#i just need to. read the relevant parts but it helps that i am genuinely deeply fascinated by this topic

[lesbianherald]

hiii I’m curious : what’s your process for creating your stories? like character development, plotting, creating arcs, etc?

thank you for asking !!! i'm going to get way longer and more thorough about this than necessary I feel it in my bones so I'm going to read more this now (I included a few tidbits from my miro board for carry the blade :) )

it's such a mixed bag ! part of this is my adhd lmao, and part of it is because, genuinely, I think each story needs something different.

almost ALWAYS (with one rare exception of a sci/fi fantasy world I've been building for years) I start with character, especially in original work. Because character is everything it's who we're following it's what the audience/readership will grab onto. Usually I have a basic premise and setting already there, but I don't build on it until I get to know who we're dealing with in the story. And then after building up the premise, setting, and plot I do even more character work after.

sometimes.... sometimes I get really impatient to start and start writing half way through the planning process. But anyways.

so I come up with character. do the basics. think about what their deal is. What is the journey they need to have, the lesson they need to learn, what themes and emotions do I want to explore with this character? Why is she important to me? Why will she be important to others?

I also think a lot about relationships

i just wrote a coming of age dramatic comedy for instance, and for that one, I broke up the story into my protagonists relationships. Wrote out the arc/story of each relationship and then combined each of these arcs into the key points that made up the film. Each relationship I wanted to be relevant to her grieving process, as she had just lost her mother. IDK if that makes sense. I wish I could show you but unfortunately I cannot.

for fic its honestly similar, but we already know character, so I usually ask what about this character/these characters am I most excited to explore.

that being said, coming home came to me in the idea for what they'd be like in modern day, and then a single idea for a single scene - their first kiss in the lab. I wrote that first, then asked myself what the context I wanted to give it was. Of course, I changed it a little once I actually got to writing and fleshing out chapter eight.

but this fantasy fic i'm writing is a fun example. I'm building out a lot. I'm building out characters, the world, the themes. - using visuals to help me kind of guide myself.

but because I have adhd and get impatient. I am outlining throughout this process to keep myself entertained. perhaps ideally you'd figure out everything first then outline then write but my brain just doesn't work that way.

in fics, especially, the relationship is so important that I really like to see how the obstacles they face, both due to their own psychology and internal pressures, can reflect the themes, create tension, etc.

but i also like to reflect on side characters too - their motivations and desires. So they don't just become like - flat little reflections of the central love story.

Finally, and this i learned from acting theory mostly - but I love it - is in each scene I like to think of what each character wants, what they are going to do to try and get that, and why they want it. In this fic, wants are something I also look at from a chapter by chapter basis.

side note - and i'm only saying this this far down so hopefully not too may people will see it - but I do have a secret subplot going on throughout the first half of this story that the audience doesn't know about.

in order to make this work I've been mapping out everything going on behind the scenes, and making sure they pair up well with events that people reading will see. it helps me plant little hints and seeds while hopefully not giving too much away (secret subplot in blue, actual story in red)

sorry i know this is such a ramble I just took my meds and had a double shot of expresso so I am buzzing right now lmao! Obviously I'm not the expert and there's not only one way. And also it really is so different for me every time. It's important to think about what the story actually calls for !

[bogkeep]

tbh my thesis on the astronomical clock in prague might just become a redo of a tenth grade thesis i did about the history of clocks. like the question i want to answer is "why does this clock fascinate us so much" and i think the surface level answer is that it looks cool as hell and is in a touristy part of a touristy town - but on the deeper level it's like. well it's one of the oldest mechanical clocks in the world that's still ticking, and it barely looks like the clocks we have now. it's like pshaw of course i can read a clock, you just look at the dial and the hands, right? and then this clock is like. unreadable because the upper dial shows no less than four kinds of time: babylonian time (twelve hours of day + twelve hours of night, but the length of the hours varies depending on the place and time of year), bohemian or italian time (24 hours that start at sunset, good for seeing how many hours of daylight there's left), old germanic time i think it was called (that's just like what we use now except it doesn't account for daylight savings!), and sidereal time (uhhh is this the zodiac circle thing?????? i should know this)

because the thing about how we count time is, WHY do we count time the way we do? why Twelve hours specifically. what matters more, exact measurements of time units, or following the ebb and flow of daylight? has the way the shaped clocks shaped our lives?? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. or at least i think about it when i see a clock like the orloj.

[the---hermit]

05|06|2024

New day new struggles working on this history paper. I cannot stress enough how stressed I am about how bad the new research interface of my uni is, I feel like ever since they did the big update it's super complicated to get results that have to do with what you are looking for and that are accessible too. Moreover no one cares about this topic because I genuinely cannot find anything. I have found a couple of articles to help me with context but not much. By the end of the week I plan on finishing reading and highlighting what resources I have found and then I'll see what I can make of them, and get back to the professor. I am procrastinating emailing her back because I have no idea what to say tbh. My English lit review on the other hand is going pretty well, and reviewing in the afternoons seems to be a good plan. Since I am a bit more tired having to review out loud helps me with staying focused, and I also don't have to read historical sources all day, or else I'd lose my mind. This afternoon I struggled to stay focused anyway, but at least I got some stuff done, if I had to continue my history research I wouldn't have done anything probably. My brain is just very very tired again.

Today's productivity:

started my morning with an audiobook

more struggling looking for historical sources (I found a couple more but I am keeping those for the very end because they are once again not 100% relevant to what I have to do)

read and highlighted quite a few sources I downloaded at the beginning of the week (a couple were more or less useful a couple were a waste of time, but maybe I'll quote a couple of context details in the end, who knows. At the moment I only need to read two more and then I am done with my first round of secondary sources, but one of those might get deleated because I'm pretty sure is totally useless)

got to practice my French because of a couple of said historical sources, and wrote down the new words I learned today (surprisingly my understaning is better than I expected giving that I have not used my French in years, I should really get back to it more seriously)

continued my first outloud review of all my English lit materials (today I started working on the Shakespeare part, it will take a couple of days to finish it, especially bc today I didn't do as much as I had hoped)

wrote a little summary of a couple of sentences for all the scenes of The Merchant Of Venice in order to review it without having to reread it for the fourth time

[suzukiblu]

this is a question that is not meant to come off as judgemental, and if it does i apologise and you don’t have to answer

for you, or anyone out there in the world if they see this,

What is the appeal of (the?) Omegaverse?

Ive never quite gotten it? And it might be the big bold orange, blue and white letters spelling out aroace, or being european, younger than most people who are knowledgeable about that particular genre of content (still 18+) and while I did get on the internet at 11, I didn’t start reading fanfic until 14-15

this is a long and rambly ask so I just want to clarify, this is a genuine question I would like an answer to, no matter how short and sweet, or long and convoluted it may be

It's all good, I don't mind getting questions! And, like, I've written a LOT of omegaverse, so it's a thoroughly relevant question to this blog, haha.

. . . and this definitely wound up long and convoluted. So like, yeah, we are SO gonna need a read-more here, friend. 😅

Obviously everyone's gonna have their own reasons for liking the genre, but as another (much older, I'm assuming) aroace, for me the appeal is the opportunity to use the tag "Fantasy Gender Roles". Like, there's other stuff there, def, but "Fantasy Gender Roles" is my favorite part. Omegaverse is a game where the rules are made-up and the points don't matter, and you can interpret and re-interpret the involved sexes and genders however the heck you wanna, and in fact are ENCOURAGED to. I also really like certain tropes that are common to the genre, like pack dynamics and breeding kink and having babies and feral behavior and courting/courting rituals, I just really enjoy playing with and reading about all of those.

Also, the worldbuilding. I get to do ✨GENDER-BASED WORLDBUILDING✨.

And obvi, like, some people are just into omegaverse for the kink/porn factor, which is totally fair, but personally I am here for ✨GENDER-BASED WORLDBUILDING✨. And then also the kink/porn. Generally speaking a recurring comment I've gotten from a lot of readers is "I literally hate omegaverse but I love yours", so a lot of my stuff is allegedly a decent jumping-on point for the genre if you're looking for that. Like, I'm not the only person who writes omegaverse the way I do, obviously, just I'm a pretty accessible one who's written a LOT of it.

( and in the event you DO want any jumping-on omegaverse recs from my stuff, I'mma just pop a few of them from various fandoms here. no DC-related ones 'cuz I don't have any of those currently on AO3, only scattered in my WIP tags, but hopefully something helpful will be in here. )

original fic

to the victor go the spoils - human omega OMC/dragon [ GENDER NOT FOUND ] OMC; 16.7k; explicit Fantasy AU. This one includes porn but honestly the heart of it is just one of those fairy tales where the protagonist is somehow both incredibly genre-savvy in their story and yet still a total fucking idiot about other people's feelings, and especially considering it's original fic, it is honestly one of the most popular things I've ever posted, hah.

The dragon arrived early in the morning, and by noon the entire village was in a panic in the town hall. No one in the village knew anything about dragons, aside from what they’d heard in fairy tales and stories, and the plans for dealing with it were about that level of sophisticated.

“We’re not sacrificing a virgin to the dragon,” Viktor said in exasperation.

“Well what would YOU do?!” the mayor demanded.

“I’m going to go talk to it,” Viktor said reasonably, and got up from his seat and went to do just that.

.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

does the pain feel better when I'm around? - beta!Sokka/omega!Zuko, beta!Sokka/beta!Suki, past alpha!Mai/omega!Zuko, polyamory; 3k; teen Societal dynamics-focused fic. Zuko goes into heat at the Western Air Temple immediately after the Boiling Rock happens and goes off to den down alone and stay out of everyone's way without realizing that the local betas are gonna lose their ever-lovin' MINDS about that.

“Cool,” he says. “You realize we’ve been looking for you for, like, two HOURS, right?”

“Why?” Zuko asks, sounding confused, which is kind of sad.

“Because the world is full of people who wanna kill you and you didn’t bother telling anyone where you were going?” Sokka says. “Obviously?”

“Oh.” Zuko falls silent. Sokka glances moonwards in supplication. Yue save him from dumb, dumb firebenders.

every act of communication is a miracle of translation - alpha!Mai/omega!Zuko; 5.7k; teen Post-series fic where Mai and Zuko are about to spend their first cycle together and they're both really awkward about working out how it should go. Not actually a sequel to "does the pain feel better when I'm around?", but you could definitely draw a relationship between 'em.

They leave the office, Mai pretending that all her senses aren’t full of Zuko’s warm, spicy scent, and he keeps looking worried. She wonders if it’s THIS he’s worried about, now that she’s thinking about it. They agreed they’d share their next cycles together, but again, they haven’t really talked about it.

They can talk about it now, Mai thinks.

Unfortunately, that means now they actually have to talk about it.

.

Overwatch

even if I do I don't, even if I could I won't - omega!Genji/beta!the-character-who-was-at-the-time-I-wrote-this-fic-known-as-McCree; 5.1k; explicit Blackwatch-era fic where Genji did not fill out his heat partner designation forms and "Fuck or Suffer Unspecified Health Consequences" is gonna make that a problem. Worldbuilding, assisted negotiation, a touch of workplace-influenced pack dynamics, and porn.

“Yeah, you’re hilarious, kid,” Gabe says. “Get back to work. And Shimada, call your heat partner and we’ll see you next week.”

Shimada’s shoulders tense. Gabe . . . pauses.

“Shimada,” he says slowly. “PLEASE tell me you have a heat partner on base.”

“I have a heat partner on base,” Shimada lies. Gabe and Jesse both stare at him, then Gabe calls up his file, takes one look at it, and starts cursing.

don't, don't, don't let's start (I've got a weak heart) - alpha!Genji/omega!the-character-who-was-at-the-time-I-wrote-this-fic-known-as-McCree; 17.3k; explicit Blackwatch-era fic about Genji and the character formerly known as McCree dealing with their complicated feelings about each other and also the cybernetics and trauma and physical disabilities that are fucking up their sex life, including ED.

“You busy?” he asks. Genji stares at him in bemusement, which is fair. Genji’s only ever busy when they’re on a mission or he’s in the middle of an upgrade. “Dumb question. My heat’s coming on, wanna do me a favor?”

“What favor?” Genji asks, still looking mystified. Jesse tries not to laugh at him.

“The obvious one,” he says meaningfully, tipping his hat back and raising his eyebrows at him. Genji looks no less mystified for a moment, then startles. “THERE we go."

.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

come hang (let's go out with a bang) - omega!Darcy Lewis/omega!Johnny Storm; 5k; teen Darcy almost dies again, tries to figure out which omega buys the courting gifts in an omega/omega relationship, and has her first date with a super-hot superhero.

“Was there traffic?” Jane asks.

“I have a date with Johnny Storm,” Darcy says.

“What?” Jane says.

“Oh, and I almost died again,” Darcy says, pulling out Jane’s papers for her. “But that’s kind of secondary.”

“WHAT?!”

pack up, don't stray (oh say say say) - alpha!Natasha + polyamory; 3.4k; teen Natasha collects a harem pack and Captain America is fucking difficult about it.

Natasha is an alpha on a mission, and that mission is simple and clear.

I said you're holding back, she said shut up and dance with me - alpha!Peggy/omega!Steve/omega!Bucky; 10.3k; mature Alternate timeline where Steve and Bucky don't "die" and they all run away from the States to get married and start a family. Illegal adoption and biokids and lowkey pack dynamics involving figuring out how to fold pups into their lives, oh my!! And also, they all get to dance.

“One alpha mating two omegas? Really, Steve?” Peggy asks, mouth quirking wryly. “What WOULD the newsreels say?”

“We’ll go to France,” Steve says. “No one will care in France.”

“I do love France,” she muses.

oh don't you dare hold back, just keep your eyes on me - alpha!Darcy/omega!Bucky, polyamory; 187.4k; explicit MY MAGNUM OPUS, MY WHITE WHALE, THE LITERAL REASON OMEGAVERSE TOOK OVER HALF MY BLOG FOR HALF MY STINT IN MCU FANDOM. I wanted a goddamn female alpha and I wanted that female alpha to be Darcy Lewis, and Bucky was my fave blorbo at the time so the inevitable happened. The inevitable happened for three and a half years and 187,430 words, to be more precise.

Darcy is thirty feet out of Stark-cum-Avengers Tower when she starts craving cinnamon rolls--the sticky-sweet iced-up old-fashioned kind, yummy and messy and dripping gooshy icing all over your mouth and hands and down your yuuuup, yup, that is a super, super fertile omega that she is smelling, holy SHIT is it ever.

“Jesus Christ,” she groans in frustration, then follows her alpha instincts (and, more easily and importantly, her NOSE) to go track them down. They’re in the middle of New York City; middle of the day or not, not checking on somebody who smells like THAT is, like, the ultimate dick move.

.

OKAY SELF THAT'S ENOUGH LINKS, WE MOVE ON NOW, haha.

I will also say, if you're interested in, like, gender-exploratory AU concepts, apiary genders might be more your thing and more easily accessible for you? It's a MUCH newer thing than omegaverse and really only has a few fics around, some of which are linked in the "inspired by" of that AO3 primer linked above, but the concept is a bit more strongly "hive"-based than a lot of omegaverse is "pack"-based, and also there's no physical differences from baseline. I've got a WIP or two going about apiary myself, actually, but I haven't gotten too far into them yet, alas. The only one I've posted anything from is this one Superbat one.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[certifiedsexed]

hi! i sent in an ask about this a while ago (maybe a month?), i'm not sure what happened to it but i figure it doesnt hurt to resubmit.

do you know of any alternate terms for amab/afab? this is such a silly reason, but i collect characters, and i like writing as 'realistic' of a profile for them as i can. but i don't like explicitly saying 'this character was born with a penis' but i like having their biological sex as a detail, because it's a detail a real person would have. i would use the terms amab/afab to denote what a character's bio sex is (or if they're binary, i would say cis/trans). but i read that agab terms are intersex-exclusive, which admittedly hadn't crossed my mind, even though i have intersex characters. so i'm looking for if there are any alternatives to 'this character was born with just a penis' without saying... you know, exactly that. it has a different connotation, especially when writing character profiles and not, ex, a personal bio.

thank you for running this blog! i have limited access to good information where i am and this blog has definitely helped a ton 😊

Hello!

Tbh, I have a frankly unfathomble amount of asks so it probably just got buried but you're right, it absolutely never hurts to resubmit, I don't mind in the least.

Well, here's the thing: "biological sex" is not a real thing and is not the same as "this character was born with a penis/vagina". It's often used to discriminate against trans/intersex people.

In fact, the term "biological sex" was made up to describe something that doesn't exist, AKA "sex" as an unchangeable, completely binary thing and its also a transphobic/intersexist dogwhistle, so I'd definitely advise against using it!

Secondly, AGAB terms are not inherently intersex-exclusive but the way you were using them And the way you're using "bio sex" certainly is.

AGAB was a term meant to be used to discuss how sex is just something assigned to people, often at birth, making a million and one assumptions about what their body [and in fact place in society] "should" be and in fact, part of a process of forcing people's bodies and lives to conform to a violent binary system.

If I'm not incorrect, it was created by intersex people. It's just often used incorrectly. It doesn't mean "someone who was assigned X was born with X genitals", which is where you've gotten mixed up; that would definitely be intersex-exclusive!

Now, if you're looking for alternatives to saying "this character was born with a penis/vagina", that's kind of out of my wheelhouse. Mark a "P" or "V" beside their name or something, maybe?

I wish I could be more helpful but I'm genuinely kind of stuck on this. I'm not sure why you need a euphemism for your personal bios of your characters and I'm not sure why it's relevant to note this for every nonbinary character you have.

(I'm also confused on the trans/cis note for your "binary" characters. Like, that also does not tell you what genitals they have/had if you're including intersex people. Do the genitals only matter for the nonbinary characters?)

I'm genuinely not trying to be an ass, I'm just confused. Maybe let me know if you have any other questions?

You're very welcome btw, I'm glad I've been able to help on other matters! <3

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Role Reversal

Roman kept mentioning that he doesn’t like transformations and it kept reminding me of Patton turning into a giant frog and Janus disguising himself as other sides. It would be very cool and epic if you could make some Roman angst based off this concept (no pressure obviously) – anon

The song "I Am in Great Pain, Please Help Me" by Crywank reminds me so much of Roman (specifically, your brand of Roman angst). I was wondering if you had the spoons for it, to write something inspired by it? No pressure to, ofc! – anon

Perhaps something where Roman is comforting Logan and then after Roman leaves, Logan is like, “Wait, shit, I should have been comforting YOU!”. You know the scene in What Makes A Perfect Gift where Logan asks for Roman’s input and Roman looks genuinely surprised? The angst potential for Roman not thinking he’s needed at a BRAINSTORM is so slept on. I know you’ve had a lot of Roman angst asks lately so I understand if you don’t want to do it, but I definitely wanted to ask just in case! – anon

Roman angst disguised as Logan centric. Logan Sherlock fic about him trying to figure out why Thomas’s mental health is so bad. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman being insecure, logan being insecure

Pairings: logince can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3143

Logan feels stressed about Thomas's mental health and goes to Roman for help discussing a possible upcoming video, only for Roman to accurately guess that Logan's feeling insecure about his own role in keeping Thomas happy and healthy. Little does Logan know: there's more going on than meets the eye and it isn't until later that he realizes Roman's far more fragile than anyone could've guessed. After that, well, there's really only one course of action.

If Logan had not been paying very, very close attention, there is every possibility that he could have missed it.

He almost did; despite being entirely focused on his goal, he has to admit that it wasn't something he saw as necessarily related, and as such, dismissed initially as not relevant to solving the problem of why Thomas's mental health had been in a steady decline since the wedding. However, upon further reflection, he can conclude that not only was the sudden tightening of Roman's expression related, it was most likely the strongest indicator he's seen since he began.

"Sorry, Specs, I think my hearing cut out of a second there." Roman scratches the back of his head almost sheepishly. "Can you—can you say that one more time?"

"I believe it would be helpful for Thomas for us to do another 'low-key' video, as it were, and for you and I to work together."

"Yes, I heard that part."

"As we want to focus on recapturing some of Thomas's whimsy and zest for life—" here Roman's expression quirks towards amusement— "it would be apt for you to try and recreate some of the dreams Thomas has held onto in the past."

"Right, but not like—"

"Including transforming into those he aspired to be or the roles he aspired to fill," Logan finishes, frowning when there's that momentary tightness in Roman's smile again, "do you concur?"

"I—so I'm all for helping Thomas fall in love with his dreams again, you know, but, um…" He twists his fingers together. "I'm not sure that this is…the best way to do it?"

"You are the embodiment of Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Who else would be better equipped to help me?"

Roman blinks as if he hadn't been expecting the comment. Which is in and of itself a little odd; Roman typically never passes up the opportunity to remind them of his standing in Thomas's psyche, nor to claim credit for half of the things Thomas does even when it's far more of a group effort. "Right, but I don't see how me turning into various things would be helpful."

"Thomas is a very visual learner. It's been proven in the past via various theater productions and other activities that he thrives in environments where he can immerse himself in what it is he's doing. By having you, his Creativity, directly mimic the dreams he wishes or wished to obtain, we draw a more substantial connection between the Thomas that he is now and the Thomas he aspires to be."

Roman's mouth works. Logan frowns.

"If you have something you want to say, Roman, by all means, speak your mind. This brainstorm won't be nearly as successful if only one of us is contributing."

"Where is this coming from, Logan?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"This." Roman gestures back and forth between them. "This sudden need to 'fix' Thomas. You've been pretty clear with the rest of us that you don't think staying 'in his head' would be helpful, not when you're working so hard on your lists that you want him to do."

"Well, it's been pretty clear those aren't working, so—"

"But they have been. You know they have been—we all celebrated when Thomas finally managed to clean his kitchen and you were right, he did feel better afterwards. Your methods were working, are working."

Logan swallows. He did feel very accomplished after the last bowl had been placed in the cupboard, and no one had been happier than he when Thomas not only made himself dinner but cleaned up afterwards, but this was different. "Thomas deserves the drive to go after what he wants as well as doing the maintenance required to sustain his current lifestyle."

Roman nods. "And what sorts of things are those?"

"Roman, I don't understand—"

"Please," he interrupts, holding up his hands, "humor me?"

"You're the one who's Hopes and Dreams," he protests feebly, "you're Creativity. I'm not going to be good at coming up with them."

"Just try. You're better at it than you think."

"O-oh." He blinks. "Thank you, Roman."

"Of course."

"Uh—well, I think Thomas has a passion for filmmaking that he hasn't fully realized in shooting the YouTube videos due to the constraints of the channel."

"Okay."

"He's been enjoying doing the modeling shoots for Instagram as well. And he has a few shows that he wants to catch up on—not a dream, I know, but something he wants to do."

"That's good, Logan. What else?"

"Does he still have the dream of being an actor? On a more professional level?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Well, there you are, then."

Roman nods. "And if we go off of your transformation idea, what—what exactly would I be transforming into?"

He furrows his brow. "Well, you would be—if you were doing—I suppose you—ah. I see your point."

"It's not that there's something Thomas isn't that we need to make him into," Roman says quietly, "we can just remind him of the things that are already inside him that he can chase and pursue."

"…that is a very valid conclusion to have reached."

"He doesn't have to work all the time—I think both you and I know the dangers of letting yourself believe you can," he says with a gentle nudge to Logan's shoulder, "he can give himself time to rest and work on things that he wants to, not things that he has to."

"And I suppose making another video would be counterproductive to this aim, as it requires a level of work that would not be outweighed by the reassurance it might provide."

"I don't know if I would've said it nearly as well as you, but yeah, pretty much."

Logan sighs, closing his notebook with an almost despondent flap. "Then I suppose I have nothing else to work on."

"Good."

He frowns at Roman. "'Good?'"

"Well, now that means you can do the things that you want to do."

"M-me? What on earth are you talking about?"

"Did we not just go over how important it is to not be consumed by work all the time?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Did we not just talk about how it's necessary to rest and do the things you want to do from time to time?"

"I don't—"

"Did you not just say that you have nothing else to work on right now?"

"I know what you're doing," he says, meaning for it to come out accusatory and missing dreadfully, "it's not going to work."

"Me convincing you to take time for yourself and enjoy spending your time how you want to spend it isn't going to work?" Roman grins, leaning forward onto his elbows, propping his chin on his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Roman," he warns.

"What? It's not like I was the only one who came to this conclusion about Thomas a second ago, you were instrumental in figuring it out, Specs."

"Roman."

"And we all know that you're way smarter than I am, so if you're going to take your own advice—which you should, then—"

"Alright!" Roman laughs as Logan buries his face in his hands, trying not to smile too obviously at the praise or blush from how many compliments Roman's just given him, "you've made your point, you can stop now."

"I think you mean I've just reiterated your point, but that's alright." A warm hand pats his shoulder. "You're doing great, Logan. You don't have to stress out about this right now. Thomas has earned a break and so have you, okay?"

"…I suppose there are a few things I've been waiting to do that could occupy my time."

"There you go!" Roman claps his hands and gets up, affectionately ruffling Logan's hair and dodging his attempts to swat him. "Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear about whatever you're working on."

Logan aims another swat at his shoulder and misses, watching Roman sink out. He shakes his head, unable to keep the growing smile off his face as he thinks about his own projects. Yes, there are several things he could do, he could work on refining the data for the experiment, he could read that study he's been eyeing for a few days, he could look over the manuscript he's drafting…

It isn't until he gets back to his room with a different notebook open on his desk that he pauses.

Why had Roman been upset at the suggestion of transformation?

They had agreed upon resting and doing what they wanted, letting Thomas do what he wanted. They had agreed that resting was good, pursuing one's own passions was good. What about transformations had rankled Roman so? He hadn't directly addressed it—something virtually unheard of for Roman. Perhaps it had been something to do with the act of transforming itself? But no, Roman had always been among the first to thrill at being someone else, or pretending to be someone else. What had caused such a dramatic shift?

What sorts of transformations had they done recently? There had been the whole thing with Remus—Logan suppresses a shudder as he remembers Remus's song and everything that happened in it—but Roman had been unconscious for most of it. Aside from that, it had been…

Well, Janus had been transforming into them more often than not, but that was him, mostly, not Roman. And Patton had become the giant frog, but that hadn't really affected Roman that much either. No, the last time Roman had been the one transforming, it had been…for…

Logan stands up, eyes still fixed on a point in the distance as his mind races.

Roman hadn't transformed for himself. It had always been at the whim of someone else. Roman was Hopes and Dreams—Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Roman did things for Thomas. He was Thomas's wants. Despite how often they all called him selfish, he…he didn't really fight for the things that he wanted.

Could he name a single thing that Roman wanted that wasn't something for Thomas?

I think you and I both know the dangers of believing you can work all the time.

There's nothing that Thomas isn't that we need to make him into.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers into the quiet room, "when did you get so good at hiding?"

He doesn't want to know the answer, but his mind is already coming up with a helpful list of every time he can remember where Roman let himself get pushed to the side, overruled, scolded, overlooked, for the sake of someone else. He thinks about the times where Roman had been obviously uncomfortable with what they wanted him to do, and then did it anyway. He thinks about how long it's been since he's actually heard Roman say what he wanted, not what Thomas wanted, not what Patton or Janus or even he wanted.

How long has it been since someone wanted Roman for Roman?

He looks back down at his desk and pulls out a different notebook. He's underestimated Roman. He won't go into this upcoming conversation unprepared.

***

He knocks on Roman's door as softly as he can, waiting for the quiet come in to push it open. Roman looks up from his—

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

"Oh, Roman," he murmurs before he can stop himself, crouching next to Roman's slumped figure and carding a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry."

"N-no, I'm sorry, 'm sorry, I can—" he scrubs a hand harshly across his face— "it's fine. What, um, what do you—"

Another sob interrupts him before he can finish asking if Logan needs anything, which only makes his chest ache all the more. He eases himself down next to Roman's buckled legs and wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders, pulling him close enough to wipe a thumb across his cheek.

"Shh," he says when Roman tries to speak again, "don't stress yourself. I'm not here for anything other than this, little one."

The pet name rolls off his tongue before he can stop it, but at the slightly wounded noise that leaves Roman's lips, he resolves to use them as often as he can. He scratches his nails lightly against his scalp, shushing him again when he tries to stifle another sob.

"I'm here because I realized I'd hurt you earlier," he continues, still speaking gently, "and I did not attempt to comfort you in any way. No, no—don't pull away from me, dear. Shh, don't fret, don't fret, I'm not upset—look at me, Roman, do I look upset?"

Roman's eyes, still filled with tears, roam frantically over his face. Logan keeps his expression as soft and open as he can, letting the concern write itself plainly over the furrow in his brow. After another moment, Roman sniffles and he's already reaching for the tissue box he can see perched haphazardly on the end of the desk. He takes it with a grateful mumble and blows his nose with a honk.

"You were right. You don't need to change to be worth something, or to be fixed. You don't need to become something you're not—oh, darling, hush, now," he says when Roman's eyes grow wide with distress, "I'm not angry, I'm not—oh, you poor thing."

For Roman had begun to sob in earnest, trying in equal parts to pull away from Logan's embrace and push himself near into his chest. Logan slides an arm under his legs and pulls them into his lap, tucking Roman's face into the crook of his neck and kissing the crown of his head. There's a moment where Roman tenses and he fears he might pull away, but then he all but collapses into him and buries his nose in Logan's shirt.

"There you go, little one, shh, it's alright. You can cry, crying is good. You're alright, you're safe, I'm right here." He runs his hand up and down Roman's back. "Shh, shh, that's it…that's it, my dear."

"Sorry—'m so sorry—"

"Shh-shh-shh, no apologies from you, not about this. You're overwhelmed and overworked, it's perfectly alright for you to be emotional right now. You can let it out, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm here to help."

"Help?"

"Mm. You took great pains to comfort me earlier, even when I did not ask, and you," and here he gives Roman a little shake, "have not let anyone comfort you in quite a long time. So yes, I am here to comfort you, to help, and if that means letting you cry in my lap for as long as you need, then that is what I shall do."

"It's so hard," comes the sniffling whisper from under his chin, "I keep—I keep trying to be what they want but they don't know what they want and then it's my fault and I can't—they keep changing and wanting me to change and I can't—"

"Shh, shh…hush, my dear, it's alright. That's right, just let me hold you…"

They spend a great deal of time like that, curled up on the floor. Logan keeps carding his hand through Roman's hair, soothing away the more violent of sobs with gentle touches up and down his back or patting his chest. How long has Roman been holding this in? How long has it been since their prince has let himself fall apart without remorse? And how long has it been since they took pains enough to notice?

He pulls himself from his own thoughts when Roman's head turns, bumping slightly against his chin. He tilts his head to press a kiss to his temple, leaning back just enough to see the blotchy face come into view. Taking another tissue, he carefully dabs up the last of the tears he can see, holding it so Roman can blow his nose again.

"…thanks, Logan."

"Of course, my dear." He raises an eyebrow at the little shudder that goes through him. "No?"

"N-no, yes. Yes. Very much yes. Sorry."

"None of that now, my dear. Do you feel any better?"

"A little bit."

"That's excellent. Shall we sit here for a little longer, or do you want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"C-can we just stay here for a little longer?"

"Of course we can." He runs his thumb over Roman's cheek again. "I am truly sorry it took me so long to figure out what was going on, little one. But I'm here now."

Roman averts his gaze and once again Logan is struck by how different Roman is right now; no longer does he see their fiery prince who so eloquently made him take his own advice mere hours ago, instead he sees a shell of a Side who shies away from a gentle touch like a dog too scared to eat. The comparison alone is enough to coax him to lean forward and kiss his cheek, cuddling him against his chest.

"I'm here now," he repeats, "let me look after you."

"You will?"

"Yes, Roman, I will. I'm right here—" he pulls him a little closer— "I've got you, little one, you're alright."

"I don't know what to do."

"Right now?"

"…anymore."

Logan's heart clenches in his chest and he forces the ache away, running his thumb over his cheek once more. "Well, what do you want to do right now?"

"I want to stay here."

"Then we shall stay here. And when you're ready to figure out what you want to do next," he says, adjusting them until they're both comfortable as can be, "I will be here to help."

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[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, it's flour anon!! it's getting worse, because our moot groups are slowly intertwining, but if worst comes to worst, I'll block her.

for this part, you gotta remember: I'm only thirteen, and i have less of a scope of just how big anti-islam and anti-asian the world is compared to adults.

unfortunately, cultural appropriation is a massive underlying issue in this fandom, and globally. I'm used to it now, but if I can change things here, at least I've changed something, right?

the main thing that you should do is reference a wider part of being indian; don't stop at the colour of our skin. it may not seem offensive, but when that's all im reduced to, a desperate chance to be more inclusive, it's hurtful and invalidating. researching is a massive yes, and you'll learn plenty on the way, too!

the problem lies within people like flour, not you. those who are ignorant will just never bother to learn, especially if they're not part of a minority. what often bugs me is this need to feel oppressed; it's fine if you only feel comfortable sharing your correct pronouns online, but pretending to have mental disorders because you want to fit in is where it would draw the line. there are other ways to go about making friends.

honestly, cas? I mostly see james' representation in your jegulus fics, (which is totally fine!!) but i don't like jegulus content as much because of canon regulus (again, not an issue that you do!) but in clandestine, which i did read, there wasn't much mention to either james' culture OR skin, so you could argue he was white in it i guess!! if you specifically want to make him brown, talk about the things he may do that only resonate with that region, or hardships that he may face to the very real and ongoing racism that is present today.

if you have any questions, feel free to ask! i love answering them, and knowing it will help you with your writing is just one of the many bonuses xx

Okay I hoping it's okay if I'm very honest here? Not in a bad way just in a....I sometimes get so nervous to talk about these things, because I genuinely want to learn and NOT offend. So please tell me if I say anything off-base.

As far as your friend is concerned...yeah, it sounds like maybe starting by blocking her could be good. I feel like it's hard because depending on where you live, saying something could be unsafe. But also I think you should know that you're well within your rights to say something and question her choices. I'm sure you know that. But yeah

And you're right, it's almost sad that someone feels they need to pretend about ANYTHING in their life in order to feel accepted. It makes me wonder, when people pretend like that, what they're missing in their life to feel the need to pretend like that. Like I'm sad for them. But I also am able to look at it from a much more privleged POV

As far as James (and other characters) I think my personal struggle comes with the fact that I headcanon him (as well as dorcas and many others) as not white. But like...I go back and forth about how to write that. Because in some ways, I wonder: do I even mention it? How much does it matter to the particular story I'm writing? Because while I know that race can affect so many aspects of a person's life, if it's not central to the plot, how much do I go into it? I don't speak in detail about a white character's race, after all. So I tend to stick to words like "pale" "tan" etc. Like in Clandestine, I pictured both James and Dorcas specifically as not white, but I didn't mention specifics, because like...that was Regulus's story.

Not to equate the history or experiences of the two in any sense, but to me it feels like Regulus's transness. In most of the things I write, I see him as trans, but I only mention it or tag it if it's relevant to the story.

I also struggle because I know that even with all of the research in the word, I fear that I can't accurately portray what it is like to be a POC because I am not. I don't want to somehow trivialize the feelings associated with that, I guess.

But I don't know if I'm going the right way about it. And I'm not asking you to give me definite answers to those thoughts and questions.

I really am thankful you shared all of this with me, though, because i am cooking up another idea that would involve a more in-depth look at James, so I definitely want to include some of his culture :D If you're open to it, would you be willing to DM me? I don't want to make you do all the work by answering all my questions for me, but if I'm confused it would be great to have someone to check the facts with!

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

Would Wave lay an egg?.....orrr

BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU, ANON!!! so, you may not have seen it, but i made a gargantuan post about Babylonian lore that i will link here in case you want to read a couple thousand words of insanity.

the short answer is at least to me, no, and she can’t have kids viviparously either (which is what you could call a “live birth” the way humans do) all because of a Babylonian mutation. it would really help if you read the whole post, but i feel bad redirecting you, so i’ll oversimplify why it happens and copy/paste the relevant subsection below the cut for a more formal deep dive:

- Babylonians didn’t lay eggs

- Babylonians are no longer “pureblooded” and have gone from their large humanoid forms to mobian-looking birds over the years through genetic assimilation

- Mobian birds lay eggs

- Babylonian genes get confused when someone has a lot of Babylonian DNA, but is a “bird” like Wave

- Eggshell doesn’t form and ejects prematurely

- Bloody first trimester mess aka what I endearingly call “the autoflush abortion DLC”

- Wave can’t have bio kids or she might die (what happened to Jet’s mom in my lore and almost happened to Wave once… but that’s another story hehe)

SO TO SUMMARIZE: to me, she wouldn’t lay eggs. or give birth. she would simply pass away <3 thank you for indulging this niche segment of my lore that i never get to talk about that genuinely excites me

Ovisanguitan Testalysis (OT)

Wow, that's a fancy name for "eggs no work" isn't it? This may come as a surprise, but Babylonians did not lay eggs, they are viviparous: need I repeat myself on how they're humanoid? Anyways, while Babylonians have viviparous births, mobian birds that are NOT Babylonian still exist. It might feel like I am pulling this out of nowhere, and perhaps it is a bit hypocritical for me to say "not all birds are going to be Babylonian!" after attributing an entire recessive trait to them two seconds ago, I firmly believe that birds exist outside of Babylon with no genetic ties. This is because… (inhales) BABYLONIANS ARE NOT BIRDS! THEY ARE BIRD-ESQUE, BUT THEY ARE HUMANOID BIRD-ESQUE CREATURES! Wanna know what else look like birds? BATS! DINOSAURS! DRAGONS! CERTAIN INSECTS!

Just because the Babylonians pride themselves on their birdness, it does not necessitate that birdness is exclusive to Babylonians. However, if modern day Babylonians are birds who have assimilated to be very mobian in composition, it would seem that they would be conceived and developed via eggs, not viviparously. As I established though, Babylonian traits are recessive, and therefore still possible (though not probable) given the right genetic composition.

Some modern day Babylonians then, have a reproductive disorder called Ovisanguitan Testalysis, known as OT. While egg-laying mobians develop about 1/3rd of their offspring inside their body before laying, with the latter part of development occurring independently inside the egg which hatches when completed, Babylonians initially gave birth at the end of term like humans do. Modern day Babylonians with OT will "lay" the same time regular egg-laying mobians do, aka after the first trimester, but because of their Babylonian genes, their body does not physically form a shell around the embryo before it is expelled. Without a shell, this is essentially a VERY premature birth that cannot be incubated or salvaged, and is more comparable to an abortion or miscarriage resembling a bloody clump of cells than a premature child.

There are very few instances where Babylonians with OT are able to prevent their bodies from expelling the embryo prematurely with enough calcium supplements and full-time hospitalization that prevents the premature rejection of the fetus, but because the Babylonians with this disorder are almost always Rogues (I'll probably explain that later) it is essentially just a very rare disorder which affects a small population that aren't even registered as legal citizens to any country. It is not IMPOSSIBLE to successfully have a child with OT, just highly unlikely, and they will probably be underdeveloped in some areas (the most likely defect being a lack of immune system… so the child will probably die from disease even if they make it to term).

Also, if someone with OT were to carry a child to term via medical intervention, the strain this puts on their body will most likely kill them, and if by some miracle they survive, they will be incapacitated as they will never fully recover from the nutrient drainage and overall stress this puts on the body.

[thecomfywriter]

on this fine day I ask of thee: what would it take to give Hilbert a redemption arc? How would others react?

hi hello this is a very heavy ask for how delirious i currently am. yikes forever, let's see how coherently i respond.

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's original ending [prev draft lore + headcanons]:

okay i'm going to yamble for a bit about the original (ogog draft) ending for tov+sai, originally called dragon adventure, because i think it's relevant to this question.

originally, hilbert's entire character arc WAS a redemption arc. the first chapter was called "the lost hero," and the reason why hilbert had sought alan out was because he was the only person who truly believed hilbert was capable of redemption. alan's entire "forgiveness to all" ideology was based on the idea that anyone was capable of overcoming their past by putting in the effort to redeem themselves from the damage inflicted onto others from their sins. that's why he invests so much into hilbert, and why hilbert strives to prove alan right. no one had ever had unshakeable faith in him like alan did before. he was hilbert's new moral compass, and the reason why hilbert called alan "erevana."

throughout the entire ogog draft, you read the book strictly through alan's pov (except the first chapter which is hilbert's), and you watch him grow emotionally attached to hilbert, especially since the stronger their bond got, the more hilbert was changing.

he was becoming kinder, especially to caramel. he got a real job. started helping around the community. tried to right his wrongs however he could, no matter how humiliating. and it made the theme of the story lean towards "redemption is possible" for the entire journey.

but then the warehouse scene happens, and for a brief moment, when caramel accidentally hurts alan while trying to protect him, you see hilbert's entire demeanor change. when he thought alan's life was in danger, he snapped and became vile again. it was only for a brief moment, and the moment alan had gotten better, he apologized to both of them for his sudden regression, and even bowed. and alan is convinced the stress of the situation caused a lapse in character, just for a brief moment.

that is, until the climax happens. the second incident starts, and rather than fulfil his promised duty like he had sworn to alan he would, hilbert tries to run away again.

once more, he prioritized his own safety over soilaila's. once more, he abandoned everyone to let them rot. and once more, when confronted about it, the vileness of his character broke the facade that was alan's unreliable narration, as he finally realizes that hilbert had never changed--he had just hidden himself in plain sight. he was irredeemable because he was rotten to the core. and in that moment, after the rosiness leaves his vision, alan's entire ideology around forgiveness and redemption changes, as he adopts the new idea that, "once a sinner, always a sinner." once a change had occurred, it was irreversible. and that is why, once alan crosses a line during the second incident to save everyone's life, he accepts that momentary unethical part of himself as a character change, and succumbs to it. he believes he is incapable to reverting back to who he was before that change, and thus, adopts a new fragmented identity of himself and his morality.

--

i know that wasn't the ask, but my point of bringing up the original ending is to illustrate how no matter what version of tov i write, hilbert will never have a redemption arc. because no part of hilbert is genuine enough to have a redemption arc. the only way for that to be possible is if the core part of his identity was not him anymore, in which case, i would be creating a new character capable of growing. if we are taking about hilbert limious as every draft has ever known him, this man is irredeemable, because he doesn't see himself as needing redemption. no matter how rotten he is, if he is powerful, then he is proud.

thanks for the ask, wyked!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[o-sachi]

─── A Letter for @i-am-so-strange ✦

If you have received this, it means you signed up for Sachi's Selfship Event !

ATE JEIIIII. You're one of my bestest friends on this platform and I absolutely adore the fics/analyses that you make. You don't know how much I love our questionable thirsting threads. They make me giggle and kick my feet. TO MORE THREADS!! Anw, thank you for requesting!

✉️ Attachment: A special request???

Surprise. It's a normal matchup.

Okay, maybe this wasn't what you were expecting, but Barou just popped into my mind as I was reading the info you gave me. (Spoiler: it's not just because you both like cleaning and consider it a hobby lolol).

To preface things, I genuinely find Barou to be like the best potential boyfriend out of the bunch. I know he seems rough around the edges, but he's a completely different person to his s/o. He's a lot softer and kinder to them.

You complement each other in a way that your bad traits slightly mirror his and your good traits are almost the same. Does that mean it exacerbates the bad traits? Not really. But it does help you understand each other better and it helps avoid you from projecting it on to each other (everyone else though, not so safe haha).

Like you don't even bat an eye at each other if either of you say something a little too blunt or harsh. It's just another Tuesday for the both of you.

I feel like y'all would judge people together (HAHAHAHA)

You two debate a lot about a variety of things. Even ordinary arguments about your relationship start sounding like a debate... Part of him NEEDS to win, but another is really into how you articulate yourself (secretly simping).

As a person who isn't afraid of speaking his mind, Barou admires the same trait on you. He loves a woman who is brave enough to stand up for herself or do what is right. Not a lot of people can do what you do.

Doesn't compliment much, but he will definitely compliment you for your courage and independence. He needs that in a partner.

Barou most definitely likes smart people. Intelligence is a strength of its own. He just loves your brain; he loves the ideas and thoughts that it comes up with. He also thinks that your job is cool. He doesn't know anything about law, but he'll pretend to understand and nod as you explain things to him.

He liiiiiikes it when you play the piano for him.

You enjoy cooking and cleaning together (wow domestic bliss?!?! HAHAHHA). You do it very systematically too. Not that you explicitly talked about it, but it kinda happened on its own. That pretty much sums up a lot about your relationship—systematic.

You like trying new food together, whether by buying it somewhere else or trying out a new recipe.

He subtly supports your hobbies by buying you books or figures. Most of the time though, he listens to your rants. You know he's listening because he asks relevant questions.

He genuinely thinks listening and giving your full attention to the other person is a sign of respect. And he respects you. So, if you're talking, all his attention is on you.

I feel like he has a strong tolerance for alcohol, so if you do decide to get drunk, he can easily take care of you. Sure, he'll grumble a bit, but he's surely doing it out of love <3

He'll agree to play games with you as long as you go bowling with him. He won't go easy, but at least he has someone to play with.

He doesn't mind driving long stretches. It's quite calming for him and with you as his passenger princess, he can listen to you speak even more.

You two travel a lot and he (reluctantly) agrees to be the model in your photos. He prefers that you two take photos together, but sure, if you insist.

You two have the exact same dislikes, especially being disorganized. It makes him feel queasy to see a messy place or have his tasks all over the place.

Although, I feel like he's good with kids (yk cuz his sisters). So he makes up for the fact that you don't like 'em.

You two plan things together so well. Like I said—organized and systematic. Dates and travels are so easy when both of you are working on the logistics and whatnot.

I'm not making this up but I genuinely saw Barou as the type of guy who likes the simple look on women (he's the type of guy that says natural is better and would complain about makeup...) So he really loves how laid-back and classy you look.

HE DIGS THE CORPORATE STYLE.

You two already spend a lot of time together. He can only stand you, honestly. He'd rather be alone completely or be with you. No in between.

You can expect sooooooo many acts of service from this man, mostly the domestic stuff—cooking, cleaning, taking care of you when you're sick. If you ask him to come over, he'll do his absolute best to get there asap. If you ask him for a favor, he'll do it without a second thought.

He's so whipped for you, but will never admit it out loud.

His gifts usually come in the form of food or clothing... or something really practical. Perhaps the only "non-practical" thing he'd give you is a bouquet of flowers.

Waaaa idk I got a lot of inspiration writing Barou for you. LIKE IT FITS SO WELL???

Thank you for participating. I hope you like it :3

Want to participate? Give this a read.

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

[divinekangaroo]

Everyone in here seems to be so cool with this news except me LOL. I'm so gutted Lizzies character arc is over in canon. A lot saw it coming by the looks of it except me, I thought it was definitely left unfinished with all the promises and closeness they shared. Haiz. I read it all wrong perhaps.

I know you have plans to write post S6 among other things, like divorced Lizzie with Charlie, Honeymoon etc. etc. You also said you will wait for the movie to write some of them. Will any of the WIPs be effected/plans change with knowing T/L fate in canon?

This is an ask to make myself feel better if you can't tell XD. Thanks!

Heh: the fanfic brain says it would be pleased if Lizzie and Arthur aren't in the movie because that's most of what I want to look at post S6. I don’t usually get into fanficcing for a media unless the media is finished, because I always feel I need to see what the shape of the Canon Thing is to work out where I want to play/extend etc. I genuinely thought PB was done before I decided to write the Thing, or I doubt I would’ve started to write. Over time the movie was making the fanfic part of me increasingly irrationally anxious XD.

Every further movie announcement makes it sound like something further and further from s5 and s6, a fairly clean break and almost a new thing. So I do feel released/able to play with that post s6 space more, because I’m assuming there’ll be just another peaky-style time skip and we’ll be left to decide for ourselves what happened in between. Which is, ironically, where a lot of the Tommy Lizzie dynamic lives anyway - the offscreen spaces is when their relationship happens, what we see on screen shows Things Happened Since Last Time but what exactly is left to the imagination. A silence in the movie isn’t necessarily a nullification of what happened previously, it’s just that whatever happened isn’t relevant to the slice of life currently on show. Out of frame etc. (though, i assume Tommy will heavily carry the emotional consequences of prior events forward, as he always does)

And I’d always assumed t and l would never get back together in any traditional sense of marriage or domestic HEA - my post-show headcanon as it’s evolved over time sees them drift together and apart over various instances and times with meaning, but no dependence/obligation or imposed societal structure. So either of them having other love interests also doesn’t bother me.

I have yet to work out if this easing means I feel like getting back into those parked stories you mentioned any earlier than the movie or not…one is all Lizzie and Arthur funnily enough…but I am so slammed by combo work and study and family things my brain feels itchy with irritation (worst feeling) so I’m avoiding putting too much deep thinking on at the moment.

Sorry i can’t help with much comfort or fic offerings! But yeah I think the way pb does time skips will leave it up to the audience to work out what happened, and that’s always been so much more interesting to my fanfic brain than being told. Maybe some comfort in that?

[not-poignant]

Hi! I've spent this whole week binge-reading all of the Underline the Rainbow series and I'm obsessed. Thank You for creating this incredible world!

Sorry if these are questions you've answered before somewhere but I'm really curious about female Omegas and Alphas, especially in relation to Hillview's sister-site that was mentioned briefly.

Firstly, seeing as knotting and penetration are a big part of how Omegas manage heats, does this mean that female Alphas aren't able to consummate heats effectively? (If so, I imagine this would be a big source of insecurity for female Alphas who are attracted to Omegas!) Are female Alphas still able to create claim bonds?

I was also wondering what the reasoning is between having the different sites be segregated by primary sex in this way. Why was the decision made to have a separate sister-site specifically for female Omegas instead of having Hillview accept all Omegas regardless of primary sex?

Hallooooo!

I'm so so glad you're enjoying the series! :D

So, when it comes to women alphas and alphas who have uteruses, I am actually undecided on if they also have pseudococks or not at this point, but we do know from the worldbuilding that we absolutely don't need knotting or penetration to actually solve a heat.

The thing that matters most is an alpha's pheromones - and this is actually seen literally within Underline the Black, when Gary's closeness, his saliva, his pheromones, are the thing that resolves Efnisien's agonising, corrupted heat. So we've seen 'don't need knotting or penetration to solve a heat' actually play out within the story.

Temsen makes it very clear that if Gary had provided solid closeness, touch, and intervention earlier, Efnisien would never have needed to go through so much pain.

We also see in Underline the Blue that where Nate assumes he'll need a lot more penetration and knotting to get through his heat, Janusz demonstrates that a lot of the time he just needs closeness and pheromones, towards the end getting Nate to scent him, which calms him down better than a knot and actually finishes his heat much faster. So while the knotting in that circumstance absolutely helped, it was the pheromones that soothed and ended the heat the fastest.

In fact Nate will have to unlearn the idea that 'lots of penetrative sex and knotting' is what solves a heat, this is what Christian brainwashed him to believe. Janusz is already demonstrating that closeness, genuine intimacy, trust and safety, and the right pheromones, go a really long way to making heats pass as smoothly as possible. (The semen helps a lot, but that can be ingested, and applies in other ways, and likewise, alpha women secretions can be the same).

I'm certain that when it comes to most f/f pairings etc. the same thing applies regardless of what's going on between their legs (it is common in many omegaverse stories for women alphas to also have cocks or pseudococks and knots / pseudoknots. Since this isn't relevant at all for me in Underline I've never really sat down and kind of made it official either way, but we do know that all alphas can resolve a heat for an omega without knotting/penetration. I'm pretty certain women alphas / alphas with uteruses have zero insecurities re: bonding with omegas, or helping them through their heats. They'd have more insecurity over the fact that it's extremely hard for them to get pregnant.

In fact, if resolving a heat was as easy as knotting/penetration and had nothing to do with pheromones, omegas could resolve their own heats without needing alphas at all, and they could just use sex toys and knotting dildos, and this world doesn't work that way. Though other omegaverse worlds do.)

Are female Alphas still able to create claim bonds?

Women alphas and alphas with uteruses have literally no reason why they couldn't! It has nothing to do with genitalia and everything to do with alpha pheromones, just being alphas means they have the right pheromones to create claim bonds.

I was also wondering what the reasoning is between having the different sites be segregated by primary sex in this way.

In a word: Pregnancy.

Alphas and omegas are hyperfertile with one another. It's pregnancy. The risk is just too high. There are no ORFs on the planet - both the decent ones and the dystopian ones, that allow for mixed sex pairings because the pregnancy risk is just too high. Condoms aren't built to handle like...the semen load / repeated knotting etc. and have an extremely high fail rate and there's no contraception that works reliably for omegas in general (this is actually also why many alpha/omega pairings are same sex in general).

But yeah it's not very professional to send your partner to a rehabilitation facility and then have them get repeatedly pregnant while there, so instead all ORFs deal with the pregnancy risk this way instead, and that way there's absolutely zero risk of this happening. This is also why all the other attending staff at Hillview who are alphas are also male (like Temsen and Dr Gary), to completely erase the risk. (They don't worry about betas because they just...don't, lmao (that's good old beta bigotry)).

I hope that helps :D

[drdemonprince]

a lot of times i feel like i need aftercare after just masturbating because i end up Going There in my thoughts in order to come. do you experience this too? if so, other than finding a human to talk to afterwards, do you have advice on this?

I do experience this! Because what I am into is very intense and heady, I often feel really weird and dysregulated after jacking off and do something in the way of aftercare.

The first thing I do, truth be told, is remove myself from whatever screens I was using, take any gear or restraints or clothing off, and then pace around the house for a few minutes talking to myself, going "Ugh!!! Ugh!!" or "what the fuck! what the fuck was that!" or "that was a good one god damn" or "wow im so fucking insane" or narrating out the end of whatever scenario i was locked into. or even repeating mantras relevant to what i was just doing. it really helps me to verbalize whatever im feeling in that moment, to mentally offload excess energy and begin to gear shift.

then i stand naked in the kitchen for a while drinking a cold glass of water and begin talking to myself more in the way i usually do when im not in a headspace. this usually involves hyping myself up into tackling the next objective for the day. so ill say things like "okay, now we need to vaccuum the carpet and THEN we will lay out an outfit for the party later" or "its time to get out of the house and get some sunshine, man" or "shit we forgot to send that email".

then, if nothing on the agenda for the day is too urgent, i'll usually curl up like a goblin with some snacks and a youtube video. aldi spicy salmis and brie cheese and nick diramio clip breakdown videos are favorite staples. cereal and mike mgtv's videos about bartending and queer bar culture are fun, frothy distractions too. if it's night time ill also curl up in a fuzzy blanket and maybe a stuffed toy.

i also sometimes like to wake my brain back up by reading something mildly intellectually stimulating but concrete, and not *too* demanding of long attention. something kind of practical and grounded and nonsexual. so like, ill scroll the r/amateurinteriordesign page on reddit or r/vanlife to look at the various homes people have made in small spaces, or ill check my favorite investment blog. nothing too heady or abstract.

after ive cooled down for a bit, like an hour or something, then ill be ready to put clothing on and maybe act like a human. a walk outdoors also helps once im not jittery or dissociated. but i find i dont want to engage with anybody or have to pretend to be a person until ive had adequate time to down regulate and savor the headspace i was in.

thanks for asking this question anon, i thought i might be unusual for being like this so it's nice to hear someone else goes through this too. honestly the recovery time and the fact a need for it exists is a big part of the fun! it helps reveal just how genuinely intense the experience and headspace actually was.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

i keep telling myself to quit checking up on KM spaces cause there’s literally nothing but bickering and going out of the way to find things to be mad at but I keep ending up coming back 😓 it’s so hard, I still think about them a lot and I generally enjoy doing so! They make me happy to think about, genuinely. it’s been a force of habit for so long but the vibe with no new content (I try and avoid military updates but they waft into my view every so often and I’m glad they seem to be doing ok at least) is just so nasty it’s just like can’t everyone just relax and be happy knowing they’re together??? Obviously I am the problem here and I need to stop but it’s a struggle….do I need to just go completely cold turkey on bangtan? 😂 is that what you did when you took a long break? It’s not like I don’t have hobbies and a job and stuff, but for a long time they’ve occupied a special nice place where I just think of them and generally enjoy reading people’s thoughts about them, but over the past year especially w the solo stuff it’s just gotten kinda rancid

Hello, anon

I understand you completely. If something has become part of your daily routine, on top of other activities and interests, it's normal to get the urge to check up on it. Cold turkey might not help because it increases the chances of going back to it. I'm going through the same thing nowadays. I'm aware that right now, there's barely any point in keeping up with that part of my interests online. KM have enlisted and despite seeing some military updates, I'm not excitedly/anxiously looking forward to it. Like you, I think it's nice to see that they appear fine, but personally I could live without those updates as well. Consequently, I barely discuss it even on my blog, I don't find it necessary.

Most likely, the upcoming show will be the only relevant content that makes me still keep an eye on them right now and that's because the announcement might drop at any time. By not knowing exactly when, it's enough to keep at least a part of the fandom waiting and participating online. Not a bad strategy, but a frustrating one for us.

Likewise, by still checking up tumblr/twitter, I'm also exposing myself to daily fights, endless debates on relationship dynamics and so on. I find it pointless and I'd say a sign of boredom if this wasn't the modus operandi of the fandom anyway.

I made a vague comment recently, but it is terribly annoying having to read left and right troll anons baiting bloggers who then are bringing receipts to demonstrate that KM are close. Really? We're still doing that in 2024? People are talking in circles to demonstrate something that doesn't need more proving. Twitter is worse because they fight like idiots under the guise of defending. The knights in shining armour fighting for the princesses.

As to solo stans, I don't have an issue with the idea of only liking an artist and that's it. If only that would be the full definition. Anyone acting like not only a fanatic, but writing like some miserable 4chan user is someone I really can't stand. It's slowly becoming standard stan behavior and I see this in other fandoms as well, including those of western artists. It's nasty and embarassing.

When I took a break, I unfollowed almost all KM and JM focused accounts. The ones remaining I muted so I had to go to my following list and check each individually if I wanted to see what was up. My point was to not have any of that on my timeline. I think it worked for a while. Now I'm back to how it was before and I don't know how that happened. I should make some changes again.

[dreamingofmuses]

New Year's Resolutions: RP Edition

Howdy all, Ash here. I've been having a think while with family this week, and I've decided I'm going to implement some new 'resolutions' to try and help make writing in 2024 be way more successful than in 2023. This will include things from the running of blogs to jobs I really want to get finished. I'm putting them under a read-more to keep the dash nice and clean.

I will say, this has taken me an hour to write up, and I'd recommend you doing likewise if you think there's little ways you want to improve.

-

Overall Running of Blogs

I'm going to experiment a new approach to running the blogs. For this, I'm going to put all active blogs to low-medium activity. In other words, even if I am personally lurking on mobile, I won't be constantly writing things if I'm not able to. (Work is just about to get super busy and I'm anticipating chaos)

A queue/schedule function will be used for all blogs. I intend to dedicate one weekday evening to working without interruption on replies. Taking commutes to the city and family visits into account, this is looking to be a Thursday, which is the only day I am neither travelling to the city nor have a guaranteed family visit. Of course, this may fluctuate, but that's what I'm hoping to work with, assuming those things stay as they are.

However! What all this means is that I am going to tentatively take skullandbowties off hiatus. With that blog being quiet, it should be possible to juggle it better now. Plus, it's officially off-season so the demand for him from new blogs ought to be low. I'm very smart :D

I also plan to update all pinned posts. I am aware some of them are marking a vacation from months ago.

Individual Blog Maintenance

Create "New Here?" posts to add to the pinned posts/info tags. This is going to be a very quick crash course on what to expect from the blog, especially where some characters might diverge from fanon expectations.

FINISH. WILF'S. BIO. It's not actually relevant to anything being written on the blog itself at present, but I really want to flesh out his character and show that he was stuck in stories for years, decades even! The doc has the word count to 4,888 at this precise moment. This is a mix of summary and brainstorm. Since it's getting a 'little' out of hand, I intend to have a 'tldr' at the start that people can read, and then longer versions if they're curious to get the full story. Maybe even have it that they can jump to particular parts but... I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Likewise, Noah's version of Space needs to be finished. This one is going to be a summary, but it's a case of making sure the pieces are in place sufficiently to have parts match canon Space, but also make it clear that there is a lot of differences between canon and what he went through, with his plot entirely spiralling away for 'Part 2'. This is at 5,794 words, and the ending has yet to be ironed out...

(I am going to stop creating needlessly long-winded projects for myself that realistically add nothing of value to my blogs. These two projects are exhausting...)

Theauthorlives is returning to a very small multimuse. Any muses that aren't ones I genuinely enjoy writing are being fully archived, unless they are muses that get no traction but I want to keep the possibility open. Details of that will be shared when I do this.

Redo some muse icons (not all of them!). Though the selection I have for particular sets is a lot, I still feel like I'm missing some expressions or poses. I would like to remake one batch of icons for three characters, and finish iconning a third. Replies seem to be shifting toward iconless, but I like them for asks or IC commentaries.

OOC/Mun Related stuff

Following matters that have happened both online and IRL, I've decided to take a step back from actively engaging with people. My focus will be people that I have been in good communication with for the last twelve months (as well as people I don't talk to frequently but am on friendly terms with) rather than people I feel I have to 'chase' after. Saying that, I'm going to try and not let past experiences meddle with anything in with new writing partners - whether these are brand new to the community or people I've not had the chance to properly interact with prior to this. Just be aware that I might not be super outgoing at first. (This is where setting limits and boundaries is good practice, everyone! Don't sell yourself short, and don't spread yourself out too thinly!)

Which is where I now say I want to send even more asks! Not just memes or sentence starters, but general questions about headcanons or muse opinions. I want to get people thinking more.

My stance on Discord still stands, in that it's solely for OOC stuff, but I'm not giving it out to everyone. However, I have been in two group servers that have little-to-no connection with writing rp threads in them. I would hope that I can fully regain my sense of comfort using Discord as a whole.

Art related

Despite socially stepping back, I still want to keep some semblance of 'community' where my blogs are active so people don't feel isolated. For instance, I want to do something that encourages invasions of ask boxes. That was good fun to watch as the chaos began to spread, and when people are good-humoured to go along with my silly ideas.

I want to have one huge art-related event at some point this year. I'm not entirely what or how to do it, but I think it would be a great excuse to practice something. Portraits, comics, something like that. I'll have a think. (For those who remember, the water gun event was supposed to have an art conclusion but plans for that fell through.)

I want to try and upload drawn responses to heythereneighbor once a week if I can. Obviously, this is depending on how busy it is.

I'd also like to try doodling more on other blogs? But I'm not sure if this is even something people want to see anymore. People might prefer I focus on writing if I have free time instead of doodles or little comics.

... the writing blog. I need to do stuff with that in general. Whoops.

Finally, I want to do what I can to the best of my abilities on a particular day. I've always told people over the years that real life comes before rp, and I still stand by that. Whether I'm around or not every day isn't the end of the world. The communities I write in are a lot slower paced than they were when I started, which is great! I need to remind myself that I don't need to be writing just because I have a bit of free time.