#i hope this resonates with someone else bc i cant be the only one

[wuiliburt]

guys i really miss the dsmp

i don't care if this is cringe or unrelatable but i kinda just need to get it out

like today i randomly got recommended a Technoblade compilation video and in it was some clips from the dsmp which sent me on a spiral to see what the members are up to now (there mostly inactive, get little views or have moved on with their lives) and watching those old clips made me really sad because i really miss being apart of a fanbase like that even though their was some weird stuff that kinda ruined it but still! also idgaf about what anyone says, it was an amazing time of life and i wish i could go back and re-experience it

[bathroomtrapped]

ohmygod i literally just made an account on letterboxd bc i watched saw (2004) and loved it so much and ur interview was so inspiring to me and ive been on an absolute craze trying to reblog like every single saw post on tumblr and i somehow found your account what the heck?!!?!?! ur art is AMAZING and i absolutely love ur takes on saw as a franchise and its significance to the queer community. i hope to be as knowledgeable of this franchise as you are one day despite me only being a baby saw fan!!

i had a quick question; i found on the saw heritage post blog that they thought leigh/james/someone else confirmed that saw (2004) did not actually occur the day before 9/11 despite the phone given to them being set to that date. however, when i asked them if they knew where this source was from (bc im so curious!!! i want to know everything!!!!!!) but neither they nor i could find the actual source for that so i was wondering if maybe u knew??? just curious :3

regardless ty for taking the time to read this and dedicating so much time to this fandom!! i love that horror fans like you exist in a fandom that i previously thought would be weird and slightly disturbed film bros (i had a lot of incorrect preconceived notions about saw that have been quickly resolved i promise)

thank you!! im glad that people feel the same way about it as i do but even if people thought i was some crazy transexual making everyone else woke and pronouns, i wouldnt care. the story, especially lawrences but adams as well, really resonates with me as a trans person for so so many reasons, more than i listed in the interview. to me, i cant read his character without filling in the gaps with trans subtext. it not only explains but also enriches the personal experiences of these characters as well as their dynamics with each other. theyre both characters that are defined primarily by how theyre seen by other people, themselves, and eventually each other. the narrative is soooo focused on perception and masks and who u truly are, i find it hard to separate any kind of queer theory from that.

as for the 9/11 question thats such a dumbass pet peeve of mine. its one of the things that makes me shout UMMMM ACTUALLY at the top of my lungs. my blood pressure sours to inhuman levels when someone confidently says the movie takes place not just in 2001 but the day before 9/11. not because of some interview or confirmation from any of the crew because my knowledge of old fandom history is incredibly spotty. old sites and interviews r a mystery to me for the most part BUT! the reason it is for sure not before 9/11 is because during the flashback of pauls trap (during lawrences monologue about jigsaw) kerry tapp and sing are all at the scene with other officers and i believe its kerry who holds up an evidence bag thats labeled 2004. the scene takes place 5 months before the events of saw 1 so its not possible that it takes place 3 years before that. it just seemed like a funny (but insanely bold considering how 9/11 was only 3 years before) joke and easter egg for people to catch on to, not actual lore meant to be taken seriously.

if u want to look for the interview, i would honestly just listen to the commentary tracks bc it mightve been said there. i know in the one with leigh, james, and cary they discuss plot holes fans complained about, questions fans had online, the fanfic they read (briefly LOL). ive only seen that one (and once) but theres at least 2 other commentary tracks with different people that i havent gotten around to for fear of like. completing saw? idk i cant bring myself to watch all of the commentary tracks but theres a chance they discuss it there! i can only speculate on the reason, all i know is that saw 2004 takes place in 2004 based on actual evidence from the media itself

if u have any other questions let me know. i still have the original draft of the interview which had more questions and longer responses bc i couldve gone on for days abt the lore and saw queer theory and ill never shut up about it

[emilykaldwen]

I dont understand why ppl want to get spoilers (that anon worrying abt aegon cheating) for fics or things in general, like, just read on and all your questions will get answered..

You told anon that abby is the only person he truly deeply loved, and yeah its obvious when reading it, but I could also imagine aegon falling in love along the way with other people he engaged with sexually, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love abby still. Maybe the love for the others wasn’t as deep or true, but just bc he loves abby doesn’t mean he cant fall in love (at least a little) with someone else too.

To be honest it doesn’t really seem like it when reading, since he really seems to only have his eyes on abby (romantically) all those years, but it wouldn’t be impossible to sneak in a second love interest for him.. would you do that in Maiden?

First off, thank you everyone who has sent nice/kind messages to me re: Maiden. I really do love my story and the only interest I'm able to tell is people who leave me comments. Thank you for making me feel less like i'm shouting into the void.

People like spoilers because they're hungry for answers. Why do you think there's so much speculation about season two of house of the dragon? And the anon who asked for the heartbreak spoiler, I didn't mind giving because I don't consider it a spoiler. I say right in the story summary that Abby and Aegon will have a Happy Ending, because in this fandom, there are a lot of stories that follow the 'rocks fall and everyone dies' plot of the book. This story isn't. I have heard of people who have been blindsided by poorly tagged stories where they thought they were getting a happy ship ending only to have the canon character like, cheat and then brutalize the OC pairing they were in. I have no problem whatsoever answering questions like this.

As the author, I'm asking you, the reader, to invest your time and emotions into the story I'm crafting. I want you to care. I want you to come along the ride with me! But this is also a fun hobby, and I know if I were a reader and then had the rug pulled out from under me, I wouldn't feel great. This is fic. This is free. This isn't a book I bought. So no, I don't mind reassuring people that Abby and Aegon are going to be okay, and that the current arc that anon was going into wasn't going to go into infidelity. If there was cheating in the story, I absolutely would tag it that way because that's an appropriate trigger. Whatever Aegon is doing during the particular arc, I do not consider it infidelity. Abby and Aegon are betrothed by outside force, but they aren't committed to each other. They're operating on that 'assumption feeling'. And there's a difference.

I think people are so capable of falling in love more than once in their lives. The idea of 'the one soulmate' is romantic as a trope, but it doesn't always resonate, you know?

I have to tease you here, Anon, because you just chided the other anon for asking for spoilers, and then asked me for a spoiler here! But I will say I already answered this question in the fic! In chapter 5:

And the love he had/thought he had for this person doesn't take away from his depth of feeling for Abby! No one person can be everything, and that's a thesis statement within the story. Aegon doesn't think he can be with Abby, so he was actively trying to move on from her!

I'm not sure if you're asking if I would consider this or if you're requesting this sort of plot. I do not take requests for plot in the story, and I hope this answered your question!

Thank you so much for your interest in Maiden! It really excites me to know that people enjoy the story, and I always love to hear about what you're enjoying and what questions you might have.

[golbrocklovely]

it's been a minute since i posted one of these so..

here’s some of colby’s tweets from 2021.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 2 - thank you all so much i love you don’t forget

Jan. 6 - just got yelled at on my walk by a 93 year old grandma it was dope how’s your day goin

on another note , so sad to see what’s been happening today at the capitol .. this is ridiculous. i’m worried.

(the issue with this time period is that colby was getting a lot of heat for shit he shouldn't have been. so… some of these tweets are gonna trigger me, and this is one of them lmao)

Jan. 8 - seems like the older i get the more independent i become

*@/mikes_dead: seems like the older u get the more u forget to call me back headass sorry bb 🖤

don’t crave that personal life human affection like i used to i’m cool with being by myself

always feel like i’m living in a dreamy reality until i get caffeine. blurry vision blurry mind

Jan. 9 - learned how to drive manual for the first then drifted that car today i’m surprised i didn’t kill anyone

you in January

Jan. 12 - fan: hi i love yOu��@/ColbyBrock

hiii i love you

fan: It’s my 2,000 day supporting Sam and colby. That’s fucking insnae man. Mental. I love you 2. Always and forever thank you for being such huge parts in my life @/SamGolbach @/ColbyBrock @/SamandColby

thank you for being a part of our life journey 🙏🏼🖤

Jan. 14 - time to conquer my anxiety

Jan. 16 - tonight , two years ago i was sleeping in a little jail cell wondering how long i’d be in there without Sam. life is fuckin crazy hahah, freedom is a gift

fan: i cant believe that most of the fandom slept on the floor when @/SamandColby 2 years when they got arrested #FreeSamAndColby

the best fans in the world

Jan. 18 - oh how time can heal and change everything

fan: no fr he’s been working so hard and you can really tell. proud of you @/ColbyBrock

thank you darlin

Jan. 19 - my fear won’t be something that i let control the way i live

Jan. 20 - fan: colby ur tweets r always so deep

twitters my personal little mind dump

(wish this was still the case… but i get why he is barely on there)

Jan. 22 - it’s underwater shipwreck dive today

feels good to feel proud of myself

Jan. 24 - fan: @/ColbyBrock can you teach me your ways of being okay with being single bc i’m tired of asshole guys fucking around with my feelings

one day you’ll learn that the only happiness you need comes from within, once you’ve learned to really enjoy youre own company you don’t need anyone else! practice makes perfect 🖤

Jan. 25 - why do i push away everyone who tries to get me to open up?

(what a juxtaposition lol)

Jan. 28 - crows are honestly just death metal chickens

Jan. 30 - don’t wanna jinx this like last time but XPLR gods have definitely been on our side recently again … Alaska has been an adventure of a lifetime

Feb. 1 - don’t let anyone tell you who YOU are and how to think

fan: Currently listening to We Love Our Friends @/SamGolbach @/ColbyBrock @/SamandColby

a bop

Feb. 2 - fan: Thinking about @/ColbyBrock hours

💭🖤

*fan: @/ColbyBrock u should get a tongue piercingggg

*ouchh

fan: As part of 25x25 @/ColbyBrock needs to come out with music

🤫😏

(he needs to come out with more music asap)

*fan: @/ColbyBrock u said no to the tongue piercing what about u getting a nipple piercing??

ouchhh

(what's with fans wanting him to get random parts of his body pierced lmao)

wake me up after valentine’s day

Feb. 4 - what’s one thing you wanna do before you die ?

Feb. 7 - my dream is to show you the beauty in life .. no matter how hard it can get

really opened up on my ongoing experience with anxiety in today’s video , i hope it resonates with some of you. we’re not alone

Feb. 8 - fan: bro @/ColbyBrock do you always get your tats in the early hours of the morning??

yes hahah

just gettin started on this sleeve. lots of work to do

Feb. 10 - fan: @/ColbyBrock I need some advice for anxiety lately my anxiety is playing up and I keeps having anxiety/panics attacks and idk how to calm my self the best thing I can do so far is watch ur vids but still sometimes I just can’t hold it in do u have any advice

box method breathing really helps.. soft music.. meditation. anything that can relax the mind. usually it stems from overthinking so if you can somehow distract yourself with an activity of some sort that could help too 🖤

i’m so emotional sometimes and for what

Feb. 13 - so who’s down to hangout tomorrow

fan: i could really use a hug from @/ColbyBrock rn /: sigh i miss him sm

🖤 sending virtual hugs

fan: Hey Colby … just checking in…. are you okay? Taking care of yourself? @/ColbyBrock

thank you for being so sweet i love you. yes i’m okay i have my good and bad days

Feb. 17 - sang for the first time on camera yesterday

Feb. 20 - this pill that i don’t wanna taste

fan: Are you okay??? Or one of your song lyrics

song lyrics .. probably should have explained that a lil more. it’s not a literal thing i promise hahah

Feb. 22 - damn i miss the big trap house parties we use to throw at our old place. 500 people plus in our living room.. David dobrik always comin in randomly with flame throwers hahah legendary times

Feb. 24 - i was so happy in my dream last night .. felt so real.

simply a wonderful sight to see

Feb. 28 - Dear @/ColbyBrock I would REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DYED YOUR HAIR BACK TO BROWN I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT

my purple is pretty much out ! so it’ll be all the way brown soon

fan: Apparently the guys are in Las Vegas and Las Vegas is probably like oh no not these guys again. @/ColbyBrock don't go for a midnight stroll and almost get mugged or kick a cactus this time

palm springs was when the mugging and cactus assault happened hahah but we will do our best to stay outta trouble .. maybe

March 2 - i feel like i don’t fit in with that many people in LA

@/jccaylen: let’s move to Texas.

looking for houses now

March 6 - take a chance with me

head down, headphones in

March 8 - happy #InternationalWomensDay , women are fuckin powerful, thank you for all that you do

(another triggering tweet sksks)

March 10 - maybe i just knew i had to wait for you

March 15 - fan: I just know deep in my soul @ColbyBrock had an angsty sad boi tumblr back in the day and I just wanna scroll thru it. Sir pls hand me the link thx :)

i wish i had tumblr. but wasn’t in to social media until i was like 18. only had a facebook until 2014

(….interesting lol)

fan: @/ColbyBrock do u have any advice on keeping productive on something even though it isn’t ur favourite thing to do but u need to get it done

set goals and make sure you do things in little pieces. if you don’t like something you’re doing just make sure you’re getting it done in the way YOU want to. take it day by day instead of procrastinating and doing it last minute

fan: y r u awake @/colbybrock

same reason you are

March 16 - things change, people change. but in the end i’ll always wish the best for my friends

March 17 - i can’t help but feel this way

March 18 - fan: How can you get through a break up

time. i know that’s a cliche answer. but seriously. distract your mind for a while and you’ll get over it i promise

fan: @/ColbyBrock how often do you not sleep at night because your mind is too loud?

i sleep terribly most nights. i have this weird insomnia that forces me to be up at 3am daily

are any of you hard on yourself for no reason? cause holy shit that’s me daily

fan: Better at picking others up than picking myself up

feel this so hard

fan: please call me sweetheart its my dream deadass

sweeeeeetheart 🖤

fan: @/ColbyBrock what’s your best advice to give to a teen who’s gonna turn 17 next week ? like any tips or tricks you wanna hand down bc i need help

so assuming you’re in highschool, just know that you might think your social circle means the world to you right now .. but everything can change (if you let it) after you graduate. life changes so much after graduation! focus on making good relationships and having fun :)

fan: @/ColbyBrock what’s the first thing you’ll do after all this covid stuff is over?

throw a real trap house party

March 25 - i am becoming a hummingbird father.

@/amberscholl: idk why but this is a VERY hot tweet

can’t wait to show you what i’ve been doing 😈

March 27 - just don’t have the time anymore

March 29 - friday by rebecca black is my anthem

March 30 - should i curl my hair for a youtube video

[magnoliamyrrh]

I really hate how trauma effected my art. Ive seen many trauma survivors make beautiful art about survival and growth and other really beautiful stuff while i can only make really gross stuff about destruction and hopelessness. I dont like it. Every time i tried to make lighthearted things it didnt feel sincere.

I saw a movie about a disabled person who had an accepting environment and parents who loved him and everyone who heart him learnt from it and became kind to him and he grew up happily. It was around the time my story was really shapping up and i was even starting to be proud of it. But after watching that movie i felt so gross. That story actually gave hope to people but the only thing people will get from my stories is a small echo of my trauma. My brain is too clpuded by pain in order to create anything else. It makes me feel like a bad person. Did you ever go trough something like this?

heyo dear <3 yea i really do get what youre saying. my best friend some weeks ago was saying i need to put my art and writing and ideas out there and it send me down this same spiral, and its still something im struggling w tbh.. it makes me feel like maybe ive got nothing to add but my hopelessness, dispair, endless entrapment and contemplation of pain and sadness and doomfullness and trauma to this world... at least, most of it seems to be that, or it seems at best a fixation on trying to find some sort of grim, melancholic beauty in the rot. and whats the point, when theres already so much of that in the world..? and its made me feel like a bad person too, bc it just further reminds me im not that "ideal" trauma survivor

but. ive been trying to look at it other ways too. i think theres value in your writing and art if it comes from sincerity, and i think theres value in art which is depressing and doomful if its real and from the soul about it

i think it can provide a comfort for people who are much like you and i, at least, i always found that sort of art did.... if anything, while everyonce in awhile i appreciate a movie like the one youre speaking of, theres also many (most times) when even if i find it sweet, i find it.... harder to connect to, harder to resonate with, harder to care about. its nice and all, but i guess i tend to gravitate twoards art which makes my pain feel understood, seen, like someone else out there gets it, feels it too... and i think there really is just as much importance in that sort of art being out there as there is in that more positive side of it i guess ....... kinda like how i find comfort in even you sending this message, you know? you didnt write me some sort of hopeful thing, and yet, its both nice and sad just knowing someone has had these same thoughts and feelings running through their head and struggles w this too

... and.. maybe it doesnt seem like it to you at times, but i think in the first place writing a story, working on it putting it out there is in and of itself able to give ppl hope. bc its making something out of your pain and trauma, using it in some way, channeling it; hell, managing to get stuff out there despite feeling bad and traumatized - thats something

... and really on top of that, havent so many of the great pieces of literature of this world Been that anyway? doom, melancholy, lements, depression feeling haunted trauma endless problems endless tragedy with seeminly no resolution a general feeling of doom and dispair, clearly heavily influenced by these authors own shit.... and yet, they are read by so many people so many times, for both their artistic quality sure, but their relatabilty and realness too, their rawness, so that we can sit with something which understands. if you feel like your story and your writing is all doom and dispair you wouldn't be the first one for sure; plenty of great writers kept that going for decades

...

you cant and shouldnt force art, it should come from the soul. if right now this is how it is bc youre not feelijg or doing better, then it is how it is and it still has value.... and maybe one day, and i really hope so and wish so for you, you'll be better, yea? you will feel more healed, more hopeful, more at peace, in less pain, less tired deep down. and maybe then, your art will change and reflect what you will be feeling inside moreso, you will be making more of that art which feels more hopeful abt things... but until then, i rly think its still worthwhile and meaningful to keep working on what you've been working on <3 its what ive been trying to tell myself too

[softness-and-shattering]

This is also resonating w me re timekeeping. My brain doesnt process time normally. I dont have a regular automatic sense of how fast time is passing. When I accepted this, and stopped scheduling things at times I hoped or thought I should be able to make, life got a lot easier. At one point I said to my partner in front of someone we were late for a meeting with "oh, we should have said we're bad with time". And the woman said "well..." implying "you could just be on time" and idk the words just flew out my mouth "if it was easy we would be there already".

And thats just it. Whatever the activity or skill or process is, people look from the outside and say "but its easy, you can do that. Just dont be late. Just take the accessible-only-in-name public transit. Oh you have capacity for two hours of effort a day, well of course thats for capitalism and not feeding yourself or showering, bc they dont even consider that to be work at all.

A lot of the time we just have to accept that we cant 'just' do whatever because its not in our capacity, and once its just a fact instead of a goal and expectation we are always falling short of and failing at, then we can start working around it insteas of fighting it. Get the support, get the disability aids, the shower chair the wheelchair the pre-cut fruit. And even when we can struggle to appear 'normal', why should we have to? Why should we have to work harder than anyone be stressed have that stress and work further impact our health? Thats unjust. Its not a bad thing at all to recognise our limits and adjust to them. Not everyone CAN do anything they put their mind to and thats ok. Human will is incredibly powerful, but not more powerful than disability, certainly not in the long run. We shouldnt have to prove exceptionalism to be allowed to be. We should just have support and happiness comfortably within our limits just like everyone else, because that is what everyone deserves.

"Disabled people can do everything abled people can!1!1!!" I'm gonna have to ask you what you think disabled means

[violentviolette]

That post about narcissistic abuse/sociopathy/blame helped a lot. I never asked “why” when it came to my parents because it didn’t matter to me. Idk, I knew “why” when it came to them. But when it came to shitty relationships, that why plagued me. I used to ruminate for *years* on why I wasn’t good enough and tbfh I’m still barely moving on from the most recent batshit relationship, especially bc my own personality disorders flip the script on me a lot. I never prescribed it to narc/sociopathy or whatever, but the post over all helped.

Idk, I’m still struggling with the weird sort of entitlement it left me with (I like being in control, I like power, and I like access and unconditional loyalty) and unlearning this is hard, especially because I’m still healing from the anger and hurt. Im not trying to trauma dump or anything, im just trying to say thank you for the post (and for being open about how hard recovery can be when you’re the “undesirable” kind of abuse victim/learning to unlearn abusive patterns).

ur welcome anon, im glad it resonated with u and u got something positive out of it. and honestly thats a really understandable and common place to be. struggling with those things makes sense when u consider what uve been through. the need for power and control is a defensive one, when ur so used to bad things happening, u start looking for any way to prevent that. u think if u can just know everything, u can come up with the right strategy to never get hurt again. interpersonal relationships feel like a war u have to navigate to win. if u can just gather enough information, have control over enough situations, be able to control enough people involved, keep track of enough moving parts, then u can make the 'right" decisions and everything will work out and u'll win and be happy instead of losing being miserable

it makes sense, but unfortunately it just doesnt work that way. and it doesnt work because its core premise is a lie. none of those things will stop bad things from happening, and in trying to control everything around u so tightly, u just end up inadvertantly driving urself directly towards the outcome ur trying hardest to avoid. cause ppl just dont work like that. humans are inherently emotional and selfish and unpredictable and self focused and bad at stuff. and so more control is pointless. it's only after really and truly accepting that all of that is out of ur control and thats a good thing, does it get easier but there's also a very large portion of that that relies on other peoples behavior as well. we cant control others and we cant stop them from doing the wrong thing and its hard to keep urself healthy when someone else is actively impeding that process. because healthy relationships require trust and freedom and respect and stability from *both* sides and parties. because all of those things leave us incredibly vulnerable and open, which is the whole point, and it's extreamly difficult when ur trying ur best to allow urself to be vulnerable over and over again when u keep getting hurt. so i do hope ur able to find some good people who will treat u properly and create a safe environment for u to allow urself the freedom to be vulnerable and have it be properly recieved and returned

ur doing the right thing by working thru this stuff and recognizing these behaviors and patterns and thoughts and trying ur best to be healthy and deal with ur emotions and ur trauma and u deserve to have people in ur life who recognize and respect that and try their best to be healthy and do the right thing in return

[maeshmallo]

so i folded and binge-read lore olympus

im just gonna talk about it cause im bored and there’s stuff i wanna discuss about it. i’ve always been in love with the hades x persephone story (the first version i read was consensual so that’s the one that resonates with me the most) 

im gonna start with the good stuff

- i love the animation! the colours are so fun and cool and i like how captivating they are, and the pink of persephone and blue of hades works well together

- i like that the time frame of olympus and the underworld is expedited compared to the modern world, that’s really neat

- the comedic timing is spot on, both the dialogue and animation can be so great and make me laugh to tears

- hades and persphone’s moments can be so tender and sweet, one scene between them that just sticks with me is when they are cooking together, or the first time she asked the names of his dogs and he lit up. they are so soft for each other and it makes my heart so so warm ;-; and i like their banter too

- i like hermes, and artemis, and eros, and basically everybody who’s become a friend in this series, they’re great (ares is an honourable mention bc he’s funny with amazing character design imo)

- the fact that therapy is a thing here??? pls they all need it omg 

- the exploration of cycles in different extremes (the cycle of fertility goddesses being used for power, having shitty people around you in turn making you shitty to those you love, the fear of becoming one’s parents, etc)

- i like that none of the characters are “good” or “bad”. as it goes with deities, they are as morally grey as you can get especially in regard to mortals. (with the exception of apollo. i hate his character.)

- i appreciate the discussion of boundaries between hades and persephone, letting fluffy moments just be fluffy and sweet

- their relationship in general has very sweet moments and warms my heart a lot of times

- honourable mentions: baby hades being very worrisome for such a small boy, hades with his stars, hades with his crowns and earrings, hades with his little glasses, hades’ scars. hades. 💕 

all in all, it’s a very fun read with many intriguing and cool themes that I love and i’m excited to see how it is concluded

now for critiques 

- why did persephone have to be 19/20??? not 119, not 190, that young compared to everyone around her??? i mean even though on our (mortal) terms, she is legal and perfectly capable of making her own decisions. but the issue within most age gap relationships is not primarily the difference in years itself, but the difference in mindset and stages of life (a relationship between a 14 and 18 year old is vastly different from a relationship between a 30 and 34 year old). there doesnt seem to be a point to make her so young and then pair her with a being literally older than death itself, ya know? but that’s just me 

- not necesarrily the characters, but more so the reactions to them. why is it that hades, modeled to be a capitalist business owner that keeps the dead souls as slaves and does things that are so cruel (i.e tear out some kids eye for a photograph or threaten an employee for asking for ID) is seen as a precious baby that can do no wrong?? now please understand that I love his character, I adore him!!! but he is no baby, and there is nothing stranger than seeing a morally grey character or straight up villain (who doesnt love a good villain every now and again amirite) be coddled and have excuses made for them while their female counterparts are villainized for the same or lesser offenses, which brings me to my next point

- minthe. she is no saint, and i dont like her all that much. she was petty and catty, and an awful and cruel partner towards hades. however, she is complex in that we see her internal monologue and can see that most of these things come from a place of insecurity and deep rooted issues with herself. not to excuse her behaviour because it is all very immature and lame, but i hope to see an arc from her that allows growth and letting go of being forced to see herself as nothing more than a trashy nymph. and learning to apologize properly

- also why was it funny when hecate smacked him across the face like three times but a crime when minthe hit him upside the head. my point is both were bad, but one gets forgotten and forgiven. 

- man why is persephone drawn so mf tiny? i mean it’s cool to be short, but in some frames she’s legit at his waist which is a bit odd since you’re kind of already toeing the line of what is appropriate and what isn’t in their relationship (employer/employee relationship, extreme age difference, somewhat childish nature). i cant lie this feels nitpicky but it’s just so jarring everytime i see it combined with everything else, ya know??

- i dont know if the apollo incident was necessary. i feel the story would have been the same if had just been a pushy jerk trying to marry persephone because she is a fertility goddess for his own advantage. it was just an awful thing that provides very little substance to the plot and made me struggle to read it.

- im still a bit lost on where we are with what’s going on with persephone. when she goes into her “death bringer” state, why does it seem like she’s been possessed instead of it being embraced as who she is? i’d like to see her gain more control of these powers and maybe trained properly by someone so that the next time they are used, they are used with intent and purpose.

- lastly, why is persephone’s growth being stifled? we see her make mistakes, and fall short in certain areas, but i would also like to see her excercise agency and fix things for herself. we only got to see a glimpse of that, but i want more so that she can figure out for herself what and who exactly she is and what she wants without having to think about others and what they need from her. if she is to become the queen of the underworld we want her to be, she doesn’t need to be coddled all the time.

if there is anything more to be added to the conversation, pls feel free too!! i like conversation and this is an interesting topic!

[musicalisht]

Partial fan casting little shop of horrors movie remake bc I disagree with the rumored cast and also it's 3 am and I cant sleep:

Also pls dont yell at me I'm tired and just spitballing here.

Seymour

Currently the rumor is he will be played by Taron Egerton, and while he has played the "lovable dork" before (Eddie the Eagle), I think there are better choices? Like no doubt he could do it but also if we're going for any white boy (as that is Seymour character), Hollywood has so many options. Like, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Daniel Radcliffe exude nerdy energy and can kinda sing (based off my memory bc I refuse to look this up) so honestly that works for me. Jonathan Groff has played Seymour, and seeing as he has some mainstream appeal I'd see Hollywood going for him for the movie.

Audrey

I love Audrey wi th my heart and soul and I no one can beat Ellen Greene in this role. That being said, I reject Scarlett in this role. I saw something about Stephanie Beatriz being down to play Audrey and considering she has that kind of squeaky voice and has played comedy roles (which is important bc I consider LSOH to be a horror comedy and while writing this out and looking at the rumored casting decisions I fear the remake will be a darker horror movie), I'd love that for her. Another perfectly reasonable option is MJ Rodriguez, who played audrey in Pasadena. I stole this from a youtube comment but something really strong resonates with the fact that a trans woman of color gains self confidence and learns to love the woman she is in Suddenly Seymour. Also alto rights and as far as I could tell she nailed the role, so. Yeah.

If we're going for the more traditional casting - and by traditional I mean blonde, someone more mainstream Hollywood - I'd say Anna Kendrick or Brittany Snow could easily pull it off. They've both proven they can do comedy and can sing and, at least Brittany has played characters that have the same energy as Audrey. (Cant think of any roles Anna Kendrick has played that are similar but she could do it I'm sure).

Dentist

It's getting late and I forgot his name but, the dentist. I actually do like Chris Evans for this role for one reason only and it's because Lucas Lee also could become a leather jacket wearing masochist dentist if he had the brain cells for it. In fact, I'm so okay with this decision that I didnt put that much thought into who else could play the part. I saw another fancast saying Darren Criss should play Seymour and while he could, I think he'd also make a great whatever-the-hell-the-dentist's-name-is. No reasoning other than he'd have fun with it.

Would do the rest of the characters but I started writing this around 3 am and it is now 4 am so I should stop. Also those were the only ones I wanted to talk about anyway lol. A few things

If you couldnt tell I actually don't mind any of the rumored cast except for ScarJo I just wanted to throw out names

I generally have little hope for stage to movie adaptations and remakes separately so I have even less hope for a remake of a movie adaptation.

I would fancast more POC actors for Seymour (bc i would like more poc leads and also it kinda works storywise) except I dont know that many off the top of my head that have played dorky characters? Like anyone I think of looks too cool or not the right age? Thank you George Salazar though, we could just recast George Salazar.

Another fancast is the original puppet from the 80s bc that looked so good and while I trust the vfx team and am excited to see what they'll do and how they'll interpret it, will it be as good? We'll see.

The 1986 version will always be my favorite..... I will probably watch the remake anyway whenever it comes out.

[silverjirachi]

Do u rly 100% believe ur not a woman? If u dont mind sharing how did u figure that out? How can u separate urself from ur body like that? We r our bodies! I cant wrap my mind around it even tho I have dysphoria. Also women are the most oppressed class of people 2 this day so it seems really really stupid 2 let our oppressors claim womanhood. We r all born from vaginas. How do people ignore history & reality? Is pretending ur not who u r a coping mechanism? Wouldnt accepting ur body b healthier?

Hi there!  I considered not answering this because I don’t want to fan flames or stir discourse because I don’t want other people to get wrapped up into something that is 100% about me. I try really hard to cultivate a positive, lighthearted environment in all of my online presences.  But honestly your ask isn’t worded hatefully, and I think what I have to say is important and might help someone else, so I’m going to answer it. But I probably won’t answer anything else and there better not be any funny business in these notes.  If there is, I would like to politely ask people not to engage with it.  Please leave me, and everyone else in these notes, alone.  I am writing this for me, to answer your question about me, and I’m writing this in case there’s a baby enby out there who is exactly like me who who needs to read this today.

With that disclaimer aside...,

Yes, I really do 100% believe I am not a woman.  I unfortunately cannot easily explain how without falling into the traps of words like masculinity and femininity.  But it’s the same as any other identity.  How do you know you are a woman?  Is it something that you identify with, feel a personal relationship with?  Or does it ultimately only come from your body alone, and you feel absolutely no connotations or connections to it whatsoever?  Did it come to you through your body?  I know people who 100% identify with their assigned gender, but can’t really articulate how or why without falling into these same binaries.  And I know people who 100% DON’T identify with their assigned gender and cannot truly articulate how or why.  It doesn’t even have a lot to do with masculinity or femininity.  A lot of our language just doesn’t have the words to describe such an internal experience.

It is true that there is a very specific type of oppression that comes with being born in a female body- or a body that would otherwise assign you female at birth.  From what I can tell, that’s what a lot of this really relies on.  I don’t think anyone who is AFAB and nonbinary or ftm is really denying that, at least not from my experience.  I’m sure they’re out there.  But we, by and large, HAVE had the experience of discrimination in some way or another because of our “femaleness-” our ASSIGNED femaleness.  (Something that got thrown at me was the idea of female socialization- it’s true, I was socialized as a female bc that’s what my body “looked” like and that’s just what our society assumes).  But just as there is a very specific kind of oppression that goes along with being AFAB, there is also a very specific kind of oppression that goes along with being mtf, and there is a very specific type of oppression that goes along with being a poc and any of those other categories.  That’s at the core of intersectionality.  Different parts of our identities interact with each other in different ways.  People experience oppression and privilege in different ways and at different times depending on where they fall in this mix of race/class/gender/ability etc.

I also have body dysphoria, and it’s true our bodies can define a lot of our human experience (after all if I didn’t have a body I wouldn’t have dysphoria, right?? Godddd what a life).  But also because I have dysphoria, I do not think that our bodies should be the defining characteristic of our identities.  Bodies and presentation can cause a lot of our social interactions- including oppression- but I think to say woman and woman’s experience = female body is quite a limited summary of the issue with little nuance, and it’s also quite limiting with the way our society is changing.  This is why I heavily prefer terms like assigned female at birth.  This can imply that such a person may have had a socially female experience (like me) in part due to their body, and thus was socially assigned to be a female, but just... also isnt a woman for some reason or another.

I also think that what we strive to do is not to ignore history (I think very few people are denying the way women have been treated in history, and are still treated to this day) but we hope to build from it.  I think that’s why feminism and gender studies get lumped together.  A lot of feminist activists/scholars (many were both at the same time) led our current strides into gender constructivism.  I studied a lot of gender essentialism when I started my thesis, and to be honest, I saw the point behind it in the context of the time, but we’ve shifted in understanding and context since then.

And, in full disclosure, at the start of this whole adventure, (and i am SURE this will be used against me) I really did identify with being a woman.  I thought it was awesome to have the body I had and when I started witchcraft I did actually fall into that really easy trap of tying the female experience to magic.  (Honestly because I HATED my body and looking back that was probably a way to cope with DYSPHORIA and not the other way around).  And isn’t inherently harmful to have a working magical relationship with your body like that, but it is harmful when you think and say that’s the only way people can exist and the only way people can be magical.  But over time, I just started to change.  Nothing traumatic happened, I’ve been incredibly fortunate and privileged my entire life, it’s not a coping mechanism, I just started to identify with womanhood less and less, for no real particular reason- nothing about me personality or preference-wise changed.  Just my own internal view of myself.

I also got the words for gender euphoria.  And I noticed more and more that, if I was being honest with myself, that that was always how I had truly felt.  While it’s true gender roles shouldn’t exist, just like any other role or label, it’s different when someone chooses that role for themselves versus when they have it thrust upon them.  As a child, like many other AFAB children, I had the idea of womanhood thrust upon me, with all the roles and stereotypes that went along with it.  It’s fucked up in the first place, don’t get me wrong, but I knew people who embraced these fullheartedly, I knew people who didn’t.  But some people who didn’t still identified with womanhood, others became ftm, others became mtf.  I had “woman” thrust upon me, didn’t identify with it, rebelled against it, tried to rationalize it by accepting that I could be a “woman” without falling into gender stereotypes because there is no ONE correct way to be a woman (which there ISN’T), still didn’t feel right, did a full 180 and started buying pink lingerie and worshipped Aphrodite, that worked for a while and was overall a positive experience that helped me hate myself a little less, but at the end of the day, no matter what I did, I still did not identify as a woman.  What does happen to me, however?  I get a burst of euphoria when I am called a boy.  That makes me feel like I’m being really seen.  I actually resonate with that after years of not resonating at all with womanhood no matter how I sliced it, and that’s why it feels so fucking good.  I tried to identify as a woman. Believe me, I tried like all fucking hell.  Even though my presentation is still read as mostly female (I would disagree strongly with it but alas society and their fucking gender roles), I am quite the feminine boy-something to me, and I don’t have to justify that to anyone.

So TL;DR no it’s not a coping mechanism, I have lived a life full of very accepting, open-minded people and I won’t deny that I have that privilege, but in spite of that i STILL did not view myself as a woman, no matter how hard I tried.  I’ve actually generally accepted my body except on the days my dysphoria makes me want to throw my boobs across the room, I don’t think it’s denying history if we’re building from it, gender roles are fucked up.  I recognize that my experience being AFAB- and others who are AFAB- comes along with a particular type of oppression, but that’s why I prefer the term AFAB because it indicates the experience you’re talking about while also leaving it open to considering other experiences like my own and the experiences of other trans and nb folks.  In a few years AFAB might be outdated as a term and then we’ll find more terms to help figure this whole mess out.

TL;DR;DR no it’s not a coping mechanism and anyone is welcome to think that this is simply part of the horrible fallout of female socialization, and anyone is welcome to think that i’m mentally ill for identifying like this. people can think or say all they want about me but it won’t change the fact that I’m a boy-something and it won’t change all the years I struggled trying to figure that out.

Thank you for allowing me to write this all out, I think I really needed to.  This is something that had been floating in my brain forever, and explaining it all to you actually made my thoughts that much clearer.

Now everyone who sees this- please respect my wishes and please don’t clown in these notes if it spreads.  I’m tired enough about this as it is today.  I’m tired enough about fucking gender as it is.  We’re all fucking tired.  What I’ve shared today is about me and me alone and I want to keep it that way.

[ineffablefool]

(1/4) hey uh ur bio says that u r demiromantic and if it's not too much trouble could i get some help? so i'm starting high school next year and so far, i haven't gotten a crush or anything. romantic attraction? don't know her. but whenever i thought or pictured myself "grown up" i imagined myself with a boyfriend. (i'm a woman) all the evidence is pointing towards me being aromantic, but a little slice of my brain is still, "oh, you're just super demiromantic and violently straight, all of your

(2/4) super close friends have been girls, you just have to become really close friends with a guy and there! instant boyfriend" but i know that won't happen. i won't have some man come and suddenly i'm head over heels. but i've always figured i'd have a boyfriend. i know i'm ace, and i am calling myself ace, but whenever i go to call myself aro, my brain goes "but what if ur actually demi and then all the people you told u were aro will think you were a liar" which i kNOW is stupid but i cant

(3/4) stop thinking it. i dunno why i can't fully accept the fact that i'm aro. is it society claiming that you need a partner to be happy? is it the fact that being in love sounds amazing and like floating on clouds and i want to feel like that? i have no fucking clue. and it's not something against aros, like, i know that if someone told me they were aro i'd have no problem with it. which makes it worse because why is it so hard to let go of the fantasy that i'll have a romantic partner one

(4/4) day? i know, in my heart, that there is a like a 1% chance i wont be aro. but i still cant call myself aro my brain won't let me >:( when did you get your first crush? when is it normal for a demi to first feel romantic attraction? did you think you were aro at first? also i sometimes feel like i shouldn't call myself ace bc im too young to know if i like sex yet? when did u start calling yourself ace? ugh sorry for the super long ask,,, also fun fact it's "how do u write kisses" anon hiii

Hi anon.  I cannot promise you excellent help, but I am still glad you wrote to me again, and I really hope you are about to have a straight 72-hour period of Good Days.  (It might take you that long to read this.  Oops.)

So, first of all: there is nothing wrong with calling yourself aro now and then later deciding you aren’t.  Or realizing you aren’t.  (Two different framings for the same thing -- both are good.)  Or deciding or realizing that you’re somewhere on the aromantic spectrum which you feel is better described with a more specific term.  Demiromantics are still part of the aro umbrella!  It’s not an exclusive club where You Must Be Pure Aro To Enter!  (Anyone who tells you otherwise is setting themselves up as Decider Of What It Really Means To Be Aro, and where are their credentials for that?  Hmm, hypothetical gatekeeping person?  Can I please see your certification from the Institute Of Defining Other People’s Identities For Them?  Oh.  Oh you don’t have one.  Because it doesn’t exist.)

Me saying that doesn’t magically make your brain accept the label, of course.  I am just trying to gently show your brain the door, and it’s the one that has to walk through it.

Assuming you want it to walk through it.  Maybe you decide you don’t.  That’s fine!  But “yes, I am indeed aro -- I am on the aro spectrum somewhere so I am using the label” is a perfectly fine thing to tell people, and if they are not carrying forged credentials from the Institute Of Defining Other People’s Identities For Them, then they will probably be okay with this.

I am not any kind of expert on being aro, or ace, or anything.  I am only an expert in being me.  But to somewhat exhaustively answer the questions from your last part...

I had my first crush when I was thirteen or fourteen.  When I was about ten, I was friends with two girls who both had a very public crush on the same boy, and I claimed to also have one on him in order to fit in, but I was completely lying.  Sorry, Drew.  I’m sure you were quite the catch, but I was not feelin’ it.

I don’t know if there’s a specific time when it’s “normal” for a demiromantic person to start feeling any particular way.  It just sort of happens if it’s gonna.  Maybe it never does.  People are complicated and different and that’s wonderful.

I didn’t know what being aro (or being ace!) was when I was your age, because they weren’t really identities yet.  “Asexual�� was for amoebas, or maybe robots.  “Aromantic” was, like, dude, did you misspell “aromatic”?  (Keep in mind, there was technically an Internet in approx. 1995, but there was no Google, no Wikipedia, no YouTube, no social media, the concept of what is now called a “blog” didn’t even really exist yet, and often your parents would not let you on the Internet connection if they could even afford it themselves, not least because it was frequently billed by the amount of time you spent using it. It was incredibly hard to know what things existed in the world back then to even begin to learn about them! Now is so much better. I have all the treasures of the world in my pocket via my telephonic device.)  When I started to learn about asexuality, specifically that you could be ace but not be “an emotionless robot” (gosh has unlearning that kind of judgement been a journey), I jumped straight on that label and never looked back (this was roughly when I joined Tumblr, so I would have been about 32).  I thought I was alloromantic for a while after that, but I’ve come to realize that my feelings on romance probably put me somewhere on the aro spectrum.  And that’s where I am now.

I started calling myself ace, again, when I was about 32, but I didn’t have that label available to me when I was younger.  Ya boi was 13-14 years old, sitting in his bedroom writing letters-to-never-be-sent to his crush, which included long sections about how I had already decided I would never have sex so long as I lived, so once we obviously got married because how could we not when I had such Emotions, he would have to find some other way to get that if he wanted it.  I had no interest in it then.  I never developed an interest in it since.  If I had had the knowledge I have now, back when I was in junior high, I am absolutely convinced that I would have taken the ace label then.  Was I too young to know for sure?  I dunno, we don’t say that people are too young at that age to know they’re heterosexual, so why do other sexualities have to pass a higher bar?  (Because compulsory heterosexuality.  That is why.)

Regardless of your age, if the label of ace resonates with you, you can apply it to yourself.  If the label of aro resonates, you can apply it to yourself.  Or a more specific variant of either, or something else entirely.  And the day you realize “oh gosh, this is not, in this moment, actually me”, you can let the label go, because its only purpose for existing is to be useful to you.

Finally -- this is not something I can personally speak to, but I have seen people who identify as completely aro also state that they enjoy things that our (my? I do not know where you are from) culture frequently sees as romantic.  Like, if you want to have a person who you can snuggle up with, hold hands with, say “I love you” to and have them say it back and both of you mean it -- there are aro people who do all that with their partners, and enjoy it, and don’t see it as interfering with their aromantic identity at all.  I believe them, because they are the expert on being themselves, and I have nowhere near the ego required to decide that I know better.  So that’s something to keep in mind -- cloud-floating and an aromantic identity do not have to be completely separate, because there are lots of kinds of love and of affection, and people are complicated, and that is wonderful.

I hope you enjoy this novel, anon.  It is for you.

[huhusevenn]

jtwya

• fluff, humor

• Word Count: 1.5k

• HighSchool!au | transferee!woojin x reader

• a/n: hiii! i wish u had a great day, and if not, i hope this will help you smile for a bit. the reader's thoughts are in italics. thank for reading! the title sucks, bc i cant think of anything else im sorry :(( it's almost quarter to one here am here lmao

- Rei <3

ps. the photos arent mine, but the edit is mine.

"You're the shit."

"What the shit."

Hyunjin and Yeji said at the same time, but with different expressions. Typical twins. Except that you love Hyunjin's grin of fascination more than Yeji's gaze of disgust for this moment.

"I know. I'm the shit, right?" You grinned, throwing an arm over Hyunjin's shoulder to pull him close to you. You ruffled his hair playfully, earning a small giggle from him.

"No, Y/N, you look like shit. What in the world did you just do to your hair?" Yeji exclaims in disbelief as she eyes your new pixie, undercut hairstyle with light blonde highlights. You seriously don't understand why Yeji didn't like it. It's so beautiful you stared at yourself for 5 whole minutes in the mirror - that's a new record! Even your Dad was impressed by this hairstyle, and he rarely cares when it comes to these things.

"Apparently, I fell in love with Captain Marvel's hairdo. You also told me to get my hair done! " You stated defensively, which annoyed Yeji more.

She rolled her eyes at you. "I told you to get your hair done by hot-oiling it, dumb butt!"

"It's cool, you look like a boy now," Hyunjin ruffles my hair as well, "nice highlights, man! It added to the masculinity."

What. the. f-

Now that explains why Dad gave a fuck for the first freakin' time

"I'll just wish to the gods above the heavens that you didn't completely ruin your chances in dating someone this school year," Yeji sarcastically remarked.

"I don't even care anymore," you exhaled heavily, flushing all your hopes of dating someone out. You told yourself that you'll stop looking for guys and let destiny fate do their thing with you and your soulmate if there's any.

"I'm kind of tired assuming that someone would be interested in me, when society made it clear for people like me that there will never be," you ranted, followed by the sigh of defeat.

"Don't lose hope yet! Someone will see you beyond that hairstyle," Yeji half-heartedly encouraged, still a bit annoyed because of your hair.

"I'll seriously miss your long, dark hair, but I'll get used to this, hopefully." She finally smiled at you. The conversation was cut short by the first morning-bell, then students started to hurry, pushing each other rather carelessly at the hall just to make it to class before the second bell rings.

"See you at lunch!" you slightly yelled. She nodded in response as she separated herself from you and Hyunjin, who is currently doing his best to refrain from laughing hard as you put some of your things in your locker.

The hall is mostly empty by now, for the students have finally settled into their respective classrooms except for you, Hyunjin, and a boy you've never seen before in this school.

"Who's that?" You asked Hyunjin in a whisper as you watch the boy struggle in opening his locker.

"New kid, obviously," Hyunjin replies, "to be honest, I feel bad for him. That locker has been broken for god-knows-how-long and no one has ever used it until now."

"Hey!" You called out, "that locker's broken. We could share if you don't mind."

"PFFFT- Wow, Y/N, just. Wow." Hyunjin snarkily exclaimed, "that's a new kid and you're hitting on him already?"

You chose to ignore him and continued to arrange your locker so all his things could fit in. You don't really take up that much space since you carry everything in your bag because you tend to forget your assignments in your locker. You almost failed your English class because of it.

"Uhh, hi," You heard the new guy's silvery, soft voice behind you, "I'm... new here."

"Yeah, I can see that. So, what's your name?" Hyunjin asks.

"Woojin. Woojin Kim."

"All done," you turned around and gave the transferee a small smile.

"Thanks, man." He said as he placed his stuff inside your locker.

Hyunjin erupted in laughter that echoed throughout the empty hall, clapping his hands in pure amusement at the same time, which only added to your annoyance.

This Woojin guy looks at the both of you, confused as to why you're giving him a bitch face and Hyunjin laughing so hard. "Did I do something wrong?"

". . . I'm a girl."

"Oh, you are?"

Hyunjin cackles even harder, almost becoming the epitome of ROTFL; and you couldn't be more irritated when you see Woojin's look of pure astonishment. Do I really look like a guy?' But there's no point in arguing. You love this hairstyle nevertheless, and you know that you'll rock it whether you'll look like a guy or a gal. The second bell rang, signaling the start of the class. Good thing your first class is Biology, which is found right beside your locker row and your teacher is always 30 minutes late.

Ignoring the now calm Hyunjin and embarrassed Woojin, you entered the room and went to your seat. Woojin and Hyunjin follow you inside, as well. Hyunjin then goes to his seat at the back row, never forgetting to send you a teasing wink as he passed by.

Woojin eyes the classroom for a moment to look for an empty seat, then he found the one and only vacant spot, which was next to yours. Letting what he said slip away doesn't mean that you'd do the same with your burning annoyance, so you decided to act as if he had disappeared into thin air.

You felt him start to walk towards you, but you kept your head down to avoid eye contact. As soon as he sat on the chair, he spoke up. "Hey, I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, or whatsoever."

You looked at him with a raised brow, meeting his slightly serious gaze, to which you chuckled because you find it surprisingly cute of him to be this worried. Your annoyance immediately dissipated as if it was never there. "We're cool, man. No need for apologies."

"As a matter of fact, I find y-"

Woojin was cut off when the door slammed open, then your Biology teacher came in sight, still looking fresh as ever. Your class lowkey thinks that he's spending an hour in the mirror just to "fix" himself, that's why he's always late.

Woojin didn't bother continuing what he wants to tell you because his focus is now on the teacher, as he waits to be called to introduce himself. You didn't mind, though. You can always ask him about it later. Doodling on the back of your notebook is more interesting.

The teacher finally noticed Woojin and he formally introduced himself in front of the class, but with whatever the weirdest reason Mr. Lee has, he started to ask Woojin some silly questions, and you assumed that he's being lazy today and wants to spend the half-hour in doing nothing but joking around.

"So Woojin, what talents do you have?" He asks, sitting on top of his desk.

Woojin nervously fidgets his fingers, yet he answered, with a confident tone, "I sing, sir."

"Really? Care to sing your favorite line in your favorite song?"

He nodded. You're still not paying attention because you're busy perfecting the Pikachu doodle in your notebook. It's gonna be my first-ever masterpiece, even Jisung would be jealous.

But the moment he started singing, his voice cut through your focus then your eyes snapped towards him. Amazement widens your eyes, your mouth gapes in surprise as his voice - his sweet, angelic, and perfectly in-tuned voice - resonates through the whole room.

"When I see your face," he sang, as his eyes wander to the back of the room, "there's not a thing that I would change..."

"'Cuz you're amazing," his gaze met yours, then Civil War suddenly took place inside your stomach, "just the way you are."

The room fell silent, everyone still amazed and shocked. Your gazes are still locked, but you averted it as soon as the sound of Mr. Lee's handclaps broke through the silence, everyone then followed, some even whooping a little. But you're still dumbfounded because of what he did.

What the fuck was that, Woojin?

"But wait, I noticed you directing your gaze towards Chloe as you sang. It's for her, isn't it, Woojin?" Mr. Lee suggestively said, wiggling his brows at him playfully. Your classmates started to cheer loudly, whooping even louder, and a friend of Chloe yelled 'she's single, Woojin!' Woojin rubbed his back of his neck sheepishly, failing to answer because of his nervousness. You are kind of disappointed, but not surprised because new kids always pine up over Chloe - your school's very own It Girl. You thought Woojin would be an exception, but clearly, you are wrong.

Finally, Mr. Lee let Woojin take a seat then started lecturing. "I'm glad I discovered that hidden talent of yours," you whispered to him, nudging his side playfully with your elbow when he sat down.

"But I wasn't looking at Chloe. I swear." He whispered back, sending you a wink. It's not the Civil War that's happening anymore - it's actually the Endgame.

[divinemissdella]

I understand youre mad that eddie won't be back for a second season but calling the duffer bros hacks bc they didn't write a story of salvation seems a bit much lol. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and then they die. Sometimes good people get bad lots in life and they cant overcome that. That HAPPENS. It's not lazy to not save every single character. It's not lazy to have an unhappy ending. Not all stories have to wrap up making you feel good. It doesn't make the storyteller shit at telling stories. Idk so many people seem to feel like the duffer brothers ~don't deserve eddie or whatever just bc they decided he was always destined for tragedy and that seems like a really neutered way to interact with stories. Some people do have tragic lives with no redemption by the end. Telling stories about characters like that isn't lazy or bullshit and it's actually very skillful to make everyone love them and hope for them so fiercly the way stranger things has. I guess idc about the duffer bros specifically but the way everyone shits on the handling of the character just bc there was never any chance for salvation. It just feels like we all need to stop expecting salvation and hope from EVERY character in everything we watch and read. Surely that's boring?

Referring to the Duffer brothers as hacks stretch further back beyond a story of salvation. If anything, I understand why Eddie was killed off regarding the character arc. I find their work grating from many lazy writing decisions that have been made across the show in its entirety. Plus, they seem to write to stereotype.

My issue with the Duffers regarding Eddie was with stating they didn't see a way he would be able to have any semblance of a decent life. The character was not a two-dimensional one, so why expect simplistic outcomes, especially in a show whereby other characters of similar stereotyping have managed to escape that amongst the otherwise confines of the society in which they exist? Then I have an issue where one character is explained basically as a 'bad egg' and pigeonholed that only salvation can come in the form of death. That, more than an issue with writing, is simple issue with stereotyping full stop.

With regards to your comment: "Telling stories about characters" being "...very skillful to make everyone love them and hope for them so fierc(e)ly the way stranger things has." The telling of a story using a screenplay is a multipath street in terms of a television show, film or live production. Words on the page are indeed written by the writers, which the actors and director take and create added dimensions. Like taking a recipe to make a cake. Each actor helps to construct the characters with their understanding of who that person is, what their motivations are and deep diving around why they are who they are. Hand in hand with production who create costumes, hair, make up, effects, scenes and sets, lighting, sound and many other behind the scenes teams and specialty areas all landing under the hand of the director. It is the director who has a vision for what the scene as a microcosm of the larger piece should look like on screen. It's a skilled dance of many. No one, not even the Duffers themselves, anticipated the extent to which Eddie would resonate with people around the world. It happens, and had they someone else in the role, someone else organising costume, someone else handling hair and makeup then perhaps that would not have happened the that would have led to a very different flatter version of the character as written in the screenplays themselves.

If you've not, I highly recommend you take the time to research the actual writing quality in the screenplays. Research 'missed opportunities' you will see many examples that I won't bother retyping to reiterate.

[hoesie-blog1]

whaddup its me ella with josie as a muse n ur watching hawkings channel!

this is basically just me rambling around josie and im really sorry if none of it makes sense i tried xx

she group up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, they all thought the same, and they hated the idea of being different or going out of the norm like everything had to be the same  n nothing could b  different

she grew up in a household where  she  was told what to do, what to think, how to act, etc. growing up she never had the ability to really grow as her own because her family and town were the ones molding her the entire time and she hated that like josie hated how everyone was the same and that she didnt really know who she was like? she just knew how she was SUPPOSED to be not how she really was u know?

once high school graduation came around, josie bounced hella fast from her town and family and decided to travel. her parents hated that bc they said all  she’d ever need was what  the  town was giving her and josie was like lmfao WHAT and  they were like yes! stay! and then when she kept  refusing  they  said if she left the town then thatd b it for her. like theyd support her finanically (which wasnt much bc their family wasnt really rich and the only reason  why they said  they’d support her fiananically was in case  josie ended  up getting  somewhere high  in life and they wanted her money  when josie made it big if she ever did). 

anymemes josie took it and left. she travelled with what she had saved up and probs went to like. canada or something because  lets b real she didnt have much saved up n canada was already pushing it lowkey. bitch isnt rich she cant afford to leave north america. 

during her travels the main point of it all  was to find  herself and find answers that she  needed  to finish the puzzle that is josie  ahn’s true self and she thot it was going to work bc  she heard traveling  alone lets u discover herself and ya that worked but she found out she had magic running through her veins n shes like word so  i wanted a puzzle piece  and got a whole ass different puzzle instead? word ok ok  ok 

so  that happened. after her travels in canada she was more confused  than ever and attended hawkings. she was still confused, still doesnt kno who she  is, now shes a literal witch w powers. cute! 

when she heard about the circle/other witches in hawkings ig she decided to join so maybe it would give her answers she needs bc shes confused n honestly she’ll literally try anything once like. when it came  to possibly killing someone she didnt hesitate she just said ok lets do it!

morally speaking, i dont think josie has much of a compass bc ig she  had  one before in  the town  but honestly  she despises everything they taught her and told her to b so she doesnt  care much about  her compass so i guess shes not really morally  good n leans more morally bad just bc shes like lmfao i dont know who i am ill  do anything  once idc if the devil is the one cheering me on for it. ill b the devil if thats who im supposed to b type of thing u kno? 

shes literature major n is HOE (not only for dicks n vaginas!) for reading and writing n comics!!!!!

she writes everything that goes around her whether its experiences,  conversations she had, or conversations  she over heard like  she just. writes write  writes and writes

she  writes characters  hoping she’ll be able to resonate with her and  make her feel like o wow this character is  ME! u  kno like  shes writing to find herself shes using her characters almost  like test  trials i guess u  could say  

she lives for  comics and superheros bc of the origin  stories that superheros have u kno? they all start off not knowing who they are  and theyre  confused as josie  but along their storyline, they find themselves and thats what josie wants  like she wants 2 be like them n find out who she is. is she the devil? is she a hero? are we dating? are we fucking? are we  best friends? are we something? u know its just all the  questions 

her main point  is finding answers thats all this hoe bitch wants  she wants answers she wants to know y  she has these powers n who shes supposed 2 b someone educate josie on josie pls she begs

when it  comes to magic, she  has a love/hate for it? she likes the advantags and thrills it gives her, but she  hates how it feels like a burden on herself bc its ANOTHER THING she has to understand about herself u feel but she’d never  tell anyone that u kno shes in the circle she  doesnt want them knowing that she lowkey hates her magic 

uhmmmm what  else is there??? 

o ya she  loves the devil lettuce just because she likes how honest and free  people are when theyre  high and how good the body feels like its not tense its all relaxed and the  food  is good and the music  is SO FUCKIN GOOD ITS  LIKE UR HAVING UR OWN CONCERT ESPEICALLY WHEN U LAY ON UR BED GOD I WISH I HAD  AN EDIBLE FOR THIS A NUT

but ya she’ll write little things while shes high or tries to rmemeber  how  people are

shes a lowkey follower i guess u can call her bc  she’ll try anything and test it out to see if its her but for the most part she tries to be independant but right now she  cant b  bc shes taking other  peoples ideas n trying to make them her own but its hard bc she grew up sharing other people ideas n keeping  them the  way they are so she finds it hard to change them bc they lowkey end  up being the same as everyone else still

loves a good party. a hoe. will literally do anything once it could b an activity, a hobby, a person, literallly anything. she’ll  literally  try  anything once. 

anything. 

I FORGOT  THIS BUT UH BASICALLY SHE DOESNT KNOW ANYONE IN HER  FAMILY W MAGIC SHE GREW UP HER ENTIRE LIFE NOT KNOWING ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE FINALLY  FOUND  OUT SHE HAD IT N SHE WAS LIKE WTF???? THE  ONLY  FAMILY SHE KNOWS IS HER IMMEDIATE FAILY SHE DONT KNOW HER EXTENDED  OK 

thats it for josie (or for now bc i cant think of anything) buT  YAH! THATS IT! pls plot w me xx we can make it ugly or cute xxxx

[juunshua]

Most of the girls' ankles are straight but their bent knees go over their feet instead on the balls. They are probably accounting for the heels or boots they will have to wear, so still not great but better. That squat happens at 1:25, end of the hook. The foot is supposed to be parallel to the ground with the knee facing upwards. Vixx has that as a part of their black out choreo (~1:23). N does it well. Sorry I can't remember a choreo where the arms are included. Absolutely agree that good (1/)

Technique more impressive things possible. Taemin for example doesnt have the best vocal technique but his voice has grown so much considering hiw small it was at debut to consistently supporting A4s (I think Ive heard resonant ones from him before too but it's been a while). Following technique doesnt mean everything needs to be textbook or it is going to be, but by doing so it builds a foundation for the stylistic belts and runs. As for dance, they probably started with hip hop which is notorious for the number of injuries it causes, shoulders, waist, and hips in particular. It's as much an issue with the genre as it is of lack of education. As for Joshua, I'm not sure what is going with his body. He said he didn't dance much before seventeen so to be put into a group with experienced members and expected to perform accordingly probably caused him to rush through whatever technique pledis taught to keep up. Oh and definitely, for some reason society equates the amount of visible effort with talent or aptitude when it is almost always the opposite. Ballet looks deceptively easy because it takes years to develop the strength necessary to go en pointe or to support someone en pointe. That's not to say the most awarded ballerinas or ballerinos are because of their technique but they learned how to emote while making the choreography look effortless. In fact injuries are more commonly due to overuse. Than to improper technique. Some of my favorite dancers lack the technical aspects of their chosen genres but they are hyperaware of bodies in their everyday life. Their bodies, their voices are investments into an artistic journey that could be made that much easier with good technique. I saw a jeonghan fancam from clap and marveled at compared to everyone else how much more smooth and captivating his movements were during the transitions of the breakdown. Thats what good technique can do!!

im sorry im like 50 years late in responding i hope i got all ur messages !! under a read more bc i feel like its kinda long laskdfj

but ahh ok!! that squat movement!! its kinda hard for my untrained eyes to pinpoint exactly what they were doing wrong but its super nice to know! thank you!! so the main difference im getting is that hakyeon is the only one who keeps his foot flat for some of the time? bc even hakyeons knee goes over his ankle...unless im seeing things wrong which i probably am. but its not a surprise that he’d be doing things correctly...if i remember right, he has received formal education in various dances before becoming an idollaksjdf ngl though i would consider taemin one of the better singers in kpop like the fact that we can even question whether or not he can or at some point has resonance (and even just support) on an a4...already puts him above like literally 85% of all kpop tenors. like obviously he isn’t perfect by any means, but no vocalist is. i think he has respectable technique and considering his huge improvement from debut...i’d be extremely comfortable with him teaching kpop tenors if he ever had that interest...i’m not sure about taemins exact vocal prowess (im really not at all familiar with his lower and higher registers) since i havent followed him too closely as a singer but i do know of his improvement. but yes i completely agree! just having vocal technique as a foundation just tends to open so many doors and makes so many other things more easy..ahh i gotchu! but i feel like as kpop has progressed over the years, there has been an almost shift to a more contemporary style of dancing for the dominant style? but i know next to nothing about dance so i could be wrong about thatagain i agree! dancing and singing are so interesting to me as a musician because ur body is basically ur instrument for both forms of music and its like !! u only have one!! i grew up primarily on string instruments but the thing is that if i neglect my violin or something and it breaks, in theory i can just buy another one ? the same isnt true for ur body necessarily. if u screw up ur body due to lack of technique (or even overuse while using correct technique), its harder to get back to where u were before that major injury...if even possible like you only have one body one voice u cant get another one its unique to you...if u dont take care of it like u would take care any other instrument then....?? which is why i dont understand why technique isnt stressed as much as it should be ooh im curious as to what jeonghan fancam and where! 

[historians]

RIAN... im not 100 percent if you'll care for this but something tells me maybe you'd like to know. anyways oh man because of your recs via that culture vulture thing i bought call me by your name late october last year and only got around to reading it now, 10 months later ... that book is so incredible i cant even begin to tell, it got progressively more indulging, shit made me part of its actual WORLD and now im facing a crises of some sort of having to face that ending- (1)

- like i genuinely just feel like crying at everything :( i really didnt expect it to take as big as a toll on me oh my god they call me loser. and i dont know i dont have anyone else to tell and i just thought of you and wanted to say that i think so highly of you i dont know how else to put it despite what you might say i really think of you as a star and youve taken me back to a lot of things i thought i wouldnt enjoy as much anymore and i just want to thank you for having been such a wonderful influence on me and you wow me so much at times, i wish i were a little more like you. i always feel like im being creepy lurking around but thats probably just because im a creep. okay shutting up id finally like to ask how you feel about call me by your name, id love to hear everything you can think of but honestly anythingll do, im just seriously curious. okay i hope youre living well and being happy bye!

first off, you’re right in thinking this is something i would care to hear! i’ve actually had a pretty emotional and trying week, and seeing this after i got home today was really lovely and brightened my mood so thank you ): i remembered that list out of nowhere the other day, too. i’m glad you found something on there you like! (also buying books you read months or even uh years later... big mood). i’m really happy to hear all of this honestly, i’ve been kind of on a journey of reconnecting with things these past few months and tbh getting a lot out of it, so it’s for real nice to know it’s benefitting someone else, too. i’m just out here trying my best, and i’m always glad to be smth positive for others if i at all can!! i’m really kind of a dumb nerd so it’s definitely not creepy, it’s really flattering!

that book has a lot of nice memories attached to it because i read it at a time where i needed the reminder to go back to the basics on what type of story i love, and more importantly what sorts of stories i want to tell myself. i bought it on a whim while trying to clam down from a panic attack, and i think i ugly cried through almost all of it haha. it’s portrait of longing manages to be both soft and sharp, like a fox in the arms of sufjan stevens... but for real, i appreciate how it describes a sort of raw, uncertain intimacy that has always been so resonate to me as a queer person. it captures the immediacy of that tension as well as nostalgia for the initial sexual awakening, which is a solid one-two punch as they say. i’ve read a fair amount of Discourse (TM) on this novel (not the age difference discourse tho lmao bc frankly... idc) and i don’t think it captures a universally relatable queer experience by any means esp bc it’s technically written from an outsider perspective, but it speaks very well to a certain experience of emotional intimacy that’s rooted in instantaneous, and often inexplicable, similarity and understanding. the ending is like, crushing, i feel you on that. part of me can’t help but feel it’s fitting for the tone, though, and i almost wish they’d kept it in the movie bc i saw a few too many bad takes about the ambiguity of it. i always read the book ending as oliver being clearly closeted in some capacity. (i did like the movie overall, i was also Incredibly Determined to hype it). i was thinking about re-reading it one of these days, so i might just soon...