#i just wanted to rewatch this interaction over and over again forever

[spirkbitch]

these gifs i just made bring me a lot of joy so i thought i’d share

[eisforeidolon]

Hi! Sorry if i'm bothering you but i needed someone to talk. About what happened recently with Destiel and Misha and the fans that believed in the things he said. I am new to Supernatural fandom, but i loved the story in an instant, thanks to Sam and Dean and their unique relationship. Then i became interested in Jared and Jensen too and i think that if Sam and and Dean are the heart of Supernatural then Jared and Jensen are the soul of the show because to me no other actor could have played Sam and Dean like they did. Now, returning to what i wanted to say i am really TIRED about Destiel, some Destiel shippers and especially Misha. I know he said some stupid thing about how CW is homophobic and how Destiel would be canon if they weren't homophobic. I don't ship Destiel because sincerely i don't see romantic love between Dean and Castiel, but this doesn't make me an homophobic person. His words are said with malicious intent. He also said some thing about how Jensen is attracted to him. I find this disgusting because he says this things only for his Destiel fan, knowing that his words are lies. Also Jensen not being there can't reply to his lies. Like i sad i'm new to Supernatural but some Destiel are making the experience in the fandom a constant war. They say that if you don't ship Destiel you are homophobic , that if you don't ship Destiel you are not a true Supernatural fan and the most stupid one... They say that Supernatural is about Dean and Castiel and their love. This make me really angry because Supernatural is about Sam And Dean, how they care for each other,how they save the world again and again and how they hunt monster and ghost and other things. But to me Supernatural is the unique love story of two brother and how they did everything to protect each other. I ship Wincest, but When i say love story i mean that Sam and Dean are Platonic Soulmates in Supernatural and even the show always remind us of that. I don't understant how Misha can say this thing without facing consequences because his words feed some Destiel fan that became hateful like him and whose mission is hating people who don't think think like them. Sorry for the long post and for the horrible english but it's not my first language. Sorry if i bothered you but i needed someone to talk to because sometimes i feel like leaving the fandom because Destiel hate and their war against everyone. I hope you will always have love and kindness in your life.

You really don't need to apologize for anything.❤️ You aren't bothering me and your English is fine - maybe not perfect, but hell, neither is mine some days! Thank you for the lovely sentiment, and I wish you the same - and that you do what is best for you in regards to this sometimes dumpster fire of a fandom.

If it helps, you're absolutely not alone. I've been in this fandom for years now, and some days it's sheer stubbornness against hellers obvious attempts to browbeat and drive everyone else out that keeps me here. They didn't get to take over the show through being loud and obnoxious and they don't get to monopolize the fandom by doing the same - and they can be butthurt forever over it.

I actually didn't mind Dean and Castiel as a ship at first. I'm always interested in what people take from a canon and then create entirely outside of it, and I read quite a lot of fanfic. Even then I was baffled by shippers insisting it was a thing in the canon, though. There was a brief period where I wondered if I'd somehow missed it, because I'm not generally really looking for romance stories and there were so many posts that were so insistent? So I actually did a rewatch focused just on Dean and Castiel's interactions - and came away with the impression they weren't actually even as good of friends as I'd originally thought, let alone anything like interested in each other romantically. The more I thought about it and the more meta I ran across and actually considered the details of? The more obviously baseless it was. I mean, some of it really is just genuinely so stupid it's hilarious. Cake. Bacon. Negative space. Widower arc. Bisexual lighting and/or plaid. But even the theorizing which wasn't absurd on its face? Always looked silly in comparison to how much more obviously and easily it had meaning in relation to the main story that plainly actually existed instead.

Meanwhile, I kept seeing more and more of those posts you mention insisting anyone who didn't ship it was a homophobe and they really pissed me off. Even if Dean and Castiel were a canon couple who spent half of each episode doing couple things and saying I love you back and forth instead of the entire show revolving around Sam and Dean's crazy tangled up lives with Castiel occasionally wandering in and out of the background with some angel nonsense or whatever? Not shipping it would not make someone a homophobe. Shipping is very subjective and any individual pairing can not appeal to any particular fan for a million and one reasons that have sweet fuckall to do with how they generally feel about LGBT+ relationships. Attempting to bully people into supporting a single very specific fictional relationship by trying to make them afraid of being branded a bigot if they don't is ridiculous as hell, regardless of how canon or not it is. How absolutely fucking disrespectful to all the people who have to deal with actual homophobia versus just being butthurt they can't force two particular fictional characters to kiss. It's so goddamn juvenile I can't even.

The longer I was in fandom, the more brain dead and divorced from the show the meta claiming Dean and Castiel were going to hook up any minute got. The more annoyed I became at all the absurd stereotypes about masculinity and sexuality they would parrot as gospel truth if it could "prove" Dean was into dudes and eventually the angel. The more obviously transparent their every cry of ~*homophobia*~ was when they tried to turn every real life LGBT+ issue and every canon LGBT+ character primarily into proof and/or justification regarding D/C. They're a bunch of entitled shitheads who not only feel like they should get to dictate what SPN is despite hating basically everything it actually was, but who are perfectly fine with co-opting serious real world issues to try and do it. I have no beef with normal D/C shippers who aren't assholes to everyone and mad at the show for not bringing their fanfic to life, but I can't stand the pairing at all even in a fandom sense anymore.

The evolution of my feelings on Misha followed a similar path. I liked Castiel well enough as a supporting character and I didn't actively dislike Misha, though after I'd seen a couple of panels where his answers were flippantly irreverent or unnecessarily raunchy, I wasn't really much interested in him. Then, over time, at the same time Castiel's character was more and more blatantly just eating up screen time to give J2 time off, he started getting worse and worse about ship-baiting. He'd act like everyone behind the scenes was talking about D/C - but then they (Jensen and Bob Singer most notably) would say that was untrue. He'd slyly hint about upcoming scenes in a vague way to imply D/C and then it would be something else entirely. He'd tell shippers about things that had been pointedly removed because they could seem leading and that was not the authorial intent, but without pointing out that was exactly why they were excised. His stories would change when he got a bad reaction - he went from saying he shipped wincest to pretending he'd never heard of it, he went from claiming Jimmy was going to appear in the original Roadhouse finale to it being Castiel, etc. Then there was framing horsing around with Jared as if he was a victim and not a participant and the incredibly inappropriate objectifying sexual comments about Jensen and Dean. All of which caused the fans falling for it to loudly and angrily attack everyone but him while they kept buying his ops/books/cameos/whatever. No matter how blatantly he queerbaits them and how upset they get over it and take it out on everyone else, he does not stop. He's an ungrateful creepy narcissist who will throw literally anyone or anything under the bus if he can get a buck out of it. Who also will proclaim he doesn't want to co-opt LGBT+ causes when he's desperately trying to keep his career on life support doing exactly that in the most skeevy, backstabby way possible.

Jared and Jensen put their hearts and years of their lives into this show bringing Sam and Dean to life, episode after episode, week after week, season after season. Telling an important story about platonic and familial love that you really won't find anywhere else.

Misha and the hellers have spent years trying to co-opt that to their own ends out of gross entitlement. They deserve each other, but the show and its actual fans don't deserve to have to put up with either of them. Unfortunately, we have the fandom we have, not the one we deserve.

[hockybish]

will mas talk to luke soon about them getting back together ?

I Can't Do It Like This Anymore

l the cute photographer au l luke x maisie l masterlist l

This girl had really been laying on the charm with Luke at the concert. She was trying to get him to come back to her hotel room with her, but he didn't want to.

"You know my hotel isn't to far from here. Whatdaya say we ditch and and go back?" The girl -Mallory as Luke had learned- flashed him a glimpse of her smile and a hotel key.

"Oh no thank you. I'm can't. I'm here with my brothers and friends. And you know it's kind of rude to um leave them?" Luke started off strong in his attempt to get Mallory to leave him alone.

He looked around at the group he had been with hoping one of them would come over and save him from this interaction, but no one was coming.

He felt Mallory slip the key card into the pocket of his pants and lightly pat the area. Letting him know he can have it, just in case her door is always open.

"I said no. I'm taken." Luke tried giving the key back, but she was already gone by the time he had gotten it out of his pocket.

Sighing he shoved it back into his pocket instead of throwing it away, an action he might regret later, and returned to enjoying the rest of the concert. But he couldn't, he couldn't get the interaction with Mallory out of his head.

During Fire Away, he walked out without saying anything. There were still so many people walking around, but Luke managed to find a quiet corner. He dialed the number of the person on his Lock Screen, the only person for him.

Maisie flopped on the couch, Roger the cat was making his way over to sit on her chest. It was the end of the day for her she was ready to climb into some comfy pajamas and continue her rewatch of grey's anatomy.

That was going to have to wait when her phone rang. She sat up and scrambled to answer before it went to voicemail.

"Hey Lukey! How's the concert? Wait you're still at the concert aren't you? Why are you calling? Is something wrong with you or Jack or Quinn? Or?" Maisie's happiness at the fact he called quickly turned into worry that something was happening and she wasn't there.

"Everything's fine Maize. I just miss you, that's all." Luke sighed. He slid down the wall he had been leaning against. There was another purpose to this call, but he'd get to that later. "How was your day?"

"My day" She paused for a second "was a day. Spent most of it with your mom trying to get her to like me and I just got back to the house when you called. And aside from talking to you, I'm heating up dinner." She grabbed the left overs from the fridge to heat up.

"What are you having?" Luke asked to keep her talking, building up his own courage to ask her something else.

"Fried rice from that one restaurant we like in town. I have a tiny bit leftover from when I got take out the other night."

"Is that it? You should really have more than that. I think there's some dino nuggies left in the freezer, eat those too, and a banana."

Maisie appreciated Luke taking care of her by reminding her of what she should be doing. Sometimes she forgot.

"What song is he singing now?" She could still hear the music in the background. Luke held the phone back to he identify it.

"Broken Halos"

"Oh I like that one! You're missing it, I should let you go, so you can listen." He knew that but he didn't care. He'd rather talk with her. He'd rather be with her than that Mallory chick.

"Luke? Are you okay?"

"No" He whispered

"What's wrong?" Maisie became alarm, and was ready to message Jack or Quinn while still talking with him.

"It's nothing bad. Please don't freak, but I can't do it like this anymore Maisie. I want us to be us again. Because I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I know, I know I promised I said I would wait for you for forever long it took you to be okay with us again. But I can't. I want you. I want to love you now."

"Luke .." Maisie knew this was going to be coming soon. She was going to have this talk as soon as he got back to Michigan. She believe's she is ready again.

"I got hit on tonight. Well I get hit on all the time, but it was different this time Maize. She openly told me she wanted to sleep with me and gave me her room key. I tried to give it back, but she was all like just in case and walked away. I didn't want to and I couldn't stop thinking about you and those nights when you snuck into my room at the house. And you're the only one I want"

Luke laid it all out on the line, hoping, wishing, praying that she would say what he had been dreaming she would.

"Are you done? I was hoping to have this talk in person, not over the phone." Luke's began to race, this was it. "I want us again too. I think I'm ready. If we go slow. Because I love you too. And I'm becoming too emotionally attached again for us just to be friends again."

"Really?" The biggest smile etched on Luke's face. He needed someone to pinch him, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Really Lukey"

"God I love you Maisie. But I gotta go now. Concert's over. I'll talk to you later, mkay?" The couple bid their adieus. Luke already had plans to look at rearranging his flight plans, but right now he needed to find his brothers.

"What's got you smiling?" Quinn cocked an eyebrow when Luke returned.

"Oh nothing." Luke tried but failed at hiding his smile which the guys teased him about on the ride home.

[superpowered-dirt]

i never post on here but i have so much in my head about twd: the ones who live i honestly feel like i might explode.

i know all anyone really wants to talk about from episode 2 is That Part of their reunion (which is fair, don't ask me how many times I rewatched it), but now, the part that keeps playing over and over again in my head is this tiny bit:

and i just need to say, danai and andy are so insanely talented bc this clip?? this clip—short as it is, with not a world of dialogue—says SO much about where our two characters are at.

first, rick. i watch this clip and i think holy shit, yeah, that is a broken man. andy does a masterful job at displaying through his eyes and the way he carries himself the extent of the psychological damage and anguish within rick, not to mention the guilt he carries. you can see the gears turning in his head as he reminds himself how he basically gave up on her. how he gave up on himself. how he told himself that he was done, he was never seeing her again, and let himself fold into the CRM. i think it's safe to say he hates himself for his choice to move on. he's utterly crushed by it. like look at him, he can't even meet her eyes!!

and michonne? she sees it. once the euphoria of I Found You has begun to wear off and she lets herself really take him in, she immediately clocks that this is not the same rick that "died" on the bridge. not the rick that led alexandria. not the rick that got them out of terminus. and definitely not the rick that stood up to the saviors. in fact, the last time she saw this version of him, it was right after the first time they ever lost to negan, and that horrifies her, because if that rick is back, then something truly terrible has happened. the look on her face in the clip says a million things, but most loudly, she's wondering, understandably and devastatingly, "my love, what have they done to you?"

the final clue for her that her rick is gone, at least for now, is their next interaction. since forever, both of their instincts anytime they've been told that something bad is coming their way have been to either hoof it for the safety of their family or stand back to back and dispatch the threat. it's the panic in his voice, the sheer desperation as he pleads with her to stand down instead and hide herself after she suggests they go that tells her she has no idea what he's been through or what she's in for now that she's in the shit with him. and even now, if the trailer for E03 has been any indication, she still fails to grasp the danger they're both in. i know what people online have been saying, but she's not being careless, this is michonne we're talking about, she just doesn't understand how careful she really has to be. and then throw jadis and her bitch ass bowl cut into the mix and suddenly a whole new threat looms over alexandria and the commonwealth that ultimately all comes back on rick too? the guilt he now has to face for not only dragging his wife into his mess, but through jadis, also his daughter and all his friends?? and if he finds out now that he has a son too, then there's even more guilt??????

i could go on for hours but i won't. all i'll say is that we're definitely in for such an emotional ride tomorrow. and really there's no one else i trust more than andy and danai to deliver that for us.

[notallwonder]

thinking again about cme 17x06. as one does.

Spoilers.

I wasn't going to post because I wrote this in a sort of fugue state after staying up super late watching the ep over and over when it first dropped. but I like having a record of what I was thinking, such as it is.

Esp about the brief discussion of BAUgate, and how jj specifically says her beef is that emily wasn’t honest with “...us, with *me*”. emily’s “I am” is earnest, but she’s on a slightly different page than JJ cuz she follows that with “honestly, I want to quit”. Emily’s still drowning in her feelings about how the job is fucking her up, jj’s just over here trying to be real with her about their relationship. And it really sounds like there’s more to the “it’s about being honest with *me*” than just BAUgate. Like….is JJ wanting more honesty about whatever the fuck happened to them? It’s not a huge stretch. I love AJ Cook's performance. when I first got into the jemily of it all with cm I was very focused on Emily but as time has passed and I've watched and rewatched, it's become clearer that JJ a huge engine driving what makes jemily interesting to me.

I’ve seen folks theorize that Emily’s knowledge of BAUgate is what caused the perceived distance between her & JJ in s16, but I personally don’t fully buy into that. Emily became unit chief in 2017ish, and section chief presumably sometime in 2020-2022. It’s unclear when she was briefed on BAUgate. She tells Luke about it like it’s mostly a done deal she inherited the problem/information, the issue was apparently dealt with, and she made a judgment call about informing them. But as he pointed out, you know once it’s on the Internet it lives forever. She’s can't be naive about that. And I think she's glossing over it a bit to try to calm him down. We’ve been given no indication that Rossi had this info, though he probably knew broad strokes, and he was UC for some amount of time. My guess is she was briefed in detail on BAUgate when she became SC. So I guess BAUgate could be a component of s16 tension with JJ, especially insofar as this is a big unspoken thing that Emily has shouldered alone in order to shelter her team/friends, and is potentially emblematic of a larger pattern of Emily withholding information and not feeling free to be open with JJ as a friend because of her professional responsibilities. But I think if we take their distance seriously it has to go deeper than this one thing. Because the weirdness between them goes back further than evolution. It’s also in the way JJ chose to fuck off to New Orleans instead of taking over as UC as Emily planned. [where does this fit in the “we don’t quit” narrative that JJ spins?]. It’s in the way we don’t know exactly why JJ & Will decided to move back to Virginia. It’s in the way some awkwardness, resentment, isolation, hurt, whatever brewed between them during the pandemic years (and before!), and perhaps unspoken history made it difficult for them to be normal with one another on a personal level.

To me, the weirdness of their interactions in s16 is most egregious in the lack of direct comfort/interaction after JJ & Luke were blown up in the shipping container. And maybe a little in the fact that Emily so happily greeted Will, of all people, when they all returned from California (made me laugh so hard my god). But the relative stiffness of their interactions has been consistent since season 12/13, I think (thinking about the what ifs/if onlys convo). As though one or both of them were making an effort to be professional but not too personal, or keep it benign and surface level because dealing openly with whatever they had going on deep down would be too painful.

I’m so glad this convo happened in a more relaxed setting. They were going to have a talk at the office! it would have been more buttoned up, might have even played more into the underlying tension between them. It wouldn’t have been JJ trying to keep Emily from quitting. Could have been harder for Emily to really hear all of what JJ was saying to her, in that environment.

Speaking of all of what JJ was saying. !!!

I agree this is a confession of love. And it’s fucking beautiful. It’s JJ being vulnerable about how much Emily’s presence in her life means to her. JJ’s telling Emily that they are stronger than their predecessors in part *because they have been a source of strength for each other, for years.* Paris, the miscarriage, yes. And, and. JJ is and has always been so strong as an individual. But Emily was also JJ’s quiet strength in Georgia, the hospital waiting room, the stalking case, the bank robbery, in Reid & Penelope’s abduction, in East Allegheny. JJ saw and believed in Emily’s humanity - her hidden dreams - from early days. She pulled her through those bleak 7 months in exile. How many times has JJ taken the sting out of Emily's mood like she did on the jet in 11x19 Tribute? JJ is making herself a source of strength for Emily, right here in this conversation (*make* them fire you!, don’t just roll over). They have such a history of mutuality: of comradery, kindness, deep care, showing up. It’s not romantic in name but can easily be read that way. It’s *really* fucking romantic, even if it’s platonic. Do you know what I mean???????

I’m obsessed with AJ Cook’s choices throughout. OBSESSED.

The way JJ pauses for that moment after “it gives me you”, making steady eye contact, letting it really sink in. She got brave, and it landed. Then she kind of rolls her eyes at herself, maybe a little annoyed at the tears starting to come, maybe a little embarrassed that she’s letting this truth out into the world.

And the “Always.” Dropping eye contact, retreating from the moment a bit. A bit afraid to watch Emily’s reaction - but also she does very deliberately look directly at Emily again for a split second! That “Always” has carried a torch, for a very long time. That “Always” at least never admitted to Emily how much it hurt when she left. How much the distance has hurt.

~ I’ve been through hell in this job but it brought us together (I love you). You’ve kept me going through awful things (I love you). Of course I’ll support you whatever you decide (I love you). I’ll always support you even when you leave me (I love you). You’ve left me before and it hurt and it didn’t stop me from loving you (I love you). Please hang on; please stay; please come back to me (I love you, I love you, I love you). ~

*gentle screaming*

And, oh my god, Emily’s reactions. Emily had no idea this conversation was going to go where it did. Immediately defensive when JJ mentions Paris - she’s still in the part of the game where she’s protesting being convinced to stay, and Paris feels like a low blow. The way she crumples into “oh goddammit” when JJ brings up the miscarriage. Oh now it’s clear this is going deeper. Like, WHAT is the full story there??!! JJ was pregnant when she came to Emily’s rescue, right? So the attack and miscarriage happened while Emily was tucked away in Paris. We know JJ was Emily’s only(?) connection to her real life in that period, and here’s confirmation that Emily was a lifeline for JJ during that time as well, perhaps implying that she wasn’t confiding in her husband, at least not fully. You know how JJ tends to keep the hard things to herself, and she was forced to keep secrets for her safety and Emily’s safety. But she shared this with Emily. Maybe Emily had to push her (she “didn’t quit” on JJ), but they were already both in the dark, so to speak, so JJ could let herself lean on that support without bringing that darkness into her home life. Emily’s “goddammit” to me sounds like: memories of grief upon grief upon desperate isolation. Sounds like: I put those memories away and it took something out of me to do it. Sounds like: That was when their love for each other deepened, grew richer and more complex. That was when something more might have started to bloom between them, some doomed but lovely unnamed thing. And then it was locked away. And JJ has the audacity to acknowledge it? Now? Emily’s been spiraling about what’s the point of fighting this battle, when I feel like I’m losing myself? And JJ calls up the memory of this awful, bleak time when they both felt horrendously lost and they *got each other through it.* I mean. I MEAN

I love Emily’s shocked reaction as JJ’s confession lands. Either Emily’s feelings never breached the platonic barrier (not my interpretation!), or she put away the possibility years ago and did her damnedest to not look back. You can see her wheels turning, her uncertainty about what JJ’s revealed, her wanting to tread carefully. And when Rossi texts and she has to make a choice? JJ’s looking at her with those big blue eyes. Time to table the full depth of the moment. Sprinkle in a little bravado. The thing about being an adult is, you still have to go to all hands meetings while you’re having an earth shattering realization.

……..

Another thing about “it gives me you.” JJ has probably resigned herself to the fact that working at the BAU is the only way she gets to “have” this much of Emily. It’s part of why she came back from New Orleans, even if never acknowledged or articulated.

You know it’s a good scene when it makes me want to watch a bunch of other scenes. Even scenes I hate. Like…I want to revisit Reid talking Emily off the ledge, the truth or dare confession (loathsome!), the scene where Emily decides to stay on as UC in s12 (love this one). The Forever People (Mr Macbeth my beloved).

Honestly maybe JJ’s poly and she doesn’t know it, hasn’t let herself consider it. She’s evidently got a lot of love to give. And that needn’t be framed as some kind of betrayal of her vows or callous carelessness with her friend’s hearts, not to my mind. Plus, like, three cheers for letting your love for someone simply be what it is, however amorphous or uncategorizable, however little you can or want to act on it.

*******

Oh my god I’ve watched this scene over and over and over. I have total brain worms about it. I feel insane. I forgot to eat lunch and dinner

*******

Jennifer Jareau. This is AJ Cook’s season, it’s her show now. I am all the way in forever and ever

.

.

.

when CME socials started posting Jemily stuff and AJ said “ultimate Jemily moment” and Paget lightly teased……I just laughed. Like, okay, sure, ancient CBS procedural. Sure, my little carousel of disappointments. Sure. LOL. After all these years, they are not going to go there, and I wouldn’t even want them to.

I did not in a million years expect them to crack open the door like this. I still don’t think they’re going to break up JJ & Will. I am not expecting a Jemily kiss. But after this episode - the pathway to such a thing is clearer than it was. And now I think if they did choose to go there, they could maybe (maybe!!) even do it well. Shocking development. Has a lot to do with AJ's performance tbh. The writing is fine, despite the way it seems to twist the facts of canon around bts reality. But she's the one laying JJ's heart bare.

.

.

.

If this is it, the full extent of JJ’s and Emily’s scenes together this season (which would be weird!), I will still walk away with warm feelings. I’m honestly feeling so grateful for the way this episode gave them room to honor the history of these characters.

Grab your keys. Let’s fuckin’ roll.

[cerulean-crow]

I was a creepypasta and mlp grimdark kid- I absolutely loved them and they definitely shaped my interests in horror and gore that I have now! I am not immune to the nostalgia of these infection au’s, and honestly I am thriving. I love reading everyone’s ideas and seeing everyone’s art, and I got inspired to try my own hand at one!

I’ve been calling it the Crystal Heart Contagion. I am not sure how far I’ll take this but it’s fun to draw and think about. I considered going a bit crazy with actual gore, but this was just supposed to be a concept page and I wanted to keep it simple and just flesh out some ideas I had bouncing around in my head. Besides, I actually really like body horror that doesn’t involve a ton of gore- and like that note says, has an air of beauty alongside the disturbing elements.

Again, not sure how far I’ll take this- so I’m just gonna jot down some thoughts and notes! I’ll put ‘em under the cut because I am very wordy <3

Also I try to tag my stuff as best as possible because I know not everyone loves horror and these Mlp horror au’s as much as I do! I don’t want people to interact with my posts if it makes them uncomfortable, so if I miss a tag please let me know.

The Crystal Heart Contagion is transmitted when infected crystals come into contact with one’s bloodstream. The afflicted will experience body pains and stiffness at first, hemophilia, and symptoms like lethargy and migraines. The crystals will begin to form in clusters on the skeletal system, eventually breaking through the skin and, after a long enough period of time, will completely petrify the afflicted in solid crystal.

I imagine that one’s teeth, hooves, and horns are where crystals will begin to break through first. I like the idea of stylizing manes as they crystalize- but that’s exploration for another day!

I am currently thinking of the infection more like a parasite of some kind. Parasitic crystals that feed on magic and rely on living creatures to carry them farther in order to spread themselves.

The infection originally didn’t do much to change one’s personality, they would just get weaker and weaker as they were overtaken by the crystals. It was only when the infection started again, when Equestria was home to many more different species and overflowing with way more magic, that the crystals would begin to mutate at a rapid rate. Those afflicted would begin to show signs of aggression that would have them attacking others, thus leading to further spreading.

Some physical details I like is the eyes hollowing out and resembling geodes! Crystals emerging from the spines, horns becoming crystallized, and crystals forming over teeth and jaw to create fangs are all stuff I would love to flesh out in further detail.

I also love the idea of the chest ripping open to reveal a crystal heart held in a crystallized ribcage! I think I will forever be influenced by the Angel Trap in Saw 3

The idea of this infection is still developing and I’m still doing a lot of research and thinking on the words to describe it. My original thoughts took inspiration from a parasitic infection and rabies. My brain also likes thinking of it like a mold in how it spreads or thinking of the crystals like a coral reef (mostly as a visual inspiration)

The background and timeline is all still a work in progress. I haven’t rewatched the full series in so long and I’m implementing plenty of my own headcanons- so it’s all very vague right now.

The original idea is that the infection started during King Sombra’s reign. He created these parasitic crystals and unleashed them upon Celelstia and Luna’s army with the hopes of dwindling their numbers and expanding the reach of the Crystal Empire further through the Frozen North. When he was sealed away, Celestia and Luna would bring several of the infected back to Equestria for study. They would hide them away deep underground beneath a mountain, where the lack of nutrients in the rock would eventually cause the crystals to stop forming and enter some kind of hibernation.

Celestia would later build Canterlot after the banishment of Nightmare Moon, and she would use the very kingdom itself to block off the caverns and keep them hidden for everyone’s safety.

The Crystal Caverns would become known again during the Canterlot Wedding when Cadance and Twilight escaped from them. However, nothing would ever happen after the fact, and Celestia and Luna would continue to hope that with Sombra sealed away and the crystals dormant for so long, that this infection was truly no more.

When I first got this all in my head, the idea was that Flurry Heart’s Crystalling was what caused the parasitic-crystals to get a kickstart of energy and begin spreading again.

That is the part where the timeline starts getting really wonky. Cause I think I’d want Twilight to be running her school and have the young six around, but that’s in season 8 and the crystalling was in season 6. But I can honestly fudge the timeline however I want, it’s an alternate universe after all.

I think that Celestia sacrifices herself in order to save Luna and help as many people flee Canterlot as possible. This was when I still very early into thinking this au through and a potential story that could be told with it- and with the worldbuilding I’ve been doing over the last few days I don’t entirely know if it still fits. I love the scene in my head that comes from it though- so I decided to keep the sketch of crystallized Celestia in the end.

I love the idea of crystals on her head mimicking sun rays! And her forelegs and wings becoming one so she staggers around like a wyvern. That’s definitely a design I would love to flesh out if I get the time.

I am having fun!

[ygodmyy20]

Opps this post got forgotten! But if I don't post it today when will I!?

Okay so, I've been thinking for awhile on the question: why do I like terumob and why did it take over my brain? What is it about it...what caught my interest. As someone who was very NOT into ships when i first got into mp100, why did I crashland into this one?

This post has been in progress for like....weeks now? Nearly a month? 3 months? Yea.

Okay so. Here we go. THOUGHTS! On terumob and why the fuck I like it. Below the cut.

Like I mentioned, when I first finished Mob Psycho 100 in June of this year I wasn't into any ship. I was actually REALLY NOT into ships. I really liked gen. I wanted to explore the characters and I loved the complex relationships between everyone but I didn't want it to be overshadowed by romance. I purposely steered clear of any and all ship art.

But then I started to see some TeruMob fanart and I was like "Aw man, they are so cute and squishy." And I started to like them....just a lil bit. ONLY A LITTLE BIT.

BUT then I read more Teru-centric fics, read Teru analysis' and then I was like. Oh shit, Teru is 100% so into Mob it's like....this kid has it bad. He has a major crush. And even on the rewatch I am like WOW yep, confirmed in my brain, Teru has it bad. The subtext of his pinning is JUST so there for me. I didn't even have to look hard for it. I suddenly was very in on the Teru-one-sidded part of the ship.

But here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of ships like that... feels too unrequited. Hard for me to really like it. I need to have some level of something from both sides. Just how I am.

So that still leaves the question.

When and how does Shiego liking Teru work? Is there any subtext for that or am I just making it all up because I want the ship to work for me?

(which also is fine ya'll, no judgement if you ship two characters that barely interact, thats the fun of fandom stuff!)

I mean, all things considered, Shigeo likes Tsubomi. Scratch that, he REALLY likes Tsubomi. Shiego loves very strongly, like all his emotions. And he definitely likes Teru, they are good friends, so I kept thinking: where and how does that cross into a crush to me, for these characters?

Teru cares a lot, he adores Shigeo—Shigeo is kind, he is powerful, he is everything Teru wants to be. But are there places where I see this same level of intensity from Shigeo?

Annnnnnnnd then I got to their fight in season 3.

Everything Shiego did to Teru was so pointed. So raw and angry. Like I said, I think Shigeo feels his feelings very strongly and, I don't know, just the fact that he PERSUED Teru to humiliate him EXACTLY in the same way again, tells me that their first meeting had an intense impact on him. We don't see a lot of his feelings on his meeting with Teru, besides the brief ??? in that episode. After meeting Teru, it's just...life goes on as normal for them. But deep down I don't think Shigeo ever really tackled his complex feelings about Teru and their first meeting.

So it all comes out, its all be stewing for AGES, and what comes out is mean. It's aggressive. It's almost sarcastic? It's what happens when we let things chew us up inside and comes out all twisted.

Teru evoked such a strong reaction from Shigeo, even if Shigeo didn't admit it or express it, that I can't help but think, after things have settled, after he has spent more time adjusting to his whole self...after they both take time to really examine themselves and grow....

....that Shigeo wouldn't develop stronger feelings for this boy who also turned his world upside down. Who made him feel such strong emotions, who changed his world too.

Teru was forever changed by meeting another esper his age.

I think Shiego was too.

And I think where I started to love them was after the finale, after Teru's acceptance of Shiego for who he was.

I don't want to pigeonhole any of the espers into only being able to date other espers. But I also....yes, Shiego is a normal kid, but he is also Shiego.

Teru is a person who understands the strength it takes to keep that power, who has seen Shiego at all sides. His best and his worst.

But gosh this scene....

OUGHGGH

JUST THROW ME IN A RIVER WHY DON"T YOU

Yeah this whole scene just.....just yea. OUGH.

But yeah I just feel like Teru's crush would only grow after that. He would see Shigeo as a person over an all powerful esper.

While I like to think Shigeo's would develop over time and them smack into him like a runaway freight train. Because Shigeo FEELS so strongly, for all his emotions. He feels sadness strongly, he feels love strongly, he feels anger strongly—he just feels everything SO strongly. That is why he is powerful, that is why he is who he is, that is why ??? became what it is.

Anyway. My thoughts have ended and that's all i got. Thanks for coming to my ted talk of rambling mess that has been in progress for months that I realized whelp with the anniversary of the end of S3 nearly here, mind as well post it.

[matrixwhore]

IWTV S2 Watch Thoughts EP 1

This is technically a rewatch, but I literally just finished watching this for the first time like yesterday and i'm watching it again 🤭

It's been a while...that is one part intentional and was always going to be the way I approached S2. It was also one part very necessary that I took time away from online and just focus on my life, and one part so much anticipation of the show that I couldn't watch it until I was absolutely ready. This show means a lot to me for a lot of reason beyond just watching it. So yeah I'm gonna just stick with the point of this post. I am watching IWTV from a disability lense. Among the other themes and different angles to look at what's happening on the show I often consider how disability/ableism interacts with blackness, how it interacts with ageism, how it interacts with mental instability, how it interacts with gender, religion, class etc. etc. etc. etc. I'm mostly doing this for me to get my thoughts out, but I love to talk about this show, so I just want people to keep in mind the angle I come to this w if for whatever reason there's something to say about what I got to say (not that, that really matters in the grand scheme). It seems obvious to me why this lens is necessary, but I'll note here that the show literally opens in S1 with an aged disabled man staring down the finality of his life and deciding to chase after the fountain of youth/the fountain of forever that never flows with water (I'll never stop thinking about that conversation on here!) that refreshes no one even as they are imbued with power (supernatural ability).

Season one was structured like a hunt being played out like games. Poker, then chess and then at the end the play (as in the staged play but also as in the hand in the game!) was revealed. In S2 there's a clear interaction with being in a staged play and being on trial and that matters to me because how often trials are like plays especially when you are being judged as a person with intersecting marginalized identities. I think about who is a witness, and who gets to testimony with their voice, and when and why someone is judged as guilty and who is directing the play (and trial), and who gets a speaking role, and what do they get to say when they are allowed to speak. Lynchings for black people were trials fast tracked to executions, they didn't have a say about the supposed "crime" they committed, about their death as as result of their supposed guilt and about the fact that their death existed as entertainment much like these plays, for the white people who attended with their children even. (This too is a conversation about disability. this is a conversation about ableism as the mechanism that keeps every marginalization/"ism" functioning as we know them, but lemme slow down) so...yeah, much to think about.

please this is about s1 but it shows up in the previously ons....the opening of the story Louis is telling that takes place in NOLA "the year was 1910" and we see the Fairplay in lights! AINT NOTHING FAIR ABOUT THIS PLAY! my chest is in knots

also Claudia as a poison, a venom. forbidden both as the forbidden fruit and the snake in the garden... I'll have to come back to this train of thought...maybe, maybe not idk. have we said this already? the thinking pieces are many on here.

anyways!

(9 minutes into the show this is already so long I'm putting this under a read more)

What Can the Damned Really Say to the Damned?

In the title the war is on top (somewhere Beyonce's love on top is playing...I know it is...) bombs being dropped on what would be heaven if not for the fact that they are already in hell. It is not just the vampires with hungry mouths for death, it is also the cities themselves (oh I did say this somewhere already I'm sure)

thinking about their escape from what they perceived as hell equating/being: existing under Lestat and his domination over them, is revealed as just one facet of the hell that has always already existed around them. I wonder sometimes if they had managed to find somewhere that wasn't even more war torn than the life they left behind (leave the battle to join the war. win the battle to lose the war foreshadow foreshadow) what that could have been for their relationship because my heart weeps okay?! But Claudia knows she has to find other vampires. she isn't enough for him no matter what Louis tells himself to dream at night.

_____________

Claudia doesn't dream, she goes after the life she believes she deserves and that's what I think she wants Louis to know when she insists she doesn't dream. That is what she finds he fails in relating to her on i think. it's one of the things anyway. Maybe she's also saying all she has is nightmares. There are no dreams. not in her waking, not in her sleep. Idk im getting ahead of it.

Louis: "She might have said that to shut me up, but yet, she writes it here. So, let's believe it"

Daniel: "Let's."

keeping in mind everything is part of the play/trial. also that the trial that takes her life itself is a spector over their lives. that the journals were and still are Claudia's only voice (the only space she had the ability to express honestly and the only space where they "listen" to her) and how they are used out of context to legitimize or delegitimize her in their (Louis, the court, lestat, Daniel, Armand and on and on.) own experience even with her. ugh so much so much I'll get to it.

_____________

please delainey is already so cute climbing out the ground 🤭 murdering dying soldiers. das my baby fr! nobody touch me! i wanna raise her. i too would have begged to keep her! 😭 (don't remind me of this when I'm on Louis about this....I get to keep truths in the shadow too! I'm ahead of myself!)

thinking about the fact that they dig their own graves for the days, bury themselves to sleep and then every night they crawl out of their graves to keep on enduring hell (foreshadow foreshadow). the imagery of the birth of a vampire in many other vampire lores being crawling out of their own graves comes to mind. and this is kind of their birth seeing as how this is them as vampires officially out on their own for the first time really.

____________

Armand continually cutting in is taking if FOR ME personally. He is so funny like you're 500 year old parent trying to make jokes pleaseee. 🤭 this is followed closely by Claudia throwing Louis the ripped out heart of a dying soldier.

____________

let us take a moment with Louis to ponder Claudia's inability to dream as a deficit. meanwhile he is tormented by his dreams even in his waking. his dreams being made up of dreamlestat makes me think his pondering of her lack of dreaming here is related to his inner belief about whether or not she is capable of love. his nightmares are linked to his love for lestat and the torment it causes him to have been involved in his "demise". so I wonder if he has this view of her lack of dreaming because she was able to kill lestat and would have had he not intervened. and because he doesn't feel she loves him--Louis. and because he doesn't see her anger towards him as rooted in love loss because of the betrayal she feels. love loss would indicate she can and did love him and he lost that love. she is seen as someone who can't love. just like she can't dream. because it's easier to ponder these things as a deficit in Claudia for him. (for now)

Armand likens it to the sleep of an infant while she out there providing for Louis and herself. I have to laugh. Such is her existence. she got the papers, she facilitates the meals, she makes the plans, she learning all the languages, she still the baby! even though she's not. because she is. even when she's not.

(off topic, kind of, but I saw a gif set of Assad saying Armand would love Buffy and it made me so happy. I agree and his favorite episode is Buffy S6 I can't remember the episode number..maybe 5 or 6, but it's the tabula rasa episode! He was on his tablet writing a think piece about why Willow is misunderstood in that episode when he was playing Rashid. He might be writing it right now at the table 😂. I like to think his username was TheRealRashid, because it makes me laugh even more every time Daniel calls the real real Rashid "Real Rashid").

__________

The switch from the very controlled way Armand appeared in S1 as Rashid to the very relaxed way he appears now. Is this the first we see him in white? He wants to be seen as an angel so badly. one thing about Armand he gonna let that chest peak! I like this white button down!

He's not part of the interview but he's at the table, he's not eating bc he is no longer an actor he's directing, the table is part of his home, but his home is the stage, this is all part of the play/trial. viewers included, we are all part of it (the writers did allude to that before the season started, but it's exciting to experience it) the play and are all on trial. the Théâtre des Vampires is also a haunting over their lives.

________

Claudia calling Louis dumb, Louis playing dumb ,made me laugh a little bit. it made me laugh! I'm sorry. but it fascinates me because she cannot get around without an adult, but here she passes him off as an invalid because she is leading this expedition and he is barely useful in this journey. I think it's interesting that Louis doesn't consider she might be too tired to dream when he is under the framework of believing she doesn't dream.

________

She also doesn't talk to him but she writes everything. I have so much to say on Claudia and her journals, but I really want to get into it more when we get to the trials. She can't talk to him and have her full experience considered. Also he literally choked her. He always talks about it like she's angry because he wouldn't let her burn lestat, but he doesn't reflect much on how he stopped her from doing that. he knows it's fucked up enough when lestat did it to her. he doesn't consider that he choked the trust out of their relationship.

ALSO

Louis never drank from black people in NOLA so this, I guess, this is his first time of being confronted with drinking blood as drinking life meaning whatever life the person lived being consumed can be miserable. he is confronted with this now because the inescapable misery of this war. (inescapable misery......) this makes me think about who lestat chooses to kill and how Louis viewed him for who he chose. it makes me think of when they drank from the tenor who mostly led a good life. it makes me think about how lestat is ruled by hedonism in many ways. it also makes me think about this as his abuse and monstrosity doubling as sheltering them from the dreadful scope vampirism. I imagine lestat figured this out on his own and that is something he considered when choosing his victims. he learned to read their minds as part of his hunt and that's what he passed on to Louis. he learned to consider their inner world before drinking from them. they, Louis and Claudia, don't have the luxury of doing that where they are right now. There is no escape from the misery. there is no life untouched by the chill of death in this all consuming war. there's no dreaming. no hope. only surviving. tho I do think the only hope he has is dreamlestat and that is also torment. I think about how Louis' vampirism is an all consuming war. and I do want to jump just a little. just a little!

Claudia staring at that fire like oh we really speaking French now talking about "we're taking it all in." and "we can't get warm." even tho Claudia has only known a life on fire she has never been able to stay warm, but okay Louis.

I really like this scene. Louis talking to himself is a running theme that I'm kind of obsessed with.

_______

Louis knocking off that jaw and it turning to dust means something! It means something!!!! Claudia's hope for a future with vampires better than lestat being a long dead thing. a dead on arrival thing. what he did to them being turned to dust at Louis' touch. I think about that in terms of how the hard truth that they where better off with out him being as good as dust to Louis at this point anyway. even if he can't say it out loud.

_______

I know that dead weight hit, but at least she put it in a journal Louis! he would have never known had he not read it. but you 🫵🏾 Louis! you like to say that quiet part out loud! I can only do so much understanding!

________

"Unworthy in San Francisco, unworthy in Dubai. Disregard!" I'm sure there's something to say here but I cannot stop laughing. He really went from dad jokes to scorned mother talking shit.

_______

Claudia still taking souvenirs. I was gonna ask what does she even need the gun for. I can think of how it can be used even by vampires. but I doubt it's being used.

_________

I know why the caged bird crawls out of lestat's neck and flies away!

__________

bloodletting anyone always used to feel like murder until he murdered lestat (the only one who isn't actually fully dead). do we call this growth? im joking

__________

in romania is really the upfront conversation of what do people believe about what they witness. what do they cast doubt over in order to shield themselves with. and off the strength of even possibility what precautions do they take? I like that this happens before we get to the theater in Paris that makes a show out of this very thin line.

anyways the excitement of possible vampires that aren't lestat (and Louis) break Claudia's silent treatment.

__________

Emilia said "you will make the friends" because vodka surely that is a unifying vice. but they black Emilia. they aren't just American. they are black. I have to laugh.

___________

I just know Claudia is tried of seeing Louis' walls come down, quiver, at the sight of any half decent looking white man with an accent. because what is there to trust about him enough to break character right now??n(that he ends up as the someone untrustworthy by this very same man later on like...)

I need time to think irt to memory and Louis. I'll circle back.

__________

Daniel hanging on to the legitimacy of this interview like a life line. his power lies in the investigation he's more than capable of.

_________

something something about kids turning darkness into song, and Claudia being an eternal morbid child likened to a caged bird singing with clipped wings imprisoned in an eternal night and still not fitting in with these morbid singing children who's wings have been clipped by war and occupation something something and the looming threat of the vampire on them all.

__________

the cover being searching for his wife with a picture of his sister, while he looks for vampires with his daughter/sister now provider. this is so normal. all of this is so so normal.

"up your bum" I am laughing. I am laughing. this is all so normal. Morgan said "I know what you are"

what I have to say about memory and Louis is tied in with something I have to say about Louis being regarded always as exceptionally untrustworthy in comparison to those around him (who also lie). I need to chew on it a bit.

even when he wants to be genuine (giving his real name) he is lying (just looking for his wife). are his intentions nefarious in this lie. not exactly, but by the very nature of being a vampire yes, but not in the way this man is thinking of it, except to this man exactly in the way he is thinking of it. because oh! he is black and it does matter. This white man feels it his duty to keep this black man in line with the rules and the laws (themes motifs we'll see this again, we see this often). never mind what it would mean for him to turn back and take his punishment for his black daughter who this white man has seen and knows would be left alone should this Louis turn back and take his punishment. because they do see her as a child. so does she also go back to take her punishment as well? and what is her crime? and if no crime. isn't it still a punishment she would suffer regardless? isn't her fate always intwined with the ways in which Louis doesn't adhere to laws and rules expected of the black man. expected of the fledgling vampire. I see this in so many ways as Louis still fatally underestimating how his vampirism (and his blackness) separates him from others existing in time and space in a way that he does not.

(preemptive anxieties: anyone with the urge to tell me it's not about Louis being black should remind themselves that they flat out have Louis calling himself the magical vodka negro and keep it.)

_________

delainey is so infectious the way she plays Claudia's excitement. 🥺

Louis said baboons. please this why she told that man you dumb Louis.

_________

something something lestat left in a dump yard to feed on rats. something something them sleeping in where the rats lived, something something the rats at the theater to come and Claudias fate (more later), something something Louis to share a rat meal with lestat. something somethings.

_________

"why you laughing with them giving out your real name?"

like I said, Claudia perceived in her coldness, but her coldness is her awareness of their vampirism and how it separates them and their blackness and how it separates them and her black girlhood/womanhood and how it separates her from Louis.

thinking about the difference between the old vampires with powerful blood running through their veins and options of blood to feed on and the old vampires that are seemingly weak by comparison being sick. sick by the the age maybe? the misery? and maybe the blood they have to survive on...

________

oh yeah Louis is also choking the life out of their "freedom" by carrying lestat with them. there's also that.

I wanna cry that the one vampire that she "finds" that isn't a bastard is one she has to have made and that's so very short lived.....

_______

so this thing with Louis actively working through his memory right. the reveals come in his being able to testimony. Dubai also serves as a trial and here Louis gets to speak. and here Claudia only gets to say what's written in her journal and what we know of her experience is still perceived by the men who pick apart her experience by way of her journals. it's important that Claudia writes down that she doesn't dream. tells Louis that she doesn't dream. but is seen by Louis most likely dreaming. so does she not remember her dreams? does she lie to Louis and her self about those dreams? Does she not qualify them as dreams because they are nightmares? We will never know. We will never know because she does not get to testimony. She does not matter as a witness. Louis as a witness and his testimony is held under the same ableist scrutiny that victims of abuse, survivors of assault, black people, and mentally ill people critically face when it comes to the law. Do they speak of what they remember perfectly? Do they get to speak at all? and when they don't remember perfectely they are liars even if it's just that they are remembering incorrectly. Even if they believe what they remember and tell it that way because they believe it. I know that he does lie, but THEY ALL LIE. everyone. he is seen as exceptional in this often by the viewers included because we are also part of the play and the trial and like the audience at the theater (I do recall the great "Louis is a liar" wave of s1) and by everyone around him even tho he suffers from what is only natural about memory and age as well and memory irt to trauma and mental illness as well as memory irt to the difference of perspectives. This is why it is very important that Daniel is the other side of this memory coin. he is also the other witness that corroborates a truth about San Francisco that is missing for both of them, but we will get to that. Mental illness and blackness (and for Claudia girlhood/womanhood intersecting with blackness) disable credibility. disable worthiness. disable fair play! I want to get into Claudia more, but I will later.

and I think this moment with Louis crying because he is able to uncover a truth beyond his Claudia's diaries and what she says to him, hidden within his own memories is really one of the first times Daniel is forced to confront the full scope of Louis humanity. his experience. he is uncomfortable with the rawness of authenticity not because he hasn't seen Louis cry. I think because he also carried an inner belief that Louis is a liar. that his is not a credible source rather than that his is a traumatized vampire that is reaching back through time to make the monster that is memory reveal what is real and true about what happened all those years ago. I consider his sarcasm when Louis stressed how important it was that they got every detail right. that they got them accurately. this eats at him. and this is the first time Daniel has to sit with viewing Louis as a meal as well.

__________

anyways there's a trial in romania as well. on whether Emilia is a monster for having possibly been bit by one. the very possibility of truth in superstition means her head rolls. the occupying soldiers are the judge, jury, and executioner. and even though this situation does involve a vampire, the fallout and impact of what vampires do to humanity are viewed, by Louis and Claudia, as a separate human issue that they will not involve themselves in. because their aim here to join that issue and make friends with it. in a way they cannot with non-vampire humans.

__________

the caged bird sings to scare the locals! (well in this case not the locals but you get my point)

__________

Forgive me, I keep hearing They Not Like Us every time I see this vampire omg!

he's no good as a vampire anymore because Claudia disabled him by taking his eyes, so he dies. and the vampire who kills him prophesies Claudia's demise it seems, dreams only for a moment a life with them off of Claudia's sweet blood (with the power of lestat coursing through it) and she then jumps in the fire. for the hopelessness and the endless loss, and probably for having been the one to have to kill her own son and also for not being able to make anyone new vampires.

the blood is no good for turning vampires. Louis says "maybe you need better blood" where she gonna get it Louis? where can she get this elusive better blood?

"all those that in darkness go into the darkness" she says this to Claudia specifically. then she jumps into the fire and burns! that means something I know it does. as well as the rest of what she says that feel very much like a warning. dreams give you their names and die right before your very eyes.

__________

I was getting side-eyed for noting that it's (seemingly) been many nights since the warmth of infatuation and the heat of needy fucking transpired in this home of theirs. but there that groan is. in between them. like I am truly a loumand fuck crazy and nasty truther, it's just the chill is right here before my very eyes in the text. that freaky feeding at the dinner table in front of Daniel was a reawakening that's all I was saying. that's all I was saying! 🤭

I wanna believe someone figured out what book that was on Armand's iPad...if someone did. I wanna know.

Armand goes from notes in the margin participation to directing the course of this thing.

He is on the record and now Louis is leading the expedition in the past! I love that their intimacy is always played up when they really get into the act! and we are certainly on a different act.

and now Armand is dressed in grey. just little observations. it means something im sure.

_______

the hard words and soft words from Louis! He really does weave through being brother and father and mother. their relationship is so normal. He wanna believe he's being real with her even with dreamlestat sitting right there. He's choosing and she's choosing to believe him. they both need it.

[seecarrun]

My pal!!!!!! My friend!!!!!!! I'd like to tell you a beautiful little secret!!!!!! You want to know what that.....

Domesticabuseshipping is dead you genwunners!!!!!!!!!

Amourshipping is canon losers!!!!!

Ah man. Normally I would just delete this and go on with my day, as I am a whole ass adult with like, a husband and child and career and mortgage and shit, and I haven’t seen childish fandom bullshit like this since literally the 1990’s, and I have better, more important things to do with my life and you are just going to respond to this with the same repeated thing over and over again.

But luckily for you, said career is actually a kindergarten teacher, so I like working with sad and upset children.

Because honestly? I think that’s what this is all about. I think you are sad and mad and upset about how Serena’s character was wrapped up on the anime, and I think you have every right to feel that way.

I’m not a Serena fan, myself, but I have no ill feelings towards those who are. Love what you love, I say! I actually couldn’t get into the BW or XY anime, just not my thing, but I did start rewatching again at Sun Moon, and I can absolutely see why a Serena fan would be frustrated at how they ended things for her. Literally all the other traveling companions (save for May and Max, for obvious reasons with May’s Japanese VA) had a more significant wrap up with Ash than she did in the last season.

Misty and Brock both got the whole Aim to be a Pokemon Master thing, Dawn came back to watch Ash complete during the World Coronation and cheer him on, Iris was IN the World Coronation thing as a gd champion!!

Serena got an episode, and she didn’t even interact with Ash in it hardly at all. She spent the whole time with Chloe, and only saw him in passing when he walked past her to get on the boat at the very end. There was no blushing, no love confessions, neither the kiss nor Sarena were eeever talked about again. She got a non speaking cameo watching him against Leon along with the others and that was it. I have my own opinions as to why the writers did that, but that is neither here nor there, that’ll be a post on it’s own.

But that’s frustrating! I totally get that! She was the only traveling companion to kiss Ash, surely that means something and she’ll be brought back or brought up and she and Ash will be together forever!

But nope, pokemon isn’t that kind of anime. It and Ash’s journey ended with just him and Pikachu running off into the sunset, with Gary, if we’re being honest, as probably the most significant human to him in the end (as it should be, my old ass genwonner heart LOVES how Gary was there at the end living in Ash’s head rent free lol).

So I do get why you are upset and lashing out. I think it’s dumb and immature and annoying, but I get it.

My parting wish for you is hope that you’ll realize that literally no Ash ship is canon; his time in the anime is done and he ended up with no one, and that is simply okay because it’s pokemon and romance in that show has literally never been the point. I hope you keep on loving your favorite characters and ships and that you let everyone else enjoy their’s.

Buuuut let’s be honest, I know that you are just going to ignore everything I wrote and keep doing this same shit, but it was worth a shot, right? :P

I hope you have the day you deserve. <3

[penny-the-pissed-poltergeist]

Jaunedice arc rewatch time time, Let's get this over with

.One of the worst parts about early Jaune is that he's too incompetent to any cool choreography in his fights

.They real did just give the characters video game health bars

.Oh no! Jaune lost to the guy who can casually bully people multiple school years above him, how surprising

.Ren, how the fuck would you know Nora's dream better than her... that makes no sense

.Really hope Ruby had something before or alongside cookies for lunch, that ain't good for you girl

.Velvet really needs to grow a fucking spine but that doesn't make everyone going "Oh he's so bad, it must be so hard for her" while doing nothing any less bad

... Why is Menagerie called that

.I think it would have been neat to make Oobleck a Faunus because his intro is him talking about Faunus lore and it would make him going asking Faunus in his class to publicly talk about their probably traumatic and sensitive experiences with discrimination a lot less invasive (It'd also be nice to a Faunus in power who isn't a traitor)

.The Faunus won the war but nobody ever fuckin acts like they did

.God I love Oobleck

.if Jaune told canon Pyrrha to kill someone, do you think she'd do it. She's 100% down to break Cardins legs

.Why is a Jaune quip the one suicide related thing in this series that actually lands for me?

.Did Cardin know they would be there or does he just like letting the wind in?

.You think a combat school would have good enough background checks to stop some guy from sneaking in but Jaune must have the best counterfeiting skills on remnant. even then you'd think his parents would at least be suspicious sense he had no proper combat training

."I can't do this on my own, what good am I?" You are already training as a part of school dude, stop being a stubborn loser

now on to Forever Fall....

.Ruby dropping the advice that destroys herself later (It's not always bad advice but god it became so toxic to herself)

.Cardin asking for some fucking bees, but not those bees

.Forever fall looking a bit cooler in the Black trailer but I still really like it here

."Professor Peach" Is expanded on in the books apparently but I'm point that out because there's a weapon's teacher called Herold Mulberry who's also only from the books so Ruby herself can't interact with him goddamn it.

.I will give Jaune one thing, He can SOMETIMES be funny, sometimes.

.Cardin's teammates haven't had a single line yet because they an 8th of a personalty each

.How is Nora slurping the sap that fast?

.Cardin calling Jaune "Jonny boy" gives me Maximilian Pegasus vibes

.How did Jaune's aura do that, we don't see Aura or the Aura amp do anything like that again

.Just send two more people away instead of letting them help you fight a giant ass bear because Yang and Blake totally can't deal with some grimm on their own

.Jaune has weirdly low endurance for the amount of aura he supposedly has

.People already say Jaune is "the real main character" but the problem of everyone but team RWBY feeling like the protag is something that crops up with both him and lots of other characters throughout the series.

.Remember kids if you want someone to stop bullying you, just save them from the fucking B E A R

.If someone is just watching the show without outside material, this is the first time anyone says the word semblance, no how short the episodes are doesn't negate how stupid this. Imagine if the first time hear the word mutation in an X-Man show was 8 episodes in, this is just brain meltingly dumb

.Pyrrha, all keeping that from Jaune is going to do is make him over estimate himself

.Oh yeah Jaune will never be a jerk again after this, he definitely learned his lesson. /S

[dangermousie]

This is my favorite sequence in ep 4 even on rewatch because it shows what kind of monster Undaddy is, and how whatever he may have been, he's become as big on ends justify the means as the people he wants vengeance on.

This episode really brings to bear that even though he can manipulate him, Undaddy cannot really control Yoon Sung, which is a very good thing as Undaddy is a full-blown psycho, with little compunction in offing families and innocent bystanders to get to his target - I mean at the end he shoots at Nana because as a bodyguard she's in the way of the target he wants to kill. YS, otoh, has a remarkably sane view that he does not want to kill anyone as part of revenge because once this is over, he wants to live a normal life and if he starts killing, the cycle of vengeance will just go on forever as families of the targets will come after him.

I don't know where he learned sanity, it clearly wasn't from Undaddy.

This scene also foreshadows the conflict between YS and Undaddy as Undaddy views YS as disposable - look how quickly he found a willing flunkie when YS won't dance to his tune. And look how he had no problem ramming YS' car when he got in the way - for YS that scene was much more about testing whether Undaddy cares for him at all, than about seeing his way of justice/saving prisoner dude and it showed him that well - I guess Undaddy hit the car sideways instead of head on so there is a tiny sliver of humanity that may make him pause if he can achieve his goal without offing YS but short of that...yikes.

Also, I really love YS x Nana, both back then when I watched it and now.

The fact that whenever he feels low he always wants her there, with an almost childlike fixation…Just everything. And then of course her scolding him and saying he must be the way he is because of being spoiled rotten by his parents and asking if he talks to his mother as rudely as he does to her, and him snapping that he has no mother, so he has no idea how to talk (he really can't control emotionally opening up around her, can he?) and the lovely, silently comforting scene that follows - she isn't one of those angelic heroines from 1990s kdramas, but she is so sane and kind, and very much what he craves. I love, how during the scene on the overpass, he keeps sneaking looks at her all the time, hastily averting his eyes every time she looks back. Those two are just beyond amazing.

Of course, this all gets spectacularly screwed up - her house is getting foreclosed and he wants to cheer her up (or just to see her because she's in distress and he can't leave her alone) but of course he has no idea how to express himself and it all snowballs and she basically tells him he's a bastard and she never wants to interact with him again and just - I guess telling her "I was brought up by a psycho in the jungle and have no idea how to interact emotionally" might fix things, but also blow his cover. Ohhhh, the insane angsty chemistry!

[blazeperalta]

in my josh and toby feelings today

anyone else have this weird soft spot for their relationship? I absolutely love all the dynamics on the show and although there are far greater (and by that i just mean “easier”) platonic friendships to enjoy while watching, those 2 make me ache more than any other.

I remember richard talking about his relationship with bradley on twww and how they’ve known each other so long so they’ve had their fair share of arguments/disagreements, and he said something like “I love him like a brother and i hate him like a brother” and it’s stuck with me because it describes josh and toby perfectly. And idk if it was meant to parallel their off-screen relationship (although i sincerely hope brad and richard’s relationship isn’t quite as antagonistic because i love this cast and want them to be friends forever lol), but I think about that quote every time i see toby and josh interact. They’re brothers who reluctantly love each other.

All this to say, it’s been over 4 years since i watched the west wing for the first time and i still haven’t been able to bring myself to rewatch drought conditions. The words they say to each other just wreck me and i genuinely tear up every time i think about it, and when I talk to someone else about it, I actually start to cry. I was furloughed, because covid, and was staying with my mum, and I just remember walking downstairs weeping telling her they had a huge fight. Again, i don’t really know why it made such an impact because it’s not like they were best friends and now they could barely even look at each other (i had plenty of that pain from josh and donna thank you!) there was always issues with them, but it was so difficult watching them be so cruel to each other, but *knowing* it comes from a place of hurt and there’s still so much love there.

[youhideastar]

WujiWatch: CQL Rewatch Episode 3

On this rewatch, it finally clicked for me that the main reason Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to go back to get the invitation—and the reason Jiang Yanli is worried about him while he’s on his trip to go retrieve it—isn’t really because the invitation is in Caiyi, which is a long way away… it’s because the invitation is specifically in the inn that Jin Zixuan has taken over. Meaning that, after intentionally antagonizing Jin Zixuan over and over again that morning/afternoon, Wei Wuxian is going to have to go back there and eat crow to get Jin Zixuan to give him the invitation back.

Jiang Yanli—who knows Jin Zixuan best, out of the three of them—tells Jiang Cheng that night that she’s not worried about Wei Wuxian’s safety, or worried that he’ll get lost or whatever, but instead worried that Jin Zixuan will humiliate Wei Wuxian when he returns to ask for the invitation. She expressly says that! Worse, she says that she’s afraid Jin Zixuan won’t be able to stop himself from humiliating Wei Wuxian because that’s just Jin Zixuan’s “character.”

And this—I cannot emphasize this strongly enough—IS THE GUY SHE LIKES!!!!! I am so sad for her!!!!!!!

Anyway, given all this, I think it’s super interesting that the show doesn’t actually give us that interaction. Whatever Jin Zixuan says to Wei Wuxian—if anything—when Wei Wuxian has to beg for the invitation, we don’t hear it. Thus, any range of outcomes, from “Wei Wuxian gets Mianmian to retrieve the invitation and doesn’t actually have to interact with Jin Zixuan at all” to “Jin Zixuan is just as nasty to Wei Wuxian as Jiang Yanli fears he will be and that’s why Wei Wuxian hates him basically forever” is left open.

[velvet-vox]

WD N/V to MD N/V is like Nori/Yeva to Doll/Uzi.

Ahi. This is gonna hurt a lot.

So, let's start by saying that you are right.

Now, I don't think the comparison is as direct and precise as other comparisons like, N X Uzi and V x Doll. Plus, I'm not 100% sure Liam intended for us to make this comparison in the first place; don't get me wrong, the guy has great attention for details, but some of his writing decisions regarding the characters that are not Uzi, N, or Cyn, leaves me to question whether he thought this deeply about these possible connections between characters and their relationships.

The main problem with episode 5 is that Liam decided to focus on Uzi and N when the episode would have greatly benefitted from having N and V as our P.O.V. characters. I get that he didn't want Tessa as the main character because he was just going to reveal her dead a few episodes later, and still needed to do some extra work on Nuzi to make Uzi's sacrifice hit harder, but that's why we needed more time and episodes (please stop with the 8 episodes season format I hate it) to build up to this season finale; regardless of budget, he should have known that the plot should be in service of the characters and not viceversa.

But back to your question: to answer it, I'll better start talking about my personal relationship with N x V. You see, the first time I watched Murder Drones, right after the pilot, I've written off N's crush for V from the story, especially since I didn't like the way N info dumped us on his affection.

A couple of episodes of Murder Drones had already been released at that point, so I just assumed after the Pilot, the whole thing was retcon since N didn't really bring up his crush after that episode and V didn't seem to have feelings for N aside from a desire to protect him. (Of course, that's only at first glance; I said it once and I'll say it again, to do an analysis on one of the Murder Drones characters you need to be specialised on that character).

Naturally, as I rewatched the episodes and interacted more with the community, I gained a better understanding of Envy as platonic and romantic.

Onto your point; the thing is that fundamentally Worker Drone N and Worker Drone V are the same character as Disassembly Drone N and Disassembly Drone V, while Nori and Yeva are completely different characters from Uzi and Doll; so in the first case, we're talking about a relationship between two characters that changed over time and trauma, while in the second case, it's a relationship between two characters that we don't know enough about and their children.

And this is the main problem discussing Nori x Yeva: we do not know enough about them. Like, on the surface, from the way Yeva extended her hand to Nori in the flashbacks of episode 7, we can draw parallels between that and butler N reading maiden V facts about golden retrievers; then we can assume Nori and Yeva had a fallout similar to N and V, which is so far the only way we can explain Yeva never trying to forge a relationship between Uzi and Doll (which, if we're being honest, would have saved the both of them and the show. I guess, much like her daughter, Yeva couldn't girlboss forever), but after that, the rest of their story is still murky; I honestly think there's gonna be a plot twist regarding Yeva, because, otherwise, I cannot see the reason why we've got that backstory in episode 7; I guess Nori just wanted to let N (and the audience) know how things went down, but there had to be a quicker/better way to do that, Liam rarely puts in a scene that he deems unnecessary.

Lastly, Uzi and Doll didn't get the chance to recover that they should have had, but if they did, I can only imagine that their dynamic would have been much healthier than the current N x V dynamic. As I stated in my V and Doll; trauma, mental disorder and low empathy post, Doll actually tried to connect with people throughout the events of the series in her sociopathic not neurotypical kind of way, it's just that she was extremely cloudy in her decision making; so, if Uzi and Doll got a chance to connect in one of events of the show, they would have rekindled their nonexistent spark much quicker than V and N, since, out of the two, I unironically think that Uzi is the one with the bigger walls surrounding her.

I have an on/off relationship with Doll's death and her possible resurrection. At times, I really believe that this is the ending for her; but if she were to survive in any way, for sure she would get that dreaded redemption arc and go to Uzi's side, the trauma from Cyn Tessa should have been enough for her to decide to join the main gang without any second thoughts.

Want more?

[halfagone]

Oooh, I could FEEL the angst. This next prompt’s a little more lighthearted after the angst of the last one. So Danny once again beat Dan in an awe inspiring fight that was aired internationally, fully introducing the world to Phantom (he still has his identity though). Ladybug somehow convinced him to let Alya interview him, and during the interview Danny or one of the Paris duo accidentally admit that that Danny’s basically a god. I just think it would be funny to see what Alya’s reaction to that would be (bonus points if Danny’s been through his growth spurt by this point and therefore looks super tall and buff, since I’m kinda sick of string bean Danny at this point, lol). What do you think?

I definitely think Danny would be built more like a swimmer, so he's more lithe and can dodge easier, but I don't think he'd be noodle-armed forever. Although he may have a form of gravity nullification, Danny doesn't use it for anything, so he definitely has super-strength. And there's a reason even heroes like Superman, despite having super strength, does need to keep up that muscle mass. But enough about that, let's get to business!

---

Alya just about dropped her pen and paper. She would be reviewing the footage later of course, since Phantom had told her that the image might be a little scratchy due to his ghostly status. But at the very least the audio had been untouched and that- that was a good thing. Alya was gonna have to rewatch this interview so many times just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating this interaction.

"Wait, wait, wait-" Alya cut Phantom off before he could awkwardly continue. He wasn't fond of public relations, as far as Alya could tell. Although he was very beloved in Paris. Then again, she'd been hearing some nasty stuff from the States. But hey, if they didn't want him, she and Paris would gladly, proudly even, keep him for themselves.

"Are you telling me you're the equivalent of a god?" Alya emphasized with shock, leaning forward, still just out of camera view, to stare at him insistently.

Phantom cringed away. "That seems like a bit of a... jump to make," Phantom chuckled awkwardly. It was so weird to see him like this. Phantom had grown somehow these past few months (Alya had a theory that since he'd been helping out Ladybug and Chat Noir, it changed his perception of himself and thus he aged himself up to be the mentor figure they needed) and he absolutely towered over Alya, and quite frankly both the Paris heroes, these days. And yet he stayed so humble, never trying to brag even when he spoke of his impossible deeds.

"But it would be accurate, would it not?" Alya prompted carefully. She didn't want to spook (hah, Chat Noir would be proud of her for that one), the poor specter.

Phantom glances at the camera. "Can I skip this question?" That had been one of Phantom's compromises. He'd agree to the interview, only if he could pass on any questions he deemed uncomfortable, violating his personal privacy, or a security risk. Alya had the feeling this time, it was the first option.

"If you say so," she agreed easily enough. "Now! How would you describe Paris' very own heroes, in your own words?"

[dearweirdme]

(warning, this got way longer than anticipated sorry)

ik this is probably a dead topic to you and i apologize for bringing it up again but i was just rewatching the leaked jk videos of him in his apartment with that girl bc i saw some discourse abt it in another tkk blog’s comments. some jk stan who’s convinced he’s straight, that he was sleeping arnd/had a girlfriend, and that we’re all delusional came in the comments and basically started stirring shit lol. they mentioned they believed he was dating that tattoo artist girl who he was photographed w his arms arnd as well. but i thought she had a bf at the time of that pic being released? idk fs tho and that pic def gave off close friend vibes to me?

anyways, seeing the discourse made me go back and watch the video again and the more i watch it the more conflicted i get. like he is rlly all over her. arms wrapped all around her and walking holding her from behind like that. ofc it’s POSSIBLE that they’re just friends especially if he is gay/queer (ik that kind of physical affection is more typically acceptable between queer men and straight women than when both parties are straight). but to me for some reason it seems improbable and like that’s just an excuse to keep myself believing in tkk ? like really…we’re convincing ourselves him and the girl he had at his apartment at night alone w him are just friends when almost everyone and their mother would see that as clearly romantic and crossing platonic boundaries ? he’s THAT close, comfortable, and affectionate w a girl he’s just friends with ?

lol subconsciously i feel like im probably submitting this to ur account hoping ur response will give me reassurance that the interaction was not romantic even when it’s likely that it was. to me the video is clearly real and it is actually jungkook so that’s not at all the part that im debating about, but just the nature of the interaction ig ? like how long am i going to convince myself he’s queer and w taehyung when theres a lot that implies otherwise…

but then i think back on the reasons why i believe in tkk and that makes me even more confused lol. bc if i tell myself to just accept that jk is straight/not romantically involved w taehyung then idk how to make sense of many of tkk’s interactions either. like the kappa sweethearts tshirt is the one that rlly gets me for some reason. bc there’s no shot it was a coincidence they were wearing such a specific niche tshirt on the same day at the same time too. and why would friends wear matching literal “sweethearts” tshirts? they wouldn’t right? ik other ppl value the dream premiere and other moments more but those tshirts are so unarguable that it’s something i always circle back to. like to me saying their clothes at the dream premiere were intentionally queer coded is not something that is necessarily factually true. it’s more so an assumption after extensively digging into the background of their clothes which they may or may not have even noticed/intended. that to me could be argued as a coincidence but the kappa shirts are 100% the same specific tshirt and it was 100% the same day. that being a coincidence is less likely to me.

the other thing is the way they keep their friendship/relationship so much more under wraps than the others. but maybe that’s something we’ve just convinced ourselves of when maybe they haven’t rlly been that private/secretive abt it? idk i just go round and round in circles. i’ll come to a point where i feel SO sure that tkk are romantically together (especially with how explicit tae is w his support of the queer community) but then i’ll see some shit like that video of jk in his apartment w a girl and the whole thing gets derailed.

sorry i’ve just talked in circles atp and i could probably go back and forth w more examples for forever but yeah idk just wanted to hear your thoughts bc idk how you’re able to stay so secure in believing they are together. and i don’t think u seem like the type to just continuously convince urself of something that is delusional through confirmation bias and disregard of opposing evidence.

Hi anon!

Yeah, you probably ar submitting this because you want me to reassure you 😊 and that’s totally fine honestly. I mean, we are invested in Tae and Jk and stuff can really become complicated and confusing at times. Being confused is never a great feeling and you just want to not feel confused.

I need things to be realistic myself as well. I don’t need Jk and Tae to be together, I basically just think they are. I’m not afraid to step away from them if I feel they’re no longer together (or.. if they never were). And I will definitely let everyone know if/when I ever feel like something is off (and right after that I will hide because Jkkrs and anti’s will come for my head 😂).

To me it is all about the things I know for sure. Like Tae wearing that t-shirt for instance.. on the same day as Jk when he shot that mv. To me that is something strong and real talking in favor of them being together. Same goes for other situations: Tae and Jk at that hotel after/before Dubai, Jk singing that song to Tae, BH acting weird about them (and them alone), the way Tae constantly mentions Jk… and I could go on for a while probably. Those are actual things we have witnessed.. things that are real and when you look at the whole of it.. things that are consistent and that we have witnessed for a prolonged duration of time.

When I look at the footage of supposedly Jk with that girl, I see a person backhugging a girl for a real short amount of time. I have no context, I have no clue about there being more people or not. I can also clearly see that the footage is manipulated. I know it was released at a shady timing, with the purpose of harming him. I know that there’s an actual platform where people who hate him gather and plan stuff like this.

So when I put what I know is true about Jk and Tae next to what I know of that footage… the scale just tips over. I do not trust shady footage more than I trust what I know of Jk and Tae. And I might be wrong.. absolutely. But I just don’t think I am.

If I had no knowledge about Tae and Jk before seeing that footage.. maybe I wouldn’t have secondguessed it as well. But, I do have that other knowledge and therefore if I see something that goes against that.. I look at what’s fed to me more critically.

I don’t know if this has settled your mind anon. Personally I always feel fine with not having all the answers, but I can also understand that can be real unsettling. Maybe try and land in the ‘I don’t know for now’ zone for a bit?