#i just wanna use matt but im also LAZY.

[erinsturniolo]

i don’t want you like a best friend - M.S

summary: bestfriend!matt and “bestfriend”!reader at a party with unknown desires for eachother.

warnings: p in v, unprotected sex, lots of smut, shower sex, swearing, underage drinking, very few uses of y/n (I tried to put it in here no times but I couldn’t!! I’m so sorry omgggg I hate it too dw 😭)

may make you get mad: “that’s not fitting.” “I’ll make it.” I know. I hate this too but his dick is like seven inches and tbh any girl would be lucky to have all seven inches regardless of height. also I’m new to smut writing so I may suck at explaining shit and have horrid grammar. I myself don’t know what (juno) position they are in but I’m too lazy to fix it so.. finally, “pretty sounds” cringy af but I used moan and groan and idk what else there is

if u wanna take inspo from this (thank you!) idc as long as you don’t copy my entire thing. but if your under 18 fuck off, no smut for you 👎

word count: idfk?? find out yourself xx

(this isn’t gonna be realistic, I’ve never been to a party or hooked up with anyone before so 😭 I feel a lot of us here on Tumblr haven’t. we’re saving ourselves for Matt 😭😭😭)

(this is my first time writing a smut fanfic, first sturniolo fanfic and first Tumblr fanfic! sorry it might be bad, not proofread. just trying out writing instead of reading!)

(english is NOT my first language. if I spelled a word wrong or something DONT BLAME ME, LOVE MADE ME CRAZY. (iykyk))

I ACCIDENTALLY CHANGED IT TO I INSTEAD OF YOU HALFWAY THROUGH OH MY GOD IM SO FUCKING SORRY IM DUMB AF

You were just hanging out with one of your friends, gossiping about the latest rumors around your school when you got an invite to the biggest party of the year. Thrown by the one and only sturniolo triplets, they were known for throwing the most lavish parties and sneaking in drinks for everyone to have. Their parties also earned the reputation of the place to hook up. You and the triplets were best friends, but you were especially close with Matt. You secretly have a desire for Matt that no one knows, not even your best friends. When you saw the invitation you squealed. “f/n, we need to go shopping for dresses, right now!” And so you did, you went to every store when you found the perfect dress. A short dress with a black dress part and gold straps and trim. It was perfect, but you could only imagine Matt taking it off.

you and your friend arrived at the part around 9:00pm. The lights are on and music is blasting, even from outside. You and f/n park at the end of the 50-ish line of cars. You finally step into the party and are immediately greeted with booming music and a drink to start, you take the drink and glance around at everyone. The party had only started 30 minutes ago but people were already on the dance floor. You scanned the crowd specifically looking for one person. Matt. “Girl who are you looking for? You’ve been to these parties before, come on!” F/n yells over the loud music, yanking your arm and entering the dance floor. You started having sips out of your drink, and sat down at the kitchen island. “Hey! I’ve been looking for you for so long, where were you?” You turn around to see Matt, in a leather jacket and pants, you glance up and down at his body. Shocked on how good he looks. “oh, my friend just pulled me to the dance floor, I was looking for you too!” You giggle, while your hands begin to shake trying to maintain eye contact and not dick contact. “you? on the dance floor?” Matt teased “don’t even right now.” you tried to hide your grin as he kept teasing and laughing at you.

the time with Matt went by so fast. Your conversation lasted around an hour before you both realized how long you had been talking, and the party was livelier than ever, you and Matt had been pulled back onto the dance floor. The amount of people in the crowd was making your body be thrown around like you were in a washing machine. You finally caught up to matt, who was significantly taller, making it easier for him to get through. “Jesus Christ, it’s like a mosh pit in there.” You laughed “that’s because it is a mosh pit.” Matt informed you. You glanced up at Matt when you heard yelling from behind, you turned around to see Nick and Chris fighting for approximately the 1989th time. “No, cause-!” Chris was cut off by Matt’s yell for them to stop. “whatever, I’m gonna go get some a drink, you guys want any?” I said in annoyance by the mosh-pit-like crowd. “nah- jinx!”Nick and Chris said at once, then continued to fight over who said “jinx” first. “I’ll come, I’ll have to protect you from the crowd or else you’ll get trampled.” Matt chuckled. I chuckled back, but what he didn’t know is that that sentence sent butterflies through my stomach.

I opened the cabinet to grab another bottle of liquor and was only a centimetre away from the bottle, even in my tippy toes. Matt was on his phone, and I didn’t want to bother him, so I just tried to get it myself. I groaned in annoyance at the fact I couldn’t grab it myself, so I climbed onto the counter. I finally caught the bottle and was about to climb down when my foot slipped and I fell, but I didn’t fall. someone caught me?

Matt. motherfucking matthew sturniolo caught me, he is my best friend but still. I was in his arms looking up into his eyes like a dumb puppy. I was so stunned that I didn’t even realize the entire bottle of liquor emptied onto my dress. “shit- sorry.” I say as I try to stand up and clean myself off with the nearby paper towels. “no it’s fine, I should have helped you-“ Matt tries to say “no no Matt it’s okay, my fault entirely. how dumb did I have to be to climb up there?” I apologize, Matt chuckles “we don’t have much paper towels, let’s get you cleaned up” Matt says as he grabs my arm and pulls me toward the bathroom. “here you go-“ Matt says as he hands me a handful of toilet paper. with any other person I would be fine with the setting, but not with Matt. being in the bathroom with Matt probably seemed normal to everyone except me. it seemed like a fanfiction, a dream. I’m so lost in thinking about how romantic it is that he - MATTHEW STURNIOLO is in the bathroom with me, that I didn’t even think to look up. But much to my surprise Matt was staring right at my eyes. “oh-sorry. your eyes are just really pretty, whoever is your boyfriend in the future would be lucky to have you” Matt stutters, I freeze. did Matt just say, I’m pretty? “o-oh! thank you Matt” I smile blushing like a ripe-RIPE tomato. Matt giggles, I glance over and I realize that 10 seconds ago I swear the bathroom door was open, but now it’s closed. I look back at matt and he must have saw the lust in my eyes, and I saw the lust in his. I could tell that look, even if I haven’t hooked up with anybody before. the look of lust, wait no- love.

I stutter “m-Matt? why’d you close the do-“ “you know y/n.” Matt says while putting his hand on my cheek. I lean into him, he leans into me. and in that moment, I kiss him. I know, me, kissing Matt? but no, it’s happening. right now, I close my eyes and just stop thinking. it feels like both me and Matt are stunned at what we’re doing, but it both feels magical. He pulls me in and turns so my back is leaning against the sink counter. we let go of the kiss and Matt moves his hand toward my hip, and placing the other on my shoulder, fiddling with my dress strap. I place one hand on the back of his neck and one on his belt. I lean in again but Matt leans into my neck and starts playfully kissing it. I let out a small groan and start fidgeting with his belt. “matt-“ I try to say but matt cuts me off. “shh” matt whispers, and pulls my strap of my dress to the side of my shoulder. I fidget with Matt’s belt, but what I didn’t know is that it comes undone easily, and his pants are only held up by his belt. all of a sudden Matt’s belt crashes onto the floor and so does his pants. “fuck sorry Matt” I whisper. Matt pulls away and suggests me “how about I make us even? hmm?” I nod my head as he pulls a strap of my dress off, then the other. I put my hand under his shirt and slowly lift his shirt. Next thing I know my dress is on the ground and Matt’s shirt and pants are on the ground and Matt is turning on the shower.

Matt steps into the shower and throws his boxers off and out of the shower, I undress slowly but get pulled into the shower by Matt, still in my underwear. “I couldn’t wait.” Matt says seductively. I glance down and freeze. “like what you see?” Matt chuckles “that is not fitting.” I speak “I’ll make it” Matt whispers. he places his hands on my underwear and glides it off grinning. Matt grabs my hips and pins me against the foggy, cool glass. I place my hands on his checks and start kissing him. Matt pulls me closer and bites my lip, making me groan. He takes a hand off my hip and onto his dick, and starts teasing me with his dick, I can’t help but moan. My lips let go from his as I bite my lip. “there you go, keep making those pretty sounds for me.” Matt moans as he slides his length into my pussy, I practically scream at how good it feels, my head flings back in pleasure as he wraps my legs around him. He holds my body and bounces it to reach maximum pleasure, with each bounce, he goes faster. And so do my moans. I’m moaning as fast as I can and as loud as I need, I’m positive other people can hear but I don’t care. I can feel the knot in my stomach start to build up. “m-Matt g-gonna c-“ I stutter before creaming all over Matt’s veiny, throbbing dick. Screaming at how good it feels. Matt keeps me bouncing on his dick, just waiting for himself to cum. He starts moaning and I knew what was about to come (see what I did there 🤭)”shit y/n I’m about to co-“ Matt gets interrupted by my moans of his cum filling my walls, painting them white. “oh my fuck- I” I stutter before Matt lifts me off his dick and onto the ground. I land on my knees, panting like a dog. “oh my god, that felt so good.” I moan, Matt puts his hand on my chin and pulls my face towards him. “just wait for the car.”

[urmother17]

make me ~ c.sturniolo

a/n: ‘slut me out’ by nle choppa. FAVE SONG. also should i make a threesome smut story with the triplets? (matt x reader x chris)?? NO FUCKING USE OF Y/N!! also question, should i post once every two days? or would you like a post everyday? if everyday i will try and get them posted :) i will post them at 3:30 pst and 6:30 est, yes you guys cum fast and a lot in this but idk i got kinda lazy 😭 also i cannot spell for the life of me

warnings: oral (fem!receiving), p in v, SMUT, different positions (backshots, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, ) - hair pulling, slight choking, titty play, titty sucking, twt p links, squirting!!

wording colors: pink: you, purple: nick, orange:chris, blue: matt

dom!chris x sub!reader

me and the triplets have been bestfriends forever, but christ has chris been looking a little TOOO FINE lately, any eye contact, physical touch by chris gives me butterflies.

literally anytime i see him i want him to fuck me so bad.

im hanging out with all of them right now, we’re all watching a movie but i get bored cuz its a boring ass movie ‘baby boy’.

“you guys wanna play a game?”

“what game?”

“how about one of those funny horny games”

i giggle

“fuck yeah”

“im down, nick?”

“im going to sleep, yall have fun i guess”

i smile,

“goodnightttt”

nick flashes a smile before walking upstairs to his room, we play ‘let’s get naked’ chris picked the game.

“nooooo, im not playing that, you guys can but im not goodnight”

me and chris look at each other and laugh

“good night”

me and chris both say in unison

chris grabs the cards and shuffles them up then puts them faced down in the center of the table.

“go ahead you first”

“fine”

i grab a card, and it reads ‘remove one clothing item, your choice’ i smile and take off my shirt. why leave it boring when you can have fun?

chris chuckles slightly, he picks up a card and it reads ‘take off pants’ chris stands up and drops his pants, i can see his dick threw his boxers he has width to him. damn.

we continue playing the game until i am about fully naked, the only thing not off me is my underwear. chris took his boxers off, and i was right he’s huge.

“have you seen my bra?”

“no”

chris said that with a cheeky grin, i knew he was lying. i stand up and i walk over to him.

“please chris give it to me”

chris chuckles

“make me”

i lean over him my boobs slightly dangling in his face. he’s leaning back and if i lean any further i am most likely going to fall onto him, embarrassing.

chris stands up and his hight compared to mine, well let’s just say it’s not fair.

“chris! please”

chris chuckles

“you have to get it”

i jump up to grab it from his hand which is reaching in the air, and that’s when chris drops my bra and throws me onto the couch, chris then climbs ontop of me

“what are you doing”

“i have to teach you lesson for teasing me ma”

chris then starts kissing up on my neck, my breath hitches and the feeling of him nibbling and sucking on my neck. i let out a soft moan just at the feeling.

i can feel chris smirk against my skin he slowly kisses down to my shoulder then to my breasts, he shoves one titty into his mouth and sucking on it while massaging the other one giving the same attention to both.

he then kisses down your stomach and he moves to your inner thighs kissing all the way up to your pantie line. there’s a literally puddle in your panties

“your so wet ma”

“chris please”

chris smirks and slides my panties off revealing my arousel covered pussy. chris kisses my clit causing me to moan out, chris reaches up and covers my mouth muffling my moans. he sucks on my clit then dives right on into eating me the fuck out. the way he’s eating me out causes me to squirm. chris then takes two fingers and plunge them in and out of your wet walls.

“chris! f-fuck im close”

“cum for me ma”

at chris’s words the knot in my stomach snaps, chris’s hand still muffling my moans, my back arching off the couch and my eyes rolling to the back of my head.

chris pulls his digits out of me and licks my juices off with a smile.

“mm you taste so good ma”

chris flips me over onto my stomach and pulls me up onto my knees and my front half getting holding up by my elbows.

he pounds into me, im a moaning mess into his hand, he starts yanking my hair and pulling it, its painful but the pleasure he’s giving me takes over and makes me moan more.

“chris- not gonna last long”

“cum ma”

his words once again, causing the knot in my stomach to snap once again. my back arches down and once again my eyes roll to the back of my head, i start seeing stars.

chris pulls out. and i drop onto the couch

“you don’t think we’re done do you?”

i look at him confused.

“oh ma your riding me frontwards and backwards.”

he smiles and i just look defeated.

chris sits back onto the couch, and i stand up and straddle his lap. i guide his still semi-hard cock to my entrance, i slowly sink into his cock and moan i start bouncing up nd down chris’s hand’s instinctly move to my ass massaging it. i dig my face into the crook of his neck moaning into it.

chris groans at the feeling of your walls clenching tightly around him letting him know of your inpending orgasm.

“cum”

at that the knot in my stomach snaps once again. cumming all over his cock for the second time. third time cumming in the night.

chris then picks you off him and turns you around.

he then places me onto his hard cock but im backwards and can’t look at him, again i start bouncing hard and fast causing chris to groan slightly.

“fuck chris- gonna c-cum!”

“fuck yeah ma, do it”

the knot in my stomach snaps, i cum and squirt all over chris and his cock.

chris pounds into me one more time and then he busts his hot seed deep in me.

•¥•

p links

[etwasisimsarchive-blog1]

i’m also being trash because i have so many threads to do  & a lot of muse but i’m so lazy

[saintmurd0ck]

🌟: Frank likes to annoy Matt by abusing his senses of smell and hearing. I love your writing!!

thank you SO SO SO much for sending this in, and for complimenting my writing. the fact that you read it and enjoy it means the absolute fucking world to me.

this was a JOY to write and holy fuck i think this is dirtier than just one night 😭😮‍💨

ALSO this is kinda unedited im so excited to post regardless 🤭

join my 200 follower celebration ➶ ｡˚ °

stay quiet, baby | frank castle x f!reader x matt murdock

summary: you steal matt's hoodie, and so frank decides to abuse matt's sense of smell and hearing

warnings: unprotected p in v, threesome ish, creampie, oral m receiving

“Hey, uh, have either of you seen my hoodie?” Matt calls out, eyebrows furrowing together in frustration. “I can’t find it and it’s–”

He cocks his ear towards the bedroom, the door only slightly ajar. It’s muffled with heavy breathing and low voices, but like a pinpointed echolocation, he’s drawn to the sound. He concentrates harder, tilting his head as he pulls it apart.

“Shh, sweetheart, don’t wanna get Red all worked up, do ‘ya?” Frank grunts softly. The sound of his hand smacking your flesh. “Although,” he continues, rasping, “m’sure he can smell you. You’re a dirty girl, wearin’ his hoodie like that.” 

You make a sound Matt’s never heard before, a mewl that tents his sweatpants. Matt gulps as he walks closer to the bedroom, palming himself as his eyes roll back.

“Gonna make sure he can smell you gettin' fucked like this, when he’s wearin’ it, sweetheart?"

Matt hears your heartbeat stutter, feeling the air displacement as you nod your head. He’s close to the bedroom now, closing his eyes as he strokes himself, utterly and completely overstimulated. He knows you’re wearing his hoodie, hears every obscene thrust, Frank’s ragged breathing as he speeds up his pace, caring less about being quiet.

A shudder runs through Matt’s body as he hears you squeal, Frank driving the tip of his cock into that spot. 

“Y’like the thought of Red hearin’ you like this, sweetheart?” Frank groans as you squeeze around him with each ruthless thrust.

“Mmhm,” you moan, breathless and trembling, the sounds catching in your throat.

“I think, baby,” Frank rasps, “he’s forcin’ himself, concentratin’, to hear this. Probably has his hand on his cock right now.”

Matt bites his lip, swallowing a moan as he listens to your heart stuttering.

Frank’s voice is louder now. “Think he can hear us right now, don’t you baby?”

Matt pushes the door open, gulping as the scent of your sweat mixed with his hoodie hits, the thought of you wearing it while Frank defiles you almost too much. 

Frank’s underneath you, his thick arm across Matt’s hoodie, hand resting on your throat, while the other arm reaches around to rub your clit. 

“Matty, baby,” you croak, Frank’s grip on your throat tightening. 

You’re writhing now, arching your back, about to fall off the edge. Frank’s not holding back, every resounding smack of his hips against yours echoing in the room. Matt’s painfully hard, throat bobbing as you start to fall apart on Frank’s cock, the slick of your sweat distilling in the air.

“C’mere Red.” Frank lifts his fingers off your clit, wrapping his now free arm around your stomach, angling himself in deeper.

Matt gets on the bed, positioning himself over your aching cunt, every wet squelch of Frank’s cock driving up into you sending jolts down his spine. He flattens his tongue against your clit, licking up into a lazy circle. He can feel you dripping, hears you reaching your peak. He leans into you, pressing a kiss into your clit as his tongue darts out. 

The combination of Matt’s tongue and Frank’s cock is too much for you to bear, exploding inside you, crying out as it shatters your body. Frank stills inside you, with Matt’s mouth still on your clit, his drawn out groan heaven to your ears as you milk him dry.

“Fuck, Frank! You couldn’t have given me a warning?” Matt sputters, the smell of Frank’s cum flooding inside you overwhelming his senses.

Frank laughs dryly, relaxing his hold on you. “Oops, sorry Red.” 

Still throbbing, and even more so witnessing you implode, Matt grits his teeth, palming himself. “Help me out here, sweetheart?” he asks you softly as you get off Frank’s cock, cum dripping down your thighs.

“Mmhm,” you nod, “of course Matty.” 

He stifles a moan as you wrap your mouth around his cock, closing your eyes as you take all of him.

The bed dips as Frank gets up, his body shining with a mix of his sweat and your cum. “Sorry ‘bout your hoodie, Red,” he grins, clapping Matt on the back. “Try not to think of me when you wear it next, alright?”

“Go to hell, Castle,” Matt grumbles, balling his fist in your hair. 

Frank chuckles as he saunters out of the bedroom. “I’m takin’ her with me when I go.” 

Matt doesn’t even get the chance to respond before you pull him in closer, circling the tip of his cock with your tongue. 

[crazy-fangirl2524]

I read your bisexual aromantic Kevin post and omg im so intrigued! could you (if you want ofc) expand on why you think he's aromantic or other headcanons you have about it? Thank you!

Canonly, Kevin was supposed to be with Andrew and Neil. Nora was forced to cut out all that part as she thinks it’s “too much”. Thus according to this, Kevin was actually not straight but then nora changed it.

The whole fandom felt that Kevin is definitely not straight and either ship him with Andrew, Neil, Nicky, Aaron or their ocs. And it could be said that Nora used Thea as a shock factor and to just pair him up with someone. Furthermore, when renee told Neil that Andrew’s not straight Neil’s first thought was that Kevin and Andrew. Moreover, Kevin said “it’s easier to remain heterosexual,” this could imply that this was what he thought about himself.

So thats why I think Kevin day is bisexual.

“Their [Kevin and thea] relationship is built initially on intense physical attraction and athletic respect. It deepens over the years, but Exy will always be tangled up in the midst of it. They’re less about romantic getaways and more interested in beating each other up on the court.”

This is taken straight from the extra content (I know many people don’t consider that as canon, but personally I consider anything written by the author canon so bear with me for this okay). As many people didn’t actually take time to read the extra content, many may have skipped this.

This shows that at first their relationship was all physical and sexual, and only later developed into something more. However I never felt anything from Kevin and Thea and we never saw much so it’s normal to imagine that they broke up later (if you never read the extra content).

Now, we all know that Kevin is obsess with exy, (even obsess is to put it lightly). He put his whole focus on exy because that was what he was taught his entire life. The nest never allowed kevin to have any relationships and he never really find a problem with that? (I mean sure he did had a secret one with Thea but I never see that it was anything more than intrigued or sexual)

Now there’s also four and a half year age difference between Thea and Kevin, therefore, Kevin was only fourteen years old when Thea was eighteen and Kevin was a minor when their relationship began. And I hate big age differences so.

Then why not make Kevin biromantic? because every time someone ship Kevin with anyone else, they change many aspect of him. And I’m not saying that it’s not making Kevin “better” but it is literally just cutting out chunks of his character and moulding him into someone else. Kevin in the books literally never hinted to like anyone in anyway (it could be because he was already in a relationship with Thea but then Thea and him hadn’t talk since he got out of the nest and Kevin didn’t even think about telling her anything?! How does that screams a relationship to anyone? Therefore I rest my case that Kevin and Thea were only physical up until the end of tkm, the rest it depends on what one believes in)

And we rarely see aromantic characters in books or headcanon because the media made it seemed that to be complete or to heal from trauma or anything you will need someone. Yes of course people need support from others but it doesn’t necessarily have to be from your partner or someone romantically. It can be from friends and family which in my opinion is just as important as romantic relationships.

It is so easy to ship kevin with anyone. You can ship kevin with Andrew, Neil, Aaron, Nicky, Allison, Matt, jean, Jeremy. Literally anyone. He is the easiest character to ship with anyone in the books. So why the fuck not make him be satisfied with himself?! Why must we change part of him to make him suit another person when he is perfectly fine the way he is?

Honestly to be short and shallow I headcanoned him as aromantic because I want an aromantic character and all other characters are already taken lmao and I’m too lazy to make ocs for Kevin so making him aromantic make sense and I don’t want to make it about his trauma but he was literally taught to just make exy priority and nothing else so I feel like he never learn to care for relationships and then all the mafia shit and no time and Kevin couldn’t care more or else and feel like it’s wasting time and too much effort so yeah Kevin is aromantic. Oh ya and also there’s too little Kevin content on tumblr and I wanna write sth Kevin related and the first thing that pops up into mind is this. And I also have seen post saying Kevin is aro/ace but I don’t think he is asexual because the way Kevin sees Jeremy and giving his rare genuine smile yeah right straight my ass and Kevin must had been at least a little attracted to Andrew but was just too scared and had too many other things to worry about so.

[starryevermore]

Idk if you have any tips. But I hate make-up, it makes me break out worse than usual. But my acne has gotten really bad but it’s a cycle of “if I wear make-up=more acne=more makeup” or “don’t wear makeup= see acne = insecure= makeup=breakout more etc” and I dunno what to do. I’ve had it since I was 11 and idk. I don’t wanna go on the medication due to the side effects plus medication it may interfere with. Idk. Just. Sorry for the is but any tips or anything would be useful. Sorry again.

ooh okay. so, it always helped me to make sure i cleaned my face before ever starting to put on makeup. sometimes that means actually getting out a cleanser and going to town, other time it's just using a stridex pad cause im lazy. granted, i also don't shower in the morning so if you do morning showers, you don't have to really do anything more than what you do in the shower lol.

after that, i'd put on a pore-filling primer because i've found that helps me from breaking out. (if you need a rec, i use tarte's "timeless smoothing primer" but if you're wanting something from the drugstore, there's a good one by maybelline! i can't remember the name for it, but i think the packaging was black and white?). if you don't want to get a primer, putting on a moisturizer before makeup also helps! you just want to put a layer between your skin and the makeup, yk?

after that, for foundation, it might be helpful to use a light or medium coverage foundation. while a full coverage foundation may cover acne better, for me i know that it always made me break out more. also, it might help to try a foundation designed for sensitive skin? and, in my experience, dewy or natural finishes tend to better than matte finishes in terms of break outs, too.

after foundation and any other liquid/creme products you use, it might help to set it with powder. that's always helped me with not getting super oily because for me oil = more acne. i use coty airspun (warning: smells like a grandma) and just apply a light layer with the poof thing that comes with it. because i get super oily in general, i use a second powder: the pressed maybelline fit me powder.

again, if oil's part of the problem, it might help to use a setting spray to curb the oil production. urban decay's all nighter spray is my go-to, but elf's stay all-night is just as good for a fraction of the price.

once that's all done and it's time to take the makeup off at the end of the day, make sure to use a double-cleanse method to get everything off! i use garnier's micellar water (it's in a yellow bottle, says "vitamin c" on it?) to get off the makeup. then i wash my face with an actual cleanser to make sure i get everything and nothing's left behind!

hope this helps!!

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 5

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! pregnancy.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Word Count: 1.7k

David’s house:

You walk into the house and everyone is already making bets on what are the genders. Zane,  Heath and Todd bet both boys, Matt & Corinna bet a boy and a girl, Mariah/Carly/Erin bet both girls. Y/n: “Hey Natalie, can I talk to you in the car outside?” Natalie: “Sure. How are you feeling? I feel like we haven’t talked in months.” Y/n: “I’m doing great but I have to talk to you about something important.” Natalie: “Like what?” Y/n: “All the girls know who the father of my twins are and I don’t want you to freak out…” Natalie: “Why would I freak out?” Y/n: “Because Jeff is the father...” Natalie: “Wait, Jeff cheated on me?” Y/n: “NO NO NO. We kind of had this friends with benefits for months before you dated. He ended it with me before he asked you out. He was the only person I’ve been with during those months so I know it’s his.” Natalie: “Does he know?” Y/n: “No…” Natalie: “Why doesn’t he know?” Y/n: “Because he didn’t treat right. He was a player and I was under his charm. I was basically wrapped around his finger until I had enough.” Natalie: “I mean… I’m not surprised… Jeff looks like a player.” Y/n: “I just hope I don’t ruin your relationship. I told him during our last fight that I hope he treats you better than he treated me. If he wants to be in their life, that’s fine but if he doesn’t, I’ll ask him to sign his rights away once they’re born.” Natalie: “Thanks for telling me… Are you going to tell him?” Y/n: “Yeah but I wanted to tell you first incase he blows things out of proportion.” Natalie: “Understandable. I’ll go get Jeff.” She gets out of the car and goes into the house to tell him to go talk to you in the car. You see him walk out and you panic a bit. 

Jeff: “ummmm hey?” Y/n: “Hi.” Jeff: “Nat said you needed to tell me something.” Y/n: “Okay but you can’t blame me for not telling you sooner. You have been such an asshole to me.” Jeff: “Telling me what sooner?” Y/n: “These babies are yours…” Jeff looked like he saw a ghost. He went pale like he was gonna pass out. Jeff: “Excuse me??!? How the fuck you know those babies are mine?” Y/n: “Pretty simple. You were the only guy I slept with since New Years until you dumped me for Natalie.” Jeff: “I don’t believe you. I want a paternity test once they’re born. Until then, I don’t want anything to do with you.” Y/n: “what the fuck do you honestly believe I just slept around? Wanna know something dick head?? You were the only person I wanted to sleep with because I was fucking in love with you but you treated me like shit and I let you do it for too fucking long. I was blind with something that was never going to happen. But I finally realized what I deserved.” Jeff: “Oh boo hoo I don’t want to hear you sob story and you better keep your fucking mouth shut about this.” Y/n: “Oh honey, you are way too late for that. The girls and David know and I just can’t wait to tell the rest of the guys.” Y/n runs out of the car so fast and locks Jeff in her car. Jeff: “WHAT THE FUCK YOU CRAZY BITCH.” You quickly run inside and lock David’s front door but Jeff get’s in through the back door. Y/n: “hey to the guys who don’t know who my deadbeat baby daddy is, it’s Jeff. Jeff runs in right as you finished that sentence. He basically doesn’t want anything to do with me or the kids he helped conceive until he knows for sure.” Jeff: “YOU SHIT THIS IS WHY I DIDNT WANT TO FUCKING BE WITH YOU. YOU ALWAYS FUCKING THINK YOU’RE THE RIGHT. YOU DON’T EBER FUCKING LISTEN WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU SHIT. YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE CIERRA TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. WELL GUESS WHAT SWEETHEART, YOU’RE A NOBODY.. Y/n: “honey the difference between me and Cierra is that she cheated on you and dumped your ass cause she realized how much of a low life you are. You are such a piece of shit. I wish these babies weren’t yours cause I hope they don’t fucking turn out like drug dealers and go to prison. I don’t need you. Sign your rights away once they’re born because I’m fucking done with you saying lies about me.” Y/n turns around to Natalie. Y/n: “Natalie. Good fucking luck.” Jeff was livid. He hated when someone brought up his past mistakes so when you mentioned that you hope the twins don’t turn out like him, it stung. Jeff: “I’ll gladly sign my rights away cause It’d be hell dealing with you and those things for the next 18 years.” Y/n: “don’t fucking call my children that.”

The whole vlog squad were stunned with how Jeff was treating you. Natalie: “Jeff…. WE’RE DONE.” Jeff: “babe plea-“ Natalie: “Save the apologies. It’s too late. You think I’d pick you over her. Girl code bitch.” Todd: “dude, just leave.” Everybody is just so disappointed in Jeff. They thought he was a nice guy but he never showed that side of him. Natalie: “y/n I’m so sorry. If I knew I would’ve never gone out with him.” Y/n: “it’s fine. He seems like Prince Charming at first and then becomes a snake.” Heath: “baby, just know all of us are here for you. It takes a village to raise a baby.” Zane: “she’s gonna need 2 villages.”

1 day later (the night before the gender reveal)

(Y/n is spending the night at Kylie’s house since the reveal party is gonna be at her place)

Y/n: “I told Jeff he’s the father.” Stass: “NO FUCKING WAY.” Kylie: “HOW DID HE REACT.” Y/n: “It was bad… I explained everything and he completely flipped out. So I said if he doesn’t want anythng to do with me or these babies, sign his rights away so I can have full custody.” Stass: “Did you tell Natalie?” Y/n: “Actually, I did. Natalie and I have known each other for longer than we’ve both known Jeff. I knew she wouldn’t get mad at me. And I made sure to tell her that I wasn’t trying to get in between her and Jeff. That ship sailed months ago but she saw all the horrible stuff he was saying and dumped him.” Kylie: “Damn I would’ve loved to be there for that. I Would’ve ripped him a new one.” Stass: “We should get to bed. We have a big day tomorrow! What do you think it’s gonna be? I hear there’s a bet going around.” Y/n: “It’s a tie between twin boys vs twin girls.” Kylie: “Let’s just wait and see what the colors are tomorrow.”

Gender reveal party

Y/n is officially 4 months pregnant and it’s reveal day!

Kylie: “Wake up sleepy head. I know you’re tired with carrying 2 babies but we gotta get you glammed up. Y/n: “Ughhhhh why can’t I just be lazy and stay in bed.” Stass: “Cause you’re finding out what you’re having.” Y/n: “You can just tell me right now :)” Kylie: “ABSOLUTELY not. Kylie’s team then comes in and spends 2 hours doing your hair, make-up and picking out your outfit. You had to choose between a pink and blue maternity dress. You picked the pink dress and have your nails painted matte baby blue (Pictured below how you look)

Once you’re ready, you head downstairs and a bunch of your friends are there. You were glad to see your family, including your dad. He still wasn’t talking to you but he was there. Everybody was having a good time eating, playing the classic shower games like guessing what chocolate is in the “poopy” diaper and other stuff like that. Kylie: “Okay guys! Gather around so we can find out the genders of the twins. Final voting. How many people think they’re boys?” About half think boys, and the other half is equal between boy & girl twin and just girl twins. Kylie: “So y/n is going to be revealing baby A and you guys are going to be revealing baby B.” Kylie gives you the powder cannon. Kylie: “Are you ready?” Y/n: “AHHHH I NO IM NOT BUT I AM.” Everybody: “3! 2! 1!”

Y/n: “IT’S A GIRL!!!! AHHHHH.” Everybody is screaming. Stass: “To the people who bet, y’all better be praying that you’re right.” Kylie and Stass hand powder cannon to everybody at the party and the countdown begins again. 3.. 2… 1!!!

IT’S ANOTHER GIRL!!!!!! At this point, you’re just sobbing. You’re having 2 girls. The only thing you care about in the moment are your baby girls. Zane: “Man we lost the bet. I thought it was gonna be boys.” Mariah, Carly & Erin: “Ayyyye we won!!! Now give us our money.”

A couple of hours later

David: “So I guess you’re not naming one David Jr.” Y/n: “You thought I would?” David: “HEY! You promised for 250k...” Y/n: “I was never going to accept that. A joke is a joke.” David: “How you feeling knowing you’re having 2 girls?” Y/n: “I think it’s pretty ironic. Jeff treats women like shit and look what happened. I’m having girls. But I don’t mind. Baby girl clothes are way cuter than boy clothes.” David: “I just wanted to let you know that I’m in it for the long run.” Y/n: “Huh?” David: “Y/n, I have had a crush on you since before I met Liza. I was crushed when she dumped me and you were always there. You were the only one who was always there for me through thick and thin. I know this is bad timing telling you this but it’s because I was too much of a scared little bitch to tell you. I will be there every single step of the way. I’ll go to your appointments with you if you want me to and be there helping you through labor if you want me to.” Y/n: “I’d love it if you were there for me all the way.”

--------------------------

Yoooo I AM SO SORRY I SAID I WAS GONNA POST EARLY. I had the chapter mostly done but it felt very boring so I basically rewrote most of the chapter. I might take longer than usual for the next chapter cause I have no Idea what to write next... Also, sorry if this chapter sucked.

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @galxydefender @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee

[bluesweatersleeve]

Aw, what's wrong? Are you sick?

for @corkcollector

from yur uhhh are you sick drawing :)

fitz/matt..???

tl:dr = fitz kidnap poor babey matt, gives him pill(s) and now matt has bad stomach ache :(  oh cam? Uh cam not here… anyways…

Its bad and rushed because i had like 50 ideas for your drawing and i just decided “welp, whatever i wanna put in along the way ill just put oh well” lol ill have a list of what i wanted to put at the bottom

DAMNIT ITS FORMATTED DIFFERENTLY awhatever im too tired to fix it im sorry please forgive i might fix in the morning but i must sleep my leg tingles

-

The rope began to hurt his wrists, though his ankles became numb to the constant pricking of the roughness. The ropes little bumps and ridges scratched at Matt, going up and down, sometimes side to side. Being restrained to a chair meant non stop struggling, and the rope had begun to dig into his wrists, and even though Matt couldn’t see his wrists, he bet that they were red with pain, perhaps more red than Matt’s red flushed face from the humidity of the basement.

Even if Matt had been stripped down into nothing, the heat would still feel like as though it was personally choking him. Matt didn’t know if it was the heat or maybe if the wounds scattered across his body began to become infected from neglect, but he began to feel sick. And it was evident through his coughs.

Though the coughs felt more like than just a cough. They felt as though it was killing him slowly, and perhaps it was, but Matt refused to let himself die in a dusty, muggy basement. Especially a basement that didn’t even belong to him or a friend. The coughs only progressively got worse though, the outcome transitioning from nothing to blood. It was always blood, never anything else.

Matt refused to look at the small blood patches surrounding him. He knew it was there, and he knew it was from him, but the look of it made the coughs return. The smell was bad enough, but the look of the dried, and recent blood combined only made it worse.

Matt’s only release from everything was when he would pass out from lack of food, or when night fell, and he would be left alone to sleep for the next round of abuse. Though sometimes, his captor liked to interfere with Matt’s temporary feeling of freedom.

Sometimes, Matt’s captor makes Matt sick. But Matt would rather die than be sick.

-

The cold water splashed onto Matt, the water, although a refreshing feeling from the constant heat Matt felt, was still a shock, and it stung into Matt’s fresh scars from his captor’s lovely session of torture earlier in the day.

“Ah-!” Matt gasped, the pain and shock combining into a sound. Matt gasped for air as the water dripped from his hair, and began to cough, already feeling something build in his throat. “F-fuck!”

Matt coughed, the blood falling from his mouth and landing onto the floor with a soft splat.

“Disgusting.” The man that towered over him laughed, throwing the once water filled bucket off to the side. He moved slowly as he stood off to the side of Matt, narrowing his eyes when he saw another blood patch fall to the ground. Fitz scoffed as Matt’s coughs continued. A sly smirk played onto his face. “Hmph, look at you. Weak, puny, dying.”

“N-no!” Matt choked out, spitting the blood out from his mouth. The blood ran down his lip as he weakly glared at Fitz, the fighting spirit in his eyes beginning to stir again. “I-I’m not-”

Matt’s head dropped down as another coughing fit began, his throat beginning to ache as blood clogged up, feeling like it only moved a centimeter each hack he had. The blood came out in pieces, landing in the water coloring it red. Matt felt like passing out from the coughing fit, but his attention was focused on Fitz who smiled smugly at him.

“I-I’m not dying..”

“You so sure about that?” Fitz asked as if to mock Matt’s statement. He laid his hands softly onto Matt’s shoulders, holding it with a wicked grin. “You’ve been coughing blood for how long now? 3, 4 days? Oh! And how long has those wounds been on you? 6, or maybe a whole week?”

“No-”

“Oh Matt, how will you ever get better after this? Normal medicine won’t do..” Fitz said, looking at Matt who turned his head to the side to avoid his gaze. “Good thing I don’t use normal medicine.”

Matt’s eyes became alert and his head whipped around to look at Fitz. Fitz smirked at him and brought his hand behind him, pulling out a bottle of white pills. Matt’s tough persona broke, and he shook his head, lowering it, and feeling himself begin to break down. Fitz chuckled, and rattled the bottle as he circled Matt and stopped in front of him, looking at Matt’s lowered yet almost still head. The tears fell onto Matt’s already wet shirt, and FItz rolled his eyes.

“Stop crying, you fucking child.” Fitz grabbed a handful of Matt’s hair and pulled it up, forcing Matt to look at him. Fitz’s face scrunched up as Matt looked.at him tearfully. Matt snarled and glared at Fitz, who growled back. “God, you’re disgusting. Good thing I’m getting rid of you.”

Fitz opened the bottle, and took out a few looking at Matt who stared at the pills with fear. The white pills looked as though they were glowing in Fitz’s hand under the moonlight. The rest of the pills were thrown off to the side, close to where the bucket lay.

Fitz approached Matt, and time seemed to move slow, as if to torture Matt in what might be his last day alive. Matt stared at Fitz through half-lidded eyes, who stared at him back. Fitz managed to catch him off guard and grabbed Matt’s hair quickly, and pulled it again, Matt’s mouth hanging loose to which Fitz used to his advantage and dropped the pills in. Matt instantly tried to spit them out, but failed when Fitz clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Mm- mh!” Matt shook his head, trying to remove Fitz’s hand from his mouth. Fitz grabbed the back of Matt’s head and held him still, smiling as Matt’s half-lidded eyes turned wide eyed with panic. “Mmm!”

“If you swallow it, this’ll be over so much quicker.” Fitz said, tightening his grip on Matt’s head. Matt shook his head, but complied when Fitz began to crush his hands together.

Matt closed his eyes as he forced himself to slowly swallow the half dissolved pills, having to also swallow the bitter and gross saliva pool in his mouth. Matt opened his eyes and glared at Fitz when finished, but he folded when a sharp and sudden pain hit his stomach. Fitz let go of Matt and watched as Matt twitched with pain.

Matt breathed heavily and looked at Fitz, who smiled cheerfully at him. Matt lurched forward, and cried out in agony as the pain continued.

“D-damnit..” Matt heaved, dropping his head as the pain disappeared and reappeared. “F-fuck you!”

“Aw, what's wrong? Are you sick?” Fitz laughed, glancing back at the bottle of pills. He smiled and turned back to Matt “If you’d like, I can give you more.”

“N-no!” Matt writhed with pain, feeling it beginning to throb, as if it had a mind of it’s own and knew Matt hated it. “Please, no!”

Fitz cackled and stepped away from the view in front of him. Matt’s poor attempt at trying to stop the pain ended with the rope on his wrists digging deeper into him. Matt didn't know what to do, but all he felt was an extreme pain that seemed to spread all across his body. Matt wished he could scream, but his throat was clogged with blood and saliva, only letting whimpers and chokes out.

Fitz held Matt's head softly, trying to stop himself from laughing as Matt shook.

"Ah, don't worry Matt, by this night you should be dead." Fitz proudly announced to him, pulling away from him and walking to the door. "Keep coughin' Matt, because if you're not dead by tonight, then I'll kill you myself."

Fitz revealed a metal bat that rest just behind the thick wooden door frame, and tapped it on the floor, letting it echo, and sound over Matt's pained whines. He took one last glance at the soon to be corpse, and smirked at what he has made of Matt.

The door slammed shut, and Matt knew it was the last time he would hear it, thank god, because Matt could already feel himself slipping from consciousness.

Matt smiled weakly and looked at the door.

"I'll see you, Cam.." Matt murmured, dropping his head, letting the pain overtake him as his breathing slowed. "I'll see..you.."

-

WELP heres like all 50 of my ideas lolol

-fitz pretends to be cam, puts something in matts drink and turns him into a mindslave (and a 2nd one but matt dies instead)

-fitz pretends to be cam, puts something in matts drink, and matt begins to forget stuff, and eventually forgets e v e r y t h i n g, and is stuck in an neverending existential crises

-matt was gonna spit in fitz's faces before being forced to take the pills

-matt was gonna go crazy after taking the pills like "death? dont know her! fuck you!"

-there was gonna be no bloody cough before but i said yeah sure why not

-fitz was gonna wrap ropes around matt to increase his pain, or he was gonna let matt out of his chair but like, break his limbs (then i was like "wait a minute idk how to write bones!), and let him writhe in pain

-cams spirit gonna appear oOoOo (then i said no! this isnt wattpad!)

-idk in the basement theres a small ass window, and i was gonna have some weird ass connection to the moon but was like nah

-was gonna add a whole thing of cam being the next victim and matts dead body just in front of him the whole time, and fitz comes down and he's holding the pills

-^^if i was gonna add that, once cam died, fitz was gonna call his fukin goons and be like "alright the first couples down, get the next one. ah..swagger and toby was it?"

-i was too lazy

-bUt there was gonna be one where cam just breaks into the basement and beats the shit out of fitz and leaves with matt

-^^or it was gonna be fitz reacts like the fucking flash and beats his ass first and taunts matt with his bruised/dead body

-i was too lazy

okay im donee..its 4:02am im gonna sleep i hope you see this hahhxhhdha

bye sisters, respect the queen or i slice your peen

of course queen is toby.

[cloudbankdownload]

konnichiwa, and welcome back to the classic “Matpat video notes from hell” series

yup we’re doing this again lol. just imagine noodle from gorillaz typing this up instead of alex and it’ll almost be just like last time! today (June 10, 2019) we’ll be watching “Game Theory: FNAF, You Were Meant To Lose (FNAF VR Help Wanted).” please note that in the thumbnail it says “don’t trust the tapes!” so you too can be mad at how he’s slandering tape girl like that. and, of course, THERE WILL BE SOME (MOSTLY MINOR) SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. okay, video time!

-alright, starting off strong with a compilation of Poor Matpat (/s) and all the times he thought he’d made his last fnaf theory video (man i wish fnaf 4 was his last theory vid too)

-not even a minute in and we’ve already got some avengers endgame references smh

-jokingly calls fnaf vr “matpat insanity simulator” and MAN i WISH

-calls the game “an ~inflection~ point” like we get it you can use fancy words okay relax

-thinks there’s more games to come

-vr game supposedly is gonna lead us into “FNAF: The Next Generation” (bro if you’re gonna come up with a name for a list games we don’t even know are gonna exist, at least be creative with it come on)

-”the meatiest game in the fnaf library” with I SHIT YOU NOT an awful graphic of freddy’s head over a disgusting pile of “ground meat” with a big yellow sun-shape with red text that says “NO FAT!” JFC MATT WHY!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!! also y’all are welcome, i definitely took that bullet for you

-i’m only two minutes into a 23:39 video why did i sign up for this i’m gonna die

-oh joy he actually played it on gt live /s

-BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT VOICE HE DID FOR THE PUPPET

-experience of the game is to “recreate the brand” and “clear its name” or w/e

-OMFG HE LITERALLY WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL THE MONEY SOCK COTTON WAS MAKING ON MERCH ONLY TO STOP AND TALK ABOUT HIS OWN FUCKING MERCH SEND HELP GET ME OUTTA HERE IM GONNA GO F E R A L

-he’s really going out of his way to say “THESE shirts are for the LADIES and THESE shirts are for the MEN” SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT

-seriously man we already knew you were a Gender Binary Cop but this is ridiculous

-there’s game theory underwear. apparently. if i had to suffer through that fact so do you.

-”if you’re a fan of all the hard work we put into each and every one of our videos” WOW matt i had know idea how hard it was to steal other people’s work and ideas for your half assed theories!!!1!!11!!!

-god he makes it sounds like his theory gear is like donating to a charity absolutely unbelievable

-by the way, that ad for his own merch was from 3:32-4:18 and that’s almost a full minute (though trust me, it felt like so much longer)

-quiero matar ese hombre (translation: i wanna kill that man)

-OH. OH HE DID NOT.

-[insert stream of cursing in multiple languages that i cannot be bothered to type out here]

-this little white bitch really just said that there was only one important character missing in the vr game–golden freddy

-“noodle!” i’m sure you’re saying. “there’s nothing wrong with matt saying that!” oh no, that wasn’t the bad thing he said. ohhh no.

-and i quote: “i mean, ballora isn’t around here either, but you know i said ‘IMPORTANT’ [voice saying “buh-buh-baom!”, explosion sfx, air horn sfx]”

-気持ち悪い！(disgusting!)

-me parece que el quiere ser un hombre muerto (it seems to me that he wants to be a dead man)

-anywayyyys back to golden freddy: she’s not in the game because she’s chillin in hell with william afton APPARENTLY

-あの、ちょっと・・・(um, not really…)

-oh excuse me, she’s in hell with william to torture him, not chill with him

-also like how we’re still assuming a lot of things /s

-man this is taking a while

-cassidy (golden freddy) never gives up her soul, proves along with scrap baby plush that help wanted takes place after pizzeria simulator

-franchise is trying to rebuild itself after yknow, a dude going on a child killing spree

-talks about the following malhare ending

-yeah we aint gonna talk about what he calls malhare

-third appearance of the name “jeremy” in the games

-says he’s put the tapes in a “cohesive narrative” order (hah, how much do we wanna bet he’s wrong?)

-lol doesn’t say the order so he can’t be called out on his bullshit (i’m too tired to try and actually piece this shit together)

-this mf really 1) called jeremy crazy 2) or maybe that he’s “just a fnaf youtuber” and 3) PUTS UP A GRAPHIC OF HIM AND MARK GIVING EACH OTHER A HIGH FIVE. bold of you to assume you deserve to be near him mister patthew.

-[GORE WARNING] his take on the jeremy incident (you know the one, it was mentioned in the tapes) is that the ink is blood and jeremy DID cut his face off with the paper cutter. if you’re here from the fnaf discord server, you were probably around when we all discussed that this was unlikely.

-oh wow he really just tried to tie that in with the bite of 87 huh

-he’s convinced jeremy dies (spoiler: we don’t–and neither do a fair bit of people)

-really blaming tape girl for the fact that she didn’t warn about not collecting the tapes until the fifteenth tape huh

-talks about all cassettes collected endings, and how you “lose” no matter what in any of the three endings

-thinks the player is destined to lose the game

-mentions inconsistencies and oddities in the tapes

-i.e. how tape girl introduces herself twice—in tape one and tape fifteen

-how she says in tape sixteen that she knows there’s a way to kill malhare when she can’t possibly be sure, because she clearly hasn’t done it herself (malhare wouldn’t exist otherwise.)

-as in, she’s secretly trying to get you to release malhare instead of killing him

-thinks malhare melded with her conscious after she tried to delete the audio files and then attempted to escape by making the next playtester release malhare

-meanwhile the player is stuck while malhare takes over their body

-thinks that maybe the player waits until the next playtester comes along and loses their consciousness, which lets the player out

-says that putting together the tapes is like putting together the petscop lore

-wonders how many williams are out there--could the ai be replicating itself into multiple people--but admits yeah probably not

-”but that’s just a theory.. a game theory” or w/e the fuck he says

-insert ancient meme about fnaf storyline here bc he was too lazy to make a graphic or w/e

-oh wait no he wants to talk about jeremy haha still gotta sit through this for another minute or so

-random appearance of shadow freddy he found, malhare has three toes (ffs sake not the toe theories again i thought we were done with that crap) like the footprints outside afton house in fnaf ps midnight motorist minigame

-lovelyyy he’s gonna make another video after “thinking” shit over

-”scott cawthon is the villain in his own game” OKAY WHATEVER IDGAF

-i hoped you enjoyed these because they were legitimately the second or third worst experience of my life and i’m really not exaggerating

[angelqsk]

hewwo!! this is for the 21-qs thing going around :p i got tagged by the cutie @fruitie <33

nickname: most ppl just call me zoe!!! i used to get called zo or zo-bo a lot :>

zodiac: aries sun n cancer moon

height: 5'3ish idkhdhd

amount of sleep: depends... sometimes like 12 hours n other times like 4

last movie i saw: don't remember but i watched this really long anime with my bf last night if that counts lol

last thing i googled: that "todd howard, voice acting god" video jfjfjfn

favorite musician: dodie!! also mayb matt maltese i guess

song stuck in my head: that go commit die video omf

other blogs: uhhh yes(mayb if u ask in dms i'll tell u wink wignk)

do i get asks: yeah but i don't check my inbox so i get surprised when i do lol

blogs following: 171... so not even close to a lot lol im kinda picky

lucky numbers: don't think i have any, but since i live in vegas im gonna say 7 :p

what im wearing: pajamas lol im still in bed... but it's this van gogh t-shirt of that water lillies painting n flowery shorts

dream trip: hmm maybe the netherlands cause a lot of my family lives there.. but also france or japan or new york!!!

dream job: well im planning on becoming a flight attendant but i would love to be a chef for one of those fancy restaurants in paris or somethign!!

favorite food: mmm mac n cheese.... posta

languages: english although i was learning french for a while n was doing pretty good until i got lazy lol

play any instruments: i used to play a lot... not so much anymore :p i played oboe guitar bass piano uke n i sung in a band!!

favorite songs: litterally changes like every day... but right now i'd say my faves are "arms unfolding" by dodie and "first love/latespring" by mitski!!

random facts: my favorite hobby is playing video games n i wanna try to be more competitive with it soon :p

describe yourself as an aesthetic thing: uhhh some ppl say i have the personality of a peach? i feel that describes me pretty well :>

i tag @i-hate-all-pedophiles @nonecksnohecks @vergooba @sunflorafemme @gotheej @lullsoft (n of course u don't have to do this if u don't wanna!!) <33333

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y   S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)

[ash-etherwood]

ehhhh im still rewriting this story and it'll just be some kind of 20k words intro to a way longer story that I wont continue because im lazy. (---: heres the three main characters I love them very much. they're english and im still debatin if I wanna put them in the same universe as the UNMO-guys .... it's kinda supernatural after all. (just a heads up theyre all dating)

Jack - 22 years old, almost homeless, almost jobless, lives in a small inn's basement and cleans the toilets for a living - very pansexual and everyone is his type, sadly - that's probably not his real name, nobody in real life is called jack after all (- way hotter then he was supposed to be) - kinda an alcoholic but too broke to spend anymore money on booze (and cigarettes) - remarkably bottom - wants to look edgy and like a bad boy but is actally just an awkward bitch - casually overshares in the worst possible situations - more or less accidentally killed a guy once and has been on the run since - fucking terrified of straight fuckboys - hairy - tragic backstory: abusive, homophobic dad and psychic powers that are actived by panic attacks - sometimes purposefully triggers himself to use telekinesis which fucks up his psyche pretty badly - was a fullout esper in his childhood but most of his former powers haven't shown in the past few years and he just believes he lost them - does only have ONE pair of normal jeans, the rest is sweatpants - can also talk to ghosts, but needs very special circumstances for that and usually doesn't even remember what these are - just wants an aesthetic apartment with a glass roof and a cute s/o and enough money to stay alive - wants to eat Nick's peach chapstick

Aleska Marie Heidenreich - 24 years old, polish/german/jewish mixed, actually straight for once - had straight a's in school, now studies physics (because it's smart) and literature (because it's her passion) and works part time as a waitress in some fancy expensive confectionery-café - likes baking complicated stuff and gets better at this - despite that she eats like a starving horse and should not be brought to fancy dinners; also likes to eat A LOT, is the type of girl who will empty a bucket of ice cream after a breakup (or just for fun), but only gets chubby around the hips in those phases - also dances since she was 11 and is REALLY good at it (she and her group won several prizes in her teen years) - usually seen listening to hip hop and reading kafka curled up on her couch - can never decide if she wants to look girly-sexy or sloppy-90's-grunge-skatergirl - unironically drinks tomato juice and her fave cocktail is bloody mary - horrible chain smoker, tries to quit about once a week but always fails wich leads to some kind of yoyo-effect where she will only smoke one or two cigarettes on one day and five or six on another - the darker her eye make up, the better her feeling - currently on the run from her abusive boyfriend matt who she was about to break up with when he finally snapped and hit her. still debates if she wants to go back to him or leave him for good. - no superhuman powers whatsoever and just kinda has to roll with her weird new friends

Nicholas 'Nick' Crawford - 26 years old, very tall, also very pan - came from a pretty well off family and got the full program of learning to play the piano as a child and having private classes on manners and social etiquette and all that shit - a witch with several crow familiars who are all named after kafka-protagonists (franz, karl, josef and gregor) frequently bonds with aleska over that - his appartment is full of plants and smells like a mix between a perfumery and a secret weed hideout - casually uses his knowledge about plants, herbs and potions to grow weed probably - very good with animals, complete with the "oh wow she usually doesn't like strangers!" trope - only very rarely seen not smiling at all, even if it's just a tiny smile, has a resting nice face - everything he says sounds like flirting and he is just charismatic as fuck - when he has money he wears big hats, pointy leather shoes and big glasses like some kind of gay witch; when he's broke he just runs around like a private detective in a beige trenchcoat - has horribly dry, chapped lips that often bleed and carries peach chapstick with him because of that all the time (peach is also his favourite smell and colour) - only recently came to town to look for someone there who might help him with a few old spellbooks but he seems to have forgotten about that already - basically has sympathy for EVERYONE and can't help but help people if he notices the need, even if he has better things to do, and most of the time that kindness backfires horribly

[gayspock]

i have a class in 10 minuites. enough time ot anya ramble#

because ugh. idk but anya in s7 really fucking. bugs me. like

okay anya in GENERAL: i think shes a funny queen and i like her, but like.... ultimately, idk. a lot of the time, with her character, i think its gratingly obvious that she wasn’t supposed to stick around this long. and whilst i dont think thats inherently an issue... i just think it can make things rlly messy, yknow.  (spike is another example where like. i didnt jhave to look it up- i just KNEW he was initially intended as a more one off character, from context)

but like with anya. they bring her in as a scary villain. shes then reduced to a joke for several seasons. and then back end of s6/s7 they try to pick her back up and- and it just doesnt... work for me like tht... like its just a bit too late and hasty and i just wish they’d started treating her properly as a character BEFOREHAND yknow.  bc god up until the wedding it still FELT like she was a minor joke character who rlly got no serious handling- and then obviously xander leaves her, but idk. i feel bad but its hard to actually feel the emotional weight of that when, up until tht point, the show itself hadnt handled anya seriously at all. and even after.  the stuff she does get it all seems so...... minimal?! like definitely shes in it a lot but what she does do- its hard to describe.,.. but it always feels like shes been shoved to the side, in favour of everyone else, even when the episode is supposed to be about her. like all of the actual emotional focus is on the scoobies and YES theyre the main part of the show but its like. this, at this point, just reduces anya rto more of a problem.  like jesus her best friend for fuckin hundreds of years got sacrificed BECAUSE of her, after she herself . did something horrible- something arguably worse/on par with what willow did and then. afterwards we got no time with her whatsoever.

and just her backstory ep itself- id ont like it, man. i dont know. i dont like how they kinda retconned her? to me its a million times more interesting if she is the way that she is, because she was a vengeance demon for so long & is now relearning to be a human. like i love that a lot more to be honest with you and it ties in, thematically, more with other shit in s7. and also...... okay hot and controversial take her. i know shes regarded as, like, austistic coded and the retcon that she was just “always like that!” is . supposed to be more of an indication of th- BUT HEY! I DONT WANT HER TO BE! maybe 20 years ago fine and. i think its fine if other autistic ppl want her as rep? i recognise a lot of ppl would have regarded her for years as tht & i dont wanna take tht away but for me. like me personally.  i dont know man i dont want a vengeance demon to be my autistic queen . at least not in the way shes executed- because like i said, like.... maybe if she was handled well, then sure, but shes treated as a joek for most of the show, then even when she is handled more seriously, theres more time spent into how everyone else is handling her which wasnt purposeful but its like an unfortunate coincedence if she IS supposed to be autistic. and yeah im brushing over the fact shes. yeah because i am a little sick of us just not getting genuinely good autistic characters but anyways

i think the whole fear of bunny things was a really irritating and. forgive me. but cringey joke too. like it reminds me of fucking (and ik obviously buffy came first... am referring to my own experiences) matt smith era doctor who. how i loathe the humour.... like ah yes we will say random absurd thing repeatedly until its humurous. hahaha. bunnies. hahaha. bowties are cool. like it  isnt even funny in the first place but then its done to death- and then the fact that they tried to retroactively make that part of her tragic backstory is so........................ lazy and eye roll worthy like what are you trying to do here are you trying to do here. are the writers children is this baby hour is th-

and god theres a lot more issues surrounding her like i did not at all like her and xanders relationship. in part bc i dont like xander but like... i do think there was some genuine POTENTIAL there but they went about iniating it in the wrong way. because i do think they are compatible but just the whole... her strongarming him into going with her to prom and now shes in love with him (??) and  i guess its LESS bad than when other ppl in the show are suddenly in love bcause i suppose she just isnt as used to handling and understanding her own emotions but i dont fucking know man i would have wanted some actual attention put into their relationship but frankly other than like. willow and tara did we EVER get moments with the relationships before suddenly eeyeehaw theyre head over heels and the only reason THEY did is bc they couldnt do that right off the bat bc theyre wlw ans  YOU KNOW WHAT.

WE CANT KEEP DOING THIS BELOVED. IM CUTTING MYSELF OFF

[survivornavarino]

Episode #4: He’s Dead To Me In This Game -Heather

I want to cry. LITERALLY ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS KNOW THE VOTE. THAT IS IT. I WOULD HAVE VOTED ANYWAY. I miss Tim. but this new tribe thing is happening so hopefully I can get with the other side. BUT IM STILL HERE SO TIME TO FIGHT.

I'm sad that there's a tribe swap I really like the favorites tribe we all worked really well together. However I'm wondering if this swap will assist in taking out big threats on our team

that went as planned im glad especially with swap going on so now let’s hope I’m on tribe that wins 

Wow I can't believe I am queen of getting exiled. Im shitting. I'm upset because I can't build any relationships, but also glad because I was a bottom voter. WELL IM IN F16 SO THATS GOOD. and I have time to recover from the flu sooo. Fun

-before tim got  voted out- Okay, I want to vote Tim out. Vi told Heather Tyler was throwing her name out there so I don't want the possibility of an idol being played. Tim made an alliance chat with Tyler/Heather, he threw Tyler under the bus to me and then switched it to Trixie. He's playing messy. Also, he's apparently friends with Rebecka and idk how she stands with me, a tribe swap is coming so I need to think about that. It should be me/Tyler/Shoib/Tee/Trixie voting out Tim. ________________________________________________________________ So we just swapped tribes and I am pretty happy with who I'm with. My Zwooper thots Tyler and Shoib were the two from my tribe to come with me and I trusted them the most. As for the fans I'm now meeting, Drew and me are friends and he told me he'd cut bitches to save me so that's good. Eddie and I started talking a few weeks ago bc we're from Boston so we have connections, and I know Autumn from Crossroads. I've never talked to Mitch or Jacob before. I hope that Autumn is okay with me and doesn't distrust me from Crossroads. If we lose again I just hope that I'm in the clear, but I really want to win a challenge for once. ________________________________________________________________ Me getting removed from the challenge:

me 10 seconds later:

AHHHHHH WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?! I wanna cry. I’m just super busy this weekend and swap plus tim being voted out. I hope this party ends soon so I can actually help

not sure about tribe the people i know I like are all on the other tribe so im a little bummed but we’ll see how it goes Rebecka seems really nice and so is Ben but i really would like to win a challenge for once ________________________________________________________________ i envy heather right now being in exile safe for a week with no stress omg 

Hey not much has been happening and I don't even remember if I made a confessional last round, but we swapped so now stuff is actually happening. As soon as Autumn was added to Admirador, Shoib made an alliance chat with the three of us since we're all acquainted with Ashvika and Duncan and want to do them proud. I'm glad to be in it, cause I'd love to rob Drew of merge just because it would probably be the smartest move, i dunno. Eddie exists in some plane of reality and there's another favorite who I can't remember OH IT'S JACOB sldkslfjn. He also exists. According to Shoib, Tyler is the one who moved to vote out Tim, which is something I can respect. He wanted to take out a threat before he could meet up with the favs and turn on them. smart moving, tyler. I'll keep an eye on you.

I have missed way too much today. Couldn't get on at all today because of work, so I didn't find out until around 10 that we swapped. I still have Drew and Autumn, so hopefully I can work something out if we lose. Wish me luck.

I typed an entire thing in my name section instead of the "What's the haps?" Section and now I'm just sad, lazy and tired 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xhO1nWKSrmQ&feature=youtu.be I'll also throw in the skincare routine I made for my tribe: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=doqWHEPSzaM ________________________________________________________________ First the egg task, then the cheese task. This is rigged against vegans and I will not stand for it! 

Tbh I hope whichever side Tyler is on win so I don't have to see him. He is dead to me in this game. 

https://youtu.be/SPKNd_nr-MA I'm sitting at my computer all day tryna win this challenge but eddies got either super speed powers or a very high speed internet connection and either one is fine do long as the FBI agent inside my computer does his job to help me win (we're gonna lose and I'm gonna be voted out for being annoying just watch) 

https://youtu.be/vhhp9PxGgVA ________________________________________________________________ https://youtu.be/BTpHrHkMY0w

*late submission*

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QT3rFB93OnI

Rebecka https://youtu.be/rDOcb19KaHc I just want to congratulate Eddie on his wifi speed 

https://youtu.be/SmQAAQOhLB0

im legit crying right now i just don’t seem to catch a break why can’t we just win one time please idk what’s going to happen tribal time but we’ll see if we can do the smart thing and get out inactive so we don’t lose again i tried so hard to get points and managed a few but they were so fast i mean seriously what are they using some super speed internet and extra fingers 

A tribe swap? AKA WHAT RUINED ME IN ALL STARS?? HERE WE GO JUST DROP ME AN OXYGEN MASK WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE THANKS

________________________________________________________________

The admins tried it and put me on this all-male tribe..... OF FRIENDS AND COMP BEASTS THAT KEEP WINNING SO BLOOP!! Himalayas is shaking All Stars could never

Am I gonna miss Julia, Rebecka, and my fallen son Tim? Absolutely. Will I make the most out of this situation? Oh you already know. First of all, I'm on my Parvati Shallow grind and so far so good- Shoib created an alliance w/ me and Mitch to honor Duncan and Ashvika; Eddie is completely counting on me now that Julia is gone and Preciado is split; and Jake and I kinda sorta had a pre-made Final 2 oops. Also Drew loves me SO we out here. I hope to tighten things up with Jacob and Tyler but we'll see. Second of all, the last time I was on a tribe of all men, I was the last one standing. Me doing the Lord's work and getting men sent out one by one? Yep sounds about right

https://media.giphy.com/media/ObTkhX1gpCHpC/giphy.gif

Third of all, and the most important thing is, Navarino is going great. I'm not a threat yet, I haven't had to be cracked so I'm slipping right on by, AND my social game is solid. Rebecka and Madison described me best in Himalayas when they said I stack everything like a house of cards. I'm doing a lot more socially this time around, but the fact remains: I know what I'm doing. I know when to be smart and when to play dumb, when to lead and when to sit back. We all know I can create targets and blindsides anytime any day but why rush things? It's pre-merge. Less is more so the motto is que sera sera. Jacob wants to be inactive? Cool go right ahead. Tyler wants to leave me on read? No problem. I want them to keep digging their graves so I can be the one to dump the dirt in. My allies want to prove they're comp kings? Perfect. That makes them perfect for my army. Lord knows I could use a fleet of massive targets that'll get picked off before me. Autumn and the Seven Shields is gonna be good I can feel it

I am loving this tribe swap! We have a really strong tribe and I have gotten to know a few more people quite well - namely Eddie and Drew. My only reservation is that Drew KNOWS I am from Zwooper and that I know Shoib and Jake. I have told all the others that I don't play these Survivor games online. From my conversation with him he told me he adores Jake and would prefer to align with us. We will see how that shakes out. Hopefully we can just continue winning. 

Oh man oh man. Here we go again. Tribal! Hopefully the new tribe doesn’t slowly pick us swap players off but hey at least we get heather. I believe we’re going with Matt as the vote bc he’s slightly inactive but who knows. This could turn out like last tribal and some how a completely different person gets voted out. Hopefully rebecka will save me for a bit until I establish myself again. I’m not sure how I feel about trixie being on the same tribe but I think we’re banding together. No hard feelings I hope. >.>

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jFkq4NXbKF0

Okay so we swapped tribes and

I'M SITTING SO FUCKING PRETTY RIGHT NOW!!! I swapped with Jacob and Eddie, who were arguably the two people on the old Faves tribe who would most want to keep me, Autumn who is a good target and also is against Jacob's inactivity, Mitchy my fellow puzzle bro comp beast, and ALL FUCKING THREE ZWOOPER BOYS, THAT VIRTUALLY NO ONE KNOWS THEY KNOW EACH OTHER, AND NONE KNOW THAT I KNOW THEM!!! Like not REALLY, especially Tyler, who was so UTR zwooper that he wasn't even added to an initial Zwooper Boys alliance or whatever. This is a tribe I truly think I could ride to merge, if this tribe goes to merge. Mitchy and I are strong enough to crush almost any comp that could come our way, enough people want to work with me, I see no issues. I love that this is happening in the Admirador camp. It's so goddamn bougie hipster of us. Five elitist favorites who have never struggled a day in their lives, save three poor boys from the slums, down on their luck, and take over their neighborhood, leaving our old home to rot. The gentrification of it all is so real, the almond-milk-only coffee shop is being built on Thursday. Hopefully we can keep polishing up this turd of a campsite until it shines and all the white people wanna move here. I feel bad for Tee, Vi, and Trixie because all three tried in the challenge, but the Faves over there would be absolute idiots if they didn't send one of them home. Considering Heather is joining them tonight after tribal, I can't see how letting themselves become 4-4 is a good idea. But that's gonna be on them, I guess, there are enough people over there that I like but can't see myself working with so bye??? Imma just stay happy.

my question for tribal says it all pretty much which i can post after this but i am realizing that if you aren’t part of the in crowd then you are left out just like school and I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime so if this is my end so be it since too many people seem to know each other if i leave i hope Tyler decimates them i hate the fake people here and want the other tribe which actually talked to me and didn’t flat lie to my face ________________________________________________________________ personally activity should be take into account since we want to ensure victory so those that help need to be around somits smart to get dead weight out but i know many of these games are about social game and keeping friends in even if they don’t help exactly known as a floater or a goat since they help with votes and i personally find that unfair but as in life those that deserve to stay end up getting screwed over and those that don’t deserve to stay get to stay but i find that karma always has a way of coming back to work it’s magic  

It's hard getting information from someone you're about to lie too but that's survivor I guess. I'm trying to make it seem like I'm just tagging along trying to survive.

I am soo happy to finally win a challenge! drew already said that he’d be fine with flipping and voting autumn out if we lose so hmmmm i’ll keep that in mind. anyways i went on call with eddie for like and hour and just talked we’ve bonded over stuff before but have never played together so i think no one would expect us to be allies. he says he was happy to swap tribes bc he didn’t know where he stood with the faves. so with eddie and drew i see cracks in the faves which is good for me :)))

Drew and I had a conversation this morning making me feel very good about him wanting to work with. So you can expect my paranoia about whether he’s just playing me or not to subside for about a day and a half but it’ll definitely be back by monday night latest. Cause we love having a character flaw of needing constant affirmation from somebody in order for my paranoia about them to subside ANYWAY, basically Drew and I were talking this morning and we began speaking about the tribe swap and he let me know that he was ecstatic with how it ended up. The key point in this conversation that made me happy was the fact that he almost instantly said he almost kinda wants to flip on the faves since they didn’t make us feel comfortable at all on the last tribe, and he also let me know that he thinks blindsiding Autumn with the fans might be a good move to make in order to split up her and Ben since he believes that her and Ben are tight.And before y’all get shook, NO I do not have any intention of blindsiding Autumn and I have every intention of making sure my queen makes merge. So that’s OFF the table, But Drew doesn’t know that. I spoke to Autumn last night and asked her about her general feelings on the people who were on our tribe prior to this game. She basically said that she really like Drew and Julia, Julia makes sense because of Crossroads and I also know she was being hella social on our pre-swap tribe and Drew also makes sense cause as soon as Drew said publicly that him mo and autumn should make a chat to talk about Drag race, I knew that would be a talking point that will bond autumn and drew together. But then again if Autumn feels like she has to say that just because she might feel like I’m close to drew then it might not be true. But idk how much people are actually worried about drew and i working together cause nobody seemed to care about the crossroads cess pool that our pre swap tribe was. I’m planning to go on a call with little miss drew and tell him that Autumn said she really likes him and that she feels that they’ve bonded over drag race in order to get drew to see autumn more as a number than as a threat. Once Drew see’s somebody as a possible number to advance him in the game, he doesn’t care who you are he doesn’t want you gone, so hopefully I can throw him off of Autumn for a bit because I’m planning on trying to lowkey get something going between Autumn, Drew, and I so that we can be the ones who dictate what goes on, on this tribe. Autumn has a connection to Jake from crossroads, and Drew has a connection to Jake from Zwooper, I have a connection with jake that unless he has mentioned to anybody they wouldnt know, but jake and i actually began talking regularly before cross roads ended because he said he was a charli xcx stan in a vl which so am i so naturally i ran to his pms REAL fast. The reason were making sure miss Autumn gets to merge is because she is going to be a key factor in me playing both sides once the merge comes!! IF she really is close with ben like drew thinks, and has connections to the cross roads people and she feels that i am somebody who 100% has her back i will be clued in on anything that they might be doing behind my back. Rebecca also messaged me when the swap was announced saying that we both need to make merge so that we can kill this game together. The problem with people is they go to merge and then they asked the question of “oh no what am I going to do.” With me, every single thing I do pre-merge is so that when I do make that merge, I am in the prime position to make a long run in this game and have connections from both sides. I would like Drew in the merge to be my meat shield. Although I don’t know if people will actually try to target him because Drew is Drew and for some reason he always does really well in games.  If Drew can shield me for the first few rounds while I do my scheming and plotting and set myself up in a good position that will be perfect. The only problem is that Drew KNOWS that’s my game and I think he won’t be blind to it. This is music to my ears!! Autumn is already perceiving Drew as a threat. I love a meat shield!!! [2/18/18, 2:14:26 PM] Eddie Bracco (Mongolia host): [2/18/18, 2:12:38 PM] Autumn Hill: Like out of all the Preciado people getting swapped onto Admirador I’m glad he’s here cause he’s both strategic and good at challenges [2/18/18, 2:13:24 PM] Autumn Hill: will probably be a problem at merge haha but for now yeah he’s a big help Literally the only reason that I could be reading this situation wrong is if Autumn and Drew are somehow actually really close and planning everything they say to me to see if they can trust me

I am happy with tribe swap I feel like I am in a good spot and I like Drew and feel like he has my back.

I've been a busy busy flop. My social game has been pretty much nonexistent, and I haven't been doing well at the challenges that require a big time commitment. I'm lucky as FUCK that the favs have numbers in the swap, I was super paranoid that Ben and Mo might flip but we gucci. I'm in a sort of three person alliance with Julia and Rebecka, but Julia is my ride or die right now. I wanna make some MOVES now that I'm not as busy!!

[annalyia]

Yo this be ren n i Live for voltron dungeons and dragons because im a major nerd who is involved in 4 seprete campaigns rn (why did i do this 2 myself) and u said we could hit u up to ask about their charecters and charecter sheets n shit im curious please give me the dnd memes (also fuck monks why is there always an op monk on every single team i s2g) ooooh and if u dont wanna rply to this on ur blog im just on mobile n 2 lazy to sign in so im persona-5-is-finally-here and im never online

I’m crying someone actually wants to know my reasoning and headcanons this is the beST THING I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR

I hope that I answer everything well :D

(also one time I was the op monk and it was like a permanent high I loved it)

Lanceokay so I made Lance an elf bard because Lance always hits on the ethereal aliens (i.e nyma) and so it made since to me that he would love elves.  as for the bard idk I saw a comic one time that was Lance being a memelord by playing wonderwall for allura on a guitar and that kinda made me accept that Lance is a really good singer and dabbles in musical instruments

Keithokay so keith’s class and race are actually two of my fave things I came up with!  so keith is a tiefling.  background on those is that they’re of demon blood.  they’re half the “bad guys” so I chose this because keith is half galra.  he’s got purple skin and yellow eyes because those are common for galra and sometimes i like to think i’m clever :b  as for the rogue, it’s a good class for tiefling and rogues tend to be secretive and non-confrontational, and I figured that fit keith in the sense that he doesn’t like/want to be the leader and stuff

Mattmatt’s a cleric because (tbh) he healed my heart in season 4 I loooove him.  but it’s also because matt seems like he’s a good support character who wants the best for everyone around him.  I made him a dwarf because I love dwarves and matt seems like the kind of dude who would grow a ridiculous drawf beard for funsies and this is a way for him to live out his dream 

Alluraso I actually heavily debated making allura a full-blooded elf, but I eventually decided on half-elf because she’s living in between two worlds and doesn’t really feel like she belongs in either.  her home of altea is destroyed and she’s 10,000 years in the future so she like knows how to live and such, but she still doesn’t technically belong.  half-elves are the same because they’re often shunned by each culture.  she’s half high elf because they’re the “nobles” of the elf world.  she’s a sorcerer because their magic is innate and is inherited through bloodlines, like how allura’s magic is in her, she doesn’t get it from anything outside of herself

Hunkhunk is a human fighter because it’s the most unassuming class/race and, to me, hunk is the most unassuming of the paladins.  he pilots the yellow lion which is basically a tank, and fighters are usually the tanks of the party.  I just really felt like this was the best way to represent hunk.  there’s not the brutality that comes with being a barbarian, but there’s still a quiet strength present and that’s what hunk is to me

Shirofinally we got that one punch man.  so shiro is a human monk for the obvious reasons.  once again, human seems like an unassuming race and that’s the kind of person that shiro is.  monks, more often than not, don’t use any weapons.  so, this is obviously a tribute to when shiro didn’t have a bayard and, instead, was just fighting with his fists