#i just need to be fucked dumb and simply cannot think

[evqnescene]

😑🫱

[bittwitchy]

my gift is being annoying, see, i can hate myself and be so horrendously anxious that i think trying to make being alive easier for myself is somehow offensive to others bc thats how so many people online act like literally any accomodations not made by the doctors that dont care abt you at all are somehow unnecessary and ‘fishing for attention’ to the point i ruin myself and destroy my body avoiding accomodations bc i dont want to ‘seem like a bad person’ for quite literally needing help. but give me a tv show and 30 seconds with new information and i will either give you the most thought provoking theory or the most wildcard theory ever and always be correct.

[love-belle]

well, i'm still in love with you !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them soft launching each other while driving their friends wild.

or

for when you're still in love with them and will be for forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

prequel - saw ur mom at the grocery store ·˚ ༘

warnings - language. suggestive jokes (???)

author's note - im so SORRY for not updating life is CRAZY rn like ???? so much has happened like im in LOVE im DONE with SCHOOL i have EXAMS SJSHSJSJKSKS im so sorry i hope u like this i love u all <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 1,725,819 others

yourusername he's in my head so much i might as well just give him some

11,628 comments

username HOLD UP

username im shaking in my big girl boots rn what the Fuck

username y/n ?????

username SCREECHING

username roman empire or roman empire

username IM DYING OH MY GOD

landonorris just because you can type something doesn't mean you SHOULD

-> yourusername shut up u literally sprouted like an unwanted weed and not even the good kind

-> yourusername i am sorry that was mean

-> landonorris ��

-> username someone keep these two away from each other before y/n makes lando cry 😭

username live love laugh y/n y/l/n

username i need cameras recording their whole vacation !!!!!!!!!

username this whole holiday will be so much more entertaining than 90% of all the tv shows out there 😭😭

username lord i pray that this is about charles

maxverstappen1 you didn't hear it from me but he's giggling

-> yourusername tell him to stop giggling and help me chase those seagulls away

-> landonorris LEAVE MY SEAGULLS ALONE

-> yourusername THEY ATE MY SANDWICH

username rip y/n's hater girl era u will be missed 😞☝️

username i know charles is thoroughly enjoying this like

username i will get over a lot of things in life but i will never get over lando and max joining the y/l/n-leclerc vacation simply because they do not trust charles to do the sensible thing

-> yourusername actually they're all dumb

-> maxverstappen1 excuse you

-> yourusername u called grey "dark white"

-> maxverstappen1 I PAID TO KEEP QUIET

-> yourusername blocking out the haters 🫸🙄🫷

username forever entertained by this group they never disappoint

username need me a max and lando to get me a bf or whatever 🙄🙄🙄

username waiting for charles to come here and say some stupid shit before going on with my day !!!!

charles_leclerc i bet u think about me

-> yourusername nah bc no way ferrari can make u THIS delusional what's the cause

-> yourusername i am sorry i was told that i cannot say shit about ferrari clown private limited whatever corporation

-> username please never change

charles_leclerc i will make u pasta !!!!!!!!

-> yourusername no thank u i saw what happened to arthur

-> charles_leclerc THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT THE PASTA WAS NOT GOOD

-> yourusername skill issue

charles_leclerc where r u

-> yourusername why r u typing like that

-> charles_leclerc lando said it's cool

-> yourusername lando thinks birds don't have feet don't believe him

-> landonorris why am i catching strays

username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT CHARLES LIED TO GET MAX AND LANDO ON VACATION 😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 2,167,926 others

charles_leclerc we'd still worship this love

12,628 comments

username NAH WHO IS THIS MAN

username OH ??????

username false god lyrics imma die 🤣🤣🤣

username y/n effect is so real

username PLEASE NOT CHARLES SOFT LAUNCHING HIS EX 😭😭😭

-> username y'all put some respect on my girl's name 😭

-> yourusername i am no one's ex i will sue u for defamation

-> charles_leclerc for legal reasons she's JOKING

-> yourusername how do U know that tf

-> username i missed this

username hshshdjssjdjsjjsajjn;;;;;;;;bwywuuaj;...

username crying this is everything i've prayed for

username no one's mentioning the fact that charles wasn't even supposed to go on the vacation 😭😭😭

-> landonorris he booked his tickets and acted like it was a mistake

-> charles_leclerc you're a mistake

-> username and THAT'S how i know y/n and charles are back together 🤞🤞🤞

username i need a documentary on this vacation u don't GET it

username max and lando we trust u

maxverstappen1 you just pushed your love in water

-> charles_leclerc she told me i looked like tweety from looney toons

-> maxverstappen1 well

username crying i love every second of this

username i need to study this man's brain under a microscope like

-> username his thought process is just so UNIQUE

username i need them to confirm their relationship so i can breathe a sigh of relief thank u

username need me a man who posts like this

yourusername told u taylor swift songs slap

-> charles_leclerc highkey

yourusername i'm the most hilarious person ever idk why ur mad

-> charles_leclerc you called me tweety

-> yourusername hilarious

-> charles_leclerc my lover's got humour

-> yourusername OMGGGGG

yourusername we might just get away with this

-> charles_leclerc i told you, if you commit murder i will NOT be an accomplice

-> yourusername those are lyrics but fuck u too i guess

username i prayed for times like this 🤞🤞

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

charles_leclerc added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 1,972,628 others

yourusername well i'm still in love with u 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 (❤️)

tagged charles_leclerc

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 2,126,891 others

charles_leclerc 2 out of 262819 photos where she stole my phone and the one (1) photo with me in it like okaaaaaaaaaay (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️)

tagged yourusername

12,728 comments

username NAHHH WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO TYPE LIKE THAT

username PLEASE OMG

username andddddddd we're 🔙 to having charles have a breakdown every single time y/n (HIS GIRLFRIEND) interacts with him

username god heard my prayers

username why do i have a feeling lando and max went EXTREME

-> yourusername if u call pushing us both off the yacht and not letting us back on until we said "hiiiiii" civilly to each other extreme, then yes. they were EXTREME.

-> charles_leclerc still mad about it. i said "hiiiii 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘" and you said "hi 😐😐😐😐."

-> yourusername sorry i was too busy finding ways to poison u then ❤️❤️❤️ im good and better now ❤️❤️❤️ (police and officials LOOK AWAY)

-> username netflix needs to leave dts and document THIS

username someone should write a book on this vacation and it should be max ☝️☝️☝️

username WAR IS OVERRRRR

username they're BACK god bless

username the way i KNOW charles is thanking max and lando on his knees like homeboy would be stuck without them fr

-> danielricciardo excuse you i was the mastermind

-> landonorris you literally did nothing except sit on ft for hours and yell at us.

-> danielricciardo tell that to all those thank you texts (money) charles sent me

-> landonorris YOU TOLD ME NO ONE WILL BE GETTING PAID charles_leclerc

-> charles_leclerc i sent him $1 because heidi asked me to

-> heidiberger_ he threatened to fly out to italy i did everyone a favour

username the y/n effect is coming back with full throttle like yeaaaaaaaaah

username i need a trilogy on this vacation like i need EVERYTHING

username the way i KNOW both of their families just rejoiced like they were going through it 😭😭😭

username everyday i wake up and thank the lord and heavens for daniel ricciardo, max verstappen and lando norris

yourusername i look so good wtfff

-> charles_leclerc yes you do 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

yourusername bébé ( baby )

-> charles_leclerc mon ange ( my angel )

yourusername soulmates 4 sure

-> charles_leclerc 👍

-> username lord i am not your strongest soldier

-> username why is he like this 😭😭😭

yourusername lowk missed taking 26271727 selfies on ur phone

-> charles_leclerc missed seeing your pretty face every time i opened my gallery 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-> username y/n never leave him again please

-> username my man's TRAUMATISED

[successfulgoddess333]

MENTALLY JUST BE, PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP

The 3D is a RESULT

If you assume something in the 4D(your mind) watch it unravel in your 3D

Why is this???

I’m gonna yell at you now

BECAUSE THE 3D IS CHANGEABLE AND IT IS SO BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS A RESULT

The 3D is a result of assumption

The assumptions you created yourself subconsciously

Manifesting a new job is the same as manifesting

A billionaire status

Stop doubting something that’s so easy

Whether you manifest through The void or whatever other methods it is sooo easy

Quit victimizing and babying yourself and get it the fuck done

Ain’t nobody gonna do it for ya

It’s your life baby you write it design it however the heck you want it to be

I’m not one of those bloggers to be be like “it’s ok pookie if you fail🥹”

NO BITCH YOU CANNOT FAIL

THE VOID IS LITERALLY YOU

YOUR GORGEOUS SELF IS THE REASON WHY IT EXISTS AND YOU OVERCOMPLICATING IT FOR WHAT???

Ignore the 3D

It’s physical

The jeans you’re wearing right now or that hoodie

Is physical

You can change it up for you want

The 3D is that

It’s those jeans that hoodie those socks

Change it

If you don’t wanna wear it

THEN DONT

If you feel like you deserve better

ASSUME BETTER

LOOK IN THAT MF MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH NOBODY IS ABOVE YOU WE ALL FINE AS HELL

JEALOUSY FOR WHATTTTTT

BBY GIRL ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH

YOU TOO PRETTY TO BE SAD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOID CUZ THE UNIVERSE SHOWED YOU YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE

ACT LIKE IT GIRL!!!!!!

THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO STOP READING AND GO GET THAT DREAM LIFE

LIKE TF YOU STILL READING FOR

TAKE YOU FINE ASS TO THE VOID AND GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED

WITH YOUR CUTE SELF😏

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

BUT STOP SAYING “hoW dO EnTEr tHE vOiD?”

👁️👄👁️

Bitch you just did

YOU ALWAYS DOOOOOO

Jesus peanut butter Christ

Cmon y’all

yOu HavE alWayS dONe tHis!!!!

Every time you go to bed

You’re detaching from the 3D(physical reality)

To be in the 4D reality

All you’re doing is becoming aware of it

Oh my god

How hard is that?!!!!

You’re killing me babes😔✋🏾

Please for the love of jell-o

Understand how easy this shizzz is

Bruh

You’re in the 3D void rn

I know that probably doesn’t exist but hear me out

You’re so attached to this reality right

Every day you are aware that you’re here living in this physical world as a physical being

This is like our 3D version of the void state

It’s not actually the void

But it’s like our state of awareness

Just in this 3D world

We’re aware that we are physical

So to shift your awareness to the 4D simply just

Be aware

Just like you’re aware now

“BUtt hoW dO sTaY aWAkE?”

Who said you gotta be sleepy??

Bitch you could do it rn if you really want to

It’s dumb to think you gotta be tired at to enter the void

NOOOOO

You literally are mentally awake

Your BODY is asleep

So why should you??

It’s different if you wanna tap into it WHILE asleep

Like waking up in it

But you don’t need to be dead tired to do it y’all

Listen bitch

You will never make it if you don’t claim your power and go get it

Stop wasting time stop assuming you fail or it’s hard

YOU DA POWERFUL ONE BABE

Sugar baby it’s all in your hands

You’re the God of your reality

Go make your life the way you want it

Quit spending hours trying to find methods to something to you naturally do every night with NO method

When you go to sleep

You are in the state of just being

You’re just sleep

When you’re awake you’re in the state of awakened awareness

You’re just awake and aware

Soooo in the void mix those two together in the void

Mentally Just BE

Physical Just sleep

Omg my new motto

The key to the void state is

“MENTALLY JUST BE

PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP”

That’s it

That’s all

And If your favorite celebrities can manifest so can you

[wellwells]

Dumber and Dumber

The ad from Obeycorps already burrowed it's way into your head. "You need to become dumber, slut!" was what it said. It's hold on you was temporary, but you want to change that. The ad was obviously right, right?

You know you only have a couple of hours until it wears off and you'll regain your normal, well-adjusted worldview again. You quickly make your way to the hypnotists office.

"I want to become dumber. Like, really really dumb. So dumb that men will Take advantage of me."

"You really want that? To be taken advantage of?"

"Yes. I want to be too stupid to be independent. I want to be used and abused by men who like me solely because i am really dumb."

"Well then, if that's what you want. Look into my eyes."

You can immediately feel it. Your concentration becomes harder to hold, heavy like it's a hundred tons. You drop it, which feels better.

"Excellent. You are getting dumber and dumber. Soon, you will be the perfect plaything for every man who wants you. They will use you and discard you, and you will be too stupid to care."

You moan softly as your mind crumbles

"Yes... Amy dumb... dumb Amy..."

Then it stops. Like a cold shower, your recurring intelligence makes you shiver. The effect of the ad ceases, and a little voice inside you wants you to be smarter again. But it is too late. It just feels so good to be dumb.

"I wanna become, like, even dumber. If i am as dumb as possible, i want to be even dumber than that."

"Of course you do. You want to be the dumbest girl in the world. So dumb that you can't even remember your own name. So dumb that you can't even form coherent thoughts."

"Yes..."

There is no turning back as you permanently lose thought after thought. There is nothing in your pretty little head anymore. You don't have family or friends, memories or a personality. All those words lose their meaning, drooling out of your mouth.

"Good girl. You are becoming the perfect plaything. So stupid that you can't even remember how to speak in full sentences. So stupid that you can't even remember your own name."

"Dumb... I'm so... dumb..."

"What is your name, my little plaything?"

Dumb slut... You are a dumb, dumb slut.

"I don't... know... slut?"

"That's right."

You smile at being correct, even though you already forgot your answer.

The hypnotist reaches out to your cleavage.

"Dumber... please... dumber..."

You can still think about wanting to become dumber, which is still way, way too much.

The hypnotist says words you cannot understand. The concept of language spills out of you like the boobs out of your top. You can No longer ask to become dumber, you lack the capability to do that. It's fine, though, the hypnotist seems to know what you want.

He slaps you and squeezes your face.

You smile, not really getting what is going on. Your body seems to get touched, which is enough to send a smile to your face. You don't know what a smile means. You don't know what touch means. You don't know what anything means.

You simply don't know. You drool.

He shoves his cock in your mouth. After a few thrusts, he pulls it out completely again, holding it in front of your face.

Your mouth tries to communicate to him about those jumbled sensations squirming about, somewhere behind your crossed eyes.

"mmmmm"

Truly the most eloquent piece of dialogue you could muster up. A masterwork of literacy. You are so proud for a second, before you completely lose grasp of what little ego you had left.

"You're still way to smart, i guess. Sorry about that. Become dumber, bitch."

That was it. All thoughts gone. You are an object. No internal voice anymore. You don't exist. He fucks your mouth.

[catastrophicalcat]

Reasons Valmont Sucks (Catwoman 2018)

Valmont was a terrible character. And I really want to dissect why and how he is terrible - not just to get it off my chest and onto the collective Internet, but also because I think that Howard made some questionable writing choices that doomed him.

A quick intro - Valmont is Selina's love interest from the 1st two arcs of Tini Howard's Catwoman (2018) run. Inspired by some version of the Dangerous Liaisons character, he is a quasi French assassin who appears in Selina's life when she is trying to take on the Five Gotham Crime families, stalks her a bit, gifts her a stolen cat, fucks her, and eventually get murdered by her while he's trying to kill Batman. BatCat are on a poorly defined break during these events (with Bruce clearly thinking that they're somewhat committed to each other). Valmont is a dork. He looks like this:

More stuff under the break since I don't know how to write succinctly...

Valmont is a possessive stalker. It's obvious that Howard wanted to create a character who is different from Batman. Just look at him - Batman wears black, Valmont wears white. Batman strives to be a good person, while Valmont is an unrepentant murder. Bruce tries to be a gentlemen, while Valmont.... Almost immediately, Howard is in a pickle - how can she recreate a 17th century romance about assholes when, at the moment her run begin, Selina has no reason to be into this guy? And, this phony goth poser, by definition, cannot be upfront and just ask Selina out. Bruce would have done that. He's not Bruce. Solution? She gets rescued by him. A lot. Some examples:

While getting rescued frequently may be a way to fall in love, it makes Selina just so incompetent. Like I think that almost every single issue where Valmont appears, she needs to gets saved by him in some fashion. I don't think that Bruce rescued her that often, at least not in her own run! I went from reading about a savvy cat-burglar to an eternal damsel-in-distress.

Maybe I missed it, but I literally just read through all of his issues to find these screencaps, and I can't find any reason for him to be there other than to stalk her....

2. Making sexy French man is hard, OK! Prior to this run, I did not realize just how hard it is to write a sexy man instead of a creepy man. But seriously, this guy is GROSS, and Selina being into him makes her come off as dumb floozy. Who in the world would get turned on by lines like:

Maybe I'm fascinating, Catwoman. (Spoiler - he isn't)

I consider myself a citizen of the world. (Is he "my parents live in Ohio, I live in the moment" Ted Mosby?)

I wanted to help. But I did not want to chase you, or do what those boys had done. So I simply waited, where I knew you could find me. ("Those boys" - Tim & Dick, who tried to offer reasonable assistance and advice).

Fascinating? Interesting? Dangerous? (Describing himself.)

But I won't assume that just because a cat has sat in my lap once, it will do so whenever I call. (He then proceeds to bang her on the roof).

Have you ever had anyone encourage you to chase your desires? Just for your own pleasure? (Yeah, this is like a famous trait of hers...)

The sharp pleasure of waiting until I see you again is enough. (See, normal Selina - or a normal woman - would just never see him again).

Related to the above - their sexy times? Not sexy. First, they try and fail to hijack a cannibal's plane and parachute jump. Maybe adrenaline got their heart rate up, but still - poor planning! Second, and more egregiously: multiple characters comment on how Selina is deliriously tired. Valmont is one of those characters! He then bangs her on the roof. I don't want to kink-shame, but sleeping with someone when they're falling off their feet from exhaustion is like, not great?

3. He's a freaking murderer! This guy kills people and drops their bodies in the harbor. He's friends with Flamingo, a cannibal who tried to eat Robin (Damian, but still!). And yet, this is how Selina feels about him:

What happened? Really, what happened? Selina used to be smart and not boy crazy. Sure, she has a wide variety of unfortunate love interests despite these traits (post forthcoming!). But never has she fallen so fast, so quick, so off the deep end for someone who deserves it so very little.

I have other substantive issues with this run, but wanted to start by dissecting Valmont. A non-Bruce love interest is already an uphill battle in a Catwoman comic. Burdening him with all of these negative traits did not lead to a good story. Instead, Selina came off as stupid and immature for ever liking this guy in the first place.

I know that this post was super negative - these are just my thoughts, and I'm open to critique. If folks feel positive about Valmont, or other things I touched on here, I would be really interested to hear it.

[writingseaslugs]

Diasomnia NSFW Headcanons

Me: Don’t give Malleus a breeding kink, don’t give Malleus a breeding kink…EXTRA BULLET HE HAS ONE! I really cannot contain myself…I don’t apologize. Also might’ve been a little drunk while writing this, so I will not be taking criticism. I drank a glass of Moscato midway through Malleus, a shot of fireball/rumchata at Sebek, and a second shot midway through Silver. So you know…I did the best I could while under the influence of my bad decisions.

Disclaimer: All characters in this series is aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post. This post also has explicit content. If you’re under the age of 18, or are uncomfortable with this form of content, please skip this post. Content Warning: Marking, Edging, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, Body Worship, Soft Sex, Consensual Somnophilia.

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia (You’re Here)

NSFW Headcanons

Malleus Draconia

Malleus is the biggest student at NRC…and not just in the height department. He’s pretty well endowed, and the anatomy might not be totally human, so be prepared to feel like you’re being split in half when he’s inside you. This bodes well since he has a size kink, and being a bigger presence to his lover is a huge turn-on. Watching his lover squirm when they see his size for the first time as he assures you it’ll all fit as long as you let him prep you for a while. The size kink goes both ways as well; if he has a lover who is somehow taller than him, he’s going to love being manhandled by them.

Fae have stamina for days, which means it’ll be hard to catch up with him. There’s likely never going to be a moment when he’s on top that you can keep up with his stamina. He will always manage to outlast you as he overstimulates your body until it’s almost at the breaking point. He’ll give you a break, though, and never judges since he knows you are simply a child of man. If you happen to be on top that night, though and drag him to orgasm time and time again until he’s twitching under you, you might be able to outlast his stamina. Maybe.

He is a switch, despite what others may think. Outside around others, he keeps his appearance up, but when it’s just the two, you’re on equal grounds at all times. If you want to be dominated, then say no more. He’ll have you screaming his name until you lose your voice; fucking you dumb is a fun pastime of his. If you want to be on top, he’ll let you play with his body to your heart’s content. He still is in charge during those moments, though, unless you manage to really overstimulate him or edge him until his brilliant green eyes are starting to tear up.

It’s not unheard of to leave his room with a few new bruises and scratch marks. He’ll heal them for you instantly if you ask, but honestly, he really likes how well-marked up you are. It’s never on purpose either; he just kind of loses himself sometimes and forgets how delicate humans are. He’ll apologize and kiss every inch of skin he might have injured and promise to be more careful moving forwards…unless you’re into that kinda thing.

When the mood strikes him, he’s going to have his way with you. Doesn’t shy away from public sex at all since he will be able to tell if someone is nearby and take the appropriate measures. If he wants to absolutely ravish you while he’s in class, the moment the bell rings, he’s going to find you and drag you somewhere and fuck you against the wall. Be careful what you wear around him as well. You have something on that he wants to tear off you like a present; he will with no remorse. Even if it’s your favorite underwear, he swears he will buy you fifty more of them later.

Bonus Bullet: He has a breeding kink. Not only from being a dragon fae but from being royalty and the thought of one day needing to produce an heir. He’s going to have you in a mating press, chest against his, as he tells you how good you’re taking his cock. Coming inside you several times as you go into overstimulation, fucked dumb by him, all while he wipes away your tears and tells you you’re doing so good for him. Watching his cum flow out of your abused hole and maybe even plugging you up after. Even if you are AMAB or on birth control, he’ll still do this. Seeing you so thoroughly fucked full of his cum makes him absolutely feral.

Lilia Vanrouge

There is no doubt about it, Lilia has experience when it comes to being intimate with someone. Whether you’re experienced or not doesn’t matter to Lilia, he can still show you a thing or two. In fact, he’ll be begging to show you what he knows, using techniques that have made past partners squirm. He will have you begging for more by the end of it. His mouth isn’t just good for smart quips, after all.

Very open to kinks and honestly has probably partaken in them once or twice. If you name a kink that’s new, he’s going to be intrigued and want to test it out and see if he’s into it. If you’re really into something and bring it up, he’s more than happy to show you. He has a pretty extensive kink list that he’ll sit you down and go through to see what you’re down with trying. Biting his partner is definitely one of them, and he’s had several partners in the past swoon over his sharp teeth. If you’re willing to let him mark you with bites and hickies, he’s going to be a very happy man.

You get the best of both worlds when it comes to Lilia. You can have him be small and breedable if you want, fucking your cock or strap into him while he’s moaning and whining mess, begging you for more. Or he can take on his more mature and taller form, looking over you while your wrists are tied as he drives his cock into you. He’s happy with being a top and a bottom and will be happy if he has a partner willing to indulge with both sides. Not to say he won’t be submissive in his taller form and dominant in his smaller form. He is versatile and enjoys making his partner or himself a mess in whatever way possible.

Lilia loves to tease his partners in friendly, romantic, and sexual ways. He’ll be between your legs for hours if you let him, bringing you so close to coming only to lift away and tap his slick-coated chin, pondering out loud if he thinks you deserve to cum. If you return the favor, expect him to be overdramatic about it. He’ll be so loud with your lips around his cock, begging you to let him cum with tears flowing down his red face. Some of it’s just for show, but damn, it’s easy to rile you up even with that sight. He’s also going to edge both of you, taking his cock out of you as soon as the two of you are almost at the edge while leaning down and kissing your cheek and neck, saying, “One more time, and we can cum together.”

He’s going to adore teasing you between classes. Coming over and whispering something dirty in your ear as you pass by him. Putting his hand a bit too high on your leg while at lunch. Maybe dragging you to an empty classroom for a heavy make-out session before parting and telling, talking against your lips, that you should head to your next class. It’s a fun game of his to see how far he can take it before you’re the one grabbing him by his arm and dragging him to an empty broom closet and begging him to make you cum before you go crazy. Depending on his mood, he might just use his hands while calling you a needy little slut to get you to cum and then leave you in your messed-up underwear until after school.

Bonus Bullet: Make fun of his height, and he's going to see that as a challenge. Either he's going to take on his larger form that towers over you at 6'8" (203.2cm) and tell you how tiny you are compared to him now as he impales you on his cock. Or he's going to drag you to his room and tie you up and fuck you in his short form, edging you for hours while saying you should be nicer to short people judging by how well they can wreck you.

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek is…sadly, not well-versed in sex. He knows how babies are made, but his fae mother probably never sat him down for the bird and the bees, he probably never spoke to his father about it, and Lilia had just assumed he knew. Not to mention the lack of friends his age, and well…there’s some explaining to do. He’s not clueless; he knows what to do. He just doesn’t know about all the technical things, like foreplay. So it’s going to be fun to teach him all those things and watch as his face goes red when you tell him he needs to use his hands to stretch you out before he can stick his dick into you.

It might be a little awkward because he will be asking to ensure he’s doing things correctly. What kind of man would he be if he couldn’t even please his partner? So as he’s first exploring your body, caressing every inch of skin he can, he’s going to be asking what feels right. It’s almost going to be sensual as he gropes your chest, tweaking your nipples and watching as your back arches up into his touch, and he smiles, asking if that felt nice. The moment his hand goes between your legs, he’ll be a bit nervous but hearing you moaning out his name breathlessly is going to encourage him to keep at it.

His composure is going to be lost pretty fast when he’s fucking you. For once, he might be speechless as he watches your face morphing in pleasure. His entire face will be painted scarlet at the sight as he stops thrusting to admire you. When you ask him why he stopped, he’s going to stutter out an excuse before giving a harsher thrust. His hair is going to be disheveled, and the fluffy locks might even be in his face. He’s going to look absolutely wrecked when he feels your walls convulsing around you, and if he had any thought to pull out, it’ll be lost as he’s coming hard in you.

He will worship every inch of your skin. Every mole, freckle, blemish, scar…you name it. If you have curves, he’ll pinch them between his fingers and tell you how beautiful they make you. Expect to be bombarded with praise. You think his obsession with Malleus is bad? He could talk about your body, what noises you make, your expressions…he could go on for days. Just make sure to inform him not to accidentally slip up around friends when discussing you. The last thing you need is Sebek telling everyone how you are in bed and how last night your moans went a pitch higher than normal when you came, and how you left scratches all along his shoulders that he swears he’ll wear with pride and hopes they scar.

He’s a service dom to the max. He’ll always want to be on top because, again, “What kind of man would I be if I hogged all the pleasure to myself by letting you do that?”. He can be convinced, though. Ask if you can suck him off, and he might tell you it’s not necessary, but if you give him the puppy dog eyes, he’ll oblige. Watching as he bites his knuckles in an attempt to be quiet before breaking and moaning loud enough for the entire school to hear is ethereal. He’ll never ask you to do those things, but if you offer, he’ll allow it since you want to, and he has a hard time telling you no.

Bonus Bullet: No public sex. He is far too loud, and you will be caught instantly. There’s also no sneaking when you two are having sex. If it’s in Ramshackle, make sure Grim is out because even he can’t sleep through that. If it’s at Diasomnia, the dorm is going to hear you two. Lilia will chuckle and congratulate Sebek, which will make the boy beam. Malleus won’t say anything, but Silver will be visibly annoyed. Lilia might suggest that you keep your affairs at Ramshackle next time…or he could always let you borrow a gag for Sebek.

Silver

Since Lilia raised him, he was given sex ed like a normal kid would when they reached puberty, but Lilia had drilled into Silver the importance of protection and how he didn’t want to be a gilf anytime soon. Silver took the protection part to heart and will be using a condom unless you tell him it’s okay and he doesn’t need to. He also knows a thing or two from overhearing people talk when they thought he was asleep. He’s not clueless, but experienced is another thing…thankfully he’s a quick study.

Generally, having sex with Silver isn’t really “Fucking” but more of “Making Love.” He’s going to be gentle and make you feel wanted like you’re the only thing that exists at the moment. It’s almost suffocating how the air sometimes changes when he begins having sex with you. You’re going to feel cherished and secure in his arms. He’s going to kiss you all over your body and murmur sweet nothings to you as he slowly brings you to an earth-shattering orgasm. Your entire body will feel like a live wire as you feel every vein of his cock rubbing inside you.

Silver tends to sleep over at your place more often than not, as long as Lilia assures him Malleus will be fine. So if you wake him up with kisses, he’s going to slowly reciprocate before groping your body and pulling you close enough to feel his morning wood through his pants. Slowly riding him with the morning beams of sun coming in through the cracks in the blinds is going to be the best wake-up call he could ask for. If you get tired of doing that, he’s more than happy to flip you onto the bed and slowly grind his cock into you until you’re both coming. Just be careful not to fall back asleep after that.

When the mood strikes him, he can be a bit more energetic in bed. Especially if you request him to go a little bit harder next time, he’s happy to oblige. He’ll keep fucking into you until your legs are turned to jelly. His hands touch every inch of skin as he roughly thrusts into you, pulling each orgasm out of you until your brain is short-circuiting. He might be the number one sleepy boy in the school, but his stamina is nothing to scoff at. He’s still a trained knight, and his body is up to par because of it. He can also try a lot of different positions with you, even fucking you against the cool tiles of the shower without worrying about slipping at all.

Sex with Silver is amazing, in all honesty, but the best thing is after. He’ll make sure you’re both cleaned up and then cuddle you. Normally he likes to be the big spoon so he can wrap his arms around your midsection and pull you against his chest. You’re almost like a stuffed animal for him. He’ll leave kisses along your shoulders and tell you everything he thinks about you and how much he adores you. He’ll keep this up for a while until suddenly, he drifts off and is quiet. It’s a clear sign he fell asleep, and his grip will loosen enough to turn around and face him to see his peaceful sleeping face.

Bonus Bullet: He’ll only be okay if it’s discussed beforehand and it's in a private location, but he is okay with you using his body while he’s asleep. He knows he’s got a condition of some kind, and that might leave you feeling needy at moments while he’s asleep. Not to mention he might get tired midway through sex and just fall asleep. So if you have discussed it, he doesn’t mind you using his body to pleasure yourself. If he wakes up to you riding his cock and moaning lewdly, he’ll think he died in his sleep and went to heaven somehow. Remember, though, it has to be consensual. He probably wouldn’t appreciate you doing it if it hadn’t been discussed.

[theoshn]

At this late age of 27 years, I am experiencing something for the first time. This experience is extremely surreal and is, in fact, dealing me psychic damage:

I have read a work of GAY LITERATURE that did not make me immediately run to a03 for fan content.

You are thinking to yourself, “But Theo, I have read gay books that are simply not that good and I have no desire to linger in that book with those characters.” Yeah bro, me too. I also love dumb erotic brain popcorn about hockey players. That’s not what I’m talking about actually, hold tight!

What makes this situation unique in my life is the REASON I have not sprinted to a03. These books were SO GOOD, so meticulously planned, so painfully tragic and romantic, the characters were so ROUNDED and AWFUL and SCREAMINGLY, SEARINGLY PERFECT, that I cannot fathom reading fic about them.

There is one person I trust to write more about these people in their world, and that person is CS PACAT BECAUSE THE BOOKS ARE THE FUCKING DARK RISE BOOKS.

Like, please understand. I am a child of the 00s. I grew up roleplaying Drarry on fucking Facebook Forum, I read and wrote Drarry fic like my life depended on it. I came up in a fandom with inarguably garbage source material that the fans made something BEAUTIFUL out of — that’s its own beautiful and shiny thing, love that for us, I still draw crummy Drarry art because I still have Drarry brain rot.

I am also NOT A STRANGER TO PACAT! I started with Captive Prince, I love Captive Prince, but you know what? I also love Captive Prince fic.

There’s something that Pacat has done with Dark Rise that seems like it was specifically built for me, fucking *Collar* style. I cannot stop thinking about it, I cannot stop pacing about it, I have never before understood the term “going feral” like I do right now, but I CANNOT SOOTHE MYSELF IN THE ONLY WAY I KNOW (read: fic) BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENS TO THEM.

I am also 100% sure that this is at least in part because the series is not finished and some part of my lizard brain is like, trying to keep this experience pure while it’s still happening.

I know I’m like, screaming into the void here but does anyone know what the fuck I’m talking about? Do you guys do this? Just me? Help!

[homicidal-sheep]

I will defend Eurylochus to my dying breath because what the fuck yall, he is not the malicious monster people are making him out to be?? Like these characters are so morally grey its not even funny.

I love Ody with all my heart but the man did fuck up. He is human, and a plaything of the Gods, which is a very dangerous position to be in at the best of times.

I've seen people saying Eury has no moral high ground on the Scylla thing because he wanted to leave all the men at Circe's. Now firstly, I highly doubt a simple scouting mission would include all the men (see Cyclops saga, when only a fraction went). So they would be running to save what men remained, not ditching the entire army. Secondly, what exactly did you want them to do when facing Circe? They didn't know Hermes was there. All they knew was there was a magic lady who could turn people into pigs. So what, were they gonna ask really really nicely? Somehow I highly doubt that would work. Without the Gods intervention, I just don't see them winning. Eury was cutting their losses because from his POV, there was quite literally nothing they could do for the men. Best case scenario they snuck the men/pigs out and, idk, kept them as pets??

As for the wind bag, yeah it was a really dumb decision. But Ody is the one who decided not to trust his men, especially Eury. Ody has already given up on the crew, and they likely feel that distrust. Why should they put their blind faith in a man who refuses to clue them in? Why should they believe that he has whats best for them in their hearts? Ody's own guilt caused him to embrace an ideology that got a bunch of them killed. (remember when he said the only one who's lines he hasn't crossed were his own?) And we can see some of this growing resentment in Perimedes cut song. We as viewers have context the men simply do not.

Sidenote, people say Eury would have gotten them lotus'd. Yeah maybe. or maybe Ody would have recognized the fruit before they ate it, like he did with Polites. We cannot know.

The other point I keep seeing, that I find absolutely baffling is "well they deserved to die for mutinying, they should have listened to their king and captain" I'm sorry when did we all become monarchists. Kings and captains can absolutely make bad decisions? We should not blindly trust authority?? Yeah Eury kept questioning the captain. He was second in command and the voice of the crew, not only is he voicing their discontent, I'd argue that a good king should have someone who is willing to disagree with them. While Ody is right, that in the middle of a dire situation isn't great, and it would have been better to address those issues in private, they are very legitimate worries. If your captain has admitted he would burn the world to see his son and wife, I think being a little worried is absolutely fair.

The Gods keep appearing and helping Ody but they are also incredibly dangerous beings who constantly play with the lives of mortals.

On to the cow thing. Ya it was fucking dumb. But I can understand why. The man is fucking tired. They don't see a way out and at that point, starving to death slowly, so desperately afraid, probably sounded like a terrifying fate. Better to get it over with.

And he still cares! Ody is his literal brother in law. They bandaged his wounds when they could have idk, sacrificed him to Posideon or something. What Ody did to them was 100% betrayal and I understand why they mutinied, with what information they had. For petes sake he kept singing "I need to get home", I, not we.

Again, I love Ody, but good lord, the man is the definition of an unreliable narrator. Let them all be complicated, tragic characters without labeling them as cookie cutter good guys and bad guys.

[stormblessed95]

Ok may I ask a total non hater question from an absolute jikooker who’s just confused?

Before I’ve read anyone else’s opinion on it when I first heard abt jikook enlisting together I thought “oh, BH wants Jimin and JK to go in together so that they can all (BTS) be back together working asap/by a particular date, how super fucking nice and fortunate for them to be together!!🥰”. But then I’ve read others post abt the buddy program and no one mentions it/everyone just seems to think it was their idea? Am I missing a statement/intervoew/live somewhere where they discussed coming up with it independently instead of agreeing to a company’s idea?

I’m sorry for being confused😅

You don't need to be sorry for being confused! Can I just ask why the company would make them enlist together? Lol there is simply zero reasoning for that. If they wanted JK to enlist to bring BTS back as 7 earlier rather than later....

Well for 1. They literally cannot do that. They can't force anything about their military service, that's the government that requires this of their civilians. And when they join the military, they are considered regular civilians during their service. Not idols.

And 2. Even if they COULD tell JK he had to enlist right away, which that's again solely JKs choice, his enlistment time frame would not change if he enlisted solo (like Jin, Tae, RM, Hobi and Suga) or with Jimin like he did. In fact, they went through a harder basic training because of doing this program together than if they had gone solo.

Finally, 3. The company cannot do or fill out Jikooks military paperwork for them. Jimin and JK had to choose this process for themselves, and it's like a 3 to 4 months long application process. Which I detail in this post here:

They wouldn't have accepted this application if they didn't believe that this was what they wanted as individuals. That's just not how the system works. If you are wanting to know more and perhaps see the process go through, you can look up and even watch the Korean Military Variety Show called "Real Men" and watch the Battle Buddy special episodes.

Hope that helps clear up a bit of confusion for you!

[kpopjamstick]

∆ WHAT KIND OF PARTNER SVT MEMBERS WILL BE DURING SEX ∆

»S.Coups: Dominate partner…like please we all know that he is the male alpha who likes to dominate and discipline his 12 other little pups…nothing will be different in the bedroom. Therefore remember to be a good girl when he asks you for it or else you'll be in for multiple rounds. But he'll turn into a fluff ball almost immediately after you're done.

»Jeonghan: Oh man! This guy is sadistic af…if you don't think he is sadistic, then you're probably from Mars. He will have his lazy graze on you while edging you to the point that you're a fucking mess. Seeing you crying and begging for him will only further boost his ego. Hence don't let this angel in disguise fool you.

»Joshua: Discipline. As we all know our gentle-sexy man shua is a very soft person. But when it comes to sex….he very much like to set certain rules as he does not want you to get hurt or feel pain. But if you being a brat try to break the rules....then he won't hesitate to punish you either. But overall I see him as a submissive partner.

»Jun: This man is getting bulk everyday and he is not afraid to admit the fact that he is pervert of the group. Apart from his cutely weird personality, he is a total daddy material and he is so into bongage that the idea of tying you down on the headboard of the bed with a rope/ handcuffs is enough to make him cum within 10 seconds. This man is basically always ready to have sex, anytime and anywhere. 

»Hoshi: have you ever noticed his thighs or abs while he is performing? If you haven't, then you probably should before he hits your G-spot like a truck and wreck your ass down. This man has a lot of stamina and he won't hesitate to demonstrate while you two are in bed. He is also very Dom but sometimes wouldn't mind being sub just for you.

»Wonwoo: Besides his lazy yet calm composure , Wonwoo is a very Dom person. Unlike Jun, he would not be always up for sex. But once you slip into that sexy nightdress he specially brought for you will immensely turn him on, and it will be very foolish of his S/O to think that he'll have mercy on him/her. 

»Woozi: His go to go line will be "oh shit this is red too" as he'll pin you down in bed and keep giving you hickeys everywhere that there's no more room left for any. As being the producer, he'll always be eager to try new thing. Therefore he'll be so into sex toys, and the thought of him using them on you will just turn him on.

»DK: He is a sensitive baby, he'll just melt down simply by your touch. He is definately a sub and he is into bondage but it's the other way around. He'll absolutely go head over heels for you, when you'll look straight into his eyes as he's tied up with a silk rope and you are slowly pumping him. Will be so into it that it'll send in a state of paradise. He'll be a whining mess and will always promise to be the best boy for you.

»Mingyu: He is a bigggg boy and in front of his stature you can't help yourself to feel small. He definitely knows the effect he has on you. But speaking honestly, let's admit that our baby giant gyu is still a clumsy lust stricken puppy so as long as his needs are taken care of he's ready to wag his tail and bark for you. He'll be just more than happy to get off despite of the way…as long as he's able to fuck you dumb he is the winner. He is definitely a switch between Dom and sub. 

»The8: He is a very sensible and sensitive guy. I cannot imagine him hurting you or causing you any discomfort. I feel like he'll be so disciplined while having sex and set rules beforehand. He'll be so cautious that if you try to break the set rules then you might not able to get off at all. 

»Seungkwan: He is a very sensitive boy but I feel like he would loveeeee to try bondage with his partner. Either of them restrained and the other trying every way possible to reach the climax….oh he'll probably cry!

»Vernon: I can honestly feel this boy being a soft submissive baby for his partner….he would love when his partner just blindfold him and make him touch every part of his partner's body…. he'll be sooo horny that you'll be in for a lonnnnngggg night!

»Dino: Dino is sooo experienced tolerating his 12 hyungs, so I think temperature play would be a thing for him…. making his partner cry out of pleasure will be his mission…. moreover he got some moves and I hope that no one underestimates his stamina!!!

[hilacopter]

You say ur a zionist depending on the definition but you believe jews are indigenous to the levant? That is the definition why don't you just call urself a zionist

see the thing is I genuinely think a lot of the whole zionism controversy mostly stems from a giant stupid misunderstanding and people not being properly informed. me telling someone I'm a zionist can either give them the right idea or the completely wrong idea.

let me paint a picture for you: a self-identified zionist and a self-identified anti-zionist walk into a bar. the zionist thinks the definition of zionism is wanting a Jewish state in the Levant, they want peace and a two-state solution. the anti-zionist thinks zionism is kahanism, they want peace and a two-state solution. "are you a zionist?" the anti-zionist asks, "yes" the zionist answers, and they immediately get into an argument. "anti-zionism is antisemitism!" the zionist shouts, "zionists are fascists!" the anti-zionist yells. of course this could all have blown over peacefully if they had asked eachother what zionism is, but why would they need to? what else could the word possibly mean?

I respect people on this site who identify as zionists, providing of course their meaning is wanting Jewish self-determination and not denying the right to Palestinian life and self-determination alongside us (remember I'm literally saying all this as an Israeli, if anyone wants Jewish self-determination in Israel it's me because my life quite literally depends on it). but I feel like they create a lot of unnecessary conflict for themselves by identifying as such and in most cases not explicitly stating what they mean by zionism. I know there's the desire to make dumb people understand the actual definition of the word, but with how much the misconceptions have already been set in stone I think it's a battle we cannot win.

there's more to all this though, buckle up for a pretty long post because I have a lot to say which I won't religate to the tags for once. first of all, I genuinely think a lot of anti-zionists, especially on the younger side (saying this as a minor myself), do not even have a solid definition of zionism in their head. they just see all of their peers shitting on it and follow along, making up whatever zionism means in their head along the way. since in leftist spaces it's not very acceptable to actually ask about the cause, why everyone is doing what they're doing. you have to take everything for granted, after all you wouldn't want to look uneducated by not knowing what zionism is! (this aspect of leftism 100% comes from cultural christianity btw)

there are also many anti-zionists who, at least to some extent, do know zionism means self-determination of Jews in the Levant and wanting Israel to exist. a lot of which think Israel is a white colonizer state, unaware of the history of the region, how more than there are ashkenazi Jews in Israel there are mizrachi Jews expelled from Arab nations, and are unaware of Jewish indigeneity to the Levant. how this land was originally Judea, only renamed Syria-Palaestina after being conquered from us and having most of us expelled. unfortunately the vast majority of pro-pal activists are very much simply jumping on the trendy train, not bothering to actually do their own research about the history of this insanely complex conflict and simply know everything by word of mouth from other equally uneducated leftists. I do think a lot of these people genuinely just don't know and aren't actively denying Jewish history on purpose, I've had like two cases happen where I told anti-zionists of this sort about Jewish indigeneity to the Levant and they just went "really? I had no idea". but of course for every person like that, there will be a person who will double down and dismiss it as propaganda, a myth and a fairytale. those people can go fuck themselves, clinging desperately to their half-assed worldview rather than willing to own up to being wrong and better themselves. denying Jewish history. or in a rare case of exceptional shittiness an anti-zionist can view zionism as wanting Jewish self-determination in the Levant and know that Jews are indigenous, yet still choose to identify as an anti-zionist by that definition for what can be a myriad of horrible reasons, usually complete tride and true antisemitism.

so in conclusion, I don't identify as a zionist outright until I know what kind of anti-zionist is asking me the question. is it an anti-zionist who just wants peace as much as I do, or is it an anti-zionist who wants me and my family dead? I've had people call me a zionist, non-zionist, anti-zionist and I don't really know what to expect each time. I feel like this approach leaves the most room for me to open good faith discussions with people and educate them on the subject as someone who actually knows xir shit, more than the average pro-pal at least, rather than having them immediately dismiss me as whatever definition of a zionist they have. not that good faith discussions are easy to have with people on tumblr dot com, and really online in general, but I'd rather have the option in the rare case of an actual open-minded individual who is willing to listen to Jews and better themself.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

I know you’re requests are closed but I had an idea for a Mickey fic and I’m an awful writer and you’re amazing so imma just leave this here. What if reader and Mickey are both the Ghostfaces along with Nancy and they’re both like, literally insane. Like to the point where after they kill they gotta fuck then and there whilst covered in their victims blood blah. blah but in the end Nancy kills one of them and it makes the other completely fucking INSANE for revenge.

OKAY! SO! Anon! I fucking love this ask. I went so hard. I hope you enjoy this enemies to friends to lovers over 7K massive fic! I stretched out the timeline of Scream 2 because fuck you, this is fanfic and we can do whatever we want to! I love this request and where it leaves off? I already have a sequel planned and mostly plotted. So thank you Anon seriously. Also, shoutout to @mrsaltieri-real for helping me out on this one! You are the best.

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 7.9K. Mickey Altieri X AFAB! Ghostface! Reader. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: Reader Is A Killer. Reader Has Anger Issues. Fighting. Taunting. Teasing. Mickey And Reader Are ASSHOLES To Each Other. Blood. Gore. Murder. Death. Mild Fluff. Enemies To Friends To Lovers. Ghostface Partners In Crime Couple. Mickey Is Crushing Hard. Angst. Hurt. Crying. Emotional Pain. I Apologize In Advance.

—

“So Good To You.”

—

You never cared much for the idea of getting a college education, or at least that is what you told yourself because financially it was way out of reach for you, an impossibility. That was until you got an offer you simply couldn’t turn down, what that offer was? It was for a free ride at a college by a benefactor with money to burn and some revenge she needed to be carried out. It would be a hindrance for some, but not for you. The reason you were chosen was because of not only your previous experience with this, but your outright willingness to spill blood. So you accept, you follow her instructions to the fucking letter and arrive at school in September. 

Once moved into your dorm, a few days into college you were meeting up with her in person, all the correspondence up to this point has been online and on the phone, meeting her had to be done carefully. The meeting is not even in town, the process must be delicate, and the wrong people cannot see you together lest there be talk and suspicion. When you show up and see that she is not alone you are confused, when you sit down, and she explains that you are not the only student she is “sponsoring” you are pissed.

You don’t hide this either, gripping your menu, so tightly it might bend, speaking in a hushed yell whisper, “Nancy, what the fuck?”

He, whoever he was, agreed, leaning forward and voice low, “Yeah actually, what the fuck?”

Nancy tried to have a measured response, attempting to calm you both, she set her own menu aside, fingers laced together, hands resting on top of the tablecloth. She says your name and then his, “Mickey-” you scrunch your nose, who the fuck is named Mickey? Like the fucking mouse? 

“-I have to make sure this happens. You both know the motive and I figured having two of you would make this better, all the easier. I can be very hands-off and honestly, you are both such great talents. How could I choose just one of you?”

That pissed you off further. You keep your voice hushed, not wanting to be overheard, “It sounds to me more that you don’t think I can handle this myself and that I need some shitty fucking guy’s help to kill.” 

Mickey scoffed, a roll of his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed as he said, “Yeah, you are such an empowered woman who doesn’t need any help to kill. So tough. So strong. If you are so capable, why do you need someone to fund your college career?”

You hated him. Everything about him. His stupid spiky hair, the dumb shade of blue on his sweater, his face, his voice, what he said in tone and also in content. “It’s called a scholarship. I know it’s a big word, you’ve probably never heard it, and what about you? She thinks that YOU need a woman’s help to kill, how sad is that for you?” 

By the way his eyes narrowed, you feel like he doesn't like you either. Good. You don’t want him to. 

The dinner is tense, but you manage to make it through and Nancy makes it clear that if you want to go or if he does that you can, but she will pull her funding and whoever is left will get to do it alone. You don’t back down and neither does he, so you are forced to work together, and you accept this fact with extreme reluctance.

The plan is for you and him to get as close to Sidney and her friends as possible, to insert yourselves and get in the right position at just the right time to make sure that this happens just as Nancy wanted. You did, and you were barely able to restrain your rage against him, it comes out sometimes, everyone else thinks it is an affectionate thing, a long-running joke of both of you disliking each other and exchanging barbs, but no one thought it was serious. 

You had to get used to his presence, but that proved to be difficult, you would sometimes get so riled up after an argument with him that you felt like screaming and ripping your hair out, he got under your skin in the worst way possible. You got to him similarly it seemed, you sometimes knew he left your interactions being the one who could barely reign in his temper, part of you liked getting to him like that. 

Staying away from him and avoiding any time you and Mickey were solo was a must, but sometimes you can’t help it when you are in the same friend group like this. You and he were at the same party and Sidney left to go use the bathroom, and Randy went to go get a drink, and that left you and him in proximity.

You and Mickey were both leaning against the same wall. He speaks first, “Getting real friendly with Sid there.” 

You smile, proud of yourself, you were making a great impression, fantastic progress, you allow yourself to indulge in feeling pride as you agree with his assessment, “Yeah, I am.”

“She seems super invested. You do know that you need more than a low cut shirt to get her fallin’ all over herself for you, right?” He turned to face you, and you turn too as you respond, “Yeah unlike you, I am not a total slut, I am not trying to fuck her.”

“Why not?” He asked, and you laughed into your cup, making sure to keep your voice low enough just for him to hear, “Who am I? Billy Loomis? Gonna fuck her then gut her?” 

He shrugs before taking a sip from his own cup, a swallow before he says casually, “I’ve read your papers in film class, derivative is your whole thing.” 

“Is it now?” You ask and he says, “It is. Taking from someone great, and regurgitating it back out as if it is some amazing new or profound thought, something original all your own, when it very obviously is not.” 

He was such an insufferable asshole. 

You swallow what is left in your cup and then push off the wall, “I need another fucking drink if I am gonna have to be around you.” 

He lets you go. 

After lunch one day you, and he ended up in the same direction, you don’t want to deal with him and so you pick up the pace, walk faster, and he makes sure to speed up too, “Awe where you off to in such a rush? Gonna be late for your gender studies class, princess?” 

“Gross, do not call me that shit.” You say as you adjust your backpack, rolling your eyes before you retort, “You ready to fail that test tomorrow? I know you haven’t been studying.”

His hands are thrown up, eyes skyward and a grin as he says, “Heaven forbid, I wanna enjoy the college experience and make the most of it out and about, not with my nose in a book all the time.” 

“I think you could stand to be a little more well-read, you are painfully fucking dull whenever I am forced to talk to you.” Breaking off for the turn you head towards the building for your next class, he calls after you, “I am so, so hurt. Hey, don’t forget to spell women with a y, you’ll lose points otherwise, okay?” 

He knew just how to really fucking bother you. 

You know how to bother him, too. 

A different day, you and him were meant to have a meeting with Nancy. You were waiting for her to arrive, and he was boasting about how he had gotten in with Randy and Derek, you said, “Finally, took you long enough. It’s weird, though, considering that you are the fucking worst.” 

“I’m the worst?” He asked, and you nod, “Yes you are, I don’t know how you pulled it off, I have seen your acting ability.”

His hand rubs over his eyes as he asks, “You insult my acting ability now? What is wrong with it?” 

“Mickey. Virgin teens faking on prom night are better actors than you are.” 

His jaw drops, brows pinch together, and you pile on before he can respond, “You seem so chummy with Randy though, you blown him yet orrr?”

Nancy walked into you both locked in another augment, and she slammed the door, making you both stop. “Can you please, please, for the love of God, not fight for one day? I know it must be very hard, but do it for me?”

“It isn’t my fault she is such a frigid bitch.” He spits, and you say back, “Rich coming from the school slut, seriously, do you sweat chlamydia?” 

Mickey opens his mouth and Nancy cuts him off, “Please, save it! Can’t you be the bigger person here?”

Mickey doesn’t even look at her, eyes locked with you, he says, “I know you are a real maternal figure, but I am not your fucking son so can you not talk to me like I am?” 

You have to bite back the laugh you were about to bark out, and Nancy was just done, thoroughly over you both and your petty rivalry. “If you both don’t knock it off, I will call off the whole thing!”

That had you and he both turning to her, “You can’t!” 

It is reminiscent of a tired parent on a car trip sick of hearing, “Are we there yet?” and responding with, “I will turn this car around!” When she tells you both, “I can, and I will if you don’t play nice at least in front of me!” 

You and Mickey both know she is serious. You do your best to chill the hell out and just get through this without killing each other. 

The road is long until the first kill is meant to happen. You and he have ebbs and flows of seriously deep hatred, neutral times of acceptance and even an instance or two of actually kind of getting along, at least on the surface. Below that, you still find times of hating each other.

One night after yet another tense meeting, after yet more endless frustration, you and he locked in another fight it happens without you meaning to. Both of you are just too pent-up and when he spits, “I am so tired of you being such a bitch, have you tried loosening up sometimes?”

“How would you recommend I do that in between keeping a low profile, getting closer to Sid and the rest, and keeping my grades up?” He tells you with crossed arms over his chest, “I’d recommend you taking a good dick every once in a while.” 

“Does it always gotta come back to that? Just fuck my stress away and that will fix me?” 

“Why not try it?” And he says it so smugly, something inside just snaps inside of you, leading to you both being in your bed. Your clothes don’t even totally come off, it is a messy hate-fuck, “I knew you wanted me-”

Your teeth sink into his throat, a sharp bite that makes him jerk back, his hips faltering as you respond, “I don’t want you, this means fucking nothing, you mean fucking nothing, okay?”

 “Fine, fuck.” Another roll of his hips pulls a moan from you before he mutters out, “Crazy fucking bitch, just stop biting me.”

A terrible idea hits, and you execute it, a slap to his face as opposed to a bite and it is so shocking, catches him so off guard he has to actively fight the urge to cum. “Better?”

You ask sugary sweet, and he grits out, “I fucking hate you.” 

“I fucking hate you too.”

Hate fucking when the wait for the plan to kick off becomes a somewhat regular occurrence, one neither of you chose to acknowledge unless you were splayed over a surface together.

Currently, you were in Mickey’s place. You and he agreed to head over to a party together to meet up with everyone else, you were in one of those times when you didn’t totally hate his guts, just mostly did, so you could tolerate his presence. You were getting impatient, you were a punctual person, and he was not when it came to things like this. You were tapping your foot on the bottom rung of a stool as you sat at the bar as you waited, calling out to him while he is in his bedroom, “What are you doing in there? Jacking off? I’d like to go sometime this century.” 

“Yeah, I bet you like to think about that.” He called back, and you scoffed, “As fucking if.” 

While you waited, your eyes flitted over the bar, and you noticed there were scattered papers about, you are so bored you start to sift through them, looks like some kind of project he was working on. You look further, wondering what it was, you skim pages and words caught on, “slice” and “blood”.

You start to look further, flip through pages, and you find descriptions of murder, violent kills, strangulation, knives stabbed into warm bodies. You read of terrible brutality and the feelings that are invoked while experiencing it. You become so absorbed in the reading when his hand touches your shoulder, you jump nearly a foot in the air, heart hammering. 

“Catching up on some reading?” He asked with a grin, and you roll your eyes as you shake off his hand, “Creep.” 

“Says the girl who is currently rummaging through MY shit.”  Your eyes are back on the papers, ignoring what he said, and instead you ask, “What even is all this? Some fucked up project for a class?”

He takes the seat on the stool next to you, “It’s my work before coming to school.”

Your eyes go wide, you look at him, “Wait is this-”

He brightens further, “A scrapbook, yeah! I was rearranging it before you showed up, got a bit too into it, lost track of time, so I couldn’t clean it up before you came in, and then you were fucking rushing me-” 

“Holy fucking shit, you have a scrapbook of your previous kills?” You flip through, detailed accounts, pictures, small souvenirs, more still. It was amazing but also infuriating, how the fuck did you never think to do something like this? Most you had was scrawled out diary entries post kill, but this was truly in depth, a testament to his commitment to wielding a knife and bringing pain.

He leans closer, starts pointing out particular details, and you have to admit, an impressive body of work, clear effort put forth into this catalogue of violence. “She was the first. She was in my math class in high school, the kind of girl who thought she was way too good for everyone, you know the type.” 

His eyes meet yours, a taunting smile, and you find yourself letting out a laugh. He kept talking, and you kept listening until he says, “You are being awfully quiet.”

“Am I not allowed to be quiet?” You ask, and he laughs, “No. It just isn’t like you, normally you make your opinions very painfully known.”

You sighed, “I just can’t get over what a good idea this is, I’m fucking pissed I didn’t think of it myself.” You admit, and he laughed louder, “I got one up on you and you admit it? Fuck, it is a good night.” He gets up, collects the papers and puts them in the open box nearby. You try to stop him, “Wait, where are you going?”

You ask as he takes the box back to his room, and he says, “We have a party to get to, remember? I’ll let you read it in full another time for you to cream yourself over, alright?” 

Yeah, sure, cream yourself over is what you’d do. You are simply curious about his work before you both met, you liked getting a feel for him and what he had done, it only makes sense since you are going to work together. He comes back and you both leave, but that night you had to admit is what started the shift, you started to look at Mickey a bit differently, had more respect for him. He obviously had skills to back up his talk, it was a comfort as well as just nice to get to know him on this level. No one else understood that side of you, getting to talk with someone else who has killed, he understands the depth, the complexity and more, you didn’t know how nice it would be.

After that night, you and he talk some more about it, his kills and yours, it is bonding, and it goes from hating each other and somewhat tolerating to being more like co-workers. A different night you were in your dorm room alone and both going over what your pasts. He showed you his newly minted scrap book, and you read aloud from your diary about how your first date ended in your killing the guy. 

“How often have you gotten blood in your mouth?” He asks, and you gagged jokingly, “Too many times! You never think that it is gonna spray like that until the first time you slash a throat, right?”

“Seriously. Okay, okay. Least favourite part?” He asked, and you groaned, “Disposal, dead weight is such a bitch at times. Once a guy almost got away from me, I cornered and killed him at the bottom of some stairs, but once he was dead I had to drag him back UP those same stairs.” 

“Fuck, how did you do it?” He genuinely asked, and you tell him, “With ropes and determination. How about you?” He hums, “My least favourite part has to be when the chase goes on for too long. Nothing worse than being winded before you even get the knife in them, feel like I can’t enjoy it properly, and I hate to do a rush job like that. It’s like the option is taken from me.”

“Lack of control is truly the worst.” You agree. 

While you felt closer, a small kinship as well as more mutual understanding, Mickey could still be a bit much at times, you still clashed on occasion, but those times were becoming fewer and further between. It makes the path to the plan easier. You study on occasion, able to have meals together, Nancy is pretty pleased you’d both calmed down, and you find yourself consumed with regular daily life. The hate fucking isn’t so hateful and has also slowed considerably to a near stop.

When you got the go ahead, you and he were giddy. Alight. It caused one of the worst fights you had with him where you insisted that you be the first one to kill, you wanted to show that you could, prove yourself and also, it had been so, so fucking long since you had. Eventually, Nancy sides with you but insists Mickey be nearby in case shit goes screwy, and you can deal with that. 

You revel in it. The phone call, the break in, the case and the actual kill. You being on top of her, stabbing her, running her through with one hand as your other is over her mouth. She struggles and whines, and you feel powerful, watching the light drain from her eyes the same way the blood does. 

Perhaps you linger just a touch too long, but you just can’t help it. Mickey comes to get you, urge you out, and then he sees it, the aftermath. You still sitting on top of her in your costume, the knife to the hilt inside of her, and you turn, ghostly white mask with small spots of red and his breath catches. He read your accounts, you’d talked in depth, he’d killed people himself, but this, seeing it, you, post kill, was a totally different animal. 

You pull off your mask, hair a mess, face sweaty with the effort, a manic smile as you ask, “What’s up?”

He lingers by the door of the balcony you were on, stuck in the threshold, the sliding glass was acting like a metaphorical doorway as much as a physical one, a turning point, one that cannot be forgotten or ignored. A shifting tide, your relationship, how he viewed you, permanently changed. His mouth feels dry, he swallows and says, “We have to go.”

“Shit, yeah, you’re right, just got a little uh-” You look down at the body, pull the knife out and drive it in one last time, you sound gleeful, “-stab happy.” 

The laugh spills from you both unbidden and then, you flee the scene of the crime. Costumes stowed in bags and knife hastily wiped down. He couldn’t stop looking at you after that night. Every time he saw you, it was like you went from black and white static to live and in colour, as if he was seeing you for the first time, truly seeing you. He had it and had it so fucking badly for you, it was embarrassing. 

You could get him, understand him on levels no one else could or probably ever would. 

Mickey started treating you differently. You think it is because of what he saw, he finally was respecting you and sure it was part of it, but much more than you could have realized went into it. He was being much more than pleasant to be around, he was nice, fun to be around, he wasn’t an asshole like previously and slowly, much, much too slowly, after many meals bought, coffees given and notes shared you figure out that you think, he has a crush on you. It slips through even when with your “friends” and it doesn’t go unnoticed. Especially because he doesn’t hide it. He is kind, he flirts shamelessly, he makes his wants and intentions known.

You don’t know how to deal with or process that. 

So you don’t.

You let him treat you better, you feel previous hate and anger melt, but you write it off as friendship, nothing wrong with that considering what you were doing. You take his compliments with a smile, you laugh off his over the top promises of “I’d be so, so good to you.” with a wave of your hand.

The plan continues on, stretches out from days to weeks, Nancy claims she wants Sidney to really suffer, and you aren’t going to question or complain. 

The next kill is up to Mickey, you weren’t able to be there, but you got to see him after. Amped the fuck-up and excited, he told you about it all, how it went. “He was so pathetic, you should have seen him, begging for his life, crawling on the ground, oh my God.” 

You watched him pace back and forth, animated hand gestures, his t-shirt was sticking to him from the sweat, your eyes aren’t sure where to linger, defined arm muscles or that wide sick smile. He flops onto the couch beside you, a large exhale, “It was fucking incredible.” 

“And what are you feeling like, right now?” You asked as you looked down at him, and he says as his head pitches to look up at you, “I am feeling fucking starving. You want to order in a pizza?”

So you did. You ate sprawled on the floor and talked about the fact everything was meant to ramp up soon, that you and he were expected to both go in hard within the next few weeks. 

It still goes on, you and both grow closer, another kill here, one there until finally there is a night where you have to murder together. The talking beforehand is frantic, both planning what was going to happen, honestly excited to do this together. You and Mickey started off hating each other's guts, but that seems so far away now, you and he were actually good friends and a united front on this plan.

It doesn’t go well at first.

The struggle is hard, you and he almost lose the two people you were planning on killing, but you manged it. Watching Mickey up close, not only that but you both doing this together, it makes something in you and your perception of him change. It is startlingly intimate, you are so in the moment, weirdly in sync with very little verbal communication, at one point you are gutting one of them while he holds them down and even through the masks, you know your eyes are locked, you can’t see his gaze, but you feel it. 

It’s then. Between the smell of blood, the sweat making your black robe stick to you, over the screams of your shared victims, that all of it hits you.

It all comes crashing in, you thought he was the only one with a crush, with deeper feelings, that is not the case. You’ve come to realize that you have feelings for him too, deep and intense, scary and all consuming feelings, you care about Mickey and more than as a friend, a fellow killer, a partner in crime. You like him. Old memories flow through your mind now tinged differently, a highlight reel of neon recollection, synapses sparking, forcing you back, dragging you along to really look at those moments in the new light and context of your now fully exposed feelings. Raw and wriggling and out in the open air for you to contend with, screaming for acceptance and to be dealt with in some fucking fashion.

You had liked him for a long while and were far too stubborn and stupid to realize it. And you can’t ignore it any longer.

Snapped back into the moment you are staring. His strong gloved hands around the bitch’s throat, you can see the power he has, the way his arms strain from the effort, you can’t look away. 

Once it was over, once they are both dead, you and he had to separate, and it made your mind run. You were so nervous, you trusted him completely now.

You knew Mickey was more than capable, but still, the thought of him actually being caught, you don’t know how you’d handle it. The sudden change steals your breath, you feel crushed by your new feelings, the unexpected care you feel for him.

The emotions run high during a kill night on the best of times, but the rough and rocky start, the joined act of killing, the fact the police presence as stepped up, it all mixes together. You were worried, very fucking worried, and that makes you terrified. 

When you come back to the meeting point, he is already there, his mask is taken off, and you hastily remove your own. Staring across the space at each other, heavy breathing, and the look in his eyes upon meetings yours, he knows. He knows you feel differently now, and it can be felt in the air. You stride forward first as you exhale out, “Thank fuck you’re okay-”

As soon as you are close enough Mickey’s hands are on the sides of your face, pulling you to him and his mouth crashing into yours, swallowing you up in him, preventing you from speaking, stealing all words, you return his affection hastily, clumsily and with a moan of relief. Even during all your hate fucking, it wasn’t like this. There were no presses of your mouth to his, the only times your mouths were used were to bite, cause pain, or on occasion give each other some truly rough but brutal oral sex. 

You are greedy, need to make up for lost time. You kiss him hard, want to make him as breathless as you are, more than the chase made him. You and he end up on the couch in his place. Costumes are long forgotten on the floor. His hands wander, touch you all over, help pull clothes away and aside, “I’ve been thinking about this so fucking much.”

A laugh slips out as you straddle him, helping him out of his shirt and throwing it aside, “Yeah Mickey?”

He takes in the view of you in just your pants and bra perched on his thighs, his hands run up your sides, fingers press over an already flowering bruise left from when one of your murder victims kneed you in the ribs. You hiss slightly, a sharp intake of air from the stab of pain, you retaliate, fingers in his hair, you thread, twist and pull. He gasps, smile widens, and he nods as much as you allow, “Yeah, been thinking about you just like this.” 

“Just like this?” You grind on his lap, bare down on his clothed erection, short muted sounds of pleasure leave you both as you lose yourselves in the action, the friction before he manages to get out, “Almost, there are no clothes in the way, and I am buried deep again in that sweet fucking cun-”

You pull even harder and his sentence breaks off with a groan as you prompt him. “Stop talking and start doing.” 

He was losing it. Normally whenever he hooked up with people he was sure, in total control, but you got the drop on him. He should know better, especially after all the previous very violent hook-ups. 

At first, he was on top, or rather, he was trying to be, but all of a sudden a leg was around his hip and hands were on his broad chest pushing him until he fell onto his ass, back propped up on the arm rest of the couch. You settle into his lap quickly, straddling him and then lowering yourself, taking him deep, to the hilt, before he could protest. The moan leaves him on an exhalation at feeling how soaked and hot you are. His hands are on your hips, and he rocks up into you once before your hands are in his hair once more. Fingers thread anew, wrap around and twist before pulling, it makes his eyes shoot open, a harsh inhale from the pain, brows knitted together in confusion when you tell him firmly, "Stay fucking still. This is for me right now, not you."

He is shocked, stunned, your tone so harsh, leaving no room for argument, and you start to move, hips rise and fall as you ride him for all he's worth.

You look fucking stunning, gorgeous, and you feel even better. 

He didn’t know he could be so into this, but he thinks it is because it’s you. He has seen you kill, seen how capable and powerful you are, he is so fucking into you, feels so deeply for you, he thinks you could carve your name into his flesh and he’d beg for more. The praise tumbles out between groan and gasps, timed with the falls and of your hips, the rolls of your body, and it makes you laugh breathy, “You are really into this.” 

“Been a, fuck, while.” He confesses, and you slow your hips, “Mickey, have you kept it in your pants? Stopped fucking half the student body?”

You knew he was seeing other people in between your fucking for a while, but when you and he stopped, did he not get his fill elsewhere? He shrugs, tries to seem unbothered, but it’s hard when his hands are gripping your hips so tightly, browns pinched together, you clench on him and his head is thrown back against the arm rest of the couch. Sweat is down his temple, tendons in his throat as he swallows thickly, “Been busy.”

It is all he can force out. This is serious. Mickey the slut stopped screwing anyone else because he was crushing on you so severely. He did really like you, holy shit. Not an act at all, he was so consumed with you that fucking other people wasn’t something he wanted. 

The emotion radiating off him is filling you, bleeding back into you, and you let it take you without trying to show it too heavily. You fucking care about him, you really fucking do. 

Your hand below your waist, quick fingers bring you to your peak twice in short succession as you ride him before he finds his own high. The first time is frantic, needy, more about getting it out of your systems after so long without. It is undeniably satisfying and thoroughly enjoyable. 

The next time happens that same night. With reheated Chinese and in his bed. You talked about it all, how the kill that night went and in the process worked yourself up once more and made the shower you shared after your time on the couch utterly pointless from how sweaty you got again. 

After that night, you were together. You and he often fucked, maybe more than you should, but you just could not get enough. You’d been so busy that you hadn’t really fucked anyone other than him since getting here over a year ago. Times in your dorm or his, shared showers, traded oral in places that you shouldn’t like between library stacks. Once you had sex in the band pit of the theatre, your hands over his mouth and his over yours as you worked to keep quiet, him thrusting up into you, and you are slamming down on him as you worked each other over, bringing him and yourself to Earth shattering pleasure. 

Both of you kept it more hush, hush, but another secret just added to it. You didn’t run from your feelings, nor did you attempt to hide how into him, you were. The dates squeezed in everywhere you could also try to make up for your stubborn bullshit earlier. Affection was, often, moments of tenderness and vulnerability in private were shared. 

There is a moment that you keep coming back to. 

Another kill. You and he are blood splattered, you had a quickie next to the body, a rushed moment of passion with you pushed over a desk. Your legs were shaking from the strength of the orgasm he fucked out of you. Over the past while you’d gotten much more comfortable with him taking control, it wasn’t a fight for dominance, it was shared responsibility that you give into as often as he does. His cum was leaking out into your panties that you had just pulled back into place. You were heaving, body slick, and resting for a moment when he comes around the desk. His mask is pulled up, and he leans down, gloved hands come to your face, one hand holds the knife in his leather clad grip, the other holds your cheek. You feel the knife handle against the opposite side, and he moves in, he kisses your forehead half-in-half-out of his killer garb, and you melt. You smile up at him and he returns it. 

The lies and secrecy shouldn’t turn you on like this. Lying to Sidney and everyone else, the high you are both on from so far getting away with it is immense. You and he are too perfect of a fit.

It’s the day of. You and he are about to head out when the urge strikes. “Hey-“ Your hand quickly reached out and grabs his wrist, pulling him back from the door, so he was stood facing you again. His hand dropped to your waist, and he smiled down at you, that stupid damn devastating smile you used to hate that you now couldn’t see yourself living without, “- before we do this, there’s something I wanna tell you. Just in case.” 

He noticed you looked almost nervous, weight shifting from one foot to the other, he had never seen this emotion on your face before, and he knew exactly what was coming before you took a deep, unsteady breath and opened your mouth to speak again. “I lo-”

“Don’t.” He said quickly, eyes wide, raising his hand to place it over your mouth, an action you had both done to each other God knows how many times in a much different context. “Save it. Tell me after we’ve won, okay?”

You rolled your eyes slightly, prying his fingers away from your mouth. “God, you’re such an overdramatic dork, Mickey. Okay.”

It was stupid. You shouldn’t have listened to him. You should have said it.

You and he and Nancy were in the theatre with Sidney. The monologue was underway, big speeches, reveals, shock and awe. You’d been watching from afar, waiting for your cue to come in, when it happens all too quickly. Sidney made Nancy so angry so fast, unable to control herself, and she points the gun and with a simple move of her finger, the trigger is pulled and all of a fucking sudden just like that night your world is coming crashing in. He wasn’t expecting it, the bullet holes in his chest pour blood out rapidly. 

You are frozen in place. Rooted to the spot. You watch as his body falls. Here then gone. Stole from you in a single moment, no time to react, nothing to do, no time to process either. He was ripped from you, and it takes a moment for everything to come back into focus. Sidney and Nancy are struggling, and you find the strength. 

You move. 

The weapon in your hand is used on Sidney, not the way you’d intended to, the butt of your own gun is smacked full force on the back of her head. You knock her out and let her fall to the stage. You are left standing there with Nancy, who is wondering what you are doing. You are holding up the gun, pointing it straight at her, questioning her in the same way, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

“Why are you pointing that at me?” She asked in seeming disbelief, and you scoff, “Why do you think?! I heard you! I heard what you said, I watched you shoot Mickey, I know you want me dead next, right? Clean up the loose ends?”

You spit it at her with vitriol before you do your best impression of her annoying voice during her speech to Sidney, “There was a big scuffle, and you-” your foot kicking Sidney’s boot for emphasis, gesturing down to her with your other hand, “-shoot Mickey-”

Saying it makes you sob. Tears start to stain your cheeks, “I cannot believe you! Bringing us here, making us do your dirty work, and you were planning on killing us the whole fucking time!” 

“What, did you really think that he’d get away with it? His big plan about blaming the movies? What jury would believe that-” She shouts, and you stomp your foot, “Shut the fuck up, that isn’t the point!” You weren’t going to tolerate her speaking ill of him, not while he is still bleeding out in the band pit, you kept talking, “You double-crossed us!”

Your gun moves down, and you shoot, getting her in the knee. She crumples under the weight of her own body. She is on the ground, and she is the one sobbing in short order. You make your way to her, you step onto her busted knee, grinding your boot down into it and revelling in her anguished screams. Blood gushes and you still are not satisfied. You sink down, you lay into her. First the gun across her face, teeth are knocked out, displaced and rattle as they roll across the wooden stage. 

You hit her again and again, next the gun is dropped, your hand takes over, punching her, nose breaks, cartilage cracks, bones snap, she is coughing and wheezing and weak. Your knife is removed from the holster stored in your boot, and you hold it to her throat, “You are such a stupid fucking bitch.”

She was delirious, and you slammed her head against the stage, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Her eyes are unfocused, but they are on you, “This is your fault. You are going to die, but you didn’t have to. You killed him first, and now I’m gonna kill you.”

The response is weak from her dry cracked lips, “Why?”

“Why?” You asked, a bitter laugh, you hold the knife closer to her throat, “Dumb cunt wants to know why? Sure, I can tell you.” 

A deep inhale before you say, “You brought me here under false pretenses, made me work with one of the most annoying and insufferable people I have ever met in my life, forced me to be around him and in the process made me realize that…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it, but you instead say, “-That I care about him. That I needed someone else who could truly understand me on this level, who cared, who showed me how I deserved to be fucking treated and then, you just…You kill him, snuff him out, like he was nothing!”

You feel the tears falling again, “After all we’ve done to make your fucked up dream of a revenge plot come true, and you expect me to just lie down and take it when you kill him?!”

You can’t see her properly, not through how watery your eyes were. A steadying breath before you say, “And the way you did it. With a gun? It is insulting! Where is the intimacy? The care? The artistry, if he had to die by murder, he deserved better! Do you care about the art form at all?!”

You are tired of her, the anger and sadness had been bubbling up, it all comes to a head and bursts, the knife slices through her throat, she is choking on her blood when you tell her, “I’m not playing along, I’m not doing your stupid plot, not anymore. I’m rewriting it, Sidney’s gonna live.”

You don’t stop there. The knife is forced into her over and over. By the time you are done, her stupid white unflattering white suit is stained completely red. 

Getting up from the complete mess, you look over your shoulder, Sidney is still passed out. This is your chance to run, but you can’t. Not yet.

Your steps are tentative, your knees hurt from how long you were on them while hunched over Nancy’s body while you were killing her. Your hands shake, and you peek over the edge of the stage and see him down there, amongst upturned band chairs, and your breath is stolen. You and he hooked up down there weeks prior, and now he was down there, looking wrong, totally fucking wrong. He looks lonely, and you hate that, you move quickly, one hand on the edge of the stage, and you jump down, it hurts your ankles from the height, you don’t care. 

You stay there with him. You cling to him, you are reminded of that conversation, your least favourite. Dead weight. Quickly going cold, lifeless eyes staring up, past you, to some point on the ceiling, unseeing. You let yourself cry. You want to say it, tell him the depth of your feeling want to force the words out, you want to tell him you love him, but now it doesn’t feel right at all. He should have been able to hear those words from you while he was alive, while you still had a shot at a future together, whatever it would have looked like.You let yourself say this at the very least. 

“You were right…” You sniff, you wipe at your cheeks and say, “The time we had was short but fuck. You were so good to me. I should have let you be good to me sooner. I should have been better to you, too.” The next words sit heavy on your tongue, no matter how much you want to they are left unsaid, and you make yourself leave him. 

Before you do, there is one thing that feels necessary, like you have to. Hands cradle his face, one hand still holding the knife, and you lean down, you press a blood stained kiss to his forehead, near his hairline just like he did to you before. A mirror of that previous act of tenderness on a scarlet tinged afternoon but so much sadder because it was the last moment like this you’d ever have with him and again still, it was totally wrong. He can’t feel it, because he’s dead.

You get up and with one last forlorn look to him, you run. 

Sidney wakes up unscathed but dazed, Mickey dead and Nancy too. You hadn’t revealed yourself, she hadn’t seen you, Nancy and Mickey hadn’t made mention of you, you’d been wearing gloves and there was none of your blood or DNA at the finale’ site, so you got away with it. They think the last person is still at large, but they have no clue who. 

Your sadness is understandable, your real grief is able to be spread around, it is believable that it is for Hallie and Derek and everyone else but Mickey on the surface. You and Sidney drift apart. You tell her it’s too hard and she more than understands, she was initially suspicious at first, but you were too good an actor, your alibis too well planned and airtight. 

The unmarked account that your tuition came out of was still full. You intend to transfer to a different college next semester. You can’t stay here, the idea of graduating from here without Mickey is horrible. You need a new state, a new school, a fresh chance to try and attempt to move on. It’s after winter break at that new school that you meet. 

The events happened over a year ago, and you were still not doing good. Still sad, you wonder how you can ever process this pain, this total loss, no way can you talk about it, no way another person could ever understand. 

Until that is one fateful day, you get a knock at your apartment door. You answer it and standing in front of you is a ghost, one person who you thought, just like everyone else, was dead, and maybe, perhaps, the only one who can relate to you. 

Brows furrowed and gripping the door, so your legs won’t buckle, you asked nervously, in total shock and disbelief, “Stu Macher?”

He grinned with a point to himself, “That’s me. Can I come in?”

[transmutationisms]

been thinking it for a while but it is both an interesting and frightening thing to see more and more people in their 20s who are usually self-professed hard-leftist progressives get more and more into emotionally-driven, kneejerk 'takes' about how everything new to them is bad and evil and 'this generation' (usually people younger than them who they seem to base all their opinions on from some teens dumb tiktoks they see) is stupid and doomed and the world/'our culture' is constantly degenerating, etc. many of the people who think of themselves as radical leftists are coming out with more and more barely-formed, incoherent and emotionally-driven reactionary ideas, and respond to any criticism of these ideas with defensive appeals to disgust or a general sense of 'everyone just knows this is bad!', bypassing needing to think over their own ideas or articulate the reasons they hold them entirely in favor of reactive outrage.

it feels to me like were watching in real-time how many of us will progressively turn into reactionary liberals or right-wingers - something many of these people have observed in older people, in their parents, but believe will simply not happen to them on account of having good intentions and progressive views, which they think means they dont need to watch themselves for impulsive, reactionary thinking, and even that their kneejerk reaction to anything is automatically the correct one because they themselves are already inherently good. of course it starts with generally inconsequential takes, its not like saying 'the tiles are ugly' automatically makes you a right-winger, but i reckon the festering of such modes of thinking shows the cracks in the foundation of many peoples professed political and social beliefs.

point being, i think there certainly are discussions to be had about the ways architecture - both as a tool that serves a material need and a form of art - changes, and what we may be losing to capitalist priorities on that front, but if the only argument people are making are "its ugly and degenerates our once beautiful culture" and their defense to anyone addressing how that sounds ends at "well its still ugly!", im thinking that kind of reactionary opinion-forming is going to seep into other, more important matters sooner than they may think. sorry for the long ask!

yeah i mean i definitely don't think this is a new problem or a generational one, it's just liberal idealism, but yes this is exactly why this type of aesthetic discourse irritates me so much lol. like i've said this before in regards to clothing but aesthetic signifiers gain their meaning in a social context and conditionally. if your analysis is "it's ugly and therefore bad" you're not only attenuating an actual read of what's being signified and why, you're also just veering directly into the most boring ass "everything is worse now and change threatens me" conservatism. the idea that ugliness and beauty are not transhistorical or transcendental truths should ideally be like, a starting point to both questioning other socially mediated constructs and to then moving toward a theory of asethetics as products of social discourses and economic conditions but instead people just cannot ever fucking resist yelling about how much beige or concrete or whatever the fuck is "soulless" or "lacks artistry" agabshxhsg it's so fucking cornball. get over yourself

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain (Part II)

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, abuse, religious themes, ect.

THOROUGHFARE

You knew you had to see it all.

You had to get out and go chasin' its sweet call.

Don't run, I'll take you anywhere.

Hey, do you wanna see thе west with me?

Lovе's out there and I can't leave it be.

Love's never meant much to me.

I'll come with you if you're sure it's what you need.

Every small town diner saw our faces at least once or twice.

I started to see you differently.

For the first time since I was a child, I could see a man who wasn't angry.

It's been a long damn time since I left.

Now that I met you, I finally know just where I'm headin'.

You got lost in it and yet you found yourself. We finally reached the edge after all this time.

I didn't find my love, but I still made it this far without it.

Maybe not, 'cause look at what I've got.

You might not be my love, but, baby, I doubt it.

In your pickup truck with all of your dumb luck is the only place I think I'd ever wanna be.

GIBSON GIRL

You wanna love me right now.

You wanna get alone with me.

You wanna get my clothes off.

You came alone to me from however far away.

You're all the same.

He's cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed.

Obsession with the money, addicted to the drugs.

Says he's in love with my body, that's why he's fucking it up.

I can be immoral in a stranger's lap.

Something they all want that only you can have.

You wanna fuck me right now.

You wanna see me on my knees.

You wanna rip these clothes off.

If you hate me, please don't tell me.

I would show you something you can never have.

PTOLEMAEA

I followed you in.

I was with you there.

You love blood too much.

You’d do wеll to say yes to me.

Suffering is nigh.

Even the iron still fears the rot.

Hiding from something I cannot stop.

I can't lead him back.

You poor thing.

There's nothing you can do.

It's already been done.

Show me your face.

Please don't look at me.

I can see it in your eyes.

Tell me, what have you done?

Make it stop, I've had enough.

I am the face of love's rage.

I am no good nor evil, simply I am.

I am here now as you run from me still.

You can't hide from me forever.

SUN BLEACHED FLIES

They talk all about that money and how their babies are always changing while they're breathing in the poison of the paint.

God loves you, but not enough to save you.

Good luck taking care of yourself.

That's how my daddy raised me.

If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard.

In the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, then this heart would break and fall as twice as far.

We all know how it goes.

The more it hurts, the less it shows.

I still feel like they all know, and that's why I can never go back home.

I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines.

God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fight.

I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me.

I just prayed and I keep praying.

If it's meant to be then it will be.

I met him there and told him I believe.

I forgive it all as it comes back to me.

I can't let go when something's broken.

It's all I know and it's all I want now.

STRANGERS

Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love.

You devour like smoked bovine hide.

I never considered myself tough.

You're so handsome, walking over to me.

I tried to be good.

Am I no good?

My memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence.

I just wanted to be yours.

Can I be yours?

Just tell me I'm yours.

We'll make love in your attic all night.

Euphoric in some strange delight.

I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be.

You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth.

Am I making you feel sick?

Found you just to tell you that I made it real far.

I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did.

While you were torn apart, I would still wait with you there.

Don't think about it too hard, or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.

Just know that I love you.

I'll see you when you get here.

[tgmsunmontue]

You need to learn how to fall 7/10

Hangster (and IceMav) - Bradley is too tall to be a naval aviator and instead becomes a sky diver, specialising in spin recovery. He is a civilian contractor to the military to teach pilots how to survive parachute spins from ejections. A more in-depth version of this post.

PROLOGUE 2003-2006 2007-2010 2011-2015 2016+ ~2019

>>Bradley

>>Jake

                The messages start off sporadic, and he’s unsure how to respond, which tone he should use, because there’s the casual work-related and simply friendly messages, then there’s the flirty ones, and then, then, there’s downright pornographic messages going into detail what Jake would like to do to him. With him. He’s never backed off a challenge though and he can go toe-to-toe so he sends back an equal mix of messages, some bland and mundane, others his innermost fantasies. They’re soon messaging multiple times a day, sleepy early-morning selfies, photos of lunches, short videos.

…             …             …

>>You don’t walk like a man in the Navy, your hips have this roll to them and it drives me fucking wild watching it.

…             …             …

>>Had a jump today, someone passed out while falling. Scariest fucking thing I’ve dealt with in a while.

…             …             …

                A package arrives after about three months, and Bradley hadn’t mentioned sending him anything, but he knows it’s not from his mom. Bradley had mentioned helping bake some shortbread, lemon and rosemary; Jake had said he’d love to try it sometime and now… if he’s not mistaken, there are some sitting in a little container on his kitchen bench and he gets to try some. There’s a return address and he quickly adds it to the information under Bradley’s contact in his phone. The shortbread is delicious and he sends a quick selfie to Bradley of him taking a bite with the words thank you underneath.

…             …             …

>>Teaching has given me a new appreciation for how dumb some people are. I feel like I need to go and apologize to my high school teachers.

…             …             …

>>Your tongue drives me to distraction. When you’re flicking a toothpick I can’t help but wonder what you’d do with my cock.

…             …             …

>>Have I told you recently how much I don’t like sweet potato?

…             …             …

                Jake hasn’t had this much fun flirting with someone in a long time, just this continuous banter back and forth. It hasn’t reverted to dick-pics or sexting or anything more than some pretty explicit messages sent and received out of the blue. Younger him would have been impatient, but he’s now enjoying the journey. Looks forward to the little peeks into Bradley’s day just as much as he looks forward to reading how he might turn Bradley on. It’s all sorts of sweet and different and he can’t wait to see Bradley again.

…             …             …

>>Can I take you out to dinner next time you’re in town?

>>Think I’d be pretty disappointed if you didn’t.

…             …             …

                Ice calls him, tells him Mav is missing and his entire world freezes. They know nothing for certain, but he was flying, and then… something classified which Ice can’t divulge, but then he’s saying Mav might be alive, but simply lost, but they have no idea where and Bradley cannot fucking deal with this right now. He’s the one with PLBs sewn into his fucking jump-suits, he cannot believe the US Navy hasn’t done something similar for one of their pilots, let alone an entire fucking plane. How do they lose a pilot and a plane? Then Ice sends him a link to an unexplained explosion and he’s glad he’s already sitting down. Fuck. He thinks he might throw up.

                Then Ice is standing in the doorway, phone pressed to his ear, expression serious as he nods and says something Bradley cannot hear through the thick air he feels surrounded by.

                “He’s alive.”

                His heart beats.

                Slowly the air returns to something less solid and he can breathe again.

                “Thank fuck. God, I could kill him.”

                “Get in line… think I just aged another decade.”

                “You look good for a man nearing his second century, what with all the extra decades Mav must have added…”

                “I definitely feel that old some days.”

…             …             …

                Bradley’s time to return to Corpus Christi is quickly approaching and he’s feeling excited to see him again. He’s not expecting the papers that he’s handed, he’s mid-assignment, not expecting sudden redeployment and he opens them slowly.

                A special detachment.

                Advice to visit any family with two days of special leave.

                What the fuck.

                He’d otherwise be excited and rearing to go, but Bradley is meant to be flying into Corpus Christi in forty-eight hours. They’re meant to be getting dinner. The irony that he’s got to report to North Island in four days isn’t lost on him. Fuck. Can they not catch a break? Whatever this special detachment is, is going to be risky, otherwise the strong suggestion of visiting family wouldn’t be there coupled with the leave in which to make it happen.

                He has a choice.

                He could skip over seeing his family just to see Bradley. Or he could wait another couple of weeks because Bradley will be in North Island after his two weeks in Corpus Christi finishes. He might not be in North Island in two weeks, but he might never see his family again and as much as he wants to see Bradley, he needs to see his family.

                Fuck this mature adult bullshit.

                He picks up his phone and presses call, something they’ve never done before and it might break his resolve but he doesn’t want to put this through text on a screen.

                “Hi… This is new.”

                “Hi,” Jake says, and Bradley sounds good, relaxed and happy. So good.

                “What are you up to?”

                “Nothing. You?”

                “I’m about to get in a plane and jump out of it with a person strapped to me.”

                “You know, I think I might want to try it some time,” he says, and he means it, thinks he’d enjoy the rush, and the idea of being strapped to Bradley also holds a certain appeal.

                “Yeah? You let me know the time and place and I’ll take you up.”

                “Really?”

                “Of course. And I don’t want to rush you, but was there a special reason for a call? I’m kind of on a time crunch.”

                “Yeah. I just got new orders.”

                “Oh?”

                “I’ve been called in for a special detachment, and you would not believe where I’m going. At least to start with…”

                “North Island…”

                “Yeah.”

                “Talk about crap timing.”

                “Yeah. I’ve been given special leave to visit family,” Jake says, and he has no idea if Bradley knows what that might mean. He knows his dad was a pilot, but he’s been dead since Bradley was a toddler and he’s only had Bradley refer to his uncles raising him.

                “Fuck.”

                Okay. He knows.

                “I mean, I could stay here –”

                “No. Jake. You have to go and see your family. If they’ve granted you that leave it’s for a damned good reason. Fuck. Okay. So. I might see you in North Island after all. If you’re here in a couple of weeks that is…”

                “Yeah. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”

                “Only the US Navy.”

…             …             …

                His family are happy to see him, his mom organizing a quick family gathering and he’s grateful for the opportunity to see as many of his extended family as possible, although he hates the niggling in the back of his mind that resolves into telling his mom to take lots of photos. She looks close to tears, but she does as he asks, and his father grips his shoulder every time he brushes past. They all know what special leave means.

…             …             …

                He savors the messages more now, studies each of the photos that Jake sends him, asks questions about the other people in the photos. Even has a video call when Jake’s parents apparently insist on meeting whoever it is that Jake keeps messaging. Every moment he’s not intent on teaching and training he’s messaging Jake, hoping that he stays in North Island long enough for him to get back there and scared he won’t be.

…             …             …

                Jake’s been in North Island for ten days, and it’s been intense. Terrifying with what is expected of them, but still so exhilarating. This is why he became a naval aviator, why he worked so hard. There are just other things he’s realized he’d also like in his life. He looks at the house and it’s far bigger than he imagined Bradley having. Or needing. Maybe he shares with some others. The lights are on, he can see someone moving around inside and his stomach won’t stop swooping in anticipation. He knows Bradley gets in this evening, although he’s not sure of the exact time; not wanting to ask specifics for fear of showing his hand, wants to surprise him and also doesn’t want to wait longer before seeing him again.

                Jakes wipes his hands on his jeans, nervous. He’s gone from wanting something quick and dirty with Bradley to wanting… well, he still wants quick and dirty, he’s not a eunuch, however he also wants to take him to dinner and listen to him talk passionately about military free fall physics. Wants to bring him coffee the mornings after the quick and dirty. And its mornings plural, because he’s realized over the last few months (and maybe years?) that once is likely not going to be enough. Feel the fear and do it anyway, that’s how the saying goes right?

                He knocks on the door and waits, imagines what Bradley might be wearing, the look on his face as Jake surprises him with his appearance on his doorstep rather than at dinner tomorrow.

                He does not imagine Captain Maverick Mitchell. Although he definitely looks surprised.

                “Lieutenant. What are you doing here?”

                “Uh. Captain Mitchell.”

                “Yes. How did you get this address?”

                “Uh. I’m looking for Doctor Bradshaw.”

                “Bradley? Why?”

                Jake purses his lips, shrugs and nods because at least it’s Bradley he’s looking for. It’s a good sign that Maverick at least knows who he’s talking about, but that he called him by his first name is a bit unnerving. Maverick still looks just as confused to see him and Jake’s trying to formulate the best way to say he’s just here to see Bradley…

                “I just wanted to see him, sir.”

                Maverick stares at him for an age that just seems to drag before his eyes widen with potential realization and Jake hopes he doesn’t blush.

                “Oh. I didn’t realize you knew Bradley…”

                “Pete, who is it?”

                Holy shit.

                Admiral Kazansky.

                Jake swallows. Whose house is this? Maybe Bradshaw is currently staying with them as a guest? Maybe he’s been given the wrong address as a prank? That would be pretty humiliating. And cruel given that it’s in front of his CO and the COMPACFLT. But he can’t be a guest if he calls San Diego home. He didn’t think Bradley was cruel, had felt that their back-and-forth texting and phone calls were building toward something. But he only threw Maverick out of the Hard Deck ten nights ago and Bradley unintentionally gave him this address nearly two months ago. Maybe he’s moved? His brain can't make sense of anything.

                “Lieutenant.”

                He’s not in uniform, and Admiral Kazansky knows his face enough to know who he is and his rank. He has no idea how to feel about that.

                “Admiral Kazansky sir.”

                “He’s after Bradley,” Maverick provides, and he’s stepping away from the front door, like he’s inviting Jake in, but Jake can’t move.

                “He’s not home yet. His plane is probably still in the air.”

                They know Bradley. They know his schedule, they’re saying he isn’t home. So, this isn’t the wrong address. It explains nothing though.

                “Come in Lieutenant,” Admiral Kazansky states, at the same time Maverick says;

                “Well, you better come in.”

                He was just about to suggest he come back later, however he’s just been invited and sort-of ordered to come in and he nods jerkily, his body stepping forward of it’s own volition.

                “Thank you sir.”

                “You can call me Tom, or Iceman if the first name is a step too far. Just at home. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a bit about you.”

                Fuck. What has he heard exactly?

                He nods again, takes a deep breath to settle the shakiness in his limbs, takes off his shoes, doesn’t think about what the Admiral said, implying that he’d be here, in this home, more than right now. Follows after Maverick to the lounge area and he looks around the room and sees photos, lots of photos and he feels his hairline suddenly prickle with sweat. There’s younger Bradley with Maverick, Bradley and Maverick and Admiral Kazansky on what looks like his promotion ceremony to COMPACFLT and he’s starting to see the picture the photos are painting and it’s making him nervous but it’s also answering so many questions.

NEXT PART (no time jump)