#and even that. im getting worse and worse at caring about

[midnight-mourning]

Love Bites

💘💘Midnight's DCA Valentine's Day 8💘💘

Okay okay okay, back on track now, please enjoy this little diaster i made based on @divinit3a's yeti boys, it was, quite fun >:3c

Prompt: umm letseee... valentines...Typically the Sun is not Out.... (for... Reasons... ahah.) but----loves to hunt, and hunt for the thrill/sport/game of it. And loves to eat & eat & would love a properly cooked meal. preference to high protein meals, very rich, very tasty, salty & fatty. so Im sure if u wanted to tackle him, in particular, could have fun with that..... (Slaps a giant fish on the table. Token of affection. Totally Wont Eat You ) The Moon.......... is a lot quieter and subdued, but actually a far better caretaker. takes care of hurt animals; would probably take care of a hurt human, too. mmm hot cocoa. much pickier eater, he doesnt like much, and he doesnt like to eat meat.... I think overall, a 'meal together' would be the best valentines fhgjsdfghjsdf WITH THESE FREAKS IN PARTICULAR...

Word Count: 2907

Read here if you prefer ao3!

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The hall is quiet as you step out from your room. You strain to listen for any sign of life, nothing. Must be out. Good. That gives you more time. 

Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the shadowed hallway, not nearly as bright as your windowed room. Though, you weren't opposed to keeping the lights off. It saved energy for one—which meant warm floor beneath your feet as you pad through the facility—and two, it kept the not as friendly yeti from making an appearance. Which, yourself and Moon were both in agreement about at least. 

When you'd first gotten here, so many months ago now, your first encounter with the yeti, robot, thing—you still haven't quite figured that one out—was less than, pleasant. Though, that may very well have been due to the state he first saw you in. Which was bloodied, bruised, and vulnerable. And as Moon would later explain it to you, that had triggered something in counterpart. Something more instinct than logical. 

Luckily for you, a ragged chase into a darkened cavern had saved you from suffering any further injury, or worse. 

Instead, you got Moon, and he was thankfully much calmer than the other bot. He also wasn't trying to kill you, so you took what you could get. He patched you up, gave you a place to stay, a nice warm bed out of the cold, and plenty of things to do while you recovered. 

When you'd first ventured out into the snow, having heard the rumors of the 'ice devil' you'd be facing, this hadn't been what you'd expected. 

Delivish upon first glance, sure. Those tusks didn't help anything, that's for certain. Not to mention Sun as a whole, the manic energy he radiated, the wild look in his eyes, the raw strength as he'd pinned you down to "Try a bite"—

But still, with Moon at the very least, the rumors didn't match up. 

He was quiet, even a bit stern in certain cases, but polite. He took his directives very seriously, but beyond that, he held a compassion you wouldn't ever have expected of a machine. Though, maybe it was because he was a bit more than that, they both were. 

Regardless, you owed him for not abandoning you out there in the frozen tundra to die. Much less putting in the effort he had to care for you.

As you traverse the hall now, there's only the slightest pain still left in your ankle as you shuffle. You'd left the crutches behind today, as you had been the past several mornings, despite the lunar-themed yeti's insistence for otherwise. 

That was another thing, the care. For a so-called devil, he had the attitude of a saint. Or well, you didn't know any saints, so a good friend then. A very good friend, at that. 

You found yourself in long conversations that would last hours, either listening to that quiet tone regale you with stories of all his travels, or sharing some of your own experiences prior to meeting them. You enjoyed the walks you'd take together through the caverns, or going with him out into the arctic—on the rare trips he would allow you with your injury—to scout for poachers and the likes. 

And those rare moments you could get him to laugh at one of your jokes, it lit something inside you that you couldn't describe. Something that albeit would be a bit more frightening than it already was if not for your situation. 

You think the combination of getting your foot caught in a bear trap, freed and then chased by a rabid yeti-bot, and then saved by the other side of that same yeti-bot, allowed you some freedom when it came to your feelings. 

But that wasn't the point to what you were doing. Rather, you wanted to show your appreciation for Moon, not your feelings. Nevermind the fact that today did just so happen to be Valentine's, having found out by checking the date on your half-dead phone. 

Besides, You didn't even know if it was even possible for him to return such affections. Truthfully, you preferred not knowing if it meant you could keep this peace you've had for so long now. You were almost afraid for when you fully healed. 

Afraid that the moment you could leave, you'd be kicked out, back into the cold to survive to find your own way back to society. That the past few months were nothing but a ruse, set up by Moon and in fact once you were at a good range, your back turned and unaware, Sun would bear down on you and—

You shake your head, no. Despite your initial encounter, Sun had been fine. He wasn't allowed out much, so you didn't speak much, though you also think he would prefer not to. It didn't necessarily have to do with you in particular, you don't think. 

Whereas Moon was more oriented to stay on task, Sun had his own personal drive to fulfill. You'd yet to figure out exactly what that was yet, however. Besides the desire to hunt and kill just for the thrill of it. Whatever it was, with your injury, you simply didn't fit into it. You had no use—for now—so he left you to your own devices. 

For now. 

You flip on the light to the kitchen area as you enter, dimmed lighting now illuminating the space. 

You'd been surprised to find there was indeed working cooking equipment in the research station. Not originally all in the same space, but with a bit of help, you'd dragged everything functional into one space. 

When it came to ingredients, you didn't have much to work with besides what either yeti brought to you. There was some very old canned food you'd found, and several containers of unopened spices, but beyond that it was slim pickings. The crate of hot coco you'd found had been a godsend. Considering the situation though, you weren't going to complain. 

The idea of making a meal had come from the simple fact of the matter that beyond hunting and protecting, Moon nor Sun did much else. So, providing nourishment would have to be your way to pay back their hospitality. Or at least, Moon's hospitality. If Sun enjoyed something you made, you'd consider that in and of itself a victory.

So, you set to work immediately. Opening the fridge, you pulled out one of the the few items in there, a massive bluefin tuna, which took up the majority of the space. You struggle to take it out, much less carry it with wobbling limbs over to the island. When you put it on the counter, you almost swear you hear it creak under the weight. 

You step back and let out a breath, admiring the giant fish for a moment. While the two really only ate for fuel—a fish like this would just simply be devoured as is from what you'd seen—you knew they could taste, and that when presented with chances to try something that was flavored in some regard, they did seem to enjoy it. Especially Sun, having taken one bite of your beef jerky and snatching the rest away for himself when you'd not been paying attention. 

Though you only had the one fish and just a few other ingredients to work with, you had several ideas in mind for how to properly utilize it. Taking the large butcher knife, you cleaned, gutted, and scaled it, and divided it up into proper pieces. 

The loin you'd make steaks out of, pan searing and basting in fats, utilizing the bit of pepper and spices you had available. You set aside three to cook and stored the rest in the freezer. 

The back you would smoke, creating some jerky from the pieces there. Thankfully, Moon kept firewood around in case the power failed entirely, and you doubted he would notice a few pieces going missing. You'd utilized one of the broken freezers for your smokehouse. 

The belly would be raw, sliced thin and served with a bit of the salty roe that you'd discovered inside the fish initially. 

As for the remaining bits of the fish, you'd stew the bones for a broth and fry the collar and cheeks as one final touch to finish off the meal. 

It was a lot, all things considered, and for them it may very well be next to nothing in comparison to their appetites, especially Sun's. But, that wasn't going to deter you from trying your best to make something from your heart. So, you got to work. 

You had no idea when Moon would return, so you tried your best to work both quickly and effectively. Thankfully, since several items were basic prep, they took very little time to come together. You enjoyed it, the process overall. After all the time being spent on you, being able to give back felt gratifying in its own way, exciting even. Again, ignoring your own feelings about the yeti. 

At some point, you even find a small radio, the batteries still good to your delight. Despite your location, you can just barely catch a signal as sappy love songs play from some far away station. You hum and dance and sing to the music as you cook, the time passing by like nothing to you in your focused state. You even are able to make yourself some hot coco, sipping on it throughout the cooking process. 

You're so focused, even, that you don't notice the towering presence hovering around the other side of the counter until you turn directly to face it. You were just setting down the last bit of the meal, ready to sit and wait for Moon's return, so color you shocked when you find yourself face to chest with Sun instead. 

His head cocked to the side as he looks down at you, expression unreadable as he examines you with that calculated stare.

"You've been busy." He states. 

You come out of your daze, shaking your head. "I-yeah. I have."

"Tore up the meat. A pity. I was going to enjoy that." He picks at one of his claws, you see a hint of red stained there before he glances back up to you, grin wide. "Though, it's not nearly as good as when it's fresh, anyhow."

You both know that fresh isn't quite what he's implying. 

You swallow, while you'd been expecting Moon—and would have preferred him, especially in this case—this was technically a gift for the day-themed yeti too.

Deciding you weren't going to let your lingering fear overtake you, you straighten up, and steady your voice. "This is all for you, actually. And Moon, of course. I, wanted to extend my thanks for, allowing me to stay these past few months." This again was technically all for Moon, but you couldn't exactly say that with Sun standing right in front of you. 

"I—Me?" He questions, eyes widening and grin falling. 

You nod. "Yeah, I um, figured that something made with a bit more care might be something you guys liked. I noticed you never really get the chance to... add more flavor to things, and you seemed to like my snacks in the past so, i just—" You stop when you find that he's eye to eye with you now, baring down on you with a serious expression you weren't anticipating. 

"You made us, me, a meal?" The way the words are half-snarled mere inches from your face makes you flinch. 

"Y-yes?"

Sun stares at you for a bit longer, and if you weren't so alarmed you'd move away. But you don't. 

After a few moments more, he huffs, then starts to chuckle, standing straight again. "Aren't you just so interesting, Little Star?" 

You feel confusion knit your brows only for them to shoot up in shock as Sun's hand suddenly grasps your chin, leaning in again. 

His other hand snatches one of the pieces of raw fish from the table, eating it in one bite. "Such an offering from you is, surprising but, despite your, obvious misconceptions about our relationship, I suppose I can consider it." He tilts your head this was and that. "You're not the worst option I've ever been presented with."

"I, huh?" 

He let's you go again, grabbing one of the steaks with his bare hands. His teeth tear through it like it's nothing. You can only watch as you try to understand what he's saying, not entirely comprehending it. 

When he's finished, he wipes his mouth, snickering to himself. "I certainly can't wait to see what he thinks of your proposition. I'm sure it will be entertaining to say the least."

Before you can respond, he walks over to the light switch, dimming the lights as low as possible, thus allowing for Moon to take his place. 

As the switch occurs, Sun makes one final remark, and it all finally clicks to you. "Something you should keep in mind though if I do accept, Sunshine, is that I don't share."

With that, you're left with an embarrassing realization, and Moon. 

You can't make eye contact with him, instead turning around and starting to busy yourself with cleaning up to distract from the burning feeling spread across your cheeks. 

You can't believe you didn't put together that something like this would mean something like that to them. But it's not like you would have known either! How were you supposed to understand the cultural differences between humans and yeti-robots that lived in abandoned research centers? This feels like something that was on them and not you to be honest. 

Your half-delusioned reasonings do nothing to stop the racing in your heart as you clean, and you just hope to finish up quickly, grab a snack for yourself, and get out of there to keep yourself from any further embarrassment. 

"It's very good, Starlight."

You pause for a moment, then hum. "Y-yeah?"

"Yes. The amount of flavor you've packed into each dish is... incredible." Moon says, sounding genuinely a bit in awe. 

It only worsens your state, mumbling back a quiet response. "I'm, I'm glad you like it."

Quiet between the two of you. The radio still plays softly throughout the space, only disrupted by the sound of clinking as you clean things up, or Moon's utensils scraping against each other. 

"So what Sun said—" "You should eat too—"

You both stop, and looking back to him, you laugh softly. 

You nod. "You first."

"Join me." He pats a seat next to him. "It's only fair after the effort you've put in."

"Oh! Okay." 

You try not to make a fool of yourself as you make your way over and sit down. You can only protest as Moon piles you a plate full of food, depositing it in front of you once he's finished. 

He hands you a fork, chuckling at the scowl on your features. "You need your energy too, if you want to stand any chance at getting better."

"You're not wrong." You sigh, taking a bite of the smoked fish. As you'd hoped, it's delicious, and you appreciate your own efforts to make such good food in that moment. 

"So,"—Moon reaches for a bit of the fried collar—"You were saying?"

You almost choke on the bite you just swallowed. You regain your composure to answer. "I, um, Sun mentioned, that um, something like this was very, very, important to you guys in a specific way. Which, honestly I didn't know and I'm so sorry if I've offended you I just wanted to do something nice—"

You're interrupted by a kiss pressed to your forehead. 

"I would say offended is nowhere close to the feelings you've elicited. Honestly." The night-themed yeti states, amusement between the words. "Rather, I find myself rather interested in your proposal, intentional or not."

Your eyes widen ever further. "Pr-proposal?"

"If I'm misreading, then I am sorry, Star. But I—"

"No!" You shake your head, trying again. "No, you're not um, misreading. But again this wasn't my intent at all. I'm definitely all for it. I mean, to a point you know, sorry this isn't something I ever expected to happen but I really do like you, a lot and—"

Instead of a kiss, a piece of tuna is pressed into your mouth, and with how good it is you can't say for sure that you'd prefer the kiss or not. As you chew, a slight scowl on your features, Moon laughs. It makes your heart flutter for a moment. 

"I really like you too. I wasn't sure that you'd feel the same, so I didn't act on those feelings. But, since you've shown that you clearly feel something,"—He snickers as you shoot him another glare—"For me, I'm more than happy to make it clear to you now."

"Gee, thanks." 

Another kiss is pressed to your hair, arm wrapping around you and you welcome it, snuggling into the warm fur next to you. You grab a piece of tuna, munching on it to hide your fluster in that moment. 

"And since he's already said it, I will too." Moon's voice is right next to your ear in that moment, low but lethal. 

"I don't share either."

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Thank you for the request @divinit3a!! I had lots and lots of fun with the yetis and i can't wait to see what else you do with them yourself, i may perhaps do a bit more when I find the time hehehehe

My writing Masterpost

DCA Valentine's Masterpost

Tag list (if you would like added, simply say so!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay @that-one-unknown-artist @rosescarletful @buzzybee3

[wintergrofyuri]

hero tired and stressed and anxious. constantly comparing himself to the long quiet. wishing they were still there. worrying he wont be enough to keep them all together. having stress dreams about being alone in the long quiet (the place). the mirror, the princess. the narrator. isolating himself from the others.

having to be physically dragged away from his brooding. being all "im fine" and then passing the fuck out not even 2 minutes into flock cuddle time. not even waking up while they fight over who gets to be closest (thank god btw smitten wld never be able to live with the guilt).

adversary and stubborn inviting him to a tussle. politely declining but suggesting he just watch, since he can tell they just wanted an excuse to hang out. ending up in a tussle anyways when adversary throws stubborn into him. hero not at All keeping up with them but its ok bc the closeness, physical or otherwise, is more than enough for him.

burned and drowned grey inviting themselves in bc burned is forcing drowned to interact with the voices more and decided hero is a good place to start. hero being scrambling a bit bc he wasnt expecting visitors (and hes still a little wary around the ghosts) but trying to be a gracious host. burned being all "see how cute and nice and sweet he is" and hero getting all flustered. drowned says nothing but she Does squish his cheeks a little. burned calls it a success.

broken seeking him out for when he just wants company and comfort. hero claims his door is always open and hes never once refused anyone. but sometimes others are already there. paranoid or opportunist. sometimes contrarian. a vessel or two is not uncommon either; spectre and damsel are especially fond of him. broken always feels like hes intruding, though. cold, on the other hand, does not care. he will invite himself in any hour just for hero time. he has advised broken to do the same.

they love him. they adore him. they put him on a pedestal. they care for him and worry about him and stress him worse than anything. all pressure he puts on himself. to be perfect. to be what he thinks they want him to be. he does not know how deep and unconditional it all is. they dont want him to Be anything other than himself. bc what he Is is what they fawn over. he could be reciting the fucking yellow pages and theyd still hang off every word.

anyways this makes no sense and its all over the place and basically just a stream of consciousness but this has been in my drafts long enough and i need everyone to know that hero harem is still 🔛🔝💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥🌈🦈✨

[hyunjuenthusiast]

Im craving for angst , so girl can you write about Hyun ju x female reader

Basically Hyun ju and female reader have been dating for 1 and half year now, but things didn't went so well after attending squid game, Hyun ju gave young mi more attention , than she did for female reader so she distance herself from Hyun ju and her team, wondering why female reader ditched her. So female reader went to Gi Hun's team instead. And to make things worse not only Hyun ju voted O to continue the game, but Hyun ju lost the love of her life during the Mingle, ANND.. It took Hyun ju 2 to 4 business days to figure out that she hasn't been a good girlfriend ever since they came to squid game and Hyun ju Crashes out so badly.

(Female reader committed su!cide during Mingle, died instead of young mi and the shaman lady predicted female reader's death)

(And YES the guilt is definitely eating Hyun ju alive)

Sorry if this is too long

Take your time for this one

゜・（／。＼）・゜

Okayyyy complex, I like it! Hopefully I do this ask justice 🙏🏻

HER ANGEL

Pairing: Hyun-ju x femreader

Warnings: ANGST, depression, death, suicide, longing, survivors guilt.

Insecure. That was a word Y/n had always been familiar with. Ever since she was little. Her mother would criticize everything she did. If she ate too much, if she didn't eat enough. If her hair was down, if her hair was up. If she smiled, and if she didn't smile. Everything she did up until she was an adult was judged.

When she finally got the taste of freedom, moving out at the ripe age of eighteen, she discovered that the world was an ugly place. Nothing like how she fantasized how it would be. The books were wrong.

For the first few years after moving out, she was alone. Truly alone. She had no one. No friends to call late at night, no fuzzy kitten to cuddle when she had tears running down her face on a rainy day. No significant other who would whisper sweet nothings to her as she fell asleep... No one.

Not until she met her angel. Hyun-ju.

Everything had changed. For the first time in her life, Y/n felt like she deserved to take up space in the world. Hyun-ju made her feel wanted, loved. She erased every insecurity Y/n had. She loved every flaw and imperfection. She kissed her scars and wiped her tears.

Hyun-ju was her soul mate.

Y/n didn't care that her angel was different. She didn't care how people looked at them in public. Hyun-ju was perfect, in every way. Even if her angel couldn't see it for herself.

Hyun-ju told Y/n of her wishes for surgery. She had cried to Y/n about her debt and abandonment. And Y/n was there to comfort her in return, wiping her angels tears away and whispering promises.

So when a nice-looking man asked Y/n to play a game, showing her the money she would win, of course she agreed. For her angel, for Hyun-ju.

Y/n didn't need convincing to call the number on the back on the card. Once she saw Hyun-ju looking at herself in front of the mirror, her eyes filled with loathing, she dialed the number.

It was the least she could do. Hyun-ju had given Y/n her sense of self back. She had given Y/n her smile back. Of course, she would return the favor. Anything for her angel.

Waking up to the blasted music, she looked around to see other people. Waring the ugliest green she had ever seen. Looking down at herself, she saw her jacket was labeled 005.

She gathered around like everyone else. Waiting for an explanation. There were so many pink guards and even more players. They explained that they weren't trying to collect debt or cause any harm.

"Excuse me!" Said a voice. Not just any voice. Her angel's voice. Y/n quickly turned and saw Hyun-ju. Her Hyun-ju standing near a couple of bunks. She didn't catch what her angel said next, only focused on the fact that she was here.

Y/n winced as she saw Hyun-ju getting slapped. That was the day her angel had gone on a walk. She remembers her coming home, acting strange. Hyun-ju had met the salesman before Y/n did.

As all the players walked in single file lines up the colorful steps to get their pictures taken, Y/n looked around for Hyun-ju. Seeing her fixing her hair prettily, she smiles and quickly walks up to her. "Angel!" Y/n gushes.

Instead of greeting Y/n with a smile, Hyun-ju tenses. Asking her what she was doing here. "I know how much you need the money..." Y/n whispers softly, watching as Hyun-ju's eyes soften.

As they all walk into the first game, Hyun-ju holds Y/n's hand. "Don't separate from me, sweet girl. Okay?" Her angel asks softly. Y/n squeezes her hand in return.

"What is that?" Y/n asks, pointing to the giant doll like figure in the distance.

"Green light..."

Y/n quickly runs forward a few steps, then stops.

"Red light!" The doll waits, seeing if anyone would move.

The first to go was 196. Y/n stood, stiff as a board, the sound of people dying behind her. When the doll says green light, no one moves forward, but Hyun-ju reaches over and grips Y/n's hand.

Player 456 explains that they will die anyway if they don't cross the finish line in time, and so, she stays behind Hyun-ju, racing towards the finish line.

Once across, she watches in horror as her angel races back across to help player 456. This is the first and only time that Y/n has ever wanted to yell at Hyun-ju.

The second game is the six legged pentathlon. Her and Hyun-ju look around for more teammates. She notices Hyun-ju's fallen expression when people stare at her, and when they don't want to join because of her.

"Excuse me?" A timid voice says from behind the both of them. Y/n and Hyun-ju turn to see a small girl, obviously nervous. "W-Would you...like to team up with me?" She asks, looking at Hyun-ju first, then to Y/n.

Ever since then, Hyun-ju had been attached at the hip with Young-Mi. It was hard for Y/n not to notice, especially in a place like this. When she wanted comfort and reassurance from her angel, she would see that Hyun-ju was already comforting Young-Mi, that she was already whispering words of encouragement to her instead of Y/n.

But that was just who her angel was. She was kind to everyone, and Y/n had no right to take that away from Young-Mi. Y/n could clearly see how terrified the small girl was, and if Hyun-ju was her safe place, then who was Y/n to take that away from her?

That's was until Y/n heard it. What Hyun-ju was saying to Young-Mi.

"I won't let anything happen to you, sweet girl." Hyun-ju had said. Y/n felt her stomach drop. Sweet girl. That was Y/n's nickname. That was her word of endearment.

She decided to give them space. Joining player 456 and his team.

The third game was mingle.

As they all stood on the platform, Y/n watched as Hyun-ju held Young-Mi's hand, giving her soft smiles. Y/n felt horrible for feeling envious. Would she always be cursed to be this insecure? Would she ever feel content with anything?

"TEN"

The voice said. Everyone scrambled to find their groups and rooms. So far, their team had nine after joining Hyun-ju. Until her angel grabbed the crazy shaman lady.

Running into the green room, Y/n pants, not even bothering to look at her angel holding onto another woman. Hyun-ju gives her a confused look, wondering why she had left their group.

"Your heavy sorrow will swallow you whole." The crazy lady says, making everyone look at her. Y/n shrinks into herself as she realizes that she's talking to her. "You won't last much longer, I'm afraid. Pity. You have the purest birthstone."

"SIX" the voice says.

Gi-hun and Young-il had split from the group, leaving Y/n no other choice but to join Hyun-ju.

They all run to a yellow door, freezing in their tracks as they see a group is already in there. Hyun-ju races to find a different one.

She found one.

Y/n starts to run towards it with the other people in her group, but when she sees player 333 running towards it too, she slows down.

Looking over at her angel, she sees her clutching Young-Mi's hand.

The pregnant girl holds her belly.

The mother and sun cling to each other.

Where did Y/n fit into that? She didn't.

She has seen Jun-hee talking to player 333 on several occasions...

She needed him, more than any of them needed Y/n.

She made her decision then.

As player 333 races into the room, she finally hears Hyun-ju calling for her. Her angel was trying to get 333 out of the way.

Y/n walks to the door, looking into the small slit. "Y/n, what the hell are you doing? Go find a room! Go!" Hyun-ju shouts. Y/n only shakes her head softly.

"Ita okay angel." She whispers, putting her hands onto the door. Hyun-ju is starting to panic. The timer still had thirteen seconds on it. "I know there's no place for me here. Not now." Y/n says, tearing up.

Hyun-ju continues to shout, begging Y/n to go find a room. "You made me feel so inside the lines, Hyun-ju. Like I wasn't a lost shade outside of the pretty design. I could actually fit inside the art." Y/n says with a sad smile.

"I never thanked you for that." She says. "Thank you for showing me. For guiding me to see who I was for the first time."

Nine seconds on the timer.

"I know you'll be happy. You'll make it out of here and live the life you've always dreamed of...live the life you've always deserved. A life, with Young-Mi." Y/n's lip quivers.

Four seconds on the timer.

Hyun-ju starts shaking the door, sobbing and yelling. "I love you, my angel." She whispers tearfully, letting out a pained breath as she feels the bullet peirce her back.

"NO! Y/N!"

Player 333 had left that room beaten to a bloody pulp.

At first, Young-Mi's hand doesn't feel out of place instead of her own, not for the next two games.

Until Y/n's words repeat instead of her head.

A life...with Young-Mi.

Once she realizes it, she drops Young-Mi's hand as if it had burned her. She had been holding the wrong woman. Comforting the wrong woman. Calling her...

She had called the wrong woman sweet girl.

Hyun-ju looks over to Young-Mi, a tear falling. She had made the love of her life question her love.

She had been at fault for her sweet girl's death. Not 333. Not even the guards. Hyun-ju was the reason.

"Don't worry. You'll be seeing her again, " the shaman says. "A lot sooner than you think."

For the next game... was human chess.

I'm scared.... what do we think?

[pampushky]

they hang on every breath

Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader - chapter 5 - 4k words

First of all:

GO BIRDS WE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN! SURPRISE! IM AN EAGLES FAN! anyway enjoy <3

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October, 2005. FIA Headquarters, Paris

When they’d first founded the pack, Niki was the original Prime Alpha. James Hunt had been the Prime Beta. At the time, there had yet to be any omega to work in any formula series, let alone drive or work on the car. So Marlene had been the Prime Omega then, completing all the proper paperwork for the pack to be recognized by the FISA, FIA, and any other group that tried to argue against the rights of the drivers. 

Then James had died in 1993 before being able to step down, leading Aryton to take over as the Prime Beta the next week, only to follow after James in 1994. The pack had almost crumbled, and Niki had never quite gotten over either of them, just silently watching as a nervous Mika took over as the Prime at the next race. 

Micheal had been his paddock pup, with Mika beside him, the two rather rambunctious and energetic about everything. Shiny-eyed and seeing the good in everything where Niki had been dulled by the deaths he’d witnessed, and the severance of his mating bond. 

Marlene, luckily, cared about the pack just as fiercely as her former mate, staying in the Prime Omega position well after Niki had stepped down and let Micheal take the reigns. 

And by then, there were omegas allowed to drive. It had been the 90s— it was finally seen as barbaric to prevent someone from driving based on their designation— and now it was nearly a decade into the 21st century! Yet it wouldn’t be until 2001 that a suitable candidate for Prime Omega really emerged. 

Which was what was causing such a headache now. 

Niki was in no mood to be here right now. But the FIA had insisted that this was the only time the pack situation could be amended and that Fernando could finally be appointed as the Prime Omega, with Marlene there to witness and step down to let him take over. 

Two hours, just to change all that. Even with Niki, Mika, Micheal, and Marlene there to speed things up and get everything done. Two hours with a squirming four-year-old who did not like being stuck in a stuffy hallway in a brand-new city, who seemed very content to make it everyone’s problem. 

You had been squealing and chirping angrily for the past hour, with no sign of stopping.

 Apparently, having two Prime Betas not being present (regardless of the fact that both were very publicly not alive anymore) complicated things. At least the official had the decency to look ashamed when he asked Mika where Ayrton and James were, to give their consent on this change. Or perhaps it was the death stare that Niki was giving him, with you looking equally as confused from where you’d been standing behind his legs. Those same, piercing eyes looking at the official, who finally stuttered out the approval and finally let everything move forward. 

It’s not as if Niki wanted to drag you along to all of this. You’d been perfectly content to stay curled up in the nest in Höf. However, Mathias had business to attend to, and Lukas was at the factory testing, some favor that had been called in by a friend when their driver hadn’t been able to. Marlene had to be in Paris for the meeting. 

A true stroke of bad luck, but looking at his own burn scars and the tiny compression gloves that were made to fit you, Niki reasoned it could always be worse. Your eyes meet his, as though he’s looking in a mirror, before you whine to Marlene again, high-pitched and more frustrated than anxious.

You wanted to explore the new city! That’s what your Sisi had said you could do when all of this was over. He’d take you to get crepes and help you make the coziest nest possible in Micheal’s Paris apartment to watch Lilo & Stitch for the thousandth time with Marlene and himself.

It was a waiting game now. 

Marlene was gently bouncing you in her arms, whispering to you to keep you entertained, and failing. Your little face was scrunched up in annoyance and you were puffing up your cheeks. Looking at your adoptive grand-dam with the biggest puppy-dog eyes, and failing to get what you wanted. Marlene was well-versed in your attempted bribery and ensured you weren’t too spoiled by Niki. 

 Your hair was growing back, now about three inches long from your scalp, and a shocking white color that rivaled even the oldest members of the grid. 

“Likely from all the stress,” the doctor whispered, after telling Niki the news, one sunny April day after you’d been given a full body exam, to check the progress of your healing, and to examine the full extent of the damage to your scalp. “It’s not thinning, and seems healthy otherwise. It’s actually quite thick, so it’ll require constant grooming and maintenance when the pup is able to access her canine form. The scalp has been, by some miracle, untouched, so, thank God above for that,” 

The doctor looked over her shoulder to you, where you were sitting on the bed, examining the scented rabbit that bore your dam’s scent. Watching as Lukas and Mathias made it dance and play with you on the bed. You reach for the rabbit, with little hands, wearing a compression glove and sleeve. It would be a week until you were discharged. And you were starting to adjust nicely to the new routine of your life. 

And now your hair was being gently smoothed down to your head by Alonso, talking to you in Spanish while you looked up at him with wide, examining eyes, before wordlessly opening your arms for the Spanish omega to hold you with a little chirp. Making a little huffing noise from your nose as that was familiar to anyone who had been around pups. 

You felt safe there. Even while Micheal, Mika, and now Fernando discussed the pack, with Marlene coaching the omega who would finally take over for her. You were curled against Fernando, eyes closed in content, purring. A little barret with blue and yellow in your hair to hold it out of your face that Nando seemed to have pulled from nowhere. Micheal scowls at the Renault merchandise. Likely already planning on dressing you in a head-to-toe outfit of Rosso Corsa the next time he’s visiting.

“She’s a Ferrari fan.”

“She’s a baby,” Nando sticks his tongue out, still every bit as immature as he was when he was first promoted to F1, but now seen as an equal to Micheal. “And she’s got im–im–im— oh, merde, what’s the English word?

“Impeccable,” Mika provides helpfully, the Finn simply happy to be there. Riding on the high of now officially having a new Prime Omega. “Being in accordance with the highest standards of propriety.” 

“Thank you. She has impeccable fashion taste. It’s not my fault the color scheme is so much better.” Nando coos, and you make another little huffing noise. 

The three current primes of the pack all freeze, before trying to play off how excited they are about your quiet happy noises. Especially Micheal, who has already lost control over some parts of his canine form, as though he’s a teenager again. His tail thumps against the wall, as Mika makes a happy crooning noise from the back of his throat. And Fernando preens, cooing to you. His instincts winning over. He’s beyond proud to be holding you, the youngest member of the pack, the sweet little pup that has been secretly snuck into so many different races, all to protect your identity.

Marlene turns back to Niki, silently mouthing ‘Are you seeing this?’ just as you make another happy huffing noise into Nando’s shoulder. Cue the mental happy dance that Niki knows he and Marlene both doing right now because you had only let your immediate pack and Micheal hold you. And you were now actively cuddling into Fernando’s shoulder— huffing! Like a pup! 

When Max Mosley himself came to hand over the documents, even he cooed over how you’re now asleep against Fernando. Drooling on his shoulder with the mottled side of your jaw and cheek pressed into his formal wear. You’re an adorable little thing, snuggled into the Prime Omega’s embrace. You wake up the moment they leave the building, blinking slowly at the sun. 

Marlene takes you then, laughing at the sleepy chirrups and whines you make at her, slurring between German and English as your Sisi rubs the sleep lines on your cheek. You squirm at their touch and clearly want to be let down. Your steps are wobbly, but you’re determined, taking several which steps away, as fast as you can on your warped leg. It drags slightly as you step, making it so you’re not as fast as you think. 

“Oh, the littlest member of our pack,” Micheal coos, lifting you easily to sit on his shoulders, laughing at the angry squeal you make after being caught. You grip onto his more wolfish ears that have revealed themselves, as though you’re going to steer him into the direction you want him to go. 

“Mick? Mick and Gina?” You lean over, to look at him, eyes wide and hopeful.  “Here?”

“Auf Deutsch fragen, Mausi.” Micheal looks at you, grinning. Mika seems to scowl a bit, letting out a stream of Finnish that the German just pokes his tongue out at him, like a child. Fernando just laughs, snickering into his hand before you turn your eyes onto him again, making grabby hands for him.

And who is he to say no to you? Not when you look so sweet, with the little prescription sunglasses to protect your eyes on, and a sun hat tied under your chin. Both had been swiftly added to your wardrobe the moment everyone had left the building, pulled from Marlene’s purse while you squirmed. “Oh, bebeita, so precious, I will get you whatever you want,” Fernando coos, letting you down, but holding you by your hand so you can’t run off. Walking slowly beside you as you look around, eyes wide and amazed by the new city.

Final Day of Spring Testing, 2024. Sakhir, Bahrain

You’re leaning against the pit wall. Watching as all the final promotional pictures are taken of the drivers. All of them, standing in front of the cars, wearing serious expressions as they look into the cameras. 

Testing had finished an hour ago. You were required to be there for a few promotional pictures, and an article that the New York Times wanted to publish about you— the first woman to become a race engineer, and now to move up to a high-tier team like McLaren. You found that a bit insulting to Williams, that no one had really looked into it when you’d first been promoted, but after everything that had happened there, you were a bit disgusted by the team. 

Logan seems to shrink under the gaze of his team principal. You prickle, a protective instinct pushing into the back of your mind as you sink a bit lower. Oscar will handle it. That’s his courting partner after all, if anyone would fight to defend Logan, it would be Oscar. He’d raced against him since childhood. James turns, just enough to catch your gaze from where you’re leaning. He freezes, as if seeing some phantom, before turning on his heel and stalking into the Williams garage with an utterly furious look on his face.

Quietly, you head back into the garage. Your cheek twitches, aching. It almost seems like your skin, especially your scars, was prickling with all the tension in the air. Will had been quietly dismissed after handing in a written apology that was passed onto you by Andrea. 

Before you do anything else, you breathe in. Letting yourself smell the air around you. Burnt rubber and fuel. There’s clanking around you as mechanics work on a few separate parts. There’s the sound of typing as you sit, going over data on the monitors. Flipping through a notebook and scrawling down a few, final notes. 

Eggroll sits loyally at your feet, with her back to you, watching every single person who approaches. She’d been trained to react to his scent. To bay loudly and bark and to create such a racket that it would draw everyone’s attention to her and to see what was causing it. 

But for now, she’s silent. Letting you work. Eyes trained on the track. 

Chills run up the back of Lando’s neck and he shivers. He looks over to the pit wall, where you had previously been leaning and watching him, expecting to see you still there. He’s not quite sure why he feels disappointed that you’re not watching him anymore.

1 Week to 2024 Season Opening. Norris Residence, Monaco.

Lando’s not quite sure what to make of you. You’ve officially been his engineer for a month now. You were… polite enough. Maybe a bit cold. But polite enough. No-nonsense, and clearly, it was helping him, as much as he hated to admit it. 

He says as much to Max, who cackles on the other side of the call. He can’t stop laughing, enough that he can almost imagine he’s still living in England, and they’re karting again. Having a sleepover, still pups, and arguing over FIFA matches. 

“Piss off, man,” Lando sinks lower into his chair, arms folded over his chest. They’re just waiting for the lobby to fill so they can start another round. “You’re acting like she’s some miracle.”

“Mate, because she is,” Max says. Lando can hear the aggressive typing on his side. “Here, let me stream this quick, get out of the game. We can play more later.”

Max googled your name as Lando slumped into his chair. Recent articles all pop up, including the one you’d been getting photographed for on the last day of testing. Part of Lando also wants to google what exactly your relationship with Oscar was, but when he does, he only gets a picture of you walking beside Logan from last season, with Oscar trailing behind, not even fully in focus in the background. 

A Wiki link gets dropped in their personal chat. And then a large PDF file a few seconds later.

“She has her own wiki page!”

“That’s not that cool,” Lando sulks, but he clicks on the link regardless. The current image of you is one taken from the press briefing when you’d first been introduced, with your braided hair and black turtleneck. You’re making a little scowl, and looking slightly to the side, as though you’re annoyed at something. Lando feels a bit smug when he sees his name linked under Driver’s Worked With. “I have a wiki page. I’m probably mentioned, like, a dozen times in hers!.”

“Yeah, but, you’re famous. You’re a driver, and a damn popular one at that. Race engineers don’t normally get that much attention.” Max chides. 

That’s… a good point. Your page is… shockingly long, for someone a year younger than him. A quick scroll through makes Lando realize that there is still quite a bit he has yet to figure out about you. 

“Why the fuck is it so long?” Lando mutters as he scrolls through the Early Life section, which inadvertently jump-scares him with a picture of toddler you, covered in shiny, pink burn scars and staring at the camera with wide, confused eyes. You’re in a little sun hat, and you’re holding onto Niki’s hand, while walking in the street. Your sire is glaring at the camera. A few other F1 drivers arc around you, notably, with Micheal Schumacher almost in front of you, as if to prevent you from being seen. 

Stupidly, he briefly thinks about how weird genetics were to pass down Niki’s scars to you, before he smacks his forehead and realizes how impossible it is to inherit burn scars from your sire. 

Oscar had mentioned you’d survived a house fire. But based on how you looked now…. Lando’d just assumed that you’d gotten lucky and not gotten badly burned. He’s more confused by the whole situation now and actually starts to read the article. 

Lauda was born in North Carolina, to her mother, Magnolia Davis. Though Niki Lauda has refused to comment on any questions to how she was conceived or when, it is suspected that the former champion had a short-term affair in early 2001, based on her October birthday. 

Not much is known about the first four years of her life, other than the fact that Davis had primary custody, and the two lived in Banner Elk until her Dam’s passing in March of 2005, due to a housefire that also left Lauda with chronic medical conditions. Official reports on the fire have blamed outdated electrical work for causing the fire, due to the age of the cabin that the two lived in. Niki Lauda took custody soon after, relocating the four-year-old Lauda to Austria. 

That was surprising. 

“She’s got medical conditions?” Lando tilts his head. Looking back at the picture of a toddler you. The wide, confused eyes, and the way the skin along the right side of your jaw seems… sticky, with an odd shine to it. 

“You’re joking,” Max deadpans. 

“No— she—” Lando stutters, oddly defensive. You’d never seemed to have issues, you looked, and acted (for the most part) normally! “—She never mentioned any!”

“Mate.” Max sounds almost disappointed. “She’s deaf in one ear. Legally blind, too, I’m pretty sure. 

“Don’t give me the mom tone! And again, she didn’t mention any!”

“You do know she’s like,” Max pauses, and Lando just knows he’s scrolling through your wiki page even more, trying to find other things to hold over his head. “... a prominent disability rights advocate, right? Another medical condition, that bum leg of hers—”

“You didn’t know that before reading this.”

“I did not,” Max concedes, failing miserably at hiding his smug snickering. “But you should have!”

“Fuck off, I went on a phone cleanse for a month before coming back to work,” Lando mutters, sinking further into his chair, sulking like a child, and scrolling down further. Section titles like Education & Research, Disability Rights Work, and Personal Life all beckoned to him to read more. 

“So…”  Max trails off. “Wanna be nosy together?”

“Oh, absolutely.” 

Lando spends the next three hours with Max, stalking all your social media posts, your admittedly impressive library of published articles of your research on how the aerodynamics and design of F1 cars could be used to create more fuel-efficient everyday cars, trains, and boats that could eventually help phase out the usage of fossil-fuels in cars altogether.

Your early life section is still bleak even after the two initial paragraphs. 

It is unknown why the Davis pack did not take custody of Lauda after her Dam’s untimely passing. Leaked documents from the now-defunct Banner Elk hospital have revealed that the pack signed away their next-of-kin and pack rights, along with requesting a no-contact order to be upheld until Lauda reached legal age, or in the case that the then-pup died due to her injuries. 

According to reports that were granted by a FOIA request, investigators at the scene of the fire were there to retrieve the bodies of Lauda and her Dam, when she was discovered under a metal bedframe near the remains of Davis a few feet away. Davis was buried in her pack’s grave plot in the Old Elk Valley Baptist Church Cemetery. It is unknown if Lauda has attempted contact with her Dam’s pack.

The public became aware of her existence when tabloids were given access to photos of Lauda spending time with her Sire’s pack during her stay in the hospital. The article published was titled “Die Ratte und das Mäuschen!” which resulted in her gaining the nickname “Das Maus” which has stuck with her since. 

By all accounts, Lauda claims to have had an otherwise normal and happy childhood with her sire’s pack, and made her first official public appearance in August 2005, leaving the FIA Headquarters in Paris, with her Sire, Niki Lauda, and other members of the Formula 1 Pack after Fernando Alonso was appointed Prime Omega. She has said she was close with 7-time World Champion, Micheal Schumacher and was regularly seen spending time with his pups when in the paddock to accompany her Sire. 

Not much else is known about Lauda’s early life, with the pack being very private. 

Well, shit. No wonder you were a bit cold. You probably barely remembered your Dam, even without considering the traumatizing end she’d met. There aren’t any pictures provided of your Dam— Magnolia— and only a handful of pictures of you as a pup. None before the fire. He tries to imagine it. There’s only one of you with your little ears and tail out— one of your eas is more of a little patch of fur. You’re grinning up at a much younger Nico Rosberg, who has you tucked under his arm like some ball. There’s a blur where your tail would be, peeking out behind you, showing that you must have been overjoyed to be there with the German. Your grin is infectious as you look up at him. Little fangs jutting out over your bottom lip. 

It’s actually quite adorable. With how fluffy your hair is and the little snaggle tooth hanging on your lower lip. He can almost hear the happy squealing noises from the picture. 

Did you make those noises when you were with your Dam? Or were they reserved for when you lived in Austria, joining him at every possible race, bounding behind in your canine form, as a tiny puppy? Yapping and screeching behind him, while probably being followed by various Formula 1 legends intending to keep you behaving. 

Which was. An amusing idea, to say the least. Picturing a younger Fernando Alonso, or Alain Prost running after you. Perhaps even a rookie Lewis, holding you by the scruff and padding towards the Ferrari garage in his canine form. The massive black wolf holding a tiny puppy. 

You had been affiliated with Mercedes for while— that’s where you’d gained the majority of your experience— serving as a race engineer to the lower divisions. Also giving some of the most out-of-pocket comments to the younger drivers to encourage them forwards out of spite. 

He’s so busy working on learning more about you— apparently, your favorite color is red, you’ve had three service dogs before Eggroll, and you have an irresistible love of mochi— that he doesn’t notice two different things he’s done. 

One. Nowhere in the article does it mention your designation, which was still a very big mystery to him. Maybe his instincts had started to really calm down now, but Lando’s pretty sure you’re an Alpha. Maybe it’s projection. Maybe’s it the basics of genetics he remembers from his middle-school biology classes he took online. If your mother was a beta, there was a large chance you could be an Alpha. The chances for you being a beta were low, a 25% chance. He didn’t know all of the exact science behind it, but he knew it wasn’t looking good. 

And two. 

Lando and Max had, in their online stalking frenzy, found your various social media pages. And more importantly, Lando had stumbled across your LinkedIn page. While many didn’t know he had a LinkedIn, he did. It was a more private one, one his Sire encouraged him to make. But he still had one regardless and he occasionally would recall he had it and would update it, as he actually had just a few days ago, when his brother had been teasing him about it. He vaguely knew that people could see when he was on their page, but he didn’t really know much else. 

He also didn’t know that he was still logged in. 

At 12:27am, an hour behind Monaco, you get a notification on your phone while Oscar and Logan bicker about what late-night food is best to order at the moment.

Lando Norris and others have recently viewed your profile. 

tags: @charlesgirl16@boo8008@the-holy-trinity-l@laura-naruto-fan1998@amalialeclerc@vellicora@st0rmzi3@poppyflower-22@hiireadstuff@seonghwaexile@mrsmelinda@actuallyazriel@noam-rosier-icr

[genderqueerdykes]

Trust me, I'm glad to have a public pride center in my area, but they make me irritated sometimes. They have a group for "crossdressers, trans women, and other gender non-conforming individuals," and require feminine dress to attend the group, but they don't have a counterpart group that accompanies butches, transmascs, trans men, etc. To me it's the whole "conflating queerness with femininity thing," and even my transfem partner isn't happy with the notion that all transfems are Skirt Go Spinny types. Transfem butches, hello??

Also, feminine according to whom? Where does the line in the sand get drawn? Because different cultures have different ways of defining what's feminine in the first place. What if they're feminine but don't have the attire yet due to being low income or in an unsafe environment? What if they don't want to wear feminine attire, especially since the group demands it? I dunno, I just get a bad taste in my mouth about all that

GNC folks and those who crossdress can do so in a masculine way too. Have they met a drag king before, like at all? They have a men's group and a women's group, but only a femme group and not a masc one, so they know not all femmes are women - yet they won't make a group for masc folks. The whole situation rubs me the wrong way tbh, but I feel like I can't tell the pride center about it because then I'd be the asshole or possibly called worse. How dare non-femme people find community with one another, amirite?

i'm glad you've chosen to reach out about this, because it's a huge problem and you are by no means alone in this. i have experienced this as well, though fortunately, i have a local trans resource center that has transmasculine support groups, so now im fortunate, but in the past i was not so lucky

people just don't care about transfeminine butches and it's upsetting. i don't like how people want to act like they love trans women right now but then treat huge swathes of trans women like shit. butch trans lesbians. trans women who don't like performing hyper femininity. trans women who find themselves somewhere "in the middle" or don't care about the masc-fem binary. trans women who can't or don't wanna transition. nonbinary trans women. genderqueer trans women. genderfluid trans women. multigender trans women. it fucking sucks

lesbian separatism, politicial lesbianism, and (trans) rad feminism have taken root in our communities for decades and are not letting go any time soon. we have to push back against this in ways that we can because it's not helping anyone at all. it really sucks that you have to be super feminine to be accepted. that you have to be queeny, that you have to be okay with being called girl, that you have to be okay with being forced to present less masc in order to not "threaten" anyone, that you have to feminize yourself to be accepted... this isn't right.

[aceofwhump]

hope youre doing well!

just wanted to let you know that i started binging ted lasso the other day after going through your blog for recs on something to watch (as i do, often) and i ADORE it, so thank you!!

i just watched the episode where jamie’s dad is abusive to him in front of the entire team and i have to say that it’s some of the best emotional whump ive seen in a WHILE omg. rewatched that scene so many times,,,,

while im here ill ask if you happen to have any fav jamie fic recs? no pressure though if you cant think of any specific ones, ill likely go through the entire tag on ao3 lol

Hi! I am doing all right thanks! Hope you're well too!

Omg yay!! Ted Lasso is so good!!! I'm so glad you're watching it! Ugh that episode is one of my favorites! The emotions just kill me. I love Jamie Tartt so much. I too watched that scene on a loop. So good.

Oooooh yes I have recs for you my friend! Many! Go forth and enjoy!

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

Emergency Contact by relevanceisoverrated Summary: When Jamie ends up in the hospital after an accident, the hospital has to call his emergency contact, Ted.

The calm before the literal and figurative storm by Multifandom_damnation Summary: They lose to Man City, but they might lose a lot more than a game that day

Barn Raising by altschmerzes  Summary: After the locker room disaster in Manchester, Roy drives Jamie home. The chaos they find when they arrive at the house swiftly proves it is not a safe place to spend the night, forcing a change of plans and a reroute to Roy’s own home. The following day Jamie experiences, in this order: The most bewildering breakfast of his life, a penalty kick clinic with a seven-year-old, and an overwhelming display from his teammates that brings him face to face with the fact that not only has he been accepted back in Richmond it’s also possible he might be, in a way he can’t remotely process or understand, loved here.

Scaffolding by altschmerzes Summary: Jamie collapses at training the day before an away game far from home, running a fever, and somehow this ends up being Roy's problem. And Ted's, when he persuades Roy to take it in shifts. It's both of their problem, though it's a problem for them in different ways. Ted struggles to keep the feeling of being helpless from sending him too deep into his own head to stay where he's needed. His experience as a parent both helps and doesn't. As for Roy, hating Jamie was a lot simpler than caring about him is. Taking care of him? Roy doesn't have a clue where he got the idea he was competent enough to do that. Especially when it feels like all he does is mess it up.

The Same Story by altschmerzes Summary: “So,” Trent starts, keeping his voice mild and professional. “We have all, by now, seen the footage from the unfortunate run-in you had with your father, the night of the twenty-fifth of April in the car park at Coventry City FC’s pitch.” It would've been traumatic enough for Jamie's father to ruin Richmond's most recent victory in front of the whole team, but when the confrontation turns violent in front of a gaggle of reporters, the ensuing social media firestorm is even worse. Over the next two and a half weeks, Jamie will have to navigate the charges against his father, walk a gauntlet of publicity that he never asked for, and prepare to give the interview of a lifetime. Luckily, Richmond has always been there to catch him on the other side.

Better Angels by altschmerzes Summary: The second time that Jamie shows up, smirking and announcing that he can't participate in training because he's hurt is so much worse than the first time. He's changed a lot, grown up a lot, and no one knows why he's acting like this again when he's put so much time and effort into not being that person anymore. It feels like history is repeating itself, except… something isn't adding up. Sam is the one who puts it together, who sees the proof that Jamie very much is hurt, and has led everyone to believe that he isn't by telling them that he is in a way that sounded like an obvious lie. It makes his head spin, and he doesn't know what to do. Thankfully, his team captain and his coaches are there to figure it out. (Hypothetical season 3 timeline. Completely gen. Jamie is hurt in an accident. He doesn't handle it well.)

Something to be said by macaronicism Summary: First day back in training after what happened at Wembley is awkward, but everyone tries their best.

for speaking through walls by LadyCharity  Summary: When an incident in the match against West Ham leads to a threat to Jamie's well-being, Ted comes face-to-face with what he dreads the most. In which Jamie haunts Ted just as much as the dead.

don't let it in with no intention to keep it by jamietxrtt Summary: "Glass shatters to Jamie’s left, missing the front door by centimeters. He ignores it and ducks out into the cloudy London night, the cold night air raising the hairs on his bare arms. No time to hesitate and grab a jacket now, though, not with the suffocating smell of beer smoking him out of his own house."

it's such a long road when you go it alone by themightyduck Summary: Jamie goes down hard during the last match of the season and struggles to determine his worth outside football. Ted would like to stop seeing his boys get hurt on the field. Roy seeks to become emotionally well-adjusted and possibly even Jamie's close friend.

On Pure Instinct by Dandelion_Orange_Pips Summary:

Jamie was standing rigidly and staring at Ted’s hand in abject horror, unblinking. Then rose his gaze to meet Ted’s, tears now uncontrolled. The world seemed to come to a stop and Ted couldn't breathe. One wrong move.

Ted raised his hands, placating.

Then Jamie’s eyes snapped rapidly to his hand and back, becoming even wider. Ted froze.

“Jamie-”

Jamie ran.

Or: Ted tries his best to keep Jamie together after a tough game. He fails, but maybe it's for the best.

The Invalidated Silent Screams Of The Tormented by Cuppa_Char Summary: When a blast from the past unsettles Jamie it leads to a very public meltdown.

Somehow Everything Will Be Okay by Lilac_Lemonade Summary: What happened once the match against Richmond was over and Jamie's dad pulled him aside? Ted walked away after seeing him with his dad in the treatment room and Jamie thought that was it, just one more person on the list of people that had abandoned him. But what if Ted came back? What if Ted was the one to give Jamie the letter after Richmond's match against Man City?

mind games by sweetsorrowss Summary: jamie tartt is tired of being toyed with. he's tired of being manipulated. he's tired of people pretending that they care. when his father pays him a surprise and unwelcome visit, jamie finds solace in the one person he's convinced himself is pretending the most. but ted lasso isn't pretending, and maybe jamie deserves a place to call home after all.

Thick and Thin and Every Line by LivingProof Summary: In the aftermath of the match against Manchester City, Ted, Roy, and Jamie struggle with demons shared and separate. Then Beard’s here, then his dad is gone, just the gunshot crack of the door to herald their departure. He’d wince at the sound, but his muscles have turned to lead. And Jamie’s here, the only person in this room, the spotlight on him casting everyone else in shadow. He knows they’re out there somewhere, audience to a Greek fucking tragedy, and maybe when this is over they’ll realize they should be applauding.

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation by jumpfall Summary: What Ted remembers later is Beard saying, "Jamie's not putting any weight on it."

To Being Better by vxctorsfvlix Summary: Jamie-centric rewrite of the Ola's Restaurant scene in 3.03, featuring more hurt and also more comfort. Jamie's been struggling with the arrival of Zava, and how it's affecting his relationships with the team. Things come to a head on the opening night of Sam's restaurant.

for what you have tamed by LadyCharity Summary: "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." In which Ted and Jamie are tamed by their fathers, their traumas, and each other.

according to the calculations by telm_393 Summary: After everything, Jamie’s not alone.

an excess of warmth or coldness by bartonbones Summary: When Jamie is seriously injured during a match, Roy and Ted are reminded how much they care about him--as a son, or as a younger brother, or as an exposed nerve. Jamie is reminded what it's like to have people care when his face gets knocked in.

Wings Wouldn't Help You Down by ViolentlyRed Summary: He thought the most awkward thing he'd have to endure was a rigid Roy Kent embrace in the Man City locker room months ago. He was wrong. And he’s getting better at admitting when he’s wrong, so. Turning up on Coach's doorstep at two thirty in the morning was infinitely, infinitely more awkward. Or, Jamie's hurt and not about to say much about it, and Ted's a good coach.

Haunted by WinterAndMissHyde Summary: Isaac and Colin lock Jamie in a storage room at Nelson Road as part of a "harmless" joke. This brings Jamie a lot of bad memories back he'd rather forget and leads him to a panic attack. He also dislocates his shoulder trying to get out. Ted, Sam and Dani are there to comfort him in the aftermath. Set after Jamie comes back to Richmond on season 2.

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

[s0m3b0dy2u]

"but roman..."

"why didnt you script youre immune to hate" / "why did you literally script haters into your dr???"

three words: because it's funny.

I scripted that hate doesn't bother me, and that i think it's funny. also, im very petty and i cant do dumb shit just to spite the haters if there are no haters. i did script that my friends dont get any/get very little hate. for example, people only think good things about theo because he literally posts the most gorgeous photographs, shes amazing at their job, and hes just the kindest person to literally everyone they meet. nico has haters in the way any loud and obnoxious youtuber will but theyre very few and far between and he also finds them funny, but in a slightly different way then i do. felix's legitimate work is amazing, and theres so little room for criticism to begin with, and most of his shitty takes are on tumblr, so hes safe. venus gets the same kind of hate anyone that makes the kind of music she does will, also largely angry christians like i have in my hatebase. she, of course, is the best at handling hate out of any of us. shes absolutely brutal. shes also the first to clap back if any of her friends get any hate to begin with. of course, she has the largest fanbase out of all of us so... yk how that goes, im sure. she also like... thrives off of drama.

also, i've litterally written whole critical articles about myself, if anyone wants to read them

Blasphemy Disguised as Art: The Dangerous Message of Empire’s 666

Style Over Substance? The Fall of Rome’s Theatrics

etc.

the first one is my favorite (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

lets talk about 666

the only reason the ep (or even me in general) blew up as hard as it did is because of christian supremacists.

!! i dont hate christians or christianity, and i do not intend to mock the religion itself !! 666 is about my own personal struggles with religion !! also, the christians im talking about here are the kind that hardly live like christians--the ones that dont live and lead with kindness, but instead anger, and the kind that would condemn you to hell if they saw you walking down the street holding hands with someone of the same sex because "its a sin." the bible says we, as humans, are in no right to judge one another, etc. etc. etc. the reason i didnt script people like this out in this dr is because theyve greatly helped shape the person i am today--for better or for worse. (i feel the need to mention, now, i did script out homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of discrimination) !!

these people, maybe they saw the album cover, read the lyrics, or even just read the album and song titles, whatever it was they got so pissed. most of them havent seen anything else about me, and just jumped to the "hes encouraging devil worship" "he thinks hes better than God" etc etc etc. this lead more and more people to seeing my stuff and so... yeah

also the people that are like "EMPIREs too theatric" "romes too dramatic" like... no shit?? thats my whole thing?? idk what to tell you. my fans eat it tf uppppp too.

the people that are like "mmm maybe try making happy music now?? :/" piss me off tho like no???? my whole thing is doom and gloom. i am death incarnate, im fuckin--IM A VAMPIRE OK IM SUPPOSED TO BE VAMPIRIC ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა /silly

also theres nothing funnier than tiktok comments like "you need jesus" and "go read the bible" pllssss what????? (╥﹏╥) lmaoooo

and like keep hating, all youre doing is making me more famous??? idk like....

i also love ironic haters

like yes, lets pretend we hate each others guts while were sitting in a cozy lil cafe tg

lets say we hate each others music and then drop a collab not even a week later

૮꒰˶> ᴗ <˶꒱ა

uhhhh rant over

if youre still here, how was your day/morning? remember to take care of yourselves, drink some water, eat something--even if it's just a little bit--and take a break if you need to. i love you all <3 have a nice day/night

[marauder-misprint]

if you’re up for more angst, what about remus seriously injuring the reader while in a werewolf form! (sorry but im a sucker for angst 😝 especially remus, since the tragedy of his character is often played off [esp. his ‘werewolfness’] and i love the way you write him, hard to find good potrayed moony fics 😭)

Angst! Angst! Angst! Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy this Moony Angst

The attack

Remus Lupin x reader

4.3k words

cw: angst, werewolf attack, angst, no happy ending

If you weren’t so close with the Marauders, you probably would’ve never noticed. Those nights where the four of them stayed in the common room until late and they were the only ones still up, as even you had to go to bed. Or the nights where they all seemed to turn in extra early yet were exhausted in the morning. Those mornings when they looked far worse for wear and failed to give a reasonable explanation. 

You knew they went somewhere. You had an epiphany late one night on something for a prank and instead of just writing it down, you jumped out of bed and ran to the boys’ dormitory. It was at least 1 a.m. and all of their beds were empty. It didn’t look like they had been slept in. The room was just deserted. 

If you weren’t so close with the Marauders, you probably wouldn’t have cared. But you were so you did. You asked them about it. They avoided each question more carefully than the last. As determined as you were to get answers, they seemed more so to hide whatever they were doing. 

Eventually, you dropped the topic, but your curiosity never waned. You started to randomly check their dorm. Creepy and weird? Yes and you knew it. But they were hiding something and you would be damned if you didn’t figure it out. 

You didn’t have information yet to see if there was a pattern. You just got lucky one night. You were sitting in the common room alone, tucked into a corner with a book and a cozy blanket. You honestly had half a mind to just sleep where you sat. But then there was movement on the other side of the room. 

Remus was leaving the common room and it was well after curfew. It was also past report time for any prefect duties. Where was he going and why? You pondered it for a moment and then heard the shuffling of feet. There was no one there. You thought you were going crazy. The sound was definitely where.

“Shit,” a voice hissed and you saw a flash of shoes nearing the portrait hole. 

You’d recognize those combat boots anywhere: Sirius. You suddenly remember hearing James say offhandedly that he has a cloak of invisibility. You had thought he was joking but maybe not? With the opening and closing of the portrait, you sprang up, ditched your book and blanket and grabbed your cloak which was draped over a chair near you. You had to follow them… somehow. 

Outside of the common room, you stand silently, trying to hear footsteps over the Fat Lady’s chastising. The faintest of sounds came from a nearby staircase and you followed it. You trailed the sound while trying to stay far enough away to not be caught. It was a difficult task being that you couldn’t see exactly where they were. Then you heard voices around the corner. 

Remus and Madam Pomfrey. 

Hushed voices but still recognizable. Even better for you, they didn’t have a cloak so you could see where they were going. You watched them head for a door so you moved to look out the closest window. They approached the Whomping Willow and Pomfrey cast a freezing spell on it. Curious. You turned away from the window for a second to gather your thoughts. Why on earth would they be interacting with the Whomping Willow at night? When you looked back, Remus was gone and Pomfrey was heading back to the castle. You stayed hidden until she was back inside and passed you. 

You’ve mostly forgotten about the other boys and the fact that they might still be in the vicinity. There weren’t any footsteps to remind you of their presence. It took you a second to work up the courage to go outside. You froze the tree like Pomfrey had done. You took slow steps forward, not knowing what to expect. Then you spotted the hole in the ground at the base of the tree. Curious. You inspected it briefly before sliding down into it. 

Darkness surrounded you. You were tempted to cast Lumos so you could see where you landed, but then you remembered that you’re following Remus and you want to stay hidden. There were echoes of something down the passage, but you took it slowly. You felt the wall as you walked and tried not to make any noise yourself. When you reached the end of the passage, you found yourself in a broken, beaten house. Horrid noises came from the upper floor. And then you saw it. A large wolf. Even worse, it saw you. 

It didn’t waste any time jumping down on top of you. You screamed. It’s all you could do. First in fear, then in pain. Claws raked down your body. Sharp, white hot pain engulfed your entire being. 

The last things you saw before passing out were a large black dog and a stag bearing down on the wolf, forcing it to back away from you. 

---

You woke up in the infirmary. At least that’s what you figured based off of the smell and the brightness around you. You couldn’t move because your whole body felt numb. 

“Poppy! She’s awake!” Professor McGonagall called from the side of your bed. 

You heard footsteps rushing toward you.

“You are not to move, Miss. Frankly, I’m surprised you’re alive,” Madam Pomfrey’s stern voice said. “I’ve applied a numbing potion so you shouldn’t be able to feel most of your body for a while. Blink once if you understand.” You blinked. “Blink again if you’re in pain.” You didn’t blink. 

You had never felt more confused and scared in your life. Somehow, being there and unable to move was more frightening than the wolf attacking you. Merlin, why was there a bloodthirsty wolf so close to the grounds? What was it doing in a house with a dog and a deer? You had so many questions.

“Minerva,” Pomfrey said curtly before the sound of footsteps told you she left. 

Your firm teacher spoke with uncertainty, the first time you’ve ever heard her do so. “You were attacked… by a werewolf. I’m not going to ask why you were out of bed and where you were. I’m not going to take away points or assign detention, although, believe me, I’d be well within my right to do so. The… the damage from the attack is quite extensive. Like Poppy said, it’s a miracle you survived. And that you weren’t bitten.” She took a shaky breath. “Werewolf scratches scar deeply. And it is a lot.”

You had one thing going on in your mind now: What the fuck?

---

The next few days passed by in a blur. You were in and out of consciousness with varying ability to talk, see and move. Madam Pomfrey was reapplying numbing potions and giving you potions to lessen the pain. You cried when you were finally able to see the damage. You had deep scarring on your left arm, across your face and chest and down both your legs; there was minor scarring on your right arm. Your back seemed to be the only part of you untouched by the werewolf you encountered. 

Pomfrey told you that you had people asking to visit you, but you weren’t ready to face anyone yet. You weren’t ready for anyone to see you like this. 

“She’s not taking visitors. If she changes her mind, I’ll send someone to get you,” you could hear her tell someone at the doors to the infirmary. 

There were overlapping voices that protested. You couldn’t place the voices, nor could you see who it was due to the curtains that you kept drawn around your bed. 

“Go to class, the four of you. I promise, when she’s ready, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

The door closed with slam and Pomfrey muttered to herself as she returned to her office. The only people you had seen were her, McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore asked you what you remembered of the attack. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to admit that you followed Remus from the castle and into the tunnel. You didn’t want to tell him about the stag and dog who saved you. So you told him nothing. As far as anyone was concerned, you remembered nothing of your attack or how you ended up outside the castle. 

A few days later, you told Madam Pomfrey that you would take visitors if they came. Then you asked how long you’d have to stay in the infirmary and she told you until the next full moon, just to guarantee that you were safe. You sighed and nodded. All you could think about was the assignments you were falling behind on. 

As soon as lessons were over, James, Peter and Sirius were pounding on the infirmary door. Pomfrey let them in but stopped them right away.

“I assume you boys heard what happened?” she asked in a hushed voice, but you heard her anyway.

You didn’t hear an answer from the boys.

“Then, well, you know what to expect,” she continued.

It felt like a punch to the gut. She was telling them to brace themselves for what you looked like now. It also meant that they knew you were attacked by a werewolf and it likely wasn’t a secret throughout the castle. You tried to stop the tears that pricked at your eyes. 

It certainly didn’t help that they gasped when they pulled back the curtains. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at your friends. You were hugging your knees to your chest. You know you told Pomfrey you were ready to see people, but having your closest friends see you like this? Nothing could prepare you for it. They stepped into the curtained area, standing at your bedside.

“How are you feeling?” James asked, his voice soft. 

“Like I’m falling behind in my assignments,” you replied snarkily. 

Sirius laughed and clapped you on the shoulder. “So delusional as always!”

He’s the first one you were able to look at. You needed him to see you roll your eyes at how ridiculous he was. But, really, you’re grateful for his comment and his laughter. It’s the first time you’ve been treated as normal in a week. 

“So when are you allowed to leave?” James asked. This time he sounded less like he was talking to a sick child. 

“Two weeks. Assuming the full moon goes well.”

The three boys exchanged concerned looks. The air was suddenly tense between you. Peter closed the curtain.

Then he asked, “What do you remember from the last one?”

They weren’t Dumbledore or McGonagall. These were your best friends. You could tell them the truth. 

“More than I told Dumbledore…” you muttered, looking away from them. You took a breath before quietly recounting the night. “It started with thinking I was following you three. I had already seen Remus leave the common room and I figured you three were under James’ cloak.”

“Oh, you know about that…” James said.

“You mentioned it once years ago. I thought you were kidding, but ah, clearly not. Anyways, I saw Pomfrey and Remus go outside and right up to the Whomping Willow. I investigated, found a passage and next thing I know, I’m being attacked by a werewolf.”

“And that’s it?” Peter asked cautiously. 

You sighed. “It’s going to sound so silly, but I swear I saw a dog and a deer protect me before I passed out. That was probably the pain…” 

You looked from boy to boy. Their visible concern was almost too much for you.

“Where is Remus?”

“He, uh, couldn’t come by right away. I’m sure he’ll come when he has time,” Sirius said. 

You frowned but nodded. Then you had an idea.

“Would you get my assignments from the professors and help me catch up? I really don’t want to be a month behind when I get out of here.”

“Yeah. Of course. Anything for you, love,” James said as he ran a hand through his hair. 

Then Pomfrey yanked the curtains open and chastised the boys for closing them in the first place. She made them leave and you were alone again. You hated being alone.

Over the next two weeks, you had more visitors. Mostly Gryffindors and the random other students who heard there had been a werewolf attack and wanted to see the result. James, Sirius and Peter took turns bringing you your assignments and helping you catch up. Each of their visits was prefaced with ‘The professors don’t want you to push yourself and said they will give you as much time as you need to catch up’ and you would always tell them that you were bored out of your mind waiting to be released. 

Being bored, however, wasn’t the worst of your issues. Neither was trying to stop flinching every time you saw your reflection. No, it was the fact that Remus had yet to visit you. You asked about him every time the rest of the Marauders stopped by; they always had an excuse ready and claimed he’d be by soon. But he never came. It broke your heart. 

You didn’t think it was any secret that you had a favorite out of the four of them. You adored Remus. He was an underestimated presence, commanding power and attention when he needed to. You could almost call him a shadow god: overlooked yet able wreck havoc. And beyond all of that was his love for books and knowledge. His love for his friends. His loyalty. His devotion to his passions. 

Your favorite person hadn’t been to see you in the four weeks you were in the infirmary. You were furious. You were devastated. You were done. 

The morning after the full moon, when you woke up, you heard him talking with Madam Pomfrey. You didn’t want to talk to him anymore. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted him to visit during the past two weeks and he doesn’t show up until you’re to be released? Pissed off didn’t begin to cover how you felt. 

You opened your curtains and asked firmly, “Madam Pomfrey, I’m feeling quite myself. Can I be discharged?” 

Then you saw him. Shirtless on a bed a few over from yours as Pomfrey applied long bandages to his chest and shoulder. The two of you locked eyes. Your eyes burned with fury while his welled with concern and guilt. You wanted to snap at him but clenched your jaw instead. 

“Oh, yes, dear. I was just waiting for you to wake up,” Pomfrey said. “If you’d like to wait a moment, I’m just finishing up with Mr. Lupin.”

“No, thank you, ma’am,” you said shortly before leaving both of them baffled at your refusal to wait. 

You had no desire to be in the vicinity of ‘Mr. Lupin’ at the moment. He wasn’t even there to visit you. He was there for himself. He had gone and gotten himself banged up on his own. 

---

You avoided Remus. You put as much distance between you and him as you can. If he was around and you couldn't get away, you gave him a cold shoulder. You remained on good terms with Peter, James and Sirius, but it was difficult to spend time with them without Remus also around. 

So you found solace in your female friends. You knew they were concerned about the space you were putting between yourself and the Marauders; it was just so out of character for you. They wondered if it was a result of your attack, if the boys had somehow been involved in it, although they never raised these concerns when you were around. They just made sure that you were never alone unless you asked to be. 

“What happened between you and the Marauders?” Dorcas asked during study hall some time after your attack. 

The Gryffindor girls gave her a wide-eyed stare before turning to look at you semi-nervously. Apparently, they had forgotten to fill in Marlene’s girlfriend on the taboo question. 

“Nothing,” you said nonchalantly, not even bothering to look up from your work.

“Bullshit. You haven’t talked to them in over a week and even I’ve noticed,” she said pointedly. 

“I’ll talk to Sirius, James, Peter. Not my fault they don’t separate from the damn traitor.” 

Lily snorted, in laughter or suprise, she wasn’t sure. “The traitor? Do you mean Remus?”

You glared at her. “Yes.”

“The one who’s been staring at you in practically every class since you were released?”

“He’s probably just surprised at how I look now. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s different,” you said coldly. 

“Maybe. Or he wants to talk to you,” Mary suggested. 

Now it was your turn to snort in disbelief with a shake of your head. 

“He does,” Lily confirmed. “He’s, you know, scared you won’t listen to him. Which I think is a valid conclusion being that you-”

“He better be scared,” you cut her off. “If he tries to speak to me, I’m hexing the bastard into next year. Pass that on, will you?”

At that, the girls dropped the topic. Dorcas got the message that you weren't to be asked about the Marauders any more. Lily passed on your message to an upset Remus during prefect duties. How was he supposed to fix things with you if you wouldn’t give him a moment of your time? 

“There’s no way she doesn’t know that I’m the one who did that to her. She told Lily that she’d hex me into next year if I try to talk to her. I’m fucked. I’m so utterly fucked… I’ve lost her,” Remus moaned one evening in the boys’ dorm. 

Remus hated how you wouldn’t look at him. He hated how you avoided him with so much determination that you barely had a friendship with the rest of the Marauders anymore. He knew he couldn’t blame you for avoiding him; he was a monster and had attacked you. He still wanted to apologize to you, to explain that he has no control over what he does when he’s in wolf form. It was the least he could do, but you wouldn’t let him. 

A small part of him wanted to blame you for being in the Shrieking Shack. That maybe he would place some of the blame on you. But he didn’t know what you were doing there. Maybe you had a perfectly valid reason for being there that he didn’t know about. Maybe there was more to the story, the one-sided story that he couldn’t get the other side to because you wouldn’t even look at him.

“Moony, mate, I don’t think she knows you’re the werewolf. She know we were out of the tower too,” Sirius said.

“Out of us, who looks the most like a possible werewolf?” Remus snapped. He knew he was right on that point. He was covered in scars and often sickly. 

“Okay, but she was asking for you every time we delivered homework. Why would she be asking for you if she didn’t want to talk to you?” James added. 

“Then what happened? Why is she avoiding me?”

“Because you didn’t visit her in the infirmary?” Peter offered lazily.

“I was there when she was discharged!” 

“Hmm, not the same. Wasn’t a visit and you know it,” Peter concluded.

“I’m fucked,” Remus repeated. 

Remus was growing desperate. He missed you. He missed having you around, your comments and warm presence. Even if you couldn’t stand him anymore, if you feared him, he didn’t want to be the reason you stopped being friends with James, Sirius and Peter. He needed to talk to you so he could apologize and tell you that if you wanted him to, he would distance himself from the boys so you could have your friends back. 

So he turned to the only person he thought could actually help him right now: Lily. He begged her to help him. He knew he looked and sounded pathetic, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He just needed a moment of your talk so you could talk. Or at least listen with sending him into the infirmary for a year, like you had threatened. She agreed to help, although she advised him to be cautious. 

Lily’s part was simple enough. She had to get you alone at a back table in the library, and then when Remus approached the table, she would tell you to just listen to him, hear him out, and then you would never have to speak to him again if you didn’t want to. 

When this transpired, you glared at the two of them. You were slightly upset with Lily’s backing of Remus. You knew that she had no reason to be upset with Remus and you never voiced why you were upset. But still, she knew you didn’t want to talk to him. 

“Please,” Remus said, voice pleading. “I just need a few minutes of your time. I’ll leave you alone forever after. Please.” 

“Fine,” you groaned.

Lily gave you a smile and hug before leaving to give you privacy. Remus took a seat across the table from you. You didn’t say anything more. You waited for him to say something. 

“I understand if you're scared of me. If you don’t want to be friends anymore. If you’re furious at me. I’m sorry,” he started to say. “But don’t take it out on Peter, James and Sirius. Stay friends with them. I’ll distance myself from them so you still have your friends. Please, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Why would I be scared of you?” you snapped. 

“Because… because you know my secret?” Was there a chance that Sirius was right?

You bunched your eyebrows together. “Your secret? That you leave the castle at night?”

“Oh. Um. Well, shit…” he muttered, looking down at his lap. Sirius was right. You didn’t know. He took a deep breath. “Then I have something to tell you.”

He waited for you to say something, but you held your tongue. All you could do was stare at him. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than usual. So, he hadn’t been sleeping well. 

“I’m… I’m a werewolf,” he said quietly, completely unable to look at you. “The werewolf.” 

You took a sharp breath. That… that explained a lot.

“That’s… that’s… That’s why you didn’t visit me?” you said after a few minutes of intense silence. 

Remus nodded. He finally raised his gaze to meet yours. He was shocked to see your expression as something soft, rather than something of anger or fear as he had expected. 

You remembered all of the lessons you had on werewolves in the past. How they had no control over what they did in wolf form. How excruciatingly painful the transformations were. The wolf was blood thirsty and brutal. Remus, however, wasn’t brutal. He wasn’t a beast. He was… your friend. 

“Fuck,” you breathed, squeezing your eyes shut. Then, with your voice barely audible, “I thought you didn’t like me anymore… I just wanted you to visit me…”

“I thought you knew. I thought you hated me, wouldn’t want to see me.”

“I was asking for you!” you exclaimed, your voice louder and more firm. “I wanted to see my best friend!”

“But I’m a monster. I… I ruined you…”

You crossed your arms over your chest in sudden anger. “I am not ruined, Lupin. Scarred, yes. But not ruined.” 

Remus’ hands were shaking uncontrollably in his lap. His heart was pounding. 

“That’s not what I meant!” he said quickly.

“It’s what you said.”

“Please, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I miss you so much. I didn’t intend to hurt you. You know I would never hurt you if I was in control.”

“Were you in control when you didn’t visit me in the infirmary?” 

He swallowed thickly. “I was.”

“And that hurt me, Lupin.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. If I could go back and change it, I would.” 

You clenched your jaw. You knew it was killing him. It was evident in his voice, in his face, in his posture. You made it blatantly clear that you didn’t blame him for the attack, for the permanent damage to how you looked. You did, however, blame him for not visiting you when you needed him. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I forgive you for being an ass? No. I can’t. Because I don’t forgive you.” 

“Can you give me a second chance? I’ll do anything. Anything. Anything to make it up to you.” He was begging at this point. 

“No. Not now. We aren’t friends, Lupin. Not because,” you let your voice drop to whisper, “you attacked me. I know that wasn’t you, per se.” Your voice returned to its previous volume as it dripped with hurt. “We aren’t friends because all of my friends visited me in the infirmary.”

“Please,” Remus said, his voice quiet with desperation. 

“No. I can’t forgive you. I can’t give you a second chance right off the bat. I have no reason to. Just… Just leave me alone.”

Remus nodded and stood up. He waited for a moment to see if you had anything more to say. When you didn’t say anything, he left. By the time he passed where Lily had moved to, tears were streaming down his face. You weren’t crying, but you did feel empty. Officially ending your friendship with Remus had taken more out of you than you expected.

[worth-this-and-more]

[TW: sh mentions, violence] [spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)]

so i've been rereading and trying to cover up all the legendborn content that happened while i pufff disappeared, and pardon me it is taking more time than i imagined, however i just wanted to start off with one pet peeve of mine

*rant incoming*

this might just be my unorganised thoughts or maybe just common sense, but sometimes you dont fully understand why a character did something; you have to sometimes to come back and read it again once you have that epiphany. it doesn't matter whatever tf they are doing, it sometimes just doesnt make that effect, especially on first read.

when i first read bree lashing out on greer and sar when they touched her hair, i didnt quite understand it. i thought its a cultural thing and moved on. now something about me, im a little fair, by indian standards. not completely clear skin and shit but im on the lighter side. so if im in my village, if im anywhere else wearing something with a bit of skin showing, i automatically get the comments "you're so fair" "what's your skincare" "so lucky" "you'd marry so soon" all that typa shit. and then come the unwanted touches, touching me on any exposed skin. and by any i genuinely mean any exposed skin. that's when i kind of realised why bree was so irritated when they tocuhed her hair, because people sometimes see our nicer features as free estate. and its annoying. and that is when her reaction fully made sense.

when i first read selwyn mesmered bree, i was so angry. i did not want bree to forgive him without him grovelling, ofc, but i also could not understand why he did that. what was his motive?? and why hide it from bree only?? nobody else?? now i've been in my low times since like years, not a big deal. got a lot of scars, some too visible, some not. i dont bother hiding it if im out in public where there's nobody who knows me or nobody who would care enough to ask. but if im with my friends, close people, i hide them all. and its just like valec said, its not to hide something its because of the fear of judgement. and that's when it kind of made sense why selwyn would hide his descent specifically from bree. she has bad experiences with mesmer, no doubt, but even worse with demons. it was a bad call through and through but one that is not unfamiliar. i dont hide my scars for my safety, i hide them because im ashamed.

and when nick killed max and then promptly disappeared into the woods, that was also somehow so out of character in my eyes from him. during grief and in the moments of crushing hopelessness, doesn't everyone want someone?? isnt the obvious reaction supposed to be him coming to bree, and not running away from her?? but that's not what happens yk. i once had a classmate who was not generally the type of person you'd want to be around. he was the type of person who has "trouble" spelt on him in flashing neon red. but after all, we were young, wanted to keep the peace, so i kept the decent communication. he would constantly invade my personal space, unwanted touches, unsolicited comments, it gets annoying. the last straw was when he tried to touch my best friend's schoolbag. i, in a moment of pure rage, threw him against the wall and actually started choking him. when the class managed to get me off of him, he was unconscious. in that moment my bestfriend came to put a hand on my shoulder, i visibly flinched and ran away from there and stayed in the washroom until school was over. this isnt as bad as beheading someone, but the response is familiar. of course he is going to go away rather than come closer; people whose love language is physical touch often have their hate language as isolation. i didnt hurt him purely because he tried to take my bestie's bag, i hurt him because i wanted to. nick didnt kill max purely because he killed his father, he killed him because he wanted to.

there's more of the events where we just kind of make this internal bias that we know what the character is going through and that we would definitely make better decisions, but can you?? do you really think you can or you're just overestimating yourself or underestimating the actual thing going on with the character??

i have made this mistake too, i know. i have taken some time to reflect back though and now i can say that yes i have made harsh judgements too. i am changing that tho because i've got a lottt of time to sit down and think and yeah i guess we all need it time to time.

what im trying to say is, things are not black and white. its a spectrum, there's dark grey light grey. it's a lot. and until and unless you are capable of putting yourself in that type of situation or closer, it's better to not make concrete opinions. shit happens and people do things, real life people are just that, people.

anyways this was a long rant i probably lost my point halfway through but okay whateva

[abbyssweetheartt]

-ˋˏGf!Jinx headcanonsˎˊ

Warnings: just fluff and craziness ig

a/n: this is my first time writing jinx so idk if it'll be good or not💔 and sorry abt the big hcs, i just like writing ig

⊰⁠⊹ when Jinx had hallucinations, she'd always look for your comfort. but sometimes when you tried to comfort her without Jinx asking for your comfort first she'd just brush you off and tell you she's ok in a rude way, buut if you talk to her about it after she'll sometimes say sorry.

⊰⁠⊹ after Silco's death, her and Sevika are like daughter and mother, except Sevika hates it, but Jinx doesn't care what Sevika thinks.

⊰⁠⊹ if you're feeling bad about something, she's definitely going to get worried. she's not the best at comforting people, but she tries. and if it's someone who left you like that she'll blow up them and say "No need to worry about them anymore" with a smile in her face.

⊰⁠⊹ loves playing with your hair. no discussion.

⊰⁠⊹ when yall met Isha, she was always taking care of the little girl and smiling most of the time

⊰⁠⊹ of course Jinx would always have you around too. she just doesn't attach you to her hip because she can't

⊰⁠⊹ she took a looooooooooong time to tell Silco yall were dating. not because she didn't want to. because she forgot. and to vi was even worse. Jinx didn't actually told Vi, she just assumed because jinx always had you close, even when you guys were kids.

⊰⁠⊹ you could tell jinx didn't know much about romantic relationships once she asked you to be her girlfriend. it was really sudden. yall were just drawing on Silco's office and she looks up at you and asks(and of course you said yes).

⊰⁠⊹ when she's tired we all know she's clingy. she can be even closer to you and you don't even know how.

⊰⁠⊹ sometimes she forgets to eat and when you get home you scold her for not eating and not feeding Isha (poor babies).

⊰⁠⊹ she hates when someone touches her hair, but you and Isha are the only exceptions. Sevika and Silco were only exceptions because they needed to braid her hair.

⊰⁠⊹ when you're at the last drop with her and someone started flirting/staring at you she'd be behind you, glaring at them with a creepy look on her face. only to protect you tho💗

im back after months lol

[alex-vents-or-something]

anyways. how we doing gang < talking to no one

[royaltea000]

this was actually for @doomspiral ‘s mini ruspru week but I’m. very.. slow… o)-(

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[deoidesign]

Random update sorry everything is taking so long. I've paused Patreon and I'm working on various things, but some people have started to express concern for my safety/living status so just letting you know I am alive!

[lesbianralzarek]

idk what discourse dimension some of you "fandom elders" are stuck in, but in my ~15 years in online (and sometimes irl) fandom spaces, this is the golden age for me

shipping wars have literally always existed and acting like we all used to hold hands and sing kumbaya is insane. "well, there wasnt this moral component thats soooo annoying these days" okay but thats worse. you do see how thats worse, right? people used to tell each other to kill themselves over zutara vs kataang and then not even care when people were racist. twice as mad for reasons half as reasonable. also, where were you all in 2015-2019? that was the era of "steven universe is fascism apologism" and "i headcanon these characters as found family, so its incest to ship them". now shipping "drama" is like "oh i broke mutuals with them after they wrote smut of this child character being assaulted by their parent", which is actually just a normal response

wondering what torment nexus some of you are trapped in where fandom has gotten more toxic? hope you can escape soon, because im having a ball out here in a world where biphobia is seen as a bigger problem than a ship being dumb

[ganondoodle]

me: finally im able to cope with how much i hate totk and can fuel that energy into other things :)

nintendy: the shiekah tech just dissappeared and no one knows why or cares enough to investigate it lol. lmao. its gone bc the calamity is gone or something even tho it literally isnt bc ganondorf is right there haha lol, stop asking, why do you care. just forget it existed and look at that sexy goatman and glue instead!! glue! isnt that wild?? also its totally a direct, 100% same universe and exact same characters, despite them act totally out of character, sequel to botw-