#i hope in the future i can be more specific but again i sadly don't have much knowledge on Halsin

[secondhandnesting]

OMEGA HALSIN. Thoughts please

oo okay okay. Preface that I am barely into the game. 23ish hours and I could start Act 2 I think, but I haven't finished everything in Act 1 yet (edit: this has been in my drafts so long that i am now further into the game, almost 90 hours across a couple different playthroughs. I still don't know him as well as I would like) That being said, I don't know much about the characters other than the little I've seen in the game, some of the fanon stuff, and some wiki readings. I've also not fully figured out my general 'verse yet, so it's a little wobbly lol. I'm also trying not to get too into everything, becuase I do want to make an individual post about the dynamics.

For starters, he seems very family-oriented. From everything I've seen, he seems to want a family (even if it's in a non-traditional sense). I usually associate family stuff like that with Alphas and Omegas. Not that Betas can't want a family/be family-oriented, but I think it's usually more associated with the other two. (I will try to make a post on this on it's own at some point)

Okay, so as mentioned in this post ;), Halsin is playful. I see this as more of an Omega trait than anything else. Omegas can/will often act as a sort of court jester/comedic relief sort of role within their pack. They want everyone to get along (or be able to stand each other as well as they can) and be happy. It isn't that Alphas and Betas can't be playful and silly, but the behavior is seen far more in Omegas. One of their ultimate desires in their life is to have connection and a sense of belonging, and self-preservation (bit of a misnomer, as this sp can extend to important things like packmates, nests, etc). Omegas can act as the court jester. Mentioned here, "He must suffer terrible abuse at the hands of the king and court, but he is undeniably loved. Like a jester, the omega is often the one to instigate play and act the fool." Now, I don't necessarily agree with the abuse and mistreatment, but the rest is true. (I go a bit more into the "self-preservation" in this post).

It's also a case of me not really seeing him as the other types? I would say (again I have limited knowledge) that the position of power he has as the archdruid is very much... a performance? As he says (at some point and in better words), he took the job because it needed to be done, and people who seek such a position of power are generally people you should keep an eye on. I can see some Beta in him, but I feel like all the Alpha that's present is simply because it needs to be; he had to step up to the plate, so to speak, and part of that involves Alpha-like duties. In the post I linked most recently (my own post), I mention how I see Omegas as the ones most likely to sort of change roles as needed. I see a lot of people put that on Betas, but I think that generally comes from a "beta is the default/other option" view. Which is fine if that's what people want for their own verses, but I want my betas to be just as much beta as the alphas are alpha and the omegas are omega. Since Omegas (in my eyes) are generally more about "preserving the peace" or, more selfishly, ensuring they have a place to belong, I see them as more likely to do what they deem necessary to keep things together.

[sweetpondduckling]

The next arcane-related/LoL shows i would love to see, why, and ranked in the order of which I think are most likely to get made

Because why not

Mel as Noxus leader: She was raised in this culture but it is also radically different than the one she's lived in for about a decade. I would love to see her getting harsher to be able to rule and also find room for mercy and peace where ever she can. Also she needs to fight the Black Rose and it would be amazing to see how she deals with the complicated emotions and sorrows that comes with her mom's death and the role both she and the Black Rose played in that. This seems like the most likely show to happen (it was basically confirmed when we saw she went home and I'd be pretty disappointed if we never got to see what happened after)

CaitVi meeting Jinx again: they leave piltover to fight battles in other distant lands (I know nothing of LoL lore btw) and find jinx living a better life. If this was my show to write, years would have passed at this point, and both jinx and Vi are doing great. Piltover is Vi's home and her and cait are stronger together than ever. Jinx has settled in a new town and isn't causing trouble. This would force Vi to realise that she can't do anything but let jinx go for real (by choice) and trust that she will be okay, even if it is difficult. She can't bring jinx home because piltover isn't jinx's home anymore, and she can't leave piltover behind since that's where her whole life is. They could bond and promise to meet again, but in the end vi would have to choose her own happiness and leave jinx where she can't protect her. I'm not sure how likely this is to happen. I don't think we've seen the last of vi or Jinx, but not sure if they will have separate stories or if this is anywhere near how it would go (probably not)

JayVic starting a new life: don't have many ideas for anything specific, just that they might have survived and teleported to somewhere else. The arcane would have left them, and the story could be about grief and love as Victor might have his disease again, and both of them have lost so much. But if they have a community where they are, then it could also be about the importance of external support and help. For the sake of action ofc, the science bros would have to save people from some great threat and preserve their new lives. Unlikely to happen imo. It felt to me like the show considers them dead even if they could have survived. But one can hope.

Ambessa origin story: personally what I want the most, but probably the least likely to happen. How did Ambessa come to power? who did she fight? how did she become who she was in the show. I wanna see War and fighting and death. Sadly, it's not going to happen. "Blood sweat and tears" was basically an origin story speedrun. But ambessa is my favourite character (maybe, im pretty indecisive), and I will always want to see more of her.

Bonus idea: basically a slightly more possible version of the above one, but mixed with Mel's story. One where we focus mainly on Mel ruling noxus and fighting the Rose but where we also get flashback scenes (or even whole episodes!) that focus on Ambessa. The scenes (or episodes) could be triggered by Mel having to make a choice that her mom also had to make once or through her learning a secret about her mom, and then we learn the context through flashbacks. It's not impossible that a future show could do that... Please... I need more Ambessa

[marshallpupfan]

Well...

I learned some PAW Patrol news today that, I must admit, has left me rather disappointed. Don't worry, this isn't a rant or anything. I just wanted to talk a bit about it.

If you were to ask me who my favorite PAW Patrol character is, my answer is obviously Marshall. As for my second-favorite? It's not one of the other main pups or any of the part timers. That's not to say none of them are on my favorites list though, as Chase, Rocky and Everest are in my top ten, just to name a few.

No, my second-favorite PAW Patrol character is... Claw!

Seriously, I just love this doberman. In fact, I became a fan before even getting to see him in action in the cartoon. The moment he first popped up in a leaked Rescue Knights image, I quickly fell in love with his design, especially his awesome-looking armor. That, and he was flying around on a huge dragon, which... come on, that's cool. And when I finally got my chance to watch him in an episode? In my opinion, he did not disappoint. For me, he's not only one of the most memorable aspects of Rescue Knights, but of season 8, period.

Naturally, once the subseries came to an end, I kept hoping that, someday, we'd return to it and see him again. Or, if anything, he'd pull a Sid and Arrby and appear in some regular episodes. Sadly, two and a half seasons have gone by since then, and both he and Rescue Knights have been a no show. Despite that, I held on to the hope that he'd eventually pop up in the cartoon again.

Regrettably, I might have to let go of that hope.

(Source)

Some of you might doubt this information, but Tybsy has provided many accurate leaks and insider info in the past, and he continues to do so. I've learned to trust his words.

It seems that, for some reason, the writers have been told to avoid pitching ideas for episodes based around Rescue Knights. Worse yet, they were told to do the same with Dino Rescue. Not only does this mean there's a slim chance of seeing Claw again, but possibly even Rex, too... another pup who I'd love to see more in the cartoon.

Now, there's a possible reason for them to do this with Rex and Dino Rescue. Given that a few sites have already started listing the third film with the name "The Dino Movie", it's possible it will indeed be quite similar, at least in some way, to Dino Rescue. It may even involve Rex! Currently, we still don't know for sure, but there have been some hints here and there that suggest he might be involved.

EDIT - I forgot there was another leak some time ago involving some file that relates to the third movie, and the metadata specifically mentioned Rex. There's a very, very good chance he'll be in the movie!

And although Tyby jokes, it is possible, however unlikely, that they do want to avoid creating continuity errors with what we've already seen with Dino Rescue. Just look at the errors we got with The Mighty Movie and the season 10 Mighty Pups episodes, most of which still confuse viewers to this day. If I were running things, I'd absolutely tell the team to make sure that DOES NOT happen again...

Rescue Knights, on the other hand? I see no logical reason to avoid it. I have my doubts that Claw or his dragon will appear in a theatrical film, especially before certain other characters (not impossible, but I wouldn't bet money on it), and I'm going to assume we'll never see him in Rubble & Crew or the two Youtube spinoffs, so... what gives? To make matters worse, now that the main TV series has switched to a new style, they'll have to modify or remake Claw's model to match the new designs, and I can't see that being a high priority. Again, not impossible... but it certainly doesn't help his odds.

My hope of seeing Claw again isn't 100% dead or anything, but I can't help but feel pessimistic about his chances. To think, all this time, it never happened because Rescue Knights has been restricted from appearing in future episodes. That's so disappointing, you know? I can only hope that they do indeed have something special planned someday for Claw, or they'll finally lift that restriction on his subseries... but truth be told, I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Well, here's to you, Claw. Even if we don't see you again, you'll always remain my favorite (ex) knight of Barkingburg! Still, here's hoping that we do get to see you again... someday.

[el-bellanaris]

I was thinking a lot about Elgar'nan and how underutilised he is within the scope of the game. I understand a part of it is to show us how the blight is damaging him, like with how he cannot speak in Elvhen anymore, but he also has such a unique presence as a villain that could have utilised more in the specific climate of Thedas.

The biggest religion in Thedas is the Chantry which teaches the main belief that the Maker, their god, has turned his back on the mortals and sent the blight and the darkspawn as a punishment for their sin of daring to approach heaven - the Black City. Elgar'nan also obviously plays a part in both the Dalish religion being the father of their gods and a major important religious figure for them that Fen'Harel had locked away.

Elgar'nan could have easily weaponised both religions here to build himself an army beyond just organisations that are already just standard bad guys. First is the obvious choice, droves of elves would have flocked to his side in hope of some better kind of life for themselves. To have some kind of powerful representative that can grant them freedom and hope in a quicker manner. And he could use the Dalish stories directly against Solas, he could tell the world that Fen'Harel ha returned and here to take him again back into the prison so the Dread Wolf can get the last laugh once again. So many elves would believe that its a sign of the end and go to Elgar'nan's side to ensure they don't lose their gods once again.

Now the second and more interesting aspect would be how he could easily incite a huge divide inside the chantry. The Maker has turned his back on the people, the chantry sing songs to worship him but the blight comes back. What hope do some of these people have when a 3rd biblical event of war happen in a span of 20 years with two of them being blights. Elgar'nan, if given the chance to actually spend some time in this world to understand what advantages he could use, could easily see the gap in the world he could fill. Rather then proudly using his and Ghila'nain's archdemon directly under his orders, he could easily manipulate them to spread the blight and pretend to fight back against them. Put up a guise that he, the god of the elves, is here to free the world from their "sin" and fight back against the arch demons and the blight. That in a world where their god has turned his back on him, Elgar'nan would not and actively bring them into a future that is better and protected by a God who actually cares. This wouldn't change the mind of every single devout believer but it would change the tides for some, not only creating an army of believers for him from elves but from anyone whose faith has been shaken due to previous events and as a result want some kind of certainty.

Both of these ideas could be really interesting to be shown to play out in both Rook's. Rook is supposed to mirror Solas as Fen'Harel but I believe the game doesn't go as deeply into it as I would I have liked as a major, I think missed and sadly ignored, concept of Fen'Harel is that he is a misunderstanding of history. That the Dalish took paintings and what little text they could find about what happened to the ancient elves to conclude that yes Fen'Harel locked away the gods, but that he did it out of malice. When in reality he did it out of protection for his people and revenge for Mythal. If Solas didn't lock them away I would not be surpised if given no challenge, as in the humans never arrived to Thedas, that Elgar'nan would have cannabalised the entire empire leaving it in complete ruin because of his greed. Back to the actual game we're supposed to see some parallels between Solas and Rook, although they are incredibly shallow compared to him and the Inquisitor. So what would have been more interesting would be showing Elgar'nan weaponising Rook's title agaisnt them like the Dalish unfortunately did with Solas and Fen'Harel. Have Rook become synomous for evil, make Rook the next Fen'Harel, the next dreaded evil that dares to mess up the world and have the last laugh. As a result you get this beautiful parallel between Rook and the Inquisitor with Solas. One becomes the misinformed legend of evil and one is the symbol of hope that fought against evil.

In terms of the gameplay this would create a pretty unique struggle for Rook, they have to live through the discussions and weight of their life as an evil villain when they're trying to help. If you have the turn of the world starting to hate and see Rook as an outlaw happen at the end of act one, you get this really fun twist where everything that is fun and excited becomes necessary for survival. The eluvians stop being whimsical devices they become necessary as a protective measure, building a rapport with the factions means more because Rook is unable to build an army elsewhere and provides the world with more people to challenge the idea the Rook is just evil. That by doing good deads, word can spread that maybe actually the gods aren't telling us the whole truth.

This plot point would also make some of Rook's decisions have more weight throughout the main story. Helping the Grey Wardens shows the literal army that exist to fight the blight that Rook is actually helping and gives more weight to wardens not actively siding with the "gods" who will end the blight. Saving the Dalish elves can be about Rook mirroring Fen'Harel by freeing those who have realised that Elgar'nan isn't actually here to help and wants to use them as slaves for his new empire. Killing the archdemons becomes not only a way to make the gods mortal, but shows the world that Rook is actually here to get business done unlike Elgar'nan. And then killing Elgar'nan actually has the weight of killing a god by first stripping away his power over the people first and then taking his life second. He becomes a mortal in the physical and theological sense so his death is meaningless, how fitting and belittling for a god that he will die insignificant and at the hands of someone who Elgar'nan raised from a nobody out of a crowd and gave Rook the stage to rise to power.

And how fitting would the ending be where everyone talks about Rook but nobody knows who they are, they become an everyman. An idea like Fen'harel and the Inquisitor but just of some person who rose us to do what's right. Rook who in some stories is a veiljumper or in some a mourn watcher. This leaves them changing history but never having to tie themselves to fables that may misinterpret them like the dread wolf.

[jpitha]

Between The Black and Gray 12

First / Previous / Next

... and Fen was laying on something.

Her back felt something warm and moist, but also scratchy. She opened her eyes and the ceiling was impossibly blue. There seemed to only be one incredibly bright point of light overhead as well.

Fen sat up and looked around. Everything was... green. The ground was covered in green plants, there were tall plants in the distance. Trees, she realized with a start. She swiveled her head around wildly. She was outside. Growing up aboard a space station, being planetside was an odd, and slightly worrying feeling. She was used to the comfort of walls and ceiling. Here it was just open.

Fen jumped up off the floor... the ground. The light overhead... the sun was warm on her back and the air smelled... fresh. It was the only way she could describe it. It smelled nothing like Station. As she was looking around, in the distance, she saw a K'laxi running towards her. It looked like...

"Ma!" Fen took off running towards her, tears streaming from her eyes. Both from the wind and her sudden flood of emotions. They crashed into each other and she picked Ma-ren up and spun her around wildly. "How can you be here? I saw you...you"

She nodded and put her finger to her lips. Fen put her down gently onto the grass and she wrapped her arms and tail around Fen tightly. They hugged a long time.

Ma-ren looked up and beckoned Fen the bend down. She did and Ma-ren whispered in her ear. "You're dead too."

Something between a moan and a cry escaped her lips when the wormhole link ended. Fen was sitting in one of the chairs on the command deck, tears streaming freely. Gord was staring at her. "Spy, looks like it happens to her too."

"Really? I was hoping it wouldn't I hear it's not plesant."

Gord shrugged. "Some people like it, but yeah, more often than not it's a curse."

"What happened?" Fen looked around and wiped her tears with her sleeve. The chair was hot and her skin stuck to the cloth in a way that was both familiar and depressing. "I have to go back! Ma-ren was there!"

"Oh no" Gord shook his head sadly. "And this soon too? I'm sorry Fen."

"What? What? What happened? Where was I?"

"Okay. So this one is a little strange, but I assume at this point you're getting used to strange." Gord got up from the command chair and sat in the chair next to Fen. "For about one in one hundred humans, when you traverse a wormhole link, something happens. For centuries humanity's best and brightest tried to figure out what was happening, what was going on what they were seeing." Gord sighed. "As near as anyone is able to figure out, one in one hundred people die when you traverse a wormhole. But, they only die for as long as it takes to traverse. When the ship exits the other side, you come back."

"I... died?" Fen stares straight ahead, looking at nothing. "I was... outside I think. Planetside. I had never been on the surface of a planet before. It was so blue and so green."

"Earth probably. That's the only planet I know of that humanity settled on that could be described so succinctly." Gord smiled sadly. "But yeah, whether or not you really died, or if it is a hallucination or whatever, nobody really knows. "

Fen turned and locked eyes with Gord. "And it'll happen every time we use the wormhole generator?"

Gord nodded. "Every time we use our specific wormhole generator yes. If we use the Gates, or FlashWarp or even a Flip Drive it doesn't happen. But our trusty old wormhole generators? Yup."

Fen sighed. She took a deep breath with her eyes closed, and let it out through her nose. "Okay." She chuckled. "Okay! Let's do this!"

Gord leaned back, surprised. "You're really all right?"

Fen laughed. "I am Gord. You know why? I can see Ma-ren again. I don't even have to die permanently. Every time we link, I can see her again, even if it's just for a moment. It's like... anticipation of the future when we're finally together forever. I'll take that. It's more than what I thought I was going to have just a few hours ago."

Gord smiled. "Lots of people I knew who died when we linked saw loved ones. Most of them were granted peace by it. A few were haunted. I don't think I ever saw anyone who was energized by it." He shook his head. "Thousands of years, and you still manage to surprise me." He looked up. "See Spy? This is why I hang around. This is why I'm still here after all this time."

"You mean to tell me it's not because nobody else will have you?" Spyglass laughed.

Gord crossed his arms and frowned, but his eyes smiled. "It can be two things." He got up and walked back to the command chair. "Spy where are we now?"

"We're on approach to Habilamen. I've reached out on the frequencies that you've recommended; they've contacted me and are granting us 'provisional' permission to dock and seek repairs."

Gord stood. "Well, it'll be boring to just sit here and wait. Come on Fen."

Fen stood. "Come on and do what?"

Gord raised an eyebrow. "If you're going to be able to go back to that Gren station, you're going to have to know how to work a battle rifle right? Come on then. I printed a couple out and some practice rounds. I'll teach you how to shoot."

Even though Fen grew up on a Gren Station her whole life, and was used to things being large, she was still taken aback at how large Spyglass was. Maybe it was because it was just the two of them and Spyglass, maybe it was because she had never really been on a starship before, she wasn't sure. But, when Glen led her down the ship and opened a door to a cargo bay that was easily larger than the entire forty third floor she gasped.

"I keep forgetting you never really went into space." Gord grinned. "It's fun to be around someone who is still surprised by things that I'm used to. Set up near the door to the cargo bay was a table with two battle rifles, extra magazines and further downrange a set of targets. Gord approached one. "Okay, so-"

The training continued on for the rest of the day. Fen learned about proper safe handling, loading and unloading, cleaning, maintaining and sighting even before she fired her first shot. Gord didn't mention it, but he was impressed. Fen took to it like a natural. By the second day she was hitting the target. By the third, she was gaining accuracy. By the time they reached Habilamen she was entirely competent.

Habilamen was an Innari station, one of the manganese breathers. It is a large and wide galaxy, and oxygen is far from the only power source that sapient life uses. The Innari have nearly no bones at all and their skeleton structure is a cartilage-like substance. Fen had never heard of them before, and Glen spent the last few hours before docking explaining protocol. They would have to wear suits while aboard Habilamen. "Let me do the talking." Gord said as they were suiting up. Spyglass had some positively ancient suits in a bay near the airlock. Gord made a face when he saw them, but they passed all the checks and he declared them 'good enough' for visiting the Innari.

"Back during first contact, the Innari were so afraid of humans, that people would go aboard their stations with their helmets completely opaque and would project icons onto the helmet with a cartoon of their face. We don't have to do that anymore, but don't expect a warm welcome." Gord reached behind Fen and fiddled with her suit. She felt some fans and the circulation improved.

"Why are they afraid of us?" Fen checked her seals like Gord showed her. All green.

Gord chuckled. "They said it was because humans kind of look like a predator from their deep past, but I'm not so sure. I think it might be more than a little good old fashioned xenophobia. They thought oxygen breathing life was super rare in the galaxy until they met us. We introduced them to the other peoples around us who also breath oxy, and I think it shattered their worldview a little." Gord sealed his helmet and toggled the suit-to-suit radio. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, you're clear."

"Good. Okay, let's go say hi. Remember, just follow my lead, do the gesture of welcome like I taught you, and let me do the talking." Gord stepped into the airlock.

Fen followed and the door shut behind them. Spyglass was careful to evacuate all of their breathing gas before opening the outer door to the docking umbilical. After a moment, the light turned green, the door opened and she followed Gord out.

Immediately, Fen noticed the air. Her eyes, evolved to see through an oxygen atmosphere as they were noticed that everything had a grey cast, bordering on black and white. The overhead lights were about the same brightness as on the Gren station, but much redder. It made everything look like a dusky twilight. She fought an urge to turn on her suits flashlight.

They exited the umbilical to no fanfare whatsoever. There was a sign in their slashed and dotted script. Spyglass was handing translation duty, and it overlaid the translation in her vision. It told them to turn to the right to head to immigration

While they walked, Fen looked around. She saw many of the boneless Innari, going about their day. They seemed to slide along the floor, their... legs moving in a way that it was difficult to tell where one ended and another began. There were other people around as well, some with two legs like Fen, and others that she could not describe without sounding insensitive. Other than the air and the people and the distance, the feeling, the ambiance, the vibe was very much like the station she grew up on.

They got into a line, and eventually reached the immigration officer. Gord stood tall and made the Gesture of Welcome. He put both of his hands together, and rubbed his palms together and then pulled his hands apart quickly. Fen did her best to copy the gesture, but it was unfamiliar, awkward.

The immigration officer was unimpressed. "Origin?" Once again, Spyglass was translating for them.

"Gren Station 52589"

"Purpose of visit?"

"Starship repair and refitting."

The immigration officer paused at that, and looked down at his pad. "Trade goods or currency?"

"Both actually."

Spyglass whispered to Fen that he was giving an expression that made him look dubious. He made a noise that Spy said was like a sigh and continued.

"No weapons aboard, keep to the common areas, sleep aboard your ship and you may stay for a tenday. One extension allowed with permission. Is this acceptable?"

Gord nodded. "Yes, we accept those terms."

The Innari touched his pad and two stickers appeared in a slot. "Apply these to your suit. They're your visas."

Gord and Fen took their stickers and applied them, and they were gently but firmly, ushered away.

They left Immigration and stepped out onto the promenade. "Come on Fen, let's go."

[breakingsanity-aruani]

Hello Breaky, I hope you are well, not trying to collect any significant plot spoilers but in your fic, Are we gonna see tiny Armin with regular size Mikasa, I think that would be so cute, big sister mikasa in a situation where her baby brother fits in the palm of her hand, she would be so protective of him. I find the thought adorable

Omg hii, Mercutio!! I hope your holiday was good ^^ Thank you sm for the askie!!

Ooooooh, this actually is not the first time i've been asked this, hehe. Don't worry, no spoilers here! Though I must say, when it comes to The Difference Between Us, there will be no such thing, just to make it clear. As there is no current technology to reverse it, so... such a thing will not be here sadly.

Buuuuuuuuut.... as for my other fics? Hehe... well, without spoiling details, I can say ABSOLUTELY SO!!! tiny Armin with regular size Mikasa is TOTALLY gonna happen xD. How could I NOT have that happen??? Regardless if you ship them romantically (AruMika is another ship I ADORE) or as platonic besties, I can say I will have writing where this dynamic will take place. I agree too, it would be sooooo cutesy! Indeed, BIG sister Mikasa in a situation where she needs to protect her tiny bestie Armin??? THE CUTENESS??? If you think Annie would be protective of Armin at such a miniature size, then Mikasa is somehow even more so I believe...

This is because that Annie is more willing to allow Armin to do things on his own, whereas I believe Mikasa is overbearingly protective in a way. Again, I do not want to spoil things for my future fics but... I can say that in my upcoming canon-divergence AU, Saving You, you can expect to see thing kind of interaction in one of several 'bonus chapters' I have planned for that story. Then, in my other fic which as of now I only call "the sci fi fic" as I don't have a title yet... well, it too will have such an interaction with tiny Armin and normal sized Mikasa... I don't want to give many details here but if you are curious for more, I am happily to do so! ^^

But YES! I think tiny Armin being protected by a regular sized Mikasa is just SOOOOO cute!!! AGH! Thank you again for the ask! Again, if you want to know more specifics, then you always welcome to ask! I did not want to list any here in case of unwanted spoilers... heh.

[theroseceleste]

Mafia Miguel - Part 7

Buy me a coffee! (And gain access to my discord)

You can find previous chapters below.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Contains : Female reader, mentions of being restrained, injections, suffering of pain, murder, cardiac arrest and CPR.

Word count - 4038

Hope you enjoy chapter 7!

Don't forget after this chapter I'll post up a choice so you can choose which direction it will go. Be sure to follow and check for future posts!

----------

The giant science facility resembles something like a ghost town at night. All workers and lab technicians have clocked off and gone home. Labs are dark and deserted.

Miguel has no clue what time it is, but he suspects it’s the early hours of the morning.

He’s led through the building while his hands are still tied behind his back and his mouth still gagged. Dark, glaring eyes trained on the large man in front, leading the way. He clearly has somewhere very specific in mind.

One of the large man’s employees joins the small group of men walking down a corridor towards a lift. He carries a small metal case. Miguel eyes it suspiciously.

“Your wife was a very intelligent woman,” Kingpin says as he presses a button to call the elevator.

The sound of the lift mechanics whir into action behind the double metal sliding doors.

All Miguel can do is watch, scowling at Kingpin as he waits for the elevator to arrive.

Occasionally, his wrists tugs at his restraints, testing their strength. He longed to have the gag removed from his mouth. It is uncomfortable to say the least, feeling the dry cloth between his jaws.

A ding indicates the lift has arrived and the doors slide open, allowing the group to enter.

Kingpin looks like he is revelling in this exercise of gradually riling Miguel up. He takes a breath before speaking again.

“Her knowledge about spiders was extensive. Perfect for the job really,” he pauses as his captive wriggles aggressively.

The smug looking man seems to have touched a nerve.

“Such a shame she got too righteous about the nature of the project. She should have known you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs…”

A now livid Miguel struggles against his restraints once again, more violently this time as the lift climbs up the building. As he pulls, he notices that his bonds feel like they’re getting weaker.

Kingpin watches with glee as his captive is pulled away from him. The angry lion doesn’t look quite so scary, tied up and gagged. He continues taunting Miguel, pushing in the dagger further, giving it a cruel sharp twist.

“I can show you where she worked, if you like? I bet you were so proud of her, working for a major corporation like Alchemax. And a leading scientist in her field too!”

His voice is in a mocking tone which pissed Miguel off even more.

“Sadly, it all went wrong for her when she couldn’t deal with testing the serum on live subjects anymore. Her refusal to cooperate after that was most frustrating.”

Between moments of pure anger, Miguel felt distraught that Maria went through this at work and couldn’t open up about it at home.

The lift’s metal doors slide open again revealing the bio-engineering floor. Lights flicker on as someone flips the switch while Kingpin leads Miguel into the room where the experiments took place…

***

Your car grinds to a halt in front of the Alchemax building. You have parked it in a space but it is hideously wonky, but frankly, you don’t care as you have bigger fish to fry.

Alchemax security guards spot you running towards the building, preparing to intercept you. For once, you find yourself glad that you’re able to shout that you work for Kingpin as you run past and dodge their attempts to grab you.

You knew they’d allow you through if you said you work for the large mafia boss. It seems Kingpin has Alchemax in his pocket, whether they liked it or not.

You need to go to the vault, which is under Alchemax. Kingpin and anyone who works for him unfortunately has access to it. Take a lift and select the basement floor.

Garcia’s voice echoes in your mind as you remember his instructions as you burst into the foyer of the science facility and head to the nearest lift you can find that goes to the basement.

The light on the call button blinks furiously as you press it repeatedly, willing this damn lift to hurry the hell up. Time is of the essence, you can’t waste any of it.

To your surprise one of your colleagues appears on the other side of the opening sliding doors. Your eyes lock on his own as they go wide. Realising who you are, he charges at you, shunting you against a wall as you yelp in shock.

“Kingpin thought you might show up, good job I found you first eh?”

You thrash against him in frustration. Every second that passes is precious time being wasted.

Adrenaline runs at an all time high within you as your heart pounds against your ribs frantically. You have to get away from him if you want to stand any chance at rescuing Miguel.

A tight grip forms around your arm as he tries to turn you away from him.

“Come on, the exit’s this way.”

“Let me go!” you scream as you jam your knee into his groin.

Your colleague cries out in agony and lets you go. His hands rushing to his crotch as he buckles over.

“You bitch!” he screams through gritted teeth, his seething expression fixed on you.

To make sure he doesn’t retaliate or follow, you hit him hard in the head to knock him out.

A thud fills the air as he collapses on the linoleum floor unconscious. His suit jacket flops open revealing something that catches your eye. You pause as you look down at it.

A gun in its holster is out on display. You’re not really a fan of guns, but you might be entering a kill or be killed situation. It’s best to be prepared - just in case.

Reaching down, you pull it out and take it with you. It feels weird to be carrying a weapon, as if things have suddenly become much more serious.

Finally, the lift door closes with you inside it and it begins its descent into the basement. Closing your eyes, you take a breath to calm yourself as you try to remember the next load of instructions Garcia had given you.

***

Miguel half expected that someone would have shown up by now. He knew Gabi would have called somebody. What’s holding people up?

His jaw flexes uncomfortably while his gag persists. Sympathy starts to rise for those he has gagged in the past. But at least they deserved it…

A lab surrounds him, along with Kingpin’s men.

Around the perimeter of the room are counters with cupboards underneath, stored with equipment; beakers; vials, microscopes and petri dishes - just to name a few.

Visions of his wife, Maria, sitting at the counter and running experiments dances in his mind as he looks around. Tears threaten to well up in his eyes as he remembers her but he blinks them away.

Then his gaze focuses on the centre of the room. A modified metal slab-like table stands ominously. He immediately gets a bad feeling about it. Straps are fixed halfway down and at the bottom of the table.

“I had the room set up exactly how it was when I last saw Maria alive. I thought you’d appreciate that.”

Kingpin chuckles darkly as he watches Miguel’s eyes fixate on the table.

“You see, I had to have her still enough so I could teach her a lesson. A lesson I considered teaching your new lady friend but I managed to find a way to get her to comply.”

There’s that wicked grin again. If Miguel had seen it, he’d have tried to smash that smile to smithereens, but he was busy putting the pieces together instead after the large man spoke.

His chest rises and falls as his breathing quickens. His mind, swimming with thoughts while he feels the room spin. Shock, anger and grief makes his entire body shake.

“Of course, I had to make it look like she had done it herself. Couldn’t have anyone pointing the blame at me now could I?”

Miguel is at his limit. Kingpin has more or less confessed to murdering Maria. And he looks so damn smug about it too. How he would love to wipe that smile off of his face. He fantasises doing it in the most hideous way possible. A growl rumbles low in his chest as his muscles tenses up.

With one last hard pull, the captive yanks at his bonds and breaks out. Rushing towards his captor.

Kingpin’s eyes widen momentarily and retreats behind a curtain formed by his men who all grab Miguel as he charges.

Muffled shouts and screams of rage fill the air as he kicks and thrashes around.

The force of Kingpin’s men drags and lifts the incensed man up onto the table.

One by one, each limb is strapped down but not without a violent struggle.

Wildly desperate and frightened brown eyes look around frantically. Searching for any kind of escape. Any kind of help. The sense of hopelessness engulfs him. Any chance to escape diminishes by the second. 

Pulling against the straps is useless as they’re firmly attached to the table by chains, but he still tries out of sheer desperation.

“Roll up his left sleeve for me,” Kingpin orders one of his men, his tone commanding.

As someone carries out the task, the boss opens the metal case and produces a serum in a syringe equipped with a needle, all ready to go.

“Your wife was working on creating the perfect serum for me, to genetically enhance humans. But unfortunately, she was never able to make one that didn’t kill the test subject.”

Kingpin now begins his slow and taunting approach to Miguel. A broad, smug grin stamped across his face. An evil glint shines in his eyes.

“I’ll let you have a taste of her work. You can experience everything she went through in her final moments. And then you’ll be reunited with her. How sweet…”

Now standing right next to the violently thrashing man on the table, he speaks again.

“Keep him still for me. He’s just as wriggly as his wife was.” He speaks louder just so he can be heard over his captive’s angry roars.

Four pairs of hands working in unison press down on his limbs, holding him still. His chest heaves as he screams through the cloth. Eyes open wide and his brow severely furrowed as he watches the needle plunge into his lower arm and the contents of the syringe begins to empty.

Searing pain spreads through his veins. Every muscle tenses and an unpleasant tingling sensation crashes over him like a violent, freak wave on a beach. His body erupts with heat while his lungs struggle to get enough air in them through the gag.

Withdrawing the needle, Kingpin watches with glee as his captive is reacting - badly - to the serum.

Kingpin chuckles darkly, almost getting drowned out by Miguel’s agonised yells and screams.

“This, Mr. O'Hara, is only just the beginning. Sit tight.”

***

Rows upon rows of safe-like vaults are in front of you. Many corridors and alleyways of secure containment boxes to choose from.

I couldn’t store the antidote with project #2099 as I had to keep it safe. So I created my own project, #2100. Find that vault, the code is Maria’s birthday, September 28th.

Looking at signs on the walls, you see Alchemax has run thousands of experiments, too many to count. You look for a sign that indicates where the projects in the 2000’s are and follow the direction it points you in.

The sea of numbers goes down in numerical order as you stride along a corridor. Your eyes skimming over each project number until you find #2100.

September 28th… You think to yourself as you look at the number pad on the door of the box. It’s a three digit code.

Thinking quickly, you punch in 928 and a green light followed by a beep follows, indicating you entered in the correct code.

As the small vault unlocks, your eyes wander over to the containment box to the left, #2099. You sincerely hope you don’t need what’s inside #2100.

Pulling the door open, you grab a small case and run, not even taking the time to close the vault again.

Now the real hard work begins. You have absolutely no clue as to what floor Kingpin and Miguel are on. Entering the lift again, you spam the close button and press the first floor to begin the tedious task of finding the correct floor. You just hope you reach them in time.

If it wasn’t for pressing the button for each floor in the lift, you would have lost count of the number of levels you have tried in the large science facility. Your only saving grace is that every floor is pitch black and silent, suggesting no one is there.

So when you come to floor fifteen and you see lights on and hear bone chilling screams you know you’re in the right place. Your heart plummets as soon as you hear the sound.

As you rush out of the elevator, you see the bio-engineering lab is lined with windows all around it and the scene before you almost stops your heart completely.

Seeing Miguel screaming, sweating and writhing in agony on the table makes you worry you’re too late, but you can’t stop now. He’s restrained and gagged, in desperate need of help.

With the case in one hand and a gun in the other, you enter the lab. Kingpin and his goons seem preoccupied with their captive.

Lifting the weapon, your trembling finger rests on the trigger, aiming directly at Kingpin.

You steel yourself and make peace with what you have to do. If the roles were reversed, Kingpin wouldn’t think twice.

In reality, he’s killing the man you care about right in front of you, and he’d do the same to you if he knew that you’re there.

You promised Gabi you’d do everything in your power to get her papa home. Pulling that trigger is in your power. And that is what you have to do.

It’s scary how easily it can be done. Pulling that trigger wasn’t difficult physically. A shot rings out. The other four men look up as they flinch, while Kingpin crashes to the floor, dead. The force shakes the entire room.

You feel sick at the thought of what you have done but as you swallow hard, you bravely press on.

While Miguel continues to roar and thrash at his restraints, the other four men hold their hands up in surrender.

“Get the fuck out of here!” you yell at them while pointing the gun in their direction.

They didn’t need telling twice. As they scatter, you grab one roughly by their suit. Your aggressiveness surprises you.

“Call off the attack on O’Hara’s people while you’re at it.”

The man nods silently and leaves the room after you release him.

Heavy panting steals your attention.

Miguel, dripping with sweat, thrashes his head side to side as he reacts to the serum.

Prizing open the case, you seize the antidote, nicely prepared for injection already.

If the antidote needs to be administered, inject directly into the serum’s injection site.

You remember the last bit of Garcia's instructions. Rushing to the table in the centre of the lab, you urgently look for where the serum had been injected. It doesn’t take long, the skin on his left arm is a bright angry red and is hot to the touch.

You do everything you can to not cry. His pain and desperation is palpable. And the sight before you hurts you to look at. Seeing him so distressed hits you hard. You can’t bear to see him gagged. His mouth is freed as you pull at the cloth, although parts of you wish you hadn’t as his agonising screams hit you harder.

“Miguel!” You call out to him as you’re not even sure he knows you’re there.

Your hand caresses his contorted face of agony as you lean in close.

“I need you to stay still for me. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to try. Please!”

He roars with eyes clamped shut as a fresh wave of pain rolls over him, you nearly scream when you spot two enlarged canines.

Desperately stroking his face and holding it more firmly, you try again.

“Please! You’ve got to do this for me!”

Miguel huffs as he registers a kinder touch. He grits his now razor sharp teeth as he tries to stay still long enough for you to do what you need to do.

Reaching over his shuddering body, you hold the needle above the injection site.

“I’m sorry if this hurts, Miguel…” you mutter as you press the needle into his skin.

His body immediately arches upwards beneath you, almost bucking you off of him. Another yell of pain erupts from his wide open mouth.

“I know!” you sob, tears streaming down your face “I know - please, stay still a little while longer…”

Your thumb presses down on the plunger of the syringe, pushing the life saving serum into his bloodstream. Hoping against hope that you’re not too late.

Once the syringe is totally empty, you pull it out and drop it as you return to Miguel’s top half.

As before, your hands cup his damp face, moving any hair stuck against his skin while he pants heavily.

What you would give for him to open his eyes. You wish for him to see you. To see that you came for him. To save him.

Relief washes over you as his breathing slows. The large heavy panting turns into short huffs. Tense muscles begin to relax as you continue to stroke his sweat soaked skin.

“Ga- Gabi…” he starts to mutter between his puffs as his breathing regulates.

A relieved smile spreads across your face. Snaking your arm under the back of his neck, you cradle his head gently.

“She’s at home, waiting for her papa.”

Miguel’s eyes remain closed, but he cracks a faint smile across his parted lips. You see just the tip of one of his large canine teeth peeking out. Just what did that serum do to him, you wonder as your fingers now run adoringly through his damp hair.

In that moment of peace, despite what he has just been through, you’re happy. You’re still not entirely sure if he knows who you are; but,  you’re holding him close and caressing his hair. Something you thought you’d never be able to do again.

Leaning down, you plant a loving, tender kiss on his forehead as your fingers return to his cheek. Making the most of this precious moment.

As you lean close, the cold hard chain of his wrist restraints presses against your body. You realise the poor man is still bound to the table.

Placing his head back down gently, taking care not to move him suddenly, you start to undo the straps around his wrists.

As you go to move his hand away from the strap, you feel something sharp snagging your skin.

“Ouch!”

Your hand instinctively jumps away as you look down at what stabbed you. Nothing can stop your jaw from dropping in total shock.

Protruding out from his fingertips are razor edged, bloodied claws.

Scooping up his large right hand in yours, you inspect the talons more closely. Your fingers ghost delicately over them and then run along down his long, slender, manly digits. All the while Miguel remains calm as his breathing slows even more.

The silence between you is punctuated with the sounds of the velcro on the straps ripping apart from itself as you free him. His long limbs are heavy and you’re careful not to hurt yourself with the strange sharp claws on his other hand.

Looking at the clear result of the serum injection, you wonder if this is what Kingpin wanted for the men who do his dirty work? Has he managed what no other living thing could?

As you ask yourself those questions, you start to hear that his breathing has become laboured. The blissful feeling of relief drains from you as that sound doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence.

His brow creases as if he’s feeling pain again and begins to gasp for air.

Rushing to his side, you pick up his hand and squeeze it in hope to provoke a response from him. Your gaze desperately searches his expression, pleading for him to relax again.

“Miguel?” Your voice quivers slightly as you lean over him more.

Your other hand rests on his right shoulder and you start to shake him. He’s not responding.

“Miguel?”

You shake him harder as his laboured gasps continue but he still does not respond.

Something’s wrong - very wrong.

“No, no, no, no, no…” you murmur as your hand goes up to his cheek and tap him gently. Panic sets in. This isn’t supposed to happen. Has the antidote actually worked?

His brow furrows more as his breathing becomes faster and shallower.

“No - don’t… Don’t you dare…”

More tears stream down your face as you watch his struggle, totally powerless and without a clue in how to help him.

To your absolute horror, peace falls upon him once more. But the wrong kind of peace. His brow relaxes totally and his breathing stops all together.

“No…”

Eyes frantically search for signs of life in his face, hoping that he’ll move again in a second. But without any further change you search for a pulse in his neck. Nothing.

“No!”

Dropping his hand to his side, you feel his chest for a heart beat. Nothing. He has gone into cardiac arrest.

Shit!

A loud sob fills the air from your parted lips. Without even thinking, your body takes over. Clambering up onto the table, you straddle his body as you place the heel of your hand against the centre of his chest.

You feel something hard underneath his clothes. Undoing the first couple of buttons of his shirt, reveals a bulletproof vest. Nothing can get in the way of your attempt at CPR so you continue to undo all items of clothing covering his torso.

Once again, you place the heel of your hand in the centre of his chest while pressing the palm of your other hand on top. You push down hard enough to compress by about five centimetres and repeat thirty times at a fast pace.

“You’re not dying on me…” you pant between compresses. “Not today.”

The first thirty compressions are complete. Leaning forward you gently tilt his head back and pull at his chin to part his lips. Pinching his nose with your finger and thumb, you seal your mouth over his and blow firmly, twice.

His lifeless body rocks with each compression as you start the process all over again in a desperate bid to revive him. Sobbing and panting you think about his daughter. You said to Gabi you’d get her papa back, you can’t let her down.

“Come on!” You yell as you desperately will him to take a breath, open his eyes or do something!

It feels like an age since he stopped breathing, but it’s probably just been a minute.

More tears roll down your cheek as you continue to perform CPR. Your knees ache kneeling on the cold metal table but you press on. You don’t care if you can’t feel your legs anymore, if it means you bring him back.

“Damn it Miguel!”

Panic increases again as you do another thirty compressions and prepare to give him two more rescue breaths.

Suddenly, his body moves on its own as you seal your lips over his. The unexpected movement makes you pull away and gasp as he draws a sharp intake of breath. Relief washes over you as you see him breathe for himself for the first time since he fell silent.

His eyes snap wide open as they lock onto yours immediately. However they’re not how you remember them. The beautiful warm brown they used to be, is now replaced by a deep red.

“(Y/N)?”

----------

Part 8

I hope you enjoyed the drama. Sorry if I made anyone cry! Heh heh...

Buy me a coffee! (And gain access to my discord)

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[kkurisuac]

We’re two worlds apart

Pairing: Wakasa Imaushi x Fem!reader

warning: kinda fluff, angst at the end, friends to (lovers) to strangers

Two young people whose lives are far from perfect. The girl's parents are not exactly role models, quite the opposite. But she has found the person with whom she can escape from the world.

Neither of them believes in love: the girl because of her parents, and the boy simply because he has no interest in that particular feeling. They think that together they can escape their problems and a better future awaits them.

"Waka, that's too high! Come down a bit and help me," Y/n extended her hand for the boy to pull her up into the tree.

"It's time to overcome your fear of heights, so I'm not coming down," Wakasa said as he pulled her up onto the branch.

"Waka, I'm scared," Y/n clung to the boy.

"Open your eyes," Wakasa replied, and Y/n, though afraid, looked up. Her eyes beheld a dark forest illuminated only by the stars. There was nothing interesting, just peace and quiet, and that was exactly what Y/n liked.

"I'm still scared," the girl said, to which Wakasa laughed.

"That's definitely wrong. The wind is blowing that way," Y/n said to Wakasa, who looked at her boredly.

"Then you do it, Y/n!" Wakasa gave up so the girl would be satisfied with the way he was doing it.

"Okay, it's fine there too," Y/n agreed, just so she wouldn't have to pitch the tent.

Sitting on the shore, they waited for the sunrise while sipping tea and sharing a blanket.

"Shinichiro wants to see you again."

"Wasn't once enough? I mean, your friends are very nice, but they don't believe there's nothing between us. Even though it might seem like my heart belongs to you."

"Because it really seems that way?" Wakasa asked, hoping the girl would say something encouraging.

"It doesn't matter, because young love doesn't last forever anyway, and besides, we're separated by two worlds," Y/n said sadly.

"You said that when we first met too."

"Because we're always separated by two worlds, then and now."

"Will you ever explain this? Because I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now."

"You'll find out when you figure it out yourself," Y/n laughed at the boy. Wakasa admired the girl, who looked even more beautiful in the early light.

"Waka, look, there's the sun!" Y/n pointed forward.

"If you didn't show me, I wouldn't have seen it," Wakasa replied boredly.

"Waka, help me! These are too heavy for me," Y/n pleaded tiredly with the boy.

"Okay, just don't whine anymore," he took the many bags from her. Wakasa had accompanied Y/n shopping, but she hadn't mentioned that Wakasa would be carrying her stuff.

"Now let's go eat! I'm starving," Y/n headed towards their favorite diner.

"Y/n, is something wrong? You're not acting normally," Wakasa stopped the girl.

"It's just my parents. Never mind, please don't talk about it," Y/n replied sadly, to which Wakasa nodded understandingly and continued walking beside her.

Y/n had a specific problem she couldn't share with Wakasa at the moment. She didn't want to think about the future when she was with him, so she lied a little.

"Come on! I'll catch you, don't be afraid," Wakasa looked at the girl who still didn't dare jump out of the window.

"Besides sneaking me out, you ask me to do this too! You'd better catch me," she closed her eyes and jumped out of the window. Wakasa caught her, and Y/n snuggled into his embrace, trembling.

"I'll never do this again," Y/n declared, letting go of Wakasa.

The two young people set off for their favorite spot, the beach, to watch shooting stars.

Y/n's parents didn't allow her to go, so Wakasa decided to sneak her out for the night. Y/n had been looking forward to this day for months, and Wakasa knew how much it meant to her to see the stars. So, following Shinichiro's idea, he made sure Y/n could see the shooting stars.

"It's colder than I thought," Y/n shivered.

"What did you expect in the middle of winter?" Wakasa sat closer to Y/n to warm her up.

"Waka, thank you so much. If it weren't for you, I'd be sitting alone and lonely in my room, hoping to be happy one day. But because you're here, I don't have to hope," Y/n smiled at the boy.

"The least I could do was make you happy if I already snuck you out," Wakasa laughed, hiding the fact that he blushed because of her.

"Waka! Waka! Look, there's the shooting star!" Y/n exclaimed happily.

"Make a wish," Wakasa reminded her.

'Let me stay with him.'

'Let me not have to leave him.'

After they both made their wishes, they just stared at the sky, lost in their thoughts. Occasionally, Y/n pointed out constellations she recognized, but then she fell silent.

"I'm going to America," Y/n said painfully.

"What?" Wakasa was surprised and couldn't believe what he heard.

"My parents have been planning this for months, and they told me a few weeks ago."

"Oh, okay, that's good," Wakasa said painfully. Although he kept the same bored expression, he was hurting inside because Y/n was going to leave him.

"Waka… I don't want to go," Y/n said, crying as she hugged Wakasa. He let her cry and did everything to comfort her.

"Look at that star. That star always shines, and when I'm in America, I'll see the same sky you do, so think of me when you see it," Y/n said, pointing to the sky, though she couldn't see anything through her tears.

"This is the last time we're sitting here together for now."

"Don't go," Wakasa spoke for the first time in a while.

"I've never been able to choose my destiny, and that won't change now. Maybe someday," Y/n smiled painfully.

"But I wanted to show you so many things."

"When I come back someday."

"That's a promise, Y/n."

"You lied, Y/n. Our star doesn't shine anymore," Wakasa looked up at the sky.

Many years had passed since Y/n went to America, leaving Wakasa behind. They say distance strengthens a relationship, but that wasn't the case for them. Today was the first time they met in many years, but standing face to face, they were like strangers. Yet neither of them had forgotten the other; they were still in love with each other. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't fall in love again because they only thought of each other.

"You didn't keep your promise, Waka," Y/n looked up at the sky, searching for their star.

"There's a legend that says you can't force stars to align if they're already dead. This applies to us too, Waka."

"I always loved you, Y/n. I tried to keep our star together, but I couldn't."

"We went through so much together, Waka. We saw so many things, and thanks to you, I fell in love, but we're separated by two worlds," Y/n looked at the boy disappointedly.

"So we can never be together, right?"

"Maybe someday. When we manage to overcome what separates us."

"Y/n, are you leaving again?" Waka asked, hoping the girl's answer would be no.

"Waka… I don't want to leave you," Y/n fell into Wakasa's arms.

"But you will, just like years ago," Wakasa said with the same bored expression, though he struggled to hide his pain and disappointment.

"I understand why you're angry with me, but… I'm 27 years old and I still don't control my life, and I don't think I ever will."

"Y/n, what if I ran away with you again like I did that night?"

"Then you'd take control of my destiny, and not just my heart would be yours."

….

[fandomshatepeoplewdisabilities]

So in this amazing, sadly quite niche space opera I recently read ("The Risen Empire" by Scott Westerfeld) there are two, three if you stretch the definition a bit, disabled characters, and I want to draw art and write fic of them, maybe even nsfw stuff of both categories.

Problem is, while I am neurodivergent, I am able-bodied, and one of these characters is Laurent Zai, Captain of a spaceship, tactical genius, and lost both legs and one arm in an intensely traumatic war captivity. While yeah, thanks to the high-tech in this future his prostheses can do things real life prostheses can't do, like sending tactile information back to his brain, as far as I can tell this book avoids most of the usual pitfalls when writing amputees: They do not fully replace his limbs, there are situations where they malfunction or do not work just quite as well as his original limbs or do not work at all, they need to be carefully maintained and they have weak spots. Most of the time Zai deals with them just fine, but from time to time they are different than what he knew, and it is bothering him, and giving him body dysmorphia, and he also does deal with phantom pain.

There is a beautiful and touching and tender and sensual scene where he finally confesses his trauma to his lover, and she reassures him that it's okay when he is "broken" and lets the trauma affect him, and he lets her take off his prostheses, and they have sex. Its not described particularly detailed, but it is a beautiful scene where he finally stops fighting against his trauma and is finally able to see his body as a source of joy and pleasure again, not just a tool he uses or a source of pain.

I am specifically thinking about making fanworks about that scene, but I don't want to fall into this "fetishizing amputees" trap, like the disgusting ableist "art" I once accidentally stumbled across online.

What are some things I have to look out for, apart from the obvious not depicting him as helplessly at mercy and powerless against his lover because he could not move away or fight back as well as her if it was necessary? Both small practical things like how one moves in such a situation that might not be apparent to me as an able bodied person, and more general things?

So I had a really hard time tracking down The Risen Empire by Scott Westerfeld. (It wasn't available through hoopla or libby at my local library). I might ask mod laina if they have some piratical hookups for it. But like I do want to boost this for our followers to weigh in on (or hey if you know any amputees that might be up for explaining a few things for us I'd also be grateful).

In the mean time I'll do my own digging and hope I can read the source material soon.

Please please boost this followers!

mod ali

[alpaca-clouds]

Let's try to get some perspective

Okay, let me quickly talk about it, because I saw this coming up again and again. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely do get the anger about Larian going: "Alright, we will start to slowly step back from further updates on BG3." I get it.

Because, yes. The companions, who are not Shadowheart or Astarion do deserve more work on their questlines (especially Karlach and Wyll, who very much are underwritten right now). There are some story threads left hanging, too. And yes, we all can name at least one NPC, for whom we would want a bit more content. Also, yes, there are still some bugs that make the game crash for some users, which sucks as well. (A friend of mine cannot play the game. It crashed as he entered act 2 last October and he has been waiting for an update that allows him to continue playing ever since - and it still does not work.)

But... Please also consider, that Larian already gave us a lot more in terms of support and updates, than most studios will do. Especially in terms of story and quality of life updates. I honestly have never been part of a game community with anything near the associated cost of a game like BG3, that did not only release several updates for story and characters after the game release, but did this for free. Like, sure, this is the kinda stuff I have come to expect from some Indie studios, but not a studio that is AA.

Basically no other big CRPG has ever given us so much in terms of updates and support. At least in a long, long while. Usually games get shipped out broken and unplayable (looking at you, Cyberpunk 2077) and then over months get fixed into a somewhat playable state, before support ends. But with not much in terms of story or quality of life updates.

And you have to see that the big issue with those big ass Patch updates is, that they do cost a lot of money, and do not really bring in that much. So the return on investment is not the best. And sadly Larian, too, lives under a capitalist system. They need to make money to keep existing as a studio.

Now, of course. Most of us (maybe not me specifically, but a lot of folks) would love some DLC for BG3. Let us explore the hells with Karlach and Wyll, visit the vampire spawn in the Underdark - or something like that. And given that Larian could absolutely monetize such a DLC and people would love it.

My personal theory is that due to WotC firing all the people working with Larian, they just are so done with the entire WotC thing. Which I get. Believe me, I get it.

But in general... They do not owe us and DLC. Just as they do not owe us BG4 or whatever.

Would I personally love them take on another DnD/Forgotten Realms game? Yeah, absolutely. But again: I get it, if they look at the burning dumbster fire that is WotC and go: "Yeah, no."

And they will still fix bugs for a while. That is the one thing that they do arguably owe. Given that for some people those bugs are gamebreaking, and who paid for the game should be in their right to actually play it. But everything else?

And don't get me wrong: I absolutely do have loads of criticism for them. Especially in regards to the lack of body diversity in the game, the lack of PotC characters, and how underwritten some characters are (again: Wyll and Karlach). There is tons of stuff to criticize. But... you know, it is still okay for them to move on. And yes, it sucks how underwritten the two PoC companions are (reminder: Karlach is Asian), and it feels at the very least like bias. And I do hope Larian will do better with PoC characters in future games. But... Let's be honest, it was always unrealistic to expect, that they would do the massive updates needed to properly flesh out those two storylines.

[jae-bummer]

My Idol 3: Part Seventeen

My Idol from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Saturday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in a specific mission to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what four idols will move on to the second date.

My Idol 3: The Series

"Give it to me straight," Hoshi said, sipping loudly from his juice box. "I can take it."

You winced, tilting your head as you tried to gently break the news.

"We're out," Hyungwon grumbled from behind you. "Me, you, and Hongseok."

Furrowing his brows, Hoshi's face filled up with a frown as he lowered the juice box. "I got eliminated and I wasn't even there for the dramatic close up of my heart breaking?"

"If it's any consolation," Hyungwon muttered. "I'm pretty sure they panned in on the box."

"Perfect," Hoshi said, shaking his head. "Not to make this about me, but I have to say, I'm disappointed."

"Me too," you agreed, suddenly becoming much too interested in your shoes. Surely your shoes wouldn't make you cry. "I was really looking forward to getting to know you guys better."

"You win some, you lose some," Hoshi sighed. "I just wish this hadn't been the some I lost."

"Y/N," Insu said, clearing his throat as he appeared. "We need to get moving."

Giving a curt nod, you turned back to the two men who were now being ousted from your immediate future. You had attempted to find Hongseok at the end of filming as well, but weren't necessarily surprised to hear that he had already left the set.

Deep down, you knew it wasn't personal. He was relying on self preservation just as much as you were. It was already an upsetting situation, but it stung even more to know he had gone without a proper goodbye.

"Don't have too much fun without me," Hoshi pouted, spreading his arms wide to capture you in a hug. Letting yourself fall into his chest, the weight of the competition washed over you. You knew losing contestants would hurt, but not like this. At the base level, these guys had become your friends, your solace, and confidants. The emotions ripping through your chest were entirely selfish, but you didn't care.

"Hey," Hoshi cooed, rubbing your back as he heard you stifle a whimper. You knew the tears cascading down your face were now hitting his shirt, likely leaving splotches of makeup in their wake. "You're going to get your fairy tale ending, I promise."

"What about your fairy tale ending?"

"I've gotten so many," he said, leaning away from you to capture your eyes with his. A slow grin began to fill his lips. "I need to stop being so thoughtless and let others have a few."

"I mean, I would've like to have one," you heard Hyungwon admit from behind you. Spinning around, you almost shattered all over again as his expression softened. Pulling you into his side, he patted your shoulder. "I guess we'll see you on the other side."

"I guess so," you croaked. "I hope we don't become strangers."

"Never," he smiled sadly. "Plus, I think I owe you another motorcycle ride."

"You can take me," Hoshi blurted, fitting himself into Hyungwon's other side. "I promise I won't scream."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Hyungwon laughed, shaking his head as he untangled from the both of you. "Plus Y/N looks much prettier on the back of my bike."

"Hey, don't make any assumptions," Hoshi argued. "Until you see me there, you don't know for sure!"

"I'll miss you guys," you chuckled, finally making the slow march toward where Insu was waiting. "See you later?"

"Bet on it," Hoshi beamed, hooking his arm around Hyungwon's shoulders.

"We'll be around," Hyungwon said noncommittally before breaking into a smile of his own.

Giving one last small wave, you allowed Insu to guide you off set.

"What a disaster," you muttered, shaking your head. Finally feeling secure enough to decompress, you looked toward Insu. Since the competition had began, he had been something of a safe space for you. He was one of the few people in this situation that you could read, but tonight he seemed closed off. You knew the security breach had to have left him shaken, but you weren't expecting him to put a wall up between the two of you. "You know it wasn't your fault, right?"

Leading you to your My Idol chauffeured vehicle, he let out a soft grunt of acknowledgement.

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you pulled yourself into the car and instinctively slid over to make room for him. You watched in confusion as he pointed to another member of security you weren't quite familiar with and motioned them over. The words they shared were too quiet for you to hear, but you got the gist of the situation as the new guard plopped into the seat beside you.

"Insu?" you questioned, just as he was about to close the door.

Lifting his brows, he waited silently.

"Where are you going?" you asked, trying not to sound too desperate. You hadn't lied earlier when you said the night was a disaster. Even if the crowd hadn't surged on stage, you would've been shaken by the night's initial purpose alone. With the added chaos, you felt like your nerve endings were fried. You just wanted someone who was familiar to take care of you.

You wanted Insu.

Trying to quiet the implications of that thought, you focused on his frozen form instead. You watched as his jaw muscles clenched, a sign that his mind was working overtime to come up with a safe answer.

"I have to finish up a few things here," he said gruffly. "I'll meet you back at home."

Without saying another word, he shut the car door, plunging you into darkness with a stranger. Granted, it was likely a stranger that he trusted implicitly, especially if it came to your safety. Still, the action felt cold and instantly had tears prickling your eyes again.

Why was every emotion attached to your tear ducts?

"He's got some major cleanup to do after the incident," the unknown guard supplemented after a moment of silence. He continued to speak, but you had unintentionally tuned him out. Your thoughts were loud enough to crash against the confines of your head without his half-hearted excuses. You knew tonight had been bad and Insu was likely getting more than an earful on the situation. It made sense when a sick feeling overtook your stomach as the car finally began to pull away from the sound stage. What was going to happen to him?

And what would happen to you if he wasn't there anymore?

.

You didn't mean to stay up, but sleep had been evading you before you had even placed your head on the pillow. It wasn't that you were waiting to hear Insu's tired voice in the hallway all night, you just didn't have anything better to listen for. Just as you were on the precipice of cutting your losses and taking allergy medication to fall asleep, you caught a hushed exchange just outside of your hotel door.

Creeping off of your mattress, you crossed the room, and looked out of the small peep hole. The security officer who had escorted you home had disappeared, replaced by a face you had been waiting with baited breaths to see.

"Insu," you gasped, immediately yanking open the door.

Springing out of his chair in alarm, he faced you with a tense stance. It took him several moments to finally calm down enough and recognize there was no danger in the situation, just you in your pajamas.

"Y/N," he breathed, shaking his head. "I mean this in the kindest way, but what the fuck?"

You felt your cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. Perhaps you could have gone about that more calmly. "I was worried about you."

"Isn't it my job to be worried about you?" he chuckled, rubbing a hand down his face. While he was now at least attempting to act normal, you knew he was covering something else up.

"Do you want to come in?" you asked slowly. Pushing the door open so it was wider, you stepped to the side to make room for him to pass.

"You have an early day tomorrow," he sighed, shaking his head. "We can talk then."

"I want to talk now," you pressed.

"Y/N," he said sternly, leveling you with a look a scolding parent would be proud of.

"Insinuating I should go to sleep doesn't mean I actually will," you protested. "I can get back in bed and stare at the ceiling until the sun comes up or you can come in and tell me what's going on."

Chewing on his lip, it took him only a few seconds to think through your argument. His originally serious expression melted into something more sad as he strolled past you and into your hotel room.

"Now that we have that settled," you murmured, closing the door and leaning against it. "I'm happy to see you haven't lost your job."

"Is that what you were in here thinking about?" he teased, pressing his palm to his chest. "I'm touched."

"Insu," you hummed, shaking your head. Sliding slowly down the door, you plopped to the floor, and pulled your legs against your chest. "To be honest, I don't know if I could do this without you."

He smiled sadly at you before sitting gingerly at the end of your bed. "I appreciate the sentiment, but-"

"It's the reality," you cut in. "I hope you know that. No one can possibly protect me like you do. You genuinely care and-"

"Y/N," he said, now his turn to interrupt. "I'm not sure...how well I can protect you anymore."

The words you had been about to say dried up in your mouth. "I'm sorry, what?"

"There's a lot going on that you don't understand," he continued quietly. "Hell, I'm not even sure if I completely understand it."

"Then tell me," you said instantly. "Make me understand."

You could feel the panic begin to nip at the edges of your thoughts. You had lost Hyungwon, Hoshi, and Hongseok all in one night. You were not about to have Insu disappear too.

"I don't know if I should even try," he cringed. "I'm going to sound crazy if I say it out loud."

"Please," you insisted.

"The only other person I've talked to about this is Hyuk," he cautioned. "In no universe should I be sharing these concerns with you."

"If it's about my safety, I think I have the right to know."

After a beat of silence, Insu's voice was hardly louder than a breath. "Tonight shouldn't have happened."

"Tonight? You mean the angry mob?"

"That's exactly what I mean," he scowled. "Ever since the fan rushed you and one of the contestants on your park date, I've been pouring over security plans. Every possible danger has been taken into consideration. Nothing and no one should have gotten through."

"Okay..." you trailed, still a bit lost.

"We've caught several other fan disruptions on your other dates, barring the egg incident, I'm still not sure how that happened either," he shuddered. "But tonight, it should have gone off without a single incident. We did background checks, searches, everything you can think of."

"Then why did it?" you asked, tilting your head. "It seemed pretty well planned on the crowd's part."

"Exactly," he muttered. "Hyuk and I have interrogated guards, fans, and everyone in between. It doesn't make sense...it's almost...it's almost like we're being sabotaged."

"Sabotaged?"

"From the inside," he nodded. "Nothing should have happened unless the My Idol crew wanted it to."

"No way," you laughed bitterly. Thinking back to the aftermath of the situation, you shook your head. "The idols were physically injured."

"Makes great television, doesn't it?" he said quietly.

"The filming," you faltered. "As soon as the crowd surged, the cameras shut down. There wasn't any good television to be seen if they weren't actually recording."

"They didn't shut down, Y/N," Insu whispered. "They were filming the entire thing."

"But the host," you pointed out. "When we came back on air, she explained-"

"I'm not going to argue what she said," he sighed. "I'm just saying that we saw it. The film. We see the social media response. Viewers saw everything."

You sat dumbfounded. There was no way.

"My break in?" you croaked, trying to keep your calm.

"We think that was a legitimate incident," Insu nodded. "Unfortunately, that may have been the spark that started the idea for all of the other attacks."

"That's sick," you gasped.

"I don't disagree," he acknowledged. "But it's the only thing I keep going back to. These incidents are too targeted, too well planned. We should have seen SOMETHING, Y/N. From our point of view, tonight should have gone off without a hitch."

"So I shouldn't trust the people who are in control of my day to day activities?" you groaned. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you tried to swallow down anxiety threatening to overflow.

"I don't know," he admitted. "That's why I didn't want to tell you any of this. I just don't know."

Your conversation lapsed into silence as you both seemed to be lost in your own thoughts. He was right, verbalizing his theories sounded absolutely crazy. There was no way that a production crew would put their cast in the path of danger, right?

If the danger had rails around it...if there were actual writers coming up with these situations and putting them into play during your dates...

"I'll ask them," you said dumbly. "I'll ask them how all of this keeps happening and-"

"They'll blame me," Insu chuckled. "Just like everyone did tonight."

"If you're to blame, why aren't you fired?" you questioned.

"That's the funny thing," he sighed. "In any other circumstance, my contract would be terminated. This was too big of a mess up. I should have been cut."

"But if they knew they were the ones orchestrating everything," you finished his thought. "They wouldn't have reason to fire you..."

"They know it's a setup," he agreed. "My team was meant to fail."

"This is unhinged."

"Welcome to reality television."

"What do we do?" you said helplessly. Things had escalated to a level you weren't prepared for.

"Stay as aware in your dates as you can," Insu instructed. "I don't want you to think you're alone in this. My team is obviously covering as much as they can, but any illusion of being prepared has been shattered."

Great, another thing to send you into a thought spiral on these dates.

Pulling himself up from the bed, Insu took the few short steps toward you before squatting down. Now at eye level, he reached out to smooth the small wrinkle between your brows. "I don't know how to tell you to still have fun, but stay vigilant. It sounds like an oxymoron."

"Be carefree and enjoy your date," you chuckled. "But secretly keep an eye out to make sure you don't get knifed."

"I surely hope it does not come to that," he laughed.

Settling into silence again, you both really thought about it. How much worse could it get?

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Insu whispered. His attention was heavy as he stared at you. "I may not be able to see what's coming, but no harm will come to you under my watch. Okay?"

"Okay," you croaked.

"And for as much as some of these guys grate my nerves," he smirked. "I don't think they'd let anything happen to you either."

"Just say Jackson," you muttered with an eye roll.

This caused Insu to break into a wide smile. "Surely I don't know who you mean."

"Riiiight," you grumbled. "Have fun on your dates, but not too much fun. Especially not with that Jackson boy. Thanks, dad."

Insu lifted a brow. 'I could get used to some variation of that."

"Insu!" you gasped.

Rising to his feat, a shit-eating grin painted his lips. He reached down, pulling you to your feet as well. "You should rest."

You spluttered, still not completely recovered from his previous comment.

"Goodnight, Y/N," he hummed, sneaking around you to slide out of the door.

Shaking your head, you watched him leave. The conversation you had had before was really enough for one night, and that quip had put the cherry on top.

You fell backward onto your bed, looking up at the popcorned ceiling as if they were stars in the night sky. "What am I even doing?"

.

The next morning did not meet you easily. Your eyes felt as if they had been solely constructed out of sandpaper as you blinked them open. It only took a few minutes of being conscious before the previous night's events began to surface.

My Idol, the show you had already become relatively wary of, was setting you up for the purpose of more entertaining television. You can't say you were surprised. You had watched the first two seasons of the show. The production team was notorious for throwing in twists that were outright painful for the contestants. The mental and emotional whiplash you were somewhat prepared for, but the physical danger? That was not something you had expected.

You felt like you were a zombie as you shuffled from one station to the next, brushing your teeth, getting dressed, having your hair and makeup done. It wasn't until you were sat in the SUV with a coffee in hand that you finally felt something resembling to a human again.

"Insu let me know you two had a long conversation last night," Hyuk said quietly, maintaining his attention on his phone. "I want you to know, that's just a theory. We don't know for sure-"

You narrowed your eyes at the older man, causing him to turn your way. He let out a surprised laugh. "Not buying it, huh?"

"Are you?"

"Touche."

It wasn't long before the My Idol SUV whipped into a shopping center you felt vaguely familiar with.

"Haven't we been here before?" you muttered, focusing on the building just out of your window.

Hyuk looked at you with a lifted brow. Even if you had been here before, you were sure that he wouldn't confirm or deny. Each date was meant to be a surprise, even if the dates themselves were on your doorstep before the date had even started.

Sliding out of your seat and into the shopping center's parking lot, you were surprised to see the camera crew directed at someone you didn't recognize. A figure stood with their back to you, tall, thin, long hair bound in a topknot. What was going on?

Walking up slowly to the scene, you cleared your throat as you came to a halt.

Spinning on his heel, a man you hadn't been expecting faced you.

"Hi, Y/N!" he chirped, waving shyly in your direction. "I'm Stray Kids Hyunjin. It's so nice to finally meet you."

.

[allmentalyart]

Headshots of my OCs!

I had been doodling some headshots around 3 weeks ago. Since Demon still gets the short end of the stick, I finished up Luna and Shadows headshots here (joke aside, I actually had no time to work on Demons headshot! It will be drawn sooner or later XD). To still have a trio here, I added the random headshot doodle of Delphy I made like...maybe 1 and a half month/s (?) ago, when I was visiting my aunt.

I am especially happy with Luna's headshot! It's just nice to see my rainbow skittles again after nearly a year of not drawing her. It's actually insane how little time I have for my beloved bean! And in general for Allmentaly. I barely make any progress on my writing at the moment sadly, but hopefully this all changes with next year!

Seeing how many scenes I am currently outlining, I hope I can soon structure the first part of Allmentaly properly! And if that step is actually done.... I'll be writing again 🥺 like legit writing! I haven't done this in over 2 years (except for 1 little short story). At the same time I feel like I gotta work on my world and lore building more first as well...Like I haven't explored all the important runes yet, some plants showing up need to be explained or at least drawn once. Then the different kingdoms, their rulers and their systems of electing their rulers...or maybe a timeline first? There is so much to work on! I will 100% keep you up to date with it :3 Also, not to mention my secret project! This one is currently getting some work done in the background!

Well, that's it for today. Anything specific you'd like me to talk about in a future post? (Posts like this where I don't really have much to say about the drawings themselves)

[eventhorizon081]

Posting my take on the secret life ending (first reactions because I just watched it): (spoilers under the cut)

I was deeply disappointed by this ending, not because my favs didn't make it far but because of the utter lack of good storylines. maybe I'm not watching the right povs, but as far as I can tell, nobody formed alliances that were as deep as ones we've seen in previous series. I'd say the group that stuck the most with me was gem & the scotts (mostly because of scott smajor's sacrifice), and all other alliances fell apart too quickly as members turned red and died. I feel that this had mostly to do with the huge loose alliance that formed (possibly a result of the boogeyman episode, which I will contrarily say was really fun and probably the best episode, narrative-wise), which led to something that was basically a free-for-all after the few members that weren't in the alliance died. It ended up feeling more like a pvp tournament than a life series finale, which is sadly disappointing, given how wonderful life series finale narratives tend to be.

I think that's an inherent flaw with the system that was employed this season, because people often have to go off on their own to do tasks, not allowing them to build alliances and do the roleplays we love so much. At least, that's why I love the life series so much, and tout it to everyone I meet: these creators are all so talented and experienced that they can create these wonderful storylines out of nothing! NOTHING! The premise of the life series is that there is nothing going on besides the gimmick, which often doesn't impact much, but it makes every life and death so much more impactful! And I somehow just didn't feel that with secret life, because deaths were rarely mourned the same way they were in past lives -- because nobody was that attached to their teammates.

Now don't get me wrong, I still heckin love secret life. I think the secret system allowed for many amazing moments that will definitely go down in life series history. However, I feel like the benefit of the secret system was definitely seen more in the first half of the series, and the second half fell flat. Now, again, I happened to watch povs that ended up red very late in the series, but I also wished that red tasks were more creative. I loved the task where Jimmy had to assassinate Scott specifically! I think more players should have gotten tasks to specifically target players/factions! It would have made for better conflict and less of a free-for-all ending.

I don't know if I'm the only one here, but I feel like the life series has run its course -- in terms of new gimmicks. However, I would absolutely *kill* for a "re-run" of old gimmicks. (I mostly have in mind double life with new soulmate pairs.) For me, the appeal of the life series was never in the gimmick, because the gimmick only served to make life and death more meaningful when it usually isn't in Minecraft. The creators took that, understood the assignment, and made these beautiful stories for us. I really hope that the life series doesn't die out, because it truly is a gathering of the most skilled minecraft content creators, and a tour de force of their skill in improvisation. The beauty of the life series is its simplicity -- and I do hope we get future seasons closer to the original vision of the series, rather than leaning into gimmicks until the simple beauty of it is gone.

[2n2n]

The anime kinda sucks but the op and the ending slap

I'm a fan of the anime! Though it doesn't really reflect the sheer beauty of Aida's art and color sense ... I do appreciate that it does try, and has very unique color for any anime, and is faithful to panels as best as it can be. I've seen much worse adaptations, much more generic flat anime (for shounens especially..) ... and it's sadly not as if Aida-sensei can personally do color keys for every episode ... it has better color than most anime. Jewel-toned, saturated, vibrant, I can tell they did all they could manage on their budget to follow the vibes of Aida-sensei's vivid covers.

My only like "augh" about the anime is just the kind of hyper-focus the fandom puts on only the anime's scenes, depictions. It's harder to find a good discussion about later arcs that isn't just reactionary!

I love the voice cast, I love that the twins are voiced by the same person, and Ogata-sensei is quite hype about her role as the Yugi, seems friendly with AidaIro-sensei... I like that she was directed to sound "more ghost-y" for Hanako, I love the delivery, and I love the difference in Tsukasa's higher, more perky tones. I'm sure given Ogata-sensei's prominence as a VA, that she was very specifically sought out by AidaIro-sensei.

Meanwhile Nene-chan's VA sings the ED, which I do adore ... it's very sweet that her VA can sing, and I wonder if AidaIro-sensei specifically wanted someone who could, given Nene-chan does like to whimsically sing little songs... Nene-chan's VA actually does like, singing in some sort of idol app game .. though she specifically sings like, lullabies.... ??? (its been a while since I looked though, so forgive me if details are off).... fascinating stuff. As a result, I look forward to future Nene-chan singing scenes being animated... and I wonder if other EDs would have her singing. I like the symbolic simplicity of the ED animation... very lovely.... very thoughtful.. it reminds me of how perfect some of the stage play's scenes are orchestrated, really thematic, really respecting the story's intentions...

I think about ED songs I like, vibes like this one....

OP tend to often be high octane so I rarely ever like them ... Brotherhood has the kind I like-- slow going into an emotional intensity-- focus on hands, gestures, love the shot of Riza in bed, would die for a vibe like that for JSHK... but even Brotherhood's later OPs are more action-oriented and don't work for meee.... ><;;; what I really like about Aida-sensei's art is how much she cares about gesture, expression, composition of a shot, specific lighting conditions ... I find the series so romantic, I wish the OP focused on that.

I don't actually like the OP of the anime LOL, and I feel like fkldsjsdkl; animating Aida-sensei's horny splash page image has genuinely poisoned the fandom into thinking about Tsukasa as some sexual predator WAY TOO MUCH (because they have to justify it as something other than a fun horny illustration, meant to draw in the proper audience.... ) ... again stuff BEING ANIMATED AT ALL means everyone, kind of, obsessively inflate the importance in their brains it feels lol .... I don't like the song really either, I prefer moody or somber OPs...! I would like something romantic and nostalgic.

I've been kinda hoping the announcement of new material is an OVA, because I would actually personally prefer less anime but a higher budget, getting to really explore a single arc, really get to see the faces rotating accurately (the anime never has as pretty of profiles as Aida-sensei draws;;; it kinda defaults.. the front-facing shots are accurate, but others are sortof 'whatever'....)

my favorite thing about Aida-sensei's art is the facial proportions... they look downright ah, weird, from many angles, bugeyed, tend to have an overbite, smooth muzzle.... extremely distinct

My Little Pony snouts.... gelfling..... cute upper lip....

I like Aida-sensei's art so much, that I doubt any anime would really have a high enough budget to do it justice ... but I don't dislike the anime we got, and just hearing scenes voiced is lovely. There are a lot of lines I am eager to hear aloud ... I think about getting to hear this aloud...

Ogata-sensei would crush it... mnnngh

[considerablecolors]

Hiii! I recently started one of your fics (the anderperry Tumblr au) and I was so sad to see it wasn't finished! I was wondering if you were going to write anymore, I guess. Have a nice day!

this ended up being kind of long lol- so im putting it under a read more, and i have a tl;dr at the end for anyone who wants the broad strokes without the whole backstory :)

hi! first of all, thank u so much for reading, i hope you've been enjoying it! tbh, this is probably something i should have addressed ages ago, so genuinely thank u for reaching out and motivating me to finally talk about this lol. so to be 100% honest, this question is kind of a hard one for me to answer?

dead poets society is a piece of media that means a lot to me and will always be a key piece of me, but it also sort of represents a part of my life that i don't like dwelling on if that makes sense. tbh it's probably obvious that i was going thru a rough patch just by reading some of my earlier dps stuff (neil perry is not okay is... yeah... lol). additionally, dps is something that i associate heavily with someone that's not really a big part of my life anymore, so sometimes it honestly feels wrong to write certain characters without thinking about that. it's also prolly obvious that dps is not really my main special interest anymore and hasn't been for a little while now.

ALL THAT BEING SAID- dead poets society will never not mean the world to me. despite all the mixed feelings i've come to associate with it, i keep rewatching with the film and engaging with content in small ways specifically because i don't want to let my past struggles ruin something i love. even if it's not the main interest of this blog or ao3 account, i'm definitely still fond of it.

but what does all this mean in terms of content? i'm not really sure. one thing is certain- i intend to write for dps again. i actively have been, in fact. ive been working for a while on a long dps fic and am probably around 1/3 done with it, but im holding off on uploading it until it's completely done specifically to avoid leaving people hanging with a WIP. i have absolutely no idea when it'll actually be finished, but i am really excited for u all to read it.

as for the current dps WIPs i have? unfortunately, i don't think i can say they're getting finished :(. we'll kick it when i hit the ground (anderperry tumblr au) and the whole "being dead" thing (ghost neil au) are both still in the very early stages of their stories and sadly i just don't think i have the energy to finish them. i'd be more than happy to talk a bit and summarize what i had originally planned for the stories if anyone would like that, but i think the stories themselves are probably done for now. as for the neil perry is not okay series, another long, full-length fic like there will be light is definitely a no, but i'd say there's a good chance of me writing a one-shot or two at some point.

in general, i'd say other than the big dps fic im working on, expect any future dps fics from me to be short one-shots that are much lighter in tone. probably still some hurt/comfort cause that's my jam, but less of the heavy angst i typically wrote lol.

lastly, i do want to just take a minute to say thank you to everyone who's still reading my dps fics. like i said, a lot of them represent a pretty bad time in my life, but i can never bring myself to hate them or resent them sheerly because of the outpour of love and appreciation they've received from the fandom. even if im slow to reply to comments sometimes, i promise i read every single one and they mean the world to me. while it's hard to think about some of the things i was going thru while writing things like there will be light, those fics provided a safe place and a source of comfort for me to work out my feelings and find solace, and nothing in the world makes me happier than seeing my writing create the same space for other people. from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone that's even clicked on and glanced at a fic of mine. it means the world to me <3.

while it does make me really sad to say that i likely won't return to some of the writings i put so much love into, im really proud of some of the things ive been working on lately, and i hope you all will enjoy it as well! if not, that's ok too, im eternally grateful to anyone who's gotten something out of any of my past work too.

TL;DR:

unfortunately, any WIPs i had for dps are probably going to remain unfinished. if people would like to hear a summary of what id had planned for the remainder of any of these, id be happy to provide that. while i am taking a break from the dps fandom, i still love dps and would be happy to chat about it with anyone that wants to, and i do intend to return to creating dps content- i just don't know when exactly that will be. thank you from the bottom of my heart to anyone who's enjoyed my content in the past, and im wishing you all the absolute best. carpe diem <3

[haunted-creations]

Hi, I was wondering if I could request a oneshot of either Palpatine (Star Wars) or Yuugo (The Promised Neverland) x Female reader.

I don't know exactly what fandoms you write for soo...

If you can, could you make it strictly no-fluff? Thank you! xx

{I’m not part of either fandom and I’m mostly a fluff writer lol, but I wanted to challenge myself a bit here. So sorry if this is OOC (I tried my best with research) or not exactly what you expected. I opted for something more morbid since you said no fluff. Feel free to request something more specific in the future if you’d like something different! Though I most likely won't be considering either fandom from here on sadly. I’ll update my rules and start a fandom list soon, that'd make things easier lol. Thanks for being my first request ♡ uvu}

Broken Reflection - Yuugo x Fem!Reader

[Warnings: Brutal deaths (not elaborated but heavily implied and vaguely described), blood, PTSD symptoms]

[Summary: You stumble upon a rather strange and rude man after being separated from your friends.]

~*^*~

You tried not to let panic overtake you as you ran. Your group that you’ve been traveling with for a couple years now had been attacked by wild demons as you guys searched for a new shelter. The last one was unfortunately compromised when one of the more intelligent demons was spotted nearby, and in an increasing series of unfortunate events this drove you guys towards the more wildly populated side.

In the chaos of the attack a demon blocked you from running away with others of the group and you had no choice but to run away on your own. You weren’t able to grab a gun but you did have a hunting knife in your pocket at all times. However, you weren’t so sure that the knife was going to be put to use before this demon would tear you to shreds. Its long, weirdly spider-like legs had a lot of range to it. Honestly you couldn’t believe you were outrunning it as well as you were.

Despite knowing it was a bad idea to do so, you looked back for a brief moment to see how close it was and suddenly found yourself falling. It didn’t take you long to figure out you were tumbling down an unforeseen hill. A grunt left you when your body was stopped by a tree at the bottom and you painfully noted to yourself to watch where you were going next time. The temptation to lay there was great, but you knew you had to get up and hide. Wheezing slightly, you quickly pulled yourself up and stumbled behind the tree to lean against it and listen. There was a shuffling noise from atop the hill and you hoped with all your being that the demon wouldn’t consider you worth the effort. It seemed luck was finally on your side because nothing came down as you waited. Finally convinced you were clear, you started making your way through the forest with your hand on your now bruised side that was making it difficult for you to stand up straight. Hopefully your friends would somehow make it out this far to find you.

As you continued your walk, you listened out for anything nearby and made sure to look all around you, sticking close to the trees in case you had to hide or attempt an emergency climb. You weren’t really sure where you were headed and if the quiet atmosphere of the forest told you anything, it’s that it was likely you were getting farther away from your friends.

A pessimistic air was starting to settle around you when you suddenly heard a gunshot and instinctively ducked behind a tree. Your confusion quickly turned to hope when you realized it could be one of your friends out there and you cautiously made your way towards the noise as it happened again. When you got closer, you slowly peeked your head from behind a tree to see someone unfamiliar to you in a trench coat standing with their back towards you. From their stature it seemed to be a man, and he was looking down at the unmoving remains of one of the demons that had attacked earlier. He crouched to get a better look at it.

“Great, those idiots are leaving marks all over you guys. Guess I’ll have to wait it out until they’re all captured or dead.”

Your eyes widened as you ducked back behind the tree. In your haste though, your foot slipped over a tree root and you caught yourself while flexing your side in the process. An involuntary cry of pain left you.

“Who’s there?!” you heard the man call out. “Come out now and maybe I won’t shoot you.”

Cursing yourself, you lean against the tree as you move into view. You finally see the man scowling at you with a pistol raised in a gloved hand. He looks a little older than you expected, white streaks giving way in his short black hair as well as stubble on his chin. How long has he been out here? Was he alone?

“Don’t shoot, please,” you struggle to say as you raise your free hand.

“You’re one of those people running around the forest, aren’t you? Causing a lot of trouble for me. And you’re injured too,” he tutted as he lowered his weapon. “Well whatever, those monsters will take care of you.” He turned to leave, but you called out to him.

“Wait! Can you help me find my friends? We got attacked and separated.”

He turned back to you and snickered. “That’s not my problem.”

“Please, I’m sure they’re nearby. We’ll all get out of your hair once we get together.”

“If they’re not dead already. I heard some screaming earlier, so a good chunk of them are probably dead. You might as well start a life on your own or lay down and die. Either way, I don’t care. Have fun out here.” 

“Please!!” you shouted.

He raised his gun at you again. “Shut up! Don’t think just because you’re a girl or injured, I won’t shoot you. I’d probably be doing you a favor honestly.”

You lifted yourself from the tree and took a step forward with tears pricking your eyes. “Fine, just a general direction. That’s all I’m asking for. They’re all I have left in this world and if I lose them all, I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t want to be alone. Please.”

To your surprise, the man began to tremble slightly. A strange far away look crossed his face and his free hand reached for his head.

“Stop it. Stop saying those things. I can’t…” He groaned in pain and it quickly turned into frustrated cries as he started hitting the side of his head. It was a baffling sight and you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“Are you ok…?” you asked as you stepped closer and touched his shoulder.

“Stay away!!” He swung out his arm and knocked you to the ground.

You curled up into a ball assuming he was getting ready to shoot you, but then you heard voices calling out your name. When you looked up, you couldn’t believe your eyes as you saw your friends running towards you. The man in front of you spun around and aimed his gun at them, stopping them in their tracks.

“Don’t move!”

“We should be telling you that,” one of the older ones of your group stepped forward with his own gun drawn. Everybody else that had guns followed suit. “Put the gun down and we won’t shoot you. Unless you did something to our friend there. You ok?” he called out to you.

“Yeah,” you called back. 

You looked up at the man to see that he calmed down from his episode, but he was clearly irritated with the situation. Eventually he cursed under his breath and raised his hands.

“I don’t want trouble. You can have her back, I was just passing through when I found her.”

“Alright. Just stay there and don’t move until I say so,” your friend called back. He gestured at the rest of the group to keep their guns drawn as he walked over to you two. When he helped you up he noticed how much you were clutching at your side.

“Did he hurt you? I swear to god if he hurt you,” he pointed his gun at the man, but you stopped him.

“No, he’s not why I’m hurt. Everything’s fine, let’s just go.”

The two of you were about to return to the group when all of a sudden, screams filled the air once again. The monsters were back and some of your friends were already in the process of being slaughtered and eaten while others were trying desperately to hold them off.

“Stay back!” your friend pushed you behind him and started firing at an approaching demon.

“You gotta be kidding me,” you heard the unknown man huff as he fired at demons behind you guys.

It was absolute chaos all over again, but this time you had to stand there and watch as the demons picked off your group one by one in visceral ways you never wanted to see happen to a human being much less the people you held dear. You couldn’t stand it.

“I have to help them,” you muttered as you took out your hunting knife and moved towards them.

“No stop, what are you doing?!” Your friend grabbed hold of you and pulled you back.

“I have to help them!” you cried.

“You can’t, you’re gonna die out there! We gotta go, we can’t hold off-”

Blood splattered across your shirt and you looked down to see a spider-like limb inches away from your abdomen, but going straight through your friend in front of you. You screamed as he fell to the ground and your mind was starting to fall apart. It was too much. You couldn’t think anymore.

“Help…” your friend reached out in your direction as the demon started to feast on his lower half, life quickly draining from his eyes. “Help…her…”

The words didn’t register with you and you were beyond conscious thought at this point, but it didn’t matter. You weren’t the one he was looking at. 

The unknown man grabbed hold of your arm, forcing you to run with him. Originally he was just going to leave all of you behind to die once he cleared out a pathway for himself and when he did, he regretfully turned back and witnessed what happened to you. It was against his policy to take on dead weight, but seeing that scene play out overrode his rational thoughts.

After a moment he started to come back to his usual senses and finally decided he was going to drop you if any demons happened to follow you two. But to his surprise, they didn’t, and pulling you along wasn’t as much of an effort as he expected. It seemed that although you were gone mentally, your physical body was still operating enough to follow him. Eventually the two of you made it out to the wasteland and back to the underground shelter he resided in without any more issues.

It took a little more effort to get you down into the shelter. You weren’t very responsive to the point that you just kind of stood there staring off somewhere he couldn’t hope to reach. He knew that look and it made him sick to his stomach to see it reflected back at him like that. Once he got you settled into one of the rooms on a bed, he closed the door behind him and fell against it. His hand reached for his mouth trying desperately to hold back his dry heaving. Memories of himself over the years holed up in his room crying and scratching at the walls were trying to resurface and he tried his best to shake it out of his head.

“No, no, no, don’t do this, I can’t do this…” he sobbed to himself.

He didn’t know what to do. Taking care of himself was already increasingly difficult with each day that passed by, but taking care of another person? Especially someone just about as damaged as he was now? There was no way he could keep that up. As he shifted his sitting position, he felt something poke him in his pocket and he took it out. He stared down at the pistol in his hand and then turned his head towards the door.

Should he do it? It would be quick but the aftermath would be a lot for him. But it would be a mercy, right? Who would want to live the way he has? He certainly didn’t and from how desperate she sounded earlier, it didn’t seem like she wanted to either. So it’s fine…right?

A pain started up in his head and he sighed as he felt exhaustion start to creep in. It’s not like he had to decide right now. Maybe he’d give her a day or two to see if she’d come back to her senses, but he was doubtful. He tried to push it all out of his mind as he got up and started walking towards his own room. But he couldn’t help but wonder.

Was she going to pull herself together, or end up another broken reflection?