#i just want to talk about some stuff but i dont want anyone to be weird
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jackiespurnell · 2 days ago
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I cant think of anything different for Jackie as an ask but i would like to hear your take on her character. Maybe bless us with a character analysis???
ahhh okay!!! i have so many thoughts on her!!!! for starters, i wanna talk about why i think some ppl in the fandom hate her sm cause ive never seen anyone whos neutral on her tbh like either ur a jackie anti or a jackie stan theres no in between.
i see a lot of people using the fact that her only crime was being a teeanage girl as an argument to defend her and while i wholeheartedly believe that, i think that’s the exact reason why people dislike her. i think a natural instinct that viewers have when watching a show is to take the sides of the "heroes." people usually root for the people with the best moral code (which is why nat is so beloved, besides the fact that she's hot asf). but in a show based on survival, where morals for the most part go out the window the second everyone is stranded in the wilderness together, nobody cares if you're the realest or the more relatable. in fact, i think in a show that is based on things that are highly unlikely to happen/deals with topics outside of everyday things, you're more likely to prefer characters that aren't real. in stuff like yellowjackets, people want the batshit crazy ones. they want the cult leaders and the butchers and the psychopaths. its made very clear that jackie isnt any of these things. you dont go into a show about cannibalism and murder and survival and think of a character like jackie. 
she's not the typical final girl. shows like these make you want to root for actively seek final girls. so of course, most people aren't going to gravitate towards jackie. i think ive seen maybe two people aside from myself on tumblr who jackie is their number one character and theres a reason for that. shes simply not what most yellowjackets viewers are looking for.
also, shes just a girl trying to fit into society and doing a pretty damn good job at it, at least on the outside. i think that’s another part of the reason she has so many antis, because 99% of the people want to fit in one way or another but if you’re getting seen/treated as an outcast, of course you’re going to envy the cool, popular girl. it would be another story if she was bitchy and mean but the fact that she’s so nice probably bugs people too without them even realizing it. sorry, but it’s the truth - people hate girls who are pretty and kind. jackie is that.
now, im not saying she’s perfect whatsoever, she has several flaws, she can be super vain and demanding sometimes, and even bossy, although i do believe a lot of that comes from obliviousness and compulsory heterosexuality (which, i won’t get too into cause i feel like a lot of people have already talked about it).
now, for a character study i think her defining trait is her popularity which is insanely sad, but also, its true. you see that she only knows how to be a cool, popular high schooler and the second all that doesn’t matter anymore, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. there’s a mitski songs with the lyrics “if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn’t know how to be alive” and i think that describes her perfectly. in a time and society where everyone has a public and a private side, and i think spent so long crafting ‘public jackie’ that she forgot how to be ‘private jackie.’ she spent so long trying to be a pretty girl that she forgot how to be just a girl.
i also think a reason that she was so kind to misty - outside of her just being a kind person - is the fact that jackie saw herself in misty. while i don’t think jackie was ever unpopular, i don’t personally believe that was always as cool and charismatic and we see her in high school. i think she was always charming to a certain extent, but i truly think entering high school she went the extra mile to become beloved and popular. misty was trying to do the same thing as jackie, she was trying so hard, and as much as i love misty, she was failing. jackie felt bad for her because she knew, not so long ago, she was kind of similar to her. jackie was also trying too hard. i saw an ella purnell interview where she said that sometimes she (ella) forgot she was a person, instead of a brand and i believe jackie resonates with that. she forgot she was a person, not just a popular girl.
she forgot who she actually was outside the makeup and the smiles and the perfect girl persona so much so that when the plane crashed, she didn’t know how to be. because while the other girls slipped out of their public image, jackie didn’t know who she was outside of her public image.
it got so bad that i don’t even think shauna truly loved her. shauna, who just wanted what was best for her best friend. shauna, who never really wanted jackie to die. shauna never really loved her, because shauna never really knew her. we see loads of bunnies around adult shauna’s house, when in reality, we know jackie hated bunnies. even shauna only saw the idea of jackie that she showed people, and that’s not shauna’s fault by any means, but it just goes to show that jackie never really let anyone in.
i think the most tragic thing about jackie by far, is that, ultimately, she just wanted to be loved. and she thought that by putting on this whole facade of having her life together and being the cool, hot soccer captain, people would appreciate and love her. but she mistaked being loved for being admired. and, as sad as it is, i think jackie died without anybody truly loving the real her.
tysm for the ask @yourlocalsaiko
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void1finder · 2 days ago
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Hey @salemlunaa or anyone else reading this post i have like a genuine question.
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So what you said basically implied that
1) my friend gets into the void
2) they manifest for me
3) but it won't happen for me , but it will happen to them because "they shift into a reality where i manifest easily"
So for example it happens that my friend enters the void and they manifest for me. So for them i can easily enter the void and stuff but according to you it's not possible right
But how can they talk to me then, if they are in a new reality ?
Like how can they talk and communicate to a person who has not manifested even though in their reality they have.
(Side note i know it's kinda confusing what i am saying but bear with me)
I mean that lets say someone named Emma gets into the void and she helps her friend Maya.
But according to what you are saying that : "if a person tries to manifest for you they will shift into a reality where you have done it"
So you meant to say that maya gets nothing while emma has manifested for her?
How can it be possible that for Emma , maya has successfully manifested while for maya, Emma has manifested and she(maya) herself has not?
And literally every damn person in this community says that "anything is possible" Then why isn't manifesting for someone else possible?
And also i have seen that even in many void success stories people have manifested for others and it's not even just about the void if you see some subliminal results people have actually manifested stuff for their friends and stuff.
Also you guys were also into some chat gpt stuff so here is what AI said :
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Also in the sense of manifesting i just don't refer to manifesting entering the void , a hell lot of other stuff too!
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"Manifestation is not big or small"
Here are some proofs that manifestation for others is possible.
And even if you see in some tumblr sucess stories , people have manifested for others.
See in many "sucess stories" People have said that they have manifested their parents being rich, and good self concept for mom Or sister or something or maybe manifesting friends tumor away or stuff like that, i dont want to dive into the fact if those sucess stories are true or not what whatever you get the point right!
Also to those beautiful people from the void state pact DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.
Manifestation is 100% possible so yeah keep going!
Besides ik our belief system are not the same but sorry not sorry , no one has to be rude and say "oh your idea is stupid" hell nah dude it's not.
Until next time 🫡
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shippyo · 1 day ago
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Here are my silly bibble aa response ,not mad either by the way,i feel your response interesting actually so ill explain more u my points:
- I have used Metagala as a mere example/comparison of what would be "a toxic origin for a ship" and that people love it just the same because it doesn't matter, after all, people have fun and you don't have to think about it, the same with metasusie, people who enjoy the ship know what's there and what's not, but it's not worth thinking about anything more fishy or weird stuff ,obviously there's nothing wrong with Metagala by the way, it's just that, if we get nickpicky about how "clean" a ship's origin is in order to "be able to be shipped" then as an example Metagala would also be a bad ship and it's one with a certain popularity, which is absurd because it has no relation, the ship is not bad because the origin or the characters have a toxic origin or bad actions, I don't know if my explanation is better understood this way
With the other characters I wasn't talking about other specific ships but rather, many characters from the franchise, not to say almost all of them who are friends of Kirby has done bad things, Susie included, but it just so happens that these are so loved and then she, well... No, when many of these have made reprehensible things, example of MK again, which seems silly to me too because in the end, then you couldn't ship anyone because "how bad all the characters are, it doesn't make sense" just like being nickpicky on whether a character has interacted more or not with x, a ship is to enjoy not to overthink that much on how you wanna make it work unless you want to add your lore or stuff on it.
- And that's precisely it, it's a very toxic way of bringing up the fandom, it's a way of pointing out the ship itself and treating it like something bad when it's not, no matter how much you want to overthink it.
You surely dont know but,in the past, there have been not only crazy discussions to the point of harassing people who liked the ship, obviously you DON'T want that, but bringing back these discussions doesn't help the fandom and only makes it toxic or prone to discussions that are unnecessary, because in fact, it's horrible to see/cathegorize a ship in such way, is like I don't know how to say it...., to vandalize it by putting it in such a horrible category when literally from what I always see, everyone does nice or funny things like any other ship? Surely there are some awful people, but that always happened with any ship in any fandom not exclusive with this one.
- What was already said in the text, people don't owe you an explanation, why do you ship what you like? Because you like it, you don't have to make a text to explain it to do it, you like it and that's it.
People don't ignore canon, they know canon, what they like is making Susie and exploring her character and meta knight too and how they relate to each other after those events, in a more redeemed way or not, but that's it, ur getting upset over nothing when the answer is simply because they want to and that's it, you worry a lot about something that's not going to bring you any benefit when you could be enjoying what you really like XD
- And you misinterpret it because saying that Robobot is about colonization and capitalism is a very vague way of talking about the real story it has when it's not its center nor does it have to do with the story as a focus.
The story of Susie's father and her, how a bad action caused by technology to search for something bigger in Star dream made Haltmann lose the most loved, his daughter being Susie, Susie is a victim of her father and technology and Haltmann in search of what he loved most became corrupted and went crazy to the point of not being able to recognize even his daughter when he finally has her in front of him, being represented by the corruption of capitalism and how rotten it is and how such actions harm others who never had to do with that conflict,capitalistim and the harm that it produces to the enviroment and its citicens are an addition to the story not the real focus.
Susie is NOT a villain, nor did she formulate the invasion, that was her father because he went from planet to planet doing that and Susie simply played the role of 'secretary', after all she does not have a magic power or anything to deal with being mechanized.
Does that make Susie an angel? No, of course not, but she is a redeemable character who has done bad things like any other,like hecc even in official comics of the planet robobot if you search for those the creators make susie an actual goober with some silly traits because thats what she really is
Guys, I really need to rant about Metasusie rn. Like, I don't dislike thoses who ship it, but I have such an absolutly visceral hatred for the ship itself my hands are literally trembling right now. If you dont wanna hear me rambling about how much I hate it, then just pass. Chances are I won't be very polite and organised.
So as time progresses I keep seeing more Metasusie. I feel like now's a great time to remind people why this ship is so controversial in the first place by explaining why I and so many others dislike it. Here I go...
Okay. First off. Why the heck would you ship two characters if the only thing we know ever happened beetween them is one of them at the very least ordering (possibly more) the other to be captured, modified and enslaved against his will, and the others time we see thgem together, he literally can't interact of his own because of that, while she is either about to force him to exterminate his own friend, or she is straight up presenting him like he's a non sentient toy she's about to sell ??? Along with fact that Susie calls MK an it in the second cutscene , and that the only time we ever see them interact in game (albeit possibly not canon) is him running away from her, and her chasing him ?! The fact that some people wiew that as a cool starter to a ramantic relationship is is worrying to me.
I feel like some people ship Metasusie out of spite, if that makes sense. They see a ship that's hated on a lot and they want to play devil's advocate. I understand, really (my own "devil" has black, torn off wings) . But even then you still have to consider what makes the devil hated in the first place. There's a lot of wrong in this ship you just can't ignore.
Most of the fans ship them for natural reasons ; because they look cute together, or because of their common points, and they usually just ignore the implications it has. This is understandable, again, but, if you want to ship those two in a cute way, you have to staight up rip away all the unethical stuff. To do that, you have to undermine Susie's terrible actions (or pretend it never happened), to make her cute, to ignore her character. In other words, you have to woobify her. For Meta Knight, it's no less bad, because he's a victim of mechanisation, like many others, and implying it was'nt that important is just kinda dumb (If that was the case, why would the Haltman company be the game's villains anyways ?) . When I say you can't ship those two in that way, I mean that you have to either mischaracterize them heavily, or retcon what happened beetween them to make it work.
That, or they're sometimes homophobes who want to latch on the first heterosexual ship they see. They make those two stereotypical depiction of both genders. Those, are the absolute worse, for obvious reasons, and albeit they're not the only ones who turn Meta Knight and Susie into people they're not, they always do it in the worst possible way : making MK a strong, masculine knight character who can't feel pain and Susie a cute, feminine and smart scientist who needs to be protected and can do no wrong, so the pink character and the blue character are the most gratingly stereotypic ship to ever exist. I see it often, wether intentional or not. It's so wrong and sexist in both way and is probably the worst iteration of the ship to ever exist. Men can feel pain and have trauma, and women can do fucked up things for fucked reason and be fucked up.
This ship has yet another infortunate message. The Haltmans are obviously a metaphor for colonialists. A colonialist having romantic relationship with a person who was colonised, is basically what this ship is. And if you know the slightest bit about that in history, you've probably understood why I feel so icky about this ship, knowing this is a possible comparison.
There's also those who ship one sided, fucked up Metasusie. This is maybe the one of the two only ways to ship those two without mischaracterisation, and the only one I actally like. Not only because I love angst, but also because it actually acknowledges that the slavery, the kidnapping, the mind control, the colonisation, all of that, is fucked up, and that it should'nt be a relationship. (My own interpretation of this, if it interest you, is that Susie has such horrible trauma with her father that she does'nt know what a healthy relationship is anymore. In the absence of her father, she goes to the only person she has a speck of admiration for, and thinks it's love. In her skewed idea of love, the partner has to follow blindly what she says and constantly be under her control, so when he resists, she just think he needs to be "tamed" more. Meanwhile, MK is traumatised and just wants to escape. Eventually she learns that it's more coping than loving and leaves him alone.)
Altough. Some of those people treat the ship, in its unhealthy form, as a good thing. To them Soos and MK are inhuman people who love by hating. But like, unheatlthy relationships are not a good thing. I only like toxic Metasusie if it's treated as a bad thing.
Finally, some shippers actually give both Susie and Meta Knight character arcs, where she comes to understand she is wrong and he learns how to forgive her/cope with his trauma. Not my cup of tea, but honestly, that's based. Altough I like it (moderatly), I just don't understand why you'd ship that over stuff like Metadedede, where the characters have an at least friendly relation in canon.
That was long, but in the end, if I can't understand fully why it's shipped, I can stand Metasusie if it acknowledge both character's flaws and and Susie's terrible actions. It does'nt happen often however, as most instances I see are sadly just idealised, woobified, mischaracterised versions of them randomly loving eachother without context. I won't (and can't) stop people from shipping them that way, but I'll keep being against it.
Wow, after this, I actually kinda feel better. I ended up being more polite than I thought, too. I guess I needed to get this out of my chest somehow...
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turnaboutstar · 10 months ago
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autistic people when there's collectable things with tv shows with multiple generations of them:
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starscream-is-my-wife · 4 days ago
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A way too serious reading on Fire in the Sky focusing on Skyfire
The first impression we have of Skyfire is Starscreams vision of him. He says they were close friends before the war. Skyfire is portrayed as a representation of innocence, he is the last cybertronian to know what life was like before the war, and untouched by the horrors of it. When the actual Skyfire is revived, he is in the future in the middle of a war, where for him, he was just a while ago he was a civilian scientist. He knows that this isn’t Cybertron, subconsciously or not, he is essentially trapped with the Decepticons, and with Starscream, who despite saying they are close friends, Skyfire treats Starscream more like an acquaintance. However, Starscream is the only thing that he has left from his old life, so he would naturally stick with him
 It doesn’t take long for Starscream to establish control over Skyfire. Starscream who not only has a ranking superiority over Skyfire, but in life experience. He is 5 million years older, most of which was spent as a warrior, and as the second in command. He tells him that he will make Skyfire his second in command once he takes over. Skyfire thanks him, telling him that he will give Starscream credit. It makes you wonder if this is what their relationship was like before the war, if Starscream believes that being close friends means that someone is willing to be subservient to you.
Then his first encounter with the Autobots. This is where Skyfire is alone, and you can see his actual personality, albeit still under the manipulations of the Decepticons. They engage in combat but stop when Spike and Sparkplug are in danger. When Skyfire goes over to help them, he speaks very softly for the first time since his reactivation. A gentleness for organisms that shows his true calling as a scientist. He then tells them the lies that he was told, showing he does genuinely believe in what Megatron and Starscream told him, like he looks up to his superiors.
So, when Skyfire raises a protest to the treatment of the humans, Megatron warns him that he’s stepping out of line, but it was Starscream who tightens his leash. not hesitating to shoot his hand as a punishment. Starscream should know how Skyfire should love organics, but maybe he saw this as an opportunity to taint Skyfire even more. Skyfire was shocked but not to Starscream shooting him, but to why they wanted to harm the humans. He does not question being shot by Starscream at all, filling in a picture of them before the war even more. Skyfire had also said that these humans were his friends, despite most of their very brief meetings being the humans terrified of him. This also makes you think if Skyfire before had any real friends other then Starscream.
When cornering a group of Autobots, Starscream said that the years under the ice had diminished his loyalty coefficient. And once again you wonder, ‘how did Starscream treat Skyfire before??’
Even after acknowledging their old friendship, the moment Skyfire refuses Starscream, he once again, does not hesitate to shoot Skyfire for being ‘wrong’, the Autobots look on in horror for Skyfire, Ratchet and Hound even saying something about it before getting destroyed -in Skyfires eyes- by Starscream, who steps on him before walking off. Another display of establishing his control. In the very short time that he’s been reactivated, Starscream has already shot Skyfire twice for miniscule ‘mistakes’ and Skyfire doesn’t even question why he was punished so harshly by being shot, only thinking of others.
Ratchet fixes up Skyfire the best he can after revealing that they are functioning they get interrupted by Starscream who orders his trine to fire at will at the Autobots, not caring that they were fixing up Skyfire. Ratchet doesn’t leave Skyfires side, tugging at his hand and saying ‘I won’t leave you here’ before getting shot. Skyfire stirs, this is probably the kindest anyone has been to him after being frozen and losing everything he knows.
Skyfire does join the battle, on the side of the Autobots, finally seeing a way out from the Decepticon grasp, and literally throws Megatron away. He ends up fighting Starscream, who only a little while ago had such a positive view of Skyfire, is now willing to kill him permanently. It’s almost like he would rather have Skyfire dead then have a Skyfire who is alive, but does not fit the loyal subservient imaginary image he has of him in his mind.
Starscream has far more experience in battle and although they both crash, Starscream will show up next episode, totally fine. However for Skyfire, in his final moments, fires a blast to bury the crystals, and himself to save his new friends. Perhaps that’s all he knows, instead of landing safely, he did everything he could to be useful to the very end. But in doing this he found freedom from Starscream, in death.
(until he gets revived)
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reel-fear · 8 months ago
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
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5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
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Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
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7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
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He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
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So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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moopbox · 7 days ago
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do u ever feel alive but not...
like ur body is alright n stuff but ur mind...isn't... I don't FEEL alive... its like I'm distant from me... I'm not here... I can feel my limbs I can feel the blood going through me I can feel everything that I've ever hurt.. I can breathe...I can see.. i can write these words down....but I'm just not. just not here my head is fuzzy,parts of me hurt..idk..
more in tags...
#moop talks#vent#Vent tw#I don't even know at this point#This isn't poetry or anything it's just what I feel rn.. I don't like that#I never really few alive anymore.. I keep going because death = bad and scary and my parents won't like me dead#It all boils down to being about surviving the day... nothing else... I feel good I feel bad.. but nothing changes#I don't want to live i don't want to die... I just sometimes wish I just wasn't there#Then nobody would love me and nobody would know me and nobody would need me and I wouldn't disappoint anyone#I'm just some meat puppet to a weird chemical reaction and I'm forced to know about that.. I'm forced to watch myself age and get sick..#I'll eventually rot and die.. not contributing anything in a way that matters... I'm repulsed by sex.. so likely no offspring#And IF I EVEN did have kids they'd inherent my families eyesight and diabetes risc and possibly anxiety and whatever my dad and grandma hav#Come to think of it.. I'm screwed when my parents eventually die and I'm forced to fend for myself... what do I even do other than“draw gud#AND I DONT EVEN DRAW GOOD ENOUGH TO GET ANYWHERE WORTHWHILE#I shouldn't even feel like this... I have parents.. I have a roof above my head.. I have the stuff needed to live ok.. Im not even 16 yet .#People out there are dieing and fuckin MOOPSIE over here is sulking about “feeling bad :( ”#I wish I could get therapy tbh... but I don’t think I'd be able to convince my parents without saying too much#I wish I could just be normal and feel ok and survive till adulthood than have sex and offspring than die feeling ok
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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uzukali · 3 months ago
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Yknow, pvp civ is actually pretty damn good when evbo isn't making meta/fourth wall breaking jokes every minute and pissing me off
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orcelito · 3 months ago
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I've been working on Finally finishing Naruto Shippuden (after being a Naruto fan for nearly 15 years), & I just finished episode 420. And I have some THOUGHTS about the "Naruto is the reincarnation of Ashura" thing. This started as just me rambling for my normal liveblog posting, but I had a LOT of thoughts about this actually, so I am presenting them to u all Now.
So. Naruto meeting the Sage of Six Paths! Cool!!! I'm finally learning about Naruto being the reincarnation of Ashura, which... honestly is not a choice that I like very much. Narratively speaking, I mean. The Point of Naruto's journey was that he was the underdog, the bottom of his class, the orphan that everyone hated and made fun of. Through hard work and perseverance, he managed to drag himself from being a complete social outcast to someone generally really loved and respected. That's compelling!!! It means a lot!!!
But then the show is like. "Oh...actually, he's the son of the fourth hokage. And Also, he's the reincarnation of the son of the literal creator of ninshuu aka the precursor of modern ninjutsu." I mind him being Minato's son less as a narrative choice (for reasons I will get into shortly), but making him Ashura's reincarnation?? I've got Several things that bug me about that.
So First, for him being Minato's son. It's not like that's ever Actually given him any sort of status (since most people don't know), & Minato was also kind of just a random guy?? Just incredibly skilled, enough so to become the 4th hokage. And then there's also Kushina, descended from a very successful and very Feared clan that ended up almost entirely killed bc of that fear. Naruto being an Uzumaki means great power, huge chakra reserves (not even including the extra chakra he gets from Kurama), & some innate skills (that Naruto mostly didn't inherit, but one can play pretend sometimes). BUT ALSO, they were almost entirely killed off. He's a survivor of his clan's genocide that happened well before he was even born, and he doesn't even REALIZE it yet. So even though being Minato's son means he's the son of a very influential person, it doesn't give him the same leverage as being a Senju or Uchiha would. And the clan he Does belong to bc of Kushina does not give him status either, bc they're almost all fuckin Dead. And we know that Minato is a Namikaze, but as for what that actually *means*.... it's basically nonexistent. There is no mention of a Namikaze clan. Minato was just a prodigy in his own right.
SO.... All that is to say that while appending Naruto's orphan story with a "well, Actually, his parents were very powerful and well respected" does discount it a little bit, it's still not Especially unique in terms of what other people in their world may experience (there are other descendants of current and/or former kage + Many other powerful clans running around) OR in the benefits that it gives him (essentially nothing, outside of his physical strength and the inheritance of Kurama himself)(which inheriting Kurama did grant him access to IMMENSE power, but it also was the source of So Much of his suffering growing up, so I think it balances out).
The "reincarnation of Ashura, son of the Sage of Six Paths" thing tho... that one really kinda does. At that point, Naruto is no longer just the orphaned son of two respected shinobi & the current jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi (something special, but not entirely original, given that there are Other jinchuuriki who are descendants of powerful shinobi). He is now something that NO ONE ELSE ALIVE can be. It is saying that He, above Everyone Else, is special in this way. Outside of Sasuke lol, but I'll touch on that in a moment.
It just feels kinda cheap. It's cool I guess, but at this point it feels like we've completely lost the Plucky Orphan who works hard to overcome his circumstances plot. It's saying that he was Always one of a kind, he was Always destined to become Someone Special (or that he was, in fact, special the whole time). It removes the importance of his hard work in the equation. It makes it so that this is no longer something he earned for himself, but rather something that was a Given, since he is, of course, Ashura's reincarnation.
Cheap. It's cheap. And I don't like it.
Then we get into Sasuke being the reincarnation of Indra. Which I haven't gotten to that yet in the show, but I know from seeing it around. I do enjoy the sun and moon aesthetic between Naruto and Sasuke (so SO much, in fact), but. Making Sasuke the reincarnation of the Other son of the Sage of Six Paths is... frustrating? In several ways. There is of course the fact that Naruto and Sasuke have such extremely gay vibes (and Always Have), so making them the reincarnations of brothers so late in the story feels like an insult to anyone who reads their relationship in that way. Which to be fair, we do see Naruto mention at a few points that he thinks of Sasuke like a brother, but it's only a few points + feels like a kind of narrative cop-out. Sasuke himself said he doesn't think of Naruto in that way (though that could also be his self-denial speaking & it could change. Haven't gotten that far yet.), & I think there are much better choices for Naruto's "brother" figure (primarily Iruka, but people like Killer Bee and any of the other konoha 12 would be fitting too). Personally, it feels like Naruto was trying to put a name to his very strong feelings for Sasuke, & since he doesn't realize being gay is an option (since Kishimoto is clearly homophobic & made this ninja society to reflect that), he settled on Brother. But Sasuke is like "what the fuck? No, my only brother is Itachi." Instead, Sasuke has called Naruto his best friend. Which also doesn't fully encompass their relationship, but it's still closer than Brother.
So here we are, Kishimoto saying around 555 episodes into the plot (only 80 more to go) that they're actually the reincarnations of brothers. And not just any brothers. THE sons of the Sage of Six Paths. Incredibly influential, incredibly powerful, two sides of the same coin and very historically significant figures. Sasuke always had the "descended from an elite, yet disgraced clan" thing going for him, so in my opinion it doesn't hold the same kind of insult to his story that it does for Naruto. But it still feels like an insult to THEIR story.
Naruto and Sasuke were just two orphan boys. Their moms were best friends, but they didn't know that. They died when they were too young. But Naruto and Sasuke still gravitated towards one another. Understood each other like no one else. And got on each other's nerves like no one else. But that irritation stemmed from their genuine admiration of each other. They wanted to be able to beat each other. They became Rivals. And it was on their own terms. No one else pushed them together. Outside of them ending up on the same team, their entire relationship was fueled by their recognition of one another, Jealousy of one another, and the simple enjoyment of being around one another. They were the ones to decide the importance of their relationship. Sasuke recognizing Naruto as his closest friend & thus thinking he was the one he had to cut off to achieve power, and Naruto recognizing Sasuke as his first peer that acknowledged him, a precious bond he finally made, and thus someone he had to cling to FIERCELY. That was all them.
But here we are. They're a reincarnated set. The sun and the moon, but Officially. One could say soulmates in a way, in a non-romantic kind of context (considering the first iteration was a pair of brothers). While this is cool from a story standpoint, it really takes some significance away from their relationship to me. It makes it less of something they chose for themselves and more of a given. Pretty much just like Naruto being Ashura's reincarnation cheapens his own story, it cheapens their relationship too.
I dont want a story about two boys who were destined to be important to each other!!!! I want a story about two orphans who just happened to become important to one another thru a series of coincidences and personal choices. In that way, their relationship gains greater gravity bc it's born from their own hearts Alone. It's Naruto moving mountains for the sake of this boy he loves, and it's Sasuke finally coming back around bc of the force of Naruto's dedication. It means so much more than the implication that they were always meant to be a pair. So I really don't like this narrative choice.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#naruto#narusasu#sasunaru#(i talk about how the reincarnation thing affects the context of their relationship lower down in the post)#naruto spoilers#if anyone still cares about those lol#anyways it's been really cool to finally see all this late-show stuff for myself after being in the fandom for so long#(i was caught up once upon a time. but that was around episode 200 or so lol)#but as much as im enjoying some things in the show. there are other things that i just... dont like.#part of that is nearly Half the entirety of shippuden being the fucking war arc. it's precisely what's kept me from catching up until now#but then theres the loss of the story's original Feeling. the anti-war and anti-child soldiers sentiment.#Naruto being an absolute nobody and watching Haku and Zabuza's ending & being so moved by it that it informs his entire ninja way#but Kishimoto is turning around and saying 'he was actually destined for this the whole time'. which just... i just really don't like it.#this + Neji's death feels like it's discounting their fight's entire point. Neji's entire character arc.#the fact that fate doesnt matter as much as dedication. being a 'genius' doesnt matter as much as effort.#but Neji. the caged bird. dies to protect the main line. driving home that it was pointless for him to resist it the whole time.#and Naruto. the one who worked tirelessly to become hokage against all odds and adversity. turns out it was Meant To Be after all.#sigh... i really do love this anime so much. ive loved it for most of my memory and its characters are so so dear to me.#but i also. really. REAAAAAAAAALLY hate this anime sometimes. damned anime discounting its own points...#alas. i shall continue to watch. because i do want to finally finish it.#i shall simply. probably not watch Boruto afterwards lol
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sleepyblr-heart · 6 months ago
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old yuri comic GO
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storytellermp3 · 13 days ago
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would you throw rocks at me if we started talking about collective stuff here…?
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whoviandoodler · 5 months ago
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I can't stress enough how important it is to draw characters with physical traits you find ugly, unattractive and/or repulsive, especially if you yourself share those traits. Nothing will make you more accepting of diversity in yourself and others that engaging with it during the creative process and giving it to characters you love.
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br1ghtestlight · 2 months ago
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it genuinely sucks that i could spend all that time building some type of platform on twitter (if we're being generous) and then elon musk just destroys it and none of that matters anymore. which followers arent the most important thing anyway but i know none of my tumblr followers give a fuck about object shows so its just like Okay the only people who even cared about my osc opinions and now everyone is gone!!! like bitch i was here first. we should kill elon musk im so serious
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soap-is-an-artist · 8 days ago
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Hooray... it's 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night listening to the imperium... I feel so happy and satisfied with my life choices...
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I am feeling very much not cowabunga, dude
[SEVERE rambling in tags]
#ouww it hurts!! it hurts!!! this is the stuff you're supposed to leave for angst fic writers not make canon in an alt universe?? ERIK PLEASE#i hate the whole entire world right now. genuinely cannot speak to anyone normally for the next 3-4 business days.#I have no one irl to rant to about this FUCK im stranded. im quarantined. im being held against my will free meee#The irl friend i have who knows anything at all about redacted only knows freelancer s1 i cannot drop this bigass plot on them#Genuinely i might start going mad out of repression. Erik writing “hope you enjoy” in the desc as if that wasnt the most painfully torturou#experience I've ever had in my life. The fucking inevitability. I knew Echo was going to pull some shit. IM JUST GLAD VIN AND FL ARE OK#they were NOT the turning point just let them live their cabin in the woods fantasy for however long they can okay...#Also I kinda love imp!vega. not the biggest fan of prime bc of the whole child beating situation but i sure loved this guy.#really knew what he was talking about when it came to revolutions and stuff. Like he's good. no disrespect to avior but vega did good#and he was so gentle with his partner which i find more appealing than torture but that's just me. that's just me i get it#And uh. speaking of that. Imp!sam. Yeah i get why some of yall are goin wild over him and i wish i could say i shared the sentiment but hes#too scary im weak like that. when i know a bastard would simply kill me without a care im just not into that yknow? or maybe you dont#Glad we got twisted gay damihux at the end though MUAHAJAJA that's one of the only redeeming lights that kept me alive#FUCKKKK SHIT FU K SJIT DAM ASHERS ENTIRE SCENE WITH BRACJIUM GOD HELP ME. ID DIE FOR THAT MAN#he's so fucking sad!!! he just wants his husband back!!! HE WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK!!!!!!#No even I don't understand how it's possible to get this attached to characters. I don't know. Im in deep shit.#Is this the end for me? Is my life over? These are the questions I have today. I probably just need to sleep because again#it's 7:30 in the morning. but regardless. These characters mean so much to me and this silly anthology has pulled emotions out of#me that i am terrified of feeling [survivors guilt hits me right in the fucking heart] and im scared. of what? don't know#That little shit Echo was right about one thing. It may not be real but the emotional damage it caused me is real. AND IRREPARABLE#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted imperium#redacted imp!asher#redacted echo#redacted imp!vega#redacted imp!sam#redacted vindemiator#tired of tagging. hitting the pillow. good night.
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mistninja · 27 days ago
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Feeling very "fitz-core" right now (spiraling)
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