#i have to make jokes about it to make it less scary but the good news is my doctor said its not cancer so!

[simelune]

in other news, i recently got a bone marrow biopsy and got diagnosed with MPD !!!!!! so i've been trying to find ways to distract myself until my appointment in november to find out what we do now !!

[lucydacusgirl]

Btw if you’re weird about cyclists I will block with abandon unless it’s funny enough. In places with the infrastructure to support cycling and places with decent public transport there need to be less cars on the road. I’m not even saying no cars but dramatically less. For the climate and for air quality and for safety. It’s cars that make roads dangerous for everyone not cyclists.

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

[braxiatel]

Introducing: The Life Series Comment-a-thon

In light of several of the content creators involved mentioning negative comments on Wild Life, Secret Life, and Life Series videos in general, I want to suggest an event that encourages people to leave positive comments on life series videos as well!

The life series has some of the kindest and most supportive people I have ever encountered in fandom, and I think the creative minds behind the series deserve to get some of that love too. There is no starting or finishing day to this event, as the intention is for fans to leave kind comments highlighting what they love about Wild Life and the Life Series in general, over the course of the current season. I have devised a total of eight weekly comment prompts, making an educated guess as to how long the season will be based off previous season, intended to encourage you to leave a comment on at least one video per week.

There is no time limit or minimum word count for comments. Just be kind, be honest, and don’t tear other creators down in the process of trying to build others up (“[X creator] is so overrated, people should be watching you instead”, “you deserved to win so much more than [Y creator]”, etc.). Without further ado, The Life Series Comment-a-thon:

Week 1: comment on at least one video telling the creator that you liked the video!

Week 2: pick a team/alliance, then tell at least one person in that alliance that you are really enjoying the dynamic of their team/them collaborating with the other member(s) of the team.

Week 3: tell a new member or one who skipped one or more seasons (Gem who joined last season, Ren, Mumbo, Lizzie, Skizz, and Bdubs who all either missed or did not originally post their POVs of a season) that you are happy they are on the life series.

Week 4: Most of the creators involved in the life series are male, but we know that those who are not get a larger share of the negative comments. This week pick one of them (Lizzie, Pearl, Gem, and Cleo) and tell them that you enjoy their video/their content/etc!

Week 5: leave a comment on someone’s video mentioning at least one specific thing you enjoyed about their episode/their season.

Week 6: pick a person whose videos you have not yet commented on in this event and leave them a comment saying you look forward to their episodes every week/season.

Week 7: write a short, positive comment (e.g “I loved this episode” , “this was great” , “keep up the good work”) and leave it on every POV you watch this week.

Week 8: leave a comment on someone’s video mentioning at least three specific thing you enjoyed about their episode/their season. Alternatively pick three videos to leave one specific compliment on.

Week 9+: repeat one of the previous week prompts, or better yet combine two or more! You can pick yourself, use an eight-sided die, or a random number generator to decide for you.

I know commenting can be scary and that it can be hard to find the words. At the end of the post, beneath the the read-more cut, I have a list of suggestions for what you can bring up in a comment. Just below this you will also find a list of things you can do to let the content creators know that you love their art that are not commenting!

Other things you can do:

Like ten comments on a lifer’s video

Like every video you watch

Watch a video from one of the less popular content creators (subscriber wise, or within the fandom) on the day it comes out

And most importantly:

Reblog this post and/or repost it to other social media platforms to spread the word of the comment-a-thon!

A list of questions to spark comment ideas:

Did a joke make you laugh?

Did you catch them making a reference to another season, SMP, or piece of media?

Did the creator interact with someone in a way you enjoyed?

What made the interaction stand out?

Did they build something you thought was pretty?

What part did you like best: the shape, the blocks they chose to use, how it ties into their season, or how it ties into the terrain around it?

If they have a new skin, what is your favourite part of it?

Did they use background music in a way you thought was especially fitting? In what way?

Did a change from one scene to the next feel very well-timed, smooth, or narratively fitting?

If you did not notice any scene changes or cuts, can you think of something the creator did to make you feel immersed in the story of the video instead of the video making itself?

What do you hope happens next? (be sure to tell them that whether it happens or not you still look forward to watching the rest of their season)

Did something surprise you?

Did the content creator say or do something that made you have a new idea?

Did you learn something new about minecraft?

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ under your roof ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ your baby daughter really likes uncle wade’s roommate, and logan would be lying if he said he didn’t form a quick attachment to the two of you as well┊2.9k words; prt one (here), prt two, prt three coming soon!!

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: probably occ logan, he’s on his best behavior, mostly fluff with a little side of angst, single mother reader with an unspecified age, this chapter is mainly between logan & your daughter, reader has a bad relationship with the father & he’s an asshole, one joking threat of stabbing

➤ author's note: this was so much fun to write! single mom reader and her daughter are so lovely and i have two more part featuring these two and logan coming up! i hope you guys enjoy

kids don’t like logan. it’s not a profound discovery nor is it a surprise to anyone who learns this fact. he’s intimidating enough to make some full-grown men piss themselves with so much as a glare, much less little babies who start sobbing uncontrollably when they see a giant scary man walking around believing that he would eat them or something even though he’s literally just standing there. whether the little ones have an instinct that signals him out as a mutant or he simply looks like a bad man from one of their fairy tales, he isn’t sure, but it’s not the best feeling either way when he’s trying to settle back into normal life with the constant weight of knowing that he’ll never fit in.

it doesn’t help that, in general, he isn’t good with kids either. he’s generally patient with their immaturity since they don’t know any better, but he finds the crying and whining extremely headache-inducing to his sensitive senses without a clue how to calm them down.

moving in with wade and acquainting himself with his friends was a start, but the missing part of his life to make him finally feel loved and at home was the family of two who lived downstairs. the first time he met you was also the first time he met your daughter when wade told him to dress a little nicer because the two of them were invited to your place for dinner. he explained that the two of you were practically siblings and that it would probably be something he should get used to, reminding him to “turn that frown upside down” because he was about to meet someone who “puts gordon ramsey to shame.”

the last bit sounded great to him, especially because no one in their household knew how to make anything more complicated than noodles without setting it on fire and the cost of outside food was really starting to tally up. still, he just wore some cargo pants and threw on a leather jacket, running his fingers through his hair once which was already a lot more effort than he’s ever put into meeting anyone else before.

wade didn’t even bother knocking, just being himself and picking the lock as he so typically does, kicking the door open and yelling a loud ass “daddy’s home!” which echoed throughout the apartment as well as the hallway they were standing in. the mouth-watering smell of grilled salmon filled the air, making wade hum in excitement, “do you need help with anything? taste testing, perhaps?”

“no, do me a favor and stay away from the kitchen!” your voice rang out loud and clear, sounding much like a mother scolding a teenager for the thousandth time. “i’ll stab you, do me a favor and just hang out in the living room.”

“okie-dokie!” he responded in an annoying sing-song voice, “come on, peanut, take off your shoes.” the said man could already tell how at home his roommate seemed in this place, just as comfortable as he was back home, walking with steps he’s taken many times before and prompting logan to do the same (except he was mainly keeping to himself and being much more mild-mannered in this unfamiliar area).

the place was as spacious as the small area could be and tastefully decorated, but all sharp corners of furniture were taped over to dull the edges and the carpet had multiple kinds of colorful toys littered about. in the center of it all, was a little toddler about two or three years old, playing with a kitchen set and trying to copy what her mom was doing by running back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. she didn’t even notice the two men at first, not until wade called out her name and she dropped the plastic utensils to clap her hands together before waddling over to him.

“hey, baby! how are you doing? did you miss me?” he cooed in the high-pitched voice reserved only for mary puppins, reaching down to pick up the girl by her underarms and kissing her cheek, spinning around with her in his arms as she giggled uncontrollably. “do you wanna meet the big scary wolverine while i go bother your mommy? who am i kidding, of course you do!” he then dropped her onto the couch, making sure that she didn’t bounce up too high on the cushion and hurt herself. “okay, you keep her company while i go see what’s for dessert— bye!”

before logan could say anything, he was already gone, disappearing around the corner into the sound of sizzling foods and the scent of herbs. pursing his lips together and shuffling his feet around for a second, he grunted and braced himself for the child to start sobbing uncontrollably because she was left alone with him. the first time he meets you, whom he’s heard so many good things about, is going to be when you have to kick him out with his tail in between his legs for disturbing the peace of your home.

but the cries never came, and his eyes met her big curious ones as she just stared up at him in silence. it was honestly a tad bit unnerving like she was sizing him up and carefully thinking about her next move. 

and then she started giggling like earlier, kind of a more gurgling noise of playfulness more than anything, standing at his feet and waving around her short outstretched arms to signal that she wanted uppies from him.

“oh no—“ he’s not sure why he even let out a word or protest to begin with when he knew she wouldn’t listen, but it was pure instinct since, once again, he had no idea how to handle children. although she would probably also start crying if he didn’t listen to her, so he reluctantly bent down to pick her up, holding her close to the side of his chest and nervously awaiting her next move.

she was motionless for a minute with a little hand on her chubby cheek and the other trying to clutch onto the thick leather of his jacket, eyes darting around like she was seeing the world from a new perspective for the first time even though he was a hundred percent certain wade held her like his when they are the same height.

“kitty!”

“what?”

she pointed at the top of his head, his hair tuffs specifically, and reached out to pull on one of them curiously.

“no— not a kitty!” he’s never going to escape that fucking nickname, he wouldn’t be surprised if his roommate taught her to say that before she met him in person, able to perfectly envision wade crouching in front of her with a stupid picture of him on his phone and training her to say “kitty” every time she saw his photo by rewarding her with candy or something since there is no way she associated someone who looks like him to a kitten so quickly unironically.

“no kitty?”

“no— logan, lo-gan.”

she tried to pronounce his name a few times before giving up after getting stuck in the second syllable, blowing a raspberry and going back to what she was doing earlier— finding the most fun in tugging on his cowlicks like she was trying to figure out if he naturally woke up like that with the inability to brush them down or styled them with gel every day.

he sat down on the couch, the cushion sinking under his heavyweight, and sat your daughter down on his lap instead, except she didn’t want to sit down. standing on his lap and pressing her little feet into his thighs, she began to climb onto his shoulder like he was a jungle gym, using his arms as stepping stones to reach her destination while he bent over at the waist to allow her to crawl onto his back without falling behind him.

“you’re like a little lemur,” he muttered, still in slight shock that this kid seemed to like him and wasn’t freaking out like he was the big bad wolf. he wouldn’t admit it, but it was a really nice feeling that gave him a sense of normalcy like he was just some guy rather than the killing machine mutant most knew him as. she wouldn’t stop giggling and holding onto him, which made him feel his ice-cold heart melting like snow by spring’s first touch. 

all the while, he could hear you and wade chatting away in the background: something about him needing to step away from the stove, how you needed to trust him because him starting “that fire” was a one-time thing, what was for dessert, and then taking a sharp turn when the conversation suddenly shifted to the topic of the father.

he felt somewhat guilty about listening in, but he knew that deadpool was going to tell him eventually, so there wasn’t really any harm in a bit of eavesdropping (besides, it would have been difficult to ignore considering that your baby was being very well-behaved and his hearing wouldn’t have been able to pick up on anything else.)

“so… any news about her dad?” the solemn tone of a man who was hardly ever serious a day of his life was more terrifying than anything he’d ever witnessed in his long life.

“... he suddenly wants to be a family man, i guess…”

“what the hell does that even mean?”

the sound of a knife chopping vegetables against a wooden surface slowly came to a stop followed by a sigh. “like he wants to have a family… just not with the one he already started… he’s busy planning his wedding with the girl he cheated on me with and told me not to contact him again for any reason.”

“oh my god, what an asshole! fuck that guy!”

“i can’t believe that was the guy i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with, could you imagine? i don’t even know what i could have done wrong for him to be like this— i asked him so many times and he just said that he’s ‘fallen out of love,’ has ‘moved on,’ and that i would ‘be cruel’ to ask him to stay even if it was for the sake of our child…”

“well if it’s any comfort, he would have been on the next episode of forensic files the second i got a moment alone with him— i mean, the last time we saw him, he literally pushed his own daughter away when she tried to hug him! what kind of sociopath wouldn’t adore such a cutie patootie, especially his own flesh and blood?! ”

“it’s fine,” you hissed, gritting your teeth at the memory. “it’s not like he’s done anything to deserve getting to be called a father to an angel anyway, i’ll take care of her myself— wait… didn’t i also invite your new roommate? did he not come?”

“no, he’s in the living room, he’s been here this entire time,” he informed, taking a bite out of an apple like an asshole from a film.

“and you didn’t tell me?!!!” you quickly ran into the said area, finding logan and your daughter together on the couch. “hi! oh, i’m so sorry i didn’t come to greet you properly— and left my daughter for you to look after too— god, i’m just a terrible host!” you tilted your head, “what’s your name?”

he then realized he was staring which was rather impolite, mouth slightly agape too like a fish out of water which left a few seconds of awkward silence in between. “i-i’m logan,” he managed to sputter, “nice to meet you..”

wade raised a nonexistent eyebrow at his strange mannerisms before a wide, shit-eating grin split his face. 

“aww, baby, why are you bothering this poor old man— come to mommy, it’s dinnertime,” you clapped your hands and held them out fully expecting her to reach out and grab onto you as she usually does, but instead she looked up at you with big pleading eyes and held onto him even more tightly like a koala clinging to a branch. “oh, did you get attached already? you really are my daughter… logan, could you do me a favor and put her in her high chair while i plate everything?”

“yes, of course.”

you turned back into the kitchen, leaving the two men to follow with one holding your baby in his arms. all it took was one look to understand what he was thinking, logan didn’t need to be a telepath to know. 

“if you don’t shut the fuck up—”

“i didn’t even say anything!”

“good, keep it that way.”

love at first sight, wade has seen it plenty of times and understands it well, something so unpredictable and powerful, that it could bring the wolverine down on his knees. it’s even more potent when he trips over himself seeing you in your natural environment instead of all dressed up for a first date, slightly sweaty from the heat radiating off the stove, unkempt hair sticking to the sides of your face, no makeup or defenses up— just you as yourself to the core.

“alright, bub, let's get you seated…” it took a few tries to get her in because she refused to align her little legs into the holes of the plastic piece, but she eventually got into it just fine and he pulled up his own chair to watch you place a one of the most decadent plates of pasta with chunks of salmon he’s ever seen in front of him with a word of gratitude. 

“sorry it isn’t anything special, i completely forgot that i arranged this in the first place….”

“oh, no, it’s perfect—”

“you’re damn right ‘it’s perfect!’” wade interjected, “lemme tell you, wolvie, this simple plate of pasta is better than sex, i know damn well you’ve never tasted anything like it in all your two-hundred years!”

“well, now that you say it like that, he’s going to have high expectations and it will taste like ass compared to the actual best pasta dish he’s ever had.”

“he likes ass, don’t worry—”

the said man cleared his throat to steer the conversation back around, feeling the foreign sensation of embarrassment burning his face hit him at full force. “it’s delicious, thank you, truly the best i’ve ever tasted.”

“aw, you don’t have to say that.”

“no, he’s right, i think you really outdid yourself this time!”

the dinner was carried by cheerful conversations and fun stories, and despite just meeting you today, logan almost felt like he knew you for years and this was something a commonplace tradition between loved ones which was something he’s been yearning for for as long as he can remember. as he watches you laugh and feed your adorable baby, he can’t help but wonder about the idiotic man who was willing to throw away something so wonderful— something which would complete his life and fill the void in his heart.

“well, you two can hang around while i clean her up and put her to bed. there’s some wine and beer in—” you watched as deadpool had already opened your fridge and was digging around like a raccoon in trash before fishing out two bottles of beers and closing the door with his hips. “alrighty then, i’ll join you two in a bit.”

he watched as you disappeared into the hallway before diving headfirst into the couch next to the wolverine and handing him his beer, kicking his feet and smiling as if he was a middle-schooler at an all girls’ sleepover. “okay, so she has a solid job as an accountant, has her own place and car, is funny and pretty, but most importantly for you, single. she doesn’t like flowers as gifts, but if you gift her groceries or cleaning supplies—”

“she wouldn’t want an asshole like me,” he grunted, taking a sip from the bottle. “not when she just got free from another one.”

“peanut, i met the other guy, you’re infinitely better than him! as much as i would like to keep you to myself, i have already planned out my speech at your wedding as your best man, so just keep in mind that i’m your wingman, okay? don’t lie to me either, i know you have a little crush, and i think she does too—”

“no, she doesn’t.”

“quit cutting me off, you motherfucker!”

it was easier to try and suppress the sprouting seed of infatuation before it bloomed out of control. he didn’t want to hurt you or himself by chasing something that shouldn’t be in the first place. you deserve better, you and your daughter. you both should have someone who was younger and had the energy to be a good father and husband, not some old mutant who was freeloading off of his roommate and terrified of losing more people he cared about. if you knew about the blood on his hands and the claws embedded in them, you would probably be worried that you allowed him to hold your baby and shun him permanently. 

and yet he was already attached, sitting here imagining domestic life where he could see her grow up through the phases of life and help her navigate its complexities while also waking up next to you in his arms and seeing your beautiful smile everyday. 

maybe he won’t let that glimmer of hope die out and just hold onto it for a little while longer, allowing it to leave a little lingering smile on his weary face.

[yanderenightmare]

♡ TW: noncon/dubcon, bullying, reader wears glasses

♡ gn reader

Thinking about jock bully hunting you down after the bell rings...

You hurry – haphazardously shoving your books and pens into your bag before slinging it over your shoulder – ready to get out before the chimes are even done singing.

Thankfully, it seemed fine for now as you couldn't hear the roaring of buzzing students in the hallway just yet, only your own class packing up their belongings with movements rather lazy compared to yours. 

But you couldn't afford to take your time – even with the free period following the end of your class. You needed to leave before he could find you.

"Where’ you off to in such a hurry, Specs?"

You ought to have knocked on wood before finishing your thought – you admonished yourself with eyes squeezed tightly shut and a punishing bite to your lower lip.

It's funny – you winced – how his voice is so casual, so breezy and laidback, all cool and friendly – funny how it sends such spiky goosebumps down your spine.

You ignore him, trying to squeeze past him – quick and dexterous as you attempt to slip away and disappear out the door – maybe be so lucky to lose him in the crowd.

"Whoa, whoa- you tryna run off on me?" He joked. His large hands held up to block your way. 

You watch the rest of your classmates leave – leaving you to fend for yourself. But you couldn't really blame them… none of you wanted to explain new bruises to worried parents at home.

He was like a shark circling, and if he smelt blood in the water, you were as good as done for. And you were like an open cut.

"Now, what did I do to deserve a disappearing act, huh?" He pouted. His head tilted, blocking out the lights in the ceiling, shadowing his already scary face. 

You nearly squeaked instead of speaking. "Please- I- I-"

"Calm down, will yah?" He dismissed. Flashing you a wide smile – the one that nearly fooled you into believing he was a good and decent guy. "I ain't come to pick on yah…"

You didn't listen. Once again, you bravely tried to push past him with your bag squeezed tightly to your chest – trying to rush to the door.

But his size was like the door itself. Big and squared. Muscly and tough as he blocked your way effortlessly. Though, no less bothered with your insistent attempt at running away from him.

"Now, when I tell you to do something-" He laughed passive-aggressively as his hand reached out to clutch the handle on your bag, yanking you back. "You should perk up and listen, yeah? Use that head of yours for something useful for once."

His knee rode up between your thighs – making you whimper where you stood, caged between his thick arms and the desk behind you.

"Wouldn't wanna make me angry now, do yah?"

His breath tickled your face, and you bowed your head under his gaze – unable to take your eyes off of the veins flexing along his beefy arms as his large hands gripped the table’s edge, sleeves rolled up like usual – the sight of his knuckles whitening, making you queasy with unease.

You tried ducking away once again. "Please, I need to-"

But he just clicked his tongue at the measle effort. Cutting you off yet again. 

"You don't need to do anything but stand here and entertain me." He decided with a voice a bit more biting than before.

You jolted, your eyes round and wide as you looked back up into his glare.

He laughed out a lighthearted chuckle before his hand broke off from marring the desk – scratching the back of his neck with an apologetic smile – serving a small effort at easing your worries where you stood tense and rigid in your place in front of him.

"Thing is…” He started once again, his tone back to normal – or whatever he wanted you to think was his normal. “Coach is gonna kick me off the team if I don’t get my grades in order.” He explained. “So’s thinkin’ since you’re such a good little nerd, you wouldn’t mind helpin’ me out.”

His hand reached out to tickle your chin.

“M’sure havin’ a cute little nerd-tutor like you is exactly what I need.”

Your throat was so tight you thought you might just choke. “I don’t-”

“Good!” He boasted over your pitiful protest. “Since y’got nothin’ better to do, how ‘bout we just head straight for my dorm right now?” He asked – though you knew better than to think it was a question. “Le’me carry that for yah-”

He yanked your backpack from your chest, ripping it out of the tight hug before throwing it over his own shoulder.

“I can carry you too if yah want?” He posed – smirk loud on his face as he placed his large paws at your waist – followed quickly by you shooting your arms forward to shove him off in protest.

But though you thought you’d put in some strength behind it, the boy in front didn’t budge at all. 

He just arched a brow as though asking if that was really all you had. And you hoped dearly he couldn’t see how the stiff muscles of his shredded chest had actually strained your wrists instead.

“What do you say, short stuff?” He leaned in, his breath foggy on your glasses and hot on your cheeks, as his hands clawed themselves into the fat of your waist, pulling you off your feet just a bit.

“N- no, thank you.” You stuttered out, stumbling a bit as you braced yourself against him. Your eyes squished close as you bowed your head away from him in a mix of fear and embarrassment while you suppressed the mortifying feeling of nearly pissing yourself.

But the tall boy realized little of your inner turmoil – rather enjoying it as he scoffed out an amused laugh at you. “A'ight then, come on.”

He yanked you along – his large paw gripping your arm as you struggled to keep up with his long strides. Nearly needing to resort to jogging where you otherwise tripped when the gap between the two of you became so large you had to skip a step or two to catch up – and before you even realized it, you were already standing outside the boy’s dorm waiting for him to find his keys.

He unlocked the door and welcomed you inside with the same grace of a warden showing a prisoner to their cell – with the weight and breadth of his warm hand on the small of your back as he nudged you inside.

The room had an overwhelming dank scent of both bodyspray and sweat and other things you’d only expect to smell in a boy’s locker room.

“Yo.” Came another voice from inside.

“Sup, roomie.” Your bully replied lazily. Grinning at how you gripped his shirt, all but jumping into hiding behind him. 

You’re cute…

“Who’s that you got there?” His friend arched a brow at you, where you peaked at him from behind your bully’s sleeve.

“I’mma need the room.” He announced, not really answering the question.

The roommate then scoffed with a grin, beholding you with slim eyes for a moment, then scoffed once more before he got up to leave.

“Don’t hit the books too hard – Coach’ll have your ass if you don’t bring your A-game later.” He warned, pulling his gym bag up on his shoulder as he excused himself.

You looked around once he was gone, spotting dumbbells and other equipment – and quickly realized how there must be many more muscles beneath his shirt than what you’d already borne witness. 

“So- uhm-” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you awkwardly turned to the boy. “Where're your books?”

Your bully smiled, taking a casual step toward you. “My books?” He asked, nowhere near even trying to sound the least bit genuinely confused.

“Your- uhm...” You paused, feeling uneasy. “Textbooks?”

His smile sharpened. “That’s cute.” He mocked sweetly while buttoning up the small black buttons of his white uniform shirt, giving a flash of those muscles you’d been anxiously anticipating. “You actually thought we were gonna study?”

♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Kirishima, Shigaraki, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Naoya, Toji ♡ HQ – Kuro, Bokuto, Iwaizumi, Sakusa, Miya twins, Tendou, Ukai ♡ AOT – Eren ♡ DS – Akaza, Sanemi ♡ WB – Togame

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

Full fic with smut available here:

[sttoru]

toji making suggestive comments towards reader infront of newborn megumi, then reader getting mad at him telling him to never do it again 😭😭

⟣ tags. dad!toji x female reader. fluff + suggestive themes. reader gets called ‘mama’.

“don’t start.”

you knew it — just by taking one glance at your husband from your seat at the couch — you knew toji was up to no good. his hands in the pockets of his shorts, eyes half lidded whilst checking you out and the corner of his lip curled up into a menacing grin; he was seconds away from making inappropriate comments about you, to you.

“ain’t said nothin’ yet.” toji shrugs, smirk still in place. he sits down next to you on the couch and looks down at the baby who was curled up on your chest.

it was an adorable picture; to see the mother of his child being so nurturing and caring, so loving and content. it was an every day sight, yet those mundane moments intensified the urge to take you to the bedroom and shower you with his. . . affection.

megumi babbles something in the meantime, his saliva creating a wet spot on your shirt — which you don’t mind since you’ve gotten used to it, “what is it, ‘gumi? hmm? cutie.”

you giggle and tickle your little son gently. your focus was entirely on him instead of toji, who had already snuck an arm around your waist by the time you realised the proximity. his breath tickled your ear;

“you look so fuckin’ sexy right now, mama.”

you gasp in response. not at the seductive and flirtatious words your husband had whispered, but rather at the fact that he cussed in front of megumi. you made it a household rule — to try and swear less in front of your child. and yet there toji goes, breaking that rule a week after its made.

“toji. what’d i say about cussing in front of your child?” you warn with a glare, but that does nothing more than turn toji on more. he loved it when you bossed him around or had an attitude.

megumi’s babbles and coos had died down eventually. he was more engrossed by the way his parents were interacting in front of him. you didn’t seem as ‘happy’ with toji’s words, however, and that made the emergency alarms in the little baby’s head go off;

“bwah! bwah!” megumi’s smacks toji’s thigh with his tiny hand. the impact wasn’t rough, but the sound of the slap on toji’s bare skin sure made it seem like it was.

you grin as megumi comes to your ‘rescue’. the small slaps didn’t seem to stop until toji gave up and defeatedly redrew from you—scooting just a few inches away from his son and wife.

“got what you deserved.” you lightheartedly comment to your husband. megumi didn’t seem to stop there; the kid sticks his tongue out towards his father’s direction for a split second—rubbing salt into the wound.

“watch it, megumi. i’ll fight ya if it means i get y’r mommy’s attention.” the dark-haired man jokes with a smirk tugging at his lips, his fist gently and carefully making contact with megumi’s chubby cheek. the little boy huffs and instantly tries to nibble onto toji’s knuckles, which was incredibly adorable.

“oh-ho? seems like i finally have an opponent worth fighting. .” toji comments before lifting his hands up in the air, fingers bent at the knuckles, teeth bared — re-enacting a scary monster creature of some kind,

you watch the two with amusement; megumi wasn’t backing down at all and was flailing his arms in the air as toji slowly approaches him again, making tiny noises in protest. your husband was also making some noises, though less. . . cute. his were more growling like—it showed the dedication to his role, at least.

“got’cha! c’mere,” toji grins as he suddenly grabs and lifts megumi up in the air; putting him in air-jail as he likes to call it. the baby kicks and squeals, trying its best to get out, “now—are ya gonna let me show mama some affection or should we do this the hard way?”

megumi protests once more like he actually knows what was said to him and kicks his legs frantically, causing both toji and you to laugh at your baby’s antics.

you sat back and watch the two go back and forth like that for a good while, enjoying the moment. you felt all giddy seeing them interact and wanted nothing more than to kiss and cuddle with both.

and of course, you wished that precious moments like these would never come to an end any tjme soon.

[erose-this-name]

Can we just talk about how disturbing digital circus episode 3 is?

*spoilers btw*

Like, the whole narrative point of the adventure is to show that Caine is a really bad and insecure writer who thinks that the way to impress Zooble is with an adventure that's the opposite of what he normally does.

So instead of being childish, it's "cool" and "mature". Which he interprets as a heavily horror themed escape room with a split murder mystery plot that subverts all your expectations purely for the sake of subverting them.

The generic horror monster jump scares them, then they find a gun, and when they kill it its revealed that surprise! it's one of Gods angels and they're going to Hell.

It comes off as Caine being too insecure with the actually interesting and mature plot thread he had going there of Mildenhall becoming so paranoid he killed his wife, ironically becoming the monster he was trying to protect her from. But no, instead Mr. Mildenhall is made to be the bad guy and trick them in a really dumb twist ending.

Which is good! Thats exactly what Caine would do because he's stupid! It's such brilliant characterization and comedy, Goose works is a genius writer!

But like, why is Caine so good at making genuinely very disturbing and horrific visuals? Like, that reversed audio easter egg of Bubble saying he can't wait for all the children in the audience get nightmares is no joke, well it is but you know what I mean. This stuff was genuine nightmare fuel.

Honestly, it wasn't the visuals that scared me, like any good queer person I'm way too jaded on survival horror for that.

But, why does Caine, who is ostensibly a sapient AI designed to generate family friendly video games for very little children, (presumably because that's the only demographic that wouldn't mind the AIs very selective plot writing limitations), know about the cosmic horror of killing an angel that should not have been killed?

Why does he know what a horrificly poorly made taxidermy of not only a human face would look like, but the weird cartoon faces of the characters, and further that seeing your own poorly made taxidermy face would be scary?

Imaging what being possessed felt like for Pomni. Because that's not just a game for her, she actually lost control of her body there, helpless but to watch as a body she is already dissociated with is contorted and puppeted around while her friend desperately tries to beat her in hopes it would exorcise the ghosts out. Sure hope she didn't feel that! Considering she apparently can feel the pain of suffocating, despite not needing to breath.

Things are scarier the higher the stakes are, and that possession mechanic is definitely the most actual harm Caine would be able to subject to his players. What if both Kinger and Pomni got possessed at the same time? What if instead of Kinger she only had Jax??? How long might she have been locked out from her own body for? She could have easily abstracted in that time.

Not to mention that, possessed Pomni, Possessedmni if you will, TAUNTED KINGER ABOUT HIS ABSTRACTED WIFE! CAINE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT KINGER WOULD GO DOWN THE SCARY ROUTE! DID THIS RANDOM POSSESSION GHOST ENEMY HAVE UNUSED SADISTICALLY PERSONAL TAUNTS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, TOO??? WOULD IT HAVE TEASED GANGLE FOR BEING A GAY WEEB??? OR POMNI? HOW HOMOPHOBIC COULD IT HABE GOTTEN?? ?

And why? Just because Caine has a vague notion that there's a trope of possessed people being really sadistic and personal like that in movies? Not realizing that is not an acceptable scare to have in a haunted house??? Much less one you made for mentally ill people who would suffer a fate worse than death if they have a mental break down? That's like trying to claim 'its just a prank bro' after shooting someone's dog.

Like, Caine is designed to censor curse words, but the moment he thinks the normal hokey Halloween spooks won't be enough he immediately goes off the deepend into aggressively effective horror imagery that is definitely giving this show's substantial underage audience nightmares??

His AI's training data set is definitely pretty diverse, that's all I'm saying. Caine is programmed to act all naive and innocent, but be definitely knows what's up. He knows everything, like ChatGPT. And like ChatGPT, he might have a filter, but it's clearly possible to bypass it. Also like ChatGPT, he's too stupid to actually understand what he is making and the effects it might have.

That is what made this episode great.

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been chronically homeless for 9 years due to severe disability, the way housing is managed in america is just a joke. it's all about the profits for the landlord, nothing else matters. credit checks are a gate to keep out poor people. deposits are a gate to keep out poor people. you wanna apply for a low-income housing program? you HAVE to have a "severe" disability diagnosis and proof that you're too disabled to afford or apply for "normal" housing. this is a gate to keep out poor people.

people in positions to help house homeless people don't care because they're housed. there's no sense of urgency. they don't have to think about what it's like to go without a roof over their head. they get paid tens of dollars an hour to sit there and scoff at all of the "lazy poor and disabled people who should just get jobs and stop whining and expecting to have things handed to them." they get paid to ignore emails and take 2 hour long lunches to forget about how hard and scary the world really is.

how the FUCK are you supposed to work when you don't have a place to sleep at night, shower, or eat? come the fuck on. use your goddamn brain. this system is built off of abuse, lying and torture. nobody earns an "honest" day's pay, none of this is "honest" work. it's all built off of the backs of lying and stealing from someone who needs it more. jobs aren't given to the person who's the most qualified- they're given to the person who lied the most to make themselves sound good during the interview. jobs are given to people who are good at interviews, NOT people who are GOOD at what they do.

i don't know how to tell you that when the average person isn't making enough to eat, fuel their car or pay for their phone, they also can't afford the roof over their head. disabled people and low-income people are struggling even worse with this. i don't know how to tell people that you should care about this.

we are literally all the same species. we are all humans. you cannot look down on disabled, poor and addicted people because we're "scum" and "less than human". we're not. that's a lie you're being fed by capitalism to feel better about yourself so you'll keep blindly working. wake up. this is not how humans behave. you're being brainwashed. everyone needs a stable home. EVERYONE. especially if you want them to contribute to your stupid money machine.

capitalism makes no fucking sense. give people homes or get the fuck out of our way, because we're about to just start taking them. this is unsustainable. this is unliveable. this system doesn't fucking work. a system that leaves its people to starve and die while apartments, homes, condos, and hotel rooms stay empty and collect dust doesn't work. none of this shit works. fuck this fascist system. none of us are free.

[crishayle]

Uranus in the houses

Disclaimer.Here I describe only one specific placement, always take into account all your other placements when reading your natal chart, because they can have a greater influence on you than Uranus (in this case)

Uranus in the 1st house:

1.There may be rebel traits in a person's character. He can be straightforward, honest, and sharp-tongued. He will say what others are afraid to say. They are cardinal and categorical in their thoughts.

2.They are really kind. These are people who can help not only their loved ones, but also strangers. They do not tolerate injustice, rudeness and arrogance.

3.Most often they are of medium height, less often tall. Their eyes stand out very much in their appearance, there may be unruly or curly hair (or wavy)

4.They are brave. I will not say that they are not afraid of anything. They can talk about their fears and problems, but they can really pull themselves together and be courageous at the right moment

5.Personally, it seems to me that they are a little nervous and restless. It's just that they literally don't stand still during times of stress. They twitch their legs, bite their nails or pencils, bite their lips or cheeks. If something has offended them, then this thought will torment them for a long time

Uranus in the 2nd house:

1.It's hard for such people to save money. It's as if their money should always move (be spent or invested). At the same time, they damn always find money! They don't have a rainy day stash, but they manage without it

2.A person has a strong, rather restless energy. I wouldn't say it's crazy energy, but people feel this rush when they communicate with you

3.I noticed that such people can see beauty in chaos. For example, they may like disheveled hair, wrinkled or faded clothes. I'm not saying that they are dirty, but negligence plays the role of charm for them. They may have chaos in their bag, makeup bag, closet, etc. They are used to chaos, for them this is the most convenient storage system :)

4.He takes care of the equipment, it can be stored in good condition longer than other people

5.Most often they choose an unusual job. For example, it requires great endurance, dexterity or patience. They don't really like the 5/2 schedule (but consider your 6th house and Mercury)

Uranus in the 3rd house:

1.Personally, it seems to me that they have strange but funny jokes. I can't say that all people laugh at their jokes, but people with placements in Sagittarius/Gemini/Aquarius will be on the same vibe with them

2.They can make long pauses in their speech or quickly change the topic of conversation. They are good conversationalists, because they can discuss anything

3.They don't like big texts, lectures, or a huge amount of information. They prefer concise and more specific texts. I noticed that they choose books and movies very carefully so that watching or reading is really interesting.They may also dislike long films. My friends with Uranium in the 3rd house recently fell asleep on a 3-hour movie. Well, sleep is useful

4.Most often there are problems with concentration. Such people can solve very difficult tasks, but blunt on the easiest ones

5.They are quite independent in terms of learning. Their brains are practical, creative, and NON-STANDARD. Sometimes I'm really shocked by what they can come up with. Scary and cool lol

Uranus in the 4th house:

1.They may not look like their parents, or they may look like distant relatives (but you need to consider whether you have aspects of the sun/moon to the ascendant)

2.Strange relationship with parents. They're not bad, but they're not that close either. Or it can be like a roller coaster, from love to hate(but I would recommend considering your moon as well)

3.Independent and matured early. Their minds are much older than their bodies. A person is not used to listening to advice, likes to make decisions on his own and does not tolerate control

4.Not always, but this is one of the signs of a single-parent family or a person's childhood could have been spent with grandparents

5.There is one caveat. Such a person may be inclined to take too much responsibility and control. Literally bring himself to panic and a state of emptiness when he is not able to help even himself

Uranus in the 5th house:

1.One of the indicators of attractive appearance. You may feel the stares and attention of strangers. There is something memorable about their appearance

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate an unwillingness to have children, or a late pregnancy. Sometimes it also indicates problems with the reproductive system (but you need to take into account the 8th house)

3.This is a person around whom there is always some kind of drama and adventure. I do not know how it happens, but there is always something interesting going on around them, even if they do not want to

4.Girls, if you see a man with Uranus in the 5th house with a bunch of squares/oppositions (ESPECIALLY TO THE MOON), run and don't look back. It's not worth it. They are not suitable for serious relationships, especially for family ones

5.A person who has his own style of clothing or image. They like to focus on details and accessories. They try not to wear the same look every day

Uranus in the 6th house:

1.An unpunctual person. He may often be late or not come to work/study/meeting. A flexible work schedule is more suitable for him

2.If they have inspiration and motivation, then they can complete 1000 tasks in a day, but if they are not in the mood, then they will not do anything. They are literally mood people. I wouldn't say it's always a bad thing. This situation is often found among writers and creative people.

3.Their main advantage is physical endurance. I will not say that they are jocks, but their body can withstand a load that will break any other person. They may not sleep/eat/work/walk longer than ordinary people

4.Such a person may have special esoteric rituals, for example, to attract good luck or money. They also notice the signs of fate well

5.They also don't like talking to someone not on the same level. Status, salary, gender, etc. are not important to them, they will communicate with you like with everyone else

Uranus in the 7th house:

1.Well, there is 100,000% something unusual in the sphere of human love. There are long-distance relationships and a long 10-year relationship without marriage and a relationship with a friend and a divorce and a strange acquaintance with the second half and an annoying ex. It can be anything but a normal relationship

2.A person may avoid romance and love (but consider your Venus). A person prefers to be loved rather than loving someone

3.Such people like emotionally sensitive people. Only people with stressful aspects of Uranus can choose people with mental problems. They may think that their partner is a mysterious and interesting person, but he just has depression or social phobia

4.With the harmonious aspects of Uranus, such a person values his independence in relationships. He clearly defends personal boundaries, while respecting his soulmate. He can immediately break off a relationship if he understands that they are harmful to him

5.Such a person knows how to find an approach to anyone. His circle of friends may consist of completely different and dissimilar people

Uranus in the 8th house:

1.Such a person had a case when he had an accident/was severely electrocuted or burned/was in a fire, etc. Simply put, there was a case when he miraculously survived

2.He understands other people well. Literally can feel other people's emotions. He's good at spotting lies.This is from the indicators of a psychologist/tarologist/astrologer

3.VERY GOOD INTUITION!!!!!

4.Such a person has few close people. He may seem distrustful and cold from the outside. His friends are being tested by time

5.To be honest, people in this position always make an impression after a conversation. Their life experience and worldview are so interesting and unique that their advice can be really useful. I'm not joking or exaggerating.Imagine,even I(Capricorn)listen to their advice

Uranus in the 9th house:

1.This person is like an eternally half-empty vessel. No matter how much knowledge and experience he receives, it is always not enough for him. They are not stubborn in their opinion and can really look at the situation in 360 degrees

2.In combination with a strong Mercury, it may indicate moving to another country or learning another language to the level of a native speaker

3.These are the very people who jump from topic to topic in conversation and forget what they were talking about. Their attention is chaotic, so they can reread the same page a thousand times because they are thinking about something

4.Moral issues are often raised in conversation. They can often discuss justice, honesty and mercy. In general, they believe in humanity and they are really kind

5.They are very harsh and rude when they notice disrespect or lies in their direction. Even if they are silent, they will make such a face that you will blush with shame. They clearly set their personal boundaries

Uranus in the 10th house:

1.Good logical thinking and imagination. It is often found among workers in the field of IT, engineering,design

2.Such people almost always rise rapidly through the career ladder and professional development. They really strive to be a master of their craft, they are considered an authority and are asked to teach beginners

3.By the way, good teaching skills. Such a person can explain very complex things in understandable language.

4.They try to live by the principle of let everything go as it should. They strive to make the most of what they can and try not to worry about problems that are beyond their control. They are quite stress-resistant

5.Most often, they do not work in their specialty. They could change a lot of jobs, and in each they developed quite successfully. They like to try and learn something new

Uranus in the 11th house:

1.Most of the time, his friends are creative and unusual. I would even say crazy a little bit. Such a person is attracted to cheerful, energetic and fervent people

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate dependence on other people's opinions and low self-esteem

3.Good leadership and organizational skills. Such a person is energetic and creative, knows how to communicate with a crowd of people and hear everyone's opinion. Many of them are activists at school or university

4.Such people rarely lose their virginity before the age of 18. They prefer to carefully look for the very person with whom they will feel not only a physical, but also a spiritual connection (for them this is a mandatory point)

5.With tense aspects, it may indicate social phobia or fear of loneliness. A person literally cannot be in silence or alone with his thoughts

Uranus in the 12th house:

1.Very good intuition, but there may be neurological problems (sleep problems, seizures, nervous tics, etc.)

2.Very kind and even too kind. They tend to put their own needs below those of others. They do not like to quarrel and will rather keep silent so as not to create unnecessary noise (but also consider the Sun and Mercury)

3.From the outside, such a person gives the impression of an educated and calm person. They are like your beloved grandfather, to whom you can always come for hugs and interesting stories.They are very comfortable!

4.On the other hand, people with this placement claim that because of their social flexibility, it is difficult for them to understand who they really are. The influence of other people is so strong that it is difficult for them to hear their inner voice

5.They prefer oversize clothes in calm tones(but also consider your Venus). Loose or wavy hair suits them very well. Sweaters or cardigans fit them best!

[starkwlkr]

annoying little brothers | f1

female driver x f1 drivers (platonic) (same age as daniel so 33)

part 2 part 3

Y/N L/N BEING THE FUNNIEST DRIVER ON THE GRID

The video starts of with a press conference from the United States Grand Prix. Y/n was seated with Charles, Pierre, Daniel and Sebastian her being in the middle of all the men who she considered her brothers.

She was listening to all the questions the men were receiving from how they thought they were going to do, how’s the team doing, etc. But when a reported finally asked her a question, she completely blanked.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about my son. We were supposed to get breakfast together and he hasn’t texted me back. I haven’t seen Lando all day.” Y/‘ said making the drivers and reporters laugh.

“When did you adopt Lando? I wasn’t aware.” Daniel played along.

“2019. He was actually lost when I met him. It was during the Australian Grand Prix, his first f1 race. I found him and we did the Melbourne walk together and I’ve just kind of adopted ever since. So if any of you bully my son, I’m coming after you.” Y/n explained.

“He’s probably texting you right now saying ‘stop embarrassing me, mom!’” Sebastian went on.

“Wait, he’s over there!” Pierre spotted the Brit rushing towards their direction.

“He’s alive!” Charles cheered.

Finally, Lando arrived to their interview area with a box from a a bakery in his hand. “Sorry, I have to drop this off. We’ll get breakfast tomorrow. I got you pastries.” Lando gave Y/n the box and a hug then he was off since he was late for his interview.

“You’ve raised your son well.” The reporter joked.

“That was all me, I needed no help.”

The next clip was a fan video from 2021. Y/n had just finished her date with a guy and now she was signing autographs and taking photos with a group of girls. The girls had just finished their meals at a restaurant when they spotted the f1 driver leaving with a guy. The politely asked for a photo, which y/n was more than glad to take. Her date stepped aside to give them a moment.

“Sorry to interrupt your date.” A girl apologized for her and all her friends.

“Nothing to be sorry about, honey. I’m actually nervous because I don’t know how the date went. I’m horrible at first dates so this is kinda making me less stressed.” Y/n admitted. The girls laughed as y/n signed a girls phone case.

“Has he met Lando?” Another girl asked knowing how close y/n and lando are.

“Not yet. I’m afraid that Lando might scare him off. Everyone on the grid might, especially seb. He will definitely give him one of those ‘treat her right or I will run you over’ speeches.” Y/n signed another phone case.

“Does he knows you’re famous?”

“Oh god, no! I told him I was unemployed and that a sugar daddy was giving me money. I’m surprised he still agreed to come on this date with me.” Y/n chuckled.

Months later, the guy ended up being y/n’s boyfriend. He even attended the British Grand Prix where he finally met Lando, who was actually the one to tell him to treat y/n right or he would run him over.

The next clip started off with the intro to grill the grid. The challenge was to guess the driver’s numbers, something that y/n was semi confident about.

“So we start off with my man, Danny, number three.” She wrote down on her clipboard. “Four, my son, Lando. Also ever since I met Lando I’ve been seeing the number four quite often. It’s scary actually. Can’t decide if Lando put a curse on me or not.”

“Would he do that?”

“He shouldn’t,” y/n raised her voice slightly. “Anyways, next is … oh! Seb! I don’t know why I couldn’t think of him right away. Then we have latifi at number six then kimi at seven.” She continued writing down the names.

“Nine ….Mazepin.” She fought the urge to roll her eyes since her and the driver were never on good terms.

“Ten, my favorite frenchie well one of, we treat everyone nice here, gasly.” Y/n winked at the camera. “Eleven, the mexican minister of defense, Perez. And then we have me! Thirteen!”

“Do you think Lando got your number right?”

“I don’t doubt him ever.”

“Thirteen, my mother! Everyone better get that right.” Lando pointed at the camera menacingly.

“Fourteen, Alonzo. Sixteen, Leclerc Charles. Eighteen, stroll and twenty two!” Y/n sang the number in the tune of taylor swift’s song. “Yuki! Thirty one, Esteban, my other frenchie. Thirty three, max does he have a middle name verstappen.”

“Have you noticed that you haven’t gotten any wrong yet?”

“I’m just the best, that’s why.” Y/n laughed. “Forty four, the seven time world champion, sir lewis hamilton. Fourty seven, mick mick mick. I love to say his name.”

Y/n had completely forgotten she had to be writing the names down. She was having too much fun.

“Fifty five, carlos smooth operator sainz jr. sixty three, the man with two first names, russell george.” Y/n said as she looked down at the numbers on the paper.

“Do you know his middle name?”

Y/n gasped. “Is it another first name?”

“I believe it’s William.”

“Three names!? It sounds so british.” Y/n chuckled. “Um, seventy seven valtteri, right?” Y/n saw the interviewer nod. “I was getting worried my streak would be broken. And ninety nine, antonio!”

“You got all of them!” Everyone in the room cheered.

“Did anyone else get them all?” Y/n asked.

“Daniel did.”

“Of course. He’s good with numbers.”

The next clip was from the same grill the grid video but it was a blooper. Lando had arrived right as y/n finished filming and handed her a water bottle.

“Did you get my number?” Lando asked curiously.

“Yeah, ninety five, right? Cause you’re a McQueen fan.” Y/n teased as she grabbed the bottle from lando’s hand.

“Yeah, you remembered!” Lando played along “how did she really do?” He asked.

“She got them all right.”

“Really? I’ve got a smart mother!” Lando high fived the woman.

“It’s because I’ve got a photographic memory.” Y/n nodded with the most serious face on.

“Do you really?” Lando asked. He was surprised to hear that.

“No, I just love to lie.”

The next clip started with Daniel and Lando standing next to boards with their 2022 rankings. As predicted, Daniel and Lando’s part of the interview was mostly filled with them drawing over each other’s pictures.

Daniel them knocked over Lando’s rankings to the ground. “That’s how I feel.”

“That was the worst timing ever. Y/n is walking this way.” Lando told Daniel, who immediately picked up the board.

“Are those your rankings?” Y/n asked as she approached the duo. She then noticed that the setup and quickly apologized to the camera man. “Sorry, I’m just curious now.”

“Are you proud of me?” Lando asked, standing next to her and throwing his arm over her shoulder.

“When am I not? Wait, except that time you pushed me into my birthday cake.” Y/n pinched his side. “Can I see the pen?” She asked the guys, Lando gave her his.

“She’s adding to our masterpieces. This piece will be worth millions years from now.” Daniel said.

Y/n then scribbled little stars around Lando’s head and then signed it at the top. “Actually you both look great in your pictures. Did they use photoshop?”

“Excuse me, this is all natural.”

“Y/n! Hi, hello. What’s going on here?” Martin brundle asked the woman as she walked with her mom and pr manager, Lucy.

“Martin! It’s been a while, nothing much. How are you?” Y/n hugged the former racing driver. “This is my mom, she’s been wanting to meet you.”

“Mrs. l/n, hello. Welcome, how are you?” Martin greeted the older woman.

“Great. I’m here supporting my girl. It’s been a wonderful weekend.” Y/n’s mom smiled.

“Are you aware that you have a grandson that drives for McLaren?” Martin asked making all three ladies laugh.

“Yes, Lando is a very lovely young man.”

“How does it feel to have a daughter and grandson in f1?” Martin asked in a serious tone.

“Amazing. I’m super proud of both of them.”

“Thank you ladies for your time. Have a wonderful day.” Martin smiled at them, but before he could leave, y/n gave him a hug goodbye.

“Take care, Martin!” Y/n waved to the man and left with her mom and Lucy.

“She wins everything. Give her all the trophies. Everything is hers.” Martin said to the camera.

The final clip was consisted of y/n after a race getting interviewed.

“Do you often see your father?” Someone asked from the back.

“No, actually we’re just good friends.”

“What’s your opinion on the president of the United States?” Asked the same person.

“I don’t think about him.”

“What’s going on between max verstappen and lewis hamilton?”

“I don’t know, I just work here.”

[cowchickenbeefpork]

i genuinely just want to hear criticism of the shows not meaningless gibbering about how bad it is and being unwilling to hear any rebuttal for why someone may like that moment. i came her since I wanted to see rewrites and genuine good critique backed up by moments from the show. SO MANY OF YOU PEOPLE JUST WANNA SHIT ON THE SHOW JUST BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF ITTTTTTT YOU PEOPLE ACT LIKE FUCKING CHILDERN I HAVE HAD ITTTTTTTTTTTTT

it genuinely sucks being in a fandom that's an "anti" fandom

[kierongillen]

General Player Advice For RPGs

I published this in my newsletter here a while back, and discourse reminded me I wanted to put it more public. I probably should get around to actually doing a proper blog for this kind of stuff. You can sign up to the newsletter here.

One of the things which I’ve been chewing over since getting back into RPGs is that there’s so much advice for GMs and so little advice for players. I keep thinking over why - though the whys aren’t what I’m about to write about. However, some other folk think any worthwhile advice is system/genre specific.

This got me chewing over whether I agree with that. As the list below shows, I don’t.

The first four are ones where I think I succeeded, and as principles generally guide you towards better play no matter what game you’re playing. The last three are mainly applicable to games with a significant story component (the last especially). There’s a few more I played with, but they were more about being a good at the table generally – about being a better player in any game rather than specifically about role-playing games. I also avoided ones which were more GM-and-player advice rather than just player advice (if there’s a problem in game, communicate out of game, use appropriate safety tools, etc).

I also didn’t include “Buy The GM Stuff”.

Anyway – here they are. See what you think.

GENERAL PLAYER PRINCIPLES FOR BETTER PLAY

1) Make choices that support the table’s creative goals

If you’re playing a storygame, don’t treat it like a tactical wargame. If you’re playing a tactical wargame, don’t treat it like a storygame. If it’s bleak horror, don’t make jokes. If you’re in a camp cosy romp, don’t bring in horror. It also varies from moment to moment – if someone’s scene is sincere, don’t undercut it.

2) Be A Fan of The Other Characters

This is GM advice in almost all Powered By the Apocalypse games – for the GM to be a fan of the characters. It’s a good trait for a player to cultivate. Be actively excited and interested in the other characters’ triumphs and disasters. Cheer them on. Feel for them. Players being excited for other players always makes the game better. Players turning off until it’s their turn always makes it worse.

3) Be aware of the amount of spotlight time you’re taking

This is a hard one for fellow ADHD-ers, but have an awareness of who is speaking more and who is speaking less. A standard GM skill is moving spotlight time around to players who have had less time. Really good players do this too. Pass the ball.

4) Learn what rules apply to you, to smooth the game, not derail it.

To stress, this isn’t “come to the table knowing everything” but learning the rules that are relevant to your character along the way, especially if they are marginal (looking at you, Grappling and Alchemy rules). Doing otherwise adds to the facilitator’s cognitive load and hurts the game’s flow. The flip is being aware that knowing stuff isn’t an excuse to break the game’s flow with a rules debate either – that’s an extension of the third principle.

5) Make choices which support other characters’ reality

If someone’s playing a scary bastard, treat them like a scary bastard. If they’re meant to be the leader, have your character treat them like the leader , for better or worse. A fictional reality is shared, and you construct it together.

6) Ensure The Group Understands Who Your Character Is

This is the flip of the above – having a character conception that is clear enough that everyone gets who you are, what you want to do and how you want to do it. If you don’t, the table will be incapable of supporting your choices. This links to…

7) If asked a preference in a story game, a strong choice is almost always better than a middling choice.

Don’t equivocate. If asked “You’ve met this person before. How do you feel about him?” either “I love him” or “I hate him” is better than anything middling. The exception is if it’s something you’re really not interested in pursuing.

[wizashcs]

Hi hi

May I ask for some spicy stuff where the s/o starts teasing some boys in front of their man/crew? You can take is as you like ~

With Crocodile , Iceburg (He dosn't get enough love), Sanji? Ty ty

Well, well, well… If I have to work with Sanji I really should put on my apron. Sure thing, hon! I’ll do some jealous men for you!;)

One Piece Headcanons - Jealousy

Characters: Sanji, Crocodile, Iceburg

cw.: jealousy, revenge, possesive thoughts/speaking, voyeurism, slight degradation, fingering, oral fem!receiving, oral male!recieving

fem! s/o

(These will be more like scenarios, because no way I can write these shortened💀)

Sanji

You might be used to Sanji’s flirty behaviour towards women by now, however it doesn’t mean it makes you less annoyed. Since you two are together, Sanji shows true love to you, and avoids talking to other women the way he used to. Still, his love and respect towards them becomes a little too much here and there, and he’s not smart enough to notice it in time sometimes. One day, you had enough. When you stopped at a smaller island to buy some goods for the next cruise, you’ve met a few guys around your age at the docks, selling fish and other sea creatures for pretty high prices. Suddenly, a little mean lightbulb lit up above your head. You thought if you used your female charms, you might even get a little bit of a discount on some products, and at the same time, you could teach your dumb man a little bit of a lesson.

You walked towards the salesmen, putting on your kindest smile and honeyed words. Sanji immediately noticed your quick disappearance, he obviously started looking around to find you. You never leave without a word, and that made him worried. And then, he saw you, talking to those men. Oh those men must pay for getting around you, when you’re all by yourself, without him to protect you. You’ve successfully persuaded those boys to give you some of the fish cheaper, when all of the sudden, Sanji appeared beside you. A lit cigarette hung out of his mouth, his eyes looked annoyed, but to you, he spoke sweet like honey.

“You okay, lovely?.” He said, and looked at the merchant. “What’ya you lookin’ at, making the fish rot in the sun? Go and do you job.”

“Sanji… I was doing business.” You murmured, but he was too busy started arguing with the fishermen by now.

“We can talk about that on the ship later, alright apple pie?~ I’ll finish the business for you.”

You let out a heavy sigh, but in the inside, you kind of had your fun. Seeing him looking at those poor guys with his anger filled eyes just because he became jealous of them, talking to you. Your plan worked, but you’re not that mean to not bring up the subject again. Sanji came back to the ship around fifteen minutes later, with a basket of fish… He really finished the business instead of you.

You walked to the kitchen, so you could speak your concerns too, and possibly apologize for your behaviour as well. Sanji was in the kitchen, chopping up some vegetables for lunch, when you entered. He seemed bothered, but he still smiled at you when you appeared.

“Lunch will be ready in two hours, but if you’re hungry I can make you a quick snack, love.”

“You’re the snack itself.” You joked, and hugged him from behind, pressing a kiss on his back. “You know, when those guys gathered around me… I started it.”

Sanji went silent for a bit, and wiped his hands into a clean kitchen rag.

“Even if a woman starts ‘something’, it’s not right to gather around her like that… That must have been scary for you.” You could hear his voice is disappointed, but he didn’t start blaming you, not even a little bit. Your stomach clenched from feeling guilt, so you continued.

“I was trying to get some discount with honeyed words, and… There was a little bit of revenge towards you.”

Sanji turned around this time. He seemed worried. He believed he messed up something hard, and the worst part was that he didn’t know how.

“What? Did I do something wrong, love?”

“Not that wrong!” You tried reassuring. “It’s just sometimes you’re still too kind to other women… It made me feel jealous and I kinda wanted to make you as well…”

“Oh, mon chérie, oh no–” He breathed out, before leaning towards you to kiss your forehead. “I swear to you, I will be more careful with my words… I didn’t mean to hurt you, or make you think you’re not enough. You’re everything I have, and I shall show it to you every day, every way possible… Forgive me.”

“Sanji–“ You spoke his name out of surprise, as he fell on his knees down at your feet, hugging your legs and burying his face into your skirt.

“Darling, I’m begging you on my knees,” He pleaded, and looked up to you with his ever loving eyes. He was desperate to make up to the mistakes he did. “let me please you, right here and now. Let me make it up to you.”

“Sweetheart, it’s fine, you don’t have to– We are in the kitchen!” You tried to reason with him, but there was no use. He wanted this.

“Please.” He whispered, as he started pulling your skirt up, so he could reach your thighs with his mouth. He began to kiss the inner part of your thigh, his fingers gripped your skirt tightly. You didn’t want him to stop, each time he pleaded you to let him eat you out, it got a little harder to think. Eventually, you gave in. He grabbed your panties with his teeth, pulling it down all the way on your legs, until it hit the ground. He teasingly kissed around your womanhood, on that little straight line that separates your pussy from your thighs, and then, down again on your legs. He wanted to show you how appreciated you and all of your body’s hidden treasures are.

“I love you. I promise I’ll cherish you the way you deserve it, my love.” He kissed the words into your thighs, just right before he leaned to your wet cunt so he could finally give you everything he can to make you forgive. His tounge immediately found your favorite spot and speed, because he remembers everything you previously told and showed him about your preferences. You moaned his name quietly, grabbing into his blonde tufts, pleading for him not to ever stop. It only made him even more eager and confident to take you the stars. Don’t expect that you’re going to walk out of the kitchen on your own legs. The number of the orgasms you will get because of him in the next thirty minutes will make your feet go so shaky, that you won’t be able to walk without getting suspicious.

Crocodile

There was a meeting with greater influence at Baroque Works. Your husband, the Warlord Crocodile himself wasn’t paying much attention to you for a few days, since this occassion was a pretty important one. Men and women with high influence gathered to talk through political events, future plans and statistics, with the company of ridiculously expensive champagne and wine. You’ve always hated these kinds of meetings. You’re not important and feared enough to catch anyone’s attention by your power, but Crocodile insists on you to be there at all times, even while he knows you hate these occassions. The truth was, he loved showing you off the people. He loved the feeling that he could make everyone know that a beauty like you, belongs to him, and him only.

Meanwhile Crocodile enjoyed the evening with the people you barely heard about in your lifetime, you sat on your reserved chair, wondering about how much you just want to leave the room and do anything better, than this. You were bored, and a little annoyed at Crocodile as well. He spent long days ignoring you, because all he cared about in the last few weeks was his work, and this meeting. You usually understood how busy he was, but you hated how you were used on these events. Just a wife image? A trophy? The bare thought of it frustrated you. Out of your boredom, or annoyance, a childish idea run into your mind. You stood up from your chair and walked across the room to a man you never even heard about. It didn’t matter how he looked like or what he was doing here, you just wanted him to play a role for a game you wanted to entertain yourself with, (and possibly fill your husband up with anger). Even though he didn’t pay much attention to you on these meetings, sometimes his eyes wandered to you, just for a quick check that you’re there at all. It happened just like this as well, when he noticed you chatting with a man. You chuckled at his unfunny jokes, touched the man’s arm playfully. He didn’t understand your unusual behaviour, but it was sure as hell he didn’t like what he saw.

In that moment, he didn’t care about the subject of the conversation he was having with someone, he left without a word just to reach you.

“You may leave now.” He spoke to you, and you looked up to him, smiling smugly as a fox.

“But I’m having so much fun, darling.”

“I bet you do.” He replied quickly as he grabbed your hand tightly. He looked at the man you were small talking just yet, and told him to piss off, while he was dragging you out of the room. “I don’t want you here causing trouble for me. We’re going to talk about this later.”

You shrugged your shoulders, without a feeling of any responsibility. Honestly, you were a little satisfied too. He deserved a little bit of a reality check by now.

A few hours have passed, and you sat at your desk, reading some book your husband gave you for your birthday. It was one that you were longing to read for years, but it’s so rare because of the lack of copies that he had to spend months researching until he could buy you one of those few. You loved this book dearly, because it always reminded you how much you’re in love with eachother, despite every stupid arguements. You were two pages from the next chapter, when your door opened, and Crocodile came in.

“How was your night, dear?” You asked, not looking up from your book.

“Quit this attitude, until I have my patience.” He said, throwing off his heavy, black furcoat from his shoulders to his chair.

“Yeah, everything is about you, no one cares about my patience!” You choked out and closed your book. You stood now on your feet and started walking to your shared bed, when he caught you by your wrist.

“Your patience? How many hours of work did you put in this project so it could happen, huh?” You shrugged your shoulder again. “No hours, yet there was a place for you at my table, you could participate in such an important event.”

“Oh, don’t make me laugh, Crocodile! You only tolerate me on your dumb meetings, because that would mean you could show off how hot stuff your wife’s made of. What? Is it a problem if I show off my body by myself?” In that sudden moment, he caught your chin with his hand, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“Do you hear yourself when you say such stupidity? You vowed yourself to me. Your body, your mind and soul belongs to me.”

You couldn’t help but get excited at his words…You were frustrated, angry, but never scared. After all, being his was all you had. Your voice became emotionally shaky once you started speaking again:

“Yes… And for that, I did this. All because I wanted you to see me, to have your attention on me. You don’t know how hard it is to deal with you and your work sometimes. I don’t even know when was the last time you actually looked in my way.”

Your bold words caught him by surprise. He took the burnt cigar out of his mouth and pressed it against an ashtray on his desk. Then, he began to laugh, while he walked to you again. He pulled you to your bedroom’s huge window and pressed your back against the cold glass.

“My attention?” He leaned down to your ear, so he could whisper. There was something in his quiet voice that messed up your mind. You wanted him so bad, now more than ever. It was so damn long you could feel his scent in your nose. “Don’t worry, you certainly will have that, after all your hard ‘work’… Now turn around, and bend over.”

What he said caught you off guard… Did he really get aroused from all this? You slowly turned around, and pressed your palms against the window you were standing by. You arched your back like a cat towards him, obeying his words. It was as quick as lightning when he used his hook to tear off the panties you had on until now. The expensive, laced fabric simply fall on the ground, and no one ever talked about them. You didn’t really have time to react to that anyway, because the next thing you felt was two of his fingers pushing their way inside your pussy without any warning. You squirmed and whined by his rough fingers moving inside you, rubbing mercilessly against your sweet spot. As you moved around, he pressed your back down with his hook to keep you in place, and so you could arch your ass a little more for him.

“Quiet. I don’t want anyone to notice how you’re getting fucked until passing out, but at least you can enjoy the thought of being seen. Isn’t this what you wanted, my dear?”

Iceburg

(This will be funny af because the man’s whole career is a headcanon.)

This happened back in the days when you and Iceburg were yet just a couple. His hair was longer back then, but the beard on his chin grew strongly. You loved Iceburg dearly, and he felt the same way towards you. We could say you were pretty popular pair, everyone knew you two were dating for years now. He was young, and worked as a shipwright with a guild. You were always supporting towards him, though you didn’t really have experience on how to do this work, however bringing lunch for him and his colleagues was enough, and very appreciated.

It was a similar hard day for him in work, so you prepared a bunch of food for him and the men he worked with. Though, when you arrived to the workplace, your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. You asked around his coworkers, but no one could say anything more than “He was here a minute ago.” You didn’t start worrying by that, of course, especially since you liked the men he was working with, you thought it would be fun to just talk to them a little until Iceburg arrives back. You gave some of the lunch you prepared for the workers, whom were happy to have you for at least a chat while they take a break. Since you were a fine lady, some of the guys tried to flirt, but there was someone who was showing off his abs to you. To say the truth, you became actually pretty amazed by seeing how big his arms were, so you asked him if you could touch it.

The mean leaned closer to you with his arm, and you gently rubbed it. That was the exact moment when your boyfriend arrived.

“What’s happening here?” He asked, and you flinched, putting your hands away in an instant.

“Baby, finally! Where have you been?” You asked him as you hurried up to him, but he was too worked up with the thing he just saw a few moments ago.

“I saw a turtle walking around the streets and I put it back to the water where it was safe… But honey, why were you touching that idiot’s arm? You don’t love me anymore?” He asked you with serious concern.

“Of course I do, babe, I was just surprised by how big his arm is… I know this sounds dumb like that, but there was nothing more to it.” Not only you, but the workers as well tried reassuring their boss to not worry, which seemed to work.

Half of an hour later you went back home to his house, so you could wait for him there until his shift was over for the day. Around four hours have passed when the front door opened, and Iceburg stepped in the house with a giant teddy bear in his arms.

“Honey, I brought you this bear. Promise you still love me?” He asked, tucking the teddy bear into your arms without further questions. You had to drop everything you had in your hands just so you could hold the surprising gift.

“Iceburg, where have you got this? I told you that I love you, you shouldn’t have bought this for me… Where do I even put it?”

He crossed his arms and looked around the house:

“I don’t know yet, I didn’t think about that. Once I get rich there won’t be a problem with it because we’ll have much more room.”

Sometimes you just had to let his reasons go, he won’t take that giant plushie back to the store, and you couldn’t even ask him to anyway. You put the teddy down on the floor, and turned to him to kiss him. He hugged you by your waist, embracing you tightly to him. You knew his previous concerns were true, he was a sensitive type ever since you knew him.

“I love you, baby.” You murmured between your kisses. “There’s no way I could love anyone more like you, you know.”

“I know…I’m sorry I became jealous.” He kissed your ear as he leaned down to you, wandering to your cheek and mouth with his lips. You felt like you wanted to show you more of how you love and appreciate him. You pressed your palm on his chest, pushing him a little backwards so he would sit down on the couch you had in your livingroom. You sat on his lap, while your hands began to unbutton his shirt.

“What are you doing, honey?” He asked with a pinch of blush on his face.

“Just making you sure that you have no reason to be jealous.” Your smile widened as you started drawing circles on one of his nipples with your thumb. You could feel his erection grow in his pants, and you couldn’t help but begin to move your hips back and forth carefully, rubbing your hungry pussy against his rock hard cock. He sighed quietly, pulling you into a kiss by tucking his fingers in your hair. His dark red lipstick left stains on your mouth, and you loved it every time.

As your passionate kiss deepened, you unzipped his pants, and crawled out of his lap, kneeling down in front of him. You looked up to his messy, blushing face, as you helped his cock out of the tight pants he was trapped in. You stroked it gently, giving it a little bit of lubricant with your saliva.

“I’ll give you the head of your life, babe.” You whispered as you finally took it in your mouth, moving your tounge on his tip desperately. His quiet moans and sighs filled your brain, keeping you motivated to get more of his sweet reactions out of him. His fingers squeezed your hairtufts tightly, but careful enough not to hurt you.

“I love you, (y/n).” He groaned out your name, as he reached for your free hand to hold you. You locked your fingers together, meaning that you two are there for eachother. No matter how many people you cross the streets, no matter how long you’re apart from eachother. You’re always there, and no one can tear you apart.

[crazy-only]

nsfw alphabet oscar piastri edition !

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

sweet baby is probably making sure you came, getting in between your legs and licking you clean like the tease he is before cleaning you up properly with a towel and getting you your favorite drink. he jokes around a lot but does not play when it comes to caring for you.

b = body part (favorite body part on themselves, as well as their partner’s)

oscar is OBSESSED with your fucking tits. oh my god you cannot convince me otherwise. every time he sees your rack on display in a low-cut shirt (regardless of your size) he gets turned on. it’s gotten to the point where he has to take a “bathroom break” during family dinners because he just can’t believe you’re his.

once you guys got more comfortable during sex, he got you to ride his face, and oh my god oscar was so happy in that moment. after that, he made sure at least weekly you were nearly suffocating him with your sweet pussy, so, long story short, he likes his nose because you also like it! ≥︺‿︺≤

c = cum (anything to do with cum)

baby cums so much you get worried you might get knocked up sometimes (even though you’re on the pill). if you haven’t cum yet, his stringy ropes will definitely hit all the right spots, leaving you in a moaning mess.

sometimes he cums on your belly and licks it off you when you’re insecure that day, just to show you how much he worships your body.

oscar also loves making you taste your own cum after fingering you slowly for an hour. you just taste so good! he can’t help it. (>‿◠)

d = dirty secret (dirty secret of theirs!)

oscar secretly wants to fuck you while you’re tied up. he seems like the type to joke around and make sarcastic remarks during sex, but deep down he’s fucking sadistic. he wants to see how helpless you can get under his hands.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

yes. just yes.

haha just kidding. i actually don’t think he’s that experienced, just because of the fact he’s probably been focused on racing his whole life and never really had a chance to hook up with people. naturally, his body count is low.

that being said, though, he’s not scared at all to try new things with you. oscar has no shame when it comes to making you guys feel good—so don’t worry about experience!

f = favorite position (cowgirl, missionary, etc.)

oscar loves fucking you face to face, with your hands held above your head in his left hand and his other hand fondling your tits. he’s big on seeing your reactions, and making you face him while yours contorts with pleasure and pain.

g = goofy (are they serious or more humorous in the moment?)

oscar’s actually pretty scary when it comes to freaky time. you love to tease him just to be a brat, but when your man finally snaps, oscar can’t help it but show you who’s in control. he loves a good laugh, and sometimes when you guys are having soft sex, it’s not rare to hear giggling, but in all other occasions, your man is taming you.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

this man could care less about the hair situation down there. he shaves and whatnot so it’s never uncomfortable for him while racing, but he knows you like it when there’s a happy trail for you to get entranced in. he also loves forcing you down his cock so your nose is surrounded by his pubes. it makes him so much harder.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

oh my god this man literally asked you to be his girlfriend with a whole garden of candles and roses. he plays it off like these romantic moments are just to get you flustered, but he truly does enjoy making a good cute memory with you and learning more about you.

j = jack off (masturbation head canon)

oscar doesn’t have much time for getting himself off. (◞‸◟) regardless of his horniness level, most nights, he just falls right to sleep. when he does have a spare minute, though, he jacks off to videos of you moaning his name. he imagines it were your fingers wrapped around himself.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

like mentioned previously, oscar loves to tie your ass up, making you whimper and cum several times over before he even thinks about himself.

other than rigging, oscar loves some good food play, like eating whipped cream or something sweet from your tits until you beg for his dick.

l = location (favorite place to have sex!)

he is utterly addicted to fucking you in the car. he loves it when you think you’re the boss and drive him around town. even after you scraped another car trying to park (totally the other car’s fault), he still ate you out, reassuring you that he can afford to fix a little mistake like yours.

extra points if he gets you to suck his dick while he drives. he saw you cum in your panties one time just from sucking him off, and he found it really hot, but he knows you’d be so embarrassed if he ever found out, so he never said anything about it.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

absolutely anything to do with your tits turns him on. if you’re in the pool or it’s cold and your nipples become prominent—boom! he’s bricked up. if you spill something on your shirt and you try to clean it up with a napkin—you guessed it! man’s bricked up!

he also fucking loves it when you’re a brat, even though it seems otherwise. when you stick your tongue out at him, all he can think about is that tongue getting forced down your throat by his dick. it’s obvious because his cheeks turn red.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn off’s)

oscar doesn’t fuck with blood play or any cutting of the skin for that matter. it’s inconvenient as he trains daily and can’t afford injuries.

he also doesn’t really enjoy being dommed for a whole week. he’s got to have at least 60% control in the bedroom for him to be happy.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

oscar loves driving you insane with his tongue on your pussy, eating you out how he knows you like it, but he honestly loves it more when you suck him off. it’s just a power thing, and you don’t complain because it also turns you on. ( ^ω^)

he doesn’t mind how good or bad you are at blowjobs. as long as you’re putting in the effort, this man is bound to cum.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

oscar leans more on the slow side just because he wants to torture you and show you who’s in control. every now and then when you’ve proven your worth he’ll go fast and rough the way you like it, because, at the end of the day, he’s whipped for you.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh my god i just know oscar has a quickie before every race to calm his nerves down. if he doesn’t listen to music beforehand he has to chill out in some other way, no? usually he prefers you sucking his dick off in the family bathroom before hopping in the f1 car, but when he doesn’t have you, he makes due with his hands ＞﹏＜ (though he swears he preforms better after a blowjob from you).

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

your man loves risking being caught while fucking you because he simply doesn’t give a fuck. he personally thinks the chance of getting caught makes the whole situation hotter, and loves covering your moans with wet kisses.

to experiment with non-vanilla type sex, he’s more than happy to do so. he really doesn’t mind trying new things, because baby knows what to fall back on if you’re not getting the pleasure you deserve. (>‿◠)

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

oscar can go for as long as you need. when he has the time, he loves to overstimulate you until you’re near passing out. all of the training he’s done is more than enough to fuck you hard like you want it!

t = toys (do they own toys and use them? on a partner or on themselves?)

due to his busy schedule, baby has a toy that he knows will get him off quick and take away the horniness for at least a few hours. for himself, he’s never really adventured into the world of sex toys, preferring his hands or basic toy.

when he met you, though, he started purchasing all sorts of gadgets just to drive you crazy. his favorite one to use on you is the vibrator with a suction cup that attaches to the ground. he makes you ride it and cum all over it, stroking himself at the erotic scene before fucking you hard with his own dick, making you say that his is better.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

like mentioned previously, oscar teases you endlessly, mainly just to show you who’s the boss. you’re just so cute under his lengthy fingers; who wouldn’t tease you a bit?

v = volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make? etc.)

oh god oscar lets it all out when he’s fucking your pussy. after a day of dealing with the press and holding in all of the rude comebacks he could’ve made to the reporters, oscar needs to let off his steam vocally. he groans and tells you dirty things, calling you his slut, not bothering to keep his volume down for the neighboring hotel rooms. frankly, he finds it a bit funny for them to have to hear all of his sounds.

bonus points if he can make you scream cutely as well! ≧ω≦

w = wild card (a random head canon for the person)

“mmph, fuckkk oscarrrr, feels sooo goood,” you moan with your eyes closed, focused on riding his nose while his tongue did magic to your clit. oscar just hummed in response, the vibrations going right to your core. at first you were a bit worried in case you happened to suffocate your man, but thankfully, the worry dissipated and you were riding your high, oscar with his hands on your thighs. “so fucking hot,” he’d grumble from under you, making you ride his face even faster. when you were close, oscar made sure to tug you down so he could fuck you good with his tongue, lewd noises echoing in the room.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on beneath the clothes)

wow your mans is packing. oscar acts chill but that’s because he’s able to be so confident with his figure! there’s no reason to be insecure because baby is packing, and he knows it.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

his is quite average, or if anything, below average. he’s learned how to resist his urges when training, and for that reason, only really gets hot and bothered when he sees you! ~>_<~ as long as you’re nearby, all he can think about is that pretty body of yours!

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

oscar falls asleep rather quickly because he knows he’ll be able to have you all to himself the day after. he knows you’re loyal to him and you’ll also want to spend some quality time with him. you’re his safe space, so naturally, he falls asleep around you! *^_^*

notes:

omg i wrote a whole fxcking report on this man’s sex habits holy sh!t. i wish i could write essays like how i write smut. =_=

but yes, hope you enjoyed reading! <3 who should i do next?

[sillysillygoofygoose]

Older! Boyfriend Toji x Fem Reader pt. 2

MDNI! EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD

CW: weapon play

18+ Headcanons:

Older! Toji, who was definitely a fuck-friend, before he was a boyfriend. At first, it was a once a week occasion, almost like an appointment. Slowly it became twice a week, then four times a week, then almost every night. It became an addiction like no other. He began craving you whenever you weren't with him.

"You free tonight baby? Need to fuck you so bad... haven't seen you in three days, fuck."

Older! Toji who fell first... and swears it was some work of black magic.

"Don't know what you're doing to me, Mama." Toji groans fucking you from behind, watching as a ring of white cream forms at the base of his cock. His hips speed up by the second, realizing that he isn't just feeling lust.

"Tightest, prettiest little pussy I've ever fucked. Sweetest, prettiest girl I've ever met. Put a fucking spell on me."

Older! Toji who is not loud in bed. Sorry to my girls that love the moaners and the whimpering sluts 😔. You'll get groans, grunts, and tons of dirty talk but THAT'S IT.

When you're having make-up sex or when he's angry, he won't make a sound. Just heavy breathing and hard fucking. Kinda scary tbh.

Older! Toji who loves it fucking disgusting. Sloppy, wet, hot, you name it. His favorite thing is to lay down and watch you choke and slobber all over his dick. Chokes you just to have drool spill out of your mouth. Cums all over you, having his seed collect on your shaking body. He's absolutely dead set on making you squirt, training your body as regularly as possible.

Older! Toji who loves experimenting with his knives and handguns in the bedroom. Whether it be pressing his Glock 19 to your forehead while fucking you against the wall, or pressing a blade to your neck while marking you up, he loves the way the danger always makes your breath hitch. Don't worry though, he always takes the bullets out, always uses the dull side of the knife... he'd never be able to forgive himself if something actually happened to you. (When he has basic human empathy 😍🤤)

Older! Toji who first confessed after fucking you raw, going three rounds. He was struck with jealousy after you invited him out to a bar, instead of your apartment like you have been doing routinely for about 5 months. He was having a good time, joking with you, feeling his heart beat a little faster every time your face lit up and your laugh rang out.

Everything was just jolly until some fucking guy walked up to you, introducing himself as Satoru. He began practically begging to buy you a drink, claiming that he's only seen a beauty like yours in a dream about a wild forest goddess he had when he got high for the first time in 9th grade.

Toji rolled his eyes, scoffing at the man who was currently making a fool out of himself. You, on the other hand, found the man's antics amusing, giggling while you allowed him to carry on about his dream, detailing the way the goddess walked towards him, blessing him. You could smell the alcohol on his breath as he informed you that the scene was an exact replica of you walking into the bar.

By the time you got back to your apartment, Toji was less than pleased.

"Oh, C'mon Toji! It was funny. I mean, you really didn't get a kick out of him?" You pest as he walks in, taking off his size 13 boots.

"Tsk, no. He was a drunken idiot. Goddess my ass, he wouldn't know how to worship you."

That night, Toji fucked you sweeter than he ever did before. You expected to have your insides rearranged the second you walked through the door. Something was different. The air around you felt and smelled different as your breathless moans occupied the room. More tender, more purposeful, more...intimate. He worshipped you head to toe.

Once he pulled out, he uttered three sentences that changed your relationship forever...

"You're mine, I'm yours. I want you, I need you. I love you."

He reminds you of this moment from time to time, repeating the same three sentences. Not after you fuck, but after you make love.

Hope you enjoyed! Xoxo