#i have to… be a good student…..
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I miss my wife, tails. I miss her a lot
#2 days without drawing shadow milk or burning spice#good god.#i have to… be a good student…..#had a 4 hour study sesh last night till like 4 am and i was like oh i … deserve to comm art of my oc x canon right….#NO I DONT#THAT IS THE DEVIL. FROM THE BIBLE. SPEAKING TO ME#nothingburger#anddksnsskskjffbfb
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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Vibes based grading system.
(for @epistemologys, who wanted some post-canon, teacher WWX)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Thank you for participating in the raffle and for your patience! This was a really fun prompt!#I always loved it when teachers had bonus questions on assignments and tests. Especially if they were fun!#WWX strikes me as the type to have bonus assignments - but also his own chaotic system of what does and doesn't get a point.#Note; not arbitrary. It makes sense to him and anyone who's been around him long enough.#When one has to deal with a lot of things to grade it really does make a difference when something (positive or negitive) stands out.#(especially papers...oh god...shared essay topic grading is a special hell)#He would care that they understand the principals of what he's teaching. He'd also value students thinking outside of the box.#WWX would be hard to argue and *win* against but if the attempt is good enough? I think you'd have his respect and a little bonus point.#I like the idea of post-canon teachers wangxian. Grading papers together can be a love language.#Perhaps it is just a beautiful ending for a character to be able to rest and have stability.#This isn't what being a teacher is like. But in comparison to how WWX was living before? Peace and quiet.
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Danny goes to a new School
So! When Danny got expelled from his High School, it wasn't really a big Suprise. He had missed for too many days or just walked out in the middle of Class, and his grades were lower than anyone else in the school. It was just a matter of time really.
When confronted by his Parents, he had just claimed that it was the constant ghost attacks getting to him (not a total lie) and that he was sorry.
Well, his parents tried to help.
After hearing about his supposed Fear of Ghosts, they decided that it was a good idea for him to go to school somewhere outside of Amity Park, so he could focus on his Schoolwork and not be distracted by the constant Attacks.
Of course no School wanted to accept a problem student like Danny, so they were forced to look into alternative schools to find one that would accept him. And they did! So they had Danny pack his bags, promise to call regularly, and shipped him off to his new School.
HIVE Academy.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#HIVE Academy#Danny goes to HIVE Academy#Suprisingly they have an actual School System at the Academy#The Headmistress would not have her students be undereducated#They were Villains not Savages#This takes place before Brother Blood ever takes over the School#Danny actually really loves his new School#He was accepted because he was seen as a troublemaker who could easily be converted into a Villain with Ghost Hunter training#I mean he was raised by Ghost Hunters so he must have been trained for it right?#So nobody knows about his Powers#They think he's just a really good Ghost Hunter#Danny mostly keeps his head down#He will occasionally commit a major crime or go on a mission for extra credit#But that's the extent of it#The Titans are extremely confused
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I love talking to rabbis as a recent conversion student because the interaction goes something like, "you're converting? Now?! At this time, at this moment in history?!". And they always talk about this influx of jewish convert students they've seen recently, and it's like...
There's this level of respect I get from rabbis for converting at this point in time, but... Has there ever been a good time to be a jew in the last thousand years or so plus? I'm imagining that rabbis and jews in general back in 1492, back in 1290, back in 1349 would have said the exact same thing. So, really, there is only a time to be a jew. Maybe it's not a "good" time, yes, but it is a time. And to me, that's good enough
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#and to me i *know* that being a jew has historically Not Been a Good Time. i don't ask that of my conversion#i would convert if i had to run one day. in fact i count on that as a possibility#that's why i like simple judaica. if i have to run away with my people it'll be easier with simple bare-boned judaica#i would convert even in the middle of a desert. in the middle of exhile. on threat of pain and death#because to me being a jew isn't about it being a 'good time.' it's about being true and honest about what i need to be#if i were born this same way a thousand years ago i would make this decision again#where you rest; i will rest. where you pray; i will pray. when you weep; i shall weep. and where you die; i will die#i can only speak for myself but i've seen other students with a similar mindset#so in truth it's not the timing that motivated me. it's deeper. it can't be intellectualized. it is a primal feeling - something soul-deep
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how to scare a goody two-shoes ravenclaw 👵🏻
#based on a scene from chap 4 of my fic ( lowkey its kinda giving “or worse... EXPELLED”)#inferi and spiders and dark wizards?? w.e.....SCARY LIBRARIAN THAT MIGHT GIVE YOU DETENTION?? now THATS spooky#someone commented on this chap recently and i always re-read/skim chaps that ppl comment on LOL#so when i read this again i had to draw it (even tho it doesnt actually happen and seb just THINKS about doing it) but this is how itd go😊#choccyart#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#agnes scribner#one of the few things i have in common with clora is being a simp for authority...i loved being my teachers favourite LOL#even if i was a bad student i won them over by being the class clown LOOL#idc if my teachers think/knew i was stupid (i am) but they MUST think im funny and thats all that mattered🤡🤡🤡#for clora its the opposite tho ig LOOL she needs the teachers to know shes a good student BAHAH#being pegged as a delinquent is the worst thing that could ever happen to her😱😱😱😱 rip
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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Just a reminder that in much of the northern hemisphere there is Good and Exciting Stuff to be found right now (early Summer) in your local ponds and waterways.
#salamander#newt#animals#wildlife#just good vibes tbh#Lissotriton#Lissotriton vulgaris#I keep telling my students to go out looking for all the tiny toadlets that are emerging from the water right now#yet they are stubbornly showing up to class every day as though they're not taking me seriously#what a privilege to get to behold such gentle and delicate creatures#just a few minutes' walk from my house#please go pond mucking#my wife and I take our son to this pond regularly and just spend some hours dipping and seeing what we see#I have been blown away by the diversity and richness#every time we go out I find something new and exciting#and my son gets closer and closer to falling in completely#but it is all part of it
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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
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a frustrating thing about battle royale stories is that they take place in a world where there's a massive popular appetite to see torture and death, the existence of this appetite is the main moral evil of the story (so far so fine), and the author tends to pretend this is also a huge problem in our world so that their work can stand as a Commentary On Real Evil. when the world their actual readership lives in has the opposite problem – too squeamish about seeing torture and death and coercion and collectively agrees to sequester it out of view so that nice things can keep being available for under five dollars at the grocery store
#rambl#i did it! i put a 5 paragraph essay in drafts and boiled it down into 1 paragraph on my second try!#anyway. i followed up the gorey litrpg series with a nonfiction book by a james c scott student who worked at slaughterhouses#and man did that book help immediately crystallize my vague moral discomfort with the litrpg series.#I love fictional gore and torture. I *do not love* real life gore and torture. that the latter preference is widely shared is evident#in how hard the meat industry tries to abstract it out of view & make filming illegal & hide the killing *even from slaughterhouse workers*#(it's divided up so people have minimal visibility/responsibility)#imo this is not a feature of our moral universe you should ignore or signflip if you want to write about good and evil and capitalism!
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we are SO back
(click the image for better quality, see below for me w dip n pip and also THE ABSOLUTE HELL ON EARTH I HAD DRAWING PHIL)
yknow what gets me? their heads are really big. like I know proportions. I get it. but. you ever hug someone and realise their head is like twice the size of yours????
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struggle. why on god is he so difficult to draw
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#dan and phil#tit tour#dnptit#dnp#terrible influence tour#my art#this is the first fully rendered piece i have drawn! in a full year! horrible things started happening to me! BUT WE ARE SO BACK#THE SHOW WAS SO COOL AND GOOD I LOVED IT I LOVE THEM#genuinely so glad i went. less glad abt the exam i had to do in the same 24hrs (3rd year uni student moment) BUT who cares#when i met dan for wad it was the day before i moved to uni. basically tradition that im juggling a million things at these#I JSUT SHOWED THE ART TO THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR INSTEAD OF MY TICKET#anyway. phil was hell to draw dan was very easy. clothing folds were fun. wish id had more time for the background/text composition#i also got their outfits exactly right apart from dan wearing different socks (???)#might do some more dnp drawings so. if youre still reading keep an eye out#lots of love xoxo
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#peter capaldi#pearl mackie#:')#had to watch the solar eclipse on nasa's livestream today#i had it going for most of the morning for my students#or i'd have it in a little floating video in the corner of the screen during our lessons lmao#it was still very fun#one day i'll go see a total solar eclipse with my own two eyes#hope you all had a good day today :')
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delivering peaceful judgement
#the look he used to know#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#trey clover#Broomquet Birthday#fanart#everyone is so nice towards him but he is really ruuuudee at timess#i can't have it#even tho nrc full of 'evil' students; they like saints when it comes to handling sebek#i don't know how they learnt it#not even ex-delinquent deuce snapped at him on sebek's halloween vignette#is there extra class at nrc that i don't know#is it delivering lesson about how to handle sebek when his mouth starts to open ???#why are all the other students are so good at this ???#no one actually ever yells back at him#even tho we all know that's not the best way to go against him#how could no one be tempted to ???#whhy are they all soo matureee ????#they actually know from the start it's useless to go against how stubborn he is ??#not even the mobs ??????????????
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Went to apply for a job, midway through I learned that the person hiring is someone I respect very, very much in my field (who I have never spoken to), then saw the application site was closed (How Did I Miss the Deadline for this Really Cool Job!!!!) and then saw that it was the website's fault and that they were taking applications through LinkedIn DM's. So I did the premium trial & sent my reel in, and they told me they're sending it to recruitment/leads and that it's a good reel!!!! And then the person I have respected for years sent me a friend request!
I'm beside myself!!
#Honestly?? I'd love this job but to have this professional who I've really admired for years tell me my reel was good enough#to send forward to people in this company#If they tell me I need more experience or more professional development I won't even be mad!!! I'd be like you know what sir!!!#You sure as Hell Know Better Than I Do!#I legitimately owe so much of my success to what this person very generously provided to students at affordable prices. So much!!#I'm sure the friend request was to prevent me from having to stay on premium to speak with them but STILL!
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Yet another jewish privilege: Stores putting sales on holiday items because (apparently) management has no clue when "those people's" holidays are.
They put chanukah candles on sale for $0.71 a box the week before chanukah
#jumblr#meme#personal thoughts tag#those stores wouldn't DREAM about putting xmas stuff on sale which makes this extra funny#look if stores keep doing this then... i hope they never look up when the holidays are frankly#i am a COLLEGE STUDENT. let me be cheap 😭😭😭#tbf thaose stores have notoriously cheap judaica#i got my shabbos candles for a couple bucks and i'm good for like... six weeks now#honestly if i were a manager i'd do that on purpose#just make everyone think that nobody'll buy them anyway so we should just put a sale on it#when all along.... it was THE WEEK OF CHANUKAH THE WHOLE TIME (evil laughter commences)#edit for the first tag: i meant putting xmas stuff on sale DURING the xmas season. the day after xmas is fair game ofc#and i respect that. get those sales. jews apparently get them 24/7 unless it's a jewish store (because they know better)
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