#i just know this album is going to put me in my grave

[strawberrybyers]

STFU TAYLOR ANNOUNCED A WHOLE NEW ALBUM??!! THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT????? ALSO SHE WON HER 13TH GRAMMY WHICH 13 IS HER LUCKY NUMBER!!!! THIS IS TAYLOR SWIFT’S WORLD AND WE’RE ALL JUST LIVING IN IT BECAUSE NOW ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THE DATE APRIL 19, 2024 ‼️

[deus-ex-mona]

i miss her…

[hattersarts]

okay im doing cringe (yes i am free but this is still category cringe even if i don't feel it) and putting the most homoerotic images of jeeves and bertie in a read more cut bc i cannot STAND to be looking at these pictures alone anymore.

also the wink wink potential of pg wodehouse being either gay or sympathetic and bertie never marrying and fry being part of this production of J&W sends me into tail spins bc like everyone knew right. anyway.

first is this insane moment???? hello???????? handing drink and then sitting down to play with a man (also lilies?????????? like it didnt mean anything for the set designer but NOW?)

this cap in particular makes me loose my mind bc it implies jeeves putting flowers in bertie's button holes in public is just a normal thing that he does (like i know its his job but....this is like, out in the open? your fixing your y.m.'s flower? okaaayyyyyy)

bertie in full grooms fit standing in the church next to jeeves being like the last scene of the series????? HUH???????????

okay this one is obvious but ALSO the plot of "we much pretend to be TWO PALS, TO FRIENDS, COMRADE WHO LIVE TOGETHER" was prime fic territory and delightful.

idk something about this.

and now follows the promo pictures that will haunt me to my grave of images you'd find going through an old family album with the explanation of "this is an image of my great uncle and the man he lives with and spent the rest of his life, they were good friends" meanwhile your queer ass sat there like. yeah they were in love and fucking, good for them.

anyway thanks for reading

[zansourcee]

↪ ✧ 𝑳𝒀𝑹𝑰𝑪 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑴𝑬𝑴𝑬: 𝘩𝑖𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝑏𝑦 𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑒𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑠𝘩.

below is a collection of various lyrics from billie eilish's newest album hit me hard and soft. to be used as rp prompts, feel free to adjust as necessary. some prompts are slightly suggestive.

◟ 𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚢

' i never did you wrong. '

' my patience is gone. '

' feelin' off when i feel fine. '

' people say i look happy. '

' but the old me is still me and maybe the real me. '

' and i think she's pretty. '

' i still cry and you know why. '

' when i stepped off the stage, i'm a bird in a cage. '

' you said i was your secret. '

' somebody's gotta feed it. '

' i loved you for so long. '

◟ 𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑

' i could eat that girl for lunch. '

' tastes like she might be the one. '

' i could never get enough. '

' it's a craving, not a crush. '

' baby i think you were made for me. '

' if i'm allowed, i'll help you take 'em off. '

' you need a seat? i'll volunteer. '

' she's the headlights, i'm the deer. '

' i'm interested in bein' more than just your friend. '

◟ 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚘

' take away my love. '

' not today, not tomorrow. '

' kinda strange, feelin' sorrow. '

' can you open up the door? '

' you/i can't cope anymore. '

' i need to be alone now. '

' i don't know why i called. '

' i don't know you at all. '

' there's a part of me that recognizes you. '

' do you feel it too? '

' you don't know if you'll make it. '

◟ 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

' i want you to stay. '

' 'til i'm in the grave. '

' 'til i rot away, dead and buried. '

' if you go, i'm going too. '

' it was always you. '

' nothing left to lose. '

' we should stick together. '

' i wasn't better alone. '

' it might not be forever. '

' if its forever, even better. '

' i don't know why i'm crying for. '

' i don't think i could love you more. '

' i'll love you 'til the day i die. '

' i want you to see how you look for/to me. '

' but you're so full of shit. '

' don't wanna say goodbye. '

◟ 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛

' things fall apart. '

' time breaks your heart. '

' i wasn't there, but i know. '

' you fell out of love and you both let go. '

' all i could do was hold her. '

' i know you love me, don't need to remind me. '

' i should put it all behind me, shouldn't i? '

' i see her in the back of my mind. '

' like a fever, like i'm burning alive. '

' did i cross the line? '

' good things don't last. '

' you say no one knows you. '

◟ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝

' i'm trying my best. '

' how alone i've been. '

' i'm doing whats right. '

' it's not worth fighting for. '

◟ 𝚕'𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚎 𝚖𝚊 𝚟𝚒𝚎

' i wish you the best for the rest of your life. '

' you were the love of my life. '

' did i break your heart? '

' did i waste your time? '

' it isn't a lot asking for an apology. '

' you said you'd never fall in love again. '

' i thought i was depressed or losing my mind. '

' i was the love of your life, but you were not mine. '

◟ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚛

' don't be afraid of me. '

' i'm what you need. '

' i know we're meant to be. '

' i just wanna talk. '

' i could be your wife/husband/partner. '

' kiss me goodnight. '

' i tried to save you, but i failed.'

◟ 𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎

' i can't fall in love with you. '

' i've been on my knees. '

' i see the way you want me. '

' i hope it all goes away. '

' you seem so paranoid. '

' it's so romanticized. '

' love so bittersweet. '

◟ 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎

' i'd like to mean it when i say i'm over you. '

' i told you a lie. '

' thought you were made for me. '

' i can't change. '

' you were born reaching for your mothers arms. '

' victim of your father's plans. '

[k8-marsh]

songs that sound like chloe price sung them

okay so (naturally) i have playlists for most life is strange characters and i found a bunch of songs that sound like chloe sung them! :) it sounds more like her voice in 'before the storm' (rhianna devries) if anyone is interested. so yeah! i just thought it was cool! a lot of the songs also really suit chloe in their lyrics/genre too ^^

also i added photos to help you. visualise. hope you enjoy.

Sorority Girls - Mommy Long Legs

this one is so very chloe, especially with her hate for the vortex club (more specifically, victoria and nathan)

Hey, hey, hey, boys, let's go to the frat party The theme's white people, get your roofies ready Shoot their parent's money away And act like assholes every day!!!

I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm on Probation - Destroy Boys

honestly, for all of these songs the entire song sounds like her! this whole album in particular 'Sorry, Mom' is very chloe.

anyway i think this song could kinda be about chloe and frank ;

'Cause you're scary as shit, dude! Like I don't know really know what I can tell you You kinda freak me out, but we can be friends

Never invite me over ever again Just kidding, please do! I really wanna hangout with you

obviously NOT in a relationship way but frank was definitely a bad influence on chloe and someone she kinda looked up to. so i think it kinda fits!

Duck Eat Duck World - Destroy Boys (again)

okay... i'm about to put the whole album at this point, the singer's old voice really sounds like chloe!!!

this song seems like other people's criticisms of chloe;

Ever since you cut your hair You're so different, you don't seem to care Staying out late, X's on hands Since when do you like punk rock bands?

then this verse kinda seems like chloe talking about max leaving her -

I liked the girl with the long locks What's her name? I forgot Ten years and we haven't talked Well, there's a new girl on the block

and the 'new girl' is rachel!

Green eyes leaning in on me Green eyes, am I what you wanna see?

guess who has green eyes... that's right guys. rachel amber. are you seeing these links or what.

this analysis isn't, like, that i think that the artists wrote these songs about chloe, i just love thinking about songs in terms of chloe. as you can tell.

A few other songs from the same album that match chloe with their lyrics:

No Respect - chloe criticizing david!

You don't own everything I've been here for years Stop meddling in my affairs and I'll stop middling yours Get out of my face Such a typical dude Thinking that every tiny little thing is just about you

Goldilocks Spot

This one is kinda sad/subdued. I think this suits Before the Storm Chloe too, i mean she went through a LOT of shit.

My handwriting kind of looks like my dad's Tell me your story, it won't make me sad

...

I don't wanna talk about it anymore I don't wanna talk about it anymore I don't wanna talk about it anymore I don't wanna talk about it anymore So I won't

Junk

The title just gives me junkyard vibes, which is totally relevant to chloe :)

My car exhaust clinging to the base Shiny and lost with onion ring remains Precious flowers lost within the hour I guess you can say they were written to decay

Long and gone Long and gone, long and gone, long and gone Lost my junk again Lost my junk again

B.F.F (Actually from a later album!)

This reminds me of Chloe's breakdown in the junkyard. you know when she just started smashing everything. you can draw a correlation (fancy) between the title and max...

Nails through my baseball bat I'm telling you to step back girl, step back You're dead, you're dust, you're sewage now (< william!!!) You dug your grave and then you asked me how

edit: you thought i was done? absolutely not. i completely forgot about ashly burch's songs!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAa.... okay. these are usually covers/parts of a show or play so they don't have as deep meaning. but obviously i'll find a way to relate it to chloe.

(Cover) Black Sheep by Metric

I love the second video so much, it's animated by this totally awesome dude on reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/lifeisstrange/comments/3nzxhc/animation_of_chloe_price_ashly_burch_singing/) but the video is private so I attached a different youtube link in case anyone wants to watch it.

Who's The Princess Now? (from Muzzled: The Musical)

The scream of 'who's the princess now, BITCHES??" is... very chloe to me. a little context, this song is from a very peculiar youtube musical episode series thing that ashly burch stars in, i watched it a few years ago and it's definitely something. it's actually got a bunch of popular youtube-musical people (like Joey Richter from Starkid) if anyone's interested. you can watch it here!

Song Battle (...also from Muzzled: The Musical)

okay. so for some reason i really love imagining chloe having a rap battle against victoria for this. someone please make it into an animatic. maybe i will.

How Do I Look? (you'll never guess where this one is from...)

i can also imagine chloe having a sick makeover and like chloe and rachel helping her. or something like that... anyways. rad.

Anyways. That's it for now, i hope anyone who remotely wanted this enjoyed it!!! i hope it helped if you wanted to create a playlist or animatic or anything or just have a little chuckle.... um. please let me know if you have any more ideas because my chloe playlist can never be long enough.

[awildeternity]

Kendrick Lamar vs Drake, my own little rant

FIRST OFF, THIS HAS CREATED SOME OF THE MOST IMMACULATE MUSIC I'VE EVER LISTENED TO. I AM VIBRATING AND NOT MANAGING TO CALM DOWN, SO I'M GOING TO RANT ABOUT IT. There's so much background to this. Drake was the one to originally put Kendrick on the world stage. Kendrick was literally an opener for one of Drake's tours back in 2012. That was before Section.80, which was Kendrick's first real studio album, and even then it was more of a mixtape at the time. So, Drake and K-dot were always basically involved with one another. However, while I don't know all of the background to it, I'm pretty sure Drake has been taking shots at literally like half of the rap game for the past few years. Future, A$AP Rocky, Kanye, and obviously Kendrick a couple of times. Saying that his first big hit was basically because of Drake, and that he kept doing features with big artists like Rihanna (LOYALTY.) and SZA (All the Stars). This all leads to a lot of bullshit recently. I'm not EXACTLY sure on the timeline (Feel free to correct me if there is anything wrong), but there are a couple of notable events, notably Drake using a *AI VOICE OF TUPAC* in a song (which led to him getting a cease and desist and a LOT of heat because, well, obviously.) Kendrick accuses him of being a culture vulture, basically trying to appropriate the Black US culture that he did not grow up with. LET'S REMEMBER DRAKE WAS ORIGINALLY BORN IN A GATED COMMUNITY FOR WHITE PEOPLE IN TORONTO. HE HAS NEVER BEEN "HOOD", NEVER LIVED THROUGH GANG VIOLENCE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. HE STEALS ACCENTS TO SEEM LIKE HE BELONGS AND BASICALLY APPROPRIATES THE CULTURE LIKE A BITCH. I'm pretty sure J.Cole also dropped a song that called himself, Drake and Kendrick the "Big 3" of the Rap Game, to which Kendrick responded in Like That by saying "Fuck the Big 3, [] it's just big me." which obviously means that he considers himself a step above both of them. That's basically when we get to the most recent stuff, and the MEAT of the topic. Drake drops Push Ups. It is some tame shit, let's be honest with ourselves. That song calls out the fact that Drake "handed" Kendrick his first number one hit, which, yeah, he kind of did, but whatever. There's picks at Kendrick's height, his foot size, the fact that his label TOP DOG takes 50% (Hence the lyrics "drop and give me 50" and the push ups title, dropping a song and giving TPE 50% of the profits) Also calling K-dot "wiped down" by more popular artists like SZA, Travis Scott and 21 Savage. Also weirdly enough taking a shot at Metro, a producer that had worked with Kendrick on Like That, but like, why??? AND THEN. FOR A FEW WEEKS, KENDRICK SAYS NOTHING. ON TUESDAY OF THIS WEEK, THOUGH, HE DROPS THE ABSOLUTE BOMB THAT IS EUPHORIA. Euphoria is the title of Drake's show he co-produced that got a bunch of heat for having some weird sexualisation of teenage girls, which is already a pretty good hit, but the LYRICS THEMSELVES. KENDRICK LITERALLY CALLS OUT DRAKE ON SO MANY THINGS. Talking about how he's not a rap artist but a scam artist that wants to be accepted (culture vulture, again), talking about the Tupac shit with "I'd rather do that than let a Canadian [] make Pac turn in his grave", once again calling out Drake being fucking CANADIAN and trying to appropriate the culture. Also making a reference to YMW Kelly and calling Drake and J.Cole his "friends" (YMW Kelly murdered two of his friends, hence why that is a diss and not a compliment.) I have to comment on the absolute HATE FEST too. "I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct We hate the bitches you fuck 'cause they confuse themself with real women And notice, I said "we," it's not just me, I'm what the culture feelin'"

[coq-ue-tte]

𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

(this is my first tumblr post so don’t mind me)

🕯 🧸 ☁ 🪐 🕊 🤎 🌙 📷

(𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐤𝐓𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭)

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

~ SAD HEADCANNONS ~

• Lawrence felt so guilty about not going back for Adam that he used his power as an apprentice to anonymously stalk Adam’s family, find his parents and send money to them to pay for his grave or to go towards the vigil.

• In an argument with Scott Tibbs (probably to do with the new album photoshoot) he broke the last picture Adam had of his parents.

• He began smoking and doing drvgs in his early teens, and this was one of the reasons why he fell out with his parents and got kicked out.

• After everything that happened to Adam, Lawrence took up photography to help remember him.

• Larry would also go to the parking lot where they first properly met, to reconnect with him.

• Afraid of the dark.

• After the events of saw 1 (if he magically escaped) he would NEVER lock the doors to the bathrooms he would use in public, in case he got locked in one again. But it would kind of annoy you because you’d have to wait for him.

• Went to a rehabilitation camp when he was younger.

• Adam met Daniel at a ‘Wrath of the Gods’ gig. But he saw him as a little brother.

• Daniel would rant to Adam about Eric, but Adam would relate to it all because of his own relationship with his father.

• Adam would often compare himself to the attention Scott got from women, this would make him a lot more insecure and self conscious .

• The photo of Adam (seen in The Scott Tibbs Documentary) was the last remaining thing Scott got from Adam’s apartment, the rest of it was taken by squatters…

• Bailed Scott out a couple times, this is one of the reasons why he is poor.

• Definitely had that one teacher at school that he’d just linger with because all of the other people in his grade/year pissed him off.

• Taught Daniel how to skate.

• HEAR ME OHT FOR THIS ONE BECAUSE I DON’T EXPLAIN IT VERY WELL !!!

~ Scott would definitely try and get with 18 year old groupies or Yk younger, but he’d definitely try and set them up with Adam too. Adam wouldn’t have any of this illegal shit and reassure the women that he was nice and didn’t want it.

• The iconic shirt of his seen in Saw 1 was probably given to him by his dad. It’s one of the last things he has.

• Gets into fights at bars bc he RUNS HIS MOUTH. But that doesn’t mean he wins them ….

• He waited every day outside of his apartment to see if Amanda was there.

• Liked Amanda because he knew that she wouldn’t run off with Scott.

• His parents definitely tried reaching out to him, but he didn’t want any of it.

• His parents put flyers and missing poster signs to try and get their son back. But it didn’t work …

• He had such a problem with Larry cheating on his wife because I get the vibe that Adam’s dad cheated on his mom.

• Died thinking that no one loved him. But there’s probably a lil bench put in his name in his hometown.

• Stalks his exes online.

• Got arrested for stalking and harassment.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

HAPPY / RANDOM HEADCANNONS <3 (yay)

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

• Hates cheese.

• Went to a blink- 182 concert back when they were REALLY popular.

• He was close to his grandma, but when she died, he kind of spiralled (this is kinda sad but cute :))

• Donnie Darko is his comfort character.

• Gets outfit inspiration from people like Kurt Cobain and Billy Loomis. (If you know you know)

• His couch is COVERED in cigarette burns.

• Owns a tumblr account <3

• Owns a wrath of the Gods fan page. We love a supportive king.

• Owns one of those TikTok accounts that just low-key aims all of his posts about Taylor Swift and the swifties.

• Had a buzz cut back in high school.

• Definitely be one of those people like “Name 5 Songs !!! 😡😡😡” Bro would love pissing people off.

• Loved Smoking at night to Jeff Buckley’s Grace. Loved that man so much.

• Definitely a comic book collector.

• Would love all- inclusive buffets :)

• more than likely got expelled as a kid.

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

(that’s all for now <3)

[dreambigdreamz]

assigning LaDS men their TTPD theme songs and specific lyrics

go and open up the entire album with the LaDS in your mind uwu i swear this is too much angst but like not the whole song but vibes <333 someone please write fics on these

Fortnight — Zayne

(I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me/ I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic)

(All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February/ I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary)

(And for a fortnight there we were together/ Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater/ Now you’re at the mailbox, turned into good neighbours)

The Tortured Poets Department — Rafayel

(You left your typewriter at my apartment/ Straight from the Tortured Poets Department/ I think some things I’ll never say like “Who uses typewriters anyway?”)

(But you awaken with dread/ Pounding nails in your head/ But I’ve read this one where you come undone/ I chose this cyclone with you)

+ The entire chorus and bridge 💀

(At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on/ And that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart explodinggg 🎆 🎆 )

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys — Xavier

(Oh here we go again/ The voices in his head/ Called the rain to end our days of wild/ The sickest army doll/ Purchased at the mall/ Rivulets descend my plastic smile/ But you should have seen him when he first got me)

(There was a litany of reasons why we could have played for keeps this time/ I know I’m just repeating myself/ Put me back on my shelf/ But first pull the string and I’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me [he loves me ✨ sings in delulu ✨])

(Just say when I’d play again/ He was my best friend down at the sandlot/ I felt more when we played pretend/ Than with all the Kens/ Cuz he took me out of my box)

Down Bad — Sylus

(Did you really beam me up/ In a cloud of sparkling dust?/ Just to do experiments on/ Told me I was the chosen one/ Show me that this world is bigger than us/ Then sent me back where I came from/ For a moment I knew cosmic love)

(Did you take all my old clothes/ Just to leave me here naked and alone?/ In a field in my same old town/ That somehow seems so hollow now/ They’ll say I’m nuts if I talk about the existence of you/ For a moment I was heaven struck)

+ The chorus and bridge like, justlistennn

So Long, London — Rafayel

(I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist/ I kept calm and carried the weight through the rift/ I pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away)

(And you say I abandoned the ship/ But I was going down with it/ My white knuckle dying grip/ Holding tight to your quiet resentment)

(You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?/ I died on the altar waiting for the proof/ You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days/ And I’m just getting color back into my face/ I’m just mad as hell cause I loved this place)

(For so long, London/ Had a good run/ One moment of warm sun/ But I’m not the one/ So long, London/ Stitches undone/ Two graves, one gun/ You’ll find someone ...)

But Daddy, I Love Him — Sylus

(insert the entire song just kidding)

(He was chaos, he was revelry/ Bedroom eyes like a remedy/ Soon enough the elders had convened/ Down at the city hall/ “Stay away from her”/ The saboteurs protested too much/ Lord knows the words we never heard/ Just screeching tires and true love)

(Thinking it can change the beat/ Of my heart when he touches me/ And counteract the chemistry/And undo the destinyyyy/ You ain’t gotta pray for me/ Me and my wild boy and all this wild joy/ If all you want is gray for me/ Then it’s just white noise cuz it’s just my choice)

(I’m telling him to floor it through the fences/ No, I’m not coming to my senses/ I know he’s crazy but he’s the one I want)

Oh Lord I haven’t listened to Fresh Out The Slammer 💀

Florida!!! — Sylus

(The hurricane with my name when it came/ I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away/ Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine/ Well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time/ Yes, I’m haunted but I’m feeling just fine)

(Little did you know/ Your home’s really only the town you’ll get arrested/ So you pack your life away/Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas)

(I need to forget, so take me to Florida/ I’ve got some regrets, I’ll bury them in Florida/ Tell me I’m despicable, say it’s unforgivable/ What a crash, what a rush, fuck me up, Florida/ It’s one hell of a drug)

Guilty as Sin? — Zayne

(My boredom’s bone deep/ This cage was once just fine/ Am I allowed to cry?/ I dream of cracking locks/ Throwing my life to the wolves/ Or the ocean rocks/ Crashing into him tonight/ He’s a paradox/ I’m seeing visions, am I bad?/ Or mad? Or wise?)

this is literally MC in Zayne cards no question no judging we love our personal rocking chair babe

(I keep recalling things we never did/ Messy top lip kiss/How I long for our trysts/ Without ever touching his skin/ How can I be guilty as sin?)

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? — Rafayel(?)

Just vibes.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) — Sylus

(The smoke cloud billows out of his mouth like a freight train through a small town/ The jokes that he told at the bar were revolting and far too loud)

(They shake their heads saying “God help her” when I tell ‘em he’s my man/ But your good Lord doesn’t need to lift a finger/ I can fix him, no really, I can/ And only I can)

(The dopamine races cross his brain like a six-plane Texas highway/ His hands, so calloused from his pistol, softly traces hearts on my face/ And I can see it from a mile away/ A perfect case for my certain skills set/ He had a halo of the highest grade/ He just hadn’t met me yet)

(Good boy, that’s right/ Come close, I’ll show you heaven if you’ll be an angel all night/ Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man)

Did I just type out the entire song oop-

loml — Rafayel

(Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?/ If we know the steps anyway/ We embroidered the memories of the time I was away/ Stitching “We were just kids, babe”/ I said “I don’t mind, it takes time”/ I thought I was better safe than starry eyed/ I felt a glow like this, never before and never since)

(Who’s gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate/ And told me I reformed you/ When your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fake/ Well, you took me to hell, too/ And all at once, the ink bleeds/ A con-man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme/ I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since)

(You shit talked me under tables, talking rings and talking cradles/ I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all/ Dancing phantoms on the terrace/ Are they second-hand embarrassed? That I can’t get out of bed/ Cuz something counterfeit’s dead)

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart — Xavier

(There in her glittering prime/ The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night/ I can show you lies ✨ )

(Cuz I’m a real tough kid/ I can handle my shit/ They said “Babe you gotta fake it till you make it” and I did/ Lights, camera, bitch smile/ Even when you wanna die/ He said he’d love me all his life/ But that life was too short/ Breaking down I hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more)

(I’m so depressed I act like it’s my birthdayyy everyday/ I’m so obsessed with him but he avoids me like a plague/ I cry a lot but I am so productive, it’s an art/ You know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart ✨ )

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

umm…. imma be saving this for later because …. we can all sense a betrayal of smth coming right? or is it just my bestfriend’s pessimistic arse again—

The Alchemy — Sylus 💯

(What if I told you I’m back?/ The hospital was a drag/ Worst sleep that I ever had/ I circled you on a map/ I haven’t come around in so long/ But I’m coming back so strong)

(So when I touch down/ Call the amateurs and cut ‘em from the team/ Ditch the clowns, get the crown/ Baby, I’m the one to beat/ Cuz the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me/ Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?)

(Where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me.) — please let us take a moment to appreciate how sweet this line was, even in TS standards

The Black Dog — Sylus

(I move through the world with a heart broken/ My longing stays unspoken/ And I may never open up the way I did to you/ And all of those best laid plans/ You said I needed a brave man/ Then proceeded to play him until I believed it too)

(Six weeks of breathing clean air/ I still miss the smoke/ Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?/ Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes/ And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons/ Even if I die screaming/ And I hope you hear it)

imgonnagetyouback — Sylus

(Whether I’m gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your bike, I haven’t decided yet/ But I’m gonna get you back/ Whether I’m gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven’t decided yet/ But I’m gonna get you back)

(Bygones will be bygone eras fading into gray/ We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game/ Told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same/ Pick your poison, babe, I’m poison either way)

The Albatross — Rafayel

(Wise men once said wild winds are death to the candle/ A rose by any other name is a scandal/ Locked me up in towers but I'd visit in your dreams/ And they tried to warn you about me)

(Cross your thoughtless heart/ Only liquor anoints you/ She’s the albatross/ She is here to destroy you/ Devils that you know/ Raise worse hell than a stranger/ She’s the death you chose/ And all this terrible danger)

(And when that sky rains fire on you/ And you're persona non grata/ I'll tell you how I've been there too/ And that none of it matters)

hands down the best fitting song and ship by far aaand we’re gonna be getting some zayne angst for the next few ones

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus — Zayne

(If you wanna break my cold, cold heart/ Just say “I loved you the way that you were”/ If you wanna tear my world apart just say you’ve always wondered)

(If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh/ Down that passage in time back to the moment I crashed into you/ Like so many wrecks do/ Too impaired by my youth/ To know what to do)

How Did It End? — Zayne

(We hereby conduct this post-mortem/ He was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsmen/ Our maladies were such we could not cure them/ And so his touch that was my birthright became foreign)

(Say it once again with feeling/ How the death rattle breathing/ Silenced as the soul was leaving/ The deflation of our dreaming/ Leaving me bereft and reeling/ My beloved ghost and me/ Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G )

So High School — Xavier

(I feel so high school every time I look at you/ I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you 💖)

(And in a blink of a crinkling eye/ I’m sinking, our fingers entwined and cheeks pink in the twinkling lights/ Tell me ‘bout the first time you saw me/ I’ll drink what you think, and I’m high from smoking your jokes all damn night/ The brink of a wrinkle in time/ Bittersweet sixteen suddenly)

I Look In People’s Windows — Zayne

At this point I’m cutting onions for Zayne’s story. Maybe other albums will have better song choices for my babe 🥹🙏

(I had died the tiniest death/ I spied the catch in your breath/ Out, out, out, out, out, out/ North bound I got carried away as you boarded your train/ South, south, south, south, south, south/ A feather taken by the wind blowing/ I’m afflicted by the not knowing so)

(I look in people’s windows/ Transfixed by rose golden glows/ They have their friends over to drink nice wine/ I look in people’s windows In case you’re at their table/ What if your eyes looked up and met mine/ One more time)

(You had stopped and tilted your head/ I still ponder what it meant now, now/ Now, now, now, now/ I tried searching faces on streets/ What are the chances you'd be downtown, downtown, downtown/ Does it feel alright to not know me?/ I’m addicted to the ‘if only’)

The Prophecy — Zayne

(Hand on the throttle/ Thought I caught lightning in a bottle/ Oh, but it's gone again/ And it was written/ I got cursed like Eve got bitten/Oh, was it punishment?)

(Please, I’ve been on my knees/ change the prophecy/ Don’t want money/ Just someone who wants my company/ Let it once be me/ Who do I have to speak to, about if they can redo the prophecy?)

I will cry if the creators don’t give at least one happy ending to one of them

Peter — Xavier

(The goddess of Timing once found us beguiling/ She said she was trying, Peter, was she lying?/ My ribs get the feeling she did/ And I didn’t wanna come down/ We said it was just goodbye for now)

(And sometimes it gets me/ When crossing your jet stream/ We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon/ In different galaxies)

(And I won’t confess that I waited but I let the lamp burn/ As the men masqueraded/ I hoped you’d return with your feet on the ground/ Tell me all that you’ve learned/ Cuz love’s never lost when perspective is earned)

The Bolter — Sylus

(He was a cad, wanted her bads/ Just like any good trophy hunter/ And she likes the way it tastes/ Taming a bear, making him care/ Watching him jump then pulling him under/ And at first blush, this is fate/ When it's all roses, portrait poses/ Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats/ What a charming Saturday/ That’s when she sees the littlest leaks/ Down in the floorboards/ And she just knows/ She must bolt)

Robin — Xavier

(Strings tied to levers, slowed down clocks tethered/ All this showmanship/ To keep it, for you/ In sweetness/ Way to go tiger/ Higher and higher/ Wilder and lighter/ For you)

(You got the dragonflies above your bed/ You have a favorite spot on the swing set/ You have no room in your dreams for regrets/ You have no idea/ The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean/ You’ll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline/ But now we’ll curtail your curiosity)

The Manuscript — Rafayel

(Now and then she rereads the manuscript/ Of the entire torrid affair/ They compared their licenses He said, “I’m not a donor but I’d give you my heart if you needed it”/ She rolled her eyes and said “You're a professional”/ He said, “No, just a good samaritan”)

(The only thing that’s left is the manuscript/ One last souvenir from my trip to your shores/ Now and then I reread the manuscript/ But the story isn’t mine anymore)

Yes I left out Clara Bow, I Hate It Here, thanK you aIMee and Cassandra. These are really amazing songs, very TS girl-coded and we stan all the lyrics <3 they just didn’t particularly fit oh oh maybe

Clara Bow — Sylus

(This town is fake but you’re the real thing/ Breath of fresh air through smoke rings/ Take the glory, give everything/ Promise to be dazzling/ The crown is stained but you’re the real queen/ Flesh and blood amongst war machines/ You’re the new god we’re worshiping/ Promise to be dazzling)

I Hate It Here — Zayne

(I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind/ People need a key to get to/ The only one is mine/ I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child/ No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears/ I’m there most of the year cuz I hate it here)

(I hate it here so I will go to lunar valleys in my mind/ When they found a better planet, only the gentle survived/ I dreamt about it in the dark the night I felt like I might die)

thanK you aIMee — Xavier

(All that time you were throwing punches, I was building something/ And I couldn’t wait to show you it was real/ Screamed “thanK you aIMee” to the nightsky and the stars are stunning/ And our town, it looks so small from way up here)

Cassandra — Rafayel

(I was in my new house placing daydreams/ Patching up the crack along the wall/ I pass it and lose track of what I’m saying/ Cuz that’s where I was when I got the call)

(I was in my tower weaving nightmares/ Twisting all my smiles into snarls/ They say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you aware”/ What happens if it becomes who you are?)

[justmystyles]

Now You're In My Life - Part 10

catch up here

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

word count: 2.4k

summary: you and Harry spend the rest of the week together, and have some conversations about your relationship.

warnings: a couple of curse words, but other than that, it's tame.

a/n: it's been two weeks, but i finally have a new chapter for you guys! hopefully, i won't go this long without an update moving forward, but no promises! thank you all so much for your love, support, interactions, and asks, i love how welcomed y'all have made me feel.

tags: @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

The rest of your week with Harry was better than you ever could have imagined. The day after your family dinner, as promised, Harry joined you and your grandfather at the cemetery to visit your grandmother’s grave. He stayed back, allowing you and your grandfather a private moment. However, before you left, he asked for a minute and took some time at the grave himself. 

You asked him why, and he told you he wanted to meet your grandmother because she was so important to you. 

You asked him what he said, and he told you it was between the two of them. 

You fell in love with him a little bit more. 

When you returned to your grandfather’s house, you stayed and visited for a while. He and Harry got along great, the two of them spent most of the time going through your grandfather’s records and talking about music. You watched on with a smile on your face, knowing that they were both having the time of their lives. 

Harry pulled out one of the many Elvis albums and reviewed the tracks. “Wow, this is a great one.”

“That’s the one I put on tape for Y/N when she was little.” Your grandfather said proudly. 

Harry looked over at you and you smiled with a nod. “When I was three or four, I told him I liked Elvis, so he put that album on a cassette for me. He has been the one musical constant in my life. No matter what I was listening to, or what scene I found myself in, there was always Elvis. There will always be Elvis.” 

“That’s really beautiful,” Harry said. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you in to kiss your temple. 

The days following your family visits were mostly spent just enjoying each other’s company at home. It was a level of domesticity you had never had in a relationship before, and it felt perfectly natural. You would lay around, watching television and talking, cooking for each other. Your house had never felt so much like a home. 

At one point, you were in the basement putting in a load of laundry, when you felt Harry’s arms wrap around your waist, and his lips drop onto your neck. 

“I told you I’d be right back.” You chuckled as he continued to place lazy kisses down your neck, and across your collarbone. 

“I know,” he mumbled against your skin. “But I missed you.” 

“You know, it’s kind of cute the way you follow me around like a lost puppy.” Harry simply hummed against your skin in response. “Oh, that’s it!” You said as you removed yourself from his arms and turned to face him. He looked at you with a mix of annoyance and confusion. “I’ve been trying to think of a cute nickname for you, you know because you have one for me?”

“And you’re going with puppy?” 

“Yeah, why? You don’t like it?” You looked at him with big eyes and pouty lips. 

“It just seems…” He trailed off, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. “A princess regal and revered, a puppy is a pet it’s like...” He waves his hands, still unsure quite what to say.  

“Puppy, I’m going to be real with you,” you say with a sly smirk. “The more you fight it, the more I’m going to want to use it.” 

Harry sighs jokingly. “I guess it’s fine.” Truthfully, he would be fine with whatever you wanted to call him, he was just happy to be yours. 

“That’s better,” you say, wrapping your arms around his waist as his come around your shoulders. “Besides, it actually works on a couple of levels.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah I mean, you’ve got those extra nipples and all.” 

Harry chuckles and kisses the top of your head. “You’re lucky I love you.” 

“The luckiest,” you agree, pulling your arms around him tighter.

One of the things Harry had wanted to do while he was visiting was to go into Boston and do some touristy things. He had traveled to the city before, but it was always for work so he never had much of a chance to truly explore. So he put on his most incognito outfit and the two of you headed into the city. 

As you walked through Faneuil Hall hand in hand, Harry noticed that something seemed to be on your mind. He squeezed your hand gently to get your attention. “You alright?” He finally asked when you looked up at him. 

“Yeah, I just had this super random thought.” He arched his brow, encouraging you to continue. “I’ve come here hundreds of times in my life; field trips, pub crawls, concerts, whatever. But I’ve never actually looked at it as a tourist destination, it’s just the place to go when your small town gets too small.” You muse. “These people took time off of work, booked travel and hotels, planned in advance to come here and do this stuff on a random Wednesday afternoon.” 

“I get it,” Harry replied. “You’ve been here your whole life, it’s not like you’re taking it for granted or anything, but they’re all just looking at everything through a different lens than you are.” 

“Exactly.” 

“Have you ever been here with someone that wasn’t from here?” He asked, you thought about it for a minute and shook your head no. “Perfect, well now you are, so I can help you look at it from a tourist’s perspective.” 

“How are you going to do that?” You ask curiously. 

“We’re going to read all the plaques, take a bunch of silly pictures, and buy cheesy merch!” 

You smile at him, noticing how excited the idea made him. “I actually love that.” 

And that’s exactly what you did. You started at the beginning of the Freedom Trail, following the red brick path and stopping at each of the sixteen sites to take pictures and learn about their significance. After that, you took some time wandering the aquarium, something you’d always loved to do anyway, and moved on to the North End where you insisted Harry try a cannoli from each of the three most famous establishments in the city. A small tift did come up when he chose Modern Pastry over the clearly superior Mike’s. But you finally conceded, saying it just meant more of the good cannoli for you. 

Throughout the day, you noticed murmurs and whispers, as well as people trying to surreptitiously photograph the two of you. A few fans did approach Harry, he politely turned down their requests for photos, but took a few moments to speak with each of them, not wanting to hurt the people who allow him to live his dream on a daily basis. 

At one point, when the crowd seemed to be getting particularly suffocating, Harry suggested that you duck into a nearby restaurant for a bite. They were all very small, so you would be able to get some distance and have some time to yourselves. You chose a restaurant, and Harry requested a table as far from the windows as possible, signaling to the crowd that was forming outside. The hostess nodded and led you up a set of stairs to their private dining area. 

“We don’t have any parties booked, so you can have this space all to yourselves.” She said as she handed you each a menu. “I’ll be right back with some water.” You and Harry thanked her, and she made her way back downstairs.  

“So I’m assuming that happens a lot?” You ask. You knew this was something that was bound to happen as you spent time with Harry, but it was a little jarring to actually see it in person.

“Sometimes,” he replies bashfully. “More so in cities that I don’t spend much time in. I’m around places like London and New York so much that people are kind of used to it.” 

You nod in understanding. “I’m sorry, we didn’t have to go out–”

“No no no princess, don’t be sorry.” He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. “Today has been wonderful. I want us to go out on dates and have adventures, all of it. Though, this does bring up a piece of the puzzle that I had been slightly dreading.” 

You felt a knot in your stomach at his words. “What do you mean?” 

Harry took a deep breath, preparing himself. “I give so much of myself to the world, but there are things I like to keep to myself, and not share with the public. One of the things I keep to myself are my relationships. Most of the time, the fans end up finding out, but I don’t comment on it, I don’t go out of my way to show it off.” 

He studied your expression carefully, he was worried about how you might take this conversion. You were self conscious, he could tell by the way you would question him about the status of your relationship, or the surprise in your eyes when he would shower you with praise. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel like he was ashamed or embarrassed by you. 

“I understand.” You said softly. “My socials are all on private, and I haven’t even posted anything about us, and I won’t if–”

“Woah there,” Harry cut off your ramble, scooting his chair so that he was sitting beside you. “I didn’t say that because I was going to start laying down rules. I love you, and I want as normal of a relationship as we can have. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t think I was hiding you.” 

He leaned in, kissing your lips softly, which instantly calmed you. “Okay,” you sighed. “I don’t like being the center of attention anyway.” You shrug. 

He cupped your cheek in his hand. “You’ll always be the center of my attention, princess.” 

After dinner, the staff was kind enough to let you slip out the back exit to avoid the crowd that had assembled waiting for Harry. You made it back to the parking garage without incident, and made your way back home. 

The morning before Harry was scheduled to leave, you were in the kitchen doing the dishes from breakfast when you realized Harry hadn’t been pestering you. This is the quietest he’s been since he’d been there. You dry your hands on a nearby towel and make your way down the hall. You open the bedroom door just enough to peek in. Harry is sitting on the bed holding his phone in front of him, talking to someone on FaceTime. 

He looks up and smiles, you offer an apologetic expression, mouthing ‘I’m sorry’, but before you can back out of the room he stops you. 

“No, it’s alright princess, it’s just my mum. Come over and say hi!” He chuckles when your eyes go wide. You hadn’t met his mother yet, so you were a bit nervous. “Oh don’t be such a baby.” He chided. 

You made your way over to the bed, taking a seat beside Harry, your back resting against the headboard. Harry immediately leans in, kissing your cheek. “Hi,” you greet Anne with a nervous smile and a small wave. 

“Y/N, it’s so lovely to finally meet you. Harry won’t stop talking about you!” 

“Muuummmmm,” Harry groans in mock embarrassment, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

“Don’t be such a baby,” you say, mocking his words from earlier, kissing his temple before returning to the phone. “I’m glad to be meeting you as well.”

“Is my boy behaving himself?”

You bring your index finger to your lip, tapping as if you’re deep in thought. “I mean, as best as can be expected.” 

Harry lifts his head, furrowing his brow. “Are you two really ganging up on me already?” 

You and Anne laugh at his dramatics. “I’ll let you two go,” Anne continues. “Y/N, I hope we get to meet in person soon!”

“Me too, definitely!” You agree with a smile. 

Harry says goodbye to his mother, promising he’ll let her know when he lands the following day. After he hung up the phone, he looked at you with a sad smile. 

“So I guess tomorrow is really happening.” You say, alluding to the fact that he’s going to be leaving. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, bringing a hand up to stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m really going to miss you,” you lean forward, pressing your lips to his. 

Harry pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “Do you have any vacation time left?”

“A couple of days.” 

“I had a thought,” he smiled mischievously. “I know you’re doing Christmas with your family, but what if you came out to spend New Years with me? You could meet my family, I could give you a tour. We could do this whole week, but for me.” 

“Oh,” you pulled back, your face falling. “I can’t, actually.” 

“That’s okay, maybe some time in January?” 

You looked down at your lap and shook your head. “I can’t leave the country.” 

Harry furrowed his brow, lifting your gaze to meet his. “Are you on probation or something?” 

You laughed slightly. “No, I don’t have a passport.” Harry’s eyes went wide at your confession. “Harry, I’ve never even left my time zone before. Why would I need a passport?” 

“Well you’d better hurry up and get one, because you’re my girl now and…” he clears his throat before continuing. “I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid.” You roll your eyes and try to pull away, but he only pulls you closer as he continues to sing. “Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?” 

“Alright, alright I’ll get the freaking passport!” You groan. 

Harry pulls you close, smothering your face with kisses. “That’s my girl. In the meantime, I’m coming back here for New Years.”

“Yeah?” 

“Of course, you think I’m not going to get my midnight kiss?” He asked with an arched brow. “But until then,” he repositions you so that you’re laying on the bed and he’s hovering over you. “I’m going to spend all day giving you something to remember me by.” 

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 9/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013

2014 – Jake

                Jake looks at the dates Nick has said he’s on leave and looks at his own calendar and scowls. It’s getting beyond a joke now and he feels like kicking something. Instead he goes for a long run, feet pounding the pavement in frustration. There’s nothing, not even a few days. Of course plans can change rapidly, which is what fucked them over in the past, so maybe it will act in their favor this time. He can only hope.

…            …            …

>>You know, with Taylor Swift’s new album I could put 1989 back in my username and everyone would assume I was just a fan.

>>You know who Taylor Swift is?

>>I’m a country fan. I like her older stuff.

>>Also I don’t live under a rock.

>>Old man.

>>Like you can talk.

>>You had your original birth year as 1986, you trying to make yourself younger now huh?

                Jake lets out a laugh, because this right here is how he knows he’s still talking to the same guy he started chatting to nearly ten years ago.

>>Nick, I’m thirty soon. That’s the age gay men die.

>>I’ll have a wake.

>>Bullshit. Don’t buy into that.

>>Life isn’t over when you magically turn 30.

>>Life just gets better. That’s how I feel anyway. Got my best years ahead of me.

>>Also I’m over thirty and I’m not chatting with you from my grave.

>>You might be. How would I know?

>>I might be dead by the time we actually get to meet the rate our luck is going.

…            …            …

                He knows the year is going to be a complete write-off when he enters the rec-room and Bradley Bradshaw is sitting there chatting with Omaha and Slipper. He can’t help but notice the two bars and tries to not let it bug him, knows it’s barely any distinction but it still rankles. As does the rejection, which is months ago now, it hadn’t been a stinging rejection by any stretch of the imagination, but it had definitely been a shutting down of anything, and those two-bars will be another reason or excuse Bradshaw will throw out there if Jake tries his luck again.

                Not that he will. He does note that Bradshaw hadn’t said he wasn’t gay, which is usually the first thing out of a straight man’s mouth when he’s asked out for a drink. Unless he’s completely oblivious, and if he’s being uncharitable then maybe he can think that Bradshaw is oblivious. But while he might not have taken Jake up on the offer of a drink, he’d been very quick to take Bambi out to dinner and then take her back to his place, where she’d spent the night. He’d thought he’d caught Bradshaw looking, but he wonders if it was just wishful thinking. Part of him wishes he was ignorant about all of it, but their base housing had all been too close for him not to notice.

                And now here he is.

                Stuck on a carrier with him for the next few months.

                And the fucker has gone and grown a fucking moustache.

…            …            …

                Fortunately Bradshaw seems to be content to keep his distance from Jake, almost like he’s wary of him; he also isn’t friendly, not like he is with nearly everyone else. Jake isn’t an idiot, he can extrapolate from that that Bradshaw doesn’t like him. He already suspected that was the case, and it rankles a little, but he tries to remind himself that not everyone has to like him. Something both Nick and Javy tell him. They’re in different squads, so fortunately the mutual avoiding each other is fairly straightforward.

                What does amuse him though is that Bradshaw has picked up a new callsign, Rooster, and the fact that he knows the origin makes him smirk every time he sees it on his helmet or flight suit. That probably doesn’t help endear him to the other man either, but Jake will keep his fairly benign callsign until someone gives him another one, or he does something either stupid or brave to earn one. He keeps up his Snapchat photo streak with Nick, although he does note the change of background of the morning coffee cup. Looks like every other fucking coffee cup on every naval carrier in the fleet.

                He looks up how many people are currently serving in the Navy and pulls a face at the number. 319,120. He’s one, and Nick is another. He supposes he should feel lucky that he at least knows Nick is Navy, because there are 1.35 million in the US military combined, which is an even more mind-boggling number when he tries to think about possibly of somehow just randomly bumping into Nick.

                Stranger things have happened though.

…            …            …

                “You don’t like me.”

                “I don’t know you,” Bradshaw replies, face bland and Jake responds with an equally bland smile.

                “And who’s fault is that?”

                He walks out of the rec room.

…            …            …

                He rings Javy to complain the next time they have shore leave, and for his credit Javy just lets him rant for a solid five or ten minutes before he tries to interject with anything.

                “Okay man. He really seems to get under your skin. I don’t know what to tell you, because I haven’t had any issues with him. He’s been… cool. He’s pretty chill and laid back, at least with all my interactions with him. Is there anything that you could have done that maybe annoyed him? More than just work shit that is…”

                “Oh. Uh.”

                “Jake… what’d you do?”

                “I asked him out?”

                “Seriously? With the whole attitude you gave him while we were at Top Gun you thought he’d say yes?”

                “I figured it couldn’t hurt to try.”

                “Well, I’m pretty sure he’s got something serious going with someone, at least, that’s what I’ve heard.”

                “Bunch of fucking gossips…”

                “Yeah well.”

                He suspects Javy has got his intel from Natasha Trace, and if that’s the case then it’s probably solid and correct. He doesn’t know what to think when he pairs that with the idea of Bradshaw having something serious but also having Bambi sleepover at the end of their Top Gun detachment. Unless the something serious is Bambi, which is also possible. Huh. He doesn’t say anything else though, because he doesn’t want to care anymore about Bradley fucking Bradshaw than he already does, annoying asshole. He does feel like he’s been a bit of a dick himself though, his comment he made about the fault being his that they don’t know each other. Jake isn’t usually that defensive, knows it’s got to be because Bradshaw turned him down, but he has to respect the guy if he does have something going with someone, because Jake wouldn’t have known, likely wouldn’t have ever found out, and he knows plenty of guys do.

                Too late to do anything about it now though.

…            …            …

>>You still out there having shitty sex?

>>Hey now.

>>I don’t go looking for bad sex.

>>It just happens to me.

>>You clearly have a gift.

>>Wow.

>>Thanks man.

>>Truly I am blessed.

>>You want a picture to cheer yourself up?

                Jake can’t type his reply fast enough, the pictures and videos that Nick sends him few and far between but so good, and he’s starting to develop a thing for long fingers. Especially when they’re wrapped around a cock, and he’s mentioned to Nick that the idea of Nick’s hand wrapping around both of them gets him hot. The picture that comes through is gorgeous, Nick reclining and the picture down the length of his body, one leg stretched straight, the other bent, his cock hard in his hand as he jerks himself. The lighting is warm, like it was taken at either sunset or sunrise, all pink and peach hues. They’ve both improved in taking pictures, and he takes a screenshot so he can stare at it properly later rather than getting flustered about the time bar getting smaller.

>>Saw you take that screenshot.

>>What are you going to do about it?

>>Nothing. Just letting you know that I know you’re going to jerk off to it more than once.

>>Yep.

>>Going to work myself over thinking about getting my mouth on you, sinking down on your cock.

>>I can’t exactly take toys with me when I’m deployed, but I can finger myself and imagine that it’s you.

>>God Jas. Send me a picture?

>>Sure thing.

…            …            …

                Bradley and his squadron leave the carrier after four months and Jake wishes he was leaving as well. Nick has leave soon, it would line up beautifully, but he’s got another three months of this deployment, and then he has four weeks of leave, but Nick is meant to be deployed again by then. The tide has not magically turned in their favor and lined up their leaves and he keeps his most bitter disappointment to himself.

…            …            …

>>Well, you aren’t the only one having shitty sex. Man some guys are dicks.

>>What happened ? Or should I not ask?”

>>Just a hook up. Blew the guy and he didn’t even reciprocate. Tried to give me a handjob but he wasn’t even trying or into it.

>>That doesn’t seem fair?

>>Well, it’s not always fair, but I’d kind of gone in hoping for reciprocation as a bare minimum. Ah well. Can only go up from here.

2015

[birdofmay]

do have metal recommendations? I'm new to it. really completely new

*typing up a storm* You just activated the autism in me! 😄

Alright, here's a brief overview. Followers, feel free to recommend songs in the comments, if you listen to metal.

What bands you should know, at least their names:

Black Sabbath, Sepultura, Kiss, Van Halen, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, Pantera, Anthrax, Helloween.

No need to know and like their songs, just know that they exist. There are some more, but you'll encounter them eventually anyway, I'm sure. Note that certain old bands are controversial now, for example Pantera and Metallica.

Some recommendations:

Heavy Metal:

The "How it began" part. Just check out Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Black Sabbath. You should know

Thrash Metal:

The earlier albums of Metallica, Testament, Exodus, and of course Slayer. "Raining Blood"

is well known, and I connect "Bloodline"

with long road trips as a child.

Doom Metal:

Some Black Sabbath is also considered doom metal. Apart from that I recommend Pentagram and Witchfinder General.

Black Metal:

Not mine, personally, except for certain derivatives, but they'll come later. I like very few black metal songs. They are:

Death Metal:

Many subgenres, I personally prefer Melodic Death Metal. Cannibal Corpse is well-known and also Obituary. Check out Debauchery, some In Flames, Dark Tranquillity, and Arch Enemy too. Recommendation:

But to be honest, most Children of Bodom songs sound alike 😂

Dark Metal/Gothic Metal:

Hard to sort the whole discography of one band into this subgenre. Some Cradle of Filth, some Sirenia, some Samsas Traum, Type O Negative. I also like

Power Metal:

Sabaton, Powerwolf, Manowar (not everything), HammerFall, Grave Digger (not everything), Sonata Arctica, some Blind Guardian. Power Metal often has characteristics of Symphonic Metal in some songs, so it's hard to put one band in one strict category.

Symphonic Metal:

Nightwish, Xandria, Within Temptation, Epica. Too many favourites to recommend a specific song.

Progressive Metal:

Dream Theater, Opeth, Tool, Symphony X. Specific song:

Folk Metal:

Some Ensiferum, Eluveitie, Týr, Finntroll, Svartsot, Korpiklaani. Also The HU for Mongolian representation 😎 Folk Metal is huge, I just focus on "northern" stuff because I'm "northern" too. Song recommendation:

Viking Metal:

This is actually a "Whatever, as long as it's about Norse stuff and the Viking age" genre. This is why many death metal, folk metal, and power metal bands ALSO are considered viking metal.

Amon Amarth are very well-known, I'd recommend

Pagan Metal:

Also a "Whatever, as long" category. Most folk metal bands are simultaneously pagan metal. Moonsorrow are more black metal but also pagan metal, which is why I'll briefly mention them here.

There also are Varg, but if I'm not mistaken they had some right wing stuff going on, so be careful there. I'm not sure what happened, but I think some of the band members openly supported a neonazi group. Could be that the members were kicked out after that, but even if everything is alright now, they still have a negative connotation.

Somewhere in between all this, there's Alestorm. They're also considered pirate metal, btw. But I'm not actively into that, which is why I put them somewhere in-between.

Industrial Metal:

This is your outsider, and I think every band considered "Industrial Metal" is at the same time considered 5 genres more. Rammstein, Nine Inch Nails, Eisbrecher (some would say it's Gothic), Ministry.

Nu Metal:

Some people would say "Nu Metal isn't metal!!!", but I like it anyway. Check out Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, Korn, Disturbed. "Duality" by Slipknot is the song of a common meme ("I push my fingers into my eyes") 😄

Also Machine Head, but it's hard to categorise them. I just checked, Wikipedia says they're sometimes considered "neo-thrash". Well I guess they're a bit of everything, but their newer albums definitely have nu metal character.

Metalcore:

If you say you're a metalhead but only listen to metalcore, metalheads will hate you for this. Just so you know. ☝🏼 It's a valid genre, but you're on thin ice if you don't listen to other metal genres. There are many overlapping genres here, which is why, again, it's difficult to label bands.

Parkway Drive (some would scream that they're post hardcore), Silverstein (some would scream that they're hardcore punk, others that they're emo), As I Lay Dying, Killswitch Engage, Bullet For My Valentine (some would scream that they're emo, others would say they're heavy metal), Bring Me The Horizon depending on the song, August Burns Red.

Lamb of God are considered metalcore too, but in my opinion they're more metal than metalcore. Anyway I'll mention them here for the sake of classification.

Yeah, that's about it, I guess. This post is already very long, so I guess I better stop at this point. I hope from here on you'll manage to navigate through the big metal genre yourself 😄

P.S.: I forgot Trivium! "Feast Of Fire" is currently stuck in my head

[cassiaslair]

from i prevail's album, trauma ( 2019 ). slightly modified to fit dialogue prompts. if it's in parentheses, feel free to omit it.

bow down.

get on your knees & bow down.

i come alive, i'll survive, take on anything.

so paint a target on my back, let 'em come to me.

i'm on another level that you'll never reach.

if you seek forgiveness, you'll get nothing from me.

you will never know, it's the price i pay.

look into my eyes, we are not the same.

i'm in control, & you'll know my name.

i gave my life, gave it everything.

the best of your best ain't good enough.

keep running your mouth, & i'ma call your bluff.

so... i had this dream, it meant everything, & i watched it come alive.

i let you in, underneath my skin, & i learned to love the lies.

now i lay awake & i contemplate... have i become what i hate?

would you go to war? would you die for it?

paranoid.

something isn't right, i feel it in my bones.

every time i look around, it follows me home.

i get so stressed out when my head gets loud.

all this emptiness inside, i can't fill the void in my mind.

sometimes i just wanna die (wish that i could tell you why).

is it all inside my head?

i just can't escape the noise.

i think i'm paranoid.

every time you leave.

all i ever wanted was to find someone.

holding it together is the hardest part.

every time you leave, i lose a little piece of me.

every time we speak, words don't do it justice.

it's just us from here.

finishing the puzzle is the hardest part.

everyday wishin' you could stay, 'cause our minds may change, but our hearts remain.

i can't believe you gotta go away again.

if you ever start to hesitate & you feel the weight, it starts to break.

we're not the same; know that this means everything to me.

no one said life gets in the way.

rise above it.

i've been patiently waiting, tying my stomach in knots.

i've been lost in the moment, going to war with my thoughts.

if you're feeling the pressure, the pressure's all that i got.

so if you think you're ready, i'm here to tell you you're not.

you're in over your head.

i'll be damned if i ever let you get me again.

i will stop at nothing 'cause i was made to rise above it.

one of these days, everyone will know (but for now i stand alone).

i count my enemies like trophies.

i've got nothing left to prove.

when i look at you, all i see are trophies.

i'm not afraid to put it all on the line (like it runs in my veins).

you cannot stop me, so don't even try.

breaking down.

i think... i think too much.

i'm a little bit paranoid.

i think i'm breaking (down).

maybe it's in my blood.

hate every single second, minute, hour, every day.

everybody's out to get you.

every time they ask me, i just tell 'em that i'm fine.

i try to hide my demons, but they only multiply.

everybody fucking hates you.

i say i'm feeling hopeless, but no one's listening.

i don't really like myself.

DOA.

on our knees, we pray as we waste away.

we dig our grave, dead on arrival.

i close my eyes & contemplate on why i chose to be great.

i find myself trying to escape from where i'm supposed to be safe.

maybe i should pray like i'm supposed to be saved.

sometimes i feel like getting even, but i choose to behave.

i'm mentally locked in a prison (& i need bail).

i wish i was more flourished. i wish i had more courage.

i wonder if it's all worth it (i wonder...).

dead is the land of the free.

am i not worth saving?

gasoline.

let's burn it fucking down.

back from the dead to tell you that i'm alive.

killed the old way (but i survived).

fuck the blueprint.

death or exile, you decide.

tell 'em all that i made my name.

now it's mine to send up in flames.

this right here is as far as you go.

this right here is where i lose control.

burn it all down, i don't give a fuck.

fuck what they say, fuck everything.

kill it all (kill everything).

nothing but red inside when i close my eyes.

break or bow down, you decide.

tell 'em all that you can't be saved.

tell 'em all that you dug this grave.

learn to live in this mess you made.

hurricane.

tell me i was never good enough.

remind me of the demons that i've been running from.

tell me who the hell you thought i was.

just blame it on the person, the person i've become.

lately, i don't give a fuck.

i can't be myself when i'm with anyone.

(&) maybe, i'm already gone.

i'll never be the same.

it hit me like a hurricane.

i don't know why i drown my mind (in everything they say).

it got the best of me.

tell me that i'm lost inside my mind.

i reach out, but it's pulling me under.

remind me i've been searching for something i won't find.

tell me i was never worth the time.

just blame it on the person you think i left behind.

look into my eyes.

believe me that the storm is coming.

let me be sad.

i'm holding back right now.

('cause) i'm numb to what's around.

i miss the life i used to have (with you right here).

now everything is turning grey.

i'm blacking out the shades for now.

let me be sad.

let me be sad, even for a little while. just a chance to catch my breath.

let me be sad, even for a little while, 'cause it's all that i have left.

can you see it in my eyes, i've been distant?

i can't tell if it's the end or the beginning.

i know i haven't been myself, i'll admit it.

i put up walls so if i burned any bridges, just know i'm doing everything i can to try & fix it (but knowing me i'll probably miss it).

these voices get so vicious.

feels like i'm ripping stitches.

i wish some days i could go back (before life changed, it was so fast).

that time is gone, & i know that (so please, let me be sad).

when all i see are memories, i don't wanna lose a thing.

low.

i'm so damn low.

i can't lie, i'm falling (the floor gave out again).

the walls are caving in.

i've got these voices in my head.

i don't know why i'm broken.

my world is sinking in.

they tell me that i'm not enough.

is it my time?

even when i'm high, i still feel low.

voices in my head won't leave me alone.

i keep falling.

i'm in over my head again.

i'm on my own, i know it.

i think i'm too far gone to save.

i can't let go. i'm holding, i feel it slip away.

the more they say, the more they cut.

i'm hanging by a thread (don't know if i let go).

i'm doing everything i can to fix the problem.

this is how it feels when you hit rock bottom.

deadweight.

i'm cutting out the deadweight.

let me take a second to get this through to you.

it's time you get put in the rearview.

cut ties, there's nothing left to your lies, i'm seeing right through.

let me lay it out so it's clear for you to see.

i'm done with the ones that don't believe.

i'm cutting out the ones who drag me down.

all this negativity weighing down on me.

admit it's so pathetic to think i'd carry you.

i'd rather watch all the lows you sink to.

now i can see what you're really all about.

turn your back & run your mouth.

i laugh at all the time you wasted.

you're bitter, i can fucking taste it.

so if you think that you can drag me down, it's gonna come back around.

keep it up, motherfucker (i'll cut you out).

i don't belong here.

'cause i don't belong here.

those days, it was all i wanted.

nowadays, it feels all the same.

used to stare at my bedroom ceiling wishing everything would change.

now it's hard when you're always searching for the life that you left behind.

time disappears, year after year.

how the hell did i get here?

i feel so far away.

minutes turn to hours & the hours into days.

i gave up everything.

you don't know what you got until you throw it all away.

looking back on the past, all the time i wasted...

i'm running from everyone that tells me that i'm fading out.

must be mistaken 'cause i don't feel anything.

you know i got this brain, it drives me insane.

some days i feel i can't take the pain.

i can't explain it 'cause i don't need anything.

[ventricide]

a collection of lyrics from Bring Me The Horizon's album, POST HUMAN: NeX GEn! feel free to adjust context, pronouns, and wording as needed.

YOUtopia

❝ there's a place i wanna take you, but i'm not quite there myself yet. ❞

❝ there is a home, somewhere, beyond my bones. ❞

❝ and i'm just too terrified to dive inside. ❞

❝ hard to ignore, we're sick to the core. ❞

❝ a world's been buried, whеre love is the law. ❞

❝ stop pushing daisies, no one wants flowers when they're dead. ❞

❝ golden raspberry, for the performance in your head. ❞

❝ there is a home, beyond our bones. ❞

❝ it's okay to cry. ❞

❝ what was it like? ❞

❝ it's like i walked into a dream, and stepped out of the coma. ❞

Kool-Aid

❝ we are the children of the devolution. ❞

❝ is this what you wanted? ❞

❝ do you want some more? ❞

❝ who’s keeping score? ❞

❝ 'cause you got a taste now, drank the kool-aid by the jug. ❞

❝ so suffer your fate. ❞

❝ oh, come here and give me a hug. ❞

❝ nobody loves you like i love you, oh, my dear. ❞

❝ you should've known that this was gonna end in tears. ❞

❝ i got my hands around your throat, i love the way you choke. ❞

❝ 'cause i am yours and you are mine, i'll never let you go. ❞

Top 10 staTues tHat CriEd bloOd

❝ i guess that some of us are just born with tragedy in our blood. ❞

❝ it's just basic chemistry. ❞

❝ or maybe all these open wounds, is how the light gets into you. ❞

❝ 'cause i'm starting to realize, no one's gonna come and rescue me, ❞

❝ i'm drowning in my sleep, the scars have got too deep. ❞

❝ no amount of love could set you free. ❞

❝ the fight's inside, i'll take myself to hell and back. ❞

❝ tonight we go to war. ❞

❝ someone put a gun straight to our hearts, and paint the walls with our love. ❞

❝ there's a world of hurt in us. ❞

❝ maybe once we spill our guts, we can stitch ourselves back up. ❞

❝ yeah, i know that you're low. but once you hit the bottom, at least there's nowhere to go but up. ❞

❝ the hardest thing you'll ever know, is there's no love like your own. ❞

❝ it was so comforting, somewhere. ❞

​liMOusIne

❝ drag me down some more, get me low like a basement. ❞

❝ i hope that you wrote all your songs for me. ❞

❝ on my last nerve, burnt out all my veins. ❞

❝ feelin' good but it's never good enough. ❞

❝ got a bellyache crawlin' in my guts again. ❞

❝ come closer, i'll swallow the bile for you. ❞

❝ don't want closure, i'll stitch myself up alone. ❞

❝ kiss the ground i walk, i'm a fool for you. ❞

❝ hop inside, take a ride to the top. ❞

❝ we can brake, but we're never gonna stop. ❞

❝ got a death wish tuggin' on my sleeves again. ❞

❝ it's not over, didn't want to let go. ❞

❝ so lock all the doors, 'cause i'm insecure. ❞

❝ what the fuck you waiting for? ❞

❝ do you like the way your skin crawls? how it makes your body twitch? ❞

❝ does it make you sick? ❞

DArkSide

❝ think my angel's fallen. ❞

❝ picked the stitches, now i can't stop bleeding. ❞

❝ three in the morning, i ain't slept all weekend. ❞

❝ don't give a fuck if my heart stops beating. ❞

❝ hey, i'm begging you to stay. ❞

❝ my dark side won today. ❞

❝ my heart keeps breaking, over and over. ❞

❝ hey, don't let me out your sight, i can't trust myself tonight. ❞

❝ can you talk me off the ledge again? ❞

❝ something haunts me. ❞

❝ but there's no escaping. ❞

❝ something's in the way, don't know what i can say. ❞

❝ memories are haunting me. ❞

❝ so bury me alive, there's nowhere left to hide. ❞

❝ maybe i won't miss me when i'm gone. ❞

​​a bulleT w- my namE On

❝ i guess this is goodbye. ❞

❝ i guess we got what we deserved. ❞

❝ hold on to your heart, it's almost over. ❞

❝ i guess i should've known. ❞

❝ i guess a part of me still hoped. ❞

❝ the beat in my chest sounds like a swan song. ❞

❝ you got a bullet with my name on it. ❞

❝ a moment of silence for a lifetime laid to waste. ❞

❝ still sounds like violence. ❞

❝ still got both feet in the grave. ❞

❝ you can't drown it out. ❞

❝ i'm dreaming backwards, nobody answers. ❞

❝ i won't look down again. ❞

❝ i'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife? ❞

❝ let me kiss it better this time. ❞

❝ i promise that i'll die. ❞

❝ if jesus christ returns, we'll just kill the fucker twice. ❞

❝ we get so lost inside of your eyes. ❞

❝ your lullabies keep me awake. ❞

❝ i picked up your tab, paid in blood. ❞

❝ saw things you never should. ❞

❝ we feel safe in our lives, not masks, and not distractions. and identify the roles society gives us. ❞

❝ we're corrupted when we forget who we are. ❞

❝ her plan's to harvest them as batteries. ❞

❝ subjects suffered profound disturbances, psychosis, organ failure. their bodies are vegetative. ❞

❝ seek the truth, follow the six-rayed star.❞

❝ for my part in this, god forgive me. ❞

​n/A

❝ okay, folks, we've got a new face joining us. ❞

❝ why don't you go ahead and share a little bit about yourself? ❞

❝ hi, my name's [muse name] and i'm an addict. ❞

❝ i'm here 'cause i'm not quite all there. ❞

❝ 'cause what used to be my idea of a laugh is now just me checking my pulse in my underwear. ❞

❝ so maybe i should drop dead, eat shit, go to hell. ❞

❝ i could jump headfirst out the window. ❞

❝ dark thoughts keep on filling up in my mind. ❞

❝ kinda wanna get fucked, make love to a chainsaw. ❞

❝ not sure i'll be coming back down this time. ❞

❝ hello, [muse name], you fucking knobhead. ❞

❝ did you think you had us fooled? ❞

❝ and, baby, i know that i told you i was out of the woods, but i still left a kеy under the mat for the wolvеs. ❞

❝ got out on good behavior. ❞

❝ i'm sorry, kid, but i can't be your savior. ❞

❝ i don't know what you expected. ❞

❝ 'cause i'm fucking losing it, get a grip, ignore all the signs. ❞

❝ the voices in my head keep telling me i'm fine. ❞

❝ out of luck, what the fuck? ❞

❝ what am i gonna do? ❞

❝ where did it go wrong? ❞

LosT

❝ watching evangelion with a big fat slug of ketamine, i lost the plot a little while ago. ❞

❝ my dog just died, my friends hate me. ❞

❝ i saw myself on MTV. ❞

❝ my ego is not my amigo. ❞

❝ i don't think i belong on this planet. ❞

❝ it's too much to take, i can't understand it. ❞

❝ someone tell me, why am i this way? ❞

❝ stupid medicine, not doin' anything. ❞

❝ what the hell is fucking wrong with me? ❞

❝ i guess there's no remedy, i'm so terribly lost. ❞

❝ i used to go to therapy, but the doctor tried to section me. ❞

❝ the next time that i open up to someone will be my autopsy. ❞

❝ if i keep this up, i think i'm gonna break down. ❞

​sTraNgeRs

❝ maybe i'll just be fucked up forever, should have figured myself out by now. ❞

❝ and i don't wanna tear myself open, no, but it's hard to care when you bleed out. ❞

❝ so won't you break me down, make me get better? ❞

❝ i confess i'm a mess, some kind of error. ❞

❝ well, maybe i was destined to disappear. ❞

❝ we're just a room full of strangers, looking for something to save us. ❞

❝ alone together, we're dying to live and we're living to die. ❞

❝ well, i guess my guardian angel missed the memo, 'cause we're walking on razors again. ❞

❝ and we swore to god we'd never let this happen, no. ❞

❝ we've dragged ourselves through hell, and we'll be damned if we go back. ❞

❝ it never stops, can't erase this. ❞

❝ so cross out my eyes, tear the pages. ❞

❝ 'cause you and i, we're just dying to live and we're living to die. ❞

❝ where did we go? ❞

❝ we're all alone, no place like home. ❞

❝ take us back to yesterday. ❞

❝ save us from ourselves. ❞

R.i.p. (duskCOre RemIx)

❝ let's motherfucking go. ❞

❝ did my back hurt your knife? ❞

❝ do you think you're bulletproof? ❞

❝ go chat shit all you like, you and i both know the truth. ❞

❝ plot twist, i don't give two shits about you, or whether you exist. ❞

❝ trippin' if you think there'll be a happy ending. ❞

❝ still alive, but you're dead to me. ❞

❝ there's voices in my head that'll never leave. ❞

❝ wish i could forget all these memories. ❞

❝ i don't know why you keep diggin' your own grave. ❞

❝ your therapist is gonna need some therapy. ❞

❝ you and me are done, so see you later, punk. ❞

❝ in a bit mate, it's been fun, in a near-death kind of way. ❞

❝ it's people like you, darling, that give humans a bad name. ❞

❝ make me the villain if you want. ❞

❝ so keep your name out my mouth, 'cause i wouldn't wanna smash that pretty glass house. ❞

❝ a parasite, you're a heart disease. so stay the fuck away from me. ❞

❝ you and me are done, so see you later, creep. ❞

❝ and although they are no longer with us, they live on in our thoughts and in our hearts. ❞

❝ we will start today's ceremony with a few words from a dear friend. ❞

AmEN!

❝ i hope you have fun rotting in hell. ❞

❝ suck a dick, heretic. ❞

❝ i hate you, and i'd like to see you burn, burn, burn. ❞

❝ so tell all your friends, this is the end of everything. ❞

❝ too late to repent, the wicked will reap what they sow. ❞

❝ can i get an amen? ❞

❝ somebody call the exorcist. this is heresy, the child is possessed. ❞

❝ don't you know, you're so six-six-sick? ❞

❝ yeah, you fanatics prey on me, hate on me, patiently waiting to watch me bleed. ❞

❝ get your head from out of my ass, got me feeling like a human centipede. ❞

❝ just let me breathe, stay the fuck away from me. ❞

❝ i don't really want me as my own enemy. ❞

❝ just let me suffer, just let me breathe. ❞

❝ just let me suffer, suffer in peace. ❞

❝ i'm about to lose control. ❞

❝ i execute judgment on you, you wicked demon. ❞

❝ you burn in hell, it's over. ❞

❝ wow, that's really cool. ❞

DiE4u

❝ you know that i'd die for you, cry for you. ❞

❝ you know that i'd breathe for you, i'd bleed for you. ❞

❝ let me see my halo, even though it's painful. ❞

❝ i'm prepared to lose. ❞

❝ i keep holding my breath for a miracle, hoping the hole in my heart would've healed somehow. ❞

❝ feeling so fucking close to the edge right now. ❞

❝ you know you're everything i hate, wish i could escape. ❞

❝ but you know i would die for you. ❞

❝ 'cause i've died inside a thousand times, but still i'd kill myself for you. ❞

❝ 'cause the truth of it, you could slit my wrists, and i'd write your name in a heart with the hemorrhage. ❞

❝ you know it's you i need to kick, you make me feel like shit. ❞

❝ i don't wanna die for you. ❞

❝ this isn't love, this is a car crash. ❞

❝ this isn't love, this is a bloodbath. ❞

❝ this isn't love, this is a sentence. ❞

❝ it's a bullet in the head, so pull the trigger. ❞

DIg It

❝ i'm sorry, this directory is encrypted, please enter your cipher to continue. ❞

❝ you have a hundred and thirty two documents and one audio log, would you like to listen? ❞

❝ pins and needles in my face, i can't trust my feelings anymore. ❞

❝ shouldn't have looked behind the veil, my whole world's at war. ❞

❝ 'cause they've been feeding us a fable. ❞

❝ i can't keep quiet at the table anymore, no. ❞

❝ i hate my fucking guts right now, reckon you'd be better if i nеver existed. ❞

❝ i'm sorry that i lеt you down. ❞

❝ found a way to hide and now i'm addicted. ❞

❝ give me something to believe in, some kind of system override. ❞

❝ i need to give my ghost a reason to let it slide. ❞

❝ 'cause everyone's too scared to heal, they don't give a fuck how they feel. ❞

❝ i just don't know how to deal anymore. ❞

❝ well, maybe the damage is done, maybe the darkness has won. ❞

❝ we were programmed just to suffer. ❞

❝ 'cause the world is a scary place, scary future, scary fate. ❞

❝ thought the pain would teach me somehow, but the only thing i figured out, is life is a grave... and i dig it. ❞

❝ i don't wanna lose myself again. ❞

❝ 'cause the world is a scary place, scary humans, scary race. ❞

❝ when you find this letter, hope you don't get it twisted. ❞

❝ hello, this is [muse name], your personal multidimensional friend. ❞

❝ it looks like i encountered a fatal error, please boot me in safe mode and enter the serial number located on the side of my head. ❞

[thaywrites]

ᯓ★ PALAYE ROYALE PROMPTS, a collection of prompts / lyrics taken from palaye royale’s songs from their album, the bastards.

( mentions of possibly triggering subjects such as violence, self-harm, death and more. ) 

✦ LITTLE BASTARDS

i can’t take this. i’ve been a little patient.

i’ve got to get away a little faster.

run, you little bastards.

fake friends all around, they watch while i drown. no one is there to help me.

sometimes i’ve been losing my mind, running out of faith.

i’ve been feeling lonely, put me in my place.

so, fuck you — i don’t even like you.

no sleep, got another nosebleed. i can’t feel my face.

✦ ANXIETY

indecisions have been breaking my sanity.

retaliation when i’m full of anxiety.

a band-aid on a bullet hole that’s still bleeding.

numb you up until you can’t feel a goddamn thing.

a generation full of anti-sobriety. a generation that is full of anxiety.

all the voices in your head that keep talking.

all the blood on your skin that keeps crawling.

i was born to be anything i wanted to be, raised to be fucking mean.

i’m a masterpiece.

blasphemy meet again in a world so vicious.

mothers scream, fathers drink and all you bastards scream.

✦ TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT I DIE

lonely, another day. drowning, please save me.

i am struggling in my own daydream.

i know i can’t live much longer, hear the angels sing.

could I be a prisoner to the voices in my brain.

my mind is gone to waste, can’t stand to look at my face.

all these thoughts inside my head will be silenced by the bang.

believe me when i say tonight is the night i die.

as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i look at you as i take my last breath.

as i die and fall to the floor, my pain and suffering is no more.

✦ LONELY

my life don’t mean that much to me so i’m living for you.

and you can’t stand the sight of me so what’s the point of this fucked up catastrophe?

i pop these pills to waste some time as i’m fading.

too lazy for a suicide, i just watch the days pass hoping to die.

daydreaming of my funeral — like who would show, bet no one would go.

hey dad, would you show up for me now? just to bury your little boy in the ground.

you broke my heart when you left me.

so sick and tired of being alone. so long, farewell — i’m on my own.

i dug this grave i call my home.

✦ NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

twist the knife just a bit further.

don’t look at me — i think about murder.

i think i’m about to explode. i think i’m goin’ to have a nervous breakdown.

start to feel myself panic again and all the blood rushes to my head.

you say you love me but you still left me — i guess that’s why i hate myself.

you say it’s over but you’re still calling — i guess that’s why i live in hell.

my brain has been fucked enough. please, stop wasting all my thoughts.

cut my throat and please let me go.

✦ MASOCHIST

’cause i’ve been craving your sweet haven.

so i keep turning while your body burns to the ground.

don’t try to tell me that i should go softly.

just look me in my eyes and feed me your sweet lies.

i’ll cut through your alibis.

hang a cross upside down. your church is burning down.

just take me for the night.

✦ BLACK SHEEP

do you see what i’ve become? why are you still holding on?

something lingers in my veins, that’s telling me i’m not the same.

i am sinking now. the water’s over my ears and i can’t hear no sounds.

scream out or drown — can you hear the voice say now?

go home and back to sleep, and count the black sheep. 

go on away from me, i am the black sheep.

you said it’s all in my head, you said it’s all in my brain.

there’s nothing left that you can say to me.

i am everything you hate.

i am unwanted, i’m not the answer. you were hoping that i’d change.

you push me down once again because i seem different.

✦ STAY

i see you for what you are

it’s something in your eyes that look past my scars.

where do you go when you leave in the night? ‘cause i see those teary eyes.

i am the only hope for you and you are the only hope for me, too.

i just wanted you.

so stay this time. don’t go away.

the end is near, i really don’t want to know.

it’s haunting me to watch you go.

✦ REDEEMER

can’t you see that everyone is dying?

the animals are crying, religions are dividing as my family keeps on fighting.

now i’m caught in something — my eternal suffering.

looking for the meaning of it all but i got nothing.

don’t know where i’ll go when i die, must be better than this.

ain’t it sad when you got nowhere to go? got no place to call your home. burden to everyone you know.

i try just not to think about my life so i do another line. it keeps me numb just for the night.

and i’m here just waiting for you to come home.

and i’m screaming all on my own with the revolver and a note.

will you please pick up the phone? will you please come back home?

[bangchansgirlsblog]

My Biggest Regret

Part four:

**

"Y/n pass me the tomatoes please,"

Chan's mum and Y/n had started cooking a big meal for the boys. It was currently 5 in the evening and Chan's dad had gone to pick up the boys from the airport leaving Hannah, Y/n and his mum cooking in a hot kitchen for 9 men. 9 grown men meant a lot of meat, a lot of bread and a lot of food in general.

"Here you go auntie," she passed the tomatoes and started on the dessert. Chan's favorite cheesecake. She hadn’t cooked it in a while but she knew she could, after all she made sure to in-grave the steps in her brain just incase Chan had ever asked her to make it for him.

"Mum I don't know why we're cooking so much for him!" This was the 50th time that evening that Hannah was complaining, "there just going to finish all this in 10 minutes!"

"Aish!" She smacked Hannah’s arm lightly causing Y/n to smile at the two and giggle, "all you've done is complain since morning! Be like Y/n and actually help," Hannah rolled her eyes and walked over to the oven to check on whatever was inside there.

"Y/nnie, my love, maybe go rest a little bit? You've been on your feet for a few hours,"

"It's okay auntie, we're almost done anyway so don't worry about it," Y/n assured Mama Bhang.

"Okay sweetie but aren't you so excited! Channie comes home!" She clapped her hands and spun a little.

"Yes I am excited, woah woah-" Y/n quickly grabbed the spoon that was about to hit the ground and handed it back to her.

"We must celebrate today don't you think?" The older lady stood by the stove and stirred one of the broths that were cooking, "how about some wine?"

"Mum, where shall I put this?" Hannah was holding a tray and it looked very hot. She was sweating a little too just like the rest of them.

"Just put it by the counter and start plating everything baby," she instructed the girl before turning back to a very concentrated Y/n, "so wine?"

"Yeah sure, I can go out and get some-"

"Oh! Don't be silly! You really thought I wouldn't have a stash of wine?" She teased and walked over to the caboards in the leaving room and walked back with two bottles in hand.

"Are we finishing both of them?" Y/n asked in shock looking at her elder grabbing three cups and setting them down.

"Oh sweetie! If we can, why not? We've been in the kitchen for hours! Don't we deserve this?" She poured and filled the glasses with wine and handed them out.

"Okay! I'm almost done with the sauce, I'm moving the hotpot onto the dining table, you two finish dishing up plates and start bringing them out,"

"Okay Mum, what about the ice cream? Should we put them in the coolers?"

"No, just feel the coolers with ice," she instructed Hannah before leaving the two in the kitchen.

"I've never seen her this happy before," Y/n giggled and started to stack the foods on the plates.

"Same to be honest, I don't think she was even this happy when I graduated," Hannah rolled her eyes and took a sip of her wine.

"Oh! Don't say that Hannah, you know we were all so excited," Y/n had attended the graduation and made sure to take a lot of pictures cause she was proud and she wanted to make an album of memories to give to Chan when he came back. She had stacked a lot of pictures of things he had missed including birthdays, graduations (including hers) and just casual dinners and parties. The book was thick and she couldn't wait to hand it to the boy.

"I just don't under why-"

"Hannah you can't have this grudge with your brother, I was also in pain and I was hurt but you can't keep holding onto the grudge, his on his way home right now, you should be celebrating. Don't ruin it by being angry! Let him get home and after dinner you can talk to him about it okay?"

"Ugh I hate it when you're right," Hannah rolled her eyes. They both took another sip from their glasses and finished up setting the dining table.

The balcony door was open revealing the hot grill outside waiting for Chan's dad to put the steak's on the grill.

It was around 6:30. The glasses of wine were empty and now filled again. They were all washing up the dishes and cleaning up the house because Mama Bhang had recieved a text saying they were pulling up in the drive way.

Y/n's stomach started to churn, she couldn't believe. Chan was here. Chan was finally here. The glass in her hand was suddenly empty again. She had chugged it down.

"Okay should we go take a shower now?" Hannah asked as she finished wiping the table. Her mum was laying blankets on the couch incase anyone was going to sleep on it and she put out a few snacks on the table for the boys.

"Yeah let's go," Y/n agreed and headed to Hannah's room. She closed the door behind them and Hannah poured another glass for Y/n.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Y/n asked already tipsy. They both giggled as Hannah nodded her head.

"If we're going to do this, let's atleast do it drunk?" She justified, well questioned.

"You're so silly!" Y/n chuckled and grabbed her towel to head into the bathroom.

Her head was spinning a little but she couldn't help but overthink everything. She couldn't contain her emotions. She couldn't explain how she felt. She could just simple day she was happy but that couldn't explain all of her emotions. She wanted answers from Chan. Why did he disappear? Did he still love her? Because she made sure to keep herself pure for him. She made sure to keep herself innocent for him because he had promised to be her first in everything.

"Y/n! Hurry up girl!" The knock on the door causes her to jump out of her trance and quickly get out of the bathroom. Hannah was sat on the bed scrolling through her socials.

“Okay I’m done,” she said while rolling her eyes playfully.

"Finally! I thought you passed out or something," Y/n put down her toilet bag and get dressed as Hannah was taking her shower.

She had decided to wear a cute blue body hugging dress that she had gotten from skims with a white and blue cardigan.

She then went on to put on some perfume and do a little bit of makeup. Her hair was then slicked back into a pony tail.

When Hannah was done she also wore something similar to Y/n's but hers was in red and she let her hair fall since it wasn't long enough to be put up.

They decided to take a few selfies and pictures since they both could agree they looked really cute and wifey material.

"Girls?! There here!" They hear Chan's mum yell throught he house. The two got up and finished the wine in their glasses and made their way downstairs.

"Oh my girls! You both look so beautiful," she cooed at the sight of both of them.

"Thank you mum! Now where are they?" Hannah was impatient, she wanted to see her brother and his friends.

The door handle wiggled and then opened revealing her dad and a bunch of people behind him.

"Geuss who's home," his voice boomed throughout the whole house.

"Move!" His mum run past his dad and jumped into Chan's arms. Her body trembled against his as she started to cry.

It was a beautiful sight and Hannah and Y/n couldn't help but tear up a little.

"Oh my baby Boy! I missed you so much. This can't be real," she cried in his arms as Chan allowed her too.

"Hey Mum, I missed you so much," he wouldn't admit it but tears dropped from his eyes aswell. He did miss his mum with everything in him.

"Well since those two are busy," Chan's dad cleared his throat while chuckling, "girls these are the guys, introduce yourselves," he encourages the two girls that stood behind the couches.

"Hey, I'm Hannah, Hannah Bhang. His little sister and this is Y/n, Y/n Y/l/n. She's a family friend." Hannah smiled and waved. Y/n waved too, since she wasn't used to being people around her age she looked terrified but in all honesty she was just shy.

"Nice to meet you finally! I'm leeknow," he walked over to them to shake their hand. "That's Changbin, Han, Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin and I.N," he points at the different guys. They both smiled and waved at each of them. Y/n was trying so hard to remember all their names.

The blonde guy caught her eye though. Hyunjin was it? His was so pretty but what made her fall for him more was his soft plump lips.

"Welcome to Australia," Y/n finally said, "Make yourself at home." She smiled and lead them to sit down.

"Hey! hey! hey! I haven't met them yet!" Chan's mum said after she finally let go of Chan and dragged the boy into the house, they all chuckle and get up again to greet their elder. She made sure to give them hugs and kisses.

"Hannah!" A not so familiar voice called distracting them from the sight in-front of them. They both turn to Chan. "Are you not going to kiss your brother hello?" He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. His eyes automatically falling on Y/n.

He gasps and analyzes her figure, she was even more beautiful than he could remember. She looked so innocent and so grown up now.

The guilt started to eat away at him. It started to slowly creep up and it made his body heat up.

"Okay okay you're squeezing me to death!" Hannah was panting and trying to wiggle out of his strong grip.

"Woah," was all he could say. He almost even dropped his travel bag. "Y/n?"

"Hey Channie!" She smiled and waved at the boy who quite literally looked like he was about to pass out.

"Long time no see ehhh?"

**

[mistydeyes]

OMG THERES 1K OF YOU!! I cannot believe it! Thank you all so much for all the love and support these last few months :) Literally tearing up at how many people love my works. It all started with a silly little pharmacist fic and look at where we are now!

To celebrate, I will be opening up my inbox for some prompts! For the next week, feel free to send me a character, a prompt below, and any other details (ex. female, male, or g/n character) :)

aesthetic prompts 💌 - CLOSED NOW! thank you for all the submissions :)

soft and cute - all fluff!

vase of flowers - they return home to your door with a small bouquet of flowers with rudy

loveseat - shopping for furniture for your shared home

linen tablecloths - hosting a dinner party (one that is pinterest worthy)

orange juice - sick days call for the best care

vintage maps - a spontaneous trip with an event filled itinerary

cherry lip balm - what was your first kiss like? with graves

paper rings - “put this on” “why did you make a ring out of the straw wrapper?”

ramekins of soup - you both are not experienced chefs but you try a new recipe in the kitchen

tuberose- looking at old photo albums and reminiscing on old memories

tote bags - “hey can you hold this for me?” “why do you have so many things?” “it’s not my fault these pockets don’t hold anything”

sugar cubes - they surprise you with your favorite dessert/sweet treat with price

music - “i made you a playlist!”

pearls - a fancy dinner out with expensive clothes and dining

folded sheets - "hi, i'm your neighbor across the hall :)"

gold - a small gifted ring as a token of your love with price

unlit cigarette - meeting in the most unexpected of places

hot chocolate - a warm snowed in cabin with nowhere to go

house plant - “for your new apartment!” “you know i’m not here enough to water that”

pastel bonnets and rattles - “we are NOT naming our child that”

perfume - perfume bottles decorate your bureau and you decide to let them choose your scent for the day with gaz

friendship bracelets - friends don't look at friends that way, is there something between us? with ghost

shower of tears - angst

crystal glasses - a fight ends with shattered wine glasses and someone is left to pick up the pieces with gaz

running mascara - "i can't believe you would say that to me" with the 141

hyacinth - they decide to interrupt the wedding just as you're about to say your vows with ghost

cardigans - "please don't go, please don't leave me" with ghost

sea salt - you can't do this anymore and just need to get away from them

stars - "do you think in another universe things would have worked out for us?"

cubic zirconia - you both come to the realization that your relationship is beyond repair

cold sheets - "can you hold me just one more time?" with soap and gaz

hydrangeas - a sudden death leaves one of you without the other for the rest of time

cocktails - "you need to stop drinking too much" "what do you know?"

graveyard - "please i don't want to die" with price

enlisted - military au

empty cartridges - "I want you to run, I'll cover you!"

uniforms - they sure clean up well as you look at them in their dress uniform with price

cigarette smoke - you share a cigarette (and exchange indirect kisses) while on patrol with ghost

confidential files - you're the newest addition to the team and you recognize a familiar face

jacket - you forgot to pack you winter gear and they're helping you avoid the cold

angel - this time you're their knight in shining armor as you save them with soap | with price

manila folders - "I'm being transferred to another unit"

bandages - you are the only one with the med kit and are tasked with patching them up

barbells - "you're doing it wrong, let me show you"

MREs - "can we switch? this food is absolute shit"

hit the showers (18+) - a prank ends with you getting your clothes and towel stolen with soap

wigs - you get sent undercover with them

hot and seductive - smut (18+)

lace (18+) - “wait for me in the bedroom, i have a surprise”with soap

stained lipstick (18+) - rough kisses in the back of an uber with gaz | with ghost

stolen glaces (18+) - "are you going to kiss me or not?"

tanning lotion (18+) - you just wanted help with an even lotion application but now their touch is venturing elsewhere

black and white photos (18+) - you take a few photos so they can remember you (and your body) while on deployment with price: part i and part ii

fruit juice (18+) - "let's test out that theory about drinking pineapple juice"

morning sun (18+) - you have nowhere to go and decide to spend it in bed ;) with ghost | with gaz | with price

silk (18+) - “you look absolutely gorgeous tonight”