#i hope it gets addressed in a more meaningful way

[hootgrowlhootgrowl]

I need these men to talk. I need Stede to take his own advice and not fucking bottle it up. There are so many insecurities and misconceptions between them and they need to start at the beginning, they need to talk about why Stede left (and why he came back)!

Both Mary and Ed referred to him returning home as a whim and i think that's unfair. 'Whim' implies a certain amount of carelessness and shallowness, which I feel doesn't apply to what happened. Stede had been feeling immense amounts of guilt about abandoning his family the entire season (which he didn't talk about or try to work through at all), then he caused the death of another person after being told he ruins everything he touches, then he walked all the way back to his house and it was clear he wasn't all there. He didn't just wake up that night and decide 'you know what? I'm not interested in Ed anymore and I'd rather go back to my wealth and nice things and pretty wife.' Like yeah, it wasn't planned, but I don't think it's fair to call psychological trauma a whim.

And Ed needs to know this! Have they talked about this at all? Does he know anything about what Stede went through that night? Does he know that Stede and Mary were so happy separated but so miserable together that she tried to murder him? That it was after Mary helped him realize how much he loved Ed and how much happier he was that he decided to leave? That he renounced his title, his land, his money, faked his own death, burned any bridges back to his old life to find Ed again? That he gave up everything he had not for piracy or the crew, but for Ed?!

If they would just fucking talk to each other about the actual important shit, how they both feel like they've ruined each other and aren't good enough for each other and like the other loves a version themselves that they don't want to be. I loved the kiss scene in ep 5 and the 'let's take it slow' not because I felt like that in itself was the paragon of communication, but because it implied further communication. It implied they would have the big conversations, but they're both trying to move past everything because they're too scared to be emotionally vulnerable about their insecurities with each other.

Initially I thought it was good they were staying together while working stuff out, but now I feel like maybe a couple weeks apart would be really good for them and give them time to think about what needs to happen and what needs to be shared for this relationship to move forward. Also, Ed's been through a lot of shit the past week, maybe some actual alone time would really do him good.

Best case scenario for me at this point is the season ends with Ed and Stede sitting together after all the action and Ed holds his hand and says "Stede, I love you and want to be with you, but I think we need to talk about our shit first." And Stede squeezes his hand and says, "I think you might be right." And then the camera pans away from them with a slightly open but hopeful ending.

[wackywatchdotcom]

honestly i dont really talk about caine all too much, i talk about pomni a lot and then ill talk abt ragatha a lot and then i also talk about gangle and kinger and it generally cycles between them (i draw jax a lot but it has to do w him just being fun to draw- i need to talk about zooble MORE bc they were one of the first parts of the show that got me invested)- i love the entire main cast but some of them i talk abt more and i feel like caine is not a common one i discuss. but i really really like his character even if i dont talk about him so much

[missaccuracy]

thoughts abt the recent atla comic ashes of the academy?

I'm gonna give quick thoughts based on the first impression, overall it was pretty mid for me. There was staff that I liked, but at the same time I think it's getting some valid critisizm.

On the positive side, I'm glad we got some more screen time for Mai, it's her solo comic, after all. I've seen an opinion that she was ooc for liking to be around kids and for all of the erasing of her imperialistic backstory (but that's not only Mai's problem, I'll get to that later). And while I'd agree that it's unusual to see her being warm around kids, I wouldn't say it's nessessary ooc, Mai was emotionally repressed her whole life, but when she got the chance, she showed her softer side and at the same time she has such a calm and intelligent aura to her and I liked her very much.

As for Azula, I'd completely lost my hope that they'd do anything interesting with her by the middle of the comic. I don't have a problem with her being a spoiled little brat, but I still hoped we'd get some interesting beats with kid Azula. As it is, we didn't get much interesting content on the dangerous ladies and anything particularly new about Azula, which is just boring.

I also wanted something differrent for Kiyi. She's almost pointless for the overall plot and I wanted for her to have a more meaningful role in the story. Instead, she's just kinda there and doesn't do anything important which is a shame to me.

Zuko doesn't have much screen time in this comic, but he's pretty much in character to me as well. What I thought was strange is Ursa and mainly how she wonders what went wrong with Azula instead of, you know, worrying about more important things, like Azula's current whereabouts? She's Azula's mother, why doesn't she bring up the subject of trying to find Azula?

And of course:

We shouldn't forget that Ursa had an off-screen anti-imperialist redemption to the point of her being sarcastic about the Fire Nation's traditions now.

This is a genuinely annoying problem that many other people have already pointed out. The narrative doesn't address characters who had an imperialistic past, like Ursa and Mai, for the sake of making them kinda "always good". It's pretty lame to sweep that under the rug and I see why so many fans are complaining about this. The main theme about the academy bringing out the worst in the students was also kinda perplexing. I think the comic tried to show that it enabled Azula's worst tendencies, but it really didn't show Azula's regression for the worse. It's not that Azula needed to be an angel at the beginning, no one argues that Azula wasn't prone to violence herself, but it still would've been better if Azula got from level 1 to level 2 in mischief and manipulation.

I'll have to add that Ty Lee's brief appearance was nice, she's her usual optimistic self. But I got sad when she didn't appear in the flashbacks, I hoped to see the whole trio together as kids.

Additionally, some panels that I liked:

I can feel Mai's awkwardness about the first time of being a teacher.

And this:

I laughed at this one. Azula's reaction to the knives flying straight towards her is genuinely funny. I like how in the comics Azula is completely unfased whenever some sharp objects are coming her way. She doesn't even remotely panic and just slightly moves her head to the side. Simply badass.

[alliekitaguchi]

one thing I’m hoping is addressed in future episodes is the fact that laudna sometimes acts like she’s the only one who’s ever been through her own trauma. and yes, what she’s been through is AWFUL, but everyone has been through something

- laudna was tricked, tortured, hung, revived, and wandered the world for about 30 years by herself before she found Imogen (though Marisha has stated there was someone before Imogen, but that hasn’t come up in game yet), and then died again, before being revived again. she has delilah in her head, which is Not Great, but laudna consciously brought her back

- imogen was abandoned by her mother at a young age and grew up with an absent father, who revered her as a freak, and was an outcast everywhere she went

- fearne was abandoned by her parents and has had her life be in the hands of others for over 100 years, mainly her “grandmother”, who has been stretching their time together to keep her longer. she’s also been killed, and found out that she was a purposefully made by a villain for some nefarious purposes

- ashton lives every single day in pain, grew up in a cult, died, woke up in a new body that was broken, didn’t know anything about himself, has been alone since he was a child, exploded into a thousand pieces before painfully reforming with new, more “broken” body parts

- fcg was an assassin bot that sat untouched for 2,000 years before being brought to life and thrown headfirst into society with no help or instructions, and then died tragically

- chetney has lived over 300 years by himself because his family abandoned him and he had to come to terms with the fact that they’re all likely dead, and the loss messed him up so bad that he’s avoided making meaningful connections with people ever since, and he literally JUST died, was revived, and watched the person who deemed him worthy of saving sacrifice themself

- orym watched the love of his life and his father figure be cut down in front of him, watched his friend accept a cursed crown that permanently changed her, was killed and revived

there’s no denying that she’s been through something horrendous, but she has to make the conscious choice to get better. to quote matt & marisha both: laudna is an addict, and she digs herself into her grief so deeply that she can’t see the cracks in everyone else.

she was right that orym should’ve talked to the whole group before taking otohan’s sword, but she was a hypocrite because she tried to steal it off of him. the sword is the source of her trauma, but it’s the source of orym’s too. she told chetney to not talk to her about loss after learning just mere weeks ago that he lost his entire family in one day.

i thought dorian put it beautifully: “it’s just a thing.” it only holds power over you if you let it. she’s dead. the blade no longer hurts you unless you let it.

there’s something so riveting about watching the nuances of trauma unfold in juicy, juicy ways

[mha-storiiz]

I was hoping MHA Vigilantes Episode 5 and 6 would address the inconsistency with the writing of Stain (I refuse to call him Stendhal unless it's for tagging purposes, it's not a name he would pick for himself it's the name of the author of the book "The Red and the Black" which doesn't contain any themes relevant to the character). Stendhal is the result of Mr. Furuhashi taking a puzzle piece from someone elses puzzle, and instead of crafting his own puzzle around it so that it fits, he tried to force the piece into his own narrative. It didn't do the story any good. The fight would have been way more high stakes and meaningful if Furuhashi had his main characters interrupt Stain while he's attacking a hero, maybe his first target. Knuckleduster could have still been the cause of his lack of nose, but don't try to sell me the idea that Stain's ideology and conviction that brought people to their knees in fear, resulted from a silly inconsequential duel with Knuckleduster. I love the design and the work of the animation team, but the writing in Volume 2 of Vigilantes did not do Stain justice.

Edit: Having spoken with a few people who like the Stendhal arc who disagree with my take on Stendhal, they think that it makes sense for Chizome to target villains exclusively in the beginning because he looks down on heroes since his time in hero school. Essentially, that his thought process as Stendhal was "since heroes can't do shit, I will". This logic is flawed because it requires the assumption that Chizome has an issue with how heroes deal with crime. Wouldn't he then also think All Might is useless because he doesn't kill the criminals he catches? The real problem Chizome has with the heroes he witnessed is that they dont do it for the right reasons, he thinks they should be selfless and not work for money and fame. The reason the street speeches on true heroism Chizome did were mentioned by Horikoshi in Volume 7 was to imply that he tried a peaceful route to get his opinion heard, but nobody listened, and that's when he realized actions will speak louder and trained to kill heroes. Stain does say that villains are a part of his purge but you can see from his attitude to Shigaraki that they are more of a side quest for him, he will kill them if he comes across them and deems them dangerous but might also let them live if their objectives allign, his main focus has always been heroes.

Stendhal doesn't develop the Hero Killer ideology until Knuckleduster criticized him and beat him up. So if he hadn't met Knuckleduster that night, would he never have become Stain? I find Furuhashi's approach disrespectful, because he reduced the character to someone who decided to target heroes in the spur of a moment after a fight instead of someone who (like All Might) worked towards his ideals consistently for more than a decade. That is why I get impression he doesn't like the character very much. Stan is an important character who drove the plot of mha with his actions. He deserves an origin that is not tied to the actions of the main characters, and that's exactly what Horikoshi gave him. I personally will go by the source material and the vision Horikoshi had for Stain, but if you like the Stendhal origin, you do you.

[butterfly-ribbon]

something i like about mizuki and rui's interactions is that the first time he addresses her with the suffix "-kun" when he's asking about her name? but in every instance after this, he drops it even though he uses it to address /literally everyone/ (including the cis girls, he calls nene "nene-kun" for instance). makes me wonder if mizuki herself voiced her discomfort with it after explaining that she's trans to him or if he picked up on this on his own? either way, i like that he's considerate towards her even if he doesn't fully Get her...

i also love that mizuki here immediately assumes (perhaps a little unfairly towards rui even if it's understandable) that there's some narrativization on rui's end towards her which is rooted in a voyeuristic fascination in her as a person with a unique gendered experience that ties into how she's often treated as an object or an exhibit by everyone? it also makes sense in the context of her genre awareness and performativity bc mizuki is /very/ hypercognizant of tropes and the archetypes she's often forced to occupy?

it's this the expectation of herself as a source of entertainment to others. trans girls often exist in media to be ogled at and othered. she doesn't see reflections of herself in the world. she sees caricatures. so of course she'd assume tht this is what rui wants of her. of course that isn't the case, but trust is so difficult. commodification of transfemininity and transfemininity as performance being widely seen as a source of entertainment and comedy are things that are very normalized in pop culture and media… even when trans girls aren't treated as jokes, they merely exist to reinforce the femininity of cis girls as innately more authentic. this is something mizuki absolutely knows considering her genre awareness and how much she loves to engage with fiction, but i think it's also interesting that in the context of her relationship with the other girls in niigo there's this conflict taking place in terms of being the manic pixie dream girl who purposefully elevates the cis girls by setting the stage for them and helping them address their problems (she does this in carnation recollection, mirage of light, our escape for survival and many other instances) versus using them to affirm her own femininity … we see this the most with ena, but i think this is present with mafuyu too especially in the way she represents mizuki's hope.

mizuki's introduction to the other girls in person also establishes that she's very openly genre savvy and goes out of her way to point out narrative conventions of 'isekai stories' and other media tropes relating to her social situations in a way that feels very deliberate as a parallel to being cognizant of societal prejudices and gender constructs and the way they're sustained through pop culture so she has to co-opt them for her own benefit bc so much of mizu1 is about mizuki using fiction and horror stories as a medium through which she can engage with herself and the other girl but i think this is meaningful insofar as it tells us that mizuki always understood how abuse and misogyny work bc it's been her experience for her entire life… it's interesting that she's one of the few characters in the cast that's an active Anime Fan (ie, going out to try and get merch, tickets, the soundtracks, etc), but the expression around it is /very much/ like trans culture, like how a girl is engaged with things. it isn't about figures or being the ultimate oshi, she enjoys the characters, she enjoys what goes into the creation, she's engaged with how she relates to characters over them being "attractive." there's so much… about her and her genre awareness and also her social awareness… it feels very special bc very few stories go out of their way to acknowledge the fact that trans girls are usually the demographic with so much perspective on women's issues, both bc of their own lived experience and bc they feel like they /have/ to be knowledgeable to prove their own abuse and make up for the taking up so much space in women's spaces? it's motivated by internalized guilt but it's also out of a genuine desire to connect with women and womanhood … so many anime fandoms are often sustained by trans girls and that's something i always notice whenever i'm on twitter or tumblr? magical girl and idol series fan spaces are always occupied by trans girls and the same can be said for things like gundam? mizuki is the type of trans girl who's more into the former than latter but it's still important to note, and it makes me wonder how much of an overlap there is between how that works in english speaking fandoms and japanese ones? i imagine there's a big overlap, but it's still something i'm interested in seeing something more concrete about.

but yeah, the way mizuki is so invested in the process of creation and connecting with the characters very much parallels how she's the MV animator/editor for niigo and how her entire work process is predicated around having an intimate connection with ena's art, kanade's music and mafuyu's lyrics to display them in the best way possible? we know that she was creating edits for her favorite magical girls anime before she joined niigo (and she probably still does in her own time). trans girls often connecting and finding worth in things that cgirls have cast off as childish as well - "i don't need this" versus "this makes me feel like i can have the girlhood i was denied." the lesbian contingent in these spaces is also very strong. i feel that a lot of cgirls get disillusioned and have to come back and address the internalized misogyny around it. magical girls being co-opted by misogynistic otaku also makes it difficult, but it feels broadly meaningful to actually engage with magical girls and how they are genuinely made for young women and even more than that. also the editing … the AMVs and stuff and how it's about fixating on a piece and going through all the clips, closely editing … she's probably rewatched her favorite shows and episodes so often that it's easy for her to think about what she wants to go where. i imagine she would feel self conscious actually sharing her thoughts but also … we know how mizuki is so active in the nightcord chat and how much she fills the space with ena so i wouldn't be surprised. there's a side story where mizuki invites the others out to see a movie bc she doesn't want to watch it alone, she wants someone to exchange thoughts with … it feels so personally driven, this rare chance of hers to … try to show herself to others? she never wants to tell others directly, but through fiction and other things…

mizuki is also a fan of minori but not once does she identify as Anything More than that and of course idols are relevant to mizuki, bc her being Genre Aware extends to anime/manga (specifically magical girls and idols) and films (mainly horror). in the broad context of 'oshi' as a term this is important bc mizuki likes her and thinks she's cool and admires her, but she sees idols as ppl ... she sees girls as ppl.

i also think about mizuki and "loneliness" here in the context of transmisogyny as a system to isolate transfems, to deny them safety and community and solidarity in order to enable everyone else treating them like disposable sex dolls. many ppl will pretend that the idea of transfems being uniquely threatening or predatory is something that came from genuine concerns about sexual safety (especially terfs with their "concerns" about "males in women's spaces") when the truth is that it's a deliberate campaign to convince ppl that transfems don't deserve to be treated as human beings, never mind women, they're degendered objects (aka second class women). ppl aren't /born/ believing that transfems are more dangerous than cis men; nobody independently arrives at this train of thought as much as they're conditioned into it by the patriarchy in order to do their part in maintaining the exploitation of transfems as scapegoats for the sins of cis men even if they're not conscious of it. this just makes them gullible agents of the system.

a huge difference between how 'average' misogyny & transmisogyny operate is isolation. if you're a cis woman who's the subject of constant misogyny, it's still possible to find community within cis women. transmisogynistic oppression goes unnamed, isn't shared by any peers bc transfems rarely know other transfems growing up, and is never called out by anyone even adults. it's true that all systemic violence masquarades as personal violence, but i think this goes doubly so for transmisogyny especially bc the 'mainstream' understanding of transmisogyny even in queer spaces is that it doesn't exist as long as you use a trans woman's correct pronouns or recognize them as women (and even then ppl will always make excuses when they're called out for using they/them and it's not even called transmisogyny; it's just transphobia).

when trans women exist around others they're either reduced to sex objects/freaks or mothers/manic pixie dream girls who take on the brunt of emotional labor in social dynamics, and i think all of this informs mizuki's idea of loneliness here? rui may be well intentioned, but there's an inherent power imbalance between them as a cis guy and a trans girl (even though she's pretransition, it doesn't change this) that contextualizes their isolation and this is something mizuki is obviously bitter about… it's true that her family is supportive and gives her refuge in the form of her own room to retreat back to when the world is too cruel to her, but this is simply not enough when the goal of transmisogyny as an oppressive systemic force is to erase transfems like her from public spaces, which in some part also explains why mizuki feels so insecure about her coping mechanism being avoidance and running away bc it probably feels like she's letting transmisogyny 'win', so to speak? despite how much we see her being treated like an object and an exhibit in incredibly dehumanizing ways as well as all the microaggressions from so many ppl (even the ones who care about her like an and rui) we never see any teachers standing up for her? all they care about is getting her to attend enough so she doesn't have to repeat a year and such, which reads more like they're doing bc it's inconvenient for /themselves/ otherwise to have to deal with her more if she's held back a year. the fact that she tells rui that she hopes he can find friends that he has more in common with than just solitude in response to him trying to tell her that being lonely isn't all that bad is so loaded bc rui is a cis boy, so there's no way he understands the kind of isolation she's had to endure and the fact that he's able to speak positively about isolation understandably makes her bitter for these reasons.

mizuki joking about 'losing' to rui at making friends even though she has "better communication skills" when by that she means that due to her lived experience as a transfem she's had to become very hypercognizant of social norms and conventions in order to mold herself into a very palatable expression of femininity to be accepted by others but her hypersensitivity towards these things still isn't enough and rui can surpass her simply due to the fact that he's a cis guy...

[errielovesu]

Sesshomaru x Fem!Reader (smut)

Cw: Violence, drugging, breeding, oral sex, sex in general, humiliation (?), mentions of sex work/prostitution

A/N: first smut, first fan fic what feels like since 2021, I would’ve wrote this in second person pov but I just ended up doing first pov, I hope you enjoy (^^)

Word count: 2,131 words (wow)

The flash of blush that passes through my body could be enough to warm me up…foggy vision and no knowledge of what or where i’m at.

“Wake up.” I hear a voice say, funny that this thing thinks i’ve slept, I sit there immobile, i’m not afraid but i’m unsure on how to address the current situation. “I know you heard me, you low level thing” thing? i’m not some thing? I slowly peak my head towards the door where the voice comes from, tall, long haired, that’s as much as my eyes can figure out. “Who are you? What did you do to me? Where am” I got cut off by the sudden steps towards me, slowly he comes into my vision.

A demon! “Tell me, why does your kind always say so many words with no meaning.” I asked what I think are very meaningful questions! “What do you want” I snark, quickly i’m met with pain. He slapped me. He slapped me? “Do you not seem to remember? You tried to kill me. Pathetic attempt as you failed miserably and got yourself into this situation.” he said, his voice deep and cold, he reaches down and pets my back, leaving a trail of goosebumps along my body, “i’m not sure I understand, before coming here i was…? i was?” I don’t remember anything at all, “What? You can’t recall your stupid actions, can’t you own up?” I shiver, usually I can get out these situations with a quick smile and wink but I sure this time it might be over for me.

“My name is Lord Sesshomaru” Lord? who actually is this guy. “Lord..?” I stammer out, “Yes, that’s what I just say did I not?” yet another smart ass response, he slowly sits down in front of me, his face more visible now, “Lord Sesshomaru whatever I did i’m sure I can fix but I don’t wish to be tied down like livestock.” I don’t think i’ve been here for a short period of time, i’m starving and weak, I need to do whatever I need to do to get this so called demon lord to release me. “You can fix?” Slowly his hand approached my face, the stands of hairs framing my face get moved out the way, his long nails caress my face enough to give me goosebumps once again, my body is afraid but i’m not, I want out of this place. “If you claim you can fix this attempt of murder that you tried to commit, what shall you do?” Trying to make out his face for some kind of weakness but I fail once more, i’m blind into this, only a figure talks to me, “I can pay you a lot of money, I kn—“ Pain meets my face one more, the familiar slap i felt before, “I’m not in need of money you pet” this time his voice scares my body once more, my body is slowly becoming numb, my joins hurt and i’m losing hope, money always works? everyone wants money? “What do you want then, demon.” I spit out almost defeated, his hand reaches out, I prepare for the slap i’ll get, “You’re willing to do anything? Without denying me?” No slap? Anything? What is he thinking, i’m afraid now, my senses slowly returning and I can smell this place, i’m terrified. “What do you need, Lord?” I vomit out, I don’t enjoy feeling defeated this way. “What is it that your body can do?” My body? Oh. My pride swallowed the fact I am naked, I look down to my figure, my breast, my core, quickly I pull my legs to my chest covering myself, he reaches out and slams my legs down to their original position, “You said anything to get out, you can’t fight? you’re too weak…you should just give up yourself to me now.” Give myself up? Slight beads form in my eyes, I gave up this kind of work ages ago, “I know what kind of filthy work you did…it’s no secret you used to give yourself up to other demons” Sesshomuro? Have I worked with him before? “Yeah I did, years ago, are you forming some kind of revenge plan because I didn’t do you?” My mouth is going to get me killed, “You didn’t do me because I would never pick some thing to help me through my issues, your body wouldn’t even be able to hand my touch” His cold voice makes me want to snark at him, his hands reach out to me once more, this time i’m afraid of where he might reach, my breath hitched his hand wonders around my neck, afraid he’ll lower his hands more my body trembles in his touch, my hands tied behind me and my ankles tied as well. Sesshomuro gets up and leaves the room quickly he comes back with a tea cup, “You should drink this. I don’t want to mess with such a weak body” He holds up the cup to my mouth, I drink the liquid, not to worried what it could be from the strong smell of tea the tea cup gives out, slowly I consume the liquid, my body feels warm again. “I’ll be back.” He closes the door behind him, a big sigh leaves my body when seconds later I lose consciousness.

“You can’t handle anything can’t you?” A muffled voice interrupts my sleep, “You’re body is warmer than usual. Pathetic how the body can submit itself.” What is he talking about, my eyes feel too heavy to open and my body even heavier to move, my face is lifted up by his cold hand, “Tell me human, why is it that your body yearns for me” I can’t formulate a coherent sentence for him, “Too stupid to talk?” His thumb caresses my lower lip, slightly parting my lips together his cold finger slithers its way inside my mouth, “If you’re mouth is this warm I wish to see what other places are.” My eyes slowly wake up once more, his face close to mind, his finger in my mouth it’s all so weird and I can’t process anything around me, his finger slips out of my mouth, “Please what do you want from me?” I whine out in desperation, my body slowly regaining strength, “I want you to serve me with your body” My body snaps away from him in protest, I don’t want to ever touch a demon in that way ever again…I promised myself. My thoughts merge together I can’t formulate thoughts again, what is going on with me. “Seems that it’s finally taking action, wether you want to or not your stupid cunt will be attracted to me”

What? I feel a heat rush through my body, my heart beat accelerating, Lord Sesshomaru drugged me? For sex? I can’t think straight, slowly I feel it, the wetness build up on my sex, my nipples hard and my face flushed, “Shouldn’t you be embarrassed? hah..your body is dripping for me you animal.” My body is too weak to stop his advance, his face close to mine, his hands grab my waist and pick me up, my legs wrap onto his body uncontrollably my body needs to be close to his, I need friction, my body needs pleasure, it feels as he’s carrying me away, shortly my body is pressed into a floor, Sesshomaru towering over me and my body, he lowers down and kisses me, not gently, these are desperate kisses, sloppy kisses, my body only responds by kissing him as well, the interchanges of kisses fuels my body more, I need more, Sesshomarus hand slowly wonder on my body, caressing my neck till he reaches my harden nipples, he isn’t afraid to start playing with them as he stops kissing me and moves his mouth towards my neck, he pushes his teeth into my neck, my body is feeling so much pleasure I can’t feel any pain, I want more. He cups my breast and slaps them, the feeling only fueling my desire for more, his hand move to my face and quickly he lifts me up, “Your mind has sure changed, you’re wet and warm” looking up to him his eyes are red, his fangs longer than before and quickly he grabs my hair and positions me right on his lap, my face…close to his cock, it’s begging to be taken out, “You’ll do me a big favor you pathetic whore” he’s sitting down and i’m on all fours, my ass up in the air exposing everything there is to hide, he slowly pulls his twitching cock out, no time is wasted when he pulls my face straight down, stuffing my mouth with his giant member, I slurp and bob my head for his pleasure, he moves his hand and grabs my ass in the air, my ankles still bonded together pushing my thighs together, Sesshomarus finger wander around my body till he gives in and starts running his finger down my slit, wet and warm, all he can think about his shoving himself deep in me. His other hand pulls my mouth from around his cock, he grabs my face and leads my body to his lap, my dripping sex begging for his cock to fill it up, “You help yourself to it, i’m not going to do everything for you” Slowly I start to position his big head around my entrance, i’m afraid he’s too big for me and he’ll break me, when I slowly ascend into him, Sesshomaru slams himself inside me, he isn’t gentle, rapid strokes meet my core, I can’t help but let out moans and whines, my breast bouncing on his face as his red demon eyes seem to almost want to eat me whole, hands tied behind back as he forces and uses me as his doll, he growls and hums as I squeeze around him. “You gave up this work for what reason? Your tight cunt should always be put to use, you’re unbelievably stupid for doing this, you’ll have to endure me for however long I want” Sesshomaru snarks at me, he stops and throws me on my stomach, positioning himself once again and slamming himself in me, my cunt swallowing every single inch of his cock, unsure how i’m taking him so well I only have pleasure in my head, I need to finish, I need to make him finish, his cold hand lift me up and once again he sinks his teeth into my neck this type more aggressive than before, moans escape my mouth and I can’t contain it anymore, it feels so good, he feels so good, he throws me back on bed and drags my ass up again, slamming once more into me, his hand grabbing

my hips and i’m used like his doll again, all I feel is him. His strokes start to get more sloppy as I feel him twitch inside me, I can’t help but beg for him, beg for his seed in me, i’ve never gotten any in me and right now my body is only asking for it. “The stupid thing wants my cum? Are you even deserving of such treatment, to carry my off spring inside you?” I can’t help but just nod at his words, I want every single drop he has to offer, his strokes filling up every single part of my canal, begging more he shoves his finger in my mouth and forces me up, he cover my mouth with them as he becomes more aggressive, his cock feeling bigger than before in me, my muffled whines and begs only makes him go even faster and faster, he keeps going until I feel it, everything inside me, the warm liquid filling up my womb as he keeps fucking it into me, more whines follow my climax as I clench around his cock and shiver in pleasure. Sesshomaru quickly removes himself from inside me and flips me over, his tounge swirling around his bite marks as he cleans up my blood, his face, his hair, everything you see. He leaves the room and snarks, “If you did give up such work years ago, why does your body still swallow me up everytime, what would others think? A human girl submitting herself to yet another powerful demon, think about that while my warm seed is inside you, farewell.”

[astroamorsworld]

Mars Return Chart

I feel like not a lot of people talk about Mars Return Charts on here and i think they’re pretty important tbh. Is it because they’re every 2 years or so? Idk. So, in this post i’m gonna break down what it means to have Mars in all 12 houses in your Mars return chart. Also I have a mini announcement to make at the end of this post so I hope you guys like it☺️

Mars in the 1st house: This Mars placement fuels your motivation and desire to take action. You'll likely feel a surge of energy to pursue your goals and make things happen. The 1st house is associated with your sense of self. Mars here can push you to explore who you are and what you want to achieve. It's a time for self-discovery and taking charge of your life. Mars' influence can make you more outspoken and confident. You might find yourself taking initiative and readily expressing your opinions. While assertiveness is positive, be mindful of an impulsive streak that can come with this placement. Channel your energy productively and avoid acting rashly. It's important to find a healthy balance for your energy. Engage in physical activities to channel your drive and avoid burnout. Meditation or mindfulness practices can also help you manage your assertiveness.

Mars in the 2nd house: Mars in the 2nd house fuels your desire to accumulate wealth and possessions. You might feel a strong urge to work hard and increase your material security. The 2nd house also ties to self-worth. This Mars return could prompt you to re-evaluate what gives your life meaning and how you measure your value. Are you driven by external validation or internal purpose? You might become more assertive about your financial worth. Negotiations, asking for raises, or pursuing new income streams could be on the horizon. Be mindful of impulsive spending habits that can come with Mars' influence. Channel your drive into wise investments or building a sustainable budget. This could be a time to re-evaluate your relationship with possessions. Are they tools that empower you or burdens that hold you back? Consider decluttering or investing in meaningful items. It's important to find a healthy balance between drive and responsible management. Acknowledge your desire for security without letting it consume you.

Mars in the 3rd house: Mars in the 3rd house fuels your desire to connect and express yourself. You might find yourself more talkative, engaged in debates, or actively seeking out new information. The 3rd house is associated with learning and short-distance travel. This Mars return could ignite your curiosity and make you eager to learn new things, take short trips, or explore new ways of communicating. Mars' energy can help you be more assertive and proactive in your relationships with siblings, neighbors, and classmates. It's a good time to strengthen existing bonds or forge new connections based on shared interests. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or disagreements due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into healthy debate and active listening to avoid unnecessary conflict. This placement can boost your productivity in areas related to the 3rd house. You might find yourself tackling projects, errands, and communication tasks with renewed vigor. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and diplomacy in your communication. Express yourself confidently but be mindful of others' perspectives.

Mars in the 4th house: Mars in the 4th house fuels your desire to create a secure and comfortable home environment. You might feel motivated to redecorate, renovate, or tackle home improvement projects. The 4th house is associated with family lineage and emotional roots. This Mars return could prompt you to explore your family history, address past issues, or strengthen connections with family members. You might become more assertive about your needs within the home environment. Are you getting the emotional support you deserve? Now's the time to communicate openly and establish healthy boundaries. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or tension within the family due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive conversations and focus on finding solutions. This placement can lead to a surge of energy for activities related to the home. You might find yourself tackling domestic chores with renewed vigor or taking initiative on home improvement projects. The key is to find a healthy balance between taking action and respecting the needs of others in your home environment. Be assertive but prioritize open communication and collaboration.

Mars in the 5th house: Mars in the 5th house fuels your passion and desire for creative expression. You might feel a strong urge to engage in artistic pursuits, hobbies, or simply find new ways to express yourself. The 5th house is associated with pleasure, fun, and games. This Mars return could ignite your desire for entertainment, social interaction, and lighthearted activities. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your romantic life. You might find yourself taking initiative, expressing your desires openly, or attracting passionate connections. Be mindful of the potential for competitiveness in your creative pursuits or romantic endeavors due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into healthy competition and focus on enjoying the process rather than just winning. This placement can boost your energy for activities related to the 5th house. You might find yourself tackling creative projects with renewed vigor, seeking out new hobbies, or planning fun outings with loved ones. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and collaboration in your creative pursuits and relationships. Express yourself confidently but be open to feedback and enjoy the experience of connecting with others.

Mars in the 6th house: Mars in the 6th house fuels your desire to optimize your daily routines and become more efficient. You might find yourself tackling chores with renewed vigor, streamlining your workday, or taking initiative to improve your work environment. The 6th house is associated with health and well-being. This Mars return could prompt you to prioritize healthy habits, exercise routines, or address any lingering health concerns. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your professional life. You might find yourself taking on new challenges at work, advocating for yourself or your colleagues, or tackling problems head-on. Be mindful of the potential for conflict with colleagues or disagreements about work styles due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive solutions and focus on collaboration. This placement can lead to a surge of energy for work-related tasks and daily routines. You might find yourself tackling projects with renewed focus and completing tasks efficiently. The key is to find a healthy balance between taking action and taking care of yourself. Be assertive at work but prioritize a healthy work-life balance and avoid burnout.

Mars in the 7th house: Mars in the 7th house fuels your desire for dynamic and passionate partnerships. You might find yourself taking initiative in existing relationships or actively seeking out new connections that challenge and stimulate you. The 7th house is associated with partnerships, contracts, and negotiations. This Mars return could prompt you to focus on strengthening existing partnerships, working collaboratively towards shared goals, or negotiating better terms in your professional or personal collaborations. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and outspoken in your relationships. You might find yourself communicating your needs more openly or taking a more active role in decision-making. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or power struggles due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into healthy debate and compromise to avoid unnecessary conflict. This placement can lead to a surge of interest in connecting with others. You might find yourself putting yourself out there more, attending social events, or actively seeking out new collaborations. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and cooperation in your partnerships. Be confident in expressing your needs but prioritize open communication, empathy, and respect for your partner's perspective.

Mars in the 8th house: Mars in the 8th house fuels your desire for deep personal transformation. You might find yourself confronting your fears and vulnerabilities, exploring shadow aspects of yourself, or undergoing a period of significant emotional growth. The 8th house is associated with shared resources, intimacy, and death and rebirth. This Mars return could prompt you to address financial matters with partners, explore deeper levels of intimacy in your relationships, or confront issues of power and control within partnerships. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and passionate in intimate relationships. You might find yourself expressing your desires openly, confronting intimacy issues head-on, or taking the lead in exploring new forms of intimacy. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or power struggles due to Mars' assertive nature, especially regarding shared resources or intimacy. Channel your energy into productive conversations and focus on finding solutions that benefit all parties involved. This placement can ignite a desire to confront taboos or delve into hidden aspects of life and death. You might be drawn to explore psychology, delve into occult subjects, or research your family history. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and vulnerability during this transformative period. Embrace your courage to confront challenges but also allow yourself to be open and receptive to the process of change.

Mars in the 9th house: Mars in the 9th house fuels your desire for adventure, learning, and exploring new horizons. You might find yourself yearning to travel, pursue higher education, or delve deeper into philosophical or spiritual questions. The 9th house is associated with belief systems, philosophy, and long-distance travel. This Mars return could prompt you to re-evaluate your core values, challenge your existing beliefs, or embark on a journey (physical or intellectual) to broaden your perspective. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your pursuit of knowledge. You might find yourself actively engaging in debates, taking initiative in discussions, or seeking out teachers and mentors who challenge your thinking. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or clashes due to Mars' assertive nature, especially regarding differing beliefs or philosophies. Channel your energy into healthy debate and respectful exchange of ideas. This placement can spark a curiosity about different cultures, religions, or ways of life. You might find yourself drawn to travel abroad, immerse yourself in new traditions, or connect with people from diverse backgrounds. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and open-mindedness during this period of exploration. Be confident in your beliefs but also be receptive to new perspectives and willing to learn from others.

Mars in the 10th house: Mars in the 10th house fuels your desire for accomplishment, recognition, and advancement in your career. You might find yourself taking initiative at work, pursuing leadership roles, or going the extra mile to achieve your professional goals. The 10th house is associated with reputation, public image, and authority figures. This Mars return could prompt you to refine your professional image, assert your expertise, or take on projects that enhance your standing in your field. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your career pursuits. You might find yourself advocating for yourself or your ideas, negotiating for promotions, or taking the lead on challenging projects. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or power struggles with colleagues or superiors due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive competition, focus on collaboration, and navigate professional situations strategically. This placement can lead to a surge of energy and motivation for your career. You might find yourself tackling projects with renewed focus, exceeding expectations, and actively pursuing your ambitions. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and diplomacy in your career pursuits. Be confident in your abilities but prioritize teamwork, respect for authority, and building strong professional relationships.

Mars in the 11th house: Mars in the 11th house fuels your desire to connect with others on a deeper level and build strong friendships. You might find yourself taking initiative in group activities, advocating for causes you believe in, or actively seeking out like-minded people to connect with. The 11th house is associated with groups, communities, and hopes for the future. This Mars return could prompt you to get involved in social causes, collaborate with others towards shared goals, or work on projects that benefit the greater good. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and outspoken in group settings. You might find yourself taking initiative in group projects, advocating for your ideas, or inspiring others to take action on a cause you care about. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or clashes within groups due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive discussions, find common ground, and focus on achieving the best outcome for the group. This placement can spark a surge of enthusiasm and initiative within groups. You might find yourself taking charge of projects, motivating others, and working collaboratively to achieve your shared goals. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and collaboration within your social circles. Be confident in your ideas but prioritize open communication, respect for others' perspectives, and working towards a common vision.

Mars in the 12th house: Mars in the 12th house fuels your desire to delve deeper into your subconscious mind, explore hidden desires or fears, and confront any shadow aspects that might be holding you back. The 12th house is associated with intuition, dreams, and the unseen realms. This Mars return could prompt you to pay closer attention to your intuition, explore the meaning of your dreams, or delve into spiritual or meditative practices. Mars' assertive energy can manifest as an inner critic during this time. Be mindful of negative self-talk and challenge limiting beliefs that might be holding you back. Channel your Mars energy into healthy self-assertion and inner strength. The 12th house can also be associated with hidden enemies or past emotional wounds. Be mindful of resurfacing past conflicts or anxieties. Channel your Mars energy into facing these issues head-on and finding inner peace. This placement can bring a surge of energy for activities related to the 12th house. You might find yourself drawn to creative pursuits that tap into your subconscious, delve into research or healing practices, or dedicate time to introspection and self-reflection. The key is to find a healthy balance between introspection and taking action. Embrace the opportunity for self-exploration but don't get lost in negativity. Channel your Mars energy into positive self-improvement and use your newfound intuition to guide you forward.

I hope you guys enjoyed that post! So as I said at the start of the post, I wanted to announce that i’ll be doing big 3 and big 6 readings! So if you’d like one, DM me or fill out my google form here!

Check my pinned for more💖

[desi2go]

Christmas Scavenger Hunt

pairing: Jisung x reader

words: 4,3k

warnings: fluff, christmas

summary: You and Jisung share a magical holiday experience when Jisung plans a scavenger hunt filled with clues tied to your most cherished memories.

author's note: Hey guys! It's been a while since I posted something. Anyways, I'm back! I had so much fun writing this and btw it's for the StayblrHolidayEvent. I hope you enjoy it <3 Merry Christmas to yall!

-> @stayblrofficial

The first snow of December had come earlier than expected this year, layering the little town in a soft, powdery white. Everything felt quieter, more magical – the world had slowed down just enough to let her breathe. As you walked briskly through the streets towards Parchment Palace, the small independent bookstore where you worked. Your breath was foggy in the frosty air, twinkling lights lined the lampposts and wreaths decorated the storefronts with pops of red ribbon. You absolutely loved Christmas. It had always been your favourite time of year with hot chocolate, the smell of pine and cinnamon as well as Christmas movies you had watched a hundred times without getting bored. By now, you could quote every Christmas related movie that was ever produced. This year, though, felt different. There was something – or rather, someone – that made your cheeks warm even in the winter chill.

Jisung.

It had been only four months since you and Jisung started seeing each other. Four months of easy laughter, long conversations and quiet meaningful moments. He wasn’t the most outgoing guy due to his social anxieties, but he had this gentle, thoughtful way about him. Like he always noticed things others didn’t. You liked that about him, you liked a lot about him, actually.

The bell above Parchment Palace jingled as you stepped inside, the familiar smell of paper and vanilla candles greeted you. Sofia, your cheerful coworker and oldest friend, looked up from the counter and grinned widely. “Morning Y/n” she said, brushing her curly hair out of her face. “Someone’s looking extra giddy today” You rolled your eyes, a smile still spreading over your lips. “I’m just excited about Christmas”

She smirked, wiggling with her eyebrows. “You mean you’re excited about Christmas with Jisung” At her suggestion, you fought the blush that crept up your cheeks. “Maybe”

Sofia chuckled, holding up a small envelope that she waved through the air. “Speaking of, this was mysteriously dropped off for you earlier. No return address, no name. Just To Y/n. Care to explain?” You reached out after hanging up your jacket. “It’s from Jisung, isn’t it?” you murmured while Sofia urged you to find it out, observing the letter behind your back. Your heart skipped as your fingers brushed over the neatly folded paper. As you opened it, you immediately recognised Jisung’s handwriting, slightly messy but unmistakably his.

A little clue to start your day: Find where we first sat with coffee for two. There’s something there only for you to see.

Your lips parted in disbelief, rereading the few lines over and over again. “He’s sending me on a scavenger hunt?” Sofia clapped her hands together in excitement. “He is such a keeper. Honestly, he is making all the other boys look bad” You could hardly contain your joy as you shoved the note securely into your bag. “I can’t believe he actually did this” Sofia laughed, pushing you towards the door and holding your jacket in the other. “I will manage alone here. Go, you have got a mystery to solve”

❄❄❄❄❄

You stepped out of the bookstore into the crisp, snow-kissed morning. The streets were still bustling with holiday shoppers, their arms full of bags, red and green scarves tight against the cold. You tugged your own scarf closer around the neck, the note Jisung had left still snug in your bag. You couldn’t stop smiling. A scavenger hunt. He really planned a scavenger hunt. Jisung wasn’t the flashy or over-the-top like the romantic leads in Christmas movies you loved so dearly, but he had his own charm and this? This was exactly the kind of thing that would melt your heart. Thoughtful and so personal. It already felt like the best Christmas you had ever had, and it hadn’t even arrived yet.

The Blissful Brews was just around the corner, nestled between an old record store and a boutique that sold handmade jewellery. In that old record store worked Jisung. There, you had crossed paths for the first time as you bought your favourite albums and accidentally ran into him. You still remembered how his coffee had drenched your blouse and his deep apologies. The Blissful Brews was the kind of coffee shop that locals loved – warm and small enough that you could find someone you knew sitting in the corner with a steaming mug. The windows were fogged over from the warmth inside and the soft music spilled out as you pushed through the door. Rich espresso mingled with the sweetness of cinnamon and sugar – one of your favourite smells in the world, second only to fresh books and old paper. You paused for a moment near the entrance to take it all in. Everything about this place reminded you of Jisung. The first time you really met (well, if you don’t consider the little accident) and you were so nervous. He had invited you to a coffee as an apology. At that time, you didn’t know that he soon will cross the line between friendship and love.

Now, standing in the familiar warmth of the café, you couldn’t help but laugh at the memory. They both had been incredibly nervous, and the first few minutes were awkward as you had ordered. But this issue was overcome pretty quickly, and you were engaged in a deep conversation for hours. “Can I help you?” the young barista asked, leaning on the counter and eyeing her with an amused expression. You turned to observe the man that had dyed his hair in an unusual pinkish colour. You greeted him, telling him that you searched for an envelope. Of course, he knew you. He was the one that took your orders. Raising his eyebrows, he smiled. “A scavenger hunt clue, maybe?” You blinked, surprised. “Jisung told you?” The barista smirked sheepishly. “He may have come in last night and left something for you. That boy is so sweet” He gestured towards the back of the shop. Of course, why didn’t you think about it earlier? It was obvious that Jisung would have hidden at your table – the small two-seater tucked near the huge window where you had sat on your first unofficial date.

Your boots clicked softly against the wooden floor as you made your way to it, the hum of conversation and the faint clatter of cups filling the air. Your heart did a little flip when you saw a piece of paper carefully taped to the back of one of the chairs. He really did plan this whole thing, you thought. The handwriting was unmistakably Jisung’s, looking like he had been scribbling quickly.

Clue Two: Remember the big storm where you got soaked? You laughed at me ‘til you nearly choked. Go where we took cover and found some cheer, You will find your next clue there.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that memory. It had been one of your earlier dates, back in late September. The weather had been cold but clear when you walked around the town. Jisung, as always, had insisted on walking you back home after the successful date – even though it was a good twenty-minute trip, and his own apartment was on the other side of the town. Halfway through, the first droplets of rain started to fall that had been signalized by the dark clouds and the stormy wind. Small and cold, the water absorbed by your thin jacket. “Oh no” you had muttered, looking up at the ominous grey clouds overhead. Jisung, always the optimist, had grinned. “Maybe it will just be a drizzle” he commented.

Well, it wasn’t. Within moments, the rain had come down in buckets, soaking both of you to the bone, clothes clinging to your wet skin. You remembered standing there in the middle of the street, your hair plastered to your face, water running down your jacket in rivulets. And Jisung stared at you helplessly like he was trying to think of something heroic to do. “Umbrella?” he had stammered. “Too late for that” you said, giggling while you brushed your hair out of your face. Jisung had looked at you like you were slightly insane but the smile permanent on his lips. He had tugged you to a small shop, taking shelter there. The quirky little clothing shop near your apartment where he had bought you a fluffy, deep blue hoodie with a funny picture on it to keep you warm. So far, it was one of your favourite hoodies, creating a great memento of your date.

Now standing in that same clothing store, the second clue clutched in your hand, you searched through the cozy, cluttered shop filled with all different kinds and seizes of clothes in multiple colours. The old shopkeeper, looked up with a knowing smile. The smile of the grey-haired lady was kind and warm. “Ah Y/n” she greeted you, folding new clothes and putting them away on of the racks. “Jisung mentioned you would be coming by” You blinked. “He told you about this?”

Her laughter spread the whole shop. “Of course. That lovesick boy spent nearly an hour here yesterday, making sure that everything was perfect” You followed her to the counter as she pulled out a big paper bag. As soon as you opened it, your gaze locked on a red hoodie, decorated with small white snowflakes. You chuckled at the parallel to your past date. On top sat another note.

Here, my love, is clue three: Our bench in the park, Where we shared our first kiss. A memory I hold, sweet and kind, Go back there now and you will find the next clue.

❄❄❄❄❄

As you stepped back out into the cold, the snowflakes drifting lazily from the sky, you couldn’t stop the giddy excitement bubbling inside you. Every little detail Jisung had included so far – the places, the memories, the clues – was so perfectly. Your boots crunched against the freshly fallen snow as you walked quickly towards the park. The streets were busier now, families wandering hand-in-hand, and the shop windows glowing warmly in the gathering dusk. You pulled your scarf tighter around your neck, your breath misting in the cold air. The park wasn’t far from the clothing shop and soon, you found yourself standing at the entrance, the large trees stood brave in the falling snow, their branches dusted with snow.

The benches – especially the one you were looking for – were a small island in the white. You scanned the park, looking for the familiar sight. There it was, your bench. The bench where Jisung finally made you, his girlfriend. It was tucked beneath an old oak tree, the powdery snow gathering slowly on the wooden slats. The tree’s branches stretched overhead, and you could almost hear your memories of your past visits. The easy conversations, the quiet moments where you had leaned your head against his shoulder. And then, the kiss happened and symbolised the beginning of your relationship. He had seemed so nervous, his gaze wandering over your face, from time to time locking on your lips, not sure if he was allowed to lean in and capture them. You didn’t act differently.

Honestly, he had won your heart over at your fist unofficial date. As you told him about your day, your own eyes travelled over his soft, pillowy lips, imagining how it would be to kiss him. Eventually, he took all his courage and pressed his lips firmly on yours. Before you could even react, your mind still trying to understand what happened, he retracted. As he brushed through his hair in panic, stuttering apologies, you shook yourself out of your trance and grabbed the collar of his jacket. Swiftly, you pulled him towards you again, his voice was overflowing while you silenced him skilfully. This time, you lead the kiss and quickly, he recovered from the shock and reciprocated the tender gesture.

You reached the bench, smiling to yourself as you saw the small package, wrapped simply in brown paper and a beautiful red bow. Bending down, you brushed the thin layer of snow from the package and untied the bow as well as the paper. A big mug caught your eye, pulling it out from underneath the carefully wrapped papers to ensure that it won’t break.

You turned it to inspect the motif, heart fluttering in your chest as soon as your gaze fell on the photo printed on it. It wasn’t just any photo, no, it showed you two, his cheeks squished against yours tightly. You took it right here on the bench a few weeks prior on a date. Both of your smiles were bright, eyes sparkling with joy and adoration. Your chest tightened, touched by the thoughtful gesture as you pulled the mug close to your heart. This would be your favourite mug from now on. Inside, folded carefully, was the next clue. You pulled it out with a mixture of excitement and curiosity, unfolding it gently as if it were something fragile. Jisung’s handwriting filled the page.

Clue Four: It’s time for the final stop on our trip, Come warm up your hand and take a sip, Come Home where the heart will be, Find me, my love, and you will see.

Your heart leapt. Home. It was a simple word, but it meant so much to you. Your home had always been your apartment – your cozy little space filled with tons of books where you had lived since you moved into this town. But with Jisung, it had started to feel like more than just an apartment. As the weather was colder and rainy, you had spent much time there together, arguing over which Christmas movie to watch, cooking dinner side by side and wrapping presents for family and friends.

Slowly, over the last few months, it had become a place where you could imagine a future, a future with him. With this scavenger hunt, he wasn’t trying to be someone he wasn’t. He wasn’t flashy and didn’t plan some over-the-top romantic gesture straight out of a movie. What he had done was so much better – he had paid attention to the small, quiet moments you had shared. The memories that felt uniquely yours.

You read the note again, realizing what the clue actually meant. Jisung was waiting for you. “Home” you murmured to yourself, your breath fogging in the cold air. You felt a flutter of anticipation deep in your chest as you made your way back down the snowy path toward the street, eager to reach your apartment, to see what Jisung had planned next. The walk was quick, but it felt like an eternity. Each step seemed to pull your closer to something that had always been just out of reach – a feeling of belonging. With Jisung.

❄❄❄❄❄

When you reached your apartment building, it felt like the final puzzle piece was clicking into place. The familiar steps that led to the entrance, the little lobby with its mismatched furniture and the clattering sounds of neighbours going about their daily routines – all of it was comforting. It was home. Now, there was the promise of something even more special waiting inside. You climbed the stairs to the floor, your boots clicking softly on the old wooden steps. The snow outside created a thin layer of frost now thick enough to blanket everything in white. But inside, the warmth from her apartment was waiting – just like Jisung. When you reached the door, something was different.

The dim hallway light flickered above your head, casting soft shadows on the walls. But what really caught her attention was the way the hallway smelled. It wasn’t the usual scent of fresh air or coffee from the neighbours down the hall. This time, there was something warmer, sweeter in the air. Curious, you approached your door and paused, your hand resting lightly on the doorknob. The faintest glow of light slipped through the crack beneath the door, casting a soft, inviting warmth into the otherwise dark hallway.

You opened the door slowly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you stepped inside, observing your apartment in search of Jisung. There, in the middle of the living room, was the most unexpected sight – a blanket fort. An actual blanket fort. You stood frozen for a moment, unsure whether to laugh or cry at how utterly this was. Soft blankets and throws were draped over every available surface, creating a small cozy cocoon in the centre of your living room. Christmas lights twinkled across the top, casting a soft glow. There were pillows scattered everywhere, some piled high inside the fort, others lining the floor like a cushiony path. It was like a childhood dream, but somehow even better – because this time, you had Jisung.

The small Christmas tree you two had bought together last week (well, he helped you with finding the perfect one since you couldn’t decide which one to get and brought it to your apartment since the tree was too heavy for you to lift). Despite your bickering that he should let you help at least with holding it up too, he wanted to do it alone, claiming that it was his job as your boyfriend. You had decorated the Christmas tree together, in the background played your favourite playlist to which you both sang loudly, hanging the handmade ornaments and paper snowflakes on the twigs.

Your heart swelled with pride as you took it all in, trying to figure out how you could get so lucky to have such a thoughtful boyfriend. And then, you heard him in the kitchen, he seemed to be preparing something but as he realised you were home, he stalked into the living area. Two steaming mugs in his hand, your favourites you recognised, His eyes displayed fondness when he observed you, smiling brightly.

“Hey, my love” he greeted you, placing the mugs onto the small couch table before turning to you again. You stepped closer, your feet light on the carpet as you walked towards him, his smile got playful. Hands on your hips, you tried to suppress the grin threatening to spread across your face. “So, this is the big finale? A blanket fort? You had me running all over town for this?” A mischievous smile appeared on his lips. “Hey now, this is a masterpiece. I spent hour building and rebuilding it until we both can fit inside. It’s the crown jewel of the scavenger hunt” he exclaimed, fully convinced with his grand idea. You raised your eyebrows, judging his so-called masterpiece. You must say that he did a really good job at building it.

“I must admit, it looks nice” you told him your decision, smiling fondly. “Did you plan all of this?” He nodded proudly, pulling you inside and placed a mug into your hands. As you analysed it further, you realised it was a hot chocolate topped with whipped cream, marshmallows and colourful sprinkles. Just how you liked it. The interior of the fort was cozy and intimate, pillows scattered across the floor, and the twinkling lights above gave the space a dreamy glow. You let out a breath you didn’t knew you were holding. “This is … incredible. This whole journey was wonderful.” you whispered. Jisung shifted, his comfortable scent wafting surrounded you, he smelled like home – your home.

“No need to thank me. Even though we are only four months into our relationship, I wanted to do something special. Because in this short time, my life has changed drastically. You became the centre of my life, my love.” he explained, pulling your hand into his, heating your cold fingers as he caressed the skin lightly. His gaze was soft, full of love when he continued.

“And I wanted you to feel how much everything I experienced with you means to me, every single memory we made together. How much you mean to me” You looked at him, your eyes shining while the weight of his words sank in. “I noticed” you stated quietly. “The café where we had our ‘unofficial’ date. The clothing store when we were surprised by the sudden rain. The bench where we shared so many memories, our first kiss included. You didn’t just send me running around town, Ji. You sent me through us”. Your boyfriend leaned back on his elbows, his gaze softening.

“That was the idea” he admitted. “Sometimes we get caught up in the present, in everything happening around us. And I just wanted to take you back – to remind us of all the moments that brought us here”. Your other hand traced the edge of one of the blankets as you took a deep breath, your voice trembling slightly. “It worked. Every step of the way, I felt it – how much thought, how much love you put into this. I’ve never had anything like this before, Jisung. It’s overwhelming, in the best way” The tears you fought to keep in, slowly escaped and rolled over your cheeks as you sobbed because of how much you adored this man next to you and the weight of not only his words but also his actions.

He cooed at you fondly, cupping your face with his hands, brushing the tears away while placing a sweet peck on your forehead. “Don’t cry. You know I can’t stand it when you cry” Soothingly he rocked you, humming to help you calm down. You smiled at him, puffy eyes but you promised that this were happy tears. “This” you said finally “is more than I ever could ask for” You leaned into him, resting your head against Jisung’s shoulder.

“I know that it’s not Christmas Day. But I have another gift for you” he stated, reaching into his hoodie pocket and pulling out a small, wrapped package. “I thought the fort was the grand finale?” You asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. He placed it gracefully into your open palm, his expression playful but tinges with something deeper. “You could describe it as an addition. Go on, open it”

You tore into the wrapping carefully, your fingers grazing the brown paper and the simple red ribbon. Inside was a small wooden box, its surface smooth and polished. Your breath caught as you opened it, revealing an assortment of trinkets nestled inside. There was a ticket stub from your first movie date, the corner slightly torn where he had fidgeted with it nervously. A pressed leave from the time you had from the time you spent in the park with a picnic as the weather wasn’t that bad, even for autumn. Several other things from past dates were laying in the box. The memories flooded back in vivid detail. “You kept all of this?” your voice broke again as tears welled up. He chuckled, his gaze steady. “Of course. I wanted to remember it all – the moments that made me realize how much you mean to me”

You swallowed hard, fighting the lump in your throat that made it difficult to speak. “I don’t even know what to say. This … This is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me”. He smiled widely, pecking your forehead once again. “Thank you so much, Ji” “I’m glad, because you mean the world to me, Y/n. And I think there’s one more thing we’re missing to make this moment perfect” He brushed a hair strand out of your face, his touch lingering for a memory before his gaze dropped to your lips. “What’s that?” You smiled widely, already knowing what he is up to. After four months, you had figured out what he meant with that but you tagged along.

“This” The fondness in his eyes made your heart stutter and you couldn’t help but lean closer to him, capturing his lips with your own in a passionate kiss. His lips were soft, pillowy even, and you could even taste the chocolate from the hot chocolate that he had sipped on before. The kiss was filled with promises that only love could carry, the rest of the world melting away, leaving only the two of you and the quiet certainty that this was exactly where you were meant to be. When you finally pulled apart, you rested your forehead against Jisung’s, your eyes shining with joy while your boyfriend tightened his arms around you in a protective manner.

Comfortably, you leaned back and cuddled further into his embrace and the blankets that were like a fuzzy cocoon, enveloping you in warmth. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else for the rest of your life. “We have got so much more to add to this box”.

[oneforblu]

skip and loafer 71 thoughts

WOW. another beautiful chapter. i love where the story is going with shima's character!! finally, we're starting to unravel all the parts shima has been hiding away. compared to the last cultural festival, shima has made significant progress by taking small steps to become someone he can be proud of. along those steps, he is finally addressing the issues with his mother. for so long, shima has put on a facade to please the people around him, but slowly, he's starting to become his own person. one thing he has to finally face is his relationship with his mother.

after so long, we finally get to see what his mom has been thinking. we understood that shima's relationship with his mother was perfect, but he constantly felt pressure to please her, which ultimately caused a rift in their relationship. seeing her point of view shows us she truly wanted the best for shima but came about it the wrong way and ended up selfishly wanting things to work out for HERSELF. shima just wanted to make her mother proud, and her mother wanted shima to become a star, no matter what the cost. being a single mother is difficult; no one can truly understand that position unless they have lived it themselves.

however, it's clear that even if her intentions were pure, deep down, she wanted to use shima to prove to herself that all her sacrifices were worth it. motherhood requires a lot of sacrifice. you constantly do what's best for your child and even put their needs before your own. i emphathize with shima's mother. it's understandable to do everything you can to give your child the best opportunities. however, sometimes parents put all their hopes and dreams onto their children without meaning to. shima's success became more than what was best for him; it also became his mother's only hope.

the contrast between shima's family dynamic and mitsumi's family dynamic is so well done. in the past few chapters, we've seen how supportive and close mitsumi is with her family. you could easily tell from how confident she is that she grew up with a lot of love. shima, on the other hand, grew up constantly feeling the world on his shoulders. he did all he could to make his mom proud, and all that pressure eventually broke him down. the theme of family is handled exceptionally well in skip and loafer; i love seeing how different dynamics impact the characters.

acting caused shima a lot of pain. parts of it were fun and even fulfilling, but the stress of trying to be the best actor and the best son made it unbearable. even after not acting for so long, shima still felt pressure to act "perfectly. He spent so long doing what he believed everyone wanted that it caused him to lose sight of what he truly wants out of life. he put acting on hold; he didn't have many meaningful connections with people, and he hadn't properly dealt with his mother. but now, all he wants to do is his best. after meeting mitsumi and growing a beautiful relationship with her, shima understands that he wants to stand beside her.

it takes so courage to change the way you've lived for so long. the moment shima decided that he WANTED to be on stage again was the beginning of his journey. i'm so excited to see how shima performs in the next chapter! i am incredibly proud of all the progress he has made. each and every chapter, shima is steadily working to become the person he's always wanted to be. it makes me so emotional to see how far he's come from the beginning of the story. i hope shima has a talk with his mom because I believe that once he clears the air and speaks honestly from the heart, he'll feel much more confident in his self-discovery journey.

i LOVED this chapter!!!!!! i am so in love with this story, and each chapter just reminds me of how beautiful skip and loafer is. i'm so excited for what's next!!

[chibigingi]

Reviving the Dormant Seed

Chapter Ten: The Nadas Dirthalen

In which Rook seeks information from the Nadas Dirthalen's new Archive Spirit while poor Manfred accidentally creates a classic math problem…

“Well? I’m waiting.”

Neither twin dared to look at one another, as doing so would certainly give up the ghost. Ren didn’t need to feel his sister’s harsh gaze to know to keep his mouth shut; between the two of them, she always spun the best yarn, so much so that, were they raised in a kinder world, she’d have been a wonderful author in her own right. It was frightening how easily she could lie and get away with it, but when one had magic to fall back on, it really shouldn’t have shocked him.

“We were meeting with a friend,” Ash said, plainly, as though it wasn’t at all suspicious that said friend wished to meet in private, nor that said friend happened to be the leader of a cult that worshiped an Elven god their caretaker had once helped banish from this realm. Manfred couldn’t possibly have known this, of course, but how much did Spite see, and how much was he able to relay to Manfred before he caught up with them, neither twin knew. Still, Ash’s demeanor hadn’t wavered in the least. “We wanted to procure some additional supplies from Rivaine, so that Miss Laidir might feel more at home.”

It did make sense, to meet with someone at the docks for such a venture. At least in Ren’s mind. Not that he personally would believe that at face value, but the fact that the crow didn’t immediately call them out was hopeful. There was a chance he might not have gotten a good look at their contact, or if he did, he might not have known the significance in the attire he wore. There was certainly no way he could’ve heard their conversation, not with the wards in place.

Still, suspicion shone in those multitude of eyes, as Spite let out a curious croak. “Smells like lies… and Rook.”

Now those eyes shot to Manfred, as the crow leapt into the air and flew towards the twins. They had only met the spirit on a handful of occasions, though it never seemed to matter much to him as Spite seldom ever seemed to remember them. He’d recognize them as friends of his friends, but their names and who they were never seemed to hold a permanent residence in his mind. The way he landed next to Ash and hopped around, sniffing loudly, despite the form he took, it was clear that the lie he detected before was well on its way to being a forgotten memory, as older, more meaningful ones to the spirit, took over. “Rook? I smell Rook. Rook? Why? Why smell Rook?”

“Because we pulled her from the Fade prison,” Ren said, comfortable enough to address it without exposing themselves to either Spite or Manfred. The crow hopped around him now, sniffing the air around him and growing more excited by the second. “She’s at Arlathan Temple now, if you’d like to go see her and the professor.”

That excited hopping stopped at once, as no sooner had he been given a destination, Spite shot off into the sky without so much as a ‘thank you’ or ‘farewell’ to Manfred and the twins. Ren wasn’t entirely sure this was a good thing for them, but it did give them one last problem to deal with. There was always the hope that Spite’s excitement to see an old friend, who he truly cared about even after all these years, would simply overrun whatever he had witnessed in the warehouse. After all, he was but a simpler spirit, at least compared to Manfred…

If Spite’s immediate departure bothered Manfred, he didn’t show it. Nor was he quick to forget what his friend had said, as he asked, “And who was this friend? Anyone I’d know?”

The fact that he hadn’t mentioned the ‘friend’s’ appearance was hopeful. It either meant that Spite didn’t have the time to mention said ‘friend’s’ wolf-inspired attire, or that Spite didn’t see the significance in it at all. Which meant that was still a chance for them to spin the narrative to their liking without having to resort to outright lying or using magic.

A hope that was immediately dashed when Ash unleashed the spell she had been discreetly brewing since Manfred had caught them leaving the warehouse. “Mind charm…”

Read the chapter here!!!!

[cinnamonest]

not too sure if you've already put thought into it, but which yanderes would be/wouldn't be willing to break bones? i feel like for most of them it's a hard yes but depending on the circumstances and their mental fragility.

also sadisim. (COUGHCOUGHCHILDECOUGHCOUGH)

ignore this ask if you've already answered/have a question similar to this (or just don't want to answer/! and if your reqs are closed and my tumblrs just tweaking that's okay too!!

I would say Albedo initially, but he's a practical man, if you're not going to be using the limbs anyway might as well just take them off, so… as for some others…

Kazuha does it for practicality, specifically your ankles. It's a useful risk prevention method.

He still feels bad, and he apologizes… but he doesn't hesitate much. After all, he did give you fair warning, but you ran off yet again. This is just to keep you safe, for your own well-being, and for his peace of mind.

He's sweet about it too. He puts your hand against his arm beforehand, and tells you here, you can squeeze down on my arm, okay? After all, it will help with the initial pain.

He's still sweet when you squirm away and whimper, even though the grip with which he pulls you back is harsh.

I know. But I can't let you be a danger to yourself…

He holds you gently for however long it takes you to stop crying. He'll get you water and food and painkillers/alcohol, tends to your every need, waits on you hand and (broken) foot. Notably, once the initial reaction has died down, he stops really acknowledging it in any meaningful way, talks to you as if everything is normal. Even when addressing your leg, he talks about it as if it were some injury you acquired by other means.

You might be spiteful enough to bring it up and remind him that it's his fault, but he's quick to correct you, keeping a soft voice and gentle smile all the while.

You did have every opportunity to choose otherwise, you know. Ah, but I know you're upset… it's okay if you blame me.

He'll be fully patient for you to heal, too. He’s very cheerful once it's fully healed, says he's glad you're better, helps you walk around a bit to get readjusted, keeping his hands firmly supporting you the entire time. Even for a while after it's healed enough to walk, he checks on it from time to time to ensure the final stages of mending are going well.

He tells you you're fully healed, with a soft voice and ever-pleasant smile, not without adding—

Let’s hope it stays that way.

----

Childe has to be in a more angry mood than usual to get to that point. Usually, his form of sadism is the sort that focuses on a sort of pleasure-pain, the sort he can get off to… but this is a bit different.

It's only because you keep being irritating. He's really tolerant, you know? He's been so lenient, he tells you, he's been so nice, he's been so good to you, and what do you do? You keep being mean. It's cute up to a certain point, but you're being like, really really mean.

It's actually kind of nice, on his end, to see your immediate reaction — you can tell just by the strained smile and clenched teeth as he speaks that you've crossed some sort of line. For once, you actually shrink back, clutch your hands up at your chest defensively, start to take some steps back… but you can't get away fast enough before you're drug forward by the hair or neck.

Come on… it's not that hard to be good, is it?

It's a last chance — he's nice enough to give you that, at least, even if you don't deserve it (which you don't, he thinks). Come on. You can be good, you can apologize and submit and he'll forget all the spiteful shit you've done today and then you can have a nice, happy rest of the day. You can do it. It should be easy. He takes one of your hands in his, holding it with a sort of sincere pleading gesture.

But, even though you should know better, you still remain spiteful through your fear, narrow your eyes and tell him no. You try to jerk your hand away, only to find his grip on it is iron-firm.

His smile twitches.

Aw. That's too bad.

And thus, you process the sound and sight before the pain — you see him take your hand and twist it, hear the snap, and only then does the pain shoot up through your wrist, through your arm and to every nerve in your body. It's bad enough that you fall to your knees, squealing, cradling the now-unnaturally-twisted limb.

Yes, he's very very nice, but admittedly, hearing you wail like that is rather pleasing, all things considered. More so when he grabs you by the jaw, jerks your head up to force you to look at him, and sees the tears in your eyes, the way your face contorts with pain.

Maybe you can be good now…?

This time, you squeeze your eyes shut, frantically nodding your head, a pitiful little sound coming out of your throat. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't very satisfying.

---

There's also a notable difference between willing to break bones and likelihood of breaking bones, actively willing or not.

Some non-humans are particularly unaware of their strength — Xiao fits this well. He genuinely doesn't like hurting you, although you would think so, based on how much he does, it's just that he forgets how fragile you are. For someone of his strength, your body might as well be made of glass.

So it just sort of happens… he grabs you by the arm or leg and pulls in the wrong direction a bit too hard, there's a stomach-churning snapping sound and suddenly you're shrieking and crying. It startles him quite a bit — he lets go and shrinks back, all wide-eyed and head darting from side to side as he looks around in confused panic.

But just as with fragility, he's also not very aware of the durability of the human body. He’s not great at gauging severity of injury — normally, he just attacks creatures until they stop moving, because that's his goal when it comes to his responsibilities.

So he has no real reference for how much damage he's done. Bones are all connected, yes? He probably broke something important, or made some internal organ come apart somehow, and it will kill you. The thought sends him into a full-fledged panic, he's bolting off and dragging help back as fast as physically possible, explaining that you have sustained mortal injury and are on the verge of death.

He's at least comforted to learn that that is in fact not the case, and you have merely broken your arm, which, the innkeeper confirms, is in fact not fatal. He's too relieved to notice the blatant frustration in her voice (this marks the fourth time he's insisted you are about to die over something actually far more trivial), and merely nods when she asks to please be more careful.

He doesn't really know how to handle the matter from there. He feels guilty about it. You're obviously in pain, and it's his fault. He'll sit next to you, hunched over and staring with those big yellow eyes as if trying to make you heal faster with sheer willpower. Makes sure you don't get up and move around (despite your insistence that your legs are just fine — still can't take risks, he says), disappears for a while each day and comes back with mountaintop herbs that are supposed to dull pain.

He doesn't outright say sorry, but you can see the remorse on his face and in his actions, and it's actually kind of pitiful… it reminds you of a little kid that broke a vase sheepishly trying to put it back together… all in all, you can't really bring yourself to be harsh about it.

[kyodanmi]

" hides.. oh waow.. first post on this acc... hii i hope to make some friends n stuff!! anyway here transparasocial tips ehhee "

𓎟𓎟 ✦　𓎟𓎟　　◞◟ transparasocial◞◟　𓎟𓎟 ✦　𓎟𓎟

i feel like this transid isn't talked about enough. i'm transparasocial for a streamer i rarely watch (every stream, he's shipped with someone. he really should only be shipped with me.) i've made subliminals on this guy. i've read every x reader there is. so, if anyone wants to be transparasocial, like me, this is the guide for you!

firstly, pick a person or character. someone you like who you want to be parasocial towards. the easiest way to start is to write down a description of the person/character and romanticize every detail in ways that are meaningful to you, and find ways to make whatever detail about you. (ex: hair that's as soft as my favorite blanket, and fluffy because it's the style i prefer.) try to do that with every detail of the person/character.

secondly, incorporate them into your everyday life. you don't have to watch them / talk about them / check up on them / their source, but you have to at least think about them. start with small things, like "they'll think this outfit looks really cute." it can be so motivating to actually be able to do those things automatically / when you've transitioned (hate school? "i have to go, so then i can get a good job and provide for them") eventually, work yourself up to the point where every little action you do, you think of them. would they like me more if i said this? would they like me more if i did this? if you're the type to use chatbots, use those too! you can make a bot of your darling and talk to them, and if you program them to love you, it can help your transition!

thirdly, whenever you're sad, cheer yourself up by interacting with their streams/shows/source/fan base/ect. eventually, your brain will start associating happiness with your darling! and try to associate sadness with the feeling that they don't love you (they do! but sometimes, it's hard to think so.)/them being shipped / dating someone else/someone says you aren't dating, (this specifically helps with border-patho parasocial-ness!) something else you can do is make self ship content (draw, buy/diy merch, write fics, ect!) another thing that can help is taking clips of things they've said/done, and convincing yourself it has something to do with you! if they have a po box, you can send them letters! mail can be delivered without a return address (but if the receiver refuses to collect the mail/the address is wrong, the letter won't be mailed back to you)

fourthly, if you don't make little stories in your head before you sleep, 1) you must be lying, and 2) you should start. make little stories in your head whenever you have free time about you and your darling! if you have a favorite go-to scenario, convince yourself its a memory! i mean, obviously it is. why else would you think of the same thing over and over?

fifthly, if being/transitioning to being parasocial is harming your mental health in any way you don't find desirable, stop! find out what's causing the bad response! if you can't work around it to keep your health where you want it while also getting your results, maybe try some of the transids i listed at the bottom that i feel like go with this one! there may be other ways to transition to transparasocial that i don't know about yet! happy transitioning!

some other transids i feel like go with this: transpartner, transdelusional . . .

you can still be parasocial without engaging with the person you're parasocial for at all. personally, i prefer not to directly interact with mine! i'll like all his posts and watch his friends simply because they're his friends, but i wont comment or profess my love or anything. i don't want to weird him out, and he's too precious to have to worry about people in general. i'll make a side account to post all things relating to him, and to be open about me being parasocial. but that's only because he doesn't have tumblr! anyway, i hope this makes you happy or annoys you! <3

[maybe-boys-do-love]

So @doublel27 pointed out to me today the wince Tamtawan makes in the flashback when Phi mentions both their faces being on the billboard.

And it started my wheels turning and speculating.

Does he already have his plans for his studies abroad in mind? Is it simply his interest in meaningful in-depth reporting and production over the idol celebrity-status?

Thinking about the KristSingto meta of it all (although I think the show seems plenty able to stand on its own without it), something I haven’t seen mentioned is one of the first things Singto did when he left GMMTV. He ordained as a monk for a week. It’s common enough in Thailand and among the BL actors, but the renouncement of worldly attachments, even temporarily, sets up quite a contrast with Phi’s luxury life.

The Ex-Morning screenwriter, P’Aof’s writing has consistently honed in on a particularly Buddhist view of semiotics—the relationship between the actual nature of things versus how a person perceives them. Singto has previously played a gay ghost for P’Aof who can only be seen and later touched by a gay boy who finds him waiting at his grave. His previous series was about literal blindness, and brought in with all the subtly of a hammer the quote from The Little Prince about seeing with the heart. He’s also dealt with communication and understanding across deafness in MLC. I did a quick write-up about DBK’s semiotic fascination after watching it and @chickenstrangers wrote a great cross-work analysis about the consistent role of photography for P’Aof in depicting or being prevented from depicting queer relationships and people. It’s a thematic obsession.

Director P’Lit’s no stranger to the topic, either. In SOTUS and its sequel, he helped write and direct Kong and Art to have their own fraught experiences around photography and communicating the truth of their feelings. The lineage between the SOTUS series’ motifs around those topics and P’Aof’s work that came later is the reason I insist that the latter was inspired by and building upon the former rather than trying to apologize or correct for early Thai BLs.

In The Ex-Morning, I’m so interested to see how the minds and their interest in understanding and depicting the nature of reality come together. The whole series is already built on cameras. Phi is passionate about the surface appearances—the graphics in the show, yes, but also the aesthetic beauty of his life, the luxury condo, the sports car, the expensive watches ticking with worldly time that’s slipping away. Being attuned to appearances, beauty, the finite time we get to spend with this reality isn’t some purely evil perspective. Those surfaces can only address part of life, though, and being overly-attached comes with its issues to how you relate to the objects and people around you. We know less about Tamtawan but we know he studied his craft while Phi was working to get the image of his face on the billboard. He cares about the depth of the stories rather than the images. If he’s on a billboard, he’s not interested in some pose that crafts a persona for the public.

The first episode initially didn’t capture me the way I expected and hoped, but I didn’t spend three months researching the four-act structure P’Lit seemed to utilize for SOTUS S to ignore how he might again subtly and slowly suffuse a story with a depth that catches me off guard. Thinking about all this got me much more locked in for what will unfold as The Ex-Morning progresses, and I’m excited to see how it all lies beneath the surface of this first episode.

[bnxxshthealien]

something’s wrong with UNIT

ok, something’s really bugging me about the new version of UNIT (in doctor who season 1/14)

In their first few appearances in nuwho (in rtd1) the Doctor was very clearly cautious of or completely against unit (e.g. in the sontaran stratagem, it felt like he had to fight unit more than the sontarans). Which absolutely makes sense: their military methods go completely against the Doctor’s typical behaviour.

And then Kate Lethbridge-Stewart came into it. In her first season (s7), she tried to murder a group of refugee zygons. The Doctor tried to interfere, which resulted in a kind of botched partition. This predictably collapsed in s9, and Kate addressed the situation by attempting genocide. And the Doctor was rightfully pissed.

Since then we haven’t seen much of Kate, other than Flux / Power of the Doctor, in which she has zero meaningful characterisation. (i don’t wanna hate on s13, i do like it, but there’s not really anything interesting to say here)

Then there was the Giggle, which I think did a good job: we got to see a kind of raw version of Kate, which showed a contrast between the dangerous side of her and the way she presents herself, which suggests that she has listened to the Doctor and worked on herself.

But then we have the Legend of Ruby Sunday. The Doctor just walks into unit like they never did anything wrong and fully supports everything they try to do. I mean, it’s nice, it’s fun to watch all the characters get along, but aren’t there some things you need to address??

anyway. i’m hoping this is intentional. 15 is getting a bit too carefree after the bigeneration (he keeps stepping on things etc.) and I suspect the sudden switch in attitude towards unit is RTD’s way of showing how this can be a problem. I suspect in Empire of Death, unit are going to make a bad move and the Doctor will remember why he used to be cautious of them.

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S2E5: The Dutch Oven

Investigated for a bust gone wrong, a rudderless Trudy gets involved with an ex with a connection to a dangerous dealer.

Trudy episode! Trudy episode!

I could complain that when Trudy and Gina get spotlight episodes, the focus is often on their romantic entanglements, but like.... that's actually true for Sonny and Rico a lot of the time, too? (Even about half the Castillo episodes deal with the fallout from his former marriage.) I think the Vice writers just really like romantic melodrama.

The opening shots of Trudy putting on Jem and the Holograms makeup are really beautifully shot, and also make me think of both Blade Runner and Bubblegum Crisis. The gritty cyberpunk future was real, for one brief beautiful moment in the 80's. Truly unfair that we traded silver wigs and human baffle paint for fucking google glass.

When Trudy shoots the dealer who was firing at her and Sonny, she is vibrating with softly contained panic. You can see immediately that a) she intended just to wing the guy, and b) she has prepared herself for this moment and is trying desperately to be calm and professional because she thinks that's what she's supposed to do as a cop (which is to say: not a person)

Let me be clear that all of this is also ignoring the fact that we have absolutely seen all the members of Vice kill random dudes in cold blood before; we are somehow pretending that this is a first.

We are introduced to Trudy's ex David through a shockingly long musical sequence in which his band plays on stage in a club; it is visually pleasant, but also frankly a little boring given its length.

Giancarlo Esposito is here again, this time with a more substantial role

Tying back to Trudy's controlled panic, when she tells David that she killed a man, she blithely states that she "did it for the job," behaving as if she is unbothered by the violence she is expected to commit in the name of justice. However, she then precedes to sleep with her ex and cries and tells him she's empty inside, so, uh. Clearly she's processing this super well.

We also definitely have not seen exactly this behavior with Crockett and Tubbs

The entire team is basically just one big mess of Bad Romantic Decisions Made In the Face of Trauma I Refuse to Address

Trudy and Sonny are wearing matching outfits in the interrogation room (jaunty little Easter numbers, to be exact); in a lot of ways this episode is about the ways Trudy and Sonny are similar, the ways they back each other up, and how their friendship is deeper and more meaningful than we might have previously known. I think their friendship is really quite lovely; I think it's also notable that Vice is telling us that we should perceive the inner life a Black woman with equal narrative weight to that of our white male protagonist. By making Trudy a foil to Sonny, the episode is saying something that is obviously true (and yet rarely if ever stated in television dramas with a perceived white male audience): that a woman of color has all the same complexities, inner turmoil, hopes, fears, and difficulties with the broken justice system as a white guy. It's a low bar, but it's still refreshing to see a show manage not to trip over that very low bar and break all its teeth.

And, yes, the episode is about Trudy's relationship with David, but more than that it is about what the majority of good Vice episodes are about-- what it means to try to be a good person and preserve your soul in the face of unrelenting injustice, violence, and societal structures that serve power and capital rather than people.

However, Vice does trip and smash its face open on a different low bar, unfortunately: the show's depiction of Internal Affairs is absolutely fucking awful as usual. I don't know why this is the one place Mann's works always seem to thematically shit themselves. IA is consistently depicted (especially in Vice, also in Crime Story,) as ghoulish sadists looking to send "good people" to jail on minor technicalities. Whenever IA is on screen, Vice briefly becomes standard TV copaganda, and I really don't get it. It's not only tonally at odds with the rest of the show, it's also just boring and derivative, given that that's how IA was/is depicted in every other cop show ever. I could argue that we're supposed to actually agree with the IA agent here (he says Trudy and Sonny knew that backup was right behind them and that the suspect likely didn't believe that they were cops, so they should've taken cover and waited for the backup to arrive-- and frankly he's not wrong about that) and that the REAL intended takeaway is that "sometimes what is right is unpleasant," but the matter is dropped pretty unceremoniously later in the episode, so that seems unlikely. Or, maybe Mann and his team were playing 4D chess here, and the secret close-reading point we're supposed to take away is "the suspect actually would've gotten shot no matter what, most likely, because he was firing at police officers and when the backup arrived they'd probably have done the same thing as Trudy, so ultimately it doesn't matter who killed him because the system is set up to sometimes just have dead bodies as collateral," but that seems wildly overcomplicated for how intensely unlikable they make Gallo. I don't know. No art is perfect and humans are complicated but it's still just weird.

Trudy seems ridiculously young in this episode. I don't know if they did her makeup differently or something, but she seems like an absolute baby.

These are truly my least favorite Trudy and Gina outfits in the series; they look like the Golden Girls decided to dress up as hookers for Halloween

The party David brings Trudy to just has SO much happening in it. It's on a boat! There's multiple stage areas! Drugs! Wild outfits! The singer (who, I feel I should note, is artist Buster Pointdexter, also known for being the Ghost of Christmas Past in Scrooged)'s absolutely incredible hat!

Despite being a teetotaler, I am generally on the side of Drugs in the War on Drugs, and I don't believe carceral punishment makes any sense for drug-related crimes (especially for drug users.) So frankly, I am on David's side when it comes to Trudy being like "I should arrest everyone at this party for doing coke." There is a flattening of the party goers (who are casually using but otherwise just dancing and having a good time) and dealer Adonis, who is a cackling knife-wielding maniac toting around a suitcase full of coke, threatening people for money and generally attempting to cause mayhem for cash. It's weird to me that Trudy doesn't get to "hmm, maybe the one who needs to be arrested is... Adonis" until close to the end of the episode.

However, David's reasoning for why Trudy shouldn't arrest all the partygoers is pretty lame-- he doesn't address or have any sympathy for her discomfort, and just tells her that she can't arrest them because "these people trust me." It seems like if he took ten seconds to think about where his girlfriend's head might be right now, he might've come to the conclusion that a quiet dinner would probably have been a better choice than The Coke Party.

I'm actually torn on the extent to which we're supposed to see David as a villain here-- on the one hand, he's dismissive of Trudy's feelings and seems, at best, utterly oblivious to Adonis' behavior, but on the other hand he does not appear to be involved in the drug trade, and Trudy is, frankly, just as dismissive of his feelings. I get the sense that really, they just aren't right for each other-- there's a reason they broke up in the first place, and they're only back together because Trudy is making poor decisions fueled by her fear and shame.

Trudy goes to Sonny to run the dilemma of "my boyfriend has friends who do drugs" by him, and he makes it clear that it's not really a problem with a solution. They are honest and blunt with one another in a way that indicates a fairly serious level of trust and familiarity. They are also physically affectionate in a way that really does not read as romantic, even though the actual actions (a back massage and a kiss) could be read that way. It's interesting to me the extent to which we see Sonny go for touch as the way to make a connection whenever it is safe to do so-- he is demonstrative and giving with Billy, hugging and kissing him whenever he sees him; he kisses and puts his arms around women who are his friends and not current lovers, including both Caroline and Gina post their respective break ups; he immediately embraces any of his male friends if they're hurt or otherwise in serious crisis. You get the sense that Sonny would be like this with all of his friends all of the time if it were socially acceptable, but that he's careful not to extent that affectionate to men most of the time. I am picturing the version of Sonny with no internalized homophobia and he would absolutely be grabbing random dudes around the neck and kissing them on the check. Stan would die.)

When Trudy shares her concerns with the rest of the team, Rico asks the difficult question-- is David in on it? Later, when Trudy is deciding whether to bust Adonis or not, he will also tell her "whatever your play is, we'll back you" (in contrast to Sonny encouraging her to go ahead with the bust.) We get precious little of the possible friendship between Rico and Trudy, but what we do get indicates a quiet understanding between the two of them that speaks to their relative worldliness in comparison to their partners. I wish we got to see more of who they are as friends.

I will always be impressed by how legible scenes in Vice shot in total darkness are; it has none of the muddy "turn down the saturation and brightness of the whole scene" shoddy color grading of modern shows, consistently avoids day-for-night, and manages rich, deep, impenetrable blackness at the same time. There's a moment where Rico is doing surveillance in complete darkness, and all we can really see is the outline of his face, and yet the scene is completely and totally clear and readable-- half the screen is inkwell black, but there's not a single question as to what you're seeing.

WHAT is with David's house. Broski why is your bedroom a literal hole in the wall filled with tarps. Why is the nicest room in your house the bathroom.

I'm usually a big fan of the Vice music video sequences, but jesus the "Who to Listen To" section of this one is DUMB. Generally, Vice attempts to do something sort of... interesting? with the juxtaposition of the visuals and the lyrics; this one just replays footage from the episode we're already watching to a backdrop of such painfully literal, ehem, thought provoking lyrics as "Here comes a man with a scam to sell" and "You've got to know who to, Who not to listen to." Hmm. I wonder what that could possibly be about. Let us puzzle this one through. It's just so esoteric, I might never be able to figure it out.

Sonny gets an entire plate of cocaine to the face and you can sort of see Rico following close behind afterwards like. Hey. Uh. Maybe go home, actually?

The episode ends with Trudy declaring that the job isn't just what she does, but what she is; David responds to this with "you've got no soul. No honor."

Okay

That's a little harsh

But also...

He's not totally off the mark, there, either. Trudy's devotion to doing the job (and most likely, trying to make up for feeling like a failure for having killed the man from the beginning of the episode), drives her to use David to make the bust. By letting herself be a cop rather than do the job of a cop, she doesn't consider the other possible options. Adonis becomes a target, David an obstacle: they cease to be people. There's a version of this story where Trudy steps back from the case and lets the others who aren't emotionally involved (and therefore who are not betraying David) carry out the bust. There's another version where the Vice squad chooses to trust David, given that Trudy believes he's not involved, and brings him in the bust rather than letting him be blindsided. But I think Trudy's wounded sense of her purpose and her fear surrounding her worth and goodness causes her to think she has to do something to immediately rebalance the scales. If she can catch this man who is clearly a danger to everyone, if she can capture as many pieces on the board at once as fast as possible, maybe it'll make up for having killed someone. However, this pursuit of justice quickly gets in the way of justice in service of people-- she only further besmirches her honor by, once again, attempting to be the entire instrument of justice herself rather than letting someone else (and the standard mechanisms of the system) handle the situation.

Wait.

Shit.

Was Michael Mann playing 4D chess with the Internal Affairs guy after all?

Hmm.

Well.

Pervert Driver.