#i just wanna stop hurting i dont want it to hurt
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mak-be-ghouled · 1 day ago
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Can’t Help Falling in Love ~ SwissTom
It’s officially valentines season and swisstom has not left my mind so enjoy 800ish words of just toothrotting fluff under the cut <3
There’s never really a time where Phantom isn’t moving in some way, be it tapping his fingers, bouncing his leg, chewing on something, or in times like these, dancing around the kitchen to whatever song it is he has playing through his headphones.
Swiss stops to lean in the doorway of the kitchen, to just, watch. As he goes to take a sip of his coffee he can’t help but chuckle to himself, his breath blowing warm steam back into his face as it hits the hot coffee inside.
Phantom appears to be in his own world, dancing without a care in the world as he waits for the toaster to finish. When it does, he jumps, he swears one day he’ll get used to how it practicatty throws his toast back out when it’s done, today however, does not seem to be that day.
And as much as Swiss would love to dedicate himself to standing here all day watching Phantom go about his own, he just can’t resist the urge to wrap his hands around his bug.
As Phantom begins spreading jelly onto his toast, Swiss stalks up behind him, wrapping his arms around Phantom’s waist, hooking his chin over Phantom’s shoulder.
“Mornin buggy” Swiss whispers, voice still soft and hoarse from sleep.
Phantom replies with a rumbly purr and an attempt to turn himself around so he can bury his face in Swiss’ bare chest.
Chuckling, Swiss moves to take Phantom’s headphones off and pulls out his own phone with a significantly slower song beginnning to play.
“Dance with me baby?” Swiss asks, a smile painting his face.
And of course Phantom is already nodding, how could he say no?
But Phantom doesn’t really know how to dance, not this kind of dance at least. Sure he’s seen Mountain and Cumulus slow dancing in the kitchen late at night, but that’s different. He’s never done this before, though he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little jelous everytime he saw Swiss and Aurora dancing together.
He doesn’t realize it but Phantom must be letting out a whine because all of a sudden Swiss is asking “Hey what’s wrong sweetheart, hm?” and pulling away just enough to look into Phantom’s eyes.
“Just…don’ know how” Phantom says, dodging Swiss’ eyes as best he can, a little embarrassed with himself.
“Aw don’t worry about that baby, lucky for you i’m a great teacher” Swiss smiles with a wink.
And to his credit, Swiss is a great teacher, Phantom is just…clumsy and well, a bit comparable to a baby deer if Swiss thinks about it too much.
Its cute really, endearing in a way Swiss can’t really explain and he’s obsessed with it to say the very least.
Phantom on the other hand is very much not, he’s mad at his dumb legs for not moving to their dumb place on the dumb beat of the music and all of this is just dumb ok! why can he just do it?? everyone else always makes it look so easy and the way Swiss even says it makes it sound easy!
“Hey, hey, why don’t we take a break sweetheart, feel bad about takin you away from your breakfast” Swiss says, trying to guide Phantom back over to the counter where his forgotten toast lays…soggy
“No! I just want to get it! Why can i do it?? Please Swiss, what am I doing wrong, you won’t hurt my feelings just tell me” Phantom practically begs, he really does just want to get it right.
But to be quite honest, Swiss doesn’t even know what it is that Phantom is doing wrong, just knows it’s obviously not working.
“Here I’ve got an idea bug, stand on my feet” Swiss says pulling Phantom closer.
“What? why, I dont wanna hurt you” Phantom says, confusion painting his face”
“You’re not gonna hurt me baby, cmon just do it” Swiss replies.
And so Phantom does, as gently as he can he steps onto Swiss’ feet and wraps his arms around Swiss’ neck like he had before.
Swiss laces his arms back around Phantom’s waist and begins moving to the music.
And just like that, they’re dancing together.
Phantom begins giggling into Swiss’ shoulder, thinking about the absurdity of this all, two demons from hell dancing to some cliche love song early on a sunday morning, and yet neither of them could be happier than in this very moment.
Swiss goes to ask Phantom what it is that’s so funny but, before he can, Phantom pulls him into a kiss, and just like that the rest of the world melts out of existence, the only thing still there being them, both of them silently willing this moment to never end.
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pup-pee · 8 months ago
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for kart request, can we get more disabled!bart and kon?
!!!! them!!!!!!
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uhm,,,,,,,then also i fucked up the download of this drawing so ;;
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I DREW THE OUTFITS SLUGGY DREW THEM IN BC THE DRAWING IS STUCK IN MY HEAD AKSJFHSJKDGHFJA
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mushed-kid · 3 months ago
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backfromtwitterforw · 11 months ago
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There's legal silence where you keep sensitive information to yourself. And there's silence where you don't even say "please be patient we'll update you in time, we're actually talking to the union/the admins/the intern team". For us viewers, we don't need to know more than to have the assurance that things are being taking care of. We don't need to be repeated the exact same info I différent words over and over again.
There's silence with your team where you want to be careful with your wording. And there's silence with your team where you keep them completely in the dark about their future, not even saying what they just need to hear: "sorry about how things turned out, we have no certainty in either taking you back or not, right now our priority is financial stability, we cannot tell you our différent options so far, but we'll update you when and if we can afford to take you back".
There's silence where you ask for discretion because you will not be able to keep that many people in the team and don't want leaks about what branches are kept and which one will close, then announcing to a whole group of admins that they'll be let out of the project starting this or this day. And there's silence where you warn a lot of twitter update admins that they won't be in the project starting immediately through discord and closing said discours before everyone had even a chance to read it.
There's silence where you're afraid of leaks and there's silence where you don't treat people working for you with respect.
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moeblob · 10 months ago
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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geoffrey · 10 months ago
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the seperation of lesbians and gay men is a travesty. "why are there so many historic gay bars and only like a handful of lesbian bars in the whole country" why are being gay and lesbian not the same thing in this context. you dont need to fuck everyone at the bar and it is a problem that needs to be addressed if these spaces arent mutually hospitable. and this applies to most gay/lesbian spaces imo
#its just wrong to assume gay spaces arent for women and if any gay men are reinforcing that it needs to be stopped lol#but a lot of it seems like very gender-biased willing exclusion bc they dont wanna associate with men#which um. grow up to you too#gender segregation is just evil period#other than intimate circumstances if you refuse to hang around people you perceive as x gender#its a problem you need to work on it's not just a right you've earned#now yes of course there are able to be specific cases of bars that are more explicitly lesbian or gay#but assuming if a bar is a ''gay bar'' its just for gay men is a fallacy... do you even go to these places?#''buh buh buh if theres a drag show drag is insulting to women cis and trans'' its not. address your revulsion#i know i come across harsh toned im actually more being flabbergasted that weve got to this point rather than saying hey you in particular#its just so strange to have grew up in the gay climate i did where the only lesbian flag was just lipstick lesbian and the girls didnt like#if you assumed every lesbian fell under it and to just use rainbow#and now people act like gay and lesbian arent synonyms because of gender seperatism. which disproportionally hurts members of the lgbt#community because they are more likely to be gnc lol#also a lot of individual opinions you just see the terf hand guiding.#and i HATE THE TOOTHPASTE FLAG!!#no pink flag for girls so blue flag for boys get the fuck out of my face#i dont want to superficially share my experiences with gay men i need community with gay PEOPLE
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james-spooky · 4 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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br1ghtestlight · 3 months ago
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i dont actually know when the american election is just sometime within the next few days right
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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months ago
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...
#bleh. i need half the country to pls stop being on fire. id like to go out and run pls. but its so smokey i can barely see the mountain#i live near :-/ also im just tired and frustrated. its incredible how quickly i vasilate between#things r going well. i should stay in my program and work with cyanos forever. to no no no im not cut out for this. i gotta leave. to yay#let me throw myself head first into consuming every second of my life with working. but only on the things that dont require me to think#which is y im not cut out for this and should be bannished to a world of only doing lab work and following instructions#also i have an screening interview monday for an R0DBT group. so i might b going to control freak classes#assuming i cant convince the lady that im not fit for thr class. which obviously i am bc im my therapist listed the ppl who r#usually put into r0dbt and i was like hm im a lot of those things. but also its 2hrs every week and thats a lot of time. and i feel like im#already on the path away from violently structuring my life specifically bc ive done so much damage#ugh. also i have ridiculously high self standards but i only do anything halfway bc i cant fail if i never try 100%.#so im like a fake control freak. or rather i cant even fully commit to being controlling. im lazy and i dont have the drive.#which almost makes it worse bc im stading at this threshold of control where it destroys me but never actually succeeds in being a perfect#thing. which is def a distorted way to think about it but there u go. ugh. im just tired and my arm hurts too much to draw bc#im older and older everyday. and i dont wanna read papers. i dont wanna grade or work on my presentation. i didn't want to spend 3.5 hrs#doing transfers this morning. and my mom's been dead for 6months and 3 days now. and i still dont kno where ill be a year from now#unrelated
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risingsunresistance · 7 months ago
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dont think im gonna be able to make myself finish this (as of now) but i had fun with the leg
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thelastsaiyanprincess · 3 months ago
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why am i good enough to be a fuck buddy or a play partner or a fwb, but not good enough to be a girlfriend? why do people always wanna talk to me, but never pursue me? why am i good enough to flirt with, but not good enough to love?
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xxplastic-cubexx · 22 hours ago
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Pinoy Pride Headcanons ft.Cherik
Charles ain't a sweet tooth himself but he does occationally eat some good 'ol Halo Halo. He is as well likes ube (cakes, rice cakes etc.) 'cause its reminds him of Erik (the color purple hehe)
Erik do enjoy Lumpiang Sariwa than Lumpia itself (IK CONTROVERSIAL BUT-)
Charles and Erik argue what Filipino dish is good between Sinigang or Adobo. But they settle with agree to disagree about it instead lol
They both hate Balot - Erik is mortified about it tbf
That's all for my goofy Pinoy Pride on your ask Snap :D
Im gonna keep it 100 if youre arguing sinigang to be better than adobo my friend you lost the second you opened your mouth LIKE SINIGANG DELICIOUS but adobo is grossly iconic
#snap chats#i was JUST dragged to my mom’s friends house for filipino . linner.#dude the adobo my mom’s friend made. holy fuck i had never eaten adobo that tender and delicious#my family’s adobo is a lil on the tougher and more-savory side so having this sweet and soft/juicy adobo…. i have couvid#and oh my god im so hungey thinking of it- LECHON KAWALI UGH so delicious#i know erik could fuck up a whole pig but charles would def enjoy the smaller bits- esp that pork belly……… 😩#i feel like erik wouldnt mind balot tbh- maybe not his first choice#but hed prob be poetic about it… if hes poetic about Raw Steak then theres gotta be room for baby duck in the egg#like i feel like erik’s a lot more Open in his pallet- he’ll find a way to eat most anything/palletable to himself#Oh No My Chef Erik HC Coming Out ANYHOW. as for charles..#i do wanna say he might be a bit pickier- notP PICKY picky buuuut i do see having to convince him to try balot#not pancit tho…… bitch im just hungry sorry…… i really want pancit 🤤#charles would love stuffed milkfish. just so i can try to stay on topic#and you can never go wrong with sisig………#you CAN go wrong with lumpiang sariwa OVER REGULAR LUMPIANG????#please…… my head hurts already from not eating yet…….. dont do this to me…#honestly you know what’d be a cute treat for the boys to have ? taho#so simple yet so yummy.. i havent made it in a while- i reckon i should…#maybe this weekend who’s to say….#for now i should. probably eat djPWDNSJ#ALAS… none of it filipino food…..#thank you for letting me think of filipino food for the time being tho… maybe if i stop beinf lazy for once i can cook some this weekend…
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thorninyourpaw · 26 days ago
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my existence makes me feel awful for my family
#they really wanted someone so much better. im 21 ive done nothing with my life and i cant tell anyone im disabled#mum hid it from everyone but her entirely and now i cant say a thing or ill get her in drama and ill have to keep lying anyway#i had to lie about all the abuse and they saw through it but i still have to lie anyway for all of us i cant say i dont have a job#bc i have no id no nothing to my name no bank account no literally anything and that i have to take care of mum bc they would all just get#mean and give me a million questions and yell at me and dad already stopped talking to me for weeks bc he wouldn't listen when i was trying#to say the id stuff is convoluted ''why cant i just get it with you'' LEGALLY I DONT EVEN HAVE A DAD BC YOU REFUSED TO BE A PART OF IT AT#AT FUCKING ALL AND MUM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE AND DIDNT WANNA HIT YOU WITH SINGLE MOTHER TAX#I DOCUMENT WISE JUST STOPPED EXISTING I HAVE NO SCHOOL CARDS EVEN LIKE NOTHING AT ALL SHE LOST MY BIRTH CERT BOTH OF OURS AND I JUST?????#im sick of getting into fights about everything. my granddad is dying and i barely see him because dad doesnt like me anymore and its scary#trying to talk to him at all bc he'll yell if i stutter he'll yell if i tell him ive gone out snywhere at all he thinks everyone in the#world is just drooling to assault me but he's violent and scary so i cant tell him that anything has ever happened to me bc the one time i#even just vaguely told him someone wasnt nice to me he threatened to tie them to the back of his car and he's attacked my stepdad with a#screwdriver and thankfully he wasnt hurt badly hut like. im so scared of my dad. and it breaks my heart bc he used to be so gentle to me.#hes always had a bad temper i have haunting memories of him chasing me and mum in his car but he never once hit me. but the more i remember#the more i realise that he fucked me up honestly just as bad as mum did. im constantly scared of getting yelled at i cant be loving with#anyone not sincerely bc im terrified theyll leave me theyll hurt me and im always proven right and i miss my best friend and i miss my dad#i wish i could tell him about anything in my life i wish i could tell anyone anything all the secrets all the expectations n the way i know#everyone views me is killing me inside my family thinks im fat lazy selfish worthless dull stupid they think i dont even like seeing them#but they actively push me out every single occasion i see them i barely even have any photos with anyone i never get happy birthday messages#or calls or anything they all just forget i exist until they have to remember and i cant trll them any of my life bc ill get yelled at by#dad or called a liar or ill have one of my deepest secrets spilled to the entire family while im sleeping again.#whatever sorry
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alex-vents-or-something · 29 days ago
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anyways. how we doing gang < talking to no one
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moonlit-orchid · 10 months ago
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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out
#vent#its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything#i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just#im fucking tired ok#and I'm sorry im a bad friend#i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired#i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it#but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit#and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them#and they can lash out on me#i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not#last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend#it wasnt my fault#that friend ghosted me#im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too#but at the same time im too done to even really care#i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day
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smiley-positivity-potato · 3 months ago
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i was crocheting puff flowers earlier but now im a very depressed n a very sad boi that is having bad thoughts. but im trying.
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