#i just picked it up again after like......2 years

[lost-in-fandoms]

The first part of this has been spinning in my brain since last week but then it ran away from me and got long (3.6k) so it's on ao3 too.

Daniel wakes up to three calls from Max on his phone. Each call is accompanied by a voice message in their mostly quiet texts thread and the timestamps read 2:04am, 3:16am and 4:41am.

For a moment, he considers not listening to them. He is not sure his heart can take it: Max happy and celebrating his championship while he was alone, asleep in his bed, Los Angeles traffic the background noise that should have been Vegas fireworks instead.

But it's Max, and he never can keep Max out of his life, has never really wanted to, so he presses play.

Hello Daniel, the first message starts. Daniel can hear the noises of the garage almost overwhelming Max's voice, and it sends a pang of hurt through the still bleeding holes in his heart. You might be asleep, I don't remember what time it is where you are, but I wanted to say...I am...it does not matter.

There's a pause, the kind of pause in which Daniel can picture Max frowning, trying to figure out the sentence in his head, mouth left slightly open.

You are in LA, yes? I am in Vegas, of course, and flying out soon, but maybe we can...I'd like to see you. If you're free.

Daniel's heart lurches again, phone pressed against his ear almost slipping out of his grasp. There's something unreal about it. Max, sitting in a corner of the garage, fresh out of his fourth championship win, probably still smelling of champagne, asking to see him.

Daniel is fiercely glad he didn't pick up. He wouldn't have known what to say.

I think you are asleep. Call me when you wake up? Bye.

The first message ends, and the next one immediately starts. It's much quieter, Max's voice further away and accompanied by soft rustling sounds, as if he had left his phone on some kind of surface while he moves around the room.

Hello Daniel. Sorry, I know I said...and you're sleeping, so this does not make sense. I am maybe a bit drunk, but...

Max makes an annoyed sound, then his voice comes closer again, standing still this time.

I am going out, to celebrate, so I maybe will still be awake when you wake up. Will you call me, please? I know this is not, that you are trying to stay away, and I understand, but...please?

Another pause. Daniel can almost see him, standing in an hotel room, hair mussed by the quick change between the team kit and one of his usual plain t-shirts, fumbling his words trying to say what he wants to say without hurting Daniel. It's useless, Daniel aches anyway, but it's sweet that he tried.

He doesn't say goodbye this time, and Daniel startles when the next message plays, much louder in his ears, the booming sound of a party just barely softer than Max's voice, raised to make itself heard.

Hello Daniel, I am sorry, I know I asked twice already, I know I should not say this, but I won, and you're not here, and you should be here. I want to see you, Daniel. I'll be in LA tomorrow. Or today, I think, so if you want, you can call me. Or I will just go and it's okay. But you should be here. It's not right like this.

The voice message ends, leaving Daniel in stunned silence.

Max called three times just to say he wanted to see him.

He doesn't know how to feel. It's flattering, sure, to know that Max had just won his fourth title, was more or less on top of the world, and spent his night calling Daniel. It hurts too, to hear him saying you should be here, when they both know that Daniel would be there if he could. And it makes something else swirl in his stomach, something that has always been there when Max is involved, and only grew softer and steadier through the years.

He still has his phone pressed against his ear, even long after the messages have stopped playing, when it rings.

It makes him jump, grip fumbling, and he answers on instinct, without even checking caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Daniel."

Daniel blinks. He takes his phone away from his ear to check that yes, Max is calling him. At 9:31am.

"Daniel?"

Daniel considers hanging up. He doesn't.

"Hi, Max." It comes out softer than he intended, almost uncertain. He clears his throat, tries again. "How's the world champ doing?"

This time he overdoes it, voice forced and too loud, making him wince. Max makes a quiet sound on the other side, making Daniel think he winced too.

"I'm..okay. Drunk, maybe. A little. I saw you listening."

Straight to the point as always and saying the most insane things in the straightest voice tone.

I saw you listening. As if Max was sat there, looking at their chat, waiting for the ticks to go from grey to blue.

Maybe he had been.

"I, uhm, yeah I listened. And here we are, talking!" Daniel is glad they're calling and not facetiming, so he is free to hide his face in his empty hand, cringing. It's too early and he's too surprised for his brain to not be stupid, and these are the consequences.

Max chuckles anyway.

"We are. I," Max pauses, coughs slightly. Daniel hears him take a sip of something, wonders if it's water or more alcohol, even if Max doesn't really sound too drunk, words not even slurring. "I am on the plane, almost taking off."

I'll be in LA, Max had said. Daniel wasn't sure he had been serious, but he should have known. Max never says something he doesn't mean.

"I will be in LA, but only for today. I have to go to Europe, and then Qatar on Tuesday. Can you...are you free?"

"I am going hiking."

Daniel is glad his hand is already on his face, or he would have had to slap it there anyway. He is not going hiking, has no plans today really, but he doesn't know what is happening, and the idea of seeing Max is...overwhelming.

He feels stupid as soon as the words are out of his mouth, but he doesn't take them back.

"Okay," Max says slowly after a while. "Today?"

And because Daniel is apparently being extra stupid today, he nods, as if Max could see him.

"Yes, I...later today. Was just getting ready, you know? Feeling the fresh air, smelling the birds and the bees, all the good stuff!"

"The good stuff," Max echoes. Daniel maybe wants to die. "Okay."

"Yeah so, gotta run, Maxy! You have a good flight!"

He hangs up without giving Max a chance to reply, then he throws his phone down on the bed and flops back on the pillow, sighing out loud.

What a shitshow.

--

He only manages to get up after forty minutes of aggressive pep talk, telling himself that Max has done and said weirder and more awkward things in the past, and that it doesn't matter anyway.

Almost two hours later his doorbell rings.

Well, not his actual doorbell, the one from the gate, that alerts him there is a car there before whoever it is actually rings it. When he looks at the small screen, he sees Max getting out the passenger side of a car and head towards the button, frowning at it before pressing it.

The sound seems to echo slightly in Daniel's brain, and he's going to blame his ringing ears for the fact that he opens the gate, letting Max in.

He's still feeling a little out of it when he opens the front door, watching Max walk up the drive, a bag slung over his shoulders. He's wearing a cap, not Red Bull branded, a black t-shirt, not Alpha Tauri, and soft grey shorts.

He looks tired, as if he hasn't slept yet, but he smiles at Daniel with all his teeth.

Daniel just blinks back.

"I didn't know if you would be home, or on your hike, but I am glad you waited!" It's the first thing Max says when he comes close enough, like they do this all the time, like this isn't absurd.

He opens his arms, but doesn't reach for Daniel. As if Daniel would deny him this.

Max smells like sweat, alcohol, and airplane air conditioning. Daniel lets himself bury his face in his shoulder for exactly three seconds before pulling away.

"I didn't think you would come."

Max frowns, shifting his bag to his other shoulder. From this close, Daniel can see how his eyes are a bit bloodshot, his lips a little too red.

He tries not to look at his lips. Or his eyes.

"Of course, I said I would. You said we were going on a hike."

Daniel is pretty sure he didn't say that, but four time world champion Max Verstappen is on his doorstep, looking like he came straight from his own party to hike with Daniel, so fuck it, might as well.

"Right. Yeah, let me just..." Daniel moves aside, letting Max in.

He looks at him from the corner of his eyes as he hunts for his phone and wallet, his backpack, fresh water bottles. He watches as Max drops his bag, looking around, but doesn't move away from the hallway, seemingly happy to just wait for Daniel.

Daniel considers pinching himself, to make sure he's awake. Or slamming his head against the wall, to make sure he isn't.

"Okay, all ready to go!" he tells Max instead, too cheerfully and loud again. Max doesn't wince this time, he just smiles, like Daniel being a fucking idiot is endearing to him.

"You are coming in that?" he asks, nodding towards Daniel's clothes. Which, fair, he's still in his sleep clothes, bright pink shorts and a t-shirt, but also, rude.

"Do you have something against them, Maxy?"

"Of course not, you look very lovely, Daniel."

Disarming, as always.

Daniel has not showered and is in his sleep clothes, and Max calls him lovely in his most sincere voice.

Daniel reconsiders the slamming his head against the wall thing, but ends up just taking his keys and ushering Max out without replying.

He drives.

Both because he is the one who in theory knows where they're going to hike and because he's not fully sure Max is not still a little bit drunk. And because when they're together, Daniel always drives. Even if it's been a long while since they've been in the same car.

The ride is mostly quiet. Daniel turns on the radio, doesn't even connect his phone to it just letting a random station play, and neither of them talks.

Max has closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the headrest, and Daniel sneaks glances at him, still trying to understand what the fuck is happening.

He doesn't even remember what his original plans for the day were, but he's sure they didn't involve going on a hike when the sun is already too high with Max Verstappen. Who flew over from Vegas, after winning his championship, to go hiking with him.

Daniel thought his life was supposed to become more normal after leaving f1.

By the time he parks at the bottom of a trail that he has already done a few times, it's past two pm, the air is warm and dry, and Max blinks his eyes open with a yawn, looking, if possible, more tired than he was before his little nap.

"We don't have to go," Daniel blurts out, looking at the purple bags under Max's eyes. "We can turn around, I can drive you back to the airport."

Instead of being a sensible person and agreeing, Max frowns at him, his expression closing off.

"If you want," is all he says, and shit of all the stupid things Daniel has said today, he seems to have managed to hurt him with the only rational one.

"No, I...you just look tired," he tries to explain himself. Doesn't even know why he's explaining himself, when none of this makes any sense.

"I am fine," Max replies, some of the ice in his voice disappearing. "Can we go?"

Daniel, again, can only helplessly nod.

It's too warm outside. Daniel had only done this trail earlier in the morning, or on a cooler day, or maybe this whole situation is making him feel it more, but he's sweating as soon as they step outside the car.

Max abandons his bag in the passenger seat, only taking his phone with him, while Daniel swings his backpack on his shoulders, cringing at how it's already making his tshirt stick to him.

He wonders how Max is feeling, after the cold night in Vegas. Max doesn't complain.

They walk quietly for the first five minutes, and Daniel almost misses the car radio, but then Max takes a deep breath and starts talking. Rambling, really.

He starts by mentioning the Vegas weather, as if he was reading Daniel's mind, then switching to a detailed account of the party Martin had thrown for him.

Daniel just listens.

He hums from time to time, to show he is still paying attention, laughs a couple of times when it comes to it, but he doesn't contribute to the conversation. He puts one foot in front of the other and feels the sunshine on his skin, the noises of nature and city combined around them. All the good shit.

When he pulls off his t-shirt, Max laughs at him.

"You only wanted to come out here and show off," he says. His cheeks are red, but Daniel doesn't know if it's him, the warmth, or the sunscreen they both forgot.

"Just for you baby," Daniel replies, winking, mindless, and he's sure Max's cheeks growing redder is just a trick of the light.

Max stumbles. Several times. Every time he catches himself with a laugh, making a joke about needing wheels instead of feet. Daniel resorts to walk a little closer. Just in case.

They don't come across many people, but when they do they stay quiet, hoping nobody recognises them, hoping nobody asks for pictures. Max and a shirtless Daniel, alone on a trail. Daniel wonders what it would do to the internet.

By the time they reach the highest point of the hike they're both red and sweating, and Max is looking a little unsteady on his feet, making Daniel curse himself for taking him out here, after he raced and partied and didn't sleep.

They sit down in the still too warm shadow of a spindly tree, and Daniel hands Max one of the bottles of water, watching him drink it greedily. His nose is already starting to burn.

"What are you doing here, Max?"

The question comes out almost without his consent, but Max doesn't startle. He finishes drinking, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and pressing the half empty bottle against his neck, looking at Daniel with that unwavering stare of his.

"Hiking," he deadpans. "What are you doing here?"

And isn't that the question of the year.

"Hiking," Daniel answers back.

Max's mouth ticks up, amused as usual by anything Daniel says, but then he goes back to being serious. Daniel looks away, unable to handle his staring.

"I am here because I wanted to see you. Always, I want to see you."

Daniel closes his eyes, leaning back on his hands.

"God, Max. Fuck."

His brain feels like it's cooking, but it's more from Max's simple confession than from the heat.

"I keep...I text you, and I call you, and you are always busy."

It's true, but Daniel wishes Max wasn't saying it. He wishes they could keep ignoring everything between them that Max seems to be set on unearthing today. If this is what four championships do to a man, Daniel doesn't want them.

That's a lie.

Daniel wants them. Daniel would want even one. Daniel wants this. Daniel wants Max.

"We should keep going," is what comes out of his mouth.

He doesn't move, and Max doesn't either.

Max's sweaty hand lands on his arm, gripping for just a moment, then moves away. Daniel doesn't open his eyes. His neck is starting to hurt a little from his position, and he wonders if it would have if he had kept up his neck training. If he had been still in a car.

"You can't just...I am not letting you run away anymore."

Max's voice is harsh and Daniel snaps his head up, glaring.

"Running away? They fucking kicked me out, mate!" He grits his teeth, trying not to raise his voice. The ground is hard and uncomfortable underneath him. He wishes he had never picked up the phone.

Max glares right back, swiping his hand through the air, dispersing Daniel's words.

"I do not mean that. That was wrong, and stupid, and we can talk about it if you want, but I am talking about this," Max says, gesturing between them, as if the space between them was a solid thing, something tangible and theirs.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Daniel bites out. Max glares harder. He's always been a good glarer.

"Don't be dumb. I'm tired of you doing this, telling me it is nothing!"

A flash through Daniel's brain. Max, young and awkward, pushing him against the wall of a nameless club in a far away country, trying to kiss him. Daniel telling him you're just drunk, we'll talk tomorrow. Daniel refusing to ever talk about it again.

Suddenly, the anger seems to seep out of him, leaving him too warm and tired. He wipes some sweat off his forehead with his hand, feeling the grit of dirt mixing with it.

"What do you want, Max? For me to apologize?" he asks with a sigh, looking away again.

Two fingers on his chin guide him to look back, and he finds Max a little too close, eyes blue blue blue and cheeks red red red.

"You don't have to apologize," he says gently. "I want you to say that it is not in my head. I want you to say that you want me."

Daniel feels dizzy, isn't sure he's breathing.

"Why?" he chokes out. Max's fingers are still on his face. For a wild second, Daniel wants to lick them.

"Because I want you."

Simply deadly. Like Max always is.

Daniel's heart is rabbiting in his chest, brain buzzing. This doesn't feel real. Nothing about this feels real.

Max should be in Vegas, or on his way to Europe, high off his championship, not here, sitting in the dirt, telling Daniel he wants him. He shouldn't still want him. Not after everything.

"I fought very hard for one thing I wanted this year," Max says, when it becomes clear Daniel is not going to say anything, "and I thought it would be stupid to not fight for the other thing I wanted too."

"God, Max." It comes out in a rasp, and Daniel really hopes he's not going to cry, because that would be way too embarrassing, even for him.

Max smiles at him, small and soft and lovely. The one he saves for the little moments and the people he loves. The one he's been giving Daniel since forever.

"I would like you to say, if you want me, Daniel, because I would like to kiss you."

Maybe Daniel is going to pass out. But before he does...

"I do, God, fuck, Max."

Max laughs before kissing him, short and happy. He doesn't crash their lips together, but he cradles Daniel's cheek in his sweaty hand and gently guides him forward, soft and lovely and kind.

It's not fireworks. It's not an explosion of colors behind Daniel's closed eyelids. It's warm honey seeping through his ribs. It's a sigh of finally. It's a homecoming.

It lasts forever and nothing at all, and when Max pulls back, Daniel almost falls forward trying to chase him, making Max smile.

Daniel's brain doesn't have one single coherent thought left in it.

"We should finish the hike, this was a terrible idea," he says instead of please kiss me again. Which is maybe less pathetic, but also means Max laughs instead of kissing him, which is the worse outcome.

"It was your idea," Max reminds him, grabbing his bottle from the ground and pushing to his feet, before offering him a hand to do the same.

Daniel feels light enough he could probably float down the hill, no effort at all. He bumps his naked shoulder against Max's, immediately cringing at feeling of his sweat soaked t-shirt against his skin.

"I never claimed I was smart."

"Yes," Max agrees, grabbing him to stop him from moving further away, pulling him closer to kiss him again.

"You stink," he says when he lets Daniel breathe again, lips still brushing together.

Daniel snaps back, snorting a startled laugh.

"I stink?? Have you smelled yourself lately?"

Max echoes his laugh, making a show of smelling his own armpit and cringing away.

"You like it," he says, cheeky. Daniel firmly ignores the sharp pang of want in his gut and rolling his eyes instead.

"Come on stinky, let's get you to a shower."

Max's smile deepens, and he's the one to bump their shoulders together as they start back on the trail.

"You'll join me, yes?"

Daniel stumbles, the images the words Max and shower and join me are conjuring in his brain making him lose the grip on his limbs for a moment.

They should probably talk more about this. Figure things out. Set boundaries and shit. But all he cares about at the moment is finishing this fucking hike and take Max home. For anything else, they'll have time.

[cheerleaderman]

Twst- The Shooting star over the Castle

Yuya doesn’t have a consistent personality throughout the main story as they are constantly going through changes. This is how they protected themselves through their life doing it subconsciously despite not having their memories.Some might say they’re a bit of an actress.

Yuya’s true personality does shine through at times mainly when they actually get to relax. They can be childish, petty and pretty chaotic sometimes letting the intrusive thoughts win but still an overall friendly person. Even then Yuya isn’t one to tell others how they’re truly feeling especially if they’re hurting. Even with all those things Yuya does know how to take charge and deal with serious situations. They’re definitely not the goody two shoes some perceive them as more of a trouble maker everyone will later learn.

💫Basic info💫

Age: 18

Pronouns: Doesn’t really care but others mainly refer to them as She/They

Height: 172cm

Birthday: August 8

Voice claim: JP - Ibuki Mioda(Danganronpa) ENG- Veronica (Heathers the musical OG)

Hometown: Earth, USA

Family: Lilian (mother-Deceased), Yolonda and Desom (cousins) Yuya doesn’t concern them Family: Aunt and Uncle, Damien (cousin) , has a pretty big family in general

Class: 1-A

Dominant hand: Left

Nickname: Henchmen- Grim | Shrimpy/ Starfish- Floyd, Trickster-Rook | Herbivore/Omnivore- Leona | Child of Man - Malleus | Yu-Yu - Kalim, Cater, Lilia | Yu- First Years + Jamil | Troublemaker/Star - Idia | Star - Family | The Perfect- NRC

Favorite food: Chili oil Noodles, candied lemons , Strawberry lemonade

Like/hobbies: Cooking,Rhythm games, Horror movie/ Games, collecting bags , Photography, Crocheting and Knitting

Dislike: Forgetting things , Bland food , Green tea, overly strong smells, feeling sweaty, smell of alcohol, fuzzy socks , ants

Best subject: Alchemy

Talent: lock picking, cooking,Just having things , playing the Wind Instruments mainly the Flute

Club: Hops between clubs but mainly at the Board game or Basketball club

💫Extra Info💫

Yuya has thoughts of what were they like before Twst, this effects their relationships by them wondering if the way they are now is truly the real them. Would everyone still like me if I get my memories back and become myself again? Even with these thoughts Yuya still wants their memories back good or bad.

Yuya uses how others perceive them as to their advantage using this to navigate how to deal with situations.

Yuya doesn’t get their cardigan until Book 2 while everyone was visiting Trey.

The have a fight response most notable when they fought Riddle during orientation. Others thought it was some kind of adrenaline but Yuya does know how to fight and fight dirty.

Yuya was honestly in deep denial about being in Twst. Really much thought that they were in a dream up until the end of Book 2 from getting a scar from Leona’s overblot. This really woke them up to their new reality as before they thought “since I don’t belong here sure I’ll wake up to the place I truly belong.” [Also adding Yuya’s eyes technically wouldn’t be shown until this moment to show them waking up to reality]

Yuya develops a bit of an obsession for photography as the photos represents their memories. They hold these photos dearly scarred to forget again. Some say that Yuya’s photography can be scary being it can be used as blackmail

Yuya did have a hobby of journaling/ scrapbooking given the journal that they had in their bag when arriving to Twst but that was taken over by photography

The mirror called Yuya a shattered soul which not even Crowley understands why. This is due to their soul being shattered when being transported to Twst. Their soul will forever remain shattered

After every Overblot Yuya’s eyes will get darker they don’t really notice until after book 2. They will also get the full movie context. With movies not involved with the Overblots Yuya will get dreams in similar fashion and get the full movie after 3 dreams

Some of Yuya’s more noticeable habits has to be their strange ability to have everything in their pockets. No one knows where or how they even got it from. Another has to be staring only a few close to them can tell if Yuya likes or dislikes something by the way they stare.

Yuya is able to form bonds with many different beasts, creatures etc especially ghosts. Ghost often mistake Yuya as one of their own. Yuya thought being called a “beast tamer” was far fetched but can’t deny that they have a particular liking to them

Yuya grows insecure about the scar they gain after overblots even has troubles looking in the mirror.

It did take them awhile to warm up to others also given that in the beginning they were pretty quite. Grim, Ace and Deuce were the ones Yuya warmed up to the quickest.

Yuya does have conflicting feeling about being the Perfect but is scared of how others would treat them if they stopped.

Gave up on the thought of ever getting to go home during book 4 and focusing on how to get their memories.

Yuya does overblot which is triggered by them getting their memories back from fully dying in their original world.

Yuya never really asks for help for their self specifically but in a way that would help someone else. For example Grim asking them to call Crowley + text Ace and Deuce in book 4.

Yuya doesn’t really like the memory of orientation so doesn’t really attend things like assembly unless it something important like getting an Award. In the beginning they would get scolded but dropped it later on.

Yuya does sleep walk it’s a combination of stress/ Trauma and their shattered soul. When they sleep walk others will say they look like a wandering spirit.

Book 3 is when Yuya’s most noticeable changes happen waking up to their reality and changing the way they behave also every happening with Azul. After 3 Overblots they believe that this will be a reoccurring thing (they were right not to their shock)

Yuya is actually good at driving even when they have to be a bit reckless

💫Backstory💫

[ implied abuse]

Yuya lived with her mom Lilian pretty happily. One day Lilian had to go on a work trip promising to take them to the aquarium when she gets back but that day never came.

At the age of 5 Yuya lost their mother and was sent to live with their Aunt and her family. At first everyone was pretty sympathetic to Yuya but the true colors showed after so time. The Adults in their life valued appearances over everything. A stubborn child didn’t fit into their picture perfect ideal. So Yuya had to learn how to fit themself into the role their Aunt wanted them to. Sometimes using their mom against them other times different punishment.

This made Yuya close off their emotions and change their personality to whatever is deems fit. Throughout the following years Yuya would see themselves as “A shiny trophy for them to show off”.Put others before yourself, Help others with whatever they need. Earning them being seen as the “Star” of the community. But the one thing Yuya remember the most is Don’t expect anything in return that’s selfish.

“And selfishness gets you punished”

Enduring for years Yuya at 13 started to grow resentful. It started with small things misplacing items mainly targeted at Aunt, Uncle and Damien. This gradually grew into destroying things causing fights in the house. Things came to a head during a family reunion Yuya now 15 had a fight with Damien which lead to them falling down the stairs.

This event turned the family upside down reveling things happening behind closed doors. The main factors were Desmon waiting to expose the family and doctors seeing other injuries on Yuya. This lead to Community shunning most of the family. Other members would claim to not have known anything trying to get in Yuya’s good graces.

Yuya and Yolonda were sent to live with their grandparents who had no involvement distancing themselves from the family long ago. They have this belief that leaving that house would solve the situation and make them happy but nothing. Given everything that happened Yuya was honestly just tired and didn’t really trust their grandparents. They ultimately chose just to go on with life and leave things behind once they go to college.

💫Entering TWST/ NRC💫

The day before Yuya was supposed to be heading off to culinary school they wanted to visit their mom’s grave one last time. Unfortunately after saying their goodbyes they ran into Damien.

Trying to ignore the nonsense he was spewing they walked away. This was supposedly the wrong move as he grabbed Yuya still yelling. How Yuya ruined the family, how selfish they were and so on.

Scared and annoyed , Yuya started to fight their cousin off. This went on until they both heard the sound of horses running . Within only a few seconds Yuya saw the black carriage then everything went black.

The thing is only half of Yuya’s soul got transported to Twst that day. The other half survived currently in critical condition at the hospital but doctors are unsure if they’ll recover.

💫Gallery 💫

Divider

[waitingformysandman]

Remember Me

Part 3

Summary: After years of being separated from your love, James (Bucky) Buchanan Barnes, you finally find him again. But he’s different. Too different. Not only does he forget himself but you and Steve as well. Can he get his memories back?

‼️Trigger Warnings will be noted if needed at the beginning of chapter.‼️

Triggers: reader not taking care of themselves, starving, self deprication, Steve Rodgers being an ass

Use of Y/N in this chapter. Sorry not sorry.

A/N: for anyone actually keeping up with this I’m so sorry this chapter took so long😂

“Of course you can stay with me Sargent. I’ve been waiting for you.”

He smiled that beautiful smile. The one you thought you’d never see again but were blessed to see so many times in the past hour.

“Don’t smile at me like that.” You blushed.

“Like what?” He asked. Genuinely confused as it was how he smiled at everything that made him genuinely happy.

“Like that. That smile you always do that gets us into trouble. The one you know would get us into trouble here. You know the one.”

There wasn’t a specific smile. It was just him. He was so unabashedly happy to be back in your presence no matter how little he remembered it hadn’t even occurred to him that he probably looked a little deranged.

He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled. Literally.

He frowned.

You furrowed your brow from the sudden change of Bucky’s emotions.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

He whispered so quietly you almost didn’t catch it. It didn’t help that he was looking at the ground.

“I don’t remember the last time I smiled.”

He looked up at you again, eyes watering.

You tentatively reached around his waist with one arm before reaching around with the other. Just in case.

He stood rigidly. His arms to his sides and breathing heavily. You pressed your whole body to him hoping your closeness would ease his tension like it used to. But it didn’t. Instead, it made everything worse.

With his one arm he wrenched you away from himself and his once gorgeous blue eyes were now steel. He wasn’t there anymore. He almost looked like him. The one that haunted your dreams now. The Winter Soldier. But he wasn’t. The Soldier wasn’t quite there. But he was there enough.

“Leave.”

Your head snapped up. Unsure you heard him correctly you asked him to repeat himself.

“I said leave. Stop waiting for someone who isn’t coming back.”

You gaped at him. Everything was ok. He was fine a minute ago. You were fixing your relationship, getting to know each other again. It was wonderful. But now.

You weren’t sure if you were going to be able to have a relationship if it was going to be like this every time you got close to him. It wouldn’t work. In no reality would that work.

“B-Bucky?” you stuttered

“I SAID GET OUT!”

He shoved you away and took hold of your wrist leading you out of the hut and quite literally threw you out.

You landed on your hands and knees with tears in your eyes.

Steve didn’t see much but he saw you get thrown out. He ran as fast as he could to get to you.

“Hey. What happened? You alright?”

You slowly got to your knees and looked at your hands. You started picking out the gravel that had embedded itself in your palms.

You slowly and calmly looked Steve directly in the eyes.

“He’s gone Steve. There isn’t anything we can do.”

Steve flinched.

“What are you talking about ‘He’s gone’? What’s going on? Y/N what happened in there!”

You got up off your knees and found Shuri near the edge of the lake.

“Thank you for all your help Shuri. I know you’ve done everything you can. But I think it’s too late. He’s gone.”

And that’s when you broke down. You couldn’t fight the tears.

You found Steve beside you and buried yourself in his chest. If Bucky wouldn’t hold you at least you knew your friend would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 Weeks Later

Steve was never good at speaking to women. Saying hello in and of itself was a general hardship for him.

Except for you. Since Bucky had found you all those years ago you and Steve had become good friends. Steve was grateful for that.

Steve couldn’t talk to women. But he could talk to you. You weren’t just a woman. You were his best friend and his other best friend’s…girlfriend? Fiancé?

Whatever you were to Bucky he wasn’t quite sure. But you were important enough that he had bought you a ring and you had worn it. Even after thinking he had been dead for 70 years.

He wasn’t sure if Bucky was still there anymore. If anything that had happened in Wakanda was anything to go by. Steve would bring him back though. For you.

As he wandered the halls of the Avenger’s compound alone with his thoughts Steve decided to try to visit you again. Even though you probably wouldn’t see him.

You hadn’t spoken to anyone. He hadn’t seen you leave your room or even order anything to your room. He had asked FRIDAY if you had been at least eating but you had instructed FRIDAY not to tell anyone and that “If it’s Blondie asking, tell him I’ll eat when I feel like it.”

He’d been getting that same message for months. He hoped you were still alive at this point.

Steve stopped at your door and took a breath before knocking.

Knock knock knock.

He waited a minute.

He was greeted with the deafening silence of the empty compound.

But he soon heard a rustling coming from the other side of the door. And then the sound of feet shuffling closer and closer to the door until it slowly creaked the tiniest bit open.

He was shocked. You looked awful.

“Hey Steve.”

That was it. 2 weeks of silence, not knowing if you were taking care of yourself, if you were dead and all he got was ‘Hey Steve’? Nope not ok.

“‘Hey Steve?’ That’s it? Really Y/N? That’s all I get? HEY FUCKING STEVE?!”

You flinched. You knew you deserved it. Hiding in your room for the past 2 weeks. He tried to help you. You just wanted to die.

“Yeah. Just hey Steve.”

You started to shut the door but he smashed his hand between the door and the jamb before you could close it all the way and he forced the door completely open.

You couldn’t wither away and lose a grotesque amount of weight like an average person as a super soldier. But you still managed to somehow look like it.

You motioned to the box by the couch in the living room.

“They sent me his things the day after we got back. Well, his backpack and the clothes on his back.”

Steve looked at you warily. It explained the slight look of insanity. You missed him. Too much.

You wished it was him in your room. Not a box of clothes and backpack of memories.

He needed the backpack. Wherever he was.

“You should go Steve.”

“What do you mean I should go? You need help! A therapist. Something!”

“You shouldn’t be here,” you whispered “it’s not proper.”

“THIS ISN’T THE 1940’s Y/N! BUCKY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE HERE FOR IT TO BE ‘PROPER’. AND GUESS WHAT? YOU WEREN’T EVEN MARRIED! HE HADN’T EVEN PROPOSED YET SO IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN PROPER ANYWAY!”

You knew he was right. You mentally rolled your eyes. He was always right.

“Ya know what? Fine. Sit here and wallow in your pain and his bloodied tattered clothes and books of faded memories. It’s not going to help bring him back!”

And with those last stinging words Steve left. Making sure to slam the door behind him like the dramatic ass he is.

[lily-onher-grave]

More wicked movie thoughts because I’m obsessed and insatiable

Kiamo Ko looks sick af and I can’t wait to see more of it in part two

Is that Elphaba and fiyero’s horse riding out? It’s not Fiyero because he’s walking with Dorothy so whoooo is it and will we find out more in part 2

Ariana Grandd-Butera’s sad. little. face.

I’m so serious it’s so fucking heartbreaking and she does such a good job. Like what do you MEAN she looks seconds away from crying after the flashback until the end of the song. What do you MEAN she sings “she died alone” directly to elphaba’s effigy all while looking like she’s about to break down (Glinda being able to hit operatic notes while holding back tears. Glinda being able to smile even when she’s losing everything and her entire life is falling apart)

((I’m not gonna make it through Ariana singing thank goodness. I have one year to live because I will be DECEASED by the end of her solo))

Elphaba loves their prank war so much

I said it before but Elphaba really is just so fond of Glinda so immediately and I’m soft about it. This girl has never been given this much attention! It doesn’t matter that it’s negative attention she is eating it up!!

We don’t talk enough about how Glinda loses everything she knows and loves in one day. Like she loses Elphaba yes, but also she’s losing Fiyero, she leaves shiz and everyone she knows behind, she’s left alone in a strange city with people who just condemned her best friend, does she ever even see her parents again?? I’m emotional about her brb I’m gonna go write fic

Shout out to the girl in front of me who dropped her phone and said “you’re a queen” when I picked it up for her, way to stick to a theme way to be on brand in the theater, we love women supporting women lmao

I went with fanily and one of them asked me “so where are the parts where you cried?” And my dad was like “let me guess. The dance scene and Defying gravity.” I mean yeah true but you don’t gotta read me to filth like that

Also we were talking about the dance scene and Glinda wiping away elphie’s tears and my dad was like “how long do you think it’s been since someone touched Elphaba with kindness” and if you ever wondered where my angst comes from it’s apparently genetic jfc

Sunset defying gravity still has me in a chokehold.

(So does Ariana’s last “I hope you’re happy” and Glinda being so vulnerable in front of morrible and the lights breaking and the emerald city going dark and AHHHHH)

[hyperobsessedd]

Loser!reader X Fuckboy!joost

a/n: I’m thinking about doing a different version of this with the same concept but different plot. lmk if you’d want that.

Also this is pt.1, I just got scatter brained towards the end, pt.2 will be out sometime this week.

cw: reader is a bit insecure, some colorful language

⟡⋆.˚❀⋆.˚⟡

Loser!reader who still kept in touch with some of their school friends, not because they wanted to build a genuine connection with the person but because, A. They didn’t want to seem rude, and B. Their biggest fear was being alone in the world. Although they would never actually tell anyone (kinda).

Loser!reader never really liked writing essays in school, writing could be fun but writing a 3 page essay about the 50 year history of ethnic studies in schools wasn’t exactly fun. All the thoughts they had running in their head was getting to be annoying so instead of staying up late at night thinking about past mistakes, they started writing down their thoughts in a journal. They would almost never go back and read the entries but having a place to write down their ideas, thoughts, and feelings was nice.

Loser!reader really only had one close friend in their school days who understood them and found their quirks charming and not weird. It had been years since they last spoke to that friend and that decision plagued their thoughts a lot. As a way to work towards gaining more self confidence they looked around on social media for that friend and hoped that they could reconnect. After a couple hours of searching they found the friend’s instagram page. At first they felt happy but as they scrolled through the page they started to feel worse, their friend had a picture perfect lifestyle; photos with many of their friends, a dog, and even a partner.

Loser!reader who let go of all the negative thoughts and just went for it by sending the now stranger a message.

Loser!reader stared at their phone screen, instantly regretting their decision. They immediately turned off their phone and started to write in the journal, just wanting to get their thoughts out of their head. After a few minutes of silence they checked their phone again to see a notification from instagram, it was your friend!

Loser!reader and their friend who started to chat and reminisce on old memories. The old banter between you two returned and for the first time in years they felt…happy? Your friend was also easy to talk to, she was also the one who would talk for you whenever you felt shy. She also tried taking you to every outing that she was invited to but you almost never accepted the invitation and if you did you were stuck in the corner of some random house nursing your drink while your friend was out there trying to include you (you didn’t really realize that until one night of deep thinking).

Loser!reader’s friend who invited them out, she told you that you didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to. You secretly felt elated at the idea of going out with your old friend but no one (except your journal) would ever know that.

Loser!reader who for some reason didn’t seem worried about the outing. You didn’t overthink at all for the first time in years and you were able to pick out an outfit without thinking about how you’d look.

Loser!reader felt a little strange at the party. Their were so many (all) unfamiliar faces and everyone in the house looked like they were judging you (everyone was focused on themselves). You made your way through the tight space, waddling behind your friend like a baby penguin who has never seen anything beyond the egg they hatched from.

Loser!reader who felt all the memories from high school come back, the feelings of self doubt in social situations, being overwhelmed by the amount of people in the room, and the crippling feeling of being judged by not only strangers but by their own friend. You excused yourself from the area, telling your friend that you had to use the restroom and that it would take a while.

Loser!reader who was back to their usual self, all alone on the balcony with upbeat music in the background. Being a literal outsider while everyone was enjoying themselves and having fun. Everything was starting to get overwhelming and you could feel the tears start to pool in your eyes, threatening to come out at any moment. But just as you were about to start sobbing, someone else came into the balcony.

Fuckboy!joost who was known for being a manwhore. He was fairly handsome (who are we kidding he is hot asf) and such a charmer. Most of his ‘relationships’ were just one night stands and his longer term relationships usually ended with his partner getting sick of him going to parties all the time and shamelessly flirting with other people. He was used to having whatever he wanted, cars, girls and guys, he would always find a way to get what he wanted even if that involved breaking someone else’s heart just to get to his end goal. As long as his desires were fulfilled then nothing else would matter.

Fuckboy!joost who had noticed you from the moment you entered, something about you pulled him in. It might have been your shy smile that made you look oh so innocent, your soft eyes with traces of hurt which would make you easier to get, hell maybe it was just your obvious signs of weakness but whatever it was he wanted to take advantage of it, no matter the cost.

[gibsongirlsundaymorning]

After all this time… (Night Two, Part One)

A/N: Part 2 is going to be uploaded in 2 parts- here’s the first! Hope you like it, please comment anything you want to see in the future!! 😊

Synopsis: You come home with your childhood best friends, Billy and Tommy during your break at college, and instead of going to your own house, you stay at theirs with them and their mother… who you’ve had a huge crush on since before you can remember. As the visit goes on, you find it more and more torturous with your forced proximity and how she only seems to get more beautiful as the years pass. (READ PART ONE TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS PICKS UP)

Warnings: More and more tension, seriously insane tension, pet names, milf!Wanda to the max.

Pairing: Mom!Wanda x Student!Reader (fem)

The next morning, you woke to the sound of Wanda’s voice at your door, but much different than the night before. “You awake, hon?” She called into your room. Eager to see the woman’s face and regain her approval after the way she left you last night, you sprung out of the bed and opened the door. Cold air hit you quickly, making you suddenly very aware of the skimpy pajamas you’d worn to bed, but the woman’s traveling gaze made your skin burn once again. “This is cute… must be cold though, huh?” You cross your arms over your chest at this in a mix of embarrassment and the flustered feeling her words and eyes brought to you.

“Oh, I usually don’t wear much to bed, I layer up a ton of blankets, sorry.” You trail off at the end of the sentence with a giggle and look down to your feet. A finger finds itself under your chin once again and forces you to make eye contact with Wanda, on of her eyebrows slightly lifted as she sucks her teeth with a slight tsk as she speaks to you once again. “You know I’m not upset, right?”

“For what I’m wearing? Well, I wasn’t sure, but I was hoping you wouldn’t find it inappropriate or anything- I was planning on changing before I left the room and everything!” She laughs at this, and you’re not sure whether it’s endearing or mocking. “No, honey, that’s not what I was talking about, but I’m certainly not upset about this cute little get up. But I was talking about last night. I know we split on a more… stern note from myself, but I wanted you to know I’m not upset. Just had to put you in your place a bit. I know you’re such a smart girl, but you won’t be having a smart mouth with me, alright?”

“Yes, Ms. Maximoff, and I’m so sorry, I really wasn’t thinking at all… To be honest, I also don’t really ever drink, so I think I was just a little bit off all night. I really am sorry, and I didn’t mean to snap at all.” She smiles brightly at your response. “So eager to please, aren’t you?” You can’t help but nod. “Well then, we’ll forget all about it, ok? But call me Wanda. And don’t make me tell you again.” She points at you with those last words, but you know she’s saying it in a lighthearted manner when her serious look fades into a big smile and she pulls you into a hug. Maybe you’d be able to get through these couple of days after all!

In fact, after you had breakfast with all 3 Maximoffs, Wanda announced that she was off to a hair appointment, leaving you alone with the boys to catch up for the day. Shortly after she left, Billy and Tommy filed into their car and pulled you in after them before speeding off to an arcade on the other side of town.

After a few hours of playing various games and being sucked into the hypnosis of a claw machine built to make the player fail, dropping the plush toys in the glass case at the very last second before you could reap the prize, you headed back towards their home, hitting many thrift stores and any random places that looked fun on the way back.

After pulling back into the driveway, Wanda’s car sitting in the adjacent spot reminds you very quickly of her presence after your short period of forgetfulness. When you three walked in the front door, your senses were once again overridden with the warm, floral presence of your friends’ mother, your cheeks graced nearly immediately by a bright blush as she looks you up and down as she greets you. “Hi, guys! How was it?” She turns to you specifically, “I see someone likes to shop, huh?”

You look down at the immense number of shopping bags in your hands, not realizing before how many had accumulated over your trip until now, also noticing the way the handles were digging into your hands as you drop a few by the hallway that leads to your and Wanda’s rooms. She drops her taunting tone and reaches out for your hands to see why you’re wincing in their direction. “You alright?”

“Oh, yeah, just the handles, I’m all good. I do really like to shop when I’m in town, you’re right about that much.” You laugh lightly.

“Well, if you three don’t have something planned for tomorrow, would you boys mind if I take Y/N up to the big mall in the center of town? I don’t want you two driving that far, and besides, I think your uncle wanted to take you out to lunch while you’re home.” The boys shrug and turn back to their bags of new (old) hats and comics. “Sure, whatever!”

She turns back to you with a cocked eyebrow. “You up for it?” You nod a bit too quickly. She laughs at your eagerness and nods in confirmation of the plans. “Alright, it’s a date then!” Her wording was criminally torturous and she had to know it. Desperate to change the topic, you nod to her hair, which was gathered in a towel atop her head. “I thought you were going out to get your hair done? Did they not shampoo you and all there?” She looks up and laughs as if she had forgotten her own actions. “I always rewash my hair after I get a new cut or color- It’s very stubborn and other people just don’t know how to deal with it, so I redo the styling after every appointment.” You nod in acknowledgement before noting that yours was the same way.

She hums in thought. “I never remembered your hair being too difficult, honey. Wasn’t I the one who taught you how to braid your hair?” You chew on your cheeks at the memories that were now flooding back. “Yeah, you were. I’m still not sure how you managed that, no one else has ever been able to do anything with my hair…”

She smirks at the sound of that before saying “Well, I guess I just know how to tame your stubbornness, huh? Sometimes it just takes a certain touch.” You’re not sure how you hadn’t melted into a puddle by the time she reached out to a lock of your hair and raked her fingers through it, lightly pulling when she got to the end. It was impossible to tell if this was on purpose or not, but you knew for certain that she caught the way you lightly gasped at and leaned into the tug, her eyes immediately darkening and snapping to your own before she brought her hand back to her own person. She gives you just a bit of mercy when she turns halfway to the boys.

“Hey, I think we should go out into town for dinner tonight because… I don’t feel like cooking. We’ll all leave in about an hour, so you should all start thinking about getting into some nice-ish clothes, alright?” The boys nod and head up to their room, you and Wanda going back to your own.

Sorting through your bags and not finding much to suit the occasion, you settle on your go-to jeans and a soft, form-fitting black top. You top it off with a few necklaces and replaces your bottom studs with hoop earrings, spray a nicer perfume, and throw some light makeup on. When you step out of your room at the same time as Wanda, you’re first startled by the synchronization and then left speechless by her effortless beauty.

She’s styled her new haircut, which perfectly frames her face with feathery bangs and a few shaggy layers. It’s young cut that brings out the older woman’s youthful energy and makes you want to drop to your knees in front of her.

Aside from that, she’s chosen a light and dewy style of makeup- a light brushing of mascara and peachy blush kissing her cheeks, bringing out her naturally dramatic cheekbones- and a classy outfit that affected you greatly despite its simplicity: a low-cut black tank bodysuit and straight-cut dark wash jeans. “Looks like we’re matching, sweet girl. How did that work itself out?” She taunts, and your eyes wander to the way slight crows feet announce themselves in the corners of her eyes while she flashes you a smile that makes your head spin.

“I guess great minds think alike, Mrs. Maximoff.” You say the first thing that comes to mind, the rest of your brain short-circuiting at the sight of the woman. She calmly saunters forward just a step, closing the gap between you and forcing you to tilt your head upwards as the additional height created by her black high-heeled boots. As she crosses her arms just below her chest, though, you feel your eyes falter and fall down on instinct. “No, eyes up.” She speaks in a familiarly stern tone, and you look up, biting down on your bottom lip as a flustered warmth covers your face. “And I’m not going to tell you again, little girl,” she brings her thumb up to your chin and drags your lip out of the painful reach of your teeth, “call. Me. Wanda.” Her head is now tilted a bit to the side, her eyes fixed on your bottom lip as it regains color, studying the marks your teeth left on them.

She continues speaking, though this time with a sickly sweet quality, her tone softer now. “And ‘great minds,’ really? I know I tell you you’re my smart girl, but you seem to think I’m yours. Am I right about that, honey?” Your chest rises and falls quickly as your heart rate and breaths quicken at her teasing words.

“You’re… yes, you’re incredibly intelligent, ma’am.” You wince and correct yourself. “Wanda.” She sighs and pushes her tongue into her cheek before talking again.

“No, no, I think ‘ma’am’ is okay, actually. You can have that one. But you didn’t answer my question. Do you think of me as your smart girl?” Your mouth opens, then closes, then opens again, but no words come out. “Well?”

Your head falls along with your gaze once again, the sight of her soft skin and exposed chest does no help to your efforts to grasp for words. Just when she takes her signature hold on your jaw and forces your eyes to lock with her own, Tommy calls out for her, followed by Billy. The boys were waiting impatiently to leave, minds driven by hunger.

Her grip softens and her eyes drop to the ground as she chuckles. Looking at you once again, she leans forward and lets her lips ghost the shell of your ear as she whispers, “Saved by the bell. Lucky girl.” She pulls back and turns on her heels, disappearing into the doorframe of her room before coming out once more, having produced an oversized denim jacket matching her jeans. “Can’t have you staring at me like that in front of the boys, now can we?” She asks as she rests one hand on your shoulder, letting it run across your chest as she walks towards the front door.

…………………………………………………………………………

Part one of night two! I hope to have the ending of this part out by tomorrow night. I apologize for my slow uploading schedule, but I want to build the tension in this story the right way and put as much detail in as possible :) Let me know what you think and leave any requests as always! ❤️

Tags: @dandelions4us @bees-for-brains @scxrlett-wid0w @ahintofchaos @rosekjsses @lonliestafterparty @chlondykebar @mommywandas @w1theredroz3 @bella423 @mrsromanovaa @watashiwaglr38

[atqh16]

Please hualian modern au fic. I want a 32 year old Xie Lian who's just gotten his life together (after a violently abusive relationship with his step father) even though he's living in studio apartment that's barely bigger than his second hand car that has had the 'check engine' light flashing for the past month but he hasn't had the time to actually do anything about it so it will keep flashing for now. He's rekindled his friendship with his two life long best friends that he'd parted ways with in college and they're both trying to help him in their own way but the status quo that used to exist among them has changed so much that the duo have lost their footing. Mu Qing in his effort to push Xie Lian to just live with him in his 2 bedroom apartment keeps making passive aggressive backhanded comments about Xie Lians living situation that he scolds himself for the moment he's alone. Whilst Feng Xin becomes an overprotective mother hen everytime Xie Lian so much as coughs but also keeps talking about how it's his cars fault, or his apartments fault, or it's about how his job as a janitor (best job he could find as a college drop out) is making him sick because of all the fumes from the cleaning supplies even though he knows Xie Lian of all people would be careful about that sort of thing.

But Xie Lian, for the first time in so many years, is so genuinely content with what he has. He has his fluffy cat waiting for him at home. He has an actual stove to cook his food instead of just cup noodles, and a working refrigerator which is all so amazing compared to the 6 years he spent homeless while trying to run away from his abuser.

Then he meets San Lang who asks him out on a date but instead of some fancy place he makes a picnic with homemade sandwiches and sparkling water and they would eat and play games and then look at the stars when it got late. Every date they go on always has San Lang doing something special but inexpensive because he knows tossing money at something isn't going to be what Xie Lian cares about.

It's revealed, of course, that San Lang was actually the 12 year old boy that 16 year old Xie Lian had saved from committing suicide by grasping his hand just before the little boy could let go. As San Lang got older, he craved to find Xie Lian again to tell him how much his help and words had meant to him. But when he stumbled on Xie Lian working as part of the clean-up crew at one of his events, suddenly the long forgotten crush he'd felt for his savior suddenly revealed itself after a very long time

And Xie Lian would realize that he wasn't just content. He was... actually.... happy.

He didn't wake up every morning with hope that it would be a good day. He knew it would be the second he opened the morning text San Lang sent to him every day. He doesn't eat alone anymore. San Lang always joins him on his meals, and if San Lang could persuade him, he would even take him out to eat somewhere he thinks Xie Lian would like. San Lang doesn't try to persuade Xie Lian to quit his job though, because he knows Xie Lian loves his work and the kids at the school. But he always makes it a point to drop him off and pick him up and if anyone's jaw drops to see the school janitor popping out of a sleek, dark red Ferrari, Xie Lian doesn't notice. Too busy giving his boyfriend his goodbye kiss.

[monstorous-lullaby-au]

Log 2: Arrival

As we drove into town, I felt a hit of nostalgia and anxiety taking a toll on me.

This town…this place…a place where monsters (yes, REAL monsters. The ones you see on the big screen) and humans lived as one.

This used to be my home…before we moved out…because of the accident.

My partner asked if I was ok and if I REALLY have to do this? I could’ve just stay at home, with my lovely wife and son, moving forward with my life.

But…Deep down in my subconscious…it told me ‘No! You have to do this! You can’t keep running away from this forever!’

It’s true…I really can’t…not anymore.

We stopped by the police station to pick up the officer assigned to us. The sheriff greeted us warmly (despite being a demon of some sort, but who am I to judge?) and had us wait for them.

As maroon was getting both of us coffee, I was thinking to myself.

‘Can’t believe I’m actually back here again…after all those years…wonder they still-’

These thoughts were immediately cut off as the boss approached us with our assigned officer.

Wait…that guy looks-

Oh no…

“Detectives, I’d like to introduce you to officer Hanami. He’ll be assisting you both on the Aguilar case for now on.”

The officer looked at me, Recognized me and growled at me.

I chuckled nervously to myself, karma was DEFINITELY a fucking bitch…

[End of log]

@baileythebean

[ph0bia-archives]

Interpretation is entirely personable and I do not mean to argue against your own opinions and views but. Personally cannot see DiMA as some manipulative monster. This is just me ranting cause he’s one of the best written fallout 4 characters imo. Obviously spoilers ahead :3

For one— he doesn’t maliciously manipulate Kasumi. From the sounds of it, he just asks her questions that lead her to believing she’s a synth. She was isolated, and felt that she stood out even in her own family. She wanted a reason to leave, to think that she was connected to machinery more than it being a personal comfort. Acadia is a refuge for synths. It makes no sense for DiMA to lure normal people there?

For two— of course he acts like the institute! His whole existence is to form a personality around experience. He grew up in the institute, taking in their methods and morals. The only expressed reason he grew disillusioned to them is because Nick suffered. But that’s still all his first experiences. The institute, and people hurting synths.

For three— I don’t think it’s ever explicitly said what far harbor was like before the sole survivor gets there/before synth Avery. Maybe they were hostile towards synths, or Acadia. At the very least, they’re still hostile towards the children of atom, a group who 1. Before Tektus we’re (if I’m not mistaken) relatively peaceful, and 2. Did not react negatively or with hostility towards Synths. This is a simple baseline, but remember. DiMA went from only knowing people who hurt synths for their own gain to sitting alone in a cave for a year, to people who didn’t want to hurt him. The safety of synths is his first priority. Replacing Avery is extremely fucked, yes, it’s exactly what the institute does. Because that’s the first things DiMA knows. If far harbor was aggressive against Acadia, what should DiMA have done? Probably definitely not murdered a woman and replaced her, but from his perspective, that was probably the least damaging option, rather than letting his synths die, or killing the harbormen. He removed the memories likely because that’s how the institute functions! He was acting like them! The people who hurt the person he considered family!

Four— I didn’t actually choose/explore the routes where you’re with the institute or the brotherhood of steel, so. Can’t really say for certain my thoughts on his reactions, but. I think it would make most sense for him to act peacefully if you say that before giving him the tapes, because he wouldn’t have an idea of how he’d reacted previously. He wouldn’t know he had the experience of combatting groups who’d want Acadia exterminated, he doesn’t know the extent he’d go to preemptively keep Acadia safe.

Five— with the replacing tektus plan, it goes back to perhaps WHY he removed the memory of replacing avery. That’s what the institute does. If he remembers that experience of doing the same thing as his creators, maybe he’d integrate that into his personality. I don’t know if it’s fleshed out HOW DiMA’s mind works, if it’s like an actual person who can pick and choose what they learn from, or if it’s all turned into gained knowledge, or if I’m a dummy who needs to brush up on lore (good time to say that most of my interpretations came from my play through of far habit which I didn’t know existed until I accidentally started it, so. If anything I say or think is in contradiction to another route or such. Blame the naivety). But after he has that tape, he knows this is 1. Something that worked and 2. Something he’s willing to do with all the same reasoning as before. So he does it again.

Over all. I think if DiMA is hypocritical it works. He’s a machine over a hundred years old. That’s a lot of experience for a mfer who’s mind is supposed to develop and base itself on experience! His mind likely grows and changes rapidly based on events that happen to him. I can’t imagine he’s hypocritical without being written that way. Everything bad he does is for Acadia. I cannot interpret him as some malicious leader who wants to wipe out the other factions. Just someone who’s learned that sometimes the ends justify the means.

Anyways sorry autism rant OVER

Fo4 Far Harbor DLC spoilers

Replaying Far Harbor and watching vids abt the different lore it’s impossible to see DiMA as anything but an evil, hypocritical, and downright stupid monster. I don’t get how so many people love him.

He’s a murderer who had plans to obliterate an entire people and who did murder and replace an innocent woman. When you confront him about those memories that he purposefully removed bc he couldn’t live with how evil he is he’s like “I can’t believe I did that :’( we should totally do it again tho that’s a really good idea.” And then you can!!! It’s literally the exact same horrible things that the Institute does! He manipulates Kasumi (who we can determine by talking to the Institute, the people she knows, and by killing her in an Institute quest is not a synth) into believing she is a synth and lures her to the island with this manipulation!! He manipulates many others like this too to get his evil desires done in pretty obvious ways. I would count many of his synths, Nick, and the player among his targets.

If you’re sided with the Institute and you tell him and his synths to come back to it he says no but that he will not run and will not attack you. He condemns all of the synths in his “sanctuary” by taking not action and allowing you to go report back their existence to the Institute so that coursers can come reclaim or kill everyone there!! Same thing happens if you tell him you’re with the Brotherhood and synths existence is an affront to humanity he’s like “okay but we’re not gonna leave still” and then you can bring the Brotherhood forces to murder them all.

If you blow up some of the factions on the island he’ll be like “You’ve only brought death here >:( I hope you can live with yourself you monster!” Like that wasn’t his WHOLE ASS PLAN that he removed his memories of bc he couldn’t live with himself!!! Fucking hypocrite!!! This is only a few of his crimes. He is so evil and stupid it hurts.

[chalkrub]

thank you for a great art fight! here's some of my final attacks. had a blast, already missing it - see you next year!

[reeama-the-mage]

The difference between the tragedy of Edwin's and Charles' lives and deaths and what makes Charles' much more compelling to me is that Edwin never had anyone he could trust: he grew up with distant parents who i imagine he saw rarely and could not confide in, then he went to school and was immediately recognized as other in a way he had not fully realized of himself yet and was killed for it, and then comes hell and well who can u trust in hell? Certainly not the things that chase you until your legs ache, and even if your compatriots in the whole ordeal are as innocent as you, trapped in the same technicality, what is the good of trusting them, when they are just as helpless as you?

But Charles? Everyone Charles was supposed to trust betrayed him. His parents were close to him, atleast somewhat, atleast his father was around enough to get sick of hearing owner of a lonely heart, and his mother was around enough to watch his father beat him and be silently horrified and ultimately not do anything about it, maybe she stepped in once and we just never saw it, but I wouldn't bet on it, Charles' mom is 'quiet' that's her defining feature to Charles not protective or gentle just 'quiet', then Charles gets to school and he is popular he has friends! He has people who care for him (or should maybe, as long as he's good at sports like he's needed to be) and then he stands up for one person, because he has always wanted to be good and maybe he trusts himself to do it just this once and his friends kill him and his own actions signed the death warrant and he cannot even trust himself to do the right thing properly (it never got better and then you died)

And maybe, maybe Edwin does it too, with less intention to hurt, and with less knowledge but Charles and Edwin trust eachother maybe more than anything (maybe Charles would sooner slip away from earth's gravity than stop putting his trust in Edwin who he thinks is good and smart and brills and aces) and maybe Edwin still looks at Charles trying to protect him after Charles has had maybe the worst week of his existence and says "that was a bit...... extreme" and Edwin still promises Charles can tell him anything while hiding himself in a way that makes Charles feel untrustworthy

So yeah I'll never stop thinking about the tragedy of Charles Rowland actually 👍 think about him with me

[goldiipond]

ohhh my friend came over and we somehow ended up watching the entirety of tpn season one and ray still makes me so fucking sick. im goig to tear apart steel beams with my teeth

[frobby]

BLUE EXORCIST FANS

im here to show you:

baby yukio and shiemi

[kyouka-supremacy]

(´･ᴗ･ ` )

[kuromi-hoemie]

hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??