#i just remember so vividly getting a weird feeling the first few times i watched those scenes

[reikunrei]

just bc i was thinking about it on my drive home from work:

quiet little quick shoutout to @henrysglock and @aemiron-main for noticing all the weird detail shifts and changes in 001’s appearance during the hnl massacre/confrontation with el. because the first few times i watched it, months before i even thought about becoming active in the fandom on tumblr, i remember thinking “something is weird about this. he keeps looking different, or the color grading keeps changing, or something. something’s weird. it doesn’t feel cohesive” but not really having the reason or wherewithal to focus on it and try to pick apart why it felt weird

thank u kings for having the eyes to catch all those little changes so i could understand just why the whole thing felt slightly off

[seeingivy]

never grow up 

satoru gojo x f!reader 

tsumiki’s first date doesn’t go so well.

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

content: megumi + tsumiki kiddos, mentions of heartbreak, reader says she wants to murder a child at one point, reader and gojo are soulmates, written for my girlies who are still waiting for love (I am the target audience)

an: my other gojo fic is personally victimizing me. like physically giving me pain in my soul its making me very mad. anyways here is a consolation prize (very old draft) while I try to revive that dumpster fire and not rip my hair out in the process. apologies to the gojo girlies im sorry :((( 

- 

You press down the ends of Tsumiki’s hair, setting her hair against the hairband that she had picked out. You feel her reach up, squeezing your hands as you give her hair one last spray lean down to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

She turns around, pressing herself against your legs as Satoru and Megumi walk in, leaning against the doorframe. They’re both irritated - not big fans of the whole ordeal. 

Tsumiki’s going on a date. 

Satoru was very adamant about it at first. Tsumiki can’t go on a date. She’s only thirteen and she has no business looking at boys, let alone going out with one. 

But she was just so excited, her tiny little eyes looking up into yours as she pleaded with you to convince him. So you did - his favorite dessert, a few kisses, and batting your pretty eyelashes until he gave in. And he always does. 

Megumi wasn’t one to exactly stop it per say, but he had made his opinions clear. He’s not a nice guy. Dates are stupid. Love isn’t real. You chalk it up to the fact that he’s a morbid nine year old. 

The three of you clump by the door as you watch her walk out the door, shooting you one last toothy smile before locking her fingers with the boy, Hiro she said his name was, and skipping down the walkway to where his parents were waiting. 

Megumi trails off immediately, running up to his room as you and Satoru watch the car drive away. He reaches over, locking his fingers with yours, as he cranes his neck out the doorway to watch the car disappear down the street. 

“She’s too young to go on a date, Y/N. What if he’s an idiot?”

You wrap your arms around him, squeezing his arms as he deflates against you. 

“They’re thirteen, Toru. I bet they’re just going to awkwardly hold hands during the movie and freak out about it. It’ll be fine.” 

“And what if something else happens and she comes home crying, love?” 

“She’s growing up. Stuff like that will happen. We just have to be here to catch her, that’s all.” 

 - 

You and Satoru are standing outside the movie theater, the rain pouring against the shade, as you wait for Tsumiki to leave the theater. She had texted you - two hours earlier than she was supposed to, much to Satoru’s dismay - and had said that she wanted to come home. 

And when she comes out, you know you made the wrong choice by letting her go. Because there she is, crying puddles like Satoru said she would. Her eyes are swollen, her cheeks tinted pink, and the look on her face is just about to make you cry. She looks heartbroken.

She holds her hand out to Satoru, the two of them walking off to the car as you trail behind the time. 

You feel horrible. You pushed her too hard, too early - letting your own past get caught up in what you were doing with Tsumiki. You remember it vividly. Pining in your room, saying no to dates because you knew your parents would never let you go. Getting stuck wondering about what could have been, how much love you lost out on just because someone stopped you. 

You didn’t want to do that to Tsumiki. Let her lose out on feeling special, having someone hand her flowers, and making her smile just because she was only thirteen. 

This is somehow worse. She’s only thirteen and she knows. The soul crushing feeling of someone not returning your feelings, thinking you’re weird, having love to hold onto that no one wants to return.  

The three of you return home, not having uttered a single word the entire ride home. Megumi was still over at Yuji’s, having ran over to his house across the street the second the two of you went to pick up Tsumiki. 

“Want me to go get him, Toru?” 

“Not yet, love. We have to talk to Miki first.” 

You press your hands against your sides, awkwardly ambling into the kitchen where she was sitting at the table. She had unwrapped the plate you had made her - that she was supposed to eat when she told you about how great her date was. Instead she looks deflated, pushing her fork across the sides as she picks out the smallest bites of food. 

You sit next to her and watch Satoru zip around the kitchen, placing items in front of you. Three spoons, strawberries, and the industrial tub of chocolate ice cream that Satoru bought against your protests. 

He leans forward, taking the plate in front of Tsumiki onto the side and pushing the ice cream in front of her. He hands the two of you spoons, taking the third, and opens the lid. 

“Alright Miki. Let’s talk, yeah?” 

“No.” 

She lowers her head, digging her spoon into the ice cream as you and Satoru stand at her sides. He leans over, slinging his arm around her shoulder as he gestures to you to do the same. You both lean your heads against hers, the three of you still digging into the ice cream. 

You’re not sure when she started, but when you look over, Tsumiki’s crying, her hold on both of your hands so tight you can feel the blood stopping. The three of you wordlessly eat the ice cream, until Satoru breaks the silence - nearly an hour later. 

“Want to talk about it now?’ 

“I just got sad. When we got there, he asked me if one of my friends liked anyone because he liked her. Not me.” 

You can feel the bitterness sticking in your throat - a heavy mix of guilt and anger. You never really understood child violence, but you think you’re starting to get it. Because why would he take her all the way there just to say that? Hold her hand on the pavement just to ask about her friend? You’re going to throttle him. 

“I just wanted someone to like me like you guys like each other.” 

You and Satoru look at each other over the top of her head, your heart squeezing in your chest at her words. 

“Someone will, Tsumiki. I promise, okay?” 

She crushes her hand in yours, nodding as she leans closer into you. You can see the gears in Satoru’s head moving as he looks over, shaking his head at you. 

“Can I tell you something, Tsumiki?’ 

She looks up at him, the two of you looking into his bright, blue eyes. 

“No one liked Y/N when she was younger.” 

You glare at him, rolling your eyes. He can’t be serious. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. She went months, years on end waiting for someone to like her back, you know?” 

“Thank you for the reminder, Satoru.” 

He ruffles the top of your hair as Tsumiki laughs, shaking his head at the two of you. 

“What I mean is, Y/N and I had to wait for each other. We didn’t get it right on the first try or even the third, fourth, or fifth try. Y/N dated guys who were mean to her, I dated girls who didn’t even really like me, and we both were really, really sad about it.” 

Now you get it. 

“I waited for Y/N. She didn’t just come around super easy, okay? You’ll have to wait for your Y/N too.” 

“Waiting for Satoru made it all the sweeter when I got to him, you know?” 

She looks up, a questioning look in her eyes as she angles her neck upwards. 

“The thing you’re waiting for is worth it. And you don’t have to worry about it not coming, because it will. And when it comes, you won’t even remember that you had ever waited, that you ever felt this way.” 

You and Satoru both watch her wipe her tears with the back of her hand, nodding as she gives the two of you one last hug and pads off to her room. You and Satoru stay in the kitchen, your hands locked together as you eat the tub of ice cream Satoru left out. 

You lean over, pressing your forehead against his shoulder as you groan. He places his free hand in your hair, soothing through the tangles at the ends of your hair. 

“What are you groaning, love?” 

“I should have just listened to you. She’s all sad now because I let her go.” 

“That’s not your fault. It was right to let her go now because it was bound to happen one day.” 

“I know that, Toru. I just…I don’t want her to grow up. I don’t think I really realized it before but people can hurt her. The bad way. And we can’t really protect her from that.” 

He lets go of the spoon, circling his hands around your face as he lifts your head up. He’s looking down at you, stupid blue eyes glimmering, as he gives you a soft smile. 

“She’s growing up. Stuff like that will happen. And she won’t be alone, because we’ll be there to catch her.” 

“Don’t quote me back to me dumbass. I hate you.” 

He laughs in response, leaning down to press soft kisses to your face - your forehead, cheeks, the tip of your nose. You shrug him off, pressing yourself against his shoulder again, his hand rubbing small circles into your side. 

“Thanks for waiting for me, Toru.” you whisper, leaning closer to him. 

“You’re so dramatic.” 

He leans down, pressing kisses all over your face till you’re smiling so big you have to push him off. He always does this - tickles, kisses, squishes you to death until you smile at him again. He stops, pulling you close again as you both swing your legs against the chair. 

“Thanks for waiting for me too, love.” 

 - 

You and Satoru drag Tsumiki and Megumi to the bookstore the next day, much to Megumi’s dismay. You tell Tsumiki that she can pick anything she wants out and that the two of you will buy it for her. 

She joins the two of you at the front, holding a laminated purple calendar in her hands. You crouch down, turning it over in your hands, as she looks at you. It’s a fifteen year calendar - which you didn’t even know they made. 

“You picked…a calendar?” 

“I want to count down the days. Till I find my you.” 

She skips off, entering the line as you and Satoru follow, your hands locked together. He squeezes your hands three times, giving you a soft smile, as you return his three squeezes. 

One squeeze for each word. I love you. 

- 

the satoru as taylor swift songs series masterlist

[thelaurenshippen]

When you write your characters, do they have specific, locked-in physical appearances? Does that only come once you get the characters cast/does it match what the VAs look like irl? I was thinking about how, when I listen to TBS I picture the characters different than you probably do or how other listeners do.

For me, I usually only picture things like height/build and hair color/length, but even that is different from other interpretations I see in fanart. What’s it like to see fanart of characters who don’t have faces?

great question!!! no, absolutely not, pretty much never. I have a hard time coming up with character appearances even in books--I am just not a visual person! in writing prose, I of course do have to determine what they look like, but it's not usually the first thing that comes to mind.

when I wrote TBS, I had absolutely no thoughts about what the characters looked like beyond certain vibes (mark: handsome, agent green: beanpole, damien: exceptionally average, etc.) but that said, I'm not sure I necessarily picture every single character looking like their actor. and that's largely because we have so much incredible fanart for the show, that every time I see a new version of a character, I'm like "that's it!". so, to answer the last question in your ask, it RULES

but it's a little different depending on how the casting went. with the exception of Chloe and Sam, almost all the original roles in TBS (so, the first four seasons), were written without a specific actor in mind okay, I started to write a long paragraph about each of the characters and then realized it might be fun to go through the whole original cast and talk about how each actor ended up in that role--

(my god this got long I'M SO SORRY I feel like I've hijacked your really nice and straightforward question)

Sam - easy; she was written for me, she is me, and yet I never picture her looking like me

Chloe - I knew I wanted to get Anna to be a part of the show, so I wrote Chloe with her in mind. but I also don't really picture Chloe looking like her!

Dr. Bright - the hidden lore of TBS is that I thought about playing this role for about half a second, instead of playing Sam (thank GOD I wised up). I don't remember the thought process of casting Julia at all because I'm pretty sure I was just sitting in acting class one day as she was doing a scene and was like "oh, there she is"

Caleb - god, it's so weird to try and remember when these people were strangers to me - Briggon was so big-hearted in acting class, that I knew he'd bring so much to Caleb. but it was watching him do a gruffer scene in class that made me ask him - I wanted Caleb's big heart to make itself known more slowly. Briggon has an essence that I picture with Caleb, but I don't picture Briggon as Caleb, if that makes sense.

Adam - in lots of ways, Briggon cast Adam! he and Alex had been buds for ages and when I wrote the episode in which Adam first appears, I needed someone to do a few quick lines and Briggon suggested Alex. and that was supposed to be that - I had no plans to ever have Adam appear in the show again. but then, of course, we recorded with Alex and I simply had to make him a presence in the show. ditto here in terms of essence vs. appearance.

Damien - I remember the moment I (mentally) cast Charlie so vividly. I'd already shared the season 2 script where Damien first appears with Julia and she was very eager to know who I was going to cast - I think we were talking about it before class, because we both knew that we needed someone very specific and very good. and I'm like "idk! I haven't thought about it in depth yet!". and then Charlie was doing some scene or other in class and Julia and I literally leaned forward in our chairs so that we could look down the row at each other because we had the exact same thought at the exact same time. and we shared this look and that was that. I've never pictured Damien as looking like Charlie, because Charlie is way too good looking.

Mark - these next two were really hard to cast. mostly because I had such a specific idea in my head of a vocal tone/vibe, and I didn't know any actors who fit that perfectly. and it took several weeks of sunday classes with Andrew before I asked if he wanted to get coffee and talk about it. and it took that long because Andrew has this very annoying thing about him where he's literally so versatile and so grounded and real and fucking good in every role he does, that every time I'd watch him perform, all I could see is what he was doing in the moment and nothing else. I would get totally lost in what he was doing and, of course, it is that exact quality that makes him such a compelling Mark. I picture Andrew as Mark about...32% of the time.

Agent Green - an insurmountable task. no one in my acting class was right for it. no friends of friends were right for it and I asked around a lot, got sent a lot of voice memos. and then I was doing a short film with Anna and Ian was there - I'd met him once before when he was in a Rocky Horror production with Anna - and I really dug his energy. and he wasn't right at all for what I was imagining Agent Green to be, but I was like "you know what, I want to work with this actor, and it's one small-ish role in two episodes" and then we got Ian in with Julia and all of a sudden I was like "WELL I GUESS I HAVE TO WRITE A WHOLE AGENT GREEN STORYLINE NOW" (this has happened to me several times. goddamn actors). I think the Green in my head is like...the combination of Ian and his common fan art representation.

Wadsworth - I met Alex doing the same short film - she was in it and also doing fight choreographer and was just incredibly competent and cool. I knew I wanted Wadsworth to be someone who could really boss people around but, like.....in a hot way. it helped that Alex and Ian knew each other pretty well, because obviously that dynamic is central to both those characters. and I think, similarly, Wadsworth is half Alex, half fan art in my head

Frank - I hadn't really planned on bringing Frank into the show itself - kind of an Adam situation - but I saw Phillip do a very interesting intense scene in class and just....couldn't stop thinking about it. despite writing the role into the show more or less for Phillip, I don't really picture Frank as looking that much like him.

Rose - this one was pretty straightforward - I wrote Rose, thought through actresses I knew who had a particular energy and could also sing and Alana popped into my head right away! (the only other actress that came close was Helen, who plays Helen in TAMA which, as you can guess, was written for her. she's got an incredible singing voice like Alana does, but Alana was the better fit, and I got to have Helen villain it up, which was so fun, and have a fucked up thing with Wadsworth (Alex and Helen are irl besties)). but I don't picture Rose in any particular way, other than the cover art for SFP!

Charlie - I loved Ars Paradoxica, I loved Reyn in Ars Paradoxica, and it just felt right. I do think I picture Charlie as Reyn actually.

honorable mentions from the spin-offs:

Mags - I knew pretty much immediately that I wanted to get Bryce in the mix of TAMA and wrote Mags for her in the same way I wrote Chloe for Anna. Bryce and I met doing a production of Spring Awakening years and years previously (she was Martha, I was Wendla) and she's such a talent! I don't really picture Mags like Bryce though - I think I picture Mags as being much nerdier.

Beck - Jason "Marley" Beck has a very specific description in the books. he's a tall, hulking white guy with a buzz cut and a kind of frankenstein's monster energy to him. he's pale as shit. when I wrote him into TCT, I looked for actors like that (and found some truly great ones!) but I'd left the role open and when I heard Chris's audition I was like "welp. that's Beck. I guess Beck is going to be Black in podcast canon!" and that's what we did. podcast canon and book canon are technically two slightly different versions running on parallel tracks, and I wanted to go with the actor that I felt best fit the role, regardless of the fact that the book had already been published. so the image of Beck in my head is different for the book and the podcast.

Oliver - ah, Oliver. the surprising fan favorite. or, really, not that surprising, because I had the exact same reaction to Kristian when I first met him. he auditioned for a role in Passenger List and, while I was of course already a fan of his from Orphan Black, I was still shocked at just how much fun the audition was. and to be clear: auditions suck so so so so so bad. and for PL, they were full 6 hour days of watching actor after actor after actor and, well, it's my least favorite part of the process always. but for the, like, 5 minutes Kristian was in the room, I was having a genuinely good time. so of course we cast him and he was as lovely to direct as he'd been in his audition. when Caitlin came up with Oliver, I think we both had something very different in mind. but there was a mad scientist energy to him that made me think of Kristian so I pitched him to her and she liked the idea and the rest is history. and then, of course, he and Andrew's chemistry was a wild lovely surprise, so we brought him back. gun to my head, I could not tell you what I think Oliver looks like.

[saltyyuuri]

Iso x Reader

🍂Fallen🍂

4225 words

warning: its sad.

song (headache, Asal): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu4BKEziolA

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

''Never felt something like this, wanna tattoo your kiss on my lips''

Those were the lyrics that first stuck in your head, the song simply having a good ring to it. It was smooth, granted a bit of an angsty feel, but generally the song soothed you so much, only halfway listening to the lyrics that were being sung, not looking much more into it.

Those words, they sounded so pleasant, striking just the right chord in you, hitting just right on a giddy feeling you had when you first met him. He didn't talk much at first, but the few words spoken when he passed by, the small interactions, his body language, his looks... Everything. Every small thing you could look into without seeming weird- everything captivated you. And those were the song lyrics that seemed to have flooded your mind the first time you got to look over all those details.

It was a fall afternoon, slightly cloudy, slightly chilly. The colder wind of end October was brushing onto your skin like a cold caress, one that was welcome that day. You remember how warm you felt, how flustered you had been after the small interaction. You remember that the small interaction had pulled you out your usual routine- where you'd put on a fake smile and greet customers as they walked into the small cafe, where you'd hide your dull boredom with a wide smile and a cheery tone.

A bland Wednesday in fall- that's what it was; that is what it should have been and that's how it should've stayed. And yet there you were, stunned as you looked over the new customer- one you have never met before. It wasn't a regular, not even someone who had visited in the past. No, this one was different- there was so much different about him that you remember you had frozen when greeting him in.

Hair dark as night, eyes a beautiful lilac, a jaw sharper than a blade and lips fuller than the moon. It was a bit of a cringey poetic way to describe him, but your mind couldn't help itself- the man was out of ordinary; he was different. When he got closer to the counter where the register was and you were standing behind of, you just remembered how tall he was.

''...You okay?'' He had asked, breaking your line of thoughts. ''Oh- yea don't mind me- haha... What can I get you?'' you had responded, trying to play it cool, putting back up the customer service mask. ''I would like a simple black tea and... A slice of lemon pie please.'' He ordered- a simple, if not plain order. ''Of course, I'll get that done for you. What's the name for the order?'' . There was a pause, a slight hesitation, as if debating what to say. You couldn't tell if the extra question had simply caught him off guard or if he was simply not comfortable giving his name. ''Yu Zhao.'' He finally said a bit more quietly- and you could've sworn there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.

The memory of your first meeting flowed through you mind like a broken record, blinking back to reality momentarily. The song- The damned song, it was still playing in the background on your phone. You didn't even realize it was playing this whole time- but it would explain why you were slowly thinking back at when you first met him.

You moved a bit- you were laying in the queen sized bed, now laying on your side. The bed felt awfully big now that you were alone in it. It was a harsh reality, and you still couldn't wrap your head around it. Tears prickled on the side of your eyes, burning as they were desperately hanging on- trying so hard to not roll down your cheeks. But just as your breath caught in your throat- it was bound to happen, just like all the times before; all the nights before.

''Didn't listen to my homies, 'cause they didn't want you around me''

You could still hear your old friends words, resonating so vividly in your mind as if it was the first time hearing them again. Their words that had cut deep- but not deep enough it seemed. You let out a shaky breath, hugging a plushie a bit tighter.

''No- (Y-N), Listen to me please...'' Begged your friend, Rosa, she had her hand placed gently on your forearm, which was resting on the couch's armrest. You were having coffee at her house, after work on a Thursday. it was about three weeks after meeting Zhao Yu- in which he came in every Wednesday, Saturday and Monday at the cafe. He was becoming regular, and you had taken a habit in making small talk with him. Your conversations weren't much, but they seemed to be so much more to you - describing them like a dear memory when you told your friend about them. And today was one of these days, where you were getting a bit more giddy because this time, he left his number. ''You barely know him, you need to think about this a bit more.'' She said, cutting your train of words.

''Obviously I barely know him, but we can still talk about everything you know- you'll see, he's great-'' And once more you were back to rambling about the near stranger that had you so captivated. You couldn't help yourself- he had left such an impression over so little, You were smitten over his mysterious looks, his more quiet demeanor and that small smile he'd give you after one of your short talks. ''(Y-N), that's the thing, slow down! look at you, he literally just said what- 3 words to you? And you're over here talking about him like he's some romance book character. Please, just take a step back-'' ''Rosa, why is it when I meet someone I like you act like this, but when you meet a one night that 'changed your life', I have to hear you whine that you've been ghosted... again.'' You snapped back.

You never would have snapped like that- never would have dreamed talking to your own friend this way. You didn't know what took over you- the need to retort that way was stronger than you. You remembered the look of betrayal she had, the hurt in her eyes when you snapped. That coffee night was cut short- the silence that had followed was thick- and heavier than you could have imagine. But deep down, you also remember how it felt- how you just felt ... relief. That day you spoke you mind for once- just once finally wording out a back thought- that's where you felt like everything actually took a turn.

''cut 'em all off one by one, I know you are the only one I need.''

That resumed rather well what had happen- the first month of meeting him was a rollercoaster. A new gain and a fresh loss- a new source of dopamine and a fresh wound. You figured that it was your choice, your life to do as you pleased, to decide for yourself. Because as fall turned to winter, you and Rosa eventually cut ties, no longer talking or even texting- your friendship as cold as the harsh winter outside. Yet; you weren't sad- you had Zhao Yu- or 'Yu' as you simply called him. You went from the casual chat to to a much more regular one- meeting up frequently, texting and calling a lot- And eventually spending nights over at your appartment.

He seemed to be the one keeping you warm in this cold winter, both physically and emotionally. He was so good to you- gods, he was exactly the picture perfect romance novel man- Cooked, cleaned, remembered your favorite snacks and would do small chores or bring little gifts when your mood seemed to damper - he made sure to bring a smile you your lips even when you least expected it.

''Runnin' up to rob me blind, I know it'll hurt but ill be fine.''

He moved in by spring, about 6 months after you two have known each other. You had gotten along well- and dating seemed to be going well. You had both opted for a cozy 2 bedroom apartment, one room serving as the bedroom, fitting the large queen sized bed , a dresser, nightstands and some decor. You had added a few plants and fairy lights for aesthetics- it made the already cozy apartment look much more homey, inviting, warm. You had a few pictures of the two of you framed and mounted to the wall, each photo taken from cute dates.

You looked past the fact you didn't quite know what his job was; You looked past the lack of mention about his family. You didn't want to question it; he was paying the entire rent for the apartment as it was a bit more upscale- in a safer part of town where it was also well soundproofed. You figured whatever it was he did, it must have been good, considering what he could afford for you. You didn't notice it at first how every expense seemed to be covered by him, how he would refuse for you to pay for anything while he took care of it all.

You never questioned when he left for a few days straight- he simply said he had to work and he'd leave. The first few times, you were a bit of a stressed wreck- trying to understand what he was doing, where he was off to and why he didn't contact you while he was out. And if you asked upon his return, he would always divert the subject, always finding a way to avoid it. You knew something was up- but you refused to question it too much, just accepting he could disappear a few days at a time- then show up, pay for everything and continue to live his life with you as if nothing had happened.

''I-I-I don't know where my head is, Something's missing in my chest, I think I need a medic''

As summer was in full swing, a few months had past where you and Yu had been living together- You tried to keep any thoughts about his work at bay while he would always greet you with a warm smile, a soft kiss and a warm cooked meal whenever you came home from your shift at the cafe. You didn't want to over think it- He was the best thing to have happened to you in a while, and he was quite literally perfect. You didn't want to break that image, not yet.

But this one time when he came back from 'work', you found him looking tired- no, exhausted. There was something about it so unusual, something that immediately strike worry in you. But when you asked him about it, he brushed you off, forcing himself out of bed with a wince to give you a kiss. It took a bit of arguing back and forth- finally convincing him to stay in bed and let you take care of him this time; yet still not getting a clear answer on what happened.

You tended to his injury, a large bruise on his abdomen, this time making dinner for him, running him a warm bath, getting pain killers and ice for after. You didn't understand why he couldn't- no, wouldn't tell you what happened; but once more you brushed past that thought and simply accepted the fact he would not tell you; even if that meant having to watch him get injured.

''I've been looking for a flaw in you, I don't really get it; You don't even know your flawless, it's giving me a headache-''

The more the song progressed, the faster your thoughts went. Almost as if the more it progressed, the less it needed to bring back memories to full relate to. You took in another sharp breath, feeling how shaky it was in your throat as tears made their way down your cheeks again. Your grip on the plushie tightened, unable to think clearly.

The memories of last fall now flooded you mind- a full year after meeting him. That's when things seemed to finally start breaking, where something seemed to crack the dream you were living- and nothing could fix that first crack.

He came back from his job, once again injured. This time though, he came back in the evening while you were making dinner for yourself. You had heard the jingle of keys in the door knob- a first since the past 4 days. You were giddy, happy he was back again finally. You had gotten used to his sudden disappearances, just learning to appreciate the time he was there instead. The door opened and you heard your boyfriend, Yu, walking in with heavy steps. At first, you didn't notice just how heavy those steps were, your attention fully on the stove as you readjusted the portions of the food for the two of you. ''Hi, Yu! How was work?'' You simply asked, knowing that the answer would be something short and simple. What you didn't expect was complete silence- he didn't even move from the doorway after you spoke.

''Yu?'' You called out to him again, setting down the wooden spoon you used to stir the pasta in the boiling water. You finally turned, taking a few steps to look at the apartment's entrance. Yu was standing there- a look of dread, stress and slight fear as you finally peaked your head to look at him. He was bloodied, his clothes stained with crimson and mud. He had a cut on his arm and looked a bit pained to be standing. He had large bags under his eyes- as if he didn't get any sleep. ''Yu-'' ''I can explain-... please...''

''I-I-I don't know where my head is, wanna give it all even though I'ma regret it in the morning; Yeah I know you warned me, but how could I resist you? you got me floating, Yeah.''

The explanation was nowhere near what you expected- you remember just how shocked you were; you had burnt the pasta from how long you stood in shock. He limped to the kitchen, turning off the stove - and you barely remembered what had gone down that night.

He had finally told you what his job was- and nothing could have prepared you to hear him say that. ''A hitman'' He had said, his own voice a bit shaky as he announced it. He expected many reactions from you- But frozen in shock wasn't one he had fully anticipated. He had tended to his own injuries that night, ordered in food and tried his best to do some chores while you sat on the bed- staring off at the wall, trying to process the news. Part of you wanted to force him to stop doing so much- he was injured and needed to rest up. But another part of you felt a fear- if not a slight disgust. You were dating a killer and you had ignored it for so long; you had brushed aside any signs.

That evening, he slept on the couch, he knew you needed space even if it meant sacrificing his own comfort. You barely got a wink of sleep, overthinking everything through the night and calling sick for work the next day. You were locked in the bedroom, just trying to make sense of your thoughts, each one louder than the other. It took you until mid day before you finally had made some sense of it all, a very uncertain decision being made up at that moment.

''Ever since I seen your face, my innocence done, left this place; You know you got me good when you walked in, got me good the way that you walked in.''

So, Fall turned to winter once more- and there was uncertainty that lingered in your home. You loved him, that much you knew- but was it worth the counter part of him taking human lives? That thought played like a broken record in your mind, even if you tried to push it back. That day you came out the room, you had said to him you loved him, patched him up and spent the day just holding him close. You didn't understand- how could someone so sweet, so loving be able to take lives for a living? It was a taboo subject between the two of you, whether you liked it or not. And no matter how much you pushed it aside, there was a cold draft this time making its way between you, cold like the winter once more.

''Never felt something like this, wanna tattoo your kiss on my lips; You know you got me good when you walked in, got me good the way that you walked in.''

And yet; there was a mutual understanding even though it was a moral point where you both weren't on the same page - you took care of him after he came back now and he couldn't object. And every time he came back and had sustained injury, you took extra time to patch him up, small kisses peppered delicately onto the freshly tended wounds, small caresses left on his skin as he relaxed under your touch. Every time you took care of him, you would make sure to put the efforts in- A subtle way to underline a message you hoped; no- wanted him to understand. That anytime he left for another one of these contracts- at any time it could be his last.

''You got me right where you wanted; I can't tell a wrong from a right if I'm honest- I don't care bout that right now; you're all I got on my mind''

And that day came sooner than later.

Spring came by, and as the season warmed up- he was gone once again on another contract. You couldn't help the slight anxiety now whenever he left- it was stronger than you. Now that you knew what he did- Now that you knew what could happen at any time, you always worried that this contract would be his last whenever he left.

One day turned to three, and three turned to seven. He was never gone so long, but you tried to keep the panic at bay- he was capable and you knew he knew what he was doing- He was the type of guy to over plan to make sur all would go swell. You had also learned he was a radiant throughout the winter- so you knew he would be okay.

But seven turned to twenty-one, and still no news or sign of life. It felt long, and every day felt like a fresh stab wound when you didn't hear the familiar key jingle or even your name on his lips. the three first weeks you had met him had made time fly- but the last three weeks without him made time feel like it was slow, heavy and dragging on painfully. You had to take extra days off throughout the three weeks, some days feeling unable to leave your bed to do anything.

''And I heard all the stories about you; so I know you could never keep a promise- I don't care bout that right now; you're all I got on my mind''

After the forty day mark, you somehow had gathered some energy to try searching up anything you could, any sign, any history or past he had that could trace back to anything. You were desperate- any kind of information was a sliver of relief on the pain that had been accumulating. You had started to pay all the bills yourself; the time where he had been paying for everything had allowed you to save up more than enough to afford living in the more luxurious apartment- the rent wasn't that bad, but definitely higher than if you were to pick an apartment to live alone in a less upscale part of the city.

You had managed to find glimpses of information, but nothing that was going to be able to even say whether he was okay or not, whether he was even alive. You felt like you were going to go insane, headaches pilling over more and more whenever you started to think about it all, thoughts slipping and over running you. You were becoming all too familiar with the feeling of panic, the feeling of losing a grip. And more often than not, you would let yourself be washed over by the feeling.

''I-I-I don't know where my head is, Something's missing in my chest, I think I need a medic'' ''I-I-I don't know where my head is, wanna give it all even though I'ma regret it in the morning; Yeah I know you warned me, but how could I resist you? you got me floating, Yeah.''

Summer was back in full swing, yet the warmth of the season couldn't warm you up the way you wish- the sun could leave your skin red and blistered and it still wouldn't satisfy you. The loneliness had caught up, feeling more alone than ever through it all- You had lost Rosa a long time ago due to you ignoring her warnings and selfishly snapping at her. And not only that, You had lost the person that had brought you comfort after that loss. It was like life was playing a cruel joke on you; making you understand just how much you had taken her for granted over a guy you had just met- and all that just to live a similar fate as her in a different context.

''Ever since I seen your face, my innocence done, left this place; You know you got me good when you walked in, got me good the way that you walked in.''

And yet you couldn't bring yourself to try talking to Rosa again- did you even deserve having her by your side again as a friend after how you had discarded her so quickly the moment she voiced her concerns about your love interest? Did you even deserve to ask how she's been since that year you pushed her aside? You felt like she would have been the only one to even imagine how you felt, how you've been doing and how stuck in your head you've been-

And yet you had essentially mocked her about it. was this all just a very twisted karma for the wrong you did to Rosa?

The fact it took you this long to even understand how much pain losing Rosa brought- all because you had lost Yu - made you feel like you didn't deserve to reach out to her. Why was it once again because of Yu that you had to re-think of Rosa?

''Never felt something like this, wanna tattoo your kiss on my lips; You know you got me good when you walked in, got me good the way that you walked in.''

Finally, autumn struck once more; a season you used to love so much now more of a heartache and a headache for you to live through. The apartment remained untouched, and you didn't have any of Yu's clothes left that still smelled like him. The comfort that his shirts and hoodies used to bring now was dulled, resorting to cuddling them in bed, like you were doing now. Anything that was left of him in this apartment was treasured - but kept as a painful reminder.

The song kept playing on repeat, burning as the lyrics kept replaying, memories flooding in at every sentence. once more, you were crying, an October night, alone in this queen sized bed that was meant for the two of you. Ironically, it was starting to give you a headache.

''Ever since I seen your face, my innocence done, left this place; You know you got me good when you walked in, got me good the way that you walked in.''

You reached out to the nightstand, grabbing the bottle of painkillers that seemed to reside permanently in that spot. You let two fall into your hand, chasing it with a sip of water from the bottle you kept on your beside. As you took the pills, your eyes landed onto the pictures of you and Yu, and it took everything for you to not choke as you swallowed hard the painkillers. You once more had memories flowing in, the dates, the cozy evenings, nights of passion... Everything coming back- and all you seemed to remember so vividly was his face, the face that had you so captivated the first time you saw him.

''Never felt something like this, wanna tattoo your kiss on my lips; You know you got me good when you walked in, got me good the way that you walked in.''

Finally, sleep took over you, eyes slowly dropping and his smiling face seemed to haunt your mind as it had been for months- a soft smile that complimented his lilac eyes perfectly. As you were losing consciousness, losing your battle to sleep, your mind replayed one last memory- a snippet that was both comforting and heartbreaking. It sounded just as real as the first time he said it- and if it weren't for the fact your mind had been playing this trick on you every night, you would have believed it was real.

''I love you, (Y-N)''

[actual-changeling]

Ellie probably got some incredibly bare basics cooking classes cause FEDRA needs them to have that skill, but I think it starts and ends with "this is how you put shit together to be somewhat edible".

So once they get to Jackson and have their own house and a kitchen, Joel is the one who cooks at the beginning (dining hall and two people with hypervigilance and ptsd does NOT mix), and Ellie watches him sometimes. Joel definitely knows what he is doing, he did raise Sarah (+Tommy) after all, and after a week or two, when they have both had time to rest and their brains are less fatigued and stressed out, she asks him to teach her.

At first, it is mostly a mix of mild curiosity and her brain recognizing it as a useful survival skill, and it is a pretty tense situation for both of them; she has the need to impress him and does not know what to do with it or where exactly it is coming from. Joel is trying his best to explain why he does something and how to do it without cutting/burning yourself, but seeing Ellie handling a very big knife near a hot stove makes him anxious in a way he did not expect. Yeah, he has seen her handle her knife and shoot people but that knife is sharp and he vividly remembers the time Sarah accidentally touched a heated burner. On the other side, Ellie wants to be good at it and gets overly frustrated in a way she also did not see coming when it is harder than she thought; Joel makes it look almost effortless but the whole process is mentally exhausting and making something taste good is a fucking minefield.

Cooking lessons are messy and on bad brain days outright unpleasant, with Ellie having trouble focusing due to her dissociation and Joel growing increasingly restless as his anxiety edges itself on more and more. Once he passes a certain threshold, he keeps hovering behind her and chiming in with completely unnecessary warnings like "careful, the knife is sharp", and the silent implication that she is failing/incapable pokes at Ellie's trauma (not that Joel actually means it that way, but reminding herself of that doesn't stop the cold pinch in her heart). It causes the cloud of static in her mind to thicken, and as a result her movements become more clumsy, which then makes Joel even MORE anxious. The whole lesson turns into a small spiral neither of them likes to see happen, but they also do not know how to make it stop, and after a memorable instance of burned black sludge coating their pans when she got distracted and a barely edible result, they both need a break for a few weeks.

Ellie feels incredibly useless and inadequate because this shouldn't be hard! Cooking looks easy and she does know how to do it, she really does! Somehow she is just really fucking bad at doing it with Joel around, her body can't decide whether she wants him as close as possible or far away, and the weird urge to impress him does not waver no matter how much she tells herself that it doesn't matter.

Luckily, there is one other person she can ask to teach her and that person is Tommy.

Compared to Joel, Tommy is the definition of relaxation and her brain is less conflicted around him, so when she comes over for the first time, the process and the end result are actually surprisingly easy and edible. They start with the few things she had already mastered and then work their way up, and Tommy is not Joel, he doesn't hover or throw her unnecessary warnings, he sits on a kitchen chair most of the time and does whatever while occasionally answering her questions or helping her out. Once she feels somewhat competent Joel also comes by, and with Tommy being fully unbothered and radiating peace, his anxiety calms more and more each time.

There is more to unpack than just cooking lessons, they all know that, but the day they prepare family dinner together, laughing and bumping into each other and making a mess of Tommy and Maria's kitchen, food becomes not just fun again but a way to connect, and it brings them one step closer to living with family instead of just surviving for it.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #626

Top Ten Arctic Monkey Songs

This is a list I’ve been planning for ages and ages. Originally it was going to go up around the time I saw the band live last year; I can’t remember now why I postponed it. But – long way round – here we are at last.

Anyway, I like this band. I vividly remember the first time I heard them. As I’ve said a million times on this blog, I’m not much of a muso; I don’t follow “the scene”, I don’t pay much attention at all to music unless I like it. So I come to stuff very late, I don’t know what’s from what album, I’ve got very little knowledge of a lot of music history, that sort of thing. So when I first heard I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor played one day on Radio 1 as I was walking around Birmingham, on some errand for the BBC’s daytime show Mind Your Own Business, I assumed it was an older track; maybe something from The Clash that I was supposed to already have heard a million times in my youth. But no. It was new.

It was stunning. I’d never heard anything like that – not a new song, not recently. It was vibrant and full of life, and it was fun, and it was funny, and it was fast and loud. There wasn’t really a lot of stuff like it back then; we were still in the post-Britpop doldrums, the Pop Idol-era of ballads and fluff, where guitar bands seemed to be unpopular. At least, that’s what it seemed like to me; as I said, I just sort of bump up against music accidentally until it gets its hooks into me.

Ever since then I’ve loved them. If maybe in recent years they’ve settled into a sort of rhythm of often-weird concept albums and more melancholy work, they still kick out a fair few bangers every album. They are, I think, the only band I’ve ever seen live more than once – like I said, I don’t really “do” music, I “do” in-depth analyses of what the “S” on Superman’s suit looks like (not that those things are mutually exclusive, of course). But it’s been fascinating watching them grow and evolve, not just musically but culturally, as they become megastars. They’re part of the firmament now; veteran British rockers. My kids will probably look at them the way I look at the Rolling Stones, or something. Crazy.

Anyway, here are my favourites of their songs. I make no apologies for most of these coming from their earlier albums; like I said, I think as they’ve gone a bit slower and more melancholically-introspective, even if I’ve appreciated their stuff, it hasn’t quite got its hooks into me the way their early work did. Also, y’know, I’m not 24 anymore, absorbing this stuff with a fresh sense of a world undiscovered.

So there you go.

I’m going to eschew my usual individual dissection this week; I like writing about the things in my list, but here I feel it hard to parse the differences between the songs for some reason. So instead I say, let’s just enjoy them all; a little smorgasbord of northern musical delights. Suck it and see, and all that.

I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor (2005)

Cornerstone (2009)

When the Sun Goes Down (2006)

Fluorescent Adolescent (2007)

A Certain Romance (2006)

505 (2007)

Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair (2011)

Suck It and See (2011)

Brick by Brick (2011)

Mardy Bum (2006)

Fluorescent Adolescent is the best video though, we can all agree on that, right?

[knowltonsrangers]

ideal location [ch.13]

Nathan Hale x F!Reader

The first nightmare comes with enough force to get him to sit up, sweat pouring down his blanched face at the sight. Nathan never remembered himself to dream so vividly, and yet the gun to his head felt a little more than just a memory.

He grabs one of the pillows nearby, holding it tight to his chest, attempting to even out his breathing. He’d feel silly to go to you for help, because he wasn’t a child looking for their mother. However, it would seem he would not be going back to sleep tonight.

Sighing, the blonde stands shakily, still clutching the pillow as he pads down the hall and towards your room. The clock he passes tells him it’s just past four, and the light coming from your room doesn’t ease his mind.

You should be asleep.

The door ajar, he walks forward and knocks, to which he hears your gasp of surprise.

“Nate? You can come in,”

You call, finger slamming on the dimming button so your screen was not so bright. You pray you didn’t wake him, the man hardly ever gets enough sleep to begin with.

“What are you doing awake, y/n?”

In the moment of vulnerability, you had forgotten what you were working on, and turned to minimize the screen, but it was too late.

“Assignments, really y/n? At this hour?”

Oh good. You had clicked in enough time so he couldn’t read the title of your word document.

“Yeah…I couldn’t sleep. Why not work on something productive?”

You speed through that lie a little too easily, and your shoulders sag as Nathan flicks your light on.

It’s then you register that he’s never been in your room before. He’s passed by it, stood in your doorway, but never been fully inside of it.

“I hope my light didn’t wake you up. I’m sorry if it did, I…”

Your words falter, watching his body language as he holds the throw pillow firmly to his chest. Taking in his appearance, it’s strange to see him standing there in just grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. It was something he was still getting used to, too.

He’s staring at your bookshelf, the one with a few of your favorite novels, but more intently at a few picture frames sat there.

“What is it?”

“Nothing…I–I am sorry to have bothered you. Good night,”

Your bottom lip juts out, and you can’t ignore the opportunity that is slipping right out of your hands. Nathan was clearly upset about something, and came to you because he didn’t want to be alone.

“Hey, Captain.”

He stops dead in his tracks, hand on the doorknob, when you call him by his nickname.

“You know, I really should stop making you sleep on the sofa…after we kissed and all.”

Your chin comes to the back of your desk chair, looking over at him with a look in your eyes.

“Wanna sleep in here, with me? Nothing weird, you can stay on your side, and I’ll stay on mine.”

It’s an offer, and something eases in his features.

“Would that sincerely be alright?”

Nathan breathes, and you click your monitor off after saving the document.

“Yeah, for sure. We are still trying to define our relationship, doesn’t mean you should be shunned to the couch.”

“I never want to make you uncomfortable.”

His weight shifts from foot to foot, and when he finally faces you fully, you can see just how disheveled he looks.

“Y’sure you’re alright, Nate?”

“Yes, I am alright.”

You nod, walking to him to flick the switch off, and taking his arm to guide him over to the left side of the bed.

“Here bud, get some sleep, okay?”

“Good night, y/n. Thank you.”

“No worries, good night.”

You round the bed, and crawl into the right side, back to back with the patriot. Something was bothering him, but you would not pry it out of him. Trust is a two way street.

“y/n?”

It’s soft, and after a few minutes of silence. It’s possible he’s hoping you’ve gone to sleep, so he doesn’t have to say what he wants to.

“Yeah, Nate?”

“I had a nightmare.”

It’s a whisper, and you go ridged, going to turn around, to find he’s already moved to face you, blue eyes fearful and knuckles white.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not right now.”

“Okay, that’s fine.”

There’s a few more beats of silence, just staring at each other at what features you can make out in the moonlight.

“Y’know…”

You’re the first to speak, because your heart isn’t sure how much more it can take of this man’s frown.

“When I’m having trouble, I find that solace is a really good thing. I’m a really good hugger.”

You smile, just a tiny one, inviting him with open arms.

Nathan doesn’t reply, but he seemingly takes you up on that offer, but reverses it. He’s hugging you more than you are him, his body engulfs yours in a warmth that makes your heartbeat skip.

“Thank you, y/n.”

He whispers as your arms come to his waist, head to his chest.

“No need, Nathan. No need.”

For the first time, you were confident to open fully to the man. In fear of losing him, in fear of many things—yet in this moment you never want to leave.

And the night moves on, arms round each other, you only allowing yourself to succumb to the temptation of sleep after you are certain Nathan is well into sleep himself.

Only good dreams tonight.

[a/n: I have re-written this chapter four times, and I just realized it’s been over a month since my last chapter. I love this story so much, I don’t wanna abandon it. I hope to get more chapters out soon ♥️]

[kinkycoffeewhore]

Heartstopper, Crushes, & Bisexuality~

Recently, Heartstopper Season 2 came out and I binge-watched the whole season in a day. It was SO GOOD. From the plot to the characters, the show is so well done. Nick and Charlie are so wholesome, it’s love overload. I've found I've related to Kit Connor's character, Nick, the most. From being bi to wanting to protect and support Charlie – I relate to Nick a bit more.

For me, the discovery of being bi was not a straightforward path. And to be honest, it still isn't. I knew I liked guys from a young age. I vividly remember having a crush on this boy I went to daycare with. And then on the popular blonde curly-haired boy at my school through middle and high school. Then on the tall, geeky new guy. But I never had the courage to get to know them – outside of the daycare crush. I knew him and liked him, but he stopped attending daycare before it could develop into something more. Boo. I was maybe 10 at the time lmao but it’s never too young to have a boyfriend.

With my first serious relationship, I had found the guy cute. And the attraction grew stronger as my feelings grew stronger. But with women, I find I struggle to sort my feelings out. When I first had a crush on a woman, I didn’t know it was a crush. I was just super nervous and incredibly shy. I thought she was HOT. I didn’t think it was weird how nervous or shy I was, because I was incredibly shy during that time. It wasn’t until some time passed that I realized I wanted to be more than her friend. Nothing unfolded with her since I couldn’t come out of my shell.  

Unlike Nick Nelson, I never have had a romantic love with a woman play out yet. I’ve had crushes, a few non-serious kisses, and a one-time stand. But nothing serious. It’s been a struggle because my attraction develops as my feelings do. But the confusion has only grown more recently because I have a friend who is 100% my physical type. Annnnd…she happens to have some of the qualities I value most in a partner. I’ve been racking my brain on whether it’s a crush I have or if I think she’s just a good friend…or both lol. These feelings are too underdeveloped to know for now.

And before you think, “ooo so she’ll read this and get the gist it’s her.” No she won’t cause she doesn’t have tumblr and thinks this platform is too questionable. For now, I'll stay high on love by living vicariously through Heartstopper.

btw listen to mona lisa. the song is SO GOOD.

Kinky out. Peace.

[shindayyume]

Starry Starry Night .・。.・゜✭・.

A story about the beginning of a life long friendship, and the impact of one particular painting. {OCs}

『••✎••』

“What made you pick the name Vincent anyways?”

.. “He had pretty art.”

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

“She’s a weird kid. Her hair is always messy, and she always tears her dresses because they’re too long. And she doesn’t talk!”

The five year old sat at the end of his bed, holding out one of his legs while his mother slipped on the toddler sized sneaker over his foot.

“Oh c'mon now, Haru, that’s not very nice to say. Maybe she’s just.. struggling to find herself.”

She laced up one shoe, and then began working on the other.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, sometimes not everyone is born knowing who they are… Maybe Scarlet feels out of place in school? Maybe she just needs a friend to understand her.”

“But the other kids said she bites and scratches.. I think she likes to be alone.”

He pouted, almost pitying the other kid.

“That could be true too. I’m sure either way, she might just need some time getting to know everyone. Don’t take it too personally, sunflower.”

“Humph,” Haru took a look at his sneakers, clicking the tips of his shoes together. He giggled as the bottoms twinkled with lights. But, for a five year old whose priority should be showing off his new pair of light up sketchers, he was pretty stressed over the fact that there was a new kid in his class.

Haru was well known around his school. He was a teacher's pet, had the highest grades, attended every event he could, and was the most popular kid on campus.

Everyone loved him. It was like his presence could magically light up a room.. Your morning could start off gloomy, but running into Haru was like witnessing the sun peak out from underneath those rainy clouds. The other kids would smile and cheer, always eager to play with Haru or even sit with him at lunch. He didn’t mind any of it. In fact, he enjoyed making other people happy.

That was until he was challenged. A new girl came along.

It was already the middle of the semester within their first grade class, so no one expected a new student to appear out of the blue.

Haru remembers that day vividly. It was only a few weeks ago, where this small girl was being introduced at the front of the class.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

“Everyone take your seats!” Shouted the teacher from the head of the class. All the young kids giggled and muttered between one another as they took their places, setting down backpacks and lunchboxes while making themselves comfortable. Haru being one of them.

He was always seated at the very front, and had already been put in a good mood after saying hello to some of his friends.

“Today, we have a new student! I would like you all to meet your new classmate,

Scarlet Fox.”

As the teacher gestured her arm out towards the door, everyone’s head turned in the direction. Watching as a little girl shyly stepped into the classroom from the hallway.

Harus smile faded within seconds. Not out of disappointment, disgust, or anger.. but because of how.. pulled in he felt. His curiosity for a person had never been so strong before.

She walked in wearing a white sundress that flared out just below the knee, almost long enough to hide the scruffy, coffee colored tail behind her. It looked recently brushed out. Though, it matched perfectly with the poofy set of pointy ears on her head.

Her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, decorated with a red bow to tie it all together.

Fox? Haru thought, observing her as she walked up to the teacher's side.

She didn’t really look like a fox. More of a.. wolf, or scary dog.

She was very intimidating. Her eyes were sharp and bright red, perfectly matching the symbols of flame on her forehead and cheeks. Her expression looked almost angry. Like she already hated being there.

Haru couldn’t help but notice other details about her. Her hands were wrapped in bandages. And her legs had a few healing cuts and bruises on them, causing her dainty shoes to look out of place. And she had this scar that was impossible to miss. It started at the corner of her mouth, stretching all the way to her ear lobe..

“Scarlet, why don’t you introduce yourself? Let the class get to know you.”

The room fell silent as everyone stared. A kitsune in the classroom wasn’t anything they questioned. Afterall, many of the other kids were hybrids as well. To them, she was just another child with a painfully aggressive aura to her…

She didn’t say anything, not even a single look towards the teacher. Just her eyes glancing over the other students one by one.

However, there was always one kid capable of cutting through uncomfortable silence.

“Are you hurt?”

Harus words are loud enough for the whole classroom to hear. The two made eye to eye immediately. Scarlet stood just inches away from him, causing a gap of tension.

Then, unexpectedly, there were a few giggles in the distance. A couple of kids snickering and whispering to one another towards the end of the class room. It caught Scarlet's attention, her eyes darting over and reading their body language. With her ears pointed in their direction, it was a no brainer that they were talking about her. She could feel their mockery within their laughs.

She looked back to Haru- her fluffy ears flattening back as she gave him a glare. Then she maneuvered her arms behind her back to hide the white bandages.

Haru felt a bit taken back. All he wanted to know was if she was okay. It’s not his fault they were laughing- he truly didn’t understand why she gave him such a hateful look.

“Right.. um- how about we just give Scarlett some space? Why don’t you go find a seat, and we can begin today’s lesson.” The teacher nervously smiled, placing a hand against Scarlet's back as if to give her a gentle nudge forward.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Haru watched as she tailed past. Going all the way to the back of the classroom to pick an empty seat.

“Alright! Now, let’s start where we left off yesterday, hm? Today, you guys will be-…”

The teacher's voice began to drift and fade from Harus head. He was too focused on the new girl. Still turned in his seat to look at her- watching as she pulled off the backpack from her shoulders and placed it on the ground at her desk. She didn’t even bother to open it like everyone else.

He just stared, and watched her.. alone, in the corner, picking at the wraps on her hands.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

“Have a good day at school, sweetie!”

“Bye mom, love you!” Haru hopped out from his mother’s vehicle, closing the door behind him as he ran towards the building entrance with the other kids.

Following his usual path towards his classroom, he gave his hands a wave as he passed by a few friends.

“Hi Ricky, Hi Kenny, Hi Jessica!”

All the other first graders always responded with a “Hi Haru!” of their own, most already ganged together in their little cliches and friend groups.

“Good Morning Mrs. Parker!” Haru held his palms closely together, forming a single rose just within his hands. As he approached the teacher at her desk, he held it out to her with a wide smile. She returned the grin, kindly accepting the flower with a ‘thank you’ before he ran off to his seat.

Harus joy was cut short as he approached his desk, pulling off his backpack only to spot Scarlet already in the room. She was sitting alone, per usual, at the farthest desk in the back. Haru allowed the brightly colored bag from his shoulders to slowly fall down his arms and onto the floor. Blindly staring while Scarlet was in her own world, peeling at the badges that dressed her hands. He completely ignored his friends coming into the room, taking their seats next to him all while trying to grab his attention.

“Alright everyone! Take your seats please.” called the only adult in the room. It made Haru snap out of his little trance, pulling out the kiddy sized chair before occupying it.

That day in class was like every other. Kids would shout and interact with whatever Mrs. Parker had on the board, excitedly answering her questions. And Scarlet still sat in the back of the class, a ghost to everyone while she scribbled over her desk with pencil.

Then, it was time for lunch.

Per usual. Haru sat dead center at the most populated table in the cafeteria. Despite this, he had a clear view of the tables further back. Zoning out all the yapping children next to him while he focused on the fox in the corner. It was always the same routine. She would sit at the lonesome tables by herself for a few minutes, always with her own packed Fox and the Hound themed lunch box that she never opened. Maybe every now and then to grab her juice box but that was it. Haru never saw her with any food.

And after about five or so minutes passed of her boredly playing with the bag's charmed zipper, she would take her lunch box with her out to the playground. She was always the first kid out because she never ate, Haru always assumed she must just really enjoy playing outside…

After Haru was done with his meal, he was quick to clean up and run outdoors with everyone else. They always raced one another to the swings and monkey bars, but today Harus footsteps slowed halfway there. He came to a stop as his friends continued ahead of him, turning his attention over to a grassy area near the shrubs and bushes. A few voices caught his attention- two older kids were making a ruckus. They were huddled over something Blurry. Whatever it was, Haru was too far away to make it out. But besides their feet, he recognized a familiar lunchbox. The once clean cartoon print now covered in dirt..

“Are you really playing with bugs? Gross!”

“What a weirdo.” The older kids laughed and cackled, kicking dirt over a small anthill to bury the insects in their own home. At least.. They were trying to. Instead, they were kicking dirt and small stones into the face of a mangy fox. Scarlet was huddled over the ant hill, trying to protect the ant's home with her entire body. She wasn't making a sound, no cry for help or even an attempt to fight back. Fully allowing herself to get covered in dirt and bitten by the small bugs she was trying to protect.

The other kids seemed frustrated by this, continuing to spit out stupid comments only elementary schoolers were capable of making. All while striking dust up into her face.

All their noise made them blind to the upcoming footsteps behind them. To their surprise, one of the bullies was pushed forward, causing them to stumble over their feet and quickly turn around with a glare. “Hey! What gives-”

Their demeanor instantly switched at the sight of Haru. A familiar face no ones ever seen angry before.

And yet there he stood, eye level with the other children. He clenched his fist together, and a sudden rise of weeds began to snake around their ankles. They grew with thorns, prickling at the older children's legs.

“Leave her alone. You're hurting her.”

Haru was one of the few children to obtain his powers early. Sure, it may have been something seemingly harmless, no one ever imagined the young boy being capable of sprouting poisonous plants and sharp thorns.

The plants obeyed him, a set of flaming flowers that blazed in anger. That Is what scared the 2nd graders. There were no more daffodils and peach trees. Haru was serious. Scarlet raised her head, poking her eyes out just enough to watch as her bullies squirmed to get away.

“Ew ew eeeww!”

To avoid getting entangled in vines, the two quickly scurried off. Harus head followed as they fled, watching them run in tears to the nearest bathrooms. When looked back, he was surprised to find Scarlet calmly seated on the ground. He never knew it was possible to get her dress even more dirty than it already was. But clearly, she paid no attention to the sticks and stones stuck in the fabrics of her dress and fur.

Her back was now facing him, and the ant hill stood unharmed. She held a piece of food in her hand, seemingly part of a sandwich. Haru assumed it must've been from the half open lunch bag beside her, that was now just as filthy.

“Are you okay?” he asked, standing behind her while patiently waiting for a response. He was returned with silence. Confused, he raised a brow. Maybe she can’t speak? Or hear? She doesn't even cry…

She really is weird…

“Um.. do you need to clean up? You got pretty dirty.. I have wipes in my bag if you don't like water?”

Again, no response. Her attention was completely focused on the ants, watching them rip little pieces of bread and meat off her sandwich from the palm of her hand.

He took a few careful steps forward, squatting down beside her to watch. He's not entirely sure why he felt so compelled to talk to her, or why he was now watching bugs in the dirt with the weird kid. But, it seemed to light up something entirely new in his world. He enjoyed it.

“My name’s Haru. I know your name. Mrs. Parker told everyone.”

He looked over, watching the expression on her face. There was his heavy weight of sadness in her eyes. However, her red pupils glimmered with awe. Haru could almost see the reflection of ants in them.. They must really mean a lot to her. It clicked in that moment for him. None of the other kids never took the time to listen, they didn’t know how to listen to her. She was silent, always in her own world. And that world was a tiny dirt hill, guarded by an army of insects.

…. “Do you wanna be friends?”

That question seemed to catch her attention. Causing her to finally turn her head and lock eyes with the freckled face besides her.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

The school bell echoed through the halls, and soon enough the voices of students filled them.

Kids flood the once empty halls as they all eagerly try to escape through the main doors. Many other 8th graders are picked up by their parents, waiting within the roundabout area for their cars to appear.

One of these kids just so happens to be Scarlet.

Her head hung down, staring at the concrete ground beneath her shoes. Watching the pair of ants maneuver around her feet.

Then, there was an aggressive push and pull against her back. The sundrop child coming from behind her to hug an arm around her neck.

“Scarlet!! You're so mean, you didn’t wait for me after class!” He pouted dramatically, still unable to knock off his dimpled smile.

“You take too long.” she replied, her voice always so much lower in volume compared to his.

“I had to say bye to everyone! By the way, are you going on the field trip? I think you should come this time!”

With his arm still hooked over her shoulders, she shrugged.

He whined, “Come on! It'll be fun! You like to paint and stuff, so a trip to the art museum is perfect for you! Plus, I'll be there.” he continued to grin, attempting to persuade her further.

“You alway go to those things, it's not special.” she muttered, thinking it over. He wasn't completely wrong, she would oftenly doodle in the middle of class, or leave school early just to finish a painting. It was her way of unwinding.. but attending an art museum? That wasn’t necessarily something that caught her interest.

A paper was shoved in her face, forcing her to grab it and read it over. It was a permission slip for the upcoming field trip to the national art gallery museum.

“Have your dad sign it. Deadline is tomorrow so I better see your paper in the bin!”

Her eyes glossed over the words with hesitation. Haru always did this. She's thrown out many slips before, mostly because she was never interested in the idea of a school field trip. But something felt.. Different this time. Less overwhelming than the trips to amusement parks and aquariums. Maybe it was actually something she could take into consideration. No, even with a second thought, she had no desire to leave home.

Before she could deny his request, she heard the familiar rumble of a car engine approach. That loud roar from an old school 1967 chevy impala could be heard from down the street, barely turning into the school zone. The closer it got, the redder her face. It was always so embarrassing the way it dominated over everyone's voices. She hated this loud vehicle.

“Looks like your dads here. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.. see ya.” She stepped off the curb, approaching the black car closing in.

Haru smiled and waved as she popped open the door to the backseat.

“Hi Mr. Fox!! Bye Scarlett!”

She quickly slammed the door closed behind her to avoid people's stares.

“Hey Kiddo! How was school?” asked an older voice from the front seat.

“Fine.” setting her backpack into the empty seat beside her, she reluctantly clipped on her seatbelt.

You know, for a car that was deemed cool and eye-catching, the man behind the wheel was anything but that.

Clint Fox. a Character she has always had a difficult time trying to understand. Painted to be her father, many people always assume that was correct.

She could see why. Afterall, they were both foxes. Him, a little more so with his coloring and additional fur patterns. But that's all. They weren’t related in the slightest, and the fact that Scarlet had to call him “dad” always irritated her.

Clint was her adoptive father. At first, she took him as someone intimidating and worth respecting. After all, he’s a tattoo artist, and always driving around that sleek impala. At times he would pick her up from school after being covered in car oil, or even on a motorcycle decked out in gear.

But the guy was a total softie.

He was so bright and giddy, always trying to lend out a helping hand as if it could make a big difference.

Scarlet had never even once seen the guy angry. Everytime she did something out of line, sure he would be disappointed, but he always forgave her. She just couldn’t understand why he cared about her so much.

With a huff, she tried to zone out the car's engine, staring off outside the cars window on their way home.

Finally, when they walked through the home's front door, she immediately headed straight upstairs for her room. Leaving Clint to sigh as he watched her lock herself away.

She tossed her bag onto the bed filled with blankets and pillows, only now realizing she still had the permission slip in hand..

She crumbled it up and tossed it into the small bin next to her desk. Then, pulling out the seat tucked under, she stared at the many unfinished canvases looking back up at her. Each one a different insect, halfly painted just enough to get the silhouette and colors jotted down.

Carefully, she began rearranging her paints and brushes. Prepping colors so some of these canvases can be marked down for completion. Even while trying to occupy her mind, a lingering feeling weighed in her chest. On occasion, she would glance down to the trash can at her feet.

Downstairs, Clint was at work in the kitchen. Lightly humming the melody to Modern Takings infamous Cheri Cheri Lady, all while he plated the cutlery with fresh food. The aroma of homemade pasta filled the entire house, mixing perfectly with his dimly lit candles. He never actually used the main lights the house was built with, always complaining about how they were never warm enough.

“Scarlet! Dinners ready!” He called out, filling two glasses with their preferred drinking choices. Water for the kid, and sweetened tea for himself.

Still lightly singing to himself, he carried both plates over to the small kitchen table in the dining room. His music cut short as he was startled to find a tiny Fox that had snuck up behind him. Scarlet held up a wrinkled paper in front of his sight. The words ‘Field trip’ caught his attention quicker than he could ask what it was. It took him by surprise, Tilting his body around the paper to drag his concern over to his daughter.

“I need you to sign this.”

He blinked blankly, then smiled. Finally, Scarlet had always refused these trips in the past, what made this one so different? He carefully picked up the paper to give it a read. “Museum of national arts? Sounds fun! You really wanna go?”

As Scarlet took her seat, she nodded quietly.

“Is Haru going?” For now, he set aside the paper against the kitchen counter. Picking up the filled glasses and bringing them over to their rightful pairings.

“He always does.”

Clint sat at the opposite end from her, trying to contain how overjoyed he was. He had been trying to convince her for years to branch out a bit, and take the opportunities. And now, something finally caught her interest enough. He chuckled, adding additional sugar to his drink “Have fun while you're out there, kit.”

“So you’ll sign it..?” She picked at the meal in front of her. that wasn't anything new, though. She could only withstand a few small bites before needing to leave the table.

“Course i'll sign it! Just promise- you'll be.. calm? No setting the historical pieces of art on fire?”

“I promise..”

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

And soon, Scarlet was in line with the other children. Everyone standing in front of the groups of buses, eagerly waiting to board them. Some stood with their parents, like her. She quietly stood in front of Clint, who was triple checking her bag to make sure she had everything packed and ready. To her, the gesture was annoying.

“--And when you get to the hotel, make sure you text me your room number and let me know youre okay. Lock the door- and don't stray too far from your class, another thing-” She started to zone out his words, observing the large crowds of kids ahead. Trying to locate a certain dirty blonde in the mix.

It began to get to her, the nerves. With her fist anxiously clenched together, she could feel the heat in her palms making them sweat.

She had never ventured off alone like this before, and if Haru wasn’t here she wouldn’t know what to-

“Scarlet!!”

Relief.

The moment she turned around, she was tackled into an unwanted hug from Haru. Awkwardly patting his back. She couldn’t show that she was thankful he appeared.

“Sorry I’m late. My mom was talking to the counselor.. We convinced them to let us be partners during the trip! That way you don’t have to room with the other girls and we can stay together.” Breaking the hug, he playfully punched her shoulder. A rosy color on his cheeks.

She nodded in response. Truly, unable to express how relieved she was to hear that. It was a two day trip, nothing too crazy. Instead of going to the museum and immediately coming back, the class would stay within a hotel for a night, visit the museum the next day, and stay another night at the hotel before returning home in the morning. Which meant rooming with 2-4 other kids.

Luckily, she wouldn’t be cooped up with a bunch of strangers now that Haru would be there.

Harus mother followed behind, greeting Clint with a friendly smile. “They said they’ll get their own room. I gave them the papers and everything.”

“Thank you, Grace.. I knew they’d listen to you.” Clint kindly accepted the papers Harus mother held out to him, it was a neat little folder with a paw print stamped on the cover.

“Oh it’s no problem, I’m always happy to help. Especially if it means getting the kids away for a bit.”

The two laughed it over, soon interrupted by Teachers collecting their classrooms and who would be attending in what groups.

“Looks like this is it-“ Clint kneed down to Scarlet's height, placing his hand lightly against her shoulder to turn her around. “Remember what I told you?”

“Our teeth are our most powerful weapon.”

“What- no!” He huffed a short laugh, ruffling up her hair. “Call me if you need anything, I’ll drive the four hours to come get you. And stay close to Haru. Don't bite anyone-“

Scarlet always gave this seemingly unimpressed stare, but this time was different. Not realizing that she had a small grip on Clint’s jacket. Something in her was telling her not to let go.

“Love ya kiddo.”

“Scarlet come on, they’re boarding already!” Haru had grabbed a hold of her wrist, pulling at his friend and practically dragging her towards the bus’ staircase. He shouted out as he did so, “bye mom, love you! Bye Mr. Fox!”

And so, Scarlet was yanked into the large travel bus full of other 8th graders. Haru was always one to grab front row seats, but for his best friend's sake- he didn’t mind waltzing over to the very back where it was most quiet.

As the buses rolled out from the school's lot one by one, Scarlet turned her body to look into the backseat window- watching as the two silhouettes of Harus’ mother and Clint got smaller and smaller from view.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

The drive there was treacherous. Ignoring how long the drive was, Scarlet couldn’t stand the amount of rowdy kids she had to endure during this trip. Neither could she deal with the amount of times their teacher would shout for everyone to calm down and stay in their seats. If it weren’t for Haru sticking by her side the entire time, endlessly talking about the many songs he heard from the flowers… she would have gone crazy.

But soon, they arrived at the registered Hotel. Everyone was carefully paired within groups of 3-4. However, Haru and Scarlet were assigned their own room of two beds. It caused a few ‘ooos’ and whispers between the kids, but due to Scarlets.. special cases, she wasn’t allowed to room with anyone else. So she didn’t understand why everyone acted like this was new information.

Haru was bumped into by another classmate. A younger boy by the name of Rex. He was the type you’d immediately deem annoying within a group. “Alone with a girl? Hope you know how to kiss, flower boy” He teased, resting his hand on the other.

Harus' brows frowned, moving his shoulder away from the kid that had a hold on him. “Dude- don’t be weird.”

“Oh come on! Everyone knows you and the weird girl are ‘good friends’” he mocked with a laugh.

Haru wasn’t one to stand up for himself, he was too sweet for that. So all he did in response was try and hide his embarrassment.

But soon, the rowdy kid would soon come to regret his mockery. Scarlet's shadow loomed over him within seconds after making that comment. His head slowly looked up to the death glare on her face.

“Wanna say it again, Rex? Would be a shame if those were your last words before I rip out your tongue.”

Scarlet, being the scariest girl in their class, was not one to mess with. Over the years she’s learned to not only fight for herself, but for Haru. After ‘accidentally’ sending kids to the nurses office, that was the primary reason as to why she wasn’t allowed to room with anyone other than Haru.

Rex stepped back, dusting off Harus shoulder as if to preserve him. “Haha-“ quickly, he bolted off to find his friends.

Scarlet raised the set of room keys in her hand, sharing one with said flower boy. “Come on. Before he cries to the teacher and Ms. Callaway calls my dad.”

“Right- want me to carry your bag?” He took the keycard, shoving it into his pocket as the classroom followed their assigned chaperones to their rooms.

“I can hold it.”

The two were guided off to their number, greeted by the two large begs in such a spacious room. The two friends looked at one another with hesitation, then separated to throw their things onto their chosen picks. It wasn't a very eventful day. The teachers thought it would be best to take everyone out for a pizza dinner. Some kids were lucky enough to already have packed meals from their parents, like Scarlet. But others were a messy mistake to bring along. Nonetheless, that night was like no other for Haru. But to Scarlet, it was a bit.. Off Putting. She hardly slept comfortably in that stiff hotel bed, tossing and turning in an attempt to get comfortable with just a single blanket and thin sheets.

She laid awake, staring upwards at the plain white ceiling ahead of her. What eased her anxiety was her active imagination. Imagining swirling patterns and faces in the design of the ceiling that weren't really there. Despite her anxiety about being away from ‘home’... she looked forward to the day ahead.

The Museum wasn't as packed as the kids initially thought it out to be. However, the large groups of 8th graders ended up filling that void. There were multiple teachers and chaperones each escorting their assigned classes. Haru and Scarlet were within a smaller group, sticking close to one another while they were taken through the tour.

For the brown fox, each piece down to the glossy marble floor they walked on was astonishing. She felt as if she was tainting the ground just by walking on it. The building itself was artwork, with its interior structures climbing upwards to the painted ceiling. Designed with cherubs, and milky clouds that looked over their heads.

But that was just the entrance. The further they walked, the more displays that came into view. The teacher at the front of the class held her booklet of notes within her arms, explaining the history and importance of each piece. Despite being all the way in the back of the group, Scarlet could hear her clear as day. She listened intently to each description and named piece, admiring them from afar.

They entered a large area filled with marble statues that looked too soft to be stone.

The group came to a stop, standing in front of the infamous display of The Statue of David.

Many of the other kids giggled and whispered their snarky comments to one another, sharing their immaturity between friends. But Scarlet had her head turned up with awe. His form appeared so delicate, so fragile in its masculine body. She could only wonder how admirable he must’ve been in his time.

But she didn’t have to wonder. Her eyes panned across the open room, spotting a few other tourists who weren’t a part of the school's field trip. She watched as people paused to admire and gawk over the statue ahead of them. People Froze just to take photos, open a sketchbook, or to personally take in the sight. It was then she realized something within herself.

Her entire life she had been hiding behind David's shadow, an object other kids would avoid interacting with.. She was nothing compared to the famous artworks in this very museum, who stood tall in the shining light.

She wanted to be loved like that.

“Okay students! We are going to allow you to split off into groups. Each one of you will individually find a piece that personally correlates to you. Make sure you write down the name and why you choose it.” The teacher explained the assignment in further detail, why simultaneously passing out small packets to students. Scarlet paid no attention to it, until one of these packets was handed over to her by a freckled face.

“Wanna go Somewhere else? There's a lot of people in this area-” Harus smile showed a bit of anxiety within it. Which was strange, he was never one to mind heavy crowds or loud environments. But who is Scarlet to complain? Accepting the packet with a nod before they separated from the rest of the group.

The pair wandered the many halls, each room different than the last.

They stopped by tons of displays. More statues, sculptures, the most creative decorative arts, and even written poetry.

They pointed and laughed at many different works. Haru was working overtime to get Scarlet to enjoy her time away from home, and it was surprisingly working.

But unfortunately for them, nothing was quite standing out enough for their assignments.

“Well, this is the last room, hopefully we can find something.. otherwise we just might have to lie and pick that weird looking dog statue.” Haru giggled as he held open the museum's walk through map.

“Mhm..” Scarlet muttered in response, walking side by side with the other as they wandered into the last room they had yet to see.

It was a lot larger and spacious than the previous rooms. With only the walls holding individual displays as the floor stayed clear.

It was home of many infamous artworks Scarlet had only read about or heard of.

You hear of these famous works all the time.

The Mona Lisa,

Girl with a Pearl Earring,

And the Birth of Venus…

But there was one in particular that stood out the most to Scarlet's eyes. It was surprisingly one she had never seen before.

As Her and Haru pointed and discussed each painting, they came face to face with a breathtaking scene. She had almost passed right by it, until her eyes did a double take.

An oil painting mainly consisting of blues and yellows intertwining with one another. From where Scarlet stood, she could almost see each individual brush stroke as they swirled within the speckled mess that it was. The moon and stars painted over a sleeping city, giving this sense of bliss..

It could easily have been mistaken for a child’s work if it weren’t for its golden framing.

But something felt unique about its visual appearance.

The swirls of lights were hypnotic to Scarlet. She felt like she could see the night sky right in front of her.

While the painting had its own description and history, to her, it reminded her of something bigger.

The Aurora Borealis.

dancing lights, providing a blanket of sanctuary over the many houses and strong standing tower below. She could imagine it herself, laying within that snowy linen land. Underneath the stars and swirling lights.

That’s what it reminded her of.

And god, was it beautiful.

In her hypnotic state, her eyes glossed downward to the silver plate.

“The Starry Night.

By Vincent Van Gogh”

Huh. She thought. What a terrible name.

“Ooo, look at this one! It’s a pot of sunflowers!” Haru grinned, enough to bare his teeth with his dorky dimples. He pointed to an artwork that was similar in style. Actually, it's too similar. It was Van Goghs ‘Sunflowers’. “I think I’m gonna do this one. Just to play it safe”

“How about you? Have you picked one yet?”

Her head panned back to the oil painting. Giving it one last look over before confirming her decision.

“Yeah. I think I found the perfect one.”

That summer ..

The beginning of highschool was something many 8th graders were excited for. For whatever reason, it made kids feel mature and impactful, as if their lives were finally starting to be something greater than coloring in between the lines.

That year was quite busy for a certain golden child. After 8th grade had ended, Haru was gifted with the many different opportunities of attending high end schools. Hell, even a few colleges wanted him for his brains.

Even with schools trying to entice him into their programs, he refused.

It was a surprise to everyone. Why would he turn down such opportunities?

Because he couldn’t bare the idea of leaving his best friend.

Him and Scarlet had spent the entire summer together that year. And undergone some changes.

Usually, Haru was always one to stop by the Fox household and spend a couple of nights there. Together the two would do as they always did, venture off outdoors within Scarlets forest of a backyard.

Together, they would explore the land like children. Being out in nature was something they both enjoyed, and embraced within one another. It got them both to laugh and chase each other through fields of trees and daffodils, climb the highest trunks, and fall into the messiest mud puddles.

However their fun was cut short this year.

It was a day like no other, the pair had a long morning of racing through vines and twigs, and were now officially headed back to Scarlet's home before the sun could set.

Silently walking back with their exhausted legs, Scarlet noticed Harus demeanor was different than usual. His head hung low, and she could almost feel him dragging weight behind his shoulders.

She gave him a nudge with her elbow, in an attempt to grab his attention away from the dirt on his shoes. “What’s up? You’re wilting.”

The corner of his lips rose up slightly over her teasing, but his smile didn’t last long. Nervous, he held the back of his neck.

“My mom uh.. wants me to go to Hemoria for school this year. She wants me to leave in a few weeks.. in the middle of summer…”

Hemoria. Harus home.

He had two mothers, and their relationship was a rocky one. They seemingly really loved and cared for one another. However, one of his moms was never in the picture. She lived within Hemoria, and practically dominated it. Her entire work life was within this world of people. Haru rarely saw her, maybe on holidays or birthdays, but she always made her trips quick and short.

But not this time. Instead, she wanted Haru to go to her.

“Shit- why? It’s not because of your—“ she gestured her hand up and down, pointing at him.

He shrugged, kicking a small rock ahead of their path. “Pretty much. Something about fulfilling destiny? I dunno.. I guess she wants me to start a life out there..”

At that moment, Scarlet could see where Harus heartache laid. He didn’t want to leave, and he didn’t want whatever lifestyle his mother was trying to build on him.

She hooked her arm around the taller kid's shoulders, almost forcing him to bend to her level while they walked. “It’s only a year. Can't be too bad, right? Hey, why don’t you bring me back a souvenir? Hemoria has got to have some crazy looking insects. I’ll see you next year anyways, she can’t keep you out there forever.”

As much as it pained her to say that, she didn’t want to keep being the reason Haru was holding himself back. Sure, she was grateful that he tried all this time to stick by her side, but he had much more to his life ahead of him.

The gesture was enough to get him to smile, his cheeks pink in color.

“Yeah.. I’ll see you next year.”

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

Haru fumbled with the schedule in his hand, his bag slung over his shoulder half open. It was the first day of sophomore year, and he was more than lost.

There had been a bit of a delay within his trip, and he had only arrived back home yesterday. It was a rush to get his mind into the back to school mentality. And because of this, he had a late start with obtaining his classes.

He hadn’t met any of his teachers, let alone visited the school he was attending. This was his very first time on property, and the massive waves of children made it ten times more difficult to get through.

But there was one thing he looked forward to.

Scarlet.

They had spent so long apart. The rest of the 8th grade summer, freshman year, and the summer after that. Haru had been so busy that he hardly was able to even send a text. It was rare for him to talk, and usually their conversations were cut short whenever Harus mom bugged.

But just before he returned home, Haru was able to ask Scarlet about what school she had been attending, and when could he enroll for the upcoming year.

They had planned it all out, that Haru would finally return and they could meet at the hidden staircase across the school main entrance.

It was a set of stairs not many people used, mostly because of how far it was from everyone’s classrooms, but it was quite a popular hang out spot before the bell would ring.

Haru had followed the complex path mentioned by Scarlet's text, it felt like he had been shoving through crowds and walking for hours.. but finally, in the distance, he could spot two fluffy brown fox ears that were surrounded by a number of other people.

It was her.

So naturally, his excitement caused him to rush closer, details coming into view.

Did she cut her hair? It Looks shorter.

And did she get taller? No, maybe it just looks that way because she's sitting down.

Woah.. she really changed up her style.

Harus footsteps slowed as he approached the group of about 4-5 people not including his friend. They were all huddled in a circle, seemingly in their own little cliche. Haru couldn't make out much right away, especially with Scarlets back facing him. All he could make out was that her clothes made her seem bigger, more broad underneath the shredded layers. She had a lot of silver on too, who knew she became such a big fan of jewelry and piercings within the past year. No one seemed to really notice him walking up. They all mistook him as some weird bright and shiny kid trying to fit into their heavy gothic and punk scene. Haru ignored the few glares and judgy looks from the others. Innocently smiling.

Nervously, Haru spoke through their laughs and casual banter.

“Hey! Scarlet!”

That familiar brown ear twitched in his direction, causing Their head to turn over their shoulder for a look.

Harus eyes widened as he stood completely still, paralyzed by this intense aura radiating off who he assumed to be his childhood friend. The figure rose from the bottom of the staircase, turning to now stand in front of Haru. Or more so- loom over him.

Crap. wrong person.

A panic set in as he realized he approached the wrong person. After all, the person standing in front of him was a far more intimidating male. Some dusty colored wolf he had mistaken for his foxy friend. He defensively held up his hands, face red with embarrassment. “Ah- sorry, I thought you were- someone… else..” He choked on his own words, slowly losing his train of thought as his mind blanked. And then, he realized it.

It was that same nasty scar that stretched from the corner of the mouth, all the way back to the ear lobe. And those glaring eyes perfectly matched the sacred pattern of flames stained over his cheeks and forehead.

Haru watched as one of the girls of the group leaned over, hugging herself around the arm of the male that disturbingly resembled his friend. “You know this guy, Vincent?”

Everyone could see the expression of confusion on Harus face.

The male fox made a deep laugh, tilting his head “You don't recognize me, sunflower? It's good to see you again, old friend.”

… “Scarlet?!”

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

I FINALLY finished this after stalling it for months now. Just something cute and simple, because Vincent is dear to my heart. To clear up any possible confusion, I don’t necessarily label Vincent as “trans.” Mostly because he didn’t quite have much of a transition due to shifting abilities, but I guess he could fall under the category since he was afab. I personally don’t mind when people label him as trans, but if you were to ask him, he wouldn’t fully agree. He just doesn’t like labels 🙀

But anywho!! Ig this fic could be an introduction to Vincent’s gender awakening and Harus gay awakening👨‍🦯

[adamwatchesmovies]

Nightcrawler (2014)

Nightcrawler is scary good. Technically, it’s not a horror film but it always feels like it’s on the verge of becoming one. Actually, a serial killer or supernatural entity showing up would probably make this film less frightening because what's portrayed is all so real.

Nightcrawlers spend their time listening to the police radios for bad news. Car crashes, home invasions, robberies or any other violent crime means it’s time for them to grab their camcorders & sound equipment, rush to the scene, film the events and sell the footage to news programs. The more shocking, the more valuable the images. When Lou (superbly acted by Jake Gyllenhaal) learns about nightcrawling, he gives it a shot and finds he’s got a natural talent for it, but what kind of person would?

A protagonist doesn’t have to be likable to be gripping and Nightcrawler perfectly demonstrates this perfectly. You don’t like Lou. He’s weird. He’s a creep. At best, he has a talent for finding the best angle to show the suffering and fear people feel on their way to the police station, hospital or morgue. At his worst, he’s able to pinpoint people’s weaknesses and exploit them to his own advantage. It’s not that he’s charismatic, it’s that he’s like a magnet for the weak and desperate. I bet everyone who ever crosses his path comes to regret it eventually, even if his ability to learn quickly makes him very good at this business he’s just learned about.

There’s a part of you that can’t quite accept that someone like Lou, someone who is so banally evil, could just stumble upon his calling and quickly become highly successful. You keep hoping that either he will make a mistake and be forced to eat a big slice of humble pie or come to a realization that will force him to change. The scary thing about Nightcrawler is that you keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting but that moment never comes. Even though there’s a sliver of you that never quite gives up (credit to Jake Gyllenhaal and his screen presence), you mostly abandon hope. Instead, you start wondering about the people around him. The first is Rick (Riz Ahmed), a young homeless man who is desperate for money and unfortunately, not too bright. When he appears, he’s exactly what Lou is looking for: someone with few ambitions that's filled with uncertainty and easily manipulated. The second person caught in Lou's web is Nina Romina (Rene Russo), director of the morning news at KWLA 6. At first, you think they're cut from the same cloth. She asks Lou for footage of violent crime in affluent, white areas of the city. When she receives it, we see her… not quite manipulate the footage, but omit certain information to stretch out a story, make it more sensational and tap into her audience's fears. Unfortunately, the apparent kinship between them gets her in a situation that’s just vile. “Nightcrawler”? More like “Skincrawler”.

All this makes the film sound all sorts of unpleasant. It would be if you didn’t know that it was all fake. Gyllenhaal is so good as Lou you kind of can’t believe you’ve seen him before as someone handsome, charming or heroic. You’re mesmerized by his character. The intelligent screenplay by Dan Gilroy, who also directs, is another standout. This movie has a lot of smart things to say about ethical journalism, the sensalization of news and how we contribute to the process by being drawn to these horrible stories. Admit it, if there are two articles in the newspaper and you only have time to read one, you’re drawn to the bloodshed.

Nightcrawler gets so dark at points it might even become funny to some. It's so bleak and scary, it might leave you shaken. Either way, there’s no forgetting this movie. I saw it in theaters in 2014 and was stunned watching it again because I vividly remember nearly every single moment. (On Blu-ray, February 17, 2023)

[cherienymphe]

Idk if you’re into PJO or have watched the series but I feel like you didn’t have to be to know that Walker Scobell was HEAVILY sexualized for the month that the show was coming out… which is oddly alarming considering he’s FIFTEEN (and was FOURTEEN at the time).

Anyways, was just wondering if you had any thoughts on the topic, but I suppose they can’t be anything unusual, cuz pretty much everyone agrees that that era was weird af (and if you don’t agree then you’re seriously disturbed—not saying YOU, but just ppl in general cuz). The whole Lucky-being-seventeen thing kinda reminded me of that

Actually no this is the first I'm hearing of this. The only incident I know of was this 25 year old woman who was run out of the fandom and off twitter for literally admitting to being attracted to him and wishing she was his age but outside of that singular situation I didn't know this was a thing 😭 I assume you mean adults being weird because I've seen a few complaints from other adults about literal teenagers finding him attractive which...I don't really get tbh. He was 14, 15 now so why wouldn't other kids in his age range gush about him? I vividly remember being 14 and saying the wildest things about a 17 year old Niall 💀

I personally prefer to stay out of children's business but I'd thought and hoped that incident with that woman was a singular thing nipped in the bud

[disappearingground]

Jenny Lewis: soundtrack of my life

The Guardian September 14, 2014

The singer-songwriter on her mum’s amazing vinyl collection, her days as an LA raver, and why jazz helps clear her palate

By Laura Barnett

Born in Las Vegas in 1978 and raised in California’s San Fernando Valley, Lewis started out as a child actress. She sidestepped into music in the late 90s, co-founding the LA indie four-piece Rilo Kiley. She has gone on to perform with her boyfriend, fellow musician Johnathan Rice, as one half of the duo Jenny and Johnny, and released three solo albums. Her latest, The Voyager, is out now on Warner Music.

THE FIRST RECORD I EVER BOUGHT Pass the Dutchie by Musical Youth (1982)

I must have been seven or eight when I bought this novelty reggae song on seven-inch. I was a working actor at the time – I’d been in 100 commercials, and guested on various TV shows – so I had a few dollars in my pocket. As I recall, this cost me $3.50. I took it home and couldn’t stop playing it: I was just obsessed with the upbeat rhythm. I had no idea what reggae music was, but it spoke to me. The fact it was being performed by children – Musical Youth were all kids – made me start to think that music might be something I could do, too. Of course I didn’t know what a dutchie was back then, though. I do now.

THE RECORD THAT INTRODUCED ME TO FEMALE SINGER-SONGWRITERS Gonna Take a Miracle by Laura Nyro (1971)

My mother had a great vinyl collection, and she was constantly playing female singer-songwriters. I first learned about classic song structures by listening to them, and Laura Nyro particularly stood out. Her voice was outside what you’d usually hear on the radio; that really appealed to me. I grew up singing with my mom and sister, so I loved its strong gospel feeling, with Labelle [a vocal group of the 60s and 70s, with Patti LaBelle as lead vocalist] backing Nyro. It seemed to fit in with the way we all related to each other as a family: whenever things were weird around the house, we’d sing a song.

THE ALBUM THAT SUMS UP MY YEARS AS A TEENAGE RAVER 3 Feet High and Rising by De La Soul (1989)

My mother’s records were formative for me, but when I became a teenager, I wanted to find songs that she wasn’t hip to. She was so hip, though, that I had to go outside rock’n’roll – so for about 10 years, I only listened to hip-hop, house and techno. My friends and I were all ravers – we went to those first underground raves in LA in the 90s, which were really wild. We were kids – 15 and 16 years old – driving around with strangers; we’d go to a shop at midnight on Melrose, and they’d have a little print-out with directions to the club. It could be out in Palm Springs, or downtown LA, or Orange Country; we’d get there at 2am and rave until 10. I can’t believe our parents let us stay out that late – I did sneak out my window a few times. But my mom was still down with hip-hop. She’d answer the phone to me, like, “Yo yo yo, what’s up?”

THE RECORD THAT REMINDS ME OF TRAVELLING Exile in Guyville by Liz Phair (1993)

When I was 18, I took a trip to Thailand with a friend. We stayed for a month. Bangkok was very raw, for a teenager: there were no cellphones, no internet, and the only music I had with me was this cassette by Liz Phair. I was writing a lot of poetry, and she embodied a talky style of songwriting that I found very accessible. I listened to the album over and over again on my Walkman. I remember vividly taking a tiny ferryboat from Bangkok to a little island, listening to this and thinking, “Holy shit, I hope one day I can make music like this.”

THE ALBUM I WISH I’D MADE MYSELF Wit’s End by Cass McCombs (2011)

This is the perfect folk record. The songs are so classic, and I really love his direct way of songwriting. I’ve met Cass a couple of times out at this surf shop in Venice Beach called Mollusk. It’s a tiny little place where all these LA musicians get together; you can drink beer, sit on the floor, and watch these great improvisers riffing off one another. I saw Cass play there, and he was amazing. It all comes back to the songs: they are of such quality that I always want to hear what he has to say.

THE RECORD THAT MOST INSPIRES ME AS A SONGWRITER Dead Dog’s Eyeball by Kathy McCarty (2005)

McCarty is a former waitress from Austin, Texas. She befriended the great Daniel Johnston, and decided to make this record of his songs. It’s one of the best, most story-driven collection of songs I know. They’re both simple and profound; each line punches you in the gut. There’s a really beautiful song called Hey Joe; it’s about depression and mental illness, but you’d never know that unless you knew a little bit about Daniel Johnston’s backstory [Johnston has been diagnosed with an extreme form of bipolar disorder]. With a female vocalist interpreting these songs, they seem so much more polished.

THE ONE THAT CLEARS MY HEAD Reunion with Chet Baker by the Gerry Mulligan Quartet (1957)

When you’re talking about your own music every day, listening to bands, going to festivals, you can kind of lose sight of your initial connection with music. Instrumental music – especially jazz – helps me refocus. Jazz was, again, something my mum always played around the house – but this record is particularly special. There’s something about its west-coast sound – two horns, trumpet, baritone sax; it’s just beautiful, otherworldly. I have it on vinyl and on a CD I bought so long ago that it’s covered in scratches. The album acts like a reset button for me: whenever I put it on, it clears the decks.

THE RECORD THAT KEEPS ME IN TOUCH WITH HOME The Very Best of Ethiopiques (2007)

My boyfriend Johnathan and I listen to a lot of world music together, and we particularly love this beautiful compilation. When I’m not with him, out on the road, I put on this record, and it’s like I’m home again. Modern technology makes being apart much more manageable – I can just Skype him when I’m in hotel rooms doing my nails, or something – but this record makes me feel like he’s here with me. It’s so soothing; it’s like liquid morphine.

[beninparis]

Blog Submission 3

I remember vividly the moment I realized we had a week left. I was sitting in my bed looking at the schedule and how many days we had left, when the realization hit me. I’m not sure I could call it a full on cry, but I did shed actual tears in that moment. Even if I were able to somehow see everything, I still don’t think I would be ready to go back. There’s something different about Paris. It’s all of what I stated before, but there might be something else that I can’t identify until after the fact. A few times now, I have considered making my return be a goal, either for another few weeks or even moving in for a good chunk of my life. I can’t guarantee it would be the same or better than this, but it’s probably worth a try.

Bastille Day was a bit of rush in the last few minutes, partially because of me. Aiden said “We were going to take the metro to the Eiffel Tower.” I said “We can watch from the Seine dude.” That we did. It was crowded, we had to walk for miles, and we didn’t really get the best view. Then again though, this was probably better so we didn’t have to take the hour walk home at 1 am.

The hill to MontMartre offered the second best view of Paris, with the third being the Arc De Triomphe. The kind of view that makes Paris seem smaller while simultaneously reminding you how big it is. I would say it’s fitting that the church be put here to remind Parisians of God’s position above them, but that metaphor gets ruined whenever you remember the church isn’t the highest thing in Paris. With that being said though, it’s one of the best and most grand churches I have seen in Paris. I don’t know if it’s the best church (I wish Notre Dame were open for me to compare) but I do know it’s the one church we went to that compelled me to pray beneath one of the statues. Something about the kind of power that the building has. The rest of the street is glorious too, but in a more secular way. The readings describe the hill as devoted to art and pleasure and that can be seen in the many artists at work and the various restaurants.

I went to the sewers. They stink. They're also probably cleaner than my old highschool’s bathrooms. It was fascinating to see how the city handles its water and to see another portion of Paris’ underground “city”. Honestly though, I think I was more fascinated by the rat monster, a weird chimera involving a rat, a mantis, and a scorpion. It just appears in one of the tunnels and is even acknowledged in the gift shop, but has no context or explanation. I tried Googling the thing and I think even Google is drawing blanks. I’ve become a character in a sci-fi B movie because I need to know more about the creature and its origins.

I don’t think anything is going to match Atelier des Lumieres. Even after the readings, I still didn’t know what to expect. I was presented with one of the most immersive presentations of art, history, and life I have ever seen. It’s presented in a way that surrounds you and becomes the only world there is for a moment. Firouzen insisted we watch from the railway upstairs, which was a nice break. Yet, I feel like there was just as much, sometimes more magic in standing below and facing the walls head on. Almost like you’re part of the exhibit too. Also, someone please recreate this kind of thing but with quicker animations and house music. That would be my kind of rave.

Now who could pass up a chance to graffiti a wall and not get arrested for it? Fortunately, I got to do that and have my first try and spray painting. We went over the basics first: lines, filling in shapes, and gradients. We had to choose a word or phrase for the workshop, something that would sum up Paris and our time with it. One of the first things that came to my mind was Lee Ann Womack, who said that if we had the choice to sit it out or dance, she hoped we would dance. I think the rest of the class were on the same page, whether they knew the song or not.

Of course though, I wasn’t going to end my trip to Paris without a certain stop. I mentioned the third and second best views previously. Here’s the first.

The tower was packed and I managed to get on in time to watch the sunset as I ascended. The fire of the sun was the warmest as it left the sky, dipping down below the city in an orange ball of light. The tower soon became as golden as the streets would become while the sky darkened from blue to black. It’s probably best that I did this in the last week, so that I have a little bit more of a relation with those golden streets. Despite the place swarming with people, nothing was going to take away from the climactic view. Except maybe the champagne price. Seriously, 46 euro for a glass? Either way, this view felt somewhat sacred, the thing that my applications, planning, travel, and classwork all built up to. The moment the sky blackens and the streets become gold is the kind of fantasy that so many movies and tv shows sell Paris on. Only it wasn’t a fantasy. It was Monday night.

Versailles was a decent follow up, not as impressive but still with its own charm. As an occasional hunter, I personally think an uppity lodge surrounded by gold is an insult to the earthy nature of hunting, but the royal family was wired differently. So differently that the queen thought make-believing as peasants with life sized playhouses was a normal thing to do. Either way, it was a lovely place and row boating was one the best things to do on a day like that. I also learned something about myself. I am not very fast.

I think my biggest concern is, who will I be whenever I come back home? Will I be better than I was or as I was? I’m told by Nancy that travel changes me and I sincerely hope she’s right. The closest I can think of to a change is in writing. I still remember the comment Nancy made to me after my first blog post and what it made me feel. I also remember the comment she and Herman made about the follow up post. They seemed like they were a little surprised with me and that made me surprised in return. It also made me write a bit more than I probably would have otherwise. I wrote in Cafe de Flore for extra credit and I wrote about the church where the concert was. Nothing earth shattering, just what I saw and what I felt and I tried to dress it up as fancy as can be. I know I shouldn’t seek validation and doing that can be a danger for many artists, but damn does it feel nice. If they have a knack for it, then I might go even further.

When people say that Paris is a city of love, they usually mean a romantic love. To me, it’s a love of life.

Tips:

Get to know your breakfast options, most of the time it’s just Boulangerie goods, but you can find other options if you look enough.

Learn how to work the transit system. The metro at the very least.

If the cheese has mold in it and its blue cheese specifically, you can eat it. If there’s mold on the rinds, avoid the rinds. In fact, avoid most rinds.

Be prepared for blisters. Blisters are inevitable.

Dance.

[pornoes]

My rambling thoughts on Skinamarink a few weeks later

I fucking loved this movie. Took me a few days to reach that conclusion though. A few points since I don’t want to write an entire essay:

This was the scariest movie I have ever seen if you use the metric of “amount of terror per minute”. I was uneasy by the time we reached the title card, nervous after the first bit of dialogue ended, and fully terrified shortly thereafter.

The grainy visual effect had me constantly seeing things in the dark corners that weren’t there. The camera rarely focusing on a specific subject had me searching for what was hidden in the shadows at first, and as time went on it had me almost too scared to look

I love the use of the long static shots for the same reason as above, but also cuz it really messed with my mind. At first I had it figured out - a moving shot was one of the kids’ perspectives. But wait, now this moving shot isn’t their perspective. Oh, but wait… now this static shot IS the kid’s perspective. It made it unclear whose eyes you were seeing through and left me with the horrifying conclusion that EVERYTHING was a perspective shot, but it wasn’t always the kids’.

Small details really did it for me: 7 digit phone numbers cuz area codes weren’t a thing in the early 90s. I forget - this movie was set in 94, right? Well anyways I was in preschool in 94 and this was just enough to really put me back in time and connect me to being small

The use of subtitles was brilliant. You know how in dreams, nonsense stuff will just happen and since it’s in your own mind, you don’t need interpretation? Your brain came up with it and assigned meaning to it so nonsensical things just make sense. I think they achieved this concept irl with the inaudible dialogue coupled with subtitles. It gave it meaning and understanding in real-time

This whole movie felt like someone recorded a nightmare I had as a child and projected it onto the screen. I haven’t felt that level or kind of fear since I was small. The fear of the dark was so potent and so, so scary when I was a toddler. This movie made me feel that again at 30. Man, the shot of Kaylee staring down the dark hallway, bracing herself to go into the dark… I remembered so vividly what it was like going into the basement when I was 5.

I don’t know if it’s fair to call it a movie, it felt like an audio-visual experience. I’m not saying that to be pretentious, I just think “movie” has certain criteria and connotations that this thing just does not meet lol. I totally understand the hate it’s getting, it’s really freaking weird. But as someone who grew up watching unsettling flash videos on albinoblacksheep in 2004 when I was way too young, this really hit the spot

I also watched a lot of it like this 🫣

[thatawkwardzillennialfangirl]

Song-esthesia

Hello!

Before I start, I just want to say that I failed my 2022 resolution of running this blog. I became super busy with life and started a new job in the final quarter of the year. But to be honest, these blog topics started popping up in my head unexpectedly and by the time I am going to write my thoughts here, I suddenly became lazy or don't have time.

I cannot guarantee that it will happen next year but I will try my best to get this blog running.

Anyway, let's talk about my so-called song-esthesia.

It's so unlike Synesthesia where when I hear something, I tend to taste or see colours (aka senses combining together). But, I tend to associate songs with certain portions of the road that we tend to drive in when going somewhere – whether it's to the city or back to my hometown.

This idea came by after hearing the first few notes of this 2007 GMA-7 Station ID that I saw in a Facebook page where they share some old ads that I grew up watching and it immediately refreshed the memory of the song (surprisingly, I remember the words).

Since the station ID was released in 2007 (I was in 4th grade and around 9-10 years old), I vividly remember the time that I heard this song.

Going home from my grandparents' house when they were still living up north and waking up hearing this in the radio as we almost arrive in my hometown. It was a very wet and gloomy setting with raindrops falling on the car and us stuck in traffic.

That is not the only song tho, I tend to associate some songs from Sarah G's "Becoming" album with a certain portion of SLEX. Maybe because I tend to listen to the album on my Walkman as we are heading home from the mall. (Also, subtle flex, that is the only album that I had her signature because I met her when I was a kid). Could've been my collector's item from the POV of my Popster fangirl days. I admit that I have a strong memory when it comes to advertisements that I have watched on TV and songs/jingles that go along with it. Mostly, I tend to associate it with memories that I can still visualise in my head. It was such a weird feeling but it's also good.

I may have Hyperthymesia. But I know I don't because I don't know what happened on a certain day, but I can remember what happened on a certain timeframe of a year (e.g. early 2000s/2010s etc).

My brain is weird sometimes.

[pat-hockstetters-fridge]

Hello! I just saw you are currently hiperfixated on the lost boys and I'm happy to say me too!. Could you be kind enough to write a Dwayne x reader in which Dwayne for the first time imposes himself on his brothers to keep the girl that he likes for himself, instead of sharing?

A/N: Thank you for the picture 😏 Also, hints of David/Michael cause I ship them and this request was just for Dwayne

Disclaimer: Unless you ask specifically for a gender neutral or male reader, reader will always be AFAB

Sharing Is Caring But Unfortunately I Don’t Care

Dwayne sat on the couch stoically, watching you wrestle with Marko. His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. He didn’t even notice David watching him watch you.

Marko flipped you rather roughly and Dwayne jumped to his feet. “Marko!” He barked. “Mind your strength.”

Marko didn’t listen, didn’t even acknowledge him, and Dwayne growled, stalking over to him and pulling him off of you. In his other hand, he grabbed the back of your shirt and hauled you up, very reminiscent of someone grabbing a kitten by the scruff of its neck.

“Hey, Dwayne, what the hell man! You can’t keep her to yourself the whole time she’s here!” Marko protested. “Yeah, baby,” Paul stole you as soon as Dwayne let go, spinning you under his arm. “We want some lovin’ too!” He leaned in and Dwayne roughly slapped his arm off of you.

Paul stepped back in surprise.

You let yourself be manhandled, not really wanting to get into whatever weird, vampire territorial shit was going on.

“Dwayne, what is going on-“ “She’s not available for sharing,” Dwayne hissed. “She’s mine.”

David had half a mind to reprimand Dwayne for treating and talking to his brothers like that, but he could still vividly remember the possessiveness he’d felt over Michael for the first few weeks. So instead, he took a gentler approach.

Putting one hand on Dwayne’s shoulder, who snapped at him, he raised his free hand in surrender. “Alright, relax. She’s yours. We won’t ask you to share. Paul and Marko will back off, won’t they?” He gave a pointed look at the pair.

They nodded rapidly. “Sorry to offend, man,” Paul atoned.

Dwayne’s shoulders relaxed slightly.

He turned to you, rubbing your upper arms gently. “I’m sorry for grabbing you like that… Come on, I’m taking you home.”

You take his hand and now his shoulders fully relax. You follow him out of the cave with an apologetic wave goodbye to the gang.

At the mouth of the cave, Dwayne picks you up, preparing to fly to avoid the stairs. You wrap your legs around his waist and rest your head in the crook of his neck, focusing on his heat. He was somehow always warm, despite his undead status.

He flies you up the cliffside and to his bike, setting you down in the seat. You don’t go to straddle it, instead staying seated facing one side and grabbing Dwayne’s belt loops to keep him in front of you.

You grin up at him.

“So what was that about?”

His cheeks darkened slightly, and you were almost convinced he was blushing.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“I thought you guys shared everything,” you teased, but instantly regretted it when his eyes widened and his expression became distraught. “I- did- do you want me to share you with them?”

“No!” You quickly correct him. “No. I like being yours.” Dwayne grinned. “So you didn’t mind? I feel like I got a little possessive there. I hope you know I don’t think I own you or anything, I’m just… attached.”

You laugh, pulling him in between your thighs by his belt loops.

“Well you’re in luck, cause I’m finding myself quite attached to you too.”