#i just post whatever tf i want and sometimes people don't feel that

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[snickerdoodlles]

emberfaye replied to your post "choose violence ask game except its just me complaining about fic tropes..."

☕☕☕☕

am going to do my absolute BEST not to ramble too much here, but okay so!! 4 Chay things that will have me back-flipping out of a fic at the speed of light:

babyfication of Chay

i just. ugh. ugh. he is not a baby. he's a 17-18yo guy who half-raised himself due to some shit circumstances and took care of himself entirely by himself for minimum several months. the only difference between him and an adult is that he's not making his own income. Porsche and Arthee doing their best to give Chay as much of a childhood as they can afford him still doesn't change the fact that Chay grew up young and fast just like the rest of this cast. if he acts uwu innocent baby i'm gone. if the author calls him an uwu baby in their notes i'm gone. ugh.

being weird about Chay's or Barcode's age, specifically in regards to sex

as above, i'm pretty shirty about people babying him in general, but fandom is plain weird about Chay having sex. esp him and Kim having sex. 1. their age gap is not that big, and their circumstances have left them on pretty equal footing re the growing up too fast thing. 2. please assess why you think 18 fixes whatever your concerns are with 17yos having sex. 3. teens have sex. dunno what tf was happening with the rest of you but i knew kids even young as junior high who were already fucking. sure, i thought they were fucking idiots for it, but my concerns about people having sex young are rooted in the fact that sex is an inherently very vulnerable act and that's a lot to put yourself thru emotionally during the age range when everything's a wild emotional cocktail. but like. teens still do it. teens are gonna experiment with adult things and sometimes that means experimenting with sex. i personally might not think it's a good idea, but something not being a good idea doesn't inherently make it a bad one either. please stop being weird about it thanks.

calling Chay "bambi"

i just really don't like it. part of it's related to the babyfication thing, but mostly it's just one of those silly things my brain went nOPE on and oh well. back click. 😂

mischaracterizing Chay's anger

so like. this one is tricky because a lot of it comes down to personal interpretation of canon, but also like. a lot of my mischaracterization gripes involves people writing tropes or drama anger instead of Chay's anger, so. yeah. 😂 a lot of people default to writing explosive anger because it's easier to write, but in canon Chay is just. so completely not explosive. and it's not because he's bottling up anger (which!! even if he was, suddenly exploding due to pressure isn't a good thing, gah).

a lot of Chay's personality stems from Needing To Be Okay. a lot of Chay's personal motivations are trying to help Porsche with his burdens and when Porsche won't let him take on extra responsibilities, Chay does what he can to not add to Porsche's plate. and part of not being a burden is quietly dealing with his anger and resentments on his own time. (another factor playing into that is Porsche and Chay really only have each other-- Porsche deals with his anger very quietly too, and it's very characteristic of how they really don't want to hurt each other because they don't have many other people they care about, so they remove themselves from tense/bad situations best they can to reflect on their anger and return to talk about it after they've calmed down.)

Chay is fierce in his anger, but he withdraws when he's pissed and he always tries to talk it out with the intention of achieving clarity. and if i don't feel like a story's going to handle Chay's resentment/anger in a way that feels true to how it was shown in canon (there's a few litmus tests but mostly i'm going by vibes), i just click out because i already know any plot conflict won't feel fully or properly resolved to me in the end :/

[ send a ☕, get a bitchy* fic opinion ]

*personal opinion, I'm not going to be mean

[normalestenstars]

I'm so curious about the responses about the customer service regarding shu, I just know they would be really funny. He's a freakazoid weirdo

sure, i can copy & paste them! they're under the readmore because it's 29 responses and the post is super long

Shu responses

his demands are not on my level sir...

him or izumi. i feel like i would start crying instantly

Just remembering that one time he axed a pc, I know this isn't the same situation but it's still worrying.

He would be so rude. it was between Shu and Izumi aka the Karens of ES. Like sure wataru would pull some weird shit but that would be funny and I’d play along. Shu and Izumi would just scream at me as if it’s my fault that their favourite ice cream flavour ran out on a regular ass Thursday afternoon I’m not being paid enough to care about

i feel like it should be obvious. nightmare customer.

It. It's Shu. What else is there to elaborate, bro fought with a first year junior over bread in the cafeteria you think he's gonna cut ME some slack??

Shu was banned from using Twitter, I feel like he would be an awful Karen if he had to use customer service

he would have a really hard time speaking into the phone and following directions. i can deal with angry, miscommunication kills me

Karen energy

i feel like he would yell at me and i would cry then he would proceed to yell at me more for crying. or maybe Izumi would do that idk

I vaguely remember hearing that there was an incident where he axed (or almost axed) a computer bc of online comments or smth… so uhhhhhhhh yeah

if i mess up ONE THING he's going to start screaming at me in french

I hate the French language (I am French)

He can be really mean. And I don't speak French

i love shu but he's insufferable

itsuki shu axed his computer. itsuki shu is banned from social media. i have no doubts in my belief that he would be the WORST customer to be ever dealt with. you will hear this man be insanely specific about whatever kind of thing he's dealing with while you're stuck in your shift wanting to jump off a cliff as you speak to him. at some point in his complaints it strays away from what he actually wants from you and starts ranting about eichi and how he fucked up his life. if itsuki shu ever calls me im declining and blocking his number ASAP.

I would cry he's scary

can you fucking imagine.

I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH HIM 😭😭😭😭 LEAVE ME ALONE (NO HATE BTW)

shu would have me killed i fear he has the strongest karen energy out of the entire enstars cast

shu seems like he would feel entitled to getting a discount because i mispronounced a french word which offended him

He’s my silly little bingus freak but god he needs to calm tf down every once and a while… he also famously had his socmed privileges taken away by single hardworking mom ibara if i remember correctly… in conclusion, i’m handing the phone to someone else bruh never meet ur idols

i can't elaborate i'm getting scared just thinking about it

Not only do rich people have no idea how to treat retail workers like human beings, but Shu has a history of lashing out, sometimes violently! Love Shu with all my heart but is so picky and sensitive and i know that I will be yelled at

The second he pulls out 'non!' im gonna throw myself into a river

He’s really fucking perfectionistic i would cry but mayoi as a close second because he would just stay silent and not say anything but also not hang up for like 3 hours, he would be breathing heavily in the phone before letting out a squeak and hanging up ountil someone convinces him to call again and it just repeats

shu would yell at me :((( and i would start crying :((((

he's just kind of unbearable (complimentary) especially as any kind of customer

Everyone else's flavour of weird I can handle but I'd hand in my resignation if I needed to deal with Shu regularly. And I live a car ride away from France—I mean it.

[bunnyprismatic]

I'm pretty sure I'm the anon you mentioned. If you still like this guy after he encouraged whirl to self harm, that says a lot about you

I still like Rung, and I will vehemently state he's a terrible psychiatrist, and did fucked up things before and during the Lost Light quest. He's a messed up old man robot, I have never denied that. It's perfectly fine if you don't like Rung, hate him even, that doesn't bother me, Anon. It's absurd to go into a fandom and think everyone is going to like my fave blorbo equally. I hold similar strong dislikes to some fandom faves, a few my close friends adore. Either they're just not compelling to me as characters, or, I find their actions and behaviours in the comics to be too egregious to look past. The way that they act, what they have done, or how they treat others is upsetting to me personally, and I just can't look past it.

However...

I understand the feelings I have about these characters are a me thing. Whether their actions are something too close to abuse from my past, or a personality trait that just rubs me wrong, my dislike is personal. I also know that most people who like problematic characters don't agree with their problematic traits. They know their faults, they know they're not good, but are able to separate fiction from reality. A person who likes a problematic character usually isn't agreeing, condoning, or have committed the same crimes that character has. When a modicum of media literacy is applied to MTMTE then I can understand how people find characters like these appealing. Because the thing is Anon, yes, Rung is a fucked up old robot, but so is everyone else on that ship, and that's what makes MTMTE and LL really good. While I like a well written Good Guys Good and Bad Guys Bad story, sometimes ya crave a little nuance, ya know? A pinch of the grey morality makes for a tasty comic. Not a single robot on that ship is good, and if we were to give human laws and sensibilities to every one of the main cast, well that's going to be a problem, isn't it? Not only for the actions of their past, but also how they behave during the quest. They're all fucking assholes to some degree :"D I would never forgive a real, human, psychiatrist, who has been trusted with someone's vulnerable state if they did the things Rung did. But when it's a several-million years old, amnesiac elder god, giant, transforming robot from the planet Cybertron, well it makes them a little more interesting. All in all anon, if you find morally ambiguous, selfish, mean, spiteful, harmful characters are upsetting to you, then perhaps MTMTE and Lost Light isn't the right fit. That's okay though, as there's plenty of other pieces of TF media more aligned to the Good Guys Good, Bad Guys Bad narrative. You're welcome to hate Rung, and dislike me, you're free to block me, put Rung in the filters (I make sure to tag my reblogs and posts with #Rung for people who don't want to see him), whatever it is you need to do to protect your peace and curate your dash, go for it. And if you think me liking a problematic character, despite me acknowledging he is a terrible, woeful, psychiatrist by human standards, makes me a terrible, evil person who allows or is complicit in vile things like this. Especially without actually knowing me or my story, well that says a lot about you.

[blighted-lights]

choose violence; 1, 3, 6, 9, 13

(for this ask here!!! im still taking asks for this, so feel free to send more in!)

1: Character Everyone Gets Wrong

going to name several here, just because i can lol. for idw, its tailgate, drift, arcee, getaway, and tarn. for tfp, it's airachnid and knock out. jazz gets hit with this HARD no matter what continuity he's in and it's so frustrating seeing most fanon interpretations of him, because a lot of it is just rooted in racism. that isn't saying at all that people are intentionally being bigoted ofc, but a lot of the headcanons that people assign jazz and the frequent mischaracterization of him is... well. it's weird. it's weird.

3: Screenshot or Description of The Worst take You've Seen on Tumblr

so im not going to pull out direct screenshots on this, but there is a LOT of back and forth about sexuality headcanons in the tf community, and holy fuck does it get annoying sometimes. im full believer in the idea that anyone can headcanon any character as whatever they want, don't get me wrong, but there is such a lack of consideration for others and boundary crossing when it comes to people going "you're wrong, actually, and here's several paragraphs describing why". this character cant be bi for yadda yadda, they cant be trans bc yadda yadda, they cant be ace bc yadda yadda, or they can ONLY be ace bc of whatever reason. it's happened to me, to several of my mutuals, it's happened to other people i see just randomly in the transformers tag. there's been several vague posts made about people disagreeing with other people's takes and its just,,, it's draining, ngl. maybe not the worst takes i've seen overall but definitely one of the most frequent that annoy me

6: Which Ship Fans Are The Most Annoying?

obligatory "not all fans of these ship are annoying, this is me generalizing from what i've seen" warning here, but i think mega/op and mega/star take the cake. and dra/tchet. this is largely because there's such a big separation between the canon and fanon versions of these characters that seeing a lot of the fanart and fic made for them is just,,, agh. i can't really recognize these characters as who they're supposed to be because they've been so removed from how they're presented in canon media. and im NOT saying you have to strictly adhere to canon. because fuck canon, lol. but it comes to a point where these aren't even the same people anymore. and i wouldn't even care about the canon/fanon thing if some of these fans weren't so idk. mean? aggressive? when it comes to their shipping and people not agreeing with what they ship/how they present that ship? it's absolutely calmed down in recent years, though.

also there's a fair bit of dra/tchet fic and art that is just. absolutely riddled with casual classism, orientalism, and anti-sex work rhetoric, and its uncomfortable. so i tend not to engage much with the fandom on it.

9: Worst Part of Canon

this is such a vague question because i could say so much here, but i'm just going to go with the very biased answer of the frequent condescending way a lot of the beastformers are treated throughout idw. like. these are people. canon wants you to believe that these characters are just as sentient and alive as everyone else but just, jeez. look at what ravage does throughout all of mtmte. being pet, drinking out of bowls, sleeping under megatron's bed, the visual gag of megatron gifting him a bone in one of the cover pages for the holiday special in mtmte, nautica handing ravage a little energon treat, everyone calling him kitty. it's just. agh.

13. Worst Blorbofication

idw tailgate and ravage. absolutely tailgate and ravage, though drift fits here too. tailgate is an arrogant asshole who has a violent streak a mile long. ravage is a bitter, snarky jerk who was, at some point, considering on killing megatron. they're both complex adults and fanon does somewhat have a habit of waving these things away.

[okeydokeylackey]

Your secret valentine is back!! I've really enojyed reading your responses so far! The flowers you picked yesterday were so pretty raagghhherogihoeafowinedwc <3 <3

Also, the art you've posted recently is wildly amazing I literally cannot compliment you or your style enough. I want to eat it /pos.

For today's question- Amortentia! What would it smell like for your ocs? Who are they attracted to that makes it smell that way?

AND, on the other end, what would someone smell if they were attracted to your ocs?

If memory serves, one of your ocs is also on the aromantic spectrum, so what do you think they would smell, or just an aromantic person in general tbh, if they don't really experience romantic attraction?

Have a great day/afternoon/evening!

Until tomorrow! <3 <3 <3

Gonna give you the biggest platonic hugs I swear 😭

GOD OKAY I'M SO EXCITED TO ANSWER THIS I LOVE BEING ABLE TO TALK ABOUT MY AMORTENTIA HCs (I would draw something for this but alas I am working tirelessly on... a couple different comics actually 💀 Why did I do this to myself 💀)

So, important to note, the way I interpret and therefore write Amortentia is that it's, well, bad. Magic can't create real feelings and it ends up being more akin to... liquid Imperius, if that makes sense. The reason you smell what you're attracted to is because it's sort of preying on a more biological level again if that makes sense. This however does not make Aro/Ace people immune to it, it just... well, you'll see lol. As much as I enjoy the HCs that the potion could smell like... power, for example, unfortunately I'm married to the more dangerous interpretation

BUT I LIKE BEING ABLE TO USE THE SMELL AS A FUN CHARACTER THING! Although admittedly I struggle to conceptualize smells sometimes, so def making me think again!/pos

Caelestus

What he smells: Griffon spit, citrus, wet dog (I love Poppy but tell me that's not what she smells like)

What he smells LIKE: Cabbage rose (supposedly a very expensive perfume back in that era was made out of it), that "new clothes" smell, parchment

Breezy:

What she smells: Peanut butter, sunshine, gazelle musk

What she smells LIKE: Smoke, treacle, lavender, and like... oak-y idk why

Lily-Athena: SINCE THOUST INQUIRED

What she smells: Nothing. Genuinely, nothing. I have an outdated little doodle from pre-revamp where she's not particularly polite in how she conveys this fact during the 6th year potions lesson with Slughorn 💀

What she smells LIKE: Potion fumes, leather, antiseptics, notably cinnamon

Acacius: SINCE I CAN

What he smells: rose, setting spray, goat milk (do not question this 💀), whatever tf a thestral smells like (death, perhaps?)

What he smells LIKE: rose, mint, alcohol, that metallic smell you get when you touch a piece of jewelry (because of all of his rings and whatnot)

[plural-affirmations]

I'm really sorry for throwing this all here and you don't have to read or post it, I just need a safe space to scream where my friends/partner systems won't see. Cw for fusion talk, I don't know if that needs a warning

I think I'm starting to fuse with our host and I'm terrified.

I'm just going to call him T for simplicity's sake (he uses they/them pronouns, I'm the only one who can call him.. him. It's a persecutor thing.) but he's been our host since for about two and a half years. I split off about a year and a half ago.

I'm technically a duplicate of him, we're from the same source character, but we're very different. He's all fuckin.. Healed and matured and moved on from his shit, and I haven't. I'm still stuck in who I was and who I am. It's a little easier to live with now, but I feel like I'm the evil alter. I'm like a dark shadow of him, all the horrible parts of himself that he couldn't carry anymore got shaved off and formed into whatever lump of flesh I became.

And I'm fine with that. I can live with that. I don't want to change. I'm surviving just fine as I am and I actually have people around me who don't care that I'm an asshole.

But more and more lately it's felt like T and I are getting muddled. Another headmate said that our souls looked tangled, I don't know how tf he saw that but he's a demon so he just Knows Thing. Someone else explicitly said we're fusing and that I'm going to disappear, but I don't know if I can trust them, because they're a persecutor too and they like to target me.

I've been trying to let go of a lot of exotrauma lately and it's hard. I'm extremely connected to my source and I didn't get a happy ending. My entire existence was based around being manipulated, and that hasn't changed since coming to the system, it's just been new faces doing the same shit. I'm a persecutor that gets targeted by all the other persecutors. I'm pretty much a living punching bag.

But I met a guy in one of our partner systems and I really like him. They've got a bunch of littles that all seem to adore me and I don't know why. One calls me her big brother. There's people who like me. I'm really trying to let myself be ok and to accept that I'm allowed a happy ending this time and that I'm not putting people at risk just by admitting I care about them, but it feels like every step toward that gets me more and more tangled up with T. Me hating myself and him is the only thing that seems to be keeping us solidified on our own.

I'm not against fusion for the whole system, I get it happens sometimes, but I don't want it to happen to me. I don't want to disappear. I finally feel like I'm able to survive my shit enough to function and I have people who would miss me if I was gone.

But honestly I think the scarier idea is that I wouldn't. That I'd be the main one who got to stay. T is in a tangled ass polycule with seven people between our system and two others. And I only really like one of them, I kind of actively hate some of the others. One of the partner system boyfriends C would probably have a full nervous breakdown if he disappeared entirely.

I don't know what to do. Either I stay hateful and cruel and go back to beating up T and pushing everyone away to keep us separated, or we fuse and I either disappear, or destroy everyone else's happiness for the sake of my own. It feels like there's nothing here I can do to win and honestly it's all starting to feel like one cosmic joke. I can't even talk to anyone, because our two closest friends are our partner systems, and I don't want to freak them out.

I'm just so tired. I want to be happy without having it blow up in my face and it feels like that's not possible.

Listen. I used to be scared of fusion of any kind. Terrified. My first fusion was super unintentional, unexpected, and frankly painful for a number of reasons. I avoided the idea of it for so long that even when I realized it would probably happen regardless, I just ignored it. And that made it so, so much worse in the long run.

When it finally came around, it hurt. I felt like I was losing one of my best friends. And I was so caught up with who my predecessors were that I didn't know who I was for almost a full year.

But you know what? It got better. I slowly started picking up on things I liked and disliked, what little differences I experienced. After finding out I loved honey mustard when I used to hate it, it almost became a game to me. "Will I like this food Cameron was fond of? Maybe I'll try makeup like Cara. Maybe I'll create something entirely new for myself." (I did, by the way. Picked up HTML for the hell of it.)

The next time fusion happened, I let it. I felt it coming on for probably about a month or so, and I remembered what happened the last time. So, I sat down and breathed. Didn't panic the same way as before.

And after thinking, it was genuinely nice! I was excited to see how I'd grow this time. What idiosyncrasies I'd pick up. Whether I would still fantasize about Pipeline Punch Monster Energy when I was feeling down.

My gender and orientation went on full-tilt, but even that wasn't as upsetting as the first!

I'm going to tell you something I wish someone would've told me:

Change is going to come whether you enjoy it or not.

Yes, things will be different. Yes, it could very well be emotional and hard at times. But if you're fusing, it's usually for a really good reason, despite if you consciously know what that reason is yet or not. Brains have a pretty good idea of what's best for your system's wellbeing. They're certainly not perfect, but they know damn well how to process complex experiences most singlets wouldn't dream of.

You're not going to disappear, and things aren't going to be nearly as bad as they might seem. I promise you, you'll come out on the other end better. And if shit really does hit the fan? You'll know for next time.

🖤💜💙💚💛

[batsplat]

i’ve been into motorsports for..arounddd a year? and only got into tennis in the last couple months and i would like to tell you i really enjoy reading your posts about these things! i think you are very knowledgeable, I always get something interesting out of your posts. How did you get into these sports/how long have you been a fan?

that's really kind, thank you <3

i started playing tennis when i was like four years old, though i started taking it more seriously when i was around nine and that's probably also the time when i got more invested as a viewer. so uh... idk i didn't get into it, it's always just been part of my life. got my coaching license when i was fourteen, played for clubs + tournaments, spent most of my teenage summers on a tennis court every day either playing or coaching, played for my uni team etc. my mum's a tennis fan (albeit fairly casually at the time) so she got me to try it out, i enjoyed a bunch of different sports but for whatever reason that's the one that stuck. something about the one-on-one nature probably, also even as a kid i was really into the tactical flexibility and being able to choose yourself how to construct your technique. kinda a control freak sport i reckon

motogp would've been 2016, an auspicious year to join in some ways... i'd started following it quite casually around the time i was moving to a foreign country for the first time,, where i knew nobody, complete blank slate etc etc. i'd stumbled across motogp in quite a roundabout way, enjoying motocross youtube videos and like... probably went on the wikipedia page for what kind of motorcycle racing sports there are, idk lol. i just liked having a new interest when moving abroad, something that was completely For Myself and i wasn't going to discuss with anyone but just gave me something to get kinda excited about. different from tennis because obviously i play that myself and i talk a lot about it with my family and players and coaches and my high school maths teacher and i also watch matches with other people... which is great!! lots of fond memories with a lot of different people over the years!! but idk i do get discourse fatigue sometimes, so it's nice having a sport where it's like... if something in motogp pisses me off, i can just completely ignore it for three months and literally nobody will ask me about it or tease me or anything. shout out to me having to rock up to 7:30 am training on the monday after medvedev lost that ao 2024 final, love leaving the house at 6:20 to whack balls and pretend like i don't still want to blow my brains out over the match that is the main topic of conversation that morning

uhh as for what actually got me into motogp specifically... it was that tried and tested combo of 1) really not sure this sport should be legal what tf, and 2) wow they sure do keep referencing a lot of backstory i am completely unfamiliar with. as somebody who obviously also enjoys plenty of non-sports fandoms, there was something immediately appealing about coming across a sport with quite so much Lore that was also generally just insane. like i just did all these google sprees where you initially feel like you're being fed a new bonkers fact every minute, i love researching stuff, it's a sport that ends up almost doubling as a fun lil puzzle to pick at. and over the off-season 2016-17 where i was on the cusp of getting PROPER invested, i watched some old races based on like. reddit recommendations (race replays were WAY harder to find back then if you couldn't afford videopass lemme tell u). and one of the first ones i was actually able to access was due to some kind soul in september 2016 uploading one of those crappy 'i'm trying to avoid this getting copyright struck' streams of laguna seca 2008 with the beloved eurosport commentary. forty eight minutes and four seconds later i was a changed person. i was invested for life. extremely fortuitous timing with that upload tbh like idk if i would have stuck with the sport to the same extent if i hadn't been able to watch THAT exact race at that exact time. eye opening moment because it's like... the exact stuff i enjoy about tennis, this one-to-one tactically intricate excruciatingly tense psychologically vicious confrontation meets soul exorcism etc etc etc... like even with minimal backstory you watch it and you can TELL how much it matters, the commentary explains why what you're watching is unusual + surprising, what's going on strategically, this role reversal dynamic between the duellists, the emotional stakes of both sides... and then you watch how both parties act after the race like... yes haha yes (sickos). motogp uploading the aborted handshake attempt way back in 2008 changed lives. so obviously i immediately became fond of the surly australian git going :| throughout the post-race proceedings. few things in life i adore more than a sore loser

[roxannedaybreakermidnight]

Tackling a few of my most recent experiences wiwth the internet. Don't read if harassment and racism trigger you. I don't mean harm, this is supposed to be a safe space. Comments I deem negative will be deleted so that others feel comfortable just going around and say whatever.

1. Shipping

I completely understand people's worries with Punkflower but guys, instead of worrying about non confirmed ages, can we worry about kicking out actually problematic people off the internet doing stuff to real life minors? Miles was 14 when I was 14. He is now 15 and I am 18, I still love Miles the same way, ans that doesn't compromise my morals.

A person's ship between characters doesn't say about their morals entirely. Of course, sometimes it's undeniably creepy, like characters clearly presented as parental figures being shipped with kids that were supposed to look up at them. That's weird, don't do that. Or, idk, thinking it's a good idea to jerk your dog off. (I saw documentaries, those who do too knkw what I am talking about)

Point is, pls don't harass people who don't mean actual harm. Hobie's uncomfirmed age range shouldn't cause as much hate as it does. I disagree with nsfw from time to time because it is weird, but I mostly see couple-y stuff with a few jokes, and honestly? I absolutely adore it. I encourage you to try it. I used to absolutely hatee on people who ship any characters slightly older with whatever character the topic is. I would literally try to gate keep the whole fanart community cause "She's a minor, STOP!" and honestly it was stupid asf. I'm not telling you to encourage it, just don't be mean about it. It feels stupid. If you don't disagree, and the post isn't causing harm, just don't engage.

2. Shameless racism/harassment

Recently I've faced people both in and out of omegle who seem particularly shameless, feeling safe around their little homes thinking ol' mean me won't mind. I am using this opportunity to expose a particular someone who seems very keen on being weird. I grew up around weird guys, and I often identify them easily, but for some reason I pushed the lil gut feeling away. If you have the same problem, pls listen to that feeling. It's there to avoid situations that might be upsetting.

Starting with Omegle, people seem very comfortable with racism (and search of minors to flash them). I receive jokes indicating they want me to be shot, find me ugly, make faces of disgust, call me a slave, etc etc. Not to mention I even found teenagers joking about beastiality being 'awesome'. Kids rlly need to get supervised, cause I am telling y'all, some were barely 14.

Now, I had an interesting interaction on instagram with a Miles Morales account. He came to me cause I was rping as Peter and invited me in his server on discord. I got the gut feeling from his habit of trying to flirt with Gwen profiles and spamming pictures of him in a suit. For some reason, some people have a pattern of spamming pictures when they want praise and always require attention from specific people, and I know this cause I've been harassed over this before. Days later, I was matching with my bff as an anime couple so I changed and he realized I'm born female. He asked me to be rio instead, without knowing my age, and went ahead and offered 'fun', and that 'I can't tell anyone'. What happened essentially is that I called him out, he said I was disrespecting him, I blocked him, so he made a new account to cuss me out and threaten to report me. I feel indifferent about it, but if you have anyone with similar behavior, save yourself the trouble and block them. (His discord is 'dmoney520' so avoid interacting w him pls)

3. Sexualizing a content creator

I don't mean Dream, or corpse husband, or whoever tf. I am talking about a poor 16(ish) year old called Eddie who makes content for the fact he sounds like Hobie brown, and he has people saying shit like "wanna get pregnant?" The guy just started worrying about whatever the place he lives in worries around this time.

It's honestly creepy how people will actively harass punkflower creators but then barely notice a full ass guy who is still deemed a minor regardless of what American law says getting weirdass comments from people they don't even know. Literally flabbergasted at this discovery. Not mad, just genuinely upset.

These people often forget that websites can track their activity and its hilarious to me, so whatever. This was my report on my feelings after a week of internet, and honestly? I wanna delete it. My punkflower AU happy ending is coming so if that's what you wanted, great!

[noriirori]

A friend recently asked, "what's the reason why you're in that fandom you're in right now?" And I couldn't help but dip my toes into answering this question because the reason why I'm in the tf2 fandom is a bit amusing to me.

Okay, July 28 of this year I was scrolling through Twitter, and then I happen to come across a comic page about two characters I had no idea about. This comic is titled HeavyMedic comic | Milk strawberry popsicles by Cabbage on Twitter. Now, keep in mind I had no clue who tf these characters were, I just saw that first page of the comic and I knew I had to stay and read this entire thing (even though I have no clue who tf they were). The hot weather, the bald character carrying a popsicle to give to a black haired character with glasses who the bald man called "Doktor", even though I wasn't in the tf2 fandom nor did I know who these characters were, I just knew one thing and it's that these guys are absolutely gay for each other.

Now at this time, I was pretty hooked. Multiple questions were coming into mind: who were these guys? Are these the creators original characters? Or are they from a video game? A movie maybe? I couldn't help myself, so I commented.

And ever since then, I was hooked! Since then, I've researched about this ship and eventually about the game itself. I've watched the official videos and read the comics, read fanfics, saved fan-art, etc.

I asked an online friend of mine (they were in many fandoms and I remembered them sending a picture of a group picture of a game that had those two guys.) if they knew which social media platform the tf2 fandom is very active on because I kinda wanna get involved in the community itself to talk and to engage in the fandom itself, and they said "oh, you should go to Tumblr since I've got mutuals that are active on there and they mainly post tf2 content." So, I downloaded Tumblr, made my account and since then, my feed is nothing but tf2 content (sometimes food and some other digital art stuff but tf2 definitely is my feed).

And after we shared the reasons why we're in the fandom we currently are in right now, they asked (the same friend who asked the first question) "and why did you chose to stay? Do you have favorite content creators in that fandom and why are they your favorite?"

First I'll answer, why I chose to stay. To keep it short and simple, it's because this fandom made me feel welcome and accepted. I love how nice the creators of artworks are, the writers, and the other people, who like me, also views fan-art in Tumblr. I love how there isn't really issues in the community (at least that I'm not aware of) and how respectful and funny people are. Obviously, we can't avoid that there is also a bad side to this fandom, and I was unfortunate enough to experience this type of treatment. I don't really want to go into detail but I guess *some* YouTubers are very homophobic which is so sad considering that most of them are genuinely fucking funny and their tf2 content absolutely bangs but as a non-binary pansexual myself, I can't let stuff like that slide. And thankfully, it is just some YouTubers, plus the content creators I watch in the tf2 fandom usually do SFMs instead of like having voice over shit and complain about the fandom enforcing LGBTQIA+ onto the characters. So yeah, I stayed because I'm in the good side of the community where people aren't fucking mean for no reason and respects and welcomes anyone despite whatever they are.

Also, the second question is a bit tricky because I LOVE ALL OF THE ARTISTS IN THE FANDOM each and every one of them are very much talented, amazing, beautiful, god-sent and wonderful. So, these are the artist that I mean:

Yeah, I love all of them, also I know what you'll say "but some of them don't do art, they just reblog!" So? I still consider them as artist bcuz they share ART. Okay, my absolutely favorite like my number one is Ncalabby. Most of my favorite fan-arts come from them. They are my favorite,well, because they are the reason that I'm in this fandom in the first place but other than that, I love their art. I love how they do their line art, the background and how each color on every art of theirs contrast with each other beautifully and makes the subject of their art shine because of the color scheme. And I love how they draw Medic, strong and massive unlike those fucking twink ahh Medic that people seem to make him as he is. It's *fine* if that's how your style is but making Medic small and skinny because he's a support and heals people isn't right. But that's just my opinion though.

Now, SFM creators, there are some that I absolutely love because well, they contribute heavily into the fandom. I'll be ranking them into 3rd to 1st.

3. DasMxD - I love their series' if tf2 was realistic, their SFMs are very smooth and natural.

2. Winglet - this guy, has the *smoothest* SFMs animations ever. I love how the mercenaries move in a way that's very much smooth and very natural, and I love their videos so much.

1. the-sound-of-progress -> I love Dusty, despsite their works being comics I don't think that SFM is made for comics yet somehow their SFMs are very pretty and natural, I love that the fact that they info dump on their blog because I am very interested in making my own SFMs in the upcoming future but I still don't have my own PC but their info dump about Blenders, SFMs, how to fix if the Medic model has that black thingy on his gloves, etc. Their works are wonderful, and them as a person as well ks just as fantastic as their work is. I did message them, told them how much I loved their work and they replied, and we're very humble with themselves which I love so much. Like I always wait for them to upload their comics because I find them so entraining and godsent stuff. Also, Dusty contributes heavily on the red Oktoberfest content, if you don't believe me, check out their page.

So yeah, this was what I answered to my friend and because I have nothing else to do, I will just share it here on my blog. Anyway, you, what's your reason why you're in the tf2 fandom? I'd like to know!

[tea-of-destiny]

uh oh i think i'm coming down with new oc disorder

so context. if clive goes to princeton in post-uf professor claire au, he needs new friends right. well, i had this idea about him feeling like he sticks out a bit on campus because he's

british

new to the usa

a 23yo freshman

and, oh yeah,

a journalism and politics double major

that's already credited as a co-author on multiple postgrad-level physics publications alongside one dr. claire layton

so he develops this tendency around his peers of downplaying his scientific intellect so that people are more receptive to him. sometimes he slips up in class and starts going on about, yknow, the quantum mechanics of time travel and such.

and then when he realizes everyone is staring at him, he hides his embarrassment by over-correcting with this exaggerated, stereotypey version of his britishness so that people just go back to swooning over his accent or whatever and forget he's intimately familiar with some of the most complex physics in the world.

the new oc in question, then, is an english lit major clive meets because they get seated next to each other in one of their writing classes. upon seeing one of these incidents where clive is like "subatomic particles--i mean, pip pip cheerio haha", the oc leans over and says like "hey why do you pretend you aren't that smart? i mean, i don't really understand the science talk, but i think the fact you just know that stuff like it's the alphabet is way cooler than you being from england. and i literally study english so like"

so this oc eventually becomes clive's closest american friend, and the first person at princeton that clive feels like he can properly let his guard down around. they study and hang out and get into ordinary college shenanigans together. although, clive adamantly does not involve this person in his detective work outside class, because there's cowboy gangs with guns or whatever tf will be the plot of nwos, and it's dangerous off campus and clive is still repressing processing his re-traumatization from the events of uf.

i'm still trying to pin down details like what kind of personality and appearance this new oc should have (particularly whether they should be more or less sarcastic than this version of clive adjsdlhflkjasd). also a name and definitive gender, but i'm kind of using the placeholder "will" in my mind.

um. i have also been debating whether i want this oc to have a romantic interest in clive. i do seem to have a propensity for "yearning from a respectful distance" oc x "cares a lot about them but also aspec as fuck and therefore not quite sure what they want" canon character ahahaha so maybe it would be fun to give princeton boy clive a little bf/gf/etc.

but yeah i feel like the character concept is going to stick in this au so maybe you'll hear more about "will" in the future

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

hii! i know you probably don’t want to here about this any longer, so I’ll try keep my message short it probably won’t be short..

fanfic writers should be able to create whatever kind of story they want to and should be able to post it without getting criticized or constantly being demanded for more or for smut or for ‘better’ or wtv tf.

you’re doing a great job and i love all of your works so much 💗 you truly are a god at writing any genre wether it be angst, fluff, or smut, it’s just all really amazing and you put a lot of thought and effort into it. i’ve only read the first 2 chapters of your recent series, and so far it is sooo good! it’s got me hooked and i can’t wait to read more when i have the time. i just love dad!spence 😭

you do not owe anyone anything, the right people will find you and support you and some of those people already have. it’s upsetting to see that those mean people have gotten to you..

don’t feel pressured to write smut for a certain fic if that’s not what your feeling just because it’s what other people want. it’s your story, you are allowed to take it in whatever direction you want. this fandom can be a little bit much (a lot bit much) at times..

if you never write for CM ever again, i totally understand, but just so y’know i think you are the literal best at characterizing all the characters so accurately, and that goes for every character you’ve wrote for not just CM ones.

sorry if this all just sounds like gibberish to you, it’s really late where i am, i forgot half of what i wanted to say, and i’m not the best with words 😭 anyways.. i hope you have a wonderful day/night Sunny! take care 🫶

thank you so much for this really kind message! it does mean a lot to me that if I receive a few negative messages, there is an outpouring of support and love - sometimes even if there is bad, the good people can outweigh it and really remind me why I started posting fics in the first place <3

I don't know if I will ever write for CM again - after I wrote Burn The Witch in 2021, I swore off writing for Criminal Minds completely, but then I watched the show again and fanfic ideas started crawling around inside my brain and I could help it. so it might be one of those things where I tell myself that I am never going to write for CM ever again, but then - I just can't help what kind of ideas my brain leads me too. But I do know for certain that I am going to need a very long, extended break from the fandom.

anyway - thank you so much for your kind words <3 messages like this really do mean a lot to me and I am thankful that you have taken the time to write me a message like this. I will look back on this when I'm feeling down

[040504210320092209191319]

ccan i be crazy for a second as a Detective Media Consumer

this post actually drives me nuts and normally i'd be like whatever everyone on the internet uses hyperbole but op clearly doesn't know much about the genre or archetype and the fact that a bunch of people who also don't know a lot about the genre agree with them is a littleee aggravating likeeeee

while they aren't wrong that plenty of fictional detectives are affiliated with law enforcement most of them are not

arguably the most influential ones aren't affiliated with law enforcement and hate cops, not just sherlock holmes

'all of them should be weirdos about-' they are. they are amateurs who enjoy mystery solving.

it's worth noting -- bc op brings up holmes in the tags of their og post -- that holmes popularizes the fictional detective archetype and that's why many of them are actually not police detectives

let's look at a few of them

philo vance: famously hated by the police, messes with investigations for fun

john dickson carr's gideon fell: another amateur detective, also annoys tf out of the police

edogawa rampo's akechi kogoro: literally a college student with a hobby (sound familiar?) who often runs circles around and deceives the police to get culprits off the hook when he feels like it

soji shimada's kiyoshi mitarai: an astrologer and college professor who gets brought cases by his crime enthusiast boyfriend, hates the police and nearly gets arrested by an officer for being disrespectful

seishi yokomizo's kosuke kindaichi: another amateur sleuth who's often underestimated by police investigators

yukito ayatsuji's kiyoshi shimada: a buddhist monk who solves mysteries part time because he's a mystery enthusiast

nisioisin's iichan: literal college student, solves mysteries because he happens to be there

nisioisin's jun aikawa: a freelancer in many fields who isn't solely a 'detective,' but isn't tied to any one organization or agency

etc etc etc

like yeah there are many detectives who are even p.i's that are often affiliated with or working with the police (L from death note, shawn spencer, etc) to act like they're typically written or portrayed like a cop character is so...??

when. a very clear, defining facet of the archetype is that they aren't part of the police force. and it's usually because these stories often feature officers as their culprits. like. .

not to mention that many of these characters are also meant to solve their crimes in unconventional ways, apart from the bureaucratic methods of a crime scene investigator - again they are Guys With a Hobby they're Mystery Enthusiasts and i'm sure a lot of authors find more freedom writing a private investigator than a cop because cops are supposed to wrap things up a certain way. they're supposed to be aiming for arrests. sometimes a detective doesn't want to do that. sometimes they want to solve the crime, lie to the police, and get the culprit off the hook bc they know the truth and don't think that the culprit deserves to get jailed and they dgaf if that's "right" or "wrong" in the eyes of the system

like i do think that a lot of more 'mainstream' media like criminal minds or CSI or whatever do portray a very different sort of detective but traditionally your fictional detective is a private investigator and their stories usually mandate that the police are incompetent, corrupt, etc in order to benefit the amateur sleuth who usually has poor rapport with them

it's definitely rarer to find detective media where zero cops are involved, i get it, but i think it's crazy to completely ignore that the entire genre originated from and is built off the backs of guys who cannot mind their own business to save their lives

[lovecolibri]

Being upset is so valid, I know it’s just a show but WHATEVER, you should allow yourself to feel what you feel! And you should also be allowed to have opinions and share them on your blog lmao I’ll be honest, I have several friends irl who watch 911 and ship buddie and we aallll cannot stand this show anymore lmao and it’s very liberating to be able to speak your mind. Sadly fandom, especially Tumblr for some reason, seems to be hellbent on making passive aggressive comments on people who don’t like what they like? I totally agree with you, if people enjoy it good for them, I’m not gonna make posts about how you have to be stupid to like it cause I don’t think that’s the case?? We are just looking for different things in a show and that’s okay! However I am a blocking machine cause I don’t see the point in reading takes that are so different from mine 😂 but it is very frustrating that any negative comment needs to be censured or you become the devil and also you are not capable of understanding long form of media and also you should stop watching the show hskshdk I have stopped watching the show and I still like to check what happened and I still like to complain, what can you do about it 😂 anyway I hope you’re okay, and take care of yourself! I remember when Roswell made me soooo mad and I had to deal with it alone and it sucked 😔 and you don’t have to publish this if you don’t want to, I don’t mean to create drama or anything, just wanted to be supportive 😂

Hey, thanks Nonnie! I think for a lot of people (I'm for sure one of them, yay neurodivergency), when you find something that's a source of serotonin, it can be QUITE the crash when it stops, and no matter how low your expectations, if you struggle with emotional regulation, the rollercoaster can be rough. Curating your experience is a MUST, and knowing how to manage when your brain tries to get the best of you is also a must! Sometimes that means commiserating with others who are also unhappy (NOT going into the inboxes of people who clearly disagree with you. stop that), sometimes it means logging off and doing something else, sometimes it means reading or writing fic or making content that makes you happy about the thing, sometimes it means not looking at ANYTHING about the thing. At the end of the day, we're all just trying to do what works for us.

As a survivor of RNM, I thought I could handle this but I think RNM got SO bad SO fast that it was always a lot of "here are 3 good things that people will make AMAZING fics/metas/content about and 85 things you will need to ignore or you will start seething with rage". Where as 911 was so consistent for so long that watching it struggle so hard (across the board, not just with Buddie, though that seems to get the brunt of it on the "nearly unwatchable" scale whereas other stuff is more "meh. they could have done this better") has been really rough because there is already so much love for the show built up and we have SEEN what it can be when it's at it's very best. And disliking certain arcs or story choices doesn't necessarily mean throwing the whole show out! There are LOTS of things I love about this show, and I'm not at the point for me where I'm ready to let the show go and I've never really understood the "don't like, don't watch" attitude every time anyone brings up a single complaint. It seems very "you HAVE to love every single thing and choice or you can't watch the show" when most people have things they both like and dislike about pretty much everything! It's okay to not like every single choice! (though if you legit find nothing to enjoy about a thing then it's maybe not for you and that's okay!)

Thanks for checking in! I have a lot of other stuff going on right now so it's very much like "why is this the thing we are focusing on, brain? Why are we allowing ourselves to feel like this? It's a show??" but hey! Sometimes our brains do whatever TF they want and we just gotta manage as best we can. At on the bright side, tumblr has filters! You can block tags! You can block content within posts! this will let you remove certain stuff from your experience without necessarily having to unfollow people. BUT! You can also unfollow people! You can block people! Make your experience what you want! And learn what works FOR YOU to manage your disappointment. Some people are "gotta get the anger out to let it go" people, and some are "gotta find the positive spin" people and some are both or neither. Find what works. Do that. Don't be dicks in people's inboxes, and don't drag the cast/crew into the drama on public sm platforms, they don't plan out the storylines.

[kiss-my-freckle]

I find TVD stans who started watching the show during the pandemic (as many did) or ones who were too young to watch the show when it came out generally have the worst takes and be really aggressive and holier than thou when it comes to stanning and opinions that I sometimes think to myself it's 2024, let the fandom die out. I find the Reddit side of the fandom really toxic where someone could get criticized for merely shipping Delena and saying if you ship Delena that means you're immature and care more about tropes than a functional relationship. Outside of the Delena fandom (and some Pickmeishas in the Delena fandom) say our fandom is the most toxic and that toxic couple=toxic fandom and if you try to refute that they use self defense as an example of toxicity which is pure gaslighting. They've gaslight Delena fans into shutting up to the point where Delena fans are quiet or they try to make an extra effort to appease them while they can say and do whatever tf the want without getting harassed. They can think Stefan and Klaus are innocent cupcakes but if a Damon stan think he's not as bad as many in the fandom makes him out to be they let go of all civility. I disagree that our fandom is more toxic. Stelena fans toxicity is unmatched. There was a Delena hate blog (many similar ones, but this was the most notorious one) that ran for years that would not only post hate regularly against the ship and the characters in it but attack the shippers that a Delena fan made a counter one against it that was very short lived and never attacked the shippers themselves and would politely interact with Stelena fans that would start shit on their blog. People use examples like "You have an opinion on a character/ship that I find objectionable against my values." as Delena fans being toxic. Klaroline fans have done many toxic things like threatening Leah Pipes and her family to the point she quit TO, bullied the TO producers multiple times (one of them even apologized because they couldn't take a joke. She even said she's made a similar joke about Delena in the past without getting heat), bullied Daniel and Phoebe for their comments on Klaus's ships, threatened Julie to the point she said their relationship almost didnt get serviced, etc. Stelena fans did things like send death threats to Kevin and Julie after Delena's 3x10 kiss, and made sexist/homophobic comments against Julie and Kevin, but Julie gets much more hate even though Kevin is just as if not more responsible for the things they find problematic about the show. They neglect that fact since even though Kevin wrote many of the things they consider most objectionable in the show all is well if Stelena was endgame instead.

I think every fandom has that one toxic person in the bunch. I find most toxicity in the Stelena fandom. Hate for Delena shippers, hate for Delena, hate for their characters, hate for the actors who play their characters. Generalizations, slut-shaming, temper tantrums, all caps screaming. Whatever makes them feel better about the show because half their ship died and the other half married Damon, Some of them ship Stelena even though they hate Elena, which makes no damn sense to me. That's not to say that I hate all Stelena shippers. I may hate the Stelena romance, but I love the Stelena friendship. More often than not, I come across Stelena shippers going out of their way to hate on Delena posts when they can easily stick to their corner of the fandom. Seeking out Delena shippers in public threads for the sake of spreading their toxicity when they could easily scroll past things they don't like.

I get along with most Delena shippers. I say "most" because I find it hard to lie about the Delena ship when I refuse to lie about Damon. So while it is rare, I could find myself in a Delena debate. I'm the type that sticks to the Delena corner of the fandom. That's not to say that I won't respond to Stelena fans when they seek me out, when they refuse to scroll past my comment because they don't like what I have to say on public threads. But they should know that I'm not someone they can bully via keyboard. I'm older than the average fan, have a great deal of life experience, and I'm a very open minded person. I don't think in boxes because I love my mind far too much for that. I'm not old, but I feel old because I've experienced a great deal in my life. I don't have a problem understanding or relating to certain things, and I'm very outspoken about what I think and feel. Honestly, I'm a loudmouthed bitch that doesn't give a shit. When I argue with fans, I'm less about insulting and more about offering in-show evidence. However, I will insult if I see reason to.

I'm not self righteous. My beliefs are so open that it's hard for me to hate. When I do hate, that says more about what I hate. I value challenges and confrontations because people should never stop learning and growing. There are some things I hate about the show. Things I feel they could've done differently or better. But it's a great piece of work overall. I won't attack an actor or a writer. That's not to say that I won't insult an actor or a writer, but it won't be over a ship. My insults will come off more like constructive criticism relating to what I feel they could've done differently or better. I will insult anyone who believes the show should've had a Stelena endgame because I consider them one of the worst written romances in tv. I can pretty much guarantee that a lot of their fans continued watching past the pilot episode because they introduced Damon at the end. He's the only reason I did. Stelena is the kind of ship that I never would've liked no matter my age, that's how horribly written they are.

I'm not someone fans want to debate certain topics with. When fans debate me about age issues, they have no idea that my ex is old enough to be my father. Fact is, I've always dated older men. At 17, I'd have no problem dating a 24/25 year old man, and it would've been consensual. That's not to say that my parents would've liked it, but at 17, my parents had no say in anything I did.

I'm the type of fan shippers hate and debate while hiding anon, and I have like 50 anons that I still haven't answered. Whether I respond depends on my current mood. I always take requests for my analysis, gifs, or simply my opinion on something. Fans should know what they're hitting when they come to my page because they may not like my response to it. I'll always be a loudmouthed bitch that doesn't give a shit. I say what i say without regard, and I'm like this in every tv show fandom. Delena is my ship and Damon is my character. Fans should take that as a warning lol

[starsarefire824]

Heeey moot! Just woke up! Even though I'm late, I just wanted to say that you deserve to write whatever tf you want and I'm sorry some peeps were harassing you about The Pact. I don't think folks know how hard it is to not only write, but then to post it for others to see. So, for them to criticize you when it's just a fun fic that they can ignore or filter out (tags on ao3 are meant to be used geez) its wild to me. You're doing something very unique with the characters and including a lot of different subgroups of the queer community splendidly while keeping them flawed like real teens - all in 1 fic. As a demi ace myself, I was so happy to see you incorporate that in your fic respectively and a lot of my queer Sex Ed came from detailed, researched fics bc even though my parents and school system talked to me about sex, there was nothing for the queer kids, let alone ace kids to get guidance on. So, for fic readers/writers like me, using fics to explore sexuality was a godsend.

Can't help but also think it's the biphobia kicking in again, specifically for characters like Mike. No one has a problem hc Max as bi even though it seems like lumax is clearly endgame over elmax or elumax, but when it comes to Mike being bi it's like the world is ending despite it clearly being byler endgame. I personally ship all hcs of Mike's sexuality cuz only Robin and Will have been confirmed queer. Everyone else in ST to me is undisclosed until stated straight or queer. But again that's me.

Also love your poly rep cuz my sib is poly and so were some of my grandma's cousins from 1950s-now. So, again, all or most sexualities explored in fics is a must, regardless if you ship it. I've always been a polypartycule shipper and enjoy how you include all party members and mention Duzie sometimes cuz too many times I found fics/hcs excluding the fact Dustin has a stable relationship with Suzie in favor of just highlighting byler and elumax as the romantic ones of the party.

Sorry for the rant but I had to let it out. I hated scrolling through my feed and seeing that post you made of folks getting heated over fiction like you're gonna convince the Duffers to change the whole script. Anyways I hope my support is felt. This is still me typing in a sleep daze and yeah. I'll continue reading your work cuz I enjoy good writers first and foremost and omg lol you made it having some harrassers cuz the greatest books were on the banned book list. Not saying you deserve the irrational hate, but that's how I'm framing it - this is giving "banned book energy" just cuz The Pact is exploring romantic madwheeler when no one cares about byclair or henderhop or henclair (despite folks labeling El as a lesbian). Anyways, you do you moot be blessed out here

Hello deer moot!!!! <33

Thanks so much for the positive vibes!!! I truly appreciate it. I guess I was just feeling a little let down that a select few people made it so far into a fic and then were angry about the way things were going and/or felt the need for me to tell them the ending. At first it didn't bother me, but after answering the same questions 1,000 times and trying to sort of reassure everyone it got to a point of being exhausting! I want to talk about the fic, but I don't really want to have to defend my writing/story/ship choices every chapter. It's kind of exhausting and was bringing me down a little bit. But anyway, enough about that.

I am SO GLAD that you are like...really vibing with some of the choices in that story? Especially with your unique pov being demi ace and having poly family. I think that fanfiction can be a very important tool for a lot of teen when it comes to exploring sex, especially if it's not a cis het-normative type or even just....dealing with sex from a young person's pov and all of the obstacles that everyone faces in that regard. Also, I think it can just open up a conversation or make a person think about things that maybe they might not of before etc etc. Or! They can just enjoy those scenes for the writing/good time. I'm here for all of it.

I'm not sure if it's a biphobia thing? It honestly hadn't occurred to me, but you may possibly be right. I know a lot of people headcanon Mike as gay, which I fully support. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case. I think if Byler happens in canon, he'll be unlabeled. BUT I do like to write Mike as bi, I personally think that there were feelings for El at some point. I personally headcanon him as a bi-romantic, and sexually leaning towards men. But that's just me....

But anyway, as that pertains to madwheeler, I also really enjoy the bi for bi Max and Mike dynamic, specifically because it's fun to write, and secondly it's another thing to add to their already similar personalities. And yea. I agree... unless a character's sexuality is specifically stated like El and Will's, there is room for exploration for most characters and that's what fanfic and art is for.

I do think there is this strange thought process regarding bi characters, that if they have a relationship with a person of the opposite sex it's like they're not "queer enough" for other people. Like it's somehow lesser than if Mike has a relationship with a woman, even though he already, in canon, is well, with a woman. And that people tend to forget that people are still bi, still queer, even if they are in the most outwardly straight presenting relationship, cause let's face it....you can't really help who you're attracted to and who you fall in love with. it just is.

And when it comes to the madwheeler in this fic, I am fully aware it is one of the least popular ships out there, but again, that is one of the reasons I wanted to explore it. And a a bi, poly person my self it was really interesting putting these characters in a dynamic where they were both involved with people of differing genders and orientations. It gives you a lot to work with when it comes to having things to write about! シ

And as you said, it also allows for some messy, realistic teenage angst! Which I am always a fan of! ;)

Anyway, thank you for the rant. I appreciate it so much, and am honestly still blown away by the positive responses to this story. Even if it's not everyone's cup of tea!