#i just spent the past few hours doing this

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

You get my motor running

Written for the day 27 of the @steddieholidaydrabbles, and for round one of the @steddiebingo

Prompts: Traffic & Handjobs

Rated: E

Tags: Established Relationship; Post-Vecna; Some vague references to PTSD; Handjobs; Semi-public sex

“Paper towels,” Steve barks, throwing himself into the passenger seat and slamming the door. A little avalanche descends off the van's roof. Eddie flinches back to attention. 

“That's a curse word I haven't heard before.”

Steve scowls, brushing snow from his hair. It leaves the carefully styled strands ruffled and sticking up at odd angles, giving him a slightly manic look. 

“Hilarious. There is a fucking truck lying in a ditch, like half a mile from here, paper towels all over the place. Police are waving the cars past, but there’s hundreds in front of us. It’ll be hours before we get out of here.” 

“Huh,” Eddie says.

“Yeah,” Steve huffs, crossing his arms. “Huh.”

They sit in silence for a while. 

“We should’ve gone yesterday,” Steve mutters. His leg starts twitching. “Everyone and their mother wants out of the city for the holidays, we should’ve known traffic would be fucking crazy. We’ll never make it to Hawkins on time at this rate. The others will-” 

“They’ll survive, Stevie,” Eddie says, catching his hand and running his fingers over his knuckles. They’re raw from the frosty air, dry skin coming off where Steve picked at it. A habit he's developed in the aftermath of everything, now that there's nothing left to punch, nothing left to go at with nail bats and axes and molotovs. “It's only Christmas dinner.” 

Steve’s fingers flex and Eddie knows he wants to argue, but then he sighs. 

“Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I'm just-” 

“Nervous,” Eddie says, tangling their fingers together. “I know, big boy.” 

It hasn't been easy for either of them, leaving Hawkins, but Eddie knows that it's been even harder for Steve. Steve, who's been involved in the Upside Down shit from the get-go, who's spent the better part of his teenage years fighting monsters - the fanged and clawed kind as well as the human-shaped ones. Who still wakes up screaming sometimes, throwing punches at the pillows, trying to protect his loved ones from threats that are long gone. 

“We'll be here for a while, honey,” Eddie says. “Nothing to be done about it. Just relax.” 

“I wish I could,” Steve groans, head thudding against the backrest, and fondness blooms in Eddie’s chest.

“Well,” he mutters, shifting his gaze back to the road, at the same time that his hand lets go of Steve’s fingers and travels to his thigh. “I think I can help you with that.” 

Steve gasps. Eddie stays focused on the road. He doesn’t need to turn his head to know there’s a blush slowly spreading over that pretty face.

“What are you doing?” Steve’s voice is a low, frantic hiss, but he makes no attempt to swat Eddie off. Eddie grins, shifting his hand just a little bit further upwards, and Steve bucks in his seat. “Are you insane? What if anyone sees?” 

“Well,” Eddie drawls, letting his eyes roam over the surrounding vehicles. Most of the drivers are staring off into space, some drumming their fingers to the sounds of their radios, some arguing with their passengers. Nobody is paying them any attention. His palm finds the bulge in Steve’s pants and cups it in a firm grip. “Guess we’ll just need to be subtle about it, huh?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see how Steve’s face twitches as he silently weighs his options. 

“I mean, we could always wait and pull into a side road later,” Eddie shrugs. “But you said it yourself. It’ll be hours...” 

For a few seconds, the only sound is that of tires crunching on snow.

“You’re such an asshole,” Steve snaps, shimmying in his seat so that he can lift his hips and unzip his pants. “C’mon then, make it quick.” 

“Well, aren’t you generous?” Eddie coos, and reaches over. 

As far as handjobs go, it’s one of the odder ones he’s given. 

He needs to keep one hand on the steering wheel and his feet on the pedals, so the angle is awkward. He also can’t watch Steve’s face as he usually does, but they’ve been together long enough for his imagination to fill in the gaps. Steve makes a needy little noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper, rutting up into Eddie’s hand, and he can just imagine the way he flushes, the way he bites down on that pink bottom lip to keep louder sounds from spilling out. For all his initial reluctance, it takes him mere seconds to get hard, and soon his breathy whines are joined by the wet sound of his precome-slickened cock fucking in and out of Eddie’s palm.

Steve never believes him when he says it, but Eddie can feel his orgasm coming before he himself does. He’s learned to read the little telltale signs - the stutter of his hips, the minute hitch of his breath, the way his cock starts twitching in anticipation. Today is no exception. 

“Shit, I’m gonna-” Steve moans, trying to jerk away, to tuck himself back in, but Eddie makes a soft shushing sound and tightens his grip, keeping him in place. Eyes trained at the snowflakes falling beyond the windshield, he lets Steve shake apart in his hold, head thrown back into a silent scream, spilling hot and wet all over Eddie’s hand and his pants and the seat. By the time his breathing evens out, the cars in front of them have started moving again. 

“Well?” Eddie asks, wiping his hand on his pants. “Relaxed now?” 

Steve huffs, a breathy and incredulous thing, but his features have gone soft and content.

“Relaxed and fucking filthy. How are you gonna explain the stains to the others, genius?” 

“Well,” Eddie winks. “Maybe someone up there can lend us a paper towel.” 

Steve almost makes him walk the rest of the way, but he thinks it’s well worth it.

More holiday drabbles

More Steddie Bingo

[corruptedcaps]

Model Behaviour

Liam paced his tiny workshop, his fingers twitching nervously as he glanced at the nearly completed bodysuit hanging in front of him. The latex and silicone masterpiece shimmered under the harsh overhead light, an uncanny recreation of the fictional supermodel girlfriend he’d spent the past year bragging about.

Maddy sat on a stool, arms crossed, her expression a mix of annoyance and disbelief.

“This is insane, Liam, I can’t believe I’m even considering this.” She said.

Liam stopped pacing and turned to her, pleading. “Maddy, you’re my best friend. You know I didn’t mean for this to happen. It just… got out of hand.”

“You could’ve just told the truth at any point,” Maddy shot back. “Instead, you built that.” She gestured at the suit.

“I panicked, okay? And now, if I don’t show up with ‘Sophie,’ my career is over. They’ll never take me seriously again.” He said, his face distraught at the thought.

Maddy sighed, shaking her head. “Ok fine let’s do it.” Liam lit up with excitement.

“The suit’s fully functional. It even has built-in voice modulation. You’ll look, sound, and… act just like her.”

“Wait, act?” Maddy raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Liam hesitated, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have added a… personality enhancer. You know, to make you more convincing. A touch of… um… supermodel flair.”

Maddy’s eyes narrowed. “Define ‘supermodel flair.’”

“There’s no time, just know it’s just a little conditioning to help you out is all.” He said hoping his house of cards won’t topple.

Maddy glared at him but stood up. “This better not mess with my head, Liam. If I end up on a therapist’s couch because of this, you’re paying the bill.”

“Noted,” Liam said, handing her the suit. “Now, let’s get you suited up.”

Minutes later, Maddy stood in front of the mirror, transformed. The suit hugged her frame perfectly, the flawless blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. Her lips were pouty, her posture effortlessly poised. She turned slowly, her reflection almost unrecognizable.

She placed a hand on her chest, running her fingers over her impressive boobs. “That’s… me?” Her voice, now sultry and smooth, startled her.

“Pretty convincing, huh?” Liam said nervously from behind her. “You look incredible.”

Maddy tilted her head, studying herself. A sly smile crept onto her lips. “Of course I am. Incredible doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Liam frowned. “Maddy? You okay?”

Maddy adjusted the shimmering blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, her heart pounding as she stared at her transformed reflection. This was her chance, the closest she’d ever get to being Liam’s girlfriend, even if it was just pretend. It was the main reason she had agreed to do it in the first place.

And yet as she gazed at her new and improved body a voice in the back of her head was telling her that Liam didn’t deserve her now that she could have any man she wanted now. The voice made her hunger.

“Of course I do, darling.” She purred, her modulated voice smooth and sultry. She struck a playful pose, a mix of teasing and allure. It felt incredibly natural. “Now can we get going, I NEED to be seen.”

A few hours later Liam stood near the drinks table, awkwardly nursing a glass of sparkling water as his coworkers mingled around him. His eyes kept darting to Maddy, who was currently surrounded by a captivated crowd, her laugh ringing through the air like music.

She was wearing the dress that she demanded he buy her on the way to the party. A shorter than short red dress that she insisted was festive but also showed off her long legs and ample chest. She was the center of attention, and Liam could hardly believe how flawlessly Maddy had pulled this off, or rather, how flawlessly the suit had.

As he watched her endless charm his colleagues, his boss, David, sauntered over to Maddy with a confident grin. David was tall, broad-shouldered, and had a reputation for his charm. Liam’s stomach sank as he watched David lean in, clearly flirting.

“Liam, she’s stunning!” Claire from accounting exclaimed, sidling up beside him, blocking his view of Maddy. “You were underselling her. No wonder you were so smitten.”

“Uh, yeah, she’s, uh… one of a kind.” Liam muttered, forcing a smile.

“So, Sophie, Liam’s been keeping you a secret from us for too long. What do you do?” David asked, his voice smooth.

Maddy tilted her head, a playful smile curving her lips. She was drinking in David. A man like him would never have took a second look at a girl like her before. A girl like Maddy.

“Oh but you’re not Maddy anymore remember?” The voice said in her mind, now louder than before. “You’re Sophie a beauty queen, who knows a king when she sees them.”

The words weee accompanied by a dumping of endorphins that made her eyes flutter a little and a soft moan pass through her lips.

“Are you alright?” David asks with actual concern.

Maddy felt a flush of lust come over here as concern etched David’s face. “Mmm I’m sorry, it’s just I was taken by your good looks for a moment. It’s made me light headed.” She said biting her bottom lip at him. He looked a little taken aback by it himself but was still intrigued.

Placing his hand on her lower back he started to guide her way from the noise of the party. “Why don’t you sit down? I know the perfect place.” He said to her with a knowing smirk which she returned.

Meanwhile Liam was still trying to break away from his conversation with Claire. “I know why don’t I introduce you.” He finally said after ten minutes of her gushing about how amazing ‘Sophie’ looks.

However as he glanced back toward where Maddy had been he found her to be gone. His eyes scanned the room frantically until he spotted her. He left Claire to go deeper into the office, far from where the office party noise was. However as that sound died, a new one took its place. The sound of a woman moaning and panting.

Liam turned the corner and saw Maddy sitting on David’s lap, jumping up and down as she moaned like a wanton whore.

Liam froze, his stomach flipping. “No. No, no, no…”

He pushed through the cubicles, his mind racing. By the time he burst through the door, Maddy was running her fingers through her hair as her eyes rolled into the back of her head, climaxing and completely lost in the moment.

“Sophie!” Liam blurted.

She pulled back, her expression still utter bliss as her orgasm settled. However as the afterglow of it faded so too did her euphoria, as it shifted into something cool and indifferent. But also something else in her eyes that Liam couldn’t place. “Oh, Liam. There you are.”

David looked between them, smirking. “Sorry, buddy. Didn’t realize she was off-limits.”

“She’s… she’s my girlfriend!” Liam stammered, his voice trembling.

Maddy raised a perfectly arched brow. “Girlfriend? Liam, don’t be so possessive. It’s unbecoming.”

Liam blinked, stunned. “What?”

David chuckled as he did up his pants. He clapped Liam on the shoulder, as he said “Relax, Liam. She’s just being friendly.”

“Friendly?!” Liam’s voice rose. “You were fucking!”

Maddy sighed dramatically, turning back to David. “He’s always so sensitive. Isn’t it adorable?”

David laughed, clearly amused.

“Meet me back at the party hot stuff.” She said, kissing David on the lips in front of an irate Liam. David smacked her on the ass as he sauntered out back to the party.

Liam’s face burned with embarrassment and frustration. “Maddy, what the hell are you doing?”

“Maddy? Who the hell is Maddy? Have you had one too many cosmos?” She said sharply, her voice dripping with condescension.

“This isn’t you!” Liam hissed, lowering his voice. “It’s the suit messing with your head.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms. “What suit? What the hell are you talking about?”

Liam froze, the words catching in his throat. “The suit, you’re wearing a suit! I built it, remember? You’re not really… this. You’re Maddy!”

She laughed, a harsh, hollow sound that made his stomach churn. “You’ve lost it, Liam. Is this ‘Maddy’ one of your friends you have a crush on or something?”

“No, no, no!” He stammered, his voice cracking. “You’re Maddy! You’re my best friend! We put this plan together, remember? You’re wearing a suit that I—”

“Stop it!” She snapped, her eyes blazing. “Do you hear how insane you sound? A suit? Ugh… at least you losing the plot will make this a lot easier.”

Liam looked at her confused. “Make what easier?”

Maddy let a smirk curl up on her lips, clearly revelling in what she was about to do. “We’re done. Honestly I don’t know why we were even together in the first place.”

Liam shook his head, his pulse pounding in his ears. “Maddy, listen to me. You’re not thinking clearly. The suit, it’s altering your mind. You have to fight it.”

She took a step closer, towering over him in her heels, her presence somehow larger than life. “You’re pathetic.” She said, her voice low and cutting. “You can’t handle the fact that I’ve outgrown you. That I don’t need you. You’re the one who’s confused, Liam. Not me.”

His heart sank as she turned on her heel and strutted back toward the party, her laughter floating over the sound of the music.

Liam stood there, frozen, his mind racing. She didn’t remember the suit. She didn’t remember who she really was. She was Sophie, his perfect girlfriend who wanted nothing to do with him.

[lavenderchqn]

Hello!! If reqs are still open may I ask for an enamel cup of rooibos tea :'). If you're taking fic suggestions too, I've been thinking about office workers au.. or where you're both forced to go to an office party and wind up drunk!!

"AIRÉN"

synopsis — after finishing your first big project at your current workplace, you as well as your secret partner are forced to attend a party full of alcohol... and well, chaos ensues pairing — alhaitham x gn!reader warnings — mentions of alcohol, being drunk, people forcing others to drink for their own amusement notes — thank you for the request! I really enjoyed adding a secretive

Keeping a secret can be gruelling, not to mention keeping a relationship undercover when it is clearly against the rules of the workplace. 

You sigh, dotting the last sentence of the report you had been writing to finish the biggest project you’d ever taken since starting to work at this job. You can barely keep your eyes open, having spent over four hours just on the damned thing. 

Your fingers ache from typing, and your brain feels like mush, but at least it’s done. You lean back in your chair, stretching your arms above your head as you glance at the clock on your desk — 1:47 p.m. Everyone else had long gone to have lunch, leaving the office in eerie silence, save for the faint hum of the fluorescent lights.

You’re muttering to yourself, trying to figure out what’s the next thing you ought to do. Well, sending the report would be the wisest thing to do, followed by having some food. And yet, despite having opened the platform, for some reason you seem to hesitate to forward the files. 

This project had been something of a breakthrough of yours. You’ve grown quite attached to the idea of it, as well as to all the people involved with it. Letting it go like that… makes you feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. 

“Done.” Out of nowhere, Alhaitham comes over to send the report to your place, causing you quite the scare. The bloody man, who not only was the one you’ve been in a relationship with for the past few months but also the complete opposite in terms of work ethics. 

Ever since you could remember, you had always put so much effort into everything you did — school, work, hobbies… Staying to work overtime was basically second nature to you by this point. How on earth did you end up with a guy who’s out of the office the second clock strikes 5 o’clock. 

A notification ping is what gets your focus back in order, your partner still hunched over your chair. Everyone in the office has now been notified of your accomplishment. 

“Good job on that, [Y/N],” Alhaitham says, putting your laptop in sleep mode. “Time for lunch.” He says, straightening his back and offering his hand to help you stand. 

You blink up at him, still a little stunned by his sudden appearance and the swiftness with which he took over. He has a knack for stepping in at the most unexpected times, and his calm, composed demeanour always leaves you slightly off balance. 

“Could you not sneak up on me like that?” You say, placing a hand on your chest to steady your racing heart. Oh how glad you are, that the office takes the small gestures the two of you share as just being friends. You have been keeping it very lowkey, but with a person of Alhaitham’s personality, any sudden behaviour change would be noticeable. 

He raises an eyebrow, his expression unreadable but with a hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his lips. “You were so deep in thought I figured knocking would be redundant.” 

“You figured wrong,” you mutter, but a small smile betrays your annoyance. Despite yourself, you’re grateful for his presence. Even if his approach is less conventional than yours, he has a way of lightening your workload — and your mood. 

When you hesitate to take his hand, still thinking about the report and the massive effort behind it, he leans down slightly, his voice growing softer. “You’ve done enough for today. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.”

His words strike like a chord. You exhale a deep breath, finally taking his hand. As he helps you to your feet, you can’t help but notice how effortlessly he anchors you, both physically and emotionally. 

“I can’t believe you sent it without giving me a chance to go over it one last time,” you grumble as the two of you walk towards the elevator. 

Alhaitham gives you a nonchalant shrug. “If you went over it, we’d miss lunch. Besides, I know how thorough you are. There’s no way that report has a single flaw.” 

You glance at him, half-suspecting him of sarcasm, but his tone is genuine. A faint warmth spreads through your chest at the single inkling of a compliment from him, and you finally allow yourself to relax for the first time in hours. 

As the elevator doors slide open, you glance around to make sure no one’s nearby before stepping inside together. Although there’s not much risk in being caught at a place like this, having the security of nobody joining you is lovely. 

“We ought to be back at 3 p.m.,” Alhaitham says, picking the ground floor and casually leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. “Silence your phone.” 

“Where are we going?” You ask as the elevator begins its descent. 

“There’s a café down the street I’ve been meaning to try. Quiet, good food, not too crowded. Since we’re thirty minutes late to lunch there’s going to be even fewer people.” 

You arch an eyebrow. “Since when do you scout out lunch spots?” 

His lips quick into a faint smirk. “Since I started dating someone who forgets to eat whenever working on a big project.” 

Your cheeks warm at his remark, but you roll your eyes to cover it. “Well, I hope it’s as good as you say.” 

After a short while, you’ve reached your destination — the ground floor. The elevator dings and the doors open. 

The two of you barely leave the elevator when all you can hear is the hurried steps of somebody getting close to you. 

“[Y/N],” Your manager comes up to you, a cheerful smile across his face. “Congratulations on finishing the project!”

Your heart skips a beat, caught off guard by his sudden appearance. Out of instinct, you step slightly away from Alhaitham, creating a safe distance between the two of you. It’s a subtle movement, but you know your partner doesn’t miss it. It’s almost as if his perception of your behaviour doubles in power whenever at work. 

“Thank you,” You reply, managing a polite despite the knot of anxiety tightening in your chest. “It was a team effort.” 

“Nonsense!” Your manager exclaims, clapping you lightly on the shoulder. “You’d led this project beautifully. I’ve already forwarded your report to the higher-ups. They are going to be very impressed with your work.” 

“That’s great to hear.” You say though you feel like you’re barely holding onto your professional facade. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Alhaitham’s lips twitch, as though he’s holding back a smirk at your discomfort. 

Your manager continues, oblivious to the underlying tension. “From what I’ve heard, a party is going to be held to celebrate the accomplishment. Be sure to attend it, you had played the first fiddle, after all.” 

At the single mention of a work event, your chest tightens. You’re probably the second to last person who would show up to one of those — only being after Alhaitham. 

“It’s going to be mandatory.” The manager says, already predicting your decline of the offer. “The official note will probably be sent out by the end of the day. The same goes for you, Alhaitham.” The male looks at your partner with a sharp eye. Alhaitham, on the other hand, only rolls his eyes already tired at what’s about to come. 

With that, you’re left to your devices. Food first, complaining about a mandatory “team-bonding” party second… After all, you both know it’s only a means for the higher-ups to gather costs for tax returns and get drunk, nothing more, nothing less. 

You haven’t even entered the venue yet and you already feel lightheaded at the overwhelming stench of alcohol in the air. It’s far too for your liking, and you barely got here.

“The lady of the hour!~” Nilou, the only sane human resources lady as well as the person you would’ve considered your second work bestie at the company, greets you the second you enter the room with a cheerful smile on her face. “Congratulations on your project, dearie.” 

She envelops you in a warm hug, her genuine excitement so infectious that it momentarily dissipates your dread about the evening. Despite the suffocating air of the venue, her cheerful presence feels like a breath of fresh air. 

“Thanks, Nilou,” You say, managing a small smile. “I didn’t really have a choice but to show up, though.” 

She chuckles, pulling back to look at you. “I figured as much. But hey, at least there’s free food and a chance to celebrate your hard work. You deserve it.” 

You glance over her shoulder, scanning the room for familiar faces. Sure enough, there’s your manager already drunk off his mind and in a discussion with some other department head, as well as a few clusters of employees milling about, drinks in hand. Thankfully, there’s no sign of Alhaitham just yet. He’ll likely be just on time because he doesn’t get paid to show up earlier. 

Unfortunately, you manage to lock eyes with somebody near the bar and they’re already headed your way to offer you a welcome drink. 

“Bottoms up, [Y/N].” The person says, showing a glass into your palm and getting everyone present to look at you. Speak about being put on the spot… and a health code violation. You just hope Nilou has taken note of the person who offered you the drink. 

There’s a slight hesitation in your hand. From what you can gauge, what you’ve been given is an entire glass of rectified spirit — arguably the strongest alcoholic beverage out there. You just hope they won’t be idiotic enough to force-feed you these after this one.

With some drunkards posing as your coworkers egging you on, you drown the glass in one go, feeling nauseous as it goes down your throat. You will absolutely be regretting that the second you get home. You almost take a stumble, but Nilou is right there to help you steady your body and lead you to have a seat. 

“Please—“ You hiccup, getting tipsy off the singular glass already. “Give that person a stern talk…”   

Nilou’s face twists into a mix of concern and irritation. She helps you settle onto a nearby chair, patting your back gently. “I’ve got you covered.” She says, her voice firm. “Don’t worry about them. That was unacceptable and completely uncalled for.” 

Your head feels like it’s spinning, the potent alcohol hitting your system much faster than you anticipated. You try to focus on breathing, hoping to steady yourself before things get worse. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Nilou storming off toward the offender, steps strict and purposeful and her expression unreadable. 

A few moments later, a familiar voice breaks through the haze. “It’s only six p.m. and you’re already drunk?” 

You glance to see Alhaitham standing over you, his hands crossed and an almost imperceptible crease of concern on his otherwise stoic face. For once in his life, he decided to push his hair back and dress in a grey suit. Oh fuck, he’s hot. 

“You’re late.” You mumble, your words slurring slightly as you rest your head on your hand. “Wasn’t there to save me…” 

He quirks an eyebrow, crouching down to your level. “What happened?” He says, his tone unexpectedly soft. You just hope your tipsy state is not misreading his actions. 

“Someone thought it’d be hilarious to offer her a glass of a strong spirit,” Nilou interjects as she returns, her irritation still simmering. She gestures towards the culprit, who now looks sheepish under the sharp glare of Nilou’s superiors. “Is there any possibility you’d be able to look after [Y/N] tonight, Alhaitham?” Nilou asks, taking a pause before adding. “I’m going to be on the lookout for that comedian in specific.” 

Alhaitham sighs, nodding. “Leave it to me, I suppose.” He says curtly.

“Thank you so much!” Nilou smiles at his sacrifice, promising in her mind to stand behind the male tremendously in case HR is ever on his case. 

Not leaving immediately after finding out you were drunk was the biggest mistake Alhaitham had made today. Somewhere along the way he also got tipsy… despite being the designated driver of tonight’s escapade, resulting in him having to witness your drunken antics with a mild headache. The way he had to stoop that low as to message Kaveh to get over to pick the two of you up, was unbelievable. 

“You knoww…” You start, leaning against him. “You’re so mean to everyone but me…” Archons above, you are going at this again? It was around the third time you decided to take pride in being the sole worker who Alhaitham didn’t actively despise. 

Alhaitham groans inwardly, his tipsy state making your slurred words seem both endearing and annoying. He supports you as you cling to his arm, your weight pressing against him, making it impossible to avoid your proximity. 

“You’re exaggerating,” he mutters, his voice low and almost monotone despite the slight flush on his cheeks. “I’m mean to you too, silly.” 

“You aren’t!” You insist, poking his chest weakly. “You’re all stoic and scary… but with me, you’re… kinda sweet. Not to mention… you look fucking hot in grey.” 

His lips twitch, almost forming a smirk, but he quickly composes himself. “Maybe you’re half annoying, ever thought about that?” 

You gasp, your drunken eyes widening as if he’d just confessed the world’s greatest secret. “Oh my god, you do like me more than anyone else!” 

The volume of your declaration turns a few heads, and Alhaitham instinctively glances around, his hand gently gripping your waist to steady you and keep you from attracting further attention. “Lower your voice,” He says, his tone firm despite being full of worry. 

By some sheer miracle, he makes eye contact with Nilou, who smiles awkwardly. She is fully aware you’re less than in your fullest brain space. Although, from Alhaitham’s point of view, she is not aware of your relationship… he trusts her in not reporting whatever you’re doing to the higher-ups.

Tilting her head in confusion, the redhead joins the two of you, worried for your state.

“Maybe it’s best you take her home now?” She asks, crouching slightly to check your face. “I’m worried she’ll get even more unhinged.” 

Alhaitham nods, his hand steady on your waist. “That’s the wisest decision. I appreciate the help, Nilou.” He shifts his weight, ready to guide you out of the venue. 

“Good luck,” Nilou says with a knowing smile. “If you need any help, just call me.” 

Once outside, the crisp night air hits you like a splash of cold water, slightly sobering you up but not enough to stop your drunken musings. Alhaitham leads you to the car he definitely shouldn’t be driving tonight, opening the passenger door for you. 

“Get in,” He orders gently.

You hesitate, squinting up at him. “But you drank too. Who’s driving? You can’t drive. That’s dangerous.” 

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Give it a minute. Just get in the car, alright?” 

Satisfied with his answer, you slump into the seat, leaning your head back and mumbling something unintelligible about being betrayed by other coworkers. You barely even notice when your words begin to slur together, not due to alcohol in your body, but from sheer exhaustion. 

“—cking hell,” A curse is what ultimately wakes you up from the lovely nap you were having. “This is the last time that group of pillocks gets me out to go anywhere.” 

“Pillock?” A higher voice questions. “Can’t believe some alcohol turns you into an old man!… Well, you do have the hair for it.” 

“Kaveh.” 

“So-Sorry!” 

Ah. So the driver must’ve been Kaveh — Alhaitham’s unrecognised best friend as well as an architect you’ve grown to become friends yourself. You decide against saying anything, your brain is far too foggy to even make coherent sentences. You’re pretty certain you’re already having the first symptoms of a hangover. 

And tomorrow? Well, you will be joined by your partner in groaning about a massive headache, luckily aided by Kaveh’s good heart… and multiple glasses of water. 

date of posting — december 27th 2024

[kasagia]

I love you... I am sorry II

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x fem!witch! reader

Summary: You and Aleksander talk, scratching open old wounds from the past, you come to the conclusion that some things are simply a lost cause.

Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~Main Masterlist

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 1 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 3 ~•♤♤♤•~

"Do you think I'll tell you what to do by moving soldier figures around on the map without any logic?"

"I know you, Aleksander. Eventually you'll crack and arrange those wooden soldiers the way they need to be on this map to win this battle. Give me two hours, and I'll make you so annoyed that you will do whatever it takes to get rid of me." You respond teasingly, playing with the pawns on the Ravka map in front of his cell door.

A few days had passed since your first meeting after years. During that time, you had managed to discover exactly what changes had taken place in Aleksander.

He was apathetic, not paying attention to those around him. You had been watching from hiding as Alina and Baghra tried to talk to him, but he clearly showed no interest in Ravka's fate. And worst—Grisha. Or at least he pretended not to care. You had to find out why.

Luckily, you and Ulla were able to stir up… a lot more emotion in him than those two hags. Even if it was just irritation, it was still a greater success than Alina or Baghra could achieve. Or at least that's what Baghra told you.

"Since when have you been friends with my mother?" He asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You lazily move the figurine representing Grisha's troop to the pass between Ravka and Fjerda. With your ability to read the Shadow Summoner, you immediately notice the slight twitch at the corners of his eyes. A shitty place then. You move the figurine to a different spot and, seeing no disapproving little reaction from him, you leave it there.

"Since when did you become a pain in the ass?" You reply with a cute little smirk, grinning when you see his annoyed expression.

You pull away from your poor reenactment of battle and lean back in your chair, crossing your arms. You watch him carefully, keeping your poker face on as he analyses you too. Talking to him was like playing chess. You had to know when you could afford to lose your pawns.

"You never really said why you are here." He starts, stepping a little closer to you. Like a vulture slowly circling its prey. You liked him in his analytical hunter mode. He was so absurdly sexy…

"I don't have to explain myself to you. You are not my man or something." You scoff, glancing out of the corner of your eye at his reaction. The clench of his jaw might have gone unnoticed if you didn't know him any better, but the way he clenched his fist and hid it behind his back didn't. You pissed him off. Good.

"I am not." He only agrees coolly, this time being the one to stick the needle in your side. Bloody bastard.

"Alina wants to take me north. You know... to help calm down a situation with Fjerda by using my powers." You tell him, leaning back in your chair. You reach for the pendant around your neck and play with the glass heart, looking at him as intently as he does you.

"Have you become her errand dog?"

"Please... do you truly think so little of me?" You snort in amusement, but your mockery dies when he says nothing in response to your words. Bad move. Of course he thinks so little of you since your stormy breakup. "You don't have to answer. No. I am not going to help your little saint or queen or whatever you wish to call her with the war you wanted to prevent. No matter how dramatic the measures you resorted to, at least Ravka would not now have to deal with the united forces of Shu-Han and Fjerda. And as you could notice in the centuries we spent together, I do not support idiots and ignorants like your dear Alina."

"So you are here to say that you see my point of view, and actually you want to take my side? Perhaps you are even jealous of my 'relationship' with the Sun Summoner?" He mocks you as he approaches the bars.

You stand up furiously from your seat and approach him too, seeing only the red fire of your rage as he dares to throw your jealousy in your face.

"No. I came here to see you writhing in this cage, irritated and eager to take some action, maybe even plotting some king's slaughter. I didn't expect to be left with a boring shell of who you used to be."

"I am terribly sorry if I disappointed your expectations. Do you see now how it feels on the other side of your own treatment?"

You stare at each other for a long moment, both of you seething with anger, resentment, and bitterness built up over years of you ignoring him and running away from him and his distrust and anger towards you.

"We broke up."

"Indeed we did."

"Then why did you come back to it?"

"And why did you come back now?" You shiver at his words and pull away from him. You try desperately to maintain your neutral posture, but it becomes an increasingly difficult task as he hits all the right spots.

"Your girl ruined my peace with the war that shouldn't have happened and wouldn't have if you were in power. I couldn't stay any longer in my hiding place. Even if I wished so. I had to come and clean up your mess."

"Alina is more than you care to think about her. Much more." His words hurt you, but you know they were the best answer to your lie. After all, nothing connected you anymore. It was logical that he would defend his Sun Summoner. His little damn Sankta.

"I don't care what she is. But order your little minions once more to put me to sleep, or do anything against my will, and I promise you, Aleksander, you will remember why it's not worth teasing me."

"I remember the times you loved my teasing." He replies with a small cocky grin. And you don't know what you want to do more, punch him in the face or kiss him for being so frustratingly, irritatingly absurdly handsome.

"Don't recall them if you despise them so much."

"Why? Because you regret what you have done? Because you realise how terrible a mistake you made. Because you want back what you lost ages ago? Because you know that we could have so much more if it weren't for your selfish actions?"

"How dare you, you demon from the woods..." You growl at him furiously and step closer to the bars, tightening your hands on them in an attempt to vent your anger on him.

"I am. You shall never forget this, witch without a coven."

"And who is the reason I don't have one?" Your words ignite a fury so hot and great that he presses his body against the bars as well. You stare furiously into each other's eyes, and you know that if his power were not in bondage, the room would be filled with his shadows right now.

"I never asked you for anything or for sacrificing anything for me. What you did for me then... it didn't matter when you did this only because you felt guilty. Not after what you did TO me."

"But you asked me once to stay with you. No matter what. Remember?" You raise a questioning eyebrow at him, summoning old, distant memories. And even though centuries had passed since those events… It didn't mean it hurt any less with the passage of time.

"How convenient for you to keep only those promises that suit you. Now I'd appreciate it even more if you'd disappear for good. Or rotted in some nameless grave." You slam your hand against the bars, making him shiver in surprise at your sudden outburst.

You feel your power tingling under your skin, begging to be released and unloaded on him, but unfortunately, the last thing your stupid heart wants to do is hurt that big, stubborn idiot. So while your heart is busy calming your wild power, your wounded pride takes over and controls your mouth, providing a perhaps more painful weapon than your magic.

"Fuck off, Aleksander. You can get rid of every little reminder of your past, but you'll never get rid of me. We're too deeply connected with each other, and you damn well know it. You'll see me forever, everywhere, in every fucking breeze, the scent of flowers, and the glow of crystals. And you know how I know that? Because despite all these centuries of you being far away, I still see you in every fucking corner. In every dream, in every place, in every little memory of the past I recall. I feel you with every breath, every blink, every little touch—exactly in the places you used to cherish my skin. You've tainted everything I know and love. We are a scourge to each other and always will be. And until Ravka becomes a relatively safe place to live again, we are both condemned to each other's company."

"There is a very simple solution to all of this." He says and looks at the heart-shaped pendant hanging around your neck. You swallow hard and catch it tightly in your hand, protecting it from his gaze. "Haven't you ever thought about that? To cut yourself off from this for good? From me? You can finally be free. Maybe you'll even find your peace?"

"There is no peace for me. And neither for you." You see that your words have caused some internal stirring in his conscience.

He hesitantly places his hand on yours and takes your chin in his hand—the one on which he has a black scar from the amplifier with which he connected with Alina. You hold your breath as he strokes the line of your jaw with the pad of his thumb, staring at you intently, too mesmerised by his sudden closeness and tenderness from him after centuries apart to listen to your better judgement and pull away. You cling to him blindly. You fall into the trap of his dark eyes as you drown in his touch.

"I'm tired of fighting, Y/N. I will find peace. Even if it means losing the lives of thousands of others."

"Even my life?"

"We both know that your death would be my salvation." You smile bitterly and snort as if he's just told a funny joke. But in reality, you're doing everything in your power to keep the tears from falling from your eyes.

"Same here." You mumble, focusing your gaze on the black scar on his hand instead of his eyes, afraid his dark depths will somehow see through your lies.

You hold your breath as he grabs your chin tightly and forces you to look into his eyes. His fingers dig into your skin unpleasantly, but you don't care. You're drowning in his angry, hurtful, resentful gaze, unable to move an inch.

"Ex-lovers quarreling? Should I just go out and wait until Mom and Dad make up?" Ulla's sudden intrusion makes us both recoil from each other as if burned. You clear your throat and glare at the black-haired one madly.

"Don't call me that. I am not old like that hag who gave birth to you."

"You are talking about my mother."

"Mother, you hate, as I would like to point out. Actually, I start to wonder if there is anyone who didn't deserve your wrath, my dark general." You scoff at his remark, knowing full well that his relationship with Baghra has only worsened since you left. With a little unwanted help from you…

"In case you haven't noticed, all those dear to my heart that I came to dislike have a tendency to betray me."

"In case you haven't noticed, they may not be cheating on you, but doing what's best for you, you stubborn, damn, proud fool who can't see beyond the tip of his own dick!"

In your anger at him, you step too close to the bars, giving him the perfect opportunity to grab you by the neck. And he does. You gasp in surprise and instinctively reach for the pendant around your neck, holding the glass heart in his secure grip. Aleksander wraps his other hand around yours, trying to squeeze it hard enough to break the glass heart you try so hard to protect.

You gasp, struggling to take even one short breath, and look him straight in the eye as you mumble the words of the spell with the last of your strength. Aleksander hisses in pain and releases his grip on your necklace, but he still holds you tightly by the neck to the point where you know he'll leave bruises in the shape of his hand and fingers... which doesn't bother you as much as it should...

"Okay, stop! Both of you!" Ulla walks over to the two of you. Aleksander shifts his gaze from you to her for a moment. You feel his hand on your throat tremble as he considers letting you go. "Sasha, let her go. Before you do something entirely stupid that you will regret."

Aleksander hesitates for a few moments, then lets you go. You don't give him the satisfaction of moving away from him. You take a few deep breaths, staring at him with a hateful, cold gaze that he stubbornly avoids by looking at his sister.

"Torment me again, and I promise Ivan will put you to sleep for a thousand years." He mutters his empty threat without even looking at you, which gives you reason enough to decide you'd rather fucking die than give him the last word in this little argument between the two of you.

"If you wanted me to be your sleeping beauty and you to be my prince, all you had to do was ask, Aleksander." You mock him, and he moves to grab you painfully by the throat again. But before you can respond with one of your curses, Ulla steps between the two of you and gives you both a disappointed, irritated look.

"Y/N! That's enough for today."

"I didn't start…"

"Y/N!"

"Fine! Got it. I am on my way." You raise your hands and walk out of the barred room, but not before sticking your tongue out at Aleksander—something that escapes Ulla's watchful eye because her back is turned to you.

And as you leave, you wonder how the hell you're supposed to get this dense, stubborn asshole to cooperate when he clearly still despises your insides as much as he did all those centuries ago.

"Is that what you call taming him?"

You sigh and stop in your tracks on your way to your rooms. You close your eyes and tilt your head back, cursing the name of every saint you know under your breath before turning to the person you hate most in the world with a fake smile.

"Baghra. I wish I had the mood and time to talk to you. Unfortunately, I don't have the former, and I'd rather spend the latter on something else. Have a nice night." You turn on your heel, intending to make a quick escape, but the woman summons her shadows, blocking your path. You sigh, tired of dealing with another Morozova, and face Baghra again.

"Your methods don't work." You almost growl at the pretentious tone in her voice. She expected you to work a miracle, knowing full well what her son was like… and knowing full well why he was as hostile towards you as he was.

"Did you really think he'd just follow me and hang on every word I say? He's not some fucking puppet you can order around. He needs to trust me again. At least when it comes to saving Ravka and Grisha."

"Well, it seems like he won't come to it so soon. I thought you had a little more influence on him. Maybe you actually broke his naive little heart?"

The silence that follows her words is like a slap in the face to your pride. You can barely push back the unbidden tears, and it takes a huge amount of effort to control yourself when Baghra is giving you her infamous mocking smile. The old woman had the irritating ability to scratch open wounds that you thought had long since healed. Besides, she knew perfectly well what, or rather who, your only sweet spot was.

"Then I did exactly what you wanted, right?" You ask; he winces a little when he hears the slight tremor in your voice. Damn witch.

"I told him to stay away from you. But the stupid boy didn't listen; he loved you so much. Witches like you, wielding such power... you're all the same. You have no feelings. Self-absorbed, wanting to live forever. Tell me, Y/N, what did you need your eternity for? Was it worth it to fight for? Has it paid off for you to deceive my stupid son for so many centuries?"

"Without Aleksander by my side? No. But at least I can keep an eye on him. At least I can make sure that he will survive long enough to get his happy ending. And torment you forever. Until the end of time, my dear mother-in-law. Or your death. I personally prefer this one." You give her a contemptuous look and turn away from her, walking into the darkness of her shadows to reach your rooms and escape, just for a while, from feelings of guilt, helplessness, and wrath that the damned Morozovas have aroused in you.

"What do you mean by mother-in-law?" Baghra asks, confounded, but fortunately she doesn't follow you. She's everything but dumb. She won't expose herself to possible harm as a result of you unleashing your wild power.

"Ask your son!" You shout over your shoulder, not stopping for a moment.

You know perfectly well that a minute longer in Baghr's company would make you cry. And you promised yourself that this old witch would never be the reason for your despair again… her son was another matter.

So when you get to your room, you wave your hand over the windows to close the curtain with your magic, turn off all the lights, and let yourself curl up on your bed. You sob quietly, lying on your side, legs drawn up as you grip the necklace tightly in your hand and let yourself have a much-needed crying session. Your head spins as your power slides through you, causing storms outside. And you can only hope that Ulla is keeping Aleksander busy enough that he doesn't see the rain your crying has caused. The last thing you need is to show him how much you still care.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" You shiver as Aleksander wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on your bare shoulder. His light stubble pricks your skin, but you don’t care, too fascinated by the rings on your joined hands.

"About 10 times, but who's counting?" You mumble and turn around in his arms. A smile creeps onto your face as you gently cup his cheek in your hand. "Husband. That's weird."

"Weird? Why?" He asks, frowning at you in confusion. Yet his grip on you doesn't loosen at all; if anything, he tightens it, protectively wrapping himself around you, as if his touch alone would be enough of an anchor for your raging thoughts.

"I can't believe that such a handsome and powerful man is mine. Only mine." You whisper and press your lips to his cheek.

You smile, feeling his breathing quicken slightly, and you start to feel his familiar, comforting scent surrounding you. And warmth. Which was pretty important, considering you were in a cold, damp, abandoned cabin in the woods. All alone, out of nowhere. You wouldn't trade that honeymoon for anything.

"I was yours long before we exchanged those rings. And I will be yours long after today. For as long as my heart beats and beyond. You are a part of my soul, connected to me by a force I cannot fathom. And I am grateful for anything or anyone that bound us together, that brought you on my path."

"You can't promise me things like that. You don't know what the future will bring." You mumble, panting as he begins to press kisses into your neck. You sigh and tug on his hair as he bites into you. You decide that the beard is a rather… nice new accessory. Especially when it teases your skin so nicely.

"But I can promise you today. And then tomorrow. And the day after that. And so on and so forth, until all eternity."

“Assuming we have forever.” You moan, intoxicated by both his words and the caresses of his lips and hands as he slowly removes your dress.

"I will fight with everything I have to always have you by my side." He promises fervently, cupping both of your cheeks and placing a hot kiss on your lips that instantly warms your insides. You smile as he pushes you onto the bed.

"Even with your mother?" You tease him and raise a questioning eyebrow at him. You almost break and snort at his hurt expression.

"I'm offended that my mother even crosses your mind in this situation, let alone that you're brave enough to talk about her." He mutters menacingly and reaches for your sides.

Before you can react, he's tickling you, attacking all your weak points. You laugh and squirm beneath him, screaming at him and cursing him to stop, but he just laughs and redoubles his efforts. And as much as you can't breathe anymore and are almost crying from his teasing, you enjoy his wicked, carefree laughter.

“Mercy! Mercy!” You cry out with laughter, and he finally takes pity on you. You laugh some more, recovering as he simply hovers over you and looks at you, drinking in your dishevelled appearance beneath him. “What?” You gasp, breathing deeply and wiping tears from the corners of your eyes.

“Nothing. I love you,” he says and shrugs. Your heart clenches and warms at his words, and another wave of tears nearly fills your eyes as he reaches for your hand with the silver claw ring he placed there just an hour ago.

“I love you too. More than anything.” You mumble, grabbing the glass heart that dangles from his necklace—your wedding gift to him—and pulling him to you, connecting your lips in a needy, heated kiss.

You would give away all the treasures in the world to have back that ring on your finger instead of the heavy pendant on your neck that felt like a muzzle for you. The muzzle of your eternal sin against Aleksander and you both.

"You again?" You allow yourself to roll your eyes when you enter his cell a few days later, which he greets with his mocking smile and cold gaze. He frowns, however, when this time, instead of sitting in the chair like you always did, you walk over to the bars separating him from you.

"Do not worry. I won't bother you much longer. Actually, I came to say goodbye."

You say and hand him a small box through the bars. You wait patiently for him to come over and take it from you, but his wounded pride apparently won't let him do even that. You roll your eyes as he turns his back to you and shifts his gaze to the book in his hands.

"Goodbye? That's not really in your style. Since when do you say goodbye instead of disappearing into obscurity?" He mocks you without even bothering to look at you. You swallow and nod, only now realising just how deep his resentment of you runs. But you don't have the strength to fight him any longer.

"Well, I learnt that from you, but since we're not together anymore, I guess I'm ditching your habits for some new ones."

Over the centuries, you and Aleksander have gotten back together and broken up a million times. You let him come back into your life as if he had never ripped your heart out and taken it with him countless times. Each time he was leaving, he put his plan into action to ensure that Grisha was safe from whatever enemy they currently had. He was choosing the good of his people over yours.

Every grand plan that was supposed to end with the restoration of freedom for Grisha usually ended in failure. And every time, he came back to you. To your arms. To hide there from the world, lick his wounds, and hide his shadows in the safety of your home.

But just as suddenly as he came, he left you. All for Grisha. His whole life was dedicated to ensuring a better fate for his people than he had as a child. And so he ended up in a cell. Alone. Maybe not completely. You knew he had many supporters in the 'underground.' But what good were supporters when he had no one to stand by his side? Supported through thick and thin?

On the other hand… you never joined him in his plans. You always stuck to your own woods and paths… it was pure fate that for a time you both followed the same one.

"Well, I'm actually glad about that. I should have noticed sooner that you're just like everyone else. The greatest liar among liars. A witch without a coven that no one ever trusted or wanted to be near."

You give him a small smile, perfectly keeping your true emotions from surfacing. You drop the box and let your magic transport it to the table he's sitting at. With a quick wave of your hand, you make the box clatter loudly against the wooden table.

Luckily, that catches his attention enough for him to finally look at you.

"You want to talk about liars and cheaters? Go ahead. There's a big war coming. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. Alina and Nikolai won't let the Fjerda get away with invading their lands and killing Grisha like they used to do and still do. So why do you pretend it doesn't bother you? That it doesn't concern you? Why do you sit here obediently and do nothing when we both know you have the means to escape? Who are you trying to convince that you don't care anymore about your people, us, or yourself?"

This time, you are the one to look away from him. You don't wait for his response and just move away from him. You walk over to the part of his bookcase that wasn't behind bars, running your finger over the titles on them.

"And who is us?" A shiver runs through your body, and you thank yourself for keeping your back to him. You don't know what he would read on your face as you say your next words.

"Ulla. Me. People that really care about you."

"You left me." He points out stubbornly again, as if you didn't know what you had done against him.

But the truth was that you had both hurt each other equally. It was just easier for him to blame you than for you. Or maybe your guilt against him was actually greater than whatever he did behind your back...

"You didn't mourn my leaving much."

"Maybe I mourned too many in my life to add you to this list?"

When you finally find the book you were looking for, you take it and turn to face him. He steps towards the bars, his hand around one and his gaze fixed on you. You can barely hold back a small smile as you see his shadows hovering in the corners of his cell.

"Believe what you want… but not everything was a lie between us, Aleksander. And you've had your fair share of lies for me, before I've even considered doing what you hate me for. Does the fact that you managed to tell me your lies before Baghra reported my secrets to you make any difference? You and I... we are similar. I am a witch without a coven, and you are a Grisha without an order. We are both alone in this world. But I admired the fact that you continued to fight, even when everyone else was against you. You may have been a villain in everyone else's story, but you've always been a hero in mine. In Ulla's. We admired you for what you were, for the strong leader who would do anything for his family and people. And who are you now?"

"I am the man your lies and manipulation created. All of yours. My mother's, Alina's, yours. So don't you dare stay here and say that I am meant to be something more when you stabbed me in my back and left when I needed you the most."

"You hated me then."

"And what gives you the impression that I still don't?" That I didn't need you even when I was furious with you?"

"I..." You're at a loss for words. You have no idea how to answer him, especially when the stormy blackness of his eyes overwhelms you as much as his words.

He couldn't mean them, could he? He couldn't be mad that you left him. He had to play with you… There was no way he'd want you around after you'd supposedly betrayed him.

You snort and shake your head at his words. No. You won't let him enter your mind and manipulate you. Although… You can't say your heart has shifted indifferently at the revelation he's told you. Because what if he really needed you by his side? What if… he loved you more than he hated you?

"It doesn't matter. Say what you want or get out." Well, his words only prove that you are right about this. And they reassure you in the decision you want to make.

"I'm going north with Alina. You can either join us or rot here. And to be honest, I don't care anymore. I was never your enemy, Aleksander. But if you so desperately need one, then all right. Make me your villain. But know that everything I did, I did for you. For us. Even if I hurt you in my desperate attempts to protect you, for which I do not intend to apologize. Everything I did, I did for us, for you. But maybe it really is time to change things between us once and for all."

After your words, you take a few seconds to look at him. Your gaze lazily follows his dark hair, his eyes, the set of his jaw. Without a word, you nod to him and leave, as if saying goodbye for the very last time.

"Protect me from what?" You hear him walk over to the table and open the package in a hurry. Then he freezes when he sees the familiar object you've placed there. "Y/N?! Answer me! Y/N!" He shouts after you, banging on the metal bars, but you don't spare him a second glance. You just walk out of there, hoping your little trick will work.

Because if he won't follow you to war after you give him a necklace with his blood—the same blood you tricked him into taking and enchanting to give you immortality—then you don't know what'll get him out of that stupid cell.

Taglist (I hope that everyone who wanted to be there are there. If not, I am soooooooooo soooo sorry): @aoi-targaryen @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat @barnes70stark

@zeeader @the-desilittle-bird

@thepassionatereader @budugu

@sinistersnakey @diaries-of-a-hopelessromantic

@aryhyuuga

@oh-thats-cute

@meadows5

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 63

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 60, part 61, part 62

this takes place after part 44

The water is cold around his calves. On that stretch of skin that keeps dipping in and out of the water. Not deciding whether or not it’s just best to jump in or stay on the land.

This is probably the deepest Steve’s been in pool since Barb died. Every time he tried before, he never made it past his ankles. The water stung too much with regret. The feeling that he failed, the wrongness of knowing that this was someone’s final resting place.

He let the kids use it. Took care of it. Made it look like everything else in this house, perfect. But to Steve, to Nancy, this water would be better off drained. That way it wouldn’t be a reminder of that night.

When he came outside, he didn’t know why. Just that the moonlight reflecting off the water was taunting him. Danced across his bedroom ceiling. Reminded him of the truth that rested within him. The truth that everyone can see.

Eddie saw it. Read him like a book and threw it back to him. It hurt more than Steve thought it would when Eddie figured it out, the rotten secret of him. That when the crown got ripped from his skull, there’s nothing else of worth left to keep. It’s something Steve’s known all his life. If the crown were still in his grasp, he’d cling to it like his last lifeline.

The water was a fitting reminder of that. No matter how hard Steve tried, he couldn’t find someone that he was enough for. They all eventually ran from him, turned on him. Left him alone. It was here, in this water, that the most meaningful romantic relationship in his life broke before it ever properly began. Nancy never forgave them for abandoning Barb that night. Steve was too busy trying to forget enough to be able to sleep at night to be there for her. He loved her, she didn’t love him. He was bullshit.

Love was bullshit. It was stupid, and reckless, and just left him hurt in the end. And for the first time, it really felt like Steve was building something again. Eddie was hurting, and he knew that. It’s why he didn’t stop him. Just let him keep yelling, saying insults that Steve’s heard before. None of it stung, because he knew the reason.

But then the house was put up for sale, his paycheck was eaten up by the rent his dad was still making him pay, and he was left vulnerable.

Those words left Eddie’s lips and proved Steve right. This was going to end just like the others.

The door slides open and shut behind him, the sound of crutches approaching him.

“Would I be too much of an asshole to ask you to help me sit down?” Eddie joked, but it came out wrong. The levity refusing breaking through.

Steve stayed quiet, looking down at his hands. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m going to take that as a yes. Give me a second.”

Eddie backs up, setting down one of his crutches behind Steve, using the other one for stability as he bends to the ground. Getting into a sitting position before scooting forward to the edge of the pool. He takes off his shoes, and dips his feet into the water, and waits.

If he thinks Steve is going to say something, he’s wrong. Steve said what he needed to, more would come in time. He’s angry at himself more than anything. For letting himself open up to someone and give them just the right ammo to kill him. For thinking it would be different this time.

After a few minutes of silence, just the sounds of the bugs and the water, Eddie starts to speak.

“I’ve spent the past hour trying to figure out what I can do to make what I said go away, and I can’t. Normal apologies won’t cut it, not with you. Not with how I just hurt you. And I’m not sure if you’ll believe me when I tell you I didn’t mean it. That I think it’s wrong. But it is, and I believe that. What I said was out of pain so bad it clouded any solid train of thought I had, it doesn’t mean I believe it.”

What’s worse, is Steve does believe him. The small spark that he holds tight in his chest ignites. Hope rippling through his body. Foolish hope. He believes that Eddie didn’t mean it. Simply because he wants to believe it too.

“You just,” Eddie continues. Steve glances over at him, seeing how Eddie stares off in the distance. The water reflecting in his eyes. “You keep surprising me, Steve. You haven’t stopped. I had this image of you in my mind, and every time I rewrite it, you do something that makes me rewrite it again. And each version is so much better than the last. You are so much more than anyone ever gives you credit for, and I hate that I made you think that you’re not.”

Eddie looks at Steve, and for the first time, the words aren’t betrayed by the look in someone’s eyes. For the first time, Steve believes them.

He turns. “Barb Holland died right over there,” he points to the diving board. “While me and Nancy were in my room. I had thrown this party that night, invited her. It was really just Tommy and Carol, but I wanted to impress her. She brought Barb, her best friend, and we were too wrapped up in each other to make sure she got home.”

Eddie is listening to him closely, looking at Steve with something he can’t comprehend. That look in his eyes, that affection, it isn’t earned. It feels so wrong to try to keep but so right to have.

“Right before we broke up, Nancy told me that our whole relationship was bullshit. That she didn’t love me. She was drunk, but I think she meant it, even if she didn’t realize it. She never forgave herself for what happened to Barb, never forgave me. It was going to end eventually; I just didn’t think it was going to like that. I was bullshit.”

It’s what kept ringing through his mind when Eddie said that he was never good enough for anyone to stay. Bullshit. That damned word swirling around every example his mind pulled to prove Eddie right.

Now that the pain starts to subside, he can see the ways that people show him it’s not true. How Robin, even when she had every chance to leave, stayed around. Trusted him enough to tell him her secret, and trusted him enough to know that it didn’t matter to him. He loved her for her. She was the best friend he’s ever had.

Dustin looked up to him for a reason he didn’t understand. He worked a shitty retail jobs while trying to figure out what to do with his life. Didn’t go to college, probably never will. When Dustin had so much promise it was crazy. But he still looked up to Steve. Cared more about him than he ever knew.

Then there was Eddie. Who looked at him like he had nothing to prove. Didn’t make Steve justify why he was different, why he changed. Saw it and accepted it as truth. He didn’t make Steve feel stupid for not getting references, or for taking an extra step to get to the conclusion.

“I’m scared someone’s going to look at me again and tell me that she was right,” he finishes.

“You’re not bullshit, Steve. You’re like the furthest thing from it.”

Even now, he’s trying to make Steve feel better. He’s in pain and is trying to make Steve feel better. He can disguise it as an apology for what he said, but this was deeper than that. It was so much deeper than that to Steve.

What Steve felt for Eddie, without even trying, was deeper than anything he’s felt in a long time. He hasn’t felt like this since Nancy, but it was totally different this time. He wanted to run from it, wanted to pretend it didn’t exist, but he couldn’t.

It was the most terrified Steve had been in a long time.

“You’re like,” Eddie smiles, “one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. And you’re brave as hell, strong, courageous. Kinda really funny and fun to be around.” He gets really close to Steve, practically leaning on him.

Steve pushes him away with his shoulder, the tension leaving his shoulders. A smile coming back. “Shut up, man.”

“What,” Eddie exclaims. “It’s true. I see it, Robin sees it, the kids see it. I’m sure if you asked Nancy now, she’ll tell you that.”

“Yeah, ok, sure.”

Eddie leans close again. The warmth making Steve’s heart beat loud in his chest. “I’m right and you know it. You’re a total catch, man. Anyone would be lucky to get to date you.”

“Ok, I’m not that great of a boyfriend, you haven’t seen that.”

“Don’t need to, I just know. I’m not sure why you’re so terrified, someone has to see that. Hell, I’m not sure how anyone ever let you get away. I know if I ever got the chance, I’d—"

Eddie lets the sentence trail off, his tongue traveling faster than his brain, but Steve doesn’t let him regret it. Instead, Steve does something reckless. Reaching out his hand and pulls him closer before he has the thought to back away.

He didn’t have to do much, they were practically this close anyway. Still, his muscles tense with that anticipation he knows so well. That feeling that rushes through his veins only encourages him. The motions he’s done so many times before.

But really, if someone were to ask him later, he had no idea what he was doing.

Eddie stills when their lips meet, taken by surprise. Steve almost pulls away before he feels him press back. Hand coming up to grip his arm, keeping him still. Keeping them in that moment, just a bit longer.

“That’s why I’m terrified,” Steve says when they break. Eyes flicking up to meet Eddie’s. The intensity held in them burning right through him. “When you said that in the kitchen, I thought it was the same thing again.”

Eddie blinks. Keeping Steve’s gaze. “It wasn’t. It was the opposite really. I was trying to push you away before you got the chance to leave.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to burden you.”

Steve shakes his head. “You can’t burden me. You’re not burdening me. We all have our own baggage, the things we have to deal with. I know that. I care about it because I care about you, but not because it’s burdening me.”

Silence fills again. The two of them trapped in this moment, in this gaze. It’s so heavy, meaningful, real. Steve wants to drown in it. Fall so far deep into it he can never get back out.

“Eddie,” his voice breaks off. The intensity of what he’s about to say makes the words get lodged in his throat. He breaks the gaze, just so he can be brave enough to say it. “I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way about someone before,” Eddie adds his confession. He can hear the hesitancy to say it. Just as afraid as Steve is.

Eddie’s hand comes up and rests on his neck, slides back into his hair. So easily bringing him in again. Kissing him like it will all break the moment it’s over. With such care and delicacy, it makes Steve feel like he’s worth it. That his fears, his hope, are mirrored back at him.

It doesn’t feel risky anymore. It feels carefully curated the way a famous painting is. Meticulously planned and cared for. Loved. Everything falling into place that as it should, nothing standing out to take perfection away. The ending exactly as it was meant to.

It feels right. The voices in Steve’s head silenced, letting the excited hum take over. Because, despite all the nervous fear, in this moment, Steve was excited.

i can't believe there's only one more part of this fic, what am I supposed to do when this is done?

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[saintsandsorcery]

“We’re a long way from Waterdeep”

About Gale and Tavs relationship and how quickly it progressed…

He wonders whether Tav is as anxious as he is. Do they lie awake at night and ask themselves if he really wants to be right there, beside them, or if it’s just a habit? A habit established from fear and uncertainty and instability. The one thing each of them knew back then was that the other was waiting at the end of the day, would cast aside their weapons, their amour, find the familiar body beneath - what else were they supposed to do? They were in this together.

And the role they had been forced into, the immense weight of the world on their shoulders – he would have done anything to ease their burden.

He glances at them, their calm, serene features, and asks himself if they wanted this the way he did. Do they ever fear that he will have left in the morning, never to return? Do they ever hold their dirtied, bloodied travelling clothes and whish to be dresses in them instead of the clean, soft silk they tended to choose now? Tav was a wild and lovely thing, untameable, loud. His own life up until meeting them – well, until Mystra – was one he simply couldn’t imagine Tav enjoying.

Waterdeep, the city he had lived in all his life seemed almost bland compared to his beloved. He could have spent hours listening to Tav haggle with the merchants at the market down by the docks, could easily pinpoint ever little thing he loved about them in every interaction, every movement. He adored how straightforward they could be, he learned to love the way they left little notes and comments in his books – every trace of them being there in the first place brought him joy.

Tav hums to themselves as they check over the leafs of one of their plants. They keep them on the windowsill in the library, Gale gifts them a new one every now and then. It became another little habit – he used to being them bouquets but after watching the sad look in Tavs eyes as the flowers wilted, he chose potted plants instead. Since they settled in the tower together it has almost become an indoor garden. Tav adores caring for the flowers, watching them bloom. The one they turn their attention to has deep red petals. “Gale? What do you think?” they ask, lifting the flowerpot and presenting it to their husband. “Should we place in in the bedroom or in the kitchen?”

All perfectly normal. As if they had never saved the world, as if it wasn’t common knowledge what Gale and Tav were capable of. What they could do if they whished to.

It doesn’t take long for Tav to notice, of course - that grey cloud hanging over his head, the eye contact that doesn’t last, the uncharacteristic silence. When they ask him what’s wrong he almost expects it. Almost. Despite all the preparation he stumbles over his own words, every worry that had gnawed at him the past months surfacing and Tav sitting across from him, listening patiently. “I love you,” he whispers as they hold him close. “Did I ever tell you?”

“A few times, maybe.” They smile at him, brushing their lips against his. “But I’ll never get tired of hearing you say it.”

[yurlittleangle]

Yan!Male Stalker x Fem!Influencer Reader

Ask: Yandere male stalker X influencer Fem reader. He's in a parasocial relationship with her and she's a twitch streamer, (THIS IS OPTIONAL YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT.) maybe something a long the lines where he comes to give her a Valentine's Day gift, but he creeps her out or sent and freaks out

The neon glow of your gaming setup lit up the room as the chat flowed rapidly across your screen. Hearts and emotes of all kinds flooded your monitor as your voice, light and playful, danced through your headset. The Valentine’s Day stream was in full swing, and your audience—affectionately dubbed your “Valentine Squad”—was eating it up.

“Thank you, guys! This support means everything to me,” you said, flashing your signature smile. Your voice was genuine, but there was a tinge of exhaustion. Streaming for hours straight, constantly reading comments, and trying to stay energetic was draining. Still, it was worth it.

Among the sea of usernames, one stood out: AlwaysWatching92.

They were one of your most consistent viewers, always in your streams, always donating just enough to stay noticed, but not so much as to come off as too obsessive. Or at least, that’s what they thought. You had already begun to notice the patterns: the long, heartfelt messages; the way they seemed to know personal details you had never shared online; the slightly unhinged tone in their comments when you didn’t acknowledge them fast enough.

“Alright, guys, let’s take a quick break,” you said, hitting your BRB screen. Your voice softened, the artificial cheer dropping for a moment.

As you stepped away from your desk, a sudden knock at your apartment door startled you. It was late. Too late for anyone to visit.

Your heart skipped as you approached cautiously, peering through the peephole. What you saw made your stomach sink.

A man stood there, clutching a bouquet of roses and a small, heart-shaped box. He felt disturbingly familiar—too familiar. His mask matched the profile picture of AlwaysWatching92.

You hesitated, unsure if you should even open the door, but he noticed the shadow of your figure through the peephole.

“I-I’m sorry to come unannounced,” he stammered, his voice muffled through the door. “I just… I wanted to give you something special for Valentine’s Day. You deserve it.”

Your breath caught in your throat. He shouldn’t know where you lived.

“How… How did you find me?” you asked, your voice trembling despite yourself.

There was a long pause. “It—it wasn’t hard. You mentioned your favorite coffee shop once, and I—I just followed a few clues… I wanted to surprise you.”

Your chest tightened. “Look, this isn’t okay. You need to leave.”

“But I—I thought we had something special,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’ve been there for you every stream, every moment. I’ve supported you when no one else did!”

“You don’t even know me!” you snapped, anger flaring past your fear.

The silence that followed was deafening. Then, his voice dropped to something darker, more desperate.

“I know you better than anyone else. Your favorite color, your laugh, the way you look when you’re tired… I’ve spent hours with you. Days. Months. You can’t just push me away!”

Your hands shook as you fumbled for your phone. You started dialing emergency services when he suddenly shouted, “No! Don’t do that! Please! I—I’ll leave, okay? I just wanted you to know how much I care about you!”

You stayed silent, your phone trembling in your grip.

Finally, you heard his footsteps retreating. You waited several minutes before looking through the peephole again. He was gone, but the flowers and box of chocolates remained on your doormat, a sinister reminder of his presence.

You locked the door and called the police, your voice shaking as you explained the situation.

As you returned to your desk, the glowing monitor and cheerful chat felt alien, like a relic from a life you no longer inhabited. You forced yourself to smile and address your audience, pretending nothing had happened.

But in the corner of your room, your phone buzzed.

A new message:

Unknown Number: I’m sorry if I scared you. I’ll be better. Just don’t forget about me.

[burdenandacrop]

˗ˏˋ ❝ all behind you now. ❞ ˎˊ˗

request from the lovely @memento-rory, i apologize for the slip up you might've seen where i posted a blank version ! did not mean to do that ... anyhow ! i'm sorry men r jerks and i hope this gives you some comfort ... even if this is almost two weeks late, don't hate me i love u so dearly.

summary : after building up the foundations of a relationship, it all comes to a crumble. so you did the only thing you knew best, go to him. since he always knew best.

⋮ ⌗ ┆fluff, friends to lovers, comfort, fem reader.

you stared down at your phone for what felt like hours, turns out it was just five minutes. the words 'this just isn't working for me' that your eyes were burning a hole through your screen over. so many sleepless nights spent to dedicate yourself to a man, or at least attempting to. all the effort, vulnerability, or whatever the hell, just wasted. you sniffle up and aggressively wipe away your tears that were beginning to fall, as if you were angry at the fact you were letting it get to you this much. you knew your worth, just why did it change when it came to him? you could've sworn you saw something so beautiful with this one, something that could've been so good. could've. why was it could've?

you shakily sigh and begin pressing your thumbs down to text him back, you knew you were working off only anger. that would only bite you in the ass, but you really didn't have much common sense in the moment. you sent off a message, was it maybe a bit too bitchy? yeah, but it was also bitchy of him to call things off right after you gave every last bit of you for the past few months. just for it to play right back into hook-up culture. you clicked your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of your bed, sighing into your hands as you wished the touch of your skin would bring you back to reality. a different reality, even. just a reality where you didn't cling onto shitty men for validation and act surprised when the guy who 'keeps things casual' isn't your prince charming. you knew the whole fantasy of love was merely a joke to you, or at least in your atmosphere. your luck just was shit.

you plop onto your back, you were already dressed up considering you were ready for the date you were supposed to go on. it all just felt so stupid. the stupid amount of time it took to do your hair, how messy your floor was from trying to pick out the perfect outfit for him. it was all for him. guess that was a waste. you sigh as you look up to your ceiling, hoping just something would talk to you. give you some opening of what was supposed to happen. it wasn't clear on what the hell you were going to do, it just felt hopeless at the end of the day. your queen sized bed was always going to have a cold side. your shower was always just going to be your products. you'd never have a big pair of boots by your sneakers beside the front door. what a cruel joke. suddenly, you heard the ear piercing ringtone come from your phone. god, he was probably calling you back over that stupid bitchy comment you just had to get out. way to go bruising your ego further.

you close your eyes for a moment, wondering if it was even worth picking up the phone to see whatever he was going to say to you. he wasn't worth your time, anymore at least. cause, really. what was it going to give you? just another thing to be upset about? you knew your last word was going to piss him off so really, was it worth the struggle of having to go through with that? though, something else was tugging at you. your own pride getting the best of you as you sat up to grab your phone, and rather aggressively. you look at the lit up screen, your knitted eyebrows softening as you realize it wasn't the outcome you were expecting. instead of an angry phone call from your failed lover, it was schlatt. did he get some sort of wave length that you were upset? you slide the answer button and sigh, knowing he'd be able to see how down you looked. too much of a bother to hide.

"hey bi- what the fuck?" schlatt mutters through the phone, his face dropping once he realized how ruined your makeup was. he made a gesture with his hand, waving in front of his face. "what's with the whole-" he continued, you sighed and rolled your eyes. "yeah. i know." you groan out, moving the camera away from your face a bit. it was embarrassing, to say the least. "you know the one dude i've been raving about?" you sigh, watching as you saw the gears in schlatt's head begin to turn, "yeah! so! he called it off today." you add on, immediately making schlatt stuck in a predicament. he really sucked at comforting people, he knew what to do; he just didn't want to. he only thought with logic so this whole deal was just another world to him unfortunately. "oh, well that's. not good?" he stammers out, he knew was probably making matters worse. he just cared about you and wanted to at least try. "you did your makeup and hair? for a breakup?" he adds on, only making you softly curse at yourself and wonder if he was dropped as a baby. like seriously.

"no i didn't fucking-" you take a breath to calm down, you weren't going to be mean to him just because you were angry at something else. that'd just be cruel. "we were supposed to go on a date today and he told me things were ending- like right before i was about to leave." you mumble out, almost embarrassed on the course of events. he just looks into the screen for a moment, trying to reel in any sense into his head so he can be the least bit of helpful in a situation like this. he's had his fair share of heartbreak but he just didn't know how to articulate it with, other people that is. "damn, he had his priorities straight." schlatt sighs out, immediately making you glare at him through the screen. "sorry, sorry. is there anything... i can do?" he stuttered out, he knew he was making this harder than it needed to be. he just was bad with this sort of deal, especially with you.

you close your eyes in frustration, just trying to find a glimmer of peace in this midst of this anger. it just seemed impossible though. "gonna be honest. i don't know. i just wasn't- expecting you to call or anything." you replied, palming your face softly as you tried to reel some sense into your head. "i can come over?" he abruptly stated, making you look back up to the screen in shock. it was kind of out of the ordinary for him to say anything like that. "you don't have to do anything like that." you sigh out, straightening your posture as you held your phone out. "no i know i don't necessarily- have to, but. figured you didn't wanna be alone. something like that." he explained, making you think to yourself. maybe it wouldn't be too bad? you hadn't seen him in about a week and he always managed to make you feel better, even if he was an abrasive asshole as a joke. "alright." you croaked, he clicked his tongue and nodded. you could see him immediately get up and move around with his phone. seemed like he was in his living room based on the background. "gotcha, want anything on the way?" he muttered as he was trying to find his shoes.

you thought to yourself, already feeling a bit guilty from the fact he was driving to come and see you. he had his own schedule and everything so you knew it took a lot for him to do something like this. "no- i'm alright." you mumble out, crossing your legs over as the frustration began to simmer out of you. you watched as you saw his camera shaking around as he was trying to get everything together, his eyes looking back to the camera. "well just sit tight." he gruffly stated, you could hear the jingling of his keys. "clean your face too." he added on, making you glare at him through the screen once more. "just get here safe." you replied with a groan, seeing how his eyes turned up. you couldn't see his bottom part of his face, but it was obvious he was grinning. "yup. see ya." he snickered out, pressing the end call button. leaving you back in the silence once more. maybe this was what you needed, as long as you gave yourself the grace to allow it to happen to you.

it didn't take long for him to arrive at your apartment, the second you heard the knocking you came bolting to your front door. as promised, you cleaned yourself up. didn't stop yourself from crying in the midst of it though, part of you just wanted to blame it on the makeup remover burning your eyes but you knew exactly why. you shuffled yourself in front of the door, flinging it open to see him. holding a bottle of your favorite soda and a smile, he saw how red your face had became from the tears. immediately sighing and stepping forward. "come here." he whispered, in which you immediately broke down and fell into his arms. he just pat your back as you sobbed into his jacket, not really caring whether or not it ruined the quality. "shh shh, it's okay. it's okay." he consoled you, gently shuffling himself so he could still hold onto you as he stepped into the doorway. he looked down to you and pulled away for a moment, kicking the door shut softly.

you wiped your face as you took a step back, looking into his eyes and knowing how miserable you probably looked. "thank you for coming over." you muttered, shaking off your sleeve as you tried to get a hold of yourself. "don't mention it." he whispered, patting the side of your arm. he leaned against the wall and pulled his arm up to display the bottle of soda, "here." he added, handing the bottle over to you with a weakened grin. you roll your eyes and take it, unscrewing it and taking a quick sip of it. was kind of comforting. "i told you i didn't want anything." you gently groaned as you screwed the cap back on. "oh i know, that was just my thing." he replied with a smile. looking over to your living room as he took off his cap to run a hand through his hair, "you wanna sit?" he added, looking back over to you. you itched your eyes and nodded, crossing your arms and turning to walk over to the living room. his hand waving over to gently rub your shoulder as the two of you wandered into the room. he didn't know if it was the right thing to do but he wanted to at least try.

you dramatically plopped onto your couch and criss crossed your legs, leaning back into the numerous pillows. schlatt sighed at the sight and took a seat beside you, giving you a decent amount of space. "am i that terrible?" you groan out, unscrewing your bottle to take another sip as you eyed schlatt. his eyes wandered back over to you, how was he supposed to answer that question? what if he said it wrong? "i wouldn't say so." he answered, fondling with his hands as he spoke. you sunk into the pillows and let out a dramatic groan, "seems like i am." you croaked, the emotions already wanting to build up in you again. you really were a mess, he could see it. was just a shame he really didn't know how to fix this all, as much as he wanted to. just something was holding him back. "it's just a joke. i do everything- literally everything. it's just not enough." you conclude, holding onto your stomach and trying your best to not break down then and there.

he sat there in silence for a moment, unsure if you wanted to continue on or not. he didn't want to take away your light, it's why he was here anyhow. "it just seemed so perfect, i hate it." you added on, he knew you weren't finished. you bit down on the inside of your cheek and brought your knees to your chin with a sigh. he tapped his fingers on his leg before speaking up, "did he say why?" he knew it was probably a stupid question, but he had to at least try. you shrug and pick at the lint of your sock, not even wanting to look in his eyes as you spoke. "said i wasn't what he needed in this phase of his life- which i would get, but. i centered him around everything. why couldn't he do the same?" you explain, the heaviness only growing in your chest as you spoke. schlatt leaned back into the cushion, turning his head over to you as he watched you do your usual anxious antics. it pained him to see you like this but he didn't know the right things to say or do. "busy? was that it?" he questioned, which only brought himself his own questions to himself. he'd just have to digress.

you pout your lip, knowing you were right on the verge of tears again, "yeah? i guess?" you trembled. the hitch in your words only felt like a bullet in schlatt's chest. you closed your eyes and leaned your forehead onto your knees. "why can i change my schedule for people, but they won't ever do it for me?" the tears falling at the end of your words, schlatt felt his heart sink as he watched your body twitch with the tears. he tongued his teeth as he pondered on what to say, he knew it probably wasn't the right thing to say but he had to get it out. "i actually had a recording, for my gaming channel tonight." he admitted, your head raising up as you heard him. "what?" you ask, wiping your nose as you eyed him. he just adjusted himself and sunk his hands into his jacket's pockets. "just saying there's people who'll make changes for you." he admits, fearing if it sounded too much in the moment. you stared at him for a moment, taking in what it really meant. "i didn't know- i'm sorry. you don't have to st-" you begin, but he really wasn't in the mood for anything like that.

"don't do that." he stifles out, dead staring at you. "i wanted to." he sighs out, shuffling his hands around in his pockets. you raise your head higher as you stabilize yourself, "why though? that's like- your whole deal and it's-" you begin, once again, he was not having it. "i wanted to." he cuts in, shaking his head softly. "just because he's a dickhead who cannot make time, doesn't mean i can't." he adds on, catching you off guard. his tone was so sharp, he wasn't smiling or laughing; something to take it back. "i can miss out on a recording. i can miss out on editing a video. i can miss out on- whatever the fuck. it's you." he says, the last words sounding like they weren't meant to leave his lips. "what do you mean, it's me?" you question him further, resting your legs down as you gently perch yourself up. "cause it is you." he replies, knowing he's probably dug himself into a hole. he was already this far, why not just do a flip at this point. "see, the whole thing is. you act like you don't know. yeah, it pisses me off. it pisses me off that you let these men walk all over you and give you the bare minimum when you know for a fact that's not what you deserve." he goes on.

"schlatt-" you start, leaning yourself closer over to him. he just shakes his head and crosses his arms gently. "no, because you needed to hear that. i'm sick and tired of watching you get burnt out by these stupid fucking men who don't even care to realize what i see." he continues, almost surprised that he's letting it get this far. "you're not stupid, far from it." he concludes, looking at you with a familiar look in his eye. then it hit you, it was the same look he gave you all the other times you'd cry to him. was that it? you pout your lips and sink yourself into the couch, what more was there to do or say? he saw how sunken you became from his words, he knew it was harsh. he also had a feeling you didn't really pick up on what he was saying. guess there was only one way. he sighed and scooted closer to you, almost wanting to reach his hand over to you, but hesitated.

your eyes linger over to him as he watched him move in closer, wondering on what he was trying to accomplish. "hey- i'm sorry, okay? it just irritates me." he reassured, the trembling in your lip only worsening. you shuffle yourself into the pillows further and sigh, unsure of what to do. "i just do feel stupid." you mumble, pulling at the end seams of your shirt. schlatt just shook his head and reached out his hand finally, placing it on your knee gently. "you're not. like i said, far from it. you're a smart girl." he fretted, you could hear the fear growing in his tone. he looked to the hand on your knee and slowly took his hand back in his lap. "i feel awfully stupid for thinking someone could actually fall in love with me." your words rang through the air, making schlatt silent for a moment. just looking into your eyes as he felt his body grow heavier with every time you spoke so lowly of yourself. "what's so bad about you, huh?" he stated, wondering on how far he was going to take this. if you would even notice the bait.

you shrug and look around the room, just thinking to yourself if you were just making yourself look more stupid in the process. seemed like a pattern. "i'm all over the place, i'm- clingy at times, i'm just not what most people want. it's like i'm stuck in this teenage mindset." you stammered out, trying your best to keep your eyes away from him. knowing full well he was about to burn a hole through your face by how intensely he was staring at you. "don't know if you've caught on yet but, 'most people' do suck. not your fault. just theirs." he proclaimed, thinking on whether or not that'd actually make you feel better. you just weakly grinned and wiped your face yet again, "jokes over now." you weakly state, only making schlatt drop his shoulders at the foul statement. it just sounded like nails on chalkboard to him, he hated he couldn't get through to you properly. "for the love of god, can i not make it any more clear to you?" he abruptly stated, his voice a bit louder than earlier. catching you off guard and made your blood cold.

"how many times do i have to tell you how smart you are, or how creative you are, or fuck- just how nice i feel around you. for you to get it." schlatt explains further, meanwhile you just sit basically shell shocked. "he's- or any other below the bar man, he's never going to understand you because he doesn't want to. i do. i do." he goes on, the anger in his tone only growing. though it wasn't a scary anger, rather just passionate. "i want to hear you talk about your weird niche interests, i want to know about the random thing you saw on the street because you thought it was funny, i want you to just-" he stops himself, taking a deep breath. "christ, [y/n]. i fucking- i want you." he gruffly states. the two of you sit in silence for a moment, nothing but the sound of your heartbeats could be heard. "and i know. it's such a terrible time to admit that. if it's selfish, strike me down. but-" he begins, his eyes trailing away from you as he began to lose hope from the deafening sound of your silence. "you mean it?" you cut in, your voice almost sharp enough to cut through glass. his eyes shot back to yours.

"course i do." he says barely above a whisper, his eyes searching for any sort of discernment in your face. terrified that'd he eventually find it. "we don't have to inaugurate anything about it, this is about y-" he starts but before he can even get his last word out, you practically leaped onto him and kissed him. it was shocking to you on your part, how this was actually happening. it felt so surreal but right at the same time. maybe it was worth the wait of having to go through so many mediocre men, just had to see what was right in front of you first. he reached his arms to hold around your scalp to pull you in, this was all he could've ever wanted, and it was actually happening. he pulled away for a moment, as if he was trying to access whether or not this was real and not some fucked up dream. "thank you for having the balls to do that, i could never." he snickered out, trying to get a hold of his breath again. you just smiled and trailed your hands along his shoulders. "yeah, had a feeling." you grinned, the lingering thoughts of your failed romance now fading. "well keep that feeling. please." he replied, letting his hands rummage through your hair as he smiled at you.

the two of you just took a moment to look at one another, and really look. maybe it was there all along, just pushed in the back of your head. all you knew is that you were so damn glad you picked up the phone. this is what you were looking for, this is what you'd been day dreaming about. this kind of understanding, and it was right in front of you the entire time.

author's note : AAA !!! i am so sorry this took so long, but with the holidays and all [ blegh ] yknow how it is. i just hope you loved it as much as i loved writing it [ as always teehee ], kisses !!!

[illumiskneecaps]

^_^ compilation

[dreameroftheblue]

I have lost my mind, he hijacked it and lives there now

[al-luviec]

Here is lady pics from when I was MIA

[suddencolds]

~

[ravenxbones]

next up in my revamped kj designs: jet star!! 💫

she is so important to me… the space puppy tattoo is partially because of @eggbagelz’ headcanon which i saw and thought “oh definitely jet would LOVE laika” and the design is (with permission) one of my lovely friend @andpierres’ tattoo flash designs and tattoo tickets are available on his kofi if YOU would like to have a space puppy tattoo on your own skin! :)

as with the last two posts, untextured version under the cut for cleaner details and accurate colors!

[lexydakitten]

abt 5 minutes ago i was just thinking wow im in a really good and silly mood . i wanna be silly do silly thing. i am listening to my favorite song and im gonna do something completely new to me later and im both excited and nervous abt that cuz its a big deal to me. and im in a good mood its almost like a new emotion

and now im realizing that i am shaking. bc i forgot to eat today. and im remembering that this is NOT a new emotion its because my iron is low again. this happened last time too oh my god i'll think im discovering bliss and im just generally happy and. WRONG. iron deficiency. heeeeelpp.... i cant goober like this.... massive problem... my head hurtsss....

[pizzabookbuying]

been going through a bit of a rough patch and I’m gonna try to treat it with fandom will update on effectiveness

[shikai-the-storyteller]

TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:

Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.

Or:

Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).

Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.