#i just feel really anxious
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City of Tears. But Mini.
I wanted to make an atmospheric art piece with Dewi. And the City of Tears is one of the most sorrowing, beautiful, and grand places to do that. This is a lot of firsts for me regarding the architecture and lighting. The shadows cover a lot, and it may have been too much. I'm happy with how it turned out tho.
No idea how Dewi found his way into the City. Probably magic. Probably plot too :) But oh boy, he is experiencing childlike wonder in his raincoat!
This is a better show of the line detail I needlessly covered up in the final lol
#I love the idea that Ghost's resting spot is always on Dewi's hat. It's a great vantage point for spotting potential threats!#Quirrel doesnt mind the rain. But he'd rather not be walking around with Dewi 20 stories above him#Hornet is on the look out so that Dewi doesnt mess up anything#And Hollow is just enjoying the rain#dewi's adventures in hollow knight#hk fanart#Im really happy with it turned out#hollow knight#pure vessel#city of tears#dewi#hk#urg I still need to figure out human noses and I was getting really anxious about showing this just for that one fact alone.#trying my best. I have to keep my head up even with my imposter feelings. Otherwise i wont post
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my lovely mutuals and followers and circle of dykes. i am BEGGING YOU to stop reblogging that "NSAIDS while on spiro damages your liver" post. there have been MANY additions in the comments expanding on the risk factors of mixing these medications (and i HIGHLY recommend looking in the comments. @/boringkate assesses the risk beautifully in there, and many others are in the reblogs expanding on the interactions and risks as well). all those aside - the major risk of mixing NSAIDs and any diuretic (not limited to, but including ibuprofen snd spiro) is RENAL (KIDNEY) PROBLEMS!!! NOT LIVER!!! and the most frequent version ive seen to that post does Not do a good enough job clarifying that "renal function" is related to your kidneys, not your liver. there are some effects that will happen on the liver eventually of course, but the premise of the interactions is wrong in and of itself and this kind of misinformation is kind of dangerous to just take at face value/without curiousity
i encourage you to read the actual drugs.com summary on the interactions between NSAIDs and spiro that keeps being referenced in that post (more on this under the cut). it is a moderate interaction manageable with increased hydration (your kidneys love water!) and, if you're taking spiro under the supervision of a doctor, monitoring of your renal function via blood tests. and i understand feeling betrayed learning there are potential interactions between all NSAIDs and diuretics because these risks are often not clearly communicated by doctors themselves, but in the pharmacy and usually in that packet that comes with your meds that most people are more likely to toss than read - but please do not make sudden rapid changes to your healthcare plans or work yourself into a panic on ever taking a pain med ever again based on that post and PLEASE fact check things you read on the internet before spreading it as Health Facts, even if its just looking up what different words mean to understand more of what you're reading. i also really do encourage y'all to read on how kidneys work and this is a really nice overview
the risk of kidney problems mostly occurs if you are (1) taking regular doses of both medications (2) NOT drinking enough fluids (3) not communicating with your doctor about all the medications you are taking. if you are taking spiro as a treatment provided by a doctor and are worried about kidney problems after that post, by all means talk to them and ask about getting a blood test to check your kidneys function/health!! im not discouraging this!! your doctor likely isnt bringing this up in the first place though because (in my cursory glance over the sources) many of these studies cited even in the drugs.com article "specific" to ibuprofen and spiro are about a variety of diuretics interactions with a variety of NSAIDs. the ones that arent paywalled are also either acute case studies about elderly patients on diuretics (so who Already have kidney problems/elimination issues) who developed heart issues after diuretics treatement or observational studies specifically on men in good health ages 20-38 to specifically look at drug interactions in the body. in the more acute cases, with proper management/alternative medications almost every single case was reversible and resolvable. many of these medications in these papers also are ones I have not heard of or taken, so i did look up every single drug i didnt recognize by name references to confirm my initial assumption that the reason this is labeled a Moderate instead of low risk interaction is because All NSAIDS and diuretics have potential interactions (confirmed also that the major effect is that NSAIDS have the potential to reduce the efficacy of diuretics, which leads to fluid and salt retention, which can lead to other issues - namely heart issues in the most extreme cases) with variable effects based on specific combination of the drugs used, the patients specific health, and the dosage (not just the size of dose, but the timing as well).
as an aside: if you habitually are taking frequent (read: daily/scheduled, not a one off for a headache or other body pains) doses of OTC NSAIDs, Regardless of taking diuretics, you NEED to tell your doctor because even though its available over the counter (at least in the US) it is still a major medication in your life/relevant to your physiochemistry!! OTC medications are often overlooked by doctors and people alike because they are seen as ubiquitous and to many doctors OTC pain meds, like NSAIDS, are assumed be used in acute pain situations where the dosage is minimal/infrequent enough it will likely have little to no long term effect with other medications.
#bunny rambles#pls read the whole thing if u saw that and are feeling scared ;~;#I'm really anxious this is gonna be taken in the worst possible ways but im also.. deeply anxious! because misinformation like this is scar#and makes people unnecessarily scared and it was a total mistake - nd the one commenter I'm thinking of even mentioned that it didnt do the#best job at clarifying - but people are still rbing the post with it's addition that doesn't really help and i just. really cant not share#anyway if ur wondering my “expertise” or whatever im a biochemist and have been studying science (not enthusiastic interest but like. doing#research. reading papers. learning the field of biology/biochem since 18 (i got really lucky with getting into a research program my 1st yr#of college and thats when i started to read papers and critically assess scientific texts also))#i dont like. using my experience sometimes cause im so scared of being taken as bossy or just. completely wrong bc im not a like World#Known Scientist or anyone even significant in the field im a tech still but like. idk. i just want my circles at least to have more info#to be able to make informed decisions#im sorry this is so long too i just. ah#im so nervous and it shows lol#celebrity bun
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today’s warm up doodle was show sansa and arya in 2004 bc I was feeling nostalgic with special guest appearance from bedroom picture I found on pinterest (rickon and bran have the ds)
#sansa stark#arya stark#is there a modern au tag?#I’m not a modern au person really#I was just feeling nostalgic w a friend when I started my warm up doodle#ignore how sloppy it is it’s literally a doodle#I’m so anxious about my teeth still lol#art comms open#the starklings#house stark#asoiaf fanart#polydoesart#asoiaf#modern au#eddard stark#bran stark#rickon stark
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because today has been a Bizzyboy kick for me i decided to sketch my hcs about the height and builds of these guys. who knows if i draw them like this again or iterate upon the designs though.
Also calling out how horribly I dressed Grujaja. theres a reason i did it but its still foul XC
#ggg spoilers#great god grove#ggg hector#ggg capochin#ggg bizzyboys#please dont make me tag all the boys please i have a family#I feel like the default in my brain for Bizzyboys is pretty short and more on the fatter side personally#vibiano is in my headcanon normal “tall” drainfolk height range#patty is very very short#which is why Hector and Gruja being this tall in my designs makes me laugh because its just#“WHAT DID THEY FEED YOU. YALL TOO BIG. SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW.”#Hector did not earn his height at all with his canon diet. get short THIS instant.#Anyway the sole reason Grujaja isnt heavier set is because he's so anxious the amount of shaking he does counts as a fullbody workout daily#he also dresses like a super depressed ex military to the absolute suffering of Vibiano#also fun fact i love seeing which guys were struck w divine inspiration from sketch. alexei baby i knew what u looked like in my minds eye#the other designs have visible plotting lines and it hit alexei and my hand went “i got this boss”#and then i immediately lost the ability to draw#really funny to imagine Gruja joining this squad after last post causing capo to have a stroke#“WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN BIG.”#that was a kid he could toss and now if he even thinks about it gruja can send him across the fuckin grove#also making my stance on the cupo size war known despite my past joke about him cutting them off#anyyyywayyy enough rambles take my silly doodle headcanons
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
#positivity#disability positivity#partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability#i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue#and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect#but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy#but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do#and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst#man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe...#...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him...#...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed...#...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that...#...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried
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having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made
when in need, mash two interests together
#i love him so muhc ghghgh#and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm#if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine#im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down#tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row#theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh..#but yeah i promise im still here#and i want to draw him when i can#but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now#i hope u understand#sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh#my art#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#nordidia art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#id in alt text#also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but#i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank#and it stuck like that#so its really rough on my hands#sadly
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just by doing what i’m able, with my elbows on the table.
"So many people write songs about horrible, horrible, horrible things. Famous people are always gonna be bad, and always gonna have supporters."
#all words are lyrics of cluster a-ok by 4lung#feel free to interpret this any way you’d like#there’s no definitive reason or purpose with this piece lmfao#i was just feeling and it’s representative of that#best way i could explain it is fan’s anxiety and mental illness#fan doesn’t really make people “worried” about him in normal scenarios per se but he’s offputting#he’s always really offputting. i suppose that’s something i tried to capture here. you don’t really know what to expect of him but he knows#what to expect of you.#there’s some characters who have a grasp of him of course like test tube or suitcase but i subconsciously made this looking through the#lens of a character like paper. you always feel on guard and defensive around him because he loves to twist his faults onto others#again this is also just kind of. he’s messed up#vaguely inspired by suitcase’s concern for his mental health in ep13#i alllsooo think fan with paranoia is a very interesting concept#he’s so fucking anxious#yap over i was analyzing my own art#fan ii#ii fan#ii 2#osc#inanimate insanity#ii fanart#inanimate insanity fandom#fan inanimate insanity#osc art#osc fanart#object show art#aquart
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dream stans here who are multifandom, how do u deal with there being outspoken antis (whether its anything between a loud group to literal thousands of them) in ur other fandom(s) bc i feel like im walking on eggshells and unwelcome solely because of who i like and its beyond shit. i can barely interact with anyone like god i applaud your strength bc im literally about to lose my patience with the p.handom and its been just 5 months đź’€
#i will actually throw my computer out the window next time someone i follow on alt rbs drm neg#or does some fucking callout post SHUT UP I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!! and neither does anyone else other than drama obsessed idiots#with this whole thing it doesn’t help that I'm very anxious and paranoid (ha) in general#after surviving pretty much every controversy here from late 2021 onwards#it's almost like I've been conditioned to feel like I'm bad/wrong/etc for just for liking a goddamn youtuber. i love ocd#seeing countless hate posts about us or dream with thousands of likes has just really taken its toll after 4 years idk#ghost woes#discourse
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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Bootblacking is my favourite kink to give Izzy, because of course this guy would get his rocks off doing precise, repetitive, manual labour. OF COURSE he gets off on what is essentially just another chore on his list.
#this is genuine btw#i think it fits his character so wonderfully#taking this time to relax & forget about everything else. to kneel at his lovers feet and fall into a sort of trance doing the same motion#over and over. the satisfaction of a task well done.#i also think he often struggles to calm his brain down- too busy thinking about what still needs doing and what could go wrong-#so he finds it hard to allow himself the time to truly relax. something like bootblacking lets him feel like hes doing something while also#getting to have that moment of peace he so desperately needs#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#nsft#a little. mostly to be safeeeeee#thinking about ed tricking him into it when they were younger- after they got their own ship they stopped having time to be kids#and izzy got so anxious about the whole deal. its not that he pulled away from ed; hes still just as present as ever when ed wants him#but he never sits in the captains cabin in the evening. he never stops. the second theres a moment of pause hes onto the next task#and eds boots do need dealing with. so ed frames it as something he needs izzy to do for him. sit there while ed works out their next move#the cabins only small so izzy takes the floor while ed works at the desk- better to keep the mess away from the maps anyway#and ed chatters as he thinks about where theyre going; just mindless noise that izzy doesnt need to really listen to.#and the brush is moving in his hands and its calm and. his brain goes quiet for the first time in months#(ed notices this obviously)#(hes gonna start making izzy do this every couple months)#(this is the real reason he wears so much leather- gotta get a rota going!)
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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Deep deep fear that one day all my friends are gonna decide they just don't wanna talk to me anymore for whatever reason and unfortunately, I won't get the memo and will keep trying and that'll just make them hate me more :(
#Logically in my LOGICAL brain I know that's silly#I wish I was not like this cause it causes so much fucking stress#for no reason#for imaginary reasons that don't exist#I also shouldn't be this anxious cause my friends aren't like that#they are all very good to me#and they probably don't have reasons to do that but I could give them several#I have very good friends that I really don't deserve but I'm too afraid to push people away so :)#vent tw#urghh sorry it's gettin so bleak on main#just having a rough night after a nice weekend#I think the combo of nightmares + feeling good lately has destroyed me lmao#anyway Kid Leo Update tomorrow#yayyy#don't respond to this it's just me yeling at the void#if you see this and we're friends uhhh no I will not elaborate actually I am just gonna sleep it off
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From the Kurogiri’s meditating post- nice to see him and Yabureme getting along better!
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#kurogiri#nomu aizawa#Yabureme Aizawa AU#haha what no nothing's changed#Kurogiri just let Yabureme sleep on him because..... uhh......#because if Yabureme doesn't sleep he can't do his job!!#yeah that's it!#that's the answer!#I really want to write for my fics but uh all of that. ficbinding stuff going on#freaks me out a little#my work isn't nearly seen enough to be targeted but I typically get anxious over things that COULD but DON'T effect me#so for now I may just draw stuff and update fics when I feel better about the landscape#or I may change my mind tomorrow WHO KNOWS
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He has no idea he's like a daughter to me. My middle aged male daughter
ASIT is making me real sad and lately I have been spending every waking hour thinking about nothing but Elim Garak
I have also been reading this wonderful fic by Cucumbermoon and it is making me sadder but it's beautifully written and very good https://archiveofourown.org/works/30310065 I am very enthusiastic to read the sequel once I am finished (it is possibly correlated to the fact I am menstruating as of current but I cried multiple times while reading so. Really good!!!)
#ferry yaps#ds9#star trek#deep space nine#elim garak#I might be mildly going off the deep end here#I feel a bit silly for being so strongly attached to a character#I'm not really sure why#I've had negative experiences in previous fandoms that have made me try to approach the#m#with a lot more caution I suppose#and I think that's making me anxious about everything I do#even though everyone's been lovely to me so far!#I'm also in general a very sensitive person#which makes posting things on the internet that other people can see and interact with#very scary#eek#just had to get that off my chest I guess??#now you know!
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i think i need to write a fic where kevin is like the scummiest toxic ex possible (preferably to jean), just to get it out of my system. look, i love kevin and think he can do no wrong but i really just need to see him with that "ex, whom you've had a bad breakup with, calls you out of the blue because they're having problems and they couldn't think of anyone else to turn to" energy from tfc. idk it's just very compelling to me.
#kevin who shows up at jean's door wet pathetic and anxious and ready to tell him everything he's always wanted to hear from kevin#sorry i know kevin is a good egg. i know.#but letting the characters i like be really kind of shitty in my fics is like one of the highest compliments i can pay to a character#and i feel like i need kevin to be an absolute soggy paper towel in this one#just so pathetic that jean can't help but be like...'ok i guess i will suck your dick about it just this once'#aftg
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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