#i just worry that one day ill wake up and its gone

[livingdeadvamp]

No offence but aside from better quality, why would someone choose Apple Music over Spotify?? I started a free trial for Apple Music to test in case anything happens to my Spotify Premium and ngl I hate it sm. The queue system is so weird 😭 AND IT DOESN'T HAVE DESERT SONG WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAV MCR SONGS AND COS I DONT HAVE AN IPHONE I CANT GET LOCAL FILES. BULLSHIT. FUCK APPLE MUSIC

[lieutnt]

a commission for @chxrrylime

beta/alpha!male reader x omega!john price x omega!simon "ghost" riley summary: price and ghost help you with your first rut after your sudden change from a beta to an alpha. warnings: nsfw, minors dni. omegaverse, brief illness, threesome, knotting, creampies. sorry for the delay on this! had it like 80% written by saturday and then i had a time the next few days. i got carried away with the word count so oops.

Price was normally resistant to others being assigned to his task force, but when your file found its way on his desk curiosity got the better of him. Not just because you were a Beta, although that did help his willingness to accept you, but because you filled a hole in the team. Your skills and training had rounded out the task force, being a Beta was an added bonus. 

There was still lingering doubt in Price’s mind, but weeks after you had joined and Gaz went into heat you offered to help. You had been the perfect carer - staying with him the entire time and making sure he was fed, hydrated and happy. Afterwards Gaz had privately gushed about you to the rest of the 141, unable to think of a time when his heat had gone so smoothly. You had repeated the process with Soap and Price, both getting to experience your gentle touch first hand, and even Ghost had let you help him.

After months of working with the team Price had begun to notice some changes in your behaviour. You were more on edge when the 141 worked with other soldiers, hesitating to leave them alone if an Alpha was in the room. He picked up on you offering the others food from your own plate if they complained they were still hungry, despite the fact that you’d barely even finished half of yours. You even began developing a stronger scent, something different from when you had first joined.

Worry filled his mind when one day Gaz & Soap had barged into his office, panicking about how they couldn’t wake you. Once Price had joined them in running to your room he was immediately calling for a medic, your body covered in a sheen of sweat, barely responsive to their attempts at rousing you. They each took their turns pacing outside your room once you had been taken to a hospital, the doctor’s unsure what was happening to you. You had stayed like that for days, a fever wracking your body and unconscious as change forced its way through your veins.

Price had been elated when he received the phone call that you were awake, but once the 141 had gathered at the hospital they were ushered into a separate room before they could see you. A doctor was already waiting for them, a look of concern on her face. 

An Alpha. They couldn’t wrap their head around it, you had changed into an Alpha. The doctor had tried to explain how in very rare cases something like this can happen but they were too shocked to absorb anything she was explaining. Soap & Gaz appeared unbothered, more concerned with wanting to see you but one look between Price and Ghost and they knew they were thinking similarly.

Filing into your room they were hit with a wave of pheromones you didn’t know you were releasing, a deep down part of them stirring when your scent immediately turned relaxed at seeing them, Soap and Gaz not hesitating to give you hugs as Ghost lingered on the outside of the group while Price simply placed a hand on your shoulder, “It’s good to see you lad,” he said, attempting to bury the worry threading through his mind.

The doctors advised you be taken back to your home base so that’s what they did, alongside the thought that they’d have to explain certain things to you. You weren’t dumb - you knew how Alphas worked, but knowing and doing were two very different things. You had to rely on someone else telling you when you were stinking up the room with Alpha smell, or when you easily slipped back into your old routine except this time it appeared more like courting than caring, and Price and Ghost, as the most experienced, could see how your new heightened senses were weighing on you, struggling in the presence of four omegas.

—

Waking up you were confused at your state, your senses acting as if they had a personal vendetta against you, and you were even more confused when Gaz had taken one look at you and escorted you back to your room as if you were a scared animal, telling you to sit while he fetched Price. 15 minutes later Price and Ghost stepped through your door, shutting it behind them as Price sat next to you. “Do you know what’s happening lad?”

You didn’t know, brain struggling to conjure up any ideas without being distracted by the smell of omega. Swallowing heavily, you shook your head, “No sir.”

Ghost spoke up, “Think you’re going into rut.” He remained leaning against the wall, gaze locked on you.

Brows furrowing you used what brain power you had left to think it over. It matched with the experiences you had heard from other Alphas, but- “I don’t have anything prepared,” you mumbled, brain ticking with what would follow the next few days.

Price had a faint smile on his face, hand resting on your shoulder for reassurance. “We know, which is why, if you want, we think it’s our turn to help you.”

The air sharpened with arousal and you heard Ghost’s faint scoff of laughter, “Think he likes that idea, boss.”

Price’s hand slid from your shoulder to around the back of your neck, forcing you to turn your head and face him. “Only if you want,” he reiterated, thumb gently stroking the back of your neck.

Blood was already pooling south, your cock twitching in its confines at the idea of having them both underneath you. You didn’t realise you had been thinking about it for so long until Price briefly tightened his grip, bringing you back to the present. Nodding your head eagerly, your eyes flicked between Price and Ghost, “Please.”

—

Sinking into Ghost’s hole felt nothing short of heavenly, the warmth of his walls pulsing to ease your way in and steadily melting your brain, your mouth dropping open to release an airy moan once you were buried as deep as you could go. Just enough awareness was flickering behind your eyes to start slow, gently rocking your hips while Ghost adjusted to the stretch of your cock. 

Price was by your side, cautiously watching your movements to make sure you didn’t go too rough before Ghost was ready. As soon as your hips punched forwards unexpectedly Price was slanting his mouth against yours, distracting you from your impatience as Ghost grunted from the force. The smell of not one but two aroused omegas had your alpha preening, deepening the kiss with Price and lowly growling as your hand encased the back of his head to hold him close, only parting when Ghost began to roll his hips back and forth.

Your hands fell to Ghost’s hips, guiding his movements as each of your thrusts grew faster and harder until skin was slapping against skin, vision tunnelling as your pupils dilated, only focused on the omega around your cock and the breed, mate, instinct that was swirling in your mind.

Pushing Ghost down you surged over him, covering his body with yours as your teeth skated across his back, barely resisting the temptation to bite and mark him, to let the world know who he belonged to, whose bed he was warming. Price was by your side again, kissing at your neck and shushing your half-growls, attempting to soothe the possessive claim. His hands ran across your body, one stroking through your hair while the other never stopped moving, letting you know he was there.

Your pace never faltered, even as Ghost began warning you he was close, cock bobbing against his stomach at your thrusts while his moans grew faster and faster until his body seized, muscles trembling as he painted the bed under him with his release. Once out of the floating of his climax Ghost could feel the beginnings of your knot catching on his rim, the bulb steadily growing with each of your frantic thrusts as his knees buckled, sending him flat against the bed as the tension thrumming through your body finally snapped, knot punching its way past his rim and locking you together.

It was like a dam had burst, his insides flooded with your cum as your hips stuttered, a chest rattling growl crawling its way out of your throat. Despite the fact that you couldn’t thrust you instead grinded against Ghost, cock twitching with each pulse of cum that his fluttering walls milked from you. After a lifetime of minutely jerking your hips you finally slumped against Ghost, growls replaced with heavy breaths and a rumbling purr as you rolled to your side, bringing Ghost with you and hugging him to your chest. Burrowing your nose into the back of his neck your alpha was temporarily satiated at your scent mixing with Ghost’s.

Faintly, you heard Price speak up. “You ok Simon?”

Ghost was breathing as heavily as you, voice hoarse and dry, “Mhm, just-” he gasped almost silently as your hips twitched, knot tugging against his rim, “full,” he huffed, bearing his teeth as you began to grow restless.

Price’s attention quickly switched to you, hand wiping the sweat-coated hair off your forehead, “What’s the matter lad?” After attempting and failing to pull out of Ghost your hand hurried downwards, finger prodding at his tightened rim until it could push inside and separate you enough to pull your knot out. As much as you wanted to lean down and tongue your cum back into his hole your brain had other ideas, body surging up to Price and licking into his mouth while you pushed him onto his back, pupils blown wide.

Price watched curiously as you nipped down his throat and chest, “Gotta breed you,” you slurred, eyes half-lidded and cock hard and ready between your legs. He released a steadying breath, hole twitching at your eagerness.

His head rolled back on his shoulders as two of your fingers poked at his entrance, easily sliding in with the preparation you had done earlier and the mixture of his own slick. Before you could get too lost and overstimulate him and yourself Price pulled you back up to his lips with a hand in your hair, ignoring the noise of discontent you made and kissing you again, reaching down to align your tip with his hole. If it was another time and place he would’ve laughed at how easily you crumbled, but as your cock slipped inside him he groaned against your mouth, letting his body rock with your thrusts.

—

When Price and Ghost first emerged from your room once your rut was over Soap and Gaz tried their best to look unfazed, pointedly ignoring the way they were both stretching out sore muscles. “He ok?” Gaz asked, eyes attempting to search for you and noticing your absence.

Price nodded, “Just showering.”

Always the bolder of the two Soap couldn’t help but question, “How was it?” At Gaz’s pointed look he shrugged, “As if ye weren’t wonderin’.”

Price huffed amusingly, fingers scratching through his sideburns, “Think we’ll have our hands full with him.”

[charliemwrites]

Awooooooo!

Content: Voyeurism, Dog Urination, Implied Non-Con Touching

Your dog is weird. Just.. just weird. Like, all dogs are weird. They have their quirks and their oddities, silly babies in fluffy bodies.

Johnny though…

He snuggles up in your bed every night; you don’t even bother trying to kick him out. He’s presses up tight against you, head almost on your pillow. Have to start sleeping in a shirt because one too many unfortunately placed cold nose bumps…. Yeah. But that’s fine. The fuzzy space heater is worth it.

(So what if you sort of wake up sometimes and half-dream its skin you’re snuggled up to. If you imagine a more human rasp to the quiet snores by your ear. If the tongue on your cheek is softer and smaller than you’re used to….

Your dating life has been dry for some time.)

Johnny pees in every room of your house at least once, but that’s not entirely surprising - he’s an intact male, after all. (Something you’re trying to, heh, fix. Though the appointment mysteriously keeps getting moved or cancelled.) thankfully, though, once he’s “marked his territory” he starts asking to go outside.

And that’s where the weirdness begins.

The first time you let him out off leash, he shoots off into the woods and only returns once he’s done. You panic, feel so stupid and irresponsible, near tears by the time he gets back. When he sees you upset, say on the porch steps, he darts to your side and leans into you until you calm down.

You stop worrying so much about his little “trips”. Means you dont have to clean up after him to keep the yard tidy after all.

The first time he bounds off into the woods and doesn’t come back after a few minutes, you almost go searching. But.., but well he’s a good boy. An hour later he comes back, scratching at the door.

You’re not sure what he’s up to and it makes you anxious. Don’t like the idea of an “outdoor” dog. All of yours have been in-home pets kept in sight at all times. You’re scared Johnny’s going to get hurt or bitten or hit by a car.

But he always comes back healthy whole.

One hour turns into two, then three. Entire mornings, only returning in the evening to climb into bed. Eventually a whole day. You have someone install a doggy door big enough for Johnny to slip through so that he can come and go as he pleases.

You get used to having a pet that’s only around sometimes, though you sniffle that you miss him when he’s gone. As if understanding, he’ll always lick at you, comforting.

The other weird thing - he demands to climb into bed while you’re doing “self care”. Again, dogs don’t get human social boundaries. He’s allowed on the bed so why is it that he wouldn’t be allowed up even if it’s not bedtime? It’s understandable dog logic, even if you have to stop the first several times it happens.

Keeping him out isn’t an option. Even if you manage to shut the bedroom door on him before he wriggles inside, he makes such a ruckus. Barking, howling, knocking over the trash and scratching at the door. You almost step directly into a puddle of pee once.

You just keep the lights off, close your eyes, and try to ignore the odd brush of fur or gust of air from his nose. Pretend he’s not there at all; and not staring the way he tends to.

Not getting off just isn’t an option. You make your peace with your dog too dumb to even turn away.

(You also learn very quickly to wash your toys as soon as you’re done. Can’t even wait to catch your breath. Calling him nasty makes his tail wag. You know it’s not reasonable to think he’s doing it on purpose.)

“Johnny, drop it!”

Instead of doing that, he drops his front half low, a lacy black pair of underwear in his teeth. He snatched it right out of your laundry basket while you were trying to start the washer.

“I’m going to turn you into a pair of boots. Put those down!”

Chasing a giant wolf-dog for your panties is ill-advised but what are you gonna do? Let him shred your underwear?

“I wanted to wear those out tonight, you bastard!”

You’re supposed to have a date. At this rate, you won’t even be able to shower, never mind get ready. Johnny’s been a nuisance all day, ever since you got off the phone with your mom this morning, updating her about your life and plans for the evening.

Determined, you give up and go to finish the laundry - only to hear a crash and a yelp. Johnny’s knocked over the mirror and stepped in the glass.

“Oh, baby boy,” you groan. “Dammit, John-Bon.”

You text your date for a rain check, then call ahead for the emergency vet. Huh… your first aid kit is much better stocked than you remember.

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Masterlist

[kaerumi]

Hello dear, I was wondering if you can do some yandere for the very infamous OP men shanks, mihawk,ace,and sabo with normal y/n who's younger than them in separate senariors..

Y/N traits : innocent, sweetheart, warm personality, enchanted beauty with extremely cutie pie face and amazing warm and calm voice that melts the snow from its sweetness it's make anyone feel at ease only by hearing it , it's one of the most reasons why those men had gone insane over her ,why they want to possess her at any cost .

TY and have a good day ☺️.

TW/CW: Yandere, Age gap is up to 3 years, obsession, implied murder, implied poisoning, mention of murder & arson, manipulation (for Sabo)

Notes: I'll be honest I have no clue how to do an innocent reader. And it's gonna be GN Sorry I don't particularly do Female readers Also sorry for not writing in so long :^

Shanks

Shanks was a popular Model, he can flirt with anyone without hesitation.

Then there was you, you weren't popular at all. When he saw you he felt the urge to just... Take you.

He felt jealous of the guys around you that soaked in your attention, in your voice and innocence and especially your beauty.

He just needed it. Needed you.

Eventually he started obsessing over you trying to find every photo there was of you, eventually it got worse

Just hope for both your innocence and sanity you don't meet him.

Until you did.

And suddenly you started to notice people around you get killed, you somehow trusted the red bloody haired man with your safety.

"You'll be fine I'm here after all! All you need is me sweetheart."

After all what did you know?

You're innocent after all

And that's what made Shanks' job of getting you to be his more easier.

Mihawk

Mihawk was a famous swordsman and you were always interested in swords so naturally you took interest in Mihawk.

Unfortunately he took a interest in you as well.

You ended always staying behind the classes because of how much trouble you had with sword, you'd have small conversations with Mihawk.

Slowly Mihawk started to know everything about you and wrote of it down in a notebook that was always locked in a case.

When someone annoyed you too much or confessed to you they suddenly would fall ill and be unable to attend.

Due to Mihawk naturally being cold people didn't notice anything different about him and you didn't know better.

Though you slowly started to blame yourself because people around you would get ill and naturally they ended up dying to the illness.

"My dear... It's not your fault, they naturally fell ill. It is not your fault and anyone who is saying such things is a horrible person who is just jealous. It is unfortunate they fell ill yes but there was nothing you could do. My dear..."

You never knew why they fell ill, and you may never know.

Maybe it's better if you never did anyways.

Ace

Ace was Ace, he's a popular play boy in the town but all he did was flirt and play with hearts.

That was before you came along.

He knew he needed you once first meeting your eyes.

You were most certainly more cuter than anyone else's hearts he's played with.

He wasn't gonna break your heart, no. He could never, he was gonna make sure he was the only one in your heart not matter what he had to do.

He would do whatever you wanted to do or needed.

He'd gladly kill with no hesitation.

Want him to stab that guy who catcalled you? Done.

Want him to burn down a place that has bad memories? Done before you could mention it.

No one went near Ace when the missing people news started getting known, knowing how cold he got when it came to that, they tried to warn you how cold he could be.

You always laugh it off and hang out with him anyways.

He'd act like nothing was happening.

Why read the news when you already know it before anyone else?

You wake up from your nap when you started hearing the news "Mmmh?" Ace turns off the Tv "Don't worry about it my love just go back to sleep."

Sabo

Sabo was the second in command of a powerful business.

Once you joined everything changed.

However unlike the other three Sabo wouldn't kill, no. Sabo wouldn't want his hand or gloves dirty and blood stains too.

Sabo would figure out your favorite things to do and food and everything and give it all to you.

He'd spoil you with everything you'd ever wanted.

He'd help you with a lot of things

He sublely manipulates you into being dependent on him and him alone.

No one would dare go near you if they cared for their job or reputation.

No one went near Sabo either, Sabo didn't mind this, it just meant he could give all his attention to you.

He tested it once day by hiding on purpose.

When you realized Sabo wasn't there you got really nervous and got a bit upset, until Sabo popped

 up and helped you again which you immediately calmed down when he did.

Sabo smiled at you, he was glad that his plan was working and working well.

"Please don't leave me alone..." "I promise I won't ever again my angel..." "Thank you Sabo." "Anything for you. My sweet Angel."

[macsimagines]

Yandere!Mikey w/ a S/O that had his child

ASKBOX IS OPEN

(So for this set of headcanons its for a Mikey thats been consumed by his dark impulses and has probably lost everyone... ALSO PLEASE tell me what you think? I work better when I'm given notes so any complaints or compliments ill take!)

(D/N) - Daughters Name (Y/N) - Your Name

You were supposed to be a one night stand. He wasn't even going to give you the time of day. You were some secretary or pencil pusher and he was making deals (harassing) your boss.

But you catch his eye, and your boss has you entertain him to make things go smoother.

Thankfully, you two hit it off. Mikey can be charming despite his horrible reputation and you've got such beautiful kind eyes...

One thing leads to another and one unforgettable night you two have sex.

Mikey doesn't call you or contact you after that, and you can take the hint that it didn't mean anything more than just a way to relieve stress.

That would be all fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that you were puking your guts out and happened to be pregnant.

You can't depend on Mikey, you don't think he'll accept your child and you really don't want them involved in the underworld that Mikey controls.

So you move out of Tokyo to distant family in a different town. You get a job, have your wonderful child and live peacefully in a small town.

Four years down the road, you end up back in Tokyo with your daughter. You owed a friend a favor and you're not too worried.

Your Daughter might be Mikey's clone but Tokyo is a big city and he's a busy man. He must have had countless women before he's not going to recognize your face out of a million others. Plus its been years. You should be safe right?

Wrong. You wake up one morning and (D/N) is gone. You're frantic searching for her, so confused where she could have gone from your friends apartment when it hits you: The Park!

Sprinting over there you're met with a sight you never thought you'd see. Mikey holding your fidgeting daughter in his arms.

If not for the terrifying look in his eyes the scene is almost comical.

The two of them together look like a before and after picture because of how similar they are.

"Y/N, you wanna explain this?" he asks you, and you're more shocked he remembered your name than anything else.

You try to pull it together, you don't want to cause a scene in front of your daughter.

"Th-that's my daughter. She ran off this morning and I've been looking for her."

He tilts his head to the side while he looks you up and down, placing your little girl on his hip.

"Don't you mean our daughter?" there's something dark in his voice and down right malevolent in his eyes.

Panic rises in your chest and you look down at the ground. "I just...I wanted her to be safe. I-I didn't think you'd care."

Your sweet Daughter whimpers for you, not understanding who this strange man is or why he's making her mommy so upset.

"You thought I wouldn't acknowledge my own child? Am I that kind of man to you?"

Silence stretches between you before you finally get the courage to say; "How did you even find us?"

Mikey just stares and holds your girl close before answering; "I heard you were in town. I came looking for you, and found her. Guess this is fate."

What you didn't know was that Mikey did want you, he wanted you so bad it almost drove him crazy. He tried to keep his distance and ignore you, and just when he can't take it anymore he finds out you moved away?

That's fine. It wasn't meant to be. But he had eyes and ears out for you if you ever came back to him. If you willingly walked back into the lions den that must mean you want him to have you.

He hears your back, with a daughter, and that's not a problem. If you have a husband he'll make sure you don't anymore and he doesn't mind a brat, you'll give him some of his own and that will make up for it.

So he goes looking for you, and he's almost to the apartments he knows you're staying at when a little girl catches his eyes. For a second he thought he hallucinated a mirror, but no staring up at him is his own face.

In his heart he knows who this girl is. And he's mystified when she starts talking to him.

"How come the sun's so bright?" she asks him for whatever insane reason.

And the empty abyss in his chest is suddenly full of love and affection. She's perfect. He had a perfect daughter now. Mikey embraces and tells her as much. That she's wonderful and beautiful and so loved.

Then you come sprinting towards them and Mikey suddenly remembers you kept her from him.

Back to the present, he thinks if this had been anyone else he would have killed them. But its you. And thankfully you raised the perfect child and gave him a healthy daughter, so he can't be too mad. He'll take it out on some underlings that left out very important details...

"I'll take responsibility," he tell you grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you so you're face to face, "And you will too, Y/N. We're gonna raise a very happy family. And you're going to give me a very big one. Lots of kids." one for every person he's ever lost.

[jamil-s-wifey]

Hello :3 Can I get a long scenario with my dearest Jamil?

I really love him so much >///< so here is my scenario, I hope you can accept

Jamil got sick and has a fever. MC stayed beside him and nursed him for 3 days without blinking and finally he recovered. He started to remember her care during his illness after his fever dropped. And when he woke up, MC hugged him tightly. A bit long, huh? 😅 I would be happy with little NSFW, not gonna lie.

Well hello there, fellow Jamil enthusiast~ It has certainly been a hot minute, hasn't it? It is my utmost pleasure to present you with the *long-awaited* scenario at hand! A bit of NSFW, some heart-warming fluff and Jamil finally getting a GODDAMN break, coming right up! It's not full on NSFW, just a lil bit, as requested, I don't know why it turned out like that- still, I hope this is good! (Tbh, it fits the scenario)

P.S. This hit close to home, I used to be a very sickly child and I still catch all sorta sicknesses a lot easier than normal people. So, what he will experience here is all based on very PERSONAL and very SALTY experience. 🙃

"What am I gonna do with you? You can't keep pushing yourself so much!" You murmured, pressing a cold cloth to Jamil's forehead as he slept soundly.

.......

Jamil hated being sick. Pretty normal right? Everybody hates being sick.

But to Jamil, sickness meant pushing through and continuing with his chores, regardless of his wellbeing. Imagine cooking above a hot stove with a high temperature. Can't be pleasant, can it?

But even the hardest stones could crack under enough force - such is the way the world works. It was towards the end of the day, as Jamil was preparing Kalim's dinner, when he felt his body give out under him. All day he'd been going around with a fever, he felt as if his own body was rotting on the inside, screaming at him to stop and have a break. His eyes were watery and felt as though they were burning in his eye sockets.

He couldn't even reach a chair to sit, before his knees buckled and he fell to the floor - too dizzy and too weak. Rarely did he ever get this sick, but this time it was bad. He moved to a more comfortable position and remained like that, trying to gather enough strength to get some medicine..... He most certainly didn't realise he'd fallen asleep, too tired to move, nor did he hear Kalim's worried voice when he found him on the floor in the kitchen.

And Kalim? Kalim was terrified! Quickly he called on his dorm members to move him to his room and immediately called you, crying on the phone, worried that Jamil might never wake up. (That's not how colds work, Kalim-) Worried about Jamil, you immediately rushed to the Scarabia dorm, medicine in hand.

_____________

And now here you are, in the present, taking extensive care of your near delirious not-quite-boyfriend-but-kinda-love-interest. He'd occasionally wake up and exchange barely audible pleasantries with you, drink his "extra healthy and full of good stuff" chicken soup (whatever that was supposed to entail) and then fall back into slumber. His fever has gone down drastically, but the utter exhaustion left in its wake has kept him bedridden. Apparently it was a seasonal fever, which just so happened to hit Jamil, who in turn chose to ignore it in the beginning.

You'd taken the liberty to remain situated in his room for about three days.

Day one was the worst - high fever, clattering teeth and a sleepless night to boot. You'd change his shirt every time he'd drench it in sweat whilst fighting off the fever. You'd switch up the cloth every time it lost its cooling effect, you'd remained by his side the entire time, least he needed something anything at all.

"Once you get better, I'm so gonna yell at you for not taking better care of yourself.... You're lucky I love you." You'd mumbled, barely audible in the quiet of the room as he slept.

Day two was better - he slept through most of it and you could in turn prepare some soup, as well as cover most of his chores, get a pass from the teachers AND even leave him some of your notes for when he recovers. (Look at you go! He'd better propose imo)

Now, on day three he was evidently much healthier. Finally he gave up trying to get out of bed, and instead lay resting, drinking his medicine, feeling utterly pampered by you.

_____________

"How long have you...been here?" You seemed pretty tired in his eyes. The moment you heard his voice you immediately threw yourself gently on him, gently crushing his bones in a hug.

"A while." You responded, face buried in his chest. In reality, you hadn't had a proper night of sleep in about 3 days. You DID sleep, Kalim even prepared a guest bedroom, but you chose to remain next to Jamil for most of the time. "Do you know how worried I was?"

"You didn't have to do all this, you know? You could've get sick too."

"I could've, but I haven't. For somebody with such a keen eye and monstrous deliberation, you really don't know how to take care of yourself properly." You quipped back, moving to sit on the bed next to him.

"As, so I'm being reprimanded now." His gaze softened. "Thank you....for taking care of me these last few days... I've forgotten what it's like to not have to worry or do anything... I feel like I've slept a lifetime... I don't know how I could possibly return the favour."

You can't stay mad at him. He knows it, you know it. Hell, even the Great Seven know it.

"Return it by recovering completely."

He chose not to continue the conversation. He knew arguing was pointless.

"You know, while I was sleeping, or trying to, I was mostly aware of what was happening around me." He began, pushing himself up, in a sitting position. "When you'd quietly hum to yourself, or cuss when you couldn't find something..."

"Ah- well, did you now? Sorry if you had a difficult time falling asleep because of me. " you felt your cheeks warm up a bit.

"No no, please. It's fine. You've taken such good care of me. I just... couldn't help but hear something, which perhaps I wasn't meant to."

He reached out, tangling his hand in your hair.

"Something about you loving me?"

...

Nope, all that heat in your cheeks? Gone. Now it was just coldness and dread.

He saw your frazzled state and chuckled. "I guess I'm really lucky, to have you to take *such* good care of me, huh."

He leaned in, but stopped just centimetres away.

"I shouldn't."

You heart dropped even lower, if that was even possible.

"I could get you sick.~" There was a lilt to his voice, but his eyes showed concern.

"Oh, for fuck's sake-" you leaned in, smashing your lips onto his. He smiled into the kiss, pulling you towards him.

Naturally, you moved to sit in his lap, his hands moving to your waist.

"Your feelings are returned, for the record." He mumbled in between heated kisses. The more heated the kisses became, the more his hands would wander until-

In the blink of an eye, he flipped you over, so that you were underneath him. Skillfully he unbuttoned the first few buttons of your uniform, revealing more of your neck and collarbones. "I think I have a way of returning the favour. You took such good care of me, I think it's my turn~"

His attention moved to your neck, leaving heated languid kisses and playful bites on your skin. His hand trailed down to spread your legs, moving between them. Every single touch of his was intoxicating. Pretty quickly your shirt was thrown on the floor, the supple flesh underneath - covered in hickeys.

"Are you not going to undress as well? Or should I do that for you?" you asked, breathless, yet teasing in manner. Well. As teasing as one could get, given how achingly turned on you were. "Like you didn't have more than enough time to appreciate the view, during these last few days." he teased right back, but his hands moved to grip the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time." He practically purred, fingers gliding over your stomach, gently trailing lower and lower.

"Of course, you can tell me to stop anytime."

"I don't want you to."

"As you wish, my dear. Then I'll make sure to indulge, taking, tasting, touching every single part of you. "

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just made myself a cup of a new tea, one from a set that a friend sent me. I was super curious to try it with and without milk in it, so after I take a sip without, I'm going to add milk to my tea.

That may seem like such an inane little story to post on a blog, unless you have an eating disorder. I'm sure many of you know what a big deal milk in tea can be, and what an important act of self-love it is.

It was poured into many of our ears, approaching teenhood in the mid-2000's, not to "drink our calories." For those of us whose restriction was weight-based, many of us practiced filling ourselves with water, with our coffee black and unsweetened whether that was how we liked it or not, and with tea that never contained milk.

Like many people who've struggled with binge eating and with restriction, I struggle with creating anxiety-inducing rules about when is okay to eat, especially if I'm between meals and worrying if I should allow myself a snack, or if it's okay to quench my thirst with anything other than water. This is especially true between meals. For some reason my brain has accepted the "extra" caloric intake as part of a meal, but still balks at the idea of introducing these things independently into non-meal parts of the day. I would like to note that my chronic illness and my body's reaction to food has also influenced this weird relationship between me and my favorite treats, such as a piece of candy, or a beverage that might happen to contain a greater-than-zero calorie count.

But tonight, before bed, I want to try this tea. And it sounds like one that'd be super tasty with milk, as it has cocoa powder and vanilla in the blend. So I let my tea cool in the room with me as I type this, telling myself that I can get up and go back for milk after I taste it.

Now I have gone to the kitchen.

Now I have poured in a splash of milk and tasted. It's soy milk, as regular milk sometimes hurts my stomach and I don't want my sleep to be disrupted. Due to my chronic illness, this is still something I have to think about, and I'll be honest, I hate it. Things like this make it so hard to tell myself I can let go of my food fears, because my brain knows that some of my food fears will turn out to have validity, and so what if they all do?

Now I have poured in another splash. Tasted.

Now I have poured in a third, much larger splash. Tasted.

Oh, this is it. This tea tastes like a warm dessert. But now it's too cool, so I need to microwave it back to its best heat. I used to not want to microwave my food. As a teen I heard a hippie say that microwaves destroy the nutrients in your food because the radiation breaks down their molecular structure. This is absolutely false. In fact, it's been disproven that microwaves break down nutrients any more than other methods of heating food, but for a long time I believed it. And even after I learned the truth, I still found it hard to convince myself it was okay to use microwaves for a very long time.

I have just finished my tea in my room. I took the time to identify that I wanted it. I took the time to truly taste it in several different ways, consider how I felt I wanted it and bring it to those specifications. It wasn't planned for any specific time or day, but I agreed to give myself this the way I wanted it anyway. I've been drinking my coffee with milk every morning, too. I actually like black coffee, but I like it better with milk. And I give myself things throughout the day that I enjoy, to enhance my experience of my existence. Life is hard, and it's okay to allow yourself, to the fullest extent you can, the small joys that bring you through the day.

I wanted to share this with you. I hope you don't feel the crushing weight of morality when staring at a bottle of regular soda and the sugar-free, when you wake up with your morning coffee, when your self-care regimen includes a cup of tea. I hope you practice actively giving yourself the love you need this week. And I hope you give it to yourself exactly the way you need it.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

https://gofund.me/49a66e95 paypal.me/maiabuhamda

save us from the suffering of war and the burdens of life

Hello my friends, I'm Mai from Gaza. Before the war, my life was full of energy and joy. I was working in marketing, and I absolutely loved my job. Every new project made me feel accomplished. Hanging out with my friends gave me positive energy throughout the day, and everything was stable and peaceful. Life was simple and beautiful, full of safety and stability, and we were living happily without worrying about what the future might bring.

After the war, everything turned upside down. We were forced to leave our home suddenly, with nothing but the clothes on our backs. Before our eyes, we watched our memories and dreams shatter; everything dear to us was lost in an instant. We lost everything—our money, our jobs, our future, and all that we had worked so hard for was gone. That moment was more than my mind could handle; I felt like I was going to lose it from the shock and the enormity of what had happened to us.

My mother’s health was already in a very poor state even before the war because she has a heart device implanted. The medications she needs are not always available, and when we do find them, they are extremely expensive, making it difficult for us to afford them consistently. My brother also suffered a severe injury to his hand, requiring 80 stitches, which demands ongoing care and essential medications for his recovery. He also needs surgery on his hand to restore it to its previous condition. The health conditions of my mother and brother have been a significant burden on us, especially with the difficult circumstances we are living in.

The cost of basic and daily necessities has become extremely high. Food is not always available, and when we do find it, it's incredibly expensive. Most of the food we can get is canned, and shampoo and soap cost around $30 if we can even find them. Life has become exhausting and expensive—we struggle to eat, barely manage to drink, and meet our basic human needs with great difficulty. From early morning, I search for food and water, and if I find them, the prices are astronomical, allowing us to buy only a little. This life is filled with suffering, and I plead to God for salvation, and I ask those with a conscience to help save what remains of our spirit.

We are suffering from a severe shortage of everything—food, water, healthcare, medications, and basic living conditions. Sleep has become nearly impossible with the constant drone of noise above our heads. For the past 10 months, we’ve been struggling, constantly moving from place to place in search of safety. We wake up early just to fetch water that isn’t even safe to drink, just so we can use it. Life has become harder every day because we have no income to cover our needs, and if we do have any income, it doesn’t even cover 10% of our basic necessities. The situation has become unbearable, and with each passing day, the suffering and pressure increase.

The health conditions have become extremely difficult, with diseases, insects, and garbage everywhere. If you get sick, you can't go for treatment because medications are not available in the hospitals. This means you either die from illness at home or from the bombing. The situation is very hard, and the scarcity of medicines and their high prices are exhausting. The hardest thing is seeing your loved ones suffer in pain, and you're unable to help them because of the lack of medicine. I don't want much from life, only to live with a basic level of humanity that we were created for, and to be able to provide the simplest things for my loved ones, even if it's just a little.

We are in urgent need of your donations and support during these difficult times.

~

Please donate to this campaign by @maimohssin or share it if you can’t!

[khywren]

「 Garden of Eden : Chapter 2 」

summary: Tav shifts to adjust herself on the polished wood, the stone wall cool on her back even through the fabric of her tunic, a stark contrast to the heat she can feel thrumming through her entire body.

Astarion's gaze is fierce and unbroken as he rakes his eyes across the curves of her body - the hunger for her is evident in more ways than one, and she can feel it almost crackle between them like electricity.

Gods, what has he done to her to render her so senseless?

pairing: Astarion/f!Reader | Astarion/f!Tav rating: 18+ MDNI status: 6/10 tags/warnings: blood drinking, explicit sexual content, porn with plot, drunk sex, smut, toxic coping mechanisms, depictions of violence/abuse, hurt/comfort, mild angst, frenemies to lovers, word count: 2.7k spoiler warning: full story will contain spoilers for all 3 acts of the game.

a/n: chapters will be posted individually. crossposted from AO3. links to other chapters: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ◆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The next morning when Tav wakes, she finds that her entire body feels heavy. It requires a great effort just to sit up, and even then she still feels so exhausted.

There is a dull ache on the side of her neck, and when she reaches up to investigate, her fingers brush delicately over the puncture marks in her neck from -

Oh.

The events of the prior evening suddenly come flooding back to her, and she scrambles to remember everything that had happened. The pain, the pleasure, all of it. Astarion had bitten her at her behest, yes, but things had gotten out of hand, and he'd almost - although unintentionally - drained every drop of her blood. She glances around at the familiar walls of her own tent and realizes that Astarion must have brought her back after she lost consciousness.

He could have left her, but he hadn't. It’s a surprisingly touching gesture.

There's a bottled potion left to her bedroll - this, too, must be Astarion's doing. Tav uncorks the bottle and drinks the bitter liquid, ignoring its revolting flavor as she finds the strength returning to her limbs.

When she finally crawls out of bed and dresses for the day, she makes sure to cover her neck so no one will ask any prying questions. She's already lost enough of her dignity.

Gale is the first to greet her.

“A late riser, I see,” he says, almost a little too judgmentally. He presses a plate of lukewarm food and a mug of what looks to be an herbal tea into her hands. “Not quite as nourishing as the comforts back home, but such is the nature of life in the wilds. I hope you'll find it palatable nonetheless.”

Tav thanks him and sits in front of the dwindling fire to eat her breakfast. Shadowheart sits across from her, her expression that of profound concern as she gives Tav a once-over.

“You look pale. Are you ill?”

“Ahh...” Tav hesitates and stalls for time by shoveling a few bites of food into her mouth. Her eyes glance about the camp for Astarion, and she finds him at last, watching her from outside his tent, peering curiously at her from behind the pages of whatever book he's been reading.

He looks troubled. Is he worried that she will expose his secret?

“Just a long night,” Tav finally says half-truthfully, trying to seem nonchalant. “Still having a hard time adjusting to sleeping on the ground and all. But I'm fine, I promise.”

Astarion goes back to reading his book.

--------

The next several days pass without much incident. After dealing with a goblin ambush, the party is welcomed into the druid grove and learns about the druid Halsin, who's said to have gone missing while on a nearby expedition.

The party has agreed to find him in the hopes that he might be able to help mediate the situation between the tieflings and the other druids who are seeking refuge there as well.

After another afternoon of travel, Tav and her companions stumble into the ruins of the blighted village, which is practically crawling with goblins and other ilk. By nightfall, nothing but corpses remain, and the group gathers to rest in one of the more structurally sound buildings on the edge of the village.

Presently, Tav lays awake in her bedroll, restless and unable to sleep. Only a few feet away, Gale, Shadowheart, Wyll, and Lae'zel are all fast asleep, the sound of their snoring drifting through the small room.

Astarion, aloof as ever, is nowhere to be found. They've barely said a word to one another after that first night, and it's been bothering her tremendously. He'd told everyone about his... condition shortly after their evening in the woods, and they'd all been surprisingly accepting, considering they'd just been told they'd been traveling with a vampire.

Tav doesn't know what secrets the rest of them must be hiding to be so cavalier about it all, but at least it didn't cause too much of a commotion. She has a mind to go and find Astarion when he suddenly appears at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the second floor, slipping outside through the back entrance.

Not one to miss the opportunity, Tav rises and shoves on her boots before following him into the cool, crisp evening air.

“Astarion,” she calls out to him, jogging over to join him on the dirt path. He waits for her, brow lifted curiously.

“Don't worry,” he says dramatically, “I'm not doing anything nefarious. You can go back to sleep.”

He's being more frigid than usual, and Tav considers walking away, but this can't continue on for any longer. The friction between them has become almost unbearable.

“I didn't suggest you were,” she says. “Can I walk with you? There's something I'd like to discuss.”

Astarion nods curtly and starts off down the path. Tav follows him, and in the minutes that pass an awkward silence hangs over them as she considers how to broach the subject at hand.

“So,” Astarion says casually. “You want to talk.” He continues his leisurely pace, his posture slouched and indifferent.

“Yes,” Tav replies. “I know things between us have been strained lately, since... well, you know.” She sounds sheepish, hesitant. Before she continues, she clears her throat to diffuse the tension.

“I just wanted to clear the air. We still need each other while we have these parasites to deal with, after all.”

Astarion quirks a brow at her and cocks his head to the side.

“Wonderful. I see you haven't completely lost your wits,” Astarion says sourly. It's clear that something is bothering him. “But that makes it such a shame that you can't be honest with me about how you really feel.”

Tav halts in her tracks, taken aback by the sudden accusation.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“Don't be coy, dear,” Astarion replies coolly. “It's obvious, isn’t it? You're afraid of me.”

“I - I'm not afraid,” Tav says vehemently. She turns to look at him, but his expression remains impassive. He's serious.

She scoffs incredulously. “I'm here, aren't I? I would be much safer in my bedroll if I truly thought that you would harm me.”

Again, she almost adds, but thinks better of it. 

Astarion clicks his tongue. “That's all well and good,” he says with a dismissive flick of his wrist, “but that doesn't explain the way you've been avoiding me in camp. Stupidity and bravery are two sides of the same coin, after all.”

Tav's eyes widen at the incrimination, and she averts her gaze. She has no answer for him.

“Oh yes,” Astarion jeers, “I've noticed how closely you sit next to Wyll and Gale around the fire. If one didn't know any better, one might assume you were nurturing your affection for them. But we both know that isn't the case, now, is it?”

Of course it isn't. The first night after Astarion had fed on her, Tav had been unable to calm her nerves as the sun set and bathed their camp in darkness. After Gale had lit the fire, she had cozied up to him on his log, pretending that she was merely cold. When Gale had retired for the evening, Tav had slept fitfully in her own tent, her mind plagued by anxieties she couldn't seem to shake.

Despite the fact that nothing had happened - nor had Astarion said or done anything untoward her since - it gave Tav a pathetic sense of comfort to continue her nightly ritual. When Wyll had joined their party after they reached the druid grove, Tav had unabashedly sat with him as well.

She can picture what Astarion would have to say about it all, the voice in her head taunting her mercilessly. “Your stalwart protector. How very droll.”

But of course Astarion had noticed. It had probably been obvious to him what she was doing, even if she had been acting subconsciously. The guilt rises in Tav's throat like bile, and she feels suddenly ill.

“I... I'm sorry,” she apologizes weakly. “I didn't realize. I was... anxious, I think, more than anything.” Tav bites her lip but still refuses to look at him, instead keeping her eyes on the path ahead of them as they wander through the village.

“No need to apologize,” Astarion remarks with a shrug. “I am aware of what I am and all the implications that come with it. I'm sure they all had their reservations about me when they learned the truth.”

Tav steels her nerves for long enough to sneak a quick glance at him, and something in her chest tightens at the way his eyes darken and his lips curl back in a wry smile that betrays the thoughts behind his carefully crafted mask.

She hadn't meant to upset him, never considered that it would bother him so much. She doesn't even know why it bothers her so much either, aside from the fact that she doesn't want to cause anyone undue harm if she can help it.

“If it's any consolation,” she says earnestly, “I meant it when I said it wasn't your fault. When you were feeding on me, it was easy to let my mind slip away, and it felt...”

Astarion is watching her with rapt attention now, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Tell me,” he implores her to continue. “What was it like?” 

Truth be told, he's wanted to know what it felt like, to be feasted upon in such a manner. In the 200 years since his turning, he's long since forgotten the sensation, nor had he much time to consider it while choking down the congealed blood of so many putrid rats, courtesy of Cazador.

Presently, Tav's cheeks grow hot under his scrutiny as she considers the question.

“It was like nothing else I've ever felt,” she admits. “The closer I was to death, the more I felt alive. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.”

Astarion hums thoughtfully, his voice husky. “Really? You enjoyed it that much? And here I thought you were merely being generous by letting me have my fill of you.” 

He smiles slyly at her, clearly delighted by her admission and the way she shifts awkwardly beneath his gaze.

“Darling, you're more depraved than I gave you credit for.”

Tav cannot recall the last time she felt so flustered; between Astarion's not-so-subtle teasing and the truth she has been hiding even from herself, she fears she might disintegrate on the spot.

It would be the most merciful thing that could happen to her, really.

“Don't say it like that!” she bemoans, hiding her face in her hands. “You make it sound like I got off on it or something - which I most certainly did not,” she adds emphatically.

The amusement on Astarion's face suggests that he absolutely does not believe her.

“Look,” Tav says in a desperate attempt to save face, “all I'm saying is that I enjoyed it, and I'm sorry for being so weird about it. And if you wanted to, I thought that maybe... we could start over and try again. You can feed on me tonight, if you would like.”

Tav's offer is an unexpected surprise, but not an unpleasant one. He isn’t sure if she’s doing it because she wants to, or if she thinks it will remedy their situation, but he isn’t about to question her motivations.

“Darling,” Astarion practically purrs, “I thought you would never ask.”

--------

Astarion leads Tav into the remains of what appears to have once been someone's home, bits of destroyed furniture and other debris strewn about the floor in various heaps of disarray. A few silvery shafts of moonlight that filter in through several holes in the roof are the only source of light, bathing the place in an ethereal glow.

There is a desk in the far corner of the room, littered with papers and vials of ink; with a broad swipe of his arm, Astarion casts it all aside carelessly, and the vials shatter into a thousand tiny shards of glass that glitter like gems in the dappled moonlight.

Whether he is impatient or simply eager to have her again, Tav cannot say for certain.

However, when he lifts her effortlessly by the legs and pushes her back onto the desk before settling himself between her open thighs, Tav decides it doesn't matter. Just the thought of him piercing her throat again has her on edge, and the close proximity of his body against her own is almost too much for her to bear. His familiar citrusy scent envelopes her, and to her surprise it actually makes her feel strangely safe.

Tav shifts to adjust herself on the polished wood, the stone wall cool on her back even through the fabric of her tunic, a stark contrast to the heat she can feel thrumming through her entire body. Astarion's gaze is fierce and unbroken as he rakes his eyes across the curves of her body - the hunger for her is evident in more ways than one, and she can feel it almost crackle between them like electricity.

Gods, what has he done to her to render her so senseless?

He's gorgeous, yes, there isn't a single doubt about it, but there's something about the way he teases and openly flirts with her that she's grown to enjoy regardless of his sincerity. She begrudgingly admits that she's missed it these past few days.

But in this moment, none of that matters.

Tav meets his eyes and finds herself dizzy with anticipation, and her mouth falls open slightly. For a moment she thinks he might kiss her, his lips torturously close, but before she can close the distance Astarion nestles his face in the crook of her neck where her blood runs hot just beneath her flushed skin.

He unlaces the front of Tav's tunic with deft, expert fingers, just enough to allow him better access to her throat. He braces his hand on her thigh, steadying himself as he indulges in her warmth.

Tav almost whimpers with need, absentmindedly wrapping her calves around Astarion's legs and fisting her fingers in his tunic to pull him closer. A low, pleased noise rumbles in the back of his throat and he slides a hand under her tunic, digging his fingers into the bare skin at the small of her back and crushing her against him. 

“My, my... you're awfully eager this time, aren't you?” he muses playfully, the tips of his fangs grazing over her skin. The sensation is enough to make Tav's head spin.

Tav merely nods in ascent, connecting with his mind via their tadpoles when she finds the words too difficult to speak.

“Yes... Yes, please bite me, Astarion. I want this.”

“Normally I would caution you to exercise patience,” he murmurs into her neck, “but I am finding it exceptionally difficult to resist you.”

At last, he grants her wish and bites down on her neck, her blood as sweet as he remembers it. He drinks greedily, his tongue lapping at the punctures to encourage her blood to keep flowing.

Tav mewls pleasurably beneath him, her grip on him firm, a gesture that only encourages Astarion to continue to drink deeply from her veins. He will never tire of her blood, he thinks, not when it does such wonderful things to his body. 

When he feels Tav going slack beneath him, Astarion pulls his mouth away from her, gathering the blood left on his lips with a quick pass of his tongue so as not to waste a single drop. Even in her disheveled state, Tav looks absolutely splendid, her shirt open just enough for him to admire the swell of her breasts, and the delicious curve of her hips.

Tav pants lightly, her eyes half-lidded and dark with what Astarion can only attribute to some sense of satisfactory arousal, and he can't stop himself from wondering what the rest of her might taste like.

But there will be time to explore those possibilities later. As she is now, he knows she won't have the strength to fully enjoy anything further than this.

“Satisfied, my dear?” he asks her, offering a hand and helping her back onto her feet. She smooths her clothing back into place and laces her tunic back up with unsteady hands, a soft smile on her face.

“Oh, yes,” she says breathlessly, turning to face him. “But not as much as you, I should suspect.”

Astarion can't help but laugh. “Certainly not, love. Certainly not.”

[hockeynoses]

Happy Halloween! (a snz fic)

Male - cold, mess!, implied future contagion

~*~

He wakes up to sinuses that are absolutely packed with congestion. He’d gone to sleep last night with a tickle in his throat and a bit of a headache, but he certainly didn’t expect to wake up to this.

His nose starts streaming the second he sits up in bed, setting off a tickle deep in his nose. Still hazy from sleep and a head that feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton, he only manages to get his hand halfway to his face before erupting with a thick sneeze – “heh-nnggK’SHO!” that forces the gunk that had accumulated in his sinuses out, covering his hand in mess, the rest escaping into the air. He’s left with twin trails of clear liquid coating his upper lip as he shivers, dazed.

Leaning over to the nightstand, he thanks his past self for keeping a box of tissues stocked there as he pulls out several of them. He buries his face in the soft cotton and lets out a truly ill-sounding blow. The sound of it crackles through the air as more snot is dislodged, filling the bundle and soaking through to his hands.

He throws the ruined tissues to the floor and grabs the box, setting it next to him on the bed and pulling out fresh ones. His breath scissors in his chest before he snaps forward with a violent – “huh…ha-AHH’EEHGGSHH’IUE!” that explodes out of him.

He doesn’t dare remove the tissues from his face, groaning as he feels the wet mess of it against his skin. He gives a damp, clearing blow, strong enough to shift the pressure in his ears. He’s forced to breathe through his mouth as he crumples up the Kleenex and tosses them to the side.

I’m going to go through the whole box by noon, at this point, he thinks, flopping back onto his soft pillows. He rubs his knuckles against his itchy nose, already well on its way to becoming pink.

It fucking had to be today, he laments, allowing himself a small pity party. It’s Halloween, and he’d been planning on spending the day making treats for the party later tonight, as well as handing out candy to the trick or treaters. He’s just going to have to power through. Maybe it just seems worse because it’s still early and his body hasn’t had time to wake up yet.

As soon as he thinks it, his nostrils flare and he’s surprised by a wrenching double – “ha’GSSHH’IUE! Huh..ha’NGGSSHH’uh!” At the mercy of his own body and unable to cover in time, the viscous spray of it mists the sheets in front of him. “Ugh… oh god,” he groans, swiping at the mess on his face with his hand.

Remembering the box next to him, he pulls out a fistful of Kleenex and releases a gurgling, cold-ridden blow into the waiting tissues.

“Fugg, I don’t wadda be – heh… ha’ERRSSHH’IUE! – SNF. I don’t wadda be sigg today.” Noting the squishy pressure that still clogs his sinuses after so many clearing sneezes, he resigns himself to the fact that he most likely has come down with the cold from hell.

Yet, determined as he is, he’s not going to let it stop him from going on with his plans. He can still make the food for the party tonight, he’ll just have to be very careful about washing his hands and covering his sneezes. If he has to make them one-handed while holding a tissue to his dripping nose the whole time, then so be it.

He should be able to hide his illness enough that no one will be worried. Hopefully he’ll be able to hold it off enough so they won’t take one look at him and decide it isn’t worth the risk. Hell, the way he sounds, even just being in the same room as him might be risky enough. But he can’t let his friends down, and he doesn’t want to miss the party.

Pulling more tissues from the box, he catches a harsh, scraping – “uh…huh…ha’NNGGGSSH’ah!” into the bundle, containing all of the dense, contagious mess that his nose is constantly trying to force out of him. He gives one last marshy blow before getting up to start the day, box of tissues in hand. If he can just keep his nose under control, everything should be fine.

[caffinatedkrasova]

A Morning Cup of Coffee

You’ve never been a morning person, but now, with the farm, you’ve been forced to, but Harvey always makes those mornings more manageable. With his warm smile and hot coffee ready for you as soon as you're prepared to grace him with your presence in the clinic, you’ve decided to give him a little extra thanks for such special mornings.

The alarm on your bedside table rang out through your room, giving you a headache as soon as your head lifted off its pillow. You grumble out a curse as you turn the damned thing off. You realize that you’re already late to feed your chickens and rush out of bed, still in your pajamas, to your coop to fill their feeder. Your most enormous brood, Henretta, was the most displeased at your tardiness, giving you a slight peck to the hand as you collected the eggs for the day.

With an annoyed expression, you continued to finish up the necessary farm work for the morning, deciding that today was just one of those days where you’d be back in bed watching Netflix by 4 pm. But before you gave up on your morning, you decided to visit your lovely doctor. Who lifted your spirits with his delectable coffee creamer he kept just for you. You couldn’t understand his preference for black coffee but couldn’t argue if he kept your favorite in his fridge.

After setting the timers for your Mayo machines, you decide it might be better to be dressed when you go into town. You quickly change into something more presentable than your Junimo pajama set. While you’re sure Harvey would have no complaints about your attire even if you had worn a trashcan lid for a hat, you don’t want Jodi or Caroline spreading rumors about your disheveled state. You have already learned your lesson about those two.

As you head out the door in what you had reasoned to be an okay outfit, you chuckled slightly at the memory of Jodi and Caroline being so worried about you when you had gone to Pierre’s in your sweatpants and hoodie. They had thought you had gotten some illness and nearly dragged you to the clinic when you assured them you were okay and didn’t feel like getting into your overalls that morning to do your farm work. With all the commotion outside the clinic, Harvey had overheard and decided to see what was happening. When he heard what the discourse was about from Jodi and Caroline, he sided with them and demanded to take your temperature. When he had gotten you back to the clinic without them, he told you not to worry about them and offered to make you a coffee upstairs since you looked tired. That’s when you found out he liked his coffee plain black, and you couldn’t be more thankful for such noisy neighbors.

You finally reach the clinic doors. You check your watch, and it says 10:30 am. Harvey should be in the front clinic office now; he probably saw you coming from the windows. He had perhaps made the coffee for you by now, the unique mug he had bought for you when you spotted it on a trip to Zuzu City, the one only you could use. He had probably already added the exact amount of creamer and sugar you love every time. He’ll do this for you every time, like clockwork. Knowing your mornings are never complete until you’re drinking your coffee with him, talking about how horrible it is to wake up early and walk so far to get here.

A little bell chimes above you as you walk through the doors. The bright fluorescent lighting of the clinic waiting room does nothing to help your headache from waking up. The only comfort you seem to receive in your seconds of peril while your eyes adjust is your dear doctor's deep, joyous chuckle.

“You will never get used to those lights, will you?” He continues to laugh while you rub your eyes while they sting. You find it in yourself to laugh with him. I mean, with a laugh like that, how could you not?

“No, your lights are specifically designed to blast anyone walking through this door. Is it a visitor deterrent?” Your eyes finally acclimate to the light's brightness, and you can look at your doctor well. His dark brown curls frame his cute face, oversized glasses, how they sit perfectly on the slope of his nose, and the tint on his cheeks when he makes direct eye contact with you. And you notice your mug waiting on the counter with small amounts of steam coming from the top.

“No, they’re not visitor deterrents, but they’re designed to let you see better, especially for eye exams. But, enough of the doctor talk; you want your coffee?” He slides the mug in your direction, and you take it happily, your hands brushing his slightly as you take it. You hear him take a breath as he quickly grabs his coffee. You can clearly see the blush creeping above his collared shirt in this light.

“You know, Harv, you didn’t have to memorize my favorite coffee,” You give him a look while you sip your coffee before you continue, “But you did, and for that, I thank you deeply; I think you’re slowly making me a morning person.”

“It’s only coffee, Y/n. I like these mornings with you, so if that means keeping a disgustingly high-calorie creamer in my fridge, so be it.” He pauses to continue sipping his black coffee. Besides, what else would I do in the mornings, getting work done?” You go to slap his arm as he continues to laugh at his jokes. But he knows he is right. These mornings together had become a sort of ritual. You’d pray to Yoba for them to never stop, to only blossom into something you could keep forever as the two of you continue drinking your coffee and chatting about things that never mattered. You’d also pray that he had done the same.

“It’s not just the coffee; you know it, Harv.”

“I know”

“It never was, was it?” He doesn’t look at you; he stares into the mug you had bought for him in that run-down market you two had gone to after going to the aerospace museum in Zuzu for his birthday. He told you that you didn’t need to spend more money on him, that the evening alone was enough, but you insisted that you both needed unique mugs.

“No, it was for you.” When he finally looks back at you, he looks like a complete blushing mess. His expression could only be described as adoring. The intensity behind his eyes as the love he felt for you stared you down sent a chill down your spine. “I- I wanted to do this right, bouquet and all, b-but now it seems better, Y/n I love you. I love making your coffee in the mornings and that you come in daily to keep me company. I love how your h/c glows in the light, and you can never seem to wake up on time. Could you find it in yourself to love an old doctor like me? Because simply knowing you isn’t enough; I want to know you first thing in the morning and before bed. If you keep your socks on or off, how to wake you gently and keep you happy.”

“Harvey, I want all of that; I want you.” You round the counter quickly and rush to his arms. He holds you gently at first, then his hands from your back to your hair and waist. He keeps you close as his head dips into your neck, taking a deep breath. If this is how they continue, you have become a morning person.

He releases you from the crushing hug, but not before slowly planting his lips onto yours. The feeling of soft skin in contrast to his bristling mustache almost made you giggle from the tickling feeling, but as you both continued to deepen the kiss, his hand on your waist began to travel down your lower back, grabbing a handful of your ass. As you pulled back to gasp, Harvey aimed at your neck, leaving wet kisses in his wake. You continued to gasp and whimper at the contact, writhing from the attention.

“You’re so wound up, I think I should prescribe you a massage. I can do it personally if you’d like?” You nod furiously, your mouth suddenly becoming dry as you try to think of words you could helplessly use to plead for Harvey. He turns you towards the clinic hallway, ushering you into his office. He turns you around again, leading you now backward, pushing you by your hip towards the exam table. Once flush against the table, he lifts you to sit on top of the exam bed. He quickly kisses you before gently pulling apart and giving you space; you give him a confused look before he continues, “I did say this was a massage, did I not?” You provide a disappointed look after he continues, “Do be a good patient by removing your clothing, please. I cannot get a good look at the,“ he pauses to clear his throat, “muscles in need of care, with them on.”

You lift your shirt above your arms, exposing your f/c bra to the cold clinic air. You can feel goosebumps rising as Harvey looks over your exposed skin. He stares in absolute awe before quickly shaking himself out of whatever thought that held him captive. Kissing you deeply, letting his hands roam your skin, the smooth, supple skin that his touch had warmed. You leaned into him, hoping that he would continue to hold you. He would never stop now that you had let him; he would find any opportunity to do so in the future.

He unclasped the backing of your lacy bra, sliding the garment off of your arms down onto the clinic floor. As your nipples rise to the temperature of the chilly clinic, Harvey wastes no time to take one into his mouth and cover the other in his large hand. Swirling his tongue around your areola, you jerk into his touch, quickly becoming aroused by his skilled tongue. You lean into his touch, needing one hand to keep you stable on the exam bed, and you use the other to tangle itself in his curly hair. You give a slight tug when he gives your nipple a small bite. He moans in response and moves to your other tit, wanting to give them both equal attention.

However, long after Harvey felt like adequate attention to your breast was up, he gently pushed you down on the exam bed. Once you had laid down comfortably on the table, Harvey continued his assault of hot kisses along your body. Starting from your breast, leading down your ribs and stomach, and heading towards the hemline of your pants. He looked up for your permission before continuing to pull your pants down your legs while continuing his kisses along your thighs and calves. When he finally gets your pants off, he continues his gentle kisses while his hands start to kneed at the plush parts of your thighs. He feels as if his heart is beating a hundred miles an hour with how you react to his touch. He must be ascending to Yoba himself from the pure sight of heaven in front of him.

You feel your skin radiating heat from the way his hands had spread out, one hand cupping your tits and gently tugging on your nipples occasionally. And the other hand had gently cupped the mound of flesh covering your most sensitive parts. He had wanted to continue massaging your tender and sore legs, but he could sense your growing tension and need for release.

He released his hold on your tits and thighs, moving his hands back to your waist as he looked for your permission once more as he continued to remove your underwear, tossing it to join its matching set on the floor of the clinic. Once you were undressed entirely on the exam table, Harvey grabbed a chair and brought it to the end of the table. Taking a seat in the chair, then pulling you by your ankles to the edge of the bed so that your ass was just barely in the air.

With little warning, Harvey dives into your pussy like a starved man, licking long flat stripes onto your clit. You gasp and moan, your hands diving into his hair, holding him in his place. A string of pleas and whimpers leave your mouth, unheard by your ears, as the pleasure that racks your body in waves comes over you. Harvey wraps his arms underneath your legs, trying to gain some leverage with how you're writhing beneath him. As he continues his ministrations, he slowly inserts a finger into your tight hole. You clench around the sudden intrusion, trying to relax into his touch, but each movement causes you to jump and shudder.

After you adjust to the first finger, Harvey inserts another, quickly making work of stretching your poor tight little pussy. He would almost feel pity for how tight you think; it must have been a while since someone has adequately cared for you, and he will happily take the job with care. With another finger inserted, you release a hearty moan while your back arches off of the exam bed. Your hand that was buried in his hair clenches and pulls harder than you intended, and Harvey fucking loves it. The primal groan that releases from his throat sends chills down your spine and even more juices to spill from your cunt.

You can hardly handle any more teasing before you release, and you desperately need to cum on his cock and not around his digits. While it’s appealing, you’d instead finish together the first time. So you tug on Harvey’s hair, signaling for him to pull away from your delicious cunt, and he does so begrudgingly. He truly thinks that if he could spend the rest of his life between your legs, he would.

As Harvey stands from his chair, you can see the bulge in his pants that has grown considerably since the start of the ‘massage.’ He quickly undoes his belt with the speed of a man who desperately needs to get laid and frees his weeping cock from the confines of his pants and boxer briefs. He pumps himself a few times, enjoying the look on your face when he has beaten whatever estimate your imagination had given him.

He gently places his hands underneath the back of your knees, pushing them towards your chest while he slowly grinds his hips against yours, slightly sputtering from the contact. His face was completely red from the acts he was committing. He had always been a morning person, but this morning had put every other to shame. The view of your tits being pushed up by the folding of your legs and how wet your cunt made his cock feel was almost sinful.

He slowly pushed his dick into your wet cunt, savoring the way your tight hole had clenched around him the moment he entered. He wanted to rut into you the moment his cock had touched your soaked entrance, but he had to show restraint for your poor little pussy, or he would hurt you, and that was the last thing he wanted. He leaned down to your ear, his breath hitting the shell of your ear and making you shiver. “You’ve got to relax, dear. If you’re too tight, I won’t be able to fuck you like you want.”

You squirm and moan on his dick, wanting to take more of him desperately. You wrap your hands around his arms, pleading with your body for him to continue, your brain too far gone to help you make your case. Harvey, deciding to take pity on your whining state, pushes his cock further into you. His hands gripping your leg and the back of your head, leaning into your neck as he ruts slowly into your pussy. As you slowly begin to loosen around him, he continues his agonizingly slow pace as your pussy drips its juices onto the tiled floor of the clinic.

Harvey readjusts himself, leaning back up to take a good look at you, how your breasts bounce from your hips slapping together, how the sound travels around his office, and wildly how your face contorts when he finds that spot that makes you see stars. Once he finds the place once more, he changes his rhythm to ruthlessly pound into your g-spot as he gently applies pressure to your lower stomach and starts rubbing small circles into your clit with his other hand.

Your back arches off of the exam bed as you moan Harvey’s name for what could have been the hundredth time; you couldn’t have kept track if you had tried. From the angle he was pounding into you, you doubted that you could do anything but moan and wail as you continued to take the brutal thrusting from Harvey. This was far from the gentle touches and kisses that Harvey had given you earlier; this was pure animalistic Harvey. The Harvey that needed to be buried inside of your tight walls while he spilled his seed into you, the Harvey that needed you to cum on his cock over and over again before he was satiated.

Harvey had bucked his hips into yours, his rhythm slowly slowing to bucking and whimpers as he continued to brush small circles into your clit. You could feel the final wave of your orgasm coming, but before you could try to warm Harvey, you feel a coil within you snap, and a warm feeling flood your insides as a buzzing fills your head. You can feel Harvey double over, his head falling onto your chest as he gathers his breath. When he slowly pulls out of you, you can feel the cum slowly pooling out of you as Harvey sucks in a breath watching the pornographic scene in front of him.

“Yoba, I should have asked about a condom. I am so sorry-“ Before Harvey can continue his apologetic rant, you interrupt him with a deep kiss. Holding onto his shoulders, pulling him in deeper, wanting to pinch yourself and hoping to Yoba it wasn’t a dream. Thanking Yoba again that it wasn’t, you pull back from Harvey and decide you are a morning person.

Thank you for reading this coffee and joint-fueled smut; if you enjoyed please let me know because writer's block is a bitch, and I am struggling bussing this.

[bbykento]

I’ll make it up to you - gojo x gn! reader

wc. 1.1k | NOT proofread

contents! angst to fluff, comfort, gojo calls you clingy, neglect, cute nicknames, he does everything to make your anger gone, crying, overthinking, negative thoughts, praise.

you missed gojo so bad.

right now, you were just watching a movie or whatever you could do to occupy yourself. while gojo is out there hanging out with his friends, it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other. you thought this wouldn’t change anything in your daily life.

but after a few weeks, it’s all he’s been doing. he’s always outside with his friends, barely acknowledging your presence. you get that it’s been quite awhile, but you’ve been feeling neglected.

You weren’t clingy whatsoever (maybe you were) but you missed him so bad. every damn time he came home he’d either be too tired and sleep right away or he’d play video games… with his friends again.

it was the same process all over again. you were getting tired, you were already having a rough week. you needed your boyfriend…

at the moment, it was currently 12:59 am. Where the fuck was your boyfriend?? you decided to text him, worried about his being.

You

baby, where are you? it’s 1 am already, you okay?

baby?

baby?

can you come home already? its kinda late

baby answer me

you were worried, he usually came home from their hangout by 7 pm or even earlier. though why was he taking longer? yes he’s the strongest he can take care of himself yeah yeah but it was your boyfriend. finally after a few minutes (it took 30 minutes) before he responded.

Gojo

js out w my bros dw

wow. he finally responded, in like one of the worst ways ever. he would usually reassure you sweetly that he’s okay and he’d be back quickly in 50+ messages, whenever he’d went out longer than usual. but this? its not him. it was a dry response, maybe someone took his phone?

You

when r u coming home?

baby?

Gojo

can you like stop?

stop being so clingy it’s annoying

im just hanging out w my bros

and im not gonna come home till for a little while

the reason why i hung out with them was to escape your clingy ass

so stfu for a moment

.

.

.

… what the fuck? im clingy? when im just worrying about your wellbeing?? you already had a bad day and just wanna cuddle with your boyfriend but he adds to the stress.

like the petty person you are, you take your things and leave his apartment with teary eyes. if he calls you clingy, might as well distance yourself from him. nobody to wake him up, take care of his drunken state, cook him breakfast, and all that.

….

a week passes by and not a single sign from him. he didn’t bother to text you, call you, go to your apartment, whatsoever. you guys don’t usually fight, and when you do it doesn’t last this long. he would always be to go to you first and apologize.

you were overthinking, maybe you were a burden to him? was he cheating on you? will he break up with you? negative thoughts clouded your mind as you cry your heart out and cuddle your pillow.

before suddenly, a ding comes from your door. was that finally gojo? was he here to apologize and comfort me? you fixed yourself before opening the door, the moment you opened the door it all answered your questions.

Oh. it was just a delivery man…..with a bouquet but instead it was filled with money shaped into flowers, a cute basket filled to the brim with your favorite snacks and food. Till you realize the “delivery man” had snow-white hair..

“gojo..?”

“baby..I’m sorry please? I know it’s not enough but fuck.. im sorry, im sorry…can we talk?” he looks up, finally letting you see his eyes. he looked, tired. and so did you.

“okay…” you say. you were glad he was back, you missed his touch, his face, his everything.

he gets inside and you close the door behind him. when he lands the items on a table, he suddenly hugs you.

“Baby i’m sorry I don’t know what i fucking said I didn’t mean any of that you know that right? please im sorry ill make it up to you… I just- I just..”

“Baby calm down, we’ll talk about it after you collect all your thoughts.”

he nods in agreement, before he nuzzles his head deeper into your neck taking in your scent. oh how he missed you, how bad he fucked up to the. point you guys haven’t interacted each other for a week.

“I’m sorry… I was just in a bad mood after my friends made a joke about hitting on you… I poured my anger on you, nothing was your fault. It’s all mine.. please forgive me baby I’ll do anything to make up to you..” he started to kiss your neck.

God did you want to cry again.

“don’t you know how much that hurt me?” tears started to roll down your cheeks.

“I know baby.. it’s all my fault blame it on me. I’ve been neglecting my cute and beautiful baby.. you don’t deserve it please don’t cry..” he wipes your tears and cups your face before kissing you all over your face

“Please just don’t do that ever again..” you hug him tightly. you were so happy and sad at the same time. after all those overthinking… his reassurance was what you needed the most.

“Of course, my love. please remember I don’t find you clingy or annoying, even if you were clingy I love every second of it. I love every bit of you. please don’t stop loving me like that, im an asshole fuck me. im sorry you had to deal with this asshole but this asshole loves you very much.” with every sentence, he gave a kiss on your face.

“I love how you make me breakfast everyday, the way you wake me up so sweetly, the way you text me to see how I’m doing, how you clean my clothes for me when I’m too tired, draw doodles on my chest with your fingers when im asleep, kiss me and put a blanket over me when you see me shiver, I love all of you and the things you do.” he continued.

He kisses you long and deep. you couldn’t stop the ecstatic feeling in you when he said all of those words. oh did you love him so much, and so did he.

Safe to say, you guys spent the night in each other’s arms. he spoiled you a lot the very next day, or rather for the past few weeks.

note: this would’ve been better if I havent fucking accidentally exited the draft without saving the work in progress 🫠 AAAAA

[acetypeface]

June of Doom, Day 20

"I can handle it." | Scrape | Panic Attack | Neglect

@juneofdoom

Word count: 2718 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Content warnings: Brief passive suicidal ideation, language

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56801968

I Don't Know Why I Bite

Five woke with the taste of ash on his tongue.

He shot upright, narrowly avoiding braining himself on the underside of the top bunk. His breath came in short gasps, his body trembling violently. He curled his fingers into his scratchy blanket, his mind flying too fast to think.

Everytime he closed his eyes, the memories nipped at the back of his brain, carving fresh wounds into his mind.

Ash, settling across his shoulders like freshly fallen snow. Drifting into his eyes, biting and burning where it made contact. Coating the inside of his mouth, his tongue, and choking the back of his throat. Filling his lungs, until he couldn’t speak without coughing, blood splattering the hand he raised to his lips.

It was all he could see. All he could taste. All he could feel. The apocalypse had been a fire, the earth its fast-fading ember. Nothing left in the world, save himself and the endless sea of gray that crunched and shifted beneath his feet as he walked.

For you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

How long until he crumbled along with everything else he had known and loved?

Five rubbed anxious circles into his chest, desperately trying to slow the fluttering pace of his heart. His pulse surged in his eardrums, drowning out anything and everything, his vision flickering in the dim lightning of the room. He wasn’t there anymore; he had gotten out. He wasn’t there anymore; he was home, he was safe.

Or… however close to home he could be, after their last ill-planned attempt to escape the apocalypse.

Five fought the urge to cough, trying to reason with himself. He wasn’t choking. There wasn’t any smoke or ash. That taste, the one in the back of his throat… it was all in his head. His lungs were fine, mercifully replaced by the same accident that left him stranded in his younger body.

His heart rate began to slow, his breath evening out as the terror relinquished its claws from his chest. Five hugged his knees to his chest, letting the reality of his situation wash over him.

He was in a hotel-- Hotel Obsidian, if he was remembering correctly. One of Klaus’s old haunts. A predictably peculiar place, considering the brother that recommended it. Their home, the Academy… wasn’t gone, per say. Just under new management, ruled over by an angry batch of superhumans that called themselves ‘the Sparrow Academy’. The old man’s new pets, Five thought grimly. Good riddance; if he had to spend another second of his time trying to barter with that sardonic old meatbag, he might as well kill himself.

The apocalypse was over. They had escaped it once again. They were safe.

He wondered how long it would take for him to truly accept that.

Five kicked back the sheets, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The bunk above him creaked as Klaus rolled over in his sleep, murmuring something under his breath. Diego’s rattling snores rose from the futon where he had stretched himself out. And Luther… Five curled his lip. Whatever Luther had eaten for dinner clearly wasn’t agreeing with him.

The room suddenly felt suffocating, and not just because of the smell. It was too crowded, too hot. Five could hear his brothers, all breathing out of sync, and the sound made his skin prickle. He just needed a moment of fresh air. Sleep was out of the question anyway.

Grabbing his robe from where he’d draped it next to the bed, Five bundled up and made for the door. Careful not to wake his brothers, he eased the room door open and stepped out into the hall, his shoulders relaxing the moment the silence washed over him. Letting the door shut behind him, Five found that he could breathe easy again.

He paced down the hall, worrying with the sleeve of his bathrobe. His body still felt heavy with exhaustion, but his mind was moving too quickly to relax. He would’ve liked to sleep--Five couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a full night’s rest--but the idea of slipping back into that wasteland was enough to keep him moving.

He could almost forget it from time to time, all of those years spent trapped in the apocalypse. When the problems in front of him consumed his vision, or when the heavy weight of liquor muddied his thoughts, Five could almost ignore the ghost in his mind. Then he would try to slow down, try to rest--whether by choice or by the harsh reality of his body giving out--and the apocalypse would rear its ugly head again, trying to drag him back into the nightmare from which he had barely escaped.

Five shuddered, struck by a sudden wave of dizziness. He gripped the wall, his heart speeding up again as the acrid tang of ash wormed its way back into his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ride out the wave of panic that washed over him.

I can handle it, he thought to himself, his inner voice tinged with desperation. It’ll be over in a minute.

He needed a drink. Something to slow his mind. Maybe if he drank enough, the alcohol would lull him into dreamless sleep, although he wasn’t sure if the hangover the next morning would be worth it.

More than anything, Five missed Delores. He missed having someone to talk to, someone to help him rationalize the fear that threatened to choke him. His siblings wouldn’t understand; they were too naive, too emotional. They’d get worried and patronizing, and that was the last thing Five wanted.

No, he wanted Delores. He needed Delores. He shouldn’t have left her, two timelines ago. Now she was gone, and no amount of wishful thinking would bring her back. Once again, Five’s lack of foresight had screwed him over. For someone who could jump through time itself, he found that he could be painfully nearsighted.

Five sank to the floor, his head cradled in his hands. God, he was so tired. His teenage body was heavy with exhaustion, throbbing from scrapes and bruises sustained in their earlier fights. He didn’t have the stamina he used to, even if he did have the vitality of youth. But everytime he tried to close his eyes, even to blink, a burnt-out landscape would flash through his mind's eye.

“Five?”

The soft voice jarred him out of his thoughts, and Five nearly broke his neck when he whipped around to see who had spoken.

Viktor stood a few feet away, still dressed in the same clothes he had left the 1960s in. He looked about as exhausted as Five felt, his freshly-cut hair tangled and mussed, dark circles carving half-moons under his eyes. He was hesitating visibly, as if he wasn’t quite sure he was allowed to approach. It was sweet, Five had to admit, but the cynical part of him griped that Viktor was old enough to know to take initiative.

When Five didn’t respond, Viktor pressed, “Couldn’t sleep?”

Five shook his head slowly. “No.”

His brother seemed to take that as an invitation to join him. Slumping against the wall at his side, Viktor admitted softly. “Yeah, me neither.” He looked so tortured, his brown eyes glassy and unfocused, that Five couldn’t help but feel concerned.

“Do you miss…” Five trailed off, desperately wracking his brain for the woman’s name, “...Sissy?” He had met Viktor’s lover a grand total of once, but he could tell the blonde woman had meant a lot to his brother.

Viktor winced, his face clouding over. “I do,” he said with a wry chuckle. “Which is stupid, because I know it was safer for her to stay in 1963, but…” he trailed off, tapping his fingers together anxiously. His eyes flicked to Five, and he asked, “Are you okay, though?”

What an odd question. Five shrugged. Of course he was okay; he and his family were finally some semblance of safe, and they had managed to leave the apocalypse in the 1960s. Five was the most okay he had been in decades.

So why didn’t it feel quite right?

“I’m fine,” he answered after a few tense moments, staring down at his hands. He could almost swear there was still blood crusted beneath his fingernails, a final trophy from the Board’s massacre. Five swallowed, suddenly nauseous.

“Are you sure?” Viktor pressed, scooting closer to him. “Five… if… if you want to talk about it, I…”

“I’m fine, Viktor,” Five repeated, his voice mercifully stronger this time. “I… I just had a nightmare. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Five,” Viktor repeated gently, “You know you don’t have to go it alone, right? You can talk to us. You can talk to me.”

“Talk about what?” Five laughed incredulously. “My nightmare? I’m not a child, Viktor. It was just a dream; I’ll get over it.”

Viktor was studying him thoughtfully; Five could see an idea forming in his brother’s mind, and he didn’t like it. Leaning forward, Viktor asked, “Have you ever thought about seeing someone? Like, a therapist?”

Something about this conversation felt uncomfortably familiar. Five could almost remember Viktor saying something similar, the night Five had jumped back to 2019. “What, in the two weeks since I got back?” he snapped. “No, it hasn’t crossed my mind. Can’t really say I had time for it, what with trying to stop the apocalypse and saving your sorry asses. Why do you ask?”

“Everything you went through…” Viktor furrowed his brow, searching for the right words. “You’ve been through a lot, and you’re carrying a lot with you. You know you don’t have to do that, right?  You don’t have to be miserable all the time.”

Five bristled. “If you’re trying to scold me for being an asshole-”

“I’m not!” Viktor cut him off, his voice tipping up defensively. “I promise I’m not. God, I’m too tired for this-” he paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I mean, if you’re hurting, you don’t have to keep hurting. It’s not weak to get help.”

Preposterous. That sounded immensely weak to Five. He had never had time for feelings, ironically enough. All they did was get in the way, slow him down. It was primitive to allow oneself to be controlled by their emotions. They were a distraction and nothing more. He could be at peace, whatever that meant, when he was dead.

Viktor raised an eyebrow. “I can see you disagreeing with me.”

“I’m not… necessarily,” Five hedged, unwilling to set his brother off again. Perhaps, if he kept nodding along, Viktor would grow tired of this therapist schtick and move on. Not quite his usual method of winning an argument, but he really wasn’t in the mood to keep fighting.

“One of the smartest moves someone can do is recognize when they need help. And really, all it does is make you a better person,” Viktor continued, scuffing his sneakers against the faded carpet. He cast Five a soft smile. “And I know you’re all about smart.”

The show of affection proved too much for Five’s already tender nerves. He shied away from his brother, equally compelled and repulsed by Viktor’s concern. Pressing his hands together, eager to shut down the conversation, Five told him, “Viktor, I appreciate it, I really do. But I honestly don’t have time for-”

“What scares you so much about needing other people?” Viktor interrupted, his gaze intensifying.

His heart rate quickening, Five hissed, “I’m not scared.”

And he wasn’t. He was being reasonable. The only person you could truly trust was yourself; Five had learned that lesson time and time again. Friends, family… They were all walking potential disappointments. They abandoned you, betrayed you, made idiotic calls that hurt you and everyone else you loved. No, Five was more than happy to rely on himself and himself only.

“Five,” Viktor’s voice softened. “That’s our dad talking in your head, telling you to bottle it all up. Stop taking his shitty advice and let yourself feel. Maybe you’ve got powers, but you’re still human.”

Five’s mental tirade hiccuped to a stop. He had the strange desire to laugh, which he smothered by burying his face in his hands again. God, was he human? Five wasn’t so sure sometimes. He had spent so long isolated from everyone and everything, including himself, that he almost felt like an alien when tossed back into ordinary life. Not to mention the blood staining his hands, staining his soul, the blood that he could never quite wash out…

And what had Viktor meant, bringing up their dad like that? Five had done everything in his power to be the opposite of Reginald; he had spat in the old man’s face time and time again, fighting back against his orders and his training. Of course, doing so had landed Five in the equivalent of hell for forty-five years…

Oh, god. Maybe he was more fucked up than he had thought.

Five hadn’t realized he was shaking until Viktor’s arms closed around him, oh-so gently. That urge to fight back, pull away, had completely evaporated. For once in his life, Five so desperately needed something to tether him back to reality. Still trembling, he leaned into his brother’s chest, his hands pressed against his pounding heart. Viktor’s arms were warm and heavy, their comforting weight dragging Five back to earth.

“Fuck,” Five breathed out shakily. His mouth tasted like ash again.

“You’re not alone, Five,” Viktor whispered, his chin bumping against the top of Five’s head. “You’re not alone.”

The warm prickling at the back of Five’s eyes was entirely unfamiliar, and it set off alarm bells all across his body. He carefully extracted himself from his brother’s arms, rubbing his hands across his knees to soothe himself. Turning his head away, Five forced the words, “Thank you,” between his lips.

“Yeah.” He could feel the weight of Viktor’s sad smile, boring into the back of his skull. “Of course. Any time, Five.”

“I… don’t want to talk to anyone,” Five murmured, still refusing to meet his brother’s gaze. “I might traumatize the shrink.”

Viktor gave a soft laugh. “You might actually have a point.”

Five allowed himself a small smile before turning back to face his brother. “But,” he continued, letting the word hang in the air, “I’ll try to stop being so much of a stubborn asshole.”

Viktor held up his hands in protest, a grin tugging at his lips. “Hey, your words, not mine.”

“You were thinking them.”

“I promise I wasn’t.”

Five leaned back against the faded wallpaper, waiting for the last of the panic to trickle out of his veins. It left him feeling exhausted and hollow… and in desperate need of a pick-me-up.

“I think I need a drink,” he announced, pushing himself to his feet. He wobbled there for a moment until his shaky legs remembered how to work.

Viktor gazed up at him, bemused. “At 4 am?”

“I think,” Five repeated, crossing his arms, “I need a drink.”

His brother narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “I know I should tell you no, but…” he trailed off, sticking out a hand. “Help me up.”

Five jerked Viktor his feet, patting his brother’s shoulder as he stepped away. “Let’s go get blackout drunk. I need it after that shitshow.” He started off down the hall, refusing to look behind him but secretly hoping that Viktor would follow.

His brother caught up to him a moment later, and Five willfully ignored the way his spirits lifted, just slightly. “What, me talking to you about your feelings?” Viktor teased, a warm grin on his face. “Or everything back in 1963?”

Five waved a dismissive hand through the air. “Yes.”

He hesitated, then added, “And Viktor… I’d prefer it if you didn’t tell the others about…” he trailed off, the thought of verbalizing what had just happened making him sick to his stomach. So what if he had trouble admitting weakness? His brothers and sister still didn’t need to know about every little nightmare or panic attack. It wasn’t that big of a deal, truly.

To Five’s relief, Viktor didn’t press it. “I won’t,” he promised simply.

“Good. Then let’s go get that drink.”

[kyday]

Solace | Kate Bishop

Summary: It's one of those nights again where Kate disappears and doesn't come back until it's early morning. You have finally had enough. warnings: bad writing (sorry not sorry), few swear words. light angst with a happy ending. enjoy!! wordcount: 1200+ ------------------

Katiee 💘: hey love, i know you’re at work right now, but im just telling you that ill be busy the entire day. I have so much to do today so i might not be able to open my phone as often.

You: hi babyyy, its fine. i get it,  just make sure to text me once everything  is over, okay? love you.

Katiee 💘: of course, dont worry. love you too, mwuah! 9:23 am

It was 11:34 pm, the flickering lights of NYC fluttered outside your window, and the constant noise of cars passing by was nothing new. You had been up all night waiting for a reply from your girlfriend, Kate.

Her last reply was in the morning, after that— radio silence. Her silence was unnerving, although you had gotten used to her doing this, it never was this drastic. You kept opening your phone every time it turned on, expecting it was her message, but still; nothing.

You: babyy, are you free noww? if not, i hope you finish up soon. mwuah. 6:02 pm

You:

heyy, i know this is probably just one of your busy days but are you donee? lucky misses you already.  text me when you get this. 7:35 pm 

You:

kate, Im getting worried. you haven't been answering the entire day. is everything fine? please text me once you see this. 9:00 pm

You:

Kate??? Please tell me you’re okay. I'm worried sick. 9:58 pm

You anxiously paced around your bedroom, at the corner of the room Lucky was sleeping on his bed. He was planning on staying up with you but at 10 pm he accidentally fell asleep. You make your way to the dining room, leaving a light on— you’ll wait for Kate here.

You can feel your eyes slowly giving up, trying to keep yourself up— you try to rub your face to stay awake a bit more. 

This hasn’t been the first time Kate has done this. Ever since last year when she hit that large bell tower, she had changed. There were times you often pretended to not know when she had cuts or bruises— she was a bad liar. You can often see her limping or wincing every time she moves.

You never questioned her about it though. You didn't want to overwhelm her especially since her mother got sent to jail for murdering people. But ever since that— it seemed like she was burying herself in her work more and more. The cuts or bruises were more visible, you remember when she didn't come home for a day and she blamed it on her cousin who was in town and wanted some tour around NYC.

Right as you were about to fall asleep, you heard the sound of keys clattering and curses being mumbled as the person entered the front door. You recognized the voice to be Kate. “Fuck, fuck fuck.” 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw you standing in front of the couch. There was a moment of silence between you, “Where the hell have you been?” You questioned in disbelief. She puts down her bow on the nearest table, you watch her intently.

“The company had me go overtime since there were extra projects due. Look, I sorry-” 

She explains but you quickly cut her off. “Oh my god, then why the hell do you bring your fucking bow or why couldn't you even text me once? Do you think I'm stupid Kate?” She sighs, massaging her temple.

“Y/n, let's not do this right now.” She mumbles, giving you a tired look. “I'm tired, we can talk about this in the morning.” You shook your head immediately.

You stepped closer to her. “No, we are talking about this now. Because in the morning you’ll be gone even before I wake up. Goddamit, I'm not oblivious! I know that your work isn't from seven am to eleven fucking pm!” Kate is starting to become more irritated with you, trying to bite her tongue from saying anything.

“What the hell are you hiding from me? I was worried sick, I waited up until what? Eleve-” You look at the clock. 12:10 am. “Its fucking midnight!” Kate knows she deserves this, but she's tired, way too tired to fight right now.

“Who said you had to fucking wait for me?” She replies, stunning you.

You let out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh my god, maybe because I'm your girlfriend, Kate! Have you ever thought of that?”

As the tension in the room thickened, Kate's expression softened, and she let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to worry you," she said, her voice tinged with exhaustion. "I know I've been distant lately, and I haven't been completely honest with you."

You can feel your frustration, but you are also worried. “Then why, Kate? Why do you keep shutting me out? Why are you not telling me the truth?” Kate looks down in guilt, her superhero duties have been such a huge thing for her that she forgot her true priority, you.

“I haven't been honest with you..” She starts off.

“No shit Sherlock.” You mumble, earning a smile from her.

She coughs, “I know this may uh- this may seem unbelievable but I've been working with Hawkeye to bring this organization down.” She stopped to see your reaction, but your face was like stone. “And just— today we were so close to getting them but they got away.” Kate continues, her voice turning into a whisper at the end, you can hear the disappointment in her voice.

“But you didn't have to hide it from me, Kate.” You start, tears welled up in Kate’s eyes.

“I didn't want to make you worry, I'm so sorry.” She whispers.

You walk over to her and wipe her tears. “I'm always worrying about you, you know that. It doesn't matter how crazy your story is. Hell, if you told me you were fighting aliens, I would believe you. Because I trust you, Kate. And I need you to put that same trust in me.” You explain, hugging her.

You can feel her nod against your chest. “No more secrets, okay?” 

“Okay.” She mumbles, latching onto you.

You chuckle, “Come on, we can cuddle in bed.” She protests for a second, saying she wants to lie down on the floor. But you manage to convince her into going to the bedroom for cuddles.

She plops down on the mattress, and you follow behind her. “I'm sorry again, I won't do it again, love.” She looks up at your eyes, you smile at her. 

“It's okay now. Just go to bed, okay?” She nods, and she inches closer to you before pressing her lips onto yours. “Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight love.” Kate mumbles tiredly, cuddling up to you. And for a moment, the loud cars outside quieted down, and the bright city lights weren't so bright anymore. 

Kate realized that she could only have this comfort with you.

[sweet-s0rr0w]

day 15 of @hprecfest - a fic over 50k

Star Quality by @wholahoop - E, 119k, 2018

Summary: Two years after the war, and Harry’s content with his life. OK, so it’s a little annoying that he keeps winning Witch Weekly’s Most Eligible Bachelor award, and he’s really not looking forward to the unveiling of an enormous gold statue of himself, but he loves his friends, and he loves being an Auror. And if he yearns for something more, something he can barely bring himself to think about, well, he’ll probably get over it. No one’s happy all the time, are they?

But then everything changes, and Harry’s thrown into a new and dazzling world he’s not sure he can actually escape from. And as time goes on, he starts to wonder: does he actually want to?

Excerpt:

At some point the queue wound its way past a line of tills, and he was forced to buy a copy of Malfoy’s album as his entrance ticket to the signing. Why he also picked up a copy of the ‘authorised autobiography’ Sarah had shared with him earlier, which was also on offer by the till, he wasn’t entirely sure, but he shoved it into the plastic bag the checkout girl offered him and tried not to brood. “Big fan of Draco, are you?” she asked, the words curiously like a snigger, and looked him up and down.

Harry considered this, and decided the only dignified response was silence. “He’s OK,” he mumbled when the girl continued to look at him, waiting for an answer. He could feel his face going all hot.

The girl actually sniggered out loud this time, before turning to the girls behind him, and Harry wished he’d gone with his original silence scheme. Did he look like a wally right now? He considered the idea gloomily and concluded that he did. Not only had he, a grown man, apparently queued up for hours to get the autograph of another grown man, but he was wearing an ill-fitting outfit that even he had to admit did him no favours. And then there was his hair to consider. It was undoubtedly doing the thing it always did. Harry didn’t want to impress Malfoy, he really didn’t, but he found himself reaching up to try and surreptitiously flatten his hair down into something half-acceptable, and found no comfort in the fact that Samantha tapped him on the shoulder and, with a silent look of comradeship, passed him a tiny hairbrush and her hand mirror. He brushed half-heartedly, and then glanced in the mirror only long enough to confirm that, yes, it had made absolutely no difference – had brushing it actually made it worse? – before passing it back with a ‘thank you’ that he tried to make sound sincere.

“Don’t worry,” Samantha added in a confidential whisper, leaning closer as she stowed the brush away again in her handbag, “Draco will see what’s in your heart, and that’s the most important thing.”

I know it's not exactly an unknown fic, but I love who_la_hoop, and this is my favourite fic by them (Sleeping Beauty Curse a close second). Basic premise is that Harry, fed up with fame, accidentally makes a wish on a star, and wakes up as a Muggle, in a world where no-one knows who he is. Confused, he wanders around London, and when he walks past the Virgin Megastore he sees a giant poster for popstar Draco Malfoy's latest record - and hey, guess what, he's having an album signing today! And hey, guess what else Harry, you're about to have a major crisis of sexuality! It's exactly the kind of thing I wish I'd thought of writing; all the scenes are just so well observed and funny, this Malfoy's great, full of swagger (with his management team composed of the Slytherins, of course) but soft underneath, and last but not least, the sex scenes are obviously incredibly hot.

If you read it, and if especially you love it, please do let me know! And as always, please do take the time to leave the author a kudos/comment <3

day 1 - first fic you remember reading

day 2 - a fic rated G

day 3 - a fic not on ao3

day 4 - a comfort fic

day 5 - a romantic fic

day 6 - a fic for a ship you don’t normally read

day 7 - the best of your OTP

day 8 - a fic that was recced to you

day 9 - a WIP

day 10 - a fest/event fic

day 11 - an underrated fic

day 12 - a fic from your favourite author

day 13 - a rare pair

day 14 - a fic rated T

[roanofarcc]

PROJECT SUNSHINE CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT → I NEVER GREW UP, IT’S GETTING SO OLD

summary: steve harrington x oc | on Ao3

when another product of Hawkins National Laboratory escaped a long-survived nightmare alongside her sister, she crashed into one unsuspecting teenage boy and dragged him deeper into the dark mysteries that made up their hometown.

word count. 3.9k || masterlist || ocs moodboard

warnings: cannon typical violence, child abuse, horror, gore, and depictions of mental illness. parts of this story were written pre-season 4 release. cannon divergence.

a/n. and fifty eight chapters later...

previous chapter ← → next chapter

Rays of setting sunlight poured through the open window of Sunshine’s bedroom, bathing everything inside in a soft, golden glow. A light breeze fluttered the curtains, letting in the smell of freshly cut grass. Sunshine absentmindedly toyed with her necklace as she watched the tree leaves sway gently, sitting in her bed with her legs stretched out over her comforter. In her lap rested Max’s head. She was quiet, too quiet, as Sunshine brushed her fingers through the redhead’s waving locks in an attempt to ease some of the hurt that was wound up so tightly inside of Max. She looked so small curled up on Sunshine’s bed, wearing one of Steve’s sweatshirts that Sunshine had stolen a while ago; it fell just above Max’s knees and the sleeves covered her hands. 

On the edge of the bed sat El and Leia with their fingers working quickly to tie knots in strings to form friendship bracelets for everyone as their going-away gifts. The craft also worked as a nice distraction from the sadness that lingered heavily over all of Hawkins in the wake of Chief Hopper’s death that night at Starcourt. 

Sunshine hadn’t believed it at first; she refused to believe the news her parents broke to her a couple of days following the Fourth of July. It seemed impossible; none of them were supposed to die, not like that and not then. He had three children, a family, and a good life that wasn’t supposed to end so soon. But he was gone, just like that, and his death affected the town deeply, but not as much as it did the group who had been there that night. His children took the news like a dagger to the heart, and they were once again robbed of a promise of new life with Hopper in their little cabin in the woods. The building was in ruins, and he was gone, leaving Joyce to take in the three kids. She insisted that Hopper would have done the same for her boys if their roles were reversed. She brought El and the twins into her home and treated them as if they were her own, despite also reeling from Hopper’s death. The kids lost a father, and Joyce lost another man she loved. Hawkins was thrown completely off its axis.

“Hey, Max?” Leia's voice broke through the stillness of the bedroom. “Can you tell us what California’s like?” 

When the summer came to a close, the Byers-Hopper clan would move across the country and get a fresh start in California, away from all of their ghosts in Hawkins. Sunshine knew it was for the best, but the thought of her siblings being so far away hurt her heart. She kept a brave face for them, though, not wanting them to worry any more than they already did. 

Max shifted slightly and turned her head to look at El and Leia. “You guys will like it, especially if you’re close to the beach,” she said, her voice seemingly stuck somewhere between dreamy and pained. “It’s sunny, almost all of the time, and warm. You guys can learn to surf or skateboard. The people are pretty cool too. It’s…it’s just a lot different than Hawkins.” 

A small frown tugged on El’s lips as she braided her bracelet. “Why can you two just come with us?” 

Sunshine smiled sadly at her sister. “I wish we could, but you know we can’t.” She wasn’t done with Hawkins yet. Her parents were still there, and a single year of high school was waiting for her. Besides, she couldn’t leave Max or the remaining party member until she knew for sure that Hawkins was a safe place for them. There was also Steve and Nancy who would still be there; Sunshine couldn’t leave them either. “But,” she continued. “We’ll come to visit, and you guys will come back to see us. We’ll only be a call or radio away; it won’t even feel like we’re that far apart.”

Seated on the floor, surrounded by a series of journals, Luke and Will paused their reading of the various stories Sunshine had written. She had started writing as a way to cope with everything she had experienced and been through, but it had turned from recanting old horrors to creating alternative endings to the lives of the children from the Lab. She wrote them the happy endings they deserved; it proved to be more therapeutic than digging up bad memories, and according to Luke and Will, they were rather good. 

“The party’s splitting up,” Will said, followed with a heavy sigh. “We’ve never been without each other like that before.” 

“Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you’ll stop being friends,” Sunshine said. The bond that the party had couldn’t be broken by some distance, not after everything. 

“I know,” said Will, his voice quiet. “I just, I don’t know. It’s scary.” 

“Yeah,” agreed Leia. “Moving is scary. Growing up is scary.” The kids all seemed to agree. 

“But think of it as a good kind of scary,” Sunshine offered. “You guys will get to see new things and meet new people. You’re not replacing us here, you’re just moving on, right? And then you’ll call us and tell us about all of it.” She didn’t want them to think that she or anyone who was staying in Hawkins felt like they were getting left behind. She wished that everything was happening under different circumstances, but they’d get through it and a fresh start would be good for them. 

“Are you guys going to be okay here?” asked Luke, looking between Sunshine and Max. The latter didn’t answer, she instead looked up at Sunshine. 

“Yes,” Sunshine said. “We’ll be okay.” 

A beat of silence passed between them. Luke played with the corner of a page from the journal for a moment before he said, “Can I ask you something, Sunshine?” 

“Anything, you know that.” 

He swallowed, dropping his gaze. “When you lost Ivy, how did you make it not hurt so bad?”

Sunshine sucked in a sharp breath. Loss was something that had long been twisted up inside of her, a familiar ache and space craved out of her heart left by Ivy. 

“I don’t think you ever make all of the hurt go away, not completely. That’s not really how it works.” And it shouldn’t work that way, she had come to realize. The loss of someone who showed you so much love and care was something you carried around close to your chest after they had left. “But you try to remember the good memories you had with them. Even though the Lab was scary, wherever I was with Ivy, it made it feel a lot less scary; that’s what I remember the most about her. That’s what I choose to keep with me.” That’s the version of Ivy Sunshine wanted to remember, the girl who wiped her tears away. 

“It was less scary with Hopper,” El whispered, looking down at the blue bracelet on her wrist that he had given her. 

“He loved you guys, you know that, right?” 

Leia nodded, but her face began to contort in anger. Her emotions sparked, causing Sunshine’s bedside lamp to flicker a couple of times. “We should have gotten more time with him. It’s not fair.” 

It wasn’t, and Sunshine wished she had all of the answers and the power to take away all of their pain and sadness that burned inside the kids, that burned through Hawkins. The town still smelled like sulfur and tragedy. 

“No, it’s not fair,” Sunshine sighed. “But if anyone can get through this and be okay, it’s all of you. And now you all have each other.” 

Will perked up slightly. “It’s like we’re all siblings now.” 

El held the faint glow of a smile on her lips. “Siblings.” 

Standing up abruptly from the bed, Max let out something between a cry and a groan of frustration. Sunshine reached for the girl, calling out her name softly, but Max staggered backward with a frantic shake of her head. 

“Hey,” Sunshine said. “It’s alright-”

“Not it’s not.” Max cut her off, choking on a sob. “It’s not! It’s not the same. Hopper was a good person. Billy wasn’t. I shouldn’t…I don’t…Ugh!” She ran her hands down the length of her face as tears pooled in her eyes. 

In the couple of month Sunshine had known Max, she learned Max was the kind of person to keep all of their feels close to their chest until she couldn’t handle it anymore. Max thought she could handle everything alone, but Sunshine wanted to know she didn’t have to do that. 

Sunshine scooted to the edge of her bed, in front of where Max stood. “It’s okay it be upset.” 

Grief was complicated. Billy had been a terrible person, even before the Mind Flayer infiltrated his brain. He had hurt Max, scared her too. But the death he suffered in front of all of their eyes was hard to grapple with. Sunshine didn’t know what had happened to him until days later, when she was in a slightly better condition. Billy had died at the hands of the monster, trying to come back to his uncontrolled self. The second she passed out, the Mind Flayer jutted towards El but Billy had been standing in its way and tried to hold it off for just a second before the Gate was closed and it was all over. Max had watched her stepbrother die, brutally, and no matter what kind of person he had been, it still had to hurt.

“That’s the problem,” Max cried. “I don’t think I’m as upset as I should be. I don’t know. It’s like I feel…I feel kind of relieved but not in a good way, exactly. I just…I don’t know what or how to feel.” She wiped the tears on her cheeks away with the sleeves of the hoodie before she hugged her arms close to her chest, curling into herself. “He tried to kill all of us.” 

“When he was possessed,” Will reminded her, knowing the best out of everyone what Billy had gone through. 

Max shook her head. “He was shitty before that when he wasn’t. But now he’s dead and…and I…” 

“Max,” Sunshine said. A couple more tears slid down the girl’s cheeks before she broke down and fell back onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Sunshine and burying her head in the older girl’s chest. Sunshine held her tightly as El and Leia joined them. All four girls laid in a pile of sniffles and warm embraces. 

None of the kids deserved to spend the last few weeks of summer in mourning. They deserved to be outside, enjoying the warmth and freedom of summer before fall stepped in and they started in the uncharted waters of high school. Instead, they all were teary-eyed and more lost than they had ever been before. Sunshine could fight monsters and bad men all she wanted, but she couldn’t stop the pain that all of the kids felt; she couldn’t go back in time and stop it from ever happening in the first place. All she could do was be there to remind them that they weren’t alone in the world. 

They stayed huddled together until Max’s tears dried up and Sunshine’s arms went numb. Between the soft music that played from Sunshine’s radio and the gentle breeze that washed over them, the girls nearly dozed off until a soft knock came from the door, and in came Sunshine’s mom. The woman wore a small smile as she took in the scene before she said, “Walter just got home with the pizza if you guys are hungry.”

Luke and Will were quick to abandon the journals they were reading and stood to their feet at the mention of food. “Thanks again, Mrs. Torres, for letting us hang out here,” Will said. 

“It’s no trouble at all, sweetie. Anything to help out your mother.” Mary-Jane’s smile faltered at the mention of Ms. Byers. “You tell her that you’re always welcome here, and if she needs anything at all, to just give me a call, okay?” 

Will nodded and the boys slipped out of the bedroom to eat and probably have a long-winded conversation with Walter about anything and everything. He loved his daughter dearly, but he was outnumbered by women in his home, so when Will and Luke started to come around more to give Joyce some space to get everything in order for their move, Walter was overjoyed getting to converse with a couple of boys. 

“Someone stopped by to say hi,” Mary-Jane said, causing Sunshine to furrow her brows. From beside her mom, a familiar face popped into view with an arm full of flowers and a cheeky grin. 

“Steve?” Sunshine said in surprise. She sat up straighter in her bed and tried to brush down the frizzy pieces of white hair that stuck out in different directions. 

“Hey,” he greeted, stepping into her bedroom. “These are for you guys.” He passed out three different bouquets of flowers to all of the girls. The younger girls all took them with surprised faces and slightly rosy cheeks.

“You got these for us?” Max asked. Her voice was still watery and eyes rimmed red, and by the way Steve looked at her, he picked up on it. 

He smiled softly and said, “Of course, red. I thought they might cheer you guys up a little bit.” 

“Thank you,” Leia said as she stuck her nose into the bouquet.

“Pretty.” El smiled brightly. 

“Come on, girls, before the boys eat all of the pizza.” Mary-Jane ushered the younger girls out before she turned to Steve. “You’re more than welcome to stay for dinner, honey.” 

“Thank you. I just, um…” Steve trailed off, glancing over at Sunshine. 

Mary-Jane’s lips quirked upwards in a smile as she said, “I’ll leave you two,” and left Sunshine’s bedroom, leaving Steve and Sunshine alone for the first time since that night at Starcourt. They had seen each other since, but not without the company of one of the kids or at one of the many funerals for the people they lost that night. Sunshine had been put on house arrest. Her parents didn’t know the extent to which she was banged up, aside from the ugly bruises that decorated her face and neck. She tried to not let it show that there was a constant ringing in her ears and her mind felt even more battered than her face. There was a relentless pressure that continued to drum against her temples, and it sometimes caused her vision to swarm. She knew it would take longer than ever before to heal after her fight with the Mind Flayer, but she didn’t know how much longer she’d have to deal with the troubling after-effects. 

“These are for you.” Steve held out a bunch of roses tied together with a little white bow. They were beautiful and unexpected. She felt that familiar flutter inside her stomach that only ever happened around Steve, and a warmth that spread across her cheeks. “I was going to get you sunflowers, but that felt a little too on the nose.” 

She laughed and rested the flower on the nightstand, making a mental note to use one of the pretty crystal vases her mom kept stored in one of the kitchen cabinets. When the sunlight hit the vase, it reflected a rainbow. 

“Thank you.” She pulled her legs up to sit crisscross before she padded the space beside her. Steve took a seat, running a nervous hand through his hair. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, totally,” he replied, not so convincingly. Clearing his throat, he turned to look at Sunshine. “How are you feeling? I was talking to your dad, and he said you seemed a little better since the kids were hanging around.” 

She sighed softly and shrugged. She didn’t feel great, but she also didn’t necessarily feel sickly. Sunshine felt weird, that was the only word that seemed to describe it correctly. Weird. It was like something inside her mind was thrown off or knocked loose during her fight with the Mind Flayer. Ever since that night, she felt flighty, as if she was watching herself from outside her body; there was a disconnect somewhere inside of her that she couldn't quite explain. 

“I’m okay. Better than I was.” Glancing off to the side, she caught sight of herself in her mirror over her vanity. There were muddled green and blue bruises covering her nose and cheeks. The dark blotches contrasted harshly with her newly white hair that had no proper explanation. Dr. Owens had some of his medical professionals check out Sunshine, El, Leia, and Luke a couple of days later and found no direct diagnosis for how El’s abilities stopped working, Luke’s visions of the past, or Sunshine’s white hair. They were awfully unhelpful, deeming it as stress, which only really made sense of Sunshine, not her siblings. Something else was up with El and Luke, but they had enough on their plate, and subjecting them to more tests would only stress them out even more. So, Sunshine tried to get used to her new look, along with the fading bruises across her face and neck from where Billy had choked her. 

“I guess I don’t really look like it, huh?” 

“What’re you talking about? You almost look as good as me,” Steve said, gesturing his to own collections of bruises around his eye. 

Sunshine laughed lightly, unwinding some of the heaviness that weighed on her chest. A short beat of comfortable silence passed between them before Steve cleared his throat. “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?” 

He looked nervous, toying with the fabric of her comforter under his hands and flickering his gaze between her and anywhere else in the room. “Well, you know how we had to cancel our date because of…well, everything?” Sunshine nodded. “I meant it when I said that I would make it up to you if we ever got out of that elevator.” 

Sunshine raised her brows in question. “Are you asking me out?” 

“Second time's a charm, I hope.” He chuckled but it faded quickly from his lips and his expression shifted into something a little more serious. “I realized something when I was hopped up on Russian drugs.” She winced as he hung his head. The doctors had found nothing seriously threatening in both Steve and Robin’s systems from the drugs the Russians gave them, but Sunshine still worried that there would be some kind of bad side-effects in the long run. He seemed fine, but she could tell there was still an air of slight panic whenever he or someone brought up the Russians. 

Steve shook his head. “No, that’s…that’s not how I wanted to start this. Forget I said that.” She said nothing, patiently waiting for him to find the right words. He sucked in a deep breath and started again. “When Robin and I ran off to the bathroom, we talked for a while, just about life and stuff. And when I was talking, everything just kind of tumbled out, stuff that didn’t fully realize until that moment. But then everything else happened so fast. We got split up. Then Billy and the Mind Flayer and you…” He trailed off, gazing intently at his lap for a moment before he closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. Sunshine scooted closer and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and encouraging him to continue. 

“You were just lying there, and it was like, all of that stuff I realized hit me, hard. I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to tell you. I mean, you were…we thought you were…” Dead, she finished inside her head. Either one of them said it aloud, but it was what they both were thinking. Sunshine thought she died too, by the way she felt. But she hadn’t; she had been one of the lucky ones that night, all things considered. 

Still holding his hand, Sunshine leaned forward just slightly, getting him to meet her eyes. “I’m right here, Steve,” she reminded him. “You can tell me now.” 

He stared at her, eyes swarmed with something she didn’t quite know. “You’re my best friend,” he said in a rushed breath like he’d been holding it back for so long it hurt. “You were my best friend when we were little, and you still are now. And even when you were gone, I felt like something important was missing from my life, but I couldn’t figure it out. Then you came back, and even with all of the crazy shit that’s happened, it was like everything made scene again with you here.

“I should have told you how important you were to me a long time ago, but I was scared because I didn’t know how you felt, or if I did, that I would lose you again. But then, that night, I thought we did lose you, and I was never going to get the chance to tell you any of it. I thought I wouldn’t get to tell you how much I like you, Sunshine. But I do. I really, really like you.” 

Sunshine sat speechless for a moment. Her heart felt like it was going to spring from her chest. Her face felt hot, and no proper words came to her mind. In all honesty, she had no idea what was doing until she began to do it, burning with emotions that made her brain feel fuzzy. Her next movements were fast, not very well planned, and clumsy. She leaned forward even more, quickly grasping the sides of Steve’s face, and pulling him close until her lips met his. She tried to remember every romantic movie El made her watch, but the second Steve’s surprise faded, his hands found her waist, and he kissed her back, everything in her brain melted.

There wasn’t some intense explosion like fireworks that ignited inside of her; it was softer than that, sweeter even. The kiss felt like the sun that set warmly outside, slow and in no rush but still bright and illuminating. Unlike all of the fights they endured and the complicated nature of their lives, in that moment, everything felt very simple and easy. It was only the two of them, together, and that was more than enough. 

After a couple of seconds, they pulled back, coming up for air and resting their foreheads together in a fit of smiles. 

“I really like you too,” Sunshine whispered. 

“I’m not totally convinced. You might have to kiss me again, you know, to really prove it.” 

She laughed but was swiftly cut off by Steve closing the small gap between them again. That kiss was still slow, but they were a little surer of themselves. They fit together with ease after an entire summer spent in a limbo of feelings and plenty of ‘almosts.’ Sunshine felt lighter; he was a bright spot in the dreary town, her own sunshine. 

Maybe nothing would ever be normal for them, as if it had ever been in the first place. But her siblings weren’t the only ones who would be getting a fresh start. 

Sunshine thought back to the girl she had been in the Lab, and how she wished she could have seen what the future had in store for her. At eighteen, years older than Subject Seven thought she’d live to, in a home with parents who loved her, siblings safe, and in front of a boy who made her feel wanted in ways the little girl never would have believed. Things were far from perfect, but her life was hers. 

Tagged. @sattlersquarry , @leptitlu , @two-sides-samecoin