#i have to say everything with such nuance

[doberbutts]

With this latest round of discourse being "trans men shouldn't complain about being kicked out of women's spaces", I felt the urge to write up a relatively long post regarding the topic, as I feel it is a long tangled mess and involves a significant amount of people simply talking past each other.

To begin, what is a woman's space? I ask this, because "women's spaces" often fall under one of three categories: medical services, social services, and social gatherings. Of the three, trans men need access to nearly everything if not everything included within "medical services" and "social services". These things often need to be considered co-ed anyway, but are still considered "for women" and often are labeled things like "women's health" or "women's defense". Social gatherings- things such as book clubs, concerts, festivals, and other similar outings- can have a nuanced and complicated history when it comes to the inclusion, or exclusion, of trans men.

As an example- I am a binary, gay trans man who has not yet been sterilized. If I become pregnant and need to seek out social services, I must do so via my provider's "Women and Babies" department. I am neither of those things, and yet regardless of whether I am completing or terminating the pregnancy, I must label myself a woman in order to receive care. If I wish to have a pap smear, receive birth control, or investigate my chances of ovarian and cervical cancer, I must do so via the "Women's Health Clinic". I am not a woman, but I must label myself as one in order to discuss sterilization options. Many trans men who have had their gender markers changed prior to sterilization have reported difficulty even booking an appointment, as well as difficulty convincing their insurance to pay for this appointment due to a discrepancy with gender markers vs gendered care. Many have discussed the realities of being a pregnant man, whether they remained pregnant until their child was born, or whether they terminated said pregnancy with an abortion.

It should come as no surprise that the statistics for trans men receiving quality gynecological care are abysmal. It should be equally unsurprising to hear how many trans men have died from botched abortions, untreated miscarriages, infections and cancers of the uterus and cervix and ovaries, and complications during pregnancy or birth. We belong in this space, despite it being labeled "for women", and the only thing pushing us out has done is quite literally what's been killing us.

This is, of course, not even taking into account the numbers of trans men who have been forced to become pregnant via their husbands or families as a means to detransition them, and those who have become pregnant as a result of corrective rape. There is a saying among trans men of my age- it isn't "we all know a guy this has happened to", it's "which of us haven't experienced this? who among us doesn't fear this? who will it happen to next?"

Which brings me to my next point: women's social services. As with women's medical care, nearly everything labeled "for women" as a social service must be inclusive to trans men. Shelters for domestic violence survivors, rape crisis centers, self defense classes, family planning, these are all things that honestly should already be co-ed. But, many times, they are exclusively targeted towards women. I understand why, I do. But with trans men being statistically more likely than cis women to experience the need for these services, it seems a cruelty to close their doors to a vulnerable demographic reaching out for help.

Where should trans men in crisis go? Shutting the door to us without addressing the reason we need to access these resources gives us a single ultimatum: detransition, or die. Go back to being a woman, or die knowing the likelihood that a woman's name will adorn your headstone, and "daughter, wife, mother" will be said in your obituary. Much like the medical services, this incomplete answer has lead many trans men to their deaths. Whether by their own hands, or by their attackers'.

But there are other social services out there that perhaps are not as dire. Women's scholarships, colleges, all girls schools. Girl Scouts, women's sport leagues, gym memberships. Trans men don't need access to these, right?

Well... is the trans man in question out? Has he been living as a man, or is he still closeted? Is it safe for him to come out? Does he pass, or has he just bought his first binder and given himself his first buzz cut? Is he living under the control of his parents, or is he able to freely decide for himself the type of person he'd like to be and the type of life he'd like to live?

You see, I was a Girl Scout once. And, if we are to believe to our core that trans men are men even before they know the words "transgender", this means I was a boy in a girl's space. I didn't know that being transgender was an option for me at the point where my troop disbanded, and another leader to replace the first within my local area was not found until after I had aged out.

But also... I was in 7th grade when my troop disbanded. Two years later, I would learn the word "transgender", and suddenly everything would make sense. Two years later, I would come out to my parents and my sisters. To put this into perspective, I graduated high school in 2010. The Boy Scouts officially allowed cisgender girls and transgender people of all genders to join all programs in 2019.

I was not expelled from my Girl Scout troop. My leader simply stopped showing up to meetings, and my troop disbanded to go our separate ways when leadership could not find someone quickly enough to replace her. But... if this had not happened, I would have been a recently out transgender boy in a girl's social service, still wearing push up bras and frilly shirts because that's all my parents would buy me until I became an adult and moved out and had a job with my own money to re-purchase myself a wardrobe. Indistinguishable from any of the others, outside of what went on inside my own mind.

I would not have been accepted into the Boy Scouts, if Girl Scouts had been taken from me as abruptly as it was from a different transgender boy in the same state I was born and raised. Which would have left me with... nothing. Neither. And the only reason I even joined the Girl Scouts was because I had wanted to join the Boy Scouts and the local troop had refused to allow me, because they had labeled me a girl.

I don't believe I'm the one that coined Schrodinger's Gender, but I do reference it often. In this situation, one is both a boy when it hurts, and a girl when it hurts. Even if that gender label changes by the second, the point is to use your gender and your assigned sex to hurt you.

But then, why do these services even have to be gendered to begin with? After all, Boy Scouts just updated to be The Scouts, and has removed (on paper) the insistence on gendering.

Well... I certainly agree that the majority of gendering these services is at this point a concept that needs to be reformed, but I'm unconvinced that we will be able to completely integrate without addressing the reason they were segregated by gender in the first place.

Women's gym memberships are gender segregated for two reasons. Women and girls- and anyone labeled as women and girls, regardless of true identity- are frequently not afforded the same access to resources as cisgender men and boys. Women and girls- and anyone labeled such- are frequently at high risk of predatory sexual behavior and physical violence. Both of these problems are symptoms of a larger system of misogyny at play, and both of these problems directly affect trans men especially those who have not transitioned in a way that makes them pass for cis men.

Regardless of the truth of my identity, the reality is that I was seen as and treated as a girl when it came to physical fitness, and thus barred from the same activities freely offered to the boys. Regardless of the truth of my identity, I have experienced predatory sexual behavior from cis men as young as 8 or 9 years old, continuing past when I came out and began to transition socially.

If the problem is not addressed, cis women cannot re-integrate with cis men. But, additionally, if the problem is not addressed, the choice still remains clear for trans men. Detransition, stay closeted, or go without.

A common complaint of trans men is the invisibility and erasure our demographic faces. It should be easy to see why this happens. The problem of a misogynistic society is one that continues to this day, and without addressing the problem we cannot hope for success in creating a more inclusive space. At the same time, trans men are being pushed out and isolated as they realize they must make a choice.

As for social gatherings, such as a woman's retreat or a woman's music festival? Of course, it may sound odd to say that a trans man should feel welcome there. But the truth of the matter is the majority of the trans men asking for the ability to stay are trans men who have been within that space for years already, prior to coming out, prior to realizing some things about their genders, prior to taking their first steps as men.

I'm pretty good friends with an older butch who told me that I am the first person they ever told that they were a nonbinary man. This person is in their 50s. They're married. But the wife doesn't like it, and they love their wife too much to cause friction in the relationship, so they keep it to themselves, and they keep quiet, and they don't say anything about being transgender, but in their head they aren't a woman. This person is not a woman, by their own insistence. Should this person be forcibly ejected from their local lesbian community, which they and the wife helped form decades ago? Should they divorce their wife, since that would make her not a lesbian anymore?

What harm is it, truly, to allow this person to stay? Social isolation kills people. The trans man suicide statistics are just as abysmal as any of the others I've mentioned here. Forcing someone to burn 20, 30, 40 years of their lives and their friends and their achievements because they are finally living as themselves is a deeply hurtful and isolating experience.

The majority of trans men asking to be included in these spaces are not trans men like me- who never really jived with the idea of womanhood and distanced ourselves as much as possible the moment we saw the opportunity. They are men like my friend, often existing outside of the binary, often with a deep love and appreciation for womanhood despite realizing that perhaps the label does not fit them as well as they once thought. They often have many years of connection, entire lives spent intwined in these spaces.

What good does it do to chase them out? What harm does it to do let them stay?

[hoshifighting]

Olá Lyla Recently i saw a tweet saying that for us girls when reaching the climax the best is to take deep breathes instead of tensing up and then i saw someone say that the best thing that a man has ever told her was "breathe baby..." so... how would experienced seventeen members "teach" you this while in naughty time???? love you girllll <3

seventeen asking you to breath before an orgasm

A/N: hello my luv!! ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ it may sound a bit repetitive, but i tried my best to give each one a nuance! 👍 AND YES!!! this is the sexiest thing a man can do, only after being being loyal 😩

seungcheol: "baby, slow down. breathe with me." voice so soft, but his grip on your hips is firm, making sure you stay in rhythm with him. he watches you, eyes dark, waiting for you to listen. when you finally let out that shaky exhale, body melting just the way he needs, he grins "yeah, that’s it. just like that." he’ll keep guiding you through it.

jeonghan: "shhh, there you go, breathe, my love." he smirks at first when he notices you tensing, then he’s softening, his thumb brushing over your lips, coaxing them open. "breathe for me, sweetheart." he hums in satisfaction, kissing the breath right from your lips like a reward. he’s soooooo patient.

joshua: "baby, take a deeeeep breath. i got you." he’s soooooo reassuring, holding you close, rocking into you at a pace that forces you to feel everything. "don’t rush it, just breathe." and when you finally do, when your body stops fighting the pleasure, he leans in, whispering, "that’s my good girl."

junhui: "you’re holding your breath, baby. relax, yeah?" he notices immediately, and his hands are everywhere, smoothing over your body, making sure you feel him, not just the overwhelming build-up. "trust me, just let go." and when you finally exhale, he smirks, feeling the way you melt beneath him. "mm, there she is."

hoshi: "breathe, baby. just feel me." the second he feels you start to lock up, his hands tighten on your thighs, keeping you wiiiide open for him. "don’t fight it, just breathe."

wonwoo: "baby, you’re shaking. slow breaths, okay?" he’s so gentle about it, barely pulling back to look at you, his hands guiding you through the pace he knows you need. " just relax, love." and when you finally exhale, unclenching, letting yourself have it, he murmurs, "there you go, that’s my girl."

woozi: "deep breaths, baby. i know it’s a lot." he’s actually teasing you tho!! but his voice is cooing and warm. he can feel the way you’re holding back, so he leans in "don’t hold out on me. just breathe, let me take care of you".

minghao: "no, no, baby, don’t run from it. just breathe." his hands LOCK you in place, not letting you escape what he’s giving you. his voice is so confident, like he knows what’s best for you. and when you finally obey, letting the pleasure fully wash over you, he smiles lazyly, satisfied. "good girl."

mingyu: "breathe, sweetheart, i got you." sweet, but there’s an edge to it, a knowing grin as he watches you struggle to keep up. he knows it’s too much, knows you’re about to cum, but he holds you steady, whispering soft reassurances until you finally let go.

seokmin: "don’t be shy, baby. deep breaths, you’re doing so good." he’s so tender, so encouraging, his kisses never stopping as he guides you through it. "told you it’d feel even better."

seungkwan: "you’re holding your breath again, love. breathe with me." he actually demonstrates, exaggerating a deep inhale, waiting for you to copy him. and when you do, when your body responds exactly how he knew it would, he groans, dropping his head to your shoulder. "fuck, that’s it."

vernon: "babe, don’t fight it. just breathe." he actually grounds you. his lips find yours, his hands roaming, making sure you feel safe, feel wanted. when you finally let yourself sink into it, he smirks, whispering, "knew you’d feel even better if you listened."

chan: "deep breaths, baby. lemme take care of you." his grip tightens just slightly, his pace slowing, forcing you to actually feel each thrust. he kisses you through it, holding you as you finally cum. "see? you just needed to relax."

[daemonhxckergrrl]

[ID: tags reading "Also understand how detrimental to your health it can be. HAVING ABUSE KINKS AND DETRANS KINKS AND RAPE KINKS IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!! # SORRY BUT THERE ARE MANY MANY CASES OF CNC TURNING INTO ACTUAL RAPE # PLEASE BE SAFE OH MY GOD PLEASE TREAT YOURSELF KINDLY AND REALISE THAT SEX SHOULD NOT BE HURTFUL # not safe" End ID.]

you come onto a pose about keeping nuance in discussions about kink, and declare a blanket statement like that. on a post that's about wider worldview. the example OP gives as something that should be criticised is so bc it's about how you see POC in a wider context.

two people who enjoy heavy impact play scenes together (a common example given for "bdsm is abuse" type rhetoric) are not inherently viewing or relating to a demographic of people in a particular way. are there straight men into power dynamics where they can hit their partner because they're abusive and sexist and therefore think they should be able to treat any women however they wish ? yes. there are and i wish there wasn't.

are two transfems who have built a longstanding and deep trust, actively work to deconstruct harmful parts of their own worldviews, and still enjoy scenes where one beats the other bloody and bruised, ensuring proper aftercare targeting physical, emotional, and psychological needs, are they engaging in abuse ? is this some sort of secret misogynistic desire ? no, it's practicing kink w/ high awareness of the risks involved. which includes "is this influencing how i think outside the bedroom" and "is this coming from real unexamined biases i have".

now if you're not transfem but have a transfem partner and expect her to embody a dominant role, an aggressive role, then we have an issue. much like in OP's racism example.

you talk about there being many cases of CNC turning into actual rape as if there aren't also many cases of vanilla sex turning into rape.

i promise you, mommydoms aren't all out here secretly wanting to molest kids. you sound like you only saw the part of this post saying "stop assuming all kink is inherently pure" and decided "only my Approved Wholesome Soft UwU Kinks are good and everything else is bad and evil".

and not that this post is asking like, "hey you should rethink why BBC is a porn category"

the elevation of kink and sex into a pure untouchable Good that cannot be criticised is, in fact, not a good thing! kink is - if you'll forgive me - a breeding ground for indulging socially-programmed stereotypes; assigning dark-skinned characters dominant roles by default, and worse, assigning them animalistic, predatory, or forceful roles, diminishing their need for intimacy and care, placing them at the bottom of the rung in terms of sensitivity, receptiveness, and vulnerability, remains racist even if it's in the context of sex and sexuality, and speaks to the way you view and relate to people of colour. it's not a difficult concept to grasp.

[homunculus-argument]

It's baffling that there's now people claiming to agree with you by saying the aphorism is right or actually woke or whatever... has no one on tumblr been in a class where a teacher brings up a statement for students to think, dissect and discuss about? (doing that involves understanding the statement btw)

Like that's literally what the point was. Bringing up a statement and discussing it without being expected to agree with it. Man, I used to hate the "nothing is ever anything at all ever because there's always exceptions and there's NUANCE where is my NUANCE" -people, but considering that apparently the only other option is "everything is always 100% good or 100% bad, it is literally impossible to have a thought and not wholeheartedly believe it"-people, I think I prefer the former.

In the land of the brainless, the half-brained is king.

[xyywrites]

How Readers (sometimes) Misinterpret Authors’ Intentions

1. Intentional Ambiguity vs. Overthinking

Author’s Intent: “I left this scene open to interpretation so readers could make their own conclusions.” Reader’s Take: “This tiny detail about the red mug represents the protagonist’s repressed anger about societal norms.” Reality: Sometimes a red mug is just a red mug.

2. Symbolism Gone Astray

Author’s Intent: “This flower represents hope.” Reader’s Take: “This flower symbolizes death because it withers when plucked, and the author is making a grim commentary on human frailty.”

3. Romanticizing the Villain

Author’s Intent: “This antagonist is morally complex but undeniably a terrible person.” Reader’s Take: “They’re just misunderstood.”

4. When Flaws Are Misread as Virtues

Author’s Intent: “This character is selfish and manipulative, even if they have a charming exterior.” Reader’s Take: “They’re just confident and know what they want!” Reality: There’s a fine line between writing a layered character and readers excusing all their bad behavior.

5. The “Is This About Me?” Problem

Author’s Intent: “This story is completely fictional and inspired by nothing in my personal life.” Reader’s Take: “So the protagonist’s struggles with their mother must be based on the author’s own issues, right?” Reality: Nope.

6. Missing the Subtext

Author’s Intent: “This character is secretly in love with their best friend, and I hinted at it through subtle gestures and unspoken moments.” Reader’s Take: “Why didn’t you just make them kiss?” Reality: Not everyone picks up on the nuances of subtext, and that’s okay.

7. Fixating on Small Details

Author’s Intent: “This throwaway line is just a bit of flavor to make the world feel more real.” Reader’s Take: “This line holds the key to unraveling the entire plot!” Reality: …It doesn’t.

8. Ignoring the Author’s Voice

Author’s Intent: “This story has an unreliable narrator, so everything they say should be questioned.” Reader’s Take: “This narrator’s perspective is 100% accurate, and the author must share their views.” Reality: Narrators and authors are not the same person.

9. Forcing a Moral Where There Isn’t One

Author’s Intent: “This is a story about human nature, not a moral lesson.” Reader’s Take: “The author clearly wants us to see this as a cautionary tale about the dangers of ambition.” Reality: Not all stories are meant to be prescriptive.

10. “The Author Didn’t Mean That”

Author’s Intent: “Actually, I did mean that.” Reader’s Take: “This interpretation is better than what the author said.” Reality: Sometimes readers assume their interpretation supersedes the author’s, and while that’s valid for them, it’s not always accurate.

Once a story is published, it belongs as much to the readers as it does to the author. Misinterpretations are inevitable, but they can also be insightful. They show how stories evolve and take on new meanings.

But if your readers are wildly off the mark, remember:

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

2. It’s okay to clarify your intentions, but it’s also okay to let them speculate.

[longing-for-rain]

Excuse me, I really like your anti Aang posts. I have a question. Several people-such as Overly sarcastic productions-have defended the lion turtle ex machina by saying Aang is the last Airbender therefore he has a responsibility to uphold the air nomad values in a way yang Chen and gyatso didn’t. My problem with that is….why doesn’t the show verbalize this argument?

The show doesn't verbalize the argument because it didn't contemplate it. Justifications like these are examples of fans reading additional nuance where it was never intended. The writers wrote themselves into a corner and took the easy way out like most kids' shows do (and look I love ATLA but at the end of the day, it is still a kids' show).

Personally, I think the best solution to this issue would have been to have Aang address the blocked chakra conflict that was introduced at the end of Book 2. He was unable to access his full power as the Avatar due to personal emotions (attachment) holding him back. It would have made a lot more sense if the Ember Island kiss with Katara was properly addressed, resolving with Aang accepting that Katara doesn't share his feelings, letting that attachment go, and during the final battle, having an epiphany about how it's the whole world he's fighting for, etc. and go into the Avatar State.

Would have been a good message, tied everything together, closed a plot hole instead of introducing a new one, but "hero gets girl" won out.

[myaquarianconfessional]

all the fucking time. so often, so frequently. It's not like what I'm saying isn't important or valid, it's just..... do I have the capacity right now to deal with people yelling at me? nah. do I have the capacity to make absolutely sure that everything I'm saying is 100% fair and nuanced and exactly what needs to be said right now? nah.

delete delete delete..... SIGH.

Do you ever write out a multi-paragraph rebuttal to something and then think "actually I do not want to get involved in this" and close it

[graceofgondor]

since a couple of you (@nectarinesinthesun444 @perksofbeingpoet) asked, I figured it was worth posting

my dps ✨️hot takes✨️

disclaimer bc people get mad: these are just my opinions, if you disagree, that's okay!! people are allowed to coexist with different opinions. this is a post for friendly discussion only. please don't start discourse or block me just bc you disagree, I enjoy the fact that we all interpret this media in our own way. thank you.

alot of people flat out don't understand charlie as a character and mischaracterize him as a result. (hint: if you see him as just the funny one you need to watch the movie again)

I dislike movie knox just about as much as book knox. he's still entitled and selfish, and I don't think he deserved redemption. (I simply cannot see him in a fanon lens, I just don't like him)

I do however, wish he was written better. In that his character became all about chris, and less about his friends, which lost his character a bit, because occasionally I do see the potential.

while i like her more... i dislike chris. I obviously feel bad for what happened to her, but she is kind of a shitty friend if you think about it. she was constantly ditching ginny for boys (ergo: why i don't ship them) and quite literally cheated on her boyfriend, who was in fact, her friends brother.

relating to that, chet may be a meathead asshole just in general, but he did absolutely nothing wrong when it came to knox and that is a hill i will DIE on.

oh!! hey!! we shouldn't joke about the paddling scene!! literally ever!!!

the "except sex" line is taken way too far. it's not (canonically) gay. boys joke about sex. let's move on.

relating to that... i don't fault anyone for shipping anything legal—but some ships simply have no evidence in canon. (knarlie, chrisginny) and I'm absolutely terrified to say that... but it's true

in that same vein, many people mistake charlie's disapproval toward knox's methods with chris (especially the phone call scene) as jealousy—when in reality, it's just that—disapproval. this is a bit of an inconsistency issue, because this was much more evident in the book/original script—that charlie tended to push knox around a bit, especially about that, but regardless it's still disdain.

charlie isn't in love with everyone. he's just like that.

also— sexuality headcanons are also obviously fine. but if you say charlie is bi/gay/etc. ONLY (allow me to repeat—ONLY) because of his flamboyant tendencies, that is extremely stereotypical and rubs me so far the wrong way.

its okay to not like cameron for what he did. obviously he's not pure evil, but people are allowed to dislike a character for doing a bad thing. its not okay to be ignorant, but it is, in fact, okay to understand and still dislike a character.

already went over this kind of, but literally every poet (+the girls) gets mischaracterized and/or generalized on a large scale. like, why is half the fandom convinced pitts is braindead? and somehow, todd is incapacitated and has anxiety about everything?? I feel like the movie makes a point to say that these characters are nuanced and multifaceted, and yet they continue to be shoved into one box like two-dimensional high school archetypes.

[genderqueerdykes]

As a straight guy who's a tad bit of an outsider to all the discourse, specifically lesboys and gay girls Ive seen many people use the argument that they don't understand something as reason to not respect it

If I don't understand something does it not make sense to not jump people over it until I understand it through research and actually talking with the person?

I used to be pretty transphobic and ableist for example, (which I'm not excusing here, I'm bringing it up as an example) until I talked with people. Both learning about people outside of what you hate for them and also learning about that specific part of them does great things.

Maybe I have a more simplified and un-knowledgeable view of everything because I'm not deep into it and just living my own life tho. I don't want to come off as dismissive by saying people need to go outside instead of discoursing but some people need to talk to people!

thank you so much for sending this ask you are awesome! you are exactly what we love to see in the wrold!

agreed. i can talk to people i don't 100% agree with because i'm really just curious as to how they think. i talk to conservatives and queerphobes i run into in person because ultimately they're a person and it's easiest to change someone's mind when you don't instantly attack them and make them feel threatened by your presence. simply put. i had a friend group of 4 cishet men, 3 of which who were conservatives. all 4 those cishet men accepted me as trans and gay (at the time, i wasn't out as bi). they said it was super easy to see me as a guy. it wasn't hard. i changed their minds just by being their friends

honest to god it sucks that people have such thin skin that they're concerned they have to pathologically avoid all strangers no matter what like.i talk to my therapist who i've been working with for 3 years every monday. i talk to my doctors, the other patients, whoever talks to me first, or looks like they need to help. i talk to homeless people on the curb or outside of a store. i talk to people asking for change.

i use public services a lot. i get rides to my appointments from strangers most days out of the week. i talk to people who have crosses in their cars and they're playing christian music. i had a pleasant conversation about how it's never obvious that public assistance programs are there and there needs to be people helping them get into them because if the help is there people shouldn't have to suffer. and then this person revealed they were a republican. they enjoyed talking to me and said they hoped to see me again. it gave me a lot to think about, because i assumed someone that conservative could never be kind to me as long as i don't get too deep into conversations that would cause tension because it's not worth it when you're just going to an appointment. you're not there to debate so you don't and it goes fine.

i have drivers thank me for the conversation all the time. ive had drivers shake my hand. these were people who would guarantee disagree with a lot of my politics or think differently if they found out i was trans but sometimes i just keep things to myself because i don't cause unnecessary drama. you never have to disclose whether or not you are cis or trans. you don't have to turn things into transphobia that aren't. there's just no nuance.

you can silently disagree. silently disagreeing involves going. okay wow i don't like that. and learning how to approach it in a way that, in the future, you can say it out loud without reacting emotionally in a way that temporarily clouds judgment. people just react before they think and it sucks. people are so easily hurt. it's not good. it's not okay that people are terrified of talking to someone who has a handful of problematic behaviors.

I don't want to come off as dismissive by saying people need to go outside instead of discoursing but some people need to talk to people! go outside. you'll see most people have a lot. you'll see that almost everyone has shit behaviors they have to learn because we're all programmed by this society in one way or another. you'll see that everyone out there has a completely unique opinion. meet people outside of your tiny bubble.

you can't profile strangers and then assume you know what they'll say next. it's stupid. don't charge into the situation hostile, flinging insults, misgendering people, attacking them for their identity, attacking them for using a word you don't like and so on. be kind. correct people kindly. treat them like a fellow person. im not scared of cishet men. ive had so many who have been so kind to me.

its just dumb to pathologically avoid people who are good to you because you hate their gender. that's not okay. that's profiling people over gender. stop it

[crimeronan]

just tried typing out a nuanced post about the concept of disability as horror (it's problematic) (it's also, like. sometimes Just Fucking True), but then i realized what's Actually happening is that one of my fingers has degenerated badly enough that chopping it off with a kitchen knife feels like it might provide pain relief. which is putting me in a fucking Mood about bodies.

so. suffice to say. i will Not be having any nuanced discussions of how disability is written in the horror genre. or in mainstream media in general. i can't really do thoughtful back-and-forth, even with people who are contributing positively.

everything i would have said was super smart and correct, though.

[dragomfry]

Artistic Analysis of Saezuru’s Covers (Vol 1-9)

What I’ve always loved about Yoneda Kou’s writing and art style is her subtlety and attention to detail. Compared to other BL styles, her style is not as exaggerated in its emotions. The characters’ emotions are consistently written and drawn very down-to-earth, realistic, and/or nuanced/subtle (besides the exaggerations in comedic moments). Her art style is simple yet detailed just enough to be very pleasing to the eye.

All of her cover illustrations are clever and rife with detail. In this post, I’ll be examining my interpretation on the meaning of each cover’s design up to volume 9.

Volume 1

The first cover is simply iconic. On a surface level, it shows exactly what type of story you expect you’re getting into, so it draws in its audience. But artistic nuances show that there’s a twist to this story.

Yashiro is caught in a compromising position, arms behind his back, resting his head on some man’s bare foot, which indicates his submissiveness. And that man could be any man, not just Doumeki (or the love interest). This emphasizes the impersonal aspect of sex to Yashiro, which shows that this isn’t going to be your typical romantic BL between two partners. We also learn that Yashiro is in control of all these sexual encounters. In traditional BL manga, the partner that takes the bottom or uke position is typically seen as the “weaker/more timid” individual (which, for some reason, are commonly interpreted as being more “feminine” traits), but clearly this isn’t the case with this story. Therefore, the cover is empowering. At this point, Yashiro is confident and has reclaimed a sense of control over his sexuality.

Volume 2

This cover is bold, in a quiet way.

It deviates completely from the first one, making the whole environment the focus and not the main character. This type of cover design is especially rare for manga, which typically grab your attention with the character(s) front and center. The style of characters being enlarged and shown on the cover is commonly used, as, obviously, it’s very marketable. It easily draws the attention of potential readers (weren’t you captivated by Yashiro on that first cover?). However, the 2nd cover is extremely subtle, and it’s truly the mark of an artist who cares about the story she is telling, not just the hot scenes. It’s admirable. I will never stop respecting Yoneda-sensei for being so confident in challenging established tropes and themes.

This cover forces you to look closer at the details. It’s saying, “Hey, this story isn’t just about lust, but something deeper and more mature.” Upon closer inspection, we see Yashiro standing alone, completely out in the open, soaking in a full suit in the rain. It shows just how little he cares for his own well-being, and the pessimistic desire to not do anything about it. He has been deeply affected by tragedy. He feels empty and insignificant, like a drop in the ocean, which the cover reflects by depicting him as just another person in the background.

The full cover reveals even more details. Others have already talked extensively about the beautiful symbolism of the rain and umbrellas (inspired by kyrieren’s Rain and Aiai Gasa posts). Doumeki rushes from the right, carrying an umbrella to shield Yashiro from the rain, or his semi self-imposed misery. Doumeki bringing the umbrella to Yashiro is symbolic of how he cares for Yashiro’s wellbeing, which Yashiro doesn’t “see” or fully notice the depth of at this point. The theme of seeing and not seeing is established from this point forward.

Volume 3

The body language is everything.

Their position, especially Yashiro’s position with his arms up and feet made bare, reflects a sexual one. This indicates how their relationship is becoming more intimate. But Doumeki still being in his shoes implies that they aren’t that far into it yet. It can also signify how Yashiro and/or Doumeki himself will not let him take off his shoes, or display his full vulnerability. Despite the bareness of Yashiro’s soles, which could imply openness, Yashiro pushes back with his legs and does not look Doumeki back in the eyes. Perhaps he’s, in fact, willfully being “blind” to Doumeki’s feelings and closing off his own. So Yashiro’s position, rather than reflect growing trust and openness, actually reflects how he wants to reduce their budding relationship to a purely physical one (like all his other sexual relationships). In contrast, Doumeki is staring intently at Yashiro, with his arms grasping Yashiro’s hands and pulling down the pants on his leg, keeping him in place. His intent is clear: to make Yashiro his. The way they’re both locked in place almost resembles a dance with its rhythm and balance. They’re both stuck in a position of their own makings, yet in a harmonious way. This cover masterfully conveys the psychological conflict and erotic situation between the characters.

Volume 4

Doumeki is staring determinedly, at whom? The audience, Yashiro, or both?

The cover of the extra story “A Flame in the Distance” makes it clear that Yashiro is not looking back at Doumeki, tying back into how Yashiro is willfully ignoring Doumeki’s and his own feelings.

It’s no secret that Yoneda-sensei puts great care into her symbolism. Both characters being placed in a field of wheat is likely very symbolic, but I could only find a few sources so far to explain the potential connections. According to those few sources, wheat symbolizes life, strength, and rebirth. In this case the wheat or the cover in general could symbolize Doumeki (because his name’s 力 means strength, power, force, etc). With this interpretation, volume 4 could act as Doumeki’s mindset in the story, and volume 2 would be Yashiro’s. In comparison to Yashiro’s gloomy, entrenched, and rainy attitude, Doumeki’s attitude is more cautiously optimistic and determined. The rebirth aspect of the wheat can also explain why they are both in the field; it’s because both have caused immense changes in each other. The brighter colors in the cover show how both have been the light in each other’s lives. Overall, the cover has an ominous or auspicious feel to it, but one thing is implied for sure: things are about to change. Doumeki and Yashiro are becoming extremely close.

Volume 5

Volume 5: the turning point of the series.

The cover’s design is simple, but everything is deliberately placed. We are put into the perspective of Doumeki, which makes the cover very intimate. Doumeki is on top and caresses Yashiro, who is undressed. Yashiro now looks directly up at Doumeki. This time, he cannot look away from his feelings. The last thing to mention is how Yashiro is almost positioned upside down, which indicates how everything is about to change. This all signals what we know is going to happen between them. They’re going to push the relationship to the farthest it’s ever been… and the result will be heartbreaking. A consistent theme among sources I found showed that the color white is symbolic of physical and spiritual purity as well as mourning and funerals. In this case, the white clothing symbolizes the tragedy of how Yashiro has been defiled by Doumeki, and how Doumeki is no longer pure in Yashiro’s eyes. The death of Yashiro’s sadomasochistic facade can also be symbolized with the white, because Doumeki has irrevocably changed Yashiro. Doumeki has made Yashiro fully realize things he never knew he so desperately wanted before: gentle touch, and most of all, genuine loving affection. Simultaneously, this volume has them both experience their best and worst moment.

Volume 6

While being less intimate than volume 5, volume 6’s cover still conveys a sense of closeness. Most of all, it conveys a sense of nostalgia and slight sadness.

Both are walking together in the night illuminated by city lights, Doumeki innocently following behind Yashiro, like how their relationship used to be. The cover’s cleverness comes from how it juxtaposes with the actual content of the volume, in which Yashiro is desperately trying and eventually succeeds in pushing Doumeki away from him now that they’ve gone so far. Volume 6’s cover is a swan song that pays homage to the romantic simplicity and gentle affection of their relationship, before everything changes…

Volume 7 and 8

By themselves, the covers seem unremarkable. But put side by side, the meaning and meta commentary become clear.

Doumeki and Yashiro have become physically separated. Both have grown up and matured. Doumeki is no longer the baby bird we remember. He looks more mature, dresses more seriously, has many scars on his face, and is wearing and surrounded by dark colors. This all reflects his mental growth and descent into darkness, or the yakuza. He is also turned away from Yashiro. Volume 7 is the complete opposite to volume 8. Yashiro dresses in and is surrounded by lighter colors. This reflects how he’s become more of a civilian and how he was actually never been as suited for the yakuza lifestyle as Doumeki. Yashiro has a contemplative expression, turning his head and body in a way to look directly at Doumeki. Now, Yashiro is aware of his feelings more than ever before, but Doumeki is not reciprocating so openly this time. *Forgot to mention, Doumeki is shown pulling off his glove with his mouth, his jacket is hanging loosely on him, and he’s taken off his shoe. He is much more comfortable in his sexuality now. On the other hand, Yashiro is shown to be covered more in his jacket and both of his shoes are still on, which could indicate his newfound impotence. Doumeki’s position is also more open than Yashiro’s more closed off one, showing their differences in confidence. In many ways, their roles have been reversed this arc.

Volume 9

Finally, we have the latest cover. Yashiro and Doumeki are working to re-establish a sense of closeness, but that warmth they possessed with their early relationship has not (yet?) resurfaced.

Doumeki once again looks directly at Yashiro. He is now trying to express his feelings for Yashiro, but at a distance because his hand is still gloved (or his mask of indifference is still on). It seems as if Yashiro is not looking directly at Doumeki, but that doesn’t mean he’s avoiding his feelings like in the previous covers. Rather, he is now trying to hide them. Still, Yashiro not looking at Doumeki shows that he tragically cannot “see” Doumeki’s feelings for him now. There is deliberate ambiguity with how Yashiro grasps Doumeki’s gloved hand, as evidenced by how Yoneda-sensei revealed other drafts with variations of Yashiro’s hand placement. Is Yashiro pulling Doumeki towards him, keeping him in place, or pushing him away from him? This ambiguity reflects Yashiro’s inner conflict and contradictions. Their winter clothing and the desaturated color scheme all symbolizes the emotional coldness of their current relationship. Both desperately want to express their feelings for each other, but both can’t yet, due to each other’s unwillingness to drop their masks.

And that’s where we left off.

[andreal831]

Elijah antis make it so hard to talk about him.

Sometimes I just want to say "This a**hole."

And not get a hundred responses saying: "Thank you! Elijah is the worst, most evil character to ever exist in the world."

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

I'm sorry maybe I'm misinterpreting (please read to the end first) this but "a character did xyz because of the author" is the single laziest excuse for a characters actions

If the author writes them as problematic and abusive then that's what they are because she wrote them that way. If this was a once off then maybe but the authors intention changes nothing about the inherent character and their consistent actions

I mean if you want to go down that road then Amarantha isn't actually a sick evil bitch, she didn't have to do anything she did, SJM wrote her that way so that everyone would feel sorry for Rhysand, she's just a byproduct of that writing

If SJM wrote Rhysand parading Feyre around naked just to be sexy/horny then why did she write pages and pages of him fake apologizing afterwards? Why does she feel the need to use morally grey as an excuse for everything he does? Why does she have to blame Nesta or retcon to justify Cassians abuse? If she writes these scenes and actions and then feels the need to write a justification for it, she knows exactly what she's doing and she doesn't care and saying she doesn't intend it that way just seems to me like letting her get away with it

And don't get me wrong I understand the general concept of this post (again I could be misinterpreting), that SJM didn't actually write them to be bad people and I can agree to an extent since she clearly thinks the sun shines out of their asses, so maybe both things can be true but it is important to apply nuance when an author romanticizes abuse and assault and non consensual acts. And as I said, her intentions don't change the fact that they are inherently toxic and problematic. Saying it's just to be horny they're not actually bad people just provides another excuse for them, and SJM, to get a free pass

can i say something . can i be brave . a lot of y’all are trying to find endogenic reasons for characters in acotar doing things when the reason they did them was not because they are abusive / morally bad characters but because sjm wanted to make the books horny. did rhysand have to paint feyre and waltz her around the parties under the mountain basically naked? did he have to distract the hewn city by making feyre a pet and touching on her in front of everyone? no. sjm wrote it to be horny. did azriel need to be a cringecore emo fuck (affectionate) talmbout sad shower jerks and the cauldron giving him elain? no. sjm wrote it to lay the tension for being horny later. did cassian have to do anything he did in acosf? no. sjm wanted to be HORNY. all these things are shitty not great things for the characters to be doing, but the characters aren’t doing them because they’re inherently problematic; they’re doing them because the author wants to be horny, and they become problematic as a byproduct. there are plenty of actions and plots and decisions to be rightfully critical of in these books — trust me i want to 1v1 the inner circle in a pit — but some of the takes i’ve seen on this hellsite are trying to apply nuance to things done purely for the sake of being horny and it’s driving me crazy

[keferon]

Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.

Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao

Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.

In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs

[uncanny-tranny]

Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

this annoys me, too. i'm all for protecting female only spaces and calling out trans rapists, but i feel like i can hardly go on radblr and see even 50% posts not about trans people. trans people raping women and demanding access to our spaces is a huge problem, yes, but it sometimes feels like it's the only problem we talk about.

this is a very unpopular opinion on radblr, but i do think we're too trans-centric. trans women should be one of many issues we talk about. i also wish radfems could see more nuance with trans people, especially considering people like Dworkin saw the nuance, but i understand we don't all agree 100% on everything.

it's frustrating to me especially to see radfems complaining about trans people calling the executive orders a genocide, or being afraid for their rights. i don't agree that trans people are being actively genocided, and other groups are in more direct danger right now, but i'm frustrated that i've seen more posts saying trans people have no right to be scared because worse is happening to women than i have seen actual posts about what's happening to women. it feels slightly petty to me. shouldn't we be posting about the danger women are facing right now instead of complaining that trans people are saying they have it harder? not that the "trans genocide", and "first they came for trans people" isn't annoying, and to be frank, incorrect. but why are we acting like children instead of trying to help women right now? like no, they're not coming for trans people and then later coming for women. but maybe let's focus on the fact that they're coming for women.

anyway. i'm sorry i added so much into this.

Some of you radfems, aren’t radfems. You’re just transphobes.

Feminism is for women and girls, so why is your whole tumblr dedicated to “Tim moments”? Women are being mutilated in Africa and the Middle East, women are being forced to carry dangerous and deadly pregnancies all over the world, women are being murdered at higher and higher rates across the developed world, women can’t speak in public in Afghanistan. I don’t give a fuck about what any trans woman has posted, women are dying, that’s what I care about as a feminist.