#i just can't win at anything man
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Random ass question but how do yall meet new people (that are your age with similar interests)?
#sou's thoughts#for context my introverted ass is finally becoming more social#like 2024 was big improvement and going out my comfort zone#but i wanna make more friends who are actually my age with similar interests#(people at my club are all university students or just regular adults#i was thinking gym but i just know my dad's gonna make me uncomfortable#if i can convince my mum and avoid an awkward conversation with him then i'd do it#but even so she tells him everything#it'd be a great idea tho imo#since i could meet other people that like sports and shit#BUT YEAH IDK#i'm not allowed to work either bc i'm in my last year of highschool#and i live far so a lot of commute time#i just can't win at anything man
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.
but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.
#qsmp neg#qsmp crit#discourse#<- for blacklists#im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight#and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense#its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses#so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter#but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy#and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one#and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over#and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear#and it starts getting messy#but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition#and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it#but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun'#then i think there are ways to build better win conditions#anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes#jk im too busy to apply#but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it
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still trying to decide which one was more unhinged:
joong "slaps a giant bow on his chest and declares that he is dunk's birthday present" archen
or
fort "brings 26 gifts for p'peat's 26th birthday to make up for all the ones i missed" thitipong
[full video with eng subs]
#fort thitipong#fortpeat#joong archen#joongdunk#although i kind of think fort edges out a win for sheer scale and simp levels#“i didn't get p'peat anything for his 25th birthday so i thought why not get him 2 presents”#“but then i thought why not get him a present for his 24th and 23rd and 22nd...”#and man just kept going#ya'll he prepared all 26 boxes hiMSELF BY HAND#meanwhile joong apparently stole?? the bow?? from some shop???? (ok he probs didn't steal it but he took it with permission ig xD)#where would one even GET a bow that size??#i haven't been able to find eng subs so i can't tell what was said at dunk's bd bash but it looked like fun#what is the lore behind joong giving himself to dunk tho? is there a story there? i feel like theres a story there!#hui talks thai bl
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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"i'm literally never beating the allegations" and then the allegations are that i like skrunkly looking guys
#i'm re-reading my messages in the shit show while watching arcane rn i was so dramatic and for what?#honestly on point for arcane tho#actual quotes from my messages:#'VIKTOR BB BOY OPEN AN EYE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS'#'VIKTOR BB BOY DROP ANOTHER LITERALLY ANYTHING I'M ALREADY YOURS'#'oh damn wait they really made the disabled man an allegory for jesus. oh and he's hot'#'but i mean he was hot to begin with but he's HOT hot'#'heimerdinger dear what the fuck are you on'#'LEAVE HER ALOOOOONNEEEEEE'#'the lesbians are NOT winning this kne boys (gn)'#'every time i try and say that i don't have a type a sopping wet pathetic man pops up and proves me wrong'#'literally cannot beat the allegations this man came on screen and i FOLDED'#<- this one was accompanied with photos of viktor lmao#'and what if i cried? hmm??? what then riot?? will you give me more episodes then??'#anyways can't wait to have more unhinged thoughts about arcane#this show was the first thing i talked to my therapist about outside of an ED just so we know how fucked i get about it#also i forgot jayce's mom was alive????? she's here?????#arcane
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g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
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SMALL LEAKS TALK.
Listen, I love Itto so much and I think he's one of the funniest characters in genshin but like.... Can we PLEASE get an INAZUMA EVENT that isn't taken as a joke ? I want some lore drop too and I know Inazuma doesnt have a lantern's rite or windblume festival equivalent ( Irodori was the closest thing ) but I do want more than just "haha Itto strikes again" kind of event. For a region that got many top tier characters, we really got no content, no relevant yearly events and no important lore drop.
#can ei also do like.... something?? im trying to think of something meaningful she has ever done in an event and my girl got NOTHING#also sara sayu and thoma fans are STARVING. they get NO CONTENT every year. especially my love sara...#idk man being an Inazuma fan is just pain. u can't win in anything 😭😭🫂#i love u i.tto. i truly do. but pls give me a break 😔 at least drop some damn yokai lore#tbt.#TW. LEAKS.#DELETE LATER.
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this man just broke my heart
#have you ever cried and sobbed throughout hour-long work zoom meeting#wanting to scream 'what's the fucking point in all this bullshit when Toni Kroos is retiring'#well I have now#toni kroos#how do I stop crying?! my eyes just keep pouring tears#how am I supposed to watch CL final knowing it's his last match?#I mean I won't see anything through the tears again#RM you better win it!#and I can't believe I'm saying it and I'm forever Furia Roja supporter but#Germany NT you better win the Euro#that man needs one more trophy to the collection#real madrid
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jinx makes me so emotional tbh i've kinned her for years now and the show just. FUCK
#fuck man#anyways *rewatches and cries*#when she breaks down as a kid and starts hitting herself and destroying even the stuff she loves? FUCK that was me. still me#autism wins#headcanons random. jinx is queer (bc she's me. im her)#vi is so dyke she can't be anything but a raging lesbian and i love her for that#closeted jayce tbh#fuck i still reemember when get jinxed came out. and how. just.#wAH
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not to beat a dead horse but jesus christ can you just leave people alone in public bathrooms i just want to fucking piss girl i'm so tired of feeling anxious and trying to avoid using public bathrooms because of how fucking weird cis people are about it. i tried to go into the bathroom at work today (i have worked here for years) and this woman who has worked here for two weeks and doesn't know me laughed and tried to like. steer me in the direction of the men's toilet instead and was like "wrong way!" are you fucking kidding me fuck off
#i have worked in this building for years. i know where the fucking bathroom is#like i'm sorry but cis people just don't want me in any bathroom at this point. i can't fucking win#i'm not kidding you i didn't really think that people in real life would actually make a fuss over who is in the bathroom#but at uni specifically i have had A LOT of people in the womens bathroom awkwardly tell me “uh i think you're in the wrong bathroom haha”#they're not even doing it in an antagonistic way it's like they genuinely think i've walked into the wrong one#and it makes ME feel like a creep or like i've done something wrong#like you guys are the ones that insist i should be in this bathroom !!!! but then i go in there and get told i'm in the wrong one !!!!#it's one of the few things that never fails to make me feel anxious and sad because it's a fucking bathroom it shouldn't be a big deal#why am i being made to feel like i've done something wrong when i'm just trying to exist here like everyone else#and you know what. it doesn't matter how i identify right. because i've actually done nothing to intentionally masculanise my appearance#like the entire time i've been out. i had short hair before i came out and i dressed this way before i came out#i have not done anything to try and Look Like A Man or Look Cis. i just have masc bone structure NATURALLY#so for all you know i could just be a woman with short hair ????? and you're telling me i don't belong in here because of that ??#like sure i'm NOT a woman with short hair but my point is you literally cannot tell the difference#so just leave people alone
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God I wish I could remember what Oda once said about mothers in One Piece... I can't remember if it was about Luffy's mother in particular or moms in general, but he essentially joked about how you'd have to be A Really Horrible Mother to allow your child to go off and become a pirate (dangerous business no loving mother would allow)
And just... My vague memory of that comment is living in my head right now, because truly, if Crocodile somehow is Luffy's mom, truly nothing would make him a worse mom than
Literally trying to murder his child and beating him to near death multiple times the first time they actually meet
Going so far to stop being a mom that he became a dad instead
#Moon posting#Honestly I can't help but to feel that if the theory is true I don't think Crocodile has any positive feelings about Luffy#Like I don't think he'd see Luffy as his child or. Anything#Like the vibe I get is that Luffy to him would be nothing more than something from a past life he wants nothing to do with#And a past version of himself he wants buried dead and forgotten#Like think about masculinity- both in general but also in the terms of OP's story#The way some cishet men react to the mere concept of Trans Croco and the way they're ready to dismiss him as a ''real man''#Like. Fragile Masculinity makes it so that if you aren't performing your manliness at 1000% at all times you aren't manly#That's why it's fragile. It's all or nothing. And so if Crocodile was FtM many would see him as just the F. They'd just ignore the ''tM''#Crocodile did not seem like he wanted to be associated with Iva-chan or any of the newkama AT ALL#If he is trans then he is fully stealth. He does not want to be outed. He does not want to have his manhood questioned.#His past could instantly be used to turn him into a laughing stock. He'd have to deal with transphobic attacks and misogyny#So if he just wants to live his life in peace then he could just see his past as a potential threat to his future#Anything about who he might've been could be used against him#That includes the husband he divorced. That includes the child he abandoned.#They aren't anything to Crocodile but something he wants nothing to do with.#And he's willing to go so far as to kill that child to tie up any loose ends#Which sounds horrible but he did attempt to kill millions with a massive bomb so like#Yeah. Sir Crocodile ain't winning Dad of the Year award anytime soon. He does not give a shit about his son.#Crocodile looked at Shinji Evangelion and figured he could have a worse father-son relationship. And he's winning that contest#Of course this reading is absolute bonkers and I doubt Oda could write a trans character with this kind of nuance#It just makes sense to me alright#And I have brainworms#And if I'm being realistic I only think there's a 30% chance the Crocodad theory is actually canon#Trans Croco in general get's a 70% because. You don't give this guy some Secret Beef with the Magic HRT Person like that#Again I just think it'd be fucking funny if he was Luffy's dad#It is 6 am I am not proof reading any of this shit
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Emmyyy that winged Ace art😭 it made me think of an icarus/apollo au, cause there’s a reimagining of the myth with icarus and apollo as lovers and icarus built wings to reach apollo, and i’m just imagining a sorta tragic au where luffy becomes nika, losing his humanity and becoming the sun, and Ace builds wings to fly up to him😭 anyways, i upset myself and wanted to share haha
Merry.... how could you do this to me, personally,,,, (lmao)
whatever you do don't imagine luffy watching what's happening, knowing that there's no way he can help as he is now, anymore... he sees ace falling into the water, right in the middle of a reflection of the sun--and ace says "it's okay, luffy" because, at least like this, he can "touch" luffy one last time as he breaks the surface
gosh i'm having to restrain every instinct in my body to let the AU stay tragic... you have to understand i have Trained myself to make things fluffy. this is me working against years of stubborn fix-it headcanons and happy, everyone-lives AUs 😂 but I'll do it for the symbolism... the poetry...
#but perhaps. we can imagine ace becoming a constellation in the sky can't we#he made the wings he showed his devotion#just bc he didn't want luffy to feel alone in the sky....... he knew luffy hated loneliness more than anything....#man i was just thinking about the 'luffy losing his humanity to godhood' thing the other day#but i was gonna make it about how--if it's his drive to be king/spread freedom/protect the ones he loves that pushes him into that role#it would take being reminded that there's a life after winning that's worth 'staying' for#the whole reason to do any of those things in the first place#and what better symmetry is there than having ace play that part#the one who was there before and the one who was there after... or something#anyway [handshake meme] very fun wreaking havoc together#acelu#op#headcanons#mythology au
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I am just so tired of everything but I can't do anything about it
#I can change this situation if I work hard and sincerely....but I just.... can't?#I just feel more physically tired day by day and it feels like I am being lazy and not trying hard enough#But I just. Can't.#Like one surface level I do understand it's just that I am not in a really good place mentally but sometimes it just feels so...bad#I don't know. I have been feeling a lot of unpleasant feelings towards people I though I loved and cared about and it is really troubling m#And then there's this situation of me just not being good enough. And it's so frustrating#I just. There's this person who I have been really envying for a while. I felt very guilty to admit it but I don't know man. Especially whe#I can't bring myself to completely envy and dislike them out of pettiness....it just feels so Wrong And Bad#But I don't know....why do I feel like I can't do anything about this when I can if I try#Why can't I just try to change this. Change myself#I am surrounded by people who support me always....yet I can't do better and I can't do ENOUGH#It just.I don't know. On one hand I wish I was better because I do have a bit of an ego and I want to relish that feeling of winning#On the other hand....I want people who I love to be proud of me.#But I can't because I am too lazy for this can I#It's like I've hit this slump and I can't get out of it#I've tried so much to get out of it....everyone around me tells me not to let myself get too deep into whining and negative emotions and#give up...but man is it so fucking hard not to. It makes me loathe myself that#I feel like running away from my responsibilities when I don't even carry them out. I haven't done shit to feel like I need a break#I don't know I just really am dissatisfied and disappointed with my current self now.#N rambles
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Man..
#sorry i'm still upset about bridal sharena. like YEAH she's an incredibly powerful incredibly useful unit#pair her up w winter edelgard and the girlies are cleaning up tt maps extremely efficiently#and YEAH. she absolutely has nice art and huge win for the power of friendship. w veronica.#but man. it's like. i can't even enjoy my time w her.#due to. extremely specific things about me that are entirely a me issue and i can acknowledge that and own that.#it would probably feel less bad if like. sharena got literally anything else. in between now and her bunny alt.#like YEAH... she is the other half of the alfonse duo. which is the cutest shit and i love them so much#idk i know it's a non-problem. it feels dumb to make it a problem.#but genuinely like. i don't like using her w the animations on i don't really like checking the home screen dialogue#it's INTERESTING. for lore/characterization purposes. it's funny and charming bc ofc it is!!!#it's sharena and veronica ofc they're gonna be funny and charming!!!!!!! they are SO endearing to me#but god. i really do just. have problems. and it feels soooooo upsetting that like#my very specific problems are preventing me from enjoying WHAT SHOULD BE. something i should really like!!!!!!!#like there are NO problems w her!!!!!!!!!!!! the problem is ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna thrup#why didn't intsys consult me about this. the unemployable shut-in who runs a semi-obscure tumblr blog. in america#unbelievable..#like would i sound insane if i said marriage is like a trigger for me. like completely seriously and unironically.#like. again. it is such a non-issue. and all of it is on me to choose what i engage w that IS how managing your triggers works.#please please pleeeease don't misconstrue anything i'm saying i'm being vulnerable. rn. and petty. super fucking petty.#and obviously i can just. not use her. or use her minimally. but that's really not my point here i'm not looking for solutions#i'm just. expressing how uniquely upsetting this situation is. w how intense my askr sib interest is#w the fact that sharena IS. absolutely one of my fave charas. i adore her completely and she means so much to me#this feels like. a saw trap. made just for me.#idk again there is no solution here and i fully acknowledge this is a skill issue and realistically not even a problem.#but like. can anybody hear me. it's so dark in here.
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New intro but please give them new outfits it's been like two arcs already
#nami i will get you out of that bikini top i swear!!!#also how long is this arc gonna be..... why does luffy have a new outfit fighting katakuri..... just for the fun of it#luffy saying merienda AAAAAAAHHHHHH#this is more of a tea and crumpets than a merienda (too soon) but i will allow it...#once again accidentally having my merienda while katakuri has his.... having a full sensory experience#he made a little house to have his merienda.... LUFFY ITS TIME#oh nvm the new outfit its just his shirt opened bc he ate too much okay#luffy asking what is going om with the pirate fights on this island bc he has to eat to win all the fights ajdhaksjald#luffy running away and returning to get skinny again aldbalsjaksks i thought he was gonna go get brulee and go back lmao#katakuri eating donuts ajdhajdhsjdj me asf honestly#now back to another episode of luffy suffering.... and he hasnt eaten anything....#now what was that. oh he didnt dodge. so he is angry and not collected so he can't use his observation haki#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 856#katakuri just nreaking his neck instead of touching the floor with his back#idk what else to say. next episode#episode 857#well fuck that oven guy i guess and i hope katakuri fucks off soon#sanji taking advantage and making pudding do all that.... bastard man#i kneeeeew someone from the fishman pirates was on the slug thing.... amazing strategy#omg siren song doe the slugs..... anticapitalist and everything... she said day off today... take a breather slugs#LUFFYS FACE WOTH BRULEE AKDHAKSJSK#10 minute break letsgo#omg not in peanut village akdhskdn#episode 858#not luffy wanting to take a break and ending up with big mom akdjsksjkak#at least he is not as weak as he was after g4 in dressrosa lmao#bege coming to get his wife... exactly#episode 589
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