#i just have to vent about it on my blog first

[orriculum]

Do you miss being a witchcraft blog?

Sometimes.

It was weirdly a lot of work. I put so much goddamn effort into it. And at first it was worth it. The community, the friends. There's some good memories there.

At some points I felt like an unpaid librarian. People constantly just dropped requests for spells and I was constantly going through my archive for them. People I would never hear from again, it was all so transactional.

I didn't enjoy the harassment from people who thought cutesy witchcraft was cringe and thought it was cool to reblog my selfies and make shitty comments about my weight. I know you're supposed to act like that shit just bounces off but it sucked. Not to mention lot of people came to me with their problems -- huge problems, like divorce, money issues, addiction, and I was like 19? I had no life experience to offer real advice. People mostly just wanted a place to vent I think, and they poured all their grief into my inbox. I did a lot of listening and offering sympathies, I don't know if it ever helped. I still wonder about some of them.

A lot of good things came from it overall though. I found some confidence and experience in self publishing. Small business type skills that helped me when I did the freelance artist thing.

I'm having fun with what I'm doing now, writing the stupidest orc smut I can imagine. It makes me deliriously happy and I'm sorry simply nothing else compares

[milkoomi]

Hi I adore you and your blog, you definitely inspire me. Do you have any advice for students who are behind in their studies?

hi lovely anon!! thank you so so much for your kindness and support towards me and my blog! it means so much to me that there are people like you who get inspired because of what i’ve created! so thank you!! 🤍

academic track reset tips. ᥫ᭡

falling behind is extremely anxiety inducing and can feel disastrously overwhelming. i promise you, i’ve been there before and i completely understand the dread that comes with it. you feel one too many steps behind everyone else and it feels like the workload is suffocating you. but i promise you can get yourself back up and on track again!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — gentle reminders

first and foremost, i want you to know that you will be okay. things happen in life that we can’t always control, but i promise it’s 100% okay! you will get through this and you will get back to where you need to be! you aren’t a failure just because you’re behind.

think of it this way: let’s say you have a really good book that you’ve been reading for fun (or maybe there’s a show you’ve been watching!) but you had to take some time away from reading, but with any good book or show you’re watching, you can always come back to it and pick up where you left off! it isn’t going anywhere!

faustina’s official guide to getting back on track:

୨ৎ — emotional & situational processing

take some time to process your emotions because i’m sure there’s quite a few things you’re feeling right now!

let your feelings flow

cry, scream into a pillow, angrily scribble all your emotions and thoughts onto paper; just do whatever it is you need to do to let your feelings out (in a healthy manner of course). give yourself some time to feel your emotions, but don’t let it draw on!

journal dump: write down everything you’re feeling and thinking, talk about how stressed out and anxious you are, vent about how disappointed you feel. just dump it all in writing!

reach out to a loved one: if you need a shoulder to cry on, don’t hesitate to talk to someone close to you! your friends, family, and other loved ones are there to support you!

reflect on your situation

i personally either wrote in my journal, talked to my therapist, or even just simply thought about my situation alone, but take some time to reflect on what’s going on.

how’s your health? could there maybe be some underlying mental/emotional/physical health issues causing you to fall behind?

what does your day-to-day schedule/routine look like? do you have enough time during your days to focus on school while still being able to balance your work/personal life?

what does your work load look like? do assignments & exams pile up too quickly for you? are you maybe unintentionally procrastinating? maybe there are things outside of school that have been piling up?

it’s good to answer these questions for yourself and figure out what exactly is causing you to fall behind. what’s going on at the core of it all? once you find your answer(s), it’s time to start reworking and tweaking some things.

୨ৎ — health check-up

sometimes our health can hinder us from staying on track, keeping up with school, and even keeping up with things going on outside of school! maybe we’ve been getting sick more recently and our bodies have been putting more energy into fighting off infections that they’ve become weaker and lack the energy to do other things. or maybe our mental health isn’t where we need it to be. maybe we’re experiencing a depressive episode or there have been things going on in your personal life that have been causing you immense amounts of anxiety that’s leading your focus away from your studies.

physical health

schedule a doctor’s appointment! you could probably get yourself a note to bring to your school/professors that could allow you a grace period for you to get caught up with your studies! it’s also good to have regular doctors visits to make sure your physical health is where it needs to be.

fuel for your body! are you eating well enough? are you staying hydrated? make sure your body has all the nutrients it needs to stay energized! sometimes we don’t realize we’re neglecting our nutritional needs, so be sure to have any and all necessary meals and that you’re getting enough hydration!

recharging every night! are you getting enough sleep? is the sleep you’re getting good? do you feel well-rested when you wake up? be mindful of your body’s energy! sleep is extremely important and lack of sleep can cause lack of motivation for just about anything, so be sure you’re getting a good night’s rest every night.

mental health

self care! i can’t stress enough how important self care is in your daily routine. please always take care of yourself. do something that makes you happy and make sure you’re giving your mind what it needs.

counseling! lots of schools, if not all schools have counselors on their campus. if therapy isn’t a financial option for you right now, please don’t hesitate to seek out your school’s counselor. they’re there to help you through whatever it is you may need! (& it’s quite literally they’re job!)

୨ৎ — rescheduling your schedule

think about your current daily routine. there might be some things within your routine that just might not be working out for you. you might have too many extracurriculars, maybe your work hours are overloaded and take too much of your time, or maybe you’re not setting aside enough time in your day to work on schoolwork.

lessen your load

while having extracurriculars is wonderful for your academic career, sometimes you can have too many of them. keeping up with club meetings, late night/early morning athletics trainings, events that take place during your class times; there’s a lot of things that extracurriculars do that may be taking a lot of your time away from you and your studies.

keep your extracurriculars to a minimum: 1-2 max! you have so much time to build up on extracurriculars for university admissions and job applications, i promise! but you have to consider your current schoolwork load and make sure you’re able to balance both extracurriculars and your studies!

if you are trying to balance your school & work life, be sure you remember what takes priority: your studies! if you feel like your work schedule is overpowering your time to study, it may be time to lessen your work hours.

talk with your bosses! set up a meeting with your mangers or send them an email letting them know you need to start working less. let them know that your studies take priority right now and you need the time to focus on school.

part-time over full-time! being a full-time student and a full-time employee can lead to burn out. while it is possible to balance both, it’s definitely 100x harder. it’s okay to work part-time! and just remember: your studies will lead you to a better job!

weekly planning

you might want to start creating a general plan for your week! it doesn’t have to be super detailed, but have at least an overview of what your week will look like!

create small task lists! have certain days contain a small, achievable list of tasks to complete! again, detail doesn’t matter, you don’t have to write down specific assignments but you can write which classes you want to work on for those days!

for each day, have an hourly schedule! maybe from 5am-6am to you want to be up & out of bed and by 12pm-2pm you want to get some schoolwork done! don’t feel the need to create something extravagant and go by each hour, keep it as general as possible.

the key is to keep your weekly (or even daily) planning simple! don’t try to jump right into having detailed schedules and plans, that can cause more stress than help.

designated study days

to go off of weekly planning, try setting aside specific days during your week that are entirely dedicated to getting schoolwork & studying done!

my personal schoolwork/study days…

saturday/sunday (i try to dedicate at least one of those days to rest, relaxation, & more personal things! so maybe one week saturday will be my work day and sunday will be my rest day)

monday - wendesday (mondays & wednesdays are the days i have class, but i’m off from work mon-wed so i have so much more time on mondays & wednesdays to get some work or studying done!)

of course, you can start off small! i actually encourage you to start off small! maybe two days out of the week will be your designated days or maybe you’ll only have one day out of the week! and that’s okay!

୨ৎ — baby steps lead to giant leaps

from my previous points, i really emphasized simplicity & starting off small. here’s why: slowly chipping away at something will still show great amounts of progress!

don’t feel like you have to take on huge amounts of work to get back into the swing of things. if anything, biting off more than you can chew will cause you to choke on even more stress!

step 1: talk with advisors/counselors/teachers

the first step to officially getting back on track in school is meeting with your advisors, teachers, and pretty much any faculty members that will help you! (and i promise they will help you! it’s their job to make sure you succeed as a student and they’ll always encourage you to reach out for help!)

step 2: meet with tutors

there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a tutor! they do more than just help with understanding class content! they also help you with time management, organization, and study techniques/methods! plus, 9 times out of 10, those tutors are fellow students, so they know and understand better than anyone else what it’s like dealing with the stress of school as a student!

step 3: riding the completion coaster

this is the part where you can start completing assignments/tasks that need to get done! again, don’t overload yourself! start small! this is where slowly chipping away at your assignments comes in!

prioritize! which classes take priority? which assignments have the closest due dates? what exams are coming up the soonest? whatever needs to get done first is your first priority!

pomodoro method! i’ve talked about this productivity-time technique a plethora of times here on my blog, but it’s a wonderful work method that not only encourages you to get work done within a set amount of time but it also allows you to get very much needed breaks in as well!

tina’s productivity tip: there’s this little method i’ve created for myself where i write down on a little sticky note or separate piece of paper “prizes” that i get for when i complete an assignment or task called “recognize the prize”! the prizes are super simple things that still make me really happy (incorporating psychology techniques here lol)! i keep that little sticky note/paper with my prizes close by so i can remind myself what i’m working towards!

examples of how i do it…

assignment: lab workbook ch. 4, pages x & y

prize: take a break to eat a kitkat bar (i love kitkats hehe)

task: study for 1 hour

prize: watch one youtube video (no longer than 20 minutes)

assignment: online homework

prize: play a video game for 20 minutes

final notes —

falling behind sucks, but it happens and i hope you know that it’s completely normal! just remember: being behind & needing to catch up does not, and never will, define you as a failure. we aren’t made to be perfect students; there’s no such thing as a “perfect” student. strive for progress, not perfection!

you have the ability to get caught up with your studies! please don’t best yourself up for not being where you want to be right now. show yourself some grace because you’re only human at the end of the day.

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[supervisormeero]

I'm currently participating in the "Write Frictious, You Idiot, You Have One Chapter Left" challenge. I am the only participant, and yet I am somehow still losing

[musashi]

i JUST realized this might be related to one of my other friends in the mvk fandom suddenly hardblocking me so uh

hey y'all! if you frequent the mvk tag, there is a regular blogger there who i will not name, but who has some sort of pathological attachment/obsession with me. they and i were tumblr mutuals but we were not close. we DM'd twice and had scattered interactions here and there.

they are accusing me of:

being abusive toward them

being otherwise cruel to them

being ableist against disabled folks who are high-support???

sending suibait/having my friends send suibait

probably other things.

EDIT: someone's informed me they're accusing me of posting private stuff from their vent account? the only account i know of theirs is the one we were mutuals on

i can't stress enough that none of this is true. there is no proof of it and if you press this person they will have none. all that happened was some time about a year ago when we were mutuals, i feared they might be vagueblogging about me when i was having depressive episodes and i sent them this message about it:

i was being honest here, but they then turned around and said i was spot on--they were vagueblogging about how badly they wanted me to shut the fuck up, stop whining, etc (paraphrasing, but that was the vibe exactly) every time i needed social support. they have since deleted their message admitting to this. i am so sorry i cannot prove it.

since then multiple mutual friends of ours have unfollowed them because they squat on ym blog and, again, pathologically blog about me. they revel and make posts about "justice" and "karma" whenever i am upset on here. they scream and yell and cry whenever i am happy. they have admitted to wanting to convince their mutuals to abandon me:

again, i can't prove this is about me but i have a lot of testimonials from people who noticed this being in both our circles and can vouch for it. initially i was just going to roll my eyes and move on but i think they might be telling other people i'm some horrible fucking abuser who mistreated them when i wasn't even close enough to them to do so.

anyways, sorry to everyone who tracks the tag! i don't know how to prove that i didn't hurt this person. but... like... if they approach you, please do your best to use best judgement and consider the facts in front of you.

again, i will not be naming them. this is not a callout post. this is a preventative measure, because i am a traumatized wreck and i really cannot deal with things of this nature.

[ev]

i am painfully self aware of how unbearable i am like fuck sorry guys i promise im trying so hard to be palatable!!!

[good-beans]

Me: *lists all the things I'm going to do today* :)

Me: *doesn't do them*

[wreckitwrites]

[vilevexedvixen]

"One sided beef"

@sunshinecatie I tried explaining myself, you went "I'm sorry you're hurt" rather than actually apologising.

You willfully misrepresented my opinion that Ed wouldn't kill Jon over him and Susan consensually banging based on canon dialogue rather than buried fics and roped Dee into it instead of just agreeing to disagree until pushed to do so.

I reached out to understand what went wrong. Twice. The second time when I realised your reasons still did not make sense. You WERE upset, why? Wording. What wording? I did not put "I think" at the start or otherwise phrase my opinion as an AU, OC or headcanon.

You doubled down and kept making it about wording when I, like Lunar, say what I mean and the aggression you took from it (on the discord) was projection on your part. However, this post is what it looks like when I am actually angry at you.

Which became a snowball self-fullfilling prophecy because you kept claiming I was angry in the original interaction when I wasn't (which in itself was aggrevating). Eventually making me genuinely angry.

At this point, I:

a. Neither expect nor deserve forgiveness from you or anyone you consider a friend

b. Do not trust the discord to be a safe space for anyone except those you already consider a friend, which is why I left. Because it quickly turned out to not be a fun Rogues fandom chat, and instead Catie's Corner.

c. Do not trust the sincerity of anything you say, given how thoroughly you have repeatedly warped my very straightforward frustrations with your inability to live and let live different interpretatons of canon text (you were only ok with the idea of Ed's actions being confined to an AU, OC or headcanon; when discussion of canon text is very standard procedure in fandom and the act of doing so in itself is not reason for upset, but it proved to be for you, which is why I started to consider you a more controlling person - which likely does not reflect yourself generally).

If you were actually going to reach out to rekindle a nonexistent friendship, you would have. Don't pretend you actually give a shit when you have done nothing but deny, deflect and distance. That is an especially shallow attempt to gage sympathy instead of actually doing better. You don't care about "fixing things", all you care about is making this (me) go away so you don't have to deal with it.

I also do not expect you to agree with my perspective on things, given how prone you have proven to be to misinterpreting people.

So let me be clear.

I was not angry in the discord when all this started.

I am now very angry for how you refused to see that I was not originally angry and instead focussed entirely on how you disliked how you felt I was saying you were "wrong".

You are not "wrong".

I did not say you were "wrong".

My phrasing, to anyone but you, clearly did not even imply you were wrong. It was a disagreement / counterpoint sure, but nothing argumentative or insulting.

Let me repeat.

Me disaggreeing with you does not mean you are wrong!

Also! If people besides me DO for whatever reason think you are wrong, then THAT IS OK!

Disagreement is not invalidation.

Your focus on thinking I needed validation was honestly a bit perplexing.

I was baffled you freaked out over me thinking Ed wouldn't do X. Because whatever I think about Ed doesn't mean you need to think the same thing. I gave my reason for why I thought what I thought. That wasn't an argument. That was just making sure you understood why I thought that about Ed, even if you don't agree.

I vented my anger on my personal account because I did not want to bother people but still wanted to get out how I felt. I have virtually no following, so considered it basically posting into the void the same as any other rant post. I thought the block would keep the post local to my blog. Trying to rebuild this bridge while I still had this box of matches in my pocket would not end well. I would be holding in everything I grew to hate about you through gritted teeth. I do not think like you do, I need actual closure to move on and that is not possible here.

I was frustrated that at every point I attempted to talk to you, you never listened and we just came out further misunderstanding each other.

==>You are not at fault. <==

Silence doesn't feel like mending, or peace, just an indefinite continuation of whatever note was left on.

I also am not vague posting. I am very specifically posting about my exact feelings about fandom discourse and the ways I disagree with your attitude towards it. My non-fandom rants are not about you, your actions have however triggered (inappropriately, I must add) those non-fandom (trauma / mental health) rants.

No it is not your fault. No this is not an attempt at pity farming. It just happens sometimes. Sometimes things people do remind me of past abusers (and yes, your misunderstandings, mannerisms and thought patterns (in terms of what you share online) very closely resemble a narcissistic abuser of mine I have since cut ties with. Does that mean you are narcissistic or abusive? No. The similarities are likely entirely superficial, but it does explain (though not excuse) the misfire), and that exacerbates whatever more mild feelings were initially experienced into a full-blown episode. Again, no that is not your fault, it is just a thing that happens that I am working on and has genuinely improved from the shit show it was before starting medication.

I love the Rogues Podcast. I'm glad you enjoy it as much as I do. I have since 2015, I think. Long before I started social media or any community interaction. I have come to not love the community, which IS yours more than it is Dee's and Codot's, especially these days.

Asking questions is not the issue, it's how you lord yourself over others for being someone asking Dee and Codot questions that is the issue. Again, you are not listening.

For the sake of levity, and because it is how I feel:

One measly interview does not grant you the authority you seem to think you have. You can reframe my anger however you wish, but that does not change the fact that at no point have you actually listened to a single thing I have been trying to tell you that others have perfectly understood without issue, making it clear it isn't my wording.

This is actually why I partially blamed your behaviour on you being American. Silly, I know. But in all the communities (with a mix of fans from across the globe) I have enjoyed interacting with, it has always been American fans that start shit and blame it on me / something innocuous I said. Always.

Granted, that was only one or two other times (once with a Legend of Korra fan and another with a far right Fallout fan) so my sample size is small but still.

Autistic people aren't all the same. It stands to reason that speech and mannerisms will generally differ across countries. What wording you need to feel unbothered is VERY specifically with added reassurance. In the discord I felt like I needed to follow up everything with something to go "You're valid (Catie)!" to keep you placated. It's not like I waltzed in there are picked the fights that ended up happening. I waltzed in their and started talking about Rogues and other stuff I like.

This is a side-tangent, but my feelings towards the ways we miscommunicated with each other are much like my mum's feelings towards most software she uses for work demanding the use of American spellings and American grammar even when set to "British English", which is clearly a completely superficial setting that doesn't actually adhere to British grammar and spelling.

So I lashed out in frustration. And rather than confront me yourself, you called upon Codot and the discord to do it for you, or at the very least so they would hear your version of the story first so they come into this with your story already in mind. Telling people you treat like goons to tell me to back off doesn't work. It just validates my unflattering view of you. Sorry.

I have tried to be as clear as possible in this post.

If it upsets you, fine.

The only thing I ask is that you please do not feel threatened or upset when people besides me discuss Rogues!Ed (and the Rogues podcast as a whole on a deeper level than just "Wow! I LOVE that character!", "That line was SO funny!", etc.). Not as an AU, OC or headcanon, but just how they see them in text. Otherwise this will happen all over again, just with someone else. And it will be your fault.

[l3viat8an]

Little friendly reminder to be nice to me in my ask box :) if I haven’t gotten to your ask yet, it’s just because I’ve been busy or I don’t have an idea for it yet- I’ll get to it! Just don’t be rude if it takes me awhile-

[darehearts]

remember that major clean up i was gonna do after new years  ?  i just did it now instead and oof  !  🥴

[streetslost]

with any oc. if you're not going to give them the effort of reading all their headcanons and backstory or the like. the least you can do is read their basic stats. i don't mind helping people with cat's long ass backstory and intricate details.

but when people have no idea her basic stats then it just feels demeaning tbh.

[bunnyboy-juice]

mkay its been a few days and i dont have the most perfect words to express this but uh. please remember just bc i reblog certain kinks on this blog and am publicly horny in general doesn't mean that you can try to engage in that kink with me without asking first, especially if we are not mutuals.

[queer-reader-07]

.

[subsequentibis]

'nother big post of closed species guys i've designed since folks were nice abt the last one :)

mignyans (alien parasite crabs that infect a host and cause the thing-esque meat to manifest on their bodies):

^ free anniversary event design! they do a scavenger hunt every october for traits and it's always a good time

^design i did as a guest artist for the species! using the new mineral deposit trait that was added after the last anniversary event

^ this is one of my favorites i've ever done. i love you channel wvmb you will always be famous to me.

^ this one and the next one were designed based on premade crabs! this one's the same species as the first mignyan i ever designed

^ this one goes with the sun & moon one :) wizard & apprentice

^metalhead!! bloody remnants logo designed by my wonderful fiance

starlyngs (avian creatures that are personified stars i think? i'll be honest i'm less clear on the lore i just think they're neat):

^ shithead extraordinaire who is in trouble all the time for stealing & conning people out of valuables

^ freak.

[furrysmp]

congrats to everyone that is still following me after I saw I had way too many followers to not have at least one antisemitic person following me, the fact that you don't think I murder children for fun is truly a comfort

[anotherpapercut]

I love when I'm talking to someone and someone else who I don't know like that butts in to ask a really personal question that informs the conversation they are not a part of