#i just wanted to isolate the bit that WAS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN

[one-winged-dreams]

Okay, never fucking mind, I have brain worms and I need to get them OUT, so I'm gonna risk passing out in my chair and eating shit for the sake of this awful fucking man

Initially, this was just supposed to be the dragon version of the Prestor and swan!insert ship. Doe-eyed idiot falls hook line and sinker for a handsome powerful man and he just is like 'okay cool whatever' and has a lot of fun just playing around with him in his weird 'i love you but i don't' way.

AND IT SORT OF STARTED THAT WAY???

PART ONE of the Nel and Dia ship progression.

(cut for length)

Step 1 ) Nel notices one of Alexstrasza's personal tenders is always stumbling over himself whenever he's around, he's wondering where he's seen him before but doesn't really think too hard about it.

Step 2 ) At some point Alex addresses Dia in front of Nel. He vaguely remembers the name from Dia's visage day when Alex asked him about his gender presentation because dragons respect trans rights in this house. He was just like "Oh, I don't know, I just let it happen. Does it look okay?" and everyone has a heart attack from how cute he is. Nel not entirely an exception but in a passing sort of 'that's interesting i guess' sort of way.

Step 3 ) Nel is progressively taking note of Dia whenever he's around because it's BRUTALLY clear that Dia is head over heels for him. Which, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time one of the regular drakes crushed on an Aspect, but he's cute and it's kind of fun to fuck with him. Because he's Nel and he's awful.

Step 4 ) At some point Dia gets sent on an errand to the Obsidian Citadel and Nel can't NOT eat the poor boy alive. The black dragons are just GLEEFULLY watching their Aspect tear this young Ruby's composure apart. Because Nel has always been described as super charming in the lore, old-god-crazy notwithstanding. And Nel, being such a CONSIDERATE and NOBLE Earth Warder, insists that Dia stay while the errand is completed. Wouldn't make sense for him to go back to the Life Shrine and then have to make the trip both ways AGAIN, right?

Step 5 ) Dia's soul leaves his body.

Step 6 ) Nel is absolutely bored out of his mind at any given moment so might as well get to know his little admirer. And the more they talk the more the cute aggression starts to build up and Nel's like "Oh I can't NOT fuck him." So he decides he's gonna shoot his shot but SLOW BURN IT.

Step 7 ) Suddenly Dia is making a lot of requests to volunteer whenever anyone needs anything from the Citadel. Alex doesn't really mind all that much but she IS squinting at Nel from across the Waking Shores.

Step 8 ) The progression of intimacy is SO long and convoluted, with one of the stages being Nel inviting Dia to sleep in his visage bed while Nel is away, he doesn't mind, he has things to attend to anyway and Dia is SO sweet and helpful, it's the LEAST he could do.

Step 9 ) Dia does VERY little sleeping that night. Nel knows this because the smell is EXTREMELY evident when he comes back. Experiment success?

Step 10 ) Little near misses of intimacy turn to intimate BONDING, turn into finally [EXPLITIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPL-]

Nel is very pleased with himself, especially now that he's got a new toy that's ripe for playing with.

BUT WAIT- THERE'S MORE!

(continued in the next post)

[blueepink07]

Since we will get Kotoko's album in one day, which includes her VD from which most probably we will find more information about her motivations and her plans in Milgram, I decided to look a bit into her attacks during prison and how I imagine things happened! (I'm fully aware that I will most probably be proved wrong when the album drops, but I'm really curious if I can actually figure out most of what happened!)

Starting off, Jackalope informs us that the order in which Kotoko attacked is: Mikoto, Mahiru, Fuuta.

Which makes sense, considering that she attacked, in order, who is closer to her cell.

(Also fun fact! The prisoners are distorted according to how many injuries they have!)

What I want to answer, however, is how she managed to attack two people without being stopped.

Mikoto vs Kotoko

From Mikoto's VD, we find out that Kotoko has attacked, while John was distracted, giving herself a slight advantage.

"Es: Like you didn’t get beaten by Kotoko…! John: Hah. That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep, and it’s not like I lost there."

Considering that they fought some time and where evenly matched, there must have been a lot of noise, which should have alerted the others. In this attack, Kotoko didn't care much about how much attention she would attract. Why? Because the prisoners were already used with John's restlessness and they wouldn't dare to go near him. Hearing those noises didn't alert them much, because they maybe were too scared and didn't want to approach or thought it was just the usual.

As seen in many timeline posts, Mikoto is avoided. The only one who wished him Happy birthday was Haruka, whom we know that is currently isolating himself and didn't wish Mikoto a happy birthday this year too...

"Mikoto: The others told me about it. How I got into a fistfight with Koto-chan and whatnot. "Es: Seems like it, yeah. Mikoto: I wonder if it’s like… some kind of sleepwalking…? After all, I’ve been losing sleep more and more often recently… Man… It’s really troublesome, isn’t it? Es: Mikoto… Mikoto: The others are all scared of me. I can tell by looking at the way they act. Because I read the room."

Mahiru and Kotoko

From Shidou's VD, it is given the information that Mahiru suffered head injuries, more exactly head lacerations.

"Shidou: Shiina-kun’s is even worse. Head lacerations. Bruising all over her body. Left anterior compression fracture. A sprained neck. Fractured ribs. Further fracturing to the left arm. And furthermore… this may be outside of my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well."

These injuries are the aftermath of being hit by Kotoko.

Mahiru says some interesting things in her VD:

"Mahiru: … Ah, but this is… I think Kotoko-chan is the one who did it, so… you know? It’s not like it’s your fault. Um, so…! I’m not holding a grudge towards Kotoko-chan either. I’m sure she just thought it couldn’t be helped…"

This "I think" was always interesting to me. It implies that she is uncertain of the events that happened, like she wasn't there... Like she just a heard rumour from someone else...

However, she also tells this:

"Mahiru: … Ah– I– I—I’m sorry…! If– If you touch me so suddenly, it makes me remember… how it hurt… and I get scared…"

She remembers the pain, but not the person who hurt her. Keeping in mind that she also suffered from head trauma, I have thought that Mahiru must have lost consciousness, shortly after being hit, but not fully.

There are actually some levels of impaired consciousness, that can explain my assumption!

Confusion

Confusion is marked by the absence of clear thinking and may result in poor decision-making.

Disorientation

Disorientation is the inability to understand how you relate to people, places, objects, and time. The first stage of disorientation is usually around awareness of your current surroundings

Loss of short-term memory follows disorientation with respect to place.

Delirium

If you’re delirious, your thoughts are confused and illogical. People who are delirious are often disoriented. Their emotional responses range from fear to anger. People who are delirious are often highly agitated as well.

Lethargy

Lethargy is a state of decreased consciousness that resembles drowsiness. If you’re lethargic, you may not respond to stimulants such as the sound of an alarm clock or the presence of fire.

Stupor

"Stupor is a deeper level of impaired consciousness in which it’s very difficult for you to respond to any stimuli, except for pain."

Coma

Coma is the deepest level of impaired consciousness. If you’re in a coma, you can’t respond to any stimulus, not even pain.

From all of these, stupor seems to be what Mahiru experienced after being hit.

Stupor -> caused by head injuries, such as��concussion or bleeding in or around the brain

"Stupor is characterised by impaired reaction to external stimuli. Those in a stuporous state are rigid, mute and only appear to be conscious, as the eyes are open and follow surrounding objects. If not stimulated externally, a patient with stupor will appear to be in a sleepy state most of the time."

If Kotoko hit Mahiru and caused her to have a stupor, Mahiru wouldn't even have the chance to yell or cry for help. She couldn't respond to any stimulus (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch), the only thing that she could feel was the pain.

It would make sense, in this case, for the other prisoners to be unaware of what was happening to Mahiru. Kotoko most probably made a surprise attack (as in John's situation), left Mahiru is a state of stupor and did further damage to her body.

"Kazui: I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her."

Fuuta and Kotoko

Fuuta seems to have been fully conscious when he was being beaten up by Kotoko. He remembers every detail, unfortunately to him: the way he had been stepped on with the safety boot-like shoes, the beatings which made him think that he'll die. He even remembers Kotoko's motivations and beliefs! It's pretty likely that he was still conscious when Kazui protected him.

"Fuuta: Hey. Look at me. My right eye. It looks awful, doesn’t it? This is what happens when you get stepped on with those safety boot-like shoes. – Don’t recoil like that, that’s hurtful. According to Shidou, it’s likely that I won’t ever be able to see [with this eye] again. Sucks, huh."

"Fuuta: It hurt… It hurt so bad, I thought I was going to die. I was scared!"

"Fuuta: I mean, you forgave Kotoko, right? You affirmed her, right? Her belief that “it’s fine to do whatever to people who have done something wrong”. Es: How do you know about that…? Fuuta: She told me while she was beating me up. How she thinks it’s okay for her to do anything she wants to people who have done wrong, no matter the severity of their crime. And she left the judgment of that up to you."

What are your thoughts about Kotoko's attacks?

If Fuuta was conscious the whole time, his cries of pain or help surely must have been what alerted the other prisoners, who stopped Kotoko from doing further damage...

And so this is me trying to explain why the other prisoners noticed too late Kotoko's attacks!

I'm prepared to be proved wrong, but it was fun to write anyway!

[littlemisssquiggles]

Did you see the RWBY volume 9 epilogue?

I'm happy there was more to it than what we got from last year and that we actually got to see characters like Nora Oscar and Ren featured as important characters

I'm especially Happy Oscar actually got to be in it because to be honest he gets excluded so much I was actually shocked he had a part and we actually got to focus on him for once

This also gives me hope that they'll do something similar like they did with cinder ,with Oscar because I believe it was possibly said in a q&a or in a live stream

that originally they wanted to do cinders backstory and volume 4-5 when we thought she got killed off again but they kept having to push it back along with other things they wanted to do for certain characters

and since many think Oscar is possibly not going to make it through his merge and it will be just ozpin/Oz

when it's done maybe we'll actually get to see his past and maybe because Oscar is merging with Ozpin that means his memories are catching up with Oz's memories and will maybe get to see Oz's past too because that's something we've all wondered about as well

and maybe we'll get a hint at where the final relic is because I don't believe the writers are just going to wait tell the last minute to show us were it is I think they're going to hint at it

I don't Oscar part sense he my favorite along side ozpin

what do you think 🤔

Hiya Autumn o/ Thank you so much for your inbox and pardon the late reply.

To answer your first question, yes, I did see the full V9 Epilogue Animatic. TWICE and I plan on rewatching it many, many times because I haven’t recovered from it yet.

I know I’ve been relatively silent these days especially when it comes to this newly dropped animatic. But that’s mostly because I haven’t fully gathered my thoughts on it yet to form a consisive essay.

My head is still reeling from all that was revealed in that short space of animatic frames, particularly the bits about Oscar and what he’s currently going through. As a Pinehead, you just know that part got to me the most because BOI! WAS IT GOOD! Oscar-worthy, as I might say,

So if I may, and if you don’t mind m’fam, I am going to piggyback off of your inboxed message and use this as opportunity to get some of my main thoughts about Oscar’s side of the Epilogue off of my chest. So here I go.

According to the RWBY V9 full Epilogue Animatic…

Oscar’s story with the Merge with Oz has officially started with him isolating himself from his friends while he goes through it on his own, practically dooming him (and essentially Oz as well) to suffer in silence.

But while that’s how things seem to be starting, if it doesn’t end with a scene where Oscar is going through the Merge but this time he’s surrounded by all of his friends all vowing to stay by side through it all and cherish him for who he is---Oscar---no matter who he becomes after the Merge.

If it doesn’t end with all of Oscar’s friends being there for him during the Merge (ESPECIALLY Ruby) then, like Jon Snow , I don't want it.

I don’t know how Oscar’s story will end.

The way I perceive it, Oscar’s story can end in many possible different ways.

In one way, Oscar’s story could end the way it was originally intended to, according to the natural progression of the narrative.---with Salem being defeated, Ozma finally moving on and Oscar being allowed to live the rest of his days as himself, Merge completely avoided.

Or like a Shamalan movie, it can end with a twist. Maybe Oscar isn’t so lucky and doesn’t avoid the Merge like his predecessors and is changed forever.

Maybe Oscar gets attack by Tyrian and “dies” forcing the Merge to happen as a way to save his life.

Maybe Oscar is taken to the Tree and gets to meet the Blacksmith who decides his final fate in the Merge.

Or who knows? Maybe the CRWBY Writers saw the recent 60th anniversary Doctor Who special and have the brilliance to put a new spin on the whole Ozma cycle where instead of Oscar merging with Oz, the two split apart with either wizards retaining their memories and single identities.

Instead of Oscar of losing himself to the Merge, he is set free leaving Ozma to carry on his mission to the Gods as himself. So no more pairing him up with like-minded souls. Like Oscar, Ozma is now his own person with his own agency. So even if he died again, similar to Salem, Ozma was still immortal only now he would simply come back in his original body as opposed to the former latter of playing hot potato with his soul inhabiting another poor innocent man or young boy’s body. All this with the extra added bonus that now we have two great and powerful wizards for the price of one. Both Oscar and the newly reincarnated Ozma (who gets back his original form---the one that was married to Salem and equally as powerful as her) retained his combat-ready muscle memory and shared ability to use magic. So Ozma, naturally fights with his trademark Long Memory, while Oscar uses magic freehand without the need for the cane.

That last one’s a big stretch but like all of my past Pinehead headcanons that I’ve tossed aimlessly into the ether of the FNDM community, I’m keeping it on the table of possibilities since it’d make a sick Oscar the Sorceror’s Apprentice Pinehead headcanon AU. Definitely adding that one to the list.

---

Anyways, getting back on track. Through everything that Oscar has been put through in the story so far, the most I want from this whole Merge storyline is that he doesn’t have to go through it on his own and I don’t mean, he’s going through it with just Oz as his main company.

What I mean for that is, I don’t think the implications of what the Merge means has truly sunk in for the rest of the hero team. A part of me wishes to assume that part of the reason why the rest of the hero team seems so nonchalant about Oscar’s whole merge with Oz is because Oscar has never truly been honest with them about how he really feels about the merge.

The last time Oscar spoke about the Merge with the team was back in V6 when he basically did it in such a “no biggie; don’t worry about me” sort of way that it came off as if he just said it to sound brave in the moment for the sake of the team and for the sake of keeping his own emotions in check.

I say this because as we’ve seen from the events of V7 through V8, Oscar is very anxious about the Merge. He doesn’t want it to happen which is why he and Oz are now fighting to keep it from happening even though it’s already long begun.

Bottom-line, I don’t think Oscar has been completely honest with anyone else outside of Oz about how he truly feels concerning the Merge. And now that it’s happening, he’s basically resolved himself to go through it alone. I don’t even think anyone else in the current group; not Nora, not Emerald, not even Ren (who literally has the ability to read someone’s thoughts and feelings through their emotions) knows about what he’s going through.

I wonder if Oscar puts on a brave face whenever he’s with the others and anytime he feels another “Merger episode” coming along, he quickly excuses himself (probably claiming that he needs to get back to his research in the Archives of Solitude) so the others don’t have to see him going through it.

Ren, in particular, because I’m sure if Ren saw Oscar’s pain from the Merge, he would blurt it out. Ren has now become the unsung singing canary of the hero team after his whole semblance upgrade.

Just like how he blurted out that Ozpin was back during the tunnel walk back in V8 following the rescue mission and escape from Monstro, Ren would definitely reveal that Oscar is going through the Merge if he knew he was going through it and having a painful grand ole time too.

Ren’s inability to remain discrete when revealing another’s true emotions could probably explain why Oscar has been avoiding alone time with him.

If you look at it, Ren is on his own probably stretching himself between helping everyone. It’s also interesting to me that Oscar hasn’t asked anyone else to help look for stuff in the Shade Archives.

Even if Oscar is technically two people in one, that is still a big ass library of books and archives to sift through for even two people. And yet, as we saw from the epilogue, Oscar is ALONE most of the time and I highly doubt no one else offered to help him in the libraries.

I know the Atlesian refugees are a priority but, when you look closely, everyone else is basically sharing the work; helping each other out with something. Nora is supporting folks like SSSN and CVFY.

Same for Ren. Em as well (even though she’s mostly mentioned in notes in the scene in the animatic).

 But when you look to Oscar. He is ALL BY HIMSELF.

Yes, he has Oz with him. But, that doesn’t count. Why hasn’t anyone else volunteered to help Oscar in the archives?

My assumption is because Oscar probably convinced the others to leave the archives to him (and Oz) and prioritize the refugees as a way of ensuring that he’s by himself at all times so no one would have to glimpse his pain from the Merge.

Again, each time a merger episode was highlighted in the epilogue animatic, Oscar was by himself. So my money is that no one knows what Oscar’s really going through.

No one else knows of his mental struggle or pain.

And why I find this interesting is because it kind of parallels Ruby’s whole detachment period from the others in the Ever After before she went to the Tree and what happened at the Mad Tea Party.

Not saying Oscar will share a similar experience as Ruby. I’m just saying, he’s clearly removed himself from the others and acting alone.

As Ren pointed out, he’s not himself. He’s there but…not there at the same time.

This brings me back to my point. Personally, I do want Oscar pulling himself from the team to hide the fact that he’s going through the Merge to be proven canon.

And I want it to be canon so that the first person to pick up that something is clearly off about Oscar’s behaviour to be Ruby.

Maybe Ruby realizes that Oscar is acting weird and when she brings it up, Ren is probably definitely the first person to reveal that he’s been sensing something off for a while but after everything that’s happened, similar to how he’s currently giving Nora space to work things out on her own, Ren has been doing the same with Oscar.

He’s been giving the little prince space when if anyone were to look closely at Ren’s expressions, they could probably see his frustration in being the one to know fully well that his friends aren’t entirely ok and despite wanting to help, he still feels helpless because Ren can’t force his friends to accept his help; no matter how much he offers, y’know what I mean?

I feel like some of RWBYJ’s struggles in the After Ever and how they rose to triumph over them could be mirrored in what NOR is going through now back in Vacuo.

Overall, the point I’m trying to make here is that I just want a moment where Oscar is having another merger episode and he tries to go through it alone, believing that he has to, only to get the reassurance and support he needs from his friends.

I saw someone compare Oscar’s merger episodes to Penny’s battle with Watts’ virus back in V8.

And while I didn’t enjoy the forced heavy focus on Penny during that season, I did sort of like how it culminated in everyone coming together to show their support of Penny and reminding her that she is a part of their team.

That is a type of a moment I want for Oscar. Because unlike Penny, feeling like a part of the team as himself and not just a placeholder for Oz is something Oscar desires.

I want Oscar to push his friends away, believing that he needed to go through this Merge on his own, only to be reminded by his friends in the end that they have his back no matter what.

That he is still a part of their team. That he is still Oscar to them no matter who he becomes in the Merge.

I want a scene where Oscar loses it, possibly even abusing his magic to force walls between himself and his friends only for those said friends to break down those walls and be there for him.

(Maybe even have a moment where Oscar loses control of his magic while trying to fight the Merge and it ends up looking like a moment where everyone thinks it's another Grimm attack when it's actually Oscar whose feelings of the merge have manifested into some kind of monstrous form that Oscar practically cocooned himself inside of).

Y’know that moment in Steven Universe Future where Steven loses control and all of his friends---all the major people he has helped throughout the seasons---come together to help him for once.

I want a moment where the whole team---Ruby, Nora, Ren, Jaune, Blake, Yang, Weiss and Emerald---all of Oscar’s people are there at his side showing him full support as he goes through the Merge; ensuring him that he doesn’t have to be scared of the Merge anymore because no matter who he becomes in the Merge, he will always be Oscar to them.

He’s not Ozpin. He’s not Ozma. He’s sure as hell ain’t Salem’s Ozma. He’s Oscar. Their Oscar

The small, cute farm boy from Mistral who showed up on their doorstep one random night in Mistral and has now cemented himself as one of the most important members of their little team that they will not stand to lose; not even to himself.

I want Oscar to be reminded by his friends that he will be cherished and supported no matter who he becomes in Merge.

Even if Oscar forgot his “old self” due to the Merge, they---his friends, will be there to remind him of who he was because they, as his friends, will never forgot Oscar because to them, he never left.

I just want a moment where everybody group hugs Oscar while he cries about SIX SEASONS worth of repressed tears after all the sh** he's been put through plot-wise. I want it dagnabbit!

Who knows? Maybe Oscar has another painful merger episode and it’s the worse one he’s had since it started and the love and support of his friends surrounding him is what helps to ease him out of it and back to his old farm boy Oscar self.

Just give me one scene like that. That’s all I want.

Don’t know if it will ever come to fruition given the current state of RT and the fate of RWBY as a whole. But hey, still wanted to get that off of my chest.

---

On the subject of the CRWBY Writers possibly showing more of Oscar's past in V10 as he's going through the Merge:

Honestly, at this point, m'fam, it's either now or never.

Now, as in during the events of V10, is the perfect time to give the audience more insight into Oscar's past and who he is. It is practically mandatory at this point that they show it as he is going into a storyline where he's being forced to lose that part of himself. They just have to do it!

Just as how V8 could pretty much be pretty much summed up as another Cinder-centric season similar to V4-V5, V10 could potentially be more Oscar-focused as he's going through the Merge. Like I said, it's the right time for them to do it.

And while I'm unsure of them telling Ozpin's story, maybe that too can be done and do something similar to what they did with Ren and Nora's backstory back in V4.

We got Ren and Nora's whole history in Kunoyuri in an episode that jumped back and forth between the past and the present.

Perhaps Oscar could have a potential episode in V10 where he's having another Merge episode and, as I theorized, he loses control of his magic while a) fighting the Merge again and b) running away/hiding from his friends so that they would've have to see him suffer through it.

So it's an episode that ping pongs between the present day where Oscar's friends are trying to get through to him while he's suffering through yet another painful Merger episode and the past which reveals more of Oscar's backstory leading up to the moment he met Oz and possibly showing other Oscar-centric moments that we, as the audience, never got to see like what happened with Oscar in Argus after his fall out with Jaune (remember we never got to see his side of things and it's something that still bothers me to this day)

Perhaps Ozpin's past is mixed in with it as well as you mentioned and the location of the final relic is actually revealed in Ozpin's memories in a flashback where he entrusted the location to someone. Maybe that person was Summer Rose. Since V9 revealed there is more to Summer Rose's story and that Raven actually knows more about that; perhaps Summer Rose's disappearance is connected to the final Relic or at least the final vault?

I dunno.

Overall, I definitely do like the idea of a potential episode of V10 fully dedicated to sharing bits of both Oscar's past as well as Ozpin's; specifically during his time as headmaster of Beacon when Team STRQ were still students since it could potentially reveal more on where Oz hid the location of the Vault of the Fall Maiden and the Relic of Choice. And if that episode is then followed up by an episode that shows the hero team---all of Oscar's friends actually helping him through an episode of the Merge then even better.

I think that would be pretty amazing. Hope that helps answer your questions m'fam. Let me know.

~ LMS (2024)

[indignantlemur]

Hello, hope you are doing well. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on shral you wanted to share?

Hey there! Sure, I can drum out a few bits of lore about Shral!

Shral spends a great deal of time being stoic and unreadable in his adult life, but he was a sensitive child. Rather than deal with his obnoxious cousins or nosey siblings, Shral became very adept at sneaking out and finding quiet, isolated little hiding spots to read and just be by himself.

Shral had his entire education and career path planned out by age 11 - including extracurriculars, optional courses and qualifications, and short lists of ideal postings. He followed the outline he'd made religiously, and while things didn't always go according to plan he more or less ended up exactly where he meant to. (His parents still can't decide if they're impressed by his strength of will and dedication or concerned that they've somehow managed to raise a workaholic loner in a society of extroverts. All of their other children turned out just fine...)

The very first time Shral met Dagmar, he was prepared to be deeply unimpressed with the Human his cousin Theb had shuffled his way for the endless parade of useless translators. When she walked into the room, however... Shral can't explain what, precisely, happened. One moment, he was fine. The next, he felt as though he'd been struck over the back of the head with a blunt object. It was an anime-worthy moment. (His expression revealed none of this. Dagmar legitimately thought she'd fucked up the interview.)

His current hobbies are physical training and duelling. (They're not actually hobbies.)

His favourite food is whatever he's served. (It's spice cake.)

He hasn't taken a personal day or a vacation in years. (He doesn't plan to, either.)

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Homestuck/Hiveswap

Character: Nepeta Leijon

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Type of fic: short story

Other info: Would be nice if it was holiday themed :33 You pick the theme

Hope you enjoy! I really love Nepeta, lol. AU where Nepeta is alive on Earth C. Darling is human. Used a Homestuck quirk generator so her lines may be off (I had to edit them a bit so they could be understood)

Snowy Day

Yandere! Nepeta Leijon Short - Winter Event Request

Pairing: Matesprit❤️/Moirail♦️

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Some minor culture shock, Restraints, Implied isolation, Dubious on if you are kidnapped or not, Forced cuddling, Forced relationship in some way.

Cold white flakes drift towards the ground, a substance Nepeta has never seen before. Alternia, her old home, never got this cold. The new experience had her staring at the white surface of Earth C with eager eyes.

According to her friends this time of year was special for human culture. The olive blood feels excited as she keeps her eyes on the snow outside. Oh… it looks like it'd be so fun to pounce!

Nepeta has heard many things about this time of year. In the cold it “snows” and you can play in it. Humans often bake desserts, give gifts, and all sorts of things. However… Nepeta found one thing very appealing.

Spending time with loved ones.

Nepeta felt if anything this was the purrfect way to bond with her human. Yes… her human! You two already share a house together on Earth C! Yet… you seem so cold recently, like the snow littering the ground.

No matter because Nepeta has plans to change that!

Nepeta pries her gaze from the window to face the couch. A roaring fire crackles at the fireplace to keep the room warm. It feels nice on the skin.

On the couch sits you, "Nepeta's human". You sit with your hands and legs tied, it's a set of ropes keeping you on the couch. Nepeta can't help but grin at you, even if you look at her with fear and betrayal.

“:33 < don't you f33l better!? this time of year is best spent with people you love, right?” Nepeta purrs as she runs over to sit on the couch. You don't make an effort to move as she slips a blanket over the two of you.

Nepeta is so happy she met you! On Alternia she was rather lonely in her cave except for Equius and her unrequited feelings for Karkat. Well… now she has you!

Moirail… Matesprit… She doesn't care. She's just happy she has someone like you. Especially when she wants to cuddle someone while the snow falls!

“:33 < there's no n33d to be so scared! we love each other, don't we?” Nepeta grins, pulling you closer and nuzzling. “:33 < we'll k33p each other warm... i'm so glad we're together!”

Together… but not really by choice on your end. You try to ignore the feline troll snuggling into you and stare at the fire. This winter could be beautiful and nostalgic… if you weren't in this situation.

You hear the troll yawn next to you as she curls up against you. You lean away a bit to lay down but Nepeta just follows you closely. Her grip is like that of iron and you swear she's actually purring.

Nepeta tiredly watches the snow outside as the fire crackles away. She feels so warm against you, it's putting her to sleep. Feeling content and happy… the olive blood closes her eyes and falls asleep on top of you.

You feel the troll sleeping on top of you and try to pull at your restraints. Sadly she knew to put them on tightly with many intricate knots. Nepeta has caught you like you're her prey and you're at her mercy.

All you can do is watch the snow and fire… praying Nepeta decides to let you go outside tomorrow.

Or at the very least… out of the restraints.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Small Tears of the Kingdom changes that could have done a lot

(at least according to me, the one singular flawed person writing this post)

In my desperate attempt to close off the Tears of the Kingdom season on my side of the internet (failing so far), I wanted to join the proposals of a couple of small restructurations/rewrites I've seen on my dashboard. These wouldn't change much of the game, but enough to boisten some of the themes and make the experience both more open and more streamlined. They try to ignore a lot of my own biases towards what I would have loved to see explored within the game and focus on what already exists (I said try). These changes are not only story-driven but also focus on quest design and narrative reward logic, which puzzled me even more than the story itself.

It's obviously not the end all be all of everything, there's a ton of small things that aren't fully adressed, etc.

Here are the 3 main tenants of this proposal:

We know about Fake Zelda by the end of the tutorial section. We see glimpses of her all the way, even though Rauru doesn't seem to be aware she's here, and most of our obstacles come from us trying to reach and save her. Then, by the end, she tries to kill us in the Temple of Time, and we realize she's fake and a lure (it could be a small mini boss, nothing too severe; just something to prove we understand combat). It could also be an earlier occasion to have Ganondorf shit-talk us using his creepy voice through her body, that could build up a better sense of rivalry going forward and make the betrayal of him using her body sting much more than it does in the current version.

Ganondorf, using Fake Zelda, tries to antagonizes each region of Hyrule towards their princess --and, the very important part, it works. The kingdom is splintering apart as he plans his return and his invasion. The goal in each region is not to vaguely solve the weird local problem, but, using the regional hero that knows and trusts Link, to prove that whatever is happening isn't Zelda's fault. This allows to build some sense of tension and stakes, makes us deeply empathize with an overwhelmed Zelda trying to step up as a leader in the aftermath of the Calamity and isn't here to defend herself (and then when we learn where she is and what she did it hurts so much more). The camp where Purah is could also double-down as the beating heart of Hyrule trying to reconnect with the suspicious regions suffering the turmoil isolated from each other.

The Dragon's Tears questline is overhauled, and that can happen in two simultaneous ways. Some of these memories remain Zelda's, but now only some of them, perhaps those who are connected to Zelda's decision to become a dragon without ever spilling it out (and could even focus more on her insecurities as a young ruler and her relationship to her ancestors), remain sprinkled into the land to reward those who want to understand more about her motivations. But now, each of the secret stones collected along the way also function as tears, and instead of being treated to another delicious serving or The Imprisoning War? The Demon King??? we get to discover a little bit more of the mystery. The way it could work is quite simple: the Sage introduces us briefly to their own perspective into the war outside of a voiced cutscene to give the writing more flexibility regarding what the player already did to avoid repetition ( :) :) ), and then plays a pre-determined cutscene in a linear fashion, which is one of Rauru's memories embedded within the secret stone and tells the story of the fall of his kingdom to Ganondorf. (also bonus: now Zelda's tears don't embody the entire kingdom anymore, which was very strange and never sat right with me)

So what we did is to separate the different stories while intertwining them: Zelda's struggles and sacrifice on one hand, Rauru's regrets and bitterness on the other (lololol sorry), and Ganondorf's attempt to break the kingdom apart --which would feed into both Zelda's anxieties and Rauru's long winded defeat. The bonus to this approach would also be to question Hyrule's legitimacy: the various races would then need to decide, after having actively questioned the young princess, that they actually still believe in Hyrule and a future they all get to live in together.

This would also give a little bit more teeth to Ganondorf's motivation, his deep envy for the power of Hyrule and the fact that his own people chose it over him, let alone everyone else. As for the Link's motivation, trying to have everyone see that Zelda is worth it and stop that evil force from shattering her image while also acknowledging the faults of the past could make the player invested in wanting to bring Zelda back down after everything she went through and all the sacrifices she made to prove herself a worthy ruler (Rauru's forcefulness in assimilating the realm under his banner even though he meant well being his actual character flaw that Mineru could eventually acknowledge, to give her something to do instead of... feeling bad for no clear reason!! Also just *give emotional weight* to that time she holds Rauru's hand again when she swears fealty to Link, this was so simple and obvious how was it not given the time it needed for us to care about what was lost!!! aaa)

Yes, it's still about the power of love and sacrifice over ruthless domination, but now characters have a little bit more agency and we feel a little less like they have a zonai knife under their throats the entire time forcing them to always be happy and enthusiastic about swearing fealty to the immortal kingdom. They find out about the past but get to redefine their future instead of falling over themselves in worship; literally using pieces and bits of the past in the form of zonai tech to rebuild their own kingdom and their future dreams. Together they are stronger; but because they all chose to believe in that mantra instead of having it being imposed by long dead kings and faceless ancestors expecting them to die for a war that shouldn't concern them.

(Also, obviously, the gerudo region has to reckon with the Demon King being particularly angry at them for betraying him, and them deciding to reject his rule a second time and embrace their own path, because in the original TotK Ganondorf being gerudo could be removed entirely without any consequence, which is pretty sad since it's basically an enormous part of what makes him compelling as a villain for a lot of people and keeps him from being a completely generic Nintendo stock villain!!)

And honestly? Beyond a couple of dialogue changes and slightly different setups and reasonings for Link to do certain things, especially in the various regional quests? Most of everything else could stay roughly the same. The bones are here! They're just arranged in a really weird way.

(except for Ganondorf surviving as a big bad dragon in the end through the sacrifice of his mind to immortality because that's just much more interesting than turning him into a supernova --but that's really a bonus honestly)

[chuuyadelune]

Sigma, The Key To Winning Meursault? Dazai, unpredictability, and the value of choice (BSD 106.5 spoilers)

it’s been a while since i last wrote any sort of analysis on the BSD manga, but this recent chapter gave me so many thoughts which i dumped on a friend (hi yush), so! i decided to flesh them out a bit more. as in the title, i think that sigma is who is going to be the deciding factor as to who wins meursault.

well, okay. maybe not the tipping point (there’s a lot to consider, after all), but he’ll be very instrumental. because not only does it makes sense for his character arc, but also — i think that he serves a very interesting thematic purpose in relation to the ideas dazai’s put forward during the prison arc as a whole.

before anything else, i do wanna say that i agree that this feels like a set-up for sigma’s entrance exam, as several people have suggested. the conditions are perfect: dazai implicitly giving him the choice to help or flee feels like a very fitting dilemma to test the kind of qualities the ADA seeks. 

but more than that, i think this concept of “choice” is ultimately what will decide who comes out victorious in meursault. to sum up the main point of this analysis: i think that sigma’s purpose, on a meta level, is to represent two important factors of dazai’s driving philosophies, and two things that separate him from fyodor: the power of unpredictability, and choice.

(chapter 77, official yen press translation)

 what’s driving the world... are those in the storm of accidental events who scream... run... and spill blood.

this jailbreak mini-arc is the culmination of everything that they have discussed during their time in meursault: philosophy, world view, strategy, everything. and this conversation from chapter 77 in particular forms a very important part of what makes fyodor and dazai fundamentally different from each other. i would even go so far as to point to it as being the main conflict of the meursault jailbreak. 

and sigma, effectively, is caught in the middle of these two. as someone who worked closely with fyodor as a member of the decay, he’s been exposed to a lot of his thinking. it’s evident in the way that he speaks about “ordinary” versus “superhumans”, for example. and in the prison, dazai’s been showing him to methods and ways of thinking other than those of fyodor’s, like showing him that there is no difference between “superhuman” or “ordinary” men. 

following this, then, i think we can consider sigma to be at a crossroads of sorts. now that dazai is out of the picture (for now), the decision that he makes — whether to save dazai, flee on his own to save himself, or something else, a return to fyodor’s methods, or if nikolai appears again — will be a very important one in deciding the outcome of meursault. in fact, i’d go so far to say that it’s the ultimate decision of the jailbreak arc.

what i want to focus on here is the mere fact that sigma’s been left this choice at all. because i think it speaks volumes as to what sigma’s role is for the rest of the prison break. and it’s also important for showing dazai’s own way of thinking, and what role chuuya may take. a full explanation under the cut; warning for light storm bringer spoilers too!

Chapter 77: The Potential Of Unpredictability

going back to the chapter 77 conversation, dazai points out that despite all their intellect and cunning, both he and fyodor both wound up in a prison, isolated from everyone else. they, in the most physical sense, are now powerless. sure, they can plan and scheme, but are they the ones making the moves? no. all of this is on the people on the outside, who just act. the true power lies with them; their decisions, rational or not, according to plan or not, are the ones who really move things forward. and where fyodor simply views humans as tools, as boring, below him — dazai knows that this is where true strength lies. if the world were left to the devices of people like fyodor, things just would remain at a standstill. unpredictability, fighting and people thinking up new ways of doing things is how progress is made.

and similarly, meursault thus far has just been a consistent back-and-forth between dazai and fyodor as to who one-ups the other. dazai chooses sigma as an ally; not even moments later, fyodor whips out chuuya as his own card. dazai tries drowning fyodor? fyodor does the exact same to dazai with the elevator (with a bonus of fire, just for fun, you know). 

time and time again during this arc, unpredictability — the power of people’s actions beyond scheming — is what has allowed the agency to keep fighting. things like tachihara breaking the confines of the page, choosing to side with the mafia over the hunting dogs; ranpo convincing half of yokohama’s police force to think with their souls and getting them on side with the agency’s innocence; heck, even just ranpo hijacking kamui’s execution plan as a whole and getting the ADA (minus dazai) back together. and i believe it will be a similar case here, in the prison. unpredictability feeds progress. and this is how dazai will prevail.

sigma absolutely has the power to catch fyodor off guard. with the very act of “leaving the rest” to sigma, one of the many who “spills blood”, while dazai himself hurtles downwards in an falling elevator, a scenario is created where the only choice is for sigma to do something. and i’d argue that this is the kind of situation — one where sigma needs to act — is something that dazai’s been aiming for from the start. because he fully understands that this unpredictability is the only way for the stalemate between him and fyodor to be broken. otherwise, things would just remain a consistent back-and-forth as their past exchanges have been. anything dazai does, or thinks up, fyodor counters.

something that’s really interesting to me is how dazai has been gently nudging sigma into a position/mindset to take the role of a more active player from the start of the jailbreak. dazai’s been encouraging sigma to think more for himself (ex. trying to figure out his method of communication from chapter 101, or deducing his rock-paper-scissors trick in 105). and he’s encouraged sigma to look beyond the status of “superhuman” and “ordinary man” that he is so fixated on. all of this is giving a sense of agency back to sigma, who is someone who’s been used all of his (short) life.

(translation via @/buraihatranslations on tumblr)

- but now you understand.

- what?

- it’s all a play of hands. i’m not a superhuman beyond the limits of human wisdom. in this world, there’s no such thing as a superhuman nor an average human.

now, i personally don’t think dazai set up the falling elevator, but rather simply knew it was a possibility, and acted accordingly — if the act of checking the mechanism a couple of chapters ago was anything to go by. this meant that in such a scenario, he had a means of getting at least one of them out. and he deliberately chose to save sigma: both because of the promise he made to get sigma out alive, but also because he knows sigma’s unpredictability has the potential to throw fyodor off. like, i’m fairly sure fyodor wasn't able to predict just how exactly tachihara would break the confines of the page. similarly, sigma has the potential to defy expectations, to see things that fyodor doesn’t. and dazai knows this.

because i mean, you would think, in a jailbreak scenario where you’re playing against your most detested rival with poison (allegedly!) pumping through your veins, the first priority would be to try and save your own ass. because otherwise, what’s the point? especially when your friends on the outside are depending on you to crush the root of the problem (ranpo, in chapter 95, says that dazai is the only one who could defeat fyodor). and i have no doubts that fyodor would have done something along those lines — he’ll likely discard chuuya as soon as he’s done serving his purpose, as he did with previous pawns (i mean, he literally left pushkin to get jumped by both the agency and mafia after the cannibalism arc, LMAO). 

this shows a marked difference in fyodor and dazai’s marked attitudes to humanity. fyodor simply sees humans as tools, beings simply manipulated by a ‘god’ (ch.77), and so, nothing really worth... fighting for. but dazai instead sees their value and autonomy. this isn’t the first time that dazai’s put himself in grave danger for the sake of the agency either — he let himself be captured by the mafia for the sake of intel on atsushi’s tiger bounty; in chapter 46 he let himself get shot for the sake of finding out fyodor’s goals. and fyodor doesn’t really understand this. why would he go so far? it doesn’t make sense. and i’d imagine it’d be a similar thing here in the jailbreak. why would dazai sacrifice himself, especially in a life or death scenario when the end-goal is literally to defeat the other person to stay alive?

The Right To Make Choices

dazai’s view of humanity as autonomous beings with the right to make their own decisions is arguably the biggest advantage he has over fyodor. fyodor’s unwillingness to look past humans as being boring and thus incapable of amounting to much on their own is a massive blind spot. as i discussed above; the unpredictability that comes with ordinary folk making their own decisions is exactly what has enabled the agency to keep going. 

and you know, it’s all well and good that dazai’s put sigma in a situation where he has to do something. but i’d argue that it doesn’t mean anything if sigma doesn’t have a say in it. something i really want to emphasise is that sigma doesn’t have to save dazai. ultimately, it is a situation where he has to make a decision, but what that decision is? that’s still very much up to his own discretion. dazai leaving him with a very vague, “i leave the rest to you” isn’t so much a, “hey, please save me,” but it feels more like a — “you’ve got this. whatever you do, you can do it.” this expression isn’t exactly one that’s desperate, after all.

(translation by ranpoedgw on twitter)

i’ll leave the rest to you.

because the thing is, dazai has always valued people choosing their own actions for their own reasons. we saw it with chuuya in storm bringer; atsushi still could have said no to joining the agency, or even no to coming back (after the events of chapter 5/episode 4, when the black lizards attack the ADA office). even in “happy group counselling hour” (chapter 64/season 4 episode 8), the advice he gives to fyodor — acting lazy and letting his subordinates be until they decide to do something — still very much involves choice and agency; in contrast, fyodor’s advice eliminates that entirely. chuuya’s a vampire without autonomy as far as we know. he has no other option but to follow fyodor.

and for sigma as a character, the concept of being given a choice is so important. for most of his life, he feels like he’s had no other option but to follow the wishes of people he’s being used by, because he has nothing else to lose or nowhere else to go. so him being given the ability to choose, wherever possible, is significant.

like, i’m fully aware that fyodor told him not to fight the hunting dogs and he chose not to listen to that advice. but the thing is, i would argue that sigma felt he really didn’t have much choice at all in that situation. he was cornered, about to lose the only place that allowed him to form some sense of identity.

so essentially, this single choice here is the most important decision of the meursault jailbreak, but also for sigma as a whole thus far. which is why i think that it’s so vital that this is all on him. with this, he moves beyond the expectations that fyodor has for him, breaks the stalemate, and proves dazai’s philosophy about human choice right. which, i feel, is a more damning defeat for fyodor on a thematic level. and this is, i think; the role that sigma is meant to play in this jailbreak arc. 

Human Connection: Chuuya

so, now i’ve talked about sigma, i also want to talk a bit about chuuya, because autonomy and agency is also quite an important part of his character. and i still do think that he’ll be an important part of the jailbreak. just... perhaps in a slightly different way to what i first assumed it would be, and not as soon as i personally was anticipating.

in the same way that sigma’s role is to represent dazai’s philosophies as i discussed earlier, chuuya, as he is here, in the jailbreak arc, can be considered very much to be exemplifying fyodor’s. where dazai chose sigma; fyodor simply sat and ‘prayed’ (if you can even call it that), before chuuya arrived on the scene. his state as a mindless vampire reflects both fyodor’s view of humans as being manipulated by god, therefore choice is irrelevant, and his method of making sure that the only choice chuuya has is to follow his orders, as outlined in chapter 64. but i’m not convinced that this is all there is to it. it doesn’t make sense, not with his character, not with the rest of the story. and not with dazai around. this puts chuuya in a bit of a unique position.

see, the difference between fyodor and sigma and dazai and chuuya is — well, they did know each other for a similar amount of time, 3 years or so (assuming fyodor was there when sigma came into existence). but where fyodor really just used sigma — dazai and chuuya were equals. partners. and this highlights yet another key difference between dazai and fyodor: human connection.

i said earlier that fyodor’s dismissal of human autonomy was a blind spot for him. and i think that’s definitely very relevant when it comes to chuuya, as well; and also why dazai repeatedly puts himself in danger for the sake of the ADA as i mentioned above. i don’t think fyodor was entirely serious when he called their seven-year bond ‘shallow’, and he was just trying to provoke dazai (basically, get on his nerves). but it still highlights their difference in how they view and connect with others. and i still think that this is a set-up for him to be humbled spectacularly in the future, because irony and all that. 

something that i think is an interesting possibility is fyodor specifically choosing chuuya because of his prior connection to dazai. he did steal those port mafia files after the confrontation with ace back in season 3; he also saw them end the dragonhead conflict when SKK were 16. going back to fyodor’s view of humans — i think it’s a possibility that he just simply doesn't understand how someone like him can form deep human connections, and using chuuya is both a way of interrogating that and getting one-up on dazai, with the added bonus of chuuya being an extra-strong ability user, of course. (this provides an interesting path for fyodor’s character development, i think, which is pretty overdue!)

whatever the case is, i think one thing that has defined chuuya’s character from age 15 up until now is a rejection of philosophy. not to say that he doesn’t think. but he’s someone who doesn’t exactly see too much value in motivations or thought processes, like we saw in storm bringer — he just does what he thinks is best, and that’s kind of just how he’s always operated. he dismissed verlaine’s way of thinking; he rejected dazai as well. and in a similar way, he would for sure have taken issue with fyodor as his normal self. and i think this provides an interesting point of comparison between sigma and chuuya. 

sigma is someone who doesn’t really have all that much life experience. all he knows is what it’s like to be used; but has just been swept along, accepting that he is just an ‘outsider’. because he doesn’t know anything else. chuuya, on the other hand, is someone who has also been used and exploited; but still, has always made his own choices no matter what other people said. even if it lost him the sheep, he went after his own origins. he swore allegiance to mori at the end of fifteen out of his own volition. he continues to put his life on the line for the sake of the mafia until now.

but this is why i personally think it’s important that sigma’s the first to make a choice to break the stalemate, for the sake of his character development. he needs to build the kind of trust in himself that chuuya has. and i think that it’s equally important that chuuya, whenever he acts, moves independently of both dazai and fyodor. because it speaks to his character’s core values, and links with the wider themes of dazai’s thinking. 

i really don’t think, actually, that dazai anticipated chuuya being in the prison. but this is what’ll give chuuya’s actions, whatever he does, more weight. SKK plan or not, i’d argue that dazai still implicitly trusts chuuya to do what is best, and believes in his capacity to make choices as he does with sigma. we saw it in dead apple. and it wouldn’t be any different now. where fyodor sees chuuya as a useful tool because of his gravity manipulation, dazai trusts him as a human. and this trust is what will prevail over fyodor’s shallow reading of human nature. it doesn’t have to be an SKK strategy or plan at all. all that matters is proving that connection. and that’s what i think chuuya is there to show, in a thematic and narrative sense. i think it would be much more satisfying this way.

Conclusion

so, to sum it up: i think that sigma will move first and breaks the stalemate, which, in my view, is very important both for his character and disproving fyodor’s ideas about autonomy and predictability. chuuya will likely follow at some point in the future. whatever decision sigma makes now will be instrumental in deciding the outcome of meursault; as i said in the intro, it’s potentially the most important one of this entire mini-arc. the balance of the game all hinges on him.

regardless, though, even if sigma doesn’t break the stalemate, and that falls on chuuya or even nikolai instead — it’s clear to me that the outcome of the prison break, for several reasons, does not lie with dazai or fyodor at all. which still falls in line with dazai’s way of thinking. and as i said, that feels like a more significant victory over fyodor than a physical one, because of its thematic implications.

from a more concrete, story-plot perspective, i can’t really say what’s going to happen next; if dazai has more allies who can help him, or what. if the situation in meursault is meant to mirror that of the airport (which, considering that we keep alternating perspectives, this is probably happening simultaneously), then i do think that it’ll get worse for our side before it begins to get better (and even at the airport, i still can’t say we’ve hit rock bottom yet.) 

in the end, though, i think that the ADA has to prevail. they have to pull through. i’d like to think so, at least. and dazai will survive; i haven’t even entertained the idea of him being dead. he’s definitely not going to let an elevator take him out; like the man’s literally died three times in canon. and he just... has a long ways to go still (and he’s already come a long way!). anyway, i digress.

sigma’s choice represents important things both for dazai’s thinking, but also himself as a character. and that’s ultimately the main reason i think that he is going to be who decides meursault. unpredictably leads to progress — but progress cannot be made without respecting human autonomy and the right to make choices, which come about by really connecting with others.

thanks for reading!

[cowboypossume]

Hailey Banks is autistic

not just because i am too and i relate to her

1. The first episode we LITERALLY get the whole "I'm adverse to new experiences so I just write them down instead!". To the nth degree too /pos. That's what causes the whole series to begin

a big Thing of autism is need for a routine -or at least an idea of what to expect- to the point changes to the plan can result in meltdowns or flat out avoidance (as we see with Hailey).

with the world ending, she starts to embrace the changes, but still doesn't necessarily Like all the new things.

i could be reading to much into it, but in the theme song we get things like "make a candle with my own ear wax???" and "eat an onion :/" where we see this aversion to not only trying but actually DOING new things, too. this is continued at several points in the show, too. she flat out says "i don't want to do that right now; let's find a different list item" NUMEROUS times. several of those scenes do come from her feelings for scott, sure, but i think that proves my point?

friendship for neurodivergent people is ,, complicated (we'll get there) so right now hailey has this steady, predicable pattern with her best friend. she doesn't want to ruin that, and thus we fall back into the "i don't want things to change" part of autism

2. Hailey and birds

special interests are a bit complicated, and this isn't the place to explain it, but in short its basically a Really Strong interest in something. it occurs to everyone, but people with autism are more likely to experience either stronger or more frequent :)

birds are DEFINITELY a special interest for hailey!

- half of her list items INVOLVE birds and thus almost every episode has some sort of a something with birds (frank, the red owl, petey, etc) - she has a party and the way she wants to have fun is build birdhouses with her peers - she adopts a flamingo. like. - her little birdhouse collection <33333

there's more but it's just silly and i love frank and petey so much and-

3. she has a really hard time understanding how to relate to her peers socially

ok, again there are so many better researched things than this so this is a BRIEF summary, but: autistic people just process the world differently. a lot of social cues go over their head because the world is processed Different.

so having hailey be a bit dense social-wise is so nice to see. especially because none of the characters penalize her or mock her for not getting it. instead they just, talk to her? like people?

examples off the top of my head about the miscommunication are - kristine wanting to have a date with scott and hailey tags along - becker flirts with hailey and hailey is like ":D wow ! what a silly billy !" (the 'i'm more of a ice cream girl if you catch my drift' / 'i still need to use this coupon????') - the rubic's cube episode where hailey doesn't understand scott's needs vrs her own and like ,, how those mesh together - that plotline where hailey admits that she doesn't have that many [female] friends (or any besides scott) because it's always been weird for her - part of what draws her to frank is that she's ALSO been labeled as weird and different, and she doesn't think that's a reason for isolation - at her birthday party she doesnt understand why people aren't having fun. because, for her, this is fun!! - that same said party was immeditaly followed with her admitting "this isn't fun for me; i would like to stop" when it comes to the truth or dare game.

there are a bunch more examples. again, this just for a general idea to show where this idea is coming from

4. [according to the wiki] "Hailey is quite determined for a kid her age"

afab austistic people go underdiagnosed for reasons like this!!!

things that can SO be autisic are marked off as "mature" because a lot of austsim is masking OR traits that appear one way in amab appear differently in afab.

this idea of "determination" can tie into the special interest thing as mentioned before, or why austsic people are often shown as "selfish": because they want something, and don't understand the social repercussion of saying no.

5. as i mentioned, the list thing.

as generally mentioned, autistic people want a semblance of what to expect from something. when they don't get that, those feelings can cope in other ways.

in this show, hailey makes a list.

instead of trying something new, she just thinks 'oh i'll do that later!' and then DOESNT! :3

these are small things and obviously a headcannon, but it means a a lot to mean

[amekonocternia]

Any COD headcannons you have?

I wanted to do a bit on the COD as a group itself and then the COD members specifically so enjoy the assay this was fun : ] /pos

I like making the COD more threatening and serious group so it leans harder on the side of a cultish crime group

The COD keeps their adult members loyal through fear, acting against orders has serious punishments that come from it and to flat out betray the group is a imediate death sentence. They are however much more tamer with their child members, instead going the route of nuturing and 'teaching' them into loyalty. They treat emchantress like an all knowing god of sorts, their word is truth and any word other than it is a lie. The group itself is far bigger and has members hidden throught most kingdoms with the exception of Vanilla, Cheese and the Faerie Kingdoms (Cheese because it's been in ruins and assumed completely gone and Faerie due to just not being able to infultrate it, nobody lives in the Vanilla kingdom however people have entered under the guise of being travelers/visiters).

And then some member specific COD headcanons

When Pom joined the COD she became the sole leader before enchantress was released because of her ability to communicate with Enchantress through her mirror, making it so she was the most dependable when it came to ordering actions based on Enchantress' word

Pom actually isn't the Highest ranking member, that actually goes to Red Velvet as her son (she is not happy about this tho)

Pom was responsible for the creation of the SJS by Enchantress' orders

Red Velvets isolation in the Cake tower is both self imposed and also done intentionally by Enchantress at the same time. As a kid Enchantress believed that if he were allowed to be connected to people he was likley to end up going against the group when he was older so he was isolated with only the cake hounds as real company, as a result as he grew up he continued to isolate himself on his own accord due to feeling almost completely disconnected from people

Most members of the COD are forbidden from talking to Velvet with the exception of following his orders, those who can talk to him aren't allowed to tell him specific things about the group and their plans and are ordered to simply afferm his own beliefs of what the COD are.

Most people that acted the way Choco had in the COD would have just been killed, the only reason Choco stayed in one piece was because they always planned to use him as bait for Cacaos souljam and they couldn't do that if they just killed him

[when-we-drive-away-in-secret]

alright, so this is a question about netflix series which i've recently watched and now i'm suffering from asoue brainrot. there is an obscure moment in the penultimate peril (s3ep6) where frank locks olaf in the closet before the trial, and just as frank is about to close the door, olaf says, "one last thing", as if intending to say something. what do you think he wanted to add? is it something that is maybe more clear in the books?

OKAY so after rewatching that scene (several times) and rereading the corresponding scene in the book, I now feel at least partially equipped to answer this question! (But please bear with me because my research did send me on a bit of a tangent)

So first off, I don't think dealing with the book scene will be of too much help here (although not entirely unhelpful, either), because, as much as I love the netflix adaptation—and I do wholeheartedly adore it—it changes so much that the comparable scene is functionally unrecognisable in several key aspects. The main one being the lack of hostility towards to Baudelaires—Olaf is solidly isolated and supposedly running out of options at this point in the show, whereas his mentality in the books is entirely different because things appear to be going much more his way. He has a crowd at his back and the Baudelaires are seen as far more guilty, which doesn't really translate into the show!verse at all.

So, if we're looking at the show from a more isolated standpoint, I had to consider the possibility that it was a deliberate "what if" moment, without having anything else planned to say, purely for the purpose of getting in the Baudelaires' heads. However, I do feel like the most likely answer is that Olaf did in fact believe he would be heard out, so that's what we'll be assuming from here on out.

The fact that the Denouement in question calls him "buddy" and yet treats him roughly could have made him believe that this is Ernest playing the long con—pretending to be an ally to the others because they were outnumbered at the time, or simply for his own ends. However, he could also genuinely believe that it's Frank, and that he'd be heard out because it's the "noble" thing to do—VFD and the general society in the snicketverse is routinely governed by politeness over logic, and so cutting him off is simply impolite, so he may have believed he'd be able to talk his way out of being locked up. The use of "buddy" could be a generic, positive moniker used by Frank, or a genuine sentiment expressed by Ernest; the rough shake of his arm could be simply how Ernest behaves on any given day, or genuine righteous anger from Frank—just as it's impossible for us as the audience to be sure, Olaf has to try and figure this out in mere moments.

Regardless of what he thought would happen or who he thought he was talking to, though, I have to believe that whatever he was going to say would have been targeted more at the Baudelaires than the Denouement currently getting in his way, so it would likely have been an extension of what he'd already said, and what he'd go on to say at key moments for the remainder of the series—another attack on the Baudelaire parents, a critique of VFD's intentions, or something equally ambiguous to sow the seeds of mistrust in the minds of the children. Despite his general demeanour, he is actually a terrifyingly capable villain, and the human embodiment of the "either I'm god, or truth is relative" soundbite. If he's allowed to talk for long enough, he can convince just about anyone of anything (which is exactly what happens when he takes the stand during the trial), and I wouldn't be surprised if he was expecting to be allowed to run his mouth until both the adults are on his side.

What I think is a very interesting point to consider, though, is one useful comparison from the books—the number of the room he's sent to. As we all know, the rooms in the Hotel Denouement are arranged according to the Dewey Decimal System, and people are categorised above just as the records are categorised below. In the book, the Baudelaires are confined to room 121, and Olaf is locked in room 165 to await their trial. In the Dewey Decimal System, 121 refers to Epistemology—the theory of knowledge. A quote taken from the wikipedia page for epistemology reads:

Epistemology asks questions such as: "What is knowledge?", "How is knowledge acquired?", and "What do people know?"

Having the Baudelaires placed here shows that they aren't sure what people know about them, or what will be revealed at the trial, or what will happen to them (as clearly illustrated by the their conversation at the end of chapter ten). Olaf, however, is placed in room 165: Fallacies and Sources of Error. This could imply that he's in the wrong, but perhaps more likely foreshadows that other people are wrong about him. He will not go to prison, he will not be convicted, and, perhaps most crucially, he is not as completely evil as the Baudelaires believe. He has done terrible things, and he is a terrible person, but—as discussed during The End—they are wrong about the most crucial of his evil deeds (to them). Because he didn't kill their parents. He represents everything that VFD pretends it isn't, but at this point the Baudelaires believe (and have been told) that he is the complete antithesis of what the Volunteers represent—and so, he is categorised as a source of error.

However, in the show, both parties are placed in entirely different rooms, and therefore entirely different categorisations. The Baudelaires are placed in room 342: Constitutional and Administitive Law. This is a choice I absolutely adore, because at this point in the narrative they are quite literally trapped in bureaucracy. They fail because the system is rigged, and they are literally imprisoned by the law—not in the sense that they have already been convicted, but in the sense that they will be no matter what they do. If they stay, the High Court will pronounce them guilty. But, when they run, they're supposedly only proving their own guilt—damned if they don't, and damned if they do.

Olaf's is perhaps the more interesting change, though, because he's no longer seen as a source of error—despite the claims he makes about the Baudelaire parents and VFD immediately before being locked up (once again implying that he isn't lying to them, just using convenient truths). And it carries through to the trial, because he uses the truth (albeit a very deliberately and pointedly edited version) to make the Baudelaires seem just as guilty as he is. In the show, he's placed in room 170: Ethics (moral philosophy). And he is given the chance to talk at the trial, and talk he does. He twists the truth, spins it so that the Baudelaires seem guilty, but that is the exact point of moral debate! He trolley-problemed his way into screwing with the Baudelaires' heads, not because he needed to (he knew he was never getting convicted, because he knew who was on the High Court), but to prove a goddamn point. Yes, he's done terrible things, but did anyone think to ask him why? Of course, to us, the reader, the viewer, the third party observer, it doesn't matter. Because at a certain point, actions speak for themselves. Reasons can explain, but not necessarily excuse—that is the reasonable stance to take, and no matter his reasons, the explanation will never be an excuse for him.

But he's an actor. That's why Klaus calls him up to the stand in the trial, because he knows he'll want to talk in front of an audience, and can't imagine any way he wouldn't incriminate himself. And despite the Baudelaires' personal opinions of his ability, we've seen time and time again that he must be a good actor, because people always believe his performances. And as any good actor could tell you, it's crucial to be able to read your audience. If you want the best reaction, then you need to work out, as quickly as humanly possible, how they'll respond, and play up or tone down your performance accordingly. And he's spent so much time with VFD, with the Baudelaires, that he knows just what to say. He knows that, regardless of their reasons, they will feel guilty—in both the book and the show, they question if they're not just as bad as him! They did what they did to survive, and they genuinely worry that they're the same as the murderous, fortune-hungry beast that's been hunting them through their grief and fear. And he knows that. He wants to get in their heads, maybe just for fun, but mostly to get them to come to him. And the worst part is that it bloody works! They end up escaping with him, burning the hotel and potentially letting him out into the world, turning away from the good-hearted people trying to help them because if they can't trust anyone to be on their side, at least they can trust him not to be.

All this to say that, looking at his character, the writing of the show and the way the events unfold, while I can't give you a verbatim quote of what I think he would have said, I will say this: I wholeheartedly believe it would have been a short, targeted line to the Baudelaires, attacking them, their belief system, their very moral character. Because he didn't know he'd be allowed to speak at the trial—remember, it was only Klaus' fear and paranoia that put him on the stand in the first place—and as far as he knew, that could have been his last chance to ensure they'd come to him. He wasn't sure his previous words had been enough, and we all know he has a flair for the dramatic. Think back to one of the most chilling moments of the entire series, both in the book and show, at the end of the Bad Beginning. When the lights go out and he makes his escape, the Baudelaires would have still lived in fear of him, knowing he was on the loose, but that wasn't enough. He risked capture, risked losing his window of escape, all to torment Violet one last time; to plant that final seed of paranoia and fear into her mind, to whisper threats in the dark. And I have no doubt that, had he been given the chance, that is precisely what he would have done here.

By cutting him off, the Denouement gave the Baudelaires hope; hope that it might be different, hope that people wouldn't listen to him this time. But after all they'd been through, they couldn't risk not letting him talk—everyone always listens to him, in the end, and they had to make sure that everyone would finally believe them instead. And that very act of cutting him off, of not letting him give that final threat, is perhaps what sealed their fates. If Olaf's threat was fresh in their minds, they might have been too fearful to address him. If, like in the books, he'd eluded to his acquaintance with the High Court, they might have known what would happen. But he didn't get the chance, and neither did they.

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 4: Anathema

Today has been a bit of a mess, and now we've had a small change of plans because today's intended fic is missing a chunk.

So we have two scenes from Anathema since @sonyawix asked so nicely. These follow on straight from Alice and Jasper's very awkward and public first meeting; Anathema is so fun to write honestly.

I hope everyone has a good day, and I'll be back tomorrow!

anathema

The car ride home from the meeting was silent, with both Freddie and I mulling over what had just transpired with the Cullens, and exactly what it meant for us.

Because there was one thing we didn’t want anyone to figure out, especially the council. 

And it was the fact that I wasn’t entirely human. I wasn’t just gifted. 

My biological father was a vampire. 

It was practically unheard of, according to Jeannie. Nearly impossible for a vampire to father a child, let alone for the mother to carry the pregnancy to term. And Jeannie had never heard, in all her family’s diaries and archives, of any of the mothers surviving the birth. 

My mom had been no exception. Lilian Brandon-Myer had died within moments of my birth, when I had ripped my way out of her body with her sharp little teeth. The human body isn’t designed to survive that kind of trauma. I keep telling myself that - there was no way anyone could have saved her. It was a damn miracle that she had even made it that far, really. 

I really didn’t know that much about her. She’d been twenty-seven years old, worked at an art gallery, and had been married for two years, to Richard. I had one memory of her, wispy and thin since I was only moments old - wide blue eyes in a thin, pale face; dark hair, and a lot of blood. She was probably already dead. 

My mother had been Freddie’s baby sister, and he had doted on her - I’d heard all the stories, how much he’d adored her. He’d been completely and utterly destroyed when my mother had died. Hell, Jeanie had alluded that she and Freddie had cared for her during her pregnancy, trying to keep her alive long enough to give birth. And then I had been born a freak of nature, growing so much faster than a human baby. They couldn’t dump me on social services when, by my first birthday, I was already the same as a human three-year-old. 

And Mom’s husband had been too… normal to take me, and I’m not sure he’d have wanted to; I was what killed her. He never would have been able to cope with the realities of the supernatural, let alone raising a vampire-human hybrid who aged three times faster than an ordinary child. Jeanie, at least, had one foot in the supernatural world, and generations of family lore and history to navigate raising me safely. 

She always said that she and Freddie had never been blessed with children of their own, so I was their special gift. I don’t know if either of us really believed that but it was a nice sentiment. 

Even my ‘sister’ wasn’t really any relation to me. Cynthia was Richard’s daughter with his second wife, and my one link to the real, normal world. I had no idea how Freddie convinced Rich to let us be raised as ‘sisters’, but I was grateful - I adored Cynthia, and I wish we could have spent more time together. Rich was actually a really nice guy; he called me on my birthday, and sent me gifts, and always told me that I was the spitting image of Mom and she would have been so proud of me. Honestly, everything I know about Mom, I got from Rich; Freddie never spoke of her, and Jeanie always promised she’d tell me more when I was older. 

“What are we going to do?” I asked softly, and Freddie sighed and shook his head. “D’you want me to go to the beach house?”

Freddie and Jeanie raised me in an isolated house near Neah Bay for the first couple of years, to keep me out of sight - Freddie commuted to the funeral home as needed. As far as the Forks’ locals knew, I had come into their custody when I was ‘twelve’; in reality, I was fully-grown at seven years old and was just slight enough to pass as a middle-schooler with a few adjustments - it’s amazing what a too-big dress and a pair of pink plastic glasses could do. I really had looked like a child being raised by an older couple; awkward and unfashionable. 

But we’d kept the beach house; Freddie and I drove up a few times a year to make sure it was maintained and secure. Freddie had gone to no small amount of trouble and expense to make sure that no one knew we owned the property, especially anyone in Forks. It had to stay as a safe house in case everything went sour. 

One thing that Jeanie was intensely aware of was the Quileutes’ history with the Cold Ones, and she swore that they could never, ever know about me. That she didn’t know what the Blacks and the Clearwaters would do if they found out about me. They would certainly argue that we couldn’t function as Mediators, because we couldn’t be impartial when my sperm donor was a vampire. There was a very, very good chance they’d banish me from the reservation, and hold me to the treaty - if not try and run Freddie and I out of town entirely. 

Or even try to hurt me. 

I hated that; the idea that Sue Clearwater - who had done so much heavy lifting in our household after Jeanie died - could turn on me. That Leah and I wouldn’t tease each other, or that I’d never be able to go down to La Push with the twins again. Besides, I was functionally human - I ate, I slept, I bled, I used the bathroom, I wasn’t venomous - Jeanie had run dozens of tests over the years. My heart-beat was faster than a humans, and I ran warm on a good day, but now that I was mature, I was just me. Just Alice Brandon, illegal mortician. 

And Jeanie and Freddie had established so many precautions over the years - Jeanie had avoided feeding me blood as a baby or any sort of meat - raising me as a vegetarian human - and to this day I wonder if that’s why I’m so small, that my growth was somewhat stunted. But it was a choice she made for my best interests, so I couldn’t hold any resentment for that. I had been kept away from other children and most other humans until I was fully grown and could understand the severity of the situation and how important the rules were; and even then, I had dozens of rules about things I could and couldn’t do, so not to ever reveal any similarity to vampires. 

But Jeanie was certain that Sue and Billy Black would basically turn me into a pariah if they ever caught wind of the situation, and she hadn’t wanted that for me. So, we had kept that a secret. We never spoke of it. 

But now that the Cullens were here, everything was at risk - would they know? Would they guess? Had they guessed? Vampire senses were so strong, and perhaps Jasper’s reaction to me had been because of my biology - would my reaction to Jasper Cullen clue anyone in, or could it be hand-waved away by my gift?

And if they did figure it out, would they tell the Council - perhaps use it as a bargaining chip to renegotiate the treaty?

I didn’t know. I couldn’t know; no decision had been made. But I didn’t want to discuss it with them, perhaps negotiate for their silence, in case they hadn’t worked it out. 

Ugh, I hated this so much. I was already mentally packing my bags to hide up in the beach house until we could guarantee I was safe. I’d have to stay there alone; Freddie had the funeral home to run. I’d be lonely and bored and worried, stuck in an old house that was full of ghosts. It was Jeanie’s house, and being there without her… I didn’t like it. 

We pulled up in front of the funeral home and Freddie looked at me. “It’s alright Alice,” he said finally, sounding tired. “We’ll go in and talk to the others, and worry about everything else tomorrow. There’s no need to panic, I promise.”

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” I said softly, and we both knew I wasn’t talking about my moment with Jasper. 

“I know, pet, I know.”

//

I made coffee faster than any living being in the world before hightailing it downstairs, to the funeral home’s parlour, where the meeting was happening. Or rather, five adults were having a nuclear meltdown.

“He will not be allowed anywhere near her!” Freddie’s face was bright red as he paced the room. “I want it added to the laws! He’s a damn monster, and I will not lose another…”

“We know, Freddie,” Sue sighed, arms crossed over her chest. “And we agree with you that the Cullens should be informed that Alice is off-limits.”

“But can we do that?” Charlie Swan looked exhausted. “Can he do that? Billy - one of the imprints; could one of the wolves physically stay away from their imprint? Does it work the same way for vampires?”

The Clearwaters and Billy Black exchanged looks. 

“I don’t know about vampires, but no, the wolf could not stay away from their imprint. We’ve seen it attempted before,” Billy said finally. “And most attempts do not last long. We don’t know what a long-term attempt would look like for the wolf or the imprint.”

“Sickness?” Charlie asked. “Feral behaviour? Violence? Madness? Death?”

They all exchanged glances and I decided it was time to make my presence known.

“You’re not going to hurt Jasper?” I asked in my most innocent voice, my eyes wide, and my lip trembling. It wouldn’t work on the Clearwaters, or Freddie - he was too upset - but I knew Charlie Swan wouldn’t be able to deal with a crying teenage girl.

Harry took the coffee tray from me as they all exchanged loaded looks. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, sniffling. 

“Calm down, Alice,” Billy said in an even voice. “We’re just discussing our options.”

“I don’t like the idea that keeping them separated could result in violence,” Harry said grimly. “We can’t risk it.”

“But you’re willing to risk Alice?” Freddie exploded.

“He’s not ‘risking’ me!” I yelled back. “No one is! Jasper won’t hurt me!” I looked Freddie in the eye. “You know that!”

“None of us know that,” Freddie shot back. “And I refuse to stand by and let history repeat itself with those monsters!”

“Mom was attacked and raped by Red-Eyes!” I shot back. “The treaty said the Cullens can’t drink human blood! All Jasper wants to do is hold my hand and talk to me!”

Billy Black snorted, and I saw Sue and Harry exchange looks. 

“Alice, he was sniffing your hair,” Sue said slowly. “And the look on his face…”

I looked at her bewildered, and quickly ran through the overflow of visions I’d had. There were a couple that got… well. I would have protested doing that with such a large audience, and it was obvious that his brothers and sister wouldn’t have let him get very far. The fact that that was one of his initial reactions to me was… well, I was a little flattered, to be honest.  

“Oh,” I said, shaking my head. “No, he changed his mind, like, 30 times in less than a minute. That’s why my visions went haywire - my brain couldn’t process that much information that quickly. I think he was doing something, like he w-“

“He’s gifted?” Sue interrupted me. 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to ask him. In person.”

Freddie was already shaking his head. “Absolutely not.”

“We negotiate. I’m sure the Cullens will be agreeable,” I said soothingly. “Chaperoned meetings, like in the olden days, for my protection. All above board and very G-rated. Hell, we can even sit here in the parlour. Just talking.”

“It would lower the risk of any sort of violence to get to Alice, it’s on neutral territory, and we have no idea what keeping them apart could do to Alice,” Harry sighed. “An imprint can feel the effect of a strained bond, it can take a toll on their long-term health…”

“It’s not happening!” Freddie threw up his hands. 

“Freddie, you need to listen to us,” Sue said, trying to act as peacekeeper. “I don’t know what a mate bond looks like in vampires or how it’s formed, but what we do know that in the wolves, it will actively hurt Alice to be kept away from him - she will get sick.”

“What if it was Leah? Or Jacob and the blonde vampire?” Freddie snapped back. “Or Isabella or Seth? Would you still be standing here, telling me that this is a-a risk I just have to accept? Even without Lilian…” Freddie put his face in his hands and took a shuddering breath. “Would you?” he glared at Sue.

Sue frowned. “That is a totally different situation, Fred,” she said evenly. “I don’t believe our genetics would allow such a bond to form. But if it were Leah, I would do every single thing I could to protect her from harm - the harm of a vampire and the harm of a broken bond. I would not allow my daughter to suffer in such a way.”

Freddie was shaking his head. “No, no, I don’t believe you. And Alice isn’t your daughter. She’s my niece. She’s staying right here. He can stay on the Cullen property! They’re never seeing each other again.”

“No.”

Everyone swung around to look at me, and I caught a look of myself in the mirror over the console table - I didn’t look like myself at all. My expression was hard and mutinous. My voice was stern and flat. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. I can only work through the visions I’ve had. But you cannot stop Jasper Cullen and I from seeing each other,” I said in that same, flat tone. There was a tight feeling in my chest, and all I could think of was that look of naked hope on Jasper Cullen’s face when I protested his brother’s roughness. His voice telling his alpha or father or whatever that I was his. He was also mine. 

Freddie was looking at me in horror, and even Harry was looking a little worried. 

“Alice…” Charlie sounded pained, and Billy had taken to gulping at coffee that he looked like he wanted to throw on me. 

“Better a chaperoned meeting than him climbing in her bedroom window, or running away with her,” Harry muttered and Freddie choked. 

“I promise that I will obey whatever guidelines I am given,” I said carefully. “I won’t hide any relevant information from the Council, or put anyone in unnecessary danger. I don’t know what this is, but I do know that meeting Jasper Cullen was inevitable. I’ve Seen him before.”

I think Sue chose that moment to remember my vision about the gurney, as she turned grey, then red, and then looked like she needed something stronger than coffee. 

“Do you know what happens if you don’t see him again?” Charlie asked.

“No, I don’t. And I don’t want to,” I said frankly. 

Freddie sat on the couch, looking exhausted.

“Someone’s going to need to make decisions for Alice in the Council,” Sue said finally. “Freddie, you’re our Mediator. You can’t be objective if you’ve got Alice to worry about. None of us can do it. And none of the Cullens can do it. We’re all compromised.”

“Ask Dulcie,” I said and everyone looked at me. “She’s been here for years, I think she deserves to be read-in. She can be my guardian ad litem in the Council, and she’d finally understand some of the weirder stuff that goes on around here. Like the limb-bucket.”

Charlie winced at the reminder of that particular incident. 

Freddie sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Dulcie’s not a bad choice,” he admitted. 

“Plus, now you’ll have to marry her,” I said cheerfully. “Now, I’m going to bed, so you can finish talking about me without me.” And with that, I headed back upstairs for a hot shower and some sleep. 

[x-is-bored]

I've neen thinking a lot about Steven Universe lately, so if you don't want to see any of that just keep on scrolling (This drags on for quite a while)

So what I'm about to type is mostly about Lapis and Peridot and their whole dynamic because I saw something that I can not stop thinking about. I was scrolling through TikTok (a horrible mistake I now realize) and I saw a Lapis and Peridot edit, and it wasn't bad, but the description of the video really got me thinking. It said that they (the original poster) couldn't believe that The Crystal Gems would leave Peridot in "an isolated area" with Lapis, who "hated her guts just a few seconds ago and then abruptly became all blushy" and that their relationship wasn't healthy because there was a "Power Dynamic" and Peridot apparently respects gems that have a higher authority then her on Homeworld (the example they used was the episode with Amethyst during Peri's big character arc). Now, for what ever reason, I have not been able to stop thinking about this and coming up with rebuttals to it in my head, so I thought why not let the internet hear these thoughts of mine.

Peridot is in an isolated area and can not leave

No??????? We are shown time and time again that the barn is very easily accesible to The Crystal Gems (Ex: Steven warping to the barn to stop Lapis from breaking Peridot's tablet when she thinks Steven is trapped inside of it) and we are also shown that Peridot is fully capable of using the warps (Ex: Beta). According to Peridot's Twitter she is fully aware of what a car is (Presumabley because she was hit by one). Now this seems like a very odd and random detail to bring up, until you realize there is likely no roads for miles at the barn, so she was in a situation where she was on a road away from the barn. Also, in the episode Too Short to Ride, the first shot is Peridot in Steven's house, without Lapis, So the idea that Peridot is trapped with our favorite water themed gem is just flat out wrong. Peridot also has full agency over her life and where she chooses live, if she wants to not be around Lapis she has the full ability to do so, but she doesn't, she wants to live with her in the barn. The show has told us multiple times now that she is very quick to assume that something is "a weapon" or out to get her in some way so if she feels safe, it's 90% likely that she is. Also the gems aren't stupid, if they feel like something will go wrong or that there is a problem they'll try their best to help both Lapis and Peridot in their whole Barnmate situation.

2. Lapis hated Peridot's guts a few seconds ago and is now all blushy

Now admittedly, yes it does appear like that with absolutley zero context of who Lapis is as a character. This is the kind of opinion someone would have if they turned on their TV while this episode was airing, watched the bit where Peridot is trying to win Lapis' affection, went to the bathroom after Lapis broke Peri's tape recorder and came back after Steven talked with Lapis. The reason Lapis asks Peridot "Are you okay?" isn't because she's some unstable gem that is constantlly flip-flopping between love and hate, she's trying to do what Steven asked her to do, get to know the Peridot that Steven knows, not the one Lapis met. ALSO she has an absolutley justifiable reason to "hate her guts". Lapis has spent thousands of years trapped in a mirror being used as some kind of informant, and then left alone and discarded, not able to move or do anything, the only thing she could do was watch the stars move. And when she's finally free and tries to fly back to her Homeworld she is taken captive AGAIN and used as an informant AGAIN. And after their plan goes awry, the other gem who kidnapped her fuses with her to harm the one person she actually cares about on this lousy gem-forsaken planet. And so, in a moment of deep panic and hurt she traps both her and her captor at the bottom of the ocean because she feels like if she doesn't, Steven will get hurt. And after months and months of back and forth in a horrifically damagingand draining power struggle, she's finally free and ready to live a life on Earth with Steven, and then all of a sudden your current best friend (the child) says that you're going to be living with one of the two gems who dragged you back to the planet you so desperatley tried to escape from? I'd be pretty peeved too. Lapis is a very emotional gem, she blushes at Peridot's smile because A: It's adorable, and B: She just realized that she asked if Peridot was okay and is embarassed that Peridot knows that she, in some level, for Steven's sake, is starting to care about Peridot. She isn't some unstable danger to everyone around her who's an irredeemable monster, she's a deeply traumatized PTSD ridden being who has made mistakes before, but is trying her best to find a little comfort in the life she's choosing to live.

3. Peridot has high respect for gems that are deemed higher then her by Homeworld standards and is in an unhealthy power dynamic with Lapis

The specific quote from the description is as follows "I swear, people forget the power dynamic these two have, Lapis is a high ranking gem, and we know how Peridot gets around people she deem as higher ranking (cough cough amethyst)". I have been trying to be as kind as possible while dissecting this description, if I let my emotions get in the way of the genuine facts this essay will become an all caps angry ramble session. But this is the stupidest thing I have ever read. Sure, in the episode Too Far (the episode the original poster is referring to with the Amethyst comment) and through most of her arc, Peridot is shown to have preexisting prejudices about gems and their values. And we do know for a fact that back on Homeworld Peridot's were deemed lower then Lapis Lazuli's, but this person is implying that the reason that Peridot is trying to impress Amethyst is because she's "Higher Ranking" back on Homeworld, when that simply isn't the case. She's trying to become Amethyst's friend, she thinks she's cool and has a genuine apprectiation for her. All too often I see people state that Peridot "is afraid of Lapis" when she isn't, she's trying her best to be considerate to her friend and Barnmate. During the time period when "Barnmates" takes place, Peridot has nearly fully wrapped up her character arc. She no longer has respect for someone just because of how highly they may be ranked on some stupid arbitrary ranking system, and there is one episode that perfectly demonstrates that fact. Season Two, Episode 24, "Message Recieved". In this episode Peridot has a direct line to Yellow Diamond, one of the four three Dictators of the planet and society she comes from, quite literally the top of the top. And when Peridot is directly speaking to her she gets into an argument with Yellow over the fate of the Earth, this all bubbles up to this exchange. Yellow Diamond: "What do you know about the Earth!?" Peridot: "Apparently more than you, you CLOD!" This one insult marks the completion of Peridot's character arc, she would never have even thought about saying this to Jasper when they first got to the Earth (who, by the way wasn't even higher ranking then her on their specific mission, she was an escort to Peridot). Now she's yelling at the Luminous Yellow Diamond and calling her a clod. Peridot could not care less about how high a gem may be ranked back on Homeworld. The statement from the description suggests that Peridot's whole arc never even happened, she's just a nice little green triangle who is constantly walking around eggshells when talking to literally anyone. Peridot is not trapped in some unhealthy relationship with a gem she can't escape from. She has a new found lease on life and wants to be friends with someone who she deems to be underestimating and assuming the worst of her. Lapis isn't some terrible abusive monster who is tricking the crystal gems into leaving her alone with Peridot. She now has no need to be scared and is ready to attempt a genuine connection with someone else, they've both done bad things in the past, but they're ready to move past those things to become better.

In conclusion, they are silly, great, and lovable. The end.

[baronmpontmercy]

ooohhhh alone for sacha & break for demi? :333

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

For Alexander, introvert verging on loner that he is, 'alone' has two separate definitions. One is in the most literal sense when he's just by himself, of his own accord, in the knowledge that he can stop being alone. And it's this kind of alone that he finds freeing. Times like this are when he's more likely to do things like playing his harp or fife (he's far too self conscious as a musician to really do it around anyone else unless he really really trusts them). He uses those times to recharge the social battery, which is essential to him as someone who has to literally turn on the charm when out and about.

Alone in the context being truly alone, with no one there for him and no one to turn to, is something he's terrified of. He's experienced it before, as a child, and in the worst of his previous relationship. He hates being lonely, hates the isolation of it. He is a person who hates being helpless, and he never feels more helpless than being completely alone. Or even feeling completely alone. And honestly, he's not good at dealing with loneliness, because one of his defense mechanisms is to retreat deeper into himself, which only exacerbates it all. It's a vicious circle that someone will need to give a physical helping hand to get him out of.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

In both his iterations (i.e DnD proper and BG3), Amadeus has moments of complete breakdown. In his DnD lore, it's directly after his fall as an aasimar (I think finding out you are celestial and a demigod through a dramatic fall from grace and your celestial parent essentially telling you to fuck off will do that). It's not pretty, he's an absolute mess during and after, because he's at the foot of the mountain and it's going to be a long arduous climb before anything even starts to get better for him, but he's going to do it all the same. It was like an epiphany for him, a sudden sharp hit of guilt, and grief, and the knowledge that he wants to be better and has consistently failed himself and those around him. One who did see him was the goddess he swore himself to, Strix, and out of the grief and the anger and disgust from himself was born his drive for redemption and thus, his paladin oath.

the bg3 side is a bit nebulous at the moment because I'm still early days durge lore, but my co-player and thus co-writer in our playthrough and I have planned a moment for him much later on in the story, and it surrounds fragments of memories coming back, and the realisation that he was an active, instrumental part in the destruction of his (elven) family, and that even though those who survived still have love for him they will never truly forgive him for it, even with a paladin's grace and redemption arc.

[housano]

Housano's Live-A-Half Assed Summaries Presents: Welcome to the Black Masquerade Part 1: The setup to the set up

CW: Spoilers

So let's jump right into what stunts shows and shenanigans MC finds himself/herself/themself into

We start the frame story of this event being framed for a robbery and being interrogated about stealing an extremely important treasure, but we know better than to speak to cops without a lawyer present

And sure enough our lawyer, Astosis, to make sure due process is followed unless they want his fists processed into their face. He asks our MC to recap all the events that led up to current point

We start our event returning from a success mission sale. While MC, Akashi, Mokdai, Sui and Meride talking about their work and plans before Huckle comes in depressed, and for once it doesn't involve the Ryekie breaking the broken monitor quota. Rather he asks both Meride and us about a certain request. The requestor is also a Hero at the local level and is requesting an Operator for security assistance. This would be a relatively normal request, but where the issue comes from is the planet is 1) An on site request that can only be fulfilled by Operators like our MC and Meride 2) extremely far way 3) the planet itself has only recently opened up to interstellar communication and access is still highly restricted. This is extremely high risk in Huckle's eyes, but all other agencies rejected their offer and they came back to us and Huckle wanted to gauge our interest. I mean, we dealt whatever the hell Exio was doing last Main Chapter, and nothing could be worse than that (for now), so we accepted the offer. Consider the length of time required for the mission, only our MC could accept it

Akashi wants to come because this means the hot springs trip was cancelled (sorry Akashi) but Huckle counters and mentions this will take place over several weekday and asks him how this would affect his university studies. This in turn summons the spirit of a tsundere whom Akashi realized it would be best for him to stay. We learn we will be going to the Sunflower Galaxy to a town called Cloges which IMMEDIATELY catches the attention of Maculata. Cloges designs are highly intricate and unique given how isolated the town and planet is and as a fashion mogul, she must be on the trip, so she coerces convinces Huckle to let her be the Hero for this trip (pity she couldn't use that influence to get an alt for this event). With that said, Maculata cancels her vacations and tells Sui she'll bring back data as a souvenir.

So we get a bit of backstory on Cloge. The translation may be off, but according to Maculata, the star of Cloge is more like a moon and once a year, the planet is able to see it and each year it goes through the waxing and waning phases and they celebrate each in a festival they call Luna. The emaculate dresses that she was referencing early are called Pauderna and will be displayed at the Masquerade ball we will be providing security for. The other reason she was hellbent is this event is not open to the public so this gives her full access to look at all the details of the dress since we are part of security.

We are greeted at the airport terminal by the Perfect Man Does Exist, Astosis, who was the person who requested our assistance and thanks us for coming. He gives Maculata a hug and then gives us a big hug as well. I like this guy! There are also two guards with him from a vigilante organization on Cloges called Chassard which functions as sort of a Hero organization. They are standoffish and my sussy senses are tingling.

We are then greeted by the other member of our crew for this event, Yohack, who also more than happy to give us a hug. His organization is called Wanwan Locksmith and I just wanted to point how fucking adorable that is.

Astosis is surprised to see Yohack, who wanted to know why he was here. Yohack explains that the Laborer who was supposed to take this job got injured and-

Me:OMG PUBRA CHAN I'M COMING BABY!

...wait, it's not Pubra? It's Hisaki who was injured?

*ahem* Random nonrelevant, noncanon tangents aside, Wassard accepted Yohack's replacement without alerting Astosis. However, Astosis and Yohack are both childhood friends, so we're all good. With all the introductions out of the way, we end this chapter with Astosis requesting we hang onto the Pauderna directly.

Welcome to the Black Masquerade Part 1- My name is MC and I like warm hugs-END

For Part 2, click here

[khaosinfo]

the boys of the love house . named mockingly by the students of the elysian field university because every student who has lived there has become corrupted, five students has decided to move in to test this wild rumor. yes, that is the reason. definitely not because student housing is very limited.

eric chase.

faceclaim: danny griffin.

taking up biology, with plans on becoming a doctor.

versatile. he will be a bit uptight going into it, but push the right buttons or get him drunk enough, and he will be your little submissive slut.

eric is a brash control freak who thinks that the world will end if things doesn't go his way. which is sorta understandable once you find out about the high expectations put upon him by his mother since his birth. anthony keeps him in check, much to the relief of their other house members ... and eric's annoyance.

anthony kyle.

faceclaim: gavin leatherwood.

taking up film, with dreams of being the next big movie maker.

would prefer to bottom. but he will top you if you can convince him enough.

anthony is very breezy and friendly, though he can be a bit sassy and sarcastic if you are close enough. which is why it surprises people that he is eric's step-brother. but anthony has attributed his easier personality to his mother ( his real mother, not eric's ) who grew up with a free and artistic heart. he didn't really choose to be his brother's official babysitter. but no one else knows him enough to do it.

hunter heaton.

faceclaim: nico greetham.

taking up fine arts, with dreams of making the best masterpiece.

bottom. non-negotiable. the biggest slut you will ever know.

what's there to not know about hunter heaton? if he tells you that he is an open book, you better believe it's true. because everyone in this goddamn university knows who is he, what he is ... and what could get him to kneel in front of you. "the song of the flesh," he calls it. i would say there is an interesting backstory behind this promiscuous personality ... and you might be right. but that's a story for another day.

harley heaton.

faceclaim: tom holland.

taking up anthropology, with dreams of exploring the world.

versatile. will be happy to be whatever you want him to be. his partner's satisfaction is always a priority.

harley is a lot like his brother, hunter, in some ways, with some saying he's lucky he didn't get the same promiscuity ( haha ). where his brother is an open book, harley is open arms. a friend to everyone, harley has this uncanny ability to charm everyone to his side. many has tried to crack the code of his endearing personality, but no one has truly cracked it. he is just a naturally friendly guy!

henry heaton.

faceclaim: kit connor

taking up creative writing, with dreams of becoming a well-known writer

bottom. his sexual experience is little in comparison to his brothers, but it's in his nature to obey and be eager to learn.

being the youngest of the heaton siblings, henry has always felt like he's playing catch up with his older siblings. always afraid of being left out, always afraid of not being as good as they are. but he is hoping that this would finally change once he is in university. he can finally make someone of himself without being in their shadows.

patrick moreno.

faceclaim: froy gutierrez.

taking up psychology, with dreams of helping people.

versatile. sexual encounters with him requires a certain level of passion and trust. but he will be the best lover you will ever know.

living with four other people who are already related to one another, patrick expected that he will be the odd one out in the house ... which isn't really a bad thing since he likes the quiet and the isolation. but apparently this is a bad thing, according to his housemates, and they have made it their mission to get him outside.

sebastian "bash" harrison.

faceclaim: michael evans behling

taking up music, with dreams of playing for the world.

versatile. his love language is acts of service, and this extends to having sex with him. he will happily fulfill all your wants.

a dear friend of the chase-kyle family, it's quite obvious their impact is on him-- carrying the personality akin to anthony's laid back and friendly attitude, while carrying just as much pressure as eric from his own parents. and the fact that he took up music instead of law like they said, doesn't really help him at all. still, he remains just a chill dude who wants to play music, hoping someday he could do it to a crowd of thousands one day.

[kyrodo]

I am welcome now among lupy's friends. Almost effortlessly even. I make so easy something that used to be impossible in the past: Making friends through people who are social hubs. Like Choskey. Like Lupy. Like what Ronnie would have also been in the past. Granted the double stalking thing is a challenge in of itself that I care not to tackle again.

And it is from this I am able to make one connection about me, I am drawn towards people that everybody seemingly likes. Enternode, Vera, and Lawrence also share a similar role as Ronnie. They are cornerstones of a social group. They know a ton of people and besides Lawrence afaik have their own servers. Though Lawrence definitely is one as well. There's always the promise that I would make more friends through someone than just them. Even Red and Kara were the same way.

The only exception to that rule was Kaybat. But she was overtly lonely for a long time after Mew left, and she has a direct family connection to the first settlers of a mountain a lot of people know about. There's always something though that magnetizes me towards people. It is my very social ineptitude that attracts me most towards people that might help me through that weakness.

Red used to

Red is the most classic example, being the one that introduced me to the very furry fandom and the first friends I made in it. Now but a socially withdrawn and overly reserved husk of what he used to be. Lack of shared activity both socially, recreatively, and even intimately perhaps drifted me away a bit. As a mate Red will take very good care of you, look out for you, pamper you, and early on he even used to give me public speaking exercises randomly, telling me to pick a topic and talk about it for a few minutes straight.

The problem is Red stretches himself thin on his family and work the most, and any leftover energy on rp friends. There's little room for much else. He is glued to his work no matter where he's working. So Red's social battery runs down quickly, and then if I continued to rely on him for social connection like I used to I would have been heavily socially isolated. There's also the migraines that mood change him suddenly, adhd that heavily delays any activities we would have done, and depression that will randomly decide we're not going to do whatever we had planned. And certain environments I'm drawn to like furry raves he can only last 10 minutes before he needs a change of scenery.

I crave social connections. I crave the fluidity of an extravert but often lack the skills to do so. So any time that I can feel like one makes me extremely happy. So whether it is having a good time with a group of friends or more deeply on a one to one basis like with Lupy or Choskey, that's what makes me happy the most. I want to know a lot of people, and I want to be close to the people I find cool or easy to connect with.

There are ways I can go about it that will give the wrong impression, like through falling in love or stalking on Twitter, and then there are ways that I can be very successful at it without anything problematic or awkward for anyone.

I am very mindful now about what vibes I give off, I'm a lot more hands off than I used to be back in 2020. I just kinda let things happen, I'm never explicit about wanting to be friends, or what I feel about someone until it's brought up. And I do very little to make it seem like I am heading for one thing or another. Like with Choskey. I was really happy when we were doing those mmd dances and he liked spamming the Dive to Blue one completely of his own accord. I kept my feelings well hidden, so much so that he even felt like he was the only one in love when things came to a turning point towards the end of the year, while I was making heavy social strides without him.

I never made it seem like it was possible to have a third in my relationship. I acted well in accordance to my background in order to avoid running into the same issues I did with Ronnie. I used to be very dependent on Choskey for activity, both socially and recreationally, and I almost had his time completely monopolized even, we were pretty much attached at the hip. And my efforts to stop being dependent on him after light showed up and all the times he'd run off to see carboorcat, is ultimately what got him to fall for me.

I gained a heavy amount of respect for subtlety and discretion as a result of my awful experience with Ronnie. I'm not dropping my feelings at someone's door the moment I've realized I feel something and thinking it's all gonna go my way. I'll try to spend more time with them, I'll take steps to be closer to them in ways that always seem on track with whatever is going on, but I always take small steps. And that makes a world of difference.