#i just want someone who cares about me and accepts me

[forgot-my-line]

By actively making posts that put people down and make a public space feel unsafe, unwelcoming or not open/accepting of someone, you are doing the exact same things they are. If it's bad when they do it, it's bad when you do it. It's not a one-way street. You are being just as bad as they are.

I completely agree that we don't owe them Respect. They didn't show us any. I do, though, wholeheartedly believe that there isn't a single person ever who doesn't deserve basic human decency. That includes feeling safe in spaces that are open to literally any and everyone. And yea sure, most aren't helping, but what about the ones who are at least trying? what about the trump voters who are donating to trans health donation centers? or the trump voters who didn't get a say (for personal safety or other reasons) or were spoonfed misinformation, who are trying to right things now? Do they not count for something?

I'm also not saying we have to coddle anyone. I'm saying if we could stop making public spaces unsafe for some people, regardless if you like, love, hate or despise them, that would be just peachy. These spaces are where some people go to escape other oppressive forces, don't add to the list of people they have to avoid. Actually, in fact, don't coddle them. That won't help. What won't help either though, is isolating them. If we isolate people, we do the same thing as the people you are so against. You are being just as bad as they are.

Not every person who voted againt Harris is a bad person. I apoligize if this fact is upsetting to you. Some trump voters, as touched on ealier, weren't in a position where they could vote how they wanted to. I am well aware that this is a very hard subject to come to terms with. Not everyone has to see things like abuse or manipulation first hand but that doesn't mean it isn't a real thing that actively affects choices and decisions. Sometimes the only thing they could do to avoid voting for Trump, was to withhold from voting or vote third party. They didn't get a choice so why make them feel worse about it.

It's been made more than clear that these are the consequences of what happened at the election. Not only has it been spelt out for everone, their dead grandma, and their pet fish, but it's been spoonfed to each and every one of them. Repeating the same things over and over and over again only make people sick of listening to you. They'll see and hear how upset you and everyone are regardless

As for standing up for what's important to me, Unity has to be pretty high on my list. Sorry if my standing behind that ideal upsets you. Change isn't gonna happen if you stand alone, acting as if the entire world is against you. Rome wasn't built by a single person, just as it wasn't built in a single day. You need to have people in your corner.

As you said, Change doesn't magically happen. People work for each and every change that has happened, big or small. Shaming and tearing people down doesn't have to be a part of that work. I'm not saying shaming people won't get the results you so desperately want, I'm saying that there are much better ways of getting people to realize they are wrong and/or need to change than making public spaces an unsafe space to be and to make people feel worse about themselves than they already do.

It wasn't just this particular post that was the issue, but the fact that no matter how many political opinions and posts I ignored completely and scrolled past, posts like these still showed up on my dash. My passion is my compassion and ability to care for everyone. I'd much rather live in a world where every single living thing feels safe, at least in my presence, than getting into silly arguments with random strangers on Tumblr dot com. Responses like these are not only condescending, they actively miss the entire point I was making.

[hyperions-light]

Someone was being a fucking hater on my explicitly positive DATV post AGAIN (u all know I can see your tags right. They get delivered to me express mail style) so here’s an essay about how I thought the Grey Warden plotline was great:

First, it was extremely lore-consistent. I don’t know how to tell people this, but the Grey Wardens simply are sort of shady— it’s part of their charm. In DAO alone we found out they:

- kill anyone who refuses the joining

- are definitely using a blood magic ritual to induct people

- tried to usurp the throne of Fereldan

In DA2 they:

-Forced Malcolm Hawke to perform a blood magic ritual against his will to contain Corypheus, by threatening to kill his family

- Built a giant prison in the mountains they didn’t tell anyone about and that someone could wander into and not be able to escape

- the entire Corypheus thing. They didn’t even tell the other Wardens like what he was or how dangerous he was.

DAI:

- the demon army thing was pretty bad

And that’s not even mentioning any stuff from the books or comics or shows! That’s just stuff in the games!

So they’re shady. It’s okay! They’re my little woobie guys, idc if they’re sort of shady!

But the plot in DATV is about all of those previously established issues coming back to bite them in the fucking ass, as they should! Knock knock, it’s the consequences of your actions, baby! The chickens are home to roost

(Which is just good storytelling. Like if you set up a bunch of issues and then never pay them off or anything that’s bad.)

Destroying Weisshaupt was inspired! Firstly bc Davrin is Weisshaupt, metaphorically (bulwark against the darkness, etc, I already made a post) so it serves his character arc. But also because it strips away the pageantry and the grandeur from them; no more castle for you! No more myth!

Davrin explicitly tells you that the First Warden is a traditionalist; he represents the historical attitudes of the Wardens. They do not accept help, they do not give up their secrets, they are standing alone against the dark. And it doesn’t work! He’s fucking wrong (and very punch-able). Being secretive and isolationist is a mistake that costs them nearly everything.

But also, and I’m not sure how many people experienced this on the first go-around, the game does ultimately come down on the side of the Wardens always trying to do the right thing. You CAN talk the First Warden down, because in the end he’s a Warden, and he might be stubborn and curmudgeonly and miserable but he CARES about the world. He came to do good. He admits he was wrong and he helps you. Because the heart of the Wardens is about selfless service to other people. In Death, Sacrifice.

Stripping away Weisshaupt and the glory and pageantry leaves the Wardens at their most vulnerable and forces them to return to their fundamental principles: helping people. That’s what Lavendel is about. Helping individual people and preserving every life possible even if it doesn’t feel that glamorous or heroic. Lavendel isn’t a significant place; it doesn’t matter, but it matters so much.

And then, the Cauldron.

First off, do not at me about Last Flight. I don’t think people should have to read external materials to play this game and understand it. If the information is vital it should be presented to the player in the text.

The Cauldron is the repository of the Wardens’ secrets; it’s where the keep the bones of the Archdemons, the secret to the Joining, ancient and dangerous weapons, as well as the bodies of the griffons, which represents their most shameful errors. Isseya is the avatar of the Wardens’ mistakes; she’s been hurt by what they made her do, and her pain was never acknowledged by them. They buried her story and her suffering like they bury everything they don’t want to deal with and are ashamed of. They left the bones of the griffons, whose deaths they directly caused, to rot because they were too sad to acknowledge them.

But it was wrong to walk away, it was wrong to bury it. Isseya makes sure that they can never do that again, that they have to own what they did and take responsibility. By discovering who she is and by restoring her personhood to her, by reminding her of her love which drove her to her anguish in the first place, Davrin saves her and he saves the griffons. He doesn’t do it using violence, because another sin of the Wardens is just assuming that they can kill their way out of their problems, which the game disproves by revealing the origin of the Blight. You can kill as many darkspawn as you want, you will never fix it! The Titans’ dreams do not need to be slain, they need to be healed.

Isseya is in so much pain because of her incredible love for both the griffons and the Wardens, and because of her guilt. Look what she builds! An alternate Weisshaupt, a distorted reflection of her home. She entreats both Davrin and Assan to join her, because she doesn’t think she’s trying to destroy anything. She’s trying to save them! She wants them to come home. “I am their mother,” she says, and she’s right. She saved them, then, and she ends up saving them now! Because she made Davrin and the other Wardens look, unflinchingly, at what they had done, it will never happen again. She was going about it wrong during the game, but she was ALWAYS trying to save them.

Davrin, Antoine and Evka represent the Wardens’ commitment to being different. They let Flynn undergo the Joining without becoming a Warden, they reveal secrets to non-Warden Rook, they offer to help the Viper without asking for anything in return. They ask for help and offer it freely. If the Wardens are going to persist into a world without Archdemons, they HAVE to change. They can’t be what they were anymore. The game is asking what a Warden is when they have to be more than their oath, when they have to live. It’s a great exploration of and expansion on previously established lore.

Anyway, my advice if you hated the plot and the game and the characters is to a) make your own post b) don’t bother me about it, because I have the time and I will be loudly positive in response!

[wosowffc]

CAN SOMEONE HELP

Tw seizure

You and Leah had been living together over the last few weeks as you have just recently moved to Arsenal from munic so knowing Georgia reckoned it was a good idea a you can't live alone.

Leah has been amazing company and you had grown very close in such a small time. The girls had immediately starting taking notice of this and soon enough you and leha had too. She asked you out on a date to a roof top picnic at night and it was perfect we walked home with pizza and watch a movie.

Today we had one of our freinds wedding whos very close to the team so as a result we are all invited. It's in this historical magical looking castle grounds where streamers and strung and music is thriving after about 4 hours of speaches, the best part of weddings (not) we finally were on the dance floor all half cut. I'm not ment to drink as I take tablets but after backlash of me and leahs relationship and theories from fans as we still haven't even made it public I needed this drink well drinks (I'm quite far in)

"Ynnnn, Heyy gurllll" an equally drunk Katie McCabe comes up to me ushering me to dance with her which my drunken self happy accepted as me and the girl danced I started to feel a bit...off?

I recongnised the felling even though my drunken self drunk phased head I now this feeling. I ripped myself awy from the group to see Leah just at the side with alessia as they grabbed some wine.

"Leah" I said desperate as u grabbed her arms not even caring how I shoved between alessia as they were talking about some random stuff.

"Leah I need....leave we...not here" you words started to slur as you got weaker"Leah I should have said before, I'm sorry please." "Leah please don't be mad" you say as you fall into leahs chest her arms wrapping around you.

Leahs pov

Yn stumble toward me she was drunk yes, but this isn't her drunk stumble she takes a hold of me between alessia I wrap my arms round her back her words are slurring. I don't think this is alcohol. I know she doesn't slur when drunk I know that after the first team get together her and Katie ahd a drink off but that's for a diffrent time cause with in seconds she was dead weight against my chest as I held her.

"SHIT, less help , can someone help me" I had carried her and ran to a room to the side alessia following on the phone to paramedics as soon as I laid her down she started shaking. Violently. Her jaw clenched, arms straight by her side and all over convulsing. Alessia was saying stuff I didn't know what I was sat on my knees next to her as she was making noises and I stroked her hair back.

"Leah move please I know what to do " less ushered her away handing her the phone as the paramedics spoke to her through the phone. She put yn on her side wiping some spit away from her mouth and cheek. She lied her head so she could breathe a bit better clearing up some of the noises.

Yn pov

There were voices, they were telling me stuff saying everything's ok. I open my eyes I'm on my side on the floor everything hurts. I've had a siezure. I blink I blurring my vision to see Leah at my head she's talking calmly

"It's ok we're going to lay there for a bit ok?" She said more of a stamens but made it sound like a question. Tears trickle down my cheek to me ear and she turns more concerned.

"I'm sorry, please I'm- I should have told you le- I'm sorry" I apologise holdin her hand

"Yn it's ok we found the medical band on your ankle it's ok, I'm here when ever you need you can teach me what to do and when ever you need I'll be there"

You sit into her lap for a while in silence as tiredness takes over. Leah carries you to bed in the hotel and settles in next to you.

She rubs your back as you softly breathe next to her. She wish you would have told her, she didn't want you to feel like you couldn't. But she's here now and she knows so she will learn and she will help you when ever

[ordinaryschmuck]

With Gooseworx all but confirming that the Jax being an AI thing is bullshit, I personally want to talk about an interesting part about Jax that a lot of theorists used as "evidence" that validates the theory:

Jax's fourth wall breaks are a common topic brought up amongst the "Jax is an NPC" theory. After all, Caine broke the fourth wall in the pilot, knowing full well that the world of The Amazing Digital Circus isn't real and is talking to some unseen viewer as he introduces the Circus Crew.

There's also this bit of official art surrounding Jax's pin:

Where everyone else is inside their room, Jax is outside as pieces of the circus fall apart around him and all of reality to crash. Certainly lends itself to this idea that Jax knows he's not a real person and that his presence could cause great disruption to this world. And he doesn't care because none of it is real. Might as well have fun and cause chaos in a world that doesn't exist.

And I'll admit, all of this seems like valid claims for how the theory could be true. I saw it all and thought that it surely COULD be possible...but there are some things that stop me from being convinced.

Firstly, Caine breaking the fourth wall in the pilot doesn't really seem like an AI talking to the audience. It looks more like an AI programmed to talk to a player as a game boots up. What we saw in the opening could be more like a morning routine that he has to do at least once a day. Plus, we've yet to see any other NPC talk to the audience like Jax has. He explicitly called out the viewers in episode three, knowing full well he's being watched by SOMEONE. Or, at the very least, acting like he is. What do I mean by that? Well, to explain, I'd like to use one of my favorite fourth wall breakers as an example:

Deadpool, in most adaptations, knows fully well that he's a fictional character. He'll talk to the readers/viewers, move the camera around, and constantly talk shit to the writers/studio for occasionally screwing him over. It's all in good (Sometimes bloody) fun...but there's a canonical reason for this. It's not like She-Hulk where the fourth wall breaks are a way to tell HER stories HER way. You see, Deadpool...is just fucking insane.

No, really, that's the reason. Due to the trauma of gaining his powers, Deadpool's mind breaks and he's led to believe that he MUST be a fictional character. In comics, he actually gets voices in his head that makes him think he must be some comic book superhero, and the movies implied that something similar happened given how he never broke the fourth wall ONCE before getting his powers. This means him breaking the fourth wall could be seen as a coping mechanism. After all, it's better to believe you're a fictional character designed to entertain some invisible audience than believe that all of the shitty things that happened to you and people close to you is just a cruel joke from the universe.

Sound familiar?

Going back to the pilot, remember how Pomni's first instinct was to say that the Circus was all just a dream? To her, it's better to live in a lie that everything around her isn't real than to accept the reality that she's stuck in digital purgatory. Jax very well could be going through something similar, but unlike Pomni who seemed to just accept her reality, Jax never did. The trauma of being stuck in the Circus had led to his mind breaking just like Pomni's, Kinger's, and anyone else's. It's just that, for him, he thinks he's coping with it better because he discovered the secret that no one else did: None of this is real.

They're not actually people trapped in some hellscape while an AI unintentionally tortures them. They're all just fictional characters whose tragedies and silly antics are used to entertain viewers. I mean, it's either that or they're real people forever trapped in the circus with the closest thing to death being a full, psychotic break as they give up their sanity because they no longer want to exist in this hell anymore...But that possibly can't be true. Because if that IS true, then Jax has to face that he's a real person stuck in a real, awful situation that he can't joke his way out of. So, it's best to think nothing is real and nothing they do matter. So, might as well have fun with it.

Going back to the pin...

I don't think this is damning evidence about Jax being an NPC. Actually, it perfectly captures who he is as a character. He knows the circus isn't real. He even thinks HE isn't real. So instead of grappling with that, Jax lets himself believe that if nothing is real than nothing he does matters. He can break things, ruin lives, and assist in torturing the others in the circus. It's what he thinks will make the show more entertaining, even though all he's really entertaining is himself so his mind doesn't break more than it does.

Now, could the same apply if he's an NPC? Well...maybe. Gumigoo definitely proves how far someone could fall when they're told their world is fake. He was about ready to give up on life because he didn't think he had one. If Jax was an NPC, I could see him having a similar break, but going in the far opposite direction where, instead of giving up on life, he chooses to live the way HE wants it. Instead of being some one-off NPC for a lame adventure, he could go off on adventures of his own and ruin the lives of others now that his is thoroughly ruined.

However, Gooseworx makes a good point: "...a lot of people come up with theories based on how unexpected they'd be, and not because they make sense or align with the show's themes."

If Jax is an NPC, it would harm the overall message of the show. That there's meaning to be found in a stagnant life, and you find that meaning with people close to you who make that life worth living. Jax represents a sort of foil to that idea, with his way of coping with the madness being pure chaos and breaking others. It's his coping mechanism, and it works because it shows how human Jax really is. They're ALL human and they have human desires and wants, with the Circus pretty much stripping that away and leaving them...as they are now. They're emotionally broken, their sanity is decreasing, and some of them are losing all sense of self. By making Jax an NPC, it would definitely be surprising, but it would take away from that idea. It no longer makes him a human facing his own tragedy but instead an AI that's just as broken as Gummigoo. More than that, it gives the others an easy out. All the crew has to do is tell Caine that Jax is an NPC and POOF! No more annoyance. So making him someone who HAS to stay with the others and they're forever forced to deal with him also adds more to THEIR tragedy and torture.

Jax being an NPC is an interesting theory, but I don't think it's one that SHOULD be true. To me, it's more fascinating watching Jax treat the world around him as meaningless knowing he's a human instead of a rogue NPC breaking everything. And Gooseworx made it clear how they feel about it. Now, could it potentially be a mislead to get fans off the trail? Genuinely...I don't think so. That sounded very "I don't like this idea so it's not gonna happen" type of response. Still, we won't know until the show wraps up. Anything can happen, but don't get your hopes up if a character who does bad things to people that don't deserve it is more human than you think.

[numathehusky]

🌱 My first was surprisingly Gumball from TAWOG! I’m not sure what my middle school self saw in him but whatever.

🥀 I just sometimes believe I am not up to their standards, plus, I am okay with just two F/Os. I’m sure they know I have a crush on them.

🎉 Surprisingly, I believe back when DDLC first released, I think I had more of a connection to Monika than the others. At the time, I did not know what lesbianism was, and I thought it was wrong to be someone of the same sex.

📦 Alastor. This selfship lasted for years, I think during my entire highschool years. It was unfortunately ruined by my abusive ex who is gone now. I just see Alastor as a best friend now, I never really stopped liking him honestly.

📸 This was fun to do!

🎵 I got a whole playlist dedicated to my selfship, but heres my top 3.

- 🤍 - DJ Khaled - I’m the One ft. Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Lil Wayne

- 🤍 - La Bersuit - Un pacto para vivir

- 🤍 - Modern Talking - You’re my heart, You’re my soul

📝 This my favorite art piece I did for her!

💟 As much as I’m embarassed to tell her, I find her adorable in cat ears and paws.

💭 I’ve seen people headcanon that Monika can also play guitar, not only piano. I do think the guitar is very fitting for her.

💢 Monika is one of the most valid hopeless romantics ever.

🚩 Sometimes she’s a little bit controlling. As much as I sort of like it, it’s something me and her have been working on together.

💌 She actually confessed first, at the end of the game (DDLC) in the spaceroom. Throughout the game, I had developed feelings, and I did not know she was having the same feelings till the end.

💗 She said it first, but it shouldve been me, I would have said it 100 times more.

🌺 We sometimes spoon, but we mostly just hug each other. I snuggle into her as she pets me till I fully fall asleep. I also hug a plushie of her too for extra comfort.

🛀 Sometimes at the couch, I’d be arting on my tablet while she reads a book or two. Sometimes I secretly look at her reading and ask what shes reading so far. She info dumps to me.

🎀 Uh- HER ADORABLE WHITE RIBBON BOW HELLO??

🎠 She has a very caring side to her. The most sweetest personality you can think of. It’s like she always knows what’s up with me. It’s a little scary she can read my body language and face like a book.

🎡 I think us going to buy milkshakes and sitting together in a comfty cabin while it’s raining hard is the best date scenario ever. After we’re done with the shakes, we’d cuddle!

💚 I do get a bit jelly when she pets a dog she sees, i sometimes puff my cheeks and cross my arms a bit. I know we’re in public and I am kind of shy for PDA, but I love headpats, and I can’t help seeing someone else recieving it and get jealous.

🎇 Ya’ll are going to kill me.. Monika x Spacecore.

♨️ They don’t know about it yet, but I’m assuming Rainbow Dash would definitly tease me about it, but Alastor and Kai Lan would be accepting and proud of me for being in a healthy relationship.

🔒 It’s more so Alastor that’s protective of me. Since he’s my bestest friend and my ex, he wouldn’t want to see me go into a depression if something went wrong with my relationship.

✩ sleepover inspired selfship asks! ✩

send one or more emoji's alongside a fandom or specific f/o! (if applicable)

🌱 Who was your first F/O?

🥀 Talk about some of your fictional crushes and why they aren’t your F/O!

🎉 Tell us some fun facts about your newest selfship!

📦 Who are some F/Os you no longer ship with? Why?

📸 Make a moodboard for you and your F/O!

🎵 List three songs that remind you of your selfship.

📝 Give us a piece of a WIP involving your F/O (writing, art, etc.)

💟 Give us an embarrassing/secret headcanon you have about your F/O!

🧾 What’s your favorite headcanon someone else has made about your F/O?

💭 What’s your favorite uncommon headcanon about your F/O?

💢 What’s an unpopular opinion you have regarding your F/O?

🚩 What are some of your F/O’s flaws? Any red flags?

💌 How did you/your F/O confess your feelings to one another?

💗When did your F/O first say ‘I love you?’

🌺 How do you and your F/O cuddle?

🛀 What’s your favorite mundane thing to do with your F/O?

🎀 What’s your favorite thing about your F/O’s appearance?

🎠 What’s your favorite thing about your F/O’s personality?

🎡 What’s your dream date to go on with your F/O?

💚 Who are you most jealous of when it comes to your F/O?

🌠 What’s a crack selfship that you’ve thought of?

🎇 Which is the most CURSED crack selfship you’ve thought of?

♨️Did your platonic F/Os tease you about your feelings for your romantic F/O?

🔒 What does your platonic F/O think about your F/O? Are they overprotective of you?

🍦 What do any familiar F/Os think about your romantic F/O?

proshippers dni - this isn't for you ✩

[mejomonster]

I am begging you, if your partner insults you, curses at you, screams at you, starts many conversations by accusing you of something (and if you two talk about this situation - you continue having arguments instead of just solving problems together), you feel in danger when near your partner, you feel safer when away from your partner, or your partner hits you, please please consider leaving them.

Just consider leaving the space they're in, and going to a friend's house or a family member's and staying for a day. Do you feel safer? Calmer?

You do not have to be friends with a person who disrespects or harasses you. You do not have to be friends with someone who hits you, who tells you you're stupid/ugly/annoying whatever, who screams at you when you spill food or forget to do the dishes instead of just asking "hey could you please clean this?", who doesn't accept a "no" from you such as "No I do not want to be touched right now." Please tell me you'd be kind enough to yourself to stop seeing a friend who hit you or told you you're worthless or screamed at you for not reading their mind (no one can read minds).

So if a partner does those things, you're allowed to stop seeing them too. You are allowed to love someone, to care about their wellbeing and want good things for them, and also REMOVE YOURSELF from their space and life. You're allowed to think "wow I love this guy, I am sad he's depressed, I hope he feels better" and also think "but he keeps calling me ugly and stupid, and every time I see him he insults me and screams and I get scared, I should stop visiting him and stop answering his calls and texts so I am no longer in situations where I could be insulted and screamed at." You are allowed to love someone, and ALSO protect yourself from them! You deserve to be safe! You deserve to protect yourself first, care about your own wellbeing first, care about if YOU are safe and content, even if it means upsetting someone else. Even if someone else would rather you were hurting, if it meant you kept seeing them.

You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be spoken to kindly, to feel you are safe from physical harm, to be talked to as a person with value. From strangers, friends, and lovers. If people are hurting you, if you feel worse being around them, you are ALLOWED to leave and put yourself in a place where you are no longer being hurt. You deserve to prioritize your own well being.

[ashkabbom]

Nightmares - Mouthwashing

A/n: I finished the draft of this at 3am and finished the English version at 5am😭. I'm not going to lie, I was a little embarrassed while writing this, but I kind of liked how it turned out. Feel free to correct me if I wrote something wrong. English is not my first language and I used the help of translator🎀.

Summary/Synopsis: Nightmares keep you awake longer than you want.

Notes: I didn't specify gender and I didn't describe any closer relationship with any character, so you decide the gender and how you see the relationship between them.

→Warning: There is mention of death, blood and suicide here, so be careful or don't read if these are subjects you don't like and doesn't feel comfortable reading, since they are sensitive topics, okay?🫶🏽 Take care of yourself.

Stupid ideas are something common to everyone, right? Well, going after that job, even knowing how strange it seemed for them to accept you so... quickly or easily, that was stupid.

Daisuke and you had been playing Monopoly for a while, maybe 30 minutes. You guessed it was sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, the moon on the huge screen letting you know that you were definitely not supposed to be awake right now.

It was those few moments that made you feel like yourself again, less crazy. Being among the stars in space was new, you didn't really expect to be here and it was a little strange not talking to other people.

"You can pay me $250" You mentioned with a cheeky smile and a cocky voice.

Daisuke looks at you confused and then at the board. It was already the fourth time he had landed on a property you had purchased, and that in 15 minutes.

"How do you manage to make this game work in your favor?" He asked indignantly.

"Daisuke Daisuke... You need to expand your mind a lot with the knowledge of a true entrepreneur." You explain with elegance and sincerity.

"I still have a lot to learn then" Daisuke says sighing with a raised eyebrow.

"This is already the second property stolen in this game without you seeing it," Anya says as she watches you and Daisuke playing.

"Hey, I thought we were friends." You look at Anya with fake disappointment.

"I thought WE were friends!" He shouts (whispers loudly) in disbelief. "And before that you two were complaining when we were playing UNO."

"Your cards were only good cards! It was impossible for you to have gotten those cards completely randomly," Anya asks, pointing her finger at him.

"What can I do if luck was on my side?" He shrugs smugly.

"What a coincidence that luck was on your side when you were the one who shuffled the cards, huh?" You point out with a doubtful tone. "Quite a coincidence."

"A twist of fate," he quickly retorts. "By the way, you were the one who brought the UNO deck, who can guarantee that you hadn't already left the deck ready for you to deal the cards?"

"Are we really arguing about UNO this early in the morning?" Anya asks with a slight smile.

"It's for the power of being right and not being accused of false crimes" Daisuke answers simply. "But I think I've had enough of Monopoly, this game takes longer than I remember and is more fun with more than two people, since Anya didn't want to play"

"Of course I'm playing! I'm the bank!" She says, feeling wronged.

"Just handing out the money doesn't count, you're not playing in the game with us" He retorts once more, pointing at her face.

"He's right," you reply as you start to put the game away. "But I swore we had more board games here on the ship."

"And we have, I remember having more than these three at least.." Anya says a little thoughtfully. "It must be in someone's room I think"

The three of you start to put away the games you had brought there together without much fuss, although Daisuke said that one of the Monopoly dice was missing.

You never imagined meeting the two of them during one of your sleepless days. Anya you had met before when you were sleep deprived once, but Daisuke was new, out of all the others you thought he would be the one who would have perhaps the best sleep because he was an intern.

This goes down the drain when he says that sometimes he lies awake thinking only that this time he heard footsteps in the hallway, probably yours, so he went to see who it was and was lucky that it was you and Anya. If it were any of the other three, he didn't know if he would be able to make any conversation flow more smoothly.

That's how you ended up playing some games during the early hours of the morning. Daisuke suggested you guys maybe play something in silence while you talked, coincidentally you had some games.

"Did you imagine yourself working here when you did the job interview?" This time it was Anya who started a conversation.

"I was kind of pushed here, so I was hoping so," Daisuke says, remembering how he got here. "But I didn't really want to be accepted here."

"I didn't even expect to get a job so quickly, I had resigned a week earlier from another job" You say as you plop down on the couch, the two board games on your side with the UNO deck on top.

"And why did you resign?" The boy asks curiously, throwing himself on the couch and stretching.

"My boss was my ex, and he was my ex for a reason, I think that was already a reason for me to rethink whether my workplace was good or at least tolerable." You say it simply. "But obviously there were other reasons, I almost sued the place where I worked, but that's a story for another day."

"And then you came to work in such a cool place like Pony Express, what a great thing" Anya says sarcastically, sitting down next to him.

"I needed a job, water, electricity and food bills are not paid with anything" You sigh sadly. "But I think I'm going to quit when we get back, it's not necessarily rock bottom here but it's not a good thing either."

"I think I'd feel a little better if I knew less about what we were transporting into space." Daisuke complains and rests his head on his hand.

"That's a fair reason, I hadn't thought about that side of things just now.." She stops to think if at any point they had received any information about the thing that you were all transporting.

"Hmmm.. That kind of company must transport food or water, things like that, right?" You assume that it must be based on what little you know.

So you stay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the calm that night..

Now the silence seemed like the worst torture.

If you had known that, I think you would have been better prepared to try to deal with the situation, or... I don't know. You can't even imagine knowing how to deal with this. You just want to go back to that night and make it last a lifetime.

You hugged your friend with all your strength, saying that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to be okay, you were going to go back home, you were going to play together again.

"NO NO NO! God, please tell me this is a lie!" You sob through your tears. "Anya! Please talk to me! Don't say that's true!"

She didn't respond at all, her eyes, now lifeless, staring upward, blood staining her mouth and chin.

You begged her to be a lie and just mess with you, to wink and laugh at how desperate you were and tell her she was fine. Everything seemed so unreal, so weird and heavy.

Crying is the only thing you could do right. You don't even know how long you stood there with her in your arms.

But then you freeze.

You freeze when you notice Daisuke's silence in the other room, you sob and just hear Jimmy say something about letting him think he was going to fix everything.

Carefully letting go of Anya's body you stand up.

That's not true, is it?

As you enter the other room you look to the side and feel like vomiting.

"Daisuke, no no no... Daisuke answer me, please look at me, please please..."

Screaming and crying you go next to Daisuke's body now in silence, running your hand over his face.

Gosh, you didn't even know what to do. On one side was Anya's body and on the other was Daisuke's body.

All you could do was beg any God that could hear you at that moment, beg that all of this was just a terrible dream and that your friends were okay.

They still had so many dreams, you still had so many things to do together. Even if you never left the ship and died here, you would get through this together.

What had you done to deserve this? What had Anya done to deserve a future like this? Daisuke still had so much to live for.

A few minutes pass with you sitting on the floor, now holding Daisuke's body in your arms, running your hands through his hair, saying that tomorrow is another day, that he would talk excitedly to you again..

You remember hearing Swansea yelling to go after Jimmy, but at this point you couldn't tell what you were imagining and what was real.

You lay him down again.

Everything would be sorted out tomorrow.

You walk towards the kitchen in that room.

This is all too much for your head.

You grab something from the kitchen.

Everything was going to be fine

You move automatically, and then blood gushes from your neck, the knife falls and then your body.

Curse this nightmare you lived in.

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Alpha is done with Terzomega, but he's not much better. Featuring, well, obviously, sickeningly in love Terzomega and one interesting situationship between the second Emeritus brother & our dealy beloved asshole of a fire ghoul (affectionate).

Terzo and Omega are being painfully obvious and Alpha is so, so done. There is no way in hell they're going to fool anyone if they keep glancing at each other that way, looking away precipitately whenever they make eye contact. They are in a goddamn meeting for Lucifer's sake, something about next tour's budget that the two ghouls are only attending to make it look like the Clergy gives a single damn about creatures like them, and here are those two fools, "we just fucked" pratically written on their foreheads. Alpha leans toward Omega until he can hiss exasperatedly directly in his ear.

"Can you be any more obvious ? Stop staring, and stop touching your neck, Satanas."

It would be funny, to see a big ghoul like Omega dip his head down bashfullly the way he does just now, if it didn't bring such a sickeningly soft look in Terzo's eyes, one that even from the corners of his owns Alpha can see. It's sweet. Alpha can feel cavities forming in his mollar. There's not much else he can do though, so he straightens back in his seat, glaring at Terzo in hope of conveying the warning he's too far away to angrily whisper at him.

Except that Terzo doesn't even has the decency to be embarrassed about it ; no, he smirks and raises a smug eyebrow at his fire ghoul, who has to make a concious effort not to accidentally set his seat aflame.

This meeting better be over in less than five minute or someone will get hurt.

The second it is, and they're out of view, Alpha drags Omega and Terzo toward a relatively private hallway by the back of their neck, spitting mad, tail lashing behind him.

"Are you two out of your goddamn minds ?!"

Unfortunately, fueled by Terzo's evident delight at the situation, Omega has recovered from the initial embarrassement, his eyes now crinkled in a way that means he's smiling under his mask. Alpha is going to throttle him.

"Come now, Alpha, you're blowing things out of proportions," Terzo has the galls of chuckling, mischief brightening his features and isn't it Satan's best joke that being a dick is what makes this little asshole happy, because Alpha is equal part boiling with fury and glad to see that painted mouth losing a bit of its usual frown.

He's still pissed though.

"Blowing- you were making bedroom eyes at eachother from across the table ! Do you have any idea how incriminating it is, not to mention absolutely fucking disgusting ?"

Omega shrugs elegantly, the wide plane of his shoulders raising easily.

"You're the only one that finds happiness disgusting, Al"

There's a chuckle trapped in the quint's voice, which does not help Alpha's temper. He stares at those two idiots, Terzo nonchalently leaning back into Omega's chest, humming in approval as the quint's hands work on tense muscles at the back of his neck. They are effortlessly domestic like this, relaxed and so, so easy to figure out. Alpha chucks his mask off just so he can bury his face in his hands and very nearly scream.

"One, seeing you being all lovey-dovey makes me want to throw up, the less I know about you two, the better, and two, if I can see it, everyone else can. You could get into so much trouble, you know that ?"

Omega's deep chuckle does not help at all. How can they be so careless ? How can they swat the risks like flies, knowing damn well how ruthless consequences can be here ? But then Terzo's face settles into something more serious, as he reaches out to straighten Alpha's grucifix, fix his collar and redo the buttons that popped open with gentle care.

"It's alright, dear. We are aware of our situation, but stopping ourselves from living because of it is out of the question. With acceptance comes a lot of freedom."

If Alpha is stubborn, Terzo is much worse, contrarily to popular belief, there is no way the fire ghoul will make him change his mind. Even less so when Omega joins in, voice calm and steady.

"You have to trust our judgement, or at least respect it, firefly. We made a choice. We'll stick to it, come what may."

Mourning the fact that he doesn't even has Ifrit's sad puppy dog eyes as a last resort to try and please convince them to be more careful, Alpha let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Alright. But I swear to everything that's unholy, if I walk in on you two, or if i hear anything coming from one of your rooms, I'm burning your beds down."

Terzo's smile is back tenfold, radiating the same smug energy as earlier.

"Of course, dear. We'll try our best."

He's wearing that "I know something you don't know" face, Alpha realizes. He narrows his eyes at the Papa.

"What ?"

It's Omega who answers though, no doubt grinning from ear to ear.

"By the way, Secondo's walls aren't as thick as you seem to think, mutt."

The echo of the second Emeritus brother's voice curling around the word in that half condescending, half appreciative tone bounces in Alpha's mind, sending a embarrassed flush to color his cheeks. It's almost immediately overruled by anger, as he bares his teeth in a dangerous snarl.

"Breath a word of this to annyone, and i'll dissect you two alive, understood ?"

Terzo only laughs, going up on his tiptoes to press a kiss on Alpha's forehead, like he always does when he teased him enough and wants to appease the fire ghoul.

"Of course, dear, of course, though I'm sure i'd still look fantastic on the slab."

Omega nods at Alpha, crossing himself backward still with that fucking glint in his eyes, before ducking down to press the sealed mouth of his mask against the crown of Terzo's head.

"You would. I can't think of any situation you wouldn't be beautiful."

Now they're just taking the piss, aren't they. Alpha is frowning so bad his face is starting to ache. Terzo seems aware, if his shit-eating grin is anything to go by.

"You flatter me, my love."

With a fake gagging noise, Alpha shoves them away.

"I assure you you wouldn't look that great in a tomb, so you two better piss off before I start digging."

Of fucking course Terzo and Omega saunter away giggling, pinkies entertwined. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Alpha is about to turn back on his heels when his phone pings. He digs it out of his pocket, frowning at the cracked screen. The message is curt, abrupt, so typical of the impatient, technology adverse man it comes from.

My room in fifteen minutes.

Of course, Alpha doesn't have to. If he doesn't show up, Secondo wil just find something else to occupy himself, or maybe jack off on his own if he really is that horny. Despite the tone of the text, Alpha is aware it's more an invitation than an order. But, well. It's not like the fire ghoul has anything more interesting to do...despite the heavy sigh he let out at his own predictability, he slinks off toward Secondo's room with a slight waving of tail. He's careful to use as much secret passages as he can, because Satan forbid he runs into Omega and Terzo again and give them even more amunition.

As he reaches the door to Secondo's room, he feels far too much like a hypocrite, at least until he shakes his head to clear it.

Whatever. At least he has the decency not to make this a public shitshow.

And if Secondo's sharp gaze thrown Alpha's way above the rim of his reading glasses makes the fire ghoul's stomach swoop strangely pleasantly, well. It's a secret he'll take to his grave.

[granny-griffin]

1. There are a lot of people who think they're the only one who would speak up. Imagine what would happen if everyone who thought they were the only one... Spoke. But even if you do think you're alone... Why is antiracism not worth standing alone for?

I mean I think it is, and I’ve done it (or tried to). But I do tend to second guess my interpretation of a situation a lot more if I haven’t seen anybody else say something—maybe people sometimes aren’t sure if what they’re looking at is racist or not, and then decide not to do anything with that uncertainty because it would require thought.

2. There is a difference between feeding the trolls and speaking up when something wrong is happening. Do you feel people are more comfortable assuming the former so that they don't have to interact via the latter?

I think people are taught that the latter only exists in real life, and that if you try to do it in fandom you’re just yucking someone’s yum. People who do the second one generally receive the same kind of pushback as people who do the first one (even though they don’t deserve it).

3. Why do we think that bigotry will go away if it goes unaddressed? Is that how you also feel about bigotry that you experience via your other identities?

Because trolls go away when you don’t pay attention to them. But like you already said in question #2, those situations aren’t the same. People are drawing a false equivalence between the two. And as far as bigotry I experience in fandom—I think I just assume that it will be there and not go away no matter what, and I’m pleasantly surprised when that’s not the case. But that’s not really the point of this.

4. Why should we entertain and prioritize the annoyance of bigots? Why do you not deserve to be here and have a safe, comfortable space any more than they do?

I want to annoy bigots XD I love the excuse. Honestly not sure why more people don’t feel this way on tumblr, the website that’s all about being as annoying as you please.

At the same time, I want the annoyance to come because I’m giving them a message they don’t want to hear, not because I’m also being a jerk about it. Maybe it’s weird, but I care about bigots because they’re people, and their bigotry hurts them too, and I want them to listen to me long enough that they hear what I have to say and change what they’re doing. But even that isn’t a reason to try to keep from offending them—coddling somebody in their bigotry isn’t kind either.

I do think that people often don’t want to offend bigots who are good at creating fanworks, because they look up to them as a creative and/or don’t want to drive their skill away from the fandom. Yeah—the better you are at fanworks, the more you can get away with.

The second question is hitting me really strangely—yes, I think everybody deserves to have a comfortable space, and I want to defend that for others. I don’t know if I care to defend it for myself.

5. What do we plan on doing when Black fans lose their patience due to disillusionment? Are we okay with the outcome of that, of choosing... Well, being racist but safe? (Be honest with yourself!) Would we rather Black fans just accept that it's easier to assume everyone is antiblack, the same way it's easier not to speak up against it as a social norm? If we want to show that there is still a welcome for Black fans, that we are safe, why don't we act to show that?

I mean I plan to listen to them, even if I don’t like the way they’re presenting their frustrations—if somebody’s mad at me for something that I really did (or sat by and failed to stop) then it’s so not my job to critique their attitude.

I don’t think I’m okay with the outcome—that’s why I’ve spoke out in the past—but the parenthetical is psyching me out. Maybe I do ignore things out of fear! I’ll have to keep introspecting.

I don’t want Black fans to assume everyone is against them, and I don’t think other people want that either—but I think fixing the situation requires people to be proactive. I think a lot of people think that just not being antiblack is enough, and then don’t think about it any harder. And so nothing happens, because instead of looking to do something right, people are only trying not to do something wrong.

6. If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack? Have you considered that you cannot adequately judge from within?

YES 100%!! I don’t think we can accurately judge from within! This is one of my biggest struggles—it goes back to my answer to #1. I want to speak out against racism, but even though I’m trying to educate myself so that I can spot it, sometimes I’m really not sure. And calling somebody racist feels like a really big accusation—if it lands publicly in the right way it could get somebody blocked by all their friends. I wouldn’t want to do it to mistakenly. So I’ve been trying to watch and see when Black people call out racism so that I can amplify/support what they’re already saying.

But maybe we need also to have a less all or nothing approach? If we aren’t sure if someone is being racist, we could start a more private conversation to tell them about our concerns, and see if their response sheds any light on the situation. Sometimes I ask people leading questions about their thought process when making something instead of just telling them to quit being racist.

Inevitably, no matter what I do, I worry that I’m not using the right level of forcefulness. But I guess sitting here and angsting about the appropriateness of my approach is still better than doing nothing.

7. No one really answered my "what is the boundary" question at all. What I should have asked is, are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?

Yes, and I think it’s tied to my struggle to judge situations. There’s a certain threshold of racism under which I can’t identify it with enough accuracy to feel comfortable making a callout. But again—maybe “public callout” and “do nothing” are not the only two possible responses.

Okay so after sitting on the responses from yesterday's question, I have some follow up questions to what seemed to be some consistent... Themes in the answers.

Like yesterday, I am asking with intent to listen (and maybe ask more questions) so I will not be arguing- at best, you'll get a "hm" to acknowledge i saw what you said.

My follow up questions:

1. There are a lot of people who think they're the only one who would speak up. Imagine what would happen if everyone who thought they were the only one... Spoke. But even if you do think you're alone... Why is antiracism not worth standing alone for?

2. There is a difference between feeding the trolls and speaking up when something wrong is happening. Do you feel people are more comfortable assuming the former so that they don't have to interact via the latter?

3. Why do we think that bigotry will go away if it goes unaddressed? Is that how you also feel about bigotry that you experience via your other identities?

4. Why should we entertain and prioritize the annoyance of bigots? Why do you not deserve to be here and have a safe, comfortable space any more than they do?

5. What do we plan on doing when Black fans lose their patience due to disillusionment? Are we okay with the outcome of that, of choosing... Well, being racist but safe? (Be honest with yourself!) Would we rather Black fans just accept that it's easier to assume everyone is antiblack, the same way it's easier not to speak up against it as a social norm? If we want to show that there is still a welcome for Black fans, that we are safe, why don't we act to show that?

6. If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack? Have you considered that you cannot adequately judge from within?

7. No one really answered my "what is the boundary" question at all. What I should have asked is, are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?

*I also want to note that I'm not directing this to Black fans. I know that the context changes when you have to fight. I'm asking the people who have the privilege of fighting antiblackness while not having the identity. I.e. some marginal power in the area.

[little2nerdy]

ik that nora said that andrew and neil don’t say i love you, but i disagree (to a certain extent) here’s why:

as a demisexual and demiromantic person i never put much weight in that phrase, it’s just something i said to my friends and my family and my pets and the inanimate objects that matter to me. however when i was in my first serious relationship i rarely said it. even though i had told them i loved them when we were just friends i stopped. it felt heavier. i think neil who had probably never heard the phrase directed toward him until he met and befriended the foxes would have a hard time saying it to andrew.

it’s really hard sometimes as someone on the ace spectrum to accept you feel that way about someone when you never/rarely have before. it feels like a lie or that maybe you’re faking it.

additionally andrew was probably told during many traumatic childhood experiences that what was being done to him was out of care or love and probably didn’t want to associate that phrase with his relationship with neil bc of the nasty connections to those terrible experiences.

but i think after a lot of growth, and therapy, and trust, they do say it, maybe not as frequently as other couples but they do say it, and when they do it means so much more.

[gluion]

pretty please — jacob bae

pairing — jacob bae x fem!reader genre — strangers to lovers, suggestive (minors dni) wc — 1.5k insipired by — bed chem by sabrina carpenter // pretty please by dua lipa misc/warnings — alcohol consumption, sexual tension, pet names (good girl), reader wears makeup, grinding in a public place... ehem..., dirty talk, making out, hickeys note — badcob... save me, badcob... gluion deobi writer renaissance for badcob and we have to thank @kimsohn for requesting :p thank u for letting me remember why i love writing for tbz, esp jacob <3

synopsis — you make every possible excuse in the book to explain your tinder match’s tardiness. yet, you find yourself meeting a man who screams of innocence—until you find yourself at his mercy.

you think someone’s watching you.

at first, it came in the form of an itch you can’t reach until it morphed into a chill running down your spine. one look back, no one behind you. another look back, only a couple who wanted to grab a drink from the bartender.

you’d like to think it could be someone you were in the same organization with, maybe even someone you shared a class with, but you were far from the clubs that your university would infiltrate. you were somewhere entirely new, filled with employed folks, for a tinder match.

a first date in a bar isn’t one you would agree to, really, but you couldn’t deny the man with the cat eyes. after all, you still couldn’t believe he matched with you. the last thing you wanted is to shut the connection down.

but it’s been a good two hours since the agreed meet-up time, at least four glasses of margaritas in your system, and there was no sight of him. 

you should wait. what if he was dealing with some motorcycle issues? did his cat need to be brought to the clinic for an emergency? every excuse possible and you’ll accept it. 

a chill runs down your spine.

your eyes dart everywhere, hoping to spot your tinder match you’ve been waiting for—until they meet wide, brown ones.

across the bar stands a man dressed in a grey tank top with a black jacket over. surrounded by a group of boys who break into laughter, he pays no attention to their conversation. it’s only when he takes a sip from his drink that brings you to look away.

your skin grows hot; the only solution you have is to drink some more. 

you’ve downed your fifth glass of margarita for the night, and you still need more.

“bartender, give me one more.” at his nod, you’re ready to pull out a couple of bills, until a waft of lavender enters your nose. a glass is set down beside you.

“i’ll pay.”

you look up to see the same man from across the bar. up close, you can trace his features; soft jawline, soft skin, soft lips. he takes a seat beside you before asking, “care if i stay with you?”

it’s not that you find him unattractive. he just doesn’t fall under your usual types; those who had a sharp gaze with the goal of ruining you seemed to be the ones you gravitated towards.

everything about him screams an innocent man—and your tinder date is far from that.

“uh,” you clear your throat, “i have a date.”

his eyebrows scrunch together. “really? where are they? because i’ve seen you with no one the whole night.”

“well, he’s late, i think,” you whisper the last phrase.

you expect the stranger to laugh at you. it wouldn’t be the first time a man bothered you at a club. yet, he smiles. “then, can i keep you company? maybe wait for him with you?”

although you would grow annoyed at this type of persistence, you find yourself enjoying his presence. “don’t you think he’d see you and think that i ditched him?”

your order for another martini is placed in front of you.

“if he were a real man, he’d come up and let me know,” he says as he slides a couple of bills to the bartender. “besides, a real man wouldn’t leave you waiting.”

you muster out a bitter laugh before taking a sip of your drink. “okay, and what does that make you?”

his eyes flicker to the lipstick stain. “why don’t you find out yourself?”

seconds go by.

“well, do you have a name?”

he smiles. “jacob.”

“y/n.”

jacob hums as he leans on the bar. “so, who is this date?”

“just someone i matched with on tinder.”

“first date?” at your hum, jacob chuckles in disbelief. “you decided on the place?”

you roll your eyes. “have some faith in me.”

jacob shakes his head. “well, y/n, i don’t know enough about you.” he swishes the contents in his cup. before the rim can meet his lips, he says, “but that can change tonight.”

you’re not sure if the alcohol is taking a toll on you or the packed crowd raising the temperatures; your skin grows hot and jacob might be to blame. 

“so, i’m guessing he’s the one that chose the place.”

you nod at his assumption. as he grips his glass, arms resting on the bartop, your eyes trace the details; well-defined forearms and slender fingers.

despite talking about your tinder match, your mind drifts away from him. instead, it’s filled with images of the stranger beside you; arms strong enough to hold you up against the wall, hands that could leave bruises all over your hips, fingers that know how to ruin you until you’re on the verge of tears. you’re entranced by the sight of his fingers drumming against the table. every tap causes the pool in between your legs to grow.

his biceps tense up, and your breath hitches.  

“i would’ve never imagined a club for a first date.” when you meet his gaze, you spot a smirk plastered on his face, like he caught you in the act.

maybe jacob isn’t like the image you made him up to be.

“trust me, i wouldn’t have also.” your finger traces the rim of your glass, collecting some salt. 

he nods along with the beat of the music. “then what made you say yes?”

a beat passes.

“i’ve got needs,” you admit before popping your salt-covered digit into your mouth.  

he tongues the inside of his cheek, and you wonder how well he could eat you out; all the highs you could achieve all thanks to the licks against your clit. “really?” as he leans forward, your senses grow hazy over the scent of lavender, over the alcohol consumed, over the intoxicating presence of jacob. he stares right at you before taking a glance at your lips. “i wonder if he can really fulfill those needs.”

a bit of corruption swirls in jacob.

once you pop out your finger, you down the rest of your cocktail, staring right back at jacob who follows you. with drinks finished, you get off your seat and grab hold of his arm.

you drag him through the dance floor until your back hits a wall. you and jacob were not far from the sweaty crowd, still surrounded by those who are far too drunk to care about you two. yet, your hands reach out to his hoodie, and his hands plant against the wall.

a mix of red and orange strobes cast over your figures. even under the lack of white light, you take in jacob’s features. most of it still speak of gentleness, but his eyes scream otherwise—the type of look that makes you want to submit to his mercy.

“thought you were going to take me dancing,” jacob remarks. his hands trail down your face until it rests on the side of your neck. “maybe make your date jealous if he saw me with you.”

“you think you could do that, huh? think you could make the guy i was going to hook up with jealous of you?”

it’s a genuine question for the stranger you can’t stop thinking about. is jacob the definition of innocence?

he smirks before leaning closer. his breath grazes against your lips. “i think he should be jealous.”

your lips crash against his, hands bringing his body close to yours. his palms find their spot on your waist, reaching under your shirt and relishing in your warmth. your noses bump against each other in desperation.

the alcohol tells you that you need him closer, so your hands tug on his clothes. once his hips are flushed against yours, you grind on his cock, feeling it grow harder with every rock. the pool in between your legs grows; a wet patch on your panties. his hands find their spot on your ass, guiding every roll of your hips against his dick.

your senses are floating from the lack of oxygen. as you pull away from the kiss, you and jacob try to catch your breaths. but both your hips don’t stop from its ministrations. all you needed is any pressure on your clit.

“need you. now.”

he chuckles before letting his lips trail down your neck. he sucks on your skin, tongue darting out to leave marks all over you. your eyes shut close as you grow dizzy.

“want me to take you right here? surrounded by people?” as you let out a moan of desperation, jacob’s fingers dig into your skin. “what about your date?”

“i don’t care about him. i haven’t since you came.”

he lets out a hum in contentment of your revelation. “such a good girl for me.”

the pet name causes you to whine. as your grinding starts to go at an inconsistent rhythm, jacob doesn’t guide your hips anymore. your eyes open, hands gripping against his clothes.

“not here.” before you can beg him otherwise, he says, “can’t have others looking at you. you’re mine for the night.”

jacob is far from an innocent man—that’s all you need.

networks tag list: @kflixnet @k-labels @deoboyznet @kstrucknet

tbz permanent tag list: @winterchimez @mosviqu @stealanity (the only ones i was sure of who weren't minors)

[deesseshesca]

PAC What lesson is this situationship trying to slide into my DMs? (18+)

You are stuck giving all that you got ...

ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (BLACK FRIDAY OFFER)

PILE 1 

Y’all are POC. 

You use your love to destroy. Stop talking with me by using bad poetry. Enough is enough. Y’all should stick to math. Not everyone that loves Lana Del Rey is meant to be a big writer. Some are meant to be engineer and is ok pile 1. Your guys are gashlighter, manipulators, whore but never broke. Y’all will use love to eat something. I feel like y’all just get in a relationship to get free food. I just got a vision of somebody in their pj in their bed choosing from their roaster who is going to have the pleasure to pay for their food. Some of y’all are staying with your cheater of a partner because they always offer amazing gifts when they feel guilty. Designer bad, baecation and concert ticket. Y’all may be in a relationship and you still fucking on your boy bff. I just heard y’all say ‘’ You always need to keep an eater close (wink)’’. You felt so safe to share that with me … Anyways Pile 1 … stop being a red flag. (Hum .. hum before y’all retirer can u show me how ? (my spirit guys looking at me) What ? You would do it 2 for a check …) 

2. You need to stop being dumb. Y’all need to be more careful. You're out there with a restaurant name in your contact, you don’t delete text and nudes. When your partner finds out you stay defensive when you are caught on 4k. I just got a vision of your sex tape and we can see you clearly, giggle and  shit. Not y’all in your Kim K era. Babe you're not Future and a tower moment is coming your way. Yes. you will pay for all the heartbreak you did. So enjoy because what’s about to hit is inevitable. C’mon you did not think this playing around is going to last forever. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

Text

The person you are currently messing with, they love to keep up with you. They love to text you throughout the day the most basic things. They love to send you memes, tiktoks, reels. Y’all may even still be doing Streaks. They love taking pictures of you without you knowing it. They love your face when you are focused on a task or doing your homework. They love sending you money. Unlike Pile 2, your person loves when you are asking them instead of them giving it to you. Is like they love to feel and hear in some shape way or form that they are needed in your life. Almost like they are in competition with other suitors and they think that they are winning. 

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2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

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PILE 2

I’m getting a very sinister vibe from y’all. Y’all are maybe worshipers of Lucifer or be very deep into the goth culture. Y’all may be self-harming or you are going through extreme depression . Y’all may have lost someone extremely close to you. 

This is a DUAL POV. Your partner came in  fucking strong and did not want to let me go. But I don’t ever feel like they are going to be reading this, that’s why for their POV, I still use ‘’ They’’. 

Feminine Energy. 

You need to learn to accept the love you give out. You have a heart full of love and you are not scared to pour it into other people's cups but when it comes to you, you are nowhere to be found. You keep everyone at arm length while genuinely being there for them. You will always be an open ear for them. You don’t mind tagging along to a very scary appointment if he needs it.  You don’t mind staying awake on the phone because they have night terrors. You don’t even mind giving your all in the bedroom. You always make sure they are pleased. You always make sure they know they are loved and their voice matters. They especially love when  you give them head. Your mouth feels amazing. They think you are gorgeous when you are going down on them. Your hair in a ponytail so they can truly enjoy the beauty of your face (Ok.. Pile 2 … Face cards never decline !). They love to see your eyes full of lust while your mouth is sweet like honey. I’m hearing:’’ Ok now I am going to suck. Baby you tell me if you need me to stop.’’ After you are done give them a handjob. In my vision they are still fully clothed (even have their coat on (Damm y’all not even going to take off the coat… Not y’all fucking in winter attire)). But when is their turn, no show. I’m hearing : ‘’ My turn now’’. You are still in your panties and a big t-shirt. ‘’ Nah … I’m ok…’’ you put yourself under the cover. That makes them feel like a piece of shit. I feel like y’all be doing that because you don’t think you have a pretty pussy. But babe… is more than sex. You refuse to admit that you care. You tell them the only reason you cuddle is because you are cold. You tell them the only reason you go on a drive at night is because you hate driving but love music. The only reason you help them study is to make sure you understand the subject enough. You give love while making sure he knows that it is not that deep. That kind of hurt. 

Stop making your partner feel useless. The person that you are dealing with doesn't feel needed in your life. You treat them like you can’t depend on them. Some of you even walk 45 minutes from your house to school (even in high heels from home to work) because your car broke down. Instead of calling them to pick you, they find out when you got there. It really wasn’t your intention to make them frustrated or scared for you. Some of you ignore them when life goes hard. When depression  hits a tap a bit too much and you are in bed incapable of communicating with the outside world. They would love you to at least text I am ok but can’t talk right now. Make them feel like shit that you don't think they are worth enough to open up. When you need help you don’t ask for them. When you want space you disappear. 

3. They hate the way you don’t defend yourself. It might be specific to people with abusive families. If your parents are physically abusive, I’m seeing : Both of y’all cuddle in his bedroom (he may have red cover) and he asks why you are shivering but you brush it off with ‘’ Oh, I’m cold’’. But really the contact of your clothes with the wounds hurt. They cuddle you but you don’t relax, actually you get stiffer. You try to not make them look under your shirt but they saw it all. I’m hearing y’all tell me; ‘’ It happened one time !’’. They are answering; ‘’ One to many fucking time.’’. You are not lying it was a one time type of shit but still it was fucking mess up. The one with the abusive verbal parents, I got a vision of them going through your phone. At first they thought it was a boy blowing up your phone (y’all have another name for your mom in your phone) but actually it was your mom telling the worst kind of shit. I hope you slowly, I should have never kept you, you are nothing but a useless slut. Then you walk in and you brush it off. ‘’ Until I found out it was because of some fucking dishes.’’ (Well thank you for the input, maybe soon to be bf). Anyways no matter the scenario, they fucking hate the fact that u refuse to anything because you know it will only get worse. They are in your life to show you that babe … this is the worst. You are trying to save yourself from the worst while living in it. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

 Treats 

They love doing stuff for you. Especially with their hands. Some of you have verbally abusive and alcoholic mothers. One day she went in your room and mess it the fuck up. And your men re-purchase a vanity and build it for you. It was a mini (huge) surprise for you. They may have also helped you set up your bed frame. They also like to bake for you. They love to go pick up your Starbucks orders and bring it to your school (some of y’all may go to cosmetology school). They hate when you use your money and you hate using their money. They are so petty, they just say ‘’ Well your money is for everything your mom broke … my money is for you’’. Not them shutting you up on Tumblr, Sir…They love treating you like princess. The reason … is your smile. When you smile it is like a whole sun is on their phone (they may have your face as their lock screen),in their bedroom, in the car. LOOOOL ! You are like the sun in the teletubbies. 

Masculine energy. 

Not them asking for a whole reading for themself. Sir… please go book on Ko-fi. Out here making me work extra on an empty stomach (smh). 

They are going through a hard phase in their depression. 

They can’t imagine a future with you. HA ! Don’t be scared. I just saw someone holding their heart… Lol. ‘’ Well you could have worded it differently …’’ Sir, this is my blog … CAN A GIRL CLICKBAIT IN FUCKING PEACE ? Girl, come get your man, he is getting on my nerves. You can let go of your tits. What actually is happening is they don’t think they are going to make it past a certain age. Stop holding your tit … (I’m just clickbaiting rn … sometimes I enjoy being dramatic … what ? I am a writer after all). People around them  always seem to die at a specific age because of their mental health, substance abuse or misery. But there’s age in their family in which most don’t pass and in the state they are in … they don’t think they are going to be different. Maybe their bff ended their life and they think they are next. That destiny only enjoys torturing them. They see you old and gray with your teletubbies smile running around in your backyard (hum… weird…) but it is like from the bottom of their soul they think they will be there. 

They don’t know their light. You came into their life to show them that there’s more good in them than they think. Maybe they are from a family where there’s more people in jail than free. Or more people die more because of addiction than old age. So all their life nobody gives a damn about them. Why would they care for the mess up kid in the fucked up family ? Is like they are multiple generations of fucked up. You showed them their light. The fact that they always answer your call no matter the time, they also serve you, they also go to work for you. All those actions prove their love but also their commitment at being better than the rest. They know how to budget, keep a job, take care of their health, etc. They just need the right motivation. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

 Trauma bonding

First they love you. Second, their intentions are pure. It is just that my question can give a bit of a clickbait vibe, y’all know that I live for the drama (rarely … I just hate basic questions …). You are their safe place. They love having sex with. They love seeing in red lingerie.  They love the push up bra, the extremely thin pantie, the stocking, the way you did your hair and makeup just to end up being a sucking them the fuck up. They also love when you are drooling with spit from how big they are. They love touching you. They love cuddling you. I don’t feel like y’all make love. Y’all are way more rough in between the sheets. They love aftercare. They love taking care of you. They love taking a towel and cleaning you up or running a bath for the both of y’all. They love taking a shower with you (it may be mandatory activity everytime y’all sleepover to their house). They love cuddling you. They just love you ! They hate any kind of space between y’all. You are the only person to whom they open up too. They love the fact that you never rush them. They love the fact that you try to give them tips to cope in a better way. They love the fact that you believe they can be a better man. 

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PILE 3

You guys are the children of divorce parents. They always took care of you. You always had the newest clothes and shoes. You always had the newest technology gadgets. They put you in private school and you had a luxurious car as a gift. Yet, you grew up watching your dad being abusive very severely to your mom physically. You swore you were going to be different … but  here we are….  I don’t think y’all are physically violent to anyone but your anger is something. Is not like is coming out of no where but the stuff y’all do when you are loosing it is fucking questionable. If it was not for your beauty and money … y’all would be in JAIL ! 

Y’all need to learn to what the fuck a patnership is. You don’t like when people tell you what to do. Well sometimes it is needed. Also I am getting that a person just stating their opinion can piss you off. But ruffling feathers is part of  a relationship. Is also the fault of your partner because how is he/she going to get mad at you because you attract attention. Like you are a pretty boy/girl so for sure you are going to attract isn’t how they got you. Getting mad at you because you are wearing a short skirt like they were not in the same instagram profile liking that very same picture of you in it. You can’t get mad at baddie consequences when you bag one. On the other hand the way you show that anger ain’t it. The screaming, the destroying or even the blocking his/her phone number no, no , no. Y’all need to create a safe place to communicate and allow opinions that hurt you. Because in a safe place every emotion is valuable even if it is not factual. Is for both of y’all to find a way to explain yourself with love and care. 

2. With kind intention ONLY…Y’all need therapy because that’s the reason you can’t keep nobody close. Is not just that person is a friend, coworker, or even family member. I know you want someone to see past all that anger because you are so much more than that. You are brilliant, you are pretty, you are elegant, you speak multiple languages, you are multi-talented, you are excellent at study, you have great life hygiene, you are kind and extremely giving but girl… that monster inside of you needs to be tame. There’s only so much that a rage room can do. I know it is not your fault … your parents made you that way. With the constant screaming, beating, and even choking. It’s so fuck up to be responsable for a healing from trauma we never ask for. But not doing it is going to cost you all the love you are meant to receive. 

3. Stop suppressing your emotions. This situationship makes you realize how bad your emotional state actually is. Because being in a relationship with someone put you in a situation where all your triggers are in the open. You can’t run away, you can’t act like nothing is going on, you can’t play it cool. Because everything is too much, you feel too much so act impulsively. From the exterior, you have that facade of the perfect child. That front is a huge source of stress. You wish it to be true but you know damn well that you are far from it. You are always one trigger away from breaking your protection. That’ s a fucking source of stress on it’s on. Admit that you are angry and mad. Being always happy is killing you slowly. Y’all make me think of the red hair in Desperate Housewive. 

4. Gradual numbness. Since reacting doesn't work for you. When you are mad all the people in your life tend to forget all the good you did to them and all the good living within you. You are slowly running in a hole of feeling nothing. Going from feeling too much to feeling nada. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding? 

Text

They love texting you. Honestly I feel y’all recently broke up but even if it has been a while they still love you so much. They are rooting for you. They also love the fact that the only communication between y’all 2 is texting. They can’t handle all you are but that does not mean they don’t love all of you 2. They love staying on the phone talking about everything. They love how educated you are on many subjects. They love your voice. Damm do they love your voice. Y’all have a pretty voice. They would never admit it but they love your voice even when  you are yelling at them. They love your moan and they still masturbate to your voice audio. Y’all may still practice phone sex because they can’t have enough of you. You are genuinely the most perfect human they've ever seen. Rightfully so, y’all have a very proportionate body, beautiful brown eyes and full tits. They have flashbacks of touching you not in a sexual way but they miss having their hand on you. You have one of the softest skin. 

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)

[dani-ya-dig]

Something that I really love about Sam, and have always loved since I listened to his first video, is how he entirely subverts the expectations for vampires. Not just modern day ones but the expectations that have always been there for vampires.

(And his southern accent but that’s not what this post is about)

When vampires first rose to popularity, what they represented was a fear of sexuality. They were inherently sexual creatures of the night who lured innocent people into the shadows with their powers of seduction only to drink their blood.

We even see this in most of the redacted vampires. Vincent was literally introduced as “the flirty vampire”. While later he was given some depth and we learn that he just picked up that act from Porter, it was still an integral part of him in the beginning. Even Alexis, as little from her as we have heard, she speaks in a very low, sultry tone. Even when she isn’t trying to be flirtatious.

This is a very inherent part of vampires some lore even describes it as a power that they have. (I believe this is addressed within Castle Audios lore as “the lure”)

But Sam doesn’t have that. He isn’t flirty. He isn’t seductive. Not in the traditional way anyways. (Because HOO BOY AM I SEDUCED)

Sam doesn’t try to lure Darlin in when they first meet. He doesn’t really try to lure darlin at all, really. They just naturally grew close. It was active flirtation, it was just chemistry and care.

Even when they do admit their feelings for each other Sam still doesn’t want to have sex. He hadn’t for over a decade, and the last person he had sex with stole his life away from him. Of course he didn’t feel comfortable.

And I think this all helps to portray the most important part of Sam’s backstory.

He wasn’t supposed to be a vampire.

He never planned on being turned. He didn’t want Alexis to turn him. He never wanted to be that.

The same could be said for Vincent, he didn’t wanted to be turned either. He wasn’t given a choice. However, Vincent still took on that flirty vampire persona.

I think this illustrates the difference in how Vincent and Sam grew into their turning over time. Vincent, while extremely depressed in the beginning of his turning, grew into it. He eventually learned to accept himself as a vampire, and even embrace it. I think him taking on that traditional, flirty vampire act, was his way of embracing what he now was.

Lovely’s part in Vincent’s character growth, rather than teaching him to accept himself as a vampire, was helping him to learn that he didn’t have to be someone new just because his mortal self is dead.

Sam, while he accepted the fact that he was a vampire passively, he never really embraced it as part of himself. I think this is really well illustrated by how he handled feeding before he fed from Darlin. “I’ve never been one to savor the taste. I just chug it like a supplement and pour a cup of something I actually like the taste of”. (That was paraphrased pls don’t hurt me if I got something wrong). He accepts that he needs blood to survive but he is going to incorporate it into his life passively, and focus on the things he actually likes. He accepts that he is a vampire, but he won’t take it as a part of himself.

I think this is even shown well in Sam choice to “chose morality” (as it was put in the trigger warnings of that one video, still hung up on that btw) rather than live forever. He accepts that he is immortal, but he isn’t going to embrace it.

To Sam vampirism isn’t a part of himself, it’s just something that was done to him. Like a giant scar that covers his body, his face, his eyes, even his core. It still isn’t him.

The way that Darlin plays into Sam’s character growth, I think has potential to change this and I think it’s something interesting to explore.

So far Darlin already has played a pretty big part in Sam’s character growth. Before meeting them he was closed off. Isolating himself from pretty much everyone but a few people in his clan. Darlin has brought him out of that. He now has people, he has the pack. While he does love Vincent and Lovely (and possibly Fred and Bright but we will never know what happened with them), it’s important to have people outside of the ones that you are forced to interact with by circumstance. Especially if said circumstances are horribly traumatic for you.

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, and all that.

However, I think Darlin inadvertently helping Sam to embrace the vampiric aspects of himself is interesting concept. Especially now that Sam has fed from Darlin, and enjoyed it, and saw how much his mate enjoyed. I think Sam slowly accepting vampirism is absolutely a possibility in the future.

If it ever happens or not I will still adore Sam’s character all the same.

Anyways this was a really long winded way of explaining that I like how Sam subverts the typical tropes with vampires, and I appreciate how it ties into his turning being non-consensual. I like to rant if people haven’t picked up on that already lmao.

Also I miss my girlfriend. Erik bring Sam back home immediately.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Nov 21st

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1. Hello! I'm trying to find a fic that I've read a long time ago. it was a modern/reincarnation au where Wei Ying is hired at an academy as a (history?) teacher but is unaware that the academy that hired him is actually a modern cultivation school where they practice cultivation secretly and learn the history of the canon mdzs timeline... Also Wei Ying can see ghosts/spirits. Thanks! @sheepie9967

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2. Hi, I am looking for a smut fic. Lan Zhan is having an orgy with multiple versions of Wèi Wúxiàn, including a yiling laozu version, and Lan Zhan is pregnant. Eventually even more Wei Yings show up.

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3. Hello!! I am trying to find a WangXian fanfiction, but I really can't seem to find it. From what I remember, it was an arranged marriage when they were about fifteen, they haven't met each other yet as it was pre-cloud recesses study arc. The Gusu Lan Sect came to Lotus Pier to negotiate the betrothal. WWX made a condition before accepting it, he wanted to duel LWJ to see if he was worthy or not. I think it also has some JFM, YZY critical/bashing/canon characteristics. @lonelynebula5149

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4. Hi so this fic is that wwx take Wēn Yuàn to Jin ling 100 month celebration with him and there's this particular scene where he comes in jin tower with Jin what's his face that has the 100 souls curse and the peacock

And Wēn Yuàn was clutching his robes and they were all arguing until leader Nie shuts everyone up and then Ask wwx to show them his chest so wwx hands his little radish too the ghost general and show everyone his chest that's a scene that I could simply remember @constancebloodstone

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5. Hiiii! Hope you're having a great day/night! So I've looking for this one particular fic in which wy see lz with a woman who had her hand around his elbow while walking together on night then smells some foreign sweet smell on him in another night plus lz keeps coming home late so he starts thinking that lz is cheating on him but instead of getting angry he feels hurt and start blaming himself and thinking ofc lz is perfect so he deserves someone just as perfect and beautiful and eventually he confronts lz about it then find out that he was just escorting an elder Immortal ancestor wtv and spending time with her before she chose to end her Immortality since she lost her will to live after all her beloved ones died during her seclusion

FOUND! White Flag by incendir (T, 37k, WangXian, NHS/NZH, OMC/ OMC)

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6. Thank you for existing! I'm looking for a fic, modern au, where it turns out the reason Wei Ying got hit by a car (I think it was a car) was because he's deaf/hard of hearing on one ear so he didn't hear it coming. The cause of his damaged hearing is physical abuse from Madam Yu. Please help! @ilolatthis

FOUND! misunderstood 'verse by sysrae (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, getting hit by cars, Past Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Abusive YZY, Caring LWJ, Injured WWX, partial hearing loss, the real OTP is everyone x therapy)

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7. I'm begging you to help me. I cannot for the life of me find the fic in which Lan Zhan has been asked by his brother to act in a PSA that Xichen wants to film at school, where he works. Xichen always ends up having sex with everyone at work, so when Wei Ying, a teacher at the school, comes in as Lan Zhan's scene partner, Lan Zhan assumes Xichen and Wei Ying have slept together. The PSA is about global warming, carbon emissions, etc. They shoot the scene several times and each time they get increasingly familiar with each other. The shooting ends with Wei Ying asking Lan Zhan out.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP

FOUND? Worship you till morning comes by feyburner (E, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Meet-Cute, First Dates, First Time, Fluff, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Falling In Love)

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8. Hi! I only remember one specific scene from the story I'm looking for. Modern AU, JC and WWX are yelling at each other, and JC says something like "where did you get these stupid self-deprecating ideas/ the idea that you're not wanted in this family from" and WWX goes, in the same tone as a grade schooler, "your mom."

JC: NOT FUNNY.

WWX: IT KINDA IS THOUGH

And then they both cry and laugh at the same time and that's the reconciliation.

I think the main story might have been Wangxian? Pretty sure I only read that back then, but I can't remember anything else and I've looked everywhere. @rights-for-redshirts

FOUND? say it’s here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn (E, 68k, wangxian, Family Feels, Modern, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kid Fic, Adoption, Foster Care, most of the angst is backstory and we’re working through it, several characters have had therapy thank god, there’s a good amount of domestic fluff but also a lot of crying, Often at the same time, oh yeah eventually there will be smut, possibly also with crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Podfic Available)

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9. Hi again, Team! I’m going to feel absolutely /stupid/ but there was a fic I read where LZ secretly rates other people’s dicks & WY keeps trying to score 10/10 but is unable to do so. The only other things I can recall are NHS had a starring role & WX got together at the end! Any help would be appreciated! @arisuamichan

FOUND? Thank You for Submitting by westiec (M, 3k, WangXian, Dick Pics, Getting Together, Humor, NHS is here too, but he's mostly offscreen, Modern, United States, Podfic Available)

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10. For fic finders: the start of it is that a class of lans including LWJ were affected by a curse placed on the platform/building they were in and WWX and LXC tried taking them to the cold pond

That doesn’t work so they head off to LWJ to see how he’s handling it and the two Lans wonder why WWX doesn’t seem to be affected when he was also there. He laughs his way through having the same mental fortitude or whatever as LWJ before just coming out and saying that no one noticed he’s been missing his core for years and without a core it didn’t affect him

I think the curse was placed by JGY but that was kinda secondary detailing since WWX and LWJ got together because of this situation. A completed one shot, no multi chapter casefics here

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11. Hi! Please help me find this fic. I'm becoming desperate! Wei Wuxian is somehow turned into a kid. Some plot happens and Wei Wuxian turns back into an adult but in his original body and everyone is shook by this turn of events. They celebrate or something and then at the end WangXian adopt a baby named Yanli and the juniors and Jiang Cheng adore her. Please I loved it but firgot to bookmark it and can't seem to find it 😭 @pancakeshitdifferentat4am

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12. hi im looking for a wangxian fic i read a while ago and i cant find it so i forgot the name but i remember that lan wangji lost his golden core he was attacked by wen zhuliu on his way back to cloud recesses after he and wei ying were rescued from the xuanwu cave , he manages to kill wen zhuliu but he lost his core and wei ying was the one to find him. thats all i remember i hope you can help me find it . Thank you so much in advance.

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13. Hello! I've had this scene running through my head from a fic that I, for the life of me, can't find.

It's a canon divergence fic where WWX brings the Wens to Gusu and humanizes them to the rest of the cultivation world in the proceas. The fic talks about PTSD and I could have sworn I bookmarked it but here we are! The scene I can't forget is:

On the way there, WWX makes A-Yuan a whistle that he can blow whenever he's afraid. At first the whistle blows often, but eventually A-Yuan gets more comfortable.

Any help would be most appreciated, thank you! @theonlysureprediction

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14. heLLO its my first time doing this and ive no idea how tumblr works im usually just here to browse

anyways just the other day i read the desc of a fanfic where wwx was forced to top by a lz who was riding him and wwx was yelling hELP rAPE RAPE IM BEING RAPED lol

but i forgot to bookmark it and now i cant find it if you could help PLSS thank u ily guys🥺😭

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15. Okay so this will be for fic finder.

I swear I had this bookmarked but I spent 2 hours searching and can't find it at all.

What I remember is that wwx makes a clay doll for a-yuan. It falls into the lotus pond, but falls apart. A-yuan is distraught, of course. Sometime during the following night though wwx is woken up by a baby screaming. The burial mounds somehow turned the clay baby to a real baby girl. Wwx raises her and she ends up going to koi tower with him. I think wangji escorts wwx, the baby, and wen ning??

Please help me find this! @grainstealingthot

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16. for ficfinder

I swear I have thus marked some where but I just can't find it

it'd the fic where lsz/wen yuan has a twin who's raised by lwj and lwj n wwx think that the other twin died. it's a parent trap au @bunnycoffeeumcat

FOUND? 🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst, [Podfic] kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by contributor-sky (deepestbluesky), esbielle was also here (esbielle), glittercracker, GodOfLaundryBaskets, jellyfishfire, kisahawklin, Koontyme, Rionaa, semperfiona))

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17. i have not used tumblr so sorry if i am asking in the wrong place- but i am going crazy trying to find this fic! it has some explicit scenes, it is an omega/alpha type fic, where alpha lan xichen and omega wei wuxian are married. alpha lan zhan lives with them, but struggles seeing/hearing their intimacy and closeness because he was attracted to wei ying on their first meeting. wei ying gets drunk and sleeps with lan zhan thinking hes lan huan twice while lan huan is gone, but claims to forget

FOUND? they call me homewrecker by sweetlolixo (E, 12k, XiXian, WangXian, Modern AU, Omegaverse, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Pining LWJ, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dubious Consent, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual WangXian)

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18. Hello, I have another request please, there was a modern day no powers fic where WWX was a baker, who also delivered his cakes, idk what kind of social media he had, because all I remember a girl was looking at his post and he leaned in and said smth like "that Yiling Patriarch is pretty cute" or smth, and there was a skateboard, maybe? That's all I got. Thank you so much!

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19. Hello!!! Thank you for your hard work!!!!

I'm looking for a fic where it mostly canon compliant but the only thing I vividly remember it's that when LWJ appear at the Mo Mansión to rescue the Junior it's that he has some grey/white hairs and maybe it was a omega verse (not very sure about that).

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20. Hi. I’ve been trying to find a fic where WWX decides to take the imperial examinations, live as a magical farmer in the south and later found out Wei Changze was the son of the Emperor and WWX ends up taking in the young princes for tutoring. Also I don’t remember how he meets LWJ but they ended up being engaged and the Emperor sends like Imperial Auditors to the sects because of what happened to his grandson… It may or may not be a time travel fix-it, can’t quite remember 😫 @skycookie472

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[yesterdayiwrote]

btw Whatsapp is holding a 'women in motorsports' dinner and Carmen is the host, which is a choice, and a effing weird one at that. there's so many women in motorsports out there to host something like that, whatsapp is Doriane's sponsor after all.

(I got two asks on this so not sure if you accidentally sent it twice anon, or if you have a thought twin somewhere!)

Yeahhhh, I've seen that and I feel exactly the same as you do on the matter, and what's annoying is I feel like we've had this exact argument about what constitutes a 'woman in motorsport' before, back when Puma put Carlos' ex gf in an ad campaign with the tag line, and Kelly was in Vogue with the same title, and yet STILL brands are doing this lazy feminism and tone deafness.

It's unfortunate that this criticism comes sharp on the heels of the book nonsense, because it gives the opportunity for it to get dismissed as 'hate' when really it's not about which wag is doing it this time, it's about the fact that brands want to appear like they're uplifting women, whilst just further imposing the limitations and boundaries they claim to be fighting against.

I get why she would accept. She's not ultimately the problem in this instance (although I have some questions about how many Merc sponsors she's suddenly partnering with, in a way that we don't see from other wags. It's giving heavy nepo and idk that it's a great look, or really aligning with her financial independence schtick she's been pushing - come on girl have some awareness)

As you say there are COUNTLESS women in motorsport who would have been a great pick to put their name to this. Women who have genuinely fought through and overcome the patriarchal hurdles that motorsport poses in order to take their place on the grid or in the paddock. Wags have not done that. Their paddock pass is afforded them purely on the basis of who they know and they do not represent women who have faced an uphill battle to be seen and heard in a male dominated industry.

And this is where the Wag culture obsession really grinds my gears, because brands do know this and are more than likely picking wags to front their events like this a) for their image, because whilst the purpose is women, they still want to use women deemed conventionally attractive to entice men to take an interest - just check out the mean comments on Doriane's appearance under her Kimmel interview. And b) for their follower counts - which don't get me started on how ig follower volume is not a meritocracy - but rather than a huge brand like WhatsApp picking someone like Doriane and using their platform to push her story and bring it to more people, they'd rather pick Carmen and have her promote their event to her cohort of followers and all the young girls who follow her who'll now mistakenly think "Oh WhatsApp cares about women!"

It's more bullshit faux feminism (much like female invest funnily enough) Like I said, she's not the architect of it, but she is complicit in it and it's disappointing all around. Doriane, Bernie Collins, Ruth Buscombe, the list of people better suited for this is endless. I think the real test is going to be (much like these Charlotte tilbury dinners) how many ACTUAL women in motorsport will be invited, or will it be another influencer event that's all for show?

[beachy--head]

Drabble, japril, season 8, based on a silly idea that keeps popping up every time I rewatch this scene.

___

Zola Shepherd is one adorable baby.

April’s living with her and her parents, so she has a front-row seat to all things Zola, but as she watches Meredith enters the room with the little girl in her arms for her first birthday party, she’s reminded of how cute the little girl can be.

“Hey, girl!”

“Look who didn’t just wake up, uh?”

Next to her, Jackson seems under the little girl’s spell too, and it’s a sweet thing to witness. It’s not a surprise, because even Alex softens when she’s around, but she still enjoys watching her best friend interact with their friend��s daughter. 

“Look at you! You look so beautiful, look at that bow!”

She would gladly spend her entire evening playing with Zola (parties, even for a child’s birthday, aren’t completely her scene). But Meredith, having spotted Dr. Webber, is quick to move, and April is left with a kind of longing she mostly gets after phone calls with her mother (Karen Kepner is, not surprisingly, a big proponent of having as many grandchildren as possible). Maybe that’s why she shakes her head and speaks before she can think.

“Uuugh, I want one.”

“Not tonight, honey, I’m tired.”

Jackson looks way too proud of his stupid joke, so she swats him.

“Hey!”

“You’re watching too many Friends re-runs.”

“It’s because Zola kept everyone up all night last week when she was teething. We don’t all sleep with earplugs, like someone.”

“You would, if your room was next to Alex’s, which is another reason I need to move. And I wouldn’t wear them if I was taking care of a child.”

“I would. I need my beauty sleep.”

She resists the urge to swat him again, because he’s being impossible today, but opts to pick up on what he just said, because they’ve never really discussed this topic before.

“Hey, you want children in the future?” 

“One day, maybe. Though I don’t know how I’d fare as a dad.”

Jackson complains all the time about his mother (April doesn’t know why, because she still mourns the day she had to unfriend her on Facebook, per her best friend’s forceful request), but he never talks about his father. Up until a drunken night a few months ago, where he mentioned briefly that his father left them and the Avery legacy, April was not even sure if the man was still alive, and there never seemed to be a good moment to ask. She doesn’t need to know his whole family history to give her opinion on that subject, though.

“What? You’d be brilliant. Zola adores you, and all the kids you treat in peds love you. Well, their moms do, too. But mostly the kids. You know how to talk to them without patronizing them.”

Jackson shrugs, a shrug that frustrates her, because God forbid Jackson Avery should accept a genuine compliment about himself. He acts like she’s just said these things to flatter him and not because she genuinely meant what she said.  

“You want kids too, right?”

Redirecting the conversation is another classic Avery move, but she lets it slide for now, because she doesn’t want to argue with him, not when they’re at a party and he seems so relaxed.

“Absolutely. Though, for that, you kind of need to find a partner first, and it’s not like I have a vast array of choice here.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but she cuts him off.

“Please tell me you’re not about to say something cliché like any guy would be lucky to have me. Or suggest that we should do one of these pacts when if we’re both single by the time we’re 33, we have a baby together.”

He chuckles.

“I wasn’t, but hey, it worked for Sloan and Torres. Also, not to brag, but with our genes combined? That kid would be so good-looking. And hella smart.”

April smiles at his assessment, and adds her own input. 

“And… So incredibly stubborn.”

She can’t help but chuckle, trying to imagine a baby Jackson refusing to do what is asked, and a weird, warm feeling spreads through her body.

“And bossy.”

“Hey!”

“What? It’s a good quality. When not aimed at me. Helped you become Chief resident.”

“Yeah, because Averys aren’t bossy at all. Have you met your mother?”

He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, an acknowledgment that the Kepner genes wouldn’t be entirely to blame for this, and it makes her think of something else.

“Your mom would so buy them their first doctor coat on their first birthday.”

“First birthday? Try at birth. Their spot at Mass Gen would be reserved from the first sonogram. Surgery specialty chosen at 2. Also, you’re one to talk. Your parents would buy them a pony.”

“No they wouldn't! Well, first a cat. Then a dog.”

“And then…?”

“Okay, probably a pony.”

They both stay silent, contemplating a life with tiny tornadoes running everywhere, bolstered by extravagant gifts given by two very different, but equally frightening, sets of grandparents, and she can actually fell herself shudder.  

“... Yeah, we can never have kids together.”

“Right? I’m going to make an appointment for a vasectomy right away.”

He laughs when she rolls her eyes, and goes to refill his drink, still chuckling. 

She’s always thought of children as an abstract matter, something she definitely wants (two boys, one girl, with a boy first, then the girl, and a little brother to round them up), but has never actually truly pictured, because it felt so far away in her future, a “someday” thing she has never been close to reaching. But for a few seconds, she lets herself smile at the idea of a mischievous, curious toddler with curly hair and green eyes, full of life and quick-witted, a sight so real she could almost see it. A few more seconds, and she shakes her head, chasing the vision away, and follows Jackson on a quest to find something to drink.