#i just finished good omens and i am being consumed by it

[squash1]

gansey: “blue says we’re like an old married couple”

ronan: “well you are.”

gansey: “not me and blue, me and you!!”

[drconstellation]

Once and Future Royalty

Just, stay with me on this one. I know its going to look crazy at the start, but trust me, I know where I'm going.

It all started with the 537AD scene in Wessex in the opening montage of "Hard Times," S1E3. Yeah, the one where Aziraphale is supposed to be a knight of the Round Table and Crowley is role-playing the Black Knight, and they are both so super-squeaky shiny clean - not a speck of dirt or mud on them. wtf! It looks out of place, unrealistic, and was bugging the crap out of me, like a stone in your shoe. It just didn't fit. I mean, why put a myth, a legend, into that sequence? Oh, OK, yeah, the preceding stories from the Bible, like the Garden of Eden and the Flood, aren't "myths" as well, you say? Hmm. In the context of the Good Omens AU, being a biblical based story, they belong there far more than the legend of King Arthur.

King Arthur, who supposedly united Britain under his rule during the late 5th century and early 6th century, was shown to have the divine right to rule by wielding the mighty sword Excalibur. Some stories tell of Arthur pulling Excalibur from a stone. Some tell of him receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Either way, it was bestowed upon him by divine grace. Despite his triumph in battle, he left no heirs, as his queen, the fair Guinevere, was barren. She had a long-running love affair with the greatest knight of the court, Sir Lancelot, but despite this being an open secret in court Arthur would not put her aside. The knights of the Round Table in the court of Camelot were near-paragons of Christian virtue, and there are many tales of their search for the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper of Jesus Christ.

In the end, mortally wounded in battle, Arthur was taken away for healing, and never seen again. It was said he would return when Britain was at it most direst hour to save the day once more. A "messianic" return.

The Once and Future King.

Now, I'm no Arthurian novice; I drank up all of T. H. White as a teenager, read the Dark is Rising multiple times, Marion Zimmer Bradley's interpretation and what ever else I could lay my hands on for a good couple of decades. And there is LOTS of King Arthur stuff around. You are not left wanting for anything new to read or consume. And I'll bet there are a fair few of you also out there who know a quite bit about the legend as well. Oh, and I can't tell you how many times I have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I still walk around quoting it day-to-day, like the good little Gen-Xer I am, having grown up on that stuff. So I really should have listened to my intuition when bits of Monty Python kept popping up in my brain in response to other parts of GO I was thinking about. (Staaay, I said, stay with me here....)

I kept chewing away furiously on the Wessex problem, growling in feral frustration at it, but also kept reading and sorting out some other ideas and metas at the same time. Eventually I found the key in a tiny little post, about a small detail in the 1941 Blitz episode S2E4, of all places. I wanted to slap myself with how much was staring me in the face so obviously once the door opened. And the damn beauty of it is, that I already written about some it, out of context, without knowing the why.

OK. Where to start this journey...hmmm, back to Monty Python, because, guess what - the Wessex scene is actually riffing off one the more famous skits out the the Holy Grail. The scene is a masterpiece of political satire, from start to finish, but the relevant part here is this sequence:

In case you missed the salient points: Arthur claims he is king by divine providence, because he was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Dennis the peasant protests this waterlogged method of determination, mentioning ponds, watery tarts and a moistened... well, I hope you get the idea about where this is going.

Meanwhile, in 537AD, Wessex, as the mist swirls around them:

"It is a bit damp," complains a shiny silver Aziraphale.

Yes, Excalibur would be a bit damp after it emerged from the Lake. (vidavalor! Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm trying to have a serious discussion here! Please! And I wasn't even going to go anywhere near what the sword in the stone is really meant to be referring to...it's not even relevant to the discussion at hand, I swear! Well, there is going to be sexual relations mentioned but - oh, never mind...)

Right. Where were we. Lets leave those super-clean elite pretendy knights to swim off through the swirling mist back to their dry homes to write and file reports to head office, along with Patsy and the hired Igors, and Dennis can keep playing in his lovely muddy filth after he finishes protesting being repressed by the divinely-deluded Arthur. I've got a bit more to say about what Aziraphale and Crowley might represent here later but you need some more context first, so lets move on. I just needed to show you the first bit so you can see the Arthurian theme stretches across both S1 and S2, and will likely appear in S3 as well. More about that towards the end.

Ah, before I forget...another ref from the Holy Grail we need to cover:

This GIF, unfortunately, doesn't have the full exchange between the peasants, which is this:

P1: "Who's that then?" P2: "I don't know. Must be a king." P1: "How can you tell?" P2: "Because he doesn't have any shit on him."

Ah. Er. OH!

Have you made the connection?

Who have I been emphasizing as being unusually clean in their Arthurian setting? That's right, Aziraphale and Crowley.

What's this implying? That they are royalty. Celestial royalty. Maybe not kings, but how about princes? You know how we've been discussing whether Crowley was a once at least an Archangel, and there is even a hint that he was a fallen prince of Heaven given during the replay of Gabriel's trial? (Not the prince, but a prince - a seraphim) And that Aziraphale may have once been Raphael, and may be again in the future? Once and future royalty. To me it adds weight to the past discussion, and helps to explain the assumed authority expressed in these two scenes here: On the left, Aziraphale takes control inside the book shop as the angels and demons argue who is going to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub (finally found it after several months!) and on the right, Crowley is shouting at the assembling demons in the street that they are "out of order."

Onward, Patsy. (I hope you're still with me.)

1941, the Blitz part 2, minisode.

We've found Excalibur! On to Camelot!

[Edit note: I've added a few GIFs and screen shots into the sequence of parallels above because I was thinking over a few things since I posted and felt this actually sat better. To try and explain, as they don't exactly match as I would like, in the Holy Grail movie, King Arthur and the knights he has gathered rock up at the foot of Camelot and gaze up in awe at it. "Camelot!" Arthur declares to the party. "Camelot!" Galahad echoes in excitement. And a third "Camelot!" comes from Lancelot. What do we get in GO? Aziraphale leaps out of the Bentley (Crowley's black horse) and declares "The theater! Sophocles! Shakespeare!" I swear, if you put the two side by side, they would match. It's not just a reminder of how much time Aziraphale has seen pass by, or that we are seeing a tragedy play out. But damn it, I could so just see Aziraphale attending a Sophocles performance in Athens back in the day...]

Camelot was King Arthur's castle and home of his court. In S2 of GO the Windmill Theater is established as our court of Camelot where our 1941 Blitz-era Arthurian drama is to play out, involving Furfur and the zombies.

Yes, poor old Furfur. Two's company, three's a crowd, as they say. Now we know we're in Camelot, we need to be reminded of the central tragedy of the Arthurian story, that ultimately led to the golden kingdom's fall. Lady Guinevere, Arthur's queen, famously loved Sir Lancelot, and the two were passionate lovers. It was essentially a love-triangle at the top, with Arthur being jilted, but he wouldn't/couldn't discard his queen. Where do we see this playing out in 1941?

Furfur, pleased with himself for catching an angel and a demon in the act of consorting together (with the help of the zombies,) barges into the backstage dressing room, and confronts the lovers with their crime. But who is playing who in the Arthurian love triangle? I would say Furfur is clearly caught in the role of Arthur here. Consider the following exchange:

FURFUR: Hmm, well, well, well… What have we here? AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to you. We did loads together. You use to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat. Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the Higher Powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the Infernal Code. Consulting and collaborating with an angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… [opens book] Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: [annoyed] Aziraphale

Furfur claims a past intimate relationship with Crowley, which Crowley spurns offhandedly. Crowley is playing Guinevere here, jilting Furfur/Arthur, which leaves the demon-smiting Aziraphale standing in for the handsome hero Lancelot (with his French connections, no less), and doesn't he make us weak at the knees when he drops his voice an octave in dominating disgust. (Is it suddenly getting hot in here...? Phew!)

Interestingly, looking back in S1 at 537AD Wessex, though, I would say that Crowley was Lancelot as the Black Knight, a role that Lancelot sometimes played in the legends, and Aziraphale would then be the fair maiden Guinevere. It certainly plays into Crowley's long term role of playing the knight who comes to the rescue of Aziraphale's princess in distress. Excalibur was no where in sight, perhaps still beneath the waters of the lake. Nor Arthur. Perhaps it was still too early in the story then...

I had originally suggested in my very first post that Furfur was given a stag as his demon avatar because he was wearing horns for being cuckolded by Crowley. But I wasn't quite thinking about it in context with the Arthurian legend! The stag is also often associated with royalty, plus while wandering around the medieval bestiary website that someone linked to, it interestingly notes that the enemy of the snake is the stag and the stork (Shax's avatar.) Ah ha!

So how can we extrapolate this knowledge into a possible appearance of the Arthurian theme in S3?

Will we see the love triangle of Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot come back into play and cause more chaos? I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the Fall.

Or will our lovers bring down a divinely-appointed ruler via their committed behind-the-back defiance of expected propriety?

Will Excalibur appear from beneath the waters, perhaps in another form, to declare a new king?

Could it even be a combination Jesus/Arthur, King of the World, returned? And they turn out to be a very naughty boy, disappearing into the night clubs of Times Square, New York, and that's how they lose him? (Social media viral sensation, anyone?)

I wouldn't be half-surprised if Greasy Johnson's name turns out to be Arthur, actually.

And no, I haven't forgotten that Adam's dad was named Arthur as well.

Bring on S3!

**Bonus**

If you've made it this far and you're thinking:

Let me leave you with this last connection.

In the back stage change room, remember Furfur delivers these lines:

FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember?

On the first level, he is referring the Great War in the Good Omens AU.

On the second level, Furfur is paraphrasing Milton's Paradise Lost.

On a third level, I can (and will in a future meta) connect this back to the training initiative paintball fight at Tadfield Manor in S1.

And even deeper on a fourth level, if you do know the Holy Grail movie well, you'll remember there is an odd little subplot in it, that infers that the whole King Arthur and his knights thing is merely a full-on violent cosplay that is murderously rampaging across the countryside in the present day with the police in hot pursuit. It's a strange juxtaposition between reality and dream, and you aren't quite sure what it is real or not. The ending is bizarrely and abruptly surreal as the two story lines collide in the heat of battle, as the police turn up and arrest the combatants. A bit like this:

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XII good omens sEAsOn 2 (the non-traumatic part) episode 1

Alright yes I know, I know, it's been two days since the livestream. I was reading fanfiction. Don't blame me, love made me crazy, and all that. I'm enjoying myself as much as I can before we get to the season 2 finale. But here we go, season 2, episode one, maggots:

[on reading this back after finishing, a lot of text is my being in love with Crowley. mainly, points 3, 4, 9, 14, 17, 18, yes I have issues, feel free to skip that for an absolutely concise and precise summary]

Before the livestream starts, everyone decides that there will be no spoilers whatsoever on the chat, even hidden with the black, because I have a tendency to keep clicking and revealing them. I'm sorry, temptation and all. I have emotional support fruit, an apple, two kiwis, two sapotes and two bananas.

When the livestream starts, it has to be restarted, because I am an incompetent nincompoop and have somehow managed to muck up my settings. And it is absolutely imperative that I watch the opening scene.

So then I do. And immediately have to consume my emotional support apple because I am so fucking in love with Crowley. Already? someone asks. Yes bloody already, I need that apple.

Thanks, guys. I'm broken. Crowley. Just. She looks so peaceful and untraumatised, so delighted with the plans, so full of wonder at what she's creating. Let there be light, she says, and rather than seeing Crowley turn off a streetlight with a flick of his fingers, we get to see her create nebulas. Aziraphale looks at her and he's just instantly so spellbound, and who would bloody blame him? His wings just do a slight dip of realisation that he's fucked when Crowley says the gorgeous line. Look at Crowley. Worried about the apocalypse. Smiling at Aziraphale, and we can see Azi's concern because something as pure as that has to be protected and Aziraphale knows what Heaven will do to Crowley if she dares to ask questions. Crowley is angelic and filled with light and Aziraphale sees that and tries to keep her safe with his words.

Hey spoiler alert, it doesn't work, Crowley's wings are greying even as she protects Azi and Crowley falls and I hate everything and I am filled with unbridled rage.

UNDERSTAND? RAGE.

I am speculating how much pain and torture Crowley went through when she fell into Hell that first time. I am told to not ask questions I don't want answers to.

Maggie sells records, Aziraphale is a cutiepie, and Maggie is very gay for Nina.

Crowley is lounging on a park bench, suit and skinny tie, just being all sexy and demonic and probably contemplating nihilism.

Crowley spreads awareness about duck health. No bread, guys. Frozen peas. He also angsts a lot to Shax (whom I keep mixing up with Michael) about the meaning of life. Someone points out that this is very Barbie of him. "do you ever think about death". Ah, Crowley.

More lesbians gaying. I would kill for Nina's hair.

JIMBRIEL IN THE HOUSE. I WON'T SAY ANYMORE ABOUT HIS ENTRANCE BECAUSE THIS IS NOW A TOPIC OF CONTROVERSY. BUT JIMBRIEL IN THE HOUSE.

Aziraphale, ah I love him, absolutely fucking panics and has the loading symbol over his angelic little head at all times. FINALLY, THIS SHOW IS A COMEDY.

Crowley is leaning on his Bentley and mmmmhm his arms and his lounging and his personality I am back to crunching on my temptation emotional support apple.

Sorry back to the summary. Jim finds Aziraphale funny and says he loves him. Someone points out that this was the fandom upon encountering my dumbass self. "You're funny Asmi we love you."

Aziraphale is a little bitchy babygirl, really just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. Just absolutely slaying through every Jimbriel scene. 100000/10.

Six shots of fucking espresso in a big cup. Crowley, I love you. Can I love Crowley any more than this? Yes I can. My love for Crowley is like the universe, infinite and yet ever-expanding, explosive with entropy.

Crowley holds the door open for Aziraphale and holds his plate and honestly what absolute husband (gn) behaviour.

CROWLEY MEETS JIMBRIEL WHO IS FUCKING DUSTING AND LEAPS BACKWARD AND JUST RELIVES TRAUMA WHILE JIM IS CHILLING AND AZIRAPHALE IS STILL GAY PANICKING. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

MARRIAGE QUARRELS ABOUT ADOPTING JIM, JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE FELL-CROWLEY HOUSEHOLD.

Coffeeshop AU lesbians time.

Heaven is horrible.

MURIEL IS BABY I LOVE THEM HELLO CUTIEPATOOTIE.

There is an ethereal paper file.

Beezlebub beezles their way into Crowley's car and is very concerned in Hell about finding Jimbriel.

Nina's partner is a toxic ass don't worry about it.

Sulky Crowley says he's back and apology dance time mmmhm.

Miracle hide Jimbriel time, but they've got to be subtle. They do the miracle. Jim is glad to have friends.

They are very proud of themselves for their subtle miracle.

THEY ARE SO FUCKING USELESS. FUCKING USELESS LITTLE GAYASS DISASTERS JESUS LORD IN HEAVEN. LITERALLY IN HEAVEN ALARM BELLS ARE EVERYWHERE.

GREAT JOB, GAYS. GREAT JOB.

End of episode one. Take this screenshot.

[zabimarushoney67]

Hello! I wanted to known if I could request slow sensual sex with Shinji Hirako???

Oooomgosh omgosh yessss! This is gonna be so good 🙏🏼 Highkey have been waiting for a NSFW fic with Shinji 💀 Thank you so much! for the request and I hope you enjoy! (I went on a blind hiatus during this im so sorry lmao it’s done tho!)

🔥Under Fire🔥

Shinji Hirako x Fem!Reader

NSFW+18💦MDI⚠️REC.DU💨FLUFF💟MODERN A.U✨

Summary: Shared but masked feelings, making love wasn’t apart of the agenda. For you though, Shinji is ready for anything.

Warnings: Modern alternative universe, strong language, sensual lovemaking, praise kink, marking(hickies, bite marks), fingering, oral!sex (reader receiving), vaginal!penetration, hand holding, sweet talk, supple kisses, blunt smoking, friends with benefits turned serious, budding romantic feelings, fluff throughout.

Authors Notes: AH FINALLY I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS 😩 SHINJI WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT! Also! Bad Omens reeeeaallly set the mood for this thing, like ONG absolute perfection!😭🤌🏽

Loud music bumped over the nightclub speakers, rumbling through the wooden floors with everyone’s moving feet. Flashing lights colored the hundreds of bodies that were crammed together like sardines on the dance floor, Shinji’s gentle hands were on your hips, he watched them sway in time with the movements of his fit body.

Drunk and feeling the music, the beating vibration warmed your body up against Shinji. A feeling like sparks igniting, consuming you in his spiritual flames. Shinji flowed with your body on the dance floor. Shifting his hips, he pressed them up against your frayed denim shorts, groaning to himself as he felt your body press, and relax back into him.

He swallowed hard as he peered down your body, his steely eyes devoured the slick and shiny skin under your halter-neck tank top. Feeling your hand wrap around his neck and grip him there, finally had him leaning into your ear to speak up. “Hey, you wanna get outta here soon darlin?” His voice reverberated something needy and demanding. Shinji teasingly licked the shell of your ear, nibbling down the side of your neck as you rolled your hips across his quickly hardening groin.

Leaning your head back on his shoulder speaking into his ear, “Sure, yeah that sounds good! But I have to finish my drink first,”. Rolling his eyes, he released his grip on you. Holding your hand softly he followed closely behind you as you lead him back to the table where Lisa, Kensei, Renji, Izuru, and Shuhei sat.

Hoping you two could slip away unnoticed, Shinji huffed. Now in a forced position to say goodbye and come up with a reason for disappearing yet again, at a friendly get-together, Shinji was less than thrilled. Not an outcome he was hoping for, but if it meant he could leave sooner with you without a bickering match, it would be worth it. Moving to the quieter, darker part of the club where your table was, y/n grabbed the air toward her drink, lazily leading Shinji behind her.

Renji passed her the drink, as she finally anchored herself at the front of the table. Bringing the cute, yellow bendy straw to her lips she sucked down the blue fruity cocktail, bobbing her head in time with the music.

“Looks like you two are having all the fun,” Renji commented, “We are, but,” y/n started saying before taking another sip of her drink, “We're actually gonna head out early for the night,” she said tightening her grip on Shinji’s hand, silently asking him for some back up if her unplanned plan backfired.

Everyone's heads turned at that comment and landed on both you and Shinji, Shuhei caught Shinji’s hand being held captive by yours and only nodded in his direction. The rest of the gang sighed outwardly, “Really? Already?” Renji questioned with a grimace, “But we just got here!” a drunk Lisa sang out. “Oh let them go, they'll just disappear somewhere anyway,” Kensei huffed, taking a languid sip of his old fashion.

The rumor was true. You had secretly been seeing Shinji on the side for a while now. He established a friend-with-benefits situation a few months back.

On that day, running some errands with him, Shinji had bluntly come forward with his attraction toward you. It seemingly came out of nowhere, but you had been so fond of him already that you even held your suspicions, that he felt the same. The sex has been a reliable release for you, it sated a need you didn’t even know you had until you started seeing him regularly during the week.

The both of you had tried to keep it down low and out of sight, trying not to start any gossip. It seemed everyone eventually caught on, since every time you all got together, you and Shinji always ended up disappearing.

Usually off somewhere alone for a quick meet up and then return to the function, but the longer the agreement went on the more often you two went off just to be together, sexual or not.

“Are you guys leaving already?” Izuru chimes in with the rest of the crowd, walking up behind you and Shinji with a handful of shots. “Yeah…” Shinji replied slowly, blatantly fronting his irritation at the current embarrassing circumstances. “That’s lame,” “take one before you go,” Izuru rolled his eyes, pushing a shot into both y/n and Shinji’s free hands.

Just as y/n finished her cocktail, she threw the shot back like a champ, before anyone else had even lifted their shot. Shinji would stand corrected if he thought he was the one who wanted to leave this god forsaken club first.

(...)

Walking back to y/n’s downtown apartment not far from the club, y/n held onto her shoulders. Chilled, after leaving the heat of the nightclub and into the late summer night. “Jeez. Woman,” “This is why I told you to bring a jacket,” Shinji sighed.

Wrapping you in his brown leather jacket he remarks “And who said chivalry is dead?”. “I didn't know it would be this cold,” y/n muttered quietly, gripping the sides of his jacket and enclosing herself in its warmth. “You’re half naked, with your hair in that... Cute messy bun style you know I love so much on you,” “Of course, you're gonna be cold, sometimes I think you do it on purpose,” he smiled to himself as the words left his mouth. “Absolutely not!” y/n spat back defensively, knowing deep down that he was... Well, he was kind of right.

Something has been different lately. Even before leaving for the club, Shinji had ran through a whole checklist before he would even allow you to step out of the door. ‘Have you eaten yet?’ ‘Do you have everything in that purse of yours?’ ‘Are you sure you don’t wanna bring a jacket?’ just to name a few examples. There was a new profound softness in all of Shinji’s actions that pertained to you, it felt good, natural even, like it should’ve been this way the entire time.

Needless to say y/n was rather enjoying the new treatment, it made her heart patter ever so lightly allowing more room for her fondness to grow for the infamous jokester, who now turned out to be an infamous gentleman as well.

(…)

Finally arriving back home in the safe confines of Y/n’s apartment, y/n shook off her heels and threw his jacket on the coat rack while Shinji carelessly strolled in behind, removing his shoes. The beginning steps of y/n’s ‘time for bed’ ritual took place, and Shinji got comfy removing his tie, loosening his shirt a bit and rolling up his sleeves. Y/n stood in the mirror, wiping off her makeup in the bathroom, closest to her bedroom. Shinji sat on the bed, rolling up a blunt for the both of you. One of his many playlists lulls over the sound system, filling the bedroom with a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

Once cleaned up and dressed down in some of her comfy shorts and an oversized T-shirt, y/n joined Shinji on the plush mattress, sitting crisscrossed with a glass of iced water. “Man, nightclubs are not my thing anymore,” y/n said rubbing her eyes, groaning softly from the slight headache she received after the few hours of drinking and dancing.

“So, let me get this straight,” “You’re saying,” “You would rather be at home,” “Chilling… and smoking weed with me… in your bed?” Shinji drawled out turning his head in your direction, with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. “Shut it and light it, goofy,” y/n sneered at the blonde man, smacking him lightly on the shoulder and breathily laughing at his stupid, dumb remark. So stupid it left your face catastrophically red. Seriously, what was up with this guy? His smooth words, and even smoother hair. None of it made sense, or it did… just why now? Shinji was the adamant one on the, ‘this is nothing serious, I just want to have fun with you,’ part of the agreement.

Putting his hand upon your upper thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. Shinji places the blunt between his lips, it hangs so artfully from them as he goes to light it. Pulling out an engraved zippo lighter, he flips it open. The bright blue flame quickly engulfed the tip of the tobacco paper, and a sweet aroma of the white grape drifted through the air while the paper burned to ash, quickly followed by the delightful smell of weed. These night are always the best when shared together, y/n thought. Allowing her mind to wander through the current moment, a sudden swell of emotion had begun overflowing her body.

(…)

A few passes and over half a blunt later, the two leaned against the wooden headboard, their bodies heavy from the weed that swirled through them. Y/n laid her head on Shinji’s shoulder, while his arm encompassed her close against his warm, slumped body. Shinji puffed on his handiwork, relaxing further into y/n’s weight. Rolling waves of smoke lingered in the air and filled the dimly lit room, while the two lay together sailing through the clouds. The entwinement of their bodies and limbs being the only thing that kept them grounded in reality.

“Earlier…” “Walking back here,” “You said, you loved when my hair is up,” y/n said softly, pausing before continuing, “What are some other things you… ‘love’ about me?” She asked curiously, with her breath hitching in her chest.

Shinji’s eyes widened at her question, breathing a heavy hit from his nose, he hurriedly took another, sucking it deep into his lungs. “Well…” he said as the smoke poured from his mouth. “There’s lots of things…” “like the way you’ll scrunch your nose up at my gross jokes,” Shinji said chuckling to himself. “Or the way you’ll blush and look away whenever I compliment you…” “Or my favorite…” he paused again. “the little dance you do when you’re eating something you like...” he stopped there smiling to himself, but not wanting to dredge any further into that topic.

Y/n lay on his shoulder dazed, “Oh..” she breathed, blushing from his words. “I was fully prepared for you to say something along the lines of,” “I love the way your lips look around my cock darlin’,” she said, trying but failing to do an impression of Shinji.

“First of all,” “I do not sound like that,” Shinji laughed heartily at y/n’s endearing impression of him. “Secondly, I love it when you look like that,” he corrected, taking another hit before handing it over to y/n. “Oh yeah?” She said giggling, “Oh yeah,” Shinji said before his soft fingers slid up the side of your cheek and turned your face towards him.

Leaning down to capture your lips in a gentle kiss, he pulled away ever so slightly, blowing his smoke into your mouth and kissing you again after. “I love it a lot,” he said, inches away from your face. His words sang, traveling through y/n’s ears and making them ring with their sweetness, flowing down her body and resting comfortably in the pit of her stomach.

Blinking softly at Shinji, y/n exhaled the smoke. A soft shade of pink stained her cheeks as she stared into his grey hooded eyes. A crafty smile plastered across Shinji’s face as he caressed your cheek under his thumb. Y/n leaned into his touch before bringing the end of the blunt to her lips.

Glancing down at y/n’s full lips encompassing the tip of the blunt, Shinji drank your expression in full. He mimicked your blushing shyness as he pulled his hand away. “Goddamn…” “You are so fucking pretty,” “You know that?” He said biting his lip, he shook his head in disbelief and scoffed. “It makes me wonder why no one’s snatched you up yet,” insecurity silently started weaving itself into his usually unwavering confidence.

“I mean, I’m not complaining,” “More fun for me after all,” Shinji said going silent afterward. “For me, I think maybe...” “it's because I have you in my back pocket, and everyone knows it,” y/n stated blatantly, “We haven't exactly been hiding it,” shrugging her shoulders, she put the roach out in the ashtray. “Or maybe...” “it's because I would rather have you…” “So I decline everyone who’s tried,” a hefty blush returned to her face as y/n avoided eye contact with the blonde man lying next to her.

“Oh yeah?” Shinji said with a side smile and raised eyebrow, cocking his head down at you. “...Yeah,” y/n murmured after a moment of diligent thinking. Shinji’s hand cupped your chin softly, begetting your stare back in his direction. His face grew hot all over again when he peeked at the soft, lustful eyes of y/n as they peered down at his lips. Flashing quickly back to his eyes, y/n leaned in and molded her lips gently against Shinji’s.

(...)

Her sudden emotional ministration left Shinji blinking widely, the blush on his face crept up to the tips of his ears while she kissed him deeply. Melting into her kiss and releasing a breath from his nose, he pushed firmly back into y/ns wanting mouth, groaning as she parted his lips with her sly tongue.

Twisting his torso, Shinji slowly pushed you into the pillows, as he climbed on top. Supporting his weight on his forearms, y/n’s plush thighs hugged his waist while he got comfy between them. Her soft hands held his face, gently stroking the short stubble on his jawline, keeping him over her mouth as their tongues played and explored one another.

Soft moans roused from y/n when Shinji shifted to his knees, pushing her thighs up and over his. Rising to his palms, he gazed down at you, his face flushed and lips parted. Quick, broken breaths left his mouth, and Shinji felt his heart thump against his sternum. A strange, foreign feeling washed over his body. Arousal, lust, and something else... Passion? maybe. Y/n’s fingers tentatively reached for the first button of his shirt and slowly pulled each of them apart, staring intently at the buttons as they came undone and revealed his smooth skin underneath.

Sitting back on his heels, Shinji shrugged off his shirt and tugged it free of his jeans, tossing it to the side of the bed. Returning to his position over you, he caught your mouth in a greedy kiss. Awash with his need for you, his hand clasped your still-clothed breast gripping and kneading it underneath his palm. Y/n’s hands explored the expanse of his now open back. She remembered every flowing line of tensed muscle and the way they seem to relax under her hand that softly caressed each spot.

(...)

Shinji’s lips smashed against yours, nibbling at you playfully, and sucking your lower lip. With the intense feeling of being engulfed in everything that was Shinji in this minuscule moment, the heat started quickly swallowing y/n’s breath underneath the man's lanky form.

His needy mouth traveled from your lips down your jaw, pushing your head away, and giving the feral man access to your supple neck. Y/n’s head spun violently under his frantic, but somehow artful duress. Her body begged to feel his warmth, begged for him to give her what she needed.

Y/n found herself lost in the present moment, stuck in some places of her past, but somehow still excited for the future that was to be paved, and hopefully with Shinji by her side. Releasing his grip on your chest, both of his hand's fumble around, trying to find yours. Enterlacing his fingers within yours he pushes your palms into the bed, pinning you underneath him.

Shinji continued his crusade down your neck, licking and softly kissing the sensitive skin that lay vulnerable to him. Y/n can feel a smile form on his lips when she wailed out from the sharp feeling of his canines pinching her skin.

Covering the small welt with his mouth, and running his tongue over it Shinji sucks the skin of your neck. Grunting lowly when he feels you arch your back into his unrelenting torture. Releasing you from his mouth, he continues his play time to the other side of your neck. There, he kisses down to your exposed collarbone where he begins to repeat the same teasing ritualistic behavior, marking you with a large purple hickey.

(...)

At his total mercy, and laying completely helpless underneath him y/n bucks her hips against him. Trying, and trying again to find some friction to sedate the growing arousal between her legs. The flimsy cloth of her shorts and her lacy panties discouraged any true form of relief. They numbed her sensation just enough that it became a nuisance trying to do it herself. That was until Shinji finally understood what you were after. Freeing a hand from your grasp, he lowered it to your slick heat.

Surpassing the confinement of cloth, he delves in between your plump lips. Massaging the wetness that collected there, he hummed in appreciation at how worked up you had become with just some sloppy kisses and heavy panting. Two fingers rubbed in gentle circles around your clit. “You’re such... Ah!” “A goddamn tease!” y/n said forcibly.

She desperately wiggled her hips against his fingers, wishing he'd hit the spot he knew she loved. Shinji’s slender fingers always left y/n in a full trance. The way they magically danced across her skin, and brought about the most helpless of whimpers from y/n. The sounds Shinji knew, he was the only one who could force from you. “C’mon darlin’” “You know I love the way you sound,” “Let me hear you,” Shinji breathed against your skin before snatching you into another soul-devouring kiss.

“Let me feel you then,” y/n pulled away from him and retorted in frustration. Grabbing his wrist she pushed him further toward her dripping, needy heat. “Don’t be like that baby,” “I was gettin' there,” he smirked against your mouth. Sinking his fingers into your mess of a hole, he slowly pulled his fingers against the spongy pad on your upper wall, massaging in little circles.

Positioning his thumb he pressed on your swelling clit, rubbing and prodding the sensitive bundle of nerves in time with his curling fingers. “That's such a good look on you y/n,” Shinji smiled greatly as he peered down at your pleasure-contorted face.

“Faster..! Please!” y/n begged, shooting Shinji a needy glimpse and biting her lip to egg him further. “Nah,” “I want to enjoy this...” he said softly as he continued his sermon of repetitive motions. Y/n whined loudly, bordering on a temper tantrum. “Goddamn.” “You're so fucking cute when you're frustrated,” Shinji confessed in admiration, softly smooching your cheek before traveling feather-light kisses toward your ear. Taking your earlobe in between clenched teeth, he shoves his fingers into your aching core, reveling in the shout y/n released from his perfectly timed and careful actions.

(...)

Feeling your body convulse and twitch underneath him, was most certainly egging him on, more than ever before. His cock raged against the tight confinement of his jeans, throbbing in time with all the little jolts that ran throughout y/n’s body. “I think that'll do,” Shinji said before removing all stimulation away from y/n. “W-what?” y/n protested as she tried grabbing his hand to keep him posted in their position. Sitting up, Shinji unbuckled his belt letting it fall open. “Take your clothes off,” he demanded, his voice sounding a lot like how it did at the nightclub.

Blinking dumbfounded, y/n obeys and starts removing her shirt. Shinjis's hands helped lift it and pull it over your head as he discarded it with his shirt on the side of the bed. Y/n hooks her thumbs in the waistband of her shorts and pulls them down her thighs. Shinji pushed your legs up straight and pulled them off. “Keep the panties on,” “They're cute,” he remarked. He peeked down at the floral red lace tanga-styled panties that sat high on your waist, accentuating your curvy hips and pillowy thighs. His strong hands grab hold of your ankles and kept them in the air, “Bend your knees so they touch your chest,” “They don’t leave that spot until I say,” Shinji warned, his tone sounding serious as he positioned and instructed you on how he wanted to take you for the night.

Y/n hummed happily, lulling her head to the side roused a questioning look upon Shinji’s face. “Somethin' funny doll?” He asks, his palms pushing your thighs up to your chest. “You’re just so sexy when you’re in charge,” y/n explained with a grin. “Do it more often,” she said, silently challenging him, and staring directly into his eyes.

Shinji didn't respond with words but rather with his actions. Running his fingers over the lace of your pussy lips, a small smirk draws on his face once he saw your eyebrows draw together slightly from his touch.

Peering down at you and your position, his face suddenly softens. The position he wanted you in left you exposed to him, vulnerable almost. Somehow your words spoke of the trust you had in him and the confidence you held for him, knowing that he knew how to take care of you in every regard. It took Shinji by complete surprise the more he thought about what you said. Maybe he was thinking too much into it but something felt different from you, about you, he only understood that he couldn’t let you down now.

(...)

Quickly removing his black jeans, Shinji crawled back onto the mattress. He laid on his elbows while his face took place over your dripping cunt, his cock throbbed at the sight before him. The cotton insert of your panties drowned in your juices, scarcely containing your folds as it stretched thin between your plump lips. Like a ripe peach that hung from a branch and was ready for the picking, Shinji stared mesmerized by your intimate beauty. The aroma of your lust and the warmth that waited inside, made Shinji’s mouth water intensely as he steadied himself before taking a dive back into your depths.

Lightly pushing the cloth away to expose you completely, Shinji places his hands near your waist and leaned down and kissed your glistening lips. His hair swayed from side to side as he got to work. The soft gentle kisses he started with slowly turned into long sucking kisses, as he took each lip into his mouth and pulled on them. Tugging ever so gently before releasing it with a sucking pop and repeating this motion until he made his way up to your clit.

Taking the swollen bud into his mouth and sucking it, the pressure from the motion left y/n’s thighs trembling, and her toes curling at the ceiling. With her eyes shut tightly, her jaw dropped as she mewled loudly from Shinji’s unrelenting maw. The lewd noises that spewed from y/n’s mouth were unlike anything Shinji had ever heard before. His body reacted physically, singing with lust as every nerve, every pore on his body stood at full attention, just for her.

He fisted at the sheets under his palms as he started absentmindedly grinding into the mattress. Shinji repeatedly pushed his twitching cock into its soft fullness, desperate for any attention he could get while he waited to finish you first. Shinji grunted as his cock slid against the soft, stretchy spandex of his blue boxer briefs.

Removing her hands from the underside of her thighs, she placed them on Shinji’s forearms. Tightly gripping onto them, y/n felt the cool metal of his tongue piercing swirl around her clit, and up and down her sensitized labia. Y/n’s knees failed to stay directly over her chest and slowly drifted to her sides, resting there and spread completely open for Shinji’s hungry mouth.

(...)

Y/n finally caught a needed glimpse at the handsome man that lay in front of her. Visually taking in the way he ate her out like it was the last thing he’ll ever do on earth. So turned on by her noises and arousal, that he’s resorting to fucking the mattress. That’s a first, y/n thought gazing down at the touch deprived man between her thighs. His tensing muscles, soft whimpers, and all the incredulous sucking noises created such a delightful picture for y/n’s eyes and ears to take in and memorize.

The image of this moment, and the feelings that danced and swirled around her body, doubled by the pressure of her orgasm winding up in her core was almost too much. Tears pricked at the corners of y/n’s eyes, as her noises got louder with each swipe of his tongue. Noticing that you had broken the position he placed you in, his arms slid under your thighs and hooked you in his full grasp. Too horny to care, Shinji tugged you harshly down to his mouth. Making you jolt and gasp from the tightness of his arms as they held you harshly in position against his face.

Releasing a thigh, his fingers journeyed down to your twitching hole. His eyes peered up at you as he slowly sunk his middle digit into its wetness. Rubbing the pad of his finger against your G-spot, his tongue ravaging your clit. Expertly flicking and prodding your bud with careful consideration to get you to release. Never breaking eye contact, he sped up his finger's pace. Feeling your walls swell and clench around his finger was a sign you were close, pulling his finger out he glided another finger in with ease before pushing up on your G-spot. The repetitive pressing of her fleshy button, in time with the fast-flicking of his tongue, sent y/n over the edge drowning her deep within her pleasure and forcing out her full release.

“Oh, Shinnnjiii!~” She wailed his name out in ecstasy as her pussy clenched onto his digits and her clit pulsed under his tongue. Finger fucking her deeper and harder during her orgasm caused a different form of release, as y/n’s pussy squirted forcibly through the rolling waves of her powerful orgasm. Splashing Shinji’s chin, neck, and upper chest area, and soaking the bed underneath y/n. “Mmmm, that's what I like to see doll,” “Good job Baby,” He hummed as he pulled his fingers from you, sucking them clean.

Y/n lay there half unconscious coming down from her incredible high. “You've made such a mess darlin’, look at you,” Shinji chuckled at the slumped form of y/n, still breathing heavily. “I'm...” “I'm not sleeping in the wet spot, that's your fault,” she said catching her breath and swallowing hard.

Chuckling sweetly at your exhausted words, “Don’t bother me none babes, just a sign of my victory,”Shinji grins shifting to his knees in front of you. His warm calloused hands push your thighs up to your side as he leaned down to kiss your mound, up your belly, and the space between your breast. His breath felt warm against your skin, as you felt the tip of his nose swipe across your chest. Softly suckling the skin of your breast he repeats his loving and careful kisses until your nipple is encased in his wet mouth. His thumb and index finger come to rest underneath your breast allowing some support while his tongue swirled and prodded against your hard nipple.

(...)

Not giving you any time to prepare for the next act, Shinji sucks and pulls on your nipple with his lips as he presses his still-clothed member against your now-soaked innermost thighs. Grinding against your slick left wet, splotchy marking on his boxers. Pulling off your nipple, he kisses toward the other side and pulls your hardened nipple into his warm mouth sucking gently on it, making sure that none of you is left untouched, or unloved. Still coming down from her first high, y/n lay underneath him breathless, soaking in all of the attention Shinji seemed to have no problem giving to her.

The feeling of his throbbing cock pressing against her still-sensitive clit had y/n reeling. Gasping inwardly at the sudden shock of pleasure that still shot through her body, so artfully done in with just Shinji’s mouth.

“Fuck...” “Shinji, I want you,” y/n mewled pathetically at him, bucking her hips against his swollen, still captive member. Releasing your nipple, Shinji smiles deviously against your skin, “I can't hear you darlin’” he purred. “I..” y/n started before feeling unsettled from the foreign neediness that had been instilled within her. “Use your words, baby,” Shinji’s kissed soft words of encouragement into your chest, only making you flush further. “I want you, inside of me now,” “Please, pretty please,” “I can't wait any longer,” y/n begged helplessly, her mind completely fogged with lust and need.

“You’re in for a treat then babe,” “Because I want you to,” Shinji chuckled before pushing his boxers down past his cock allowing space for it to spring free from its confines. Grabbing the base of his lengthy cock, he prods his tip against your red, swollen lips. Running it up and down your slick, Shinji grunts lowly as he inserts himself. Your gummy warm walls accepted his length freely, swallowing every inch with squelchy ease. “Ohh~” “Fuu-uck,” “Y/n baby, you're always... so fucking... sweet,” Shinji gritted his jaw and forced out as his full length was sheathed inside of you.

All of those hours watching you, waiting for you, wanting you, finally came to an end as Shinji’s body fully relaxed into your body. Pleasure washed over, from his head to his toes as he felt your walls clench onto his shaft. His warm hands rested on the back of your thighs as he raised his body up and over yours. Pinning you against the headboard, Shinji positioned himself so his cock was perfectly angled against your G-spot. Slowly pulling himself from you, his whole body shuttered as he pushed his hips back into your tight cunt. Y/n lay spread open ready for Shinji's taking. Biting her lower lip she cursed under her breath as Shinji made the first few movements.

It didn't matter how many times Shinji had taken you before. It didn't matter how many times you came because of him, or how many times he had touched you. The craving for you only grew stronger with each time he felt you. Getting worse, as each time left him wanting you all over again, bubbling up like an inevitable volcano. Being inside of you was paradise to him, pure bliss, and the only thing to make him forget about all the other stressors in his life. You had become the center of his addiction, and every time he got a taste it was like a first taste all over again.

Finding a steady momentum, Shinji ground his hips against your core, sending his cock into your wet deepness. His mouth fell open and his eyebrows drew together as he felt your pussy twitch and throb with his motions. Soft breathy moans filled the room as he rocked his body against yours.

What usually was rough, harsh, and relentless pounding was gentle and comforting this time around. His hands softly gripped the underside of your thighs as his cock effortlessly slid in and out of you. Y/n’s breasts bounced softly with each of his push-ins. With her face flushed red, the feeling of his impossibly hard cock grazing against all of her right spots was quickly rewinding her arousal all over again. Shinji peered down at y/n, taking in all of her blushing features. The way your eyes rolled when he pushed up into your core, and the faded cute cries that left your now chapped parted lips.

Beautiful. You were so beautiful during this moment, taking all of him with ease and enjoying every second of it. It drove Shinji wild, he moved his body over yours once more prompting y/n to wrap her thighs around his waist. Finding your hands, Shinji interlaced his fingers with yours again.

Burying his face into your neck, he squeezed your hands as he picked up his pace. Y/n cried out, the tears that previously pricked her eyes now finally spilling over her cheeks. “I can't take much more Shinji...” she whimpered at his relentless grinding. Kissing your neck and ignoring your words, Shinji continued his loving agony, pushing himself harder against your soreness. “Just a little..” “Longer, I'm so close,” he breathed against your neck in earnest. “Fuck, I'm so close...” he strained as his body tensed with his approaching orgasm.

The pounding got louder as did their cries for release. “Fuck, Shinjiii..” y/n moaned leaning her head against his face on her neck. “I... I love you..” y/n said quietly. Those three words would've halted him, coming from anyone else. Coming from you though, he never would've expected you to say it first. “What?” he said, never stopping his thrusts. “I said, I lo..” “I love you Shinji,” Y/n said louder, squeezing his hands. “Oh shit... Fuck I'm gonna cum darlin',” “I love you too y/n,” he said hurriedly before claiming your mouth in a sweet kiss. Grunting repeatedly as his cock spewed his load inside of you, y/n could feel his shaft pulse with each ripple of his orgasm. The warm liquid filled her chasm with his juices.

Finalizing his kiss, his body dropped heavily on top of yours. Sweaty and out of breath, the both of you lay in stillness. The sound of his music still playing, the two of you slowly found your composure again.

Pulling out and leaning back on his knees once more, Shinji looked down at you bashful as ever. A cute smile found a place on his lips as he chuckled at the exchange of those words. Y/n looked up at him through her eyelashes, almost chuckling with him, “What's so funny darlin’,” she started again with her horrible impression, making Shinji laugh even further. “Nothin’ babe, I'll get you something to clean yourself up with,” he said cooly before swiftly finding a towel and bringing it back to you.

(...)

Hours had gone by it was late. Sleeping soundly in Shinjis arms y/n nuzzled into his chest comfortably. Shinji lay awake, his mind running wild and repeating those words over and over again as he caressed your back lazily with his fingers. Breaking his train of thought, there was a light tapping at the front door. Reaching for his phone and checking the time, 2:45 am his bright screen read, “Who the hell is knocking at this time of night,” Shinji huffed annoyed, untangling himself from you he pulled some sweatpants on and shambled to the front door, yawning.

Another light tapping followed by fits of laughing and shushing noises, made Shinji squint as he opened the door, he readied himself to tell someone off for disturbing his night with you. At the door stood Lisa, Kensei, Izuru, and Renji all of them drunken and swaying at the doorway. Shuhei was nowhere to be found, “what the hell do you guys want?” Shinji grumbled rolling his eyes. “Shinji?” all three of them said in unison staring wide-eyed, “What are YOU doing here?” Renji spewed, his words slurring together, incomprehensible to an untrained ear. They all stared in awe at Shinji as he leaned against the doorframe. “Wait I KNOW!” Lisa said out loud, unaware of her volume. “Are you and Y/n-chan dating?” she teased, “you guys owe me 20 bucks, I told you!” Lisa said matter-of-factly pushing each of the guy's shoulders.

Sighing and crossing his arms Shinji grinned, laughing at his drunk friends and their assumptions. “Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he responded, knowing exactly what he had to do next.

End🌸🔥

@ducksdoughnuts IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS DONE NOW 😭😭 Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this!

!!!BLEACH REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!!!

[shootingstarpilot]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @merlyn-bane!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

Eight!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

217,911

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

*sobbing* Star Wars, my beloved. The brainrot is real; I am consumed. When I was still on FF.net, though, I had stuff up in Harry Potter and How to Train Your Dragon.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

back then, i was dauntless

how to bring him home

if i don't make it back (from where i've gone)

though some would harm you

like lightning changing hands

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely do! I feel bad because I know I've gotten some lovely comments on chapters that aren't the most recent one, and those tend to get lost in the inbox, but I promise I'm working on it- if you get a response from a comment you left a year and a half ago, don't hold it against me 😅

I do it because I want so badly to build community here! I love getting comments from people, responding to something with a wee hint of a tease because I'm AWFUL and then getting a keysmash of a response and then exchanging snippets in the comments, truly, it fills me with delight- and I've met some absolutely wonderful people who I got introduced to by responding to comments-

Anyway. Community. That.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh. Hm. Hm.

I... guess it would have to be though some would harm you? Although I'm not sure if I feel confident in that designation, because it's very much part of a multi-work series. And I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings to write a stand-alone fic that doesn't have one, I think.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, neural plasticity, for sure! Short and sweet <3

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

A bit. I can brush off the "actually the Jedi were the real monsters" assholes easily enough, but honestly, the comments that hit the hardest are the ones that clearly come from people who think they're offering ✨constructive criticism.✨ Not only because I didn't ask for it, but also because saying my work is "fatiguing" or "I'm sure there's a decent story here, but it's being buried under what you're trying to do with it-" there's nothing constructive there.

Side note: the person who left that last comment deleted it about half an hour later, because when I went to reply, it had vanished from my inbox. I don't know if they did that because they didn't want me to be able to reply, or if they realized that what they said was unhelpful and mean, but if they ever happen to see this-

I still got the email, prick.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Write? No, I haven't quite worked up the panache to try. Reading, on the other hand...

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do have snippets of one crossover that I actually posted in an anonymous collection, ha- an old BBC Merlin/ Good Omens/ Supernatural fic that I dug out of my old documents. Other than that, no- unless you count the Prequels and the Clone Wars as different enough to qualify as a crossover.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of- very much open to it, though!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Since I don't think taking drabbles in tumblr chats to ridiculous lengths counts, I'd have to say no- I'd like to, though!

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Codywan. Fiercely, unwaveringly Codywan.

Just to reinforce this- 292 of my bookmarks consist of Cody/Obi-Wan. The next most common romantic pairing (Aziraphale/Crowley) has less than half that, at 121.

I'm a goner, and I can't even bring myself to regret it.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

OKAY SO I've written snippets of a modern AU focusing on Helix, Needle and Stitch, and I'm totally gonna take this opportunity to rage about it. I'm probably never gonna finish it, but it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, so, hey- what else is fic for, really, if not for indulging yourself?

At first, it's just Needle and Stitch. It's just been the two of them, for as long as Stitch can remember. Needle's only a few years older than him, but he's raised him, kept him in school, kept a roof over their heads and food on the table-

Food on Stitch's plate, at least.

Then, one night, Needle does not come home.

A hit-and-run, the nurse tells him, although the words will not trickle through until much later. A coma.

He will not, they say patiently, come home for some time.

(There is so much that needs doing.)

Helix, meanwhile, is studying physical therapy at the local community college and working part-time at his brother Ace's bakery.

It's during one of these shifts that a skinny little twerp comes in and hands him a job application.

(Rent and bills and Needle Needle Needle-)

It doesn't take Helix long to realize something is... off.

Ace tells him not to push it, but-

The kid's a good worker. Great, as a matter of fact. He's never late. Stays past closing, too, if they've had a rush. He tells Helix about his brother and nothing else.

(His brother hasn't come to visit.)

Everything that's not sold at the end of the day gets packaged up and given out. They only toss in the dumpster what's really, truly inedible- stuff that got dropped in the kitchen, scraps left over from customers-

He thinks it's raccoons, at first, until he peers in and sees Stitch flatten himself against a heap of bags in the corner.

They package up leftovers for him, after that. A bit more than leftovers, maybe. Ace sets aside sandwiches. Helix buys him a thermos and tells him it's been in the lost and found for over a year. They make sure he eats.

(Needle's getting transferred out of the ICU.)

Stitch is trying. He's doing everything he can, and more besides. But Needle's life is too expensive and he's buckling under the weight.

(He hasn't even grieved. Not really. No room. No time.)

Eventually, something has to give.

He does.

(He hadn't expected someone to be there to catch him.)

Featuring:

Helix stumbling into adopting first one, then two idiot kids

Ace being a supportive brother

Needle finding his way home

Mace Windu as Needle's (unfairly attractive, Helix thinks) neurologist

Obi-Wan as a hospital social worker who gets assigned Needle's file

Cody as Obi-Wan's husband, Helix's cousin, and children's book author (Stitch's favorite)

(listen I am WEAK for author!Cody, truly)

(Helix was totally the one who got them together and he regrets it every day of his life.)

Sheev Palpatine as the epitome of the evil of the American healthcare system

The Melidaan crew running a long-term, non-profit care facility that offers both in-patient and out-patient rehab services

16.) What are your writing strengths?

(I'VE PUT TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS. SHIT.)

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am, apparently, really good at writing breakdowns. >:3

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dialogue does not come easily to me. I have to work a bit to hit my stride. But I think it turns out well enough!

Hm. Coming from a purely technical perspective here, I think the reader should be able to understand everything that's spoken in a fic. If a character says something in another language, then I think the best way to convey that is, "X muttered something Y didn't catch," or, if the listener recognizes that it's at least in another language, "X muttered something in French."

If the reader should understand it, then something along the lines of: "'I knew we shouldn't have trusted him,' X muttered in French."

If the POV character doesn't understand the language, it doesn't make sense to provide the reader with a perfect transliteration of what the other character is saying. The character wouldn't have that knowledge. It can really take me out of the fic when two characters suddenly start conversing in written-out sentences in another language, and I have to scroll all the way down to the footnotes for translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

But then again, that's just my opinion- I'm sure others have their own thoughts on this!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Harry Potter.

Hell, I have to say like lightning changing hands, if only because whatever fic I'm writing at the moment is my favorite. It's the act of creation that does it for me!

(Also because it's such a good opportunity to explore so many relationship dynamics.)

No-pressure tags for @jedi-enthusiast, @themonopolyhat, @shadow-pixelle, and @foreverchangingfandomsao3!

[ineffablebros]

so i just finished Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás recently and it was such a beautiful read. If you love good omens, i mean i cant help but recommend this book if you want to read more queer retellings of the biblical stories. Now, i’m an avid mitski listener. I related Abbey to Lucifer and it’s driving me crazy.

guys there’s some spoilers in this so pls don’t read if you plan to read this book. and ik this is being posted on my good omens blog idk deal with it.

the lyrics really speak to his first thoughts and emotions when first becoming conscious.

i am hungry.

i have been hungry. i was born hungry. what do i need?

In the first chapters, he feels lost. and wants and craves God’s attention and guidance through this existence he was forced into.

I am something.

I have been something. I was born something. What could I be?

As lucifer meets God, he finds purpose as being the angel of worship. With Micheal, he finds purpose within love and himself.

There is a light that I can see

But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me

as we get deeper into the book, Lucifer is finding identity. he comes to love himself. but god has made him for another purpose. whether Lucifer could have avoided the darker energy within him or hidden his emotions of Michael is inevitable and impossible to know. because god did not allow question. whether this is destiny for lucifer or choice enforced by god, will not save him from what god put in him.

There is a dream that I sometimes see

That only appears in the dark of sleep

his thoughts towards sleep changes throughout the book. which correlates to his fall and his becoming of lucifer. his nightmares as he changes and resigns to his anger and hatred towards God.

I am waiting

I have been waiting

I was born waiting

I was born waiting

i related this more how lucifer seems to question his full potential. who can he be? what are the limits? does he have limits? and can he push them?

For that something

Just to want something

Can he have what he wants? will the powers around him allow him to have micheal? running off with him. he didn’t know that this was what he was made for and it was. he was made to love. deeply. obsessively. hungrily.

I was born something

I was born

There is a light, I feel it in me

But only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me

i related this part of the song with several parts of the book. maybe the belief in himself that micheal has allowed him to feel for himself. he feels himself change. the angels clearly see lucifer change and remain wary. the loss of his former identity that would so easily bow his head and demean himself has morphed. and he is being punished for having such feelings. surrounded by light but he sees darkness.

There is a dream and it sleeps in me

To awake in the night, crying, "Set me free"

And I awake every night, crying, "Set me free"

it really speaks to the heartbreaking part of Lucifer’s metamorphosis as the beast consumes him. he sees the beast within his dreams like an impending doom and he fears sleep like those who fear sleep as example of their death. the inevitable and ominous destiny.

dear @nicosraf

your book was beautifully written and it left me in shambles! keep up the good work <3 but fr im very excited for the next book i’ll buy it the moment it comes out and i hope you didn’t mind my ranting. hopefully it makes some sense because i just wrote this in a frenzy 💀

[thejollywriter]

What the piece you are proudest of writing and why?

What's the hardest lesson you ever learned about crafting stories?

If you could collaboratively write a novel with any person living or dead who would you want to coauthor with and why?

"What piece of writing am i Proudest of, and why?"

I legitimately don't know off the top of my head. Because once I've written something, it kind of sluices off my brain and exists in this kind of nebulous state of "yeah I wrote a thing." unless, of course, it's brand new, and i need to show it to everyone immediately right now this instant or i will simply PERISH.

I'm very proud of the little mystery story I wrote earlier this year. I also, whilst scrolling through an album of sea-shanties one night, heard a song that like. CONSUMED my brain, and a story flashed into being all at once. And I proceeded to, in a fit of absolute motivation, write like 10,000 words in a single sitting to sate that creative need.

It was a Lot. but I'm very proud of it. It's also aesthetically different to most of the things I've written. It's on my patreon to read but yeah. I think that's the proudest one.

Though I will say: i may not be the best judge of what's really good that i've written? My friend Eve has read a LOT of my writing and one of her faves is this thing called Red Canvas. Premise is, a bad guy (we don't know he's a bad guy at the start, but there are Hints) encounters Delilah Jones one night on a rooftop. She's had a Bad Day, and is in a deeply fucked up way.

He convinces her to meet him, every morning, on that rooftop. He goes up there to paint the sunrise, catch the lights as they play across the skyscrapers and stuff. And he teaches her to paint. But it's a story about Delilah from the perspective of an outsider who doesn't know her, her reputation, or what she does. Just that she's Big, and she can Think. I am quite proud of that, but Eve RAVES about this particular story. so.

I'm proud of what I finish, because I managed to finish it.

"What's the hardest lesson you ever learned about crafting stories?"

Motivation has to come from You. You can't let other people be your Muse or your inspiration or things like that. They can give you pieces, they can give ideas and maybe even notes, but the internal combustion that makes you face that blank document HAS to come from within you.

Because if your Muse betrays your devotion, if you lose the inspiration, you'll wind up broken. And then you have to learn how to write, all over again. And you'll be starting from almost a worst place than simply square one.

It has to come from within, first. Validation, support, all that stuff makes it worthwhile, and helps us keep going.

But first the drive has to come from within.

"Who's the dream collab?"

I don't have one, full stop. I love peoples' stories because THEY wrote them. I don't know how Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett wrote Good Omens. They've both talked about How They Wrote It, but my autistic ass is out here being like, "nah son i'm a control freak and i don't play like that."

But it's also just kind of my writing process. A story only works for me if, as I write it, What Happens Next occurs to me. if someone else gives me that, i have to twist it somehow. I can't just take the plot point.

But that's just me. I don't want to make something with others, I just want more of what everybody already makes. Although. There are worlds I'd love to play in. Others' sandboxes I'd love to explore some. But that's more, they let me play with their toys, not, we play with them together to create a Thing.

Thank you for the ask <3

[aphel1on]

tag someone you want to get to know better

tagged by @woobifiedvillain a few days ago and finally remembered to do it!!

Favorite color: Yellow, but not an overwhelming yellow, like that soft warm yellow? I love it. People tend to not expect this answer, I think I give off more of a blue or grey vibe. Honestly a pretty grey/silver is probably my second favorite color, but a buttery yellow is just so good for the soul.

Last song: You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Danced to it in the kitchen, got consumed by the guitar riffs, nearly knocked a chair over. Before this morning it would've been the Genshin OST... I've been listening to it a lot while I write or do chores recently.

Last movie: An exceedingly mediocre romcom on Netflix that I watched with my sick mom to be nice. Genuinely couldn't tell you the title or more than like, two or three plot points. Last movie that I watched bc I wanted to was the Barbie movie, which was genuinely better than I expected. Enjoyable but would still give it, like, a mixed review. I'm not getting into two months' ago Barbie Movie Discourse on this post

Currently watching: I'M STILL TRYING TO FINISH THE UNTAMED!!!! woobifiedvillain i'm speaking directly to you and quoting you: i too am "chronically incapable of paying attention to visual media, even the good shit" and when i try to explain this to people irl they act like i am insane!!! I haven't watched Good Omens season 2 yet even tho I am reblogging posts about it rn. I think it's mostly adhd, or really just a part of the larger Neurodivergence Soup (tm) that makes it nearly impossible for me to learn something from a YouTube video. I mean, sometimes for a hands-on task a video is essential, but can't there be a written list of instructions to go with it too, bc that sticks in my mind way better sobs... ANYWAY i'm currently on episode 43 of The Untamed, so I should be able to finish it by, like. The end of the year at least lol?

Currently reading: I started reading SVSSS recently because, like. The mxtx mania is in full throttle. I just got here a little later than most people lmao. I'm also currently "reading" like seven different books that I bought or pirated this year and have on hold. One of my Unfortunate Skills is bingereading like 200 pages of something in 1-2 days and then not finishing the rest of it for 8 months.

Currently working on: Keep My Shadow Alive, my big xue yang-centric fix it fic!!! Well, more like a fix it, and then break it more, and then eventually actually fix it fic. Starting from the canon divergence of "Add Pre-Teen Xue Yang to the Burial Mounds Fam" and going from there. I read every fic like that that's on ao3 and was still being eaten alive by the brainworms so I started writing my own take on it and ~6 months later it's the longest fic I've ever written and only 25% of the way through its outline???? So. Who knows if it will get finished (my track record is admittedly not great)- but I've had such a blast writing it so far. Xue Yang is just SO fun to write. Yes it has a plot and character arcs and I could even go full English Major* and start telling you about its Themes, but also it's just an excuse to write Xue Yang interacting with every member of the MDZS cast. Going to STOP talking now bc I fully am the type of writer who will get carried away talking about their wips.

*i am not an english major, but spiritually i am an english major.

Current obsession: Yeah uh, MDZS. My friend convinced me to finally read it in January of this year, and the hyperfixation train has simply not stopped since then. Genshin Impact also dragged me back in with the Fontaine update and I've been having a lot of fun playing it. But MDZS is still mostly the thing that's eating up my RAM. Particularly the Yi City crew, but 3zun is rotating in there too. Sometimes even The Man WWX Himself, i talk about him less but i do love him a lot also lol

Tagging: I'm honestly too shy to do this!!! But thank you for tagging me anyway<3

[flownintothesun]

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑!

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑(𝐒): Seaglass blues and greens ; summer grass green. Blues and greens in general.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑(𝐒): I like spicy / savory foods a lot. I enjoy food a lot and don't have a ton of food aversions - so I enjoy everything from time to time and like variety rather a lot. Also, I like lemons. Both the writing kind and the flavor.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂: I am one of those odd ones that really likes at least a handful of things from every genre. I have pretty eclectic taste in music though if I had to pick one genre it would probably be Gaelic/Celtic folk? Or more modern folk music? I like showtunes a lot, too and 00's rock / punk rock. But a little bit of everything (all of the time). I haven't gotten much of a start on my 2024 playlist, but here's 2023's.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄(𝐒): Moulin Rouge! (2001), Thumbelina (1994), Cinderella (2015), Big Fish (2003), Patch Adams (1998), The Pebble and the Penguin (1995), The Last Unicorn (1982), Lord of the Rings (2001-), Hunger Games (2012-), Howl's Moving Castle (2004), basically all of Ghibli tbh, Elemental (2023). Honorable Mentions: Les Miserables, Moana, Matilda, Robin Hood, Princess and the Goblin, Onward, How to Train Your Dragon, Love Simon, Red White & Royal Blue, The Greatest Showman, The Little Mermaid, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Labyrinth, The Princess Bride, Maleficent + many, many more...

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: I don't have a current favorite, if I'm being honest? Things I've enjoyed in the past: Many anime/Ghibli as a wee one, Disney, Harry Potter way way back when, Lord of the Rings, X-Men: Evolution, Dexter, Game of Thrones, Reign, LOST, Supernatural (RIP), Our Flag Means Death, Good Omens (still only seen s1), Sense8, Doctor Who, YOU, Anne With an E, Yuuri!!! On Ice, The Walking Dead, Glee, and probably many more that I'm forgetting to be honest.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆: Get in the Water (Morgan Clae cover) I am OBSESSED. Big sea god Westley vibes.:)

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: Hmm...Our Flag Means Death? I have seen every episode but the last with Havu and have started a rewatch with Nonny.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄: I binged the Lord of the Rings trilogy last weekend. :) Most of the movies I watch are comfort and feel good movies with Nonny though. I really enjoy our movie nights and it's something we've been doing since the early days of our friendship. Sharing media both ways with loved ones is a love language for me.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆: I recently finished the Rise of the Empress series, which I highly recommend. I am tentatively about to start the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I'm trying to ease myself back into reading after a rough year without putting too much pressure on it. ♡

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆: Started The Great with @smokedanced Thanksgiving week but we've not watched in some time and should pick that up soon! I've had a hard time consuming most media this year which is a crying shame.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍: Not losing my mind? Hehe. Um, honestly just getting organized in life and getting through this little bit of a hard spell. I've been writing a lot with Nonny and not doing a whole lot else other than adulting and managing my illnesses as best as I can lately. But I hope to work toward being more active here again soon. :) ♡

Tagged by: @realmyths (thank you! ♡) Tagging: Everyone? There are too many people I don't know as well as I'd like to yet. Tag me so I can read!

[ana-chronista]

9 people you’d like to get to know better! Thanks for the tag, @esskuesli - it's been ages since I've done one of these! three ships: To the surprise of nobody here, let’s go with Bojere and Jance as the first two. If you asked me seven months ago if I’d ever return to RPF, the answer would have been a resounding no. And yet here I am... As a third, let’s go for Bagginshield (Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins), as this was the last fandom I was heavily involved in before possibly the world’s longest hiatus! first ship: I’m not sure I can even remember exactly which one, but I first got introduced to fanfiction and shipping via Harry Potter. It was so long ago that the books were still coming out (and, y'know, before JKR started torching her legacy), and there were major shipping wars between Harry/Hermione and Ron/Hermione. So probably something around that. last song: ‘Water Slides’ by Mew. (I would love to know how they come up with the ideas for their videos, I really would...) last film: It’s been a while since I went to the cinema, so the last one I saw out was Barbie. At home, I’ve probably since rewatched Hot Fuzz. It’s one of those films you just have to see time and again... for the greater good... currently reading: I’ve finally got round to picking up ‘The Thirtieth Year’ (‘Das dreißigste Jahr’) by Ingeborg Bachmann after meaning to read the whole thing for ages. In translation this time though – I’m being lazy. I’m also reading ‘A Life With Footnotes’, the Terry Pratchett biography by his assistant/business manager Rob Wilkins. I’m a huge fan of Discworld/Good Omens, so it's really interesting to find out more about how he came to be who he was and I feel like it’s the closest it could be to an autobiography without him having written the whole thing himself, if that makes sense? currently watching: Within the past week, I’ve managed to finish Bodies, Lupin Season 3 and All The Light We Cannot See, and now I’m at a bit of a loose end. I’ll probably be catching up with Loki Season 2 next. (Incidentally if anyone would like to chat about any of these, feel free - especially Lupin, I have THOUGHTS!) currently consuming: Strawberry and raspberry tea. currently craving: Pasta bake – something with lots of cheese and a crispy topping. It’s freezing outside so perfect weather for it!

I think most people have probably been tagged already, but if you haven't and you'd like to do it: @frikatilhi @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare @greensolsikke @sparklitive-sonya @pippitypippin @i-wasnt-ready-for-this @technicallycleverdetective and anyone else who would like to give it a go!

[wispcherry]

second time around on the same url baby! I swear I am NOT a bot

hi okay so this is, at the moment, a fanpage. probably for fanart and mumblings and what have you. really been consumed by good omens (+ related Europeans) lately but i also get silly with poetry, geology, linguistics, art, Scooby Doo for some reason, dungeons and dragons, Zelda. I cannot stress it enough that I'm into Mitski, and everything queer under the sun. and out of it. we here at wispcherry stay goofy.

tag guides for your favoritest weird guy:

Good Omens (Good Fucking Grief Neil)

#past my ear = good omens reblogs! not my own thing

#the plume of my imaginary tante = my own ramblings about good omens.

Still working on a fanart tag because. I haven't posted fanart yet.

Supernatural (I haven't finished it so I can only post + look at so much. Grief)

#big super naturals = my own original spn posts. you're a tumblite you know what spn is

Scooby Doo

#ruh roh. reblog = this franchise consumed me at a young age

ZELDAAAAA

#skyward shitposting = im too tired for separate game tagging. love link and zelda though

Staged

#six characters in search of one single braincell = our boys.

Unhhh/Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova

#i got a sunburn and im fucked now = definitely unhhh, until I post more this might just be an umbrella tag

gritted teeth. dungeons and dragons / dropout

#two hundred and twenty five adult blog posts = fantasy high reblogs and posts...

#hairy baby spam = the unsleeping city... oh god..

Castlevania. Drops to my Knees.

#my immortal netflix adaptation = feral about this but the hyperfixaton hasn't kicked into full swing yet

ohhhhgod. Doctor Who

#just a few days ago i was this really brilliant secondary blog = im on series 2 baby

ATLA (all versions. we don't talk about the old live action)

#the newly refurbished blog tag

ace attorney trilogy

#gay japanese and european. triple homocide

the other ones :]

#beanfreaking = just me carping around on this account. bein a little guy. reblogs and original bits

#wispy bits = it's a staged reference. it's men. it's. i like men. men related thing. women and others too. just folks i like :]. reblogs and original bits

#queue idiot. we could have been us = IM SORRY LMAO. queued bits.

if you want to get to know a brief bit about me:

Hi, my name is Monty, I'm a trans. Something. and I use he/they pronouns. 17 going on 18. Filipino-Japanese-German-Irish. It's a mouthful. Unfortunately a boykisser, luckily a ladyliker, always an appreciation for those in between. Friendly to most. Most. I think roleplaying is kind of sick (positive connotation) and that being in fandoms is positively delightful. AI is shit. Free Palestine. TERFs, MAPs, MRAs, fascists, you know the like, can fuck off. ACAB. Unless it's Inspector Constable. (Can't say much about inspectors and constables, I'm from the states.) I'm a silly guy but please be decent on the page. And off of it.

[orphicpoieses]

Get to know me

Again thanks for the tag, @mariahwritesstuff 💕 I love being tagged in stuff like this!

I tag @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @eli-writes-sometimes @lockejhaven @365runesofwriting @thetruearchmagos @yourfriendlywriter @moonlitinks @enchantress-of-words @mirrorthoughts @leafamaranth @blind-the-winds @writingpotato07 @writingbyricochet @j-1173 and anyone who wants to join in on this!

Three Ships: I don't really have ships, since I don't really ship people from other books or movies. The only ship I have is Crowley X Aziraphale from Good Omens (I do have many ships from my own works though...)

First Ship: Again Crowley X Aziraphale from Good Omens

Last Song I Listened to: I listen to so much music that I don't really know anymore... It could be How to Dream by Sam Phillips...

Last Movie I watched: The Pale Blue Eye, seriously, one of the best movies I've watched!

Currently Reading: Too much xD On one hand The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama, on the other The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. I may have some other books on that list, but these are the books I stick to currently the most.

Currently watching: Emily in Paris, I just finished my rewatch from Gilmore Girls and since I am waiting for new and interesting fantasy series, I take a break from long ass stories on Netflix xD

Currently consuming: Oh, I don't consume anything currently besides the music I am currently listening to while writing this. But food-wise, the last thing I ate was a bowl of banana-peanutbutter porridge for breakfast.

Currently craving: A good fantasy tv show, some writing inspiration and a nice salmon bowl.

[imaginationisveryrapid]

Tag people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @tm-trx - Thank you! ☺️

Three Ships

Buck x Eddie (9-1-1) - They’ve had a grip on me since early 2020 when they showed up on my dash and have never let go since. I have no clue if they’ll ever go canon, but I’m going to root for them always.

Pacey x Joey (Dawson’s Creek) - I can’t call them my first ship, but it’s a close damn thing. I remember watching DC every week and just despising Dawson. I know it was technically his creek, but damn was he annoying, especially when he was with Joey. And then there was Pacey. Still one of my favorite television characters ever. They were so cute together and seasons 3 & 4 of the show were just excellent, mostly because of their chemistry and how many scenes they shared.

Bella x Jasper (Twilight) - Team Edward/Team Jacob, who? To be honest, I don’t really know where this one came from. I have just been in the mood recently to read some Bella x Jasper fic, and luckily there are some excellent ones out there. These moods have always ebbed and flowed, but this pairing always seems to come back every so often and they’ve got a grip on me right now. I’ve even started rewatching clips from the movies (??? what am I doing with my life???) and looking for fanvids on YouTube. I’ve always gone for the unexpected/rare pairings, I guess. Thank fuck for fanfic and fan created works.

First Ship

Kimberly x Jason (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) - Does it make sense? Not so much. But I haven’t ever made sense, even as a child. I always remember being mad that Kimberly got with Tommy and would think up scenarios that could change canon even way back then. I was writing fanfic in my head before I even knew what it was. I wasn’t joking about those unexpected/rare pairings.

Last Song

Volcano Girls by Veruca Salt - Alternative rock has always been my number one genre, particularly 90s alt rock and female-led bands are badass. This song is so kickass.

Last Movie

The Proposal - Needed a mindless rewatch of something cute, that I’d seen before.

Currently Reading

Fight Like Hell: The Untold History of American Labor by Kim Kelly - Just got this one from the library and haven’t read too many chapters yet, but it’s great so far!

Currently Watching

9-1-1 - Finally getting around to finishing my rewatch of the series with my mom that we started last year. Just made it to the halfway point of season 4. I am in no way prepared for 4x13 and 4x14. 😬

Puppet History - Doing a complete rewatch of the series, now that the latest season is finished. I do a lot of rewatches, I’ve noticed, lol.

Good Omens - I saw stuff on Tumblr when the first season came out, but I was able to get the DVD set from the library and I’m finally watching it the whole way through.

Ghosts (CBS) - I watch this one every week with my mom and my aunt.

Currently Consuming

Water - it’s almost 1am here. If I tried to eat or drink something else now, I’ll be up even later.

Currently Craving

Fries. Always fries.

Tagging some folks from my notes (but no pressure of course): @sarcasticfina @holypiercednipplesbatman @molly2009 @organizedstardust @periru3 @calculated2stagger @bleakmonday

[krillest1]

Week 6: Feeling Bad Feels Good

HEWWO It has been another strange week. I'm slipping away from normal interaction more quickly than I thought. This week, on a related note, I got anxious a few times just being around people. This is an ill omen, and usually precedes quite a bit of dysfunction in my life. There is, however, much to be grateful for. I have the first glimmerings of an out from my current job (which I hate). I also finished the bible this week, and consumed all sorts of fun media. I am a prolific consumer, which I'm sure will come up more fully in a future post (if this continues...). Feeling uncomfortable provides a good chance to step back and let go of those deeply-rooted-ego-things, to orient myself towards the interesting, and be taken up in a righteous anger. Just kidding about the righteous anger part. A couple of weeks ago, while talking to someone I don't know very well, I brought up the point that most structures/things in society bottom out at feeling good. They were not terribly interested in this point, so I thought I'd interrogate it a little further here

FEELING GOOD Being an (often wrong) observer of people, I've noticed that they often feel good doing 'natural' things. Socialization is a pretty good example here. We talk about interacting with people as natural, but the reason people engage with others (I think) is that it feels good. No man is an island, because islands are sad. Going to church, for example, provides a chance to interact with others, to feel part of a larger narrative, blah blah blah, doesn't matter, the point is that they feel good. In a similar vein, people feel good being touched, or touching, or laughing, or drinking, or doing whatever. A related point: the idea of being neurodivergent here is pretty interesting. There's a certain population for whom the 'natural' things do not feel good, and are not opened up to them in the same way. I think (more on this later) that without these good feelings, the things we do start to feel arbitrary. Should we chalk this up to the atypical being 'unnatural,' or should we object to the 'natural' as a category? I'm not sure, but I like the framing. To return, and maybe be a bit more consistent in the approach: do our actions 'bottom out' at feeling good? Aristotle comes to mind here. In Nicomachean Ethics, he talks about the role pleasure plays in the good (and remember that the good in this context is a mean (actually it's only a mean for stupid people, but whatever) that ultimately aims at our happiness). While I can't speak to the specifics (I need the mean, not contemplation), Aristotle defends the idea that pleasure accompanies 'the good.' Pleasure actually emerges as something which... not quite interrupts, but completes an action. It's the end of a process, not the process itself, or something along those lines. I hate to say it, but this is the framework we're running with. Forget the 'aiming at a mean' stuff, and focus more on the idea of pleasure accompanying the good, and pleasure as interruptionish. I do not want to imply here that pleasure is the good (neither, I think, does Aristotle); instead, I'd like to gesture towards the fact that the things we talk about as being good (as being happy, as being natural (is our natural state happy? I think these two get conflated)) are accompanied by pleasure... most of the time

FEELING BAD My body is not structured for pleasure in this way. Aristotle would probably diagnose me with akrasia, but as a committed materialist the idea of a 'will' feels too vague. Before the analysis, though, an explanation. My body is an uncomfortable thing to be in. Why start with the body? Because I take it that pleasure and the body are interrelated in some important way. My body, on the other hand, does not get pleasure from things like touch. My hands, for example, are so sweaty that touching another fills me and them with a sort of repulsion. I'm sure mine is learned, but the disgust in the other is not. Touch, in other words, is not a source of pleasure for me. Even if it's not using hands, a hug, a headpat (anime coded, what the hell), and even 'bones' (the bumping-of-fists-as-greeting-or-celebration) feel wrong to me. A similar thing happens with socialization. Being alone feels bad, but so does being around other people. I am not neurodivergent, but that population came up above and I think bolsters this point. For some people, in short, the natural is not pleasurable. The good/the right is also not pleasurable, or at least not available in a similar way. Sometimes, though, feeling bad can feel good. I'm not talking about anything as explicitly sexual as masochism (though there's something quite interesting going on there, sweeten your mouth with some Deleuze). Instead, I'm talking about the secondary feeling-good that comes from my feeling bad. Sometimes, for example, I notice that I'm making someone I'm talking to feel bad/weird. This, in turn, makes me feel bad. I then, however, feel good that I notice this feeling bad, and I feel good that I cannot fit. It forces me outside, and things seem strange and exciting from the outside. This is, after reading what I've read, too romantic. I am a strange and disturbing thing. This does not feel good. What does feel good is being thrust into the unknown, and being forced to evaluate things all the time. If things bottomed out at feeling good for me, I don't think I'd be as interested in the world/my unknowing as I am. Maybe there's some weakness of will here, and maybe I'm doing a disservice to those who are well adjusted and evaluate the world. Who knows. I should also note that even though I find unknowing interesting and exciting, I am an idiot. This feels bad. I'm currently working on a strategy, however, to make this bad feel good. Nice.

TYING TOGETHER I've been throwing terms around willy-nilly today. I've also done some tricky things with the idea of the 'natural' and the 'good.' I'm hoping to trace the relationship between those two concepts a bit more closely here, before an undoubtedly fascinating close. The reason I tied the natural, the good, and the pleasurable together is that I think people often talk (no language discussion here, much too much) about the three as being related. To return to the church example (sorry, I just read the bible), people feel good at church because they are doing a 'good' thing and feeling this type of good is natural. I should not here the distinction between the natural and the pastoral that Christianity emphasizes, and maybe push back against the idea of natural pleasure being embraced by Christianity. Still, we can make an appeal to a meta-approach, and say that man is a social animal rewarded (with delicious chemicals and receptors) when (s)he interacts with others. Ok, not super clear, lets try again right Here. Wanting pleasure seems, to me, to be natural. Happiness (to do Aristotle a disservice) is the aim of our actions, we get some pleasure related to happiness. So far so good. When, however, we are poorly designed (not quite unnatural, but not capable of extracting pleasure) things get a bit more complicated. We can appeal to reason to care for others in some way, but even this is complicated. This is another post, but the way we care for others maybe should not make us feel good. Comforting others maybe ought to be uncomfortable, and maybe is a process that consistently falls apart. We mourn with those that mourn, we don't get them to stop mourning. Not sure, I've lost the thread again.

DENOUMENT I am ashamed of this post. I spent a lot of time trying to understand Aristotle, but I'm way off here. Even though I claim not to care, I want to appear as something smart and capable. I'm working, however, on gratitude in my unknowing (this is the trick to feel good about feeling bad about being an idiot referenced above). More generally, things are going alright. There are times when I feel very scared about the future and my failures. This assumes some way things ought to be though, and I'm working on not thinking of things in those terms. Rent Strike released an album a week or two ago, go listen to that it's pretty good. I feel that this week was particularly rambling. I'm also, relatedly, working on seeing the unknown in its clarity; I ought to be more careful with what I write and say. I (unsurprisingly) need to feel the weight of language more often. I am going to quit my job, I think, which hopefully means I'll be unemployed for Halloween. I'm hoping to keep reading, keep being grateful in my unknowing, and keep seeing people in their strangeness. Love ya.

[enochianghost]

tagged by @fortunechaos <3

Three Ships: i dont care enough about shipping to know how to answer this question. it's fun to think about but i dont really have favorites or otps

First Ship: yeah same as above. at what point does a child watching a disney movie and not being bothered by the prince and princess kissing become 'shipping' instead of just...idk consuming a movie

Last Song: Ride With Us - Nomi(I was just playing star stable lol)

Last Movie: The Neverending Story I think? It was a while ago. We've been watching shows more than movies lately haha

Currently Reading: technically percy jackson but it's been a little while since I've actually read any of it

Currently Watching: The Batman(2004) and also Rise TMNT and also I just finished rewatching Good Omens

Currently Consuming: the last thing i ate was a croissant but that was a while ago

Currently Craving: a fucking nap

People I'd like to know better: look man i am so tired. i do not want to tag ppl. if you read this entire thing i'm tagging you. you have to do it now

[marisbuzi]

introductory post <3

hey!

i am marina (or mar) and this a blog i made to track my progress in learning languages and studying for uni, in hopes that i will actually stick to a schedule and be more productive bc this ain't it my dudes...

here are some things about me, in case my blog caught your attention:

info about me

i am 19 and i use she/her/they

sun in virgo, istp (changes every trimester tbh)

cat person<333 (i adooooore dogs as well but cats have a special place in my heart)

just finished (as of summer 2023) my first year in uni! i am studying computer science and it is boring af (for me) but three years left yoohoo!

i started teaching myself italian during quarantine but it got overwhelming because i couldn't maintain a schedule so i dropped it after six months

i started spanish lessons on october of 2022 and i am currently moving from a1 to a2 level

i also have a c2 level proficiency in english yay me for being gay and on ao3

speaking of gay, i am probably aroace (or i have major attachment issues but who knows)

things i'll post about

reblogs of advice and posts about the languages i am studying, computer science etc. you can find these kind of posts here (the link is https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/reblogs)

my own original posts about the languages i am learning and computer science. mainly advice, memes etc (you can find these posts here for languages and here for computer science (correspondingly, https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/mar-lang and https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/mar-compsci)

progress tracking posts. hopefully, each week. worst case scenario, two times a month (you can find these posts here (the link is https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/mar-progress)

media i am consuming

films/series: good omens (i am not talking about this series without a lawyer), used to be a huge supernatural fan, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (both the 1980 series and the 2005/1995 movies), BARBIE, CAPTAIN MARVEL and BLACK WIDOW (best mcu movies istg), STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE and so on and so on

games: currently i am obsessed with sims 4 (and the mods. the mods.). also i started playing genshin impact in 2022 and despite being quite awful at fights with big bosses, i cant spend hours going after slimes, hilichurls and exploring. god i love exploring.

books: i am currently under a severe reading slump (seriously send help) but i became obsessed with all for the game by nora sakavic two years ago and if i get sick if i don't reread all three books every month<3 0/10 awful books but i would die for them and their characters. my main blog isn't @fuckyeahjeanmoreau for no reason! i also love pride and prejudice and a bunch of ao3 fics<33333

music: right so i listen to pretty much everything as long as its lyrics are decent (see not sexist/homophobic etc). what i listen depends on my mood but take a look at my spotify if you want and let me know if we have songs in common! some favourite albums include: preacher's daughter by ethel cain (i am convinced it's the best album in the history of albums), folklore/evermore by taylor swift, melodrama by lordre, and the whole discography by bts (and each member's solo activity)

(if we have anything in common i'd love to talk to you and scream over it in dms so don't hesitate to reach out or send an ask!)

adiós, mar <3