#i just cant get myself to post normally
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sometimes im sad and then i look at the muppets and i am no longer sad
feat. my sillys : -3
#life hack!! muppets make your brain like itself again!#also the fraggles i feel like i should say#especially the fraggle's for me but im using muppets as a catch-all term for the jim Henson puppets#kinda#cuz i mostly mean the muppets and fraggle rock#but im using cuz i believe that everyone can get at least a little happiness from like any jim Henson puppet#like even the dark crystal puppets ofc#and like in this tangent im using fraggle's as a shorter way to say the entire shows name!#but ofc i mean the gorgs n doozers n like sprocket too i guess yk?#ok im ending that tangent to tangent somewhere else#idk i can only tangent like this in the tags#but like i cant post it if im not doing this in the tags like im whispering out into the void instead of yelling it#i just cant get myself to post normally#im just weird#im a weirdo#/ref#ok yeah if u read this ur cool#u get a cookie or smth 🍪#also boober n lew Zealand are here#because i love them#and idk if that says anything abt me or not#wait the cookie bit was meant to be the end of this#so like I actually rlly hope people read this#because like i feel like me just saying mulpets#and then showing a photo of boober FRAGGLE is like weard?#idk tho omg this is why i can never properly post on here#because i overthink everything#its too late now im posting this as is
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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☁️👼My cringefail unpopular fave🕶🏍
I haven't thought abt him in a while but I had this sudden burst of motivation to draw him!
#paper mario the origami king fanart#paper mario fanart#paper mario the origami king#paper mario#paper mario tok#the shifty sticker tape#im better at being normal abt it now but i was OBSESSED w this guy back when this game first came out#oh hes got a motorcycle too i just CANT DRAW VEHICLES all that great so ill have to hype myself up to redesign it#bandit mario#technically hes a bandit. theyre all like my own characters at this point w how much i care abt them.#i love a good pompadour#pretty much every top tier character imo has one#mario fanart#mario oc#he gets his own post 😊💜
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you are expendable, you are not expected to return
#i know i said id try to keep pressure stuff in containment but this is more of a vent piece than pressure fanart#and it felt wrong posting it on the side blog since thats really more of a fandom space than a soap space#kinda need the catharsis of strangers knowin whats goin on with me bc ive been kind of MIA on all platforms in terms of new 3D art..#i had something really insane happen that was a major permanent change to my life in september/august (cant talk about it) and#i havent really been handling it well at all#pressures been like the sole thing thats kind of keeping me above water mentally#but simultaneously like the level of obsession im at is insanely unhealthy it is ruining everything else in my life. but i just dont know#what else i can really do to stay sane. log on roblox think about my gay fishes and then go to bed#normally i try to ride out little mental health bumps like these and get back to work but its been like 3 months now and#im still struggling to be able to focus on client work. i can take it easy on myself just fine but i really dont want to let clients down#anyways thats whats been going on with me if anyones noticed the absence#soap talks#my art#roblox pressure#hopefully that doesnt put it in the main tags i try to tag fandoms so ppl are able to block them#raine
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i wish i could get a break from my own emotions, i either feel nothing or everything constantly and so intensely, its so exhausting, i just want a pause, a break, a breather, a vacation from myself, something that lets me live and not be aggravating or aggravated for once
#ganondoodles talks#personal#at this point i almosst want to have a breakdown#if i knew id feel normal afterwards ..#its been over a month of this now- constantly on the edge of a breakdown- the worst i can be#aside from those awful short circuits where i explode for 10 minutes and then feel fine again and rly weird about what i just did#i want a break from this#wasting time doing nothing but feeling things that dont matter and make everything worse#just stop ...............................#im losing even the few connections i made online and cant get myself to start new ones#despite there being people that seem to try and reach out#i am horrible at reaching back#and keeping it alive#if i could at least get rid of the guilt#the guilt from every decision i make or not make#everything always ends into guilt#and it just keeps piling up#even posting these things! guilty feeeling bad over and over
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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i f. i fucking forgot a pencil so i cant scribble out this Thought i had while on a lil road trip today - basically i was thinkin about Wally, as ya do, and i asked myself why does Wally eat with his eyes? its such a Fascinating yet somewhat Out Of Place choice for him. how did Clown come up with that? its so unique. it stands tf out.
and then i remembered Frank & Poppy's convo for their 'bug' audio, and how he says "you eat with your eyes first" and like... thats a real phrase. ive heard it in my life. & it set off lil alarm bells in my head the first time i listened to the clip, i just hadnt connected the dots yet. so its feasible that thats why Wally eats the way that he does - and an in-universe explanation could be that Wally heard the phrase before he could learn how to eat 'properly', and took it literally
essentially:
Frank: you eat with your eyes!
Wally: *rdj meme format* you eat with your eyes
#also dont have wifi so i cant type out my musings on my laptop#and typing on my phone kinda Hurts#so! this is a note to myself to Talk About This and Scribble a silly thing Later!#in a couple of days!#no wonder he only eats when no one is looking....#they all eat Normally but hes over there like 'oh shit oh fuck i dont know how to do that. uhhhhhhh'#i imagine he heard it and immediately internalized it forever#core memory. this action will have consequences. new skill unlocked. this cannot be undone.#wally just casually fucking with the laws of reality.... good for him! good for him#i mean why not!#its not like he knows what reality is! or the laws of physics! he doesnt have to obey what he doesnt understand!#someone says You Can Do This and hey. look at that. he can!#and wow this beef jerky im eating tastes like chemicals.#absolutely unprompted#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#I HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS. FOR HOURS. DYING TO WRITE IT OUT AND POST#BUT I WAS IN THE CAR AND I GET CARSICK SO EASILY#so i couldnt....#but now! now i am in this motel! relaxing! not moving! AND I CAN POST!!!!#anyhow i really need to get on posting more Thoughts bc i have so many#on wally's behavior on other characters & dialogue choices and just!!! Agh!!!!#speculation galore!!!!#ill have to wait though! sadly!#damn. i cant draw i cant Post. whats a bitch supposed to do#good thing i brought my crochet project smh#and a book <3
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ouuhghghghghhhhhhh the
#i was going to try to say something but this is better than whatever i was trying to articulate#but hi!!#im still here still working on art#my brain just stopped working and i cant get myself to post anymore#i'll be back to normal soon#probably
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#??????????????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#i dont know what to doooooooooooo i dont know what to do w my life.....#i dont wanna go to college im way too stupid for that and also its insane like#im scared i dont like anything enough to make it worth it. not even biology#thats like 5 years idk and i fucking hate school.... i think id kill myself if i had to go back to somerhing remotely similar#idk thats scary.....#my plan b was getting a job and i rlly tried but im a pussy . i only started to go out and do stuff like last year. and im an adult !!#i feel like i fucked something up at some point in my life cuz like this is insane#im stuck in limbo. like theres something wrong and its not the autism#bites a cinderblock bites a cinderblock#man im so fucking scared everyday i feel like im going insane . i cant even imagine me doing anything#theres something wrong w me cuz thats like not normal . i dont wanna die in my bed but everything else scares me#fucked up if true#uh#vent#its funny af tagging my posts w vent but i tag them so u can block them or whatever#FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK IF ONLY REDBULL ACTUALLY DID SHIT TO ME . THEN ID BE FIXED#FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKK I JUST WANT AN ENERGY DRINK THAT WORKS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASE GOD#PLEASE PEKASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
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AHAHAAHAHJAAJSBSMDJDNDKMXBWHXI???1??!?!!??
#WHEEZING#I CANT YALL IM DYING#YOU CAN DO MANY THINGS WITH THE BUTT-BOUNCE#omfg#im losing it. i am Losing it#pacman#pacman world 2#this would prime streaming material im talking to myself a lot as play but to do that id have to sit in chair and then id have to shower#and i dont wana ;u;#anyway i remembered that the flinstones bowling game exists yesterday#and found it today - it was on ps1 not on computer as i feared#so i found it!!!!#and remembered WAY more of the dialogue/sound queues than i thought i did-which was already a lot#i got all da pins (ง•̀_•́)ง#other than 2 in the final bonus stage cos oH MY GOD????#THE *CAMERA* THE *BULL* THE FUCKING *SNAKES* NOT WORKING TO GET YOU ONTO LEDGES LIKE THEYRE SPOSED TO HALF THE TIME#when i unlocked the first bonus and saw the map/title card screen i was like 'ohno...oh i remember being horrible at this..'#but then it wasnt that bad#cos i was thinking of yOU final bonus rounnd FUCK YOU#EUARGH#its fine im fine im chill im normal#also this is my post so i can ramble in the tags all i want ha#ive always been So so enamoured with old games#that load in chunks and have horrible misaligned textures that are a little blurry cos theyre scaled up#the bowling game is a Prime example of that cos the map is constantly moving forward lMAO so its like .. half a screen of map#and then just VOID that will eventually load in another chunk of half a map as it gets closer but always the Void#stupidass little seagulls too i love them#gop think drag queens are radicalizing us? no...no the capitalistic asshole boss in the flinstones bedrock bowling circa 2000 radicalized m#anyway pacman is FAR too fucking agile in this game its offputting#and the SLIDEY back and forth he does everywhere ooooh my lorde
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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
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the sheer amount of headcanons i produced while i was drawing this is insane
#a few of them i might try drawing cause theyre scenarios instead of concepts#i would actually like try to list a few down in a separate post or scatter them around in other posts#but because of the clothing i put them in here#ill focus on that#yes in the tags#nagito's body temp is very naturally cold and also gets cold very easily#he needs to have like two layers on him at all times or else he'll actually freeze#maybe even 3 layers if its Just That Cold#hajime on the other hand is the complete opposite and is both naturally warm and heats up easily#i feel like he sorta doesn't really like wearing long sleeves that much cause it feels kinda stuffy?#that or he just cant find a decent article of clothing that is both comfortable and to his tastes#chiaki is relatively normal in body temperature but she also overheats easily much like hajime#except because i hc her with autism (as an autistic myself) i feel like chiaki wears long sleeved clothing regardless of weather#because she enjoys the weight of her hoodie even if its hot as fuck out and will probably stop functioning right if she doesn't have one#anyway thats my take on my favorite trial trio#komahinanami my absolute loves#question to you guys who's read the tags: how do you interpret this?#sdr2#danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2: goodbye despair#danganronpa nagito#danganronpa hajime#danganronpa chiaki#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#chiaki nanami#komahinanami#aiden.png
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if i wrote a comprehensive analysis of reading into otto's character from a queer lens (with extensive text citations) would you read it bc ive thought way too much about this for the sake of my silly anime fanfiction okay. i know too much about this topic now and i gotta let the energy out <33
#my thesis is that otto is so into subaru and all the animators keep shipping ottosuba (says the rz ottosuba shipper blog) and then#tappei goes “....huh did i just write otto being gay for subaru bc fans keep asking if ottos gay for subaru. huh. ........maaaybe”#the other part of my thesis is that otto is transphobic towards subaru-as-natsumi despite subaru being his crush for Reasons and that#otto cant be normal about relationships bc of *insert psychological analysis about his life*#theres just sooooo sooooo much subtext from ottos end that i just gotta ok i gotta. i gotta. when. when i got time. i prommys </3 if no one#else will i will <3#i started posting my more polished analysis stuff on rz reddit a little while ago but i think if i posted an otto queer subtext analysis id#speedrun myself into getting banned LJDFLJD oh well. very worth it.#listen today i got commplimented by my writing professor for having great writing and analysis and inside i was thinking#ah yes bc i write#anime meta in my free time LDSFJ but im flattered i just let the adhd take over!!!!#and once again if youre someone whos sent me an ask that i havent answered yet ill get to it eventually HAH <3#suffaru post
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when he sends you a song saying it "reminded him of you" so you obviously have to listen to it but then it's just the most depressing shit you've ever heard
#random post#i cant even. get myself to say the song.#i wanna get back to actual normal posts but this just flabbergasted me so much i jad to post about this specifically#but okay. thanks for thinking of me aiden#i did feel weirdly flattered#but im confused
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apologizing in advance for the person i will become when the next pjo show season comes out
#and the one after that etc#IM GOING TO BE SO NORMAL OK. ill be the normalest guy ever. nobodys gonna be more normal than me about this#iv. eive. been reading the pjo books (first time actually) and. I care them all so mcuh. the books ever#so so many things i cant wait to see in the show. ive been imagining how some stuff could be translated into the show as i read#im so excited ougfhhh i love these books. life changing reads and im not even really halfway done with them#i just started the third one today actually :mindblown:#i sat down just to read the first few pages before i go to sleep. and erm. i ended up sitting there reading the first ~60 pages for over#-an hour instead. Its so good man the only reason i stopped reading is bc if i dont go to sleep now ill pass out lmao#anygays i love pjo forever and ever and when the next seasons come out im going to be insufferable (/pos)#Also i feel like im always saying this but#im not actually apologizing like i said in the post. im not sorry for shit!! im having a good time#cam.txt#side note omfg i wish i didnt get so much of pjo spoiled its ruining my fun. everything couldve been so much more enjoyable#its my fault im always spoiling media for myself just bc of my insatiable need to know everything Smh. im my own worst party pooper.#a killjoy but not in the cool mcr “killjoys make some noise” way 😞😞 big ol spoilsport right here
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all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours, i'll show you mine
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#hunger games#the hunger games#thg#im still working on drawing people which adds to my nervousness x_x i wish i could be as confident as i am drawing animals#BUT YEAH IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM. I.#i literally have not gone a single day where i havent talked about them and im literally having to give myself limits on how much i can#read the books bc i literally went out to get a new library card JUST to do that#i literally cant believe when i was a kid i didnt like them as a couple .#i just couldnt appreciate the fake dating trope and i also took it very literally . and i was also like ten#ive had this ready to go but when i say ive had my mouse hovering over the post now button for a while i mean that so sincerely#PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES i try not to overwhelm my sister but#i am very aware i am way more into thg than she is and we watched the movies together#ive been sending her literally every single video abt thg thinking she will enjoy it as much as i will and im probably driving her up#a wall AHBKJAHBHDFJGBKJDHBGG but its fine she expects nothing less#i have to get used to posting non cat art non warrior cat art#you can tell im stalling . just a little bit
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