#i have to open at work and then come back a few hours after my shift ends for a meeting

[darkmatilda]

𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your relationship is still very new, and you're getting ready to tell the rest of the team about it. in the meantime, you find yourselves again in another unusual hotel...where suddenly spencer starts acting very strangely?

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐰: glasses spencer reid x newbau!female!reader, fluff, intimacy conversation, spender being adorably shy

𝐚/𝐧: 'matilda how many more times are you gonna write that one bed trope' AS MUCH AS I CAN TILL I DIE btw i wrote this fic over a pretty long period of time, had a main idea (supposedly), but in the end i'm not happy with how it turned out—kinda all over the place. anyway, enjoy

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 4.8k

"My five dollars"

Spencer sighed and reached into his jacket pocket to pull out the slightly crumpled bill. You closed it in your hand, a triumphant smile on your face.

"Let's make bets more often, darling," you suggested.

When you used that nickname, his gaze briefly flickered over your face, as if studying whether it had been said purely in jest.

"You’re puffing up like you just invented the wheel," he said, gently shaking his head from side to side. "And just to remind you, all you did was park parallel."

"Parked parallel, indeed. And my coffee?"

He also handed you the paper cup he’d been holding while you performed those incredibly complicated car maneuvers that the bet was about. It was morning, the first day back at work. January, the first days of the new year. You had just arrived at the office parking lot in your car, after spending the night at your place. Everything around you still seemed to smell of that melancholic blend of the past mixed with the fresh scent of the coming months. And coffee, bought at the café on the way.

You took a tiny sip of the hot drink. Spencer, it seemed, hadn’t touched his even once. Both of you, consciously or not, were stretching out the moment just a little longer. And, truth be told, you could afford to. The parking lot around you was only beginning to fill with cars, suggesting the early hour. It was nice to sit there together, sharing the quiet without any discomfort.

You realized this was supposed to be your first day at work as a couple.

A warm, pleasant feeling spread through you at the sound of that word, even though you hadn’t said it out loud. It still felt a little unreal. You had grown closer during the New Year’s Eve party at your place. It was only after that shared—and not just one—kiss that a new perspective dawned on you about the past months of your relationship, revealing some undefined emotions.

"I was wondering..." Spender suddenly began, his brows furrowed slightly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

His gaze suddenly fell on his watch.

"We still have some time," you reassured him calmly. "Let me guess. You've been wondering what would happen if we crossed the DNA of a jellyfish that can reverse its life cycle with the human genome?"

A small smile flickered across his face, a touch of affection despite the rather serious expression on the rest of his face.

"That too," he admitted, nodding. Then he opened his mouth, with some visible hesitation, as if a particular question was troubling him. You shifted in the driver's seat, preparing for whatever he wanted to discuss, whatever he wanted to ask. "How...how are we supposed to act...you know, towards each other? At work?"

For a moment, your brain didn’t understand what he meant. But then, a fleeting oh escaped you as the meaning of his words sank in, and you realized that it was indeed something worth considering. Somehow, over the past few days, neither of you had brought it up. You had just gone back to work, without any reflection on the fact that none of your colleagues knew about the progress in your relationship. About how it had suddenly taken a step to a completely different level.

Spencer studied your face in silence, waiting for a response. As he looked at you, coming up with a logical solution became incredibly difficult. Before you finally said anything, you let out two half-intelligent mutters, like a fish thrown onto the surface.

"We have to tell them," you finally said, stating the obvious. "Somehow. Maybe...we can meet at my place this weekend. All of us. Or we could go out somewhere, and then tell them calmly."

"This weekend?" Spencer repeated cautiously.

It was Monday.

Suddenly, it became incredibly hard to read the expression on his face. He was facing you, his brows slightly furrowed, a look of uncertainty, almost withdrawal. The air inside your car thickened, making the silence even more palpable. He seemed almost concerned, downcast. You froze, wondering if you had really said something wrong.

"So until then," he started more quietly, "are we just supposed to hide it from them?"

“I'm not sure hide is the right word," you replied with a grimace. "I just...I meant, maybe we should wait. For a better moment, you know? Instead of walking into the office on the first Monday of the year, when half the people are still nursing hangovers, and saying hey, guess what? we hooked up!”

His expression hadn't changed, despite your pretty honest explanation.

"You don't like the idea," you stated, rather than asking. You made sure your voice sounded gentle, adjusting it to the situation. "I can see that, Spencer."

"Okay, you're right, I don't like it," he admitted with a sudden coolness, his lips tightening slightly between sentences. "Because...I don't get your reasoning. Or, maybe I just don’t know if this is really what you mean."

Slightly surprised, you shook your head.

"What else could I—"

"I don’t know if it's really about that, or maybe..." he cut off, looking into your eyes as if hoping you'd understand by now. But you didn't have the skill to read his mind, no matter how remarkable it was—it was also incredibly complex. "Or maybe...I don’t know, you just don’t take it seriously. That's why you don't want to tell anyone about it."

You gasped, finally understanding his behavior. Realizing the hidden concern.

"You’re worried I don't take us seriously?"

Spencer shrugged briefly.

"You know, if that's really the case, I'd rather know now..."

You leaned in to catch one of his hands, which had been clasped over his chest. You broke his defensive stance, pulling him toward you by his long fingers, simply holding it for a moment before speaking again. With a smile. A slightly amused smile.

"Of course, I take us seriously, you idiot," you snorted. A sense of relief washed over you. Earlier, he’d seemed genuinely worried, and you’d been expecting far worse things than the fact that your guy literally paled with anxiety over worrying you weren’t as invested in your fresh relationship as he was. Well, out of context, it sounded like a very serious concern. But the context was, you took it seriously, and you were incredibly happy he did too. "You know what? Maybe you're right. Why should we make idiots out of ourselves for the next week? Let’s just walk in like this."

You motioned toward your intertwined fingers, raising them as if they were a trophy earned through sweat and tears. Spencer followed their movement with his gaze, initially surprised, but then the corner of his mouth twitched, and he tilted his head with a quiet chuckle.

"We can do it your way," he said, taking control of your hands, clasping them with both of his. He looked relieved; your reassurance and the sincerity in your voice clearly calmed him. You smiled too, finally seeing that peace on his face. "I really don't mind waiting a few days. It might even be… interesting. One of us might not hold out and accidentally slip up."

You raised an eyebrow in a teasing manner.

"Another bet, Reid?" you clicked your tongue. You kept eye contact with him, feeling his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of your hand. He seemed so unaffected, as if he didn’t realize he was doing it. "You already lost five bucks about…ten minutes ago. At this rate, you'll be broke within a month, and we'll have to skip that overpriced coffee downtown. Now that would be a real horror story, speaking as a citizen of the first world."

"Didn't say anything about another bet!”

"Too late," you shot back, turning his hand and taking it in a more formal handshake. "Handshakes sealed the deal."

He rolled his eyes, but a half-smile lingered on his face. He still hadn’t let go of your hand.

"I think we should get going," he said reluctantly.

You sighed with the same enthusiasm. You really felt stuck to that seat, right next to him.

"You know, being late on the first day of the new year should be fully justified..."

"We really need to go."

He was right. But before either of you could move to get out of the car, he leaned forward. Gently cupping your cheek, he drew you in, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss. You closed your eyes, feeling the warmth of his touch, and for a brief moment, the world outside seemed to vanish—just the two of you, in that quiet, perfect stillness.

His face suddenly turned to the side, noticing something through the windshield. You frowned and looked in the same direction.

"That's Gideon," you remarked out loud, even though both of you had already spotted the silhouette of your coworker stepping out of a car that had just parked a short distance ahead. He wasn’t looking your way yet, but he could at any moment. "Quick, hide!"

Okay, you were completely honest with yourself. It wasn’t about being afraid of getting caught. After all, there was nothing strange about two coworkers arriving at work together in the same car—it was even very eco-friendly. You just liked the idea of shoving Reid under the seat. And the poor thing, so thrown off by the mock authority in your voice and the situation itself, did it without a second thought.

When Gideon finally noticed you, you cheerfully waved at him.

"Fuck," you muttered suddenly.

"What is it?" Spencer returned to his seat, adjusting his glasses on his nose. "Do you think he saw me?"

You shook your head.

"I just realized…this is your car."

*

"Okay, draw a straw."

"Morgan, how old are you?" You shook your head in disbelief, staring at the man standing across from you in the motel lobby. The place where you were spending the night this time was very tidy, with subdued colors, but, as tradition demanded, there had to be some sort of problem. You had one room for two, but one of them only had a double bed. So, you had to decide which two lucky people would share it. "Five?"

"And a half. Listen, we have to decide somehow. Let fate do it. The two who pull the shortest will sleep together. Simple as that."

Before you could say anything else, Garcia approached, weighed down by her bags. Yes, her—rarely did any case require her to be on-site, but it wasn’t completely unheard of.

"Oh, come on, Sweetie," she muttered to you, setting her luggage down and hunching slightly to catch her breath. "Let him feel like a kid again for a moment. He doesn’t get the chance often."

You sighed in resignation, but before you could pull one of the purple straws (how did he even get them?) that Morgan was holding in such a way that their lengths were hidden, you glanced around briefly. Sometimes you arrived at hotels at different times, some getting there faster, others later. Spencer and JJ had just walked in, both wearing coats to shield them from the cold January air. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him and his fogged-up glasses, which he quietly cursed under his breath—judging by the movement of his lips. However, you quickly composed yourself, returning to a neutral expression. It had only been two days since your agreement to keep the details of your relationship hidden, and so far, neither of you had slipped or forgotten to keep quiet around the others. Well, out of the two of you, you were probably struggling with it more—being a bit of a clinger, sometimes even your body would naturally gravitate towards his when standing next to him.

“Why are you standing here?” Spencer asked, approaching you. “Is there a problem with the rooms?”

“Is there ever not a problem with the rooms?” you responded, laughing. “Some poor souls are going to have to share a bed,” you explained, making brief eye contact with him. You were sure only he could catch the emphasis you placed on poor souls.

Of course, you wouldn't mind ending up in the same room. It wasn't about the fact that you were together—before, you’d shared rooms and even beds, and you were used to it by now. You would've probably offered it yourself, if it weren’t for the potential suspicion and that silly bet, which was starting to lose its point in your eyes. Maybe you should’ve just told them a few days ago?

“Oh,” he said shortly, crossing his arms with a bit of stiffness. His brown bag hung from his shoulder. He held your gaze for a moment, but his expression wasn’t as amused as yours. His brows furrowed slightly as he cleared his throat. “Poor them. Who’s it going to be?”

You slightly puffed out your lips slightly, watching him with a sharp look. What was it that made him so uneasy—the fact that you might not be in the same room this time?

“We were just about to decide,” Penelope replied, glancing at her friend with a teasing smile. “Morgan’s going to show us a game he learned today in kindergarten."

 JJ couldn't help but snort.

 “Just draw a straw…!”

You couldn’t recall another moment when all of you, every single one, rolled your eyes in perfect unison. But that’s exactly what happened when Derek once again enthusiastically explained the rules, as though they weren’t already ridiculously simple. In the end, each of you reached for one of the straws he was holding.

JJ went first. She pulled hers quickly, and it was of regular length, so it was immediately clear she wasn’t one of the poor souls. She raised her hand in a mock display of triumph, earning a few amused chuckles from the group.

Your turn came next. You approached the task with a certain gravity, as though the fate of the night depended entirely on the straw you chose. You studied each one carefully, as if their lengths could somehow be deciphered from the way they were arranged.

You wouldn’t have minded drawing the shortest straw. But only on one condition. 

Morgan looked at you with mock sympathy. Your straw wasn’t even half as long as JJ’s, which seemed to settle things. Now, it was just a matter of figuring out which of the remaining two—Reid or Garcia—would end up joining you.

Spencer reached out with a calculated, deliberate motion, his eyes immediately darting to yours when his straw turned out to be...one of the longer ones.

You shot him a look of bitter disappointment before your gaze shifted to your soon-to-be roommate. Penelope didn’t seem disheartened—on the contrary, an enthusiastic smile lit up her face. She opened her mouth to say something, but you caught the fleeting shift in her expression and the subtle flicker of her eyes.

“Oh no,” she suddenly gasped, her voice filled with exaggerated horror, even though she’d just seemed perfectly content, or at least not displeased, at the idea of sharing a room with you. “No, absolutely not. There’s no way I’m sleeping in the same room with her. Do you guys even know how loud she snores?”

Lies! You wanted to yell, but stopped yourself as realization dawned. Garcia was a good actress—you had to give her that—but her flair for dramatics always bordered on overkill, making it far too easy to catch her in a lie.

“I’m not used to traveling as often as you guys are,” Penelope continued in the same over-the-top tone. “I barely get a wink of sleep in a new place when it’s quiet, let alone with someone next to me snoring like a steam engine…”

“Love you too, Pen,” you muttered dryly.

“Someone has to switch with me, please,” she concluded, clasping her fingers together in a dramatic plea and pulling off the best puppy-dog eyes you’d seen in a long time. Well, at least since the time Reid had tried to coax you into reciting one of your old, cringe-worthy high school poems—the existence of which you’d only ever confessed to him.

“JJ?” Penelope turned her hopeful gaze toward her.

“Not a chance. My straw was the longest,” JJ replied, smug and immovable.

“Don’t even think about asking me,” Morgan chimed in before anyone could so much as glance in his direction.

And so, all eyes inevitably fell on Reid.

He awkwardly scratched the back of his ear, not looking directly at you.

“Well, I always carry earplugs with me…”

“Then it’s settled!” Garcia declared, hoisting her luggage with sudden determination. One of her heavy bags was thrust into Morgan’s arms so abruptly that he staggered backward under its weight. “Sweet dreams, everyone! Don’t let the bedbugs bite, and may the sheep you count tonight be extra fluffy and adorable. Goodnight!”

Just before she fully turned to leave, she sent you a quick, knowing wink.

You shook your head in disbelief, but the faintest smile danced on your lips. You didn’t even bother questioning how she knew. Only one conclusion circled your mind. Penelope could be really impossible. Thankfully, being impossible didn’t disqualify her from also being the best friend under this vast, sprawling sky. Period.

*

"What do you think about starting a tier list for all the hotels we stay in?” you remarked as both of you crossed the threshold of the room. Your eyes immediately landed on its unexpected feature. “Or at least the weirdest ones. Like the one with walls the color of cat pee where the power went out in the middle of the night. That one’s definitely at the top..."

"I don’t really get the point of a mirror on the ceiling," Reid said after a pause, looking over his shoulder at you. He was standing a few steps away, near the bed in the glaring white room with birchwood floors. "Who wants to look at themselves while trying to fall asleep?”

You raised an eyebrow, unsure if he was joking or not. He raised an eyebrow too, not understanding why you did that. Okay, he wasn’t joking.

"You know, the main point isn’t really to look at yourself while falling asleep," you explained, with a bit of amused pity. Your gaze also briefly lingered on the glass surface above the bed, designed to reflect the bodies of people lying in bed. You thought it was a surprising addition but weren’t planning on spending too much time on it for now. You just wanted to get your shoes off—shoes you’d been wearing since sunrise—and finally lie down on something soft. "By the way, I’m taking a shower first."

Spencer only muttered something under his breath in response. Before disappearing behind the bathroom door, you cast one last glance at him. He seemed quiet—strangely quiet. Not that you were expecting his usual chatter after a long day of work; it could weigh on anyone and leave them feeling subdued. Maybe he just needed an extra moment to unwind, and that’s where his restraint came from.

Anyway, you took a quick shower. The pressure of the hot water nearly scalded your skin, which meant you’d be spared the bitter complaints, grumbling, and dramatic resignation threats from Morgan the next day. You felt too tired to linger under the stream for long. After a few minutes, you stepped out of the shower, changed into your sleepwear, and gathered the clothes you’d worn all day from the floor.

You and Spencer passed each other in the doorway without a word.

Glancing back over your shoulder, you frowned. The bathroom door shut behind him, and some concerned question froze on your lips. For a moment, you stood still, debating whether you should ask it. But then the sound of running water reached your ears, and you figured he probably wouldn’t hear you anyway.

Instead, you decided to climb into bed, wait for him, and ask about it then. Whatever it was clearly weighed on him, and the fact that something was bothering him bothered you. Funny how that worked, right?

You spent that moment lying on your back, eyes wide open, afraid you might accidentally fall asleep if you closed them. A comfortable bed during a case—it felt like pure luxury. You were waiting for Spencer to finally emerge from the bathroom so you could curl up next to him, fall asleep to the fresh post-shower scent of him, and the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

Just like you had spent half the day after the New Year’s party at your place—wrapped around each other, arguing over who would get up to make coffee and whether you should start cleaning up the mess from the night before.

You tucked your arm beneath your head, gazing at your fully-covered form reflected in the ceiling mirror.

“Did you find a portal to another galaxy in there or what?” you finally called out, impatient. He’d been in there way too long. And coming from you—a known lover of long, indulgent baths—that was saying something.

“Sorry,” he murmured as he finally emerged from the bathroom, wearing a gray t-shirt instead of his usual neat work attire and tie perfectly knotted at his neck. He still had his glasses on, which he might’ve forgotten to remove, judging by the way he slid into bed to your left without taking them off.

You watched him closely, rubbing at your tired eye. The shower had managed to wash away about half of the tension from Spencer’s face, but the other half stubbornly remained.

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” he said softly.

“I didn’t have to,” you admitted simply, watching as he carefully adjusted himself, finding the right position. The lamp on his side of the bed cast a warm glow over his skin. You were both half-sitting, you comfortably propped up against the soft pillows, and him barely leaning back against them. “But I wanted to. We really lucked out with this room, huh? Penelope is one of a kind.”

"Did you tell her about us?"

"I didn’t say a word. She's just more observant than the rest”

He nodded, agreeing with you. You thought he might say something else about it, maybe make a joke about the bet, but he didn’t. You yawned.

"You seem tired.”

“How did you figure that out, Sherlock?” you asked, your sarcasm light, without a hint of malice. “You too, by the way. Although, it’s not just that you seem tired—you are tired, at first glance. Or maybe something’s bothering you. Or maybe both. Am I right?”

He shrugged slowly.

“No, as far as I know.”

“Oh, come on,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. You pulled your knees closer to your chest, shifting into a full sitting position with slightly bent legs. You leaned forward just enough to gently take his glasses off and fold them, your fingers brushing briefly against his cheek. He didn’t look at what you were doing, his gaze fixed on your face under the soft fall of his lashes. The wonderful color of his eyes, the slight hesitation in your movements as you moved a little closer to kiss him—a fleeting, tender press of lips.

“Something’s going on, and you can tell me about it.”

“Or we could just go to sleep,” he suggested quietly. “It’s been a long day. You must be tired, I mean, you yawned a little while ago.”

You tilted your head, studying him thoughtfully. Was he really trying this hard to dodge the topic? How could you get him to open up?

“I know blackmail isn’t exactly healthy for relationships,” you started finally, turning his glasses over in your hands, “but I’m not giving these back until you tell me.”

Both corners of his mouth twitched at once.

“Oh no, what am I going to do now?” he replied with feigned concern, gently shaking his head. Then he lowered his voice.  “This is exactly what I’d say if I didn’t also have contacts with me.”

"Sometimes I just want to…ugh."

"Violence isn't too healthy for relationships either."

"Just like not opening up. Remember what we talked about a few days ago in the car? You were worried I don't take you seriously. How else am I supposed to prove I'm serious if I don’t ask what’s wrong when I can tell something’s off?"

Your explanation sounded a bit jumbled, but he had to get the general idea. The reference to that specific conversation and his own words seemed to hit a sensitive spot.

"I didn’t want you to feel like you have to prove anything to me," he quickly corrected, swallowing hard. His chest fell, and the sigh felt like surrender. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to worry about it. It's nothing serious. I’m just tired...and a little stressed."

"Stressed?" you repeated, surprised. "You're stressed? But about what?"

He hesitated for a moment.

"Just... about this," he said vaguely, his gaze shifting from you to your reflection in the glass ceiling. "Us, I mean."

"What do you mean?" you asked quietly, still confused, gently shaking your head. "We've shared rooms before, so if it’s about that, I really don’t get it."

"Yeah, but never like this. In a room with a king-sized bed and a huge mirror right above us," he explained, his voice tinged with embarrassment, clearly wishing he could just stop talking. "Okay, I know this sounds dumb, I know it does, but I don’t know why it’s messing with my head like this. I just...I kinda thought maybe you'd want to..."

"Spencer," you interrupted, saving him from going any further. You saw a flicker of relief in his eyes. You weren’t sure what emotion was bubbling up inside you now—whether it was still confusion or just pure amusement. "You were worried I’d want to have sex with you?” 

You didn’t even need to wait for his answer to know you’d hit the nail on the head. Considering how your relationship had grown out of friendship, slowly evolving over time and shared experiences instead of a sudden burst of passion, you weren’t surprised you hadn’t yet taken that step together. It was something special in its own way—there had never been any pressure, and you hadn’t expected that he might feel the exact opposite.

So when you finally figured out what had been bothering him all this time, you couldn’t help but laugh, the sound light and genuine.

"You were right, you know. It does sound kind of dumb," you said, unable to keep the smile from your face. His expression remained unreadable, his posture betraying a hint of anticipation as he waited for the rest of your reaction. "But also…I don’t know, kind of adorable? But seriously, Spencer, we don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready."

"It’s not that I don’t want to at all," he clarified quickly, almost too firmly. "I mean...it’d be our first time. Together. That’s what I mean. And I guess I just didn’t expect it to...happen tonight, here, of all places."

"I didn’t either," you admitted truthfully, the smile still lingering on your face. Unlike him, you didn’t feel even a hint of embarrassment. "I figured we’d just go to sleep, especially since we both already admitted we’re exhausted."

"Fair point," he mumbled.

"Honestly, this has to be the biggest example of overthinking I’ve ever seen anyone put themselves through, Spencer," you teased lightly, shaking your head.

For a moment, he stayed silent, but it felt like he was letting out a breath he’d been holding.

“You’re gonna have to get used to that,” he admitted finally, his voice soft. But then, you caught the faint glimmer of a smile tugging at his lips.

He even started to laugh, a quiet chuckle filled with a sort of amused self-awareness. Meanwhile, you leaned out of the bed to place his glasses on the nightstand on your side. If he wanted them in the morning, he’d have no choice but to reach right over you.

“But just for the record,” he began after a moment, as you reached for the edge of the blanket that had slipped off you earlier, pulling it back up to wrap around yourself. Your head was only inches from the pillow now. You gave him a questioning nod. He, too, was getting ready to lie down, finally looking genuinely relaxed. “How pathetic do you think that was, on a scale from one to ten?”

You just rolled your eyes, not even dignifying the question with an answer.

“In the interest of science,” he pressed, “one to ten?”

“Pathetic enough that you’ll need to redeem yourself a little in my eyes,” you sighed dramatically. “Go on, I’m waiting for your ideas.”

“I think I might have a few,” he replied with a soft chuckle.

You prolonged the kiss, savoring the deep sense of comfort it brought you. The two of you lay face to face, and you gently brushed a few still-damp strands of hair from Spencer's forehead, though they stubbornly fell back into place. Eventually, you gave up with a soft sigh against his lips. Spencer kept his eyes closed, lost in a quiet bliss, even as you pulled back just slightly, leaving only an inch of space between you.

"Can I turn off the light now?" you asked, as always. The question had become a tradition since you'd learned about his complicated relationship with darkness.

He hummed in agreement, nodding faintly. Leaning over him, you reached for the bedside lamp on his side. The room was instantly bathed in darkness, your reflections in the mirror above fading into obscurity.

You didn’t fully return to your original spot. Instead, you shifted closer, resting your head comfortably against his chest. The hotel pillows were unbelievably plush, you had to admit, but that night, you chose this over anything else.

"You’re not asleep," he noted gently after about fifteen minutes. He cleared his throat. "During sleep, a person’s breathing becomes slower and more regular. You know, if you’re uncomfortable here, you don’t have to…"

"I’m listening to your heartbeat," it slipped out of you. Though it was true, you hadn’t planned on admitting it out loud. "Nothing sinister, just to be clear. I’m not planning to rip it out of your chest or anything like that. It just works for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Like those videos that imitate the sound of a crackling fireplace. Pretty calming."

"My heartbeat reminds you of the sound of a fireplace?" he said, a glint of confusion in his softly hoarse voice.

You sighed, in the darkness, he couldn’t see the faint smile painting itself on your face, pressed against his chest.

"Sweet dreams, silly."

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[tiredeg]

People everywhere sense imminent danger all around. They sense that whatever just happened is the beginning of the savagery, not the end. People abandon their vehicles and begin to flee on foot. They exit buildings, run down stairs and out doors. People in subway trains and on busses, in halted elevator cars, work to pry open emergency exits and doors. They crawl, walk, and run for their lives. The most basic human instinct is to survive.—Annie Jacobsen, Nuclear War: A Scenario

They’re going to die, probably.  

“It was stupid of us to take the elevator,” Oscar says. 

Carlos manages an eye roll back at him. Oscar’s surprised the motion of his eyeballs doesn’t unbalance him, perched as he is on the railing around the edge of the elevator car, calves straining, reaching his phone up towards the emergency lighting strips. As high as possible, as if he can will the texts out of his phone, force the words out of the frozen elevator, up the shaft and out into the sky, send them floating through the air towards the recipients, soaring past the bombs coming the opposite way. 

Oscar’s no expert but he knows enough Spanish to be able to decipher the glimpses he’s managed of the screen. I will be ok. I love you all. Incongruous against the previous message in the thread, a picture of a scrappy white dog asleep on a couch. Oscar had watched Carlos add a heart react to it not two hours ago when they got back to the hotel after FP2. 

God, two hours ago. One hour and fifty minutes before someone told them to check their phones, before the awful silence as they watched the video. A farmer somewhere in California had put it on Facebook, a mushroom cloud blooming over a power plant. It was shared everywhere, Oscar had watched it with Kim, hunched over Twitter, or X, or whatever. The farmer is probably dead now. Facebook certainly is, anyway.

The bomb hit hundreds of miles away from their hotels in Vegas. Not far enough.

Finally, Carlos hops down, collapsing beside Oscar on the floor of the cab. The wall opposite them is a mirror, floor to ceiling, so Oscar doesn’t have to turn his head. It’s easier this way. 

“I think they have gone through,” Carlos blurts out, like he’d wanted to keep quiet but the words forced their way up his throat. “It has the two grey ticks. I think that means it's gone from my phone but I will not get blue ticks without signal.” 

It takes Oscar a second to catch his drift. There’s no way the messages went through. The signal’s been gone for a few minutes, Oscar reckons, about the same time the elevator stopped. Carlos isn’t an idiot, he must know. Oscar knows. 

“I think that’s right,” Oscar says. “They’ll have signal in Spain still, so they’ll have got it.” 

He feels Carlos sag a little at his words. They’re touching from shoulder to knee, something they wouldn’t have risked this morning. Doesn’t matter now. Probably shouldn’t have mattered at the time. 

“How would you go, if you could choose?” Carlos asks.  

Oscar shrugs. “Dunno, never really thought about it.” 

“Don’t be boring, think about it now.” Carlos shoves into him, puts his body weight behind it, but Oscar’s expecting it, can see him decide in the mirror. He braces himself, doesn’t move. Now they’re tangled. Now he can think. 

“I guess I read this book in school. It was nuclear stuff but not bombs, just radiation, so it was really slow. This one girl took her boyfriend’s good car out for one last drive, then floored it off a cliff in the end. I think I’d like that.” 

Carlos doesn’t say anything, just leans his head onto Oscar’s shoulder proper. If they stay like this too long Oscar won’t be able to feel his arm. Maybe that’s how he’d like to go, let Carlos lean on him limb by limb until he can’t feel anything anymore.  

“He was with her? The boyfriend?” Carlos mumbles. 

“Huh?” 

“In the nice car. Was she with her boyfriend?” 

“Oh, well not exactly, he was in a submarine I think, I don’t remember it all. They might not have been boyfriend and girlfriend actually, or maybe they were, I don’t know. They definitely loved each other.” 

“Oh,” Carlos says, “that’s nice.” 

“Yeah. What about you, what way would you go?” 

Oscar watches in the mirror as Carlos looks up at him.  

“I had a different answer but I like yours better, I think.” 

“Copycat. I suppose you can come along.” Oscar shifts, rearranging Carlos’s arms around him. 

“Who would drive?” Carlos asks. 

Oscar wants to be the one who wants to drive. He could take that role, let Carlos hold on as their imaginary car gets closer to the point of no return, make the decision to keep the car pointing forward, his foot to the floor. He could take the wheel, if he had to. 

In the mirror he can see Carlos is still looking at him. He meets his own eyes in the reflection, then lets his head turn, lets himself look for real. 

“I don’t want to drive,” Oscar whispers.

“Okay,” Carlos shrugs, easy. “I’ll do it.” 

The emergency strips go dark. Oscar doesn’t know what that means, why they worked when the power went out or why they’ve stopped now. He’s annoyed at how he expects his eyes to adjust, blinking hard when they don’t as if he can force the nonexistent light into his pupils.  

He can still feel. He’s shaking, he thinks. Carlos’s arms tighten around him, unsteady too. Oscar revises his previous answer, overwhelmingly glad of the elevator; they can’t get lost in here, it’s too small. He doesn’t really know the timeline on these things, maybe it’ll take a day, maybe a few seconds. They’re here for now. 

[moody-alcoholic]

Cross My Heart

Part 4- Forced Proximity

Summary: eventual poly141 x reader. Enemies to lovers, mini fic.

CW: medical stuff, use of weapons, cannon typical violence, death.

AN: 2 parts in under 24 hours? I have to focus on my main projects I can't focus with this part sitting in my drafts.

Previous parts - masterlist - next

AO3

“You’re really going to make me go into Al Qatala territory with nothing?” You ask as Ghost prepares his weapon. 

“What do you mean you’re going in with the best of us.” Soap says winking at you. You frown at him looking back over at Ghost. 

“Just give me my pistol back. What? You think I'm going to shoot him?” You scoff. There’s silence in the room, you look around. Yes, yes they do think that. You sigh, zipping your jacket up and going over to the door. 

You wait in silence as Ghost comes to stand next to you. He’s dressed in full gear and you’re in basic clothes, not even anything camouflaged. 

“Here.” Gaz comes over to you handing you a radio and an earpiece. You frown at him. 

“I don’t know how to use this.” You say. 

“You’ll figure it out.” He says walking back over to the sofa with Price who’s been watching you the whole time. You clip the radio onto your belt and put the earpiece in fiddling with what you think is the volume tuner. 

“Ready?” Ghost asks. You look up at him and nod. “How far is this place again?” 

“A few kilometres east.” You respond. He reaches over, handing you a knife hilt first. You almost want to laugh at him. 

“Can’t do much with a knife.” You say, it’s spitfull, you want your gun back. You take the knife regardless.

“You can do alot with a knife.” He says and reaches down opening the door and walking out into the night. 

“Good luck.” Price calls. You look back at him and nod. 

You tuck the knife into your belt and follow Ghost into the darkness. 

…

“How did you know about this place?” Ghost asks as you make it to the entrance of the town.

“It was taken over by Al Qatala about a year ago. Been pretty much abandoned since then.” You say, the wind has picked up and you can see thick clouds in the sky blocking out the light from the moon.

“The ULF don’t come this far north, it’s a good way point for smugglers.” You say. You’ve passed through here many times. 

“You really seem to hate the ULF.” He says as a matter of fact.

“They’re both as bad as each other. If anything Konni have been the best, at least for work.” 

“Doesn’t bother you, they're helping terrorists.” He says, there's a bitterness in his voice. 

“The ULF killed my father in a hospital.” You say, anger rises in you. “I never got to say goodbye, I never got to see his body.” 

“You said your mum worked for them.” 

“She did, she was killed by Al Qatala, she was working for Farah.” You say, he doesn’t say anything. You make it to the top of the street. 

“Right.” You say pointing down the road. You walk down in silence, there are some streetlights working rigged up by whoever is using this town for now. 

“What about you? You’re British living a comfy life. What are you doing here?” You ask. 

“We’re after someone.” 

“In Al Qatala? It’s pretty clear you’re friendly with the queen bee.” He shakes his head.

“No.” He says stopping. You hum looking over at him. His eyes are darting around. You look into the darkness of the town, you can’t see or hear anything. 

“Ever killed anyone?” He asks suddenly and keeps walking. 

“Maybe.” You say trying to sound confident. “Why should it matter, you’re a soldier, you took an oath before you killed people. At least I’m doing it to keep innocent people alive.” 

“You smuggle people for Konni, Makarov.”

“I’ve smuggled people for the ULF too, like I said, I work for whoever pays.” He scoffs. You’re surprised, he usually seems so reserved. There’s a reason for the mask. 

“Proper opportunist aren't you?” You can hear the sarcasm in his voice. 

“Fuck you.” You snap, shaking your head. You go turn the corner ignoring his remarks. Suddenly he grabs your arm and pulls you between some buildings. 

“Get the fuck off-” he slams his hand over your mouth pulling you against his chest. You start to fight him then you hear voices. You stop struggling as they get closer.

“The place is empty, why are we back here?” You hear one of them say in arabic. 

“Khaled wants to take this place over. Use it to cut off the ULF movements.” Someone else replies. Does Ghost understand arabic? You assume he doesn’t. 

“I thought I would be home with my family before the end of the month.” 

“When was the last time you saw them?” The other asks as you watch them pass past you. 

“10 months ago.” 

“You’ll see them soon, mashallah.” They walk out your view, their lights fading, leaving you back in darkness. Ghost’s hand leaves your mouth, your heart is hammering in your chest. He lets you stand up, releasing his grip round you. You want to thank him, they would have killed you if they’d seen you. How did he even hear them coming?

“Let's move.” he whispers, pushing past you out towards the street. You follow him close as you walk out into the street, sticking close to the buildings and following the shadows. 

“Up there to the left.” You say pointing at a building ahead of you both. The place is surrounded by a chain link fence. The building looks more rundown than you remember.

“Round the back there's a smashed in door, I doubt it’s been repaired.” You say behind Ghost, still trying to keep your voice low. 

“Copy.” He says. You let him lead, following him close to the building. He pulls something off his vest cutting the links in the fence. He holds it open, nodding at you to sneak through. You go through first heading over to the door. It’s open, you can see from here. You just hope the place hasn’t been raided too hard. 

The place is dark, there are no lights, no electricity. Ghost comes in behind you clicking on a torch. He hands you another one, you take it out his hands turning it on and shining it over the signs. 

“Who taught you English?” He asks. 

“My parents said if I wanted to go anywhere in life I should learn English. I was brought up speaking both.” You keep the fact you can speak Russian silent. Don’t ask, don’t tell. The more advantages you have over them the better. 

“Here.” You say shining the torch over a room that says surgery. The room looks like it’s just been closed up for the night. Cupboards are still full of sterile supplies. That's good, you should be able to find everything you need.

“I’m going to check for other supplies. Are you good here?”  You look over at him nodding and pick up a bag off the counter, you watch him leave the doorway and head into another room down the hall.

You’re not going to be able to find drugs. Price could use local anaesthesia and antibiotics, you don’t even know where to start with human medicine, never mind dog medicine. You recognise tools though, sealed sterile gloves and tweezers, scalpels and plenty of different bandages and gauze. 

You turn in the room walking round the table and over to the other side looking for wraps, something you can use to make a somewhat sterile field. You try to remember what you’ve seen from interning at the hospital for the last few years. You smile as you fill the bag, your parents were right, in the end the education was useful. 

Suddenly you hear a crash, grunting. Someone's in the building. There's an audible grunt, the sound punches, scraping of furniture. There’s no gunfire, you rush over to the hallway following the noise. You can see lights flashing in a room, you burst through the door.

It’s hand to hand contact, they’re fighting on the floor, the stranger is on top of Ghost. You’re not thinking, if Ghost dies they’ll kill you. No matter what you say they’ll kill you. Your hand feels for the knife in your belt.

The man on top of Ghost looks bigger, he's not wearing any body armor, Ghost's weapon flung to the side. You don’t have time to think you take the knife off your waist and jump at the guy on Ghost, plunging it into the man's neck. Blood spurts out covering you all. There’s no noise, you hit the carotid. 

His body goes limp after a few seconds and you stand up. Ghost pushes the body off him. You reach out offering him your hand. He hesitates for a second before accepting it and you pull him up. 

“Hurry up, we need to go.” He says reaching down to pull the knife out his neck. He wipes it on his leg before handing it back to you.

“Fuck me, not even a thank you.” You scoff putting the knife back on your hip. You leave the room going back into the surgery. You pack the last of the gauze and whatever sterile supplies you can find. An opened scalpel falls on the floor making you jump. 

It still has the cover over the blade. You’ll have to give the knife back to Ghost but the scalpel, it’s small, no one would know you have it. 

“Let’s go.” Ghost calls sticking his head in the room before leaving back towards the back door. You look at the scalpel on the floor. 

If you take it and they find it they could kill you. If you leave it you have no way to defend yourself either way. You sigh looking over at the door. 

How easy it would be to betray them.

..

It’s raining when you make it back to the safe house. They’ve piled the bodies up in the shed. They probably won’t get any kind of funeral until Farah’s troops get here, even then if she learns who they are they’ll most likely be dumped somewhere. Or buried in a mass grave, not like the commander in Chief of the ULF has time for Russian Al Qatala operatives. 

“What happened!?” Soap asks, rushing up to Ghost. The rain washed most of the blood off you both, but not all. 

“Nothing. Just a slight complication.” You shake your head going over to the sofa and putting the bags down. Price looks up at you, you smile at him. 

“Can I get cleaned up?” You ask the room. 

“Yeah.” Price says. You walk over to Ghost being fussed over by Soap. You tap him on the shoulder and he turns to look at you. You hold the knife out for him. 

“Here.” You say. He takes it out of your hand but doesn’t say anything. You huff pressing your lips together, you didn’t expect anything. You turn to head up to the bathroom. 

“Thanks.” He calls. It stops you in your tracks. You turn back and nod at him. The scalpel you hid in your waistband suddenly feels like a lead weight. 

Banners by plum98

[ecstxsyy]

KISS ME MORE. | E. BUCKLEY

❝all on my tongue,

I want it!❞

Evan Buckley despised Valentine’s Day until he spent it with you.

18+ mdni !

evan buckley x nash!fem reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol use, slightly intoxicated sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up), slight name-calling, breeding kink, part plot part filth.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

VALENTINE’S DAY has always been one of your favorite holiday’s, even though you’d always spent it alone or with your Uncle Bobby, the idea of people celebrating their love for other was so beautiful to you.

In your mind, this year would be no different. You’d stop at the florists after work to grab the flowers you’d ordered for Bobby in advance, grab some groceries to make pasta for dinner, and head over to Bobby’s apartment.

That was until Bobby interrupted your workout to tell you he had other plans, a mystery someone had asked him to dinner last minute, so, he’d be spending Valentine’s Day with whoever that was.

“Well, who is this mystery person?” You asked Bobby with a smirk, happy that he’d finally begun to move on from every thing in his past.

“Hey, my lips are sealed. But, please don’t spend today alone. I heard Buck is free, he’s been complaining about it all day.” Bobby suggested. “Maybe the two of you could hang out.”

You snorted and proceeded with the workout you had abandoned a few minutes prior.

“Yeah, the whole station heard him.” You joked, powering through some pull-ups.

After Bobby had walked away, the thought lingered in your mind. Was Bobby trying to set you up on a date? You couldn’t lie and say you haven’t had the biggest crush on Buck since he joined the 118, but you’d tried to make sure to suppress it as much as possible. The last thing you wanted was to have something get in the way of your friendship with him.

Later, you found Buck sitting at the kitchen table eating the leftovers from the homemade mac and cheese Bobby prepared everyone for lunch, a smile rising to his face as he looked to see you come up the staircase.

“Hey, you want some?” Buck asked, offering up some of his food immediately. You nodded, taking the spoonful of mac and cheese that Buck held up to your mouth.

Once you finished chewing, you turned your attention back to the reason you had come to find him.

“So, I heard you’re gonna be alone for Valentine’s Day.” You spoke, trying to bring it up nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I haven’t really been in the mood for anything to do with romance since Abby left.” Buck huffed, trying not to start the never-ending train of thoughts of her. You nodded, not wanting to throw any more salt in the wound for him. He’d just finally began to realize Abby and him were over, you didn’t want to rub that in his face the way everyone else did.

“Well, Bobby just canceled on me for some mystery woman and I have a bunch of food I planned to cook tonight if you wanna come over and just hang out.” You tried to shrug casually, a wave of nervousness flooding through you.

“Sure, I missed hanging out with you.” Buck smiled, shoving another spoonful of the mac and cheese into his mouth. You nodded and smiled, turning to walk back down the steps to wash the ladder truck.

“Perfect. I’ll see you later, Buckley!” You half-shouted as you got further from him. A rush of adrenaline pumping through you. You knew it wasn’t a date, but, it was nice to finally have company that isn’t your uncle on Valentine’s Day.

Hours later, the smell of fresh garlic and herbs wafted through your quaint apartment. You had just begun preparing garlic chicken alfredo when you heard a knock at the door.

“One sec!” You shouted as you cleaned your hands and smoothed over the short flowy dress you’d decided to wear, moving to open the door.

“I brought tequila.” Buck smiled, holding up a bottle of tequila wrapped in a brown paper bag. You stepped back to allow him in as you smiled.

“You really do know the way to a girl’s heart.” You chuckled, shutting the door behind him.

You moved back to your position at the counter and continued to chop up some onions and garlic, tossing them into the pan once they were the size you preferred.

“It smells delicious in here,” Buck commented, taking a deep breath of the aroma that surrounded him.

“Thank you, it’s one of Bobby’s recipes that I tweaked to my own taste,” You smiled.

Buck nodded shrugging his jacket off and grabbing some glasses from your cabinet. He began pouring you two some drinks, setting yours next to you before turning to lean against the counter. He watched you cook intently as he sipped his drink slowly, he’d never realized how beautiful you were until now.

Truth is, Buck has always felt something towards you. But, you being his bosses niece threw a wrench in those plans immediately. To him, you were forbidden fruit, and we always want things we can’t have.

The longer Buck watched, the more his thoughts began to drift to things they shouldn’t. The only thing on his mind being how would she look bent over this count-

“What? Is there something on my face?” You asked, interrupting his train of thought.

“What? Uh, no. Sorry,” Buck apologized as he cleared his throat, averting his gaze to look out of your kitchen window and watch the city lights.

“No, seriously. I know you weren’t just staring that hard for no reason,” You teased.

Buck slammed back the rest of his drink for some liquid courage, deciding that he’d waited long enough for Abby to deny what was in front of him, moving to stand behind you and craning his neck down so his lips were level with your ear.

“Just thinkin’ about how pretty you’d look with this cute little dress bunched up around your waist while I fuck you over this counter,” Buck whispered, letting his lips brush over the top of your ear.

“Why keep imagining when you can find out for real?” You questioned, your stomach burning hot with arousal.

Those words were all the consent Buck needed before he began kissing down your neck to your shoulder, nipping at the skin here and there. Your whimpers and whines did nothing but spur him on, grabbing your shoulder and pushing you forward to bend over the counter, a slight gasp of shock leaving your mouth as you crane your head back to watch him as he lifts the back of your dress.

Buck swears he nearly fainted at the sight that was in front of him, you had no panties on, your wet pussy glistening in the light. The view sent all of his blood south, his cock growing hard beneath his jeans immediately.

“You do this just for me?” Buck asked, landing a hard slap to your left ass cheek before spreading you apart for him to see.

“Mhm,” You hummed, biting your lip as he dove straight in. His eager tongue found its way into your hole immediately, slowly fucking its way inside of you. Buck wanted to take his time with you, everything was so much better than he’d thought it’d be and he wanted to make sure to cherish this moment.

His fingers quickly joined in, rubbing your clit in small circles that sent shocks of pleasure through both of your legs. You were confident if you weren't bent over the counter your legs would have given out on you. The pleasure was nearly overwhelming, little trembles working their way through your legs.

“Hate to say it, but you taste better than any food I could ever eat.” Buck said, moving to kiss your inner thighs while his fingers continued to rub your clit. The food you had been so worried about preparing earlier was long forgotten.

You couldn’t do anything but moan, the feeling of his tongue inside you making your eyes roll back into your head. You could feel the orgasm building in your stomach, beginning to rut back into his face to get more friction.

“Buck ‘m gonna cum,” You mumbled out, trying to find anything to grip onto while your orgasm began to wrack through your body.

Buck refused to come up for air, swapping the positions of his mouth and fingers working them deep inside of you. The curl of his fingers practically threw you over the edge, a cry leaving your throat as you came all over Buck’s face.

Buck’s pace faltered a bit so he could help you ride through your orgasm, slurping and lapping at your weeping cunt.

As soon as you thought you were going to take a break, you felt Buck’s cock slide inside of you. A guttural moan tore through you, his length bottoming out deep inside of you. You were caught off guard, you hadn’t even heard him take his pants off. His cock worked in and out of you slowly, giving you a bit of time to adjust to his girth.

“Fuck, this pussy is better than I ever dreamed it’d be,” Buck practically moaned, letting his head hang for a second while he tried desperately not to cum already.

As he thrusted into you, he’d decided he wasn't getting as deep as he wanted to and grabbed your left leg, lifting it up on the counter to allow himself a whole new and deeper angle. The new position made you cry out, feeling his tip bully the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you.

Buck’s thrusts were desperate, he’d wanted this for too long to hold back. He was going to make you cum until you saw stars, he’d make sure of it and with the way he was fucking you, you were sure of it too.

Your pussy clenched tightly around his cock, your second orgasm already on the horizon. With your leg up, it gave you the perfect angle to slightly grind your clit into the counter. The cool feeling of the marble sent shivers up your spine, the feeling of everything beginning to send you over the edge yet again.

Your second orgasm hit you like a freight train, sending spasms throughout all of your limbs. Buck smirked, watching the way your body convulsed beneath him from his actions.

“There you go, baby. Such a good girl cumming all over my cock,” Buck says, rubbing a hand up your spine to hold onto your shoulder for more leverage.

His hips began to jackhammer into you, his tip brushing your cervix. His change in pace made you see stars, your vision going fuzzy on the edges. All you could think of was his cock barrelling into you, your thoughts slowly slipping away as you entered a cockdrunk haze.

Drool began to pool out of the side of your mouth and onto the counter, your jaw seemingly permanently hung open. The ghost of a moan that refuses to come out hanging on your lips.

“Look at you, all fucked out on your kitchen counter, takin’ this cock like the perfect little whore you are,” Buck said as he pulled your back against his chest, wrapping his arm around your neck tight enough to feel good for you but not hurt you.

You couldn’t breathe out a single word, nothing but moans tumbling from your lips. You could tell Buck was getting close, his hips began to stutter as he thrusted.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum right in this tight little pussy. Make you swell up with my babies, you’d look so pretty. Don’t you think?” Buck asked.

“Please,” You managed to choke out through broken moans.

He continued to fuck himself into you, his length twitching with every clench of your pussy until eventually he couldn't hold his load anymore. His seed coated your insides in a thick layer of white, the warmth of it filling you to the brim. You swore it felt almost never-ending, his cum pouring into your aching hole. So is this why people called him firehose?

His cum began to seep out around his cock, smearing a mess all over both of your thighs. Buck pulled out, spreading your ass to get a good look at his cum pouring out of you. He took his fingers and used them to scoop his cum up, pushing it back into you. He could care less if you got pregnant, at least it’d make you his.

Once he made sure you were good and stuffed, Buck went to get you a warm damp rag, wiping the evidence of what you two just did off of your inner thighs. Your body slumped into his, exhaustion taking over immediately.

Instead of making you walk, Buck scooped you up in his arms. He carried you to your room and laid you in the bed, crawling in beside you to cuddle with you.

Maybe Buck didn’t hate Valentine’s Day after all.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | 11.5

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 0.8k

—chapter content/warnings: not much!! something a lil more tame lol, prob one of the 0.5s that takes place right after the chapter beforehand, i promise there is no ill intention behind what's happening here - they're both equally torn about everything as san's good friends/colleagues

namjoon: you got a minute to meet up today? sorry for the last minute request but it's kinda urgent.

jongho: sure. i'm wrapping up. can meet you in the next 15 mins?

namjoon: i'll come to you.

jongho: alright then, boss.

Jongho continues typing away at his desk, responding to all the emails that came in today while he was off doing interviews for the new open faculty role in the electrical engineering department. He makes a mental note to submit his review sheet for the first round of interviewees and to review the applications for the next round tomorrow. He doesn't realize how quick 15 minutes flies by until Namjoon is swinging his door open mid-email. He continues to type away, but his eyes shift to Namjoon's figure as he fixes his blazer and takes a seat with a loud sigh.

"Long day?" Jongho cracks a small smile, typing up the last few details before sending it off and shifting his attention to Namjoon in front of him.

"Kinda." He nods towards his computer. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt or delay you from leaving."

"All good. Didn't really have plans, anyway. What's up? You seem a little flustered."

"Well, catching Yunho, Iseul and San arguing in a conference room wasn't exactly on my agenda for today."

"What?" Jongho cocks his head back a bit in disbelief, brows tightly knitted together as he tries to make sense of what he just heard. San had been giving him a bit of the story here and there and knowing Iseul, he wasn't exactly surprised this is how things were playing out.

He's just not sure why Iseul thinks it's her business to air this all out.

"You tell me."

"As much as I would love to help, I honestly have no idea what's going on.”

"Jongho."

"What? You know how Iseul is. She somehow still thinks she has a grip on San even after they've divorced and gone through all of that. Can't stand her, if you ask me."

"You don't have to tell me twice. But, why? Why is this a thing right now?"

"Beats me." Jongho tries to brush it off even though he can see the look on Namjoon's face, his eyes trying to study him like a damn book. He hates being in the middle because as much as he loves and supports his bestfriend, he also has the utmost respect for Namjoon and knows the guy will always be on their side regardless.

"That's the first in a very long time that I've seen San react that way at the happy hour event."

"Okay, to be fair, the guy was getting super disrespectful. I think any of us would've reacted in one way or another."

"Right, I agree. But, I know there's a story behind it. I know his anger was fueled by something else." Jongho sees the way Namjoon is going about this. He's prying for the answers he already knows, but he needs the confirmation and Jongho can give him that. 

It's just a matter of when.

"What if it was just a bad day?"

"Okay, you know what?" Joon leans onto the arm rest of the chair and gives him a look. "I'm just gonna go headfirst with it." Jongho cocks a brow up. "Is there something going on with San and his rotation student? Y/N specifically." He sighs.

"I figured."

"No, you knew." Namjoon chuckles a bit.

"I don't know. I really can't tell you because I don't know anything." Jongho says he knows nothing when he knows everything.

"Jongho." Joon repeats.

"Joon, swear." He says, even though he tries to sit as still as possible. Good thing Namjoon can't read his mind right now.

It started gradually before it took off completely. Jongho knows about the last minute meetings San has had to take, Jongho has seen the subtle glances, the subtle actions, the mood changes when you're around. Jongho remembers seeing you slip out of his hotel room very early that morning during the NAS conference. Jongho remembers seeing the polaroid slightly tip out of the wallet case mid-breakfast and seeing a tiny slip of your face in his peripherals. San quickly adjusted the polaroid and continued on like nothing, wishing for the best with that one.

And he doesn't have to be told to know you've been over multiple times. All the calls that have gone curt and short, the distraction easily laced in San's voice on the other line. He remembers the faint trace of your perfume in his home, the little post-it notes you've left on San's office desk.

Good thing Namjoon can't read his mind right now.

Cause, yes.

"I can hear your thoughts."

Well, shit.

"I don't know what to say."

"I need you to tell me yes or no, that's all. I need to make sure I'm going about this correctly even though I heard a lot today alone." Jongho sighs and sees how torn Namjoon is. They both are. They obviously want what's best for San, and they both want him to be happy. He is deserving of good, genuine love. He is deserving of genuine happiness because he always rides for the people he loves, goes the extra mile for them. He acknowledges and learns from his mistakes, he apologizes when he knows he's at fault.

He's deserving of all good.

So, they both hate that it has to come to this because it's not even you that's the problem. It's the situation, and they both don't know how to approach it with enough sensitivity and care.

Even though it's good to San, it doesn't necessarily mean it could be good for San.

"Yes."

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[dalamjisung]

A muted shade of green ✧ Chapter 9: His angel girl

genre: comfort, smut (minor do not interact!!)

word count: 5902

pairing: reader x spencer reid

description: you two take a step into getting back to normal... or at least trying.

a muted shade of green masterlist

previous chapter // next chapter

would like to welcome all the new readers and to dedicate this chapter to the beautiful @starofthedawn who's been reading and commenting on my chapters since the beginning <3 thank you for your undying support love! means the world!

“Happy Monday!” 

You want to shoot her in the head. You want to turn around, grab Officer Kaper’s gun from his holster, and shoot her in the head, and you want to stop wanting to shoot her in the head. For someone who probably had the most magical Sunday of her life, you are not in such great mood once the consequences of sleeping a total of two hours sets in. Spencer deals with it much better than you, and you wince just remembering how snippy you were when he woke you up with the same kisses that had you moaning just hours ago. Lucky for you, though, he only laughs and pushes a full mug of coffee your way. Spencer knows you well despite the little time you two have been living together. But then again, if he really tries, Spencer would know anyone well. 

“Ah, happy Monday,” You say, shooting Officer Kaper a look that has him snorting. “Did you have any questions about the starter email? Sorry it wasn’t super in depth, it’s my first time hiring someone to help me.”

“That is absolutely okay, I’m sure I can learn a lot from you today!” 

It should be exciting, finally having the store open full time and with help to keep it functioning, but you’re just so exhausted that you can’t find it in you to be your usual cheery self. Not when just hours ago, you were feeling like you had endless energy, charging through Spencer’s touches. 

After JJ left his apartment, quite begrudgingly, you must admit, you two finally have some time to breathe. It sounds cliche, really, cheering for the moments you two can be together without an audience, but lately, there has been so few of them that it’s almost impossible to not turn selfish when they come about. And my god, are you selfish then… Spencer can’t move to the kitchen without you following him. But to your credit, he doesn’t seem to be all that comfortable with moving away from you either, and that is how you two end up in his room, digging through his mismatched socks drawer with so much gusto that it might just look like you found the long lost treasure of Atlantis. 

“You have no matching socks!” You giggle, shivering a little when you feel his presence behind you. His breath hits your nape, and Spencer drops a gentle kiss there. “Sweetheart, do I need to buy you socks?” 

“No,” He mumbles and just by the tone of his voice you know he’s distracted with dragging his lips through your neck, biting, kissing, grazing. Spencer is having his own fun with you, one that has nothing to do with the fact that your feet are freezing and his heater seems to be giving up on getting his apartment at a liveable temperature. When you ask him to look into it, he chuckles and tells you that he can fix it, that he will fix it. This, however, doesn’t look like he’s fixing it. “But you can keep calling me sweetheart.” 

Cocking your head to the side, giving him more space to work his magic. Something inside of you keens at the way he grabs at your waist, pulling you closer and keeping you there with a demanding attitude that is new and welcome, and you wonder if this has anything to do with how he finally spoke out. Taking control of a situation is always somewhat of a thrill, and you think Spencer is basking in his newfound confidence by pushing it a little further.

Not that you are complaining. Much to the contrary– a sharp exhale leaves your lips the moment he brushes those teasing lips on the junction of your neck and your shoulder, and you can feel the way he smirks, doing it again just to draw a whine out of you. “Spence,” Your voice goes all high pitched with the way he adds pressure with each kiss, the way his hands slide from holding you by the waist to encircling you completely. “Spence, what are you doing?” 

His chuckle sends another wave of shudders through you. “I’m not letting anyone take you away from me,” He whispers back, taking one step, then another, and another, until your knees push against the edge of his mattress and his kissed turn into light suckles travelling all around. At this point, you get yourself ready for the bruises you can feel blooming on your skin. “I’m never letting anyone take you away from me, I promise, angel. My angel girl…”

One day, when you think back to this moment, you’ll blame the ‘my angel girl’ for the way you so quickly clambered up to bed, hands grabbing him by that tie he insists on wearing even inside the house and tugging him down with a force you’ll probably never be able to conjure ever again. You’ll blame the ‘pretty girl’ and the ‘my Y/N’. You’ll blame the way his eyes plead, oh so quietly but never subtly, for you to get closer, to kiss him harder. You’ll blame him and his pretty lips, his pretty skin, his pretty legs. 

Everything about his is pretty, and you can’t help the excitement growing in you with each button undone. Oh, the amount of times you’ve dreamt of unbuttoning these shirts he religiously wears, uncovering inch of skin by inch of skin, dropping a kiss in every new bit of him that you get to see. Spencer is not as quiet as you thought he’d be– he rambles, and pants, and moans, and you smile because you know you’re the one dragging these sinful noises out of him, and you know that this show is all for you and you only. Spencer is not far behind though, and his hands are as equally busy– they pull, tug, rip, unzip; they do all they can until you’re left in your mismatched underwear and him, only in his boxer briefs. For some odd reason, you’re slightly disappointed that his tight underwear, outlining those beautiful thighs of his, are not purple. 

It’s cute, how his cheeks blush when his eyes land on your breasts, even if they seem stuck there for a while. “Spence,” You whisper, hand raising to caress his cheek. You are blushed yourself, redness going down your neck and chest, but you don’t mind it much, not when he seems to follow down the path of shyness you’ve created like it was the map to heaven. “Spence, is… is this okay?” 

“So much more than okay,” Spencer whispers back, face turning gently to kiss the palm of your hand cupping his cheek. “Is this okay for you?”

“So much more than okay,” You agree, smiling wide and pulling him down for another ravenous kiss. Like an instinct, your legs move to wrap around his waist, squeezing until every bit of him presses against every bit of you. 

And then you feel him, hot and heavy, and you exhale a sharp breath that has him jumping, trying to put some distance between you two as if he had somehow hurt you. “Are you okay?! Are you–“ You shut him up effectively with one more pull by the legs, hips dragging your heart against him and having him exhale as sharp as you. 

Raising your brow in a silent challenge, you mutter, “Are you okay?” With every word your lips brush against his and for once, in a long, long time, you feel good about yourself. You feel powerful, in command… sexy. The last time a man looked at you the way Spencer is looking at you had been years ago, and it hadn’t even been Josh. Josh never looked at you like that, like you could solve all his issues and pains with just one kiss, no, no; Josh looked at you like a challenge. A task. An objective. You never want to be looked at like that ever again. 

No. For the rest of your life, all you want is for Spencer to look at you like he’s doing right now. Specifically him, because if it’s not coming from those melting, honey eyes, you don’t want it. “Oh,” You breathe out, too lost in your head to have felt his hand moving upwards from your waist to sneak under your bra, nimble fingers squeezing it in an experimenting feel. From the way he bends down to kiss you, other hand rushing to unclasp the garment and throw it somewhere in the room, it must feel really fucking good. He takes it to a whole other level, though, when his lips– those lips you adore so much, that you spent hours watching move and talk and lecture– wrap around a perk nipple. “Oh, Spence…”

Sex is incredibly intimate for you. Is an act of giving and taking and giving back, and it’s a constant exchange that leaves you floating, on good times; on bad ones, it makes you feel as heavy as a rock. Just from his kisses alone you already feel weightless, so you know that from now on, there is only great things coming. Great things like how he grinds his hips down on you, catching onto your most sensitive spot again and again and again, and you’re not sure when was it that you desperately pulled his boxers down, but when you come back to yourself, climbing down from the building pleasure of having Spencer humping you like an uncontrolled teenager, you have him stark naked… and you’ll dream of this for the rest of your life. 

Naked Spencer is not the most confident, but he’s not coy about it either. In all fairness, you don’t think his brain, usually brilliant and expansive and now working in a one-track mind, is able to juggle a lot at the moment, and you chuckle at how awkwardly endearing he looks. One hand moves to push his hair our of his face, basking into the way he smiles at you, so brightly and larger than life. “You’re beautiful,” You whisper, forehead resting against his. “So beautiful…” 

“I’m afraid that would be you, darling angel,” Spencer kisses you quickly rubbing his hands on your arms, your back. “So pretty for me… all mine.” 

“All yours,” You agree, arching into his touch. It’s not possessiveness that you catch in his voice, but desperation. Fear. Need. Spencer is not dominating you, he’s not taking and taking and taking; he’s simply going along with a pace that is set by the both of you. You two are like water, moulding to each other, soft yet strong. No one has more power than the other, and no one commends nor obeys. This is a collaboration of two weirdly shy people trying to push past their natural hesitations to make something beautiful. 

Your hand slides down his chest, between your bodies, and grabs a hold of his cock. For a man that despised touch, Spence let out an eager groan, pushing his hips up towards your touch, and you whine. You want to be touched too, and he catches on instantly. Your sweet profiler, reading you even when his eyes could barely focus on yours. “So good,” He said, clumsy mouth trying to kiss yours while speaking. “So fucking good.” 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get better, Spencer curses, the word so foreign to him that you can’t help the rush of excitement that runs through you right there and then. Spencer knows, too, with how he gently slides his hand under your panties, finger diving into your wetness shamelessly. “So fucking good.”

There is not embarrassment in how loudly the sounds your body makes echoes in the room. Mixed with both your breathing, your moans, and the way your skin hits so perfectly, the sound of your eagerness is just another instrument in the symphony of you guys’ pleasure. “Spence, come on,” You whine again.

When you try to push your underwear down your legs, Spence gently slaps your hand away, tutting at you with a glint of mischievousness. Instead, he hooks his own fingers on the sides of it and makes a point of dragging it down as slow as possible. By the time he has your legs up in the air and finally gets it off of you, you are wiggling in place. “Stay still,” He gently admonishes you, nipping at your ankle that rests on his shoulder. It’s almost like Spencer is adamant on killing you slowly, keeping you teetering at the edge of a precipice created by him and him only. It’s up to him to push you over. Safe to say, with the way his lips slowly move from you ankle, down your legs, inching closer and closer to where you want him the most, you are as good as dead already, now it was all about enjoying the ride. “I want to make sure I commit this to memory.” 

“Y-You have an eidetic memory, S-Spencer– oh my god,” Your voice wobbles a little at the first touch of his mouth to your folds. Despite your… occasional dirty dream of Spencer, you had no expectations for this at all. After your conversation with Penelope, it was obvious that your beautiful nerd hadn’t had the most common teenage-hood. He had never experienced those marks of growing up– had never made out under a bleacher, never passed notes to his friends during class, never put a sock on the door of his dorm. Besides Lila and Maeve, you know nothing about his past relationships, and you found Lila’s name because of an article that leaked a photo of them kissing on a pool. Sure, you weren’t all that glad to now have the picture of Spencer kissing someone else ingrained in your brain, but it made you happy to know he had people appreciating him for all he is, before you. 

So safe to say it surprises you to know that Spencer knows how to use his mouth, and knows it well. Part of you wants to look at him, watch him eat you out like the starved man he apparently is and try, your damned hardest, to never forget it. Unlike him, you’re but a mere human that, at the moment, is so lost in pleasure that you’re not even sure if you remember your name. Doesn’t take long to have you shaking in his hands, legs trembling around his head and hips pinned down by his hands. “Let go,” Spencer whispers, opening his eyes just for a second, just to catch a glimpse of your face as he licks you whole, just right until he’s able to wrap those lips– those sinful lips– around your clit. That is your undoing, and before you can even warn him, your thighs snap closed around his head and you cum, moaning Spencer’s name like he is the prayer that will keep you alive. 

“Hmmm,” He brings you back to life with the soft little trail of kisses he drops on his way back up. In his tongue there are traces of you, of your taste, of your soul, and you are addicted with well it mixes with him. “You truly are sweet, angel.” 

“And tomorrow, I’ll figure out how sweet you are,” It’s a promise and one that you full intend to keep, though right now you truly think you will go insane if you don’t feel him like how you’ve been yearning to all night. “But right now, I really need you to–“

“To what?” He asks when your voice dies down, suffocated by the sudden feel of his cock rubbing against you just right. “Hm? What do you need, angel girl? Tell me and I’ll do anything for you…” 

Seeing Spencer so lost in pleasure is something new. His hair looks wild and his eyes are hungry and curious, focused on you and you only. He catches every reaction, every little twitch of your hips, every breathy whine; Spencer memorises everything. This will be stored in a little box inside his head, for those nights alone in strange hotel rooms in even stranger cities. For the afternoons with too little work and too many insecurities clouding his head. For the mornings when you leave before him and he can’t make you whine his name like you’re doing right now. His name… my god, his name is all he wants to hear coming out of your mouth; his name and those little gasps that send jolts of electricity up and down his spine. When you look up at him, arms going around his shoulder to pull him down for a kiss Spencer is smiling. It’s bright and wide and true and you think– no, no you know– and you know you’re falling in love with this man. 

You hike a leg up his waist, brushing yourself all over him, and you smile back. It doesn’t last long, though, because Spencer chooses that moment to push inside of you, biting your shoulder in a failed attempt to hide the guttural groan rising up his throat. “Holy shit,” You mumble, eyes threatening to close. This is all very overwhelming– in the best way possible, surely, but still overwhelming. There is the sting of stretching grounding you, but it quickly dissolves into a pleasurable burn and you are sure you’re experiencing the best of both worlds, floating in an in-between space midway to heaven from Earth. 

Ever since Cat found out your name, you’ve been living in fear. Every day, every night, you can feel the thrumming of anxiety running through your veins– sometimes stronger, like your heart is about to beat itself out of your throat, and sometimes weaker, more of a hum in the back of your ribs; but it’s always there. 

Except for now. 

Right now, you feel nothing. 

You are drowning in a world of silence, in a motionless state of being… 

…until Spencer snaps his hips at you again and you feel more than you’ve felt your entire life. 

You feel alive.

On fire. 

Burning. 

Like every nerve in your body has been ignited, like your brain is working overtime, like the air in your lugs have been punched out of your body. 

You feel so much that you can’t even begin to put into words. But you don’t have to speak, not when Spencer whispers those sweet nothings into your ear as if he’s not filthily moving his hips and driving himself so deep into you you basically see start. “So pretty, my angel,” He whines, mouthing at your neck. “So good for me, feels so good, pretty girl. So perfect.” In his words, promises lay unsaid. Promises of love, adoration, fondness. Promises of kindness, gentleness, safety. “I got you, Y/N, I got you. I promise.” 

Nodding, you let your nails drag down his back, the sounds of it all getting a bit too much for you to handle. Spencer’s hoarse voice, the slap of his skin on yours, the breathy moans he lets out; everything seems to be getting to you, and you hope this never ends. You hope to feel like this for the rest of your life, like you don’t have to have a single worry in life, because Spencer’s got you. 

“Spencer,” You cry out, pulling him for a sloppy kiss. You two are a mess of tongues and teeth and lips and the more he fills you up, the more he pushes into the you, the more you’re willing to fall, fall, fall… and you so you fall. “Oh! Spencer!” 

Your orgasm washes over you like a crashing wave, approaching fast and silently but crashing loudly once it hits shore. It’s a surprise to you and apparently to him too, from how he groans the loudest he has so far. You tense up for a second or two or three or maybe even an eternity, squeezing around him oh so perfectly, enough to make him falter, arms giving out and almost having his whole body crash onto you. In his own desperation to cum, Spencer speeds up in such a delicious way that it feels like you’re in a never ending downward spiral, pussy fluttering around him until he pushes into you one last time. “Y/N…” Spencer moaned, keeping himself quiet with how hard he bites your neck, tensing as he let his pleasure wash over him in jerky movements of his hips before completely stopping.

Slowly but surely, he pulls out of you, laying by your side looking completely spent with a lingering hand on your waist. Takes him a bit, but eventually, Spencer gathers enough strength to pull you to him, kissing your forehead lovingly. “You’re… everything,” He breathes out, eyes running over your face to commit it to memory, to engrave it in a type of forever that only he knows. His own forever. You are his very own forever.  “Is it too corny to say thank you?” 

You laugh and look up at him. “Depends,” Cuddling closer, you let your lips graze over his ear. “Are you thanking me for a job well done?”

“Hmmm,” His chuckle reverberates through you. “A job very well done, sweetheart, yes.” 

“Then no, it’s not corny,” You giggle, trowing a leg over his waist. “But as an academic, I don’t think your sample is large enough to be reaching any conclusions yet, doctor.”

“Oh, no, no, I’m not concluding anything yet,” Spencer shivers a little at your teasing joke, eyes darkening in a way that is surely becoming familiar to your. His little smile is enough to have you pushing yourself closer to him, kissing his neck gently. “I am making an inference. An inference is an educated guess, and based on that, I form a hypothesis.”

“And what’s your hypothesis here, doc?” 

Clearing his throat, Spencer lets out a breathy hum and tugs you on top of him, thighs on each side of his waist so he can run his hands up and down your beautiful skin. “I think I need a bit more… education first, if you don’t mind.” 

“Oh?” Cocking your head to the side, you smile brightly at him. “And how will you embark in this search for knowledge?” 

“Give me twenty minutes and I’ll show you how, angel girl.” 

In ten minutes he was kissing you all over again, muttering your name like a mantra. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N-

“Y/N?”

Your head snaps up to look at Abigail again, cheeks blushing when you realise where your mind had just gone. “Yes? Sorry Abi, what did you say?” 

“We have a consumer, could you help me with the cashier system?” And when Abigail smiles, you’re back to your sour mood. Honestly, you feel for her– you feel like a massive bitch who hates on a girl for absolutely no reason, but considering everything that’s been happening, her enthusiasm sending you for a loop.

“Of course!” Doesn’t mean you won’t still try and be a good boss. This is, after all, a place of business. Walking to her, you guide your new store manager through everything she needs to know; the cashier system, the ordering and cataloguing inventory, the filing system on the shelves. Much to your dismay, Abigail is a quick learner and she’s eager to help, jumping into the action as soon as a client walks into the store. You’re quite grateful for that, now having time to actually focus on the administrative tasks you’ve been putting away for ages, and when the time comes to close the store, you look at her with the friendliest smile you can handle under the current exhaustion and soreness that took over your body overnight. “You did great,” You promise, locking the door behind you. “Honestly, I could already work that much better with you handling everything, thank you very much.” 

“It was my pleasure!” Abigail smiled. “Will I be given a key for the days you’re not coming in?” 

You didn’t think that far, but the thought made you shift a bit uncomfortably. Giving her entrance to the bookstore so freely means you’re giving her entrance to your apartment just upstairs. And besides Officer Kaper and the BAU team, no one knows where you live. The goal is to keep it that way. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it, for a while I intend on coming in every day to make sure your introduction to the store is smooth and seamless!”

“Sounds perfect!” When you finish locking the door, you turn around to find her waiting with an expectant expression. “I uh, I don’t mean to bother you boss, but how about some drinks to celebrate the first day? You can come over now that I’m fully decorated!”

The invite is kind, and as much as you really want to go home and kiss your boyfriend silly, you can’t. You can’t tell her no, not again and again and again, and to your surprise, and hers, you nod. “Yeah, why not? You deserve it. Should I stop at the store to buy anything?” 

Quickly shaking her head, Abigail starts guiding you both back to the building calling your name. At least she lived a total of one floor away from Spencer. “No, no, I have everything back home to make some mojitos.” 

“Then we’ll order some pizza,” You chuckle, following her inside and up the stairs. “On me!” 

“Deal!” 

Her apartment is strangely familiar. It looks a lot like Spencer’s, though you can’t help but miss the muted shade of green that adorn his walls, surrounded by a bright pit of white instead. Everything about her place screams single female; the neutral furniture, the romance books piling by the sides of the couch, the quirky decorations that bring some type of colour to the room, and the obvious excessive amount of throw pillows everywhere. “Sorry for the mess,” Abigail chuckles, closing the door behind you and immediately trying to organise the living room. But you see the charm in how it is, and you don’t really mind being in a house that looks like someone lives in. 

“Don’t worry about me,” You wave at her. “I like being in a house that feels like a home.” 

“Have you ever considered being a writer?” The question makes you laugh. “Sometimes you say some very poetic things and I swear they would sound great in a book.” 

“I’m happy selling other people’s books,” Is all you give her, shrugging at her suspicious glance. “So… Pizza?” 

You don’t want to admit it, but at one point, you start having fun. It’s right after the awkward talking time and just as the pizza arrives that you two start laughing together, giggling at crazy stories from her old jobs. For a moment, this feels right– feels like what a girl’s night should feel like, with the gossiping, the drinks, the greasy food, and the shitty romance movie playing in the background without you paying attention to it, besides a couple of comments on how Jude Law is so cute. “…And then he wrote his number on the receipt and gave it to me! The audacity!”

Abigail has just finished telling you the story of how she met her ex and you chuckle, shaking your head. “Honestly, I lucked out with my customers. You’ll see that soon, but so far, everyone’s been incredible. I had some horror stories from the stores I worked at back in Manhattan, but thankfully they haven’t followed me here.” 

“Hmm,” Abigail is sitting in front of you, happily munching on her food while she squints at you. “Is that how you met Spencer Reid?”

You choke on a bite of crust and the way you have to wash it down with your mojito is ridiculous. The alcohol burns through your throat but at least you can breathe better. “Uh, Spence?”

“Yeah, Spencer Reid,” Abigail chuckles. “The neighbour upstairs. Your… something. Is he your boyfriend? You never really clarified.” 

Blushing, you nod. “Yeah, that’s my boyfriend,” Saying those words out loud feels surreal, like you have suddenly added a seal of authentication to it all. “We’ve been– We are dating.” 

“Oh,” This is the least enthusiastic you’ve seen her all night, and something tickles your brain. Is she disappointed that you two are officially dating? Is she into Spencer?! “Good to know. Uh, did you meet him at the store?” 

“Yeah,” The mood quickly turns upside down and tension settles where laughter previously occupied. “We’ve been friends for a while, though, and I uh, I used to watch his apartment while he was out of town for work and he’d bring me books and–“

“Is he out of town a lot?” This. This is exactly why you always feel weird next to Abigail– her invasive questions. “For work, that is.” 

“I–“ What are you supposed to say to that? Yes. He travels regularly and I’m constantly vulnerable and alone at his apartment? Absolutely not. “I mean, sometimes, but he can take cases from home.” 

“Cases? What does he do again?” 

“Oh,” You need to change the subject right now. “Spencer, he uh, he works with–“ 

You are not sure why you don’t want to tell her the truth, but you and Spencer had never discussed a story, a cover up; but then again, you two had never discussed being separated. A certain level of codependency has instilled thanks to the current situation, and it just makes sense to assume you’d always be together in social situations. 

“Because Officer Kaper also knows him, right? He said something back at the store, and I was curious.” 

Curiosity might have killed the cat, but Abigail is the one who will kill you. Cat knows Spencer works for the BAU, why would her partner be kept in the dark? Logically, nothing about this makes sense, and you might be overthinking and overreacting, but telling her about Spencer’s private life still feels wrong. Dirty. Like you’re breaking his trust just with a couple of words. 

Gulping, you nod, looking around with a nervous chuckle. “He uh, he works in a governmental agency,” Taking a deep breath, you think of semantics, of words that mean the same thing but can be as vague and open-ended as possible. “Some team I forgot the name. You know how those things are, you can be as close as possible with someone and still not be able to tell what they do for a living.” 

Her laughter is enough to have you breathing easier. “Oh my god! I so know what you mean… but when you really like someone, I think you remember the little things you know. Or at least I do. I still remember that book you mentioned on our first interview–“ Shuffling to grab something behind her, she shows you the cover of the book you mentioned a while back. “I’m halfway through and it’s absolutely incredible!” 

Holding back the impetuous Spencer remembers everything that you so badly want to throw at her, you just chuckle. With every word Abigail speaks, it feels like she’s throwing a dig at either Spencer or your relationship with Spencer, and you’re not sure which one makes you angrier. “I’m glad you like it,” You say, and the buzz of your phone saves the day. It’s been buzzing for a bit, but you didn’t mind checking it much while you were having fun. Now that things have gone a tad south, you can’t wait to come up with an excuse to go home. “Sorry, let me just– oh… Abi, I’m sorry, but I think I need to go home.” 

3 missed calls. 8 new messages. All from Spencer. Quickly helping her clean everything, you smiled. If this is going to work, you need to put in as much effort as Abigail is. You need to stop being afraid. You need to be honest with her. You need to do a lot… but not tonight. Tonight you’ve done enough. 

“Thank you again for having me, this was actually fun,” You smile, giving her a quick hug before opening the door and stepping out onto the hallway. “We can go to work together tomorrow, if you want! Text me when you’re about to leave?”

“Oh!” That is enough to have her smiling wide. “Yes! Amazing, I will!” 

One last wave and you’re running up the stairs, unlocking Apartment 23 with the key Spence gave you. “I’m so sorry!” You call out as soon as you’re inside, bag and shoes dropped by the door as soon as you spot him sitting on his couch. “Spence, I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you I was hanging out with Abigail after work and she made mojitos and we got pizza and–“

“Hey, hey hey hey, it’s okay, it’s alright,” Getting up, he walks to you and cups your cheeks, eyes searching for… something… in yours. “You’re okay?” 

“I’m okay. Better now, but okay,” You mumble back, kissing his lips gently as a reassurance. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you I was going to Abigail’s.” 

“You should’ve,” Spencer sighs, nodding with a small smile. “I was really worried… But then I called Garcia and she pulled the cameras, so I knew you were downstairs.” 

“Uh… Babe, I don’t know if that’s the best use of–“

“I don’t care, I was going out of my mind,” His arms squeeze you closer and he hides his face on your neck. “I know you can’t be here 24/7, and we talked about you going back to work, but… but let’s try and let each other know where we are more often? Just while this Cat thing is not solved, yeah?”

“Yeah,” You agree. Your lips press against his forehead lovingly. “Yeah, I’ll do better.” 

“Thank you, angel. Did you have fun?” 

“I did, for a while. But then Abigail started asking some… personal questions and I just– it sets me off, I don’t know why,” You are clearly frustrated with yourself, sighing and letting your body fall on the couch. In a beat, your arms open for him, inviting Spence to lay with you for a moment. “She asked where you work. I said a ‘governmental agency’ and I don’t know why I feel like I need to hide you from strangers, like she’s going to try and do something to you if she finds out details about your life.” 

When he lays down, you curl into him. “You’re protecting me, and that is really cute,” Spencer clarifies. “Maybe she’s just desperate for a friend, you know? I certainly have been there before, it can make you lose a bit of that common sense that should kick in and hold you back from putting your foot in your mouth, or any other idiot expression people use.” 

“Could be,” Truth be told, you don’t want to talk about Abigail anymore. You don’t want to think about Abigail, you don’t want to think about Cat, you don’t want to think about anyone but Spencer. 

You want to bask in your silence. In you quietude. 

You want to feel normal again. 

This feels normal again. 

“Spencer?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you today.” 

Yeah… when he giggles; when he kisses your cheek, your neck, your shoulder; when he mumbles excitedly about his day… it all feels normal. 

---------------------------------------

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[crowsofdarkness]

Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Twenty

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066 @nameless-ken @minami97

The tension in the small office was too thick, it enclosed around my throat and I was unable to breath at times while feeling his stare bore into my back. His heated gaze would follow my every movement as I walked around the open area, doing my best to work and keep myself from locking eyes with him. 

It worked; for the first few hours. 

Today was the first day back at work after wallowing in my own self pity for the last week and a half. Needless to say, from the second I stepped foot inside, it had been so awkward to be around Bucky. He kept to himself in his office, the door opened half way, but when he saw me arrive at my desk he didn’t bother to talk to me. He knew that it would only result in one thing. 

Either me smacking him or yelling at him. 

He was right. 

If it wasn’t for Steve, I probably would still be home in my bed and staining my pillow cases with more tears than arguably necessary. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

I didn’t bother to look over my shoulder in the doorway, knowing who was leaning against it with their arms crossed over his chest. 

“How’d you get in, Steve?” I breathed. 

“The spare key you keep hidden under the mat,” he informed. “You do know you’ve been gone for the last week.” 

“Nine days,” I corrected while pulling the covers closer to my chin. “You can let yourself out the same way.” 

Steve sighed and was soon kneeling in front of me, his gentle fingers brushing the hair out of my face. My eyes fluttered shut at the feeling and for a moment, I forgot about the pain I had been in. 

“He’s not worth all of this, Y/N.” Steve motioned to the current state I was in. 

Unwashed hair, sunken eyes, tear stained cheeks, and my body buried underneath my piles of blankets on my bed. 

“I made a fool of myself,” I let out a shaky breath. 

Steve’s large hand began rubbing comforting circles on my back. “You do foolish things when you’re in love.” 

My eyes widened. “I’m not-.” 

He didn’t bother to let me finish, explaining how I was not in love with Bucky Barnes. 

“Why else would you consistently go back to him, Y/N? After all the hurt he put you through?” 

I parted my lips, wracking my brain to come up with a good answer, but they seized shut when nothing came out. 

As much as I didn't want to admit, Steve was right. 

I was in love with Bucky Barnes. 

My hand cupped his cheek. “I let the best guy go, huh?” 

A chaste kiss was placed on the inside of my palm before Steve yanked the blankets off of me. The cold air from my open window danced around the barness of my legs and I whined, wanting to feel the warmth yet again. 

“You have twenty minutes to get ready, otherwise I’m dragging you into work kicking and screaming.” 

Thankfully Steve didn’t have to drag me into work, I came willingly. Much to the dismay of the screaming voice in my mind that this was a bad idea. 

Some people may think that a job isn’t worth seeing your ex lover almost every day but when there’s one person there that makes it bearable, you don’t want to leave them. 

I glanced up towards the office across from my desk where Steve was lounging on the couch, sketch book in his lap. He looked away for a moment, eyes catching mine, and gave me a small smile. My heart dropped, knowing that with my own stupidity I had let him go, ruining any chances with him. 

“Idiot,” I muttered to myself. 

The front door opened and bounding inside with a bright smile was Natasha as her soft voice called out a hello to everyone.

I turned my back and continued working on the schedule for today. 

“Oh, Y/N! Did you hear the news?” 

I cursed under my breath before spinning around in my chair and gave her a nod. “I did. Congratulations.” 

“It’s so exciting! I’m still so early so it’s a bit scary telling everyone but I can’t help it.” She sat in the chair across from my desk, making herself at home. 

My lips pulled in a tight line. “Yeah, I bet.” 

“Bucky is going to be such a great dad. He’s so excited that he’s been looking up baby names on google.” 

Ignoring the stinging pain in my heart, I did my best to make sure she noticed that I had a lot of work to do by pointing to it. 

“I really should get back to work. Bucky left a list of things for me to catch up on that I missed.” 

Natasha waved me off. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if us girls talked for a few minutes.” 

I sighed, defeated. “Sure.” 

“So.”

She started to ramble on some more about how excited she was that she and Bucky were finally starting a family. According to her, they have been wanting kids for years but Bucky never felt that they were in a good spot in the marriage to start. 

“What made him change his mind?” I forced myself to ask, secretly wanting to know. 

Natasha tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “If I’m being honest, it was an accident. He’s always been safe, using a condom every time, but that night he couldn't contain himself. Practically threw himself at me.” 

I swallowed thickly, the pain becoming too much for my fragile heart to handle Although, there still was something else I needed to know. 

“How far along are you?” 

“Only six weeks so we still have a long way to go,” she smiled. 

I curled a brow with confusion. “Bucky told me you’re a few months along?.” 

Natasha’s face twitched as her shoulders dropped, but she quickly recovered by waving her hand around. “Oh, same thing. Is he busy?” 

She was quick to change the subject which only made the alarm bells in my mind ring even louder about this whole situation. 

Suddenly, Bucky’s presence was felt behind me which caused Natasha to quickly jump to her feet and wrap her arms around him. As they shared a kiss, I forced myself to look away like I did so many times before. 

“I thought I heard your voice,” Bucky said. 

“I was in the neighborhood and thought to have lunch with you.”

Bucky shifted on his feet. “Why today? You haven’t shown up in the office since last week.” 

This caught my attention and I peeked an ear to listen. 

“So what do you say, lunch?” Natash asked yet again in hopes of avoiding another conversation. 

“Y/N?” 

My eyes landed on Bucky, hearing my name fall from his lips made my heart skip a beat. 

“Hm?”

He wrapped an arm around Natasha’s shoulder. “How does my schedule look this afternoon?” 

I gave him a small smile. “You’re actually booked up. Mr. Stark is coming in to sign the contract for your new project together and Dr. Banner is at two o'clock so he can present his idea to you.” 

Bucky’s eyes lingered on my lips before he nodded, giving Natasha his attention yet again. “Rain check?” 

“You can’t spare even ten minutes?” She pouted. 

He shook his head while placing a kiss on top of her head, this causing me to look away again. 

“I’ll make it up to you with dinner.” 

They conversed for a few more minutes before Natasha reluctantly left, leaving Bucky remaining in his previous spot behind me. I kept my eyes trained hard on the screen in front of me, not bothering to give him an ounce of attention. 

“Y/N,” he breathed my name. 

I continued to ignore him even though my heart began to hammer hard in my chest, especially when he knelt down next to me, his hand resting on my knee. 

“Can you please talk to me?” 

The wheels of my chair scraped against the floor as I pushed myself away from him. 

“I have a lot of work to do,” I simply stated. 

He let out a low breath before standing to his feet and began following me as I walked into the breakroom, the door shutting behind us. 

“I missed you.” 

I spun on my heels. “Dont.” 

His eyes were filled with so much angst and sorrow that I almost fell for it. 

Almost. 

“You were gone over a week, I want to make sure you’re okay,” Bucky said. 

I shook my head with a set gaze. “You don’t get the right to ask me how I’m doing or say that you miss me when it’s your fucking fault that I’m like this.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Leave me alone, Bucky. Please. You need to focus on your family now, stop worrying about me,” I said while tears pricked in my eyes. 

“All I can think about is you. I miss you.” Bucky leaned against the counter in the room. 

I held firm, only giving him a nod. “Well it seems like it’s a one sided feeling because I don’t miss you.” 

His eyes narrowed. “Bullshit.” 

The inside of my cheek caught between my teeth, knowing that my lie was detected right away. 

“I’m not going to keep doing this dance with you, Bucky,” I ran a hand through my hair. “I’m only here to do my job then go home at the end of the day; alone. Or with someone, depending on how I’m feeling.” 

He pushed himself off of the counter, a shaky breath escaping him as his ips pulled in a tight, angry line. 

“You’re already seeing someone?” 

I scoffed, eyes drilling into him deep. “If I was, it’s not your fucking business.” 

“Is it Steve?” 

The way his voice cracked at the name echoed in my ears but I continued to stand tall in front of him, not letting him see how bad I had been hurting. 

“No, I lost that chance because I chose you. And look where that got me,” I admitted while looking at my feet. “Fuck this, I’m going back to work.”

We stared at each other for a few beats before I walked past him, ripping my arm out of his grasp as he reached for me. 

[theallianceofcelestials]

A big what if scenario for SEA!AU ; but how would KC and the rest of the family react to Eclipse somehow getting turned into a child / baby for a few hours / days?

You just opened a can of worms friend. I'll just use a similar format as to what I used with the WN and SEA characters meeting.

More under, because this is a bit long, and I should have done this last time too

The only way he can turn into a kid is obviously with some SCP shenanigans, though I'll admit I haven't done my research and don't know if there's any SCPs able to turn people into children (though with how many of them exist, I wouldn't be surprised) But even if there is one, he's an animatronic so it'd probably work differently.

Let's just say there're 2 scenarios, one where it's just a childified body his adult self is in, and one where he's both child sized and acts like one too with no memories of his adult life.

In the first scenarion he'd be very annoyed and angry. He's also try hiding probably once he realises the "danger" he's in. He does not want to be a plush toy.

Killcode

First scenario

The moment he sees his grumpy animatronic son in the child body, most likely after having searched the facility for him because he did not come back for dinner and he didn't mention any work related stuff that might take a bit, it'd be over immediately. There'd be no way you can get him off of Eclipse.

He'd always want to cuddle him, keep him close, and maybe tease him lightly over getting turned into a child. It's his right as a father, and if he's shouted at more than not, then he's just going to have to keep his laughter in more.

He'd mostly do this to cover up his worry, because this is his most fragile kid turned even more fragile. Eclipse is not known already in their family as a fighter, more a runner, but with those stubby short legs how is he going to get away from danger? He obviously can't let his kid leave his sight, otherwise he may die. He hopes the Foundation is working on a solution already, because if not there'll be hell to pay.

He'd be unwilling to let his kid out of his sight like this, going into full on helicopter mode. He'd insist Eclipse stay on his shoulder at the very least if he doesn't want cuddles, and he'd be reluctant to give him up even to their family. It's the I'm-the-parent-of-small-child instincts, and they've revived with a vengance he didn't experience even when his kids were young. Probably because his kids were always hardier.

Second scenario

In this scenarion the panicking scientist he was working with would probably call Killcode in, because he's becoming a personnel member anyway, and because they fear if they didn't, and tried to hide this, they'd all be brutally murdered. They're all correct obviously.

The child Eclipse, with no memories of his life, wouldn't know who or what Killcode is, only that he's been told he's his dad. Perhaps his daycare programming would tell him information about these things, so he'd know what a dad is. He'd just light up at the sight of his papa, happily reaching out in what his code knows is normal behaviour for children. It'd actually be kinda funky if he immitated how a human child would act with their parent based on what his programming tells him is normal.

Killcode, obviously, wouldn't know how to react. On one hand, that's his kid, on the other, he finds this whole thing unnatural. Kinda uncanny valley. He'd also be pretty scared his child was deleted and thus basically murdered. It gets proven wrong thankfully when Eclipse starts babbling about stuff only his adult version would know, like how he wants to go back to their room and play with everyone, and can they pleasee have lava cake today? It'd greatly calm KC, who'd go into indulgent dad mode.

He'd still be constantly cuddling, but he'd be much softer. He'd take this as his chance to make up for the time they weren't together, because maybe if they can make nice memories for Eclipse in this young stage of him, his past wouldn't hurt that much.

He'd obviously be overprotective, happiest when he can cuddle this toddler version of his child, and he'd fold to the faded-gold optics whenever they widen and make more sweets than he ever did. He'd be humming sillier songs when he cooks, watching the child toddling around happily, without a clue to the dangers and horrors he's faced.

He'd absolutely melt when Eclipse calls him papa, or when the little one pounces on his legs because his paws are funny, he'd sit on the floor all day sometimes just helping Eclipse build something out of legos, read him bedtime stories, and just fall asleep on the couch while Eclipse is in his lap.

Solar Flare

First scenario

Seeing its big brother so small and adorable looking would make its perpetual expression into the happy little smiling squints it's able to do. They're just so happy to see their big brother like this.

He'd obviously ask Killcode to cuddle his brother plenty of times, but'd make a bunch of drawings of Eclipse sitting grumpily on Killcode's shoulders. The wall would be filled with all of them, and Eclipse can't even be mad at it properly.

Whenever it wants to dance though Eclipse would deny it. He's just unwilling to embarrass himself even more than he already is. Solar Flare would be sad over that, and would want this to be over with soon. He wants to go back to hanging out with its big brother like usual.

Second scenario

The toddler version of its brother would have its heart in a tight-fist clench in seconds, and there's no stopping it. Even if it's a bit confused on who's the big brother anymore. The kid is still trying to fit that older sibling place, but because he's just a toddler it's... a bit questionable.

They'd draw lots together, do silly dances and Eclipse, despite their spikes, would happily climb onto their back and point it in directions to go in. It'd obviously comply, quickly finding amusement in being the horsey once they get over their fear of him stabbing himself on his spikes.

The two of them would also become very 'judgy' about their siblings, playfully poking at them together. Because of the toddler, Solar Flare can get away with playfully bullying its other brothers, who have to grit their teeth so the baby doesn't cry.

Bloodmoon

First scenario

They'd laugh their asses off. No question in that. They'd also be unbearingly overprotective, no question about that either.

They would curl up around Eclipse, despite him hissing and grumbling at them to leave him alone, surrounding him with safety and warmth. It doesn't sit well with them to see him so small, especially when the child body's battery is smaller and he just generally gets more tired easier. But seeing him plug in to charge more would be a torture. But seeing him yawning more would be funny.

They're also barred from dancing with him, which makes them slightly annoyed but they suck it up, mostly able to play Scrabble with him. Which is fun, don't get them wrong, but they're more physically inclined creatures.

The funniness of it would just wear off after some point and leave them with loads of anxiety, because he still wants to do dangerous things, but his body just doesn't allow for that anymore. They'd be freaking out by day two

Second scenario

Blasted SCPs! They're the eldests again!

Bloody would feel terribly shaky with their big brother being a toddler, even more unsure than ever, because now they're adults and Eclipse is soft compared to them. He'd be freaking out. Rusty wouldn't be so obvious, but he too is scared of screwing up.

Eclipse wants to do stuff with them though. He remembers playing Scrabbles with them, but now he finds it boring which'd panic the twins. He also doesn't like horror anymore, crying at the more grusome scenes, so watching movies/playing games they did before is out too. All that's left is dancing too, which they'd be happy to do, watching stuff like Jurassic park where they root for the dinos, and playing tag.

They're a bit rusty (haha) at this whole child appropriate thing, especially because they were kids themselves when their siblings were kids, but they'll try their best.

They play tag with Eclipse, play hide and seek with him too, pretending not to see/hear the little toddler. They'd be absolutely down to play horsey, get into tickle fights and just generally have fun.

They'd jump on top of the shelves near the ceiling of the room, leaving the tot up there, and playfully threatening to keep him there if he doesn't behave. They'd also throw him in the air a lot, and give him playful shakes whenever they're holding him.

They'd feel kind of nostalgic over it, despite never having interacted with children before as an adult.

Lunar

First scenario

He's laighing. Eclipse is struggling with life in general, and he's laughing.

He'd bully him so much about his height its unreal. All the shortie jokes that he has to deal with. He'd be epecially insufferable if he was taller too.

He's consequently be basically ignored by Eclipse thus, who would be a sore loser about this. Because he didn't sign up to be made fun of. (he obviously ignores all the times he calls Lunar a midget, those don't count because he is, while Eclipse is just an unlucky bastart)

Lunar would be busy laughing his ass off to truly realise how uncomfortable he actually feels about this all. He'd sometimes wake up in the night though, wishing to snuggle into a silicone chest, only to remember his big brother is small now. He wouldn't admit how much that bothers him though

Second scenario

He's uncomfortable. Very, very uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to handle not being the youngest anymore. Even if only temporarily.

He'd be the most withdrawn because of it in the beginning, only to feel horrible at the obvious hurt in the toddler's optics. He'd fold before long eventually, but only because he misses his big brother.

He finds he doesn't much mind the kid, maybe even has fun with him, even if they do have to play less or even different games to their usual. They can't exactly play scary games when the tot freaks out over it. So they'd play more stuff like Mario Kart and what not, even if Eclipse's coordination like this is not the best. Lunar has to throw a lot so he doesn't end up with a crying toddler next to him. He wouldn't mind it all that much as he gets into it, happily losing a couple times so the kid can be happy too.

He'd miss his older brother tho. He gets it the others are having fun with the toddlerified Eclipse, but he personally misses the Eclipse who's confident, smart and doesn't freak out over jumpscares. He's kind of sad about him not being there anymore. Even if only temporarily, Lunar doesn't like being an older brother, Feels wrong to him.

Sun

First scenario

He'd be having the time of his life pretending his nephew is an actual child. After Killcode he's the worst offender of cuddles.

He'd just hug Eclipse to himself, ignoring the angry mumbling and escape attempts. He'd however also make sure Eclipse knows he's just messing with him. He doesn't actually want there to be any bad blood between them.

He'd probably keep his cats away from him like this, unsure how they'd react. It's an amusing attempt when all they want is to snuggle to the snuggle-sized Eclipse. They'd absolutely bully him

Second scenario

He'd melt. And he'd go into full uncle mode.

He'd be doing arts'n'crafts constantly with the kid, snatch him playfully off the ground to nuzzle, and make loads of pancakes. He'd also have fun knitting clothes for the child, making a full winter get up with the mittens, oversized scarf and big sweated and cutesy hat.

He'd be careful when introducing him to the cats, making loads of pictures of them snuggling on the couch and bed. He'd be absolutely delighted to have Eclipse toddle after him curiously, and he'd ring his bells for him just to get his attention.

He'd be all into reading stories for him too, making all the silly voices he can. He'd also sew a plushy probably, maybe a little kitty to match the little Eclipse, squealing in delight when he brings it with him to everywhere.

He'd be doing fun bathtime routines too, making extensive bubble baths so the toddler can have all the fun. One night he'd just show up with a bunch of bathtime toys, and no one dares question him.

They'd also make a solar bot club with Solar Flare, and Sun'd teach the toddler Eclipse (whose normal, adult version taught Sun) how to make friendship bracelets, so all the club members match.

He'd probably almost fistfight Killcode too over who gets to snuggle when. He barely holds himself back, because that is still his brother's kid.

Moon

First scenario

After having a good laugh, he'd immediately start looking for a cure. Eclipse appreciates this, and would probably try sticking to him the most despite how he also makes fun of him extensively. In Eclipse's opinion, that's still better than all the coddling. That's just kinda the norm for Moon.

He'd try to act less jerkish though, simply because he's not immune to the size no matter what he tells himself. It's just his touch averse nature keeping him from actually cuddling. He'd probably do more heatpats, which he'd disguise as condescending so Eclipse doesn't realise he finds him adorable too

Second scenario

He'd keep away, afraid he'd fuck up somehow. This obviously wouldn't go down well with the tot, who does remember his uncle Moonie doesn't like tocuhes, but his programming is telling him to at least sometimes give him a hug because that's what you do with uncles. Moon would obviously fold eventually.

He'd allow the occasional hug, but'd still make it pretty clear it's only good if it's allowed touch. Instead of all the physical touches, he'd opt for quality time and gifts.

He'd teach the kid how to build things, proud when the skills he got as an adults kinda shine through. They'd build stuff from all sorts of things, from legos, from building blocks, from jenga and etc. He'd also get one of this for kids mini robots that you have to build yourself and can practice programming on. He'd also let the kid 'make' a video game, which would just be him sitting in Moon's lap and telling him what to do.

He'd also unwillingly go into naptime mode, reading bedtime stories so he falls asleep, singing lullabies when it's just the two of them, and even rocking him occasionally when he feels comfortable with a bit more touch. Because of this Eclipse would go to him whenever he feels tired during the day. He'd then curl up next to Moon, or even in his lap, while his uncle reads him a story and pats him like a kitty.

He'd be especially happy with all the ray skritches Moon can do, sometimes being annoying on puprose so his uncle will shut him up by going for his rays to make him sleep. Moon would be irritated by how he's outsmarted by a toddler each time.

He'd also take it upon himself to make him learn stuff, unwilling to let his knowledge maniac nephew sit idle. Eclipse enjoys these lessons, bringing notebooks he can scribble into. His notes though would be half badly spelled words and half drawings. Moon will never admit he finds it adorable.

After he's back in his normal body in the first scenario he's pretty mad and humiliated, and would be withdrawn and angry for a couple days. Lots of groveling would be needed to make him forgive people.

The second scenario would also end with him embarrassed in the end, but he's feel pretty touched by all the things they did for him. He doesn't want a repeat though

[xdollwings]

Shifting Entry #1

- Since I am a beginner shifter I did try to shift last night multiple times while i was heading to bed. I tried a few methods that people suggested but I didn’t feel successful. Before I fell asleep I tried a method of my own, just whatever felt right to me. This method was done by lying in a comfortable position, whichever I felt at the time. I either lied on my back or my side and closed my eyes then thought of the script to my DR. I thought of the people from my DR talking to me, I thought of the room I was supposed to be in and the color of the walls. The posters that were hung up. I thought of every little detail, including the 5 senses. I fell asleep with no luck. But I did have a dream about someone that I know longer speak to, aka past trauma experiences. Not sure if this meant anything. I then wake up at 12am and repeat this method to sleep and still had no success. Just the same dream moving forward. I wake up 2 hours later and use the same method with no success but I have a nightmare instead. This nightmare seemed severe and a little different than usual. I wake up again and again and again with no success. But this one time I woke up at around 6am and repeated my same method, I was laying on my side. My eyes were closed thinking of my DR and then suddenly I felt my body being pulled or moving on its own while I was still awake but my eyes were closed and my body layed me slowly onto my back again and then my eyes opened on their own and I was looking at some sort of cartoon and there were characters I was unfamiliar with. The walls were purple. I wasn’t in my DR I was somewhere else. Something that I didn’t script, it was weird. As I was thinking of a way out I pulled off something from my head. It was sort of a VR headset. I’m thinking this is some way of getting out of a DR but I wasn’t sure if it was a DR. I didn’t even script the VR headset. After I took off this “VR headset” I was met with a dream. I was in my mother’s old apartment and I set down some sort of controller and I woke up again.

- I’m unsure if this is a shifting experience but the way my body felt like it was being moved on its own was very different than what I am used to. Maybe it was a lucid dream, I’m not really sure since I’m a beginner but I do believe highly that shifting will work and I believe my thoughts will come to life one day.

[youngwonhui]

✦ live on my knees, make you see | ch. 2

*•. member: choi seungcheol x afab reader

*•. summary: your life goes on, and it leads you to more and more interweaving encounters. Things progresses between you and Seungcheol. More rollercoaster to ensues.

*•. genre: angst, strangers to lovers; kinda, corporate and family drama, life and misunderstanding happened in general

*•. wc: 9963

*•. warnings: unintentionally introducing corporate drama. no, i am not projecting. maybe.

*•. cross posted in AO3

chapter 1 | chapter 2

Shrinking.

That’s the feeling that has been eating your nerve for the past week.

Your team or your new boss never question you when you took a week to work remotely from your house instead of going to the office. A general concern from your team, but nothing that you couldn’t handle with a few excuses of feeling mildly unwell.

Which isn’t exactly wrong.

But the underlying feeling of being a coward doesn’t sit well beneath your skin. Getting you restless even when you’re lying down your bed, safe under the cover. Your thought runs to the unexpected meeting at Seungcheol’s front door.

You remember when your mom caught you once in middle school. Skipping class and spending time in a PC room. Unfortunately she had caught on your investigative mission of looking around the internet For your so called ‘father’.

It resulted in hours of your mother’s scolding. Back then it meant nothing. But eventually you realize that half of her anger wasn’t so much because of you, but because of the fact that you just unearthed. How your father is posting a photo of him and a little boy. Proudly captioned with somewhere along the line of a special day at school with said little boy.

Back then, or now, you can always recognize the bright brown eyes and high cheekbones. How he grown out of a curly hair and braces. If you have any conscience, you would be ashamed of stalking a stranger on the internet. But your anger, it stained your heart and then dried with animosity for years.

For now, obliviousness and daily routine will be your medicine.

As you took another step that morning, finally coming back to the office, wind gets impossibly brisk with every movement you make. Looking down to your feet, you didn’t manage to notice the familiar figure waiting for you by the entrance of the building. Disheveled as ever, tuft of dark brown curls making its way out of the tied hoodie.

“Y/n.”

Looking up, the sight of a visibly sleepy Seungcheol welcomes you. His lips stretch into a lazy smile as he makes his way to you. Dimple carving deeper the closer he came to you. Gulping down the words you wanted to make, you simply accept a cup of warm coffee thrusted to you. Another cup perched in Seungcheol’s grip.

“If you’re not too busy after work, do you want to come up later?” The man in front of you paused, a little unsure in his words but he immediately nodded lightly. More to himself rather than to convince you. Both of you know that you give each other enough respect to do anything you wanted to do. Or in this case, you’re free to say no to his offer.

The long curl that escaped the hoodie has made its way to his barely opened eyes. The warmth of familiarity hits your chilling bone.

How most of your morning spent bumping into Seungcheol like this. After he spend ungodly hours in his studio or apartment. Then, only when the day finally breaks and a glimpse of sunlight finally shown its way past the horizon, only then Seungcheol would finally steps outside to fresh air.

Unfortunately you can only remain silent, unable to offer him a word to cheer up his barely starting day. Fingers gripping the cup rather tightly as you rearrange your thought.

Noticing this, Seungcheol’s free hand enveloped yours. Warmth emanating yours as you sigh defeatedly. With one last caress from Seungcheol’s thumb, he retracted with a murmur of time. Somewhere along the line of not wanting you to be late for work. He turned to the door with a little wave and a lazy smile. You follow suit and climbing up the stairs a few steps behind. Until you arrived at your floor and Seungcheol turned around to you.

“I mean it when i’m inviting you Y/n, so please knock on my door. It’s only me and no one else. If that thought bring you peace.”

\\

There were cards and flower on your desk. Mixes of ‘welcome back’ and ‘get well soon’ written in various colours and fonts. Smiling as you accept it all. Somehow you’re not surprise they—your team, even ordered a cake just to commemorate the occasion.

You had vehemently refused to put on a cone hat, but you enjoy the greeting despite the overly doting attention you had been given. You thanked them more for the work that has been cut out for you. Working a little overtime to research and oversee on-site materials that you could have missed from working remotely. So you dedicated each extra slices of cake for the three.

At the end of the day, you tried waited for everyone to leave. But none of your team wanted you to spend extra time of doing any work. You tried to assure them that you wouldn’t, but they were adamant, resulting in you blurting out that you’re going to see a friend instead.

“If i see you typing on your comp—” It was time to clock out, and you barely lift up your head to notice three pair of eyes are looking at you who still has your butt planted to your chair.

“Are you threatening me Jisun?” You chuckled, making a show to cross your arm.

“Well, you pull this kind of things often. We just don’t wanna leave until you leave.” Soyeon’s reply making you sigh in frustration. A smidge of adoration for them.

“We just want to make sure you’re not overworking yourself again.” Chan simply stated.

“Well, i am not? I’m gonna just go and see my friend and not spend any time working on anything at all.” You raise your hand in defeat. The three in front of you shares glances with meaningful silent discussion. You can still sense the doubt between them. “If you guys have to know, my friend is in this building too. That’s why i’m staying and not rushing out.”

“Then we should escort you to them.” Chan suggested, met with series of nod in approval by his friends.

“Absolutely not.”

The finality of your word eventually makes its effect moments later. When you’re closing every folder and turning your desktop off. Shouldering the bag you bring, as you ushered your team out of the room and eventually the office. True to their nature, the three-left climbing down the stairs with curious whispers.

Presumably planning a coup if they eventually make their mind to it.

There’s always the option of going home. Walking out of the building to convince them further that you wouldn’t overwork as they claim.

Yet the other choice weighs down your heart. Images flashes in your mind. Of messy, curly, and sleepy figure in most of your commute. Always within reach but seemingly far away. Although you have yourself partly to blame about that.

Heaving out a breath, you knocked at the familiar door.

Rendering a smile in your face when the door opened to a sight of Seungcheol. Not much different than this morning, only less fatigue and questionably fluffier. Somehow.

He welcomes you as always, Kkuma trotting in tow. Little paws trying its best to catch up as Seungcheol lead you to the familiar open space. Where his living room and kitchen connected as one, situated in polar opposite.

You catch the faint melody flowing through one of the speakers Seungcheol has installed in various spot of the place. Also noticing the clean state of his apartment. As if Hansol was never here at all. Opening the door to you, resulting in the shattering of your living bubble into the reality.

“Have you eaten? I ha—”

“Hansol and me— he’s my half-brother.”

At the sudden confession, Seungcheol looks up to you. Catching the air you didn’t spend. Looking back straight to Seungcheol as if you’re gauging for his response. Or simply looking for encouragement. Strengthen the bone to support you from where you stood now.

“His father have me before he went to New York and then Hansol was born. I know his father knew about my existence, but i didn’t know that Hansol does too. So, imagine my surprise when i see him opening your apartment door.”

There’s a box full of your baby pictures, hidden by the dark corner of your closet. One picture stood out. Of you, barely opening your eyes as you’re being held by a man you never felt like a father. Your mother didn’t delegate it to you, but you kept it anyway. Like an unspoken open secret.

You wished that apathy is all you felt towards those pictures. But it was otherwise back then.

Barely entering middle school and deep in a childish dispute with your mother, you opened those boxes and simply enthralled by the notion of a ‘father’. Who left you and your mother. Barely months after you breathe the air in this earth.

He left after knowing you.

And that was the spark, of your hidden obsession towards your father’s new family, the family he didn’t abandon. A new partner, a boy, and a little girl. Such perfect family.

It goes on years and years, those obsessions. Until your mother fell sick.

The thought of old memories pricked your eyes. Regrets of mistakes you could never set undone. Clenching your fist tightly to keep your proper composure, you look back at Seungcheol who remained silent. Your eyes boring into his calm composure, clad in an oversized white T-shirt and beige jogger.

“My question remained, Y/n.” Seungcheol paused before pulling a plate on the rack. “Have you eaten?”

“I haven’t but—”

“Then let’s eat. I have to shamefully admit i spend some hours on this seaweed soup but it only ended up being mediocre. At least it had plenty of meat in it. And that’s a win.” You let out a mix of laughter and exasperated sigh at Seungcheol’s proposition.

“Are you not gonna ask me anything?”

You had make a stride towards him. Now only separated by the marble countertop of Seungcheol’s kitchen island. Leaning to the surface, Seungcheol raises his brow at your question. A rebuttal that jolts your heartbeat by a split second.

“Do. You. Want. To. Try. My. Seaweed. Soup?” The emphasize on each and every word while being uttered in such deadpanned face, you can’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips. Looking away to prevent you from focusing too much on the dimple that formed on Seungcheol’s cheeks by now.

Then, you could only give in.

Sat on the dining table that couldn’t be describe by other word than ‘familiar’ and ‘cozy’. Although perched on a quite small table, you admit that you enjoy the proximity of sitting closer to share foods with Seungcheol. Other than when you can’t be bothered and just sat sprawled by the floor with pizza box by your side. That was one night after you helped Seungcheol to bathe Kkuma.

With one bowl of warm rice and more than enough portion of seaweed soup, you sat and kept the silence. You feel like you’ve said what you need and now it’s just up to Seungcheol. Although you had an inkling that it doesn’t have to be up to him.

It never was in the first place. Clarifying your situation to Seungcheol. You could’ve goes on without doing so. Yet there’s a part of your mind where it knows that the fact you just blurt out to Seungcheol lightened the weight in both of your heart and head.

“Are you gonna offer me dessert too?”

Seungcheol looks up to your suggestion, lips tugged to a smile. Cheeks fallen deeper into his dimple. Brown curls down to his eyes but you know he raises his eyebrow. It’s like a subconscious habit for him.

“Sure, what do you want?”

Seungcheol gestures you to follow him, eventually leading you to his fridge. You stood close to the open door, flinching a little from the flowing cold air. It brought you closer to Seungcheol’s side. His one arm still gripping the fridge door handle tightly.

“Don’t judge me, but i just love to stock up on many sweets. Ice cream, cheesecake, cookie dough, pastry, you name it.” Seungcheol admitted bashfully, averting his eyes up and down his fully packed fridge shelves. Strangely you can’t avert yours from his side profile. The proximity allows you to notice how long his lashes actually are.

“You want to bake some cookie?”

Your eventual suggestion earns a slow nod of approval from Seungcheol before he leans closer to you and reaching for the pre-packaged cookie dough.

It shouldn’t surprise you that Seungcheol are not well versed in baking. Based on how he’s making rounds around the space of his kitchen, only looking for utensils and finding ways to pre-heat his oven. So to cut back time, you delegate him to assist you instead.

Mixing chocolate chips and rolling out the dough evenly only took you less than thirty minutes. Seungcheol could only exclaimed in amazement beside you as you eventually slid the tray of dough into the oven.

“Why am i not surprised that you’re good at baking.” Seungcheol started, placing a timer on the top of the counter as you both wait for the cookie.

“You can’t barely call it baking compared to when i used to do a part-time at a bakery.” You chuckled, wiping some grease in your hand with a towel. Setting it aside before settling beside Seungcheol. Leaning against the counter overlooking directly to the warm oven. “But i’ll take that as a compliment.”

Silence easily weaves its way between the two of you. Soft clicking of the timer, as well as pitter patter of Kkuma walking around the apartment.

“Don’t you want to ask me anything about Hansol?” You eventually said. Looking ahead to the orange light inside the oven instead of the man beside you. The heat from his gaze felt warm on your cheek.

“Do you want talk about Hansol?” There’s a low vibration rushing down your from your nape each time Seungcheol speak. “I feel like i’m not in a position to interrogate you regarding your private matter. From where i stood what i’m able to do is invite you to dinner, accompany you to drink some beer, watch a movie, or listen when you want to talk.”

You can feel the rigid muscle on your face, brows furrowed over some jumbled thought of everything that has anything to do with Hansol. Days has passed since meeting him up close, yet your feeling still can’t make itself clear in your mind. Rendering you lost and somewhat helpless. In the end you only feels pathetic for yourself as you try to force yourself to sleep every night.

“It was always me and my mom. We understand each other, rely on each other. Even though i was a young and stupid kid. She accepted her fate to raise me alone, and i always admire her for being able to make me understand how it came to be like this.” You paused, smiling to yourself at the memories of your mother. “She also understands my anger, my spite, as well as my sadness. So— i am sorry if i couldn’t tell you anything right now Seungcheol.”

The man beside you shifted on his feet before positioning himself in front of you. He placed his palms on your arms, holding you steady. Something you didn’t know you needed, even though you’re staying in one spot.

“Then we can just bake cookies.” Seungcheol whispers, resulting to a wet chuckle from you.

“You’re taking your position very seriously huh? What’s next, you’re gonna make me watch the rom-com movie you forgot to finish?” There’s a feeling of relief that Seungcheol didn’t retract his hold. You’ve grown to enjoy the warmth from his palms.

“Well, i happened to fall asleep last night while watching ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’.”

Harmonious laughter follows to fill the room. Above the droning noises, Seungcheol bowed his head a little in abashed. Fully proving how you’ve managed to read his habit like he’s an open book. You raise your eyebrow in reply, Seungcheol fixes his eyes back to you as he lowers his hand. Regretfully so.

But thankfully he didn’t move away.

There’s a sweet scent wafting in the air. Weaving in between the two of you. A signal that the cookies are almost done baking. Freshly filled with laughter and spurred by the smile that seems like it hasn’t left Seungcheol’s face, your curiosity gets the best of you.

“Have you been waiting for me every morning?”

From this proximity, it allows you to see how Seungcheol’s eyes dance around in surprise. Eventually his gaze returns back to you, a certain confidence lodged in his frame. Wetting his lips once, Seungcheol chuckled in defeat.

“Maybe i am, if i’m not too caught up in the studio.” You blink at his answer, a jolt of surprise running in your brain. “How could i not? After seeing you run away from me like that.”

“I was not running away from you. You know that.” A nod of understanding came as Seungcheol reply. You found yourself small in recollection of that night.

“I do, but with the state you were that night.” A paused, as Seungcheol sigh deeply. “How could i not worry? and then i found out you’re not coming to work the next day? I care about you too much to not do anything and sit on my hand.”

You were waiting. For anything, any signs that Seungcheol is just joking. Or some elaborate explanation of how he only ‘cares’ as a friend. But you’re only met with Seungcheol’s face as it remain in its somewhat default setting. A soft smile and attentive dark brown eyes, almost obstructed by his brown curls.

Desperation must’ve written itself in your face, even you could feel it. The words dies in your tongue though. Fear creeps up your thought over some word Seungcheol has nonchalantly uttered. You want to curse him for that, but you found yourself swayed in the thought of being a person that he cares about.

The loud ring from the timer sends your shoulder flinching. Immediately halting the long thread of thoughts in your mind. Reaching out behind you, Seungcheol moves closer to turn off the timer. He didn’t hesitate to smile sweetly at you before putting the quiet timer back to the counter and then left you to make a beeline to the oven.

Oh, yeah. Cookies.

\\

You almost bumped to a person when you look up from your phone as you’re replying to an urgent email that find you since the break of dawn.

Quick steps fumbling on the sidewalk as you tries to stabilize both your bearing and the person you almost bumped into. Sadly some contents of your bags flown out in the process.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t look at where i am going!” Frantic voice filled your ears before you crouch down the ground to pick up any fallen objects that you recognized as yours. The remaining already picked up quickly by the other person.

You notice the long flowing brown hair with accented small braids as it’s adorned by colourful ribbon. She’s quite young, much younger than you when you managed to look closely at her face as you both stood up after finishing to pick the the fallen objects.

While rearranging the contents of her bag with one hand, you notice her other one that’s gripping her phone tight as showing her screen displaying a map. You don’t know what came over you. Seeing that you never seen the girl around this time of day, while said girl is holding a map to some direction, you have a hunch that the girl is probably lost.

“Do you need help with directions?” You offered, quickly pointing to the map in her phone.

“Oh my god, i would say no because I don’t wanna inconvenience you more. But i am so lost. I think i’ve been circling around these block three times.” The girl exclaimed, a hint of annoyance painting her voice.

You make a quick queries of where she headed and to your unexpected surprise, she showed you the address to your office building.

“Oh? I’m actually going there now.”

“Oh my god. Are you for real?”

With a quick nod, you offer her to join you in your commute. The girl jumped a little as she gleefully agrees and immediately following your footsteps.

You make a quick apology when you realize you have to answer some email as you walk. Not being able to entertain the girl of some conversation. You should be wary of stranger, or at least paid some attention to your surroundings when you’re walking with one. But your guts telling you the girl is harmless.

She walks with her eyes wandering to anything that caught her attention. Your own eyes couldn't help to wander to her. How some of her feature, although hidden under the long flowing curls of brown reminded you of someone. The thought dies down on the tip of your tongue once you realize you've arrived.

“We’re here, do you need help findi—”

“Sofia!”

The two of you turned to the source of voice.

There was a rush as the girl beside you hurried to leave your spot and skips away in a gleeful shriek. As you turn to where the girl was going, nothing could prepare you for the sight of the other person.

The familiar brown eyes and high cheekbones.

“Hansol, i spend the whole hours walking around the street—”

The girl— Sofia’s words are quickly cut as Hansol lands his eyes to you. Even from far away, you can see the Hansol clenches his jaw tightly. As seem in resolute, he dragged Sofia by her elbow and make his way to you.

The fear that knocks you out almost a week ago strangely doesn't find you. Standing still as you held your phone in hand. You thank any nearby god that you still has strength left to do so. Who knows what else you would do in this situation.

“Ouch, dude what the hell—” Sofia muttered in annoyance.

“I— thanks for helping her. We will be going.” Bowing his head rigidly, Hansol breezed past you with Sofia in tow.

They leave shuffling away as Hansol managed to keep his hold on Sofia who put less effort on her struggle. Yet managed to turn her head back to you and wave with a smile.

“I don't know who you are but thank you for your help!”

Subconsciously you found yourself waving back. Despite your stunned thoughts from the whilrwind of interaction between Hansol and the girl— Sofia. And you.

Blinking the thought to pushed it away. You went to work like nothing happened.

Finishing task after task like nothing is bothering your mind.

And when the clock strike at 6PM, when majority of the office already leave or in the middle of getting ready to leave, your mind tuned back to those thought. Back to the surprising meeting from this morning.

Subconsciously you found yourself knocking at Seungcheol’s door. Pack of beer in your hand.

Strange to think that your muddled mind brought you here. To a place that you don't even know until a few months ago. Through some coincidence at that. The thought of many late night snacks and quick banter of conversation every time you bumped into Seungcheol has never failed to bring a whisper of smile on your face.

You wouldn't dare to admit it from time to time. But as your deep rooted habit remain a baleful shadow in your mind, you boxed that thought and feeling and wrapped it in the most beautiful ribbon. Easy in your mind so you wouldn't dare to delve deeper into it.

“Well hello Y/n.”

But it was so easy.

To swim into his dark brown eyes, framed under his strong brow. Nestled above his ever so raised cheeks that slope into his dimples every time he smiles.

“Hi there, wanna help me drink this up?” Raising the pack in your hand, Seungcheol is quick to take it off of you when he realizes what you bring.

With a slight tilt of his head, Seungcheol urges you to go in. Complying felt easy on your step. Smiling when you spot a white fluff coming in fast from across the room once you set yourself inside. Among the space you felt comfortable and in peace.

Unsurprisingly, Seungcheol already has a spread of little bites on his coffee table. Surrounding a legal pad and his ipad. As usual, there’s a flow of music through the speaker. Lulling you deeper into the warmth of the space.

Turning to a smiling Seungcheol, beers already set to the table before he looks back to you. The coziness are inviting you to spill your thoughts. To empty your day to him, in words uttered with the background of whatever music Seungcheol has put on. While Kkuma is somewhere dozing or strutting away her energy around the place.

Talking about everything but not the one you had been stored away, Seungcheol noticed the slight strain in your brow as you gaze at the can of beer you’ve been nursing for the past thirty minutes. A slight nudge on your arm took your attention from it and into Seungcheol. His gaze questioning.

“You talk about even the littlest thing about today. But why do you look like you still have so many more to tell me.” His voice are never demanding. Low rumble in your proximity as he’s always softly easing you to your thoughts.

“I think i met Hansol’s sister today.” The silence from Seungcheol are urging you to continue. Inhaling deeper with a hint of smile, you put down your beer to face the man beside you. “I remember when i was looking into Hansol’s dad, that he’s having a babygirl. A baby sister for Hansol. I remember i was so angry. I don’t quite understand why back then, heck i even denied to everyone around me that i was angry. Masking it all like a prideful kid. What a shame. Because if i just admit those anger, i think the grudge wouldn’t be eating me up like this. Making me live my days working like a dog as if i wasn’t enough for anything.”

Your voice has tapered to silence, the amount of alcohol you had consumed doesn’t quite helping your situation now. Spilling old and dried thought into someone like Seungcheol.

Wordlessly, Seungcheol slid his hand to yours. A light squeeze is enough to give you all the assurance in the world. That he’s listening.

“After knowing Hansol has a baby sister, i tried to forget about their existence. I stopped digging around and keeping tab on the family of a man that abandoned me. I lived, but like i said, i feel like i live as a corpse. Even when my mom fell ill, when she had to move to a care facility with our distant relative in Daegu because i can’t really took care of her and she wouldn’t want me to stop going to college here. Even then, i still think about them. I always thought that i would never meet them. That i could never discern his face among the crowds and we would live passing through each other without truly knowing each other. Yet here i am, bumping into both of them, and Hansol are probably thinks that i was a weirdo or a creep.”

A raised eyebrow from Seungcheol earned a chuckle from you. He know the reality of your last sentence. That even though years had passed, you still could recognize Hansol—and even his sister just from a single abrupt meeting.

The lack of sobriety in your part lets you feel a little loose. Letting out airy laughs without fully paying attention to the decreasing gap between you and Seungcheol. Sitting sprawled above his soft rug and leaning against his sofa. A crushed cans of beer put aside, your sole excuse just so you can come knocking to Seungcheol’s door and then spilling years of buried down secrets.

“You know, we all imagined all sorts of things in our life. And the funny thing is, seems like the universe are always listening to those, but they only listen. So that they could do things so out of your way that makes you think what you’re dreaming is useless. At least that’s what i always thought after failing to do everything that i wanted. A little silly thought to comfort me rather than blaming it in other people and then fall deeper into baseless hate.” Seungcheol giggles, his shoulder shaking as his hand remain on yours. Thumb caressing lightly in nonchalant.

Maybe you were much more lacking in sobriety than you thought you were. Maybe it’s the slight rumble of Seungcheol’s laughs and deep voice that you could feel whenever he’s near. Nonetheless, there’s something pulling you. An invisible force—first in your mind. As you circle around another thought you wrapped away, acting like you don’t even see it. Back to a few nights ago, spent together in the kitchen and with sweet smell of cookies.

Acting like you don’t know what came over you was easy. But actually doing what your mind told you to do is giving you such rush that rivalling the height that alcohol brings. And sweeter, even.

Your free hand traveled to cup Seungcheol’s cheek. With a surge, you plant your lips to his. Soft as you can feel the cherry lipbalm Seungcheol often applies. With your eyes closed you savour the air that has left your lungs and now filled with a deeper substance that bring a jolt to your heart with every second.

It was a peck on any other level, you’re somewhat didn’t dare to do more than that after feeling the body beside you froze as you continue your ministration. The audible little gasp from Seungcheol proven further to you that maybe a peck is enough for you. Enough that you didn’t cross any line to push him away.

You didn’t dare to utter any words. Simply pulling away slowly as your eyelids flutter open to the sight of Seungcheol, his face is a perfect example of soft steel. Strangely enough you think Seungcheol can read your mind. Because the moment you’re about to burst out of where you sat and scramble out of his apartment, Seungcheol has had his grip on your elbow. His palm felt burning on your skin.

“I can’t let you go home like this.”

His whisper anchors you to remain where you are. Buzzing with a newfound excitement when Seungcheol wouldn’t move even a millimeter away from your lips. A smirk on his lips accompanied his words while his free hand had traveled to hold your nape.

The burning hold he had on your elbow loosened but the sensation remain.

“I was so surprised, i thought the beer was mixed with something. Causing a hallucination of you actually kissing me.” Seungcheol’s warm breath washes down your lips. You can’t control yourself to remain unaffected as you bit your lower lip. Your eyes searches his.

“Well you can’t barely called that a kiss, Seungcheol.” You taunt.

“That’s true, here let me show you then.” He smiles.

Was all that you heard before you can feel his smile on your lips. The hand on your nape pulls you closer as you wrap yours around his, burrowing your fingers to the curly strand that earned you a satisfied hums from Seungcheol. His lips are still chasing yours with a small tugs to your freshly bitten lower lips. It sends your toes quite literally curling into Seungcheol’s expensive carpet.

There was barely any moment Seungcheol would let you pull away. No matter how breathless you both feels. The way you both melting into each other’s touch felt too good to end so soon. Not when you’re close enough to feel each other’s heartbeat in such proximity.

The months long since you’ve been meeting him, you felt like it sets so many things afoot. A roller coaster that you would never thought to happened. Your whole life have not been a flat ground so to say, yet the things that happened since the day you accidentally set yourself in front of Seungcheol’s apartment felt like it has to happened whether you like it or not.

That include meeting Seungcheol.

You had to admit that you’ve been avoiding the feeling you got. Each meeting setting off more surprising warmth in your heart. From the little smile Seungcheol gave you as he offers you a piece of gum each time after you’re done smoking to the time where he looks down from his window as if he’s a modern day rapunzel.

Unknowingly a chuckle had escaped your lips, bouncing off straight to Seungcheol’s face. Eyes half lidded as his long wisps of his eyelashes grazes his cheeks. He can’t help to mirror the delight on your features. You leaned into the thumb that has traveled to your cheek. Rough calloused surface caressing softly with as much care in the world.

“What’s so funny? Y/n?”

Despite his light grumble as you shift in your seat, inadvertently creating a few inches gaps between you two, Seungcheol kept his gaze to your lips. Curved into a smile, a rose blush painted on each end.

“Nothing,” a pause as you took a deep needed breath. Your muddled thought eventually settled throughout your long winded day. “I don’t know why, i just feel happy. Despite what happened today.”

Without a beat, Seungcheol pulls you into a hug. One that neither bone-crushing or halfhearted. Enough to make you feel the warmth of his chest, clad the soft materials of his T-shirt. Reveling the scent of his cologne due to the proximity, you let out a content sigh.

“It doesn’t matter what happened today, you deserve it otherwise. To feel happy.” Seungcheol whispers to the crown of your head, in return, catching the faint mix of coconut and a hint of floral from your hair products.

There’s a faint crackle from the speaker far away. Whatever song or playlist Seungcheol has put on might have ended. None of you really paid attention to it though. Time flows perfectly fine to slip into the bubble you both had created. Enough with each other presence.

The perfect mixture of warmth and happiness.

It flows through your vein. Seemingly connected to Seungcheol with every whispers and caresses he gave you. Nobody care that Kkuma has trotted closer and dozed off by the end of the sofa, nor that time has gone past midnight and you fell deeply asleep in Seungcheol’s embrace.

\\

Waking up hungover on a wednesday wasn’t really included in your weekly plan. Yet here you are, a dull ring reverberating throughout your cranial cavity. It certainly doesn’t invite any good memories from college. Not that you’re often passed out drunk on someone else’s sofa often.

Now that you think about it…

Forcing your heavy eyelids to open, you’re cringing from the bursting sunlight that welcomes you. Your free hand immediately flew to cover your face. But to no avail, the heat is worsening your already bad headache. Slowly being aware, you eventually realize the weight in your other hand. Hanging free from the edge of the sofa you laid on.

Nervously turning your head to your side, the sight welcomes you like the morning sun of fall. Such warmth unexpectedly coming through the fallen leaves and chilling breeze. How could it not when you had spotted Seungcheol laying down on the carpeted floor right by the sofa, his one hand tightly holding on to yours as he lay on his side. Curly bangs falling over his eyes, perfectly framing his squished sleeping face.

You thought you were going crazy as you manage to not tear your eyes off of the sight. Pink plump lips slightly ajar as he breathes, and the cheek who carved into a dimple when he smiles has turn into a full curve. Much resembling a bun.

A helpless laugh unknowingly went past your lips. Uncaring of the headache you’re experiencing. Wincing, you took a deep calming breath before continuing to glance at Seungcheol’s sleeping figure. Until a soft pressure applied to your hand quickly steal your attention.

“Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.”

Your eyes immediately widened, a slight blush went up your cheek at the thought of being found out.

Seungcheol pries one of his eyes open, looking up to you despite the glaring sunlight. He continues to play with your intertwined hand as he laughs drily. Seemingly in the same situation of hangover as you.

“I would take a picture, but my hand is occupied.” You laugh lightly, inciting the same response from Seungcheol. “Why are you down there though?”

“Why? Am i too far? Do you miss me already?” Seungcheol mumbles through his signature smirk.

“Well, your sofa is big enough for the two of us. So, my question remains.”

A quick flash of smile from Seungcheol and within second he’s sat up from where he lay. Messy curl nest of hair leaning over you. Close enough until you can spot the places where he had missed during shaving. Deep inside, you're trying to fight how fond you are of him.

“Unfortunately i snore in my sleep. Although yes, i do want to hold you close, i don't want to wake you up with such unpleasantness. So i’d rather sleep down here— which surprisingly is comfy enough, rather than disturbing your sleep. How is it? Does that answer your question yet?”

Biting your lower lip to hold back a smile, Seungcheol rests his head promptly near your arms. Softly mumbling how he's got to give Kkuma her breakfast. And incidentally, your stomach rumbled just after he finished his words. Fixating his gaze back to you, Seungcheol can't help the teasing smrk painted on his face.

“Would you look at that. Now i got two princesses to feed.”

A melodic deep timbre of laughter flowing through the room. You thought of how nice it is to be woken up like this. But for now, you still hid your face under your palm to mask the embarrassment.

\\

The sweater Seungcheol has offered you to change into felt impossibly soft. Added bonus point that it smells like him a little. Taking a warm shower after notifying your boss that you’ll be late, then Seungcheol already stood in his kitchen. Preparing the breakfast he had ordered. In a new set of clothes and a damp hair.

“How's your head? The shower helps right? I got some light porridge for breakfast.”

Even in a white T-shirt and beige pants, Seungcheol looks stunning. You steel yourself to brought up the words you want to say. Almost spending an hour in his bathroom, you had been filling it with some thinking. About last night and your feelings. How the flashing images of the kiss you share sends enough butterfly on your stomach that you had to grip the cold marble counter for it.

So midway through finishing your bowl of porridge and a side of warm tea, you called for Seungcheol's attention. The man by your side immediately raises his head, Kkuma dozing comfortably on his lap. Like a permanent accessory.

“About last night,” Seungcheol has his eyes focused on you, as you're trying to find the right words to say. “I might be drunk and might not be in the right state of mind. But i would be lying if i say that kissing you was a mistake. Because, I think i like you. And i don’t want you to think that the kiss was just, you know. A one time thing. Or worse, a mistake.”

The inside of your stomach would like to vacate its vessel. And it’s not caused by the hangover. The way Seungcheol continues to stare at you is as if you’ve grown a third ear.

For what feels like a decade, Seungcheol broke the silence with a big heave of the breath he’s been unknowingly holding. One hand flew up to cover the big smile that blooms. Bigger than the feeling of relief as if a two ton weight has been lifted from your shoulder.

“You think you like me?” Seungcheol has this teasing tone in his words, you can only bite your lower lip to prevent the big grin that’s fighting to come out. “Well this is awkward because I am quite sure I like you. What are we going to do with this?”

Kkuma whines softly when she's placed down to the chair. Now vacated as Seungcheol already stood and step closer to you. Your eyes trained to Seungcheol’s every move, you tried your best to held back the racing heartbeat. Possibly loud enough for Seungcheol to hear now that he's towering over you. Toned arms caging you to your seat.

His eyes inviting you to recreate your last night’s activity.

“You know I have to go to work right?” You murmured.

“I know. You wouldn’t missed work for anything. That far, i do know.”

A lazy smile blooms on Seungcheol’s face, he raises his hand to caress the hair that has fallen to your face. You shamefully fixated your eyes to his hand—fingers. Knowing that Seungcheol has his own eyes to you.

The event last night truly unlocking a whole new level of push and pull between the two of you. And you don’t know if you’ll survive through it. You might not be strong enough to resist the man in front of you.

With a chuckle, Seungcheol picked up your empty bowl and making his way to the sink. Picking up his along the way. Of course he didn’t forget to flash you a cheeky smile along the way.

You follow his steps, making beeline to the sink and get yourself comfortable leaning on the counter beside Seungcheol. Small little footsteps can be heard following you. Seungcheol laughs when he spotted Kkuma right after you. Muttering how he almost feels jealous.

“You know? Hansol recently talks to me about you.” Seeing the calmness in your stead, Seungcheol continues, “he also tells me about you. Your relationship with him. Even last night he texted me. It seems like he wants to ask me more about you. But he beats around the bush.”

As you sighed with a pout, Seungcheol only shrugged lightly to you. Finishing on the last dishes to rinse.

“I’m not telling this to bother you. I’m only telling you because, well I don’t want to keep secret from you.”

“Even after years, i still don’t know what to feel. About Hansol. He’s like someone far away that doesn’t even know i exist, yet i harbored too many resentments on him. Undeservedly. Sometimes i feel angry, another time it’s jealousy. At other time i felt happy when i saw the picture of his graduation. Imagine my surprise when i saw him on your doorstep. And then him, calling my name.” Seeing the apologetic look on Seungcheol’s eyes, you immediately shot him down. The words died before it went past his lips.

“Hansol, he just came back from the US. He’s been there to help produce an album. For almost two years.”

“Has he lived here long?”

“Well i met him when he’s already in the same studio as i was. That was when i’m on the last years of college. Then we got closer as we signed to the same music company.” You merely nodded at the new knowledge. Adding it to a box named Hansol by the corner of your mind. Completely oblivious to the look Seungcheol is sending you. A fine mixture of fondness and nostalgia.

“That…s great. I guess,” you huffed exasperatedly. Once again lost in your own leaping thought. Reminding you of why swimming deep into your work is your choice to drowned out any conflicting thoughts from your past.

The hand resting on the counter are quickly held by Seungcheol. A form of reassurance you have found both comforting and revving up your heartbeat. Unnecessarily at times.

“I said it last night. And I will say it again. Your feelings are valid. No matter how small you feel. Or confused you are. I am happy to be around and be a constant reminder and help you to feel better about yourself. Because you are. Much better than how much you give yourself credits for. Believe me.”

It took you years to quit your obsession with your half-brother. Validating your mood swings that plagued your young years. Regrets and mistakes in memories of your mother. Long long time to found yourself where you are now. Grounded and for a moment that it's worth, Seungcheol’s word brings you peace. It sets you free.

\\

A new sight welcomes you. In a form of Seungcheol, comfortably clad in a big varsity jacket and as cuddly as he could. He welcomes you when you dragged your feet out from the office.

Among the mass of people trying to get home, you smiled as you feel your steps went lighter as you make your way to him. As if you’re pulled to him.

“Hi there, have any plan for tonight?”

“As a matter of fact, i do. With my soft duvet and blackout shades.”

A pout instantly appeared on Seungcheol’s face upon your reply. A sight you found delightful each time you see it.

“How about i offer you better plan? The night is still young.” On extended hand, Seungcheol smiles to lure you.

It took you no time to take it in yours.

Seungcheol took no time to drag you off into the night. On a sunset car ride. To a place he explained as his workplace. He jokingly warns you not to freak out if you see any celebrities. But your reply only sends Seungcheol further into your charm.

“Don’t worry i don’t pay attention to any celebrities. I only got my eyes on you.”

Seungcheol almost forgot that the two of you are currently on an elevator in his agency building. He could just trap you between the metal wall and kiss you to his heart’s content.

Unfortunately he found a sliver of restraint.

His hand never left yours as you traveled through long white hallway. There are faint rhythmical thumps can be heard on each door you both walk passed. Eventually you arrived at a door, plastered with big decal stickers spelled ‘S.Coups’.

His studio welcomes you, as clean yet as homely as you had imagined. Quite big as to accomodate the recording equipments and a few shelves filled with trinkets. The studio does feel like another home for Seungcheol. Maybe that’s why you felt a sense of the same coziness you felt from his apartment.

Seungcheol invites you to join him on the couch, patting the empty space beside him. You waste no time to abandon your bag to the floor and snuggle close to him. Seungcheol already has his arms around yours. Going through netflix to browse anything interesting to watch on the big widescreen projected across the studio.

“I have a feeling you sometimes spend a night here.” You muttered against the soft wooly materials of Seungcheol’s jacket. The softness reminded you of something you own.

“Night? Try days.” You can feel Seungcheol’s chest rumbled as he chuckles out his answer. He then continues, “speaking of spending days here. I have to warn you just in case. Hansol has been sleeping in his studio for a few days. The pipe in his old apartment suddenly burst. A few days after he came back from US.”

“Is he— alright?”

“Don’t worry, he’s built like a tank. He only needs place to stay while his apartment is getting fixed. That’s why he’s at my house that day.” Seungcheol cupped your chin to turn your face to him. “I just don’t want you to be surprised just in case we bumped into him. Wouldn’t want you to run off from me.”

“When have i—”

Your cheeky smile is quickly wiped when Seungcheol brought your face closer to his and planted a kiss on your lips. Quickly, you reply with the same fervor as your own hand traveled up to his jacket’s lapel and found your anchor there. Seungcheol pulls you closer— bringing you in for another kiss, breathing in your little gasp as Seungcheol easily positioned you to straddle him. Good thing that you have tight hold to him.

You haven’t cared to admit, but the hold he has on you is escalating at an astronomical rate it almosy flungs you up to the stratosphere. It got you fixated on Seungcheol’s every move and admire each flex of his face muscle that forms his dimple.

Ok maybe not only his face muscle.

You took the time to admire his other muscles altogether. Running your hand along his broad shoulder, you didn’t hesitate to bunch the fabric of his T-shirt and give it a tug. Seungcheol is quick to respond with a groan as he chases your lips further. You took a deep breath, willing your body be closer to him, impossibly. Melding your torso as you moved your hands to circle around Seungcheol’s neck when he begins to take off his jacket.

The heat escalade around the two of you.

Until his phone vibrate by the small coffee table. Quiet buzz can be heard behind you.

“Seungcheol, you have a call.” You whispered slowly, lips barely leaving each other. The man in front of you huffed with a smirk. His hold never falters, growing warmer with every second.

“I am aware of that.” Seungcheol replies, hurried words as he still chasing your lips. Equally whispering, his deep voice hums across your lips.

“What if it’s something important?”

“More than this?”

Sometimes, you hate being levelheaded.

You obviously dislike pulling away from Seungcheol’s lips. The sentiment mirrored by Seungcheol. Swiftly reaching out behind your back to his phone, the device still buzzing in your grip as you handed it to Seungcheol.

When the man under you groans, you begin to regret your decision. You hate it more that Seungcheol is too observant of your reaction. You shamefully biting your lower lip, staring intently as Seungcheol eventually accepts the call on his phone. His gaze boring to yours, his hand freely roamed the small of your back.

You have to admit that none of the conversation registered to your ears. So when Seungcheol ended his calls and readjust his hold to you, who still conveniently straddling his lap, you instinctively loop your arm around his neck.

“I have to meet the CEO now.” When your eyes rounded in surprise. Eventually discerning his words, Seungcheol only chuckles before pecking your lips. “I hope you’re happy. For making me take that call.”

“Wait, do you actually have to go?”

“Don’t miss me too much dear. I’ll try to be quick.”

Seungcheol leaves you no time to register the term of endearment he just addressed you with. It took you with the same surprise as he maneuvers easily to flip you around. Your yelp followed by the thud as you landed on your back against the sofa. Seungcheol still grinning devilishly. He leaves you with a quick peck and letting you know to his mini fridge in case you feel like snacking.

When the door clicking close, you slumped into the sofa. Feeling childish at the amount of regret you developed for letting Seungcheol take that call. Quickly brushing away the thought, you rose from the sofa and decided to take a closer look around the studio.

The big shelf stood on one side of the wall are full of little trinkets that’s best described as a look inside Seungcheol’s life. Picture frames, old baseball, and many signed memorabilia from possibly the biggest star that you could have imagined. Yet you’re oblivious to them.

It brought a smile to your face when you can spot Seungcheol smiling in almost all of the picture you see. With Kkuma, his friends, family, and much more of him in a new light that you’ve never seen before. One picture caught your attention, Seungcheol are clad in the same varsity jacket, arm slung to what seems to look like a younger Hansol, with longer tuft of messy brown hair and braces. There’s two other people in the picture but your eyes fixated on the two.

Just how long they’ve been known each other? If you had continued your attention towards Hansol, would you have known about Seungcheol back then?

The sound of the studio door unlocking caught your attention.

You were ecstatic to welcomes Seungcheol back but the door opens to another person.

“Seungcheol hyung, can i have some of—”

In retrospect, it’s a good thing that Seungcheol actually warned you earlier. Because right now, Hansol stood right there, just a mere meters before you. Without looking in the mirror you’re convinced that the look in both of your face are the same. Like a fish gasping for air.

Eventually Hansol snapped out of his stupor, shaking his head before averting his eyes. With both of his hands clenched, Hansol about to pivoted on his feet and hurried to make his way out of the studio. But not before you called out to him. Your mouth ran faster before you could pull the brake. But no use crying over spilled milk.

“I— i’m sorry if i make you uncomfortable that day. I heard that you were crashing at Seungcheol’s place and well— i just feel like i need to say sorry to you.” Throughout your words, Hansol went visibly rigid. A frown has settled in his face as time goes by, but you continue on to voice your words. “Also, i hope your sister are okay that day. She was wandering around and i—”

“Please— stop,” Hansol voice is small. Almost sound so choked up it surprises even himself. “Please just, stop. Please.”

When you took an instinctive step towards Hansol, the man staggers backward before eventually leaves the room in such hurries. You could never forgot the face he made as he left. It burns the same as the memories of your young. But unlike the smiles that you followed.

After Hansol left, you feel like you could count the seconds but at the same time, your mind couldn’t tear itself off of the image of Hansol. Leaving you with such pain visible in his frame. Eventually you were so lost in your thought that you didn’t even hear Seungcheol returning to the studio in grins.

Instantly the sight brought a small smile to your face. Seungcheol doesn’t waste any time to cuddle you on the sofa. Getting himself comfortable as he lay snug in your arms. You can’t help the giggle that escaped your lips as you do the same. Shifting in your seat to accommodate Seungcheol’s big frame to fit your hold. It doesn’t surprise you that he enjoys being a little spoon.

The frequent appearance of pout on his lips are one of the sign.

“What were you doing while i was gone?” Seungcheol starts, his fingers are making quick to the remote. Still in a mission to search a movie to watch on netflix.

“Hmm, not much. Hansol came here.” To this, Seungcheol immediately straighten up from your hold. A pair of confused and widened eyes scanning your face for answer. You smiles at his reaction. “He left almost immediately though. Not before looking like he’s somewhat in pain.”

Seungcheol hands quickly cups your head and hugs you close. Leaning into his touch felt like the most natural thing to do. Letting the warmth envelope you whole while at the same time calming your thought and lifted up your mood.

“Do you need me to talk to him?” Seungcheol voiced out, instantly you shook your head.

“No. I will talk to him myself if there’s a problem. I’m just more worried and confused. We just met and Hansol looks at me like that.”

Sensing your somewhat unsettled mood, Seungcheol determined to make you feel better. He flashes a grin to your questioning gaze as he suddenly vacate his spot. Opening the hidden drawer under his big desk, Seungcheol came back to your side with abundant of snacks in his hold.

A familiar sight of your favourite coffee bun immediately caught your attention. Eyes widening in surprise upon the sight of the rare treats.

“How did you have these! I love this.” You exclaimed. Seungcheol beside you are busy opening what looks to be a melon bread and a few more spread of pastries on to the table.

“Oh, now i know what to watch.” Seungcheol exclaimed, grinning at the sight of you munching lightly on your indulgent treat. “Nanny McPhee, how about that?”

“Now are you spoiling me? Favourite treat and then movie?”

“I know. Aren’t i just the best, huh?” You tried to maintain a straight face as Seungcheol playfully winks at you. Yet you can’t help to reply back by frowning at him.

As the movie starts you can feel yourself getting calmer. Your previously distraught mind is now filled with warmth and playful smile from Seungcheol. While the man has his eyes forward, you carefully scan him. A wisp of smile on your face to the sight you have familiarize enough in your heart. Each time Seungcheol has managed to surprise you with encouraging words to validate your feelings, as well as every little acts that sets your heartbeat faster.

“You know, i noticed that we used to go to the same college. I saw your old photo with varsity jacket. The same one you wore today. I just realized that.” You pointed out, eyes focusing as the opening narration begins to fade with whimsical music. “I might not be an avid almamater, but I have a varsity scarf myself. I love them.”

Wordlessly, Seungcheol took you to his arms. Another attempt to cuddle comfortably and let the familiar movie lulls the both of you deeper into the house full of children wrecking havoc. He’s heard you mentioned this movie a few times. At first denying that it was your favourite comfort movie. But as times passed and Seungcheol pointed out you begin to admit so. With a sheepish grin and endless teasing in that afternoon.

With his eyes forward as he tries to immerse himself with the colourful old english countryside, Seungcheol’s thought remain on your words. His memories flow like the quiet river. He decided that to let it remain untouched.

“Well i used to go there, but i never graduated sadly. I think i enjoyed too many free time that i have, going in and out the studio as i like and getting rewarded for things i used to do just for my hobby.” Seungcheol’s admittance is followed by a wisp of smile, somehow you can feel it entirety on your mind.

“But don’t you love it now?” Seungcheol fears you can feel the thump in his heart so he stutters out a laugh. Looking up to him, you smiles before kissing him softly. Humming along the now softer thrum in his vein as he capture your lips in reply.

“I’ve grown to,” Seungcheol only pulls back enough far enough. Half lidded as he kept his lips hovering above yours. “All the culmination of it, is what makes me here now. With you.”

\\

prev chapter || next chapter

[enemiestolovershoe]

I just found your blog now and holy crap am I glad I did !!! Your JJ fics are seriously so AMAZING 🤩.

Could I pls request JJ x fem where she convinces her parents to let her boyfriend come with them on their annual lake house vacation, Her mom is a sweetie pie and instantly gives approval but her dad very reluctantly agrees hoping their relationship is a just a brief summer love fling because God forbid her daughter is in love with a pogue. He tries to break them up one night and she’s (reader) is not having it all… Angsty with some smut cause it’s JJ 😜 happy ending perhaps with him proposing to her as a nice touch🩵.

Somewhat inspired by the movie “Endless Love”

Tysm hope it’s not too long/confusing explanation 🫣.

Summer Heat

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summary: The request explains it.

Words: 1k

Warnings: some fighting between y/n and her dad.

A/N: I haven’t seen Endless Love but I read a few summaries and tried to capture what you were looking for. I didn’t include any smut bc I wasn’t in the mood to write it that day. I’m sorry about that, but I still hope you enjoy it! :)

The morning sun filtered through the blinds of your bedroom as you packed the last of your bags for the annual lake house vacation. You were practically buzzing with excitement, knowing that this year was different. For the first time, JJ Maybank—your boyfriend of the past year—would be joining you and your family.

You had spent weeks convincing your parents to let him come along. Your mom was on board from the beginning, always quick to support you and, in her words, “happy to meet the boy who makes my daughter glow.” Your dad, on the other hand, wasn’t as easily swayed. His protective nature amplified when it came to your relationship with JJ, whom he viewed as reckless and irresponsible—a “pogue,” in his words, who wasn’t good enough for you.

Despite his reluctance, you finally got him to agree after promising JJ would sleep in the guest cabin and be on his best behavior. But you knew that was only half the battle. You were determined to show your dad how wrong he was about JJ.

“Are you sure about this?” JJ asked as he carried your suitcase to the back of your car. His trademark smirk softened into a more nervous expression.

“Yes,” you said firmly, reaching up to cup his face. “I want you there with me. Don’t let my dad get in your head, okay?”

JJ exhaled and nodded. “Alright, but if he challenges me to a duel or something, you’re stepping in.”

You laughed, leaning up to kiss him briefly. “Deal.”

The lake house was as picturesque as ever, surrounded by towering pines and a crystal-clear lake that sparkled under the afternoon sun. Your mom greeted JJ with open arms the moment he stepped out of the car, pulling him into a hug and exclaiming, “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you, JJ! Y/N talks about you all the time.”

“Good things, I hope,” JJ said, his easy charm shining through.

“Of course, sweetie!” your mom said, giving you a knowing smile.

Your dad stood off to the side, arms crossed as he surveyed JJ with a critical eye. “Let’s get the bags inside,” he said gruffly, brushing past without offering a greeting.

JJ’s shoulders tensed, but he covered it with a grin directed at you. “Fun times already,” he muttered under his breath.

You sighed, silently vowing to make this trip work.

The first few days went smoothly. JJ fit in effortlessly with your mom, helping her cook dinner and making her laugh with his endless stories. He spent hours swimming and kayaking with you on the lake, his carefree energy infectious.

But your dad remained distant, watching JJ like a hawk and making snide comments whenever he got the chance. “So, JJ,” your dad said one evening during dinner. “What’s your plan for the future? Or do you just plan to drift through life?”

JJ set his fork down and met your dad’s gaze. “I’m working at the marina right now, saving up for a boat of my own. I’d like to start a charter business someday.”

Your dad raised an eyebrow. “A charter business? Sounds...ambitious.”

“Dad,” you interjected, your tone sharp.

“It’s alright, Y/N,” JJ said, squeezing your hand under the table. “It’s not easy, but I’m willing to put in the work. I’ve got goals, even if they don’t look like the ones you might expect.”

Your mom quickly changed the subject, but the tension lingered.

It all came to a head on the fourth night. You were sitting on the dock with JJ, your feet dangling in the water as the sun set. It was peaceful, just the two of you laughing and talking in the warm evening air.

But when you returned to the house, your dad was waiting in the living room. “Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?” he said, his voice clipped.

JJ started to follow, but your dad held up a hand. “Alone.”

You exchanged a glance with JJ, who nodded reluctantly.

“What is it, Dad?” you asked once you were in the kitchen.

“I’ve been patient,” he began, pacing the room. “I’ve given JJ a chance, even though I don’t think he’s right for you. But this...this thing between you two—it’s a summer fling, Y/N. It’s not real.”

Your jaw dropped. “Not real? Are you serious? JJ and I have been together for a year.”

“He’s not good enough for you,” your dad said bluntly. “He doesn’t have a stable job or a secure future. What happens when this little romance fizzles out, and you’re left picking up the pieces?”

“Wow,” you said, your voice shaking with anger. “You don’t even know him, Dad. You’ve already decided he’s not worth anything because he doesn’t fit into your perfect little box.”

“I just want what’s best for you,” he said, his tone softening.

“No,” you snapped. “You want what you think is best for me. But guess what? I’m an adult. I get to choose who I love, and I choose JJ.”

Your dad’s face hardened. “You’re making a mistake.”

“Then it’s my mistake to make,” you said fiercely, tears stinging your eyes.

You turned on your heel and stormed out, finding JJ waiting on the porch. His expression was a mix of concern and determination. “I heard yelling. Are you okay?”

“Not really,” you admitted, throwing your arms around him. “But I don’t care what he says. I love you, JJ. I’m not letting him come between us.”

JJ pulled back to look at you, his blue eyes searching yours. “You mean that?”

“Of course I mean that,” you said.

He smiled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. “Because I was hoping you’d say that.”

Your heart skipped a beat as he dropped to one knee. “Y/N, I know this isn’t the most romantic timing, but I’ve been carrying this around for weeks, waiting for the right moment. I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you nodded. “Yes! A thousand times yes!”

JJ slipped the ring onto your finger and stood, pulling you into a deep kiss.

Inside the house, your mom was watching through the window, a wide smile on her face. Your dad stood behind her, his expression unreadable. But for the first time, he didn’t say a word.

A/N: This will be my last JJ fic for a while. I’m just not feeling the same connection to him and Rafe as I used to. I’m sorry, and I hope you understand.

Taglist: @courta13

[wewontbesleeping]

tomorrow is going to be such a long day and it's also going to be sooo fucking cold. idk how i'm going to handle it!!!

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

[fakebwitch]

reader being obsessed with rafe’s biceps and he wants to please her

·········⋆༺𓆩❀𓆪༻⋆·········

rafe is obviously aware of how fitnessed and perfect his body is, and he also knows how obsessed you are. when you two fuck your hands are always somehow on his body, from when you ride him, holding yourself on his muscular legs or placing your hands on his chest, or when y’all are doing missionary, your nails dig into the skin of his back as he thrust hard inside you or tighten around his biceps.

speaking of biceps, they were your favorite thing. I mean, you loved every single thing about his body, his back, his shoulders, his abs, his thigh but biceps would do it for you everytime. you would drool every time you see him wearing one of his short-sleeved polo shirts, putting his muscular arm in perfect view, your eyes would carefully observe every single contraction, asking him to open a simple bottle of water or fix something that you had voluntarily broken just to enjoy the sight of his arms at work.

you loved having his strong arms holding you close to him, there was nothing that made you happier when at night, after a long day, his arms wrapped around your figure pulling you towards him, his grip firm as the heat of his body began to expand to yours.

rafe wasn’t stupid, he noticed after a short time your continuous eyes on his biceps, how you somehow tried to always have a hand on them and how you wanted rafe’s arms always around you. he was always ready to tease you about it, you would laugh everytime trying to hide your flushes.

obviously this obsession of yours grows when we talk about sex. having him chocking you while pounding into you, watching at the way his biceps flexed made you clench around his length, or when his fingers were buried inside your tight hole, you would force yourself to keep your eyes open even though all you wanted to do was to throw you head back just to watch the way his arm was contracting at the speed he was using and his veins on full display.

one day he proposed you something that left you in disbelief, not like you have never thought about something like that before but hearing him say it to you was totally different. you had stopped from grinding onto his bulge, looking at him with wide eyes while he just looked at you with his usual cocky smirk, your pussy clenching around nothing just at the idea.

“you’re just so obsessed princess, bet you wouldn’t mind riding it instead of grinding on my dick, would you?” he had proposed to you, his gaze fell down indicating what he was referring to, your hand tight around his biceps. you stared at him for what seemed like hours not knowing what to answer, suddenly you felt like you wanted to disappear. “don’t get shy on me now baby, use your words mhm?” he incited you, his hand moved from your hip to rest on your cheek, slowly rubbing his thumb on the soft skin as you rested your head on it, enjoying his warm touch.

“yeah… i would- i would love that” you answered, you didn’t even know where you had found the courage to accept something so dirty but that you wanted at the same time so much. rafe’s grin widened even more noticing the shyness in your voice, he could feel that you were insecure about it, he was quick to put his lips on yours in a small kiss. “don’t worry baby I got you, just use me like you prefer” he whispered to you a few centimeters from your lips, you bit your lip hearing such words, your most perverse dream was coming true.

“uhh f-fuuck… rafeee” you gasped moving your hips quickly, your head thrown back while you fully enjoyed the pleasure of your clit in contact with his contracted muscle, your moisture scattered all over the area, sliding along the elbow. “I know baby I’m here, keep going” he incited you, he looked at you from below with eyes full of lust groping his cock in the pants, a mess of his own pre cum in his boxer while enjoying the scene of his pretty girl rubbing herself on his biceps.

“i’m gonna- gonna..” your voice broken as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to reaching the peak, your legs began to hurt and your movements slowed down, you felt tears forming at the corners of your eyes worried that you wouldn’t be able to reach your orgasm but rafe was right there, and without you being able to say anything else he put a hand on the back of your thigh, pushing you to continue rubbing yourself on his biceps.

“there you go baby… make a mess all over me”. In no time you reached your orgasm, an almost pornographic moan came out of your lips as your movements stopped abruptly, your cum began to drip on his skin. slimy sounds filled the room while rafe helped you ride your orgasm with some other small push, before you fell in the place next to him, your legs tingled from the effort you had subjected them to.

“that’s it princess, was it good?” he asked you observing your fucked-out expression then moving his gaze to his arm, completely covered with your wetness.

“the best fucking thing ever.”

[phantomrose96]

So my mom's birthday was this week and I flew down with Patches to visit her for a few days. Patches, while a verified hater of the airport, really loves my mom's place because there are so many more closets to explore and birds to watch and cobwebs to dust with her stupid little face.

My mom also goes to bed earlier than anyone I know, so for the evenings it was on me to monitor Patches' activity. And she's very good. She's 99% good. She's 1% "could use improvement" good and the 1%, which I'd forgotten about, is tomatoes.

Patches will leave most things alone. (And by "alone" I mean she'll absolutely bitch slap them onto the floor, but they will leave the ordeal with just as many or few surface punctures as they had before the encounter started.) Not tomatoes. Patches has it the fuck out for tomatoes.

So when I noticed her batting something around on the ground I realized that my mom had left a sole, roma tomato in the fruit basket on the counter and it was now experiencing the life cycle of a pingpong ball between Patches' paws.

I take it away from her, like a fucking evil woman, and now I'm like "okay actually, where do I hide this." See at home I have an anti-Patches cabinet, which is for things that have no business living in a cabinet but which WILL have business dying at Patches' hands if left accessible. And this is WEIRD to have such a cabinet but it's my own home.

I'm scanning my mother's cabinets going "is this weird here? can the tomato go in my mother's dish cabinet?" And I briefly consider sticking it in the fridge, as a normal location, but the audacity of altering this tomato's ripening process is an audacity I do not possess. So I go with cabinet. I go with the first eye-level cabinet, which is the coffee mug cabinet, which is perfect because the tomato will not be lost to cabinet purgatory there, since my mom opens it every morning for her coffee. I will simply tell her in the morning that the tomato is there.

Next morning. Seeing as my mother goes to bed at the butt-crack of dusk she ALSO gets up at the ass-crack of dawn. This means I trail down like 2 hours after her with my work laptop and Patches. This is also now her birthday. I'm sharing the sofa with her for a good 15 minutes when I think to myself I'd like some coffee, and I remember I put a tomato in the cabinet. I tell my mom as much. I put the tomato in her coffee mug cabinet.

And the look I get is one I can't really figure out on spot. But she says "Chrissy this is the best birthday present you could have given me" which is a very weird response to the already weird statement "Oh you probably saw, but I hid the tomato in the coffee mug cabinet because Patches has it out for tomatoes."

So I do not at all know how this makes for a good birthday gift. My mom tells me how a week or two ago, she came home unloading groceries. At the end of putting everything away she could not for the life of her find her phone. Absolutely nowhere. She pinged it from her iPad and it started singing. From the fridge. She opened her fridge. Her phone was in the fridge.

A couple days later she lost Ash's collar. Spent three days looking for it. Couldn't remember where she'd taken it off or what she did with it. Showed up in the grass when she remembered she took it off to let him play fetch in the lake.

And then this morning, her birthday morning, she came into the kitchen, made her pot of coffee, opened the cabinet to fetch her coffee mug, and found... tomato. Singular. Tomato in the cabinet. Tomato she had no memory of placing in a cabinet. Tomato she could not possibly fathom having a reason for being in the cabinet.

She was like Chrissy I cried. She was like this is it, time to send her to pasture. She's a harebrained old lady now and there is no coming back from this. She's the lady who accidentally puts tomatoes in the cabinet. Awake before God, standing in the kitchen, signing her life away over this tiny roma tomato. (Roma tomato with little cat vampire teeth marks in it).

I was like oh. No. I put it there. Because Patches was going to commit war crimes against it. I put it there because I did not stop to consider "Will finding a single tomato in the coffee mug cabinet somehow be the very specific thing that undoes my mother this morning?" I put it there out of careful consideration for the life of this tomato, and with no consideration for the extremely esoteric way that a tomato in the cabinet could be received like a horse head in the bed, Godfather style.

We made a salad with the tomato. Happy birthday Mom.

[mecachrome]

notes from nicole piastri's interview on red flags pod

oscar started playing monopoly and chess when he was 4-5 but he was too good at chess (relative to nicole) that she boycotted it

nicole opened her twitter account because oscar wasn't replying to her at boarding school and she needed a place to chastise him ("can you not answer... i KNOW you're on your phone") (it worked because he started replying to her there)

instead of unflappable she calls him "conservative"

even during christmas and birthdays he was never super excited, one time they went with a group of 5 mums and 5 kids to a hi-5 concert (popular australian kids' musical group) and while all the kids were "going nuts" oscar just sat there "focused the whole time" and didn't smile or move lmfao. they were like 3 years old

didn't know what she was doing with oscar as a baby because he was her first child and her mothers' group was her only reference and they went "isn't the best part of the day when you wake up and go to their crib and they smile at you?" and she was like ??? because oscar would wake up and just SCREAM every single day needing to be out of there immediately and she thought that was just normal... then she had the girls and went "ahhhh... so that's what they're talking about"

when he was younger than 2 he needed them to read car magazines to him and was already obsessed with all things automotive and while they were driving would just name off and point out car brands by their badges

for a long period of time he behaved like he was a car and would "spin" his wheels and pretend to accelerate and run like a car lol

did a big burnout the first time he was on a bike (it had training wheels but he still learned very early)

as a mum she wishes he'd chosen golf or tennis since it's much safer than f1 and sometimes people tell her that she technically had a say in that when he was a kid and she said "but i didn't! it was just in him!!!"

won an academic award when he was 13 and she was president of the parents' community so she presented it to him, normally these events are super formal and you simply shake hands but she gave him a big kiss and instead of acting embarrassed or spluttering he looked at the crowd, nodded silently, and walked off

came back for the summer a few years ago and they were biking on the beach together when she had to brake hard to avoid a kid and went over, when she recovered and got back on he went "are you all right?" very deadpan but after they got home they checked his heart rate monitor and saw that he was totally steady the whole time except for when she crashed and his heart rate went through the roof, told him "ah so you do have a heart... we just don't see it"

"there's no sibling that can piss him off?" "well he's a boy with three girls so he just doesn't go there because he's never going to win"

met lily in person for the first time when he came home for the melbourne grand prix (was still alpine reserve), at midnight oscar was like "hey mum you know the dts film crew are coming tomorrow morning right?" and she was like WHAT... and he was like yeah it'll be chill they just want to film us having breakfast like a normal family or whatever and she was like Mate you haven't lived here for 5 years now do you know what breakfast looks like. it looks like your sisters storming downstairs and grabbing an inappropriate breakfast and storming out the door giving me the finger!!! and then the next morning lily comes down and nicole is like "oh is oscar up?" and lily is like no... i think he's still in bed... (many such cases) and then mae refused to be in it so she got dressed and ran off to school 2 hours early to escape them. and then the mclaren fiasco happened and the whole thing got cut out of dts anyway

when she said "oh my god you met matt damon!" he was just like (shrugs) "yeah... yeah..."

they communicate by facetiming and he's Always lying in bed. one time in bahrain he was leaning back on an ornate tapestry and she asked what hotel he was staying at and he was like oh i'm at the royal palace i'm like a guest of the crown prince. she freaked out and was like "oh my god!!! get your head off the tapestry!!!" and he just looked back like ? no it's fine it looks pretty old lol

called her to tell her that he signed his f1 contract and when he said mclaren she Realized and was like oh no i love daniel!! and he straight up deadpanned "yeah everyone loves daniel. that's going to be a problem..." and said verbatim "of all the f1 drivers ever daniel is the worst one to be replacing"

one time in f4 chris couldn't go to a race and billy monger had just had his crash so she flew to the uk for the weekend to support him and when she was driving him back to boarding school she was happy because she had 2 hours to spend with him and she wasn't sure when she'd see him again but instead he slept the whole way through and the moment they got back to school he went "ahhhh... home sweet home" and she wanted to slap him lmfao

first day of primary school when he was 5 years old he said he didn't need her to walk him to school and she was like "well i actually do mate" so he forced her to walk behind him the whole way and the moment they got there he turned to her and went "all right i'm here you can go now" 😭

the chinese & italian & yugoslavian is on chris's side of the family while nicole's is scottish & irish ("that's where the pasty skin comes from")

red flags pod sent her a shirt with oscar's face composed of His Tweet and she showed it to him and he immediately said he wanted it

he gave her a small warning before he posted the tweet but it was just like "mum so this is going to happen just don't worry about it. it's all under control. it'll be fine" and was very calm the whole time

"we just had to trust that his personality would come through at some point, because the way he came across was not at all what he's like. people will work out who the real you is so just continue to do what you do" 🥺

all of the kids were obsessed with Cars (2006)

likes his mum's golden syrup dumplings and grandmother's rumballs

AT THE SINGAPORE GP IN 2023 HATTIE DISAPPEARED FOR HOURS TO GO SEE A K-POP CONCERT 😭😭😭😭 i think it was p1h lmfao (nicole was asked for her favorite group and went "i have no idea. five boys") ((it's txt)) meanwhile oscar is only into house music and she thinks everything he plays is the same song

did pilates when he went home but never with her and thinks it's a lot harder than it looks

takes him minimum 24 hours to respond to anything she sends

she had an exact conversation with oscar where she asked who he wanted to be teammates with and he said "well if i go up against lando i don't even have to get close the first year because everyone knows how good he is" 😭

oscar you are so you 🧡