eat on his way.

“Nothing much beyond work. Forrest is coming home today. He has a short layover in Denver, so between that and the drive from Albuquerque, he should get back to Roswell around the time I get off.”

“Oh. Right.”

Michael’s voice was flat, and Alex didn’t know what to do with it, so he stood at attention and waited for Michael to make the next move.

“Max will be devastated,” was all he said. In her basket in the corner, Buffy slept on.

Alex’s lips quirked up. “Maybe we can set up play dates for them. Honestly, Forrest would probably appreciate someone taking her to the park or something when he gets deep into writing or research.”

“Huh. I’ll let Max know.” He took the last bite of his cereal and stood to rinse it in the sink. Every day he regained a little more strength, but Alex’s keen eyes still couldn’t miss the uneven shakiness of his limbs or the hollowness around his eyes.

Alex checked his watch again. He needed to get going, but it was harder than he’d ever expected to leave Michael in the mornings, a thought that left guilty grit in the pit of his stomach. His heart and mind hit on a pattern he didn’t mean, a dangerous domestic assumption that wasn’t fair to anyone, not Michael, not himself, and not Forrest. The first few days, laying in the dark at night trying to locate Michael’s beat and breath from across the house, he’d told himself it was just worry for him that rooted those thoughts in his head, that if Michael was in his house for any other reason, things would be different. If it was a lie, well, Alex was comfortable with lying to himself.

“I’ll make myself scarce,” Michael was saying as he put his bowl in the drying rack.

“What?”

He shrugged and turned to face Alex, leaning his weight back against the counter. “I figured it’d be awkward if your boyfriend showed up and I was here. So I’ll make sure I’m gone by the time he gets back.”

“Michael, no.” Alex’s heart pounded sickly in his chest—Jones lying in wait to get Michael alone—Michael collapsing to the floor of his trailer, red pouring from his mouth, ears, and eyes—Michael powerless and pulled over on the side of the road to Sanders’s, apprehended and shoved in the back of a Project Shepherd van—"You can stay here as long as you need to—until we know it’s safe and the threats are eliminated. It’s not pity, it’s the same reason Max is living with Isobel right now, right? And she’s only got the one guest room.”

He was babbling, excuses flowing like wine. But no sacrificed dignity was too far if it meant keeping Michael safe—making him understand.

Continuing, he said, louder and firmer, “Frankly, no potential target should be alone right now. This shouldn’t wait until Thursday—I’m going to get in contact with Maria, Rosa, and Kyle today and work out a buddy system. Someone might have to double up; would it bother you if Maria—”

“Alex,” Michael interrupted softly. “It’s okay.”

Alex stopped in his tracks. When had he started pacing?

Michael stepped forward and, with only a heartbeat’s hesitation, so quick Alex might have imagined it, he put a warm, solid hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“If you think it’s safer, I won’t go anywhere.”

Swallowing, Alex nodded. His hand twitched at his side, but he didn’t pick it up to wrap it around Michael’s wrist and hold him there.

While they stood there, caught in the moment, dawn through the window catching dew on a spider’s web, Alex’s watch beeped little and tinny.

“Looks like you do gotta go somewhere,” Michael said, voice comfortingly casual, dropping his hand and stepping away.

“Right. I do. Look, we can just tell Forrest you were too sick to be alone. If he gets pissed, I’ll deal with it. It’s fine.”

“I don’t want to come between—”

“You’re not. I should have told him, but I didn’t, so I’ll handle the fallout. I have to go.”

“Okay.” Michael didn’t look comforted, but he didn’t fight. “See you later. I might pick up a half day at work, too. Not pushing myself,” he pre-empted.

Alex was now running too late to argue, so he had to leave it there, with just a text to Max at a red light: Michael going to work today. Call me if anything happens.

He didn’t hear from Max all day, and when he checked his phone after work, he had only a couple brief messages from Forrest confirming he made it to Denver and made it onto his connecting flight.

Made it to ABQ alright? He texted, and by the time he got home, he had a response.

Yeah. Super tired. Maybe I should have asked you after all…I’m stuck in the car with Wyatt’s music, ugh.

Michael’s car wasn’t in the driveway like Alex might have expected if he’d gotten a ride to Sanders’s and come back, but Alex took a deep breath and postponed spiraling over anything until he confirmed whether or not Michael was here. Shouldering his bag and locking his car, he made his way inside, responding with his other hand. Ugh indeed. I hope you brought the good headphones for blocking it—and him—out.

You know it, babe.

“Michael?” he called.

“In the den,” Michael replied.

There, Alex found him stretched out on the couch, ankles crossed and propped up on the arm so Buffy could sleep beneath them, a book in his hands that he set aside as Alex entered the room.

“How was your—what the fuck?”

Buffy’s head perked up at Alex’s voice, and she gave him a baleful look.

Michael grimaced. “Don’t freak out—”

“What the hell happened?”

In two strides, Alex crossed the space between them and grabbed Michael’s hand to examine it. He sported thick white gauze wrapped around his palm, and Alex had to fight down a scream of pure frustration.

“I just burned myself at work. It’s not as bad as it looks—Max just went overboard dressing it since I wouldn’t let him heal it.”

Alex scowled. Traitor.

“Have you had Kyle look at it? Why didn’t you let Max heal it? Why—”

“Alex! It’s fine. I’m fine.”

He sat up so their eyes were closer to level; Michael’s eyes were golden and earnest and exasperated and Forrest might already be back in Roswell and Alex couldn’t stand it.

Michael continued, “I’m not stressing Max’s heart or wasting Kyle’s time with something like this. Little injuries are common in the shop. I really am gonna be fine. You need to breathe.”

Following that advice, Alex closed his eyes, breathed in and counted, breathed out and counted. Of course something as small as a minor burn wouldn’t register to Michael. Alex had held those hands, felt them on his body, counted every tiny white scar and callous, claimed and cherished them when one was warped with pain and grief. This little injury was normal, routine, not anything to protect him from, not any proof of Alex’s failure. He needed to calm down.

“Your car isn’t here,” he said, changing the subject off of such heavy things.

“Yeah, Max picked me up and dropped me off. I could have driven, but you’re not the only person being overprotective right now.”

Hm. Maybe Max wasn’t such a traitor after all.

“And is Sanders—"

He cut off at the rattle of the doorknob. Buffy echoed the sound with a bark, and instinct had Alex reaching for his gun; he rotated himself to be between Michael and the door, even as Michael hissed in displeasure. But he couldn’t defend himself like this, without his powers, so Alex wasn’t taking any chances.

“Alex, hey, babe, you left the door unlocked!”

Oh. Alex dropped his head down and took his hand off his gun, running through his hair instead. Right.

“Hey, Forrest,” he called back, checking his phone as he spoke. No missed calls or messages. He caught Michael’s eye and grimaced as Buffy clambered off the couch and loped towards Forrest’s voice.

“Everything okay? It’s not like you to…”

Forrest froze in the mouth of the hallway, locking eyes with Michael on the couch, who in turn flicked his eyes to Alex like he had the answers to the awkward situation that just landed in their laps.

“Michael! This is unexpected. I didn’t realize you guys hung out,” Forrest said with impressively convincing but still false cheer. He tilted his head and shot Alex a questioning look, too, and defensiveness rose hackles in Alex’s head.

“He’s been sick, had a pretty bad fever a few nights in a row, so I told him to come over, since he lives alone and all,” Alex lied brusquely.

“Ah. Well. I hope you’re feeling better?”

“I think I’m gonna go chill outside,” Michael said, leaping up with a vigor he clearly didn’t possess at the moment, wobbling dangerously and, after righting himself, staggering toward the door.

Thank god his car wasn’t here so he could only get so far if he decided to take off.

As long as he didn’t suddenly rediscover the ability to teleport that almost killed him, that was.

“He’s been here for how long?” Forrest asked as soon as they were alone, voice still false and light. His eyes were lined and exhausted from travel.

Alex shrugged and, inclining his head to suggest Forrest follow him, he headed to the bedroom to put his gun in its safe. Buffy watched them go.

“A few days,” Alex said as they walked. “Like I said—he was sick, and he lives alone. Sorry, I should have warned you.”

“Oh. Well, I, uh. That’s okay, I guess. I didn’t know the two of you were that close?”

The safe beeped, and Alex stowed his firearm and closed it, spun the dial, and waited for the whir of the electronic lock engaging too. Then he turned to face Forrest and said, “We’re friends. We spend time together sometimes. You know, Thursdays?”

“Every Thursday.” Forrest’s voice was flat again. “Do you guys only hang out on Thursdays, or…?”

“We have different schedules, so it’s mostly Thursdays, but not always. Hell, Forrest, he was there when the two of us met, I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

“That was months ago, and I’ve barely heard you mention him since we started dating, only seen him once, when we went to the bar. Remind me who comes to those little get togethers again? Or is it just you and Michael.”

“It depends on the week,” Alex said, growing increasingly defensive. His back was to the wall; he didn’t have much room to maneuver. His ears were ringing slightly. “But there are usually—we have the same entire friend group, hell, I invited you to a couple Thursdays, and you always said no! But, yeah, Michael hosts them, we hung out one on one a few fucking times, should I start giving you a numbered list of my known associates, or what? Fucking hell, Forrest.”

“Okay, okay, God. No, I don’t care who you see, I just…”

“Just what?”

“I don’t know, you’re exes! You’re—you’re almost more than that, even; I may not know the whole story, but you have unfinished business or whatever! I know your song was about him. So the idea of you two spending a ton of time together makes me insecure. And I know you can handle yourself, but I worry, with Guerin being—"

Alex drew back at that. “Guerin being what? He’s not dangerous just because he doesn’t meet your perfect standards, holy shit, Forrest.”

His own voice whispered wasting his life nastily in his ear, but he shoved it down. That was guilt for another time; right now his energy was better spent defending Michael from whatever the fuck accusation Forrest was trying to point his way.

“Right, right, I know.” Forrest ran an agitated hand through his hair. “Sorry, it just slipped out.”

“That doesn’t really make it better,” Alex snapped back.

Forrest sighed heavily. “I know. I know. I’m sorry, I was just really taken aback seeing him here after being gone—and you being so distant. Can you see how that might feel? Even though I trust you?”

Alex took a deep, cool breath. Yes, he could see it. He’d sat with the guilt and anxiety about it for days, even as he’d been unable to let go of Michael in his grasp. He could at least be gentle about Forrest’s reaction now. He reached out and took his hand and said, gently:

“Michael and I used to date, yes. But we’re friends now, and nothing else.”

But no matter how sincere he tried to be, Forrest’s face told him something in there was hollow. Alex’s stomach twisted.

Even if, the thought intruded, even if he did decide to cheat, he wouldn’t put Michael through all the hiding and sneaking and secret-keeping it would take, wouldn’t do that to him. Again. He shoved that thought away with force, before it could get its claws in him, as nauseous with stress as he already was.

A brief smile flickered across Forrest’s face. “Okay. Thank you. I trust you, okay? I do. I’m sorry for getting all controlling.”

He leaned up, and Alex kissed him lightly.

“Hey, now that Michael’s gone…” Forrest raised an eyebrow and tugged Alex’s hand lightly in the direction of the bed. “I was hoping we could have a date night in? Celebrate my homecoming? As long as you don’t have any plans, that is, I missed you and wanted to do something a little spontaneous…”

“Hold on, he stepped outside to let us talk, he didn’t leave leave. He’s staying until he’s out of the woods with whatever he’s got.”

The glitter that had sprung up in Forrest’s eyes winked out again. “He looked fine to me.”

“He almost passed out when he stood up! I’m not leaving him by himself while he’s sick. That doesn’t mean we can’t still go out—”

“And what, I’ll have you home by ten with a nice chaste kiss on the doorstep? Or we can go back to my place, where Wyatt will be playing Xbox in the den.”

This was the sharpest Forrest had ever spoken to Alex, and his mind spun blank tape trying to come up with the appropriate reaction. Where was this coming from? Had Alex crossed such a line, gone so far that Forrest wouldn’t trust him at all? What about his reaction to Michael bled so far out of the boundaries he tried to draw, betrayed his heart so badly with no regard for what he knew he should want? What was wrong with him?

Forrest continued, just as piercing, “Or would we still come back here? Because I figured that’d be off the table, since you’ve gotten pissed any time I even hinted we might do anything with someone else within restraining order distance, but I’m more than happy to fuck with Guerin in the next room.”

Shock dropped Alex’s jaw at that one. “What the hell is your problem tonight? If this is how insecurity looks on you, maybe I don’t want to fuck tonight anyway. Maybe we should go out some other night.”

“I just don’t get why he has to be here, and not at his sister’s! Or hell, his girlfriend’s? Does she know he’s here?”

Utterly out of patience, guilt firmly faded in the face of budding fury, Alex snapped back, “Forrest, you are more social than this dumpy town knows what to do with. You’re involved in like four events every weekend, half of them at the Wild Pony, you cannot tell me you didn’t get that Maria and Michael broke up the first three times someone told you.”

“So his new girlfriend’s, whatever.”

“What, just because he’s bi, he has to jump right into—”

“That’s not what this is about, that’s not fair, Alex!”

“Okay! Fine. But what is it about? Because…”

Alex’s heart pounded harder as he realized what had his anxiety rising so fast and thick in his throat. Forrest set the tone and pace of their relationship, even if he set it as slow as he thought Alex needed, and Alex let him because Forrest was the one with dating experience, the one who knew how these things were supposed to work. But…

Swallowing hard, Alex said, “Because if this is you saying I’m choosing Michael over you—if you’re trying to tell me I can’t be friends with my ex, that’s a hard line for me. That’s not your call. I’ve never hidden how important Michael is to me from you, and it’s not on me if you elected not to notice. You’re not turning this on me when he needs my help.”

Forrest scowled and raked his fingers through his hair. “Never, huh? ‘It was a long time ago’ ring a bell to you? Never mind. Whatever. Just…you’re too nice, Alex. I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of by a deadbeat ex or friend or whatever he is.”

“Deadbeat?” Alex whisper-shrieked. “I just told you he’s my friend, and you, what, you have to tear him down because of that? The only goddamn thing you know about him is what he has the audacity to Google next to you when you’re writing your oh-so-important Nazi fanfic, so maybe hold off on the judgment.”

Forrest’s eyebrows climbed towards his hairline as Alex spoke, and by the time Alex was done he was storming out of the bedroom, Alex on his heels. “Okay, sure. Yeah, that’s it, I’m just jealous of the guy who hangs around you begging for scraps because you two used to get your dicks wet and he can’t move on like you did. Whatever. That’s none of my business, right. I do have eyes, Alex. I see what’s going on. But I’ll see you around some other time, once you’re over the power trip he gives you.”

“Forrest, wait. Forrest!”

“I’ll see you around, Alex. Buffy, come on, girl,” he called with a whistle, barely stopping to get her leash on before storming out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.

And then Alex was alone in the entryway, watching Forrest leave through the window, stalking right past Michael huddled in a deck chair without a glance, and Alex’s jaw clenched harder when Forrest slammed his car door shut too and sped away.

Fuck. Fuck him. This wasn’t their first fight by any means, but the part of Alex that suspected he was too fucked up for an easy, normal relationship said maybe it was their last.

Would that be so bad? Would Alex actually miss Forrest, or would he miss the kind of relationship Forrest gave him, the kind that felt like what he should want, the kind that made him happier than loneliness did all the time except when it didn’t?

Okay, but now wasn’t the time to think thoughts like that, not in the moment, not so immediately, with hurt and anger still pumping red inside him. Especially not when the fault was largely Alex’s fault for not giving him warning in advance. Now was the time for deep breaths and not throwing things against the wall, no matter how much he might want to.

And as the fury left him, bit by bit, as his pulse slowed and his muscles relaxed and the clock again ticked louder than his breathing, it left this behind:

Was Forrest right?

Was he taking advantage of Michael? No. His first instinct was no. Michael came to him when he was in need—something Alex still wasn’t letting himself stop to process.

But the thing Forrest said about power…

A knock hesitated on the edge of Alex’s hearing, then came again, a little firmer, and anxiety propelled Alex down the foyer to answer it. Michael was still out there—something could have happened to him—or he could have left—Alex would call Isobel in to look for him, that was the backup plan, but—

Luckily, his front hall wasn’t long enough for him to truly get into a spiral; and even luckier, it was Michael at the door. Alex’s shoulders slumped with relief.

“You didn’t have to knock,” he said, stepping aside to let Michael back in.

Michael shrugged. “Wasn’t sure if you’d locked up in case Long decided to come back uninvited.”

With a snort, Alex closed the door and double checked both locks this time around. It really wasn’t like him to leave anything unlocked, but he’d pencil that freakout in for later.

That reminded him, though. “Speaking of locking up, here.” He opened a drawer in the little hall table and tossed Michael a spare key. “If you’re going to be going into work, or even just going out to hang out with Max and Isobel or Maria or someone.”

Michael caught it, but then he just stared at it like it was a shaken can of soda about to pop. “I, uh, kind of figured I’d be getting out of your hair.”

No! Alex wanted to shout, his already frayed nerves colliding with the visceral thought of Max’s healing failing or reversing somehow and Michael dying alone on the floor of his trailer. But he kept his voice level when he spoke, “I thought we talked about this.”

“We did! But I thought, with Forrest—”

“He can get pissed at me all he wants. The important thing is that we don’t know what Jones might try next, and we don’t know how what he did to you works, and as long as your powers aren’t back to normal…”

“I don’t want to—”

Heart rabbiting in his chest, Alex burst out, “Look, I get that you don’t want to be here, but my first priority is your safety, and—!”

“Of course I want to be here!” Michael interrupted. His eyes were wide and wild, hair a halo around his face.

“You—”

Both of them were panting like they’d run for miles, done anything but the running away and around each other they’d done their whole lives. The setting sun lined Michael in gold, slanted across the floor and the walls and got in Alex’s eyes but left the rest of him untouched.

Alex licked his lips and tried to speak again. “You don’t want to leave?”

Raking his hand through his curls, Michael replied, “Of course I don’t. I never want to leave. I want…” He spread his arms wide in a helpless gesture. “I don’t even know. Everything I’ve always wanted! But before anything else, I just want you to be happy. I’d never forgive myself if I destroyed your life even more than I already have.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex demanded. “Destroy my life? I’m the one who put you in my father’s path—I’m the one who—”

“No, Alex.”

He stepped forward like he might reach out. Alex wanted him to, but. What was he allowed to want? How had they gotten here, to this point, again or for the first time, and Alex still didn’t know the answer?

“That’s ancient history,” Michael said gently. “You could never destroy anything, you’re…”

Alex let out a harsh laugh. “Have you met me?”

“Alex.”

“I literally went into the business of destroying things and chose it four times since, even after it destroyed a part of myself.”

Furious tears blurred his vision, blurred Michael, and it only made him angrier and more desperate. What didn’t he understand?

“Yeah, and I think that sucks!” Michael said, chest rising and falling like it might if he was laughing, but the sound he made was more like hailstones, heavier and colder than rain. “But I—I’ve made my own sucky choices, too, I’m not letting you take credit for them just so you can bury yourself with them.”

“You were the one who started talking about destruction. I’m not letting you do that either,” Alex accused. “What could you possibly be destroying except yourself? I’m the one keeping you here.”

“Really? Like I didn’t just punch a hole through your relationship just by hangin’ around? I’m no good and you know that, Alex, you should—”

His heart fluttered so fast he had to clear his throat before he could talk.

“Should just walked out that door. And he took his dog,” he said breathlessly.

A beat of silence followed. Then, the corner of Michael’s mouth twitched—Alex’s eyes dropped to watch it—and he dissolved into disbelieving giggles, leaning back against the door like he needed it to hold himself up.

When he could speak again, he thumbed a tear away from the corner of his eye and said, “What are we doing here, Alex?”

“I—don’t know. I never know what I’m doing.”

“That’s not true.”

“Okay, emotionally,” Alex allowed. “Forrest wanted to date me, and he’s so normal, I thought I could, I don’t know, follow his lead and things would just slot into place. But I’m starting to think it doesn’t work that way.”

“I gotta tell you, Alex, you’ve never been great at follow the leader,” Michael said, so gently Alex almost felt it on his skin, a palm cupping his cheek.

“But I can try. I can learn new things,” he said. “So—what about your lead? What, what are we doing here?”

Michael swallowed, the apple of his throat bobbing.

“I’m as clueless as you,” he said. “And I’m not ashamed to say shit scared, either. There’s a lot of things with you and me I’ve spent a long time telling myself either won’t work out or shouldn’t. I’m scared of all the shit I’ve said before. But some of it—a lot of it stands. I wanna be good for someone. I wanna be good for you, even if I know I’ll never be perfect—”

“You don’t have to be perfect. Nobody’s perfect,” Alex breathed.

“Right. That’s what they tell me.”

The two of them balanced on the edge of a knife, barely enough oxygen between them to sustain them both without sharing. There were always two ways this could go. The paths diverged again and again and again and they turned away from the clear path so many times it made the both of them half-feral. But, inevitable, like the summer sun, like gravity and escape velocity, here they were, again, at the crossroads.

Michael swallowed again, then his lips parted, then again.

“What do you want to say, Michael?” Alex asked.

“I want to tell you that I love you. That I have for a long time.” His voice cracked. “And that, no matter what happens, I always will. But I don’t know what to do with it, after this long, and now that things have been good between us, what if we fuck it up again? What if—”

Alex’s mind whirled, with words he thought he’d never hear, with the accusations Forrest had hurled his way, about power and control and all those things that, like Michael’s heart, Alex had far to go to wield responsibly, but here was a greater truth:

Alex had never been great at talking.

He seized the front of Michael’s shirt in both fists and hauled him in for a kiss.

Michael gasped against his mouth. His lips were hot, all of him burned, blazed against Alex wherever they touched, and they touched, as Michael relaxed against him, his hands grasping Alex by the elbows and sliding up to his shoulders, the sides of his neck, holding him there as they swayed, mouths locked together. He tasted just as Alex remembered. A cascade of shudders washed down his spine and washed away every other sensation.

They kissed in the sunset sunlight, in Alex’s home in front of the front windows, and Alex buried his hands in Michael’s hair and devoured him in the open, away from any place he used to hide him, under bedsheets, in anonymous rooms, in the back of his head when he was sure he was alone. When they pulled apart, they came back together, both of them insatiable, until Alex’s lips buzzed and the ache from standing too long crept in.

Michael was wobbly too, so Alex took him by the hand and pulled him deeper inside.

“We should probably keep talking,” Michael rasped.

“We’ve got a lot of time for that. As much as we need,” Alex promised.

He knew his priorities, now. That was a promise he’d never break again.

“Forrest—”

“If he didn’t mean to break up with me when he left an hour ago, I’ll take responsibility,” Alex dismissed.

“Okay, okay.”

When Alex glanced over at Michael, he was smiling and shaking his head.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just forgot how much I like a man who takes charge.”

At that, Alex had to laugh too, and the sound came out so different, light and giddy, that he surprised himself.

“Bullshit,” he said. “After all this time, you think you still have to flirt with me?”

Michael tugged him by their joined hands. They’d only made it as far as the den and they were kissing again, just long enough to get them buzzing again.

“Only ‘cause you like it,” Michael murmured against his lips. “It’s a crowd pleaser.”

“I love it,” Alex confirmed, so soft he shaped the words more than he said them, but they were loud to him—Michael’s face changed, and Alex knew they were loud enough.

#this is not the most recent chapter #but ive been delinquent with the crossposting #malex fic #my fic #michael guerin #alex manes #sorry to my forlex pals the breakup is in this chapter i hope ive done you guys justice all the same

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initiumseries · 4 years

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Hey! I love your thoughts on bad tv and I’d love to hear a series wrap up on CAOS if you want to make a post about it. If not no worries and thanks for posting your thoughts on the show over the last year. Loved them and love your blog too!

Thank you!! Sure I can totally do a series wrap up, pretty much right now, in response to this ask.

So, if I had to distill my issues with this series into a few bullet points it would be:

-plot -world building/continuity -characters

Plot

CAOS struggles with plot, and I think the biggest reason why, is they just seemed to completely lose track of what the hell they were doing lol. Season 1, ends up being the tightest season because the plot was simple: Sabrina’s dark baptism and her leaving her mortal life behind to become one with witchkind. They beat us to death with the Satan stuff, and they cram as much corny imagery as possible in, even if it doesn’t really make sense.

why are they having class in a hallway? Do witches not use technology? Why is that blackboard so small? Why isn’t this just a normal classroom setting?

Sabrina’s Season 1 character arc is also clear: she decides, fuck the rules, she’s going to straddle both worlds and everyone’s just gonna have to accept it. It’s not good, but it’s clear. S2, 3, 4 get completely lost in all this other weird stuff. Sabrina is actually not her father’s daughter, but Satan’s, and that plotline goes absolutely nowhere when Sabrina conveniently doubles herself (and experiences 0 consequences for it) and rules hell while also staying in Greendale as herself (seriously, it’s not like satan was dying or anything, he was perfectly fine. For what reason did Sabrina need to become Queen? There’s no answer or explanation for that, she just...did. Ok :/). Father Blackwood goes apeshit and pulls a Jonestown, for no real reason, CAOS starts leaning heavily into this white feminism stuff (for godsake, the coven kills a DEMON, with the fucking pain of childbirth?! Are you SERIOUS??) Then, s3, it’s about losing their powers because Satan is childish and petty, and a new group of spellcasters are out to kill the witches, and Prudence and Ambrose hunting Blackwood. S4, the eldritch terrors, which honestly, make so little sense, I couldn’t even be bothered. Each season, CAOs falls deeper into the trap of trying to up the ante, make the danger BIGGER, WILDER, more insurmountable, while being completely unprepared to stay consistent with their characters/motivations and undercutting their own BIG ideas with stupid, nonsensical solutions (let me trap this all powerful eldritch terror by taking it to a party, proposing and luring it into a magicked dollhouse...wtf?).

Worldbuilding/Continuity

What I hate most about these writers for Riverdale and CAOS is that they just don’t feel beholden to being consistent in their worldbuilding and continuity. I don’t find anything cool about kids living in houses with old tvs and rotary phones, but then having a cell phones or wearing modern clothes. Historical anachronisms like that should serve a purpose.

It COULD be interesting if the conceit is that Zelda and Hilda are OLD, so they take comfort in old things like that, but then that should be specific to the Spellman house, and it should be weird. People should take note of it when they’re there, Sabrina should be conscious of it because she grew up in a time where TVs didn’t look like they were stuck in the 50s. But instead, it’s just...a stupid mess of aesthetic anachronisms for no reason other than they can do it and I just find that to be lazier than utilizing those details in an interesting way.

In season 1, we get a relatively clear idea that the witches have a certain way of life, that bleeds into season 2. It’s still very sloppy; the anti-pope, using satan where we’d use “god”, introducing the feast and other dangerous parts of being a witch, and essentially just doing the opposite of christianity (except for the racism/sexism ofc. That would require too much thinking I guess). But by season 3, essentially the witches’ way of life have been completely turned upside down. And we never...unpack that. There’s no mourning for literal millennia of supposed tradition, there’s no real floundering or struggling. There are apparently no other adults AT ALL in this magical world outside of Blackwood, Zelda and Hilda, so there’s no real way to get a sense of the REALITY of losing their way of life for these witches, or this world. Is it even a world? Or just a handful of people? Lol. What it means to have to choose a new god to pray to, and is there an divisiveness over who? In Harry Potter, the kids’ parents are tangentially involved when they start pulling their kids out of Hogwarts. Do any of these kids’ parents pull them out of the school when they start praying to Lilith and then Hecate? Do any of the boys have issues with moving from a male god to a female one? Where did all these kids come from if they didn’t have parents and families? Is this witch world just...the school? Why? It would have been interesting watching the witches struggle and scramble to regain their powers while also being hunted by this new, threatening group whose magic seems to be much older, much darker. But instead, they just pivot, and have a fucking picnic before the full moon.

There’s nothing interesting about characters just constantly pivoting around obstacles without having any real emotional reaction, any real struggles. Obstacles like losing their powers, should be an actual obstacle. They should struggle, there should be emotional weight, and consequences. Instead, Sabrina continues to break rules to suit her agenda, put her friends and family and risk and everyone just...rolls with it. No one is angry at Sabrina for the loss of their powers? Her choice to not become Queen of hell is why they lost their powers right? No one has feelings about that? Sabrina isn’t ostracized? We never see the way these choices, or the overarching plot obstacles impact the characters emotionally. Instead, they’re doing this stuff:

Which is completely ridiculous to me. It all just...HAPPENS. Which is this entire series. Stuff happens, and the characters just, do stuff in reaction to it. Harvey, Theo and Roz are ostensibly human, living human lives. They end up getting pulled into Sabrina’s world, and no one has any strong feelings about that? Harvey’s brother is killed, Roz is turned to stone and Theo talks to his dead great aunt and none of them are haunted by any of that? No? They just decide to create a faux scooby club to fight demons? Ok. And that cheerleading things is over as quickly as we see it. Stuff like this is insanely frustrating to watch because it makes the show a nonsensical slog to sit through. There’s nothing interesting or engaging to latch onto because they just hammer through it all and make up stupid solutions to get themselves out of the impossible stakes they threw the characters in in the first place. They introduce ideas and discard them just as quickly. An ex:angels show up, start killing people, Sabrina channels satan and kills them, and then that’s the last of those guys. Metatron (jfc even the name is stupid) shows up and is killed just as quickly. Why bother introducing them then? Why bother do any of the things you’re currently doing in this show if you have no intention of seeing it through?

Characters

No one on this show gels, at all. I don’t believe Theo/Roz/Harvey/Sabrina have been friends for ages. I don’t believe Sabrina and Nick are “end game” (why the hell do we keep saying this riverdale? It’s stupid and senseless). I don’t believe any of these relationships at all. Part of this is because the cast have no chemistry with each other:

they do not look like a friend group or couples at all, these are a bunch of people paired together.

But also because they weren’t consistent at all.

Father Blackwood went from a witch/warlock purist, to a raging sexist, to a cult leader who killed his followers, to a raging maniac bent on hitler-esque destruction in 4 seasons...for nothing. It served no purpose. He didn’t even DO anything. He was nice to the Eldritch Terrors, and became immortal...for nothing. He killed the coven, for nothing. He killed his wife in childbirth, for nothing. Zelda stole the baby, for nothing. None of that amounted to anything worth while in the entire series. So what was the point? Zelda marrying Faustus also made no sense and only happened to show JUST how sexist he was! But why? WHY? We don’t receive explanations for character behaviour, and when we do, it still makes no sense.

Sabrina breaks all these rules and experiences ZERO consequences. At all times, and it makes her a terrible main character. Everyone else abides by the rules but she doesn’t and doesn’t have to pay for that? Why? She straddles both worlds instead of committing to one, and that was the closest we got to seeing consequences for her. Everyone rushes in to help Sabrina break rules instead of holding her accountable for feeling above them. Sabrina creates 2 versions of herself, and they sloppily tie in that all the realms are converging in on each other because of what she did. Except she and Sabrina Morningstar had been hanging out...ostensibly for days/weeks/months (who knows? Not this show!) before we saw any potential issues, and then we end up finding out that this is about the next eldritch terror, not about Sabrina existing as a double in 1 universe. People get upset for a second and then move on to help her. So why have rules in this world at all if it means nothing to break them?

Nick goes through literal hell, and immediately cheats on Sabrina because of how a man made of clay looked at her. That’s laughable to me. It makes no narrative sense. Their relationship doesn’t even make sense.

Roz and Harvey spend 90% of their time almost fucking. It’s bizarre. Their getting together was random and every single scene with them alone in it is like a precursor to fucking and I don’t get why. This show does not grasp how to build up relationships. Also do these kids not have parents? Theo and Harvey stay having constant sleepovers with their respective partners, in their parents’ houses? Really? At seventeen? Lol k.

I feel like, if CAOS were better thought out, it could have actually been interesting. But it was just a smorgasbord of stuff happening, and characters doing stuff, and none of that following in any real narrative way. Storytelling has structure for a reason, and a show with a good story structure usually yields an enjoyable watching experience. CAOS is a pretty strong example of how throwing that out and relying so heavily on aesthetics and still taking the show so seriously it’s not even fun terrible, gets you nowhere. Ultimately I’m glad it’s over.

#caos #caos netflix #the chilling adventures of sabrina

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multimetaverse · 4 years

Text

Riverdale 5x03 Recap

Jellybean was born and raised in Riverdale though?? She only moved to Ohio after her mom left FP

Good on FP for doing what’s best for his daughter but probably should have told Alice beforehand that you’re skipping town

We’re ending this era of Riverdale as it began with Tom Keller as Sheriff. Hope he has a scene with his son tonight!

Jughead saying those kids almost looked innocent asleep was pretty messed up of him. 1) those are clearly homeless kids having to sleep in a fucking gym and 2) as bad as the voyeur vids were they still pale in comparison to the crimes that high school kids have been involved in over the years

Oooh man that Luke Perry is just brutal

It’s crazy to think of how far the show has come since that first scene of Cheryl and Jason Blossom in all white heading down to the river

Alice might be the most tragic living character on Riverdale, her life has just been wrecked over and over and over

It’s awful how realistic the army recruitment booth inside the school is. The Saved by the Bell reboot had a great joke about military recruitment of teens (it’s a much better show than Riverdale and I highly recommend it and it’s already been renewed for S2)

It’s nice that they brought Weatherbee back for the final high school eps

LOL at the Red Circle shade

The yearbook as a device to look back at some of the show’s history is clever. Also reveals how clearly chapter 79 which was supposed to be the S4 finale was also being written as a possible series finale

It’s very odd that Archie’s poor grades of all things are what the writers just to be realistic about. Nice of Weatherbee to let Archie walk with his friends though

Ladies and Gentlemen that could possibly be the last Varchie sex scene we ever see

Considering the US only abolished conscription after the Vietnam war, I don’t think those 4 students back in 1945 had much of a choice in joining the army. Although they lucked out with the timing since the war with Japan would end within months while they were still in basic training

Not Archie lying to both Jughead and Veronica about his post high school plans

FP telling Jughead he’s old enough to be on his own is rich considering Jughead was basically homeless and on his own in S1

Good on Cheryl for getting her red robe

Finally Tom Keller gets a scene with his son!

Omfg I can’t handle this Archie cover of Green Day

Yaas Penelope lurking in the bushes. I’m gonna miss that Queen, hope she gets out of jail soon enough

RIP Falice. It will never cease to amaze me that right when the obstacles that should have stopped Bughead such as their parents being in a relationship and their shared half-brother are swept away that Bughead is being broken up

Well good bye for now and maybe forever FP Jones. You were the best of the surviving fathers which is admittedly a hell of a low bar

Pop’s is rightfully restored to Pop Tate

Kevin mentioning Josie and the Pussycats threw me

I guess from now on we’ll always see Jughead without that stupid hat, that’s weird

These grad scenes have been surprisingly poignant but they fall flat when they include the wider group. How many lines have Kevin, Fangs, Reggie, and Sweetpea even had lately? Has Kevin done anything of note since Hedwig? We’re a long way from when he was Betty’s best friend. And what has Reggie been up to? I noticed his dad wasn’t at grad, is that because he’s dead? Is there ever gonna be a follow up on Reggie smashing his dad’s car?

Don’t have a great feeling about this vow

Archie sure knows how to kill the mood. The worst thing about Archie’s speech is its accuracy. The US military really does offer a path to a middle class existence especially for kids with no other options. The life outcomes for people without high school degrees are grim and Archie really is grasping the last, best way to try and turn around his life

This Choni breakup is so sad

The CW is wildin out letting Betty take off her bra for sex. What a bizarre transition from tearful confession to sex. Perhaps the last Bughead sex scene we’ll ever see

Just realized that Vegas will very likely be dead by the time we pick back up in 7 years

These scenes would have more impact if the show had focused on the Archie/Jughead and Veronica/Betty friendship

Wow bringing the old car out for one last drive

These flashbacks are sad, especially the Luke Perry one

God I hope Nana Rose survives the 7 year gap

Jesus Christ, so Jughead had a home he could have stayed in but decided to squat at Archie’s instead??

Poor Jughead being the only one to keep the vow

Well this really is the end of an era. Riverdale will never be the same after this episode. From the promos we know that Veronica is married to a controlling wall street douche, Archie is wounded overseas, Betty is an FBI agent, and Jughead a writer. The crisis that brings them all back is Hiram dissolving the town of Riverdale for his nefarious ends

Veronica marrying a man who shares some traits with Hiram is not surprising though the fact that she’s married is interesting, both in that there’s no way that marriage will last and in how her husband is jealous of her past with Archie, it’s an easy way to start heading towards Varchie again if the writers choose. There’s no way that Betty would be get in to the FBI with a serial killer father and half brother but we’ll see what new killer the writers can come up with. It looks like Jughead is a tortured artist. I appreciate the costume designers for making Archie’s military uniform so retro that it looks like he’s being shipped off to Korea to stop it going the way of Red China

Looking back it’s extremely bizarre that they did what they did with Barchie. It really served no purpose since they all would have gone their separate ways anyways

Well looks like Cheryl hasn’t been successful in thwarting Hiram. I would imagine that much of Veronica’s story after the time gap is her wrestling with whether to take on her father and to claim the Lodge legacy for herself once and for all. Archie had always been her guiding light in that regard and we’ll see if can play that role in the future

This 7 year gap brings the characters ages up to 25 which is much closer to the actor’s actual ages which will help in that regard. But time jumps are tricky and 7 years is quite a gap, double the length of time that these first 79 eps have lasted. Sadly, Riverdale was renewed for a 6th season but realistically the bulk of the series has now passed and whatever adventures the gang gets up to as adults will get far less time dedicated to them. Some sort of time jump was probably always necessary if the show lasted as long as it had but I’m skeptical that Riverdale can pull it off. Until next week Riverdalers

#Riverdale #Varchie #Bughead #Barchie #Archie Andrews #Veronica Lodge #Jughead Jones #Betty Cooper #FP Jones #Riverdale Recaps

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annapogorilayas · 3 years

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LoD season 4 rewatch Thoughts

there is surprisingly little complaining about the trajectory of the writing in this one lmao. this season was fun! the kate vs steve stuff has its own section at the end

jason watkins is such an underrated actor and it's a shame we only got him for one episode :(

everything about kate vs buckells is hilarious in light of recent events

i don't think it's ever made clear why tim tried to get hana to visit his flat/why he went to her flat to have sex with her? i think that's the only red herring this season that didn't quite make sense

kate worked with buckells and hilton at the same time back in S1, and yet she isn't worried at all about hilton recognising her when he walks into the office in 4x02... even though they had a whole conversation in 1x01 where he addresses her by name! there's no way he doesn't remember the woman who threw a fire extinguisher through a DCI's door?

again, the whole "buckells is a blundering fool" angle had not quite taken off yet. he's a bit flustered when ted confronts him in the alley, and he's clearly ~one of the lads~ but other than that there's nothing to suggest he's an idiot.

buckells clearly didn't get the memo about michael farmer being balaclava man. i'm not against show writers making it up as they go along (this essay makes a good case for not planning too far ahead), and i do think he was the one who left roz the "someone is watching you" note, but if hilton appointed him SIO of trapdoor to keep the investigation on michael farmer he doesn't do the best job - he keeps pointing out evidence that supports michael farmer's innocence!

steve and kate take a backseat in 4x04 and yet it's my favourite post-S3 episode! the scene where roz turns the interview on ted is one of my favourite interview scenes and definitely my favourite post-S3.

the nerve of ted and kate to drag buckells into his office for "blowing kate's undercover" when she's clearly just... bad at keeping her cover

i think the roz-tim murder plotline could've been more interesting if we hadn't seen their fight. like maybe if we'd just seen roz walking into tim's flat? then again i could be biased because i thought the ending to 4x01 was ridiculous

this season had its silly moments, and it was the start of the H storyline which i think was the downfall of the show, but overall it holds up better than i remember? almost all of the red herrings actually go somewhere/make sense in hindsight (except for the tim/hana thing). this was also the last season before the dialogue, particularly ted's, slid into self-parody. that being said, i think jamie's character could've been better developed.

the kate vs steve subplot

kate and steve spend the first two and a half episodes bickering. steve seems to have a problem with her promotion (why tho?), and she makes a jab at him about lindsay (fair enough, but it sort of came out of nowhere). it goes as far as steve accusing kate of colluding in the framing of michael farmer! it seems like it's heading somewhere, when i first watched i thought it would culminate in a massive come-to-jesus fight... and then kate brings him a lamb madras and suddenly they're fine, with no acknowledgement of why they were fighting or what the problem was?

i'm not sure if J*d wanted us to make a link between the sexism subplot and the bickering; did he want us to think that kate thinks steve is sexist? or that steve actually is sexist and can't handle his female partner being of equal rank to him, even though in the previous three seasons steve never pulls rank on kate and they treat each other like equals? in fact, if you watched S1-3 without knowing what ranks they are you probably wouldn't know that steve was kate's superior. and when he finds out she passed her inspector's exam, he is genuinely happy for her?

the scene where ted and steve meet in the pub to discuss his promotion (an opportunity he denied kate) reminded me of S1, where tony gates decides whether kate is fit to be on his team based on how well she fits in at a drink with the lads. (i don't think ted was wrong to not want to have a drink with kate - he does have a point about what people might think - but it was a dick move to then go with steve)

who deserved the promotion? on one hand, steve had much more experience as a sergeant than kate, who had probably only been sergeant for ~1 year; that's a perfectly legit reason to pick steve. i also don't think that identifying the caddy should make kate a slam dunk - solving one case doesn't necessarily make someone better leadership material. however, steve has done something to earn a bollocking off ted about once a season at this point (going rogue in S1, the nurse in S2, lindsay in S3) while as far as ted knows, kate is always on her best behaviour (he doesn't know about rich akers).

this line from the script made me chuckle. you and me both, steve.

#line of duty #kate fleming #steve arnott #ted hastings #lod critique

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letsperaltiago · 4 years

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as long as you're with me it's always the time of the year

🌟 HAPPY 6TH OF DECEMBER: DOOR ONE 🌟

Welcome to door one of four!

Behind my Christmas calendar’s first door is a... pre-relationship Peraltiago Christmas oneshot! ♥️ And I bet you have this series overall “theme” figured out now 😙If not then I guess you’ll have to tune back in in another six days! Until then I hope you can enjoy this first fic in the Christmas calendar/oneshot series!

Summary: The only thing Jake likes about the holidays is the Nine-Nine's annual Christmas party. This year, perhaps, he will come to prefer Amy's misfortune and company. Takes place somewhere between S02 E09: The Roadtrip and S2 E011:The stakeout.

Rating: G Words: 6k

Read on AO3 here

🎁⬇️OPEN DOOR ONE HERE ⬇️🎁

The smell of pine trees, cinnamon and every other Christmas spice imaginable hangs over the precinct when Jake walks in on his day off. Normally he’d never set a foot near work on one of his holy days off, but today is the precinct’s annual Christmas party, and that he of course isn’t stupid enough to miss. Who would want to miss out on happenings like Boyle bringing some unknown Christmas-snack no one would ever want; drunk-Amy making an appearance; Gina hustling secret Santa gifts from young beat cops? Not Jake, that’s for sure.

This year’s party is being held on the third floor, the Special Victims Unit’s floor, and the second the elevator doors open before him Jake is met by the loud buzz made up of Christmas music, and people talking and laughing. Colors are everywhere; from the different, ugly shirts and Christmas sweaters people are wearing to the familiar, cliché Christmas decorations which have probably been reused for the past twenty Christmas parties. It’s horribly perfect, Jake thinks. Perhaps he hates the holidays, yes, but he does love the messy parties they bring along.

“Jakey! Welcome!”

The detective has just barely stepped out of the elevator, onto festive grounds, when Charles appears right before him, holding two mugs of what appears to be some hot liquid. Jake is by no means very religious although he still prays to higher powers that said hot liquid is not that mulled Norwegian fish-wine his friend brought last year. Charles hands over one of the mugs and Jake is seriously afraid to look or, potentially even more hazardous, breathe in the toasty steam rising from it.

“Hey, bud. What’s that?”

“Mulled wine!” Charles takes a sip of his own mug meanwhile Jake can’t stop eyeing him, suspiciously so, because if there is one thing Jake doesn’t trust his best friend with then it’s primarily and definitely anything food and drink-related.

“Actual mulled wine or fish-wine?”

There is no getting around the fact that Charles is obviously hurt by the lack of trust his best friend is showing, when the little man’s face falls deadpan. “It happened once , Jake. One time.”

They start walking towards the briefing room, one much bigger than the one on their floor, where the life of the party is.

“I threw up for two days straight after last time - just saying, bud!”

Jake dares to smell the beverage and it does actually smell like actual mulled wine, so he hesitantly takes a sip, just in case it turns out he’s been betrayed. Alas the flavor tells him the liquid is indeed normal mulled wine, which makes this yet another cracked case for Peralta.

Inside the briefing room that is crowded with people, both some he knows and a lot that he doesn’t, a Christmas tree and all kinds of snacks and drinks, it’s hard to tell who is from what department and honestly? Jake doesn’t care. As long as people seem to be a good time and are willing to laugh at his hilarious charms then he’s down to clown. Or down to Santa - whatever Christmas-saying is more suitable.

“Has Gina scored herself some gifts yet? And how many drinks is Santiago at?”

Jake awaits an answer while his friend pours himself some more of the warm wine, and puts the time to good use by removing his leather jacket before hanging it on a random chair nearby. The party will be hot, literally, he figures.

“Hmm, last time I saw Gina she was up to two already…”

“Noice,” Jake nods in approval, mentally noting to check in with his friend later. This has to be the year she beats her record of eights gifts in one evening.

“... And Amy was up to one.”

“Not good enough.”

“We’ve only been here for an hour, Jake.”

Jake pauses. With the winter sun setting so early, he thought he’d missed out on hours of partying when in reality Boyle is right: it’s just barely 6.30 and he’s missed out on so little.

“Fair. I’ll give her that. Where is she anyway?”

Boyle turns just in time to see his friend scouting the room in hopes of finding his partner.

“Someone’s eager to hang out with Amy.�� Just as his facial expression, rocking cocking eyebrows and a knowing smirk, Charles’ voice is laced with teasing tones. It’s no secret that Jake commiting to his feelings and acting on them, especially now that both him and Amy are single (and totally into each other, if you ask Charles) is at the top of the older detective’s wishlist - no matter how creepy it is.

“Shut up. I have a girlfriend.” Images of Sophia flash before him, the face she made when he promised her he didn’t like Amy anymore, and deep down Jake feels guilty. The feeling is quickly pushed aside though; he’s done nothing wrong and will do nothing wrong. He’s with Sophia - not Amy. “I just need to laugh at someone and Amy just so happens to be the perfect candidate.”

“Just like she’s perfect in every other way?”

“Boyle!” Jake lightly punches his friend on the arm and it almost causes Charles to spill the hot beverage. Just barely, he manages to restore the liquids balance and keep it in the cup.

“Hey! You almost made me drop my glühwein !” Leave it to Charles to pronounce the foreign word perfectly , and leave it to Jake to, as per usual, roll his eyes at it.

“Anyways, are you going to tell me where Amy is or not?”

The two friends stand back, facing the crowd in an attempt to comb through it, however everyone’s outfits seem so alike - ugly and colourful - and so it quickly hits them just how pointless the mission is.

“I don’t know about know, but last time I saw her she was by the women’s bathroom talking to Rosa. Haven’t seen her since.”

“Hm, okay,” Jake mumbles. “I’ll be right back. I just wanna say hi.”

“Sure you do.”

Quickly decoding the way his words are drenched in a certain teasing tone, Jake doesn’t even need to look at his friend to know there’s a knowing smirk plastered across his face. There’s no doubt: it’s easier for him to just walk away without looking back - so he does.

Boyle is a fool if he thinks he’s got a thing for Amy - that ship has long sailed. In the past, yes, he did have feelings for Amy… But that was before. Before Teddy and Sophia; before realising they were better off as friends; before, before, before. Sure, he’d felt something flare up inside of him that night at the inn with Teddy and Sophia when it was suddenly revealed that Amy used to like him, perhaps still did? He’ll admit that. However that entire trip was crazy, all kinds of emotions on display, and anything that said and/or happened there should be taken with a pinch of salt. Yes, he used to like Amy, ‘used to’ being the keyphrase. Now he was happy with Sophia and couldn't possibly have feelings for Amy. At least not romantic feelings, no. Friendly feelings, the sensation of being happy when around her? Sure. Now, months after said roadtrip to hell, things were back to normal: they were partners and friends, without any weirdness or doubt about the fact. That was it and the way it would stay, no matter what anyone said - especially Charles.

Suddenly he spots her, across the room in a corner with a cup in hand, talking to someone on the phone. The iconic red cup causes a smile to grow on Jake’s face as he is granted an early Christmas wish: drunk-Amy is going to make an appearance tonight. He appreciates all sides of Amy, although drunk-Amy is extra fun - especially ever since Gina let him in on the Santiago-drunkenness scale.

It takes her a second to pick up on his approach, but the second she sees him he receives a smile in return. Her hair is loose and shiny as alway. For tonight’s occasion it has a silvery head band holding it in place. To no one’s surprise, even less Jake’s, she’s wearing what he recognizes as her famous Santiago-dress pants. Although the blazer and usually colored shit has been replaced with a neatly ironed white shirt. The silver headband along with the white shirt? Of course Amy would go for an angel-look instead of a tacky red Santa or a green elf like many of their colleagues. Then again: white does look good really good on her, Jake admits to himself, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Charles’ words were stuck on repeat in his mind then maybe he would’ve told her. A nice, friendly compliment like… “You look pretty” or whatever other nice, not inappropriate thing he could say. It’s easier to say nothing at all, he figures.

The crowd around him is loud but he can hear her talking as he closes in on her. He waves to her and she half-mindedly waves back clearly focused on the conversation she’s in the midst of.

“Okay, yeah…”

He stops next to her and sips on his drink while she finishes up.

“We’ll go meet Santa on Sunday then… Yeah, I’ll meet you there. Bye.”

Although he hates to admit it, Jake is happy to see her hang up. It means she can switch her attention to him.

“Tinder date?” He asks.

She looks up, from putting her phone away, with what Jake considers the iconic ‘ you’re an idiot’-grimace, as a consequence reminding him of the one thing he has a hard time admitting - even to himself: she looks really cute doing just that and he likes that he’s the one person that can bring it out of her.

“Ha. Ha.” Her fake laugh is drier than the failed Christmas cookies she brought last year. “What do you think I do on Tinder-dates?”

“Meet Santa - apparently.”

It’s clear as day that the young man takes immense pleasure in the easygoing banter, the special kind he can only have with Amy, and even though his mouth says and shows one thing then his shining eyes definitely don’t agree. Infatuation is the word although he would never dare to call himself out on it. That was Charles’ job, but luckily no one, to Jake’s advantage, would ever believe the always way too excited little man.

“I can’t believe how funny you are, Peralta,” Amy retorts, voice stuck in the same still flat tone that tries to make believe she isn’t very amused and delighted by the fact that Jake located her just to tease her. It’s a special kind of attention, one she at times has dreaded but with time slowly and surely has come to like - a lot. Even though she pretends not to.

“I can’t believe you go on Tinder-dates, Santiago.”

“I never said I did? You did.” She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow in objection.

“Right, right… Forgot you used to have feelings for me, which means you must’ve cut off all dating in hopes of me coming around one day.”

In all honesty Jake can’t, for the life of him, figure out why he says what he does sometimes. Although, apparently, there must be somewhat truth to it considering how Amy feels her palms heat up against her cold drink, blood rushing to her face where it quickly takes apparent form as a rosy color tinting the apples of her cheeks. Jake, even though it’s so very tempting, tries not to think any of it. Replaying in his mind is the look of confusion and pain on Amy’s face when it was brought up that Amy used to like him. Perhaps it was true but if bringing it up, in a context that wasn’t just for fun and banter, would cause Amy the same troubled feelings from back at the Maple Drip Inn, then it definitely wasn’t worth bringing up again. He shouldn't have said that. Amy didn’t have feelings for him anymore - chapter closed.

“Sorry. Bad joke.”

“It’s fine.” She tries to chuckle it off but he knows a genuine Amy-laugh and this isn’t it.

“Anyways,” Jake takes another sip of his drink leaving the word hanging in the air for a few seconds, aspiring for a change of subject, in case his partner wants to take advantage. She doesn’t though. His turn, he figures. “If not a mystery man, then who was it?”

She shakes her head smiling at his persistence. “It was my brother Anthony. Him, Christian and I are taking my nephews and nieces to meet Santa.”

“Wow, all five hundred of them?”

Amy has to laugh at this, a genuine laugh this time, one with no snarky comment because he’s kind of right: her family is huge and she appreciates him taking note of it even though the number is horribly wrong.

“Almost… Just the ten of them.”

A shared chuckle between the two settles a nice and comfortable atmosphere around the two; one where the rest of the room disappears into the background and it’s just the two of them laughing and poking at each other as if there’s no half-awkward and delicate taboo to dance around.

Sadly the moment isn’t meant to last for much longer. Jake is halfway into one of his crazy stories, making Amy laugh louder and louder with every sip of her first drink. Out of nowhere, a heavy figure, certainly bigger than Amy’s, comes tumbling into her from the side and it to no one’s surprise results in her drink flying out of her hands, splashing all over her. Amy lets out a whelp, time stands still, everything seems to go silent as everyone around Amy, Jake included, stares in horror at the sudden mess.

Her drink, an unknown clear liquid mixed with melting ice, meets her previously so white and crisp shirt immediately soaking it - there’s no saving it.

“Oh, shit.” The stutter comes from the young man of the hour, someone Jake quickly recognizes at the loud and ruthless - and that’s coming from Jake - beat cop, Officer Miller. Jake finally snaps out of his daze, surprise and disbelief having him thrown completely off track. It’s then he really notices the look of horror on his partner’s half-drenched, very disappointed face, and even though he’s not to blame and it’s barely been ten seconds since the moment of collision, he wishes he’d reacted sooner.

“Oh my gosh,” Amy spits out, the sad remains of her drink plastered to her lower face and clothes.

“Fuck,” Miller adds another stutter to the list of pointless doings, right amidst the act of just standing there completely incapable of anything at all. From his point of view, Jake is witnessing the hopelessness play out before him - Amy frozen, in shock, and Miller simply staring in disbelief at the consequences of his own acts - when he suddenly notices how the young officer’s eyes shamelessly wander, from where they were looking at Amy’s face, downwards. Why whould he-

Jake’s eyes trail along, ingeniously, but quickly fly back to where they were looking at the offender - this time with rage in them. Miller’s eyes are still gawking at one specific area on Amy: her torso where her previously nice, white shirt - one Jake can picture Amy spending hours ironing and being excited to wear - is now very much see-through.

“Hey, what the hell, man!”

Jake is by no means a violent person, nevertheless he can’t contain himself. Not when Amy is right before him looking like a lost puppy. He lightly punches the other man’s shoulder.

“What the hell, yourself! Don’t touch me!” Miller, having finally snapped out of his perverted daydream, defends himself and takes a threatening step towards Jake.

“Jake, it’s okay-” Just like all the seminars have taught her, Amy tries to interrupt the escalating conflict; one that’s somehow partly her fault but at the same time not at all. However, feeling very exposed, starting to feel anxious, she doesn’t force anything. Left to do is nothing but to stand back and watch Jake stand his ground - even when the younger but notably taller man steps up to him.

“How about you have some decency and apologize to my partner?”

Jake is enraged, obviously by the drink-incident itself, but mostly by the young officer’s disrespectful reaction that followed suit. On the occasion that he wouldn’t much rather use his energy on listening to and helping Amy then maybe, just maybe, he would’ve engaged further. Inside his head he counts down from ten, still glaring with fiery eyes at Miller, and not moving before he’s reached zero. As if on cue Amy breaks the silence.

“Jake… Let it go. It was an accident.”

She’s too good for her own self, he thinks. Her voice is shaky, not disturbingly so but just enough to get Jake to turn around, and his reasoning is confirmed: his energy and time is better spent helping her, however he can. The crowd around them has once again started buzzing, as if nothing ever happened, and the only thing Jake has eyes for is Amy and the distressing way in which she has her arms crossed before her in an attempt to hide herself. Her body’s posture obviously translates to her facial features, the anxiety starting to show, so of course Jake wastes no time; without further hesitation, he pulls off his iconic blue hoodie and makes sure to help it onto her, shielding her from the rest of the party. Once in a while he throws a glance at her face, and he can tell the very second it hits her that he must’ve seen it too since he knows what’s going on.

“Don’t worry about it. Except for that idiot, no one saw anything. Don’t think about it… Okay?” He reassures her, hopefully putting her mind at ease, and makes sure to catch her eyes before continuing. Hopefully she believes him.

“Thank you,” she whispers as they stand face to face while Jake makes sure his hoodie is covering her properly. He wants to smile, be the good in her dreadful situation, but still feeling too pissed he can only muster a nod before he wraps a protective arm around her shoulder. “Come with me, Amy. Lets go fix this.” It’s his way of telling her to come with him, that she can trust him and that he’ll take care of it. He can feel her follow him, thus guiding her to the elevator.

❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄

Still in a somewhat trance-like state, Amy lets Jake guide her, arm safely around her shoulder and small-talking to keep her calm, down the dimly lit hall of the basement and into the Nine-Nine’s men’s locker room. Her soaked shirt has slowly started soaking through Jake’s hoodie, the wet tips of Amy’s hair dripping onto it as well, and there’s a very good reason Jake has brought her where he has. He doesn’t waste a second and gently sits her down on the bench in the middle of the many lockers.

“Just sit tight, Ames. I’m going to fix this.”

She nods instead of breaking her silence, still feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the embarrassing situation which has unfortunately triggered an anxious part of her that she most of the time can keep in check. Alas this situation was too much, understandably so, and all she has to cling onto is her partner rummaging rather aimlessly through what she hopes is his locker. Must be; the inside of the door is covered in a Die Hard poster, and Amy feels herself smile a bit at the sight. That is so very Jake Peralta. Even more so when, during the intense search, all kinds of random items accidently fall out of the locker. Everything from packs of gum and old receipts to DVDs and lonely socks.

“Aha! Knew I had it in here!”

Jake pulls a chequered item from the depths of his - very messy, Amy can’t help but shudder - locker before turning to her with a wide, proud smile that lets her know: mission accomplished. He puts a red flannel on display for her and his smile never falters. “On top of being clean and warm it’s also red. Very christmassy, Santiago.”

“Have you just… always had that in there?”

“Probably since I transferred here,” Jake chuckles as he throws all the things that fell out during his search for the flannel back into the chaos of the locker. “Red is not my best color, so I just keep it in there in case I need a change of clothes…” he trails off as if he’s considering his next move, then his head whips around to look at her. “... Or, like, in case my best friend is in trouble. Might not be up to Santiago-standards but I promise it isn’t gross or anything.”

Amy can’t fight it as tiny butterflies break free in her stomach at the sight of her caring partner, someone she could potentially see as more but alas she’ll never say out loud, send her that small, mischievous yet shy smile of his. Instead of saying anything, too baffled to say anything coherent, her eyes will secretly sparkle and heart do a double take. A joke can perhaps do the job, she thinks, hating how Jake-like she’s become over the years.

“Best friend? I don’t see Boyle in here.”

“What a silly thing to say, Santiago.” Having stuffed all of his randomness back into the locker, he turns back to look at her. “You know very well that you’re my best friend, too.”

Silence, more intense than their usual comfortable ones, fall over them as their eyes stay in touch. It’s as if someone’s supposed to say something, supposed to confess, but nothing of that nature presents itself. Instead Jake clears his throat.

“Now take your wet shirt off and put this on.” He hands her the flannel and for a second their eyes lock again. She takes it from him and keeps their eyes locked, for just a second too long as if she’s trying to communicate through the stare. A tension, one made of something unspoken, once again connects them. Too bad Jake’s quick to divert the situation by clearing his throat, she think, even though she also knows he’s right.

“Uhm, so yeah… Put that on and I’ll wait outside. There’s another hoodie in my locker, uhm on top, if you’re still cold.”

“T-thanks, Jake.”

A small smile is sent her way before he disappears out into the hall and closes the door, allowing Amy to let out a deep breath. Damn Jake Peralta for being so amazing.

❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄

“Tadaaa.”

Jake’s head flies up, from where he was looking down at his phone, to witness a sight he definitely shouldn’t be loving as much as the butterflies in his stomach tell him he certainly does. There’s apparently something about Amy Santiago in his flannel and hoodie that does something to him; sweaty palms, speeding heartbeat and all that jazz.

“How do I look?”

Beautiful. He thinks but doesn’t say it out loud. There’s a teasing glint in his partner’s eyes, one he wants to fall and dive right into so badly, but he’s too aware to give into it. Amy does a pageant twirl and it couldn’t be timed any better, Jake thinks: it’s the perfect occasion for him to throw in a joke and break the spell that he seems to be under.

“Stunning,” he jokes and prays to some higher power that it’s enough to drench them in that never-that-serious, goofy energy they seem to be all about, even after the most serious and intense moments. “Like looking at myself in the mirror.”

She scrunches her nose and smiles, a face she always makes when he says something funny, and Jake doesn’t complain. “Ouch.” She says, pretend-hurt.

“Hey! I’m very handsome, thank you very much…”

“Whatever.” She shakes her head. “Thank you, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiles, genuinely as only he can, and Amy wants to thank him for so much more than just tonight. She wants to thank him for always being on her side, always making her feel good in every situation imaginable, even the bad ones, and she wants to thank him for truly being her best friend. That would come off as a very emotionally loaded confession though, so instead she bites her lip.

“Anyways… I think I’m gonna head home. I’m not really feeling like going back there.” She confesses.

All at once the light and cheery Amy, the Amy that jokes and rolls her eyes at him, seems to be switched off and once again replaced by the hesitant Amy he rarely sees. The few times he has witnessed said hesitant and insecure Amy, without hesitation or questions, he feels a somewhat irrational need to help her, take care of the thorn in her side, whatever that might be. Although now, with a girlfriend, one that isn’t Amy, weighing down on his conscience, he isn’t quite sure of how to act. The thought of her sitting at home all alone while he and everyone at the Nine-Nine parties doesn’t fall on fertile ground. No way he’s just letting her walk out.

“I’ll head upstairs with you and grab my coat, say goodbye to the squad, and then I’ll be off before I can embarrass myself again.”

“Ames!”

Barely turned on her heels, Jake is significantly faster and manages to block her way to the elevator. In the depth of his brown eyes Amy, surprised to say the least, can see something unravelling. She’s frozen on the spot where he cut her off.

“Jake?”

“Stay? We can have a fun night without going back up to the party.” He flashes a shy smile that reminds her of the kind she and her brothers always used to flash at their mother whenever they knew they were bargaining for an unreasonable cause. Much like that Jake Peralta is indeed a child disguised as a grown man.

“Stay?” There’s that stupid cute frown of hers again, he thinks and he actually isn’t quite sure of the answer. Jake had a bad case of blurting out ideas before being fully sure of what said idea fully was, and this was no exception. All he knew was that Amy couldn’t leave to be alone; he couldn’t have her spend the night doing nothing.

“Uh- I… That’s not what I meant.” It kind of actually was, but he can’t force her to stay if she wants to go, which genuinely seems to be her preferred plan. “Let me follow you home - at least.” Nice save, he thinks to himself.

Her frown slowly melts away like snow on a spring day and, if he isn’t completely delusional, Jake can see a small smile rise on her lips instead and his new idea is actually a good one.

“I would lov-” her voice hitches in her throat when she accidently looks right back into her partner's eyes, momentarily thrown off track, but in true Santiago-style she makes a quick comeback. Keeps the feelings abay and packed away like a pro. “That would be nice, Jake. Thank you”.

“Cool cool cool.” Skin against skin can be heard rubbing against each other, an unusual sound, and it confuses Amy for a second until she notices that Jake’s palms are rubbing against each other. A nervous mannerism on his part that has Amy wonder why . Not for too long though. Jake is quick to save himself.

“Let me go grab our things upstairs. We can meet on the first floor. I’ll tell everyone you feel sick.”

“Thanks, Jake. My coat is-”

“Navy blue, gold buttons and black handbag. Got it.”

So far from a question as could be, a sentence that is more matter of factly than most things Jake says, Amy can only go silent and nod in agreement. The man is very right, after all and she feels fuzzy at how seamlessly it fell from his lips. They enter the elevator in a comfortable silence and after having stepped off on the first floor, Amy can only smile to herself as she sees the elevator doors close between her and what is probably the best partner in the world. Best friend, she corrects herself, reminiscing about Jake’s words from down in the locker room.

❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄

Snow crunches under their feet, the white powder covering every street in Brooklyn, and tonight the otherwise hectic city looks abnormally peaceful. Amidst the winter wonderland, two figures make their way through the drizzling snowfall, both imagining that this is the way things, perhaps, could and should be. Alone, together the two of them, in the world.

Turns out that focusing on the story Amy is currently telling is, even though very interesting, very hard when snowflakes caught in her hair makes it look all glittery and pretty. Also soft, he thinks, and he hates that he wonders what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. Maybe as they were snuggled up on their couch, under blankets, as they watched those stupid Christas movies that he knows she loves. This trail of thoughts is a dangerous one, he’s aware. Luckily Amy herself comes to his rescue, her laughter shattering whatever parallel universe his mind was forming. Of course he laughs along even though he can safely say that he doesn’t know what he’s laughing at. Alone the sound of her laugh is enough to make him want to join. She’s contagious like that - in every way imaginable.

“Hey, Jake?”

She stops and him likewise. “Yeah?”

He turns around to catch her looking longingly at the building they’re currently in front of; a nicely decorated little café. “This place has the best cocoa. Wanna get some? My treat - now that you’re missing out on the party because of me.” She looks back at her partner for some kind of approval, shyly tugging her hair behind her ears in the process and there’s no way Jake can say no - even if he wanted to. The light coming from the café creates an aura-like effect around her figure and Jake swears to himself that she’s an actual angel.

“Sounds good. Mostly because you’re paying,” he manages to snap out of his daydream just in time to come off as nonchalant, teasing, and the two enter the warmth of the café. Inside it’s buzzing with families and couples celebrating the season in each other’s company, and Jake briefly wonders if that will ever be him sitting with a toddler in his lap, allowing it to taste its first hot cocoa as him and the mother witness it with wide smiles on their faces? And with who? Sophia, maybe? Or maybe- no. Definitely can’t go there.

“Two hot dark chocolate with marshmallows, please.”

“Dark?” Jake frowns suddenly back in present time where Amy has made it her task to order their drinks.

“Yeah, they have different kinds but the dark is the best. Trust me.”

“With my life.”

They share a smile and to everyone else in that room, or at least the ones that care enough to pay attention, they could be a couple - foolishly into each other. Before they know it they’re back outside in the cold, although they quickly forget as their respective cups of cocoa warms their hands, and soon after reach Amy’s apartment building. It feels like forever since they left the precinct, when actually, Jake notices when he checks his phone, it’s only been about an hour. Darkness does that to his already questionable sense of time.

His deed is done, he knows; Amy is home safe, and he can head back to the precinct and party with a bunch of people he doesn’t really care about. Or at least cares just a bit less about than Amy. Suddenly the urge to party, act like an idiot and get drunk surely doesn’t sound tempting - at all. Maybe it’s the few hours he’s spent hanging out alone with Amy; perhaps it’s the taste of dark hot cocoa stuck on his tongue, the one he’d moaned about “indeed being the best he’d ever had” just minutes ago… He can’t figure it out but something from within the last two hours has him hating the thought of being anywhere else but here with Amy. If he asked her to hang out outside in the snow, he would.

“So... “ Amy breaks the silence. “Thanks for walking me home… And the shirt and hoodie.You’ll have it back, washed and everything, tomorrow. Promise.”

Consistent as always, Jake thinks and smiles with amusement radiating from his eyes. “Yeah, I’m really going to need that back asap. It’s not like I have the exact same outfit, like times ten, at home… Like some cartoon animal.”

She laughs, throwing her head back and Jake feels the snow beneath him melt.

“Good to know.” She straightens back up, arms crossed to keep her warm, even though Jake is certain her smile must radiate enough warmth to keep them both warm.

“No worries.”

Silence swallows them and all there is to be heard is the sound of the forever and always buzzing Brooklyn; cars, people yelling, jingle bells, dogs barking and everything that makes Brooklyn oh so very Brooklyn.

“Sooo…” Amy shuffles on the spot nervously creating small patterns in the before solid snow. “Are headed back to the party? I bet Charles misses you.”

They share a chuckle, both well-knowing she isn’t joking.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right but... “ He hesitates to say it, nervously biting his lip as the hands in his pocket’s shuffle around for nothing at all. “I don’t think I’m gonna head back. I’m just gonna head home. Everyone’s probably all buzzed by now and I don’t think I’m up for the challenge of catching up.”

“Oh… I- uhm-”

The shuffling only grows worse and it’s as if the young woman can’t find peace, bit by bit aggravating the guilt she’s suddenly feeling - a guilt he’d never intended her to feel. “Jake, I’m so sorry if you felt like you had to skip the party to follow me home. You should've just stayed behind and had fun with everyone. I would’ve been just fin-”

“Ames.” He gently grabs her by the upper arms, stopping her from spiralling completely. “Shut up.” He makes sure to smile when he says it. “I’ve had way more fun hanging out with you than I would’ve with those bazillion strangers back at the precinct.”

He can feel her shoulders drop, relaxing, before she flashes back a smile. A snowflake lands on the very tip of her nose and Jake smiles even wider. Little does she know why. “First of all: bazillion is not a real number. Second of all: if it was then I don’t think that many people work at our precinct,” she argues with a glimt in her eye that matches the snowflakes on her face.

“How can you know if bazilion is not an actual number? A bazillion might be like.. 85?” He tilts his head in that challenging way he always does when he knows he’s got a point.

Silence.

“You might be one of the Nine-Nine’s best detectives but, my God,I swear sometimes you’re so stupid,” she finishes with an affectionate chuckles.

“No doubt.”

They both laugh it off and it’s so them, they both can’t help but think.

“Anyways… Feel free to say no, but wanna come up? We can finish our cocoas and watch a Christmas movie, maybe?”

There’s nothing he’d rather do. Without a doubt.

“I would like that.”

“Okay then,” she agrees and unlocks the door to her building. “I’m not watching ‘Die Hard’ though.”

“Aw, come on, Ames!” he whines.

“It’s not a Christmas movie and if you try to convince me otherwise, then I will prove you wrong. I have a list of arguments saved on my phone - solely for this very occasion.”

“Challenge accepted!”

They end up watching ‘Home Alone’ instead, huddled up on Amy’s couch with each their blanket and hot cocoa, a friendly distance between them, of course, and if you were to ask them, they both had the best Christmas party-evening. They laugh their way through the movie and each other’s company, no complications in sight, and how they both wish, deep down, that everyday could be like this.

The end.

❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄

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