#i hope you never find this

[stupid-lil-poetries]

do you ever see fan art of characters(Specifically ships) doing that saying where they will like, get kissed or smth, and then they get this look on their face, like they're drunk on the feeling of that crush, like they've surrended completely to that love, no need to worry about anything else, just safe, and happy, and in love?

And do you ever get jealous of that? I wish I could feel that SO BADLY.

Being aromatic hurts a lot sometimes.

[mad-who-ra]

The thing is I might not ever tell you any of these things. I have tried and failed. The letter obviously doesn’t have everything and that’s probably for the best. Because if you looked into my head, you will see how much I romanticise the smallest of things and how much you do really mean to me and I am scared to be that vulnerable. So I need to get this all out. I need to type it or write it down. It won’t leave me otherwise. I will spin in the same merry-go-round. The words just rhyme as I write this. Kind of how we could have. The could have’s and the would have’s are driving me insane. The crazier part is, I was the only one who saw that. I was the one who saw us even when you were seeing yourself with someone else and then with no one at all. It’s crazy how I could see the future. How I could see the alternate timeline where we are actually together. Where we are sitting near a window as it rains outside, drinking chai as you read your poetry to me. Where I tell you about my past and you tell me about yours knowing we are safe in each other’s arms and where we trust each other like family. It’s crazy how I feel a soul connection and you feel nothing at all. And I don’t know how you don’t see it. A blind person could tell how well we get along and how perfectly we fit together. How we could have had the most perfect, the most stable and the most fulfilling connection. How we could have had the quiet calm kind of love. And that is the thing that disappoints me the most. Because I see what it could have been, I see what we could have been. I see what I am loosing and what I am missing out on. I see it. I see the shades and tones of that reality that we will never live and it makes me sad because you don’t see it. I need to let it go. Maybe you are a mirage of him. The one I am waiting for and the one I keep talking to in my head. You are not him, and that’s okay. You are an illusion. I do this. I see a slightest trait of him in someone and try to find the whole of him in them. Maybe that’s what I did with you. I want the Pinterest kind of love and I thought it was you with whom I could have it. And I could have. I am not saying that you are it. Or that we are it. I am saying we could have been it. And really, I still mean it. But I need to let it go. I need to let you go. I will tell you that you are very close to what he will be. Really, you are the closest I have ever gotten. Maybe the only difference is, had it been him, he would have seen what I see, too.

[stupid-lil-poetries]

This is how it feels sometimes...

Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3

If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[simulation-is-breathing]

speed run this shit

let's go

0 to 100 flat

no need for any of that ratio

take my heart and take it fast

take her for a joy ride ever last--

the thing is, that's a bit too quick

a witted-fool be better left

for this stupid bit,

but here i am, clown suit on

waiting for my audience

oh wait, oh shit-- is this the wrong time?

day for matter, or even rhyme

scheme to meme and feel like i got nothing in my chest

she left me hours ago and never went to rest

back and forth and dice sides

wait fuck, my heart's still on that right?

please come back, please...

don't go far away

please come back, please

why did you go?

please come b a c k , p l e a s e

n...

... o...

my puppy, my friend,

i miss you till the end

fuck

i forgot how to make this stupid poem end

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[nadiasna7]

What if WWX lived to see his forties in his original body (without the core, of course)

[egophiliac]

What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333

I didn't get him (and I need to save my keys for Silver's birthday, sob) so I looked up his groovy, and I'm not over how incredibly dramatic and epic and cool it looks in direct contrast to the absolutely ridiculous context. just look at that dynamic action and his majestic sparkling tears and keep in mind that this is pretty much right after a bunch of characters have been dance battling for his soul.

and then even the actual moment of the groovy is just like

this is NOT a negative in the slightest, I love it all, this truly was an incredible update in so many ways

[zodiac-monkey]

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

Hyperfixation thought of the day—

It looks like Agatha is expecting Rio to put her fingers in her mouth, and opens her mouth on instinct the second her hand comes near her face, and then she seems genuinely startled when she wipes away her tears instead. Eyes dark and wide and solely fixated on Rio, mouth falling open, and then the second she realizes she’s swiping at her tears she puts on that unaffected air — shakes her hair back, huffs out a laugh, smooths out her lips — and tries to blow it off like it’s nothing

[stupid-lil-poetries]

I want to offer you my hand, go running through the woods.

I want to show you all the best trees, rocks, and waterfalls.

I want to build a den in those woods with you, carefully weaving the walls, heaping piles of leaves into a nest

I want to drape my tail across your lap, press my ears against your shoulder, blink my eyes up at you.

Will you take my hand and let me show you how I see the world?

[bunnieswithknives]

Wow Dale... There were miscalculations? And who made those miscalculations HMMMM???

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[shalom-iamcominghome]

If anyone is interested, please feel free to light a digital candle through Illuminate. I got a name a few years back, and it's a name I won't forget. May every name we have found be a blessing. May their names never be forgotten. May we never forget.

Never again means now.

[simulation-is-breathing]

because i torture myself

and i can't let go

i want to stay

but there's no where to go

i thought i found you

wonderful love

but like everything else

it'll too fall apart

make me a ghost

and make me afraid

of shadows that lurk in my past

i just didn't know

how long or fast

these fleeting feelings

would ever last

i hope you never notice me again

because it hurts too much

i hope i forget you

but that's not enough

[cerubean]

somewhere deep in the forest...