#i just think hades has a super cool aesthetic

[lokislytherin]

i'm playing hades and getting my ass beat in asphodel and im just thinking. hades!lookism au with zagreus!daniel who is adopted son of hades!charles choi and wants to escape hell

gun is meg bc i think meg is super hot + she can kick my ass any time! @/nivotron's fem gun is also super hot and she could also kick my ass any time but i can also kick meg's ass right back so who's winning rn. me i'm winning both ways it's the incurable m life (hence gun is meg. kick daniel's ass or daniel kicks his ass, both are good)

in terms of canonical importance i think crystal should be meg but crystal doesn't do that much ass kicking so she and goo are the other two furies who don't fight zagreus as much (? at least meg beats me more + i enjoy having my ass beaten by meg more bc alecto and i are both malding while we fight)

hades!lookism is just bamf daniel getting his ass kicked the electric boogaloo

i haven't gotten to that stage yet but jay is thanatos purely bc i wanna see him look badass in a cape and swing a massive fucking scythe like hoo boy. muscles

[knightpunk]

11 years + PJO Retrospective.

In honor of this year apparently being the revival of PJO, what with two books and the Disney+ series coming out, and my blog’s eleventh birthday, this is a bit of a retrospective of the series and my experience with the fandom. Warning for a lot of rambling and opinions that might not be popular.

When I got into the Percy Jackson books it was 2009, I was looking for books to read because I was going to be out for a bit because I had planned surgery, and I generally preferred young adult literature at the time because I still felt like a kid, even though I was twenty-one going on twenty-two, and that young adult lit was more adventurous, ready to push more boundaries than adult books. I still feel that way, if I’m honest.

Whoever said don’t judge a book by its cover is wrong, because the art of The Lightning Thief got my attention superfast. The original art for the books were simple and gorgeous in my opinion, and while the new covers that interlock are super cool, the original covers are just better. Especially The Lightning Thief’s.

I was at Barns and Noble looking at it, when another shopper saw I was looking at it, and she said her students loved the book. And since I was always into Greek Mythology, I got it.

I read the book, and while parts of it were cringy because of the humor, I couldn’t be mad at the book because I wasn’t the target audience. Still, the foundations and story beats of the novel were good enough I got the second and third book. I didn’t finish the third book because one of the few times I read a spoiler that turned me off a series; Luke’s death. Luke I had decided was my favorite character, and despite being the villain, I had hoped he’d survive. But, alas, he didn’t. And now, years later, I wonder what the hell I was thinking. I did read fanfics, however. And there are some good ones from back then.

Also, I have to admit, I am not a big fan of Grover. At the time I was very annoyed with the ‘humans are bastards’ trope. I felt it was very heavy handed in Grover’s subplot. While I agree that humans need to take better care of the environment, I don’t enjoy being bashed over the head with it. So, Grover annoyed me during the first book series, and I preferred Coach Hedge over Grover when it came to satyrs.

In 2010, The Lost Hero came out, and I gave it a try. I found the writing more mature, I guess. I’m not quite sure how else to explain it. But getting to experience someone else’s point of view other than Percy’s was nice. And it made me think Percy Jackson was kinda immature. Jason, Piper, and Leo were a lot more interesting to me at the time. Son of Neptune was good, though to me, Percy was the least interesting of the POV characters. And Nico di Angelo caught my attention, I reread the PJO books, read the books I skipped, and generally enjoyed myself. It didn’t hurt that Nico fit the ‘angsty dark haired swordsman’ aesthetic that I’ve enjoyed since Zuko. And I had gone through a minor punk/emo phase myself when I was a teenager. Not so much skulls, but fishnet shirts and collars, the chains belts. I guess you’d call it more of scene phase because I liked bright colors and dancing. So, Nico appealed to me in that sense too.

The Mark of Athena, however, was kind of a letdown for me. It was all Greek POV characters, and I was more interested in Hazel, Frank, and Jason as Leo started to annoy me in this book, I thought Percy shouldn’t have had POV chapters as he had just had his own book, so instead of him, it should have been Jason. But, anyway, it didn’t really make me look forward to The House of Hades.

But by that point Nico was a favorite character, so when HoH came out, or rather when I remembered it had come out, I decided to check the wiki and see if he survived the book. My exact thinking was ‘if he died, I’m done with the series.’

Well. Obviously, he didn’t die. He became one of the first LGBT+ characters in middle school literature. In a fantasy series.

In my experience, the fantasy genre has been rather conservative, especially works aimed towards kids, because getting people to see our sexual orientation is just about sex is super difficult. It’s why we drop ‘sexual’ in sexual orientation. My senior of high school was spent searching for fantasy that starred gay men so I could see myself in the genre I loved, and was told by several friends (who at the time didn’t know better, but now do) that it was stupid to read something just for that. But I was starving to see myself in what I read.

Anyways, Nico coming out huge to me, a young gay man. My favorite character was like me. Sure, he was fourteen and I was twenty-five at the time, but still. It was nice, to see some of myself in this character I enjoyed. No subtext, just text. Someone who was like me when I was a teenager.

I went from almost giving up on the series to loving it all the more. Obviously, I bought the book and devoured it as fast as I could. It was more enjoyable than Mark of Athena, though there were things I didn’t like; Piper didn’t get a lot of action, I felt there was too much focus on Percy and Annabeth and that a few of their chapters could have been subbed out and the pages given to Piper. The change in narrators wasn’t good. Joshua Swanson was a better narrator than Nick Chamian. I always wondered why the change. My gut says Swanson didn’t want to do anything gay, but I have nothing to back that up. And it’s a moot point, as it looks like they’re going back and making it so each POV character has a different narrator. A practice that used to annoy me, but now I enjoy. I’m not a Jesse Bernstein fan, the narrator for PJO, fan. His narration is fine, but it’s not groundbreaking. The Apollo series had the best narrator. More on that later.

Funny thing though, outside of the PJO books, Nico’s always given a voice that’s a bit deeper than the main character, despite being younger, I just think it’s funny.

I eagerly awaited Blood of Olympus. I was shipping Jasico because Jason was so nice to Nico when he needed it.

Blood of Olympus came out, and it was fine. I remember so many people disliking the book for whatever reasons, but to me, it was fine. I was hoping for something more between Jason and Nico than what we got, but I was okay with it. Nico didn’t need a boyfriend, Nico needed healing, and the ship tease with Will Solace was okay with me.

I remember a lot of people saying Will was nineteen because of fan driven wiki, and I was like ‘guys, they’re a) not dating yet, and b) Will’s barely a character whose age hasn’t been stated at all. He could have been younger than Nico for all we knew. When The Hidden Oracle came out, I had a chuckle at Will stating his age to be fifteen, because people were up in arms about the theoretical age difference.

Honestly, so much drama happened when Will was promoted from ‘guy representing Apollo Cabin’ to ‘potential love interest for Nico’ that looking back, it makes me cringe. So many people were up in arms about someone who at that point was barely a character.

“He’s too controlling with his ‘Doctor’s Orders’ ‘he touches people without being asked’” and so on. People were mad because he was dismissive of Nico’s view of the camp, you know, without remembering Jason more or less said the exact same thing to him in House of Hades. And none of it actually had to do with Will’s behavior and it all had to do with shipping. My opinion of shipping is mostly neutral, but some of the crap that gets pulled out in order to justify an opinion on not liking a ship really annoys me. Not just for this fandom, but for others.

There are no real stakes in shipwars, it’s all masturbatory performance people do to make themselves feel better about themselves and convince others they’re better. I have very little respect for people who claim their ship is ‘the moral’ ship. And in the case of Will and Nico at the time of Blood of Olympus, it was extremely annoying for people to care so much about something that could have very easily ignored because Will had so little canon material.

As someone back when The Hidden Oracle came out said, “we were all joking that Will was going to Nico on a leash with ‘Doctor’s Orders’ but instead he gave Nico a doctor’s note basically letting him do what he wants.” Which at the time got a laugh out of me, but now I’m like ‘well, fandom made a much bigger deal out of it than it needed to’

Will was fleshed out as character in both The Hidden Oracle and The Tower of Nero, and while I respect people who don’t like Nico and Will over Nico and Jason, I do raise eyebrows at people who will cling to perceptions of Will that were formed before we got to know him better. Are there things that could have been better handled? Of course, but why spend your time hating something when it’s easier and healthier to ignore it and focus on doing things you enjoy?

I’m going to be honest, Will and Nico are fine as teenagers in their first relationship, but I don’t really see it lasting into adulthood. I didn’t see Jason and Piper (…), or Percy and Annabeth lasting into adulthood either. Though with Percabeth I was like ‘well, if they do, it’s going to be super co-dependent and unhealthy.’ So that’s in a lot of my unpublished and uncompleted fanfics. I’m just not a fan of the high school sweethearts trope unless they’re getting back together. So, if you’re wondering what my stance is on Nico’s canon relationship, that’s it. It’s cute, it’s a first relationship, it doesn’t have to be perfect.

(And the fact fandom in general has bought into the idea that all gay relationships must be perfect and unproblematic is both boring and problematic in and of itself. I have little patience for that kind of thinking.)

Anyway, moving on.

Apollo’s books were everything I could have wanted for a series of books about Apollo. Well, I wanted more Nico, but I really enjoyed Apollo’s books. Robbie Daymond was the narrator for the audiobooks, and I highly recommend them. Daymond is a fantastic actor in general, and these books were my first introduction to him really. I knew he voiced Prompto in Final Fantasy XV, but I couldn’t into the game for a variety of reasons. He voices Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask in the Viz dub of Sailor Moon, and he has a whole portfolio of amazing characters to his name. Hubert from Fire Emblem Three Houses, Kayn from League of Legends. All around great actor. Daymond being a massive nerd has only endeared me more to him. He was on Critical Role and his character Dorian Storm is a lot like how he voiced Apollo. I’ve only become more of a fan of his since. And if I ever get my book published, I want him to be the narrator for it.

The Kane Chronicles were fun, though not as neatly integrated into the universe as Magnus’ books, and I adore Magnus and his friends. It’s super cool to see the world just grow so much more diverse with LGBT+ characters like Nico and Alex. Having an entire series starring Apollo being unashamedly bisexual was just, so much. I could just gush about the Apollo books, along with Magnus discovering he’s not straight. It’s just a lot, and I wish that I was a kid again, growing up reading these.

So going from the Apollo books, back to Percy’s books. It’s hard. And when people say they prefer the PJO series and wish it had ended after that I find myself confused as to why. The first five books are incredibly white and cis, and looking back, I have to think Riordan made that choice to get published back in the early part of this century. Once he had more clout, he made the world more diverse in skin color and culture with Piper, Leo, Frank, and Hazel, and then Nico came out in House of Hades, and his world just hasn’t stopped being so much better for it.

Riordan might miss the mark sometimes, but he tries, he tries his best, and that’s more than what a lot of people do. I would rather someone try and fail in good faith than no one try at all. And it annoys me that so many people are dismissive of that. By all means, call him out when he gets something wrong but at the same time, remember you’re enjoying his labor and he does get things right as well. Anger is one thing, being mean is another. 

Anyway, that’s my retrospective on the series. In April, I plan on rereading the entire series, Kane Chronicles and Magnus books included, to get ready for Nico’s book. I’ll probably have more thoughts then.

[paradoxhax]

so i've been having the time of my life emulating and modding stuff on my 3ds and helping my boyfriend do the same. little did i know replaying Pokemon HeartGold would end up being more impactful on my daily life than my 10 mg of lexapro ever was

but anyway, y'all know what that means:

✨💖MEET THE TEAM!!!💖✨

Now proudly presenting: my six darlings

notice how they all have unique names, it's very cutesy, very demure. i care about the personalities i attribute to them, it's very mindful. i also have astrological signs and strat details, it's very dem-- wait, autistic. it's very autistic, that's what that is.

but fr if you wanna read more about each of my battling babies, then read on <3

alright i'll go from the top of the list to the bottom, LR style!

⚡️ AMPHAROS // ZEUS ⚡️

Team Rank: #2 // Taurus ♉️

Zeus was my lil golden ball of fluff, became a pink one, and is now a yellow lighthouse with arms and i love him very much. Also, I'm including each member's "team rank," as in like their chain of command. I don't play favorites, I love all my children equally I don't care for Job. Zeus was literally the 2nd kiddo to join the team, so he's been my ride or die. The OG Gold was my first video game and Ampharos was on my team, so he was a must for this go-around

Zeus has purely SpAtk and status moves -- 10 y/o me had this lambchop using Thunder Punch with an ass attack stat. Signal Beam comes in for unexpected Dark/Psychic countering, and Thunder Wave ruins ppl's battles with ease.

🌊 VAPOREON // NEPTUNE 🌊

Team Rank: #5 // Libra ♎️

One of the Eeveelutions I've never used in a team comp before, and he's an unexpectedly powerful one! Other than Lapras, I'm not a fan of the Surfers gen 2 can offer so after robbing Bill at g*npoint for his Eevee, I got this monster!

Neptune's got beefy stats an Aqua Ring + Leftovers combo that results in his huge hp pool getting decent restoration every turn. He can take down dragons, mountains, and more!

👻 MISMAGIUS // SOMBRA 👻

Team Rank: #6 // Sagittarius ♐️

i've literally never played overwatch b4 why do u ask Sombra is the newest member of the team when I caught a Misdreavus between Cianwood and the Safari! I always thought the Gen 4 Extra Evolutions were super cool (future team members will continue this trend) and Mismagius' aesthetic fits the team.

With a Ghost and Dark attack, Sombra likes to hit that sick Double Team once or twice at the start of each match to be annoying especially since she's also holding Bright Powder. I also taught her Energy Ball for unexpected counters against Water/Ground/Rock!

◻️🪽 TOGEKISS // ARTEMIS 🪽◻️

Team Rank: #4 // Gemini ♊️

To all the percy jackson stans who think I'm pretty damn cool rn, I'm sorry to have to tell you the truth: I just play a lot of Hades, I love you plz don't be mad at me. But yes, this is the Togepi we're given from Elm/Oak and this is another thing I have to thank Gen 4 for as well! I always loved the idea of getting a cute, rare pokemon to hatch, but it never became anything too remarkable until Togekiss rounded out the evolutionary trio.

Artemis is a WALL with some great SpAtk as well. I taught him Bulk Up to help her regular Def match his SpDef, as well as giving a little more punch to Fly. All that + tons of HP make Artemis incredibly balanced and reliable fighter.

🐲🪽 DRAGONITE // HONEY 🪽🐲

Team Rank: #3 // Pisces ♓️

Honey is the sweetest and the babiest of my sweet babies. Yes, I run a Dragon Dance + Murder Combo. Yes, his name is Honey cuz that's what color he is.

I adore Dragon pokemon, and Dragonite has always been one I never got to use as a kid for one reason or another. He's adorable, he hits like a mac truck, and just look at that lil smile!

🔥 TYPHLOSION // DIEGO 🔥

Team Rank: Leader // Leo ♌️

Despite Chikorita being my truest love of the gen 2 starters, I will never deny anyone's claims that Typhlosion kicks ass. Diego felt more appropriate for the team I wanted to build, considering my only other go-to fire type is Arcanine. Arcanine is my favorite Pokemon, but I gotta give a chance to some other fire types sometimes.

He might be a bit of a glass cannon, but Diego's solid speed let's his attacks hit hard and fast. Flamethrower is a must, as is Earthquake. For Flying/Ice coverage, he's got Rock Slide, and then a fun sexy lil Aerial Ace for Fighting coverage!

Everyone say something nice about my team plz and thank you!!!

[glassamphibians]

heres random nico headcannons that totally aren’t to make up for anything because nothing bad has happened here :) nothing at all :)

• he’s already greying and it should probably concern him but it fits the Goth Aesthetic so he’s cool w/ it

• every time a parent meets him their Parent Instincts immediately kick in. if ur mom meets nico she will be asking about him for the rest of ur life there’s nothing you can do about it. there is an ongoing joke in the Jackson Household that sally is going to replace percy w/ nico. percy does not find this funny.

• speaking of percy, video games saved he and nico’s friendship. they were both determined to be friends but had no clue where to start so percy asked him if he knew about mario kart and boom friendship saved

• they get super competitive & its a healthy way for them to get their primordial big three rivalry feelings out without killing each other <3

• nico dedicated his animal crossing island to crossbreeding every type of black flower he can, but it backfired and now is island is covered in flowers and he doesn’t have room for anything else :/

• he gets a patchwork sleeve when he’s older & all of the tattoos either have extremely personal meanings or were gotten on a whim. there is no in between.

• he also has an planchette tattoo at the nape of his neck get it bc like ouija board bc he can talk to ghosts its vv clever

• his voice is kinda raspy bc drinking literal fire and then suffocating in a jar is bad for ur throat probably

• harley is convinced nico has met God. nico has made no attempts to correct him.

• he and reyna have matching rings

• also after boo reyna gave him her silver pocket knife that he’d used to kill lycaon. it was kinda emotional bc nico cannot comprehend people giving him things and not expecting something in return :,)

• rachel and nico have sleepovers all the time!! nico is a cryptid so he genuinely loves sleeping in the cave & he has his own designated Painting Wall. rachel is a fraud so she sneaks into his cabin & sleeps there and he promises to never tell camp <3

• he helps the hermes kids smuggle junk food into camp. he buys all of it and refuses to take his cut of the profits after they sell it. he just does it bc he’s bored and they’re all deeply platonically in love with him

• it hasn’t happened yet but one day carter and sadie will pull him out of the duat on accident and chaos will ensue

• asphodels grow around the hades cabin as well as those bioluminescent plants that grow in the palace gardens. this isn’t about him i just think it’d be pretty

• he has a massive sweet tooth i feel like this is cannon already bc we only ever see him eating deserts. seriously just give him something sweet and he’ll immediately side w/ you idk why the titans didn’t try this

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Absolutely wild Rachel thinks it makes sense Rhea wouldn’t be the single named parent to the sisters/“friends” while Kronos is the single named parent to the brothers as if Rhea isn’t literally an anagram for Hera, her ancient art isnt modeled to look like Hestia, and that she shares divine mother/fertility status with Demeter. Like cmon, giving Hades an Oedipus complex is not worth it when the more obvious connections is right there and would actually get rid of the weird explicit incest and overtones she was desperately trying to get rid of but (accidentally?) made so much worse.

2. yall gotta realize the extent of rachel's "research' is purely a 30 second glance at google and thats it. thats why hephaestus has runner blades instead of actual prosthetics, it's why ares' military uniform isnt correct, it's why she puts in french aesthetics despite the country not even existing yet, its why sicily is framed as more important and the actual birthplace of these gods than actual greece, and the list goes on and on. rachel doesnt care about being remotely accurate and never has.

3. im confused because wasnt it a point persephone was uncomfortable with hades being hyper violent especially over her? yet this whole trial has been him going overboard in being a violet prat to literally everyone especially when its not warranted. tho for all we know rachel either forgot the part of persephone being uncomfortable with it or thinks everyone else forgot and shes reimplementing it bc she thinks its hot. anyway name a more iconic duo than LO and inconsistency over everything.

4. I don' care if the readers are young and don't know any better, literally no one with more than two brain cells would ever be cool and even approve of Persephone, only a week into being 20, would throw away her entire life, friends, and family (and possibly even her own powers if she eats the Pom) for some guy she's only known a most a month who doesn't respect her wants and obsesses over her body. Demeter is literally the only sane person in this sorry and she's the bad guy? Seriously?

5. tbh if you're 2000+ years old, are super rich, framed as the most desirable and power and sexy, and are a literal KING and you still couldnt find a wife or even a true relationship in all that time maybe the problem is you, buddy, not that everyone else isnt good enough or you haven't found an impressionable teenager to fawn over you.

6. Yeah Thanatos constantly flinching and being frightened of hades considering that was his caretaker has some rather bad implications to what hades was actually like off screen to this kid (and he was terrible on screen).

7. This comic's writing is my getting worse because Apollo read it and was so offended at his portrayal that he cursed Rachel and her writing forever.

8. im honestly shocked rachel would go with the "hera made hephaestus herself" version bc its so overwhelming ableist AND misogynistic because it says hera isnt good enough on her own and thats why hephaestus isnt "right" like everyone else, especially against athena. idk i think it would have been nicer if he was zeus and hera's kid together and it'd be a sweeter story of them loving him and sticking up against people who doubt and bully him, but god forbid this fanfic depict them positively 😑

9. to add on the "perfect looks" anon, even ancient greeks didnt depict the gods all the same? like hera and demeter were depicted as more matronly, aphrodite was more curvy, artemis was more skinny, athena muscular, etc. even the guys werent all the same (apollo, eros, and dionysus looked more effeminate, hermes looked more like a teen, hephaestus was more muscular, etc) so the idea rachel is "clever" for having everyone look the same is wrong and just badly excusing her for being a lazy artist.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. FP// Sorry but the only god the mortals feared was Hades and for very obvious reasons, but even then they didn't see him as a monster. Literally every other god, including Pan who is a major weirdo, was well loved and respected. I think Hades is just projecting his own insecurities onto everyone else when they clearly don't have the same issue. Plus in this he's so violent and cruel and literally enslaves the dead, why wouldn't the mortals see him as a monster? Get a hint, idiot.

[captainwaffles]

Halloween Nico Di Angelo Headcanon

While I think he embodies Halloween I think he has some issues with it. Italy (according to Google searches) wasn’t celebrated when he was living with his mom and sister in Italy. So he doesn’t really have any memories till after the lotus hotel. I feel like with all the trauma he proably has some aspects of Halloween like jump scares and some horror movies make him uncomfortable. Some of the inaccuracies he finds annoying and occasionally hilarious. But he’s a sucker for the aesthetic and the chance to make memories with Hazel and Will so he enjoys it overall. He heard about Halloween when he was wondering around one day. Found a Spirit Halloween. Kids rich so he was like okay cool and wandered in. Found amazing clothes and werid costumes. He asked Hades about Halloween and he just grumbled and muttered stuff. So Nico really tried to find out but just kinda failed. That first Halloween after The war with Giea, Nico finally discovered Halloween. Nico and will weren’t quite dating yet but they where friends so Will was super excited to show Halloween to Nico. Camp halfblood doesn’t have much of a celebration due to fears and stuff but there’s a little. A group of campers this year to blow off some steam snuck out of camp to buy costumes and try and trick or treat. Will and Cecil some how managed to get him a unicorn onesie. Nico is so embarrassed till he starts getting candies. This is how will finds out about the Kit Kat thing. Nico gouges himself on crap cheap candy and just doesn’t care. He notices a lot of ghost around and talks to them and tries to guide them the best he can. Every year after that him and will get super bad couple costumes, definitely the sun and moon, and a bunch of werid stuff and neither care about bending (or breaking) gender norms. He lives at spirit Halloween. Him and Rachel always go to get stuff in his black and white aesthetic and to find her crazy makeup and wigs to goof off with. They’ve given eachother makeovers.

He’d shadow travel him and will to someplace to meet up with Hazel and frank every year. Mostly old town squares and stuff, just eating candy apples and laughing at costumes

Halloween really makes Nico happy at the end of the day and is probably his favorite holiday

(Also when he dressed up as the moon Artemis got made but apollo made her laugh it off and they actually find it quite funny now)

I will be making one for Will just be patient

[seattlesea]

bad representation in the riordanverse

Racism:

-Gave Hazel and Piper gold and ‘kaleidoscope’/brown-blue-green changing eyes and pretty much went ‘Let’s add some characters of color but they cANT HAVE BROWN EYES THAT’S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH’ as if whitewashing isn’t more than just the skin.

-East Asian characters: Riordan pretty much went 'Here are my East Asian characters- one of them looks like a fat baby on steroids and is super undeveloped, his mother is strict and cold, and all the others are just described as 'Asian' because different countries in Asia don't exist and there's obviously no difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Korean'. His portrayal of East Asian characters went like this: Frank: Chinese, chubby, hates himself, underdeveloped, described to look like a 'Chinese Canadian baby man' and a 'panda' as if that's not stereotyping, and only learned to love himself when he looked hotter.  Drew: Asian, villainized, rude, shallow, vain, and selfish. Ethan: Asian, rude, evil, a traitor, and deceased. Grandma Zhang- rude, strict, cold, traditional, and deceased.

-Hazel: Has gold eyes. Has 'cinnamon brown' hair even though dark brown or black hair would be way more inclusive and realistic. Had a mother portrayed as a rude and selfish witch who sacrificed, used, and trafficked her own child. Was the only character called or described as a witch while African-Americans were usually accused of witchcraft just for their skin color. Was the only character who was cursed. Had a mother who literally practiced voodoo. The only African-American character in the series before ToA who isn't dead (but she also died). Was paired with a sixteen year old guy even though African women are constantly forced with older men and that's blatantly racist stereotyping. 

-Piper: Had 'chocolate brown' and then 'mahogany' hair? Has kaleidoscope eyes. Put a feather in her hair (which is stereotyping)- and it was an eagle feather, which is also wrong because eagles are extremely sacred to First Nation tribes and only spiritual leaders or warriors can wear it or it has to be gifted by an Elder of the tribe, and Riordan basically went 'Feathers are very important and it's racist to make a character wear one at inappropriate times but I'm going to make my character wear one as a cute accessory to make her look cool, pretty, and headstrong and to add to her 'Aesthetic'’ even though Cherokees didn’t wear feathers (which proves he did the bare minimum of research). Constantly oversexualized (56% of First Nation women are sexually harassed and Riordan had the audacity to put Piper in an 'embarrassingly low v-neck' and to have her constantly drooled over by a WHITE MALE and have her sexualized by her 1000+ mother without her knowledge or consent).  It's said that her father was from a reservation in Oklahoma...but there are no reservations in Oklahoma, only cultural centers (which also proves that he did the bare minimum of research).  She's the only First Nations character and she's the only character (besides Nancy Bobofit) depicted as a kleptomaniac (First Nations people are constantly called thieves by racist assholes). “The week before, he’d turned down several million dollars to play Tonto in a remake of The Lone Ranger. Piper was still trying to figure out why. He’d played all kinds of roles—a Latino teacher in a tough L.A. school, a dashing Israeli spy in an action-adventure blockbuster, even a Syrian terrorist in a James Bond movie. And, of course, he would always be known as the King of Sparta. But if the part was Native American—it didn’t matter what kind of role it was—Dad turned it down.” (The Lost Hero, page 165). So her father is fine with playing an extremely racist and stereotypical Middle Eastern role but not a First Nations role. Uses a cornucopia as a weapon (how she got it- cutting it off a half-bull- is disrespectful to her culture as hurting an animal is banned and she used a cornucopia- a symbol of Thanksgiving- as a weapon). Cut her hair, which is basically taboo in First Nations culture.

-Samirah: Had an arranged marriage (at age twelve, and she believed that she was groomed to be married to a rich and respectable family and nothing else). Ripped off her hijab in front of tons of male characters. The only Muslim character. The only Muslim character and she's the only character who married her cousin (you're supposed to break stereotypes, not enforce them).

Thomas Jefferson Jr: Said that he was thankful to the British for not siding with the South during the American Civil War even though they needed the South's cotton (but they didn't side with the North either). AKA a black man and son of a freed slave was thankful to Britain for not openly oppressing him? And at the same time he was named after a racist slave-owner.

Reyna: She's brown and her entire story revolves around her being independent, strong, alone, and self-sufficient but also desperately needing love and support but then Riordan says that she can't get her heart healed AKA she went through an abusive home, killed her father, left her sister, felt alone her whole life, worked a two-person job alone for months, and had to put on a brave face for others throughout all this then was literally told 'Shut up no one wants to hear about your struggles, just suck it up and deal with it’ and have you seen all the shit brown girls have to go through and keep silent about it? 

Extra: -Latino, Puerto Rican, African-American, Chinese-Canadian, East Asian, First Nations, etc. characters and the two most powerful, best, and most skilled characters and who the stories mostly revolve around are two white guys AKA white supremacy.

-"Harriet Tubman, daughter of Hermes, used many mortals on her Underground Railroad for just this reason" and that World War II was caused by a child of Zeus and a child of Hades fighting very blatantly erases the shit those people went through and Riordan just went 'Let's use these racist movements as little easter eggs in my story'.

-Thanatos, who was chained and enslaved, is described with dark skin.

-Riordan writing the characters went a little something like this: Drew: You get common Eastern Asian features like dark hair and eyes because you're arrogant, selfish, conceited, and rude, and because you're an antagonist and you're going to be used to make one of my protagonists- who has unique traits- look good so you're going to have the basic, 'boring' physical traits so the readers know who's the more superior of the two of you. Leo: You get common Latino features like curly dark hair, dark eyes, and light brown skin cause you're the weird, hyperactive unattractive one who's very flirty but constantly gets rejected and you're the only main character without a love interest and the only way you can get a girlfriend is when she's forced to fall in love with you through a curse. Frank: You get common Chinese features like dark hair and eyes cause you're the fat unattractive loser who catches the eye of the African character who already has unique and 'special' traits so you don't have to be super attractive. Reyna: You get common Puerto Rican traits like dark skin, hair, and eyes cause you're the stoic, lonely, intimidating, and cold one who wants all the guys (two white guys for that matter) but none of them want you and they both have girlfriends with traits like blonde hair and gray and kaleidoscope eyes so the readers know who are the more interesting couples.  Piper and Hazel: You two get eurocentric features because you're the main characters I have to set apart from everyone else- including other females whom I'm going to make one of you rivals with- so the readers know who's more superior so I'm giving you unique eye colors that literally cannot be found in humans so I'm going to try to validate it by saying that it's from something mildly associated with your godly parent even though neither of them have those traits. Riordan basically said that the common features are bad and boring and that unique and special features- aka features not found in those ethnicities- are good and cool. Also- if gods don’t have DNA how can their traits be passed down to their demigod children checkmate Riordan.

-Cecil Markowitz is the only Jewish character in PJO and the first thing used to describe him is "That kid, always thinking about the potential payout".

-Lavinia said that she was going to bring her date to her bat mitzvah even though you don't bring dates to bat mitzvahs or bar mitzvahs and she said that it was 'awkward' to tell her rabbi that someone was going to be her date even though you don't explain your guestlist to your rabbi, and they're most likely not even going to be at the party.

-Only three Latino and Puerto Rican characters (Leo, Reyna, and Hylla) and all three came from abusive households.

-Leo said 'Mamacita' as if that's not stereotyping.

-Made Nico ‘pale’ even though he had olive skin and gave him black hair and dark eyes despite Italians usually having light hair and eyes just to add to his ‘Goth Boy Aesthetic’.

-Hazel described Pluto to look like Adolf Hitler.

-Carter Kane said that Elvis took African-American music and made it sound like rock 'n roll and described it as cool- like no it’s cultural appropriation. 

-Leo was abused and Riordan thought that it'd be funny to make all the other characters line up to punch him and then try to make it look funny. 

-Gave almost every single POC character a white name and sometimes gave them white first names and POC surnames, and Reyna and Bianca are the only POC characters with names from their culture/native language and one of them is dead and reborn as someone else and the other’s full name wasn’t revealed until the fourth book in her series and she hates using it.

-Made two POC characters with names from their culture- Samirah and Olujime- go by white nicknames (Sam and Jamie) to make it ‘easier to read’ despite having white characters with the same amount of syllables in their names (like Annabeth) that didn’t go by nicknames.

-Never actually described the characters of color with physical traits from their ethnicities (Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with big eyes, thick eyebrows, brown hair, wide noses, full lips, etc., Piper with almost-oriental eyes, shovel teeth, high cheekbones, black hair, etc., Nico with light or brown hair and eyes, olive skin, a narrow nose, etc., Hazel with a wide nose and lips, dark brown eyes, black or dark brown hair, big eyes, thick eyebrows, etc.).

Anti-LGBTQ+:

-Nico was forcibly outed by Cupid and Riordan and the fandom didn't care and the only thing they thought was 'Aww, he has a crush on Percy! So cute!' AKA romanticizing a forced outing. 

-Riordan said that he didn't want to make Reyna lesbian or bisexual because he thought it'd be stereotypical making her LGBTQ+ because she didn't want men anymore even though she could've been bisexual all along but Riordan casually dismissed the idea of that saying "Having a girl end up with a woman after dating men is a bad stereotype" and basically said that real bi girls don’t exist.

-The Hunters of Artemis were made so Artemis/Diana could protect those girls from men and their behavior towards women but Riordan dismissed lesbian relationships- even though nothing about that was said in real Greek mythology- meaning that he thinks that women need protection from other women just as much as they need protection from men.

-Alex Fierro is the only gender-fluid or transgender character and she/he’s seen as rude, snarky, and sharp and Magnus could magically tell when Alex changed gender.

-Riordan said that he wouldn’t make Reyna a lesbian because of stereotypes despite the reader asking if Reyna was going to get a girlfriend, not come out as lesbian AKA Riordan thinks ‘Girls liking girls’ is automatically ‘lesbian’ and completely dismissed bi, pan, poly, omni, etc. girls.

-Used a self-insert to make fun of wlw readers who saw themself in Reyna and thought she could be a cool character to relate to.

-Enforced LGBTQ+ stereotypes like the cold-hearted Asexual, the flamboyant bi/pan, the snarky gender-fluid, the emo gay, the laid-back and rebellious lesbian who dyed her hair pink and chews a lot of bubblegum, etc.

-Has one-hundred fifty-five characters total minus gods/goddesses, Titans, giants, nymphs, dryads, satyrs, monsters, etc. and only has fifteen confirmed LGBTQ+ characters (do the math, that’s exactly one out of ten regarding OCs).

-Only one character that isn’t cishet.

-Saves most the LGBTQ+ for the side characters or only confirms characters LGBTQ+ once they’ve become a minor character despite being a main character before.

-Only stated that Reyna was Asexual outside of his books and on Twitter as if that’s not exactly what J.K Rowling is doing.

-Used the LGBTQ+ community to make Piper seem like the ‘special snowflake’ and to set her apart from her siblings to make it seem like she’s better than all of them and used Hera/Juno and Aphrodite/Venus as excuses for his homophobic mindset that believes that straight is the default cause “Suddenly, much of what she and I had talked about started to make sense. Not being defined by Aphrodite’s expectations. Or Hera’s ideas of what a perfect couple looked like. Piper finding her own way, not the one people expected of her” in synonymous words is 'The expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are a heterosexual relationship, and anyone who 'finds their own way instead of the ones people expect' are different'. ‘Different’ and ‘default’ are antonyms AKA if he thinks that LGBTQ+ people are ‘different’, he thinks that straight is the ‘default’. Remember- an author writes their own personal beliefs.

-Josephine is the only black LGBTQ+ character.

-Reyna is said to be Asexual despite feeling sexual attraction towards Percy cause no one likes someone five minutes after knowing them and it’s anything but sexual attraction.

-Magnus and Alex are the only LGBTQ+ relationship whose growth and development is actually shown in the story (while there was also Apollo and Commodus, Piper and Shel, Will and Nico, Apollo and Hyacinthus, Emmie and Jo, Lavinia and Poison Oak, etc.).

-Riordan never canonically said the name of any sexuality and is clearly uncomfortable with the LGBTQ+ community shown by his little to no writing regarding physical affection and deep emotions in his LGBTQ+ relationships.

-Only added in LGBTQ+ relationships for publicity- Percy Jackson and the Olympians release dates: 2005-2009. 2005-2009: LGBTQ+ support was nearly at an all-time low. No LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The Lost Hero-The Mark of Athena release dates: 2010-2012. 2010-2012: LGBTQ+ support was still very low. Still no LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The House of Hades release date: late 2013. Mid-2013: the giant spike for LGBTQ+ support and allies. One confirmed LGBTQ+ character. The Sword of Summer release date: late 2015. 2015: LGBTQ+ support was good and gay marriage was legalized. A few LGBTQ+ references but no confirmed characters. The Hammer of Thor and The Ship of the Dead release dates: 2016-2017. 2016-2017: LGBTQ+ support was quite high. Two confirmed LGBTQ+ characters and the first canon LGBTQ+ relationship and kiss. The Trials of Apollo release dates: 2016-2020. 2016-2020: LGBTQ+ support was very high. More LGBTQ+ characters confirmed in one book than all the other series combined. Kind of obvious he was just following the public opinion.

-Legit said ‘Reyna can’t like girls cause she has had crushes on guys before’.

Ableism:

-It was heavily implied in The Battle of the Labyrinth that Rachel Dare had schizophrenia/psychosis but it's never brought up again.

-Grover's fake feet made it look like he was disabled from the Mist and it was said that he was bullied because of it but it was never brought up again.

-It was said that Tyson looked like he had down syndrome from the Mist covering his one eye but it was never brought up again. 

-It was stated that every character but Frank has ADHD and dyslexia but never actually showed any symptoms after Percy Jackson and the Olympians and characters like Piper and Leo were even able to read English writing throughout The Lost Hero and the only symptom of ADHD Riordan showed through his characters was ‘a lot of fidgeting’ as if that’s not a blatant stereotype. 

Pedophilia:

-Luke, a twenty-two/twenty-three year old had a crush on Annabeth, a sixteen year old. That's a six-seven year age gap. 

-The only two girls put into relationships with much older men are black (Hazel and Sadie).

-Hazel, a thirteen year old, got together with a sixteen year old guy. Hazel's crush on Frank is normal- a girl having a crush on an older guy, but Frank's crush on Hazel is disgusting- an older guy looking down at a child and thinking about making out with her.

Misogyny:

-Aphrodite's kids are seen as useless, weak, snobby, shallow, vain, and selfish just because they’re feminine. 

-Riordan portrayed Aphrodite’s kids as feminine despite Aphrodite being the goddess of love and beauty, not femininity, as if romance and beauty are reserved for women only. 

-Piper is the only 'tomboy' child of Aphrodite and she's portrayed as tougher, stronger, and better than her feminine siblings (and it's portrayed that way multiple times throughout the story like other characters telling Piper she’s "-tough for a child of Aphrodite").

-Piper immediately stereotyped and disliked every single feminine character like Drew and the rest of the Aphrodite cabin just because they liked makeup and skirts as if that’s not shallow criticism. 

-Feminine characters like Drew, Isabel, Khione, and Medea are used or even created solely as antagonists to make Piper- the tomboy- look better.

-Calypso is the only feminine character and she sucks at everything. 

-Riordan’s take on female characters: Drew: a vain, rude, selfish, snobby, and bitchy mean girl. Silena: a shallow traitor. Reyna: a cold-hearted robot. Piper: internalized misogyny that was never brought up again. Calypso: an island whore. Athena: a rude, aggressive bitch with no emotions. Aphrodite: shallow, vain, conceited, and self-centered. Hera: completely evil with no backstory added into it. Marie: an evil witch who selfishly used and sacrificed her daughter.

-The Hunters of Artemis were blessed by Artemis to protect them from men but Riordan made it only about the men in their lives (again) and portrayed the whole 'losing men' thing like it was a burden and that they're 'giving men up' even though they join the Hunters to leave men. He distorted the original meaning of the Hunters- protecting women- by making it about the Hunters hating and being forced to leave men even though they're asking to have no men in their lives, cause that's the point of it. 

-The Amazons and Hunters of Artemis despise men and literally attack them if they so much as speak as if sexism is reserved for women only.

-Portrayed femininity as weakness (and masculinity as strength, it’s even in the word- tomBOY).

-Constantly pit women against women for the sake of romance and love triangles instead of normalizing women getting along despite liking the same people and let the female’s relationships get controlled and influenced by the men in their lives.

-The men always outpower the women in powers and skills. Riordan’s portrayal of powers and characters- Percy: You’re going to have epic water powers and can even create your own personal hurricanes and even though you’ve only been canonically training for eight months total you’re going to be the best swordfighter despite multiple characters having years more training than you. Jason: You’re going to be able to fly, control lightning, create storms, and electric shock people into another dimension. Leo: You’re going to be able to create and control fire and blow shit up with just a screwdriver. Frank: You’re going to be able to shape-shift into any animal you want, even a whole dragon. Nico: You’re going to be able to control darkness and shadows, literally teleport, and raise a whole army of undead soldiers. Reyna: Powers? Nah, your only ability is to lend strength to others as if that benefits you at all. Annabeth: Powers? Nah. Piper: You’re going to be able to manipulate and seduce people and are literally going to use your body and attractiveness as a weapon and your power is literally called charmspeak. Hazel: You have more powers than all the other characters combined that can literally destroy anyone in less than a second but you’re never going to use them or even remember that you have them cause screw the female character being more powerful than the males. 

-The men always accomplish the most incredible feats and if the females ever do accomplish something great (Reyna healing the riff and defeating Orion while the Hunters and Amazons couldn’t combined, Annabeth going through Tartarus, Hazel learning to control the Mist, etc.) they are never praised or rewarded or all the credit goes to the men. 

-Ares/Mars in real Greek/Roman mythology was the feminist patron of the Amazons who loved his daughter very much and killed a rapist but was portrayed as the dumb, cruel asshole who loved nothing but bloodshed and tried to kill a twelve year-old kid who was trying to help him while Poseidon/Neptune in real Greek/Roman mythology was a greedy, short-tempered, and arrogant asshole who raped almost as much women than Zeus/Jupiter but was portrayed as the kind, caring, and gentle father figure. 

Fatophobia:

-Frank is the only chubby character and he hates himself because of it, was constantly fat-shamed, and only learned to love himself after he got rippling abs, muscles, and looked hotter (because fat = ugly in Riordan’s mind, even though it's not). 

-Clovis was depicted with a pot-belly and Drew described him as 'repulsive'.

-Dionysus/Bacchus is also depicted with a pot-belly and he's portrayed as a useless, rude, lazy, and drunken asshole. 

Lookism:

Basically how Riordan wrote his characters- Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Reyna, Hazel, Piper, and most minor protagonists: You’re all going to be super attractive, have at least one character or more pining for you, have your looks constantly commented on, and some of you will even use your looks as a weapon cause that’s not obvious sexualization cause you’re all the main characters and protagonists that readers need to know are the protagonists. Nico, Leo, and Frank: You three are originally portrayed as unattractive but at some points are described as cute and two of you are insecure about your looks cause you’re scrawny and chubby and one of you hates yourself cause of your body and only learn to love yourself once you magically gain abs cause more muscle obviously equals more attractiveness.  Luke, Silena, Chris, and Ethan: You four are going to be super attractive because you’re traitors but all of you make up for your actions and decide to help the demigods and become protagonists again. Octavian, Bryce, Michael, Titans, giants, etc.: You all are the antagonists so you have to be super ugly with multiple physical imperfections cause you’re not allowed to be attractive since you are against the protagonists and I have to set you guys apart and show the readers who’s the better and more superior character. 

-Frank hated himself cause he was chubby and only loved himself once he got skinnier and gained muscle through magic but even then was called ‘cute like a panda’.

-Leo was described as scrawny and unattractive and was insecure about being short but even then was called ‘cute in a scrawny way’.

-Piper had facial imperfections and even a pimple on her nose but once she got claimed all of those disappeared and they stayed gone even after the blessing washed off despite all the magic being gone and only then was Piper’s looks commented on multiple times. 

-Lester/Apollo hated his appearance cause he had a little flab and acne and his physical imperfections were used as comedy by making fun of it as if insecure readers don’t exist.

-Percy and Annabeth had one canon physical imperfection- a gray streak in their hair- and that magically washed away.

-None of the other characters were described with any physical imperfections like pimples/zits/acne, body hair (despite none of the characters having the care or time to wax or shave), bushy/frizzy or messy hair or eyebrows, big or small hands or noses, blackheads, super thick or thin eyebrows, blemishes, birthmarks, scars, stretch marks, braces, lazy eyes, yellow or chipped teeth, eye bags, glasses, moles, dimples, love handles, flab/fat, visible veins, freckles, etc. unless it added to their ‘aesthetic’ despite none of those being bad and saves it only for the antagonists as if ‘physical imperfections’ = ‘evil’. 

Bias:

-Riordan portrayed the Romans as cold, cruel, ruthless, strict, and overall horrible despite them being the more inclusive camp regarding family and godly parents, have multiple families and rules that ensure their camper’s safety, and hold the nicest characters in the series while the Greeks are portrayed as fun, wild, reckless, silly, and cool despite holding the most prejudiced and rude characters, outcasting and ostracizing characters of certain godly parents just for their parentage, stereotype almost every single cabin, and make some campers without siblings live, sleep, and eat alone. 

-Every Greek traitor (Luke, Silena, Ethan, and Chris) were portrayed as powerful, kind, attractive, and awesome and each made up for their actions but each Roman ‘traitor’ (Octavian, Bryce, and Michael, and only one of them are actually a traitor) were portrayed as unattractive, cruel, ambitious, ruthless, and extremely weak and never actually did anything useful.

-The Greeks were part of the Union and the Romans were part of the Confederacy (adding on to Riordan adding racist movements as fun little easter eggs in his stories).

-Four out of seven of the main Seven are Greek.

-There are at least 70+ Greek characters and less than thirty named Romans.

-The Battle of San Francisco Bay was used for the sole purpose to weaken the Romans and make the Greeks seem stronger than them and while the Greeks went through two whole wars, their camp laid almost completely untouched but the moment the Romans are introduced, half their population is wiped?

Romanticization:

-Romanticized Annabeth judo-flipping Percy AKA romanticized physical abuse/harassment (emotions, angriness, feelings of love and affection, ‘they went through a lot together’, etc. do not excuse hitting someone) despite Annabeth knowing where Percy’s Achilles Heel was and not knowing he lost it and flipping him on his back anyways (if Percy didn’t lose the Achilles Heel, Annabeth would’ve killed him).

-Romanticized Leo killing himself to see Calypso again and to take her off her island AKA a romanticized suicide.

-Romanticized Calypso yelling at and insulting Leo and Annabeth insulting and canonically lowering Percy’s self-esteem AKA romanticized verbal abuse/bullying.

-Romanticized Will trying to help Nico through his loneliness and depression as if that can’t be portrayed as someone just wanting to help another person AKA  romanticized mental illness.

-Romanticized every character kissing another character without asking first and without their consent AKA romanticized sexual harassment.

-Romanticized Piper taking advantage over Jason’s amnesia and mental state and jumping onto him despite knowing there might be a girl he couldn’t remember AKA romanticized manipulation.

-Romanticized Piper and Annabeth’s possessive, overly-jealous, and controlling behavior over Jason and Percy (even before they were canonically dating).

-Romanticized Nico being forced to confess his crush on Percy AKA romanticized a forced outing.

Rick Riordan:

-Refused to apologize for his actions even after being called out by people from the groups he was writing inaccurately and stereotyping (Muslim, Jewish, African, First Nation, lesbian, gay, Puerto Rican, etc.) and tried to make himself look like the victim.

-Claimed he was being ‘bullied’ by readers half his age who were just pointing out his books’ racist flaws.

-Showed time and time again that he is not willing to listen to the voices of minorities.

-Clearly didn’t do his research on ethnicities, sexualities, religions, etc. shown by how he got the simplest things wrong.

-Tried to say that he- a straight white man- was right when people of the actual groups he was writing about (gay, First Nation tribes, etc.) were wrong.

-Used excuses like having a ‘headstrong’ and ‘stubborn’ character who wants to ‘show their culture in their own way’ for his stereotypes. No, Riordan, you want to show the culture that way, not Piper. She’s a fictional character, you’re real. Dumbass.

-Literally said ‘Sorry I put feathers in Piper’s hair, I can’t change what I wrote in the past and I didn’t know that sensitive readers existed’ then continued to write feathers in Piper’s hair in the future books. 

The Fandom:

Note: Not to all of the fandom, obviously

-Draws Piper with light skin, light hair, and kaleidoscope eyes with feathers, hippie bands, and beads (yes, it's canon, but you're allowed to change it if it's blatantly racist, and the bead and hippie band thing was created by the fandom and that's also stereotyping).

-Almost always draw Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with light skin and Caucasian traits (props to the few artists who drew them with the right skin tones).

-Draws Hazel with gold eyes, ‘cinnamon’/light brown hair, and an adult body.

-Sexualizes female characters by drawing them in sexy and revealing clothes and giving them all the same exact sexy, slim, and perfect hour-glass shaped bodies.

-Almost never include physical imperfections, muscle, scars, stretch marks, etc. in drawings.

-Fancasts white actors for characters of color and puts actors/faceclaims of white people or people of different ethnicities in the moodboards or aesthetics for characters of color.

-Participates in cultural appropriation by wearing feathers when cosplaying Piper and wearing a hijab when cosplaying Samirah.

-Supports Riordan, tries to defend him, and condones his clearly racist and bigoted actions just cause they ‘like the books’ (if you are straight, white, and/or cishet, I definitely don’t want to see you trying to defend a fifty-five year-old multi-millionaire who is clearly racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic).

-Romanticize physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental illnesses and panic/anxiety attacks, etc.

-Ship pedophilic, manipulative, abusive, and wrong relationships.

-Barely allow others to have their own opinions (looking at you Perachel haters) without yelling at, insulting, cursing out, and/or even threatening them for liking or disliking different things than them including ships, characters, books, plots/faults, and Riordan himself.

-Straightwashes characters like shipping Nico with female characters or setting him up with a female character in fanfics.

-Whitewashes characters like drawing Hazel and Piper with eurocentric features, Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with white skin and Caucasian traits, Nico with white/pale skin, etc.

-Try to excuse and explain abusive, manipulative, possessive, and overall very wrong and toxic behavior.

-Fail to recognize and/or admit the toxic, racist, homophobic, sexist, transphobic, wrong, abusive, etc. faults in the books, ships, and characters just cause they like them.

The Percy Jackson franchise does not add good representation. You can still like the series as long as you don’t condone Riordan’s racist and toxic writing and actions and don’t try to ignore the horrible and stereotypical faults just cause you don’t want to admit that your favorite or childhood story is horrible. 

[biot08]

It’s 0500 while I’m typing this, and you all need to know my opinions about SuperGiant games.

Bastion: Overhead isometric action adventure. Cute main protag. I liked the weapon variety. Has some of the best narration in gaming history. Like, whew, that man’s voice. I love the worldbuilding. It has a good soundtrack (they all have good soundtracks), but of them all, it’s the one I like least. Good first entry, and the beginning of something truly excellent. Transistor: Overhead isometric action adventure with an interesting sort of RPG-light advancement system and a game mechanic gimmick that I think it doesn’t -quite- pull off. This is so far into my aesthetic that it set up camp in my soul almost immediately and still lives there. Same narrator, but this time, he’s clueless rather than knowledgeable and wise. Still great narration though, please read a phone book at me some time. Sublime world, wished I could have visited it in the before times in a different context, maybe a cool RPG about the stagnation of society or something. Second most favourite of the soundtracks, the voice gimmick is very flavourful, very... ludonarrative? Pyre: Not sure how to describe this one. Side view sports game? I hate calling it fantasy basketball as I feel that sells it short, but that’s a common description of it. Weirdly far out of my general tastes in art direction and setting, but it does both so well that I love it anyway. Game play is tight and interesting. I like how it treats failure; losing a scenario in the game does not stop it from continuing the story. I also like how it feels sort of like an interactive novel, which is a nice touch of metanarrative. Favourite soundtrack, the last song never fails to cause me to tear up a bit. Also the narrator here is just great. I love him. He’s a jerk. Hades: Of all the entries in the list, this one is the most game. We are back to form, with overhead isometric action. Second most favourite soundtrack. Appreciate the amount and variety of conversations you can have, and how you progress multiple stories throughout the game. Failure is expected here, and happens smoothly while advancing your progress. Let me clarify what I meant when I said this is the most game: this is, seriously, one of the most tightly tuned gaming experiences I have ever had. It feels like almost anyone could get good at this game with enough time. It feels like it teaches the player very well, and that it won’t take long for a player to tune their own difficulty curve for their own gameplay style and preferences even without actively trying to do so. It’s a rogue like, so your runs are semi-randomized and levels are procedurally generated, but even a ‘bad’ run goes quick, allowing you to rapidly iterate and try again. This has just absolutely spoiled me for other games. The narrator here is good, but less involved than the ones in the other games. Your main character sometimes responds to him though, and that’s usually amusing. How to make a super giant game: Colorful and very internally consistent art direction. Banging soundtrack. Narrator as an important part of the experience. Tragedy, but temper it with hope and humanity. My cat’s at my arm purring. I’m going back to sleep.

[taketheringtolohac]

i’ve been working on the most self indulgent au for about a week now and I thought i’d share my thoughts. now presenting... my ace attorney blaseball au! including teams, positions, modifications and more about all the ace attorney characters i could think of and how they would play blaseball. you can also find it on ao3 here, but ive included all the information i have below the cut!

Blase Attorney (Blaseball Ace Attorney AU)

Phoenix- 

Team: Yellowstone Magic

Position: Batter

Modifications: Seeker

Details: one of the first replacements in the game, he was originally just a blaseball fan who was following around miles edgeworth his childhood friend to his games (disguised as him going to see Larry play) and sort of wished that he could play so he could get closer to miles and is at a magic/steaks game that miles is pitching when someone gets incinerated and suddenly he’s on the field in a jersey with a glove and that really messes him up, he's a pretty good player not a star player but definitely a solid one, gets the seeker mod in the season 19 tarot reading

Notable Forbidden Knowledge:  REALLY high martyrdom

Maya

Team: Yellowstone Magic

Position: Batter

Modifications: Haunted

Details: she replaced Mia when she was incinerated and isn’t a season 1 player but has been here so long that it FEELS like she is, isn’t great at the game and has like really bad forbidden knowledge stats but she occasionally hits a surprise dinger and the fans love her so they infuse her and she becomes a serviceable batter, is constantly filled with guilt and emotions about being the person who replaced her sister she gets the haunted mod in an election

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high base thirst, really good divinity that only gets better after her infuse

Edgeworth- 

Team: Dallas Steaks

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: season one player who didn’t really want to join blaseball but he took it in stride and he wasn’t very good at first but he got a blessing that MADE him good and he’s miraculously been on the team the whole time, originally placed in good league because Fran was in Evil and von Karma wanted them to dominate the game and become the best in their respective leagues, still one of the best players in the game, his dad still dies somehow, refuses to “buy into” the dad bit from the steaks and insists that he was just placed here

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: EXCEPTIONAL ruthlessness (one of the highest in the game), good other stats as well, just a really solid PITCHING statline, his other stuff isn’t good

Franziska- 

Team: Hades Tigers

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Friend of Crows

Details: season one player who fans LOVE even though she hates everything about the game and the circumstances in which she’s here, she’s a naturally good player but she lets up a lot of home runs, she receives the friend of crows modifier in season 10 much to her dismay, ALMOST pitched a perfect season and then absolutely RUINED it in the last game and it crushed her

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: higher highs than miles but also lower lows, in particular her overpowerment isn’t very good, she is also a more well rounded player and would also be a fine batter (solid thwack)

Gumshoe-

Team: Originally on the LA Unlimited Tacos, then feedbacked to the San Fransisco Lovers

Position: Batter

Modifications: Siphon, Attractor

Details: season one player that is beloved by the fans and he’s decent at the game but he always tries to steal bases but he is so bad at it, he’s the teams siphon but he NEVER drinks blood except to draw a walk, he ends up getting redacted because of consumer attacks and is probably one of the first to do so despite him having QUITE a bit of soul, he becomes Wyatt Gumshoe in the Wyatt Masoning

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: GREAT thwackability, bad everything else which makes for a really interesting player to say the least

Athena- 

Team: Miami Dale

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: POWERFUL ARMS also she is a replacement player she probably becomes a replacement after Simon does and she got into blaseball because of that cute flowers pitcher and now she’s here but she LOVES Miami and she LOVES being bad at the game, she leans really hard into the neon aesthetic

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: good unthwackability and ok ruthlessness, shakespeareanism is her highest stat, would also be a great batter and has really good thwackability and divinity, GREAT vibes

Apollo- 

Team: Mexico City Wild Wings

Position: Batter

Modifications: None

Details: founding member of the wings legal team who’s another replacement player that FEELS like he’s a season 1 player, he isn’t very good in general but REALLY good for the wings and is probably the mvp at some point but like he’s a really inconsistent hitter but when he DOES hit its POWERFUL and he gets a lot of RBI’s 

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: SHOCKINGLY good musclitude and ground friction, GOD awful moxie

Larry- 

Team: Dallas Steaks

Position: Batter

Modifications: None

Details: season one player who is like the teams designated player we beat up on because they’re awful but we love them, gets shadowed in the expansion era because he just wasn’t good anymore and he REFUSED to leave, he is the definition of “YOU CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS,” would always party but his forbidden knowledge is TRASH so it was never worth anything because he’s top ten in the league for career strikeouts

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: REALLY HIGH PATHETICISM HOLY SHIT but good ground friction and like, ok musclitude

Ema- 

Team: Kansas City Breath Mints

Position: Batter

Modifications: Fire Eater

Details: replaced the first player incinerated on the team so she has a lot of fans because she’s been here a while but like also her career is forever impacted by the fact that people mourned so deeply before really appreciating her and a lot of fans can never really love her in the same way, but she has fire eater now and WILL cut a bitch down to size, she’s also definitely been attacked by consumers though, she also parties a LOT

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: good defender, high omniscience and tenaciousness

Lang- 

Team: Houston Spies

Position: Batter

Modifications: Maximalist, Siphon

Details: replaced a SUPER popular player who was REALLY good at the game and struggled with a lot of the implications of their legacy but he ALSO became really good and a really iconic player to the team and eventually became a fan favorite, LITERALLY cannot stop freaking drinking blood hes so fucking massive now holy shit but like only his baserunning

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: PHENOMENAL baserunning just in general but his base thirst is low so he doesn’t actually steal that much, SUPER high moxie and musclitude

Kristoph-

Team: Baltimore Crabs

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Returned, Debt

Details: season 1 player who was a really aggressively middling player who had deceptively high stars and they could never get rid of him until he finally got incinerated in late season 6/early season 7 but he gets necromancy-d on accident and no one wanted this now he just haunts the league, he joined blaseball to get notoriety and some level of fame and convinced Klavier to join him

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high coldness and ok ruthlessness, unthwackability is fine, shakespeareanism is also good

Klavier- 

Team: Originally on the Crabs, but feedbacked to the Seattle Garages

Position: Batter

Modifications: Spicy

Details: he signed up when Kristoph did. because he said that this would be something good to do as brothers and they even signed to the same team, carcinization really freaked him out but he was a season 1 crab and no one knew what would happen, he Feedbacked in like season 6 and kris got incinerated really shortly after he feedbacked which messed him up, he loves the garages vibes WAY more than he liked the crabs

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high moxie and indulgence

Kay- 

Team: Charleston Shoe Thieves

Position: Batter

Modifications: Flippers

Details: shoe thieves, batter, she was originally a shadows player and just sat there doing great thief things until she got called up for having very sneaky good stats (rod.net style) where she singles a lot and then just steals her way to third/home, voted to trust her in season 11 and now she has cool flippers

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: really high basethirst and laserlikeness, also very high anticapitalism, good thwack subpar musclitude

Sebastian- 

Team: New York Millennials, possible feedback to the Thieves?

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: his dad was a famous blaseball player before the ILB so he signed him up to play and didn’t get on the roster until maybe like season 9, really dramatic arc where he starts out really bad but slowly through incremental stat increases becomes pretty ok but then has a devastating allergic reaction and ends up having to be shadowed because he’s just unsaveable at this point, but still a big fan fave and people still talk about them, he would’ve been a pretty ok batter with really high defense but peanut destroyed that too

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high highs and low lows and vibes are just… there

Juniper-

Team: Boston Flowers

Position: Originally a batter, but reverbs into Pitching

Modifications: None

Details: season 1 player who is really popular amongst the fans but isn’t well known outside of the fanbase she joined blaseball because she didn’t really have a choice and she was just working at the garden, she wasn’t a great batter but she’s a shockingly good pitcher, she had partied so much that she is now just undeniably good solely because she has partied THAT much

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: SHOCKINGLY good ruthlessness, its her only good stat though until parties make her good

Simon- 

Team: Chicago Firefighters

Position: Batter

Modifications: Ego+

Details: another late season replacement that was made to be a edgelord with really good stat set up and he’s a super consistent batter who just also gets walked a lot and has a LOT of thirsty fans, REALLY good at dunking, one of the best idols for solo seeds but ONLY for a SINGLE season because he just underperforms his stars for NO reason and its infuriating, joined because he didn’t want athena to get recruited but she followed him anyways to find out what the hell happened to him and why he just vanished

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: HIGH musc/thwack/martyr with really low patheticism, absolutely ATROCIOUS vibes

Godot- 

Team: Hellmouth Sunbeams, roams to the Tokyo Lift and then to the Canada Moist Talkers

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Roamin’

Details: a season 1 player who would be a MUCH better batter but REFUSES to leave the rotation with deceptively high stars and one of the first players to get roamin’ and actually becomes good because of it infuriating LITERALLY everyone

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: have you seen bright zim? Yeah its just that. He has sixteen fingers for no reason

Trucy- 

Team: Originally a Philadelphia Pies player, but feedbacks to the Yellowstone Magic

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: Phoenix becomes her dad after she feedbacks, later season replacement probably surrounding the s7 instabilities and beanings and she got REALLY popular REALLY fast with the pies fans and over siesta but then she gets traded like the Monday after and it breaks the fans hearts, she’s not very good but she gets alternated into BEING good

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: moxie queen! Also chasiness and continuation, as well as good musclitude and vibes

Nahyuta-

Team: Originally on the Beams, but feedbacks to the Hawai’i Fridays

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Attractor

Details: expansion era player who replaced an absolutely GARBAGE player so the fans are DELIGHTED by him, lets up a lot of walks but has shockingly pitched a no hitter despite only being here since season 13, was infused because of his good forbidden knowledge stats, still gets faxed out of the game because he has games where he just lets up a RIDICULOUS amount of runs, actually fit in really well with the Fridays, was observed (by Kristoph?) and then got redacted 

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: uncle plasma… 2! Also REALLY big vibes range

Justine Courtney-

Team: New York Millennials, traded to the Breckenridge Jazz Hands

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: joined the team before Sebastian probably around season 5, was pretty average at pitching but ate a peanut and had a yummy reaction which made her slightly above average but subpar ruthlessness made her still not great, traded away to the Jazz Hands after Sebastian was shadowed, really polarizing for fans there was a lot of fighting about whether or not to trade her from fans

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: ok ruthlessness

Mia-

Team: Yellowstone Magic

Position: Batter

Modifications: None

Details: was the season 1 stand out batter for the magic, she was a REALLY good season 1 player that fans STILL talk about even though she’s been dead since season 3, she was the person who was standing next to Phoenix when he appeared on the field and caught the ball that was flying towards him before it hit him in the face and she took it upon himself to get him acclimated to the game, she thought of him as a kid brother, she tried to keep Maya away from blaseball but couldn’t stop her from watching on TV, she originally joined to get away from the Fey clan and to try and do something with her life and also possibly find out what happened to her mother and she was promised social power and unlimited access to information

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: really solid statline for someone who never saw any improvements

Phoenix and Miles get together around season 6, right before the Jaylen stuff, then break up because they were both having a lot of emotions about the whole necromancy business and Miles was always on the idol board and there was a lot of uncertainty in their lives. I think a necromancy of Kristoph probably happens in the Expansion Era and he tries to get revenge on Phoenix for god knows what, and Miles ends up getting close with him again after a whole Grand Siesta of just being really emotionally charged friends and finally get together AGAIN in season 13 after a consumer attacks Phoenix, but this time they STAY together and probably get married because they're just so scared of losing each other.

 Kay gets to fight god in season 9, no this probably wouldn't have been possible if she was a shadows player originally but uwu <3

Kay and Miles get to know each other because she tried to steal Miles shoes, but he caught her. He offered to make her dinner and they just had a good time, Kay hadn’t really been shown that kind of kindness in a WHILE and she... missed that sort of father figure in her life... so she just keeps trying to steal things from Miles and getting caught until he finally tells her that she can just... come over through the front door. He will never say that she is his daughter out loud, but the collective dadconcious Knows, and tells him that they are proud of him.

 Maya and Franziska are rivals. They hate each other. When Maya gets 0 no it only makes it worse because it "ruins" Franziska's perfection as a pitcher and forces her to throw balls. They get to know each other over these pitch offs and start to realize that they actually aren't that different. Gay rights. They kiss. They have a great time over the Grand Siesta and make fun of their brothers, but they both have emergency bags in case the other one dies.

 Dahlia Hawthrone would never get involved in Blaseball and everything she does is outside of the game but if she was she'd be on the Boston Flowers and she would be her team's Pudge. A god awful player who on occasion actually does something good and half the fans love her because of her character and half the fans hate her for the same reason and also she sucks at the game.

 Most of them also still have their law degrees and also keep some semblance of what they do in the actual ace attorney games, except Ema who has of course factually failed the bar exam by nature of being on The Breath Mints.

[ziggyzagreus]

do you have a favorite piece of music from the game? what about a favorite level? (tartarus, asphodel, etc.)

OOH this is such a good one!!!

Music is really important to me, as well as one of my favorite parts of the game, so I don’t have a particular favorite, there are so many things I like about each piece. I will list the ones that actually made me stop and listen the first time I heard them, though!!

I also listen to these when I write and study 😳 I have an entire Hades-themed playlist on Spotify that includes the actual OST as well as songs I listen to that make me think of the characters...

Anyways!

The opening title, “No Escape.” The first time I heard it was when I opened the game and I almost crapped myself, it was so cool. Every time I open the game, I always have to wait till 00:08 for that first base line because that shit hits differenttttt at 2 am on weekends which is when I play this game. 10/10 good shit.

“Lament of Orpheus,” the first song we hear Orpheus actually sing... It’s so beautiful, and I’ve always personally loved the actual myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, so hearing that in such a haunting tune tugged at my heartstrings in a particular way. I’ve heard some people find Orpheus’ voice annoying???? But I really love it. It sounds like mist. It’s terrifying in such a heartbreaking way and very fitting for his character.

“From Olympus,” or better known as “that song that plays when you find Patroclus and he’s muttering about his lost husband.” I love the cadence of this piece because it’s very fitting of Patroclus’ vibes - it’s downtrodden, paced and methodical, there’s a tune to living in it, but it lacks any jarring beats that the other tracks have. I feel like it really encapsulates Patroclus’ dead inside vibes and I love that for him tbh. Very mellow, very chill, very soothing in my opinion.

“Good Riddance,” both Eurydice’s solo version as well as the duet with Orpheus. Again, the first time I heard it, I was absolutely stunned that they had like - good songs with lyrics in this game, so I just stood outside her door for 2 minutes to hear the whole thing. Every time I meet Eurydice I stay to listen to her song before going inside. If you guys can’t tell from my Icarus OC Fic, Eurydice is one of my favorite characters because of how motherly and calming she is. I feel so safe in her presence, and that’s not an exaggeration - even IRL I get a sense of peace when hearing her sing. This song is also in my Crying playlist on Spotify, as it hit me in a personal emotional spot as well as a Good OST spot.

“Final Expense” holy shit, Charon’s theme HITS DIFFERENT. It has like - a dual effect on me. On one hand, I get the same feeling from it as I do Eurydice’s song - I feel very safe and content listening to that tune, and I feel very safe in Charon’s shop. This piece is in one of my “so you’re crying about school and need to calm down and feel safe” playlists, it’s just got that wholesome effect on me. But it also makes me want to go fuck around in a Spencer’s store with my friends, or go to an arcade, and I love that too.

“Final Expense (Payback Mix)” AKA Charon Drip. That shit hits so hard. I love it so fucking much and I fucking love fighting Charon in Erebus anywaysssssss

“Hymn to Zagreus,” if you guys can’t tell, I love Orpheus’ voice so much... and I love the legend of Zagreus anyways!! This song is just so fucking cool and brings so much new edge to the story and Zagreus’ origin (as well as his connection to Dionysus like holy heck aahHHHhhhHHhhHh) i love it sooo much

“Last Words” I LOVE THANATOS SO MUCH. The first time I heard his voice I had to put down the game to process how much I loved him, and so I associate his theme very much with that experience. I love the harpsichord in it, and how the theme itself is very different compared to the other tracks - it has a lot more modern instrumentation, as well as just a generally different and more dangerous, energizing vibe to it and I love that so so so so so much.

“The King and the Bull” I don’t have much to say on this except Theseus and Asterius is my favorite boss fight so I just love this track haha

“On the Coast” I just.... I cried the first time I reached the surface and once again, I associate this tune with that experience. And the sunrise and the snow, just... wow. Just wow, you know? Also I can’t tell if that’s an oboe or an English Horn but I think it’s an english horn - either way I love double-reeded instruments. (Or if it’s a soprano sax then good on them, I have so much respect for sop sax players)

“In the Blood” is just.... so good. And Orpheus and Eurydice duetting hits me in the feelings so hard. I also love this song because it brings so much explanation to the game as a whole, like - Zagreus is the fucking life of the Underworld and that has SO many deep connotations that I have pages on pages of headcanons/thoughts written out about... it’s so cool... wow. Just wow, you know? Also that lyric “Run all you like from the place you belong...” is such a haunting line, it just - wow. Wow. WOW.

I realize I just went on a full rant about most of those pieces to the point that I just started typing “wow” to make up for not having words, but music is very very important to me so I think about it way too much... Anywaysssss.

As for your second question, I do have a favorite level!! Elysium!!

Tartarus is really fun for me because it’s not very hard, and I can just smash through all of the chambers... Asphodel is SO irritating because of the magma, and there’s this one chamber that is literally ONLY witches and it has island terrain and the witches always float out over the magma, so you can’t get to them unless you go out there and it’s just SO FRUSTRATING. I love the aesthetic of Asphodel but hate playing it.

And I hate the Temple of Styx just because of stupid poison and stupid rats. It’s just - not my bag. 

Elysium though!!! It’s bright, it’s pretty, it’s super challenging with the levels of foes you face there, and I love seeing Pat and I love fighting Theseus and Asterius!!! I love Elysium so much... ALSO I love seeing my Good Shade!!! Every time!!!! My love....

Thank you so much for the ask, this was super fun!!!!

[alifeincoffeespoons]

a moony has spawned in the server, chapter twelve

r/collegeadmissions Posted by u/aglowingpinknight 9 hours ago | 3.2k points

Good luck to everyone who has decisions coming out this Friday and Saturday!

Stanford, MIT, Caltech, Johns Hopkins, Amherst, Bowdoin, Rice, Williams, Wellesley, Wesleyan...this weekend’s gonna be a doozy. Good luck to everyone who applied! I believe in you!

----

“Have I ever told you about my problem with pomegranate?” Sirius asks, chewing on the end of a pen. Today, he’s clad in an oversized blue t-shirt and ratty pajama pants. Somehow, he still manages to look perfect.

“Like, the fruit?” Remus replies, furrowing his brow. “I mean, it’s not that good, and the seeds inside are kind of annoying, but I don’t hate it or anything.”

“No, the movie Pomegranate,” Sirius explains. “You know, the one that won a ton of awards at the Oscars and everything?”

“Haven’t heard of it.” Yes, Remus knows that he’s woefully unaware of pop culture, and no, there isn’t really anything he can or wants to do to change that.

“Okay, so it’s this modern adaptation of the myth of Hades and Persephone, except Hades is a girl named Haley and Persephone’s mom’s name is Denise,” Sirius says. “So actually, it’s not really like the myth of Hades and Persephone at all, besides the fact that the main character’s name is Persephone and the director really likes the aesthetic of pomegranates.”

“That’s interesting?”

“I mean, the aesthetic is gorgeous, and the plot is honestly solid, but the ending—I just can’t deal with the ending. Basically, the main conflict in the movie is between Persephone and Denise, because Persephone is a high schooler who realizes that she’s a lesbian and she and her mother live in a small, incredibly conservative town in rural Nebraska.”

Remus winces, reminded of every poorly written episode of Glee. “Please don’t tell me it’s some stereotype-ridden mess.”

“I mean, given how the myth actually goes, it’s surprising that it isn’t. The love story between Persephone and Haley is super wholesome and not unhealthy at all, and Magenta Comstock—that’s the director—actually made an effort to cast queer actors in queer roles,” Sirius replies. “The problem I have with it is Denise.”

“Oh?”

“Denise is just a terrible character. She’s supposed to just be supportive and a little bit overbearing, but it doesn’t come off that way,” Sirius says. “Like, she monitors Persephone’s phone, constantly belittles her, and when she finds out that Persephone is gay, she literally stops speaking to her completely for months. Total silent treatment.”

“That just seems like abuse,” Remus says, raising his eyebrows.

“I mean, I don’t know if I’d go as far as to—”

“It’s abuse,” Remus says, more firmly this time. “That’s controlling, cruel, and abusive.”

Sirius shrugs weakly. “I guess. I don’t know. But anyway, in the end, Persephone keeps dating Haley, goes off to college, gets super into the queer scene at Tufts, and on Christmas Eve, decides to finally call her mom again. And it’s not shown, but it’s implied that Persephone forgives her mom and they make plans to reconcile. And I don’t know, but something about that—it just didn’t sit right with me, you know? And I’m not sure why. It just didn’t.”

“Because Denise was abusive, and it didn’t feel authentic or justifiable for her and Persephone to reconcile in the end?” Remus supplies.

“Maybe. I just hated how the movie also made it seem like it was both Persephone and Denise’s fault for their relationship being bad, you know? Like, sure, maybe Persephone was ‘immature,’ but Denise was just mean. I just—I didn’t like it.”

“And that’s very, very valid,” Remus replies. “That sounds like a terrible way for the movie to end. Well, given that I haven’t seen it and all, of course.”

“I’m glad to hear that I’m not insane for not liking the ending,” Sirius says, a small smile spreading across his face. “Anyway, I think it might also be because of the setting I’m watching it in, you know? I mean, we’re watching it in class, and that never ends well.”

“In class?”

“Yeah, in ‘The Persistence of Mythology.’ It’s my social science senior seminar.”

“Social science senior seminar?” Remus echoes.

“Boarding school,” Sirius says, rolling his eyes. “It’s a cool class, though—we talk about the ways myths have been interpreted in the past and discuss adaptations of them today. Professor Sprout’s super chill, and we don’t really get that much homework either. The real problem is that you just can’t have a good time watching a movie when half the straight guys wolf-whistle every time Persephone and Haley even look at each other.”

“God.” Remus doesn’t enjoy his own history class very much—let’s just say that his interest in learning about the Smoot-Hawley Tariff is minimal at best—but at least he doesn’t have to be subjected to that.

“So yeah, fun times. I mean, I like class still, usually. It’s just that James is also, like, super depressed right now because the girl he really likes turned him down, so we can’t even make fun of those guys together,” Sirius says, grimacing. “It’s been a rough go of it.”

“His crush turned him down?” Remus asks, widening his eyes and trying his best to sound surprised.

“Yeah. They were doing some prefect patrol thing together, he asked her out, and she said no. He’s basically been down ever since,” Sirius replies. “I mean, when I say he’s depressed, he’s seriously depressed. He barely leaves the room except for, like, lacrosse practice and prefect stuff, spends all his time in bed listening to Phoebe Bridgers and Joji, and the other day, he asked me if he was a bad person.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. I think it’s mostly because the girl he likes used to date this complete asshole James and I call Snivelly—I think I’ve probably told you about him before—and when I say he’s an asshole, I mean he’s only about 2% less of an asshole than Evan, which doesn’t mean anything at all. Now, because Snivelly’s an asshole, James has decided that this means he must be a worse person than Snivelly, since why else would this girl turn him down?” Sirius lets out a deep sigh. “So that’s where we’re at. Very not fun.”

read more on ao3! 

[radramblog]

Ninty Direct Feb 2021 Thoughts

That was uh. Kind of disappointing, actually.

I suppose it was inevitable that we weren’t seeing Pokemon since they’re gonna do their own announcement. But like. Coulda done better here.

(oh no you’re now introduced to my awful awful handwriting, is this better or worse than my cursed interests? you decide)

Anyway I wrote down everything they announced so here we go

Pyra/Mythra in Smash: I don’t give a single shit about the Xenoblade series, but it’s one of like 2 IPs Nintendo has had in the last decade so sure whatever they can have second a character as a treat. I’m mostly just annoyed this wasn’t a third-party character.

Fall Guys Switch: This feels inevitable. It also feels about 5 months too late.

Outer Wilds Switch: I’ve heard some absolutely excellent things about this game, so fair enough. I’m not sure I’d buy it on the Switch, but I haven’t bought it at all yet, so.

Famicom Detective Club: This looks like a Ren’py game if it had an actual budget, but still used Ren’py for some reason. Prooobably not biting on this one chief.

Samurai Warriors 5: The only Warriors game I’ve played is the first hyrule warriors, and the only Nobunaga game I’ve played was Pokemon Conquest (it’s a trip), so. I don’t understand the obsession they have over there for this bloke, like imagine if Australia made like a tv series a year and a large handful of video games about Ned Kelly or something.

Legend of Mana: Shit I should go play Octopath Traveler huh

Monster Hunter Rise: Those monster designs looked pretty kickass, and those human designs made me crack up laughing. I’ve never played Monster Hunter, and I don’t think this is gonna change that.

Mario Golf: Hey look they confirmed Waluigi as playable ahead of time so people wouldn’t complain, good job guys. The multiplayer of this looked silly as hell, but I’m not spending 80 bucks on wii sports tennis for a multiplayer mode ill drag my mates to play all of once before we go back to playing Beetle Adventure Racing.

Tales from the Borderlands: Wait telltale is still around? Ok…? I haven’t played Borderlands and don’t really care for the Telltale style so nah

Capcom Arcade Stadium: They could have made a peripheral like the NES/SNES mini, but they didn’t, and it’s for the best. The fact that one of the games is free implies to me that the rest are going to be overcosted, though.

Stubbs the Zombie: What the fuck am I looking at. Apparently this is a remaster of an old Xbox game, but I’ve never heard of it. Weird as fuck, but sure.

No More Heroes III: No more Heroes is a franchise that I’ve never played, but always wanted to. It seems right up my alley aesthetic-wise, and the gameplay looks pretty solid too- probably gonna try one of the older ones first, though.

Neon White: Speaking of aesthetic. This looks anime as fuck and edgy in a good way, and the gameplay looks real fun. I actually really want to check this out, and no, it’s not just because of the skull masked goth gf on the cover. (Doesn’t hurt, though.)

DC Super Hero Girls Teen Power: Jesus, this looks like a bad tie-in game from the mid 2000s. Not like Battle for Bikini Bottom, more like a Jimmy Neutron. And while I really liked the Jimmy Neutron game as a kid (shame about the show), this doesn’t look like it’ll stand up to that…high bar. Listening to this trailer made me want to die a little bit inside.

Plants Vs Zombies: Battle for Neighbourville: I miss PopCap. Peggle 3, never.

Miitopia: This looks cute, and will probably lead to the same sort of 3am DMs that happened with Tomodachi Life. If it’s a full priced game, it probably won’t sell at all.

Animal Crossing New Horizons Mario items: uhhh sure. Don’t have that game, so.

Triangle Strategy: Aww fuck it’s a final fantasy tactics that looks like octopath and it might have an actually good story, shiiiiiiiiit. I’m gonna give the demo a try before I land on this, but I’m optimistic.

Star Wars Hunters: When was the last time we had an actually good Star Wars game? And don’t say Fallen Order. Yeah, didn’t think so.

KO City: Ah, the bottom of the barrel. Didn’t think it would take this long. At this point, the pseudo-cartoony style everything has because they’re trying to ape Fortnite is extremely grating on me. (I definitely thought this ad was for Fortnite stuff at first)

World’s End Club: OK this one has me actually hyped. I knew that Kodaka (director/writer of the Danganronpa series) and Uchikoshi (director/writer of the Zero Escape series) were working on a joint project, and we’re finally seeing the results. Both of them have multiple excellent games under their respective belts, and this new game looks like a fun spin on what I’m sure a lot of people were expecting from the pair. Literally both of them have made a game where (spoilers I guess, Keara stop reading here you haven’t played VLR yet) there’s a death game going on while the characters are unaware the world fucking ended, so to see the idea of the death game getting interrupted and the characters actually having to live in the dead world is really cool. I’m paying cloooose attention to this one.

Hades (Physical Release): Dang now if I buy hades I can choose to have some of my money go to EB games or JB hifi or something. Cooooooooooooool.

Ninja Gaiden Collection: This just made me wonder why Ryu Hayabusa isn’t in Smash yet. Is it because there’s already a Ryu?

Age of Calamity DLC: I don’t think I mentioned this in my post yesterday, but I would have put money on DLC for this game coming out. I still haven’t played it, but the first Hyrule Warriors had so much fucking DLC so this was inevitable in my eyes.

Bravely Default 2: Uhhh its another JRPG man idk what you want me to say. Didn’t play the first one, apparently its good.

Ghosts n Goblins Resurrection: Kinda funny having this next to the free original in the Capcom Arcade Stadium. Capcom is reviving old franchises, I guess? Where’s Mega Man Battle Network, cowards?

SaGa Frontier: I’ve heard good things about the SaGa series, but this looks awful. Not like gameplay wise, the style for the models and shit in game just disinterests me.

Apex Legends: Is anyone still playing this game?

BOTW 2 (no news): I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Next Direct, I guess.

Skyward Sword HD: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Seriously though, I was expecting 3 of the best Zeldas ever made to get ports, and we got the one that I wasn’t interested in. Fuck you too, I guess.

Splatoon 3: I actually was super interested in this, seeing as the trailer looked like it was gonna be for some like… side game, 3D RPG or something, exploring the origins of the Splatoon world? But then it’s just Splatoon 3. And like, I know people really like that series, but it never appealed to me. The world is neat! But I’m not interested in the series as it is.

And that’s the tea.

ADDENDUM:

shit that’s this weekend? huh ok -New Hearthstone expansions revealed, kinda like WOTC does with magic every so often, just like “here’s the next couple sets btw”. Since they do nothing but plagiarise off each other and MTG is having a set based on another WOTC property this year (D&D), there’s going to be a Starcraft set. -Diablo 4 release date that will not be stuck to since COVID is still a thing -people are hoping for starcraft 3. Blizzard to announce Starcraft 2 Episode 1. -New WoW expansion announced, determined objectively to be “worst ever” before trailer is even finished

[mckinlily]

tagged by @void-tiger (thanks for the tag <3)

roses or daisies:

uh...both? Idk, I’m kind of a wildflower or at least variety kind of girl. Mixing big flowers with little flowers and other florist type stuff? Go for it. My team at work got me flowers when I had surgery last year, and they were really cool and sort of autumn-y but I know nothing about flowers so I have no idea what they were.

classical or lofi:

uhhhhhh...so I had no idea that lofi was a thing until just now. I know enough about classical music to appreciate it as an art form, but honestly my taste in music is super basic and just...bad. Music for me is mostly just background stimulation so I can focus on something else, so super predictable, all sounds the same pop music? Exactly what I’m here for. Won’t distract me.

sunrises or sunsets:

Sunsets. Does anyone really like sunrises better who isn’t trying to hard? (don’t answer that, I think I have members of my own family who do). But I love the spontaneity of a good sunset. Being able to just glance out the window and see a wonder of nature while you’re cooking dinner or whatever is great. Also sunsets are warmer.

honey or lemon:

Honey. It’s just so pretty and a unique color and watching it drip down all viscus and smooth...

coffee or tea:

I actually don’t drink coffee, so this is a pretty obvious tea. But I especially like herbal teas in the winter because they’re hot and just holding the mug is comforting and warms your up, but they don’t have all the sugar and richness of hot chocolate so they feel refreshing too.

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers:

Seeing as my favorite ship dynamic is “1000% committed to each other forever and no matter what + Mutual Awe/Respect” and THEN a dose of “Wait, what, you like me back????” I am definitely a friends to lovers girl. Honestly, stories that skip of the establishing deep friendship part often just feel off to me.

I don’t really like enemies to lovers if they’re actual enemies. But like, mutual irritants to lovers? “I started out annoyed with you but now we’ve gotten to know each other and oh crap, I think I have a crush”? THAT I can get behind.

rainy days or sunny days:

Sunny for sure. I don’t like when the sky feels too close and confining when it’s raining. And I just need the sunlight to feel like...awake and like a human haha. But I do like a big, powerful thunderstorm with warm rain. Unfortunately, we don’t get those where I live now. Just cold rain storms that feel like spikes of ice.

jupiter or mars:

SATURN. This answer is informed entirely by 3 year old me who read a “our solar system” book and immediately started making up fanfic about it  got really into the solar system and cemented Saturn as my favorite planet. I was really angry as a 3 year old that Jupiter beat out Saturn as the biggest planet, so Jupiter is forever on my “bad” list. And Mars is just dry and boring. No, I have not updated my opinions since I was 3 years old.

aphrodite or athena:

Athena, obvs. Most my life, my goal has been 1) be the smartest person in the room and 2) know EVERYTHING. I’ve only recently learned the value of say...be kind. Which is actually FAR more important, but I still really like knowledge and learning everything I can.

Also, I love pretty and beautiful things, but sex and romantic love aren’t really my thing haha

rome or greece:

I’ve always gravitated a bit more towards Greece. Rome feels just too bureaucratic and “rigorous engineering” to me. I like the more open ended science-y and artsy vibe of Greece. But then, I’m a woman so I’d probably hate actually being in either ancient society. Instead I’ll just study it from a nice, safe, several centuries distance.

sun or moon:

Oooo, both are good but probably the sun. It has so much COLOR to it and so many interesting properties and mysteries (How is the corona so hot? What exactly cause sun spots? What’s up with the magnetic field). And like again...COLOR. Did you know that the element helium is named about helios because it was first discovered as mysterious lines in the spectrum of the sun. We didn’t find helium on earth until much later. Spectroscopy is awesome.

1920s or 1990s:

well I existed in the 1990s, so clearly that makes the 90s much better. Also, I never quite got what was the appeal and glamour of the 1920s. I will say the 20s fashion is better than the 90s fashion so there is that.

blizzard or thunderstorm:

Oh boy. So blizzards SOUND cool, but then it’s cold and I think about having to DRIVE in the blizzard because this is Colorado and what, you think we’re going to close for a silly little thing like snow? The after effects of the blizzard, when it gets all quite like it only can when there’s lots of snow, and the streets have cleared off enough but most the snow is still untouched? That is much better. And sorta magical. Although still cold.

I...think I like thunderstorms. I did as a kid, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen a good one. Also high winds freak me out now, which is new. Idk why.

midnight memories or made in the am:

[googles] Ooooooh, so these are One Direction albums? Uh....I’m trying to think of what One Direction songs I like, but I’m only thinking of That’s What Makes You Beautiful which kinda annoys me these days so idk

sage green or vanilla white:

...are these more albums? Screw it, sage green. Although not my favorite shade of green, it is my second favorite color so there.

folklore or lover:

Like the Taylor Swift albums, right? Honestly, for a while I couldn’t get into lover, but I listened to folklore for like a month straight. betty made me literally stop the car to listen because “wait. is this about what I think it is??? is it?????” I also really like cardigan, and I listened to seven on repeat for weeks.

But I recently--like just two weeks ago--started to listen to lover, and I like it too. The Man is just on POINT. I like the miss americana song and nice to have a friend. 

Really, it just depends on the mood. Lover is more peppy and bubbly, and folklore is more low key, almost melancholy, and little waves lapping at the beach.

told you my taste is basic

croissant or macaroon:

Croissant. I like the idea of macaroons, but I haven’t really loved them in practice. On the other hand, flaky conduit for butter and carbs?? Sign me up!

ballgowns or pantsuits:

I would LOVE a ballgown if I had a place to wear it to. Why do we have fancy things to dress up for anymore? I want swishy and curvy and soft fabric and jewels.... 

I can not honestly see myself ever wearing a pantsuit.

hades or zeus:

I’m pretty hooked on Lore of Olympus right now, so Hades. But then, even in the source material, all the gods are jerks but Zeus makes them look like model citizens, so definitely Hades. 

platonic love or sensual love:

[squints] “sensual love...” is this an allo thing??

Ahem. Platonic love. Emotional connection. That’s what I’m all about. I want it SO BAD and to see it portrayed in deep, loving detail in movies and books ALL THE TIME. Also, theoretically I like the idea of like cuddling and hugs, but some of my family really HATE it, so I find it hard to be touching someone and not worry they’re hating it or that I’m invading their space.

light academy or cottagecore:

I....what? I have no idea what this is. Is this a home aesthetic?

Fun fact: despite considering myself a fairly artistic person, I SUCK at interior design. I try and I don’t know what it is, but I am SO BAD at it. If someone could decorate my room/house to look better than if a 9 year old went at it, I would so grateful and it would a VAST improvement. 

please help me

[newtshairdryer]

Thoughts on Descendants 3 as I watch it for the 8th time and pause to look at everybody all the time

- When Ben and Mal are walking out before the proposal, Audrey is slow clapping and it’s hilarious

-Chad seems genuinely happy to see them together but Audrey rains on his parade

-Please look at Chad’s face to the side after Ben gets on his knee his overdramatic gaping mouth is SENDING ME

-Why do they make Belle and the Beast kiss beside each other’s cheeks like a french greeting? For real though they’re Belle and the Beast...they should be kissing in celebration .-.

-Right after the Carlos/Beast chest bump there’s an extra in the background of Bal just having a blast popping bubbles

-Speaking of the bubbles I have no clue where they’re coming from

- Dude in the background when Audrey says ”What is wrong with you people?” bein shady AF to her

-That one girl in the wheelchair that has been in every single movie needs a name cause we all just refer to her as that one girl in the wheelchair lol

-Mal has her own purple fucking limo and she’s not even royalty yet

-Their money is so vibrantly coloured

-Those cards Celia fan out are definitely, well, a fan. They’re all attached- she’s not even holding onto some of them lol

-Mal resting her chin on Ben’s shoulder to watch him and Celia in the limo. soft

-The scenes in the limo make Ben look really big and awkward because they’re all shoved into a small space and he’s in the middle where the smallest person usually goes...but he’s the biggest person XD

-The barrier takes forever to close and there are a ton of people right there, why has no one attempted to just jump through it yet lol

-What if Hades put his hand through the barrier and it just like...cut it off LMFAO now THAT would have been entertaining 

-Hades literally makes himself roll one more time as he’s pushed back. Like there’s no more momentum and you can see he should stop but he makes himself do another somersault and it’s so obvious lol

-I know it’s been said before but the lack of security in the museum is just lazy AF writing. They didn’t even try to make it realistic it’s way too easy to just waltz in and take anything. Apparently the wand is the only thing worthy of an alarm

-Also why is there not even glass around the scepter to even attempt to discourage people from taking it? Even when the museum is OPEN someone could yank it out and start spelling shit up.

-Ben’s phone rings and he hangs it up less than a second after he picked it up- it doesn’t even show him barely looking at it. How on earth did he have time to see a message about the stolen items- let alone the fact it was a phone call ring...not a text ping

- OK WAIT IF UMA IS ON THE LOOSE AND HE TALKED ABOUT BETTER SECURITY SERIOUSLY WHY ON EARTH IS THE MUSEUM SECURITY SO NON EXISTENT??? IN BOTH THE FIRST MOVIE AND THIS ONE THEIR LACK OF SECURITY IS SUCH A GLARINGLY OBVIOUS THING WHY IS IT NON EXISTENT IT MAKES NO SENSE

-Why are the former King and Queen of Auradon and the current reigning King turning to the not yet Queen for all the advice about evil like it’s her responsibility. They don’t even attempt to brainstorm the vast amount of other ideas. And why on earth can’t she just suggest uh...literal guards by the barrier when it opens for them? Like if they paid people on the isle to guard the barrier so other isle people didn’t try to get out it would help a ton. There are so many other solutions other than closing the barrier completely (and then getting rid of it completely??)

-Does anyone else notice that like...50% of Ben’s screen time is him staring in shock/disbelief at things with literally no other expression for entire scenes? Cause I noticed it the first time around

-My favourite outfit in this whole movie for Mal is this light purple dress she has on when talking about closing the barrier for the first time with Ben’s parents and Evie. She is SO GORGEOUS in it. I’m actually not a fan of the leather suit she wears for the rest of the movie cause I don’t feel it fits with her hairstyle- mainly once it starts to go blue

-I just realized Mal’s hair literally goes from pretty much just purple to lots of blue mixed in. I guess it’s cool cause it’s like she gets power from the ember but I honestly prefer her brighter purple hair. My favourite hairstyle was her bangs she looked like an actual goddess in the 2nd movie

-I think everyone was thinking Dude got into Jane’s cake (despite the very neatly cut corner)

-I honestly love Mal’s face when Audrey shows up with the crown and scepter and her whole new gettup like “What on earth is this chick doing”

-I reiterate “what on earth is this chick doing” as Audrey goes to...sniff? the scepter?

-I wAnT tO bE dAnGeRoUS

-Audrey through a cupcake on the ground. So evil

-Honestly I’m sorry but Audrey talking all angsty to the people at Jane’s party is really cringey. Her lines are just...hhhhhhhhh (you mindless little drones in particular just seems weird the way she says it)

-How on earth does Audrey not see Jane get in the lake...she’s literally right there in full view

-OK so not ALL magic doesn’t work on the Isle, according to Celia only evil magic doesn’t work- so yes Maleficent is still a lizard cause Mal’s spell wasn’t an evil one

-Even with her massive platform shoes Mal is so much shorter than Hades she is yelling at him but having to look way up she’s adorable

- Hades “LET’S DANCE” - proceeds to shake a tambourine, slap his butt with it and stick his tongue out. ok then

-Why did I never notice Mal shake the tambourine at him angrily and then throw it lmao

-WHERE IS THE WIND COMING FROM IN THIS SONG (I will touch back on random wind that shouldn’t be there later on too)

-Mal should say thank you for the ember...imo

-”If it gets wet it’s game over” thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s what she said

-Mal’s walking away from Haes up those stairs? That booty thicc (only thing I really like about that outfit) 

-Girl has a zipper down her butt. She can unzip her ass cheeks

-I’m glad the jewelry in this movie is no longer plastic like Ben’s ring and his burger king crown

-“You’ll what? Marry them?” OK I am not a big fan of the plot or Audrey’s temper tantrum but  if that isn’t the best fucking burn in this whole franchise then idk what is

-gUYS CELIA IS NOT THE ACTRESS SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE IN AN ENTIRE MAIN SHOT??? WTF? HOW HAS NO ONE POINTED THIS OUT?? SHE’S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON WHEN THEY’RE WALKING OUT OF THE GATE TOWARDS THE BARRIER ON THE ISLE AND THEN THE NEXT SHOT IT’S BACK TO THE PROPER ACTRESS. BUT IT’S VERY OBVIOUS

-I AM GAY AS SHIT FOR UMA OK SHE IS ABSOLUTE PEAK AESTHETIC AND I WOULD LET HER CHOKE ME WITH HER BRAIDS 

-I deserve some compensation for my muscles...what does that even mean???

-Are we suppose to know who Hannah is?

-”Says you and that’s suppose to mean someth’n to me?” Ok maybe I’m just a flaming bisexual for Uma but why was that line delivery so smooth

-Audrey is abusing Chad. She threw a glass bowl at him and is literally shoving him around and yelling at him while accusing him of knowing things and not telling her. And it’s played for laughs. Descendants you have a lot of good things that are socially woke but this ain’t it man. Chad may have been a douche but he doesn’t deserve abuse. (rhyme oof)

- Why is Dude advertising that he gives great cuddles? Who is that directed at? Why is that line in there? Alright then

-How is Uma the only one that noticed the massive scratches on the wall and the literal painting slashed in half

-Mkay we get it Audrey you’re evil thanks for the random laugh

-The knight in front of them literally clanged as it moved and it’s RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM how did nobody but Harry see it move. This entire movie is me asking why something happened because honestly so much of it just doesn’t make sense but I still love the movie lmao

-Out numbered 1 to 50? How did this girl graduate lol

-I still say What The Fuck Is Happening every time Mal makes the Knights dance. It’s just the most random, out of the blue thing to do

-Mal literally licks her lip and gives Evie the most sultry look as Evie dips down and is singing the end of Night Falls. I’m not a Mevie shipper but it’s the most bedroom eyes I’ve ever seen

-Evie is an absolute ray of sunshine and deserves all the things

-Harry is genuinely flattered at Evie’s compliment about his accent he starts to smile. Dude acts like a complete player and then gets happy when someone gives him a genuine compliment lol

-Jay and Gil are adorable

-Gil is just adorable on his own

-Doug is in way too comfortable of a position to not have already been on the ground sleeping/resting. Which begs the question of why he was just on the ground sleeping like that

-Doug’s long hair and ponytail and complete lack of style are some of my biggest pet peeves in this movie. He doesn’t just look out of place next to Evie, but next to literally everyone else. He looked pretty good in the last two, why such a drastic change that literally nobody asked for or wanted lol

-I seriously can’t take Evie and Doug seriously in this movie just because of his hair. It’s just so unattractive I’m sorry not sorry

- I do enjoy the sense of urgency and time that the movie has as Mal tries to keep moving. Uma and her being like “just kiss him already” is fun

-They could have shot Audrey looking at them through the scepter in a different way...the way it’s just the same close up shot every time she’s looking at it with her hair blowing in the non-existent wind just adds to how cheesy her whole performance is (not her fault, director and writers fault)

-Mal should have kissed Ben when they reunited. 0 reason not to. She was super worried about him and finally reunited with him and she also LOOKED like she wanted to kiss him. Girl was super into that beard. 

-Leave some room for Jesus lmao 

-I’m just bitter cause the only kiss we get this whole movie is from kinda far away and is short. We’ve also never seen them share a sweet kiss in private- they’re always on display....maybe it’s a kink lol

-Ben and Mal holding hands while trying to sneak around <3

-Sophia’s acting when Evie is upset is on point. This whole scene is one of the only really good ones where everyone is rightfully upset with Mal. 

-Mal has had to sing about her feelings in every movie lmao

-Why...does the dragon look like it has a low frame rate? It looks choppy

-Audrey just, once again, doesn’t look menacing. She’s just like...waving a stick around and making mean faces

-”I owe you an apology” says everyone but...no one actually says “I’m sorry” lol

- Ben is just “aw yiss speak human rights to me baby” at Mal during the engagement party

- Beast: “We can’t do that.” I AGREE

-Taking the barrier down with no screening for the villains is a bad bad bad bad idea but it’s a happy disney universe so everything is fine - ugh

-UNSAFE BRIDGE!!1!!1 I’m waiting for someone to fall off- just once, please

-Mal and Uma jumping up and down when they kmeetis the cutest fucking thing on earth

-Ben needs a different thing to dance in, his suit is so stiff

-Harry and Audrey? Hmmmm I’m not opposed but I’m also not feelin it

-Were those people just...waiting there with an already built dragon?

-Ben likes to hip thrust in every movie, no lie

[the-ipre]

I know I just sent in a fic request (which was so wonderul I love the twins bonding and the descriptions of Barry ahslkj thank you so much!!!) but I really love your take on blupjeans and its my favorite ship SO for the headcanon meme, do you have some for a blupjeans persephone/hades au? If the inspiration doesn't strike you don't worry about it, but if it does!! I'd love to hear what you'd come up with!

thank you! i love getting requests and a persephone/hades au is *chefs kiss* Tastey

- Barry isn’t the god of death, he’s the god of dead people, and despite his spooky aesthetic there’s actually a fair amount of paperwork involved. On one trip up to the land of the living to see the site of a recent necromantic ritual (it’s for research, he tells Kravitz, the actual god of death, and it was getting so stuffy in my office, the groaning of the dead outside my window makes it hard to concentrate), he gets sidetracked by a strange sense of something. He follows the sound of laughter to its source and finds a beautiful elf woman standing in the middle of a field, hands flung wide as she pulls her fingers up and through the air. The flowers are tall and lean in towards her, and theres a strange warmth buzzing around.

- Lup is the goddess of growth and new life, and sometimes she takes a “death has to come before rebirth” standpoint to her job. (Sometimes actually ends up being more like all of the time.) One day, when she and her brother Taako (god of change and adaptation) are out spreading the good word, they split up and she takes it upon herself to help a downtrodden patch of grass reach its full potential. When she looks up from a job well done, though, she finds a dude with dramatic black robes and blocky glasses looking at her with about the amount of awe that she’s used to.

- At first she’s a bit wary (what, can’t a girl perform magic rituals in peace around here?), but the two get to talking, which turns to topics like death and life and Barry’s dog, and through a series of shenanigans he invites her back to his place without her realizing that “his place” is the actual Underworld. Lup can’t say she isn’t a bit surprised at where she finds herself, but it’s interesting to take a look at the whole life-death-rebirth cycle from a different stage. They do seem pretty clogged up in the death stage, though, and so she ends up staying a bit longer than initially planned in trying to streamline the system. Besides, there’s a handsome man with a cool undead dog there, and he gets her in a way that most anybody else wouldn’t. Perks of being a deity involved with death is that you aren’t the most relatable at parties, it would appear, but he understands the responsibility and want to do good that burns inside her. He’s funny, too, and smart and clever and bizzare and kind, which are all a bonus.

- Meanwhile, up on the surface world, Taako’s sister is gone, which he isn’t exactly jazzed about. Things start stagnating and dying without any new growth, and while he doesn’t super care about the mortals that it affects, he wants Lup back. Thus, as any good brother would do, he barged his way down to the Underworld by threatening a door until it took him there. He’s got charisma out the ass, baby, as he ends up telling Kravitz when he was faced with the god of death, who was wondering what this strange man was doing in the Underworld (and how he had made his way so far in without Kravitz’s knowledge). Kravitz ends up helping him to find Lup, partially because he wants to bring back balance to the land of the living, but also because Lup and Barry are awful to be around, they’re mean to him despite him just trying to do his job, and the paperwork is getting backed up! He’s just trying to do his job!

- Taako barges into the castle, whistles at the sweet digs, and then is like Hey, Lulu, time to get back home before shit goes belly-up, huh? Lup gets that, she really does, but she also doesn’t want to leave yet. She’s having fun, she’s in the actual Underworld, she’s learning and also wreaking a fair amount of havoc, and while she hasn’t acted on it she’s starting to get something of a monster crush on the god of dead people himself. So, as Taako is standing there, she just shrugs and plants one on Barry. Sorry, Koko, we’re in love, I can’t leave. Taako sees through it, because this is his sister and he knows her (and also the shade of red that Barry turned basically matched the wall hangings), and they do some “negotiations” that basically ends with sure, Lup will help keep the mortal’s lives flowing and chill, but she’s still gonna spend the weekends with her darling. Gotta keep things flowing on both sides of the equation, after all.

- Fake dating tomfoolery occurs between Barry and Lup as Taako and Kravitz get together in the background, but Lup and Barry actually work on making the system of life, death, and all the bits in between work much better. They have jobs to do and they’re damn good at them too, but in between it all they find themselves falling even harder for each other. This doesn’t mean that they confess anytime soon, despite Taako’s best efforts, but they’re still a fucking power couple if anybody’s ever seen one (even if they both think the other is faking it).

[khadij-al-kubra]

Persephone & Hades AU...

For your consideration, and bearing in mind that the original myth is not really all that toxic at all and is not a show of Stockholm syndrome...

The “””Kidnapping””” of Persephone:

Logan as Hades-

Bespectacled Ruler of the Underworld

Takes his job very seriously (wears a black and blue necktie with his long silky black robes)

Cold pale skin and intelligent grey eyes with slicked back black hair. Looks scarier and meaner than he actually is. (although he can have a bit of a temper if pushed and will have loud sharp outbursts of “FALSEHOOD!”)

Very logical and methodical in how he rules the underworld and keeps the souls passing through organized. Like he’s got the judgement thing down to a T! But despite his cold demeanor he’s actually very generous and kind at heart. He just recognizes the importance of his work and in remaining just yet impartial

Sucker for dogs, hence why he has a three headed one. He just wishes he had more time to play with Cerberus, but alas ruling the dead alone takes up a lot of ones time.

Has a sweet tooth and often indulges in jams made from the pomegranates that grow in his realm.

Is on decent enough relations with his brothers (Emile as Poseidon and Deceit as Zeus), although he STILL thinks that Deceit cheated in their straw draws, but let it go because he’s actually best suited as the more organized brother for ruling the dead.

Is secretly very lonely. Once in a blue moon he’ll sneak up to the surface for fresh air and sunlight. One day he spots a certain someone in a flower field who takes his breath away. (can you blame him, i mean that smile! )

Patton as Persephone-

Supreme flower child! (flowy sky blue clothes, grass green eyes, sun-kissed freckly skin and wheat colored curls, barefoot, flower crown)

Loves gardening, animals, and helping his father Demeter (Roman) with the changing seasons. Loves Roman to bits....He just wishes he wasn’t so overprotective. Like come ON dad, i’m a grown god, i can look after myself. I don’t run off on my own THAT much!

Is protective and loving towards most all forms of life and tries to see the good in each and every soul, both mortal and god/goddess #momfriendtothemax

Unless given reason to feel otherwise. Then...weeeell at the least he’ll give you a stern talking to but at worst...lets just say you DONT want to get on the bad side of someone who can grow massive and sharp thorn bushes and effect earthquakes when pushed too far. XO

Sometimes gets bored with the same old routine with Roman and wishes to get away and see something new from time to time. Maybe have some quiet time to make his own floral crafts and garden peacefully for fun and not work.

Often sneaks off when Roman is busy and goes wandering along dirt paths, sit under or climb a tree, or frolic in the flowers.

Roman as Demeter -

God of the Harvest, but like, EXTRA in all ways shape or form. (”we can top last years crop no problem, MORE WHEAT STALKS!” “No dad, we can’t, then there’ll be too much in this region and not enough for the next.” “LONGER SUMMER!!” “No! Bad idea dad! That’ll throw the seasons off”)

Often dresses in flowing gold threaded and sunset colored robes, but will change ensemble to match the seasons.

Enjoys watching the goings ons of the mortals, they’re just so entertaining! Especially is fond of traveling thespians and will bless the harvest of wherever they perform in.

Loves his son more than anything and has him help in godly duties because it keeps him close so he can keep an eye on Patton MUST KEEP PRECIOUS BAB SAFE!!!

Stubborn (but will never own up to it)

Virgil as Charon-

In charge of Ferrying souls across the River Styx

Doesn’t mind his job all that much but is #done with soooo many of these complaining, noisy and often rude or entitled souls. (like, NO dude, i don’t care who you were ruler of in the living world. Its two coins for passage like everyone else buddy!)

Really just wants a nap (often tries to hit up Remy a.k.a. Morpheus but he shows up late ALL the time)

Is actually very compassionate and gentle. He tries to ease the fears of souls who he sees are younger or were genuinely good in life or died in unfair ways.

Lives for the dark skull & bones aesthetic

Master of snark

Plays chess with Logan when either of them have some rare down time

    Click the cut for full story

One day Roman and Patton are off doing their nature godly duties, and Roman is nagging his son about the proper way to harvest corn. (”Yes father, i know how to do it. you’ve only told me like a hundred times” “well i just want to make sure to remind you and that you don’t cut yourself on the sickle”)

Patton sneaks off one day to pick flowers since it’ll probably be the last bloom before autumn sets. Suddenly he sees a curious crack in the ground and ambles over to it to take a look. (”what sort of creature could’ve made this deep thing?”) He leans in too far however and pulls an Alice in Wonderland.

Turns out that crack was made by Logan. Apparently he’d become so deeply smitten by Patton that he went to his older brother Deceit/Zeus for advice. (Yes he was a dick and a little shit at times-although took his duties seriously when need be-and tricked many of his lovers into bed, but Emile didn’t have nearly as much love experience as their elder brother & Logan was desperate)

Deceit had actually been pleased when his too serious brother told him that he’d fallen for the spring god. His advice to Logan had been to simply kidnap Patton and either bed him then woo him or woo him and then bed him. Logan, of course, didn’t listen because that was the stupidest idea ever! (”what under earth was i thinking? This is the guy who turned himself into a cygnini in order to copulate with a woman behind his wife’s back.”) Besides, he was too painfully shy and socially awkward to try wooing. (He worked with the dead for crying out loud, not the best circumstances for practicing social skills)

He did however create a crack in the ground so he could sneak peeks at Patton from below the earth and admire him from afar. However, he’d been called back on an emergency and forgot to close one particular crack up before leaving again.

So sufficed to say, he was fairly shocked when he suddenly heard screaming above him one day. He looked up to find one Patton falling towards him and just caught him in his arms in time. (BLUSH CITY ON BOTH PARTS)

Patton thanks Logan but is admittedly miffed at him when he learns Logan was the one who’d made that crack in the ground. “What were you thinking leaving a big hole in the earth like that? Some poor oblivious mortal or animal could’ve fallen into it and gotten hurt!” “Apologies I-it was a foolish oversight on my part. i-I certainly hope you are uninjured?”

After a while Patton forgives him when he sees how truly sorry this (admittedly) scary and stern looking god is. (lest we forget he’s one of the big three) And Logan is honestly just trying not to show how flustered he is. i mean Patton is there in his realm! They both realize the crack is far too high up for Patton to get back out through right away. So Logan offers to have Patton stay in his palace until he can fetch his assistant Virgil/Charon to help Patton back up the next day. IN HIS OWN QUARTERS, OF COURSE! Logan says blushing, trying to be a gentleman. Patton agrees, promising upon Logan’s request to only follow one rule: “You must NOT eat anything”. Strange, but okay. Besides, it’ll be nice getting a break from his father. And it’s just for one night, right? (WRONG!)

Patton ends up having to wait longer than he realized because both Logan and Virgil are super busy with ferrying and judging souls. So he wanders around the Underworld. (of course he is marked with untouchable safety from almost everything as a guest of Logan) 

One night however Patton finds himself stumbling upon a sparse garden. He’s surprised that anything is capable of growing down there in the realm of the dead, but even more shocked by the poor state of it. “Really, just look at the se rose bushes. They’re so brittle!” (it’s not Logan’s fault. He’s a busy boi. plus the god of the dead doesn’t exactly have a green thumb) Really the only thing flourishing down there is a single Pomegranate tree. The fruits on it look so red and shiny and juicy and...well...whats the worst that could happen if he eats just a few seeds?

Of course if you know the myth, it means now Patton cant leave. Because, well, greek god realm rules. Sufficed to say, Patton is pretty miffed that Logan hadn’t thought to tell him why he shouldn’t eat the darn fruit in the first place. Logan is greatly frustrated at Patton because a) he didn’t listen, and b) he actually has a point there and he does NOT like being wrong. Still, nothing to be done about it now.

Over time they cool off and apologize to each other. Patton’s still kind of mad though because now he can’t go home at all if he wanted too, but he recognizes that Logan wasn’t forcing him to stay on purpose. So he get’s over it and tries to make the best out of the situation. At least he can finally get away from Roman’s nagging for a while. 

* Meanwhile in the living world, a frantic and angry Roman raises hell. “WHERE IS MY BOOOOYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?” (Thebes did not have a good crop that year)

While in the Underworld Patton starts talking to some souls, listening to their stories and offering kind and comforting words. Which as it turns out makes them more at ease and willing to go for judgement as they pass on. Logan’s fondness for Patton grows as he witnesses these acts of compassion and kindness. He also comes to respect Patton when he sees just how fierce he can be in the face of those who’d been cruel or unjust in life. ”I’m sorry, you did what to how many people!? and NOW you’ve got the nerve to demand entrance into Elysium young man!? Logan, hold my flower.” “Fret not Patton. I have your bougainvillea.”     (art link for this scene)

Meanwhile Patton cant help but notice that, although he’s stern and serious on the outside, Logan is actually a very gentle god deep down. (he picks up on this from the soft tone of Logan’s voice as he speaks to souls being judged who’d suffered in life, or the way he reassures the more anxious ones with facts and logic about the afterlife that set them at eases “it’s not all punishment and Tartarus you know. Statistically few souls on the grand scale are malign enough to enter there. The Asphodel Meadows are quite pleasant, I assure you.”)

Logan works so hard and tirelessly at his often depressing job, but never acts mean or harsh unless a soul is nasty or rude or was truly evil, and Patton gains an admiration of him for that. (besides, he is actually quite handsome and beautiful in a cold distant way, like the stars and moonlight on a midsummers night) Patton also sees what a softie Logan can be when he’s playing with Cerberus. (”Who’s my excellent tri-headed canine? Who is a good demon dog?”) Patton gushes and of course Cerberus and Patton LOVE each other. Watching Patton play with the big dog becomes Logan’s newest favorite thing. (”By the gods Virgil, it is too precious to process!”) 

Sometimes Patton will keep Logan company when there’s a lull in souls. He’ll tell Logan about all the different places he’s seen and what mortals are like when still alive. Logan meanwhile will often go into rants about the fascinating bits of knowledge he’s accumulated over the years from souls who’ve lived full lives. Logan enjoys having someone who enjoys listening to him (not that Virgil isn’t a respectful listener, but Logan sometimes wonders if he only does is because he’s his boss) And Patton really likes being able to share his own opinions and ideas without condescendingly albeit gently being told, (“no, no, my silly sweet boy. This is the right way to do it. Now eat your cereal, you need the fiber sweet pea”) Having picked up some of the mortal’s sense of humor, Patton is very much a fan of word play and LOVES making puns. Logan is...less than amused by them. However, the first time he makes Patton laugh with a clever quip (about Virgil or one of the more disgruntled souls) he swore the whole Underworld actually lit up. He treasures every time he can make that precious god laugh and smile.

Heck, even Virgil warms up to Patton and actually becomes VERY protective of the spring god. Patton sees through to his anxious softie center and enjoys talking to Virgil who is a very good listener. Meanwhile Virgil finds Patton’s sunny disposition refreshing and his warm presence calming. Patton will often keep Virgil company, but can’t always bring himself to follow when he has to ride across the River Styx. The memories and voices coming off the water just make him too sad.

Virgil ends up playing wingman for Logan. He tells Logan how Patton’s been a bit down in the dumps and recommends Logan cheer him up with a present. “That is an excellent idea Virgil, but what? What could possibly be good enough for that sweet honeysuckle?” “Well you’ve spied on him enough times- and don’t try to deny it boss- what does he like?” 

Sufficed to say, Patton LOVES his surprise underworld garden that Logan had worker rigorously on creating for him. He knows it couldn’t have been easy. Of course, being the god of the dead, Logan cannot maintain the garden and Patton is more than happy to have free creative reign over it. He giddily catches Logan in a big hug, and is pleased when a blushing Logan returns the heartfelt embrace, pressing a tender kiss to Patton’s forehead. Then he takes a blushing Patton’s hands in his.

”Patton, my honeysuckle, sunshine of my heart...I cannot contain it any longer. For so long you’ve been the object of my affection, but over the course of our time together down here, although the circumstances had been less than idea, my love for you has only deepened. Would you perhaps...although I am not worthy of you...would you consider marrying me, and ruling the Underworld by my side?” By now Patton is blushing like crazy and in tears because, although he’d been mad at Logan for getting him stuck down there at first, he realizes that he’s come to deeply love the dark god too. Logan worries that he’s crossed a line but then Patton beams and looks up at him with tears in his eyes. “Oh Lo-lo, my brilliant beautiful lobelia blossom, I-” BAM!

Cue a properly pissed off Roman crashing down to the Underworld. He’s also got Deceit/Zeus with him by the ear. “AHA! So THIS is where you’ve been keeping my precious boy!” “Deceit, you told him!?” “He got it out of me. Sorry, not Sorry. I may be the ruler of the gods, but Roman is quite -ow- convincing when angry.”

Roman rushes over to Patton and they embrace, because although it was nice having time to himself Patton did miss his beloved father. After Roman fusses over Patton-“Are you alright? Are you hurt? have you been eating properly?” “yes, yes, i’m fine father. I promise!”- Roman unleashes verbal hell on, well, the god of hell. He reprimands Logan for kidnapping his son, but Patton quickly comes to Logan’s defense saying that it wasn’t his fault and the whole thing had been an accident, not a kidnapping. When he hears the whole story Roman does calm down a bit, and is admittedly happy to see Patton so happily in love as well. (he may be a helicopter parent, but the god of the harvest is quite the romantic at heart and loves seeing Patton so happy. Even if he doesn’t think the doom and gloom Logan is good enough for his precious little sunflower) 

But upon finding out about the pomegranate sees he practically begs Logan to release him so that Patton can come back to the land of the living with him. (besides, he does still need him to help with the seasons and crops) Logan apologizes, saying it’s impossible and there’s nothing he can do. He just doesn’t have that kind of power. Then all three hear Deceit clear his throat.

“Ahem. God of gods speaking, and if you’re all done blubbering, i may have a solution.” So he tells them that there may be a loophole he can work around. He’ll give Logan his blessing to marry Patton, who will also be allowed to go back upworld with Roman, but on the condition that Patton spends part of the year co-ruling the Underworld. He tells them that for the number of pomegranate seeds that Patton ate, he’ll be obligated to spend a month with Logan. “Well darling, how many seeds did you eat?” They all look at Patton expectantly. Technically Patton only at 3 seeds, but heckitty heck, he really wants more time with Logan than three months. And frankly, he enjoyed the idea of getting some time away from Roman too, bless him but he cannot face so much nagging again! 

He lies and says six. Only six seeds. Because it’s not like anyone was there to see him or could know. Weeeell maybe the all seeing god of gods, but Deceit just winks and smirks at Patton, pressing a finger in secrecy to his lips behind Logan and Roman’s backs. So it’s agreed that Patton will spend the summer and spring half of the year in the Living world with Roman and the fall and winter half ruling the Underworld with Logan.

Before he goes back up with Roman though, Patton and Logan are wed. It’s Logan’s first and only time back to Olympus (he forgot how bright and noisy it was up there!) and all the greek gods and goddesses bear witness to their union. Even Virgil is granted a short vacation to be the witness of honor for his two favorite immortals. As it turns out the months apart end up being good for Roman as well as Patton. He gets a lot more work done now that he isn’t constantly fretting (actively anyways) over Patton or keeping him out of trouble or from wandering. 

When they consummate their marriage for the first time, hoooboi! Logan’s so bashful but respectful (never having been with any other being before, mortal or immortal) and Patton thinks its adorably sweet. Having been topside, well, lets just say Patton snuck off every now and then when he could to “frolic” with a few naiads and mortals he found sweet or lovely. So he ends up being a thorough teacher to Logan. Turns out they’re quite compatible in more ways than one ;)

Patton ends up being a fantastic co-king of the underworld. Heck, he’s even incorporated the new job into his aesthetic (he always wears a crown of flowers and bird skulls in the Underworld) and, as it turns out, can be even scarier than Logan! Only when some foolish soul makes him mad or gets on his bad side. So none do. And with the souls being more behaved it takes the pressure off of Virgil and Logan a LOT. But for the most part Patton remains a sweet, kind and benevolent co-ruler to the dead souls, and balances out Logan’s stricter judgements quite well. Logan now has a bit more breather time to read and play with Cerberus since he’s not the only one in charge of the whole Underworld anymore. And he and Patton LOVE spending time together in Patton’s dark yet flourishing underworld garden! 

Patton is always so happy to go back to the Living world with Roman when winter’s over. Of course he hates leaving Logan and misses him. Logan doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his sadness and tears, but understands. He does get a bit clingy their last nights though. (he becomes a kissy snuggly fiend)  Virgil always promises Patton that he’ll take care of Logan while he’s gone. But Patton is a child of the earth and he does tend to miss the sunshine and his father. So he get’s back to work with a newfound exuberance, making the flowers grow, spending time with Roman and frolicking about the world. He always does his best to bring back a new scroll or star map for Logan, who treasures every gift and is slowly building a library for himself.

Sufficed to say, the decades pass by, Logan and Patton attentively fulfill their godly duties, and remain happily and devotedly in love with one another.

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