#i just have to collect dreams about the other two lis now

[where-the-wind-travels]

dreamed about lia last night (and actually as mia. not like my previous dream about abel where i was just myself 😭) what a wonderful way to start pride month

[reverieblondie]

Finding the Tiefling Bachelors Smut

A/N: I really hope everyone enjoys these hcs. Now these are just my ideas if you have ideas or things you feel like should be added please share! I would love to hear what you think! Huge shout out to @f4iryt3a for letting me use their Cal screenshot! I really appreciate it!

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader

Rolan: Scholarly romantic, who endeavors to seek experience outside his books

Now I love the idea of Rolan accidentally finding smut/erotica. That dork would get embarrassed so quickly, but I know he would be intrigued as the new master of Razamaths tower. Rolan, of course, has made it his mission to quickly understand all the tomes and books found in its grand libraries. Through his cataloging, he discovered that not all the books are necessarily history books or grimoires, but there is a collection of books that are stories. Needing to flip through for a rough summary of the story quickly, it's when he scans the pages and pauses…

Ardent eyes trail over her shivering skin. His lips come over to caress her body, his hands sliding up her belly towards her breast. Rough fingers pinch and twist at her sensitive buds, making her tremble with a breathy moan. All while his lips trail down lower and lower…biting softly, licking down her mound. Her skin is like silk against his fevered tongue, and no doubt the lower he wonders, the sweeter the taste… 

"And to think you thought me intolerable…now look at you, love. Panting like a bitch for my tongue…" 

Rolan slams the book closed, his face burning a bright crimson hue. Now, Rolan isn't dumb; he knows what smut is, but he's never actually read it before…And now, as he keeps looking through the books near this one…it seems Rolan has acquired a bit of a collection. He keeps the collection of his newly acquired smut in a locked drawer on his desk.  

Now, on late nights, while he's been in his office for hours, his back is tense, and his neck and shoulders are filled with knots. He needs to let out all this unreleased tension, so his hand wanders down to that locked drawer to finish reading that last chapter… 

The book has been discarded but not forgotten as it lies on the desk. Rolan's breath is labored as he is hunched over his desk, feverishly fisting his cock, whimpering, and throwing his head back as he lets the images flash in his mind. Doe's eyes stare up at him, his hand with a tight fist of their hair…their tongue rolling and lapping at his ridges, tail rubbing their wet sex as he approaches his high. Fuck How he wished it wasn't his hand but their mouth eagerly sucking him, desperate to take all of him. Rolan's thoughts spur him on more, your nails digging into his tights, your throat so fucking tight, just like he is sure your pussy is. And where would you want in? Your gorgeous face? Your breasts? Or would you swallow?

Rolan's hips buckle faster, his loose hair sticking to the sheen of sweat on his neck as he lets out a groan. He would give you all of it; he would make sure to show you everything he could do, how he would study your body just to get you to cum. How he would remember every moan, every tremble, and the way you feel wrapped around so tightly, your sweet voice trembling all those words he dreams you would say.  That's when he feels that wave rushes over him, his legs tremble, and a whimper "ah, a-h!" leaves his lips. Rolan has to brace his hand on the desk as he cums in fast spurts in his hand. Catching his breath, he looks at his mess… "Zurgan…" 

You and Rolan are friends, but you two still manage to argue most days, and you wouldn't like it any other way. Something about that grumpy attitude just makes your head spin. You want to get under more than just his skin; getting under him would be ideal. It's good that you're patient because you're just waiting for the snap where this teasing finally pays off, and he becomes yours. 

You find yourself waiting for Rolan to ask about some magical artifact you found. Honestly, you could care less; you just want an excuse to talk to him and tease him. Unfortunately, you must wait for him…might as well snoop a little. And what do you find in your snooping? A locked desk drawer, intriguing…with a trick you picked up astarion you get it opened to see books? 

Oh….smut books…with a clear theme, enemies to lovers; it looks like Rolan likes to argue as much as you do…you can work with this. 

Rolan walks through the door, "Okay, what do you have for me?" His voice catches as soon as he sees you sitting on his desk (something he says he hates), watching you read through his smut. 

You flick your eyes up to him, "Rolan… I never took you as a smut reader; I would think the Great Master would be too busy…" Rolan approaches you quickly and tries to snatch the book from you, but you hold it behind yourself, not making it easy for him. 

"Hasn't anyone ever taught you about privacy!" He stands right in front of you now, his flushed cheeks on full display for you. "Why are you embarrassed?" you taunt; Rolan sighs irritatedly as he struggles for the book. His body leaning in so close, his chest brushing against yours, his hips between your spread legs, his face getting so close to yours. Rolans is so desperate to get the book he doesn't realize how close he is. 

"Someone needs to teach you proper decorum!" his voice grumbles. "Is that an offer…" Rolan pauses as he hears you whisper in his ear; he turns to face you, his face already so close your noises brush together. Rolan swallows as his eyes flick from your lips to your eyes. " You're teasing me," he says lowly, dropping the book behind you; you wrap your arms around his neck. "Not unless you want me to." 

Rolan lets out a shaky breath before he places his hands on your hips, guiding you to wrap your legs around him. "Must you always have a comeback every time?" 

"What? I thought you liked my smart mouth. Perfect for arguing." Rolan gently lays your body down against his desk, his body over you, making your breath quicken, and your arousal ruins your panties with want. "How about I put that mouth to better use?" 

You two don't miss a moment to start stripping on one another. "What use? Oh, great master Rolan?" Rolan smiles and leans his now bare chest down, his lips pressing hungrily against yours. Before you can slip in your tongue, he pulls back, relishing in the whine you give from missing his lips. "Like making you moan my name." -Damn that cockiness… 

The next few moments are a blur of sloppy kisses, sharp bites to your neck, and the feeling of his hot tongue tracing over your nipples, making your thighs clamp tighter around his waist in a whine. Rolan eggs you on to say his name as his textured cock runs slowly up and down your wet sex. His body shudders with a groan from the feeling of your slick all for him. 

Rolan slides into you, whimpering along with you as you finally moan his name, "Rolan~" you can't help but arch yourself as he pumps into you deeper and deeper with every thrust. The more he rocks in you, the rougher he gets, as his nails dig into your ass, lifting your lower body off the bed as you keep clamping down on him from the praise he rewards you.

His cock hitting your G Stop, you feel yourself squeezing down on him as his hazy eyes look down at you with a lazy smirk; he's read enough to know what's happening to you, "Oh? About to cum? Come on… Don't hold back, cum for me."

It hits you like a wave making your whole body tremble as your orgasm on his cock, with a scream of his name. Rolan is quick to silence you with a moan of his own as he leaves a rough kiss on your lips. 

Zevlor: An Experienced Romantic

Okay, but can we all imagine Zevlor's shirtless body littered with scars and a nice set of reading glasses low on his nose as he reads some smut/erotica. (Ugh, the dream!) Zevlor, our oldest of the bachelors, has seen his fair share of smut; back in the day, it wasn't odd for some of the guys to hide erotica under their bunks. Though their books were quite different from Zev's. Sadly, those books have been lost to time and the descent. Maybe it was curiosity or the fact that a certain someone has been making his heart race every time they say his name. Now, here he is in the romance section of the library, trying to find one of those old books he used to own. Unfortunately, he only sees books he's not familiar with, so on a whim, he opens a random book…  

If someone walked by, it would tarnish her reputation. A high blood in the gardens this late with a man will surely cause gossip. Especially with her legs spread so wide and her guard positioning his cock so deep in her. Her soft voice moaning so heavenly, only causes his cock to throb more. He's meant to be guarding her…If anyone finds out… She's too important, too perfect to be with a man like him…

"I love you." Her voice, like sweet honey, draws him to hold her tighter, to rut in deeper. He drags his lips across her slick skin, tongue lightly licking the sweat from her neck. Finally, he reaches her ear, "Darling flower…I love you more than you can possibly know…" She clenches and flutters with a whimper, and his hips start to move faster…

Zevlor ended up checking out that book, along with three others the lady behind the counter recommended for him. It turns out they had similar tastes…He made sure to rush home so nobody saw what he had, and Zevlor made sure to put the books in a safe place…in his dresser drawer. 

It's another one of those sleepless nights. His eyes just won't seem to close, and his body won't relax. Maybe he should read a few chapters in his new book…just until his eyes get heavy…

Zevlor can't help but grunt as he feels his balls twitch, begging himself to stroke his girth faster, but Zevlor is patient… he knows what his body can take, so he continues his slow build. Zevlor spits on his other hand to lube his cock, making it slip faster within his hand. His grunts get louder as his hand moves faster, building up to his release. Zevlor shuts his eyes, focusing on the approaching wave of pleasure, his thoughts immediately going to you. Your body is bouncing beautifully as you ride the old hellrider. Gods, he wants to talk you through it and be your guide to your sweet pleasure before he fills you up. How he would dig his hands into the soft plush of your hips to help roll you deeper, cooing softly to you as you begin to babble, your pleasure starting to build to its peak. Gods, how he wants to hear your voice trembling his name… Zevlors hips start to roll at the thought of your snug cunt and your sweet voice chanting how it's too much and how you're coming to cum. The thought of your cum coating him is enough for his cock to throb as he lets his cum shoot against his abdomen. Zevlor sighs coming back down from his high. As he cleans himself up, he wonders, would you clean him up? Perhaps with your tongue? Zevlor shakes his head and chastises himself for the lewd thought. 

You and Zevlor developed a strong bond after everything; you two were supported by each other through getting past everything. Even though Zevlor decided to retire to a small farm on the city's outskirts, you two kept in touch through letters and visits. Part of you wishes that Zevlor would one day invite you to stay at his farm with him permanently…though you are unsure if that is just a silly dream of a lovesick girl… 

During one of your impromptu visits to Zevlors farm, you were helping him wrangle the goats, it turns out Philp the Ram is not a fan of yours… So that is how you found yourself crashed into the water trough after running from a grumpy goat. Zevlor was a slew of apologies as he helped you from the water and told you that you could borrow some clothes from him while yours dries. So, while you were looking for a shirt in his drawers, you found a book? Maybe a peek wouldn't hurt…

Turns out that Zevlor is quite the romantic…maybe it's time you confess…but you need to have a plan…

Zevlor was done setting up the tea, but you still hadn't emerged from his bedroom. Perhaps nothing fits you, right? Or maybe you are embarrassed? Zevlor sits pondering for a few minutes before he decides to walk to the room and check on you. You hear his heavy footsteps before you hear his Knock. "Tav? Are you alright?” With a deep breath, you tell yourself it's now or never. "Zev? I'm fine, but could you ... come in, please?"

Zevlor, never one to deny a request from you, opens the door; when he sees you, he thinks his heart stops at the sight of your bare thighs sitting on his bed in his favorite mauve shirt. Then he sees the book on his dresser, and his face turns an impossibly deeper shade of red. Great, you think he's an old pervert. Zevlor is about to explain when you cut him off, patting the spot beside you on the bed. He watches your face blush, "sit with me?" Zevlor sits beside you. The tension is thick in the air as both your minds reel, Zevlor panicking that you think he's a gross pervert, while you are working the courage to make your next move ... something romantic to impress him.

"About the book I-" It was so quick .... but you forget Zevlor was a paladin, a well-trained one at that. So when you turned to kiss his full lips, Zevlor caught your face between his hands. His eyes widen in surprise as he looks at your squished cheeks and puckered lips. Your face reddened, "I'm sorry, I was trying to be romantic... I should have asked to kiss you.” You manage to tremble out through your squeezed lips ...His eyebrows furrow and a slight laugh leaves him “you... Want to kiss me?” He lets go of your head, and it's your turn to laugh. “That and more... if you're willing?" 

Zevlar was definitely willing, willing to run his hands over your soft body, while you do the same to his hardened one, tracing his scars with tender kisses as you sang sweet praises into his crimson skin. His Kisses were so soft as your lips pressed together, slowly building up your hunger for more.

It could have been minutes, hours, hells, even days as you two explored each other's bodies. "Slow ... ride it slow ..." his deep voice whispers in your ear as you slowly roll your hips ."Beautiful ... look at you ...” His lips return to kissing a bruise to your neck as you look into the mirror. Your legs spread wide over his thighs, one of his hands on your hip as the other is wrapped around your waist, holding your front as steady as possible as he thrust So slowly into your drooling cunt. You can see your arousal dripping down his ridged cock as he moves it through your snug cunt, stretched so taut for him. Your hands are holding onto Zevlor for dear life as he molds your insides to his shape.

Zevlors pace steadily builds as your insides start to clench on him tighter, and your cooing gets higher pitched. He smiles and meets your eyes in the reflection as he slips his hot fingers to your twitching clit, rolling over it in quick circles So desperate to watch his lovely Tav squirt all over his girth again.

What could be more romantic than watching the one you care for come undone on you?

Dammon: A lover of erotica through and through

It is canon that Dammon likes smut, which inspired this whole thing. Damon isn't one to shout out from the rooftops what he enjoys reading, but he isn't shy about it, either. He enjoys reading smut/erotica, and he isn't going to be embarrassed about that. He finds that his favorite works are Bondage and Corruption Kink-based. Sure, the stories are undeniably hot, but the trust, the communication shared between two people engaging in that level of intimacy he's utterly addicted to…and his library will only grow. Still, he always returns to his rarer favorites…

His hand is cold compared to the burning flesh of her ass. She leans into the touch, losing her grip, but that only earns her a swat that furthers the rosy flesh to a fiery blush…" keep holding your ankles.." his voice is stern, and she wishes he would talk to her for hours like this, She grabs her ankles tighter mumbling a soft apology. He smiles and kisses down her spine in approval, "Good girl. Now, what's your safe word?" She feels his hand sliding across her ass, the tightening in her gut coiling further. "L-lavender…" she can't help but tremble, feeling his hand spread her blushing cheeks. "When do we say that word?" she's fully spread to him now, feeling dizzy in anticipation. "If-if I'm feeling overwhelmed, hurt, or just ready to stop." 

He muses at her, bent over, ready for him; he runs his oiled fingers over the metal plug keeping his eyes on her tight entrance…he feels his cock throb from the rush, she wants to slam himself into her ass, but he calms himself with a breath. "Very good, now I'm going to put the plug in, remember to breathe and that it will be cold…"

Dammon only occasionally has guests in his small house, so he has never felt the need to hide his books. So what does he do? He proudly displays them on his bookshelf, rotating out his favorites for a nice reread on his nightstand. 

No matter how many times he might read this book, it always excites him. After a long day of pounding away at scorching hot metal it can get a person tightly wound up…and what's better than an excellent book to help wind you down after a long day…

Turns out that winding down is not what his body had in mind for him tonight. It started off as it usually does, his hand lazily stroking his cock, while he read from his book, but as he kept reading, he couldn't help but think about when he saw you last, bright smile, tight trousers, and your shirt barely containing your breast. You always looked like a vision, and he wouldn't mind getting his mouth on if you only asked. Dammons thoughts go to you bent over his anvil as he pounds into your warm heat, his hands keeping your wrist behind your back as you moan for more to show you all he knows. Dammons bites his lip at the thought, continuing to ram his cock into the crease of his pillow folded between his legs. His hand is not enough, and neither is the pillow, but if he thrusts fast enough, he can almost trick himself. It's your plush thighs he's ramming against. Dammon lets out deep moans as he gets closer, his cock weeping at the tip as he thinks of how deep he could go… how he could explore all of you for him to devour. Gods, to feel you cum all over him, to demand more from you till your body shakes from overstimulation. The pleasure he knows his rigid cock could give you. The surge of his orgasm washes over him as his cum shoots into his pillow with a low groan at the instant relief. Dammon throws his pillow off the bed as he catches his breath, so much for relaxing…

After the end of everything, it only makes sense that you would keep in touch with Dammon; every good hero needs a good blacksmith, and Dammon is yours. He was always so reliable and fun to talk to. It only makes sense that you were running his way whenever your sword or armor was nicked. You two slowly boned and found yourself spending hours just sitting and talking to him, telling him your adventures while Dammon just smiled and worked. Watching Dammon work was also an enjoyable experience; he was always so passionate about what he did… you wonder if he's as passionate in other ways

Dammon had told you to come by his place to pick up your weapons, which he was repairing. Having to do some last-minute things, he had set tea out for you and had you wait in his quaint little home. You waited and waited, but he was just taking so long, so you decided to walk around. While you were walking around, you saw Dammon's bookshelf and looked to see if you two shared the same taste in books…

As soon as you picked up one of the books and started to read it, you just couldn't stop. You didn't know if it was shocking, curiosity, or interest ... but what you were reading was so intense, and you just couldn't help how your thighs were pressing together to help ease your growing arousal. "Enjoying the book ?" his voice chimed, making you jump. Slamming the book closed and trying to stumble out an apology, Dammon just looks at your increasingly flushing face, and his smile grows.

Finally, Dammon gently places his hand on your lips, his face completely unfazed as his calm voice asks, "Want me to show you my favorite parts? "- How could you refuse?

What turned into him reading them to you led to you reading it yourself as Dammon ideally played with your hair as he watched you; he Turned to you, finally sharing in a passionate kiss, to where you are now ...

Both of you stripped down to your underwear, straddling Dammons thigh as he leaves slow, sloppy kisses on the column of your neck, "We will start slow...to show you …"

Your hands are holding on tightly to his broad shoulders as his hands slide down your waist to squeeze your hips. His bright eyes take in your blush as he asks if you're okay if you're ready. With a shy yes, you two start as he starts to guide your hips to grind on his thigh; the feeling of your clit rubbing against him makes warm pleasure rush down your spine to spread through you. Dammon just watches your beautiful face contort to the pleasure, listening to your soft moans and trembling Whines, his cock growing stiff as the arousal drips from your panties to leak on his thighs. God, he wants to trace it with his fingertips and have you taste yourself, but he contains himself, telling himself to go slow with you. Dammon moves his hands up to your breast, groping you softly as you continue your soft grind.

You keep rocking back and forth, feeling the tightness in your stomach as you gradually build your pace. From how wet you feel. Dammon knows you are so close to that high, so he decides to help you more. His left hand lowers your bra as his lips kiss your perked nipples before his tongue carefully traces the sensitive skin, making you moan so softly. Then With his right hand, he slips two fingers through your soaked panties to play with your swollen little clit. The feeling of his rough fingertips toying and then pinching softly is enough for that coil to break within you as you squirt on his lap.

"I'm so sorry …" You say in a gasp, but Dammon only shushes you as he holds you to his chest, his expert fingers guiding you through your orgasm. "You have nothing to apologize for ... that's so beautiful, which makes me want you to do it again ... "You whine and bury your face in his neck from his sultry words. Damon can't wait to teach you more things.

Cal: Innocent but wants to learn

There is not enough smut about Cal, which is a shame; he is a cutie and deserves to be included in the Tiefling Bachelor lineup. Cal always thought that there was only one way to get sexual stimulation from a book and those erotic art books people hid in their homes. He had heard of the desire to seek them out. Well, now Cal's grown up, he has needs. It's while Cal is trying to discreetly find one of these books when he comes across smut. Curious why a book like this would be in this section. That is when he figures it out… 

He couldn't help how her strong body roused him. It was an accident coming across her during her bath, but even the warrior jumped to action and could pin him down beneath her foot. He just stared at her bare body, shining in the moonlight as the water dripped down her skin. He swallowed his suddenly dry throat as the need to lick up every drip off her body to quench his thirst, but only if she wished it. How he would be a dog for her… "Why are you spying on me during my bath? Are you an assassin or just a pervert?" His rehearsed lines over why he joined her on her journey evaporate from his mind.

"My lady…lady, I wish to serve your every whim…I wish to be your hand…it would be an honor to travel with a noble hero like yourself…" Her eyes narrow before she swiftly drops down to his prone form…Gods, please don't sit on him and reveal to her his aching erection… "careful with your wording… you could easily end up as a squire… or my chew toy.." he tries to steady his breath… "whatever my knight wishes…" she smiles…this should be an interesting addition to her travels… 

Of course, Cal quickly bought the book and immediately packed it for home as soon as he left the store. As soon as he got to his room after sneaking past his siblings, he needed to find a place to hide it. The last thing he needed was for someone to see that he had this book. So, after a quick scan of his room, he shoved the book underneath his mattress. Nobody will find it there, right?  

Cal was completely immersed in the story; any time he had time off, she was sneaking off to his room to read another chapter or two. Then, late one night, he found that the plot was thickening, and it was starting to stir something within him. Cal springs from his bed and quickly decides to take a cool bath; that should help cool him right…

The bath did little to ease him; all while he was in the bath, his thoughts kept wandering to his book… and you. Now here he is, his fevered skin feeling the sharp bliss of the bathroom's tiled wall against his back, groaning lowly as he fucks his fist. Cal knew it was wrong to think of you this way, your beautiful legs spread open… your hand teasing yourself as your sweet arousal drips more and more. Cal knew he shouldn't be doing this, but that didn't stop him from shutting his eyes tighter, buckling his hips more desperately as he chased his high. All those previous feelings of shame melt away as your sweet voice calls his name, your eyes lidded, telling him to "Watch me, Cal…taste me…" Fuck, his breath picks up as dose his pace mumbling to himself how much he wants you… what he would fo got "Ah, just to taste you… to have you cum on my tongue…" Cal stroked faster, whimpering and moans growing louder at the thought of you pushing him down and sinking your soft cunt onto his cock. The way you would ride him as you screamed for him was the final straw that had his cock spasming, "Fuck, fuck, Fuck!" Cal couldn't help but chant like a prayer as he made a mess over his clean body. Cal looked down at his ruined body, "Dammit… I need to rinse off again…" 

Cal was always a pleasant person to be associated with; your friendship started when he thanked you for helping end a squabble between his siblings. After that, you two kept running into each other. First, he sought you out for combat advice, which made you two have friendly chats. You two both find each other to open up about your troubles with one other. Cal says he admires you and all the incredible heroic acts you have done, but you admire Cal and his cheerful, never-giving-up attitude. The world always seemed just that bit warmer when Cal is near…  

When you saw that Rolan and Lia were out at the tavern without Cal, you were instantly worried about him. They had told you he was not feeling good, apparently, and that immediately made you need to go see him. So, with a key from Rolan, you made your way to the tower to check in on Cal. When you reach outside his door, you hear a sound that makes you worried…   

The air in your lungs ripped from your throat, causing you to let out a gasp as you saw him fisting himself under his blanket. You and Cal locked eyes; he immediately stopped and quickly apologized to explain himself as he was trying to get untangled from his sheets. Poor Cal fell out of his bed, crashing to the floor in a tangled mess of his bedding. Walking over to him, you crouch Where his arm hides his face. "I .. am so sorry ... I ... didn't mean - ""Cal?" Cal Swallows, "Yes ?" You carefully move his arm away so you can look into his eyes. "Do you want me to help you ?" Cal looked up at you with wide eyes before nodding quickly.

Cal's breath was labored as his sweaty hands gripped the sheets as he looked at you in awe. Your hands wrapped around his length as you -Kissed and licked his peddling tip, your eyes watching his adorable face. Then with a final smile and a whisper to relax and enjoy, you start sucking around him, your soft tongue - licking around his sensitive underside making his hip twitch and buckle. Cal thought he must have fallen and cracked open his skull, passing on to the next heavenly realm; how could it be that you, perfect beautiful you, are sitting on your knees eagerly, sucking and slurping on his cock; it just couldn't be real.

Then he felt his cock push to the back of your throat, and he couldn't help from throwing his head back and moaning your name. You relished in the feeling of his trembling as he came in thick spurts down your throat. You had to hold back from laughing as you heard him apologize. Standing up, you smile at his hazy expression and slight smile. You swallowed him down and caressed his cheek, giggling as he pressed frantic kisses on your palm, saying a thousand thank yous. Grabbing his chin, you smile at him as he asks those words you were hoping for. "I .. um. I have never done it, but could I help you ?' Turns out Cal is very good at following directions.

[brittle-doughie]

Introducing the Y/N plush! And the cookies and what they do with said plush!

The cookie in the second image are, shining glitter, pomegranate, chess choco twins, golden cheese, caramelon, custard the lll, black pearl, licorice, lychee, komiho, Affogato, lilac, onion, stardust, space doughnut, timekeeper, shadow milk, white lily, snap dragon, pitya, abyss monarch and fire spirit. And if your wondering, the two drawings took 6 hours total-)

The Earthbread Big Seller!

I can tell which of the two took you the longest. I would like to know what it says next to Snapdragon if you can!

“Amazing Y/N Plush! Collect your very own doll to keep. Be the first one on your block to own the amazing new Y/N Plush! Please do not fight over them!”

[A large line had formed at Butterbear’s shop! Cookies of the sea and sky have emerged too to get their very own plush!]

Many fans had considered Shining Glitter’s latest show to be one of her best! She couldn’t take all of the credit though, she had help!

She cuddled close the Y/N plush she had next to her mic stand. She can count on it to allow her to give it her all, as if Y/N themself was watching her!

Having her own plush hold up a mirror for her to help fix her hair up already made itself more useful to Pomegranate than a certain cookie in the CoD.

She took a quick look around before she took it with her to bed, dozing off with the plushie clutched tightly in her arms.

The Chess Choco duo loved that they now have an observer to their chess games in the form of their own Y/N plush! They didn’t expect one or the other to pull anything tricky, but it was nice to have some sort of reassurance that no sneaky tactics came into play!

They split the time in half with how much each of the two got to have the plush. It doesn’t stop disputes from breaking out that had Earl Grey stepping in from time to time!

One of Golden Cheese Cookie’s favorite things to do with her Y/N plush would be to dress it up in whatever amount of riches she can put on it the little doll.

One of her favorite outfits for it is one that makes the plush look like a resident of her own kingdom, complete with wings to match hers. Something she has planned for the real deal when she gets the opportunity!

Carameleon Cookie was so stoked to have a buddy to call his own within the forested areas close to the Silver Kingdom. It sure beats being alone all the time!

He can tell you that he isn’t too attached to the thing as he waits for the actual Y/N Cookie to come by. He just..doesn’t want to lose it, okay?!

It was good to have one of his loyal subjects always around to listen what he had to say! Even if it was just a plush version of them, Custard Cookie III could spend minutes just talking to the plush as if it were a real cookie!

It’s why he considers it as one of his best subjects in the kingdom! Right behind the real Y/N Cookie, of course!

Black Pearl’s Y/N plush is nothing short of the best thing to ever grace her waters. It was down to the very last detail the cookie of her dreams had.

She’d never tire of it, acting protective over the plush, something she’d be more aggressively so if the real Y/N Cookie was with her! The plush will look amazing within her dwelling!

Licorice Cookie didn’t care about Pomegranate’s venom spewing mouth these days, not when he has his bestest friend, the Y/N plush, with him!

He can truly confide his secrets and feelings towards the little plush, like his feelings towards Y/N Cookie, but it better not blab to you! He even uses the plush as a guardian for his diary!

Ha! Why wait in line for a plush when Lychee Dragon could just swipe it from that fumbler, Kumiho Cookie! She didn’t appreciate Y/N Cookie enough, so why not give it to a dragon that certainly will!

Kumiho was not having it though, angrily coming after the dragon for stealing her darling in plush form! She did not let Lychee’s lies get to her, she’s taking back that plush!

Affogato Cookie could just monologue all day to his plush on how he plans to take over the throne one day and Y/N Cookie will join him as part of that dream!

He’d promise nothing but the best life for you with a luxurious life with no worries or limits as he went to caress the plush’s cheek. The best victory would be to have you for himself while that Caramel Arrow Cookie watched! He can’t stop giggling to himself about it!

With how popular these plushies were getting, Lilac was particularly watchful of his. He already called it his own with the lilac scent and he’ll bring down anyone swiping his plush from him.

He always keeps it on his person, both as a precaution and that he has easy access to it to hold and cuddle close when he’s needy. It’s what he would’ve done to the actual Y/N Cookie.

Blackberry Cookie can always count on Y/N Cookie to help settle down Onion during one of her crying bouts, she enjoyed the company from them too. So it was a total win when she received a plush for herself and for Onion.

Onion always liked to go to bed holding both her doll and plushie to ensure a good night’s rest without the fear of a nightmare waking her up, for she trusts the Y/N plush to help her even in her dreams.

Stardust doesn’t mind sharing his Y/N plushie with his friend, Space Doughnut. After all, they share the same trait of seeing Y/N Cookie as a dear friend. Space Doughnut was just as trusting with theirs to Stardust as well!

Space Doughnut does get overly excited when they could play around with BOTH plushies, making Stardust laugh with a smile as Doughnut happily played the two plushies.

Was it really any surprise that Timekeeper Cookie wanted to be greedy and have a number of Y/N plushies? They’re her favorite, why wouldn’t she take them? It wasn’t like the original owners could prove anything against her.

Timekeeper Cookie cuddled herself amidst her plushies without a care in the world, relishing in seeing the face of the cookie she liked all around her. Though it wouldn’t hurt to try and grab a couple more to her collection…and then Y/N Cookie themself!

Shadow Milk’s puppet show was going to be wonderful with the guest of honor being Y/N Cookie themself! Almost! He was able to obtain a plushie from one of his clown faeries and he was absolutely adoring it!

The plushie is always going to be a part of his puppet shows, interacting with a doll of himself that he made. How romantic it would be if the two stuffed dolls danced and smushed together to replicate a kiss! It even made Shadow Milk himself blush at the thought of you and him possibly doing that too~

One of the faeries had gently opened White Lily’s glass case, placing down a Y/N plush they had gotten for her. She immediately grabbed it and clutched it tight close to her, a smile on her face being the indicator that she liked the plush already.

One of the faeries had gotten curious about what made this plushie so dear to her as she reached for it and tried to pull it out of her arms. She had to quickly reel her hand back when White Lily swiped at it, nuzzling the plushie closer to her body, shielding it from any further attempts.

Pitaya Dragon Cookie didn’t expect Snapdragon to enjoy their Y/N plush that much to the point that they whined for Pitaya to hand it over to them. While this was meant to be for Pitaya only, they didn’t mind it as they give it to the young dragon.

Snapdragon immediately swiped it up and flies around with the doll in their arms, babbling happily as they played around with the stuff toy. Pitaya couldn’t help but smile at the sight, it was just like when Y/N Cookie would play with Snapdragon themself…

Abyss Monarch Cookie didn’t find themself going out much, especially for something as small as a stuffed plush. Yet there they were, having went out and gotten a Y/N to call their own.

This sense of adoration they start to feel for this plush was almost on the same level as they had for Y/N Cookie themself. They gently picked it up and spun slowly around with it, was this feeling a sign and not a temporary emotion? This feeling of…longing…

Fire Spirit was so stoked to have receive his own plush that he couldn’t wait to have simmer down first before messing around with it, too enveloped in his own that his hands start to emit smoke touching the plush.

He started to freak out when he open his eyes to see that he had turned the plush into a pile of ash, crying in anguish as he tried to salvage what he can. He went back to Butterbear Cookie with the news and he was generous enough to give him a replacement, warning him to be more careful next time!

[prophetszendo]

How the birds fly (Pt. 1)

Content warning: attempted suicide, very negative thoughts. Only read if you are in the right mindset

Summary: the adventuring life took a toll on you, and you face your feelings on a nightly walk

Pairing: Astarion/you (no use of pronouns or y/n)

Word count: 2.7k

Tags: hurt/comfort, kissing, I guess fluff?, I am horrible at tagging please forgive me

About the dialogs: they are in two different "-marks, because my program uses my native language as default. And as I'm not a native speaker, feel free to point out typos, or simply weird sentences. I aim to be better with English.

It was a very long day. You finally made camp after walking for half a day, defending yourselves against an ambush, then gettinf lost in some woods. You ended up in a clearing, somewhere up in a mountain. You were not even sure anymore that you were heading to the right direction.

Setting up camp always came with it’s duties. One of it was collecting wood for a fire so someone can make the only meal you usually eat a day. Today, you were on wood and branch duty. As if it wasn’t me nearly always – you thought to yourself. Everyone clearly preferred not doing it. It was a long task and if unsuccesful, the bearer could be blamed. They didn’t went far enough, didn’t look hard enough.

Of course, everyone was on edge by now. The tadpoles in your head, the waiting, the constant danger looming over all of you created this snappy and sarcastic environment. They never really meant any of it, it was just a way to let off some steam.

You tried to not think about any of it while you picked up another piece of wood. Somewhere in the distance you heard some birds rustling, chirping, and then flying away. You tried to look through the trees surrounding you to see their siluettes in the dawn, but they were far away.

Once you deemed you had enough wood, you headed back. You heard the camp from far away. Your companions talked loudly, as if they were in a tavern, not on some mountain in the middle of nowhere.

This used to make you smile. You used to think there was at least once place you could remotely call warm and home. Right now it just felt distant.

„I’m back” you announced. Your companions looked up in sync, and in agreement, they took all of it from you and started making a fire to cook. Everyone, except Astarion.

He had this game with you. Sometimes he gave you attention, and other times, like this, as if you were thin air. Which you probably wouldn’t have cared about that much, if only you didn’t have feelings for him for a time now. When he gave you his attention, it was simply heavenly. Great flirtatous talks, teasing words, maybe a few stolen moments alone, or a drink for him, from you. They were cherished by you.

You sighed as you sat down, watching the others get lost in the chaos of collecting the ingredients for dinner.

Gods, you felt alone.

Later, when it was already late at night, you lied in your tent, wide awake. You were exhausted, yet dreams evaded you. Maybe for the better – you thought to yourself. Since the tadpoles, they were confusing, and you couldn’t get the proper rest and awoke feeling tried.

You decided to take a walk. Maybe moving around could make you a bit more sleepy. You decided to take the same route you used for collecting wood. At least you had an idea where you were there, and where was camp.

It was a very clear night, the moon was also full and shining bright. So bright, that it nearly dimmed all of the stars.

You zoned out while walking. When you came to, you noticed a cliff. You decided to take a rest there, and using what light tbe moon provides to just sit and watch.

There was a branch conveniently a few meters from the edge of the cliff.

In the distance, you heard and owl making noise. The next moment, it flew above you, and into the horizon.

You always wanted to fly. It seemed so free. From everything. Let it be the ground that was under you, or the burden of everyday life.

Not that you had a big burden back in Baldur’s Gate. It was the opposite, really. Everyday was the same. It grew dull overtime. Yet you couldn’t find anything motivating enough to change it. You were prepared to grow old, doing the same thing. You also had trouble bonding with people there. Not that you didn’t try, the friendships just always seemed to wither away with time. And the tavern buddies slowly all stopped showing up, until you were sitting by yourself, drinking some cheap ale.

Originally you thought of this tadpole event to be the push you needed to finally change your life around for the better. Learn new skills, like how to set up camp, survive on your own, decide which berry is edible. Make great friends for life – if you make it out alive. You were positive at the start that you would. You took on every challenge, helped every person that came your way, moved every rock to find a cure.

The others started to see you as their leader. It made you happy, gave you a purpose.

Until it became too much. You had to make the hard choices: who to side with? Which lead to follow? Kill someone and be sure they won’t spill your plan to the enemy, or let them live and be hopeful that they will be true to their promise?

It didn’t help that everyone had opinions, which they didn’t hesitate to share. And someone always disapproved, and it was on you.

And seemingly only you had nothing personal to solve. Everyone had a life, a purpose, a big enemy, an end goal. A reason to get the tadpole out. What waited for you after the adventure was just... grey. As it was before.

You sometimes wished this adventure would never end. You liked being around everyone. Karlach’s happy demeanor, how she seemed to be excitied for everything. Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s conflicts did bring some tension, but it always turned out well in the end. Gale and his magical hunger made you slightly amused: who actually eats boots? Not to mention Wyll, Halsin or Volo.

Astarion. Obviously, he was the star of the group. For you, at least. You loved how he liked deception and mocking people. You loved hearing his sweet words, especially when one of those were your name. You loved, when he opened up a little about himself. How life was for him as a spawn. It twisted your heart to hear him struggle, and you tried to help any way you could. Basically blidly following if he had a suggestion, even claiming it was your idea, if the others asked.

You believed your feelings became obvious for the others some time ago. You overheard them talk, then suddenly go silent when they saw you. Your name was whisperes silently along with Astarion’s a few times, but you were never included in those conversations.

You stood up, and took a few steps ahead, while fixing your gaze on the stars. They looked beautiful, like tiny little lanters far in the sky.

Like how the blood splattered from the goblin you killed today.

The image suddenly invaded your mind, and you now all you saw in the sky was bloodshed and violence. You didn’t want to end their life, it seemed pointless. They didn’t even seem so evil, just like a few pawns in the bigger game.

You tried to redirect your thoughts, so you thought about something else. More precisely, someone else. His silverish hair, eyes so sharp, that they see into your soul, his vampire smile he only shows with you.

Usually these pictures comfort you, but how Astarion had been acting lately, you just felt more invisible, even smaller.

Yes, invisible. You found the right word. As if you were hidden behind your responsibilities and decisions. As if your opinions, emotions did not matter anymore. Because you will do all the hard stuff, let it be collecting wood, taking the blame, or deciding to let someone bleed out or end their suffering.

They probably haven’t even noticed just how much you had on your shoulders.

Would they notice if you were gone?

You took a few steps closer to the cliff. You wondered what could be on the bottom. Maybe the river you passed recently? Or was that on the other side? Maybe a few boulders.

The memory of the birds you heard today flashed i ro your mind. You really did want to feel free, like how they were flying away from you.

You stood on the edge. The front of your feet were not even on the ground anymore. The moon didn’t give enough light to see what was on thr bottom. It seemed like a dark pit, that could just swallow you whole.

You felt something cold on your face. You realized that while you were lost in your thoughts, you started crying.

You never faced your raw feelings before. Maybe that’s why. Or because you finally made a decision. One, that would make sure you never ever had to make anymore.

„I always wanted to try flying...” you whispered in front of you, into the abyss.

You closed your eyes, and put your arms out, imitating wings. You shifted your weight, and started to fall forward...

...and with a suddend yank, you fell back, onto something warm.

You were confused, and it took you a few seconds to realize what happened. Sounds slowly made it to your ear, and the little light into your eyes.

„Fuck, dammit, you... No, it’s not your fault, I’m sorry, but shit, I can’t believe... Do you know what you were doing?!”

A voice came from under and behind you. It was rambling, sounding very distraught. Maybe even scared.

You turned around, still a bit lightheaded from the shock of falling backwards. Your eyes met a very familiar pair of scarlet eyes.

Astarion.

He was panting, as if he ran from camp all the way here. But you doubted it, he wouldn’t run after you. Maybe he noticed you were gone?

Suddenly, he hugged you tightly. His fingers dug into you, as if you could just float away anytime from his grasp. He felt warm, which was unusual to you. But truth be told, he never held you like this before.

He struggled breathing. He didn’t need to get air, which just added to the list of strange things happening. Maybe you actually fell and now living in just a fantasy?

But no, you slowly started to hear soft sniffles with the breathing. Astarion was... Sobbing.

„I’m... So, so sorry” he said, making eyecontact again. You noticed tears forming in his eyes.

You were at a loss for words. You finally pieced together what happened. Astarion saved you in the last second, and he was clearly distraught by what happened.

You felt guilty.

„What happened?” Astarion asked with a soft voice. You looked away, not being able to make a sound. You yearned to share your feelings with him, but there seemed to be no proper words to use. Nor a voice to say anything with.

„You... You’re so strong. What happened? What did we... What did I miss?”

The correction in his sentence made you heart flutter and ache at the same time. He clearly was very caring towards you, but you feared it was just one of those times and that it would never last longer than a few days.

„I’m...” you stuttered. Your voice felt like it wasn’t yours. You had to put all your strength into forming just a few words. „...not...strong...”

Astarion looked at you, with immense worry. You couldn’t say more now, and you felt like you couldn’t speak again for a long time.

You tugged on his tadpole, inviting him for a visit in your mind. You previously all agreed in the group, that you give everyone the privacy of their own mind, so you opening a way into yours was unusual.

You gave him a faint smile. You tried to put encouragement into it. He closed his eyes, and stepped through the door into your memories and feelings.

You showed him everything. How life was for you in Baldur’s Gate, and just how miserable you felt. How the initial excitement of this adventure turned into a daily torture of decisions, where there was no right answer, responsibilities which were crushing you, and the constant judgement of others.

You showed him the rollercoaster of feelings his actions caused. The hope you cradled for so much time, the longing you felt for him. The pain you felt everytime it seemed like he was just toying with you.

You shared how ready you were to let things end.

As he experienced your feelings, his arm grew even tighter around you, and he slowly buried his wet face into your neck.

After you showed him everything, he pulled out of your mind. He lifted his head, but only so much that his mouth was to your ear.

„You’re so much stronger than I thought you to be, darling” he whispered. „I never knew you struggled so much. You always seemed so sure, you... You never took any shit. You seemed so brave and determined.”

He gulped, and took a deep breath. He slowly lifted his head fully, to be face to face with you.

„I guess... I never thought about how it affects you. It was so easy following what you say, letting you decide on every crossroad. And it was so easy... Blaming you, if something went south. We... I should’ve stopped to think about you. And how you feel.”

Tears started forming again. He took another shaky breath, and tried to quickly blink them away.

„I always took you for granted. A strong leader, who is always there. And not just there...”

He looked down. You saw a single teardrop sneaking over his cheek. You never saw him this vulnerable before.

„I took you granted in a more... personal way too. Now that I saw myself through your eyes, I understand. Gods, I was such an asshole with you.”

He paused for a moment, as if searching for words. He opened his mouth, but closed it back soon. You sat in silence for a bit. You didn’t mind.

For the first time, you felt seen.

„I was scared of my own feelings” Astarion said suddenly. You sligthly raised your eyebrows, suggesting suprise. His own feelings?

„Yes. The ones I have for you.”

Your stomach filled up with butterflies. Did you hear that correctly? You couldn’t do anything, but blink at him.

„Whenever I realized just how much I care about you, I pushed you away. In my past, caring about someone meant you had another exploitable weak spot. Someone they could hurt to hurt you. And I didn’t want anyone to hurt you. So I pushed you away, since if I’m cold towards you, noone will think anything of you.”

He chuckled a little.

„But I could never keep it up for long. Because I missed you, Gods I missed you so much, even when you were right beside me, covering my back in a battle, sleeping just a few tents away. And yet, I kept missing you so much, it hurt. And now that I see, just how much it hurt you, I regret it so, incredibly much. We could have had sweet stolen moments together, if only I was less stubborn, and looked out for you a little more.”

Astarion looked utterly defeated and sad. You felt the truth in his words, and it was something you only ever dreamed of. You raised your hand to caress his cheek. He gave you one of those vampire smiles that made your knees weak.

He lifted both his hands, and held your face just under your ears. He pulled you closer to himself, and out your foreheads together. It was a very intimate moment.

„I think I fell in love with you” he whispered so silently, you barely heard it. But you did. And it gave your voice back.

„I fell in love with you, too” you said, giving him the first real smile since you were here.

He slowly leaned closer to you. You closed your eyes, and got lost in the moment.

And then... He kissed you.

[btsbabe7]

Rain Does Not Fall on One Roof Alone

Word Count: 4k

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x reader, Sebastian Sallow x reader

Warnings!: 18+, unprotected sex, death of a friend

Synopsis: After the death of a mutual friend, you and Ominis try to find a way to navigate life together in the aftermath.

Miniature droplets fall from their rightful place in the sky, meeting each other on the glass pane that separates you from the outside world. When they’ve gathered enough, they form together as one and trail long, squiggly lines down the length of your bedroom window. The piano downstairs hums a sad tune, perfect for accompanying the gloomy overcast of spring and the tears gathering in your eye ducts. On days like this, you can’t help but think about it all—your final battle with Ranrok, the loss of your dearest teacher, Professor Fig, and in his own stubbornness, your best friend, Sebastian Sallow.

In the months following the battle with Ranrok, Ominis remained by your side. He had been there before the battle, and now, he remained glued to you. He knew you’d fall apart on your own. Your muggle mother didn’t know Sebastian and your father had departed from your life at the age of eight.

You have no one else.

Your mother doesn’t know Ominis either, nor does she know that he apparates into your bedroom most days and nights. He simply lies beside you, cuddles against your trembling body, and wipes away tears that spawn from your nightmares of watching Sebastian being taken from your life in the worst way possible by Ranrok.

In your dreams, you warn Sebastian not to come, that even your ancient magic and practice may be no match for Ranrok’s power. You were never sure you could save him and the school. And each time, he doesn’t listen. He still stumbles into the final repository against your advice, thinking he can help. Each time his life is taken before you can react. Each time you let out an excruciating wail, flinging defensive spell after defensive spell in hopes of reaching his body in time. You want to reach him with just enough time to tell him how idiotic he is for trying to save you, to tell him that his stubbornness will bring you everlasting, excruciating pain, and lastly, to tell him that you’ve loved him from the start.

And each time, there’s never enough time.

There wasn’t enough time.

Some days you wish you’d turned him in for his uncle’s death because surely it’d be easier to see him behind the grim bars of Azkaban than to never see him again at all. You should’ve hugged him after it all. He was so scared, so shocked at what he’d done and of Anne’s reaction to it that he couldn’t process the repercussions. Ominis had known the moment you two both apparated back into the concealment of The Undercroft. He hadn’t given you much time to process it all, to help Sebastian get through it all. Ultimately, you decided that you couldn’t imagine a life where you’d have to travel to that dreadful prison to visit your best friend. He was far too young to be there, too young to have it eat him alive all alone, too young to have his life ripped away. Ominis simply agreed, though you know he only agreed because it was you making the final decision.

Ominis shuffles under the blankets beside you, bringing your attention back to present. His thick brows scrunch and fall flat, his eyelids twitch and his natural pink lips pull into a sheepish, childlike smile.

“Sebastian?” He chuckles innocently, softly in the safety of his dreams and your childhood bedroom.

Your lips quiver, nose scrunching against the burning sensation that overtakes it. It crinkles against the crocodile tears in your eyes and the loud sob that jolts Ominis from the peace of his dream.

“Y/n?” Ominis calls, his voice deep with sleepiness.

“I’m sorry for waking you. I… I—“

“Come here,” he whispers and pulls you down into his arms.

In the safeness of his arms, he pulls the blanket over your body and nestles you against his chest. You can feel the tears collecting against the softness of his t-shirt under your cheek, the feeling of his hand stroking soft passes over your curls, his voice telling you it’s okay to feel this way and that he’ll never leave your side until you tell him to.

“I can’t stop thinking about how it happened. How he was so stubborn until the end. How I had to witness it. How it still haunts me in my dreams, my nightmares…”

Ominis doesn’t say anything, but his pearlescent eyes stare straight ahead at your ceiling. You can feel his heartbeat begin to slow underneath you.

Shallow and deep.

Heartbroken.

A tear slips from the corner of his eye and disappears into the strands of his of his blonde hair.

“Try to remember him as he was during his best times. Perhaps in The Undercroft or in class. Battling together in Crossed Wands. Or when I’d met him and Anne when we were just children. Things would be so different had we not met you at all.”

You feel queasy. You’d never stopped blaming yourself for his death, but you didn’t know Ominis thought that way too.

“But had we not met you, Anne wouldn’t be cured,” he continues. “Sebastian would’ve driven himself looney searching for a cure. He wouldn’t want you to be sad. He’d want you to find happiness and be surrounded by friends and people who care for you.”

You hate that you’d rather have a cursed Anne over a dead Sebastian and for your own selfish reasons nonetheless. You hate that you’d rather search the entire Earth to find a cure with Sebastian going insane than to face the immense suffering of losing him forever.

“You’re my only friend, Ominis. The others don’t understand, they weren’t there. And what could they say besides, ‘sorry?’”

“We both lost him. Anne lost him too. And we’ve been sulking for a year now. Perhaps we should pay a visit?”

Your heart stops, stuck and frozen in time.

You both hadn’t been to the burial site since it all happened. Professor Weasley had commended Professor Fig and Sebastian on their ‘unmatched bravery and commitment’ to the school, and to you. You blamed yourself for it all, always. For the ancient magic you possess, for not saying no to Professor Fig when he accompanied you to your final battle, for not telling Sebastian how you felt earlier, and for not admitting that you wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms at the end of it all.

A soft gasp slips from your lips and you hold Ominis tightly, letting out the lingering sobs the very moment you catch your breath again.

About an hour later, you find yourself walking down endless rows of gravestones. The warmth of Ominis’ soft hand in yours keeps you centered as a red light flashes at the tip of his wand—a beacon of sorts, which he used to navigate the corridors of Hogwarts, and now, the distantly familiar cemetery. Luckily, his wand remembers the way because in your own grief you’d both be lost for hours.

Ominis had asked you to help him into something nice, even asked you to tie his emerald tie to keep your mind off other things. Despite the set destination, he looked charming. His blonde hair combed back neatly and a teasing smile on his face as you sighed in frustration over the tie instead of in sorrow.

“This damned tie,” you’d muttered. “Don’t they have a spell to tie these things?”

“I’m sure you could find one in your rather extensive book collection.”

You’d scoffed at the sudden knowledge of him snooping through your room when you do finally fall asleep.

“Surely you’ll help me find one on it then?” you sighed, thinking back to the time you’d first passed Ominis and Sebastian at the start of your fifth year.

Natsai had been giving you a tour when you’d spotted the duo at the base of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower. Sebastian had been chomping on the crispiest, crimson apple you’d ever laid eyes upon and Ominis toyed with an upside down book in his hands. You hadn’t known he was blind at the time, but it was an ongoing joke between the pair that you’d later be let in on.

“I will give it my best,” Ominis had laughed, putting an emphasis on eye-will like Sebastian would have.

You’d laughed for the first time in a year.

“Should be about here,” Ominis mutters, once again drawing your attention back to your current reality.

You stop short, your feet and heart weighing heavily on the wet grass beneath you. The soil underneath feels bouncy like walking on a trampoline. Something you were able to enjoy before you knew you possessed the power of magic, before you’d been sent away to learn how to control it. You hate to see him like this, something you can’t control—Sebastian tucked away neatly in the best coffin you and Ominis could afford, six feet under the Earth you both still tread on daily. You’d give anything to hear his laugh again, another sarcastic quip, to smell the embers of a lingering Confringo on his emerald, embroidered school robe when you’d follow him out of The Undercroft in the early mornings.

Tears flood your eyes again and deep grey clouds swim above your head, daring to squeeze out more heavy droplets. Daring to overtake you completely. But Ominis finds his way back to your side, immediately taking your hand in his again and slowly inching you closer.

He’d only stepped away for seconds.

“It’s alright, Y/n,” he whispers the moment the grave comes into view.

You have a clear view, the clearest ever. Just feet away, the headstone reads, Sebastian Sallow with a cursive epitaph engraved underneath that’s already begun to wither away from the constant rain, the general erosion of rock.

You want to cry.

You want to scream.

You want to curse Ranrok for taking the one person you loved the most away from you. Away from Ominis, and even Anne, who you know would have forgiven him with time had she not been denied the chance.

You all had been denied the chance.

And though you want to cry, nothing comes out. As if all your tears have run dry over a year of endlessly sorrow.

Ominis was right. Sebastian wouldn’t want you to be sad. He’d be happy that Ominis took you in, that you two still had each other in a world where people can become distant. He’d hate the idea of Ominis sleeping in your bed at night. Had he still been here and that was the case, he’d go on a jealous rant about how it should be him instead. You’d both laugh about it, then you’d invite both him and Ominis over for cuddles.

It should be him, but it’s not. And perhaps that means something too.

You lean onto Ominis’ right shoulder and he holds you tightly, resting his cheek against the crown of your head with a breathy sigh. You recognize it as an attempt to hold back the tears he only lets out at night, long after he thinks you’re asleep. Sometimes you pretend to be, knowing he’d say it’s nothing had he known you were actually awake. In those times, you scoot in closer and hug him a bit tighter.

You do the same now as an attempt to calm Ominis and to look away from the grave. You can’t bear the sight. You never could.

“Ominis,” you breathe, now looking over his shoulder at a plethora of unnamed graves.

There’s a chill here, but also a newfound sense of peace. These people are no longer in pain, no longer fighting the struggles of love and loss and life.

They are truly resting.

Sebastian is resting.

Sebastian is finally resting in peace.

You can feel it in the air. In the way a warm breeze sweeps over you, pulling you closer to Ominis. It whispers to you that it’s finally okay to move on, to accept that though Sebastian had been your first love, a love you only got to experience shortly, there’s much more love to be discovered.

You rub your palm over Ominis’ right shoulder, breathing in softly the moment you both gaze at each other. He looks perfect—tie still tied skillfully, his blonde hair remaining neat, and his tears have dried as if in the same moment you both had the same realization.

“Y/n…” he starts wearily, hesitantly.

You hum in response and caress the side of his face.

“I—“

“I know, Ominis,” you finally breathe, nuzzling into him.

His brows fall in relief and in realization. A gentle smile pulls at the corners of his lips, one you haven’t seen except in glimpses throughout the year. In all the time Sebastian had been gone, Ominis had been there, even before. He’s never left your side and he never would. And you find nothing but comfort in his presence, something you’ve long craved, even before Sebastian.

“I crave you,” he says and takes a deep breath before pulling you in. “But I know I’m not him.”

You caress his other cheek, wiping his falling tears away with your thumbs before leaning in closer. His lips are right there—damp, pink and glistening even in the overcast.

“I don’t need you to be him. Just keep being Ominis.”

He chuckles nervously, “ I don’t think I could be anyone else.”

You nod softly, tears in both your eyes as he caresses the sides of your face and leans in the rest of the way.

It takes your brain seconds to realize you’re actually kissing Ominis because it simply feels like a dream, a distant one you’ve had before. Like déjà vu. But once you both deepen the kiss, you know it’s real, and it feels so right.

“We should go,” you whisper against him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Ominis presses back into you and you both drop your hands into each others. Within an instant, you’ve been apparated into your room, but you don’t need to pull away from Ominis’ lips to know. It’s the smell of blueberry pie slipping under the crack of your locked door and the familiarity of the mattress underneath your bodies.

You untie his tie effortlessly, then tug at the small buttons of his shirt until they come undone. You slip back from his lips, running a hand down his bare chest between you two as he sits up to kiss into your jawline. He untucks the hem of your shirt and plants his hands firmly against the bare flesh of your waist. You drop your hips completely with the overwhelming urgency to feel friction clouding your thoughts. Ominis mews softly underneath you, allowing his hands to travel further down until they’re planted firmly on your ass to guide your rocking hips back and forth. He’s never touched you this way, but it feels as if he has so many times. As if he should be more often.

He lies back as you reach for his belt and grins towards the ceiling sheepishly. You can’t get the view of him spawn out like this out of your mind, and like fuel to a fire, you both undress each other impatiently. Then, Ominis’ hands pine into your doughy flesh, caressing and rubbing all the right places as you grind against him. Part of you can’t believe the feeling of him hard against you. The other part that believes is starved for him, yearning to feel his length inside of you.

A perfect storm.

As Ominis works his briefs downward, your head begins to spin at the thought of having sex and you find yourself blurting the words before your mind can fully wrap around the thought.

“I’ve never had sex before.”

Ominis stops short, his reddened cock springing from the thin fabric simultaneously.

“Neither have I.”

You aren’t sure why you sigh in relief, but that’s how it feels when Ominis pulls you closer and takes your lips against his. He caresses the side of your neck with one hand, and with the other, he slowly glides the tip of his erection up and down your length until you both feel your petals unfold for him. A moan spills into his mouth as you take in the pleasure and mentally prepare for the pain you know is to come. But Ominis goes slowly, working the tip back and forth until you’re moaning and wet enough for his liking.

“Are you alright?” He hums against your parted lips.

“Mhm. I think I’m ready.”

He pulls you closer once more, until your bare breasts are pressed firmly against the flatness of his chest. And as he begins to press through your tightness, you bury your mouth into the crook of his neck. You feel the pressure first when he slips the head inside, his length following little by little. He lets out a soft breath at the feeling. In and back out, then in a bit further. It feels foreign, both painful and pleasantly pleasurable. And once you’re sure it’s in, he grips your hips and guides them flush to his groin.

You let out a helpless yelp. Clearly he wasn’t completely inside, but he is now.

“Still alright?”

“Mhm.” That’s all you can manage with your walls clenching around the girth stuffed inside you.

You sit up slowly, just enough to keep him stuffed inside as you do. With both legs on either side of him, you bring your palms to either side of the pillow beneath his head and begin rolling your hips back and forth. A deep groan escapes his parted lips and he keeps his hands on your hips as you ride him the only way you know how. His eyes are squeezed shut and his bottom lip is tucked between his teeth. And as much as he seems to be in heaven, he also looks as if he’s trying to concentrate on something. You don’t bother asking what, instead you come up a bit, close your eyes too and toss your head back towards the ceiling. You let all the pleasure and pulsating and your empty mind overtake you entirely.

After a minute or so, your body flushes hot and you perk up quickly. Ominis’ heavy breathing has turned into frantic pants. His grip on your hips had loosened to explore your body—your taut breasts, the hardness of your protruding nipples, the softness of your belly, the goosebumps that prickled against your arms and thighs at the bursts of sheer pleasure, but now they were tight on your hips again, almost cutting skin.

“Y-Y/n,” Ominis sputters shakily. “Think I’m going t—“

“Omi,” you interrupt in a sharp, sudden pant. You feel the very heat that’d started in your chest creep into the depths of your core. You tried to hold it back, tried to keep it at bay, but much like a tidal wave, it reappears and dares to wash over you. “Ominis!”

You mewl deeply.

You aren’t sure if he sensed it first, the tightening of your walls around him, but his nose and lips twitch violently at the feeling. He pulls you down suddenly and crashes his lips against yours wildly. His tongue presses into your mouth and you let out a loud moan against it. Trembling, you grip his bicep with your left hand and falter down to your right elbow. Your thighs shake as the violent wave overtakes you and leaves your tightening and shaking against his faltering thrusts.

Ominis’ name almost rolls off your tongue again, but with a violent hiss, he slips out of you immediately. You feel warm, sticky spurts against your thighs and lie down against his damp body. His heart is practically leaping out of his chest, the erratic beat thumping pummels against your right ear and his breathy pants fill your left.

You trace your fingertip over his left nipple and he shutters slightly, letting out a choked chuckle.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to stop,” he mutters once his heaving chest falters a bit. “You feel amazing inside.”

“Om…” you groan nervously, heat rising to your cheeks at the thought.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters softly and begins stroking your curls.

Silence falls over the room, aside from the pitter-pattering of the rain picking up on your windowpane again. You swear you hear thunder in the distance, but maybe it’s just the sound of your own heart.

“Sebastian should have been your first,” Ominis whispers out of nowhere. Your head shoots up and you give him a warning glance, and though you know he can’t see it, he must sense it. “I mean to say, he was in love with you. He’d told me once… one night after we’d snuck out of The Undercroft back to our dorms. ‘I think I’m in love with her,’ were his exact words. I can’t hold onto them anymore.”

You fight back the tears you feel forming in the ducts of your eyes and the heaviness of your weak legs.

Why would he tell you this now?

You pull your emotions together and lie against him again.

You think of Ominis.

You think of Sebastian.

You think of yourself.

“I believe you were meant to be my first,” you hum softly and trace the length of his collarbone. “With Sebastian, it would’ve been rushed, rough even. I’m happy that my first time was soft, gentle, and with someone who cares about me. Someone I love.”

Ominis’ heart skips a beat and his cheeks grow warm against your scalp.

“Perhaps it’s also time I admit that I’m in love with you.” He states it so softly that you’re sure you misheard. So, you prop yourself up to be sure.

“You’re in love with me?”

He takes in a deep breath to steady his heartbeat that’s begun to pummel in his chest again.

“I have for a long time, Y/n. From the start, though for Sebastian’s sake, I had to conceal it. I had no choice, he was my best friend.”

“We all have a choice,” you reply. “I wish I’d known sooner.”

“No,” he sighs. “It’s happened this way for a reason and it was meant to be this way. Not a second sooner.”

You take in what he says and analyze it. Had Sebastian been here, he’d fight Ominis to the death for your heart, that’s just the kind of person he was. Ultimately, it’d probably cost them their friendship or cost them yours. As for yourself, you know you wouldn’t have been able to choose between your very first love, one who’d kept you on your toes, and the boy who’d been there for you since the start, the one whose shoulder you knew you could cry on no matter how bad things got.

Ominis is right.

He’s always been right.

You cant bring yourself to say anything more and you’re sure Ominis is racking his own brain, thinking he’s chosen the wrong time to admit his love for you.

You kiss his cheek and pull your quilt up after draping your leg over him. You listen to his audible sigh of relief as you stroke your thumb against his jawline. You place a kiss there too until he gets the hint to bring his lips closer. Once he does, you caress the side of his face and press into him eagerly. And when he pulls away, you let out in a soft breath, “I love you so much, Omi.”

He straightens his head, resting it on the open palm of his right hand. His eyes are closed to the ceiling and his nose twitches softly. Your eyes follow the silent tear that slips down his face.

He smirks softly, then whispers, “I love you more than you’ll ever know. And thank you for being here through my worst times.”

With a soft smile, you both cuddle into each other. And for once, in over a year, you both fall into a deep sleep, full of nothing but happiness, with not a single tear in sight.

Please be sure to check out my other latest fics:

⚡︎ Perfect Storm (m.) - Ominis Gaunt x reader

⚡︎ Untitled (m.) - Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt x reader

⚡︎ Coffee (Love You a Latte) - Sebastian Sallow x reader

⚡︎ Golden - Sebastian Sallow x reader

⚡︎ For You Always (m.) - Severus Snape x reader

⚡︎ HP: November Prompt Challenge (days 1-30)

~ Navi: masterlist (all fandoms)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction, but please don’t copy! Written purely for fun :) Please only repost to other socials w/my permission and credit! Reblogging w/credit is fine. Thank you! ♡

May 2024

[prettypinkporkchop]

I Lied

Summary: You and Embry do not like each other.

Warnings: language, vomit, close to smut?

Embry Call imprinted on you, which is not a dream come true. He's got no patience with you, and you have a big mouth. He didn't want to imprint on you, but he did. You guys met when you started working for his mom at the store. He's childish, and he always talks about women. You don't know but you truly believe he's a fuck boy. Apparently, he wasn't like this in school. The shifter side is getting to his head.

Right now, the pack and their imprints are camping in the snow. No, you didn't want to go, but Embry said he didn't feel like dealing with the distant pain from being away from you.

"Don't touch me." Embry jerks backward.

"Look, I don't want to be here just as much as you don't. I'm fucking cold and you're warm. Don't be a dick." You spit.

He groans before pulling you on his chest. You look up at his face. Yeah, he's hot. But you can't stand him. He keeps his eyes closed, and you try to adjust yourself in between his legs.

"Get comfortable, or you're sleeping in the snow." He sighs. He wraps his arms around you to keep you still.

"Whatever. Don't get any ideas, fuck boy. I'm not those girls you fuck and leave." You lay your head down on his chest.

He chuckles at you. "I wouldn't even kiss you."

----

You're at your shift in the shop. It's almost 8 pm, which is the time you guys close. Tiffany is getting ready to close.

"Y/n, could you do something for me?" Tiffany asks you. She stands next to you at the counter.

"Yes ma'am?" You look at her.

"I'm surprising Embry with a dinner date, and I don't want to be late. Could you deliver these to Dr. Carlisle Cullen? I'm going to go ahead and close the store." She hands you a bucket of souvenirs.

Oh god, Embry is going to be pissed off. Oh well, haha!

"Uh, yes, ma'am. I sure can." You reply.

After the store is closed and cleaned inside, you put the box in the back of your car. You begin your drive there.

Yes, you're nervous. You haven't been around vampires because Embry will NOT let you unless it's Renesmee, and she's with Jacob. Even with everyone on good terms, being a protective shifter who imprinted does not care about the civil relationship. Embry wants you safe. But you know it's only because he does not want to deal with the grief of an imprint.

-------

At the restaurant:

Tiffany hands Embry the bottle of ketchup. He smiles, taking it from her and pouring it on his plate.

"So, how was work today?" She asks Embry.

"Not too bad. I'm tired but that's nothing new. What about you, ma?" He takes a bite of his food.

Embry believes that you are safe and sound at home, like always after work. You always just sit at home and chill until you fall asleep.

"Work was easy! Not too many customers. Although there was one tourist." She giggles.

Embry nods his head.

"Y/n is such a good worker. I can't believe you two don't get along. She's so sweet." She looks over Embry's face.

He grumbles and rolls his eyes. "To you." He then chuckles.

"Come on, Embry." She laughs. She takes another bite of her food. "Oh yeah! Dr. Cullen bought a bunch of stuff from the store." She mumbles.

"Oh, he was there today?" Embry raises an eyebrow.

"No. He wanted them delivered. He's such a good man. I had to get y/n to do it for me so I could take you here." Her words sent Embry in an internal rage. But, she continued. "They are going to pay her when she brings it there. Have you ever wondered how a family could be so freaking smart?" She laughs.

Embry takes a deep breath in and out. He's trying to collect himself. No, he's not mad at his mom. She knows nothing. "Yeah, they're smart people." He plays along. He pulls out his phone, which he feels rude doing but would feel even more rude if he just left. He texts y/n.

-----

You pull up at the all window house. You haven't been here since all of the imprints and the pack came to Renesmee's fully grown celebration party. Weird ass shit.

The door opens, and it's Bella. She's waving at you. You open the car door and grab the stuff from the back.

"Thank you for bringing these. We appreciate it." Bella smiles as you walk toward her, handing her the box.

"It's no problem!" You smile back.

Carlisle comes out of the house with a big smile. He has his wallet in his hand and is digging through it. "Thank you for delivering to us. We really appreciate it. Here!" He hands you the amount that Tiffany had asked for.

"Thanks! I better get going. Bye, guys!" You wave and get in your car. When you get inside, your phone is going crazy.

Twenty seven texts from Embry. You open them up.

Embry: Are you okay?

Embry: text back now.

Embry: mom told me where you are are you crazy

Embry: dude

Embry: yes I fucking love you and I care about you and if anything happens I'm going to kill everyone

Embry: fuck. Ignore that.

Embry: answer me now.

The texts were on and on. You start to type to reply, but he calls. You quickly answer and drive out of the driveway.

"Embry, chill. I'm leaving their house."

"I just left the restaurant. I was on my way there to you. Go to my house." He ends the call.

His house? Why? You sigh and drive to the reservation.

You pull up to his small house, which you have been to a few times. The inside always smells like incense and men body spray. Embry does smell nice. He smells just as good as he looks... omg Y/N SHH!!!! You're mentally punching yourself.

You knock on the door, and he's fast to answer it. He looks down at you. He seems mad and worried at the same time. The shirtless guy is just in his shorts. Your eyes scan his body that you've seen a bunch of times. But it still amazes you. He catches this and smirks, grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside.

"I was worried sick." He sighs.

"Yeah, so worried that you confessed you love me." You smirk and cross your arms. God, yes just to get under this guy's skin!

He does this:

He looks up at you. He presses your back against the door. "If that's what I have to do to keep you wrapped around my finger and close to me, I'll lie to you again."

His words vibrate your body, and for some reason, you feel hurt. His words hurt you, and you don't know why.

"Is it because you're too busy with other women?" You hiss.

He chuckles lowly and then leans in super close to your face. You could nearly kiss him. "Sweetie, I'm not Paul. It feels good that you find me so attractive that you assume I can get any girl." His hands trail down your side.

You hold in your breath and look up at his eyes. Even though his fingers are above your shirt, it doesn't stop the electricity you feel.

He pulls away from you and then laughs. "Who's got something to confess now?" He asks.

"Bye, Embry." You say softly and turn around and leave.

----

Embry presses kisses down your neck. You're high on him right now. His hands are finding every spot on your body you want him to touch. You're arching your back to press against his hand.

"Y/n.."

You moan in response.

"Y/n, wake up."

You gasp and jump awake, and you hit your head on Embry's face. "Ow! Damn it. What do you want? How did you get in?" You place your hand on your forehead.

He gently moves your hand from your forehead and observes it. He slumps back down in his spot next to your hips on the bed. "You left the door unlocked like an idiot."

"Thanks for checking. You can leave now." You roll over away from him.

"You were talking in your sleep."

God, shut up, Embry. You don't care. But you're hoping with everything in you that it wasn't obvious about what was happening.

"Okay?" You reply.

"Is that what you want, or was it just a dream?" He remains still in his place.

How do you answer? Okay, obviously you want to say no but you... don't want to say no. How do you go about this?

"Gotchu. Well, I'm going to lock the door." He stands up.

Stop him.

Stop him.

You reach over quicker than you knew you could, and you grab onto his wrist. He looks down at you with an eyebrow raised.

The words asking him to stay are fighting to roll out of your mouth. But you remember what he said earlier. He doesn't care about you. Why should you care about him?

"N-nothing." You let him go.

He slowly leaves your room.

----

You straighten up the objects that are sitting on the shelves and dust around the store. Tiffany is on the phone with a customer. You listen to her answer their questions and keep doing your duties.

She hangs up the phone and sighs. "Did you hear about Jacob's birthday party tomorrow night?" She asks.

You stop what you're doing and look at her. "No, ma'am."

"They're having a party at Billy's. Everyone is going. I'm probably not. Are you?" She asks.

"It depends on if Kim and Jared invite me." You smile at her.

"It's crazy that you and Embry don't get along, but you two have the same friends. Wherever he goes, you go. Maybe you should try to talk to him?" She crosses her arms with a smile.

"I.." You chuckle out a breath, "we're civil."

"Well, that's better than nothing." She says.

The night finishes like usual. You get home, take a shower, and relax in bed. All day, you haven't heard from Embry. Why does it lowkey bother you?

While you're scrolling through your phone, Kim messages you.

Kim: Hey babes, you should come to Jacob's party tomorrow night! Please! It's gonna be fun.

You: I'll go, love.

----

Emily hands you a beer, and you take it. Maybe drinking isn't the best idea, considering you're trying to avoid Embry. Nonetheless, you decide to focus on your friends and have a good time.

You walk over to Jacob, Leah, Seth, and Paul. "What's up?" You ask them.

"Oh, hey! Want to go dance by the fire?" Leah asks you.

Paul laughs and then looks at you. "Yeah, Rachel is dancing with Emily right now. They look goofy." He looks their way.

"Come on." You grab Leah's hand.

You and Leah begin to dance, avoiding running into the other girls. You two are playfully dancing as you rub your butt against her. She's laughing and holding onto you.

You end up drinking too much and spending most of your time around the Black pack during the night. Jacob and Renesmee have you dying of laughter. Leah and Seth made you completely forget about Embry. In fact, you forgot he was even there. Until,

"What's going on between you and Embry anyway?" Leah asks.

"Shh." Jacob says to Leah.

You stop your laughing and look down. The alcohol makes you emotional. You start to tear up.

"Leah!" Seth says and holds onto you. You cry in his shoulder.

"Why does this have to be my love life? He's so mean. I'd give him a chance if he wasn't a stupid immature asshole." You sob.

"Poor guy told me before Renesmee came around that he didn't want an imprint. He's going to come around. You should hear his thoughts during patrol." Seth comforts you.

Jake begins to laugh. "He has feelings for you. He believes you hate him so bad. He doesn't want to get attached and let down."

This makes you stop crying and look at the smiling group.

"What's going on?" You hear a syern Embry ask. He grabs a hold of you. "Why is she crying?" He takes your face and wipes your tears.

"Because of you, dumbass." Leah answers.

You whine. "Leah! You weren't supposed to say that, I don't want him." You argue.

Embry just wraps you up in his arms. "Come on." He says.

"What if she wants to stay?" Jake smirks at Embry.

"She's drunk enough, brother." Embry laughs.

"Take her home and take care of her." Jake orders.

"Alright, alpha." Embry replies.

You cry as he holds you and brings you to your car. You start to struggle with your steps. He sighs and lifts you up bridal style.

"Embry, where are we going?" You sniffle.

He doesn't respond and puts you in the passenger seat. He gets in the drivers seat and starts to drive away.

You lean your head back and close your eyes. You're starting to feel sick. "Embry.." You sniffle. Your chest bubbles up.

"Yes, baby?" He asks.

The nickname sent butterflies to your stomach. But that makes the vomit come up more. "I'm going to puke."

He stops the car on the side of the road. He gets out and pulls you out. He lifts your hair up out of your face.

"I don't want to puke in front of you." Right as you finish your sentence, it comes out. All over the side of the road.

Envry rubs your back softly. "It's okay, baby. Just let it out." He keeps a hold of your hair.

It finally stops, and you fall back, leaning against the car. "Embry, why do we hate each other?"

"I don't. I lied about it." He sits next to you.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." You say.

He blinks in shock. How could you have known that's why he hasn't let you in? He's always thought you hated him, and giving you two a try would make a possibility of getting hurt.

"Let's get home."

He takes you to your house where he knows you'd be more comfortable.

"Okay, uh, I've never had to do this before. Uhm, take a bath, I'll set up your room. I'll get you to bed." He guides you into the bathroom.

"I need clothes.'' You look at him.

"I'll.. go get some."

You walk into the bathroom and get the water running.

He's in your room going through your dresser. He grabs a pair of undies but doesn't look at them and quickly grabs a pair of shorts. He opens the next drawer and notices a familiar shirt. Did you take it from the camping trip? It's his..

You take off your jacket and let it fall to the floor. Embry walks in and places your clothes on the sink. He walks over to touch the water to be sure it's not too hot.

"I'll leave you to it." He says.

You watch him leave, and you get undressed. You take a bath while dizzy as shit. You get out and brush your teeth. You go into the room and see your bed is made. You have water and painkillers on the nightstand. Embry is on your bed.

"Come here." He says.

You sit next to him, and he grabs your hairbrush. He begins to brush through your hair, but you groan. "Mhm, I have a headache."

He stops and sets it back down. He lays you down onto the pillow and pulls a blanket over you.

When his arm swings next to you, you get a wiff of his scent. God it always gets you.

"You smell good." You mumble.

"Is that why you stole my shirt?" He rubs your hair.

"Mhm." You start to fall asleep.

----

You wake up, and he's not in there, but you remember how you made a fool out of yourself.

You get up and get dressed. It's a Sunday so the store is closed. A day off! YES! You decide to go out and treat yourself with a coffee. You go to the coffee shop nearby and then get in your car. You're not so sure what to do next. So.. you do something you may or may not regret. You call Embry.

"Hello?" He sounds like he just woke up. His voice is rough and you can hear a fan going in the background.

That's why he hasn't texted you?

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" You ask shyly. What has gotten into you?!

"No, babe. I'm happy you called. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just.. I wanted to apologize for last night. I embarrassed myself pretty badly." You sigh.

He chuckles. "No. We know how we feel now, and that's good."

You can't help but smile to yourself.

"Can we hang out today?" He asks.

"Yes." You were so quick to answer, which made you blush at yourself. Dummy.

"My house or yours?" He asks.

"Yours. I'm already on the roads. I'll be there."

The call ends, and you drive to Embry's house, excited to smell his perfect scent.

You pull in his driveway and see him sitting on his porch with a glass of tea. There's another one sitting on the small table in between the lawn chairs.

You get out and step on the porch. He stands up and wraps his arms around you. You wrap your arms around his neck. You've never hugged him. The feeling of his arms on you in a loving manner is insane. This hug lasts and your heart is going to burst.

"Want to talk?" He breaks the hug and sits in the chair.

"Yeah." You breathe out with a smile.

"What made you think those things about me? Am I truly immature to you?" He takes a sip of his drink.

"When we met at the shop, you were laughing with Quil. You talked about certain women saying how they were hot." You look at your lap. "And when I met you, you stared at me all crazy. And being around you, it was like I was hanging out with a bunch of teenage boys. By the looks of it, I assumed you were a player." You lay it out.

He starts smiling. "I'm a guy in a pack of wolves. I'm going to act up. But for you, I'll calm it down. I'm also a guy who's never been in a relationship."

You look at him in shock. "You're like.. smoking fucking hot dude. How?! Are you a virgin?!" You ask.

"Would it be embarrassing to say I am at the age of 23? Once I shifted, there was so much going on in our world. I had no time. It was the last thing I worried about. I was also waiting for the right person." He breathes out, staring through his yard. "I can't believe I admitted that." He chuckles.

The wet dream came to mind. Even that night when he had you pressed against the wall. Is it too early? No. No. He imprinted a year ago. You've slept in the same bed.. or.. cot?

"Do.. you want to change that?" You ask.

He slowly looks at you. "You mean? Now?" His face becomes red.

You nod your head. He stands up and grabs your hands softly, standing you up. He slowly backs away. You can tell he's nervous. He looks down at the ground.

He kisses you back instantly. It felt so natural. You pull away and look at him. Poor boy was awestruck.

He pulls you in for another kiss. It's rough. His tongue is sliding with yours. His hand is on the back of your head. You start walking backward into his house. He opens the door behind you and shuts it. You two manage to keep your lips moving together.

He guides you into his room and places you on the bed. He pulls away from your mouth and looks down at you. "Have you done this before?" He asks.

"Unfortunately." You reply.

"It's okay. I can do better."

----

You lay on your stomach beside a naked Embry. He's on his stomach, too, his head facing you. His fingers run along your spine.

Embry was a natural. It was the best. You came so many times. He went for a romantic type of sex. It was your first together, and he wanted to show you how he loves you.

"Baby." He whispers.

You're worn out from that amazing fuck. Your eyes are closed and you're ready to fall asleep. "Hmm?" You ask sweetly.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

[techramonic]

The Pinnacle of Self-Hatred: A Close-Reading on Elliot Rodger's Manifesto

“I named it the Day of Retribution. It would be a day in which I exact my ultimate retribution and revenge on all of the hedonistic scum who enjoyed lives of pleasure that they don’t deserve. If I can’t have it, I will destroy it. I will destroy all women because I can never have them. I will make them all suffer for rejecting me… And I will slaughter them like the animals they are.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 101)

On the Friday evening of May. 23, 2014, Elliot Rodger had perpetrated the Isla Vista Killings. A series of stabbings and shootings that claimed the lives of six people, injured fourteen, and concluded with his own death from a fatal self-inflicted gunshot wound on the head. Before this, Elliot was like any other normal teenager growing up.

As he mentioned in his own manifesto, he had a seemingly good childhood up until his parent’s divorce. Even until the separation, he still spent time with both sides of his family, maintaining the privilege to have access to many luxurious items such as a collection of designer clothes and even a BMW 328i. He traveled a lot, and at just the age of one, he had already traveled to France, Sussex, Malaysia (where his mother grew up), Spain, Greece, and California.

People on platforms such as Reddit often questioned why no one considered dating him at all. Elliot had also asked himself this question time and time again. In one of his youtube videos, entitled, “Why do girls hate me so much” he says:

“I’ve been attending college in Santa Barbara for two and a half years now, in those two and a half years I have experienced nothing but loneliness and misery, and my problem  is girls. There are so many beautiful girls here, but none of them give me a chance and I don’t know why. I don’t know why you girls are so repulsed by me.”

While it is easy to dismiss that Elliot solely acted upon his crime because he thought that girls were the problem, upon the surface where misogyny lies, there are layers upon layers of complexities that shaped his views. Elliot did not simply hate women and men who got with women he dreamed of, it was that ultimately, he hated himself—a hatred that manifested toward outward factors.

Elliot has exhibited a long string of stunted self-worth ever since he was a child, and while it is easy to throw around names like: monster and pure-evil; the fact remains: he is still considered a human amongst all those. One who is consumed by insecurity.

In understanding a crime, we must first examine the criminal and approach their case with empathy. Understanding the human aspect of these criminals does not however mean that one should excuse, dismiss, or condone their actions. Only understand the reasons behind their motivations. Here are some aspects I have noticed in his personality and life that may be able to better explain why.

MATERIALISM AND INSECURITY

In his manifesto entitled: “My Twisted World”, Elliot had confessed to having lived a good childhood. He was a nice kid who lived a nice life, up until his parent’s rocky divorce. While reading his manifesto, I have garnered his tendency to place his worth on materialistic things, moreso, his wealth. There were two instances of this on pages thirty to thirty-one of his manifesto. The first was when he was hesitant to invite his new friend from school over to his house because he was ashamed of his wealth:

“I was a bit hesitant to invite anyone from Pinecrest to my mother’s house, because it was located in Canoga Park, a bad area, and most of the kids at Pinecrest were upper-middle class who would look down on me for living there.”

On page thirty one of his manifesto, Elliot said that he was eager to receive an Xbox solely because many kids from his school wanted it:

“My mother bought me a brand new video game console, the Xbox. I heard a lot of kids talking about how great the Xbox was at school, so I was really eager to have one.”

This trait had continued on to his older years. In the same video where he questioned why girls disliked him so much, he stated:

“I do everything I can to appear attractive to you. I dress nice. I am sophisticated and magnificent. I have a nice car, a BMW.”

From this, it’s observable that Elliot tends to desire things just because other kids desire it too. This is rooted in his craving of validation and acceptance. This materialistic need for validation also transcended from mere objects to even his own appearance. Whenever he did not have what others had or wanted, he would be very ashamed of himself.

At the age of six, Elliot had moved to Topanga Elementary Charter School, a school based in California. The school has a thirty two per-cent minority rate, making seventy eight per-cent of the ethnicity population white. With the population being predominantly white, Elliot  had developed a view on the world that separates people by their differences: the “cool kids” and the “losers”. Mostly, Elliot described these cool kids as the higher-class, privileged, centered on attention, and white. 

“I realized, with some horror, that I wasn’t “cool” at all. I had a dorky hairstyle, I wore plain and uncool clothing, and I was shy and unpopular. I was always described as the shy boy in the past, but I never really thought my shyness would affect me in a negative way, until this point. This revelation about the world, and about myself, really decreased my self-esteem. On top of this was the feeling that I was different because I am of mixed race. I am half White, half Asian, and this made me different from the normal fully-white kids that I was trying to fit in with.”

He even dyed his hair blonde and tried to pick up on skateboarding because he thought it would make him appear more cool. On his manifesto he wrote:

“My first act was to ask my parents to allow me to bleach my hair blonde. I always envied and admired blonde-haired people, they always seemed so much more beautiful.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 17)

“I then started to notice that all of the cool kids were interested in skateboarding. I had never even ridden on a skateboard before, but if I wanted to be cool, I had to become a skateboarder.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 18)

This materialism had soon influenced his fixation on racial hierarchy. Elliot in his older years constantly demeaned and berated others of asian descent even if he was half-malaysian himself. To him, he considered whiteness as a prestige. On platforms such as reddit and facebook, he had made several negative comments regarding the appearance of some Asian men. 

A comment he had left on a reddit thread stated:

“Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you. You’re just butthurt that you were born an asian piece of shit, so you lash out by linking these fake pictures. You even admit that you wish you were half white. You’ll never be half-white and you’ll never fulfill your dream of marrying a white woman. I suggest you jump off a bridge.” 

The paragraph entails Elliot calling out a man for linking fake pictures of himself. Elliot speculates that the man had done this because he wished he was white, then he tells him how he was not considered as attractive because he was simply born Asian. Elliot was also very fixated on his looks, specifically his height. He had repeatedly mentioned his envy of other boys and even girls who were taller than him.

On page fifteen of his manifesto, he wrote:

“As Fourth Grade started, it fully dawned on me that I was the shortest kid in my class – even the girls were taller than me. In the past, I rarely gave a thought to it, but at this stage I became extremely annoyed at how everyone was taller than me, and how the tallest boys were automatically respected more. It instilled the first feelings of inferiority in me, and such feelings would only grow more volatile with time.”

In other instances, he also noted that he was bullied for being physically weak and short, and often he would blame this solely on his descent. He saw being mixed as a form of inferiority because this made him “undesirable”.  His image of attractiveness is measured by euro-centric features: fair-skinned, blonde, blue eyes, and tall. In many instances, he changed parts of himself to better fit the narrative of being “cool”.

To him, it’s all a part of growing up and fitting in, but what he failed to see is that the more he takes and changes parts of himself for people to like him, the more it just makes him hollow. Elliot’s childhood and teen years, best summed up, is a fixation on trying to keep up with those who are higher on the social status ladder and this continued to his later years. 

EARLY EXPOSURE TO PORNOGRAPHY AND SEXIST MEDIA 

Elliot was lonelier during his teen years, at 13 years old, he stopped having contact with his only friends because they started having their own separate lives together, making him spend more time alone by himself (Rodger, 2014, p. 38). This was when Elliot recounted his first-time exposure to pornography by catching a teenager watch it in an arcade called Planet Cyber.  He re-called it as a traumatizing experience, confused on why such an explicit thing would be considered as “love”. Despite this, his innocence was damaged by this accidental exposure. Though he did feel aroused, he was more guilty and confused.

“One time while I was alone at Planet Cyber, I saw an older teenager watching pornography. I saw in detail a video of a man having sex with a hot girl …  I didn’t know anything about sex at the time. I barely even knew what sex was. I was slowly starting to develop sexual feelings for hot girls, but I didn’t know what to do with them. To see this video really traumatized me. I had no idea what I was seeing… I couldn’t imagine human beings doing such things with each other. The sight was shocking, traumatizing, and arousing. All of these feelings mixed together took a great toll on me. I walked home and cried by myself  for a bit.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 38-39)

This was the pinnacle of Elliot’s misery. A kid who searched for validation with his looks, now searched for it in sexual gratification as well. He only found himself loved if people flocked over to him. Furthermore, he had this distorted mindset that his worth is only measured by how many girls he could get and how fast he'd lose his virginity. This can be akin to the stereotypical portrayals of boys in media that often influenced teens and their concept of self-worth: the "cool" guys having lots of girls, while nerds and "losers" have none.

With this type of thinking, he tried his best to gain things that he thought women would like, yet he did little to no effort to actually get to know them and socialize. He believed that just because he had what others wanted or did not, people would love him. According to his friends, they thought he was almost always one-sided, expecting women to just swoon over him because he has things that are desirable.

ENTITLEMENT

Furthermore, despite his initial pleasant middle school years at Pinecrest High, such as dancing with a girl during a school dance (Rodger, 2014, p. 29), socializing eventually became difficult for Elliot. Often, this is because of  his appearance, where he experienced bullying because of his height. According to his friends, he barely talked to women but still complained no woman wanted to talk to him. 

Elliot was easily persuaded and subjected to peer-pressure because he had no clear identity. He always followed what was the trend because it made him feel less insecure about himself, since it was what he thought the people accepted and desired.

Despite his insecurities, Elliot had a fine record for being privileged, which he used to his advantage to "fix" certain qualities in himself that he deemed undesirable. Ever since he was younger, he often used his wealth to modify certain aspects of himself, even the smallest things: dyeing his hair blonde, purchasing designer clothes to appear more attractive and rich, purchasing mass amounts of body-building pills, and only picking up hobbies such as skateboarding and basketball solely because he found them useful in climbing up the social ladder.

Elliot also had a strong dislike for people who did not support his motivations. He expressed a strong resentment toward is step-mother, Soumaya, because of her assertive nature. He considered his dad to be “weak” for following her orders around, when in truth, she was only trying to teach Elliot a lesson about independence. 

“Not only did she kick me out of father’s house, but she forbade me to go there even for a short visit. And still, father didn’t do anything about it. Father kept saying that the house is her house as much as his, and that she has the right to kick me out. No! I am the eldest son! The house should be MY house before hers! This caused any respect I still had for my father to fade away completely. It was such a betrayal, to put his second wife before his eldest son. What kind of father would do that? The bitch must be really good to him in bed, I figured. What a weak man.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 62)

At his step-mother’s insistence, Elliot began looking for a job and eventually found work from a family friend who offered him a job for a house construction project. He felt more comfortable with it, seeing the job as helping rather than typical employment. After getting his driver’s license, Elliot enrolled in summer classes at Moorpark College but struggled with attendance, again, due to his jealousy of campus couples.

He dropped out midway through, briefly worked as a janitor at an airport office, and quit after one day. Knowing his mother would be upset, he re-enrolled at Moorpark but eventually dropped out again (Rodger, 2014, p. 70). Upon learning of Elliot’s decision to drop out again, his parents decided he would move to Santa Barbara, where he would live alone in an apartment paid for by his mother, receive a $500 monthly allowance from his father, and enroll in classes at Santa Barbara Community College (Rodger, 2014, p. 77). 

CONCLUSION

Elliot is very persistent on the idea that to be accepted, he needed to be loved, when in truth, he couldn't bear to accept himself. No one has absolutely any obligation to love someone because the other sees it as a form of validation. Self-worth comes from yourself, not from others. Due to Elliot’s constant fixation on trying to be accepted, he lost the identity that made him authentic and genuine. He lost what other people could not give him: self-worth.

Concluding, Elliot Rodger is a complex individual that cannot be summed up to one set character. He is not solely “pure evil”, he is a person with a background that influenced his decisions. He is not less deserving of humanity or empathy because just like others, he had also felt humane emotions. With criminals, it is always important to remember that to understand a certain event or phenomena of crime, we also have to understand not just the perpetrator that the media portrays, which is often easily pushed into a oversimplified narrative of “pure evil”; we must also consider the genuine person behind the crime. 

While it is important to recognize that these are profoundly disturbed individuals who must be held accountable for their actions, it is also crucial to understand that despite their crimes, they still remain human. Although, this does not mean that his background excuses or condones his actions. It only provides a framework to comprehensively understand both the case and the criminal behind it. 

[demontonic]

Hayden Christensen - The first time

H.C x actor reader

In which you try to avoid him during training but it’s useless when Ewan puts you up against each other in a friendly match.

Word Count: 2099 words (que spiderman theme song. IM NOT JOKING THIS IS THE ACTUALLY COUNT)

You were new to the industry, you had only been in two movies thus far. The first one wasn’t big, it was just an indie film that horror movie nerds happened to like. From there you got picked for an audition for a bigger movie that would be put in a few theaters. However here, now, you’d never really expected such a huge change, you weren’t going to be playing a huge part. It was a flashback for the upcoming series Ahsoka, you were going to be a Jedi for a short time. They were doing another scene for order 66 in which Anakin goes against someone whom he’d become acquainted with during training. A battle was to be choreographed which meant you were going to be up against the actor who had single handedly started your acting career.

You were a huge Star Wars fan and without a doubt one of the kids who had lightsabers and a few Clone Wars coloring books. As you got older you looked into Anakin’s actor Hayden Christensen and grew to love the movies he’d done. Of course you thought he was hot, who wouldn’t love the nerd in Shattered Glass, or the punk in Life as a House? Sure he’s older now but that didn’t stop you from absolutely freezing up the second you walked into the training area. He’s significantly taller than you, that much you already knew but now it made you feel even more anxious. Interviews of him (which you of course obsessed over in your younger years) depicted him to be very nice, but you can’t always judge someone based on their interviews.

“Oh my god,” you whispered to yourself as you placed your hand to your cheek.

“Are you okay?” The trainer had questioned, a slight concern showing on her face. Hayden had also looked to you, the thin lightsaber prop swinging effortlessly to his side as he awaited your answer.

“Uh- Sorry I just got a… um- a headache is all.” You lied while your hands gripped onto the prop like it was the only thing grounding you.

“I have tylenol in my bag, or some water if you want?” Hayden’s hands gesture over to the black backpack that was leaned against the wall next to yours. Your throat ran dry as you opened your mouth to speak, before choking on your words and coughing… quite literally choking on your words.

“Yeah, the water should be fine.” Hayden walked over to his bag before pulling out two bottles and handing one to you. He stood there however as you took a small sip and placed it back down.

“Nervous?” He snickered lowly while he waited for you to collect yourself.

“Pfft… can you tell?” You questioned softly, looking up at his sparkling blue eyes. My god you’d dreamed about meeting him for practically half your life, but all you did was fumble. The casting crew never really gave you a lot of information, just that it was for upcoming Star Wars content and that they’d needed to fill a small jedi role. Nothing could’ve mentally prepared you to meet your living, breathing, wet dream.

“It’s just training right now, so there’s really no need to stress, we can all help you learn everything you’ll need to know.” His voice was so calm and endearing, maybe it was the daddy issues talking or the fact he is a dad, but it was so comforting.

Even three months into your training you’d distanced from Hayden as to not make a complete fool of yourself. He’s almost 40 at this point with a child you’d assume he was tired of the wild fans. Even so during training you’d often slip up while your eyes were trained on his swift movements. Sometimes you guys would get together and have little matches to see who could win. It was a random pick or whoever decided to challenge someone, and it was no different today. Everyone had finished training but the energy had been so vibrant that here you were on the cushioned floor in a circle. At this point it was no secret your character and Anakin were to have a final battle, but you had never gone against each other in these matches.

“Okay before we start, would anyone like to call someone out?” Rosario Dawson, Hayden’s childhood friend who’d been training for a separate project, questioned the small group.

“This isn’t a call out but I’d actually like to see Hayden vs Y/N without their choreography.” Ewan suggested while sitting on the blue mat cross legged, a childlike smile on his face. On one hand you were a shell of a human around Hayden, but with Ewan it was like he was your favorite uncle. Had you at some point in time found him incomprehensibly attractive? Yeah, but he’s the kind of nice that makes you feel like you’ve known him your entire life.

“Oh come on, is that even fair?” You whined, alluding to the obvious experience points he had on you.

“Are you calling me old?” Hayden jokes lightly as he steps forward into the circle, the group collectively letting out a low ‘oooooooh’.

“I mean your character is the chosen one, I don’t know if my three months of training can compare.” In all honesty you had tried your hand occasionally at a lightsaber when you were younger, so you had a little bit more experience than you let on. The amount of times you’d watched the behind the scenes,their practicing and training helped you recognize his moves.

“I’ll go easy on you, how about that?” His arms were outstretched to his sides in a shrug. A smirk was playing on his lips as he stared at you expectantly.

“Easy? Okay Christensen I’ll fight you.” Competitive couldn’t even begin to describe the drive that suddenly pumped through your veins. The way his eyes zeroed in on you, and the familiar smirk you had only dreamed of seeing in person made your adrenaline kick in. All the information you’d ever retained while watching those extras, would finally be useful for more than proving a point in a dumb argument online.

“Let’s not forget who’s had more training.” Hayden said with a scoff as you both got into your beginning stances. Yours mimicking the form Obi-Wan took while fighting Grievous, Ewan didn’t miss it, how could he? He simply stood with his left foot pointing towards you, his right braced for a sprint, and his saber behind him ready for a strike. You were reading him like a billboard, he never strayed from the forms he was taught, but you were a fan with too much time so you had a few of your own moves.

“May the force be with you Master Skywalker.” You said before he charged, you dodged the first strike but he had already begun to recover from the miss. A huff came from his chest as he swung the flimsy pole back down, meeting yours with a loud clash. The group let out sounds of shock and excitement as he pushed you down to one knee, he was stronger than you. It was no secret as height wise he’s an entire foot taller than you, so you quickly rolled from your position in front of him. He stumbled forward slightly, then twisted around to meet your blows. One to the head, down to the legs, up to the arm, then back down to his torso since it would be an awkward position for him to hold. You were both fast, you’d spent so much time learning basic defense in case one of you made a mistake it was too easy. Stamina was probably the only way you’d win this, or so you thought.

“You’ve learned well, young one,” he tripped you up, while you were focused on his words he’d hit you with the same move Anakin used on count Dooku. “although you’re too focused on me,” your ‘saber’ swung upward to slash his torso, but with a small step back, he dropped the pole to his open palm.

“And not my hands.”

“Fuck.”

The cool, thin, dented metal was up against the side of your neck as your arms were still tilted up in your last strike. Heavy breaths left the both of you as your small ‘audience’ went silent. The sound of your pole hitting the mat, signaled your defeat and in true style you dropped to the floor. The room erupted with groans and yells of victory from those who bet on Hayden. A few seconds of lying on the floor Hayden walked over, standing above you holding out his hand.

“Come on loser.” His smile was so genuine it made your face blush softly as you rolled onto your back.

“I can’t, I’m dead, rigor mortis.” You mumble, letting your tongue hang out the side of your mouth. You felt two arms scoot under your back and knees, quickly feeling your body lifted into the air. A scream came out of your throat as your hand quickly gripped onto Hayden’s loose shirt. The group laughed as he basically tossed you up and down, pretending like he was going to drop you.

“I don’t know why you’re screaming! Dead people don’t scream!”

“Oh- OH MY- PLEASE! GOD PLEASE! OBI WAN PLEASE!” He’d even managed to flip you on your stomach, your fingertips almost meeting the ground before he flung you back up again. Sure it wasn’t a crazt high distance from his arms, but add that with his height it was terrifying enough.

“So uncivilized!” Ewan mocked in a bad Obi-Wan voice, Hayden finally held you against his chest as he laughed with the rest of the group. Ewan came over with Rosario, both of them cooing softly at your semi panicked state.

“Put the poor girl down already!”

“She’s as red as a tomato Hayden!”

He let you down to your feet, still holding onto you as you stumbled lightly. Your chest heaved as you rested your hands on your knees, completely oblivious to how you practically pushed against Hayden’s crotch. His hand came down to rest on your lower back, rubbing softly while you regained your breath.

“I’m-… I’ll kill you for that one day Christensen.” You said through heavy breaths before standing straight again. Hayden’s hand coming up to rest on your shoulder, sporting a smug smile as the group began to discuss the next match. Hayden pulled you off the far walls where your bags lay, you both sitting in front of each other while he pulled out water bottles. For a while you sat in silence, just leaning against the wall watching Rosario and Ewan go at it.

“Were you ever going to tell me about your tattoo?” Hayden questioned, his voice staying low in contrast with the yelling from the group. At first you almost didn’t know what he was talking about, but then your cheeks turned to a dark red. On your wrist was the japor snippet Anakin gave Padme when they first met, and under it read ‘Skywalker’ in Huttese. Usually it was covered by a scrunchie or bracelet, but it must’ve slipped your mind today.

“I wasn’t planning on it, it feels too embarrassing to show you.” You held your arm out to him, since he’d already seen it there was no use in hiding it now. His hand pulled your wrist closer as he traced it with his fingers.

“I always wanted to get a replica of the japor snippet but I never did. I think this is really cool Y/N, you don’t need to be so nervous around me all the time.” He said quietly as he set your arm down on your thigh. Hayden was nice, but you were feral, you still couldn’t grasp the fact you avoided him like a schoolgirl avoided her crush.

“I-… I am not! The job is just so… overwhelming you know?” Lies, you shook as bad as a chihuahua when you were alone with him, practicing lines, fighting, and in general.

“It’s been three months and you still get distracted by just staring at me mid-fight.” A chuckle resonated in his chest as you looked at your blushing face.

“Okay… I just didn’t want to look like some nerdy, obsessed fangirl, I didn’t know how well that would go over.” Holding the cool bottle against your face you let your hair shield your face from the older man.

“I think it’s cute.”

And for the first time, you felt like maybe the star would align, maybe you would have a chance with the man you’d worshipped during your teen years.

I need to be his controversially young girlfriend HIS BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY AFTER MINE idk i think its a sign or whatever🤞🏼 hope you liked this! feel free to make any requests! i might make a part two but idk yet

Masterlist

[fairykazu]

sweet to dream with kaeya prompt: red rose - falling head over heels in love petunia - realizing their feelings content: set in canon, teens, mutual pining, lazy ending :( (kaeya) ( requested by @kukikoooo ) event masterlist 𝜗𝜚 genshin masterlist

kaeya

the strongest memory that lingered in kaeya’s mind was when he caught feelings for you. though, by now everyone knows since it’s his favorite story to retell when he’s drunkenly babbling everyone in angel’s share ears off.

he was dumb and you were dumber. you protest otherwise. it’s okay to be in denial. 

in the outskirts of the city, he was knee-deep in a field of windwheel asters begrudgingly. "why did you pick the hottest day of the year to do this?" kaeya grumbled, sweat beading his forehead as he trudged through the asters’ field. 

the air was humid, carrying the faint scent of earth and the distant sweetness of blooming flowers. his boots crunched through the meadow, each step releasing a subtle scent of earthy grass. the midsummer sun blazed down upon him, turning the once vibrant greenery into a dreary sea of orange and terracotta. 

name was just right ahead of him. they were like a little rabbit, hopping throughout the fields. they were picking the "best" flowers one by one, filling up their weaved basket to the brim. while his was barely to the amount compared to theirs or at least, in his standards, he was also picking the best ones.

maybe he was the winner here because his flowers were picked with the utmost delicacy.

"well, the flowers are at their best today. besides, i heard that eula managed to get wind-caressed asters for amber! …" name replied with a bashful grin, their eyes sparkling with excitement. kaeya quirked a brow while they trailed off. "ahem, besides, I want everything to be perfect for the windblume festival."

kaeya chuckled at name's enthusiasm, a hint of mischief dancing in his own eyes. "You and your flower obsession" he teased, poking at name's arm playfully. the two of them had known each other since they were kids. they were like two peas in a pod, sticking together while their friendship had endured countless adventures in mondstadt. "but i guess, it's a good thing, it keeps you from burning down the city with your cooking."

they gasped, nearly dropping their basket on the ground. one thing about name, other than the terrible cooking skills, is that they have the flair for the dramatics. they draped one hand over their face, “but you said you loved my rendition of mint jelly and that everyone in dawn winery liked it too!” 

kaeya’s breath exhaled a laugh, trying to disguise it as cough, as he picked another aster into his basket. “ahaha… i lied.” 

“it was really hard, kaeya.” they whined in response, picking up the basket and continuing on to a different patch of asters. they rested on a nearby tree, sitting down. name pointed their finger at him, “everyone ate it too!” 

kaeya’s eyes grew wide, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards. he leaned against the oak tree, trying to keep his laughter at bay. "no, they didn’t.” he put down their accusing finger down as if it was a weapon pointing at him.

the both of them sat in silence for a moment, the only sound being the gentle rustle of the leaves above them. name paused, pointing another finger at kaeya as he let out a laugh. they poked him in the shoulder, “yes, they did. even adelinde praised me!” 

“i ate them all.” 

“what?” 

kaeya went on a tangent about how even diluc didn’t like the mint jelly even though the redhead convinced you then that you were a baking prodigy. name recalled the moment when they caught kaeya stealing elzer’s jelly, insisting it was the best jelly he’d ever had. but in reality, he was just saving people’s taste buds and their pride. 

“was it really that bad?”  

“not the worst, ive tasted. it was kind of toothpasty.” 

“fine, fine. how many flowers did you collect for the festival?” they dismissed the situation, maybe to shield their own pride. kaeya tried to read their face but it’s clear name wanted to move on from this topic. the eyepatched boy handed them his basket of flowers that were supposedly in the best condition. they brought the basket to their lap, digging their face into the flowers, checking if they’re “perfect” enough. 

 “i got a couple… wait, why did you even want to do this again?” 

they repeated the same reason as before, added, “just want the perfect windblume festival with my favorite pers…”  they looked up from the basket, meeting eye contact with kaeya’s periwinkle eye. but then they paused, swallowing the words. it felt like eternity or at least, the representation of seeing a text bubble appear and disappear in person, in real life. “people. y’know, rosaria, jean, lisa and you…!” 

maybe, kaeya is naive but is he picking up what they’re putting down. “i like you…”  he watched their expression carefully.

they furrowed their brows before realizing what he just said. kaeya watched name mariante what he said on their shoulders before they freaked out a little. well, a little is a stretch. they shrieked, threw hte basket up before frantically catching the basket and landed on their side. “wait, really?” 

“yes.” 

“really?” 

“yes.” 

[1spy]

1988 | Guns N' Roses - "Patience"

I was riding my bike with a friend back in middle school, and he started singing this song that sounded really cool. The kids now would call it a meme song, where there's just one catchy bit that gets memorized and transmitted instantly to seemingly every kid you know. All I know is we were riding our bikes around and singing this song at the top of our lungs like kids did back then:

Take me down to the paradise city / Where the grass is green and girls are pretty / Oh won't you please take me home

It was so dumb and fun. And I had not, at the time, even seen the video for "Paradise City." In fact, the first video I remember seeing from Guns N' Roses was their mega-popular acoustic ballad "Patience."

It's not the most representative song in their catalog. GNR's debut album, Appetite for Destruction, had come out in 1987 and was full of heavy, uncompromisingly sleazy hard rock bangers that made other LA hair metal bands sound tame and fake in comparison. The album painted a portrait of a Hollywood underworld where sex and drugs are traded for access and opportunity, but where the American dream is most likely to end in an overdose. All of which seemed pretty far away from my life in suburban Spring, Texas.

But Patience was a perfect entry point for me, a kid whose favorite band was—at the time—the Eagles. The gentle acoustic ballad opens with Axl whistling, which may have been a savvy bid for pop relevance only one year after Bobby McFerrin's huge #1 hit "Don't Worry Be Happy" also included prominent whistling. Patience got all the way to number four.

I wasn't the only one connecting GNR to the Eagles. Hotel California and Appetite for Destruction have similar themes involving sex, excess, and corruption in a drug-soaked Hollywood. Axl had performed backing vocals on Don Henley's album, End of the Innocence. And Henley played drums and sang backup when Guns N' Roses played "Patience" on the 1989 American Music Awards.

It took two years for it to happen, but the singles for "Welcome to the Jungle," "Paradise City," "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Patience" eventually made the band ubiquitous. And Axl was constantly in the news for being a terrible human: starting shows late, nearly starting riots at his own shows, saying racist, misogynistic, and homophobic shit, and otherwise being a huge asshole.

At the time none of that mattered to me. What mattered was the way I felt when I pressed play on the CD. It was exhilarating every every single time. It still is. Appetite for Destruction is the best selling debut album of all time because it has no skips. It's an incredible hard rock album front to back, full of songs that are musical, surprising, funny, sophisticated, angry, and—more than anything else—convincing. It was hard to listen to Appetite and then put on Warrant, Poison or Motley Crue. Nirvana killed all those bands, but GNR put them on notice.

"Patience" wasn't on Appetite. It was on a follow-up collection of two EPs called GN'R Lies. The GNR half was old live performances from 1986 ("Move to the City" was my fave). The "Lies" half was a set of four acoustic originals whose popularity may have inspired MTV Unplugged:

"Patience"- the second song I ever learned to play on guitar all the way through.

"Used to Love Her" - A jokey song about killing your girlfriend and burying her in the back yard.

"You're Crazy" - Better, bluesier, and somehow darker than the version on Appetite.

"One in a Million" - The song whose lyrics included racist, anti-immigrant, and homophobic slurs, but also functioned as an Axl Rose origin story.

Even when I was a kid listening, the lyrics to "One in a Million" bugged me because Axl's lyrics on the song weren't just hateful, they were the worst lyrics he had recorded. It was a missed opportunity, because it's probably the best song on this record. It was his best vocal performance, it had the best solo, and Axl whistles over the opening again with an even better melody. It sucks because he ruined the song with half-assed, bigoted lyrics.

None of this is to provide an apologia for GNR (or for me). They were my favorite band until my senior year of high school. They were the reason my first guitar was a Gibson Les Paul like Slash played. And I dove DEEP into both Use Your Illusion records when they came out (I could write three or four more posts about UYI I & II).

But once Izzy Stradlin' left the band, I knew they were never going to make another record as good as Appetite. The best songs off Use Your Illusion are the Izzy songs. The coolest guy in that band was Izzy. And the best post-Appetite record by anyone in the band is Izzy's solo record with the Ju Ju Hounds.

I went to see Guns N' Roses in 1992 with Soundgarden opening. And I'm glad I did. But Izzy wasn't there, and I felt his absence. Basically, it feels like I left GNR when Izzy did.

But if he ever rejoins the band, I might see them again.

Fave lyrics (for someone who loved walking the tough suburban streets of Cypresswood at night):

I've been walking the streets at night Just trying to get it right It's hard to see with so many around You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd And the streets don't change but maybe the names...

[grassyhorizon45]

Help. - Pt 2

part 1 || part 2 || part 3

uhh my bad... looks like it really is gonna be longer than I thought. It'll be worth it I promise! I fought through writers block for this forgive me

Marauders × DiD!Reader who's slowly but surely developing it and starts experiencing symptoms :l

Warnings: A bit more yelling? and a bit of angst.

Words: 1115

James's quidditch match the next day had the whole school in high spirits. Rumour from Hufflepuff was that a new quidditch captain had been instated; and knowing James, he was definitely gonna have a pre-match panic attack in the changing room while the rest of Gryffindor prepared for the after-party.

Y/n and Remus made their way to the Gryffindor changing room about an hour or two before the match. 

Sirius and James were there already, sitting side-by-side as the latter vented. Sirius put a hand around James, offering support. 

“And then Murphy decided to sprain his ankle yesterday! Now we’re one frickin’ beater short…”

James caught sight of the two that just entered, going quiet.

Y/n’s expression softened, “Can’t Siri replace him?”

His tone was quieter now. “Even then, we don’t know what Hufflepuff has up their sleeves with that new captain of theirs… New captain means new plays and- and—”

Remus went to sit next to Sirius while Y/n sat next to James, leaning on him.

“You’ll be fine, love.” Y/n sighed, “Stop panicking.”

They spent the last few moments of ‘quiet’ together there on that bench. Y/n and Remus leaving only after the Gryffindor team had filled the once-private space.

The three knew their support pre and post match meant the world to James. He was the kind that needed attention, love and affection to grip onto mental stability. Somehow, it was just one of the things that made James…well, James, and Y/n loved him for showing that level of vulnerability. 

“Do you think James and Siri will win today?” she asked Remus as they walked to the stands.

“They’ll be fine with whatever the outcome is. Don’t worry,” Remus smiled.

Y/n nodded, “A happy James is better than a swear-y one though…”

Remus gave her a pat on the head, agreeing.

The rest of the Morning was a blur after that. Y/n hardly remembered the outcome of the quidditch match. It was all a fog, hazy in her brain. So much so that she convinced herself the morning events were all really just a dream……

There was a sharp ringing in her ear when she ‘woke up’.

Accept, Y/n wasn’t lying down… Nor was she in either her or the boys’ room.

“Bunny, what’s wrong?”

Y/n came to the realisation that someone’s hand was supporting her waist. She shifted a little, making Sirius’ hand fall to the side.

“A-Aren’t you and Jamie playing in the quidditch match today?” She mumbled, observing her surroundings as she did. “Wh-Why are we in the common room eating the food for the after-party?”

Sirius froze, catching James (who was chatting with someone across from where Y/n and Sirius stood)’s attention. He excused himself and walked towards them.

“Pads?”

The taller boy ran a hand through the other’s black curls.

“Sh-She thinks the match hasn’t started…”

“Huh?” This sparked James’ intrigue too. “We won the match, love… You and Moony came to see us before it started, remember?”

Y/n nodded slowly, “I th-think so. I thought it was a dream…”

The boys exchanged worried glances.

“You don’t remember the match at all?” Sirius asked.

Did she?

“M-Maybe I just f-forgot,” Y/n lied.

“Capt- Can I borrow you for a second?” someone interrupted.

“I-” James hesitated. “Okay… Pads, Moon will wanna hear about this.”

Sirius nodded at James before he left. 

“I-It’s not a big deal,” Y/n mumbled, faking a collected smile. “You can just… tell me about the match instead.”

“It’s not about the match, bunny,” Sirius put an arm around her, giving her a slight squeeze. “This kind of memory loss isn’t normal…”

Which brought her back to their earlier discovery. What if Remus’ previous assumptions were right? What if she did have Dissociative Identity Disorder?

Y/n excused herself from Sirius’ company, making her way to the library once again in hopes she’d find something useful. There was this sinking feeling in her heart that if she properly had this ‘multiple-personality disorder’, things would change.

Y/n got tired of the big terms after a while. Her brain felt like shutting off and she couldn’t think straight. Sleeping in the library wasn’t soooooooo bad was it?

~

“You can’t just d-drop that on me l-like that–!”

“How d-did I get here……” 

Y/n was obviously not in the library, instead she was in the boys’ room facing a near-to-tears James. 

“Jamie… You okay?”

James flinched away at her touch, storming out of the room as he tried to get a grip on his emotions.

“Wh-What the—”

The door opened again with urgency, making Y/n jump.

“I want to know why,” Sirius demanded as he stood by the open door comforting a now crying James.

“Wh-Why?” She was so confused.

Sirius’ eyes narrowed. 

“You really want me to spell it out for you?”

The bitterness in his voice was clear as day, giving Y/n the chills. 

She nodded to his ‘question’, genuinely stating, “I d-don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Sirius seemed pissed… Pissed that Y/n was ‘faking innocence’, pissed that Y/n of all people had made James cry—

“I want to know why you want to break up!”

Wait—

“I do?”

The two boys looked at her with quizzical looks.

“I-I didn’t say that…” Y/n’s heart was pounding, so loud that she could hear it in her ears.

“B-But you d-did,” James mumbled from behind Sirius.

“I only r-remember f-falling asleep in the library… A-And then waking up here.”

Sirius gulped, “We need to get you checked love; you’re scaring us.”

Y/n tensed up, “I don’t wanna see a doctor…”

James was still shaken to the core, scared of the possible end of their relationship. She noticed this…

“Oh Jamie,” Y/n went over to give him a hug. Seeing James in such a shaken state was rare. 

According to the books she’d read, Y/n suspected she wasn’t in control of her own body when…well—

As she comforted James and whispered sweet things in his ear, Sirius stood hovering by the door, deep in thought with a frown on his face.

Y/n felt guilty. Sure she wasn’t conscious when it happened but it was still her that hurt James, their Y/n that told him they should break up.

Remus came back from his prefects’ rounds to find Y/n and James cuddled up cosily, fast asleep together on James’ bed. Sirius was admiring the sight, smiling thoughtfully.

“Come here Moony…” He patted the spot next to him.

Remus smiled too, “Did I miss anything?”

“Quite a bit actually… I’ll fill you in.”

[deuces-sunglasses]

Zosan Au- Pearl Divers

(Request from @sampaisleyriot, I strayed from your idea a little bit sorry 😭)

• The Going Merry crew consisted of Luffy- the Captain, Nami- the navigator and Usopp- the mechanist and “protector”.

• Luffy had also found two pearl divers, named Zoro and Sanji. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to get along much.

• “I want to offer one of you a six month contract. So, you’ll have to compete to show me which one of you I should choose.” Hearing this, they both eyed up their opposition, scoffed and agreed to the challenge.

• Sanji flirts with Nami as she steers them across the ocean. Zoro rolls his eyes and settles into a nap despite the noisy engine.

• Luffy soon calls for the anchor to be set down as he peers off the edge of the bow, which had a strange goat head on it.

• As Sanji gets into his white diving costume, Zoro opts only for a tiny pair of shorts which causes the blond’s breath to be caught in his throat.

• “You ready to watch a professional, cook?” Zoro taunts as he pulls on his leather finger guards and slides on his nose clip.

• Sanji cackles at his voice change due to the nose clip and replies, “We’ll see whether you’ve got any brains under that moss.”

• Usopp lets out a cough and hands them their rope baskets for collecting oysters and stone weights for bringing them to the sea bed.

• Then they both dive in and their competitive nature grows. Zoro’s advantage lies in his upper body strength, while Sanji’s toned legs make him glide quickly through the water.

• Despite the opportunity at stake, they aren’t stupid and regularly check that the other hasn't somehow drowned.

• On one of his trips to the surface, Sanji spots Usopp fishing on the port side. He’s about to offer to make Nami a refreshing drink when Luffy yells affectionately-

• “Sanji! Get back to work!”

• They take a couple of longer breaks, where they enjoy dates and coffee. Sanji smacks Zoro’s hand away from the Saké in the cooler.

• Zoro likes how the saltwater makes Sanji’s hair frizzy and curly.

• As the sun goes down, they both shuck their own oysters and let Nami count them. Zoro cuts the fish caught by Usopp for Sanji to cook. Luffy happily chatters.

• “Even! You got an equally small amount of pearls, but at least we can keep the meat to eat,” proclaims Nami.

• “Nami-Swan, how would you like a pearl necklace? I think-“

• “Luffy, you don’t want a pervert on your crew do you? You should just make your decision now.” Zoro fires out.

• “I am simply appreciating her beauty. You don’t get to insult me while you’re happily eating my cooking!” Sanji retorts.

• Over the next couple of days, they continue this routine. The crew becomes increasingly close and comfortable with each other.

• Sanji comments how Zoro’s body is exposed to stingrays and Zoro replies that he doesn’t need to worry about his body.

• When Luffy accidentally falls into the ocean, Sanji jumps in and saves him.

• At one point, they both spot the same oyster. Glancing over to one another, they make angry eye contact and immediately race towards it.

• Zoro reaches it first and swoops it up, only for Sanji to kick him and take it from his basket. The mosshead wraps his arms around his waist and drags him down. Sanji kicks free and swims to the surface, with Zoro’s hand on his oyster.

• They gasp for air as Nami reprimands them for their stupid antics. In the evening, they discover that the oyster was pearl-less anyway.

• When it’s finally time for Luffy to sign one of them on, both are on edge. This contract is a dream come true.

• “I won’t make you wait any longer. I’m signing you both on! Welcome to the Straw hat crew!”

• Zoro’s eyebrows rise and Sanji’s furrow.

• “We’re not actually calling ourselves that, are we?” says Nami.

• “Alright! I won’t ever actually have to go pearl diving then? Because I might have slightly lied when I was listing my skills.” Usopp scratches the back of his neck with a grin.

• “Guess you’re stuck with me, Marimo.” Sanji sings as he shakes Luffy’s hand.

• “I’ll pick up the slack whenever your little arms get tired, bastard.” Zoro gets an immediate kick to the face.

• A few months later, after they get together, they definitely try an underwater kiss and it is awful.

• Zoro gives Sanji pearl cufflinks as a gift at some point.

[alpaca-clouds]

Understanding Individualism vs Collectivism

Making that post about individualism and capitalism yesterday, I got some questions, that showed me the same problem as the person I was talking about had: A lot of people do actually not know what individualism and collectivism mean. So, let me try to explain.

I had kinda hoped that Abigail from Philosophy Tube might have made a video on this, but no such luck. So, I guess I have to try and explain it, even though I mostly know it from sociology, rather from the philosophic origins where it comes from.

Basically, both concepts originate with socialist philosophy in the early 19th century, which correctly identified the early capitalist society as individualist and saw the dangers coming with it. It argued that an individualist society will be harmful on a societal level, because the society at large would always focus on the self, rather than the other. Capitalist philosophy however picked this up was like: “Yeah, awesome, right?” And especially in the 20th century they really started to run with it, realizing that they could use it to make people into better consumers.

Now, individualism does not mean “a sense of self”. This is not connected to it. You will still have a sense of self in a collectivist society and nobody says that you shouldn’t have. Rather it means that the focus of everyone should be on the individual. Both themselves – but also the individual actors in society. It is as such not a surprise that the idea of “Great Man Theory” came up and started to thrive during early capitalism in the 19th century.

So, if individualism does not mean “a sense of self”, what does it mean?

I would argue there are two aspects to it. Once the aforementioned tendency to put the individual above the society and apart from it, but also to create and sell a personal philosophy that people are defined by their differences from others, rather than what they have in common. It tells people that they are all so very different from everyone else, which is a useful political tool for capitalism to fight collective actions such as unions, but also collective action for things like environmental protection. In the same vein it is used to keep people riled up against one another within society, as they focus on their differences, rather than what they have in common.

The most anarchistic professor I had at university put it very well: “If you as a worker talk to a factory worker from Bangladesh, you will find you have a lot in common. In fact you will always have more in common with this other worker rather than any billionaire there is.”

Which brings me to the other aspect that individualism is about: It sells you an individualistic dream. Which is why capitalism focuses so much on those rags to riches stories (that tend to be lies most of the time). “See, this millionaire started out his business in daddy’s garage. So you can also become a billionaire if you have the right idea.” Fellow leftist might know the saying: “You are just one bad day away from homelessness, but you will never be a billionaire.” Which is basically the counter argument to this.

See, capitalism tries to convince you, that “I am the better system, because in me you could become a billionaire,” to sell you not only on your own exploitation, but the exploitation of the masses.

And more than that, capitalism also has realized that it can use individualism to make you a better consumer. I alluded to this a bit further up. But the long and short of it is, that capitalism pushes this idea of “you are, what you consume”. Your individuality is defined by the things you spent money on. Maybe by you having the most expensive things, but also by you having maybe the weirdest things or something. You know, the “not like the other girls” girl will probably spend as much, if not more on the things that make her special, as “the other girls”.

This also goes into the whole idea of greenwashing, pinkwashing and rainbow capitalism. All this is about getting you to consume something to gain some sort of individual aspect from it. Basically, through buying the “green” stuff, you are a better consumer.

Ironically this also goes into the entire anti-shipping discourse, which basically also says that your goodness as a person is defined by the things you consume.

Capitalism is selling you your identity. Your individual identity.

But sadly this is an idea very, very deeply engrained into the heads of most who have grown up in capitalism. Because it is everywhere in media. Sure, there is some media that calls it out, but most of it actually peddles the idea of the individual.

Because this is the second aspect at the core of individualism: The myths that only individuals can change something, rather than a collective. Which is what I call out so often when I am talking about the entire punk-genre stuff.

Even though it is less punk, let me take Star Wars as an example, because it is an amazing example of this. Especially the original trilogy, in which the Rebellion battles the Empire. However, the evil Empire is not defeated because the Rebellion manages to somehow outwit or outmaneuvre the Empire. Or because maybe the collective of the workers in the Empire turn against it. Rather it gets defeated because Luke, the individual, turns Darth Vater, an individual, and defeats the Emperor, the individual. Which goes back to this idea of the “great man”. It is those unique individuals who will save the world, rather than collective action.

This idea of some individuals being the ones to save the world, rather than we – the people – as a group and ourselves, is used to keep the people pacified under capitalism. They are waiting for “a good billionaire” to solve climate change, homelessness and all the other problems for us, rather than getting active themselves. They keep telling themselves: “Hey, under capitalism everyone can be a billionaire, including myself, and also my life isn’t that bad right now. So who cares that under socialism/communism everyone could be lifted up?”

Look, folks. I am saying this lovingly. But you are not as much of an individual as you think. You are your own person, but you are not unique. In fact, if you talk to a random person on the street – no matter who they are – and you and them are not instantly judging each other for one reason or another, you will find that you have a lot more in common than you think. Capitalist individualism just taught you to not see this, because your empathy can be its undoing.

[z00oo1]

Joel Miller Recs

Tumblr

She’s a Gun @cowgurrrl

Somebody didn’t give the new guy a heads up about talking about Joel Miller’s family

Big Fan Big Fan II @atinylittlepain

Joel is smitten. But he's having a hard time figuring out when she's being real and when she's just acting.

Feeling You @peterparkersnose

Y/N confesses something to Joel she shouldn’t have when she saw him awake for the first time in weeks after his accident

Unexpected Expecting @atinylittlepain

Joel Miller x pregnant!f!reader

From Love and Life @bubbles-for-all-of-us

you're heavily pregnant but your medical assistant is needed in a close by town. 

We Bleed Together @bubbles-for-all-of-us

What if instead of loosing Sarah, Joel lost you - the mother of his two children and the person who had built him up to a better man.

If the door was open series @heartpascal

months of travelling with joel and ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.

Something is rotten @heartpascal

arriving in jackson brings painful feelings, and even worse conversations.

All my faith @heartpascal

Joel finding a little girl after the outbreak (before Ellie),

to do the right thing @pedgeitopascal

When you find out that you’re pregnant, getting rid of it seems to be the only option you have but when it doesn't go as planned, you think of another solution.

oneshot @firsttimewriter92

Joel's time being taken up by another woman

Survive @alloftheimagines

Ellie stays back to keep an eye on Joel so reader gets kidnapped

pieces of our path @atinylittlepain

Joel request please!Reader collects keychains from the different states/places she travels

i’m yours baby @youlightmeupfinn

you can't help but feel inferior when two women throw themselves at joel upon you moving to jackson.

I never stopped loving you I never stopped loving you II @musings-of-a-rose

The disciple @floralsandthesauce

y/n and Ellie have been taken by David and his loyal company.

Man I hate Golf @j0elmill3r

Oneshot @forever-rogue

reader gets hurt protecting Ellie

Needle and thread @uhlunaro

You picked on someone twice your size, and Joel begrudgingly patches you up.

The cure @alloftheimaginess

reader swaps places with Ellie and reader is the one Joel rescues.

Your Bear Your Bear II @rrickgrrimes8

Joel Miller doesn’t just lose Sarah that night but his other daughter too

Oneshot @secondsistershelby

Healing You @astrid-sorensen

A long 12 years after Sarah’s death, Joel can’t seem to open up to you again. But you’re never gonna stop trying.

Code Red @softlyspector

Joel finds out that its the reader's turn to go on patrol. And he is not okay

Settled @softlyspector

Joel and Ellie are finally mostly settled in Jackson. Joel just wants to take care of you, but you find it hard to let some things go.

Too Late @alloftheimagines

in which joel makes the decision to stay in jackson out of fear,

Oneshot @forever-rogue

Joel teaching reader how to swim

Slice of Paradise @bubbles-for-all-of-us

Joel dream of having a farmhouse comes true.

Butterfly @bubbles-for-all-of-us

When Joel thinks that his life is over his little butterfly sends him a new reason to stay alive.

Darling Don’t You Cry @pagesfromthevoid

In an Instant @mishasminion360

Happy birthday, Joel Miller.

Clouded Judgement @bluebeary-jay

it was a long time since Joel had felt a maddening rage

Apothecary @atinylittlepain

joel becomes curious about the woman running the medicine shop

Secret Garden @hevstlouera

As you were well aware, your parents work was something you should never be involved in

White Lies @poeticbarnes

Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.

Old Soul @softlyspector

You're never quite sure of your place in Joel's life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is.

Don't Let Me Drown @alloftheimagines

in which the reader falls into the river of death, and it's joel's job to save you and find shelter.

No Time To Die @davosmymaster

With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.

Don't Let Me Drown @alloftheimagines

in which the reader falls into the river of death, and it's joel's job to save you and find shelter

Old Soul @softlyspector

You're never quite sure of your place in Joel's life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is.

White Lies @poeticbarnes

Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.

Untitled @forever-rogue

Protective!Joel

A Long Time Coming @criminalamnesia

You go on patrol with Joel, unknowingly sealing your fate.

All Yours @punkshort

Tommy and Maria want to meet a group from another community to establish a trading relationship. One man comes onto you a little too strong, sparking a reaction from Joel.

Edge Of Darkness @hyzer34

After being placed in a tiny apartment for 5 months with a man who rarely talks. you both decide to leave the QZ.

Wattpad

Cowboy Like Me by JOELM1LLER

Till Death Do We Part by Bloodlvstflims

A husband and wife find themselves in a unique situation when a fungal virus infects the city surrounding them, where they're forced to make tough choices for the sake of living.

Ao3

Like Knives by Aerith123

Joel and Ellie come across an unlikely ally

Surrender by Ezrasbirdie

Weeks after the events in Kansas City, Joel and Ellie stumble across a woman lost in the Nebraska wilderness. With her knack for foraging and unending patience for Ellie's ceaseless questions, Daisy quickly becomes an asset on their journey.

Crack Shot by TomeOfTheForgotten

You must choose to leave behind the safety of Lincoln to bring Ellie to the terrorist group you swore you would never seek out again. It's been years since your last smuggling run, but you always were the best sniper the Fireflies ever had. With Joel at your side, you're ready for anything the open road could throw at you.

[mtfstuff]

Tinder swindler

"Never thought I'd get married before you.", Chris said taking a picture of me.

"I just didnt have luck finding the right person.", I answered.

He gave me back my phone.

"You look good on the picture. You could use it for a dating account. It doesnt hurt to look somewhere else. I mean, I found my Will through Grindr.", he said.

"Yeah, maybe I should look into it."

"If you want to stay a virgin when you turn 28 in two months, no one will stop you."

"Hey! You know I lost it before you did."

He chuckled.

"I know."

That night I couldnt sleep. I always thought about what Chris told me.

I turned on my lamp and took out my phone. I installed Grindr and made myself a profile. I entered my name, height, weight, what I like and want and at last I added some pictures.

It didnt take long and my inbox was flooded.  Many called me 'daddy' which was quite new for me. Most wanted to have me fuck them, let them worship me and move on but one message caught my eye.

A man called George. According to his profile he is 6,3ft, just like me and well build. He likes to bottom and is searching for a long time relationship.

He wrote 'you seem like a dream but I'm probably out of your league already'.

I answered 'You're definitely not out of my league'.

We started chatting and got to know each other. I felt connected to him immediately and we quickly agreed to go on a date next friday. We wrote each other every day.

It was finally friday afternoon and I got myself ready for my first date in a long time.

First I took a long shower.

I toweled myself dry and put on my boxer briefs. I left the bathroom and went to my wardrobe. I opened it and looked for a suit to wear.

I decided to wear a beige vest and pants with a light blue shirt and red tie. I slipped into my socks and stepped into the pants. I put on the shirt and buttoned it up before I tucked it into the pants. I tied my tie and put on the vest. I put on my watch and rings.

Now I had to choose a jacket and decided to go with a dark olive green one. I put it on and looked at my small collection of shoes.

I decided to go with my favorite pair of brown leather dress shoes.

I slowly slipped into them before lacing them. I loved them because they show little wear on the outside but they already molded themselves around my feet to fit perfectly as if they were custom made for me.

I took an uber and drove to the restaurant George and I agreed to date.

I sat at the table waiting for George to enter the building. I was staring at the front door, waiting to lay my eyes on his muscular frame.

I searched for him so much, that I didnt even looked at the chubby guy who entered and walked towards me.

He sat down and looked sheepishly at me.

"Hey Dean. Its awesome to meet you in person.", the man said.

I looked at him with big eyes. If he was George, I officially got catfished.

"Before you say anything or even stand up and leave, please let me tell you why I catfished you.", he continued. "The pictures on my profile are real only from 4 years ago. Shortly after I took them I had to get a big surgery on both of my legs and my right arm. I lost my muscles in no time as I couldnt go to the gym. You know, I'm sorry I did this to you but I lost so much confidence over the last few years and while I wrote to you, you were the nicest person I've ever met since then and I thought I had to take this chance. This chance to go on a date with one of the hottest men I've seen in my entire life."

He looked at me, probably waiting for my reaction but I couldnt speak it was as if someone was choking me.

"Please give me a chance. Only this date, I beg you. We can go separate ways after that, please.", he begged.

"Well,... I dont know what to say.", I finally got something out. "You lied pretty heavily in our chats now that I see you."

"I know, and I'm really sorry. I wanted to tell you but I thought that if I did you would never agree to meet me. I seem to be way out of your league."

"You dont know that.", I chuckled. "Only this date. And only because I dressed up for this."

"And you look marvelous!", he said.

"Thanks."

We started up a conversation and I was surprised how many things we really had in common. We talked, we laughed, we had dinner together. And maybe one, two drinks too much. We sat there together for more than 5 hours. The clock struck midnight and the restaurant wanted to close.

I wanted to call an uber for me and one for him, because he had paid for our complete dinner.

"I know you said only this date but maybe we could elongate this date by going to my apartment.", George asked.

Maybe I was too drunk to say no or I was somewhat attracted to him, I didnt know.

"Yeah, why not.", I answered. "I'm craving a relief right now."

"I can do that for you, I promise.", he smiled.

We called an uber and drove to his apartment. We entered the elevator and when the door closed, he pulled my face down to his. He began to kiss me passionately and I didnt push him away. The elevator rang and he pushed me out the door. I stumbled into a huge foyer, connecting multiple huge doors.

"You didnt tell me you had the suite of this building.", I said.

"Its not the suite but the penthouse.", he answered.

I turned around trying to soak it all in.

"Impressed?", he asked.

"Yeah, quite a bit."

He chuckled.

I turned around to see that he already had undressed himself quite a bit. He only wore his suit pants.

He pushed me into the bedroom. It felt like it was bigger than my whole apartment and on the far wall stood a huge king-sized bed. He pushed me ontop of it.

"You want some champagne?", he asked.

"Yeah, sure."

He opened the bottle that stood next to the bed and filled to glasses. He gave me one and we toasted. It didnt took long and the complete bottle was empty. I felt dizzy but it felt great.

"May I undress you Dean?", George asked.

"Sure.", I answered.

He slowly unlaced my right shoe and slipped it off my foot. He stuck his nose inside my shoe and took a deep breath.

"It smells so manly. I wish I would smell so good.", he said.

He unlaced my other shoe and sniffed it too. He let out a quiet moan. I wiggled my toes in my socks. To get his attention.

He pulled them off slowly and smelled them too.

"I love your style Dean. I mean I couldnt pull of these striped socks with those hot, hot, brown dress shoes.", he said taking another sniff of my socks.

"Well you can put them on to see if you can.", I said.

I dont know why I said it but I still did it. It felt like a slight layer of fog was clouding my mind.

George seemed happy as he pulled my socks over his own bare feet. He wiggled his toes inside them before he stepped into my dress shoes. He laced them up and looked at himself in the mirror next to the bed.

"Not so bad, isnt it?", I said.

It honestly didnt look too bad at him, but you could immediately see that my socks and shoes were a size too small for his body mass. His ankles swole over the edge of the shoes and you could see where the socks ended beneath his pants.

George continued undressing me. He slipped my watch off my wrist and my rings off my fingers. He took off my green jacket and beige vest before he untied my red tie.

He ran his hands over my light blue shirt feeling my muscles beneath before he unbuttoned it. He went down to my beige dress pants and pulled them off. I was now laying before him only wearing my black boxer briefs.

I thought he would yank them off of me but instead he took my suit and carefully hung it up. He turned around and laid himself next to me. He played with the waist band of my boxer briefs.

"Now you can undress me.", George said.

I opened the laces of my shoes and pulled them off, together with my socks. After that I slowly opened his belt and dress pants. As I pulled them down I was surprised by his hard dick swinging towards me.

"No underpants, what a surprise!", I said.

He chuckled.

"It has always brought me luck not wearing one.", he said.

He threw his pants to the ground and eagerly pulled my boxer briefs away.

"Its even bigger than I've imagined.", he said taking my erect dick into his hands.

He started going down on it and it felt amazing. His warm, soft lips engulfed my dick and his tongue played with the tip. I started twitching as he started sucking.

"That should be enough lube.", George said leaving my dick. "I want you inside of me."

"When you state that so nice, turn around."

He turned around and I slowly inserted my dick into his loose hole.

I started thrusting and it didnt take long until George started moaning.

"This feels so good!", he said.

I thrusted back and forth, my body already covered in sweat , loosening his hole even further.

After some minutes I felt I'm close to cumming.

"I'm close, I'll pull out.", I said.

"No, please, dont.", George said clenching his cheeks. "I want your pretty boy seed inside me."

That brought me over the edge. I shot string, after string of thick, white cum into his hole. We both moaned in sync. I, because I had my orgasm and him because he loved the feeling.

It felt like more than 10 minutes until I stopped shooting my load inside of George. I collapsed ontop of him, feeling my dick slipping out of his hole, covered in my own cum.

George turned me on my back and cleaned my dick by licking it clean. He laid down next to me and started playing with my sensitiv nipples.

"You are so incredibly hot.", George said.

I started moaning because he hit the sweet spot with my nipples. After one of my biggest orgasms this somewhat felt like torture.

"Can I fuck you?", he suddenly asked. "I have condoms if you want."

I started winding around.

"Yes, if you stop playing with my nipples, please.", I moaned.

I didnt fully realise what I agreed to until he stopped playing. He leaned over me to open the drawer next to the bed.

He took out a condom and pulled it over his dick.

He got off the bed and pulled me towards the edge. He took my muscular legs onto his shoulders and pushed his dick inside my ass.

It hurt at first.

"Is this your first time?", he asked.

I groaned in agreement.

He started thrusting slowly but increased the speed fast. My pecs jiggled with every thrust just like his belly. It didnt take long until I heard him squirm.

"I'm close to cumming.", he moaned.

"Then pull out.", I said panting.

"No need, I'm wearing a condom."

He started to twitch until he let out a loud moan.

I suddenly felt a strange warmth filling my ass.

"Dude, I think your condom broke.", I said pulling my ass off of his dick.

"Oh god, sorry. I'm really, really sorry.", he answered.

"Its okay, I'm just so sleepy all of a sudden."

"Well, make yourself comfortable then.", he said gesturing towards the bed.

I crawled under the blanket and curled myself together. I suddenly felt cold and started to shiver.

I felt how George crawled under the blanket too. I felt how his belly touched my back while he put his arm over my side, placing his hand on my abs. Shortly after that I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning and I felt my stomach grumble. I turned from side to side and felt funny.

"Man I feel bloated after yesterdays dinner...", I whispered to myself.

My crotch started to itch. I moved my right arm to scratch it as I noticed something weird. My belly was in the way of scratching my crotch.

I opened my eyes and was devastated. What I saw wasnt my hard earned body. I didnt see my abs, pecs, muscular arms, tattoos and muscular legs, but a fat body.

It didnt took long for me to realize that this was Georges body. I looked next to me, thinking I would find my body there sleeping but I was sitting on this bed alone.

I looked around the room searching for him but he wasnt there. I stood up looking for some clothes but Georges suit from yesterdad was nowhere to be found as well as my own clothes. I looked inside the wardrobe and only found a bathrobe.

I slipped it on and left the bedroom to search for my body.

It wasnt in the foyer and I made my way out onto the terrace. I found it there sitting on the couch, fully dressed in my clothes from yesterday evening, touching itself.

"How did this happen!", I shouted at it.

"Good morning Dean. How are you?", it asked.

I shivered when I heard my deep, dark voice.

"George?  Is that you?", I asked bewildered.

"Who else should it be."

"How did this happen? We cant stay like this!"

"Why not? I mean, I'm stunning now."

"So you dont want your life back? Even if not, you cant force your life uppon me!"

"In fact, I do not want it back. I mean, I was the one who swapped our bodies."

"What do you mean 'you were the one'?"

"Remember the champagne we had before yesterdays makeout session? Yeah, it was a special one. It took a very long time to get it here from the deep darks of the internet. And then I only needed a hot hunk to drink it with and to have each others cum inside us."

"Wait...you broke the condom on purpose to swap with me? Why even me? Why even swap to begin with. Your muscles still have your workout memory. It wouldnt have been too hard to get your muscles back!"

He stood up and leaned against the wall. I only now noticed how much taller my body is compared to Georges.

"I'll do this in order. Yes, i did it on purpose. Because you are honestly one of the hottest men I've seen. I mean, that trimmed beard, the handsome face, the muscles, the tattoos, the suits. And those pictures werent really me. Those are my cousin, he always had the better genetics while looking similar. I always had a crush on people like him: big, strong, muscular. And with your body I can finally get a boyfriend like that!"

"You've done all of that just to have a chance of getting a hunk as a boyfriend? You know you coild get that in this body too!?"

"Dont try to trick me! No one wanted to date me when I had a profile with real pictures of myself."

"But I gave you a chance. What if I wanted to be your boyfriend George? "

I could see his dick twitch in my pants.

"You want to?", he asked.

"Yesterday was one of the best nights of my life.", I answered.

He walked around me and put his arms around my waist.

"So you'll be my boyfriend?", George asked.

I got goosebumps feeling his breath on my neck. I smelled the perfume and aftershave from my body. And it smelled incredible.

His hands opened my bathrobe and started to massage my fat breasts. He slowly moved down onto my belly and kneaded it before starting to stroke my dick.

It was pure pleasure and my knees went weak. I fell onto my knees and George sat down onto the couch again.

I turned at him and he held his foot in front of me.

"Worship me George!", he said.

And how I wanted to worship him. I felt the need to serve this muscular man before me.

I started licking the brown leather top of my former shoes. I pulled it off of his foot and smelled it. It smelled great, like leather and manly sweat.

I pushed my dick inside the shoe and wanted to shoot a load into it when I came back to my senses.

"No! This isnt right! I wont serve my own body. It is mine and I demand you to give it back!", I shouted.

"Thats sad. I had hoped that the seduction would let you forget who you really are.", he said.

"You are a horrible person George! You steal my body and then try to make me forget myself?! Even when I would still have my body I wouldnt want to be your boyfriend anymore. You are just sick!", I screamed.

"I want to propose a deal to you.", he said calm. "You can have your body back, but only when you get a hunk to date you in my body."

"Deal!"

"Good. I'll give you three weeks to accomplish it. If you dont, I'll make you my slave and you'll worship your own body forever."

He stood up again and left the terrace. I followed him.

"Oh, before I forget. You'll get some of my memories in the next hours. Phone pin, where I hid my clothes, credit card pin, where my car and house keys are et cetera.", he continued.

I looked at him speechless.

"Yes, I also have your memories. And not only a few like you will, I know what you know.", je chuckled. "I'll go home now and test this body to the fullest. So make sure you get a date to get this back!"

He pointed to himself, then entered the elevator.

"See you in three weeks."

He waved at me as the elevator doors closed.

_______

Follow George exploring his new body (coming soon)

Follow Dean trying to find a date (coming soon)

[foxofninetales]

You get more leverage with a crowbar

"...I told you," bristles Elliot, stalking in an angry little half-circle around the open – very open – door.  It's a heavy door, fireproof, and designed to add an extra layer of overnight security to the collection in the room beyond, but it hadn't been able to stand against the explosives that had been packed around its hinges and lock.  "I told you there was something off about the whole setup. Or do you think that it's just a coincidence that someone else decided to rob the museum right after we took down all their security precautions?"  He prowls back around again, feet automatically stepping over the unconscious security guard who is dreaming happily on the low-pile carpet – one of several who lies scattered decoratively around the museum thanks to Sophie’s intervention. 

Hardison sees his point, but at the same time, it's not like mister punchy-man is the one who has been putting in the hard work on this heist so far.  "You're upset? Who spent hours”– okay, lie, it was like five minutes, but he has a mystique to cultivate here –"making sure all the alarms were disabled just to find that someone took advantage of his hard work–"

"Your hard work!" Sophie breaks in with an expressive wave of her hands. "You think it's easy spending two weeks being a docent? On a museum salary? During field trip season?!"  She shudders beneath the name badge (not hers) that she is still wearing. There are sticky handprints on the hem of her sensible grey suit.

"Quiet!"

They all stop and look at Nate, who is staring down at the fallen door with a deeply contemplative expression.  Hardison can almost hear his fans spinning.  "Do you ever feel," he says slowly – and that is his sit-up-and-pay-attention voice, his mastermind voice, his I'm-at-heart-a-deeply-creepy-bastard voice, "that we were being led the whole way here?"

Hardison knows by now that the best way to speed up Nate's processor is with a little kick of wounded pride, and he's got plenty of his own to share. "Naw – you're saying that someone mailing us a newspaper article about the failed repatriation attempts around the duke's collection might not have been a coincidence?"

"I'm saying," says Nate, rising predictably to the bait, "that I think this is less to do with the temple and more to do with some other person or agency about which we, currently, know far less than they apparently do us."

"I can tell you they're Chinese," interjects Elliot.  Nate's laser-focus snaps to him, and under that stare he gives a shrug.  "Or at least that they learned how to build explosives by working with fireworks in Liuyang.  Smell that."  He takes a deep sniff and let the breath out through his mouth, just like he's at a wine tasting. What a freak [affectionate]. "Notice how the sulfur tang hits the back of your tongue? The bitter finish?"

Hardison sniffs dutifully, but mostly smells...smoke.  And not even much of that – not even enough to set off the museum's smoke detectors even if they and everything else in the adorable little setup the museum thinks is a security system weren't sitting there obediently waiting for Hardison to tell them what to do.  "Mmmhmm, sure," he lies, with the ease of long practice.  "And you're trying to say you know where this guy trained from a smell?"

"It's a very distinctive smell," says Elliott, right on cue.  Damn, Hardison is gonna get Elliot bingo fast tonight.  "But the explosive placement on that door is more like the placement you'd use in underground structures, so we're dealing with someone who was trained on explosives in mines, or excavation, or–" 

He stops dead.  Stares at nothing, brows drawing down in a tangle, and mutters something that sounds mystifyingly like "cultural artifacts".  Then tilts his head back and yells like the tiniest, angriest rooster in the world:

"WANG PANGZI, YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

There's a moment's pause, and then a deep rumbling chuckle.  They all turn towards the source of the sound, just in time to see a man amble into the light.  He's a big man, fat-over-muscle, but he moves with the kind of ease that tells Hardison that he knows how to use every ounce.  Elliot is glaring at him like he's going to go for his ankles any second, but Hardison is saved from having to intervene (i.e., get out his camera) by the delighted trill that comes from Sophie beside him. 

"Pangzi, darling!"  She drifts forward like a battleship under full sail and is almost instantly wrapped in the big man's arms, both of them breaking into a fast-paced chatter in a language Hardison recognizes from his hacker forums and subbed dramas as a Chinese dialect (not that the man's features and the fact that he's apparently *also* robbing an exhibit of Chinese antiquities aren't also something of a tip-off). Whoever this guy is, Sophie knows him well, so well that their expressive movements as they both gesture effusively with their hands interweave effortlessly. 

Hardison's so busy bemusedly watching this unexpected love-fest that he misses the moment that someone else appears on the scene. What he doesn't miss, though, is Nate stiffening beside him.  It's almost a Sterling-level stiffen, and that has Hardison glancing over pretty damn quickly, but all he sees is another man, Chinese like the first but a little younger, and far too ordinary in appearance to be in a museum at midnight with an unconscious guard and a still-smoking door.  Hardison looks him over evaluatingly: the glasses say "geek" and the sweater says "prep", but the scar on his neck says either "danger" or "has a hell of a story about a power tool". 

"Wu Xie," says Nate, not so much smiling as allowing his teeth to surface from the depths.  Oh, Nate hates this guy.  Hardison perks up in interest.

"Nate," says the man, returning the smile – and Hardison may not know him, but he's stolen enough antiques to recognize a matched set when he sees one.  Innnnnteresting.  Hardison tries to remember where he's heard the name Wu Xie before – and 3.5 seconds later, it hits him like a box of rocks.

He flails. 

"Wait a minute," he says, loud enough to break through the sound of Sophie and the fat man (who appear to have started singing) all indignation at being used by the competition evaporating like smoke in the face of a much greater injustice.  "Wait. A. Minute. If that–" he points at Nate's latest nemesis, who blinks "–is Wu Xie, and that–" another, increasingly accusatory jab of his finger "–is Wang Pangzi, then does that mean"– he can hear his own voice getting higher –"does that mean that Zhang Qiling is around here someplace?" 

He spins around, futilely scanning the ceiling, and finishes his circle aimed squarely at his cheating, holdout, betrayer of a boyfriend who'd better enjoy having every internet link he clicks be a rickroll for the next week because he knows what he did.  "You know Batman and you didn't tell me?!"

** * **

In the quiet shadows of a balcony above, a dark figure crouches on a railing, his black clothing somehow managing to blend with the dimly-lit neutrals of the museum walls. His posture is attentive but comfortable; his hood is pulled down low over his face, and strapped to his back is a black and gold sword that would be worth a heist in its own right. 

Silently, a line drops down from the ceiling and a second figure in black – this one upside-down and with a blond ponytail that hangs down like an inverted exclamation-mark – slides down to hang even with the first.

"Hey, Xiaoge," says Parker, holding out an open bag of marshmallows that she'd liberated from the gift shop.

Not turning his head, Xiaoge nods, and takes a handful.

And together they chew in companionable silence, while their families sort things out below.