#i haven't studied for one of them at all
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yall i am so fucking exhausted, my 4 hours of sleep is catching up to me and there's actually no amount of aderall in the world that can get me through another 3 hour lecture
#cookie speaks#end me#i have midterms tomorrow#i haven't studied for one of them at all#and it's... finally hitting me#right now#in the middle of a project#that im probably fucked#but it's fine everything is fine#im doing well in that class#the one im not doing well in>#?#probablu fucked there too#but oh welll#i've done as much as i could
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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so 😬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships#where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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i need to work on my chengxian fics....
#one of them isn't even chengxian really it's mostly just a character study of jiang cheng and his relationship with wwx#and i've built it up in my brain as my magnum opus which makes it impossible to complete#“oh danny you ship chengxian?” they live in my soul and take me apart piece by piece#it's not so much that i ship them romantically it's that they're two skeletons in the same pair of ruins#who were so close together where they were buried that when archaeologists found them#centuries later when half their bones are dust#and the world around them has changed#they are reconstructed as one body. wwx's femur to jc's pelvis. jc's skull to wwx's c1 vertibrae#the version of their relationship in my brain is too weird for platonic cheng&xian likers i think#they are yuri to me#in the way that yuri is about the love between two people as ambiguous and ephemeral and all-consuming#they have the same relationship that you had with your childhood best friend who you don't love anymore but you also Do still love#just because it's part of you just because it's in your blood#even though you haven't talked to them in years#and who you think you could have married if you had both chosen just one thing differently.#“danny that's an insane thing to say about a pairing you just said you don't ship romantically” well maybe you just don't understand love.
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There's an English class on Golden Age detective fiction being offered next semester but the prerequisite for it is the intro to literary study class required for all English majors (which I haven't taken because I'm in a hard STEM major and don't have much time for electives, which means that I have to be really picky with my electives and only go for stuff I like AND doesn't have an awful workload) and also even if I did have that prereq, I wouldn't be able to take the class because it's at the same time as one of my major reqs. And also I'll be in two labs next semester and one of them is pure hell so like I literally don't have the time to take more than 13 credit hours (as tempting as it is to keep up my streak of taking 17-18 every semester even though it's been like really pretty bad for my social life and hobbies). Sigh. (Pressing my hand wistfully against the glass) maybe someday they'll offer the class again
#.txt#at least i had a blast in my sci-fi class this semester#i don't talk about sf on this blog because that's what my secret main is for but guys i LOVE sf you should read more sf#i'm currently sitting at an a+ in that class and my professor has been giving me SUCH good feedback on all my assignments#he used one of my short essays as the class example (which has never happened to me before!)#and also asked if he could use my creative writing midterm project as an example for future classes#and on the last day of class he quickly went through some powerpoint slides recapping the class#and on one of them he had a drawing i submitted as part of a different creative assignment :)#also we read a book from one of my all-time favorite authors in that class AND he visited our class too which was absolutely insane#won't mention the author's name because his books comprise like half the posts on my main. i'm insaaaaane i'm craaaazyyy#currently trying to figure out which topic to write my final paper on but i will definitely be writing about that book#english classes are actually such a morale boost#the only reason i'm not an english major is because that would actually for real kill me#i'm good at writing essays but the process is actually agonizing and i'm a ridiculous perfectionist when it comes to writing#so combining that with poorly medicated adhd means that i almost never turn essays in on time#and spend way too long suffering over each one to make sure they're as perfect as i can get them to be (unattainable standard)#and then they also always end up going way over the word count#for my crime fiction class in the spring i wrote a 19-page final paper about decagon house when i only needed a minimum of 8#and i honestly could have written even more but i had to stop myself because the paper was already like 2 or 3 days late#and i had been staying up until dawn every night trying to finish it#so basically i can hardly handle having ONE english class#having to take multiple and turn in so many essays on a regular basis is a literal death sentence#i'm taking 2 upper level classes for my other major (haven't declared it yet though) this semester#and i have to write final papers for both of them :') and the instructions are super vague and they're due in a WEEK#one of them is SLIGHTLY more clear because i just need to write about the results of my research project#however. i was unfortunately only given 3 weeks (one of which was thanksgiving so basically i was only given 2)#to design and execute this whole project#and i got a little too ambitious (as i tend to do) and even though i ended up cutting out a lot of the stuff i wanted to do from the projec#it'll still definitely take ages to finish (conducted my experiments yesterday and spent 11 hours in that building. hell on earth)#and that's on top of needing to study for and take 3 final exams...
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It sucks there aren't more JP>EN translators in the GG community because it feels like I'm just pulling shit out of my ass half the time but no one's ever written me a strongly worded letter about how one of my translations is entirely wrong so it must be at least slightly convincing shit haha...
#textpost#I've been studying Japanese off and on for something like 6 years now and I still feel like an utter beginner at it ngl#The more popular my translations get the more this kinda weighs on me to be honest#There's a certain level of quality I feel obligated to maintain and if I make a mistake a LOT of people will see it now#It's not like when I first started doing these where maybe ~30 people max would see them#Some of these have had tens of thousands of views. My Twitter page's gotten 100k views in one day after posting a translation before 😬#I think I might take a short break from translating after I post GGCA 06+07 and focus on studying more before starting 08#Chapter 08 is a really long one. It'll be easy to clean but there's a bunch of text in it#I still enjoy doing these and don't plan on stopping 100% btw. Can't stop when I haven't even gotten to the Denki Akiba chapter yet lol#But it wigs me out a little when I think too hard about all this haha#Need to become more reclusive.... Make it so you can only get my attention by hanging up bounty posters.... (JK JK JK JK)
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does anyone have any badger puns i'm dying over here
#for the Danny Phantom Shapeshifter AU#i tried looking it up but all that comes up is wisconsin puns#& the only one i've thought of is a single sett pun#for the record Danny can turn into a european badger. not an american badger#i just think they look neat. also they're more social & are generally bigger i believe. & more thoroughly studied#despite this i'm fine with whatever badger pun i can get at this point#do shows with a ton of puns have to have one guy on the team who's really good at coming up with them cuz like this is so hard T-T#los campesinos new album save me.................................#i'm also procrastinating writing this shit cuz like who knew writing the aftermath of biting the shit out of someone is so difficult#i've only written werewolf stuff (Black Dog & the WWAUs) so biting has either been a thing they avoid or has an easy aftermath#just being able to bite people with the only consequences being they have a bite wound is like. a whole other thing#in FOtPoD Danny doesn't even bite people i don't think? i think he may bite someone one time during a fight or something#that shit is a million words so i can't remember everything that happens#& in DIM & Quickhatch i haven't written enough of those to really say#& even if they bite someone i feel like that would have Much Bigger Consequences#i need to go back over Finding the Fox. for research
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it's midterms season. i'm so tired. there's so many art stuff I need to get done and one of our instructors seem to get off at assigning as many projects to their students as possible
#the kicker?#its a minor subject#as they always are sksksks#my major subjects i get since obvs its there to improve artistic skills#one minor subject project is totally my own fault#sjnce i decided to ne extra by making a miniature house out of cardboard with as much detail as possible#the other minor subject is a good ol exam which i haven't studied for#and basically haven't learned anything bc he's such a boring teacher 😭#like i kid u not the most monotone discussion of all time#and then theres this one minor subject#where we have at least 5 things to submit#all of them involve vidoe editing animation art and more art projects#and i cant be askkkk#oh did i mention i also have work LASKALSKSLS#im so drained creatively#ramblings
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There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point
#personal;#yeah fatphobia is bad but dont you dare act like people aren't asking disabled people to medically alter themselves every day???#you compare bariatric and gender affirming surgeries in such a way that makes the latter sound easy to get??#and in fact don't at ALL go into the struggles for transition care except for a nod at FL while comparing us (trans people)#to fat people like our lives are Much Easier instead of /oppressed by the same white colonial structures that enforce fatphobia/#but go off i guess#i was giving a lot of leeway when i was just side eyeing the comparisons with racism bc i'm not fat and i've not experienced enough racism#to say either way on those#but the MOMENT she started using trans and disabled comparisons i about lost it#and also randomly started calling it antisemitic (sure as much as it's violnt to all poc) in the last chapter with nothing supporting it#like you can tell it was written over the course of the last like 2 maybe 3 years without enough space to breathe#i have listened to a book on writing memoir so often i've got some of it all but memorized#and i agree that if it's more recent than a decade you're probably too close to be writing it#and this author's writing mostly about during pandemic times. this is more a journal and call to action than memoir#but its not polished enough to be a proper call to action bc there's not much it gives you to do other than 'stop dieting & dare to be fat'#which isn't an effective call to action when only those most harmed by fatphobia can act on it you know???#lots of complaints#3/10#edit: reiterting that i'm not saying it'#*it's not anti-semitic; just that a good published work of this kind doesn't make last second claims and certainly not ones#they haven't already explicitly supported in the text#i feel the need to clarify with the very very vocal rise of anti semitism esp in the left#like yes there are anti-Semitic ties. she didn't name them. just said 'they exist lol' and this went to print#great study in poor research slipping onto shelves bc topic matter is relevant
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akjsndglidfligauhglsighoiurdfhg
#one final left 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫#i am procrastinating studying#my motivation to study is nonexistent atp lmfao#which is bad that this class is last#bc idk anything in this class#😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀#and the slides aren't great and there's not a great straightforward way to study in my brain rn#i need to write down some stuff i can do#i i have like a lil les than 14 hours 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀#why was this class so bad for me it wasn't even like that bad like the prof wasn't horrible#just not for me ig 💀💀💀 i just could not pay attention to him everything he said went right in and out thru my ears no comprehension#hm so how do i reread all the chapters or something in like < 10 hours or smth lmfao#also what do i even mean reread as if i read them all the first time slkjnfgdfigbpiurghpqireughdjfhsglfgjhaldkjfh#my last two finals were ok like ........ on par for what i expect lmfao and i think i did as well as i was gonna do on them#but this one#it's fucking unfortunate timing that it's last and day after another final bc i would rly appreciate a lot more time to study for this one#and i cant manage time so i haven't rly started studying for it lmfao why would i study before the day before 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩#anyway whatever#my chinese song playlist hitting hard rn it's so good and so nice to listen to while studying bc i dont get too distracted lol#and the songs are so GOOD i've been bonding more w my roommate over it XD#i think it's kinda funny how my music this week is gonna be so different than normal lol on airbuds since it does weekly music stats#out of nowhere just only lindsey stirIing and chinese songs lol#and then mxmt/oon in btwn there bc she also chiller music#jeanne talks
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for once I would like to be struggling academically bc my brain actually struggles to comprehend the material and not bc I have some dumb*ss sh*t going on in my personal life
#I got club stuff eating all my time#had to become the RA at my dorm#all my friends dropped out of my program so all those relationships are evolving#one of my best friends for the past two years is acting badly and I may have to stop being his friend#have to address some long standing medical issues#ofc my family issues have not gotten better at all#need to start therapy again and ik my therapist and I don't click but hey she's covered by insurance and I'm tired of looking#stupid beginning of the year bureaucracy to deal with#ppl at my dorm went to a big party and now everyone is slowly getting sick#president of my club is assigning me more work and the only solution is to tell her to do it instead but then SHE will have too much work#so I guess we both gotta suffer#plus I gotta lead my own team this year and get back to some assignments I told them to do#missed my German class 2 weeks in a row and have my first class tomorrow REALLY BEHIND bc I haven't studied German since May#also haven't been keeping up with French#and I really gotta do well academically this year#and probably find a job#and go to the gym#and not end up in the hospital again#university shenanigans#original post
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have my first day of classes tomorrow im so nervous...
#um.txt#im in a small gc for people i met at the induction but none of them are in my first class tomorrow...#i think i spoke to one person who might be taking it so 🤞🏻 and its a queer studies sort of thing so hopefully that'll be nice#but i haven't properly been in a classroom in like 5 years 😭 been stress cleaning all day to avoid thinking about it
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lol my student teaching supervisor sent me my feedback video because he observed me friday and it was twenty minutes long and he essentially said that he was disappointed in me and that i did a disservice to american poetry so i'm feeling pretty good about myself
#lol this week sucked#he also said that it looks like i put a Little bit of effort into learning about whitman before teaching him but i honestly think i did#more than that and now i just feel like crap lol like ik his masters was in american lit and content knowledge isn't my strong suit but i#have PAGES of notes about whitman and tried to learn SO MUCH about him and did SO MUCH studying of the poems we read#idk ik i need to work on my content knowledge but like some of my eng ed student teaching friends and i were talking friday and he's being#like really harsh with everyone like has made almost all of us cry? one of my friends is considering not even going into teaching anymore#because his feedback was so negative like dude you weren't like this last semester? idk it's just hard to feel good about yourself and your#progress when your supervisor says he was disappointed in what he saw idk maybe i'm being overdramatic... i like to think i'm really#receptive to feedback both positive and negative but this one hurt ngl ik the class discussions weren't the best but they all hated poetry#and i was dragging as much as i could out of them and they're all restless because we haven't had a day off since january and idk. well#hopefully dickinson goes better ig - God i'm so scared for my mentor teacher to watch the video because she always does and she's great and#i don't want her to be disappointed in me lol#sorry just had a mini breakdown👍🏻
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today's hungarian class was pure torture. please save me bsdrewatch
#nora learns hungarian#rant incoming#WHY do people sign up for uni when they don't want to study?#today was a practice class. where we practice what we learnt in language class.#and ALL the people who skip the language classes come there#they don't know the grammar. they haven't learnt the vocabulary.#so we have an exercise and they just sit there. waiting for the teacher to take pity on them and tell them the solution.#the teacher doesn't even call on me anymore because he knows i know it. so i don't get to practice at all#to most of those people hungarian is their only major#is it that hard to go to the one important class you have??#we have a test on friday#ill ace it as always and theyll all sob about how hard it is again#i dont want to judge them. i rly dont. i dont know their circumstances. maybe they have something more important.#BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE
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I finally set my last notebook to rest, so it’s time for a new one (Patreon)
#Doodles#It took a long time! Having three concurrent notebooks at a time will do that#I'm used to only having two at a time but I think three is going to become my new regular#One for sketches - studies and random concepts and scribbly comics to be cleaned up in SAI at a later time#One for more finished paper art - not necessarily Fancy but lineless y'know lol a bit more proper as far as I'm concerned#And then a true free for all lol anything allowed! Basically a stream-of-consciousness captured to page#For now I've got the latter two covered I'm currently vetting the slightly-more-focused lined notebook#It was from a bit ago and I was being silly at the time haha but the first one is from a new brand I'm testing out#It feels good! It's grippy but not in a scratchy way and it accepts graphite and pigment well#I haven't tested pen bleed yet tho that'll be next on my list#The second is an old standby - not my favourite but one that is very easy to acquire and I know what to expect of it#It's also the same as my free-for-all notebook but that's really neither here nor there lol - I'm not likely to mix them up#The only thing I've really noticed so far is the new brand takes a bit more cleaning because its margin line bleeds a bit more than normal#It's not bad but I can see it getting annoying - pros and cons#The second two are just normal sona thoughts#I miss my spider. I've looked out at where I buried them every day since but it feels more manageable#It feels more approachable like I'll be able to talk about it with the sellers when we're able to go to see them#I do hope they don't think less of me for it...#And then the last haha - my Vargas immunity is currently basically zero so any outside mention of them is overwhelming#I got about three lines into a fic and had to stop lol - I still really want to read it! I just don't trust my brain with it right now#As if I still don't think about them all the time lol ♪#Plus now I have my hammock again (♥!!!!) so I've got my reading spot back!#Reading never felt so good <3 <3
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watching legally blonde rn and why is everyone being so horrible to elle?? it's not just underestimating her it's full-on malicious. my girl deserves better
#i'm so offended on her behalf she's literally in law school with all of them#especially the one with the phd in women's studies like bffr you don't deserve that title#i had an stressful week and i'll have two stressful months so i'm just doing nothing today#also if you come at me 'omg?!?! you haven't seen it before?!?!' no i wasn't born when it came out#if you come at me because i'm an ace attorney fan and i haven't seen saint patron woods before then that is valid and i'll allow it#what is this post? don't ask me#rant#girl if she gets together with warner at the end i'll instantly combust#i really wanna see the play tho how similar is it with the movie?
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#pastelartchallenge on twitter from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf2Nsbh12Mo&t=1s
Didn’t do the first one cuz I recognized who it was nearly right away and didn’t feel like doing a from memory challenge lolol
The second one was really fun to follow along with, I based her crop top off a vampire squid cuz I thought that’d be cute. Also I discovered octopus have a sideways eyes! So I put something like that on the bows and in her eyes. I made her hair two twintails cuz they mention the hair has a bow “kinda like Miku” and twintails is what I got from that lolol. I also made the top of the ponytail into that round up-do cuz it kinda looks like the bulbous part of an octopus head.
I think she turned out really really cute!! I hope you like it!!
#pastelartchallenge#I dunno what else to tag this lmfao#haven't been the most satisfied with the way I draw faces recently#but I feel like this one turned out really cute!! Not quite as expressive as I want#but I'm working on it lolol#art rant incoming#I wanna add more stylization#but with all the more simplified styles that I really like#I realized in my very professional studies of their work#that part of their stylization is to really downplay certain facial features or even get rid of them entirely#the most expressive pieces especially#cuz if you get rid of certain features or make them smaller#you can exaggerate the other features without the face feeling cramped#Was referencing a specific artist whose art is just so expressive#and I tried applying what I saw to my own work but it didn't#well#work#lol#and I came to realize that what I liked so much were the expressive mouths they had#but to get these expressive mouths#this artist drew really small noses or none at all#so the mouth could be all over the place without looking cramped#A lot of stylization seems to be like#you have this much space#the face#and you have this many features to choose from#and a lot of other people will start losing features and amplifying others for their purposes#but I'm over here like refusing to let go of a single feature in my grubbie little hands#34#ezil art
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