#i have to go watch it to calm myself down
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katrinabrill · 7 hours ago
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12.24.2024
christmas eve blues.
my shift for today starts at 6AM, set my alarm at 3AM but look at the time now. A quarter to go before 1AM. I can't sleep. I watched a lot of unnecessary Tiktok, forced myself to read but no. My mind can't calm down. Anxiety has been a constant companion lately. I am dreading things I know I shouldn't worry about but here I am, thinking about death. The Christmas holidays changed me. It used to be fun but it only reminds me now of ambulance siren, month/s of hospital stay, a total change of family set up, and after 20 years or so, death came on january 2nd of 2021. I miss my dad. I miss my mom. The parents I had when I was growing up. I remembered the year when they got me a Sony walkman because I couldn't stop listening to the radio. Magic 89.9 and RX 93.1. It was joy and happiness. Listening to Spice Girls, Boy Bands, and Alanis Morisette. I still listen to their music but a part of me is bitter and angry. Becoming an adult is hard. Sacrificing a little of yourself, turning a deaf ear, controlling emotions, and staying silent is a golden rule. Show happy when it calls for it and behind close doors, whispers: putang ina.
I sometimes think I can not fully express what I feel because the moment I show angry, frustrations, sadness.. it gets invalidated. What I am feeling is incomparable to theirs. I sometimes share what is going on but I instantly regrets it. We don't want to burden others with our sad tale. They have their own chaos. So we share only the tiniest bit. Ease a litte but here comes anxiety again, telling me, you shouldn't have done that! I have few friends, I think of them as friends, which I don't have a constant communication with. We make plans of seeing and getting together and then forgets about it. Because I don't have any relevant thing, milestone, success to share. Living day by day is probably my biggest win. Since 2017. I remembered telling someone, Hindi pa ako pwede mamatay kasi buhay pa si mama. I think about it lately. What if death takes me, who will look after my mom? my cats? Putang ina.
I look forward for another quiet Christmas and New Year celebration at home. Probably squeeze the hell out of Lucie or Apollo because they also keep me going. Greet friends and wish them well. Stay in bed and try to read and finish book 7 of the Potter series. Can I count finishing the HP series a win for 2024? I don't think ayone can relate to that. I have a lot of setbacks this year, losing the job which I thought would finally help me out financially, going back to the my old office to feel familiarity and safe, sister admitted to the hospital because she refuses to listen to me, my mom, my sister again.. Putang Ina.
Its already 1:44 in the morning, will start preparing for work instead. Get out of bed, start with my first cup of coffee and probably a nice little breakfast. Pretty sure today will be another set of roller coaster of emotions that I need to control. We can't be too happy and too sad today. Smile as needed. Laugh as needed. Because too much laughing will give me colds. Try not push or kill someone along the way. We will not die today or tomorrow, or next week or even the coming year/s because putang ina this life talaga walang mag aalaga kay mama at kay Lucie.
Inhale, exhale. Deep breathing in 1, 2, 3, 4 release at 5, 6, 7.
By the way, I remembered you today because Lifehouse song You and Me was played during my shift. A litte tilt to my normal but all good. How are you?
Merry Christmas if you reached this part. Sorry this is too long and has no point. ☺️
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dixonsbrat · 2 days ago
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── .✦  𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄 ┆ 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧
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𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 ; daryl gets injured on a run and can’t fathom why you’re so worried about him
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ; ‘unspoken thing’ type of relationship, mentions of injuries, blood, angst if you squint, daryl being stubborn
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ; 1k .ᐟ
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ; this man is so stubborn and unaware of how loved he is it makes me so freaking mad sometimes
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“‘m fine,” daryl states the second he walks out of the infirmary and sees you, knowing that you would’ve been worrying about him even if all he had sustained was a mere scratch. a part of him looked relieved to see you, but he also knew you were going to be pissed at him for being so reckless.
“no, you’re not,” you shake your head as you meet his side. “denise said you were close to hitting an artery.”
you had been pacing back and forth since the moment he and aaron had returned from their recruitment trip and you saw the blood dripping down his arm. in this world, even the smallest of injuries could turn into something catastrophic without the right medicine and treatment. so seeing him the way that he was had embedded a fear in you, that you didn’t know you had, deep inside your chest.
“denise is exaggeratin’,” he responds, his voice gruff and hoarse to cover up the way his heart fluttered as he saw the concern in your eyes. he hated seeing you like this, knowing that he was the cause of it. he knew you worried about him every time he left alexandria but he didn’t want it to consume you. “was just a scratch.”
“really?” your shoulders slump with disbelief of how nonchalant he was being about it.
“would ya relax?” he says after a few moments of silence, his voice stern yet soft. he places a gentle hand against your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone, “‘m alright. you’re gettin’ worked up over nothin’.”
you place your hand over his, holding his gaze as you stare up into his blue eyes, "it's not nothing, daryl. it could've been your life on the line."
his heart rate increases rapidly as he stared into your eyes, unable to look away as you gazed up at him. your words and touch causing him to soften as part of the tough persona he constantly displayed in front of others melts away.
“‘m’not dead. ‘s just a scratch. ‘s nothin’ i haven’t dealt with before.” he shakes his head, trying his best to reassure you and resolve the worry that was now causing a crease on your forehead.
“how can you be so calm about this? you could’ve seriously gotten hurt or worse!” you retort, your head lulling back out of frustration. you hated how careless he could be when it came to his own wellbeing.
daryl’s brows furrow at your words now, his fingers gently gripping your chin to force your head back down, so your eyes met his once more. he lets out an exasperated breath through his nostrils, his stare hardening.
“how many times do i have to say ‘m fine?” he replies, his voice sharp. “ya don’t need ta worry.”
you couldn't believe the audacity of him telling you that you didn't need to worry. as if you could just switch it off with a snap of your fingers. you could never understand why he was so careless about his own life, how he could constantly throw himself in danger for the sake of very little.
you turn away from him for a second, your fingers pinching at the bridge of your nose as you let out a deep exhale. you didn't know what to do to make him see just how important he and his life were to you.
he watches you with a slight frown, his irritation slowly melting into regret. he knew you well enough to know that you were frustrated, he could see it in the way your shoulders and jaw were tensing as you turned away from him.
“why can’t you see how valuable and loved you are? why do i have to break myself down just to prove to you how much i care?” you turn back to him, tears now pricking your eyes. “every time you leave alexandria i worry that i’ll never see you again, and the thought of something happening to you while you’re out there-” you stop, your emotions getting the better of you.
he sees the tears welling in your eyes and the look on your face and his heart drops. it was one that he had never witnessed before. you looked so vulnerable, your eyes glistening with unshed tears and your shoulders sloping with defeat. it wasn’t often that you had cried in front of him, but the look of disappointment mixed with hurt and frustration as you struggled to find the words was killing him.
he slowly steps closer to you, his uninjured hand coming to rest on your hip as his eyes soften. he was frustrated at first, unable to understand why his actions had such an impact on you, but seeing you like this made him realise how much he truly cared for you and how much you cared for him.
he swallows, his throat suddenly feeling thick and dry, trying to steady himself before he speaks, “‘m sorry m’puttin this on you. i know ya worry, i just…” he pauses for a moment as he searches for what to say, “…didn’t think it was worth worryin’ about.”
you involuntarily move closer, as if your body knew what you needed before you did, and you rest your forehead against his chin. you knew you were being over dramatic and that daryl could take care of himself, but the images of him being hurt had burnt so deeply into your head.
“just need you safe,” you say, closing your eyes against him.
he closes his eyes with you, feeling you relax against him as you spoke. he brings his hand up from your hip to the small of your back, gently rubbing his thumb against you through the thin material of your shirt, silently reassuring you.
“m’not goin’ anywhere,” he says, his other hand coming up to gently run through your hair. he slowly wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest to feel the steady, yet fast, thump of his heartbeat. “‘m always gonna come back.”
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meazalykov · 24 hours ago
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livestream
jule brand x gamer!reader
summary: a mistake will force the both of you to admit something.
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the familiar hum of your dual monitors fills the room as you settle into your gaming chair, adjusting your headset and taking a sip of water. 
your fingers tap against the desk rhythmically, a mix of nerves and excitement bubbling inside you as the stream countdown ends. the chat is already alive, scrolling at a speed that’s hard to keep up with. you catch glimpses of messages—“hi y/n!”  “top streamer is back (kai wishes)”—and giggle to yourself. 
your audience is loyal, supportive, and somehow manages to make you feel connected even though you’ve been living halfway across the world from your home country of the united states for almost a year now.  
“hey, everyone!” you greet, voice warm and cheerful. you lean forward, adjusting the mic closer to your mouth. 
“how’s it going? what’s everyone been up to today?”  
a flurry of replies fills the screen. some talk about work or school, others ask what game you’ll be playing, and a few just spam emotes in excitement.  
“okay, okay,” you say with a laugh, waving a hand at the camera as if to calm them down. 
“before we jump into a game, let me give you a quick rundown of my day since some people in the chat are asking. it’s been a busy one, not gonna lie.”  
someone gifts you a sub, the notification popping up on the screen. you grin, glancing at the message: 
“how was your day, y/n?”
“see! my day? it was good!” you say, leaning back in your chair. 
“a little hectic, though. i went out for breakfast this morning at this cute little café downtown in wolfsburg—you know the one i mentioned last week? their cappuccinos are insane. afterwards i had to run around and grab some last-minute christmas gifts for my family back in the states. classic procrastination on my part.”  
you laugh softly, pausing briefly as you think about the rest of your day. you’re so comfortable, so used to chatting openly with your audience, that the words come out without much thought. 
“then, my girlfriend jul—”  
you freeze. your heart skips a beat as the realization hits you like a ton of bricks.  
“uh, i mean, my friend jule and i went out for lunch before her training session,” you say quickly, stumbling over the words as you try to backtrack. but it’s too late.  
the chat explodes.  
“DID SHE JUST SAY GIRLFRIEND???”  
“WAIT WAIT WAIT.”  
“i KNEW IT WAS JULE.”  
“not lynn wilms????”  
you can feel your face heat up as you glance at the chat. it’s moving so fast that you can barely make out individual messages, but the general vibe is clear: they caught your slip-up, and there’s no taking it back.  
“uh…” you laugh nervously, running a hand through your hair. “i… yeah, i fucked up, didn’t i? shit the stream hasn’t even really started yet ha ha” you mumble, more to yourself than to the chat, but of course, they hear it.  
the chat continues to erupt with a mix of excitement, shock, and jokes. some viewers are celebrating, others are teasing you, and a few are still trying to piece everything together.  
“okay, okay, calm down, everyone!” you say, holding up your hands as if that could somehow stop the chaos. “look, i think that’s enough excitement for one stream. i’m gonna go, even though i just got on, before i dig myself into an even deeper hole. i’ll see you all tomorrow, okay? have a good night!”  
with a click, you end the stream, the screen going black as you sit back in your chair with a heavy sigh.  
“oh my god,” you mutter, covering your face with your hands. your phone buzzes on the desk, and you already know who it’s from.  
sure enough, it’s lynn. 
lynn: I watched the stream. uh oh..
you groan, typing back quickly: yeah… i think i just outed me and jule to the entire internet.  
your phone buzzes again almost immediately, but this time it’s not a text. it’s jule calling. your stomach flips as you stare at her name on the screen, hesitating for a moment before answering.  
“hey…” you say cautiously, your voice small.  
“so… did you do what i think you did?” jule asks, her tone calm but with a hint of curiosity.  
“i’m so sorry,” you blurt out, the words tumbling out in a rush. 
“it just slipped out! i was talking about my day, and i wasn’t thinking, and then—”  
“y/n,” jule interrupts, her voice steady. 
“breathe. it’s okay.”  
“but we agreed to keep it private for at least a year, and now—”  
“y/n,” she says again, a little more firmly this time.
 “it’s okay. i know you didn’t mean to. honestly, people were going to figure it out eventually.”  
you fall silent, guilt still gnawing at you. 
“are you sure you’re not mad? because i feel awful, jule. like, seriously awful.”  
“i’m not mad,” she reassures you, her voice softening. 
“i promise. if anything, it’s kind of funny. you tried so hard to cover it up, but your chat is way too smart for that.”  
you let out a small, reluctant laugh. 
“yeah, they’re too smart for their own good but still, i feel like i messed up.”  
“you didn’t,” she says firmly. 
“it’s fine. really. now stop beating yourself up about it, okay?”  
“okay,” you mumble, though the guilt still lingers.  
the week that follows is a blur. the initial frenzy around your slip-up starts to die down, but the topic still pops up in your community and on social media. jule keeps things normal between you two, never bringing it up unless you do, which helps ease some of your worry. 
still, you can’t shake the feeling that you let her down.  
then, one afternoon, your phone buzzes with a notification from jule’s instagram story. curious, you open it, and your heart skips a beat.  
there, on her story, is a picture of you two from a few weeks ago. 
(pretend this is jule and you of course)
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your jaw drops as you stare at the post, reading and rereading the words.  
quickly calling jule, your voice a mix of shock and amusement. 
“you really just hard-launched us like that?”  
“well, people already knew, didn’t they?” she teases. 
“might as well...”  
the taller blond gets cut off as you laugh, the sound finally free of the guilt that’s been weighing you down all week. 
“you’re amazing, you know that?”  
“i do,” she says, her tone playful. 
“and so are you. now, can we move on from this?”  
“yeah,” you say, and this time, you mean it.  
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808airsoftbros · 2 days ago
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Christmas Wish (Female Idols)
Author: Merry Christmas everyone, here is my special holidays oneshot. I may or may not write a New Year's special sequel as I did plan to write a smut into this but I didn't have the time and energy spent on the Holiday mayhem. Anyway, hope you enjoy and if you want to check out more stories go to Masterlist.
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Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child Holy Infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night Shepherds quake at the sight Glories stream from heaven afar Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia Christ the Savior is born Christ the Savior is born
Silent night, holy night Son of God, love's pure light Radiant beams from Thy holy face With the dawn of redeeming grace Jesus Lord, at Thy birth Jesus Lord, at Thy birth
Y/N's POV
It was another night of singing Christmas carols in my local church theatre, just like every year on the holidays. Despite the years that had passed, everyone showed up in droves, and family and friends came together.
Some are apart for most of the year for study or work, and seeing them come together again as a union once more makes me envy them.
My whole life I grew up as an orphan, I don't even know what my family looks like or what it's even like to have one. I was unwanted, cast aside, and not even worth a penny in this society.
Then why do I sing these stupid Christmas carols? I don't even know myself... Maybe because it's all I know because there's nowhere to go? Perhaps.
But the real reason doesn't matter much now, does it? No, not really. I don't even know the meaning of life, and I have no idea of my purpose.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you all for taking the time to come to this wonderful Christmas chorale this evening! It was such a pleasure to always host this yearly tradition in this glamorous town! And it's such a wonderful feeling seeing all of you reunited with family and friends you may not have seen in years, now, please give a warm applause to our singers!" The host spoke to the crowd and they all cheered as they clapped the sounds echoing in the church.
As we all dispersed from our group, I didn't even bother staying for the after-party as nobody cared about me and wouldn't notice I was gone. I knew I was simply a meaningless character in the background of everyone's story.
Once I walked inside the comfort of my apartment I sighed as I closed the door, I sat down on the couch cracking open a bottle of apple soju from the fridge just dazing in my thoughts.
"Silent night~. Holy night~. Yeah, shut the fuck up..." I said to myself as that stupid chorale was stuck playing in my head as if the Universe was mocking me.
Why does my life fucking suck? I don't know and I don't even care at this point... Because what's the point in life anymore?
Everyone has a purpose in life, whether to be working, being a celebrity for everyone to admire and fan over, or whatever that may be. But here I am slouching in my apartment like a waste of space in this world.
What is my damn purpose here? To be a pathetic joke and stain on society? Wow, what a way to start my life and this will likely stay that way forever.
Looking at the clock, I sighed deeply as it was nearly time for me to go to work, I slipped on my shopkeeper's uniform before heading into the store to relieve my co-worker who was wrapping up his shift for the day.
"Ah, Merry Christmas, Y/N, right on time as usual," He greeted and I nodded.
"Busy today?" I asked and he nodded.
"Yup, the store's been packed with tourists all day, but tonight should be slow since nobody is out at night so it should be a pretty slow and chill shift for you," He sighed as he grabbed his things.
I watched as my co-worker walked out of the store and into the winter snow as the sun was slowly starting to set down and darkness slowly began taking over the city.
Settling down on the stand, I placed in headphones listening to chill music to pass the time as I stared at the empty store, even though this was going to be boring as hell it was free money for me and I pretty much had the run of the store.
I did ring out a few late-night customers that I see every night buying beer and smokes along with snacks but other than that the streets are empty.
"That would be all tonight for you miss?" I asked politely and the customer nodded.
"Yes please," She replied as I rang up her items.
Just as I was about to finish up the transaction I heard the doorbell ringing, glancing to see who was entering, it was a woman wearing a black mask and a black winter coat wearing high heels with black stockings.
This made me raise an eyebrow as I had never seen the woman around here before, I thanked the lady for shopping there as I handed her the bag of her stuff, and I silently watched the strange woman as the lady walked out of the store.
I sighed leaning back on the chair as I quietly watched the woman browse the snack and beer section with a hint of curiosity but I kept it subtle so as not to create an awkward situation.
About maybe five minutes later, she grabbed some snacks along with the most expensive wine available which is a bit surprising as nobody has ever purchased it as long as I worked here.
"Hello, miss, will this be all tonight?" I asked in that same professional and polite tone.
The lady didn't reply but just nodded and I shrugged as I assumed she wasn't a talker, I ringed up her snacks but when I rang up the wine the POS locked me out requiring me to enter a date of birth.
"Can I see your ID real quick?" I asked politely and she seemed hesitant.
"Sorry miss, but if you don't show me your ID, I cannot sell you this," I informed her and she sighed as she pulled out her wallet before showing me her ID card.
Reading the date of birth the expiration date along with the authenticity, everything seemed to check out as she was above the age of 18 but the issue was her face as she was wearing the mask.
"Again, I'm sorry, but could pull down your mask? I need to see if the picture on your ID matches yours," I instructed and she seemed a bit irritated.
"Come on, I'm over 18, and I got places to be," She complained and I sighed as it seemed she was another difficult customer.
"I deeply apologize ma'am, but this is the law we're talking about here and I unfortunately don't make the rules here. Either show your face or you'll have to leave the wine behind," I explained to her and she huffed still refusing.
Just as I was about to take the wine off, I heard the doorbell ringing and another lavish woman walked in looking confused.
"Yah, Chewie, what's taking so long?" She asked her.
"Well, this idiot here thinks my ID isn't mine," The woman nicknamed Chewie answered and she sighed.
"Probably because we're wearing masks. Just do it, Chewie, before we're late, and besides, nobody else is here at this hour," the strange lady pointed out, and Chewie rolled her eyes.
Reluctantly, the woman pulled down her mask and picture on the ID, and her face checked out, allowing the transaction to finish up and me to not have to put up with her rich, snotty attitude.
"I'm sorry about that, sir. She doesn't get along with strangers well," the lady apologized on her behalf.
"No worries, it's part of the job," I assured and the lady sighed in relief seeing I wasn't too angry about the petty issue.
As they grabbed the bag of items, I watched them leave making me sigh in relief as I could get back to my other duties. I have dealt with many stupid customers in the past but this was a first, having some rich snot thinking they're above everyone else and the law.
I shrugged it off as I went to cook up some fresh hot dogs for the hot food stock along with pretzels stuffing the pre-made dough in the oven.
After I finished restocking the store, I wiped down the counter when I heard the doorbell ringing again and I looked up to see a couple of women wearing the same masks as the previous two did but their clothing was more casual this time instead of the lavish designer clothes.
Naturally, I kept my guard up and ready for their nonsensical rich crap as I wiped down the counter until the two women walked up to me holding a couple of cases of soju.
"Good evening, ladies, will this be all today?" I asked politely.
"Yup, that will be all, do you need to see our IDs?" One of them asked and I was a bit surprised.
"Uhm, yes, please," I answered they showed their IDs without a fuss and pulled down masks proving the pictures matched.
"Aight, your ladies check out," I informed them.
"By any chance, did our little friend Chewie give you any trouble tonight?" Haseul asked kindly and I raised an eyebrow.
"Who again?" I asked a bit confused.
"You know, the tall Taiwanese woman that just walked in here," Heejin chimed in and I chuckled.
"Eh, somewhat, nagging about pulling down her mask," I answered but also kept it professional and they giggled.
"Yeah, she's like that, that's why we don't often take her out much because she always causes trouble and we can't have news reporting scandals about her, can we?" Haseul mentioned as she inserted her credit card into the pin pad.
"What do you mean?" I asked and they seemed surprised by my question.
Haseul and Heejin looked at each other for a moment, somehow assuming that I might've heard about them like they were some sort of celebrities. Or perhaps they are and I live under a rock.
"N-Nevermind, how much do I owe?" Haseul asked giving a nervous smile and I told her the amount due.
Once the transaction was complete I handed over the receipt and they left without saying another word. I grabbed the cleaning cloth when I noticed Haseul had left her phone on my counter.
I grabbed the phone and rushed out of the store but by the time I got out, I watched them start their car and drive away and I sighed as I went back into the store seeing no point in chasing after them.
Getting back behind the counter trying to figure out what to do next, after thinking for some time I got an idea, I grabbed a paperclip in the drawer and bent it out to make a needle.
I take the phone out of its case carefully making sure I don't damage or scratch anything, I find the hole on the side and insert the needle popping out the SIM card slot.
"Bingo," I muttered holding the SIM card.
Seeing there were no customers around and the store was neat and tightly for now, I had plenty of spare time to kill as I took out my laptop plugged the SIM card into the slot, and used software to decode the information and find her phone number.
When I finished getting the necessary information, I managed to write down her number before sending her a text informing her that she had left her phone at my store.
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I placed my phone down feeling rather odd at how she easily trusted me despite being a stranger to her, I guess she must be that busy and desperate to trust me that much.
Welp, there's nothing much more I can do about it unfortunately and I can only wait until my shift is over so I can turn her phone over.
Looking up the address on Google, it luckily wasn't too far away and within walking distance, but it's also impressive that they are located in the most expensive hotel in the city which shouldn't be all that surprising.
When I finally finished my shift, I made my way to the hotel but as I was walking I just wondered why Haseul didn't ask how I got her number in the first place. Strange now I think about it...
Whatever, the least I can do now is return her phone and get out of their hair for good, and it's not like they'll drag me into their hotel room and make me their pet, right? Some sort of delusional Christmas wish.
Anyway, I finally made my way through the hotel lobby after getting the number of their room, I hopped onto the elevator to the top floor, making my way through the corridor filled with pots of plants and statues.
Walking past the various rooms, I managed to find the right one, I took a breath before hitting the doorbell button.
"Who could that be?!" I heard a female voice ask loudly.
"I hope it's not a saesang! Let me check!"
Hearing footsteps coming upon the door, assuming the person was looking through the peephole, the door opened soon after.
"Can I help you?" A squirrel-looking Japanese woman asked and I held up Haseul's phone.
"I came to return Haseul's phone, I believe this belongs to her," I informed her handing over the phone to her.
"Oh, why thank you but how did you find it?" The woman asked cautiously.
"Haseul texted me to come here, I used the SIM card to track her number... I hope that doesn't sound too creepy, I didn't know what else to do," I explained nervously hoping that they don't call the cops on me.
The woman looked at me checking me out and making sure I wasn't some creepy stalker or hacker coming to steal her information or something.
Soon after, she called Haseul over and she came over soon after sighing in relief that I arrived before handing back her phone.
"Oh, thank you so much! You're a real lifesaver!" Haseul thanked me profusely.
"Yeah, it's no problem, Noona, Merry Christmas," I replied and was about to walk away.
"Hold it!"
I froze in place, slowly turning around to see what they wanted, my stomach hung in balance as I could only imagine the worst about to come.
"You really thought we'd let you leave without thanking you properly~?" Haseul asked with a warm smile and I raised an eyebrow.
"Uhh... What?" I asked.
"What she's saying is that we want you to stay for the party, if you're free of course," Nayeon chimed in and my eyes widened.
Well, I'll fucking be...
"Uh... yeah, I am," I confessed nervously and Nayeon came forward taking my arm and dragging me into their room almost seeming the ridiculous Christmas wish was coming true after all... At least most of it.
As Nayeon got me inside the room, the squirrel woman closed the door behind us, I was taken into the living room where I was astonished to see it was all girls.
"Oh, Haseul, is that Y/N? The one you kept talking about?" A Thomas-looking woman asked and Haseul nodded.
"Well, he is cute,"
"Is he staying for the party?"
"Ugh, why is he here?"
"Yah! Chewie, be nice to our guest for once!"
"Hmph!"
As the Japanese woman introduced herself, Sana seated me on the couch next to her, keeping her arm locked around mine. The girls just chuckled amusingly, seeing how clingy she was around me.
"Yah, miss flirt, you might give the guy a nosebleed if you keep holding him like that?" Jeongyeon pointed out at Sana pressing her boobs on my arm and she giggled only putting more pressure.
"So what if I do? I do enjoy pampering... Especially young men," She replied with a sultry tone as she caressed my chest making me gulp.
"Oh, God, Unnie, you always are a creep. You know that?" Tzuyu rolled her eyes, but Sana took no notice.
"Don't worry about them sweetheart, I have a surprise Christmas present waiting in the bedroom... If you know what I mean~," She giggled in a flirty way and I swore I felt my nose was about to bleed any second.
Soon after, the sassy idol Chaewon approached me, wrapping an arm around mine and forcing me away from her, but Sana brought me back.
"Yah! I saw him first!" Sana bickered.
"No! I won't let you corrupt him! Especially on the Holidays!" Chaewon replied as she continued tugging at me.
"Yah! Girls enough already!" JiU butted in breaking them and sighing in relief as I felt I was gonna get split into two.
"Look, girls, like Chaewon said, it's the Holiday season, and Christmas is around the corner. How about we all just enjoy each other's company while it lasts? We've all had a busy year, and we certainly don't need to add more problems right now, so how about we move on and enjoy ourselves?" Jihyo proposed, and the girls agreed.
"Does that mean I go home?" I asked raising my hand and the girls all shook their heads.
"No!" They all said in unison and I sighed.
When the party was done being set up for tonight, the girls went out shopping, of course, I was dragged along against my will with Gaeul, Handong, Sana, and Chaewon.
We all split into multiple groups, and I stayed with the four girls, who kept me in place and took me around the massive mall full of toy shops, gaming surplus, and much more as the girls shopped for clothes.
"First off, my dear, let's upgrade that Dinosaur of a phone," Handong pointed out.
"But it's the iPhone 4..." I mentioned and Gaeul facepalmed making me confused as this is the latest phone... At least that's what I thought.
"Pabo! Were you living under a rock? Come, let us show you the magic of modern technology," Chaewon said, taking my hand and leading me into the Apple store.
Looking around, I marveled at the accessories for Airpods, Beats, and iPads, and I was surprised to see the new iPhone lineup. I was living under a rock, being so busy with work and staying at my apartment most of the time.
One of the staff members approached, asking if they needed assistance. The girls asked the guy for the most expensive iPhone they had, and he took us over to the iPhone 16 Pro Max, which made my jaw drop as it was a whopping $1,599, the initial price for 1 TB.
Of course, being idols this was nothing to them as they paid for the new phone and soon set me up with the new model.
"Jeez, I know I returned your phone but this is quite a bit much," I commented checking out my new phone.
"No worries, dear, this will not even be close to denting our bank accounts compared to the rest of the shopping trip," Sana giggled.
"So best prepare yourself to be spoiled all day," Chaewon said, and I sighed as I was dragged along with them.
The entire day was spent just the girls buying shit for me like luxury brands like Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and even Lego sets that I've wanted. All of this would've made me broke but I guarantee none of these expenses wasn't even close to making dents to their accounts.
"Come on, Y/N, we still got more shops to look at! I gotta get Christmas gifts for my family!" Chaewon said in a demanding tone as she held my hand.
"Oh, yeah, that reminds me I need to find something for my siblings," Sana remembered as she looked around the stores.
"Same, I gotta find gifts for my parents," Handong mentioned.
"I also have to find a gift for my Oppa and parents," Gaeul chimed as she looked around the stores to see if there were gifts they might like.
Following the girls around various stores, it felt like forever as the girls searched the clothing stores and jewelry shops until they finally settled on the perfect presents.
"Ah, this is perfect! My Eomma is gonna love this!" Sana said in a satisfied manner as she inspected the custom butterfly necklace that was laced with diamonds.
"Wow, that is so pretty, Unnie!" Gaeul agreed.
Wrapping up the Christmas mall shopping, we all reunited holding multiple shopping bags but I saw Jihyo holding the most compared to me.
"You gonna lend a girl a hand~?" Jihyo playfully asked and I looked down seeing my hands were full as it is.
"Kidding, Y/N, I see you're hands look like they're about to fall off and I've handled more bags than this, especially when the girls go out shopping in many places around the world," Jihyo chuckled.
We walked to the two vans we took to drive here placing all the bags into the trunks before I joined Gaeul and the three girls in one of the vans.
"You look tired, my dear, you can lay your head on my shoulder or lap if you want~," Sana offered wrapping an arm around my waist.
"Yah! No, listen to that old hag! My body is more comfy!" Gaeul rebutted and they bickered making me groan as I leaned against the headrest enduring the noisy girls the entire ride.
Once we finally made it back to the hotel, we carried the shopping bags inside the room making sigh in relief as the bags were heavy as hell.
The girls were starving, of course, JiU, Haseul, and Jihyo agreed to order room service making lots of orders as the girls wrote down what they wanted.
"So what do you want, my dear, Y/N~?" Heejin asked handing over the paper and pen.
"Uhm, not sure if I want... Hehe," I politely declined and she pouted.
"Oh, come on, Y/N, it's on us and we did promise to spoil you~," Heejin insisted and I sighed as I couldn't resist that adorable pout.
Writing down what I wanted the girls chimed in money to pay for the food before making the order on the phone, Choerry and Liz sat next to me hugging me from both sides.
"So how do you think of the party so far~?" Choerry playfully asked.
"It's something... Though I never expected to be here for simply returning a phone," I nervously answered and they giggled.
"I know, kinda reminds you of one of those Wattpad fanfictions, huh?" Liz asked and I found it funny now I think about it.
"And would you know that, Liz?" Leeseo asked raising an eyebrow and Liz blushed almost sheepishly admitting she had been reading fan fiction.
"Oh, no worries, Liz! I think we all have read some of them at one point, I do find them interesting and some are quite ho-" SuA was about to say but Yves quickly covered her mouth.
"Hey! We have babies here!" Yves shushed her as she pointed at Leeseo and Eunchae.
"But I'm an adult now, right~?" Eunchae teasingly mentioned.
"Doesn't matter! You are still a baby!" Yves refuted and Eunchae pouted.
Just as I thought Liz and Choerry were enough, I found Yeojin sitting on my lap and curling up to me. She hugged me and nuzzled her face into my neck, which I found oddly cute.
"Yah! Yeojin! I want a turn!" Eunchae demanded but Yeojin stuck out her tongue in a mockery manner making the girls roll their eyes playfully watching the Maknaes fighting over my attention.
Well, my friends, I guess the lesson here is that you should expect the unexpected, especially during the Holiday season. Here I am, a background character being the main protagonist in this new world.
What do I expect next? I don't know, but I do know that I am not going anywhere with them all over me. Merry Christmas.
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mingoooossii · 1 day ago
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ATEEZ comforting you after you have a rough week.
Ot8 x reader
Warnings: hurt/comfort, lots of hugs, reader is overwhelmed in most of these, mentions of exams(scary ik), kinda corny tbh, also not proofread so there might be some mistakes.
A/n: i used most of my braincells 4 this 🫠 yea also this purely depended upon my mood so that's why some of them are just thoughts while the others are full blown conversations. will most likely rewrite this is in the future I think. Also I'm planning on opening taglists so if you want to be included just lmk!! (for ateez or any other group)
Words: 3.1k
Requested ♡ Ateez masterlist.
"When you feel like you're nowhere, Let it go 'cause I'll be there for you..."
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⋆˚࿔ Hongjoong
• whenever things get a little too much, you'd usually suck it up
• it wasn't healthy, you know that yet you couldn't afford to fall back now so you did it anyway
• him, who's very sensitive to your every little changes in mood, of course, noticed it too
• you tend to sort of shut down whenever you get overwhelmed, causing you to get moody and quiet, often leading to minor arguments with him
• but he understands (being prone to overworking himself, he was never too fond of the after effects)
• but that doesn't mean he's not going to do anything about it
• ”you're taking a break.” “But I need to finish this-”
• he cut you off by closing your book, making sure to bookmark it before picking you up from the chair
• ”have you looked at yourself yet? you're about to collapse.”
• you fell silent at that, letting him carry you over to the bed, feeling your irritation dissolve at the stern tone, yet you could pick up on the hint of worry.
• ”but I need to finish it, or else I won't catch up on my work. I'm already behind in-”
• your worried ramblings was silenced by his lips pressing against yours for a brief moment
• ”i vaguely remember someone pulling me out of my studio, by my ear, when I was overworking myself.”
• he muttered, sitting beside you once he put you down on the bed, his hand reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear
• ”you should listen to your own advice, you know?”
• you could feel the tears pricking your eyes at his words, making you feel helpless and frustrated
• ”there's just…so much. i don't know if I'll ever finish it…what am I gonna do?”
• you mumbled, your lips trembling as you tried to bite back your sobs
• his expression softened at your words, pulling you into his embrace, stroking your hair
• ”i know. but exhausting yourself is only going to make it harder for you to catch up.”
• ”let's take a break, okay? you need to rest, let your mind calm down first.”
• you felt him pull away from you, his hand wiping your tears away
• ”how about we go for a walk outside? some fresh air would help, i think.”
• you thought for a bit before nodding. you definitely wouldn't be able to get anything done while you were in this state.
• he finally let a small smile break free, standing up, moving to get your shoes for you
“An ice cream could help too, i've heard. and there's a parlour that just opened up, down the street. i think it's fate.”
⋆˚࿔ Seonghwa
• "are you okay?"
• he asked softly, worry lacing his tone as he watched your sullen figure drop down onto the couch.
• "I'm okay."
• your curt response came out as if it was clockwork, removing your bag before burying your face into the comforter
• you obviously weren't. Well, it'd been like that for a while now
• he sighed before coming over to you on the couch. He knelt down and reached out to take off your shoes which you forgot to
• you tried to sit up, suddenly feeling guilty
• "i got it...-" "Let me."
• you paused before laying back down, feeling a bit nervous at his tone of voice. Was he mad?
• "I'm sorry... it's just lately everything's been going downhill..."
• you mumbled, tears pricking your eyes as you let your emotions of the past week finally weigh you down
• "i c-can't seem to do anything right and...i can't muster up energy for anything...i.."
• you sniffled, waiting for a response. He didn’t reply, instead placing your shoes neatly to the side before standing up and sitting down next to you on the couch.
• "Hwa..."
• a tear rolled down your face as he wrapped his arms around you, resting your head beneath his chin.
• it was incredible how the warmth of his embrace contrasted the gloominess you've been feeling all week.
• "I'm not mad. Why would I be?"
• he spoke quietly, his eyes shutting for a moment, his hand tracing patterns on your back
• "and you know... people don't always have to be okay..."
• "if that were the case then, i think we'd be superhumans..."
• you let out a laugh at his words, feeling your heart lighten slightly
• "i guess..."
• he smiled at the pleasant sound, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand moving to wipe your tears away.
• "so don't put yourself down, i won't let you."
• he whispered, his expression gentle yet firm before pulling you close again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
• "I'm still gonna worry though. Because I'm a human, a human who happened to be really really really in love with you."
• you chuckled, feeling exasperated yet so so light hearted
"Well, then...this human loves you too, a lot."
⋆˚࿔ Yunho.
• exams were coming up.
• and with exams came all nighters.
• you knew it wasn't healthy at all but your brain refused to listen to you, conjuring up various 'what ifs' each one, bleak.
• yes, exam seasons usually had you stressed.
• he knew it too.
• don't get him wrong, he knew you'd do well (with you being one of the most hardworking people he knows, there was no doubt about that)
• but he knew you couldn't help it. Despite all the assurances, a small part of you always doubted if your efforts were enough
• and he was worried. Of course, he was but he couldn't push you to take breaks even when he knew you needed it
• because he thought it'd be better to be distant than to have you completely shut him out
• but he wasn't sure anymore.
• even more so when he came upon you staring down at your books with teary eyes. You couldn't take it anymore.
• "I'm just so tired"
• you sobbed, burying your face into his chest. He had carried you to the bed from your desk, despite your protests but now you were glad that he did.
• "i know, love."
• he whispered, his hand rubbing your back soothingly, his heart clenching at the sound of your sobs. How could he have let it get this bad?
• but one thing was sure, he wasn't about to let you go through this alone.
• "Take a break, hm?" "But i...-"
• "No buts."
• he replied firmly, his expression showing his worry
• "Baby, it's admirable, it really is...you work so hard and I'm so proud of you..."
• "but I'm worried."
• he mumbled, his voice soft and low, tightening his hold on you
• your words faltered as you sensed the genuine concern in his voice, a twinge of guilt washing over you.
• "You always seem so tired and i...i can't help but feel frustrated for not being able to do anything..."
• his tone was soft, holding you close as if he feared losing you.
• "i don't want anything to happen to you..."
• you heart clenched at the tone of fear in his voice. you felt him lean back, taking your face into his hands carefully
• ”no matter how important it is, pushing yourself beyond the point of breaking will never do you any good.”
•he whispered, his voice quiet as he stroked your face gently
•you stayed silent for a moment, his words going through your mind. you could feel the toll these last few days had on your body. crashing out wouldn't be far at this point.
•so you nodded, reluctantly agreeing, not wanting to worry him any longer and also because you knew you needed this.
•he smiled, seeing you agree (although reluctant) relief coursing through him finally.
“Good. Now, how about some tea? I'll…let you get back to it after a break and this time, I'll help you.”
⋆˚࿔ Yeosang.
• something was wrong.
• he wasn't used to seeing you so...pensive.
• that slight slumping of your shoulders, the way you zone out mid-convos and the quiet sighs that escapes you whenever you think no one's looking
• no, he definitely noticed. It was so unlike you and...he wasn't sure how to react.
• would you be mad if he were to bring this up?
• or would you pretend like there was
nothing wrong?
• he knows that you value your independence very much, often preferring to deal with things on your own
• he respects that and doesn't push in anyway, not wanting to make you uncomfortable
• but he'd also feel a bit guilty (thought it was never his fault) feeling like he was failing as a boyfriend for just watching from the sidelines while you struggled
• though initially, he'd be a bit hesitant and cautious when approaching the matter
• he wouldn't directly confront you but lets you know that he's there for you
• "I'm here, if you want to talk."
• he'll also try to distract you with other activities, whether if it's like a walk in the park or a simply game
• he'll try his best to keep the atmosphere quiet and positive so you'll be able to relax your mind even if it's just a little
• and when you finally open up to him, he listens.
• he doesn't really respond in between and just lets you rant while listening intently
• and you know he is from the way his hand gently squeezes yours in assurance whenever you come to a pause, letting you know that whatever you were feeling was valid
• he isn't that big on physical affection but won't hesitate to shower you in it if you were to ask
• he's just a green flag over all
"I'll be here if you need me. I'll always be here."
⋆˚࿔ San.
• "come here."
• you hesitantly glanced at him before immediately looking away once you met his eyes. How does he know you so well?
• "choi y/n, come. here."
• he repeated, his tone a bit more firm now, spreading his arms wide and looking at you expectantly
• "what's with the choi?"
• you sighed, half-laughing, but you walked towards him, your emotions bubbling up again.
• "you own my heart, so you might as well take my last name too."
• he said softly with a small smile as you finally stepped into his arms.
• "seriously..."
• you mumbled, your voice breaking towards the end as you pressed your face into his chest, tears starting to flow again
• "there we go..."
• he guided you to the couch before sitting beside you. He wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you into him and gently ran his fingers through your hair, whispering.
• "you did a good job, hm? I'm so proud of you."
• "it doesn't feel like that though..."
• you laughed. his words, though comforting, stung a bit, reminding you of your failures yet again
• he frowned, picking upon on the hint of self depreciation in your tone
• "how dare you say that about the love of my life? Do you have any idea how much they mean to me?"
• he spoke, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand reaching up to pinch your cheeks
• "what're you on about?"
• you chuckled, avoiding his hand, not knowing whether to be amused or exasperated at his sudden burst out
• "I'm serious, my love's the best, the smartest, the kindest, the most hardworking, the prettiest...the list goes on..."
• he continued, his voice firm as he made you face him, wiping your tears away
• "but you know what i like the most about them?"
• he asked, his expression softening considerably
• "they never give up. no matter how hard it gets, no matter what anyone else says, they never give up, because they know that they can get through it..."
• he stroked your face, his eyes never leaving yours, the genuineness in them halting your breath for a moment
• "I know you can..."
• you felt your heart tighten at his words, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you. You hugged him again, tears forming again.
• "why do you always have to be so nice? I hate you..."
• you sobbed, though there was no real heat behind your words
• he chuckled, rubbing your back soothingly
"It's okay, in return, I have lots of love to give you..."
⋆˚࿔ Mingi.
• he knew that things have been rough for you lately
• while he was worried, he wasn't sure to how to bring it up without making you feel even worse
• so he had hoped you'd come to him first
• though nothing prepared him for the sight of you sobbing into your hands infront of him, when you did
• initially he was at a loss as to what to do (it's that T in him)
• but he could feel his heart breaking as he watched you desperately trying to wipe your tears away which seemed to be flowing endlessly at that moment
• instantly he pulled you into his embrace, his arms wrapping around you so tightly like he wanted to shield you from whatever that was hurting you
• "I'm sorry..."
• you weren't sure what he was apologising for and neither was he
• though he wasn't good with words in this situation, he was there for you
• and he hoped you'd know it too
"don't hold back your tears, just let it all out. I'm here."
⋆˚࿔ Wooyoung
• he’s been walking on eggshells the entire week and he wasn't sure how long he could he take it
• your obvious avoidance of him, the curt texts, (hell, he'd prefer it more if you argued with him than this) it was all getting ridiculous
• so, what was the next step? obviously, confronting you.
• though it wasn't going like how he expected it to go.
• ”I'm sorry, i thought it'd be better to avoid you than to let you get affected too”
• you mumbled, your voice a bit hoarse as you brought your blanket covering you, closer
• your face was red, a sheen of sweat covering your forehead as you supported yourself on the wall.
• these past few weeks had taken a toll on you, worse than you thought and before you knew it, you had a fever.
• ”Affect me-...are you serious?”
• he spoke before he could stop himself. really? that's what you've been worried about?
• “I've been worried sick! you think I'd care about some damn germs?”
• you fell silent, feeling a bit guilty now.
• he huffed as if he was in disbelief. he wanted to say more but paused, his eyes falling on your pale face
• he sighed before stepping in, his hands reaching for your face.
• “you're burning up…”
• he muttered, worry lacing his tone as he supported you, making sure to close the door before leading you to your living room, sitting you down on the couch
• you sniffled, rubbing your nose as you watched him bustle around your apartment
• it was weird, seeing him so serious like this, different from his usual playful self
• and it only made you more guilty for worrying him
• ”I'm sorry…”
• he paused, hearing your words, his movements slowing down as he closed the door to your shelf after retrieving the medicine
• “you know? these past few days, I was wondering whether I did something. I couldn't figure it out.”
• he spoke up, returning to the couch, kneeling infront of you, placing a hand on your lap
• “besides, what if you were in your death bed? of course i need to be here.”
• he added, a small smirk forming on his face
• “Hey!”
• you countered, your eyes wide, hitting his shoulder making him laugh out a small ‘sorry!’, lightening the mood slightly
• “no but seriously, you should've told me you were sick. i would've came running.”
• “you always take care of me when I'm sick. I want to do the same…”
• he muttered, his playfulness dissolving into softness, his hand squeezing yours gently
• you felt your heart melt at his words, warmth coursing through you, the pleasant kind this time.
• “Alright then, can you…make me your special chicken soup?”
• you asked, a hopeful glint in your eyes. you’ve been craving it actually.
• his smile returned even more brightly as he stood up, turning to make his way to your kitchen
“I'll make you the damn best chicken soup you're gonna ever have! You won't even need medicine cause it's gonna heal you up right away.”
⋆˚࿔ Jongho
• he knew you were having a rough week
• considering how moody you've seemed lately and you also didn't talk much
• and you were usually the 'affectionate' one in your relationship so the lack of it made him pause
• he was concerned, obviously, but didn't voice it directly or push you to open up
• he trusted that you'd come to him if there was something
• however, it seems like you finally reached your breaking point
• he regretted not talking to you sooner when he came home to you crying one day
• he immediately engulfs you into his embrace.
• you seemed a bit surprised to see him, not expecting him to come back so early
• and you felt bad to burden him with your emotions, surely he had a lot on his plate as well-
• "stupid, you should be worrying about yourself."
• he mumbled, his voice annoyed yet... concerned, pulling you closer when you tried to move away.
• he won't respond with words when you start to pour your worries out
• but you know he's listening with the gentle but assuring squeezes he gave your hand whenever you come to a pause
• well, it wasn't like he really had to talk when his embrace spoke volumes more than any words ever could.
“Don't feel bad for feeling bad, you don't always have to be okay, it's completely normal.”
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widebrimmedhatsblog · 2 days ago
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I wish you would write a fic where Xaden accidently confesses his love to Violet in a casual conversation
Sure, anon! Have a 1k fic!
(some housekeeping: I don't know what "casual conversation" means, and I wrote this on my phone at midnight, so any typos...you don't see them. Set during the latter half of Fourth Wing, post sex scene #1. I don't actually know what else you're supposed to put with fics on tumblr, but!! here she is! Full fic below the cut)
When Xaden Riorson knocks on your door and tells you he’s taking somewhere, you listen. 
At least, Violet listens. She looks at it like doing a favor to the wing: no one likes a grumpy wingleader, and by hanging out with him while he gets tipsy in Chantarra, she’s avoiding just that perilous situation. 
He’s definitely not grumpy now. Not as he sits, whiskey in hand, eyes on Violet’s throwing stance. Not earlier, either, as he’d covered her in his cloak and coaxed her down Basgiath’s halls. It wasn’t even a Chantarra weekend for the upperclassmen who were allowed to go. Violet had zero reason to be here, in this Chantarra pub with Xaden Riorson. Xaden had his own reasons, but he was keeping them close to his chest, like everything else. 
She cocks her hand back, then throws the dart at the board. A perfect bullseye, nestled between her four other throws. 
She appraises her own work with a smile, though she takes care to keep it slight. She doesn’t need to get braggy now. Still, her cheeks are already pink, and they only grow more so when she hears slow clapping coming from Xaden’s seat at the closest table. 
“Excellent work, Violence,” he tells her, somehow sounding smug on her behalf. Under his breath, he continues, “Excellent.” 
He swirls his whiskey. The amber catches the low pub light. Violet’s eyes track his hands as they stretch around the glass, the veins shifting while he raises it to his lips, the bobbing of his throat that signifies his swallow. 
His glass clanks against the table. It’s rickety and sticky and she can’t believe he’s sitting there. The cheap wood doesn’t look right with him beside it. 
“Go on,” he says. “Give me another show.” 
She scoffs, but even as she does so, her feet march towards the board. 
“You’re ridiculous,” she insists, plucking her darts free. “It’s now a show for you.” 
She spins on her heel and backs up from the board once more. Doing so means she catches a glimpse of Xaden’s face, the upturn of his lips. 
“Can’t I enjoy myself?” 
His voice is rich. He doesn’t slur his words, but something in their quality makes it clear to Violet that the alcohol is making him be more honest, even if only slightly. 
She averts her eyes to the board. Heart racing, she throws her first dart. Just shy of a bullseye. 
“This can’t be your idea of an enjoyable night, Riorson.” 
He shuffles in his seat. She shouldn’t look at him—she should keep her eyes glued to the board. She should perfectly plot her next throw. 
She finds him staring at her, brows raised. He’d been awaiting her attention. 
“Can’t I?” 
She scoffs, refocusing on the board. Her next throw is better, but she’s still setting herself up to encircle the bullseye instead of truly hitting it. 
“You can do whatever you want.” Another throw, this one closer. “I just didn’t think you’d like to sit around and watch me play darts.”
Her next throw is her best. With every second, she gets better. Closer. Her heart has not calmed even a fraction.
“If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have invited you.” He drums his fingers on the table Slowly, her eyes seek out the source of the sound, but Xaden makes a tsk-sound. “Finish your game, Violence. Let me see what you can do.” 
Her cheeks feel flushed beyond pink, and she hadn’t even had a sip to drink tonight. Xaden had offered—egregiously and at length—but she didn’t have a cent to her name, and she didn’t want to give the barkeep a good look at her hair. 
She throws her final two darts without further commentary. Finally, she gets her bullseye. 
She expects to hear Xaden’s voice. If not his voice, his applause, his raucous, ridiculous encouragement. But he’s silent, and because of that silence, she’s forced to look at him. 
He’s grinning, grinning at her. 
Her heart begins to seize in her chest. She feels it thrashing against her breast bone—it’s the only part of her that moves, that reacts in any discernible way. The rest of her is frozen.
Has she ever seen him grin? 
And suddenly, to top it all off, a chuckle slips through his lips. Her jaw drops, and he shakes his head, just as baffled as she is, but he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop laughing, and he doesn’t stop grinning. 
“What?” she demands “What is it?” 
“Nothing, Violence,” he insists, but she can hear the laughter in his voice, and the evidence is irrefutable. It can’t have been nothing. Not even close. “Go again. Let me watch.” 
She doesn’t go again. She approaches him, head held high, and orders him, “Tell me now.” 
His lips twist, but they stay upturned. She wants to glue her eyes to them, if not her own lips. She still remembers the searing burn of his kiss, how delicious that heat had been 
“I don’t think so, Violence.” He looks around at the pub behind her, the few patrons that line the stools. “Not really the time.” 
Fine, Violet thinks. She’ll make it the right time. 
She pulls out one of her knives from the sheaths at her ribs. A knife Xaden got her. Poetic justice, really. 
She slams it into the table, in the sliver of space between Xaden’s thumb and pointer finger. The blade sinks into the wood, splitting it. 
“You’ll tell me now.” 
Xaden only grins wider. His face practically glows with it, this foreign happiness. 
“You’re going to threaten me into telling you that I lo-”
His unfinished word hangs between them. Violet waits for those final two letters to come. She wants them out in the open so she can snatch at them, swallow them. 
He doesn’t give them to her. He stares at her face, lips parted. Xaden Riorson, who never makes a mistake. 
Of course, if he thinks that was a mistake, he’s completely and utterly wrong. 
Violet pounces on him. She bolsters herself with her dagger, but she doesn’t have to support herself for long. Her lips find Xaden’s and his arms find her waist, slotting her into the space between his legs. They kiss and kiss and kiss. She tastes his whiskey. He must taste her victory. 
When they part, it is only so that Violet can pant, “I am going to threaten you, actually.”  
She feels his laughter against her lips.
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fanfictiongirlie · 3 days ago
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Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Fourteen
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Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)
Description:
"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.
"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"
"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"
"Fuck" I whisper.
Rating: Explicit
Chapter Warnings: Swearing
Chapter Words: 1,364
Sorry for the long wait! I had a dental procedure, so I haven't felt like being on my pc. Enjoy! <3
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It was the day before Jamie's first birthday and I was in the Avengers common room decorating. Bucky watched me, leaning against the wall, his eyes watching my every move. He tried to help, but I told him off for doing it wrong too many times. I hung streamers and balloons everywhere, the room was full of colour. His arms were crossed and a look of amusement was over his face as he watched me. 
"Can't believe our girl is gonna be one" I mutter, knowing he could hear me still. Bucky lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. 
"Me neither, it feels like you were only just pregnant and now we have a one year old" He adds. 
"I know, it feels so sad, but so happy at the same" I say finishing up the last of the decorations. Bucky walks over to me, standing behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist, holding me close to him. He rests his chin on my shoulder. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second, feeling him, allowing myself a moment to breath and feel content for a moment in his arms. 
"Yeah, it's bittersweet, happy to see how much she's grown, sad that she's growing up fast" He mumbles, his words soft as he speaks. 
"I know, I love our girl" I add. I feel him hug me a little tighter, his chest pressed against my back, his body wrapping around mine protectively. 
"Our little girl, our Jamie" Bucky whispers. 
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
And then, it was the next day, the Avengers were in the common room with us, minus a few whom were on missions. And Jamie, was sat on the floor surrounded by way too many toys. She giggled happily playing with her new things. I bit my lip smiling widely. Bucky sat on the floor by Jamie, helping her play. I watched him fondly, his eyes shone with pride and fatherly love as he watched her. He glances my way, smiling widely at me. 
"Happy birthday sweet girl" I whisper to her as I stroke her hair softly. I watched as she grabbed another toy and turn to wave it in my face, excitement over her face. 
"Wow baby, that's so cool" I smiled to her. Jamie continued to grab toys and show me, a little giggle would leave her lips when I told her they were cool. 
"What one is your favourite?" I asked her, Jamie looked from me to her toys, she grabbed the little fuzzy bear plush she was gifted and held it close to her chest, cuddling it. 
"And who got you that baby?" I asked. Bucky smirked and reached to Jamie pulling her close to his chest "Dada got you that sweet girl" He grinned. 
"Yeah he did" I smirked, watching Bucky cuddle her close to him. 
"So when's the next baby due?" Sam asked, I looked over to him glaring slightly. Bucky choked on his breath slightly, his eyes widening in surprised, he looked over to me. 
"There isn't one, thank you very much" Bucky says. 
"And there won't be one" I add. Bucky looks grateful at my words, which made me feel better, we hadn't spoken about it, but I didn't want anymore. 
"Yeah, no plans for any more kids, Jamie's enough for us" Bucky says, smiling down at her. 
"And birth was traumatising, I never want to go through that again" I add, cringing at the memory. Bucky nods in agreement, the same cringing look over his face. He reaches to me, resting his hand on my leg, calming me down, I shake the memory from my head and smile down at him and Jamie. Sam luckily didn't answer us after that, he looked like a kid that had just been told off. 
Finally we sang to Jamie and had her birthday cake, Bucky and I helped her blow the candles out, since she had no clue what to do. We gave her a piece of the cake, it was the first time she had sugar so I was a little nervous, but she devoured it, making a huge mess of herself in the process. She had icing all over her face, her hands were sticky and there were cake crumbs everywhere. Bucky looked at me, a smile playing on his lips. 
"Seems like our girl likes cake" He chuckles. 
"She's so goofy" I giggle, taking a picture of her. Bucky grins, enjoying the sight of her covered in cake just as much as I was enjoying it. 
"She sure is....And messy, but it's her birthday, so it's allowed!" Bucky smiles fondly at Jamie. 
"Dibs not bathing her!" I call out, smiling widely at Bucky. He looks at me with a fake grumpy face. 
"Oh no doll, no way! You've got this one, I'll take diaper duty any day over bathing sticky sugar off her!" 
"I'll take that!" I grin, fisting the air, Bucky grins back his eyes full of amusement. 
"You sure about that? You know she's gonna splash, get water and bubbles everywhere?" He asks. 
"Yeah, but she's gotta poop that cake out, and now that's a you problem" I say smirking. Bucky groans, his expressing turning comically pained at the thought. 
"Oh god... I take it back! I'd rather deal with the war of bubbles than poopy diapers" He groans. 
"Too late!" I smile poking my tongue out. Bucky laughs and shakes his head in defeat. My eyes went back to Jamie, who was licking the icing off her arm. Everyone laughed, happy to see Jamie so happy and enjoying her birthday. Once the birthday excitement was over, I was in the bathroom with Jamie, she laid in her tiny bath inside the bath as I washed the cake from her brown hair. 
"So messy" I mutter, she giggles and squirms in the bath, splashing the water everywhere, she reached for one of her bath toys and splashed it against the water causing it to land on me. 
"Silly girl, I guess dada was right, wasn't he?" I said fondly to her. She splashes me again, Bucky then appears in the doorway, leaning against the doorway, watching the two of us with a smile. 
"I told you, messiest baby ever" He grins. 
"Don't listen to dada" I say to Jamie as I pour more water over her hair. Bucky feigns hurt, his hand pressing against his chest as he pretends to be wounded. I giggled softly looking at him, our eyes meeting, playfulness in both sets. 
"Dada" A little voice just spoke, I looked to Jamie, my eyes wide. Bucky moved from the door to crouch next to me, we both looked at Jamie, shock in our eyes, smiles on our lips. 
"Did she just... Doll, did she just say dada?" Bucky asks, his voice higher than usual.
"She did...Jamie, say it again" I said, stroking the baby's cheek softly. "Say dada"
"Dada!" She giggled saying it again, obviously enjoying the attention she was getting from both me and Bucky. Bucky held his hand to his chest, his mouth open in shock. He looked like he might cry. 
"Oh Bucks, her first word" I say, tears burning my eyes. Bucky's eyes grew misty, his voice a little choked with emotion.
"Yeah doll, her first word...and it's dada!" He grins proudly. 
"Yeah baby...dada...now say mama" I giggle to Jamie, she looks from Bucky to me, her little face scrunching, she babbles for a moment. 
"Dada" She giggles. Bucky lets out a shaky laugh. 
"No baby, mama" I giggle, Bucky joined in saying mama to her. Finally after a little bit of trying, Jamie said mama. She said it with such excitement in her voice, enjoying me and Bucky giggling with her. Bucky and I cheered her when she said it, she was snuggly in her bathrobe when she finally said it, clinging to both me and Bucky whilst we sat on the couch. We spend the evening giggling as she called mama and dada. 
"We've got a talkie girlie now love" Bucky grins. 
"Yeah we do Bucks" I say smiling as I cuddled Jamie close to me. 
Taglist:
@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan @knyaotjjkbiatch
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morganski-19 · 1 day ago
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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 62
ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 59, part 60, part 61
the first part takes place somewhere between parts part 37 and part 39, the second part takes place during part 40, and the last part takes place sometime between part 40 and part 41.
“No, no, no,” Steve complains as the radio just keeps talking. He had switched it to the game while he was making dinner, seeing if it was anything worth watching. “Come on.”
Considering how bad they were losing, it might give him more stress to watch it happen.
“Something goin’ on,” Wayne asks, rummaging around the fridge to find something to eat before going to work.
“Nothing serious. Just a bunch of idiots who can’t seem to actually score anything good.”
“Listening to the game?”
Steve laughs. “Yeah. Might just turn it off, it’s pissing me off.”
“Oh, I know the feeling. I normally listen to the game on my way to work, find myself turning it off when I can’t take it anymore.”
He turns to stir the stir fry he was making in the pan. Lowering the heat so it doesn’t burn. “If there’s nothing good in the fridge, you can have some of this. I made too much for myself anyway.”
“Thanks.” Wayne grabs a bowl. “If it won’t piss you off too much, we could go and watch some of the game before I have to leave.”
Something in that makes Steve freeze for a moment. No one ever offers to watch the games with him. Nancy would sometimes, back when they were dating, but was never really into it. Back when he was friends with Tommy and Carol, they would sneak off halfway through. And just the mere mention of watching it now makes Robin gag, and Dustin roll his eyes.
The only person he can remember watching it with was once with his dad. He was seven and his dad called him into the living room, made him sit down. Asked somewhere between the fifth and sixth inning if Steve ever wanted to play. He knew, then, that if he did, it would make his dad proud. He said yes.
He never liked playing baseball as much as watching it, though. He switched to basketball and swimming in middle school, played that the rest of the way through high school. But that moment was one of the only nice memories he had of his dad.
“Yeah,” he says. Trying to play off whatever he was feeling. “That would be nice.”
Wayne walks away, waiting for Steve as he searches for the channel on the TV. Steve sits down on the other end of the couch. Watching the train wreck of a game, but that’s not what he was focusing on anymore.
It’s stupid, he knows. But somewhere, right now, that hole in his chest fills a little bit. For a moment he can pretend that he’s seven years old again, watching the game with his dad. It’s better this time, though. Now it’s with someone who cares.
“If you ever wanted to make this a little sweeter, a small bit of honey goes a long way,” Wayne offers during a commercial break.
“Really.”
Wayne nods. “Just a little bit, don’t need to go wasting it. But it just adds a little more flavor to it.”
Steve smiles. “I’ll have to try that next time.”
. . .
Steve’s out in the garage when he hears it. Someone in the house calling out his name. The closer he gets, the more distressed it sounds. He tries to remain calm as he finds who it is, but the panic is there.
And then he realizes that it’s Dustin, and everything starts to crumble.
“Dustin,” he says, trying to mask the panic in his voice.
Dustin’s just standing there in the hall, tears streaming down his face. He opens his mouth to try to say something, but all that comes out is a sob. His knees buckle and Steve rushes forward to catch him.
“What’s wrong,” the panic asks. “Are you hurt?”
“You—” is all Dustin says, the words broken off with another sob.
Steve holds him upright and brings him to the living room. Gets him to sit down, calm down. When he starts to breath less frantically, Steve leaves to go get some water from the kitchen. He finds Dustin’s backpack, the radio inside going off like crazy.
“Dustin,” Mike’s voice cracks through. “Dustin, do you copy?”
He finds the walkie. “It’s Steve, he’s at my place.”
“Oh thank God. He just ran off; we didn’t know where he went.”
“Is he ok,” Lucas speaks over Mike to ask.
“Doesn’t look like he’s injured, I’m pretty sure he had a panic attack, though. I’m making sure he’s ok.”
“Ok. Thanks, Steve.”
He returns to the living room, finally gets Dustin to tell him what happened. All of this started because Steve wasn’t at work. Because he called out. The panic on his face says something different, though. Something deeper.
“Dustin, talk to me,” he tries to coax. “What’s going on?”
“No one tell me anything,” Dustin practically yells. “I have to find out everything from someone else, or days, or weeks later. I never get told anything by the person themselves. I’m always the last to know.”
“Dustin—” Steve tries to explain.
Dustin doesn’t let him, though. “No. I’m tired of the excuses. I’m tired of you saying that it’s not my thing to worry about. Because I do. No matter how hard you think you shield me from it, I worry about it. Every day I wake up and wonder if your head is killing you. If when I see you later, you’re going to be how you were before, or a ghost of yourself. If I’m going to look at you push yourself for my betterment. When I know that you’re in pain.”
Stupidly, Steve thought he was hiding it well enough. There was that little bit Dustin saw last week, but that was a one-time thing. He didn’t need to know more; he didn’t need to worry about Steve.
“You’re like a brother to me, Steve. You’re family. I don’t know why you think you can just get away with hiding this from me, but you can’t. Because I love you and all I’m asking is to know what is going on with you. Is that such a big thing to ask?”
Brother, family. Hearing those from Dustin hits Steve harder than he thought they would. Because, deep down, he knew that. He knew that him and Dustin were close, and that they acted like brothers would. There was just that voice in his head that told him it was all fake. That Steve couldn’t really mean that much to Dustin, not when he had a family of his own.
Steve pulls Dustin into a hug, holding him closer than he needs to. But really, he does need to. “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s a start. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
. . .
Steve shoots out of his sleep, sitting upright. Breaths leaving his lungs faster than he can suck them in. Heart beating so fast, it could run right out of his chest.
A trembling hand reaches out to click the lamp on his bedside. Three things. The swim trophy he won in his senior year. The picture of the party on his desk. His overflowing laundry basket. All things that can’t be in that place. They are all too new.
He wasn’t there. He was home.
In for four, out for eight. Until his breathing slows, his heart calms. The jittering comes to a steady pace. He won’t be able to go back to sleep. But he’s at least not panicking.
Well, not as much as he was.
Because he needs to do something, he stands and grabs the laundry. Takes it to the laundry room and throws it in. Stops to go and change his clothes, before shoving them in the washer too. It isn’t enough.
He heads to the kitchen, pulls out a book and opens the dog-eared page. Begins a recipe that he probably knew by heart by now, but needs to read. Because the steps, the simplicity, the method, it was calming in a way he couldn’t voice.
Robin was the first person Steve ever baked with. She had come over one day back in the summer complaining that her mom was trying this new health trend, and refused to buy any chocolate chips. And well, since he had an empty house, and at that point a hefty food budget from his parents, he offered to get the stuff to make it.
At first, they used the recipe on the back of the bag. Spent most of the time laughing, and spilling half the ingredients on the floor. He didn’t care. It was the first time that the house felt alive again.
What he didn’t realize, then, was how calming baking could be. How following a recipe precisely could calm nerves. Place the fear into something productive, and give it away. Steve didn’t make much, sometimes he would stray from the simple recipe, but nothing brough comfort like homemade chocolate chip cookies. Nothing reminded him how much he wasn’t alone.  
“We have to stop meeting like this, Steve,” Eddie’s voice echoes through the kitchen. He walks over to the island, taking a seat. “What will the town say?”
Steve smiles. “I don’t care for what the town says about me anymore.”
Eddie stares at him for a moment, thinking that Steve doesn’t notice. He does. It was painfully obvious, but Steve didn’t care. It’s been so long that someone stared at him for who he is, instead of who they want him to be. The look made Steve feel alive, in a way, like he was still capable of something.
And really, if Steve wanted to push, it could mean that the ignited heat that traveled with each stare might lead to something. Because, if his peripheral wasn’t fooling him, Eddie looked at him with such adoration it made Steve simultaneously melt and feel like a phony. How someone as amazing as Eddie looked at him like that, he didn’t know. But he felt like he didn’t deserve it.
“What are you making,” Eddie asks as Steve cracks the second egg into the bowl.
“Chocolate chip cookies.”
Eddie hums. “Didn’t take you as much of a baker. Especially a midnight baker. There’s a backstory to that one, I’m sure. Let me see.”
He does this thing, sometimes, where he just goes off on a tangent of one thought melding together with the next. Creative thoughts stringing together in one story, much larger than it needs to be. Steve likes listening to it, though. It’s kinda cute.
“So either,” Eddie continues, “you are so ashamed of your secret love for baking that you only allow yourself to partake in such activities in the dead of night. Or. You are secretly a night owl, which is why you are so perky in the morning. You’ve already been up for hours, and are not tired.”
He laughs. “I’m not that perky in the mornings.”
“If you smile at me before eight am, that therefore makes you perky.”
“Maybe I just like smiling at you. Ever think of that?” He looks at Eddie when he says that. Sees the teasing smile turn into shock. Unexpected shock, but not unpleasant.
Steve’s reckless with his feelings sometimes. It makes him say things like that. Makes that beating of his heart come back. But instead of fear, it pumps him full of something else. Something terrified him in a way he was comfortable with.
And it meant that Eddie looked at him like that, and let Steve know it. It made Steve think that maybe, just maybe, he isn’t crazy for this. He hasn’t lost his mind. He isn’t making a stupid mistake. He might just be making the right decision for once.
The oven beeps that it’s done preheating, breaking Steve away. He hopes that it doesn’t mean Eddie does too.
“How’d I do,” Eddie asks as Steve starts to place cookies on the sheet pan. “With my guesses.”
“Not entirely wrong, I am up for longer than you think I am, sometimes. But not because I’m secret night owl.”
Eddie reaches out and steals the spatula. Hesitating for a moment to see if Steve would stop him. He doesn’t. “Why then?”
“Nightmares.”
The room falls to silence except for the clicking of the scoop.
Steve sighs. “When I get a bad one, I need to do something to get my mind off it. If it’s light out, I go for a run, or a drive. If it’s night, I bake. Sometimes I clean, but that never really helps as much as baking does. Not sure why that sticks so much.”
“I get it,” Eddie almost whispers as Steve slides the cookies into the oven. “Before, when my hands didn’t actively hate me, if I couldn’t sleep, I would play something on my acoustic. It helped calm me down. Playing songs I knew by heart, feeling the motions of my hand playing the notes, it was the most calm I ever felt.”
He wishes he was there to watch Eddie play. He could only hear it, just slightly able to differentiate the live playing from the recording. Steve can imagine what he looked like, but he wished he didn’t have to.
“You’re going to be able to play again, you know.” He doesn’t know what compels him to say it, but he really believes it. “With your determination, I think you could do anything.”
Eddie scoffs, rich in pain. “I wish I was as optimistic as you are.”
“Just because you think that it won’t ever happen again, doesn’t mean it won’t. That pool out there, I haven’t been able to fill it for two years. Something happened in there that made me never want to fill it again. But I did. And maybe when I stop thinking something’s going to pull me into another dimension, I’ll be able to swim in it again.” He turns to look out the kitchen window, seeing the moonlight reflect on the water. “I used to love to swim.”
He did. Before the upside down, when it was just a normal life that were giving him problems, he would swim lap after lap. Until his muscles were sore and his body still felt the waves of the water even when on land. Each time his arm crashed into the water, his frustrations melted away.
“Maybe both of us could find a way to love what we used to again,” Steve finishes.
He turns back to look at Eddie, seeing a mix of emotions in his face. The thing that stands out the most is the want to believe him. The want to believe that the weakness in his hands won’t stop him from playing again. That somewhere in the future, it could be possible to.
Steve really believes that it’s possible. It will just take time. Far too much time, creating nothing but frustration and anger. But it is possible. He believes that. And maybe, just maybe, if Steve could still be lucky enough to have Eddie in his life, he could witness it happen.
If the secondary look that Eddie’s giving him is any solace that what Steve feels isn’t one sided, maybe it could guarantee that. Maybe, if Steve could find the words and tell him, or lean forward and just take a chance, he could see if it’s possible.
The timer beeps, breaking whatever moment they had. It’s for the best, really. Steve can’t lose a friendship over the possibility of maybe. He’s lost too much already to that.
apparently my goal when writing this is how much I can make myself cry, because that bit with Wayne and Dustin definitely got me there
tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,
@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,
@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,
@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,
@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,
@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,
@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,
@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,
@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,
@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores
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sexsylexi · 3 days ago
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Heyyy
The part 2 to Why couldn't it be me was really good , do you think you'll make a part 3 , you just for the happy ending ? Pleaseee pretty please w a cherry on top?
Of course here it is!
Why couldn't it be me? Part 3.
Wally west x reader
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The weeks following your conversation with Wally were both a relief and a burden. You finally had the space you’d been yearning for, but it left you with too much time to think.
You replayed Wally’s words over and over in your head.
He had admitted he loved you after all this time..
They sounded like a dream, yet they carried the weight of your heartbreak. Could you trust him? Or was it just another one of Wally’s impulsive decisions, the kind he often made without thinking about the consequences?
You spent your days reflecting, journaling, and throwing yourself into training with the team. Anything to keep your mind from spiraling. But no matter what you did, thoughts of Wally always lingered.
---
Wally, meanwhile, was doing everything he could to prove he meant what he’d said.
He had ended things with Artemis shortly after your conversation. It hadn’t been easy—she deserved honesty, and he gave her that.
“I care about you, Artemis,” he had said, his voice steady but full of regret. “But I don’t love you the way I should.”
Artemis had taken it better than he expected. She’d been hurt, of course, but she wasn’t blind.
“I had a feeling,” she’d admitted. “It’s always been (Y/N), hasn’t it?”
Wally hadn’t known what to say to that.
“Just don’t mess this up,” Artemis had said with a small, sad smile. “They’re worth it.”
--
A few weeks later, you found yourself wandering the beach near Mount Justice. It was one of your favorite places to think—a quiet spot where the sound of the waves drowned out the noise in your head.
You’d been coming here a lot lately, trying to sort through your feelings.
You cared about Wally. That much was undeniable. But could you trust him not to hurt you again?
As you stared out at the ocean, you heard footsteps approaching. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
“Hey,” Wally said softly, stopping a few feet away.
“Hey,” you replied, your voice calm but guarded.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The sound of the waves filled the silence.
“I didn’t mean to intrude,” Wally said finally. “I just... I’ve been thinking about you.”
You turned to face him, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Wally?”
He looked down at the sand, then back up at you. “I wanted to see you. To talk. If you’ll let me.”
You hesitated, then nodded. “Go ahead.”
Wally took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. “I know I said a lot the last time we talked, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. About us. About how I’ve hurt you.”
His voice wavered, but he pushed on. “I was selfish. I didn’t see what was right in front of me because I was too focused on chasing something I thought I wanted. And when you pulled away, it made me realize how much I’d taken you for granted."
You watched him carefully, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his eyes.
“I ended things with Artemis,” he said, his voice steady. “Not because of you, but because it wasn’t fair to her. I couldn’t keep pretending to be in love with her when my heart was somewhere else.”
Your breath hitched at his words, but you didn’t interrupt.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me right away,” he continued. “I know I’ve screwed up, and I don’t deserve an easy fix. But I meant what I said, (Y/N). I love you. And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to.”
You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you held them back. “Wally... I’ve spent so long loving you from a distance. Watching you fall for someone else. It hurt more than I can put into words.”
“I know,” he said softly. “And I hate myself for putting you through that.”
“But...” You hesitated, your voice trembling. “These past few weeks, I’ve realized something. No matter how much I tried to let go, I couldn’t. Because I love you too.”
Wally’s eyes widened, hope flickering across his face.
“That doesn’t mean everything’s okay,” you added quickly. “Trust takes time, and I need to know that you’re serious about this. About us.”
“I am,” he said, stepping closer. “I swear, (Y/N). I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work.”
You searched his eyes, looking for any sign of doubt, but all you saw was sincerity.
“Okay,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Okay?” Wally repeated, a cautious smile spreading across his face.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “We’ll take it slow. But I’m willing to try.”
Wally let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his smile widening. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
For the first time in weeks, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. It wouldn’t be easy, but maybe—just maybe—this was your start.
---
The next few weeks were a mix of tentative steps and quiet moments. Wally was true to his word, taking things slow and giving you the space you needed. He made an effort to show you how much he cared, from small gestures like bringing you your favorite snacks to simply listening when you needed to talk.
It wasn’t perfect—there were moments of doubt and lingering hurt—but you were both committed to making it work.
One evening, as the team gathered at Mount Justice for a rare night off, Wally found you sitting on the couch, a book in your hands.
“Hey,” he said, plopping down beside you.
“Hey,” you replied, setting the book aside.
“Can I ask you something?” he said, his tone unusually serious.
“Sure.”
He hesitated, then said, “Do you think we’ll ever get back to the way things used to be?”
You thought about it for a moment, then shook your head. “No. But maybe that’s a good thing.”
Wally frowned. “How do you mean?”
“Well we're together now as a couple,” you said, smiling softly. “We’re not the same friends we were before. And I think that’s okay. Maybe we can build something even better.”
Wally’s expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand. “I like the sound of that.”
As you sat there together, hand in hand, you felt a sense of hope you hadn’t felt in a long time.
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spiderdetentionaire · 1 day ago
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Young Goetia is huddled next to Lilith who is trying to comfort the teenager. And in the process Octavia receives what is known as affection from a mother figure.
Octavia: Seriously, I heard her. Besides wanting to kill my dad, she wants to kill me *wipes away tears and looks at the Sins* And it's all your fault! You took my father's powers away.
Mammon: Okay. We fucked up, yeah. And we're paying the consequences, what else do you want from us?
Lucifer takes a pillow from Belphegor that she used to get some sleep, and buries his face in it to start throwing a tantrum to vent the anger that he doesn't hide at all.
Belphegor: Brother, calm down.
Lucifer: Do you see what you caused, you bunch of idiots? Now this girl is in danger *presses the bridge of his nose, even though he doesn't have one* Tell me kid, where do you think your father could be?
Octavia: Well, the only place I think about is my friend Loona's house. And she lives with her adoptive father, Blitzø *turns to look at Beelzebub* She told me about you and said you were friends, why didn't you do anything to help?
She was going to answer but Satan intervenes.
Satan: Very well. It was my fault, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I screwed up the most than them, okay?
Lucifer: Well, that's a first step to admit your mistake… Amenadiel.
Satan: *gets upset* That's not my name anymore… Samael.
Lucifer: *thinks a bit* Let me see, that Blitzø lives in the Imps' neighborhood, right? *Octavia nods* Ah, damn myself. I'll have to go through that angry mob again. I'll have to modify the Hierarchy and do what my beloved wife suggested. So Sinners, I'm sorry but now you'll be at the bottom of Hell.
Angel: Great.
Lucifer heads for the door to leave, feeling the gazes of the Sins.
Lucifer: *sighs* Okay, you can go back to your rings now. And yes, I'll leave them clean for you. But if you do something stupid like that again, you'll see what's going to happen to you. I have plenty of imagination for punishments. *opens the door, but Alastor stops him* What do you want, Bambi?
Alastor: Wait, Your Majesty. I can't let you go to that place alone after your humiliating event. So you must be accompanied by someone who supports you. Someone who watches your back. So… Charlie, go and accompany your father.
Charlie: For a moment I thought I had achieved something with you Alastor. Thanks because I thought I was dreaming *said somewhat disappointed* Come on, dad. Let's look for that Goetia.
The King and Princess leave the hotel in search of Stolas. Meanwhile, Octavia is still sad and can't stop hugging Lilith.
Octavia: Please excuse me, Queen Lilith. I just needed this.
Lilith: Poor little thing. It seems you never had a mother's love *in her mind* Although I'm no better mother than she is.
Octavia: Try as I might, I can't remember a time when she's ever done anything for me or shown genuine love. It was always me and my dad.
Curiosity overtook Lilith.
Lilith: Nothing? Not even a small detail from her or a simple "I love you, my beloved daughter"?
Octavia: Just for show.
Lilith's "Mama Bear" mode turned on. She gently separated from Octavia and headed for the door.
Vaggie: Ma'am, where are you going?
Lilith: I think I'll go have tea with this girl's mother and have a warm chat with her *and left the hotel*.
Husker: Now she's pissed *goes to the six sins* So you're fallen angels?
Satan: Why would we respond that to a sinner?
Angel: Okay. Charlie's dad brought you here to insult us, or what? Besides, you can go back to your rings now. Why are you still here?
Vaggie: I think I know why. *addresses the Sins* Charlie told me a lot about you. About how her aunts and uncles took care of her when she was a little girl. I guess that's why you haven't left yet. You want to spend more time with her.
The six of them exchange glances, Vaggie isn't wrong, they enjoy Charlie's positive attitude and joy. They even like the Hotel, they like what she achieved and what she wants to achieve even though it seems impossible.
Mammon: It's true *he admitted* She's a special girl.
Asmodeus: Yes. It's just that we didn't know what time would be right to spend time with her.
Satan: It seems like she's fine without us.
Belphegor: I remember when I made myself a giant and she slept in my wool when she was a baby.
Leviathan: *both heads talk at the same time* Although we think she might need help with her plan. She wants to redeem the sinners to avoid exterminations, the problem is that she wants to redeem them all when that's impossible. If anything she could only redeem some, only if they want redemption. But not everyone deserves it.
Octavia: *a little calmer* Once, when we were still a family, let's say functional, we watched your commercial on TV.
-FLASHBACK-
It was a quiet morning where the Goetia family was having breakfast when on TV they showed a commercial about a place in Hell founded by the Princess of this same Hell to redeem sinners so that they go to Heaven and thus avoid the annual exterminations.
Stolas: That… sounds like an interesting idea.
Stella: Pfff! Please. Does the little princess really think that sinners will want to go to her hotel or whatever to be better? They are just scum that enjoy being here.
Octavia: Well, at least she tries to do something. I mean, her father lets those angels come here and cause a massacre every year. I have even lost some friends.
Stella: Honey, they are souls that chose to be here and now they must suffer the consequences like the scum that they are. I have also told you to look for friends more on our level.
Stolas: I think Octavia has a point. I even know sinners that deserve a second chance. Sure, there are a few of them, but…
Stella: Ha! Of course. The day that girl manages to get a sinner to go to Heaven, then I'll… Umm… *thinks a bit* I can't think of anything. But that won't happen *puts food in her mouth* Nuh uh.
Stolas: Don't talk with your mouth full, please.
-END OF FLASHBACK-
Vaggie: We'll make Stella eat her words. But you're right. And I tried to make her see that but I was looking for a way to do it.
Then the Sins exchange glances and nod to each other.
Bee: Araqiel.
Alastor: Excuse me, your highness?
Bee: That was my name before the fall. Araqiel.
Asmodeus: Semyazza.
Mammon: Gadreel.
Leviathan: *both heads* Tamiel.
Husker: And did you always have two heads?
Leviathan: *both heads* We had one. But when we got the power of Hell that head split into two and two were formed.
Belphegor: *yawns* Azazel.
In the end everyone sees Satan, who at first regrets the idea but gives a hot sigh.
Satan: You just heard it *groans* Amenadiel.
Mammon: Considered as Father's favorite son. Although I think it's Michael now.
Satan: Don't start. And we weren't just angels, we were archangels. The best archangels God has ever had among his children. Hmmp! I'm the oldest of all and Samael is the one who punishes us and all that.
Bee: I wonder how Lucifer and Charlie are doing with that Goetia.
Mastermind Aftermath (ft. Lilith)
Charlie was watching TV with her mom when suddenly they show a summary of the trial.
Charlie: Oh shit.
Lilith: If your father sees this…
Lucifer arrives with a bowl of popcorn.
Lucifer: Hi my loves, what are you watching?
When he sees the summary on TV he drops the bowl to the floor. And although he seemed to be smiling, he was actually very pissed off with his horns visible.
Charlie: Dad?
Lucifer: I'm sorry but I have to take care of some things to do.
And without further ado he disappears.
An hour later. Vaggie turns on the TV and…
Vaggie: Puta madre!
Everyone is going to see the gossip.
666 News: Breaking news! Lucifer beats the shit out of the sins. Just like you hear it. The king of Hell made it snow in the ring of Wrath, put limits on consumption in the ring of Gluttony, put 100% discounts in the ring of Greed, applied parental control in the ring of Lust, made everyone happy with what they have in the ring of Envy and prohibited sleeping at all hours and laziness in the ring of Sloth. And now he is reportedly looking for the former prince Stolas to give him back all his power. The king of Hell was interviewed and this is what he said.
Lucifer: It's just not fair. I'm helping in my daughter's project, and these people are causing a mess with a lawsuit behind my back… it's not fair.
Reporter: Will things go back to normal in the other rings after what he did?
Lucifer: Until further notice and when I say so. And no more questions. I'm looking for Stolas.
Husk: He's pissed off.
Angel: Look what it says on my phone. It says that Charlie's dad has taken control over the rings and sent the sins to a specific place until he gets over with their mess and gets over his anger.
Lilith: And where does he plan to send them?
The hotel bell rings. Niffty goes quickly and comes back quickly.
Niffty: Charlie, they're looking for you.
Charlie goes and finds her uncles and aunts all scolded and punished.
Mammon: Your dad sent us here.
Beelzebub: And he will be in control of our rings until he says so. And all because of you, Satan!
Azmodeus: As some Imps would say: You fucked up!
---
In Stella's house, she throws the remote to the T.V. breaking it after seeing the news. Needless to say, she's just as pissed off as the time she found out Stolas was cheating on her with an Imp. Right next to her is her brother.
Stella: He can't do that, right?
Andrealphus: Oh dear sister *he takes a sip of his tea* Of course he can! Is fucking Lucifer we're talking about. Didn't you see what he did to the Sins?! Of course he can return your ex his powers.
Stella: *growls in frustration* And to think that all my plans are finally coming to fruition, only for that damn dwarf to show up and ruin everything. And yes, it is Lucifer we are talking about.
Under the table, as if it were a cartoon…
Andrealphus: But what a clever and original comment.
Whatever. Stella pulls out a huge folder with many plans against Stolas to claim absolute power. Andrealphus sees the folder and is shocked to see Octavia's photo in it.
Andrealphus: Are you thinking of plotting to kill your own daughter? Would you be capable of such a thing?!
Stella: Andrealphus! What are you saying?! OF COURSE I am capable, but it's not the time yet, silly. One step at a time.
Suddenly, she closes the folder and makes it disappear into a strategic location.
Stella: There's no other option. We have to kill Stolas before His Highness gives his powers back. *she laughs evilly*
Andrealphus: Let me think in a good plan for it. But I assure you, it will be done as you wish, my hot sister.
Brother and sister laugh evilly and madly, as if they were two kookaburras, and Andrealphus turns his head back maniacally.
Stella: But now I must step into my role as a devoted mother and go see Octavia to her room and tell her to come for dinner. That girl is skin and bones.
As Stella leaves, Andrealphus sees a picture of Stolas with a malicious look.
Andrealphus: I hope you've enjoyed your pathetic Imp, Stolas. Because soon you'll be--
Stella: Andrealphus!!
The ice bird gets up from his seat and runs towards his sister's scream. When he arrives, he finds Stella standing in Octavia's bedroom doorway.
Andrealphus: What's happening?!
Stella: Octavia's gone!
The young Goetia had escaped and took everything she could with her; clothes, phone, etc. Seeing the scene, Stella becomes thoughtful until she concludes something.
Stella: Changes of plans, brother. We have to kill her, too.
---
It had been about 5 hours since Lucifer left to look for Stolas. At the Hotel Charlie does everything possible to make her uncles and aunts feel comfortable, which is not easy since they already have a state of life and comfort zone already established. And of course, there was no lack of criticism or at best certain observations about the redemption plan that she wants to impart in her Hotel and the possible failure that this can entail.
But all that is interrupted when Lucifer appears at the main door all hurt, his clothes torn and tired. Lilith takes him to their room at the Hotel to take care of his wounds, for example she cleans the wounds on one of his legs.
Lucifer: Hey hey hey it burns it burns.
Lilith: It's incredible that you, being the king of hell, a simple demon, could have done this to you.
Lucifer: Demons in plural. And if I ended up like this it's because they piled up against me.
Lilith: Well, what kind of demons were they?
Lucifer: Imps.
Lilith: *not believing it* IMPS?!
Lucifer: But with impressive forces. I don't understand how they could do this to me. As if I had done something to harm them.
Lilith: Well, maybe it was because you put them at the lowest bottom of the Hierarchy in Hell.
Lucifer: Maybe that's why, right?
Lilith: I told you that that place was meant for Sinners.
Then Mammon appears at the door.
Mammon: Dear sister-in-law, are you still going to take your time to heal the wounds of poor Luci who was attacked by some fierce Imps? *laughs* Speaking about losers, bro.
Lucifer: Laugh, you fatso. I'd like to see you face those Imps who seemed to be full of sterols.
Lilith: Why do you say that?
Lucifer: Because the poor bastards jumped so high that they would surpass Sera's height... And how do you know they were Imps?
Mammon: They are broadcasting your humiliating event on Vox TV.
Lucifer: Damn bootleg plasma TV. Not only satisfied with trying to ruin our daughter's project... I'm going to close down his business and his partners' to see if he finds it funny.
Lilith: Mammon, why don't you kindly ask Niffty to prepare you something to eat *takes out a sewing needle* while I sew it up?
Lucifer: Are you going to sew my wounds with that needle?!
Lilith: No, your pants.
Lucifer: Ahhh
Lucifer takes off his torn pants. And yes, hus underwear has printed ducklings.
Lilith: And you, Mammon, go and ask Niffty for something to eat.
Mammon: Greaaaaaat. Okay, Luci, I'm leaving because my hunger is as fierce as some dangerous Imps *laughs again and leaves*
Lucifer: Let's see if you keep laughing, knowing that I control your ring.
Lilith: Please, Luci. Don't be angry anymore.
Lucifer: And how could I not be angry after the stupid thing they did behind my back? Speaking of stupid things, what an idiot I am for not having found Stolas yet, Oh My Father. I've already checked every corner of the rings and that Goetia doesn't appear. Well...
Lilith: Well, what?
Lucifer: I checked every corner, except the Imps' zone when they attacked me. And I'm still an idiot because it is said that he is having an affair with an Imp.
Lilith: The ex-prince of the Goetia having an affair with an Imp? This has become a soap opera.
Lucifer uses his magic to dress himself in better clothes and leaves the room. In the lobby, the rest of the sins, including Alastor, did not hide their desire to laugh after seeing on television how some simple Imps attacked the king of Hell.
Lucifer: Keep laughing, you fuckers. You won't see your rings in a long time. But now I have better things to...
But when he opens the doors of the Hotel to leave again, he finds a young Goetia about to knock on the door. It seemed that the girl was crying.
Octavia: King Lucifer?
Lucifer: Umm... yes?
Octavia: I need your help.
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frindoka · 5 months ago
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I DIDNT POST MY FUCKING VIDEO
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zemnarihah · 3 months ago
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pretty sure i have a kidney infection but i think everything is gonna be okay
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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wanted to go to the gym social tn but as I was getting my stuff together to go out, a friend said smth that rly pissed me off and now I'm too fucking angry to go out. fucks sake man
#fucking hate ppl commenting on my 'self control' for being sober bc I get it all the fucking time and its so patronising !!!!!!#even if its not intended that way. dont care didnt fucking ask. especially from someone im friends with#but whatever i should know better than to expect ppl to know me#maybe other ppl need discipline to stay sober but i dont bc the alternative is a non option and always has been. not that hard for me#and i have my own self control struggles w other shit man like im not pristine and perfect fuck off. you only dont know abt the#shit i actually fucking struggle with bc i dont know or trust u well enough for that.#and i HATE when ppl fucking imply im susceptible to peer pressure. im not. dont fucking overestimate your influence#ppl act like shit is a choice like actually i have a trauma rooted fear that comes from ppl in my family dying of substance abuse thanks 👍#which i dont expect strangers to know. but my friends should fucking know that!!! but i guess its not worth remembering#whatever it doesnt matter im prolly upset for other reasons im going to go out for a walk to calm down i cant be at home right now#even more fucking annoyed that im missing the gym over this. i shouldve been there an hour ago.#i mean i could still go maybe the cycle ride would stop me feeling mad and blowing everyone up once im there. i doubt it tho#UGH. fucking whatever. whatever whatever whatever. sorry for ventposting i was typing out a longass reply#but its not gonna fucking do anything except come across needlessly aggressive and ruin the conversation#even if i really really want to be needlessly aggressive. and ruin the conversation. but i guess i have the self control to not. lmfao#what if i just killed myself. anyway i think im gonna go get some shitty fast food on this walk and watch a horror movie when im back#.vent
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buggotbrain · 2 months ago
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you can be having the most basic regular uneventful day and here comes a man. someone you haven't seen before and will never see again. his only purpose is to heckle you for the simple fact of being a woman. LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!
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robinsnest2111 · 7 months ago
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scared they're just. keeping in touch. because I give them my money by buying tickets and merch orz
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pekodayz · 1 year ago
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If I gotta be around some racist transphobe one more time I’m gonna bash my head into a concrete wall until i can no longer see or hear or think of these these stupid ass idiots. I’m so sick of these ppl god
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