#hilbert from tov

[thecomfywriter]

Why do you think Hilbert has so many simps?

okay! welcome to hilbert day! starting it off with a fun one. hi sol! thanks for the ask! let's get straight into it!

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's peculiar fanbase [no spoilers]:

this is goofy because i think i actually know the reason why (unlike morreial). there are a couple of reasons i've picked up on for why hilbert has "simps".

(1) he's an interesting character:

i feel like this is the biggest factor, but i might be wrong. hilbert as a person might suck ass, but as a character, functionally for the narrative, he's FASCINATING. bro is mysterious. he's a villain, sure, but he's conflicting because in his pov, he's almost persuasive. not only towards alan, but (as i have experienced it) towards the reader as well. i feel like while reading hilbert's chapters, i found myself liking him more and justifying his existence in the story. he might be rotten to the core, but the guy exudes presence and a certain level of charisma that keeps him intriguing and entertaining.

plus, there's the entire desire to figure out what he's actually like. what is his true face? how does he look when he's not manipulating someone? who was he before the plot started? a big part of hilbert's character is the uncertainty behind his lore, which kinsa incites people to figuring him out. you almost want to make a definitive opinion about him, but each pov represents him in such conflicting ways, its hard to set your mind on if he's actually a good person or not. alan is deadset on believing hilbert has changed and wants to redeem himself. caramel refuses to even entertain the idea. morreial is just pissy at him, and cara has an odd sense of neutrality and fondness. soilaila hates him enough to try and mob him on the first day, but no one is actually arresting him for some reason. even without his limious status, he seems to hold the most power in this situation, and it begs the question why and how.

(2) bro was a dilf:

I KNOW THIS ANSWER IS WAY MORE UNSERIOUS THAN THE LAST ONE. LMAO. HEAR ME OUT.

hilbert in his prime is the entire reason why i personally started to feel conflicted about him. apart from being gorgeous (bruh... the luscious silver hair, the battle scars over his muscular body, the striking baby blue eyes, the slightly blushed cheeks and his maleficent smile? bye-- i had no business making him that majestic 😭😭), he also had this glory to him. there was a slight arrogance, but it almost felt like he deserved it. bro held the limious title for SIXTY YEARS. he went from being a nobody earth-elemental to one of the most powerful people in soilaila. he rose the ranks, got knighted by von doro herself, and became markum's biggest rival. he has this esteem to him that is simultaneously commanding and hot as balls.

THERE. I SAID IT. ARE YOU HAPPY?

all of hilbert's young chapters in sai just had me simping in the comments of the annotated draft LOL. i was so far gone it was embarrassing.

(3) the narrative:

the narrative purposefully tricks the audience a lot of the time, mainly because alan has the most chapters, and he sees hilbert in this truly respectable light. paired with how much magic hilbert knows, there's a certain degree of fascination to him that is naturally developed over the course of the book.

--

again, i could be totally wrong about all of these. for all we know, it was that one hilbert edit and the fact that bro has a v-line of the gods that caused him to develop his fanbase. you'd have to ask them. but these are personally my reasons for being on the fence with this guy. as i said previously, he's rotten to the core, but my god is he fascinating.

thanks for the ask, sol!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

How would Hilbert react if I gave him a snickers

this is so silly goofy lol. half the asks for hilbert day are just gaffs and it's honestly hilarious. let me answer this way too seriously lol.

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's reaction to modern day delectables [no spoilers]:

okay so, per lore, hilbert's diet consisted of primarily fruits, vegetables, and hearty vegetables, with plant-based proteins since he was of the purists in soilailan society that considered the consumption of meat as "monstrous" and "animalistic" because of the semblance it carried to dragons. as a result, i feel like the modern american diet would give him an aneurysm.

mcdonalds as a whole would send him on an impassioned monologue about the blithe of society and the regressive tendencies humans carried in their woeful nature, and then compare them to cairoyas to explain how "our abstinence from such monstrosities is why we carry the light of yozar within us. not even the war commander of the gods would have reckoned with such pitiful platters."

bro was so extra for no reason lol.

he'd probably carry the same sentiments about a snickers bar. it would enrage him for NO good reason. he'd see it as an insult to offer something so, "destitute of nutrition and purposeless for the consumption of the soul and body." as you can tell, bro is an almond-mom to the bone, and he'd see anything sugary like chocolate as an insult to his limious status.

"bah! do you truly consider me so simpleminded, foolish child, that i would indulge in the temptations of the cane snakes? the intoxications of the soul masquerade in different forms, but all my eyes have been sharpened towards wisdom. you cannot harken a fool out of me, to have me indulge in such pitiful attempts of joyless delicacies. tell me, fruitless child--have you ever tasted the ambrosia of the gods? the ichor of their golden blood flows within the natural currents of this earth. why would a man such as i, who has taken seat at the zaverena's throne room--why would i entertain anything less than ambrosia? my lips have tasted more finer tarts that your feeble snickers only evoke pity from me. present me a platter worth feasting upon from the sight alone, and i shall take a chair to dine. but do not insult me with your horridities. my answer shall be my blade, next time."

--

that being said, if bro was old, haggardly, and starving like he is in tov, he would wolf i done like a freakin dog and not even thank you for the sweet.

thanks for the ask, ain!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

Alright….sigh..here we go…checks notes

Did Hilbert ever love Caramel.

—

I remember you saying how being cruel and manipulative had to become second nature to be a limious, but before that…

Where did it begin? When compared to Alan’s character arch, did he have a similar “fall”, was it always going to happen? Would he be happy without being a limious? And does it have anything to do with this mysterious lover I keep hearing about..?

But most importantly, was Caramel ever more than a tool?

okay! finally finishing hilbert day oops. this is such an interesting ask. let's get straight into it.

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's love for caramel [tov and sai spoilers]:

okay this is a multiparter so i'll answer this in sections. starting with his relationship with caramel:

(1) Did Hilbert ever love Caramel.

that's complicated.

once again, hilbert's genuine feelings towards everyone is unknown. however, i'll indulge you a little bit and answer what little i know about their relationship pre-tov, considering i have author privileges.

caramel was the closest thing hilbert ever had to a daughter. so in some twisted way, althought he mainly calls her "child" to piss her off, it wouldn't be far off to say some deeper part of him truly was attached to and cared for caramel. he was a terrible father, without a doubt, and he truly was bitter and horrible down to the bone. however, if you were to ask him if he ever loved caramel, he would say no, but he was proud of making her as good as she was today.

(2) Being cruel and manipulative had to become second nature to be a Limious, but before that… Where did it begin?

i actually don't ever remember saying this LMAO L on my behalf. my horrible memory strikes again. whenever i said that, allow me to clarify my previous miswording to accurately convey the burdens of being a limious.

alan's infamous (and i'm talking his most notable in BOTH books) monologue is called, 'Hindsight is a cruel power' monologue. i'll copy it down below for reference and highlight the portions i'm going to be using to clarify my previous point.

“Hindsight is a cruel power. If I may relay anything to you now, as I describe my story from the memories that haunt me, it is endless rage and frustration that arises within me. For, at every turn of the way, I had yet another person warn me of his malevolence. Belittle me for my naivety. Yet what did I do about it? Fell into the inevitability that was my fate. Blaming fate would be easy, in truth, for it removes the blame off my person. But if we speak in truth, then the truth says only one thing: I should have known better. Better than to make a blood oath. Better than to stick by it. Better than to commit all my mistakes in secret. I should have known better, been better, listened more. For Morreial was not speaking in vain when he warned me of this curse. To be a Limious is to wear gloves of scarlet and ice. I did not see its harm because I did not realize those gloves would never come off. I should have listened. But I cannot change the past. Only grieve it.” - Alan in narration (‘Hindsight is a cruel power’ monologue), Chapter 25

becoming a limious doesn't necessarily turn a person into cruel and manipulative person. 90% of the limiouses didn't become that way. that was just hilbert, and whomever hilbert mentored (aka alan and caramel). but it does force a person to become capable of losing themself in that way. there are unspeakable lengths a limious has to be capable of going to for the sake of soilaila. for some people, they die in the process, but those who survive usually morph into what hilbert had become.

when it comes to the precise turning point of hilbert, it is undefined for a reason--we don't know, and we never find out. who hilbert was before he became a limious is just as undefined as the type of limious he aspired to be. hilbert as a sane and noble limious, as 'the noble child' he calls alan, is forever left as an unknown, because the point in which he changed, or whatever had caused him to change, is never detailed to the audience. you're left to wonder if he had reached a breaking point, just as alan had, or if the nature of the job itself--the glory of the power, and the magic he had gained--if those forces had corrupted him instead.

(3) When compared to Alan’s character arch, did he have a similar “fall”, was it always going to happen?

alan and hilbert are meant to be parallels to each other. in all the ways hilbert's lore and arc is undefined, the parallels to alan are supposed to fill those gaps. by that assumption--yes, he did have a similar fall. but what caused that fall, what edge he fell from, what his breaking point was, how inevitable it was compared to alan... these are things we never find out.

(4) Would he be happy without being a limious?

if hilbert had never become a limious, he might have been sane and 'happy' in a more typical manner, but not truly. he wouldn't have been satisfied, because he wouldn't have succeeded for what he strove for. hilbert set out to be a limious. if he had never become one, sure, he wouldn't have become the miserable excuse of space that he is in tov, but he wouldn't have been happy either, because he would have never fulfilled his life's greatest ambition.

(5) And does it have anything to do with this mysterious lover I keep hearing about..?

your theory isn't far off, but i also can't confirm or deny anything, because i have chosen to keep myself in the dark about this as well, despite being the author. i don't know the extent to which eden, her lore, and the end of their relationship played on hilbert's downfall. it's funny you say this though, because i actually went on a 30 minutes mockcast episode asking all the same questions you ask me now.

the truth is, i don't know. and i don't think i ever will, because i will never write canon lore for all these unanswered questions. keeping hilbert a mystery from myself is what makes him, in my opinion, the best character i have ever written.

--

thanks for all the questions, smihi! and sorry it took me so long :((

happy writing! cheers!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

What would happen if I chucked a tangerine at Hilbert's head?

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's reaction to a tangerine attack [no spoilers]:

he would crush the tangerine in his hand, spray the acid in your eyes, and then go on however long of a hunt it took to chase you down and slice you up into fragments for the insult.

bro doesn't take kindly to insult or injury. and he'd consider your attack both.

just look at his reaction to cara stealing a book from him. bro went for the KILL. because she borrowed a BOOK FROM HIM.

it's chapter 24, if you're curious. i'm not even joking when i say bro caught 3 bodies that day, and he would've caught 4 if cara wasn't as lethal and secretly psychotic as she is.

thanks for the ask, ain!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

For the fifth day of askmas! How would the story change if I gave Hilbert a shotgun?

this is so silly i love it.

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert with a shotgun [no spoilers]:

honestly? not much would change. bro would probably just be more efficient with killing dragons, but honestly... he was doing just fine with his regular degular spears and arcanic weapons, so i'm not sure how big the change would be.

that being said! he probably would have committed a lot more homicides because for some reason, i imagine the non-magical component of the technology would mean you couldn't use artist eyes to figure out whose magic it was, and therefore bro would essentially get away with it easier.

wild west headcanon of hilbert and markum having a shootout. what a blast.

thanks for the ask, ilia!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

on this fine day I ask of thee: what would it take to give Hilbert a redemption arc? How would others react?

hi hello this is a very heavy ask for how delirious i currently am. yikes forever, let's see how coherently i respond.

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's original ending [prev draft lore + headcanons]:

okay i'm going to yamble for a bit about the original (ogog draft) ending for tov+sai, originally called dragon adventure, because i think it's relevant to this question.

originally, hilbert's entire character arc WAS a redemption arc. the first chapter was called "the lost hero," and the reason why hilbert had sought alan out was because he was the only person who truly believed hilbert was capable of redemption. alan's entire "forgiveness to all" ideology was based on the idea that anyone was capable of overcoming their past by putting in the effort to redeem themselves from the damage inflicted onto others from their sins. that's why he invests so much into hilbert, and why hilbert strives to prove alan right. no one had ever had unshakeable faith in him like alan did before. he was hilbert's new moral compass, and the reason why hilbert called alan "erevana."

throughout the entire ogog draft, you read the book strictly through alan's pov (except the first chapter which is hilbert's), and you watch him grow emotionally attached to hilbert, especially since the stronger their bond got, the more hilbert was changing.

he was becoming kinder, especially to caramel. he got a real job. started helping around the community. tried to right his wrongs however he could, no matter how humiliating. and it made the theme of the story lean towards "redemption is possible" for the entire journey.

but then the warehouse scene happens, and for a brief moment, when caramel accidentally hurts alan while trying to protect him, you see hilbert's entire demeanor change. when he thought alan's life was in danger, he snapped and became vile again. it was only for a brief moment, and the moment alan had gotten better, he apologized to both of them for his sudden regression, and even bowed. and alan is convinced the stress of the situation caused a lapse in character, just for a brief moment.

that is, until the climax happens. the second incident starts, and rather than fulfil his promised duty like he had sworn to alan he would, hilbert tries to run away again.

once more, he prioritized his own safety over soilaila's. once more, he abandoned everyone to let them rot. and once more, when confronted about it, the vileness of his character broke the facade that was alan's unreliable narration, as he finally realizes that hilbert had never changed--he had just hidden himself in plain sight. he was irredeemable because he was rotten to the core. and in that moment, after the rosiness leaves his vision, alan's entire ideology around forgiveness and redemption changes, as he adopts the new idea that, "once a sinner, always a sinner." once a change had occurred, it was irreversible. and that is why, once alan crosses a line during the second incident to save everyone's life, he accepts that momentary unethical part of himself as a character change, and succumbs to it. he believes he is incapable to reverting back to who he was before that change, and thus, adopts a new fragmented identity of himself and his morality.

--

i know that wasn't the ask, but my point of bringing up the original ending is to illustrate how no matter what version of tov i write, hilbert will never have a redemption arc. because no part of hilbert is genuine enough to have a redemption arc. the only way for that to be possible is if the core part of his identity was not him anymore, in which case, i would be creating a new character capable of growing. if we are taking about hilbert limious as every draft has ever known him, this man is irredeemable, because he doesn't see himself as needing redemption. no matter how rotten he is, if he is powerful, then he is proud.

thanks for the ask, wyked!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

Okay okay we’re being silly now

What Hilbert’s getting for Christmas

-

What holiday is his favorite?

coal.

i'm not even gonna format this properly. this man is getting curses and coal. c^2.

thanks for the ask, smihi!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

Hilbert day!

Here to request some of this man’s backstory. It feels like we get only the small snippets he wants to tell us about but there are so many years where we don’t have a clue what Hilbert was up to. (Maybe intentional??)

So my question is can we have some more about his past specifically while he was a limious but before the incident?

hi pae pae!

this is an interesting one. i'm going to jump straight into it because i don't want to waste time. without further ado...

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--the mystery behind hilbert's past [tov and sai spoilers]:

alrighty, so i wanna highlight something you said in your ask, because it's a core part of my answer:

Maybe intentional??

100% intentional.

i've said this before on my blog, but everything about hilbert is shrouded in mystery because nothing about him is genuine. you are never given the "true, objective, unbiased" truth about hilbert, simply because it does not exist. there is no "lore" about hilbert that isn't, to some capacity, tainted by his own skewed interpretation or in how he deceives people and messed with their interpretation. at the end of the day, no one knows who hilbert limious is, because he himself finds power in being unknown.

i'll indulge you slighty, but only slightly, because in giving you lore, i remove the entire purpose of hilbert's character. there aren't a lot of hard, objective facts about the guy, but i will say a couple of things before i do grant you a couple: sai goes into hilbert's past QUITE A BIT. sai, and chapter 19 of tov. chapter 19 of tov is a HUGEEEE character for the plot and all the characters, because it is the chapter where not only hilbert's past is uncovered, but alan's spiral begins.

sai builds on that by having full segments of the narrative (3 chapters, i believe? 2-3 chapters) where alan 'goes back in time' and witnesses hilbert's past through the perspective of markum and jervee iyzela. it's some of my favouriie chapters, i'm not going to lie.

anyways... some hilbert facts for you:

his limious mentor was a man named coze limious, who was known for taking a regular man and making a limious out of him

he is from the elemental family, specifically an earth-elemental

by the time he "debuted in society" as a limious, markum was already high within von doro's leagues

he once "loved" (allegedly, accoridng to him) a woman named eden, who gifted him an iron-rose dagger with their initials carved on the hilt

hilbert's rivalry with markum predates the incident by decades for unknown reasons to anyone except for the two of them (and von doro).

when asked about where eden is now, hilbert responded with, "markum ja reminded me the cost of being a limious" and ended the discussion

when hilbert first debuted as a limious, he had debuted with 16 others. by the end of his career, he was the only one left

hilbert had gained such notoriety, fame, and support from the masses of soilaila, that when von doro tried to revoke his limious title, riots broke out until he was reinstated

the dragon hunts were hilbert's most famous 'accomplishment' and were what helped him receive his cult fanbase

the most famous dragon hilbert had ever killed was the purple dragon that seared the skies, larger than the entire lenoq ring. he had created a mysterious spear of his specialty magic and aimed it directly into the dragon's magic bladder midflight, causing everyone to cheer as the dragon fell to its demise.

note, the last post is a now deleted scene, but it showcased hilbert, at the end of the hunt, capturing the dragons body, climbing atop its body, and riding its back like a chariot as his party of dragon hunters dragged it back to the bazaar, where a live-descaling and declawing event occurred. he would wear the scales of his previous conquests as armour to the next.

anyways. that's all i'm willing to indulge.

thanks for the ask, pae pae! i promise you, you'll like my secrecy better when you read the lore from the actual book itself. i don't want to ruin it.

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

Dilfbert gives the vibes he'd be a really good dance partner but does he actually have the skills?

it's only 8:30pm but travelling has exhausted me for no good reason so let's see how delirious these answers become.

hi slat! thanks for the ask. calling hilbert dilfbert is such a violation to my eyes. anyways, let me get straight into it.

day five of tcw's 12 days of askmas--hilbert's dancing abilities [no spoilers]

alrighty, so you're right with your vibe check. hilbert can definitely get jiggy with it. however, in terms of actually having the "skills" per se, by soilaila's standards, no he doesn't.

considering soilaila has a family called dancers who are literally famed for performing magic through dance, bro doesn't compare to those leagues. however, he is def groovy, and he def knows how to have fun (though his def of fun also includes massacre and violent crimes, but we ignore that minor character flaw to focus on bros disco charlie brown meow meow).

that being said, post-incident, hilbert gained a suspicious degree of different familial abilities. the arcane for starters. bro performs a lot of arcanic magic for someone who is an earth-elemental. and his dancing (if he was allowed to attend the festival of magic) is suddenly extremely wowza kamboom. maybe its the influence of being caramel's mentor for so many years. perhaps something else. who knows....

you would, if you read sai. teehee.

thanks for the ask, slat. i probably wont have any recollection of my answer tomorrow so lets see how much i regret saying this.

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

What meaning does von doro have to you as the author? What insight would you like to share?

OOOO THIS IS INTERESTING. thank you for the ask, wyked! let's dive in!

day six of tcw's 12 days of askmas--the author's analysis of von doro [EXTREME SPOILERS TREAD WITH WARNING I HAVE NO FILTER RIGHT NOW]:

oh boy... i'm going to do one more disclaimer before i actually go on a tangent. it is past 12am, i'm listening to evan's playlist, and my filter is gone so let's see how yamble-y this gets.

DISLAIMER: I AM GOING TO BE GOING ON A TANGENT. BE WARNED FOR SPOILERS !!!

--

we're good? okay cool.

what does von doro mean to me as the author? there are so many ways i can interpret this question: her symbolism, her role in the narrative, the type of character she is, her archetype, her ending... everything. but if i had to summarize it into one word, i'd say this:

tragic.

von doro, in my opinion, is one of the biggest tragedies in the entire duology. more than alan. more than caramel. more than all of them. von doro was born and groomed from the very beginning to inherit a curse, and despite fulfilling her duties perfectly, she never got liberated from it in her lifespan. nothing about von doro's story is fair, to the point where it honestly pisses me off.

the more i think about her, especially the story from her perspective, the more AWFUL i feel for her. she was born for this role. locked away from society and trapped inside the volcano so she couldn't develop any attachments for anything, and she didn't accidentally disregulate her emotions. she had no social life. no forms of happiness. no family. no shot at ANYTHING. she just stayed locked away in the volcano for centuries. all with one task, which was to not let the volcano explode.

the smoke destroyed her lung and voice. the sounds of the gods in her head rattled her brain and made her lose her sense of reality. she forgot her own name at one point. she didn't see the sunset. didn't get to take a breath of fresh air. she didn't even get to see the kingdom she was born to protect. all the while, everyone curses her out as the "beast that threatens us with explosions".

and she does everything without complaint. she takes care of the cairoyas and the dragons. she raises those eggs and watches them from the distant shadows they cast over her den. occassionally, her jervees visit her, but no one ever stays. no one can.

that's why jer'vazir meant so much to her. he stayed. he visited. he helped her remember her name again. he helped her feel for once. and that was dangerous.

and then, the age of limiouses. it was glorious. it was a walk in the park. it was easy. life was getting easier. she was getting closer to liberation.

and then HILBERT.

THIS BRUIBIFNJF.

i can't even begin to describe how much of a villain i see hilbert as. because bro unravelled her entire life with his pride, arrogancy, and "ambition." he literally tore everything apart, brick by brick, piece by piece.

turned soilaila against her. caused riots and a civil war. don't even ask about the other limiouses. hunted down and massacred every single dragon. the last straw was killing the last dragon, then laughing in jer'vazir's face and telling him he did it "proudly".

she broke. the resolve of apathy she had mastered had been slowly crumbling with her new feelings, but the loss of all her dragons completely shattered her. and what was soilaila's response to her grief? to try and assasinate her.

CENTURIES of taking care of them. CENTURIES of protecting them. and the one goddamn time she breaks down, they freakin villainize her???

holy shit--the jervees and jer'vazir were the only people who tried to console her and show her compassion.

AND THEN HILBERT ATTACKS HER.

no wonder she snapped. i would have a long time prior.

AND THAT'S ONLY THE PRE-TOV LORE. HER ENDING UPSETS ME VISCERALLY.

i can't even say the ending of tov makes me happy. every thing that i thought i wanted from the ending just made me feel viscerally upset, dejected, and hollow, because that's the point. by the time you get to the point where you get the "aha! this person is finally getting punished," i no longer wanted her to be punished. at least, not like that?

i don't know bro... von doro's breakdown in sai really hurts my feelings. i can't tell you why. i just feel so deeply for her.

“So you think you can spear lightning at the beast who survived the volcano for three hundred years? Is that it, daara? You think the storms of the heavens hold a flame to the rage of the underworld?”

“Oh? And I am so selfish? [...] Three hundred years, daara! You say these pompous words now, but wait until the years tick by and you find an Apa you are willing to slaughter the world for! Wait until that curse steals them away from you and tortures you with isolation and betrayal! Wait until the clock ticks centuries by and you are stuck within the same walls, quelling the same voices that drive you insane, reaching for the same happiness you were never entitled to, [REDACTED]! [...] This place destroys you, daara. It turns you vile, and lonely, and desperate to leave. But no… You are so much more noble than I, that of course you would have just gambled away your freedom and your chance to live and rest in peace if I had just asked you to. Like you were not seeking out death to escape pain only an hour ago. [...] Oh please, daara. Give me a break.”

is this... a sai excerpt?

yes.

you're welcome.

--

as for insight as the author? i'll say this:

von doro represents the cyclic nature of vengeance. the entire curse reflects it, but also her entire cycle of revenge with hilbert.

hilbert was acting in revenge -> he attacks the dragons -> the dragons death cause von doro's grief -> the explosions -> hilbert attacks von doro for the explosions -> he triggers the full extent of her wrath -> the incident -> half of soilaila dies + magic ban -> alan seeking vengeance

and it just keeps continuing. she is a tragedy, but worse than that, she is the generational cycle of suffering passed onto the next. misery who wants company.

thanks for the ask, wyked!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

If Cara had been born the eldest of Carmel's family therefore getting the thingamajig instead of Carmel how would that have affected the storyline?

okay i literally had to hunt down our convo from last night to figure out what the thingamagig was. lol.

WHAT A SPOILERY ASK LMAOOO. let's jump straight into it!

day three pt 2 of tcw's 12 days of askmas--cara/caramel role switch au [tov & sai spoilers]

i know i did a spoiler tag but i'm going to try and keep spoilers at a minimum. lol.

okay! so three fun facts for you: (a) caramel and cara are not actually related; they just consider each other sisters; (b) cara is older than caramel, who hates this fact and therefore refuses to acknowledge it (lol); and (c) the curse has nothing to do caramel's family tree.

caramel wasn't born from anyone special that she inherited the curse. her parents didn't carry it, neither did it have to do with her family tree. ALAN'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY ON THE OTHER HAND??? but that's a different topic altogether.

HOWEVER, in the spirit of making this a headcanon, let's pretend cara was the one who somehow inherited the curse instead. a lot of things would change plot-wise. first off--caramel probably wouldn't have been of any interest to hilbert, because the main reason hilbert was interested in her as a child was because seh had a strange ability to perform magic from all the families. if caramel didn't have the curse, that wouldn't be a thing. cara would have had it instead, but cara only encounters caramel after watching her train with hilbert. so cara and caramel would have never met.

another thing--cara probably would have been raised by von doro, or stayed with the black dragon she was raised by. but most likely, she would have been raised by von doro. she would have been groomed for von doro's desired task, and as a result, alan's entire downfall probably wouldn't have happened because cara would have inherited his curse too in his place, allowing alan to have a somewhat? happy ending. especially considering he wouldn't have known her to become attached to her, cara would have simply taken the fall for one generation before alan's children would inevitably have to reinherit the curse. unless cara managed to, during her generation, figure out how to break it. but i seriously doubt it, not going to lie. it's extremely difficult to break, hence why it has lasted so long.

anyways! that was an interesting headcanon. thanks for the ask, wyked!

-- harrassing the revived tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺)

[thecomfywriter]

Why exactly did von doro go on a killing spree? Can she be redeemed or is redemption beyond her?

hi again wyked! ooof okay i kinda explained this in my tangent in the last ask, but i'll reiterate it here.

day six of tcw's 12 days of askmas--von doro redemption [tov and sai spoilers]:

honestly, i'm lowkey getting tired so i'll answer this ask with a quote from sai.

"omg naveena--from sai?" hell yeah, plebeian. from sai 😎

“I want him dead. I want his heart ripped out. I want his brain exploded to smithereens. I want his limbs chopped up and strung on a garland for me to wear every day around my neck. ‘Proudly’, he said.” Her sobs echoed in another burst of the volcano. “I will slaughter him proudly. No— No…. [...] I want you to kill him for me, Markum. I want you to decorate the streets with his blood and mix it with broopasha for me to feast on. I want him to suffer, first by your hand, and then keep him barely alive so he can spend his last moments suffering by mine.” - Von Doro’s oath for vengeance, Chapter 5, SaI

long story short, hilbert killing the last dragon and saying he did so proudly sent her into a grief-ridden spiral. she lashed out on all of soilaila unintentionally, because of the curse. however, at the end of the day, she didn't care to save any of them either, because every single person in soilaila had a role in the dragon hunts, and therefore, they were all irredeemable in her eyes.

as for if she can be redeemed? honestly? i believe if she was given the opportunity, she 100% could have. and she was on the path to as well. but alas... her story is a tragedy, so although she had it in her heart to seek redemption, she wasn't allowed to be redeemed. and that's why her ending hurts.

thanks for the ask, wyked!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

Before i forget to ask for Alan….

Is general, overall, etc..has magic truly enriched his life? Or is it some corrupting force, taking over his soul and making a duplicate all too different. Or, it can be both. His relationship with magic, is it complicated then? Does he fault his mistakes to magic, or does he still like it?

bruh—

it’s the way i gasped when i read this ask. what a FASCINATING question. let’s deep dive into alan’s psyche and the influence of magic on his mind and identity, shall we?

day one of tcw christmas asks—alan and the corruption of magic [tov, sai, and cos spoilers ahead] 

what a question…. it’s funny because this is a question alan asks himself quite a bit in narration, but especially in sai. i’ll try to answer this the best i can, but tldr: it depends on who you ask. 

if you ask alan himself, “do you think magic corrupted you and made you who you are today? do you think it was worth the cost?” he would never blame the magic himself. alan only ever faults himself for what magic did to him. at the end of the day, he believes his own nativity and lack of willpower is what allowed him to be corrupted by magic, and not the magic itself. magic has and will forever be otherworldly and beautiful in alan’s eyes. he can’t blame it for his own downfall because, at the end of the day, magic is like nature, in soilaila—a force without judgement. 

HOWEVERRRRRR… 

let’s do a couple of considerations, shall we? if you asked ME as the author if magic was what corrupted alan, i would say no, it wasn’t. having the wrong teacher was.

there’s an excerpt in cos that supports my point, but first i’ll touch on caramel and the way she first describes magic in ToV chapter 5: 

“Just be careful, Paaya. Magic can be a dangerous thing. Especially if the source is corrupt. If you have a good teacher—a kind, benevolent, moral mentor—they can guide you to channel the magic within you into great, incredible things.” 

- Throne of Vengeance, Volume One (purchase here or read here)

let’s be SO FR with ourselves… hilbert is not that guy. hilbert and von doro both corrupt alan by teaching him magic as a vector for their own agendas. alan’s sanity was just collateral damage in their eyes. 

BUT THENNNNN....! THERE COMES EVAN’s SERIES AND THE FURTHER CONTEXT THAT CoS PROVIDES

this is not an evan ask so ill limit those spoilers, but in cos, there’s a scene where evan is asking about the “magic is corruption” thing and if he would also inevitably be corrupted by those powerful forces. he wanted to know if the corruption itself was a limit to gaining infinite power or if there was a way to learn as much magic as the gods without being corrupted. and he gets two answers that day: 

“who said that gods aren’t corrupted?” 

and 

“learn from the sources, evan, and we won’t punish you for your betrayal.” 

which suggests two things: 

there is no such thing as an uncorrupted mentor of magic (and therefore all magic is corruption. the more you learn, the more corrupt you become). and…

the gods wish to gain followers by offering them magic, and when they seek other sources, they become vengeful and increase the level of corruption the person experiences 

all things considered, alan’s corruption was as inevitable as his downfall, because in seeking to become a limious, he sought a glorious amount of power that was equal to his level of corruption. and by learning from hilbert, it solidified his arc. 

he will never see it that way though. he will always blame himself instead. because to blame fate is to remove his agency, and to be powerless is worse than being corrupt. 

thanks for the ask, smihi! 

-- once again, harrassing the dead tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie

ALSO WISH ME LUCK FOR MY EXAM TOMORROW MORNING (if this post isn't coherent, its because i'm about to knock out lol)

[thecomfywriter]

What if I gave von doro homemade cookies in the shape of her face to profess my loyalty

hi smihi! thanks for the ask! warning: i am a bit delirious at the moment because it is close to midnight, and that is when my brain cells go on vacation.

day six of tcw's 12 days of askmas--von doro and fealty [tov/sai spoilers]:

im taking this as an opportunity to talk about a scene in sai that i really wanna yamble about for no reason. how the concept of fealty works in soilaila.

essentially, the way to honour someone in soilailan custom is to bow your head, sometimes get on one knee depending on how much you respect them, and place your hand/fist over your magic bladder. it originates from the concept that from doing that, you would draw/claw the magic out of your organ and siphon it into the person you're swearing fealty to, so when they return it, it is sworn by your oath. anyhow, that's not done anymore as it was the dragons who started that custom, but the gesture still remains.

once you swore fealty to von doro, depending on your degree of magical proficiency, you'd rather be granted a title, or simply indebted to her service/loyalty. if you were a master in a family or close to (closeness only works for arcanics since there is no such thing as master of the arcane... teehee... yet.), you'd get the title "Elder". if you weren't a master but you were selected for von doro's courts, you'd be given the title jervee. if you became her jer'vazir, same deal. you didn't enter her courts without fealty though. you also couldn't be a limious without swearing fealty, which is why it is curious that hilbert was able to break his.

anyhow... von doro tries to force alan to swear fealty to her in sai's climax. spoiler alert lol the filter is gone.

as for your cookie offer? she'd accept it with glee, then get her jervees to begin a background check to see how worthy you were of her titles.

thanks for the ask, smihi!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

For day three of Christmas I ask of thee:

What is Morreial's inner fire? What sparked him into being him? Has the flame within him ever been overshadowed by circumstance?

LAST MORREIAL ASK OF THE NIGHT WOOHOOO

AND ITS A BANGER WOW.

okay i'm sleepy so let's get into it straight away!

day four of tcw's 12 days of askmas--morreial's inner fire [tov, sai, and potential lotf series spoilers]:

honestly, i hate to give credit to these two factors, but it has to be said. there's one factor i would love to give credit to, but that's a very very big spoiler so i'll debate it.

factor (1): his retained infant memories

remembering the incident and how his parents died is an EXTREMELY STRONG motivator and character moulder for morreial. those memories rocked his core and gave him unforgettable trauma, but also an extreme sense of patriotism, but far more balanced than the jervees before him. it gave him a reality check and born within him his hatred for von doro but also his compassion for everyone affected by the incident. and it also forced him to become resilient.

a big reason why morreial ends up being one of the most emotionally regulated characters is because of this factor. being this severely traumatized at such a young age and not being able to suppress the trauma to cope with it forced him to seek therapy and help instead, which is where he learned healthy coping mechanisms and proper tools to deal with his grief. which is why he becomes the most well adjusted member of the squad.

factor (2): the jervees

their upbringing was horrid as balls, but it did shape him into who he is in tov and beyond. he is pragmatic, logical, intelligent, thoughtful, shrewd, slightly mysterious, and patriotic because of them. a skilled magician because of them. educated and well mannered because of them. skeptical and slightly sketchy... all of these things are the byproducts of their upbringing.

factor (3): his soul-bond

i won't say who his soul-bond is with, but i'll tell you this much: i'm not talking about cara.

him and cara have an apa relationship. that's not what i'm talking about here. his soul-bond is like a reflection of himself who exists to balance out all his qualities. they are an extension of him, and holy SHIT does this character help morreial in EVERY FUNCTIONAL WAY POSSIBLE.

his soul-bond is the reason why therapy worked for him. in all the places he would've slacked or fallen off, his soul-bond helped him pick himself back up again. when he was getting bad again but he was too prideful to ask for help, his soul-bond was by his side and the person to ultimately convince him to abandon his pride for his health. i cannot express how VITAL his soul-bond was to his character development and his character as a whole.

so in terms of what morreial's inner fire is? i'd have to say his resilience and his desire to, for once, find peace of mind. he knows it's impossible to wipe the memories away, so he seeks to find a way to find peace despite them. and in terms of how circumstances have overshadowed that fire, i'll give a quick concise list of a couple of cases where that's occurred:

meeting caramel (her hair + her fire is a big trigger for him)

hilbert's return

any indications of another incident (earthquakes, bad weather, dark skies, wildfires) -> they trigger bad episodes that make it harder for him to maintain that inner fire

[SPOILERS INCOMING ALERT ALERT]

raheer's entire mott plotline

discovering what happened to evan in cos

all of these circumstances wreck him in a way that makes it hard for him to recentre. but he always ends up finding a way, because morreial's entire arc is about healing from the hurt that burns us within.

thanks for the ask, wyked! and that concluded morreial day!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]

[thecomfywriter]

When did Morreial start really seeing Cara/how did that affect the both of them, especially later when he and Caramel get credit for what she did?

(Technically a Morreial ask so it counts lol)

ooooo a mix of a cara morreial ask. how intriguing.

okay i'm so determined to finish this before 12am. let's jump straight in.

day four of tcw's 12 days of askmas--mara [tov/sai spoilers]:

honestly, because of the nature of the narrative, a lot of their relationship happens in the background. so narratively, there's no defined moment when morreial started to really notice and realize there was more to cara than she showed. but it was definitely after their first month of dating. i want to say it took him around 2-3 months before she started showing him her pixie side more. the dinner with hilbert really solidified it though. i think that was the first time she was so bold about it, and he got to see what her pixie side looks like in full. it impresses him, and he starts to ask more about her past, as you find out in their chapter together.

she never really tells him much, and morreial never really pushes, but whenever she does start to share, he's very attentive and non-judgmental, which is what makes her trust him with it more.

in terms of how receiving credit for her accomplishments affects their relationship, morreial actually wanted to and tried to give cara credit throughout the entire process. she was the one who told him not to bother and to leave it be. he never really understands why, and its a topic of discussion between them for a very long time, as this is one secret that she keeps from him for a while. i won't say what it is, but once he finally finds out about it, he understands why she'd prefer to stay undermined and unnoticed. however, whenever people try to talk down to her, he always brings her back up because it frustrates him just as much as it does her to see her be constantly overlooked and undervalues.

thanks for the ask, ain!

-- the holiday limited-edition tag list --

@wyked-ao3 @an-indecisive-nerd @drchenquill

@paeliae-occasionally @theink-stainedfolk @inseasofgreen

@thelovelymachinery @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling

@bunnymermaidwrites @the-golden-comet @sm-writes-chaos

@leahnardo-da-veggie @corinneglass

[please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged i promise i will stop 🥺]