#i havent been on it that long to be able to tell
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💖 Alchemy 💖
Finished art from this week’s video! Idek how long it’s been since I got the chance to sit down and do some fully rendered character art, but revisiting Alchemy for this one was SO refreshing! (Tho y’all’s kind comments on this vid have been even more so, tysm 💖)
[DO NOT EDIT OR REPOST TO OTHER SITES / ACCOUNTS] ♻️reblogs are lovely tho!♻️
#artists on tumblr#abd illustrates#heartless#alchemy valentine#i didn't expect people to enjoy this piece so much#but several peeps in the comments on youtube have been saying like “woah there's so much style improvement in this one!”#and lemme tell y'all that has me like QwQ YAY?! 'cause i havent been able to make a proper piece like this in way too long#so i felt like i mighta regressed a bit if anything sghfksdf#all that to say-- yippee! im rlly happy bout that QwQ#its been very heartwarmin to see that kinda feedback bless y'all
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look guys i very strongly disagree with the "trans men hold privilege over trans women" point of view and i'm finally able to articulate why:
I think trans men don't hold privilege over trans women, because privilege is kind of a consistent thing.
Like, bear with me: I'm an abled person. I have privilege in relation to disabled people. Because, if me and a disabled person are in a Situation where this distinction is relevant in some way...I'm literally never gonna come out with the worst hand. Never. No matter what the situation is. This is a consistent fact.
Now, when we talk about different transgender identities, I think this gets more shady, because the "who has privilege in relation to who" is a relative statement. One example I saw of people explaining why in their view trans man have privilege over trans women is kind of like this: Imagine there are two passing and stealth trans people, a trans man and a trans woman, in a workplace. Then, it comes a coworker, being blatanly misogynist. Regardless of their views on trans people, in this situation, the trans woman is gonna get the worst of it, in relation to the trans man, because he will be viewed as a man.
It makes sense, and I don't think this hypothetical situation is inaccurate or anything, but I'd also like to point out why it doesn't work as a good point to why transmascs have privilege over transfems. Imagine we change about any variable in this situation. Let's say the trans woman is closeted as a guy, and the trans man is openly transgender. The misogynist coworker then would very much target the trans man in their points, especially if they are particularly transphobic. Now imagine both of them are out and openly trans, with the bonus that now both the man and the woman are gnc. Depending on other specifics, the misoginyst coworker might be bigoted to just one or both of them.
Like, do you see? In different situations, the different trans people have the worst hand. So that doesn't mean that because of the first case, trans men have it generally better. Because there are many kinds of trans men, and simply not all of them have privilege over trans women. In some cases, they might even have it worse precisely because they are trans man. So the privilege the trans man in the first example has is not a consistent thing over trans man! Maybe it's common, I don't know, but when we compare it with someone who has real privilege, like me, an abled person, I ain't ever encounter myself in a situation where I'm having it worse because I am abled in comparison to someone who is disabled.
That's why I think trans woman and trans men simply don't hold privilege over one another, simply because it varies. It depends on who the trans men and women are, it depends in what situation they are in, it depends on the people around them, it depends of so much!!! So saying that trans men have privilege over trans women sounds simply surreal!
I think that, also, the different patterns of the situations in which trans woman have it worse are important to be discussed, and that's why we have the word Transmisoginy, to discuss these issues pertinent to the nuanced oppression trans woman face (and on a similar note, that's why it's also important to have fucking words like Transmisogynoir, because a black trans woman's Situations will be different from a white trans woman's Situations and it's important to to recognize that). THAT's why I also think that we need words like Exorsexism and Transandrophobia, to identify the patterns of situations where trans men have it bad precisely because they are trans men and not something else or because nonbinary people have it bad precisely because they are nonbinary.
SO, in short, my opinion on the "trans man have it generally better than trans woman and that's why they have privilege" debate is that trans man don't generally have it better than trans woman, but some trans man in specific situations have it significantly better than trans woman and that in other situations trans woman have it significantly better than trans man and that is basically a case-to-case scenario and that's also why we need the specific words for different shapes and faces of transphobia to better understand these cases and why x happens with y at z situation. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
#maybe i havent been able to convince you of my point#but hopefully you can see this issue in a new light i guess?#my two cents#transphobia#trans#transandrophobia#trans community#transmisoginy#intersectionality#long post#like hopefully i've been able to get my point across XD#like do you see my point#i hope the examples at the beggining help#like#it doesnt matter that im a black abled person and that is a white disabled person#in a situation where the disability or lack thereof is the Relevant aspect im gonna have it way better than this hipothetical disabled pers#so i have privilege over them regarding my ableness#and similarly in a situation where our race is the relevant aspect they are gonna have it better than me#in situations where these OVERLAP you can't just 'tell' because of like#Nuance. if you know her#im not trying to say trans woman in situations like the first example or some fandom stuff and online interactions-#-don't have a significantly worse hand than the transmascs#im saying that this kind of stuff is a case-to-case scenario#and this so-called Privilege is just.#inconsistent.#and when you compare it to like Abled Privilege or White Privilege it justs...#you can sort of just see the difference#i get it that this whole debate is based on the fact that “in general; men have privilege over women” so i actually see where it's coming-#-from. but i also think that the transness aspect is something that just adds so much nuance to this issue that the previous Truth-#-just can't apply with good accuracy anymore
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A comic for my incredibly self-indulgent AU: Chai joins Vandelay for half a day.
Click for less blur
The rest of this dumb joke comic is under the read more
It was in his robot arm
#hi-fi rush#hi fi rush#hfr#hi-fi rush spoilers#kale vandelay#hi fi rush korsica#hi fi rush chai#kale x chai#mainly for the following comment#'I want that defect!' you sure do kale you sure do#i didnt put much thought into the outfit except that chai is disappointed that there isnt any spare sleeve to rip up for his robot arm#i think the least plausible thing in this au is that chai was convinced to do a coffee run#he's bigger than that#i havent bothered making neat looking speech bubbles and text in a long time so hope they dont distract too much#if you've been around my blog for a while you'll see all the two conventions i keep using in my previous works#but i just wanted to draw something fun#im wondering if the many panels images are able to be zoomed into easily? i cant tell with how tumbls is nowadays#'tis mine#im not doing this again my eyes are super tired
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In my SGA watch-through I finished "The Intruder" and then jumped ahead to season 4 (bc i missed Carter and Todd) so I'm back to continue season 2 now. I picked up with "Runner" and WOW this is a really good episode!?
First of all, I always forget that Lorne is such a sassy bitch. Right out of the gate he has NO patience for science of any flavor (a position he theoretically holds constant on through "Remnants"). (There's also a scene at about 5 min, where Sheppard runs up a few steps before turning to talk to Caldwell, just so he can have the high ground on their confrontation and I love it.)
But there is so much in here I never really paid attention to before that sets up Ford and Ronon as narrative foils. Ford is fleeing his friends in search of Wraith. Ronon is fleeing the Wraith in search of friends. Ford is alone to protect himself; Ronon forgoes the company of others to protect them. Ford is so utterly convinced of his own correctness in his theory of persecution he doesn't actually hear a thing McKay says to him, while Ronon (who has actually been persecuted) is so eager to believe everything Sheppard and Teyla tell him that he actually gives them a chance. Ford is obsessed with the shortcut advantage of the enzyme giving him increased strength and wants to use it to "create a whole army of supermen"; Ronon has fantastic strength and combat abilities he got the hard way. Ford says getting the enzyme is "the best thing that ever happened to me"; the next scene is Ronon having a flashback to when not-quite-dying of Wraith was the worst day of his life. Ford accuses McKay of giving up on his friends when it seems rather obvious that Ford is the one who has given up on letting his friends help him; and then Ronon, having just undergone surgery without anesthesia where he allowed someone to help him, tackles Ford to the ground because he's not going to give up on these people he just met.
In the end of the episode though, both Ford and Ronon are unable to return home.
#I was never a big fan of ford's character but I really wish they'd continued with some of this set up. it would have been really great#eternal stargate rewatch#aiden ford#stargate atlantis runner#ronon dex#I havent been able to watch any stargate in so long 😭❤#Also 1 minute in literally i was like OMG IS THAT TESLA?!?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME PARRISH IS TESLA!!?!!?!!#I mean I wouldn't have cared before I watched Sanctuary but I'm **DYING**#I now need 10000 fics about Tesla secretly infecting Pegasus with a new strain of vampires ❤❤❤
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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i get so fucking mad and incellic about vocaloid its not even funny
#I HOLD MY TONGUE. BECAUSE I WONT BE A PUBLIC MENACE I WONT BE A PUBLIC MENACE I WONT BE A PUBLIC MENACE#BUT I AM UNIRONICALLY A FUCKING CRANKY OLD MAN#GRINDING MY FUCKING TEETH I SWEAR TO GOD.......#me when i literally help run a project sekai youtube channel and i genuinely think project sekai has done irreparable damage to society#i hate that fucking game yes i play it yes i am continuing to train (still a scrub rn im tryna get my 32s down)#but its not me being an anti fan or cute or whatever when i say i hate that game#i Genuinely Hate It.#i hate what it stands for i hate what its done to vocaloid community i hate how it doesnt respect the classics i hate the fucking humans i#HATE FUCKING EVERYTHING#I LIKE PLAYING THE GAME BECAUSE IM A RHYTHM GAMER BUT OHHHH MY GOD#NO FUCKING RESPECT. NO *FUCKING* RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ITS BEEN HOW LONG AND YOU STILL HAVENT ADDED A SINGLE LAMAZE P SONG?#NO DEADBALL P?#WHERES SAIHATE. WHERES SING & SMILE. WHERES VOC@LOID IN LOVE?!?!?!?#TO MY MEMORY I REMEMBER LUKA LUKA NIGHT FEVER WAS ADDED BECAUSE IT WON A FAN POLL ASKING FANS WHAT SONGS THEY WANT ADDED TO THE GAME.....#YOU TELLING ME IF IT DIDNT WIN YOU WOULDNT HAVE ADDED IT ASAP? ITS A HOOD CLASSIC!!!!#i hate it i hate how theres humans so when they commission songs they HAVE to make the songs able to be sung by humans#BECAUSE THEY NEED TO MAKE SURE FUCKING MAFUYU OR WHATEVER CAN SING THAT SHIT#I HATE IT I HATE HOW WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY LIKE PROJECT SEKAI 80% OF THE TIME THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE VOCALOIDS#AND CARE ABOUT ONLY THE FUCKING HUMANS!!!#DO ANY OF YOU PEOPLE CARE ABOUT HESOKURI WARS?#DOES ANYBODY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT LUKAS TUNA!!!!! DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT RINS TACTOR?#now everybody who likes vocaloid doesnt even know kiyoteru. YOU GUYS ALL KNOW KAAI YUKI BUT NOT KIYOTERU?!? BITCH HE COMES IN LIKE A PAIR#WITH HER#WHO YOU THINK KAAI YUKIS SCHOOL TEACHER IS?#i hate project sekai so much it has such a bad heart#i hit 30 tag limit getting started talking about pvs oh my lord im sorry i said i wouldnt say anything and exploded#this is the tip of the iceberg though okay guys im sorry i am a fucking freak about vocaloid#didnt even talk about how modern vocaloid also has greatly shifted its songs to be abt ocs rather than the vocaloids in aus n shit which is#fine in balance. but the shift is too great imo it feels like vocaloid is being used as a gimmick rather than apart of the songs soul
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#ik that i need to be honest with my doctor and tell him i havent been taking my meds…#but what if i lie instead and somehow fic it myself#its just what if like i tell him how long i havent been taking them and he decides that i dont deserve them??#which isnt likely and would b a very shitty thing to do that i think legally he might not b able to do but#what if???#i might lie a little and tell him but say its been a shorter amount of time than it actually has been#dude idk but im starting to feel like possibly i might have an episode soon like it feels like one might b coming on and im scared tbh#like idk at this point theres not much i can really do except make aure im getting sleep and continuing to go to my lifting classes#but ya idk#i need to figure out how to get back on track with my meds but im scared to talk to him abt it bc i Just started seeing him#i also start therapy with a new therapist tomorrow and thats scary#but maybe i could talk to het abt it idk
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are you okay?
hi, I am! thank you. really scary days but I'm okay 💗
#i cant really tell how long its been#cant get in or out of where i live#also no wifi at home. phones out of service... so i havent checked social media since.... idk#tuesday? wednesday?#im really lost#so much to catch up 😔#about what happened#been listening to the radio all way#week***#still havent been able to see everything#roads bridges everythigs gone#it's crazy#anyway i dont know when im coming back online but im okay thank you to those who reached out <33#I'll answer asap (but it might take me a while hehe)
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yeah i can't come to class today, sorry. yeah. yeah. it's cause my hair's too long. mhm. gonna put me out of commission til the weekend at least
#fuck it's too long it's too long it's too long hate hate hate hate hate kill kill kill#i am resisting the urge to cut it all off with scissors but just barely#i havent been able to go home lately and my clippers are there. fUCKK#ITS TOO LONG SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE#i cant stop thinking about shaving my head again or at least cutting it short#it's summer i should have short hair summer is for short hair FUCKK THIS IS WEIRD#i feel like a sad stonermetal mushroom. in middle school. and NOT in a cool way if that wasnt clear!!#hhhhhhhhgnnnghfhn fuckk i feel so gross and weird#i didnt even do anything why are my spoons gone FUCKK. SHITITTTUJ DAMMIT#this is so dumb i literally skipped my second class for no reason and i have so mucj work but i didnt even do anything#i shoudktn be this out ofnit. euhhhhhghh#and i have a new friend and he really really wants to hang out and i dont hav.e the spoons#but i feel so bad.. and i have other ppl i wanna hang out with but i cant bring nyself to readh out#and even if they reached ouy i probably wouldnt be able to respond and i have to go see a show thid week too#bc theyre doing into the woods and i love that shit and i promised id go ans ive been lookign forward to it for months#but i cant. bwuhhhhhhhhghhhh#and i cant just tell the new friend i don't wanna hang out twice this week (one is the play) bc i blew him off all last week#i really dont wanna hurt his feelings but i really can't communicate like he wants me to. and ive kinda said that but still#mmmmmmnnnnuguhghh hes only doing it bc i mean a lot to him but it's moving so fast ans I can't really be there forbhim the way he probably#deserves.. i should probably eat skmething idk. eughhhhhhhhgghhghhggh. melting into a pile of slop and slurry rn#just gonna sink into my bed and not sleep and feel bad. hoorayy
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i need all of you to know im inviting you to come pick mulberries out of my family's mulberry tree on sunday. we can climb really high and swing on the branches and throw berries at each other. and then we can lean against the trunks and snack on half the berries we picked before bringing them inside to my mom, who'll make jam out of whatever remains.
#hi im yearning for this a lot actually right now if you couldn't tell#very legit i think there are some mutuals who i would give my address to if they wanted to actually come#i havent been able to go hang out in the mulberry tree for so long. my sisters never want to anymore.#itll probably be wet but idec#shh ac
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Had another stupid semi-nightmare about my piece of shit brother...... Can he just kill himself already please, so that way at least in my dreams I can be like "wait you're dead this doesn't even bother me" lol
#its like once a month or so that he shows up in my dreams amd its been this way for years and i hate it. i hate him.#a few years ago they changed from 100% being nightmares any time he showed up to slowly being able to stand up for myself to him to openly#telling him to fuck off and not letting him interfere with whatever i have going on in the dream. and now its pretty rare that they turn#into full blown nightmares but it does happen. more often than not when he shows up in my dreams now he acts as sort of a roadblock or an#uneasy presence that emotionally keeps me from doing things or something like that. just a fucking nuisance.#i havent spoken to this guy inover a decade and as of about 6 months ago he lives on the other side of the country now. im so beyond ready#to never think of him again and never dream of him again and i genuinely hope he kills himself for what he did to me and the way he treated#every woman in my family. hes already dead to me i guess but i do wonder how my dreams will change once he actually dies#while im on the topic - i do have him to thank in a way for my outgrowing my suicidal thoughts when i was younger...... when i was like 19#or so he lived with our grandparents and me for a brief time and he pissed me off so much that i vowed to myself that i was going to live#at least long enough to see his grave. i wanna live in a world without him in it someday. that spite has kept me going lol
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coughing so much bc of one annoying tickle in the throat that the bus driver asked if im okay so now i cant cough but its driving me insane
#bloodletting#i cant tell if we are sick and i know its like my duty as a person to make sure im not but i cant do anything about it rn#will ask our mother about a covid test tomorrow ugh wanted to make appointments but need to not be maybe sick#we havent felt able to actually take care of the body for so long and now we have to adjust#im willing to rot personally (or wish i could die and revive and be fine) but jaskier has been weirdly good for us
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been getting back into mother 3 after All That and every time i see the sunflower field im like. whoa. that's so neat. i am Not overthinking it !
#i am just making this post to ramble about the sunflower thing again kjfhdg#it's almost been a whole year. i was in the middle of replaying mother 3 last june#i was at the sunflower field scene and decided to stop playing for the night#and that is the same night ''so long nerds'' was uploaded#not to be dramatic or cliche or whatever but. feels very ''on purpose'' ya know#destiny or whatever#the game was a huuuuuuge turning point for me in coping with life and death which i was. Very Bad at before!#and im sure you can tell i still am *(@&*(&*%(&^*#i havent been able to touch the game since but im getting better at it. been watching some videos n stuff about it#i still havent picked it back up tho. idk if i can sit through that cutscene again#i already kinda associated techno with sunflowers bc of the whole rising sun stuff. the staff being a sunflower#but the fact that i was in the middle of that part of mother 3 made that association so much worse#now they're just like. the death object for me. remembrance flowers. idk actual flower meanings but that's what they are to me now#idk if anyone remembers this post but like a week or two after his death my aunt tried growing a sunflower#it was unrelated to me and that whole thing. just another coincidence#she passed this week. so the sunflowers are really back on my mind rn#that's why i turned off the inbox was bc i really didnt know what to do after that#her whole side of the family died this past year#i hate to vent or whatever but i feel like if i dont mention it i'll explode so i've buried this under many other tags#congrats if you read this far i just wanted to have that out there i guess bc i've talked about her a lot#the cats are fine if you remember them. orangey has a home and my uncle is watching thomas#grief#grief cw#i dont remember what ppl tag that as#chat#i'll probably delete this later but im also gonna reblog all the cats n stuff again bc i just want ppl to see them
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And even then I'm not going anywhere until the very last second, possibly only by being dragged off kicking and screaming. I've been on here too long to go quietly. Or with any dignity.
every fucking year we get another "no seriously tumblr is dying for REAL this time" scare and at this point i'm just taking an exhausted drag of a cigarette and staring out the window knowing damn well you are not even going to get me looking at another social media platform until either every last one of my beloved mutuals jumps ship to the same alternative or i log on here one day and there are actually red flashing lights all over my dash and an alarm blaring and a robotic voice telling me This Site Will Self Destruct In 24 Hours
#this is legit the longest ive been on any social media#i had a myspace back in the day for all of a week before i abandoned it#i spent about 6 years on livejournal#a couple years on fb before jumping ship and deleting my account#never bothered with twitter or instagram#but ive been on tumblr for something like 14 or 15 years even if i havent actively posted for all of that#but i have been here lurking#tumblr is the only place ive felt comfortable and able to control what i see on my dash since lj#i do miss lj sometimes#it definitely wasnt the same as tumblr but i liked it there...until it died#i hope i dont have to find another social media because as far as i can tell tumblr is the last bastion of anonymous social media#and thats part of why i stuck around#that and being able to curate my dash and actually have things show up in chronological order#i cant stand the whole algorithm “best/most relevant posts first” thing other social media forces on users#i pick what and who i want to see not the algorithm!#also im such an unhinged feral little gremlin now from being on tumblr so long that i dont think i could integrate on any other social medi#it would be like releasing a feral creature into a busy mall or something#possibly amusing for bystanders or outsiders#horrifying for the patrons and staff#and stressful for the feral creature who would probably end up scurrying around haphazardly and scratching and or biting several people#before finding a safe dark hole possibly made by destroying walls in order to hide and using whatever it can find to build a nest#after which it lives on whatever food court leftovers it can scrounge up and haunts the mall terrifying staff and patrons alike#until it becomes part of local legend#a cryptid that teenagers use to scare each other and college students use in hazing rituals#and uh...that up there is a good indication of why i will not thrive on other social media#but im leaving it because its funny to me
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#i love the salon im working at rn so much dont get me wrong#i feel so incredibly lucky working there for many reasons#and im going to preface this with im on my period and feeling off anyways#so anyways im interning for like 2 years at this salon before i get on the floor so theyre training me rn to be able to intern for the#bigger stylists. so the girl whos been training me went on vacation and she put me with someone i havent worked with before#and this girl was really nice and i liked her other than some of my minor mishaps that lowkey sent me over the edge but thats not the point#anyways i worked for her for 6 hours until she left and i got to go home and we get done and i start to leave and she says something along#the lines of im great and doing great but i need to work on keeping time and basically interrupting stylists to let them know a client is#there. and she told me i just need to be more confident in myself. which is nice and it was a good and valid critique buy ooooo bitch. oooo#i held it together long enough until i got in the car and started telling my bf about it and i cracked in the middle of speaking and just#bawled my fucking eyes out. idk if its bc it was the most direct someone has been with me since ive only been there for 2 weeks or what but#it sent me over the edge so hard i ended up getting home and eating my lunch and sleeping for 4 hours LMFAO#it just kills me that she wasnt even mean but she said it in front of other interns like thats not deeply embarrassinh#*embarrassing anyways fucking christians BFBFNNCHDKEJEUSKS i work for her again thursday so hopefully she doesnt make me feel dead inside#by the end of my shift again ): it just was nooooot a good day for me#self
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my grandma randomly sat me down and explained some of the trauma she’s went through and
#I feel so ungrateful sometimes for bein so unhappy despite not having to go through half of what she did or even my other elders or#ancestors#I’ve definitely gone through shit my friends and peers havent for sure but not to her extent#it felt good to be able to be there for her cause I can tell there’s some things she’s never told a soul#and she feels comfortable with me#but I wish she could get more consistent therapy#I can’t imagine having to live with that and hold it in for so long#thoughts#I also randomly got sad at the thought of her not bein here one day#I feel it more strongly usually with my parents because they have so many prominent health issues and so young#I usually see my grandma as strong and lively#but lately she’s been slowing down and obviously getting up there and that worries me :(#like I’ve never seen her as like a normal grandparent#because she’s so young at heart#but lately it hurts to see old age finally creep up on her in a noticeable way
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