#i just have kenz on the brain

[atl0yalty]

i wanna use my multi more but honestly i have constant and complete kendra wolfe brain rot i just can't shake it

[hopefulstarfire]

here's the truth; I get more writing done in rps than I do anything else. Like. I guess my brain just sees it as this little treat and can be productive that way versus me actually writing and staring at a screen hoping I'm getting all of this right.

[fishy--friend]

Hi! Welcome to the pond!

My name is Fishy, your new best friend! I am transmasc (neoboy whoo), neptunic and i use he/they pronouns! I like Gravity Falls, Seren, my moots, drawing and more! I am pro choice, pro palistine and obvi i support gay and trans people!!!

pfp by the lovely @daily-bipper-brainrot^^

unfortunately, i am not answering asks about Gaza.

my hobbies are:

annoying @astralphobia (and my other moots)

art

singing

writing

rambling about little aus of my aus

nickname guide:

Seren: @astralphobia

Sars: @sarosthewizarddude

Biro/Cryptic: @cryptic-platypus

Kenz: @spaceumbredoggos

Some fun facts about me are:

My favorite character of all time is Bipper (i just think hes neat)

I am a nonreligious angelkin

I live breathe and die Gravity Falls

ADHD go brrrr

My favorite animal is fish i love fish so much theyre so cool they can survive underwater without having to go up for air and theyre so scaly and cool and i love them sm i love to watch them and theyre so tasty too i love fish forever and ever and

This is mostly reblogs!

I think that's everything... oh and I believe to be Bill's reincarnation. Oh and I have disassociation issues. Oh and I post lots about my aus Return to the Falls and Tumblr Falls. Oh and 3 versions of myself (me, Bill and Ireen) run this blog. We call ourselves the Holy Hivemind. speaking of which~!

Idk, there's just 3 versions of me bouncing around in my brain and apparently thats not normal. i think its called a system when its like that? so uh yeah this is the Holy Hivemind system i guess. you might be wondering in your own crainum, "how can i tell who is posting?" which i have made a handy guide for your poor soul!

Me, the main personality! (is that a thing? Ireen and Bill rarely take over unless I ask em to) I go by Fish or Fishy ofc! My pronouns are he/they and you can tell its me because I either use correct capitalization or none at all! I usually dont color my text but when i do its blue!

Bill, the only character pulled from the media and second in command! He goes by Bill, One-Eyed King, your majesty, you get the gist. He hates being called Billy though unless its from one of our close friends like @cryptic-platypus or @spaceumbredoggos. He uses he/they/it/neo pronouns and you can tell its him because HE TYPES LIKE THIS! SOMETIMES HE EVEN COLORS IT ORANGE TO MAKE IT CLEARER!

Ireen, the newest member and deriving from my angelkin shit! They go by Ireen, Holy Spirit, and Angelic One! They use they/it/neo pronouns and you can tell its them because they type rather formally and use larger words that the other two would have to google in order to understand. It also likes to change the color to blue or even purple how it pleases.

we hope you stick around!

[realmackross]

Time: August 13th, 2024 Content Warnings: None!

"Don't you, forget about me. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't you, forget about me." - Simple Minds

The feelings that Mackenzie held in her heart were mixed. Though the departure from Wicked’s Rest wouldn’t be permanent, as far as she was currently concerned, the idea of leaving a place that had oddly and painfully become her home over the past year was still hard to wrap her head around. But it hadn’t been a decision she had taken lightly. It was one of self-preservation, because if she didn’t do it, she was sure this town was going to claim another life, even if she was a member of the undead.

But what had been impossible before, when she left no trace and just disappeared, had seemed even harder now that she was doing it the right way. Alerting those she loved that she was leaving. That she was off to temporarily start a new life for herself. At least for as long as this new movie was shooting and the press tour was going. Of course there was still the murder of Brody Stevens lingering, even while he sat right next to her reassuring her that this was for the best. It was still a problem she wasn’t sure how to come to terms with – turn herself in or pray that she would be acquitted if the truth ever came out that she was the one to kill him. She certainly still looked guilty and though the love of her life had reassured her that even he knew it wasn’t intentional, Mackenzie still struggled.

“Hey, Kenz. Your flight leaves soon. Are you ready? Are we doing this? I don’t think Jack can stand this cat-carrier much longer, and we’ve got a long flight ahead.” Taylor held Jack’s carrier in her hands as she looked towards the zombie.

“Yeah, I just…You got enough brains for the flight right? I don’t want to do this if there’s any risk of a plane going down over the Pacific because of a zombie…” It sounded absurd, but if it had been one thing Mackenzie had learned in her time in Wicked’s Rest was that preparation was key, especially when it came to literal life and death.

“Yes, and I’ve already found a supplier in Australia, which means there’s more people out there like you. Outside of Wicked’s Rest. You’re not going to be alone…” She sent a soft, reassuring smile in her friend’s direction, “I’ll be out in the car.”

Nodding softly, Mackenzie turned back around to face the quiet house releasing a heavy sigh. As she looked around, she let her eyes take in all the good memories and even the bad memories with the friends she had made since her arrival. The sleepover and falling off over the upstairs bannister. The time spent with Alex talking about life and watching movies. The zombie movie marathon with Milo. And even the night of drinking with Chai that led to one of the worst mistakes of her life. More recently the relationship with Elora that allowed her a chance to see that love was possible again. And the birthday party of two with Winter, even after the strain on their friendship. She thought about all the nights spent alone watching tv late into the night and all the As Seen On TV stuff that had been dropped off in a box at a local shelter, along with some clothes and a donation check hoping it would do some good, despite all the harm that had seemed to come from her existence.

“This is a good thing, Babe. And I’ll be with you as long as I’m allowed.”

His voice was a reminder of a life when everything felt right. Felt good. And she closed her eyes taking in every word Brody whispered in her ear. God, how she wanted to hold him and kiss him again. But just having him in her presence was more than enough for what she was about to do, “You’re right. I’m just scared.”

Turning around to face him, she refrained from letting her hand run across his face knowing the outcome, “I know I need this. I just don’t want to hurt anybody.”

“You’ve got this. And Winter, she was right. Forgive yourself, Mackenzie Elizabeth Ross. There’s plenty of other times in life to feel guilty. If I can forgive you and still love you, then you can forgive you.” He shot his trademark smirk in her direction as she let her eyes scan over the house one last time.

“Okay, let’s do this. Let’s go make a movie in Australia.”

As the car pulled out of the driveway, Mackenzie thought back on all the people she was leaving. Winter. Monty and Kaden. Cass. Charlie. She thought of Sellama praying she was safe. She thought of Elora, Alex, Milo, Marcus and all the other friends who had come and gone hoping they were happy. She thought of Caleb, who she hadn’t seen, but had even wished him the best, hearing through town gossip that he had been freed of the demon that plagued him. And Jade? Well Jade was just Jade.

Wicked’s Rest had felt like a lifetime, despite it only being a year of her life. But she knew she’d keep the lessons she had learned close to her heart as she went onto bigger and better things. Knowing that even if the time there was brief, it had still made quite the impact.

“Hey, Mackenzie! Look!”

Blinking through the tears in her eyes to clear her vision, she quickly looked out the other side of the window of the car she was in to see Sellama pronking happily through the grass, “She’s alive? She’s alive!!!” Mackenzie rolled down the window and leaned forward screaming out the window, “SELLAMA! I LOVE YOU, GIRL! BE SAFE MY SWEET GIRL! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”

At that moment, her decision had felt right. She was as free as Sellama was, pronking happily through the fields of Wicked’s Rest, and without second thought, Mack stuck her head out the window and screamed something of relief as the salt laced wind blew through her wavy blond hair. With Brody, Taylor, and even Jack at her side, Mackenzie felt safe. She'd be back eventually, but not until it felt right in her heart.

And as she boarded the plane to Australia knowing that she had people in her corner in all parts of the world, everything felt okay. It felt right. It felt whole.

[jj-nhlgirly]

Summer of Love:- Bad Omens

Jack Hughes x F!Reader

AN I did originally have a different part planned to go first but I’ve decided to switch them around hence why this has taken me a little longer than I planned. This is gonna be a heavy one so please read with caution and look after yourselves. Anyone on the phone will be in bold.

TW:- mentions of divorce, car accidents, seizures, and abuse, mentions of ex’s and general hate

(Not my gif, credits to who made this)

On an average morning Mackenzie would wake up with Jacks arm draped across her small waist, his head resting comfortably above hers, hearing the soft snores and mumbling he tended to do as he slept. This morning however she woke up alone with her phone ringing out obnoxiously in the seemingly empty house. Reaching around to the nightstand, Mackenzie didn’t check who was calling and just answered, “he-hello?”. “Hey sweetheart” Mackenzie’s mom Angie replied. “Mom? Is everything alright?” Kenzie asked worriedly looking at the time and seeing it was 8:05 AM, meaning it was 7:05 AM back home. “Yes sweetie, Nerf and I are fine! Just thought I’d give you a call as I walked him before work” “awww how’s my little nerfie, give him a big cuddle from me” Kenzie giggled. Angie rolled her eyes, not that Kenzie could see it before huffing out “He was the worst and best thing I ever got you girls and he’s not little anymore Kenzie. He’ll be bigger than you soon.” Nerf was the family’s German shepherd, Angie was a nurse who often worked the night shift and she didn’t feel comfortable leaving two teenage girls alone in the house and so they decided to get Nerf as company when the girls were away for hockey matches and protection for when Angie wasn’t there. “That’s not exactly hard mom, I’m not exactly big.” Kenzie huffed rolling her eyes jokingly. After chatting to her mom for an hour catching up, Mackenzie wished her mom a good shift at work, exchanged I love you’s and Kenzie promised to tell Skylar that her mom loved her as well and hung up the phone.

Sitting up, stretching and climbing off the bed Mackenzie made it to the en-suite to shower. Whilst showering Mackenzie tried to rack her brain to figure out where Jack was, she tried to remember if he’d mentioned going anywhere last night but he didn’t. Mackenzie wasn’t worried, he was a 22 year old man he could go where he wanted and she felt comfortable enough in their relationship to not need to know where he was 24/7 however a heads up he was going out would have been nice. Stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her, Mackenzie walked to the sink to brush her teeth and started her summer makeup routine which consisted of tinted moisturiser, a small amount of concealer, waterproof mascara, a little blush and tinted chapstick. After spraying some body mist she ventured back into their bedroom to get dressed into denim shorts, a peachy brown crop top and white high tops. Finally making her way downstairs she saw Skylar sitting at the breakfast bar eating a bowl of fruit loops, “Hey Sky, where are the boys?” Kenzie asked her sister, roughing up Skylars hair as she passed. “Hey Kenz, erm Quinn said they were going out golfing.” Skylar replied not looking up from her bowl. “Oh ok, did they say when they’d be back?” Kenzie looked over her shoulder as she reached for a bowl. “No? Maybe lunch time?” Skylar replied nonchalantly. Mackenzie turned around to face her, “ok what’s up?” She asked quirking her eyebrow up at her sister. Skylar sighed before putting her spoon down, “You ever think about dad?”. Mackenzie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, their dad was a tough subject for the two and whilst Skylar was fairly open with people about the fact their dad left them and their mom back when they were little, Mackenzie never liked talking about it, you’d rarely hear Mackenzie even mention her dad.

“What about him?” Mackenzie asked. “I don’t know, like have you ever thought of what life would have been like had he given a shit about us? If he wasn’t an abusive asshole?” Skylar asked playing with her fingers. “Yeah I guess? I mean I’m glad he isn’t in my life, we’re better off without him. The only thing he ever gave me besides my life was my seizures. We have an amazing father figure in Kaylee’s dad.” Mackenzie replied walking around to hug Skylar from behind. “Yeah I guess, I just wish he would have actually gave a fuck about us. I mean we’re his damn daughters do we really mean that little to him? Why didn’t he want us?” Skylar asked with tears in her eyes, Mackenzie hugged her tighter “no no don’t say that sky, he’s a piece of shit. I can’t speak for him and tell you why. But I can tell you that he’s missed out on seeing the amazing woman you’re becoming, the amazing hockey player you’re becoming. I’m so lucky to call myself your big sister, I wouldn’t change you for the whole world. Fraser has been an amazing replacement dad to us and do you know what he would say if he was here instead of home in Nashville?” “What?” Skylar turned and replied. “He’d say “girllll why you crying? Why are you sat here crying instead of going out there and showing him you don’t need him. Show him how amazing you are without him.” Kenzie replied in a deep voice attempting to imitate Fraser. Skylar started laughing and soon Kenzie joined, “you’re so right, god I’m sorry kenz I know that it’s hard to talk about but thank you I needed that.” Kenzie turned Skylar so she was facing her, serious expression on her face before saying “yeah it sucks, but there’s no one I’d rather talk to about this than you. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of the things we have and not the things we don’t.” Kenzie walked back into the kitchen to make herself some cereal before joining Skylar again.

Lunchtime rolled around quicker than either girl expected, having spent the morning practicing their hockey a little in the backyard and changing to tan on the sun loungers in the midday sun. The boys arrived home just after one, dropping their bags in their rooms and venturing outside to find the girls. Jack came up behind Mackenzie leaning down to give her a kiss, smiling Mackenzie lifted her sunglasses to look at him. “Well hello there stranger? You kiss all your guests like that?” Mackenzie asked cheekily. Jack smirked “only the pretty ones” Mackenzie scoffed before putting her sunglasses back on. Jack walked around and sat on the spare lounger beside her, “how was golfing?” Kenzie asked staring out at the water. “Good, I beat Quinn this time. How was your morning beautiful?” Jack asked looking at the water as well. “It was good, spent some time with sky practicing.” Mackenzie replied choosing to leave the conversation about their dad. After catching up some more and tanning a little, Mackenzie looked up at the sky noticing how it was starting to cloud over. Thick black clouds were approaching them and the wind was starting to pick up which meant one thing, a thunder storm was approaching and quickly. Grabbing all their belongings and calling for the others to come in, they made it inside just as it started to rain. A bad omen is what Mackenzie thought.

As it was raining the group decided to play some card games before more people arrived, Kaylee and Trevor were due to fly in tomorrow night. Connecting his phone to the speaker Jack played his and Kenzie’s summer playlist, singing along as they set up cards against humanity. After a couple rounds they switched to Uno, which Jack wasn’t very good at causing Kenzie having to lean over and help him until he finally won a game. The evening was full of laughter and light teasing until Jack and Mackenzie decided to call it a night.

Jack and Mackenzie were laying on their bed, Kenzie’s head on his chest scrolling through Instagram she decided to make a post, asking jack to send over a picture of him golfing.

Liked by jackhughes, _quinnhughes, Frey.Lodge and 178,446 others

Kenzie.Havener Summer Loving ☀️💛

Kay.Johnson dammmnn look at my hot bestie

Kenzie.Havener omg stopppp you’re gonna make me blush ☺️🫶🏼

jackhughes I love you ❤️

Kenzie.Havener 🥺 I love you ❤️

Trevorzegras I love you too @jackhughes

jackhughes I love you too buddy

_quinnhughes you look so happy to be golfing 😂😭

jackhughes bully me all you want I still won 😎

l_hughes06 I still don’t know how 🧐

Edwards.73 beats me

jackhughes what is this bully jack day? 🧐

Kenzie.Havener Isn’t that everyday? 😝

trevorzegras yeah basically 😂

Frey.Lodge YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL 😩🫶🏼

Kenzie.Havener THANK YOU GORGEOUS 🫶🏼

User1784 Jack deserves better than her

User1237 omg right? This is what I’ve been saying like who tf does she think she is?

User1790 the way she acts around other boys as well 🤢, like pick a boy and stick with them

User1784 right? No wonder her dad left her 😂 if that was my daughter I’d have disowned her as well

Kenzie sat up reading the comments shocked. This had never happened before, so why was it happening now. How did they know about her dad? What did they mean about her with other boys? Kenzie looked over to Jack who was still laying down scrolling through his phone before shutting it off looking at Kenzie and asking “why have I never met your dad?” Mackenzie was stunned, partly in shock from the comments and partly because this was the first time Jack had ever asked about her dad. Jack however sat looking at her expectantly, he was aware that there was issues considering Mackenzie had never mentioned her dad and when he visited Nashville it was just Kenzie, Skylar and their mom, but he assumed that he was busy or something. “What?” Mackenzie asked finally coming to her senses. “How come I’ve never met him? Are you ashamed of me? Embarrassed by me?” Jack was trying to find any form of excuse as to why Mackenzie wouldn’t want her boyfriend to meet her dad. Mackenzie was lost, she didn’t know what to say and yet she knew exactly what to say at the same time, “erm- I-I-I what?” Jack was getting frustrated “come on, there must be some reason. You’ve met all of my family why can’t I meet yours? Did your ex- boyfriends meet him?” “I-I I don’t — I can’t—“ Mackenzie was panicking there was so much to say but she couldn’t get it out. “WILL YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING” Jack yelled reaching up to run his hand through his hair, as he did so Mackenzie flinched away from him before whimpering “please don’t hit me.” Before Jack could get anything out Mackenzie was running out of the room down the stairs sobbing passing Quinn and Skylar before grabbing her keys and running outside in the rain. Just as she was pulling out of the drive way Jack came running down the porch steps, watching her speed off down the road.

With shaky hands Mackenzie called Kaylee from her cars hands free, “Heyyy Kenny-bear, How’s Michigan?” Kaylee asked before hearing her best friend crying “hey hey what’s wrong?” “J-jack.” Was all Kenzie said, “Kenz what about Jack? Is he ok?!” “He-he a-asked a-a-about d-d-dad, he-he g-got m-ad a-and ye-yelled at me” Mackenzie sobbed out, her hands were starting to tingle and her left leg was jolting sporadically, a sign she was going to have a seizure soon. “Oh kenz Im sorry, it’s ok. It’ll be ok, where are you?” Kaylee asked worriedly, “d-driving, my hands -a-are tingly” Kenzie replied trying to concentrate. “Kenzie I want you to pull over for me ok? You need to pull over, it’s not safe to drive close to a seizure” Kaylee replied, turning Kenzie on speaker phone and desperately trying to get a hold of Jack or Skylar, using life 360 to see where Kenzie was. “I’m sleepy Kay, my heads fuzzy.” “Kenzie pull over NOW!!” “I-I’ll pull over n-now” was the last thing Mackenzie said before all Kaylee could hear was crashing, tyres screeching, glass smashing and a car horn continuously beeping. “K-Kenzie can you hear me?” “Mackenzie?” “MACKENZIE” Kaylee screamed, alerting Freya and Maddy who were sitting in Mackenzie and Kaylee’s apartment in New Jersey. Running in they saw Kaylee sat on her bed, crying. “What happened?… KAYLEE WHAT HAPPENED?” Maddy shouted. “Kenzie, I was on the phone to her and I think she had a seizure whilst driving I heard crashing and she’s not answering me” Kaylee sobbed. “Omg ok, ok someone needs to call 911 and someone needs to call Jack or Skylar or LITERALLY ANYONE” Freya shouted. Maddy grabbing her phone called 911, looking at Kenzie’s location on Life360, Kaylee was sobbing trying to get a response out of Mackenzie. Whilst Freya went into the living room calling Jack.

Back in Michigan, Jack was sat in the living room explaining to Quinn and Skylar what had happened. “You’re an ass, you know that Jack Hughes. The reason you haven’t met our dad is because he’s not around, we last saw him when I was 2 and Kenzie was 4. He was an abusive asshole, he doesn’t give a shit about us and never has, the only real father figure we have is Kaylee’s. It’s not because she doesn’t want you to meet him, it’s because you can’t, we don’t know where he is and even if we did HE DOESNT WANT US.” Skylar screamed before leaving the room sobbing. Jack sighed looking over at Quinn, “I’ve truly fucked this up haven’t I? She’s never gonna forgive me. God I’m such a dick, why did I yell at her, I wasn’t gonna hit her I-I-I’d never hit her!!.” Jack cried. Quinn got up and put his arm around his younger brother, “Just give her some time to clear her head, don’t force her to tell you everything. Clearly it’s a sore subject for both of them, just be supportive, be there for her. Not every person in America has their dad in their lives Jack.” Before Jack could reply his phone started ringing, looking down he say Freya was calling him. Confused he answers “hello?” “Jack… Jack thank god” Freya spoke sounding breathless “Freya? What’s going on? Is everything ok?” Jack was growing more and more concerned. “No-no Jack it’s Mackenzie!! There’s been an accident” Freya answered crying, Jack shot to stand up, looking at Quinn with wide eyes. Quinn titled his head, his own concern growing at his brothers reaction. “What-what do you mean an accident?” “She was driving on the phone to Kaylee, Kaylee thinks she had a seizure and crashed. She’s not responding, we’ve called 911 and I’ve sent you her location. Please-please go go look after our girl” “FUCK NOOO ITS ALL MY FAULT” Jack was tearing up, running to put his shoes on as Quinn followed Skylar running down and following close behind as well, grabbing his keys he guided Jack and Skylar to his car, driving as quick and as safely as he could to the address Freya had sent. They got there in 15 minutes the longest 15 minutes of their lives. What they saw. None of them could have prepared for a two car crash. A bad crash. Mackenzie’s car was front ended in a tree, and another flipped on its roof near by. Ambulances, police and fire engines everywhere. Quinn turned Skylar’s shaking form into his chest, hand shielding her face away from the scene. Jacks heart sunk when he saw a stretcher with a body bag being wheeled into an ambulance, he wasn’t sure who it was but he was suddenly over come with nausea , whispering “Mackenzie please no, not her, please not her” out for the wind to carry wherever it wished as tears rolled down his cheeks.

[spaceumbredoggos]

So much for Stardust Chapter twenty nine

Kenz writhed uncomfortably in their sleep, screaming out loud. They coughed, gagging on their intubation tube. They flailed their arms and legs around, trying to control their movements. “Kenz. It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

They whimpered, calming down as I rubbed their back. I breathed a sigh of relief as they finally were taking to the sedation. I was surprised for how low their drug tolerance was that it took so long to fully knock them out.

I put a mask over their eyes, keeping out any light that could cause them to dream. I can’t have them dreaming about fire and blood again.

Dipper walked into the room. “Kenz!!!” He bolted up to them, but I blocked his path. “Shhh. They’ll hear you.”

“What happened to them?” Dipper squirmed, trying to get to Kenz. I carried him into the other room. “Kenz contracted chickenpox from a Karen. No one has their vaccination records, so we can’t be sure if they were ever vaccinated.”

“Isn’t it really bad to get it as an adult?”

“Kenz has a weird immune system that is immune to rabies and prion diseases, but when it comes to a cold, flu, or in this case, chickenpox, their body goes haywire.” I refrained from telling him that Kenz was having severe nightmares. “I think it got to their brain. They started having seizures. I put them in a medically induced coma and on heavy antivirals.”

“Are they gonna be okay?”

“I’m not sure.” I sighed, pacing back and forth. “They got so sick so fast. They’re tough, but only so much.” I gave a heaving sigh. “I’m glad that they’re finally starting to trust me. I didn’t know that they could be so affectionate and cuddly. Platonically. They seem to only be comforted whenever I’m around.”

Dipper sighed, sitting down. “I hope they’ll pull through.”

Pacifica walked in, leaning on Dipper. She looked devastated. “I��m guessing you saw Kenz?”

“They keep shouting in their sleep. And I thought Dipper’s sleep talking was bad.”

“Wait, they’re talking in their sleep?” I bolted back into the room, noticing Kenz start to flail. “Fire!!! Fire!!!” They managed to tear out their intubation tub, coughing and gasping for breath. They thrashed, hitting their head on the wall. Their eyes burst open as they sat up, coughing and gagging. “Fuck… What happened? Why is my throat all gross and achy? I feel like puking…” I booted over to them. The rash was entirely gone, but their fever was still burning a bright 104. They whined as I took their vital signs. I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that Kenz was more awake and less glassy-eyed. “I think we passed the worst.”

“Was that tube in my throat? How did I rip it out? Don’t I need it? No. Not anymore. I can breathe. I can smell. I just feel so hot and cold at the same time.”

“That’s the fever. You still need to rest.” They nodded, curling up with their Minecraft fox plush. “I don’t want to sleep though.”

Pacifica tackle hugged them, catching them by surprise. “Too tight. Too fucking tight!!!” But the purr escaping from their throat said otherwise. “Oh my fucking god. What perfume do you use?” Kenz’s glassy stare returned, but it didn’t look feverish or sick. It looked more like they were entranced, as if enamored by scent. Pacifica shook them. “Kenz. Kenz. Are you seriously that sensitive to perfume?”

I poured hot water over their head, immediately causing the fever to break. They stood up, stumbling a little bit. “Fuck… My head can’t stop spinning from those nightmares. I feel so mentally overwhelmed. I was like trapped in my own overactive mind for… For… Wait… how did I heal so fast?”

“Hot water.” I wrote it down in my notes. “It has to be near boiling. Disease gets exfoliated from the skin from exposure to extremely hot water. It’s an umbredoggo thing. You don’t get burns and you heal better from heat. Being set on fire or shoved in an oven would have the same effect. It’s also why your arm is no longer broken.”

“That’s kinda word. But why do I keep having dreams of burning? I’ve had them ever since I was dragged into the Moonpool.” They grabbed a journal and immediately started drawing, as if entranced. They shook their head as they snapped out of the little fit. “I don’t feel mentally well.” They started hyperventilating, gazing at the intense drawing of fire and blood. “In all these dreams, I see my cousin. She always starts the fire and causes the blood. But how can this fire hurt me when I can’t be burned? Is it a special type of fire?”

“Kenz—“ They stood up and immediately started to run. “Where are you going.”

“The Moonpool must have answers.”

“Kenz. You almost died the last time you were there. And the water is too cold. It’ll hurt you the moment you fall in.”

“I’m not gonna fall in.” I managed to catch up to them and hold them back. Dipper approached them. “Sometimes nightmares are just nightmares.”

“If that were the case, they wouldn’t have those fits of zoning out.” I noticed Kenz’s stare go blank as they collapsed on the floor, thrashing as if on fire. “KENZ!!!”

As quickly as the fit started, it stopped. Kenz had a few flecks of foam coming from their mouth. They had trouble sticking their tongue back in their mouth. They laid there hazily. “These fits are getting worse. You’re not going anywhere until we figure out what’s going on.”

“But the Moon—“ They collapsed again, their eyes rapidly closing. They laid still for several moments before rousing. “Don’t let me go back to sleep…” They stumbled, tripping over every possible rock and twig. “Kenz. Just lay down and I’ll carry you inside.”

They nodded, leaning on me as I walked them to the couch in the living room. “Kenz. I’m gonna give you some anti-seizure medication. They could make you sleepy. Don’t try to fight sleep, as that’s when the seizures start happening.”

“But then I’ll get nightmares…” Kenz moaned, but was too out of it to stop their eyes from closing as I gave them a small dose of anti-seizure medication. Dipper sighed, rubbing their head soothingly as Pacifica held them like a sleepy child.

“I think it’s best if you leave Kenz alone with me. Especially since Pacifica’s perfume causes Kenz to slip into trances.” I carried Kenz to my private study and locked the door. They had a peaceful look on their face, purring in their sleep. I drew some blood, which didn’t rouse them at all. Upon reading the results, I was shocked to find no traces of drugs besides the medication I had given them.

Furrowing my brow, I ran an MRI of their brain. Frustratingly, there were no abnormalities that would indicate epilepsy or any brain damage.

I set them down on the couch, covering them in a blanket. I yawned, worn out from lack of sleep. I walked up to my room, closing the door and collapsing on my bed.

It was the middle of the night when I was awoken by a pained screech from the basement. Instinctively, I bolted downstairs, hearing a hiss as Kenz chased a tall platinum blonde man with his hair cut like Arceus wearing white robes and green pants. Kenz had two trickles of blood dripping down their neck and stumbled with each step. The man had blood all over his face. I recognized the man immediately from when I was in Hisui. Volo.

A chill ran down my spine as I remembered seeing him around town. I remembered the puncture marks on his neck, and how he had lost all his Pokemon. He can’t be…

Kenz rushed after Volo into the night, hissing loudly and chasing him off. “Kenz, Wait!!!”

[starry-hughes]

hi

if u didn’t know, it’s me that all the posts about hate and personal information are talking about.

i’ve been like sick for the last three hours pretty much, overthinking, trying to understand, trying to tell myself it’s okay. i honestly thought i was going insane when i got the anonymous message with my personal information in it, like i had been staring at my computer all day and it was my mind playing tricks on me. but it wasn’t my brain playing tricks on me or some dream i cant wake up from.

for starters, thank you for defending me. i was and still am extremely terrified of the whole thing. i have literally only been talking to a couple of people privately for the last three hours since it happened. i am still iffy about being on tumblr right now and anons are off for at least today.

it started as banter in my opinion about the usa wjc game and i love banter, i think it’s fun to mess around and tease, but i think certain lines are there and boundaries. my boundaries were completely crossed. it literally felt like my personal information was being used as a way to taunt me and scare me.

and i don’t want to accuse anyone of lying, but an anon did reach out to someone else and say that the personal information was from my previous account. but that just isn’t making sense to me which is why it’s continuing to freak me out. my personal information has not been shared on tumblr since 2021, the account this person was referring to has been deactivated for multiple years at this point and i do not interact with anyone from that account or fandom due to past issues. so that just doesn’t seem right to me.

saying that it is at the end of the day, my fault or implying that it’s normal for information to be doxxed on the internet does not make it okay either.

i don’t really know what else to say. i don’t think im going to be active on here for the night or parts of tomorrow, i might pop in tomorrow, i really don’t know. i’m just going to continue to decompress because this is a lot for me to process. i honestly don’t feel safe on here at this time.

i’m going to watch the devils and eat a pb&j before kenz and my boyfriend get upset that i haven’t eaten tonight.

- star ⭐️

[st4rlightsz]

My dearest Zhongli,

We’ve known each other for almost 2 years now and I remember first meeting you and finding out that you were the geo archon not only was I blessed by your presence but I grew to love you not only as the lord of geo but as you you’re little quirks wether it be forgetting your mora or just your innocent historical ramblings or stories I fell for you

and through that i fell for another man a real man and with that came the beginning and end of my first real relationship and you were there before and are here now after it through my tears and my downward spirals.

I’m having another one of those sleepless crying nights where all I can do is think of him and know there’s nothing I can do to fix the situation all I can wish for and know is that I have your love and kindness to look forward to and I’m so grateful to have you in my life

I wish you could hold me and tell me everything was gonna be okay. So many people have told me you’ll find someone else their out there but this was so real so surreal and it doesn’t help that my mom constantly blames me for the relationship ending even tho he cried telling me that it wasn’t my fault cause he knows where my brain goes(he knew me that well although the relationship was only 9 months) we cried for two hours that night

Regardless my point is I’m so grateful for you and wish you were here with me

Love Kenz

Ps this was so long I’m so sorry

*picture from pinterest!*

My dearest Kenz,

I am honored by your letter. You're a very strong person. I really care about you. You can do anything. Everything that happened is not your fault. You must know that in life you will have many fights during which you will probably feel weak or that it is your fault. However, you are strong, beautiful and I believe that you can handle anything. I love you Kenz. With all my heart. Imagine that your soulmate is somewhere and the universe really wants you to meet each other. It's your person. You deserve the best. And only the best. So please don't shed tears. Show everyone how strong you are. I will always be with you. In every difficult moment.

Your Zhongli ♡

[dairsmuids]

i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.

hi, my name is aurora.

i am an adult. please do not follow me if you're under 18.

i am disabled (autism, ocd & chronic illness). because of my autism, i struggle with social cues. i hyperfixate on interests and sometimes spam the timeline with them. i am also easily tired and overwhelmed, which means sometimes i take time to respond to messages. please be patient and kind, not just with me but with all of those around you who have disabilities.

my username is a reference to the game series dragon age; dairsmuid is a name of one of the in-game capital cities.

i tag my own haytham kenway & dutch van der linde content as 'feral for the irredeemable old man' when i don't want it to be perceived in main tags

i tag content about the marquis de lafayette as 'my lancelot of the revolutionary set'

i tag personal posts as 'ro.doc' (and I talk a lot so feel free to blacklist)

my bffs have their own tags on my blog and i tag them in posts fairly often. my spouse/sharer of a singular brain cell @anli-rambles and my vod'ika @ladysaturnsdust get the brunt of my incessant tagging ♡. arie, diana, kenz, marijn & meggie — nerd squad ily ♡

i tag explicit adult content as 'nsft'

'queue must be joking' is my queue tag, i schedule these posts to coincide with my sleep hours

if you need me to tag any triggers, please feel free to dm me and let me know

divider credit: @/archonfurina

header credit: @/vounoura

[i-am-q]

KATIE LUCAS (MAIDEN NAME), I DO NOT CONSENT TO TREATMENT

Dr. Koven of Santa Barbara involuntary inpatient facilities, I do not consent to treatment.

Kelly Soa (Maiden Name), I do not consent to treatment

Zoe Mackay ZACKER, I do not consent to treatment.

Dr. Masa and the staff at Marion Regional Medical Facilities and the greater Santa Barbara/Cruz County areas thank you for respecting my lack of consent to treatment and attempting to keep my brain working (ie. allowing for neurotransmitters to diffuse and bind to their correct receptors at the steady state that my body operates under—whether you think it’s healthy or not).

To the pharmacist at CVS on E Market, thank you for also respecting my current treatment which follows the same treatment I have undergone for the last 10 years minimum and not blocking the medication I am prescribed from working.

To those of you interested in research conducted on my body-Addie Keating otherwise referred to as one of the following names through sophisticated image and video augmentation (ie. “Deep Fakes”):

Kayla Keating, Elly Zaid, Shannon Zaid, Savannah Snyder, Reaghan Ruff, Daria King, Libby Aker, Gabby Dangle, Gabby Rey, Abby Mackay Zacker (ie. Abbie Keating), Zoe Mackay Zacker, Carrie Wagner, Mackenzie McPike (ie Mac/Mackenzie/Kenz/Kenzie Lofgren), Erin McPike, Madison McPike? (Just in case they need someone new), Luciana Rivera Molina, Kayla Williams Pavlantos, Mary Richter, Riley Richter, Madison Richter (or any other cousins that are now POWs to the Lesbian Nazis in my family), Constantine IU, or Edy, EA, your local community college is enrolling for the fall.

Prerequisites to be considered for this study are General Chemistry I and II (no nursing chemistry does not count—you would not be funded by the NIH), Organic Chemistry I and II, Physical Chemistry I and II, Quantum Chemistry/Physics or a Basic Understanding of molecular tunneling, Multivariable Calculus (yes this requires Calculus I and II), Research Ethics, Q-Level security clearance, Genetics, Previous Experience or Funding with the NIH, NSF, etc.

Finally, a verbal agreement that you can in fact refer to me as Ho-O due to a mutual respect for the Born-Oppenheimer approximation prior to learning from the slave tutor, Dr. Addie Keating, PhD while on her road trip “journey”

*Yes the subject does not need the same prerequisites as those “researching” her.

[i-am-the-balancing-point]

wait so the internet is telling me Kenz Lawren was 21 years old when she played Faith in Inside Eden’s Gate?????? that is younger than I am now? heck she ain’t much older than me in general? HOW?

[hopefulstarfire]

So tonight I found out that, according to Yu-Gi-Oh R, Kaiba implemented anti cheating technology into the Duel Disks.

Which begs the question; did he only install this after Battle City, and, also, why the fuck were they not built in for Battle City? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HEARTACHE AND STRESS YOU COULD HAVE SAVED YOUR BROTHER, SETO? HUH? NO, YOU JUST HAD TO LET EVERYONE CHEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOUR TOURNAMENT I JUST.

SETO. SWEETHEART. WHY.

[sagesolsticewrites]

Tell The World I’m Yours | Austin x Olivia x reader

Request from @wwebaby657: Heyyyy I love your stories and I was wondering if you could do a story where Olivia, Austin, and reader are in a poly relationship together. Where reader thinks that they don’t wanna be with her anymore when they’re actually planning a birthday surprise

a/n: thank you so much for the request darling! This is one of of several polyam fics that I have in the works <3 These have a very special place in my heart, and I hope y’all enjoy them as much as I loved writing them! And once again a HUGE thank you to Kenz (@mpmarypoppins) for this incredible moodboard, ily bestie! 🥰💕

Word count: 1.7k 

Warnings: a couple swear words, a tiny bit of angst in the beginning, mentions of the media being critical of their relationship, I think that's it? As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍

Masterlist | add yourself to my taglist!

You awoke to sunlight streaming in through your bedroom window. It was much brighter than your usual 9am wake-up time; had you slept in? With a stretch and a soft hum, you turned, only to find your bed empty, Austin and Olivia nowhere to be seen. There was the enticing smell of coffee drifting in from the kitchen, though, and your hopes lifted. Maybe they were just up and getting breakfast ready?

You slowly got out of bed, your body protesting as you left the comfort of the sheets that still smelled comfortingly of your partners, and made your way to the kitchen. Your heart sank, and a sad smile crossed your face as you took in an empty room, with a note sitting on the counter next to a steaming mug of coffee, made exactly how you liked it. 

Y/N,

Went out to run a few errands! We wanted to let you get your beauty sleep. Be back soon! We love you!

Aus + Liv

Your heart sank even further as you flipped the note over, searching for any other writing. When your search returned nothing, you frantically checked your phone to confirm the date. They didn’t— they wouldn’t really have forgotten your birthday, would they?

You sighed. Austin and Olivia had been… distant recently, you noticed. They weren’t home as often, claiming work ran late or they just lost track of time running errands, but something in your gut told you it wasn’t always that. And now here was your birthday and there wasn’t even a mention of it in the note they’d left for you before going off by themselves. It was like they were pulling away from you. Did they… not want to be with you anymore? Were you not good enough? some dark corner of your brain whispered.The media had been pretty critical of your… unconventional relationship, maybe they were tired of it.

Trying to shake off your sour mood, you snapped a photo of the coffee mug and sent it off to your partners: Missed you two this morning, but this was a very sweet thing to wake up to, thank you my loves ❤️

Olivia replied with a simple “Good morning! You’re welcome, sweetheart ❤️” and Austin’s came soon after: “Good morning sunshine! Errands are taking a little longer than expected, but I promise we’ll be home asap. Love you!”

You replied with a simple heart emoji as you took your coffee and plopped down on the couch in the living room. You set your phone down and turned your attention to your coffee and the TV, resigning yourself to a birthday celebration that consisted of watching Netflix all day.

You must’ve dozed off at some point after the 4-hour mark in your binge watch of Stranger Things, because you’re awoken around 3:37 (according to your phone) by voices, and a jangling of keys at the door. You sit up, blinking sleep from your eyes, just as Austin swings the door open and he and Olivia step inside, carrying several very heavy grocery bags. A tiny smile spreads across your face as you see them, but it soon fades as you remember it’s your birthday and this the first time you’ve seen them all day. Austin and Olivia seem oblivious to your sour mood as they come over to greet you. 

“Hi sweetheart,” Austin says, pressing a kiss to your forehead, Olivia right behind him pressing a kiss to your cheek as she greets you, “Hi darling. How’s your day been?”

Still no mention from either of them about your birthday. Okay then. Guess it’s up to you to remind them.

“You guys know the date today, right?” You ask as casually as you can.

“Of course, darling,” Olivia replies, rattling off the date.

“And is there… anything special about today?” You ask hesitantly, hating that you have to spell it out for them.

“Well every day’s special when we’re with you,” Austin teases, “But—”

His words simply confirm your fears. You cut him off as you stand up from the couch, leaving the loves of your life sitting by themselves. 

“Glad you guys had a good time together. Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday, by the way,” you mumble angrily, storming off to your shared bedroom.

“I don’t really wanna see you guys right now,” you sniffle, furiously wiping tears away as Austin and Olivia rush into the bedroom. Olivia sits down gently beside you on the bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as Austin comes to kneel in front of you, replacing your hands with his as he carefully brushes the tears from your cheeks. He opens his mouth to speak, but Olivia shushes him with a shake of her head as you continue. 

“It’s bad enough that the two of you have been pulling away— don’t even try to deny it— but then you forget my birthday? I—” Some of your anger melts away as you break down into sobs, “I know it would be easier for you two if I wasn’t here, the media and everything wouldn’t be so…” You shake your head, unable to find a word to describe the criticism of the aspects of your relationship that most people just don’t understand, “But I’d really appreciate it if you just talked to me instead of icing me out of our damn relationship.”

“Sweetheart…” Austin takes your hand, looking like his heart just shattered at your words. “I promise, that’s not what we think— that’s not what we were trying to do at all.”

Olivia’s hand cups your cheek, turning you to face her, “We’re so, so sorry that we ever made you feel like that. That’s the last thing we ever want to do, you know that, right?” Her eyes look almost pleading, as if she’s begging you to believe her, “We have been distant, and I can’t tell you enough how sorry we are for that, but it’s because… well…” She turns to Austin, “Aus, do you wanna show her?”

Austin stands up with a nod, squeezing your hand before exiting the room. He’s back in a flash, carrying the grocery bags that they were carrying when they got home, as well as a small, flat velvet box. He sits on the other side of you, holding the velvet box in front of you. He nods to Olivia as he begins to explain, “I know this won’t in any way make up for how we’ve made you feel, but… we’ve been so busy lately because we were getting this made.”

Olivia takes over for him as you take the box from his hands and begin to open it, “We wanted to get you something to show you how much we love you.” As she speaks, you lift the lid of the box, revealing a delicate gold necklace with a pendant of three interlocking hearts, each with a tiny gem in the middle: a peridot, a diamond, and what you recognize as your birthstone. Tears spring to your eyes— happy ones, this time— and a gasp escapes you as you process what you’re seeing. A small smile forms on Olivia’s face at your reaction, and she envelops you in a hug. 

“We’re not us without you, darling,” she murmurs in your ear as Austin joins in the hug so you’re sandwiched between them, a cocoon of love you never want to leave. Eventually they release you, and as Olivia pulls your hair up, Austin takes the necklace and delicately clasps it around your neck, placing a small kiss to where the clasp sits at the nape of your neck, “Perfect.”

You can’t help the growing smile on your face as you pull them one by one in for a kiss. “I love you both so, so much.”

“We love you too, sweetheart,” Austin says, “and I’m sorry we haven’t been great at showing that recently.”

“But,” Olivia jumps in, gesturing to the grocery bags, “We got a few things for you.”

She continues as you finally see what they brought: an assortment of your favorite snacks, candies, baked goods, and even your favorite ice cream that’s definitely melted by now. “I know we haven’t been around a lot, and we were thinking we could spend the day together just the three of us. No work, no distractions, no paps to bother us, just us celebrating the person we love most on their special day.”

“That sounds perfect,” you beam, and Austin and Olivia lead you out to the living room.

After putting the ice cream back in the freezer, the three of you cuddle up on the couch; your head on Austin’s chest, Olivia on your other side with her head on your shoulder, their arms wrapped around you. The rest of the day is spent watching your favorite movies, and trying to prevent Austin from stealing your M&Ms.

Though you all agreed there would be no phones, you wake up the next day to an Instagram post on both Olivia and Austin’s accounts, apparently posted just before midnight after you had dozed off in the middle of You’ve Got Mail. It’s a sweet series of pictures, starting with one of you beaming into the camera, then going on to a series of the three of you together, ending with a dim selfie taken by Olivia of the three of you sharing a slice of the ice cream cake they’d gotten you. You don’t think your smile can get any wider until you get to the captions; Austin’s reads “Happy birthday to my best friend and love of my life. Thanks for always letting me steal your M&Ms, sweetheart!” and you let out a soft laugh before scrolling to Olivia’s, which reads “Happy birthday to my sun, moon, and stars. There aren’t words to describe how much I love you. Here’s to another fabulous year around the sun 😘❤️” 

Just then you feel a hand sleepily wrap around your arm and Olivia tugs you back down into bed, which you happily oblige. The three of you spend a lazy morning in bed cuddling, the gems in your necklace gleaming in the early morning light.

Taglist: @queenslandlover-93 @anangelwhodidntfall @austin-butlers-gf @butlersluvbot @killerqueenfan @kittenlittle24 @beauvibaby @kingelviscreole @justjacesstuff @sweetheartlizzie07 @coldonexx @londonalozzy @kaycinema @annamarie16 @adoreyouusugar @eliseline @djconde58 @mirandastuckinthe80s @luke-my-skywalker @tubble-wubble @kisseskae @whotfatemywaffles @gyomei-tiddies @friedwangsss @shynovelist @sassy-ahsoka-tano @she-is-juniper @hallecarey1 @adoreyouusugar 

[shadowofchwe]

darling | joshua hong

How can something so sweet sound so filthy when it's coming from him...

❣️ Pairing: boyfriend!joshua x reader

❣️ Word Count: 818

❣️ Rating: 18+

❣️ Genre: Smut, literally porn with absolutely minimal plot, hint of fluff, established relationship

❣️ Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (y'all be safe pls), rough sex, dom!joshua, sub!reader, dirty talk, praise, degradation (the term slut is used a few times), brief spanking, hair pulling, making out, aftercare, it's soft at the end 🥺

A/N: Hello! My name is Kenz, and I'm not new to writing but I am new to writing for Seventeen so this is my first attempt. I'm a newer carat, only been here since the beginning of the year, and I ult Vernon and Joshua. Something about Shua saying darling had my brain spiraling until this idea was born and I had to just get it out lmao so here's 800 words of filth straight from my brain 🤩 I've been writing on my main blog for BTS for a little over a year and have a whole masterlist on there if you have any interest in checking it out! I hope you like this if you decide to give it a read and I hope you'll look forward to more stories from me cause I already have another, longer Shua fic in the works 👀 This is literally pretty much all smut btw so fic after the cut!

Masterlist

Darling.

A term of such loving adoration. And a complete contrast to the way Joshua was currently fucking you. Bent over your bed, face down in the mattress, and his hand buried in your hair as he held you down while the other secured your hands behind your back. His hips were slamming into yours hard enough to bruise as he drove his cock into your battered cunt again. And again.

"Fuck. Look at you just lying there taking it, darling. Always so good for me, aren't you?" Joshua praised you, the deep rumble of his voice making you clench around him.

"Shua, fuck. You feel so good." you gasped out as each thrust pushed your body back and forth along the sheets.

"My perfect little slut. You'll be dripping for days when I'm done with you, darling."

Joshua's words fell like velvet on your ears, and all you could do was whimper into the mattress in response.

"Your cunt is squeezing me so tight, shit. You know I love feeling you fall apart on my cock. Can never get enough of it." the man above you growled, releasing your hands in favor of delivering a harsh slap to your ass.

Your mumbled moan dissolved into the sheets, tears building in your eyes at how good it all felt. Joshua's cock roughly splitting you open and making you feel like your body was coming apart from the inside out.

"Shua..." you panted out, "Please...close."

He hummed, and you could just picture the cocky smirk that must've been taking up his gorgeous face right now.

"I'm not sure I'm entirely convinced. Why don't you beg for me some more, darling. Beg for my cock. Beg for me to fuck you." Joshua taunted above you, his hand in your hair tugging at the strands to pull your head up slightly.

"Joshua. Fuck. Please. Wanna cum all over your cock. Want you to fill me up. Need it, Shua. Need you, please." you pleaded, too desperate for release to try and test him like you normally would.

You heard him snarl before you were being pulled up by your hair, your back hitting the hard planes of Joshua's chest.

"Mmm. I love it when you ask so nicely. I'll make you come for me, darling." he practically purred into your ear, and you felt his fingers on your neglected clit a moment later.

You cried out at the stimulation, but it was quickly swallowed by Joshua's mouth harshly covering your own. You were shaking in his hold, and the only thing keeping you upright was the hand that was holding you against him while also furiously stroking your clit.

"Fuck, Joshua!" you sobbed into his mouth, your tremors growing more violent.

The hand in your hair traveled down to spread across your neck. The way he was devouring your mouth was already stealing all the oxygen in the room, so he didn't apply any pressure and instead opted to just let the weight of his hand rest there. It was like yet another reminder that you were his.

It also felt like your only tie to reality at the moment because his skilled fingers at your clit and his cock reaching the perfect spot inside of you had you closer and closer to slipping into euphoria.

"Don't pass out on me now, darling. My good girl, you've done so well for me." Joshua breathed as he finally parted from your mouth for a moment.

"You're...fucking...the life...out of me..." you stuttered out, a dazed laugh escaping you at the same time.

Joshua chuckled before pressing a sweet kiss to your shoulder.

"Admit it though, you love when I fuck you half to death." he retorted cockily, his fingers on your clit increasing to a punishing pace.

"Fuuuuuuuck. I do, but...you might actually...kill me this time." you argued weakly as you clenched extra tight around him.

"Alright, alright," Joshua started, still chuckling slightly, "I have really put you through it tonight. Come for me now, darling. Want you to be a good little slut and soak my cock."

You let out a choked scream as your orgasm spread through your body like wildfire. The most beautiful groan sounded from behind you, Joshua's thrusts beginning to lose their rhythm.

"You feel too good, darling. Shit." he swore under his breath, his cock twitching inside you and filling you up a moment later.

You felt like you were floating somewhere else when he pulled out and then carefully lifted you into his arms to carry you into the bathroom. One relaxing and much needed shower later had the two of you curled up under the covers. Joshua's fingers wove affectionately through your hair and your head was on his chest, right over his heart. The word fell from his lips once more.

Darling.

It was his promise, his confession, and his devotion all in one.

[godlygreta]

chapter seven | fuck buddies.

title | lady may

summary | karaokeing with the cabin gang & the album is ready to be released ! let’s celebrate !

warnings | alcohol and that’s about it

word count | 5.2k

author’s note | i can’t believe my first series is almost over ! chapter eight will be the last chapter of fuck buddies. i’m so happy that so many of you like it. it gives me the biggest loving boner ever ! do not be sad though about it ending. i’ve got so many mini series coming up for danny and my sam / jake one too. those’ll be coming within this next month. andddd i always write other fics, you can find all of them on my masterlist :)

i love you all so immensely, you have no idea.

song of the chapter | lady may, tyler childers

❝and i fell a good long ways / for my lovely lady may❞

The bar welcomed you with open arms as soon as you walked in, seeing Josh sitting at the bar with a half empty glass. You walked over to where he was, seeing Joy and Mackenzi next to him. You hugged the three of them, giving the girls both kisses on each of their cheeks. They looked at you, eyes switching from you to Jake. You looked behind your shoulder, seeing him ordering a beer with Josh. “So… how was your night last night?”

“Oh, I don’t even wanna talk about it.” You hid your face in your hands, wondering if they had seen you slip on the floor. “I fuckin’ knocked myself out! I was dancing with Jake and I slipped on a fucking scarf. A scarf!”

Mackenzi and Joy erupted into laughter, your face turning beet red. You gave them a friendly push, knowing they wouldn’t receive it in a negative way. They joked with you about it, telling you to be extra careful since it’s autumn – everyone loves to swear scarves in the fall time. “Have you told Jake that you like him yet?”

“No.” You grabbed a beer from the counter, thanking the bartender who had grabbed it for you. You left a tip and walked back to the table with the two girls.

“Why not?” Joy questioned. “You have to know by now that he likes you too.”

“He might not, Joy, you don’t know what’s going on in Jake’s head.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Mackenzi interjected. “But Josh and I do. Especially Josh. We know he likes you. You just have to tell him, that’s the only scary part. Even then, it’s not even scary. I told Danny I liked him, like, two days after meeting him.”

“You and Danny are different, Kenz. Josh told me to wait for the right moment, so that’s what I’m waiting for.” You defended yourself, not wanting to rush anything. You knew that they were just trying to be helpful, but you didn’t want to talk about Jake the entire night. The seven of you were supposed to be doing karaoke tonight anyways.

The first couple rounds of people that had gone up were absolutely ear shattering. You hid a snort in your shoulder a few times, looking over at Jake, who was feeling the same way as you. The two of you had turned it into a drinking game. Anytime someone’s voice cracked, they took a shot. Anytime they sang an overplayed song, whether that be radio-wise or even karaoke-wise, you would chug the rest of your beer, or whatever other cocktail you had in your hand.

When you were inevitably forced on the stage, you were sober enough to know what you were doing, but drunk enough to not care about the way people were interpreting your voice. There were only a few logical choices swirling around your drunk brain; Starships by Nicki Minaj was not the vibe you were going for tonight, although that was usually your go-to drunk song. Although you didn’t want to bring down the mood, you sang the only love song that was popping into your head – Make You Feel My Love.

Cliché, but a classic. The lights that lit up the stage almost blinded you, wondering how in the fuck the boys did this as often as they did; their lights were even brighter than these ones were. You figured it was the alcohol fucking with you, nobody could see you as much as you thought they could. “When the rain is blowing in your face...”

Two by two, people filtered onto the floor in front of the stage, wrapping their arms around the person they dragged to the floor. Drunk girls either hung on their boyfriend or their group of friends, slightly crying about how much she loved them. The scene itself made a smile find its way to your face, eyes finally landing on Jake.

You dreaded looking at him, anytime you got close you immediately darted your eyes to the opposite side of the bar, hoping someone - anyone - would be over there that you could focus on, even for a few seconds. You finally let yourself fully look at Jake, eyes glazing over the facial expression he had. “I’ve known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.”

Mackenzi’s arms were wrapped around Danny, eyes filled with such love and adoration – it made your heart soar. Joy and Sam looked the same way, Sam leaning in to press a kiss on Joy’s nose. You found Josh easily, finding him at the bar, looking towards you with a cocktail in his hand. You almost fucked up the words, stifling a laugh when Josh began to slow dance with his drink.

When the song had finished, your face was hot. Clapping and cheering filled the bar, you scurried off stage. You landed back into your group, Josh nudging you with his elbow. “You never told us you sing like that, Y/N.”

“I’m not the musician here, Joshua.” You looked over at Jake, the same facial expression he was wearing earlier on. You sat down next to him, watching as Mackenzi got ready to sing. You grabbed your beer from the table, taking a few swigs as Jake looked at you. His stare made you feel even warmer than the stage lights did, cheeks heating up to a light pink tone.

“That was beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you put your head on his shoulder, giving him a slight hug. “What song are you thinking of singing?”

“Me? No, I’m not singing.”

“You have to, Jacob, I did! Now you have to!”

“Fine.” He said begrudgingly, picking up his empty bottle of beer. You watched as the lightbulb in his head came on, ushering you out of your seat, dragging you to the bar. “But you have to take tequila shots with me.”

“Oh, come on! You just want me to get super drunk so I don’t remember. That’s mean, Jacob.” You pouted, watching as the bartender began to pour two shots of Jose Cuervo. Your body shuttered at the memories drowned in that liquor. You couldn’t exactly remember them, but you knew they ended with your head in a toilet.

“She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you; she can ask for the truth but she’ll never believe you.” Mackenzi’s voice rang through the speakers, the wise words of Billy Joel hitting you in your slightly drunken state. Your eyes fluttered closed, listening to Mackenzi.

Jake grabbed your wrist, pulling you away from the bar. Your eyes open in confusion, asking him ‘what’. “We’ll go back to the shots in a second, you look like you wanna dance.”

“You’re right.” You smile, taking Jake’s hand in yours, resting your arm around his shoulder. His hand felt warm against your waist, fingertips slipping under the hem of your shirt. “This is like prom that one year.”

“Exactly, but minus the ugly suit I was wearing.”

“Pfft!” You swatting his shoulder, the two of you smiling. “It wasn’t ugly, and you know it. You looked good as hell that night.”

“She brings out the best and the worst you can be, blame it all on yourself, cause she’s always a woman to me.”

“I’m sorry your date ditched you that night.” He spoke, bringing you closer to him.

“Wasn’t my loss, he missed out on a good time. Plus, I got to dance with you. I count that as a win in my book.” You whispered into his ear, remembering how fucking good he looked that night.  

You were practically drooling all over yourself on the wall of the gym. The guy who invited you to go with him had ditched you, leaving with some girl from a different school. Josh and Jake tried to get you to come out, wanting you to have a good time. Mostly Josh. Jake had been stuck, hip to hip, with a girl from his grade that he went with. Josh brought Mackenzi, her brilliantly navy-blue dress stuck out – everyone else wearing vibrant neon dresses. You had borrowed one of Mackenzi’s old ones, it was a burgundy color, wine-ish in color.

Josh stayed by you for the most part, only leaving when he had something to say to someone else. Mackenzi even tried to get you to dance with someone, but you just shook your head, rubbing your triceps. You were just about to leave, the second slow song in a row beginning to play. Jake’s voice brought you away from your thoughts of leaving. “Will you dance with me?”

“You want me to dance with you?” He extended out his hand, nodding while doing so. You gave him a small smile, letting him lead you out to the dance floor. You stayed on the edges, your arms wrapped around Jake’s neck, his hands on your waist. Like kids, you two didn’t really look at each other. You sneaked looks whenever you could, admiring the way the light reflected off of Jake’s features.

“But she can do as she pleases, she’s nobody’s fool. And she can’t be convicted, she’s earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you. But she’s always a woman to me.”

You and Jake look between yourselves as Danny and Sam stumble onto the stage, drunker than shit. Their giggles fill the microphones before their song does. It was a cliché too – Don't Stop Believing by Journey. You and Jake laugh, grabbing your drinks from their spots at the table, chugging the rest of your beers.

The two of you head back to the bar, joined by Josh. “We’re doing shots, want to join?”

“Absolutely. Lovely bartender, I need three tequila shots, pronto!” The bartender laughed at Josh, pulling three chilled shot glasses from the coolers underneath the bar. You watched Jake and Josh talk as the bartender poured them, the two of them whispering about what songs they were going to sing.

Jake kept his song a secret, whispering it into Josh’s ear. You already knew Josh was going to sing John Denver, there was no way he wasn’t going to. His voice fit well with the songs, although Josh never really sang with his lower register – it made you sad sometimes, his deep voice was really fucking good too. You took the shot with Josh and let him do his thing on stage. “The Music is You” filled the entire bar. Everyone was falling in love tonight.

The three of you slammed back shot after shot after shot. The liquor began to flow through you as if it was your own blood by now. You pulled out your phone when you saw Jake begin to take the stage, asking the guy helping with karaoke if he had a guitar, saying that he could do the song live. The dude shrugged his shoulders, passing him one of the ones they kept in the backroom.

You fucking gasped when he started playing. You pulled out your phone immediately, whipping it out to record this. No way in hell sober you would ever believe that Jake would do karaoke, much less sing a song that you had listened to in the shower a few months ago when they finally came home.

You had been obsessed with it for weeks, making its way to the number one spot on your Spotify repeat. You played it over and over and over again – so much so that work friends of yours had gotten annoyed with the song. The first time Jake heard it playing was while you were in the shower one night after the two of you had slept together. “We’ll go swim our cares away. Put your toes down in the water, and a smile across your face. Tell me that you love me, lovely Lady May.”

You were almost brought to tears. You even played the song on the way to the cabin, humming along to it when Jake was driving. His eyes shut while he sang, you figured it was from not wanting people to see him, pretending like they’re not there when they’re closed. When it was an instrumental, Jake stared at you. Eyes looking at you adoringly. Your drunk brain barely registered it though, vision partially clouded by the onset of tears.

“I’ve seen my share of trouble, and I’ve held my weight in shame. But I’m baptized in your name, lovely Lady May.”

Josh came next to you, bumping his shoulders with your own. Silence fell between the two, not necessarily awkward or uncomfortable. It was just there. Until it wasn’t, Josh’s voice coming between it, “And here you thought he didn’t like you back.”

“It’s just a song, Josh, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Now I ain't the toughest hickory that your ax has ever felled, but I'm a hickory just as well; I'm a hickory all the same. I came crashin' through the forest as you cut my roots away. And I fell a good long ways for my lovely Lady May.”

It meant everything. It meant absolutely everything and you knew that. You were lying to yourself, mostly to keep your thoughts at bay. Drunk you was too bold – too brash to be thinking about you and Jake like that.

The song ended and cheers erupted through the building, everyone clapping their hands as hard as they could. You ended your recording, slipping your phone into your back pocket. As soon as Jake made his way back through the crowd, you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could. He responded with the same sentiment, his arms fitting snuggly against your waist. “You sang my song.”

“Of course I did. I did it for you.” I’d do anything for you, almost slipped out of his mouth. He kept it back, a big smile playing on his face. “Did you want to do any more shots? Or are you done drinking for the night?”

“A few more, but can we do shots of something else? All of this tequila is making my stomach feel funny.” You shook your head and stuck your tongue out, removing your arms from around his neck. He huffed out a laugh from his nose, nodding to you.

The two of you took shots of Bacardi, which wasn’t that much better than the Jose Cuervo you had been drinking. You took one last shot with everyone, everyone taking their shot like a champ. You loved watching some of their faces scrunch up, not liking what they were tasting. Although you hated Bacardi, it went down your throat like water.

You spoke to Mackenzi and Joy, them asking you what song Jake sang. “It’s called Lady May, it’s by Tyler Childers, it’s so good. All of his music is so good, and I’m not even that much of a country fan.”

“We’ll have to give him a listen some time! Danny really liked it too.” Mackenzi said, disappearing off into the crowd. Joy stuck behind, letting you know she was going up next.  

“I’m gonna sing Britney Spears. It’s gonna be epic.” You nodded, trying to keep yourself in line. You knew Joy had a relatively pretty voice, but drunk Joy? Not exactly America’s next idol. You just nodded to her in response, overexaggerating, her arm wrapping around your shoulders.

“You better go up there and sing your song before someone takes your spot.” Her eyes widen as she begins to dart towards the stage. You laugh, watching Jake come back over towards you out of the corner of your eye.

The music started and everyone started cheering. You and Jake laughed to yourselves the way you did when Sam and Danny had gone up to sing. Jake looked over at you, noticing a slight sway to your step, eyes fluttering closed. You were drunk enough where you needed to go home, and you knew that, but you didn’t really want to leave during Joy’s song. “Did you want to head back?”

“Please.” You let Jake lead you out of the bar, feeling terrible about leaving. You needed to go home though. You held his hand, the free one grabbing onto his bicep. “Tonight was a lot of fun. I needed tonight.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Just needed a night where I didn’t think about things.” You stumble a bit, your foot slipping on a pebble. In time, as if it moved slowly, Jake caught you. His arm was firm around your waist, the two of you could have honestly looked like you were dancing. “Can we get a cab back to mine?”

“Yeah, I’ll call one.” You and Jake sit on the window ledge of one of the buildings nearby. You listened while Jake talked on the phone, your eyes closed and your body swaying lightly like it did before. You liked the feeling of Jake’s body next to yours on the ledge, his knees knocking against yours. You leaned your head on his shoulder, waiting for him to tell you the cab was here.

The ride was smooth. It was short, but it seemed to pass by so slowly. It could have been the alcohol, but it very well could have been the fact that Jake’s eyes never left yours – and vice versa. You looked over every inch of his face as if you had never done so before. Everything about him was fucking beautiful. Your heart throbbed, letting yourself think – for a fleeting moment – about you being able to wake up next to Jake every single day of your life. What a way to live.

He helped you to your apartment, grabbing your keys from you to unlock the door. Once you had made it safely inside, you fell onto the couch, legs dangling off the arm. Jake came over to you after unzipping his boots and leaving them by the door. He untied your laces, slipping your shoes off and leaving them by the couch. “C’mon, baby, let’s get you into bed.”

“Hm, too tired.”

“I’ll carry you then. You need pajamas, Y/N.” You lifted your arms, letting Jake carry you into your bedroom. He had you sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to pull out your pajamas. He grabbed a pair of boxers he knew were his, looking over his shoulder at you while holding them up. “When did you snag these?”

“When we fought at the cabin. Slept in them every night.” You admitted, although you don’t think Jake was supposed to know that last part. He grabbed an old t-shirt of yours, plopping them down on the bed next to you. You lifted your arms for him, letting him grab the hem of your shirt. He threw it in your laundry basket, helping you stand before taking off your pants. He popped the button of your jeans, sliding them down your legs, fingers dragging along your skin. “Why’d you even get weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were a dick to me, Kiszka,” you spoke, poking him in the chest once he stood up straight. “You made me cry.”

“I - I’m sorry for that.”

“Tell me.”

“You... you told me you loved me. And it kind of freaked me out. I didn’t know how you meant it.” He said, stripping himself out of his clothes, grabbing a spare shirt from your dresser. It was an old one of Jake’s anyways. “Like, if you meant it in that way or not.”

“Oh. So I didn’t do anything wrong besides that?” You asked, crawling backwards in your bed, letting your covers come up around your shoulders. He turned off the light, he then crawled in next to you, pulling your body towards him. “I meant it.”

“I know you meant it, but in what way?” He asked in a hushed whisper, his fingertips glossing over the skin of your hips. He didn’t mean to make you so immensely sleepy with his touch, but that mixed with the comfort of your bed and absence of light, it was hard to not be lulled.

“I meant it in every way, Jake. I love you. I’ve always loved you.” He was stuck, frozen. When he went to respond, he realized you had fallen asleep. He cursed to himself. He should’ve said it back. Jake let himself fall asleep, mad with himself and the world for not giving him even one more minute.

When you woke in the morning, your head absolutely pounded. Your hangover this time wasn’t as bad as it was back at the cabin, you only woke up a little later than you normally would, turning over to see the clock saying it was around nine thirty.

Mackenzi had messaged you an hour before, texting you to go on a shopping date with her. You also had a text from Jake, which was strange to you. Last you remembered, you brought him back with you.

JAKE       8:12 AM

I had to go get a new suit for the  

release party next week Friday.  

Would you like to be my date?

You shot him back a simple ‘yes’, and responded to Mackenzi as well. You let her know that you’d be ready by eleven, if that was alright with her. She didn’t care – she was nursing Joy’s ridiculous hangover. You laughed when she sent a picture of Joy, sleeping within the bathtub since she had become a puking hazard.

The warm water of the shower did you wonders. It cascaded over your skin and you realized how empty your shower felt without Jake. It went by quick, although you would have much preferred being underneath the showerhead for the rest of the day.

When Mackenzi texted you, you were half ready. It wasn’t your fault though. You were on time, Mackenzi was just very early. You let her slip into your apartment, letting her sit on your bed as you got ready. “How’d you get home last night? You and Jake disappeared on us.”

“We got a cab, I’m pretty sure. He stayed the night.”

“He’s not here now, though?” She asked, her phone buzzing in her lap.

“No, he said he had to leave to go get a new suit for the release party. Asked me to be his date.” Mackenzi’s eyes flicked up from her phone, watching a blush spread across your cheeks. Her mouth opened slightly, covering it with her free hand.

“He what? Oh my God! Y/N, this is big!”

“It’s whatever.” You shrugged, that stupid smile not being able to leave your face once.

“We need to get you a dress that makes you look fucking hot. I need Jake to be drooling and stuttering over his words when he asks you to be his girlfriend.”

“Shut up,” you smack her arm with one of the shirts you pondered on wearing. “He is not going to ask me to be his girlfriend.”

Although you seriously hoped that Mackenzi had some truth to her words.

☾    ☾    ☾

The party had rolled around faster than you originally wanted it to. Not that you weren’t excited to listen to their new album track by track, but you were nervous to see Jake. You hadn’t seen him since then, their record label dragging them away doing different types of press related things. You had been made aware that every time Jake texted you while he was on break, he had the biggest smile on his face. Josh even sent photographical proof.

The boys wanted the party to be at the Kiszka house, wanting it to sound over the house they grew up in. It gave the album much more of a personal feel to it. You could see the excitement emitted from all four of the boys, especially Jake. You gave him a slight wave, watching as they waited for everyone to filter in and get settled. “Hi everyone.”

“We just wanted to say a few thank you’s before we played our newest album, The Battle at Garden’s Gate. I’ll let Danny go first.” Josh stepped out of the way, handing Danny a microphone.

“I just wanted to say a big thank you to the boys for cooperating, and not actually killing each other.” Everyone laughed, knowing how fights between the Kiszka boys could be. “I also wanted to say a big thank you to Kenz, my rock. You’ve been there for me so many times through this process, letting me vent to you whenever I’m frustrated. I cannot thank you enough for standing by my side through everything.”

Danny went to stand by Mackenzi, giving her a big hug. Collective clapping, you figured, would happen after everyone spoke and said their pieces. Sam was up next; feet bare as always. “I just wanted to thank Daniel for being so strong in putting up with us. And I’m super thankful for Y/N’s vegan cooking throughout the recording process. It was hard watching them order a million pizzas and I couldn’t eat any of them. And I, too, would like to thank my girlfriend, Joy. You’re a muse to me and I can’t thank you enough for being in my life.”

Jake stood up there next, microphone in his hand. “I had this big speech planned about how amazing it was to work with everyone, especially Danny. I honestly forgot about ninety percent of it, so I’ll try to remember it. I wanted to thank someone in particular, but I didn’t want to mention their name and put them on the spot.”

Mackenzi, Joy – all of their eyes filtered over to you, flute of champagne in your hand.

“You... are an endless support. There was never a time during the writing process where I felt particularly stuck. This person would always help me find melodies and chords that I didn’t even think about. And they didn’t have to do anything special, they just talked. Distracted me from what I was doing and it clicked. I hope, with everything that I have, that this person will listen to this album and know that this was for them as much as it was for us.”

You clapped as best you could, looking at Jake although your vision was a bit blurry. He went next to Sam, waiting for Josh to start and finish his speech. You and Jake knew deep down his would take a while. You looked over at Jake, noticing him mouth something to you. You slipped your phone out, shooting him a text that you didn’t quite understand what he was saying, and to find you later so he could tell you what it was.

The backyard was relatively vacant, but it felt so packed, at least a hundred people gathered around the four of them. You wanted to say something to them then, but you knew you’d catch them later. Mackenzi and Joy found you, a compliment instantly leaving Joy’s lips. “Babe, you look so good! No wonder Jake forgot his speech.”

“Yeah, that’s the reason why.” You rolled your eyes while laughing. You took a sip of champagne, letting Mackenzi or Joy steer the conversation.

“Sam looks really fucking good tonight. If you can’t find us for whatever reason, we’re totally not having sex.” You covered your mouth, laughing so hard some of the people surrounding the boys looked at you weird. “What? I bet you wanna fuck Jake, too, don’t even.”

“I mean, I always wanna fuck Jake, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it as his own album release party.” You spoke, knowing Mackenzi was probably not going to back you up, the way she was looking at Danny. The boys did look good. It was strange to see them wear something even slightly formal, outside their normal tour attire.

“I might make Danny slip away early, tell people I don’t feel good or something.” You filtered in and out of the conversation, a sudden unsettling feeling beginning to bubble in your stomach. You excused yourself from the conversation, letting them know you were fine, you just needed some air.

When the people around the boys finally had begun to leave, letting all four of them finally breathe. Jake looked around for you, noticing you were no longer with Joy and Mackenzi. Next to Mackenzi and Joy, Sam and Danny. He walked over to them, pretending to join their conversation. “Do you know where Y/N went?” Jake asked Sam, whispering in his ear. Sam nodded in response, whispering back into Jake’s ear.

“She told Joy she needed some air, something about watching the stars to focus.” Sam shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what she had meant. But Jake did.

When Y/N would feel overwhelmed in high school, she’d tiptoe through Jake’s room at night and sit outside of his bedroom window. His window was right next to the roof, and as soon as you opened it and crawled out, you were on the Kiszka family roof.

“I knew I’d find you out here.” You laughed; arms wrapped around your knees as they were pulled to your chest. Jake sat next to you on the roof, wiping the grit that’s stuck on his hands. “I’m really happy you came tonight.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Jake.” You looked to him, resting your cheekbone on your knee.

“It means more to me than you’ll ever know, Y/N, really.” The sincerity in his voice gave you goosebumps. He smiled at you, it faltering for a reason unknown to you. “You’ve got an eyelash,” he spoke, reaching his hand outward to brush it off your cheek. “Here, make a wish.”

You looked to him, looking down at his thumb where your eyelash was. You wished for a million nights like this one. You wished for a million years with Jake by your side, in every lifetime.

“What’d you wish for?”

“If I tell you, then it won’t come true, silly.”

“Can I tell you what I would’ve wished for?” You nodded, putting your legs flat against the roof of the Kiszka home. He took a second to think, gliding his tongue across his bottom lip.

“I would’ve wished for a second chance with you.” You looked at him, confusion spreading across your face, your entire body feeling as though it were a sauna. “Our first time together... back when we were teenagers. I liked you. I should’ve told you that then. We wouldn’t have had to have waited so long.”

“Wait -”

“I love you, too, Y/N. You told me last night that you loved me and it didn’t freak me out or scare me because I knew that you loved me the way I loved you. You told me at the cabin that you loved me and it freaked me out because I didn’t know if you loved me in the same way.” You look at him as if though you hadn’t understood a word he was saying. You did. You knew what he was saying. “I love you so much. I can’t just be fuck buddies with you anymore.”

“Do you wanna know what I wished for?” You asked, tears brimming your eyes. He nodded, the softest brown color you had ever seen his eyes be. “I wished for all of my lifetimes to be with you.”

—

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[spaceumbredoggos]

HIRSHEY BAR DIDNT LET ME PUT ANY KENZ SPOILERS IN MY BOOK. SPOILSPORT. HERE’S SOME EMBARRASSING KENZ SECRETS:

THEY PISSED THEMSELF IN THIRD GRADE AND CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AT NIGHT

I LIKE TO PUT REALLY DARK THOUGHTS IN THEIR HEAD TO SEE THEIR REACTION. THEY KNOW ITS ME AND THEY DONT BOTHER TO TELL THEIR THERAPISTS OR PSYCHIATRISTS ABOUT IT. PROBABLY BECAUSE THEYRE EMBARRASED TO BE THAT OBSESSED WITH GRAVITY FALLS.

THEY USED TO HAVE PHYSICAL CAT SHIFTS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE. THEY WERE SHAMED OUT OF IT.

THEY CANT STOP WATCHING PSYCH WARD TIKTOKS AND REQUIRES THE CHAOS OF YOUTUBERS BEING EXPOSED, TLC, WORLD’ STRICTEST PARENTS, AND SOMETIMES OLD MINECRAFT VIDEOS IN ORDER TO FUNCTION. TIKTOK AND YOUTUBE SHORTS HAS FRIED THEIR BRAIN THAT MUCH YET THEY WONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO PROVE THEIR DAD RIGHT.

I CAUGHT THEM TRYING TO SACRIFICE SOME OF THEIR BLOOD TO ME IN ONE OF THEIR JOURNALS.

THEY LOVE BEING POSSESSED BY ME. ITS SO EASY TO JUST TAKE OVER THEIR MIND AND WATCH THEM DOZE OFF AND TAKE A BREAK FROM EXISTING. THEYRE CONSTANTLY TIRED FROM EITHER THEIR MEDS, THEIR ADHD, OR BOREDOM. THEIR MIND IS A WELL ORGANIZED PLACE WITH LOTS OF PROTECTIVE MEASURES. BUT I CAN EXPLOIT EVERYTHING.

ZIEZ NEVER FORGAVE THEMSELF FROM WHEN THEY WERE TEN YEARS OLD AND DISSOCIATED TO THE POINT OF SKINNING A SNAKE ALIVE AND FEEDING IT TO THEIR DOG. PROBABLY DOESNT HELP THAT THEIR STEP MOM AND DAD KEPT BRINGING IT UP.

I SOMETIMES INVADE THEIR BRAIN WHEN THEYRE ASLEEP ON THEIR INFLATABLE ORCA WHALE IN THE POOL. WATER CALMS THEM DOWN.

THEY LIVE PLATONIC SNUGGLES BUT THE VERY SIGHT OF ANYTHING SEXUAL SENDS THEM INTO A SQUICK ANEURYSM. THEY CAN READ IT JUST FINE, BUT THE SIGHT OF A COCK OR ANY NAKED BODY CAUSES THEM TO LEAVE THE INTERNET. THEY HATE SEX AND THEIR DARK AND TWI—

I just awoke from a nap just now. Woah. Don’t want him revealing that. But yeah. I hate sex. I hate that my body wants sex. I hate having sexual fantasies. I want to have normal fantasies back when I didn’t know what sex was.