#i have such a big headache i am so tired i have so many things to write i would like to sit. and cry. and sleep.
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when will they invent a me who starts her lab report some time before midnight the night its due at 10:30am
#i have such a big headache i am so tired i have so many things to write i would like to sit. and cry. and sleep.#and be allowed to miss more than one lab without being automatically withdrawn from the class#when the last time i missed it was because i had literal covid#god im done with this semester get me out of here
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HURT / COMFORT : STARTERS
a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings for when your muse needs a little TLC. change & alter as needed.
THE HURT:
“Nah, it’s not that bad. I’ve had worse.”
“I don’t think I can walk that far... or at all.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need your help.”
“Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?”
“I’m sorry, I’m just—I’m just really tired.”
“I don’t need a break. I’m okay.”
“It was my fault. It was all my fault.”
“I think I need help.”
“So, I don’t think I’m dying, or anything, and it’s probably not that serious, but... I’m kinda bleeding. A lot.”
“Is the room spinning right now, or is that just me?”
“No, I’m okay, I just... I hit my head. Really hard. I’ll be okay, just give me a second.”
“I’m not sick! I’m fine!”
“No, I don’t think any of my bones are broken, or anything like that. Just bad bruises.”
“Yeah, but you should see the other guy.”
“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes. It’s normal for me.”
“I’ve got a headache.”
“Seriously, though, I’m fine! Stop making such a big deal out of it!”
“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t need your help, and I definitely don’t need your pity. Fuck off.”
“Please tell me I don’t look as bad as I feel.”
“I think I’m running a fever.”
“So, what’s the prognosis, Doc? Am I gonna live?”
“Stop fussing over me! I’m not a baby!”
“Can I stay with you tonight? I just... really don’t want to be alone right now.”
“No, I-I’m okay. It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”
“I... can’t actually remember the last time I had something to eat.”
“You shouldn’t be here. You’ll get sick, too.”
THE COMFORT:
“Honey, have you been crying? What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I think you’d better take a break.”
“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. You did everything you could.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m right here for you if you’ll just let me in.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don’t ever let yourself believe that there is.”
“You really don’t realize just how many people love you, do you?”
“If you’re not going to take care of yourself, at least let me do it for you!”
“I’m sorry. I know it hurts.”
“You’re not alone, baby. You never have been.”
“Let’s get you some food.”
“You’re dead on your feet, poor thing. Come on, you need some sleep.”
“Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.”
“Tell me where it hurts.”
“How many times have I told you to be more careful?!”
“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m right here, okay? I’m not gonna leave you. I’m never gonna leave you.”
“Oh, honey, you’re safe now. I promise. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“Go ahead and take a shower. I’ll fix you something to eat.”
“What happened to you, baby?”
“I’ll kill that bastard. I’ll kill him for what he did to you.”
“You look like shit, man.”
“Whoa, whoa, take it easy! You got pretty banged up back there, and you don’t want to go making yourself worse.”
“I’m not trying to baby you. It’s called taking care of my friends.”
“Sweetheart, you’re burning up! Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?”
#rp meme#roleplay meme#rp starters#roleplay starters#dialogue prompts#rp memes#roleplay memes#rp prompts#sentence prompts#sentence memes#sentence starters
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One of Those Days
poly!mikaelsons x reader | request
summary: between the constant fighting and city clamor, you're overstimulated from the minute you wake up. you try to isolate until you feel better, but sometimes, that only makes things worse. luckily, your loving vampire partners are always there for you.
tags: sensory issues, mental health, overstimulation, arguing, mild emotional hurt / comfort
word count: ~2.6k
a/n: requested by @asexualaromosafezone - i am SO SORRY this took me literal months to complete. a couple days ago, i suddenly remembered i never filled it and finished it asap. i hope you like it, and again, so many apologies!
Sometimes, you wake up, and can immediately tell it’ll be a hard day. The sun has barely risen, yet there’s already a million noises coming through your window. Chatters of people having their morning walks, car horns from those too impatient to let them cross, the distant clang of a dropped pot, and-
“REBEKAHHH!”
-Klaus, yelling for his sister. At seven in the morning.
“What the bloody hell are you shouting for?! I’m right here!”
You sigh, glad that mystery solved quickly.
There’s probably a few more minutes until your alarm rings, so instead of getting up a little earlier, you opt to enjoy your last minutes of peace. Though you soon realize that’s impossible, given your circumstances. On top of the city sounds, there’s a bird right outside your window, and when you try to turn away from it, the tag on your blanket itches the inside of your thigh.
“Ugh!” You toss the blanket off.
Your alarm sounds not a second later.
With a slap to your phone and then another to your forehead, you decide to just get ready for the day. Luckily, not much is planned. Marcel still has control over the city, and with you being human, your Mikaelson hosts don’t want you outside at all.
See, you live with the family of original vampires. You used to be a Mystic Falls’ resident, but then after developing a close connection with the siblings, decided to move to New Orleans with them and get a fresh start. You were tired of the small town life, and while the big city can be overwhelming at times, you’ll never get sick of the culture it has to offer. Besides, living with the most powerful family makes you happier than you ever believed you could be.
As much as you love them, though, they can be a pain. Like when Klaus can’t find his sister, but forgets a whisper would summon her just as effectively. Instead, he has to wake up the whole quarter, and inconvenience you with a headache. When you reach the dining room that day, you slump your head on the table.
“Everything alright, darling?” Kol’s voice floats over your head, making you aware of his presence.
“Tired.”
“Is your bed comfortable enough? Do you need more blankets?”
You haven’t been in the city long, and his consideration warms your heart.
“Oh, I’m okay. I’m very comfy. Just haven’t gotten used to the city yet.”
“Ah, I understand.”
His attention drifts to his sister. You busy yourself with a plate of food and ignore how tired you feel. When Elijah sits beside you, you offer a smile, but don’t say anything. The man, polite as ever, does the same. Though while two of the siblings are quiet, the other two aren’t. Klaus and Rebekah are still on the same topic from earlier. They bounce off each other quickly, childish banter turning into an argument.
You try to eat in peace and ignore them, but it’s difficult. And it doesn’t help that you’ve been feeling down lately, anyway. It’s rather unexplainable, the way you feel. Some days you’d rather stay in bed all day than face the world. Your whole body could be begging for you to get up and get things done, but you just can’t. No matter how hard you fight your own mind, sometimes there’s no winning the raging war.
To make matters worse, you’re always hypersensitive when you find yourself in these low moods. Every little thing is overstimulating and there’s no pause button. This morning, you didn’t even get a chance to wake up before the sounds started. (Thanks, Klaus.) You roll your eyes in your head, annoyed.
“Hey.” A poke to your shoulder startles you, making you jump. “You okay?”
“Ooh, you caught me off guard.”
“Sorry,” Kol smiles, “you in deep thought, or rolling your eyes at Klaus’ statement?”
“Uh…” You bite your lip. You were rolling your eyes about Klaus, but missed whatever statement it was that he just made. “What did he say?”
“That he was on his way to have a little chat with Marcel. That will go swimmingly.”
“Oh.” You snort and decide to joke. “Both.”
Kol grins at you, but then, thankfully, leaves you alone again.
After breakfast, you retreat back into your room, not in the mood to face the day. If Klaus is really going to start shit with Marcel, it’ll be an intense day. You’ve never met the current king of the French Quarter, but Elijah’s told stories. Marcel and the family used to be close, but then, like all their other relationships, ties ended drastically.
“But not with you, of course,” he had promised. “You’re our girl.”
You were skeptical for a moment. Who wouldn’t be, knowing the Mikaelsons? But then Klaus approached you from behind with a kiss to your hair and confirmed his brother’s words,
“As long as we have your loyalty, you’ll always have ours.”
You could see the truth in his statement. Everyone who ended up on their bad side had betrayed them in some way. So, as long as you didn’t repeat others’ mistakes; as long as you kept your trust in the family, you would be considered family. And ever since the day you first grew close, you have been their family.
You’re close with all of the siblings. Elijah, first, when you couldn’t take your eyes off him at Damon’s dinner party. Then Rebekah, and then Kol, when he undaggered. Even Finn, before his untimely death - thanks to Matt, your good friend now worst enemy. Klaus took the longest to trust you, and you can’t blame him for having trust issues, but once he realized how much his siblings adored you, he was quick to accept your place with them.
Now, the five of you live together, nine hundred miles from your hometown. It’s certainly a change, but every day with them is an adventure.
Like today, you suddenly think, overhearing Elijah’s footsteps in the hallway. Today has definitely been one of those days.
“Y/N?” He stops outside your door.
“Mhm?”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Elijah opens the door, but doesn’t fully enter your room. He looks you up and down before smiling. “I just thought you seemed sad earlier and wanted to check on you. Is everything okay?”
“Oh!” You put on a brave face to mask the tiredness you feel internally. “Yeah, I’m just out of sorts today. It’s nothing.”
“Are you sure? Because if someone’s bothering you, that’s something we can take care of.”
“No, no, I promise. It’s all just me. Just having a day.”
“You’re positive?” He asks for confirmation again.
“Have I ever lied to you, ‘Lijah?”
He looks down at his shoes, embarrassed. “No, you haven’t. I apologize for doubting you.”
“It’s okay,” you step closer to him, resting against the door frame. “No need to apologize. But I swear, I just… woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. New Orleans is a loud city. I’m still adjusting.”
“Okay. Well, call if you need anything. Even the smallest thing.”
“I will.”
“Oh, and be careful in the off-chance that Marcel storms in here. There’s a fight brewing in the quarter.”
“I’ll keep an eye out.”
“Better yet, stay inside for the day. So you’re not in harm’s way at all.”
“Okay, ‘Lijah.”
He smiles at you, then kisses your hand. “Now, I need to neutralize my brother. But I needed to make sure our girl was okay first.”
“She’s okay. Go deal with him.”
Elijah straightens his collar before speeding off to no doubt defend his brother in a fight. You love Klaus, but man, does he get angry. And then from anger, comes pure rage, then absolute chaos. Once situations escalate that far, the whole block better hide if they want to keep their hearts in their chest.
You sigh, thinking of the carnage that may come. You’re not sure you can deal with his anger issues today, especially not coupled with those of Marcel. Of all the days they have to fight, it’s the one that you might snap, too, if he raises his voice one more time.
Suddenly, your bed looks like the perfect oasis away from the mess behind your door. A good pillow over the ears might prevent an impending meltdown. You crawl into it at once and let your body melt into the mattress.
You hadn’t lied to Elijah, though you hadn’t given him the full truth, either. Yes, you are, in general, okay. Not necessarily today, but at that moment, you were. Also yes, you’re not feeling great today, partly because of all the city noise. And, finally, yes, most of it is just you and your body not in the mood to be awake. Though Klaus is contributing, just a little bit, to your mental distress today. Elijah would understand, of course, but then he’d have a talk with his brother about it, and you really didn’t want to burden either of them in that way, so you put on a smile and didn’t mention it. You’d bet Elijah knows the full truth, and knows why you won’t admit it, but he respects you if you don’t want to talk about it. That’s one of the reasons you love him so much.
You get a couple hours of rest until your slumber is interrupted by a new knock on your door. It’s not soft, like Elijah’s, so it must be one of the younger two.
“Oh no,” you mutter, wondering what it must be now.
“Y/N?” Rebekah’s voice comes from the other side. “Are you awake?”
“I am now.”
She opens the door as you reply. “Oh what the bloody hell are you still doing in bed?”
“Sleeping.”
“Obviously! Come watch a movie with Kol and I! We’d love your company.”
“An actual movie, or the public display of violence happening outside in the quarter?”
“We haven’t decided yet!” She grabs your hand. “Come on!”
You yawn. “I’m gonna pass today, I’m not up for it.”
“Awh, Y/N! It won’t be as fun without you!”
“I have a headache, Bex,” you fib.
“Do you want some blood for that?”
“Does that even work like that?”
She shrugs, “not sure.”
You cuddle into your pillow. “Another time, okay?”
The girl smiles, then leans forward to kiss your head. “Okay. If you change your mind, come find us.”
“I will. Thank you.”
“Dinner’s at seven. Will you be there?”
“Yeah,” you promise, “I should be better by then.”
You are not, in fact, better by then. If anything, your foul mood progressed into an actual headache within thirty minutes of Rebekah leaving. Shouts throughout the city managed to penetrate the thin glass of your windows, and you could hear almost everything as Klaus heckled the current king. For hours, it went on, until the sun went down and they assumedly put it off for another day. By seven o’clock, you were able to sneak in another nap, but you still felt way overstimulated from the day’s events.
Not to mention the fact that you spent all day in bed. Sometimes, you’re overstimulated by too much going on, but today you partly did it to yourself by hiding away all day. The guilt of avoiding everyone weighs on your chest. Rebekah had invited you to a movie; Elijah went out of his way to check up on you, and you had more or less dismissed them both. A bitter taste sits in your mouth when you think about it. Water doesn’t wash it out.
Hopefully dinner will.
For the first ten minutes, the night passes peacefully. Most of the conversation is focused between the meal and the movie the two had watched. The events of the day, seemingly, are left in the past.
But then, of course, Kol has to make a comment on something he overheard that he thought was funny. And that set Klaus off into a spewing of anger. He’s pissed at Marcel, but now, also, at Kol for bringing it up. Elijah puts his face in his hands, and Rebekah sends both a huge eye roll.
What was a moment of much-appreciated silence is now a yelling match. After five minutes, you reach your breaking point.
“Why do you feel the need to comment on that, Kol? It was so insignificant, but you’ve felt the need to bring it up, and now I’m reminded of how much Marcel has done to piss me off!”
“I didn’t mean to make you upset, bloody hell! I thought it was funny!”
“It wasn’t funny to me when he was spitting in my face! I-”
“Oh my god! Are you ever not arguing?!” You suddenly shout.
The table goes silent and all eyes are on you. A needle could be dropped and it would be heard across the quarter.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize quickly, embarrassed.
“Love,” Elijah puts a hand on your shoulder, “are you alright?”
At his touch, you flinch. He retracts his hand quickly, but doesn’t move his body away from its proximity to yours.
Klaus, although upset at the interruption, notices this and calms a little. “Everything okay, Y/N?”
“I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“That little outburst didn’t sound like nothing.”
“I’m just stressed.”
“Darling, what’s got you all upset? Tell us and we’ll sort it out now.”
“It’s no one, Kol, I’m just not feeling well.”
“Still have a headache, sweetheart?” Rebekah asks.
“You have a headache?” Klaus butts in.
The assortment of questions makes you drop your head. It nearly hits the table, but Elijah grabs your frame before you can fall. Tears form in your eyes, visibly.
“I’m just really overstimulated today. I woke up weird and this city is loud, and then there was all the fighting all day long, and then I hid in my room all day, but then I felt bad about hiding, and now I’m making you all worried because I can’t get my shit under control!”
“And that’s your fault, how?” Elijah asks, “you cannot blame yourself for the way you feel.”
“But I need to handle my emotions better. I’m sorry.”
“No apologies necessary, love,” Klaus adds, “I certainly haven’t helped, fighting with children all day.”
“Niklaus,” Elijah warns, but Klaus doesn’t argue with him this time.
“I should’ve stayed with you when you said you had a headache.”
“Don’t blame yourself either, Bex. It’s not your fault.”
“But we could’ve cuddled,” she frowns.
“It’s okay. I got a nap, and it helped a little. I just need to get used to my life being different now. None of you are at fault.”
“Nor are you,” the eldest reminds, “it’s been quite a day for us all.”
Kol clears his throat, “say, after dinner, if you feel up to it, we could all watch a movie and cuddle around you? I think some comfort is much needed.”
“Sure,” you agree, “but I might fall asleep during it.”
“That’s quite alright,” he smiles. He then stands up to hug you, but when his arms wrap around your neck, you freeze.
“Not yet, please. I’m still a bit stressed.”
He gives you a wink. “Of course, darling. Let me know when you’re ready.”
Klaus flicks his napkin across the table. He’s folded it into the shape of a heart. “We love you. You know that, right?”
You take the heart, kiss it, and put it in your pocket. “I do. I love you all, too. Thanks for understanding.”
#poly!mikaelsons x reader#poly!mikaelsons#elijah mikaelson x reader#kol mikaelson x reader#rebekah mikealson x reader#klaus mikaelson x reader#tw mental health#i feel so bad for taking so long on this
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Tired
Summary: You had spent weeks looking forward to your date night with Javi, but once the day actually arrives, it seems like everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. Lucky for you, Javi knows just how to make your day better.
Word Count: 5.8K
Pairing: Dad!Javier Peña x Wife!reader (Reader's nickname is Osita, no use of y/n)
Warnings: SMUT (18+) unprotected p in v sex, bathtub sex (hehehe) vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, big ole nasty breeding kink (listen, who am I to deny this man as many children as he wants), alcohol/being tipsy, food/eating, mom guilt, Chucho being the cutest Abuelito, Javi winning the award for dad/husband/dilf of the year 😩🥵
A/N: .... Well. Here we are again 🫠 When I tell you have made a rent free residency in my head... I do not kid you AT ALL. This has been my favorite story for our sweet little family so far. It also may or may not be how Harper is conceived OOPS 🤷🏼♀️ I love them, your honor.
Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist
Every day for the past three weeks, you had been counting down to the 19th on your family calendar stuck to the side of your fridge, where the words “date night” had been scribbled in Javi’s messy handwriting. While you loved your girls, it had been a while since just you and Javi had a night to yourselves, so when Chuhco offered to babysit, the 4 of you couldn’t have been more thrilled- You and Javi got an evening alone, and Lucy and Elliot got to spend the night with their favorite Abuelito (Grandpa) at the ranch, getting lots of quality time with the animals, and one too many late night snacks.
You had been looking forward to this day for weeks, and that’s why when the 19th finally arrived, you couldn’t have been more disappointed that everything that could have gone wrong that day, felt like it had.
Lucy insisting she help with breakfast before preschool and dropping the rest of the egg carton on your kitchen floor.
Elliot refusing to nap while Lucy was at school, leaving you with no time to get any of the things done around the house you had planned.
The dog getting into the bathroom garbage and then throwing up 14 qtips on your carpet.
The girls having a meltdown at the grocery store because they couldn’t bring home one of the balloons from the end of the checkout aisle.
Going on an hour long manhunt for Flipper, Lucy’s favorite stuffed penguin she insisted had to go with her to Chucho’s, which ended up being hidden under a blanket in her bed.
Snapping at the girls out of frustration as they chased each other through the kitchen while you were trying to finish making them dinner.
Your pounding headache and tired body from feeling like you had been doing nothing but scrambling all day long just to stay afloat.
And now, with Lucy teaming up with Elliot in their no-nap strike, you hadn’t even had time to shower or get ready for your date by the time Javi had gotten home, leaving you with barely under an hour before you had to leave to make it to your dinner reservations on time.
You wanted so desperately to just forget about the shitshow that had been your Friday, but try as you might, you couldn’t help but find yourself in an overwhelmed and grouchy mood. A mood that you did not want to be in on your long awaited date night with Javi, your internal battle of emotions only dampening your spirit further.
As you heard the garage door open and Javi’s familiar footsteps make their way down the hallway, you fought with everything in you to try and put on the happiest face you could, as if you were going to be able to will yourself out of your funk to enjoy the night with your husband.
“Hi, Hermosa.” Javi beamed, setting down his bag to wrap you in a hug, pressing a soft kiss onto your forehead before looking down at you in slight confusion, seeing that you were still in leggings and one of his oversized t-shirts, hair plopped up in a messy bun with very little time left before the 4 of you needed to head out to Chucho’s to make it to your dinner reservations. “Listen, baby, you know I think you look absolutely stunning in anything, but I do think the restaurant may be a touch nicer than my 20 year old t-shirt from college.”
“I know, sorry, it’s just been- It’s been a day. The girls are in the living room playing, do you mind getting their bags and watching them until we have to go so I can shower?” You tried your best to force a smile up at Javi, who was now cradling your jaw in his large palm, tracing his thumb along your cheek. His big brown eyes stared back at you, almost as if he knew there was something off that you didn’t want to get into right now, planting another kiss in your messy hair as you let out a deeper than intended exhale.
“Of course, Osita. Anything else I can do to help while you get ready?””
“No, just that. Thanks, Jav.”
“DADDY!” Two pairs of tiny feet pattered down the hallway, Lucy and Elliot bolting towards their dad with arms outstretched, Javi now squatting down to greet them with a smile stretched across his face, almost as wide as theirs.
“Ahhhh, there are my pollitas! C’mere mis amorcitas (my little loves).” Scooping the girls up in his arms, Javi picked up Elliot and Lucy, resting one on each hip, peppering little kisses over their faces, making them erupt in laughter. “Let’s head back to the living room so we can let Momma get ready before we leave for Abuelito’s house, sí?”
“Okay, Daddy! Will you play horsies with us?” Lucy squealed, wrapping her little arms around Javi’s neck, giving him a hug.
“Of course, Lucy Goosey.” Javi turned back to give you one last smile as he whisked the girls off to the living room, the sight of him carrying your daughters with such genuine joy and happiness being the first thing that had brought genuine relief today.
The relief was short lived though, now looking up at the clock to see you were down to 45 minutes to shower and make yourself look like a halfway decent human. You frantically sped through your routine, cranking up the temperature of the water in the shower to as hot as it could go as you tried to wash away the remnants of your day. Unfortunately, the water could have been a million degrees and it wouldn’t have been enough- You forgot you were out of shampoo, having to settle for Javi’s instead, and after trying to speed shave, you realized as you were drying yourself off, you had completely forgotten to shave the bottom half of your right leg.
You were thankful for the loud fan in your master bathroom, knowing it was enough to drown your tears as you stared yourself down in the mirror, feeling like an absolute mess. You didn’t feel excited, or pretty, or any of the things you wanted to feel before going out on your date. Truth be told, you felt like a shitty, worn down gremlin of a mom who just wanted to do nothing more than curl up in a blanket and hide away from the world for the rest of the night. Taking a long inhale, you shook your head, forcing yourself to wipe the wetness away from your cheeks to finish getting ready, and while with your hair and makeup done, and cute flowy dress wrapped around your body, you looked externally better than you had an hour ago, internally, you still didn’t feel much better.
You grabbed your coat and purse, making your way back into the living room to see Javi changed into navy dress pants and sport coat to match, with a white button down underneath, sitting on the couch with one daughter on each side, arms wrapped around them while they read “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” for what you were sure must have been the 17th time since you had gotten into the shower, considering it was the only book Lucy had wanted to read in the past week. Hearing you step through the doorway, Javi’s face lit up, biting down on his lip as he nudged the girls, pointing towards you. “Pollitas, look. Doesn’t Mommy look so pretty?”
“You’re so beautiful, Mommy!” Lucy grinned, bolting up off the couch, wrapping her arms around your leg, squeezing it tightly.
“So pweety, Mommy!” Elliot cooed, toddling over to join her sister, clutching around your other leg.
You could feel the tears beginning to well behind your eyes again, seeing your little girls attached at your hip and your sweet husband staring back at you, wondering how in the world had given you 3 people who loved you so much on the days you loved yourself so little. You let out a little gulp, trying to choke back your sobs, leaning down to kiss each of the girls on the head.
“Thank you Munchkins. Not as beautiful as my little chickens or as handsome as your Daddy, but that’s okay. You ready to go to Abuelito’s?” You mumbled through your words, your tone now making Javi’s brow scrunch in concern, giving you that look he gave you when he knew something was bothering you and you were being too stubborn to admit it. With enthusiastic squeals from the girls, they were practically running out the front door to the car, you following close behind them with their overnight bags, Javi following behind you just as closely, desperate to figure out what was on your mind.
The drive to Chucho’s was fairly quiet besides Lucy and Elliot’s sing-along to the Lion King soundtrack that had been a permanent fixture in your car for the past few car rides. As the girls half babbled the words in the backseat, Javi reached over, resting his hand on your thigh and rubbing soft circles against your skin, giving you that look that said, “I know something’s wrong and you’re not telling me”, you exchanging back with an incredibly unconvincing, “It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.”
As you pulled up to the Peña ranch, Chucho was already outside, waiting on the porch in his rocking chair, his face beaming just as sweetly as Lucy and Elliot’s as they ran out of the car to greet their grandpa.
“Hola, nietas! (Hi, granddaughters!)” Chucho cooed, letting out a little grunt as Lucy and Elliot barreled into him, squeezing him in their grasp. “How are my favorite little ladies?”
“Hi Abuelito!”
The girls giggled as Chucho kissed them both on the cheek, smiling up at you and Javi as you carried the girls bags to the front door. “Oh díos mio, girls. Look at how nice your mamá and papá look tonight!”
“Thanks Pops.” Javi laughed, setting one of the bags down on the porch. “You still okay if we come pick these two monsters up tomorrow morning?”
“Monstruos? My sweet nietas? Never.” Chucho laughed, giving the girls a little shake as the two of them giggled at their grandpa. “Come by whenever you’d like. You know I am more than happy to have these two as long as you’ll let me.”
“Thanks, Chucho.” You nodded, setting another bag down next to the one Javi had placed on the porch. “Do you need us to do any-”
“Mija, I have everything I need. Don’t worry about a thing. Now go. The two of you deserve a nice night out. Me and the girls will be just fine, won’t we?” Chucho grinned down at Lucy and Elliot, bouncing in excitement.
“Thanks, Dad. Be good for your Abuelito, sí? I told him if you’re naughty, you’re gonna have to go sleep out with the cows.” Javi teased, kneeling down to the girls level, giving them a little tickle and kiss before wrapping them in his arms. “Te amo, Pollitas. (I love you, little chickens).”
“Bye girls, we’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We love you.” You joined Javi, crouching down to give your girls one last hug and kiss before they were already halfway through the front door, bursting into Chucho’s house with excitement.
You thanked Chucho again, making your way back to the car, pulling down the dusty, dirt driveway before making your way back on the road. “God, I’m convinced he loves those girls more than anything else on the face of this earth. I’m sure that means he won’t mind keeping them just a little longer tomorrow, huh, Hermosa?” Javi smirked, once again placing his hand on your thigh, giving it a little squeeze before realizing you had been staring out the passenger side window from the moment you had gotten in the car, trying desperately to snap yourself out of the terrible funk of your day you just couldn’t seem to shake.
You felt the wetness beginning to pool under your eyelids, your breaths becoming shaky and weary, trying to pull yourself together from the tired, guilty and grumpy mess that you were, but it was no use. “Hermosa? You okay?” Javi asked again, confused by your silence, gripping your leg a little tighter, the sweet and gentle tone of his voice being the final straw that broke the camel’s back. You let your tears fall freely, your sobs becoming louder and heavier as you shook your head back and forth, Javi immediately pulling over the truck to the side of the dirt road, unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you into a hug as you cried against his chest. “Baby. Baby what’s wrong? Hey, shhhh, it’s okay, Osita. I’m here, it’s okay.”
Javi held you, letting you take your time to cry before trying to prod about the reason behind it, feeling you take long, exasperated deep breaths against him before pulling away, wiping away the tears that had been flowing down your face. “It’s been such a shitty day, Jav. I felt like such a bad mom, and I’m so tired and I’ve been looking forward to this date with you for so long and I’m just fucking exhausted. I’m so sorry. Our date hasn’t even started yet and I’m already ruining it.” It wasn’t long before you were sobbing again, leaning back into the broadness of Javi’s body as he immediately wrapped his arms around you, gently cradling the back of your head as you cried, feeling his own heart break from seeing how hard you were on yourself.
“Hermosa…” He cooed, pressing you against his chest while he ran his fingers through your hair. “Baby… Listen to me, okay? You are not a bad mom. You are the most wonderful mother in the world to our girls. I have no fucking clue how you do what you do all day long, but there is no one else in the world I would rather have to help raise them with. You are so sweet and patient with them, God, they’re little mini versions of you and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing mom, you understand?”
“It didn’t feel like it today. God, they were so tough today and it was exhausting, I yelled at them today for running in the kitchen and I felt so bad, I just- fuck- being a mom is so hard, Jav. I love it, I do, I love those girls so much, but today I felt like I was running for worst parent of the year award. And now I can’t even pull it together enough for our date that we’ve both been looking forward to. I’m so sorry, Javi.”
“Osita, you are not ruining anything. Baby, if I get to spend time with you, I’m happy. I don’t care where we go or what we do, if I’m with you, it doesn’t matter. So, that being said,” he paused, tilting your head up towards him, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb, “we’re gonna go home, pick up pizza, open a bottle of wine, sit and soak in the tub for as long as you want to, and then I’m gonna make sweet, sweet love to my beautiful, amazing wife until she knows just how much I love and appreciate everything she does for our family. Okay?” You let out a little huff of laughter, a small smile finally appearing in the corners of your lips as you helped to wipe your tears away.
“Are you sure? You planned dinner reservations and I-”
“I’ve never been so sure. I love you, Osita. You are everything to me, and I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to make sure you remember it.”
“God, now you’re gonna make me cry even more, you dummy.” You laughed, Javi joining in as you gave him a playful nudge. “I love you too, Jav. You’re way too good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” As Javi’s sweet brown eyes locked with yours, the weight in your chest began to ease, wondering how in the world you had gotten so goddamn lucky. Buckling himself back in, and shifting the car into drive, Javi turned around, changing directions back to home, resting your head against his shoulder.
“Can we get breadsticks with the pizza, too?”
“Whatever you want, baby, it’s yours.”
With an extra large pizza and breadsticks in your lap, the drive back to your house was spent in a much lighter mood than your drive to drop off the girls at their grandpa’s. You switched out the Lion King disk in your CD player for Fleetwood Mac, the two of you happily singing along to “I Don’t Wanna Know” as you pulled back into the driveway of your house.
You were greeted by your dog, Bear, wagging his tail in delight at your presence from the comfort of the couch, rolling over to show you his belly, Javi gladly obliging in giving him some scratches before Bear gladly put himself back to sleep, curled up against a throw pillow. “Old man could really give two shits about us being home, huh?” Javi laughed, giving the dog one last pat before making his way back over to you in the kitchen, already shoving a cheesy piece of pizza into your mouth.
“I think he’s just as relieved from a night off from the gremlins as we are.” You laughed, catching a stringy piece of cheese that had fallen from your lips, making you and Javi both chuckle. “Is it bad if we eat pizza and drink wine in the tub?” You raised an eyebrow at Javi, gesturing towards your food, anxious to take a relaxing soak, your tub used more frequently by Lucy and Elliot than either of the two of you these days.
“Of course not, Osita. Why don’t you get stuff ready upstairs and I’ll bring wine and pizza up? What wine do you want?”
“I mean… It is date night. Should we break out the nice wine the Murphy’s got us the last time they came over? We did say we were saving it for a special occasion.” You smirked, holding up your half eaten piece of pizza to toast to your failed date night out, you and Javi both shaking your heads in laughter. Javi reached up in the cabinet above the fridge, pulling out the bottle and examining it before getting out a bottle opener and popping off the top.
“God, the amount of shit Steve would give me to know that this got opened to be drank in our fucking bathtub…”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” You winked, giving Javi a kiss on the cheek before taking the last bite of your pizza. “Meet you upstairs?”
“Can’t wait.”
After making your way up the stairs and into your master bathroom, you cranked on the water in the tub, making it hot enough for your liking, but not hot enough Javi would complain about it being the surface of the sun. You thought that you had another set of bubbles to put in the bath besides the ones that you used for the girls, but after digging around in the bathroom cabinet, you had to settle for the bright pink, birthday cake scented bottle Lucy had insisted on getting during your last shopping trip. After the tub was full and bubbles were mixed and foaming, you stripped your clothes, dropping them on the tile floor in a heap next to the bathtub before tying up your hair and stepping into the water, sinking down to your neck and letting out a deep sigh as you closed your eyes in relief. You could feel the tension beginning to ease from your body, taking a moment to sit in the sweet silence before you heard Javi’s footsteps trailing up the stairs, gently swinging open the bathroom door, pizza and wine in his hands and a soft smile on his face.
“Give me one more second, okay?” Setting down his things on the counter, Javi exited back out of the bathroom, quickly returning with a handful of candles and lighter, placing them around the room and lighting them all before turning off the overhead lights, the light of orange and yellow flames flickering against the walls in a soft, warm glow.
“Wow, didn’t know I was going to the spa tonight. Very romantic of you, Jav.” You grinned, crossing your arms over the edge of the tub, resting your chin overtop of them as you stared at Javi, now undressing himself of his own clothes, throwing them into the pile with yours. “And the spa has hot naked men bringing me pizza and wine? God, I should come here more often.” You giggled, looking up at him in admiration as he passed you over your plate and glass before grabbing his own and stepping in to join you, sliding down the porcelain on the opposite side of the tub. “Thank you for this, Javi. I know it’s not what we had planned, but I really needed this.”
“Of course, mi amor (my love).” Javi smiled at you, bringing his slice of pizza halfway up to his mouth before taking an over exaggerated sniff of the bubbles below him. “Why does the bath smell like a birthday cake?”
“I thought I had other bubbles but the only ones I could find were Lucy and Ellie’s so we have birthday cake flavored bubbles.” The two of you laughed, shaking your heads as you bit down into your pizza, knowing that there was no one else in the world you could be happier to spend a night in a tub full of birthday cake bubbles with.
After you had finished your dinner and were a few more glasses of wine in, you had shifted in the tub so that you were settled in between Javi’s legs, resting with your back against his chest and leaning your head back on your shoulder with his hands wrapped around your body, the two of you chatting and laughing away, not knowing or caring how much time had gone by. You had covered everything from Javi’s day at work, to vacation plans, now to Lucy’s interest in soccer, which had been a hot topic of conversation.
“I know, I was talking to some of the other moms at the preschool about it, and they said they’d have their girls do soccer too, they just don’t have anyone to coach. They’re trying to find one of the dads to do it so they can start in the spring.”
“Are you trying to get me to coach a soccer team?” Javi laughed, rubbing his hands up and down the length of your arms. “Baby, I know absolutely nothing about teaching 4 year olds how to play soccer, you would be better at it than I would.”
“Well exactly, they’re 4 Jav, it can’t be rocket science. I think you would be good at it. You know Lucy would whip everyone into shape to make sure they listened to you.”
“Honestly, she would probably be a better coach than I would.”
“She honestly would. I’m being serious though, baby! You’re so sweet and patient with the girls. Plus, it’d be good eye candy to watch from the sidelines.” You giggled, tilting your head up towards Javi, biting down on your lip.
“Good eye candy, huh?” Javi smirked back down at you, sliding his hand down your arm to your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Mmmmhhmmm. I could get to show off my hot, handsome husband and what a great dad he is for his girls. Make all the other moms jealous.” You cooed, shifting your body to face towards him, straddling over his lap, running your hands through the dark curls at the nape of his neck. You could feel Javi’s hands beginning to shift with you, now wrapping his arms around the small of your back, grabbing a fistfull of your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hands. You tilted your head, letting your lips land tenderly on his before his tongue was swiping in the opening of mouth, the tenderness transforming into a passionate electricity. You let your hands roam down his neck towards his chest, sliding down under the water over his stomach, palming at his dick, already half hard in your hands. “Such a good Daddy, that maybe…” You moaned in between kisses, “Maybe it’s time for you to give me another baby.”
Javi paused, his eyes going wide at your comment, his jaw almost hanging open as he let out a little gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. “Hermosa… Baby, are you serious?” He couldn't help but let a boyish grin escape from his lips, his face lighting up brighter than a little kid on Christmas.
You and Javi had agreed you had both wanted a third, but decided to hold off until Elliot was past the 18 month mark before trying again. Javi had been dying for another kid, and had been using as much self restraint as he could to keep from asking you every day if the two of you could start trying for your third child after Elliot had turned a year and a half. It felt ironic that the circumstances you found yourself in to ask him if he wanted to have another baby were because of how exhausted you were from the two you already had, but God, after thinking about him coaching that soccer team, there was something about the thought of your sweet, loving husband with another baby attached to his hip that made any ounce of willpower you had left absolutely dissipate. If Javi wasn’t hard enough from your touch, the thought alone of getting you pregnant again was more than plenty.
“You wanna put another baby in me, Jav?” You smirked, wrapping your hand around his cock, gently stroking it as he groaned, letting his head fall to your shoulder, quietly laughing to himself, almost as if he couldn’t believe his ears.
“Fuck me…” Javi hissed, tugging you closer towards him, the sudden movement making water splash over the sides of the tub. One of the hands grabbing your ass snaked around to your front, grazing over your hip and inner thigh before making its way between your legs and circling against your clit. “Fuck, I want to so badly. It’s all I’ve been thinking about these past few weeks, how much I wanna grow our family, give the girls another sibling, see you all beautiful and pregnant carrying our perfect baby again. Will you let me, Osita? Let me fuck another baby into you, Momma?” The pressure of his fingers on your sensitive bundle of nerves had you moaning, letting out a soft whimper as his two fingers pressed deep into your heat, slowly rocking his fingers along the soft spongy spot inside you that he knew made you crumble.
“Oh my God, yes. Fuck- fuck, I need you to, Javi, please.” You whined, Javi’s mouth now working its way down to your breasts, sucking and flicking at your pebbled nipples as his fingers fucked into you deeper and harder, burying your head in the crook of his neck, the sensation of his tongue and hands making your pussy begin to flutter. The heel of his palm dug deeper into your clit, pressure building in your belly as your hips rocked against his hand, each roll making more and more water overflow onto the floor as you braced yourself, digging your fingers into the skin of Javi’s broad back as that sweet and familiar tingle built at the base of your spine.
“That’s it, sweet girl, I know you’re close. Give me one on my fingers and then I swear, I’m gonna fuck you so full of me, I’ll get you pregnant tonight.” Javi grunted through gritted teeth, feeling your cunt begin to clench around his fingers, your breathing becoming heavy and shaky as you moaned. Suddenly, you felt the coil in your belly snap, making you cry out as your orgasm ripped through your body, flooding every inch of you with euphoria and pleasure as you reached your peak.
Javi placed languid kisses and nips down your neck and collarbone as you slumped into him, coming down from your high with labored breaths, finally composing yourself enough to sit up to see the satisfied grin spread across his cheeks, a lustful and mischievous look pooling in the dark brown of his eyes as he stared at your blissed out face. “How much you wanna bet?” You smirked, biting down on your lip before leaning in to tug at Javi’s earlobe with your teeth as you scooted closer over his lap, shifting your body up in the water of the tub to hover over his cock, carefully guiding it to line up with your entrance.
“Bet what, Osita?”
“Bet that you get me pregnant tonight?” You mewled, slowly sinking yourself down onto Javi’s length, savoring the sweet sting and stretch of him inside you until you had bottomed out, feeling his tip brush against your cervix. “That 9 months from now, we’ll have one more baby that gets to fill another room in our house?” Gently, you began swirling your hips, letting Javi’s cock stay buried deep inside you, splitting you open in the best way possible, almost making you speechless.
“Jesus Christ, Hermosa…” Javi sighed, digging his fingertips into your sides, guiding your bottom half as it rolled in his lap. “I’d bet anything, because I’m gonna fuck myself so deep inside you, it’ll take. You want another baby? I’ll give you another baby, Osita. I’ll give you anything you want. My beautiful wife, amazing mom to our girls, fuck- you deserve everything.”
Moans escaped from both your parted lips as you began to raise yourself up and down along Javi’s length, now punching along the spot inside you that had your mind going numb. His fingers circled against your already sensitive clit as he thrust up into you, the feeling of him all consuming, even as the lukewarm water of the bath swirled between you. You draped your arms around his neck as his free one wrapped around the small of your back, your bodies melting together as one as you pushed and pulled with each stroke.
You could feel your cunt beginning to clench again, heat blooming in your belly with each swirl of your hips, tugging at the damp curls of Javi’s hair at the nape of his neck as his thrusts became more frantic and sloppy, telling he was just as close to reaching his own high as you were. “Fuck, Javi, fuck- I’m so close baby, oh shit- don’t stop.” You whined into the crook of his neck, pulling yourself even tighter against his body.
“I’m not gonna stop, Osita. Not gonna stop until fuck you full of me and fuck another baby into you. That what you want, Hermosa?” Javi grunted through gritted teeth, pounding deeper and faster into you with each word, the water from the tub sloshing and spilling onto the tile floor below you.
“Yes, fuck- oh my god, yes, fuck Javi, oh shit- fuck baby, I’m gonna-ahhhhhhhh.” Once again, your orgasm radiated through every inch of your body, making your legs shake and mind go blank as you cried out Javi’s name, practically melting into him as he continued to thrust into you with a desperate ferocity, close to his own end. Javi’s arms wrapped around your back, caging you against his chest, fingertips gripping in the soft skin of your shoulder blades as he fucked into you, babbling incoherently.
“That’s it, sweet girl. Fuck, I’m close too, Hermosa. Oh fuck- God, I can’t wait to see you pregnant again. So fucking beautiful carrying our baby. You’re such a- fuck- good mom to our girls, my fucking perfect wife, I’m so luck-ahhhhhhh.” With one final thrust inside you, you could feel Javi painting your walls in his spend, milking himself of every last drop, his breath ragged and heavy as he leaned into you, your chests rising and falling in sync as you came to.
“Well…” You laughed to yourself, shaking your head against Javi’s shoulder where it had been resting, now lifting up to grin at his blissed out face, “Safe to say we should probably clean this tub out before we let the girls use it again.”
Javi joined in your laugher, the two of you giggling to yourselves over your antics, peeking over the side of the tub to see the giant puddles pooling on your bathroom floor. “I mean, the water had soap in it, so at least the floor is clean.” Javi smirked, cupping his hand around your jaw, pressing his smiling lips to yours.
“Clean, really? Not like we need any extra towels or anything to wipe up all the water we spilled all over the floor because now it’s just magically clean, huh Jav?” You teased, giving him a playful nudge, Javi rolling your eyes at your heavy dose of sarcasm. “We probably should get out and wipe all of this up. Any longer in here and I think our future kid is gonna come out just as pruney as we are.”
“Dork. I’ll clean everything up. Why don’t you go put on pajamas and I’ll meet you in bed, okay?”
“Javi, I was just teasing. I am half the reason for this mess, I can help clean it up and-”
Javi silenced the rest of your sentence with his lips, capturing the rest of your words in his mouth. “I know you can, Osita. I want to. Let me clean up. Can’t have you working too hard, Momma. Gotta make sure you stay nice and rested so you can grow baby number 3.”
“You are ridiculous, you know that? You just gonna magically will me to be pregnant after tonight?” You sighed, laughing as the two of you made your way out of the tub, wrapping yourselves up in the fluffy towels you had left out on the bathroom counter, Javi draping his towel around the both of you as he leaned down to press a soft kiss into your messy hair.
“I told you, I’d bet you anything. 5 bucks.”
“5 bucks what, smartass?”
“5 bucks says you don’t get your period and we find out you're pregnant by the end of the month.”
“I’ll tell you one thing, if you are anything, Javier Jesús Peña…” You smirked, pressing up on your tiptoes to peck another kiss on his lips, “it’s confident. I hope you’re right, but I’ll take your bet.”
If Javi was also anything, it wasn’t wrong. Because 4 weeks later, after a missed period and 3 sets of double pink lines on your pregnancy tests, baby Peña number 3 was on their way. So when you handed Javi 5 dollars and a little white box with one of your tests, you couldn’t help but laugh to know that even though your future daughter was the product of a date night gone wrong, it couldn't have felt more right knowing you were lucky enough to grow your family by one more with the man you loved more than anything else in the world.
Taglist:
@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#narcos fanfiction#javier pena imagine#javi pena#javi peña x reader#javier pena#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fic#javier pena fluff#javier pena narcos#javier pena smut#javier pena x f!reader#javier pena x female reader#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier peña#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña smut#javier peña x f!reader#javier peña x female reader#javier peña x reader#javier peña x you#javier peña x ofc#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal character#pedrohub
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do you want to give up?
The other day I really realized and these words entered into me: "I am the goddess of my reality."
I had heard many times that the internal world generates the external world (4d=3d) and that you have to wait for the 3d to adjust/change, persist.
It gave me a headache thinking about having to wait to have what I want in my 3D and I decided that if I am the Goddess of my reality I can have it instantly and not wait or persist.
So that's what I did, I didn't wait a second, I just said 3 things that I wanted and that I don't give a shit about getting them but that I already have them and I'm not going to wait even half an hour to see them in my 3d reality.
So in just a few minutes I received the 3 things I asked for. I was really surprised, but that made me think, "I really am a goddess of my reality."
Don't limit God. Do you really realize all that we can do? All that we can achieve just by trusting that we have plenty of power and that we are the ones in charge?
Entré al vacío y conseguí todo lo que quería fácilmente, ¿ quieres saber cómo?
the day after doing that and really thinking about everything that goes into being a God and creating and uncreating everything I wanted in seconds, I really felt so powerful and confident in myself, I went for a sit down and thought "I'm going to enter the void state, because the void state is me, it's my conscience, I'm just me and there's nothing easier than being me." I felt physically tired because I had had many exams so I said "my body is going to sleep but I will go directly to my consciousness in its purest state"
I fell asleep, woke up in the void state, said I have everything I wrote on my "special sheet"
I woke up and seconds after realizing that at that moment I should have everything right there I saw how everything began to change around me, Yes, the 3D began to change and shape before my eyes, I almost died of fear, I'm not going to lie to you, I felt all the energy spinning and shaping, I felt such a big current inside me, as if a cascade of energy was flowing inside me and I was just floating, but it was all there, it was very strange for me, I didn't know that could happen.
I was a little paranoid the following days (actually this happened very recently and I have already felt better for a few days)
It was shocking to see that the third dimension is simply an illusion so easy to change, having witnessed that, I felt unrealized. I didn't know how to distinguish between what is real and what is not, but now I know how easy everything is and you have to know it too, believe in yourselves, just like I believed in myself, really.
When you have doubts about something, remember that you are gods in your reality and you know everything that being a God implies, how easy everything is.
I don't know how else to tell you to trust in yourselves, to believe everything, after what happens I don't see anything impossible, don't you either, just right now believe in the life you've always wanted.
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Very helpful thread made for those walking the picket lines by an EMT in Florida:
(screen shots from here on out. Too many images to put in one post. Sorry for the dark mode switch ahead of time)
[Image ID: a tweet thread made by @TheMaryGirls on July 18th, 2023 that reads in its entirety (though combined where appropriate and tweet numbers removed for condensing):
This is for the strikers everywhere since I'm nowhere near a picket line. This is the least I can do:
I am an EMT in Florida, one of the hottest states in the country on a regular basis. These are things you can do to protect yourself from the heat
1. Water
Water is great, your body needs it to live. You can go longer without food than you can without water. It's vital. If you become too dehydrated you can lapse into something called Hypovolemic shock which is the most dangerous form of shock because, usually, by the time you realize something is wrong, you're already in a bad position.
When you sweat, you're not just losing water. You're also losing salt, potassium, chloride, magnesium, & calcium. To combat this, you should drink something with electrolytes.
You can also eat a banana in order to avoid cramping that can occur with the loss of potassium. You don't want to be the one doing the Charley Horse Hustle on the line when people have phone cameras. You can also eat fruit and veg with high water content. They helps.
A word of caution about ice water. I know the idea of a big bottle of ice water sounds great when you're sweating your balls off on the line but NO! That can be dangerous. Your body temperature is up due to the heat. You chug a bottle of ice water like you used to do with Smirnoff Ice in college, you'll regret it. Ice water will cause your body temperature to drop which fraks up your homeostasis. You can experience stomach craps, fainting, and, on some weird occasions, cardiac arrest. Face planting on the pavement isn't cute.
One way you CAN use ice water safely is by soaking a t-shirt or towel and putting it on your head to help cool you off. Also, cold rags around the wrists can also cool you down. You've seen construction workers with the t-shirts on their heads? This is why.
2. Whole body
If you get blisters on your feet, you need to treat them. Also, don't force pop them, you're just asking for trouble. When they rupture, they need to be cleaned with soap and water (no alcohol or peroxide) and protected. Band-Aids won't really help here.
Band-Aids can easily slip off and give bacteria a chance to move in and really get gross. Liquid bandage is the better option. It's waterproof but it does sting when you put it on so be warned.
If you experience muscle cramps on the line, you need to deal with them. This is your bodies way of telling you something is wrong. Sit down, drink something. Stretching before picketing can also help prevent them. Let's be honest, as writers, we sit. A LOT.
Going from a cave dwelling hermit to bright sunlight and exercise is going to piss your entire system off. Icy Hot and hot baths will be your friend.
3. Dehydration warning signs.
Muscle cramps
light headed
headaches
feeling very thirsty
dark urine
urinating less often
feeling tired
dry mouth, lips, or tongue
skin tenting
confusion
That's all that I can think of at the moment.
GO FUCK EM UP!!!!!!!
/End ID]
Bonus:
[Image ID: Tweeted comment on the thread from @/sardoniccomment that reads:
Every word of this is good advice, but, as a former desert-dweller, there’s something I need to add: dehydration makes you stupid. It can literally prevent you from being able to figure out the source of your problems is dehydration.
/End ID]
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Much Too Fast, Part 5
Summary: it's time for everyone to talk
Pairings: Curtis X Reader
Rating: mature
Warnings: explicit language, Curtis and Tati arguing, flashing, sexual tension/frustration, skinny dipping, wet/dry humping, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 6.9K
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Series Masterlist
*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
“And say please,” Poet slams her hands on the high chair, screeching, and you shake your head no. “Poe, you have got to say please,” your voice is still so soft, but the sweet baby slams her hands on the high chair, screaming out no.
“Poet!” Poet looks at Tati, puckering out her bottom lip, looking up at you sympathetically. Tati’s patience with Poet was virtually nonexistent, “I am tired, and I don’t want to listen to this screaming!” Poet lifts her hands up, making grabby hands up at you. Big drops of tears hug her lash line, and she softly whispers please. You didn’t want her to say please because of screaming. But you will hold her when she needs comforting.
Tati massages her temples. Circling her fingers over and over the area, paying you no mind, so you pull Poet out of her high chair. Shushing her as you bounce her around. The rules never seem to make sense when Tati is here. She wants Poet to learn to be independent, but when she’s here she just wants her daughter to be appeased as long as she’s quiet. Whatever it takes to keep her from making noise.
“Tati?”
“What?” You hold Poet even tighter at her mom’s harsh word. She never looks at you; just stays preoccupied with nursing her tender head.
“Can I ask you a question?” A question made things seem mild. You had so many questions to ask her, and none of which involved her daughter. You second guess this conversation because it truly wasn’t any of your business, but Curtis had made it your business. Over and over again he has made it your business because he is too persistent and needy, and dammit, you’re cracking.
Her arms slam on the table, and she glares at you. Her beady perfectly lines eyes bore holes into yours for daring to try and talk to her. For someone who’s head hurts, she’s being painfully noisy with that slap on the wood. She looks so irritated that you’re talking to her that you nearly change your mind. “Are you wanting a raise or something?”
“No.”
“No? Hmm, well, fine, I’ll give you a raise,” now she massages the bridge of her nose, ignoring you yet again. So you clear your throat, “What is it now?”
“My questions,” she moves her hand from her nose, glaring at you again. Clearly multiple questions isn’t something she wants to entertain. “I’m sorry, it’s just one question,” why did you fear her? Was it because she held a lot in her hands? “Umm, it’s probably none of my business.”
“Then you probably shouldn’t ask it. Grace, can you just spit it out. I really don’t have time for this. I have a headache, and I’m tired, and ready to take a nap,” that’s what she’s always doing here. You’re aware that you’re the nanny, but who was the mother?
“I’m very confused with yours and Curtis’ dynamics and relationship.”
Tati snorts, shaking her head. Her manicured fingers roll over the table before she looks at them like she’s bored. “That isn’t a question. But I should have figured. My husband is a very traditionally attractive man. But he’s stunted,” what a weird fucking thing to say about that man that spends more time with her daughter than she does. “I know there’s a lot of things about him that you may find attractive, but you deserve better.”
That took a turn. She didn’t know that you knew about her not even finding Curtis attractive sexually. She didn’t know that you knew that she had another life with a woman. You almost have a feeling she’s in love with that woman, and you’re falling for Curtis, but didn’t feel comfortable with this predicament. You didn’t want to share, you wanted him all to yourself. And Poet.
“No, I don’t love that man,” rude. There’s something that sits so grossly in your stomach about ‘that man’. That is the father of her beautiful daughter. And one she didn’t spend much time with. One that was tapping on your arm, and smiling up at you. “Curtis and I have never even been in love. This was a mistake. I got to go,” she pushes her chair back, standing abruptly before those stilettos click out of the kitchen.
There had to be some form of warmth that she possessed at some point for Curtis to have been friends with her. But now all you see is stress, and disdain for her life here at this house. Bitterness always coats her face and actions. She slams the door behind her, and Poet looks up at you gasping with a smile before she throws both hands up, “Yay!”
“You’re rotten, you know that?”
“Yep. Uh!” She looks out the back door, and to the pool. She loves swimming and spending the days outside. She’d swim in her float or your arms all day. Tati didn’t give you any clear indications on where you were with things. She didn’t give much at all other than she wasn’t in love, and Curtis wasn’t worth the time for you. And you didn’t believe that at all. You see how he loves his daughter, and know he has so much more love to give to a partner.
There is a part of you that wants to take Tati’s advice because this is a complete mess. It’s a disaster area. But you know what you feel when you’re with him. You know the way he looks at you, and smiles at you. And you love his daughter. This is all much too fast, and you didn’t know how to slam the breaks on it, but maybe you weren’t meant to.
Tati gave you absolutely no answers other than she didn’t love Curtis. She might not have told you that they didn’t have sex, but judging by her answers, you doubt she does anything with Curtis. But…dammit, you feel so conflicted. An ache sits in your stomach because you are too attached. You want him, and Poet, and want to go on a date, and not be hidden out here while she galivants around the world with her girlfriend. You want to be proud to be with Curtis.
“Poe Poe, if you eat your breakfast, we can go swimming, okay?”
“Tay,” she makes her sweet grabby hands for her plate, and you place her back in the high chair. “Pes!” she’s learning manners, and that’s more than you can say for her horny dad or hateful mother.
Tati’s car is in the garage. Your car is here. And there’s a very cute distinctive giggle coming from the pool. His kryptonite. And now you’ve brought his daughter into it. He sighs, walking out of the garage and to the back of the house. Stopping at the fence to stare at you slightly splashing Poet just to make her giggle.
Her chunky little legs kick about, causing her tube to spin around, and then you pick her up out of the tube. You lift her above your head, fully standing up out of water, and his mouth falls open. Poet giggles down at you, as streams of water flow down your curves. You’re too sexy to be holding his daughter.
And then you squat back down into the water, taking Poet with you, and she splashes around. Continuing to giggle, and smile up at you. She crashes her mouth into you kissing your jawline. Having a time of her life in the dreaded pool. The bane of his existence. This is bad. Great, and amazing. But bad. Too many feelings and emotions course through his bloodstream. Warmth and passionate heat.
He looks down at his pants, taking a deep breath, and telling himself that he would really like to join in the family swimming time, so he needs to calm down. Inhale and exhale. Relax, and get your fucking mind out of the gutter. Who knew he had a goddamn breeding kink because all he can think about is enjoying fucking a baby into you. Not accidentally, but pumping you full of him every night until it stuck. He’s a disgusting man.
Once he’s centered himself, he slings the gate open, and Poet screams at him, “Dada!”
“Hey, baby. Do you mind if I change and come swim with you and Grace?”
“Yay!”
“I was wondering when you were going to come inside the gate, instead of lingering out there watching us,” his tongue slowly exits his mouth, and he traces his luscious bottom lip with it. Pulling the lip back in his mouth where he bites on it. Smirking and shrugging while walking to his bedroom. “He’s a menace,” a fucking menace that makes you squeeze your thighs together, and regulate your breathing because you’re holding a baby, and can’t do anything about the need to touch and rub on him.
Poet giggles, blowing raspberries and points all over the pool. Telling you, in her way, where she wants to swim to. You ferry her around the pool, letting her splash along the way. The happiest baby you’ve ever met, and when she playfully gasps, and looks towards her dad’s room, that smile gets even bigger.
Curtis and his hairy tits jog to the diving board, and he dives it. Swimming under water towards you, and you back away, “Dada go?” Poet looks at the dark figure that travels in the water, until he pops up right in front of her face. He grabs onto your hips, keeping you in place, and she begs for him to hold her. “Dada!”
“Hey, baby girl. Come ‘ere,” reaching for her he makes sure to give your side more than too much of a touch. He skims his hands from your hips up your side, and you bite back a whimper. That devilish grin pops up as he stares so intently at you. “What have you and Grace been doing today? Just being water babies?” She smiles, laughing up at him.
“You got home early.”
“I liked what I was coming home to,” silence. You can’t respond to that without sounding like a twittering school girl, or a hateful bitch. He sure knows how to lay things on thick, and it just makes you weak. In an alternative life, you can imagine him coming home, and being all excited while you playfully flirt, and still have fun with the kids. You can see him smacking your ass playfully, while the kids are too busy to see their parents are setting up the long foreplay for the night.
Having hours of buildup, until each and every one of the kids are asleep, and Curtis and you lock the door, and have fun with each other’s bodies. It seems so easy, and yet this situation is a mess. Tati at least let you know that there aren't any lingering feelings with Curtis.
“I spoke with your wife today,” you begin. Curtis dips his mouth underwater, pretending to play with Poet, but he’s watching you. Too much. “She confirmed about not having any feelings. But she didn’t seem to think too highly of you, and that makes me confused.”
“Probably because I wasn’t enough to make her straight, because being attracted to women is who she is, and it’s easier to blame other people than accept that, and there’s no one at fault here. Tati being in love with a woman shouldn’t hurt anyone. The issue is that it has stalled me from moving on with you. It’s not fair to Monica either. It’s not fair to Poe because this baby knows that while her mom wouldn’t hurt her, she doesn’t want to be a full time part of her life. And I don’t think she enjoys her very much,” you can confirm that. But he already knows.
You wade the water. Making circles around his body, and he spins right along with you. Looking between you and Poet. “I’m crazy, but this feels right. Playing in the pool with my two favorite girls. Staring at your nipples poking through your bathing suit.”
“Curtis!” the bastard laughs as you circle your hands over your chest. “You are holding a baby.”
“She can’t really talk now.”
“Is all our conversations going to end up in the perverted realm of things?” Is there more than this burning desire to just fuck each other? Or is the need to have each other shadowing anything else?
“No,” you raise your eyebrows in a challenge. “No, but I think sex should be fun. I think that life is too serious, and why can’t I shamelessly flirt with a girl I find attractive?” That’s not flirting, and he knows it. That is being a horny devil.
“I don’t want that serious of a relationship with someone. I’ve done the five star restaurants, and the dinners with family and it’s this big ordeal. I don’t want that. I want to have fun. I want to be able to joke with you,” that boyish grin fades a moment. “This house is beautiful, and perfect in its way, but I don’t need this. I do like this pool.”
“Do you?” You couldn’t tell he liked it at all…
“Yeah,” his voice is menacingly low. And you feel it right to your core. You wade further away from him. Keeping your hands low in the water. It’s wrong, and you know it is. But sometimes a little teasing never hurt anyone. Poet is paying attention too much attention to her dad’s beard. That beautiful face of hair. A face that you would like to ride, and instead you’re going to rub one out alone. Again.
You grab a side of the gusset of your panties, moving it to the side. But you think twice about it, and pull it back to cover yourself. Had he not had that sweet baby in his arms, you would have asked him to look under the water. He makes you want to sin in too many ways.
“It’s hard to try and figure out what is acceptable when there’s a baby between us. But you can try that again tonight. When you meet me out here after Poet’s put to bed,” he stalks towards the shallow end of the pool. Backing you up. Up. And up, until you collapse on the stairs. “I’d really like to see what I’ve been missing. Without touching that is.”
“On one condition,” your voice is so hoarse, and you try to keep some decency. You’re too weak when it comes ot him.
“Anything.”
“You talk to Tati tonight. She can’t hold your feelings hostage forever. And I don’t want to wait on you forever. I’m greedy and I want you right now.”
Poet splashes and splashes, reaching towards you before Curtis relinquishes her into your arms. “What if…what if I talk to her, and she doesn’t like my ultimatum? Because I think she knows.”
“Knows what?” You know what time it is. If Tati is going to be here, she’s already here, and about to have her takeout delivered. She could already be walking to the door. Maybe she’s peeked outside the window, wondering what the noise was. Right now you didn’t care. You’re willing to break all the rules for just a kiss. Just a chance of normalcy for a moment.
You know exactly what he’s talking about as he gets closer. Looming over you with that giant stature, and ignoring Poet pulling down your top and exposing yourself. Curtis puts his nose right on yours, and you forget how to breathe. Have to focus on the rise and fall of his chest because you’re breathing is irregular.
“She knows I’m finally falling for someone. She knows that this has been a slow road, because she knows normally, I just fuck and move on. That’s why she chose me,” he pulls your top to cover your body again. “She thought I’d never ask for a divorce.”
You swallow deeply. Ignoring the door closing. He wanted to get caught, so he can have a discussion with her. “So are you asking for a divorce?”
“You said I have to if I want to be with you,” Curtis stands up, reaching for his daughter, and you hand her off. Letting him walk out of the pool. “And I want to actually try something real for once, so I want to be with you.”
You let out a long breath. Watching as he walks into his room with Poet. Surely going to dry both of them off, and dress so they can join Tati for dinner. Your chest heaves as you let the intensity of that moment wash over you. It leaves you in such a weird spot because Tati is your employer. And here you just were ready to flash her husband your cunt, while he held her daughter. You are losing all self control and self respect for yourself.
Curtis is making you crazy. Imagining that you and him were a normal couple that didn’t start off as a stranger fucking you within an inch of your life. What were you doing? You were risking everything. All of your morals. Ready to throw everything away for him. For this. To make this thing work. What the fuck? How was Tati even going to respond to that?
Whether you’re the one with Curtis or — you hate to think about it being someone else, but either way, it wasn’t fair. He deserves the chance at someone more than sex. And he’s somehow chosen you, and it makes you lightheaded. You’re horny and pent up as fuck. But you like him. Like his daughter, and in order for this to work, you do need to show some decorum and just wait.
Sighing, you get up out of the pool yourself. You need food. Probably alcohol. But definitely food. And to fuck yourself, so you’re not so fucking horny when you meet Curtis at the pool when the lights go outside. That pool is an aphrodisiac. You get in it and you need body parts touching. Ugh! Why is this so hard to not be such a slut with him? You’re horny. You’re just horny. It has nothing to do with actually having feelings for him.
Nope. Not you. Food. Come. Alcohol. Make yourself come again? How many times would it take so you’re not ready to jump on top of Curtis and ride him like your life depended on it? Alcohol. Just a little, not a lot. You can do this. You and Curtis were going to talk, and see where this goes. That’s all. That’s absolutely all you were going to do. Yep.
Curtis’ fingers roll on the table, and he looks at Poet. Then at the table. Then his Chinese takeout. Then his chopsticks. Then back to Poet. Everywhere but his ‘wife’. And Tati just glares at him. Chewing her food slowly, and being too aggressive with the chopsticks.
Watching the coward as he blatantly ignores her. After the conversation with you this morning, she could tell you wanted to fuck her husband. And judging by the two of you in the pool, he wanted to fuck you, too. Asshole. How dare he dishonor the marriage like that. He didn’t care about how it made her look. He just needs to get his dick wet.
She knows she’s being ridiculous, and Curtis knows about Monica. He’s met Monica. Actually likes her. But he is sneaking behind her back. He’s probably snuck right into that pool house, and fucked you already. Walking around, and pretending that he’s never touched you. Jerk. He’s such a pig headed man.
She lays her chopsticks on the side of her bowl, places her elbows on the table, and then rests her chin on her arms. That sickeningly sweet business smile spreads over her face, but lacks any warmth. “How long have you been fucking the nanny?”
Curtis doesn’t look away from Poet at first. He gives her another bite of food before his attention goes back to Tati, “Let’s not do this in front of our daughter.”
“Oh, I know she’s our daughter. I carried her for nine fucking months, because you couldn’t pull out properly.”
“And now you fuck Monica.”
“And you’re fucking that girl!” Tati’s voice is shrill as she losing control, but Curtis’ remains collected.
“Do not call her a girl! And, no. I’m not fucking her. I have fucked her,” Tati gasps, causing Curtis’ eyes to roll in the back of her head. “Yes, Tati, it was before I even knew her. It was supposed to be a one night stand with a girl that picked me up on the side of the road.”
“You’re lucky to be alive! Poet could have lost her father, and then…”
“You’d have to actually be a mother?” Her hand slams on the table, and Curtis stands up quickly when Poet’s lip puckers out, “We’re done with this conversation since you can’t be an adult.”
“You’re cheating on me!” He chuckles, pulling Poet out of her high chair, and he holds her close to him. Letting her lay her head against his chest.
“No, I’m not. We’re not together. Just legally, and I’m — I’m filing. I’ve been patient, Tat, but you’re living a life, and I’m not. I’ve met an amazing woman, and we can’t even move forward because of this shame of a marriage. We were always supposed to be friends. Things went way too far, and now we’ve even lost our friendship. We’re roommates that share a child.”
Tati worries her lip, something she only did during deep thought, so it gives Curtis enough reason to sit down. She’s at least considering his words. He waits on her to work through everything, as long as she wasn’t raising her voice and causing Poet distress, he could be here. He reaches over to his daughter’s plate, grabbing her something to nibble on. He smiles at her, as she gnaws on her dinner..
“Tater tot.”
“Don’t call me that,” her voice is short, but it doesn’t raise, and her eyes linger on the immaculate table. “I thought we had a deal?” Tati being an only child is used to having things her way. Everything always worked out for her.
“That I stay married to you forever, when a woman that I may be in love with can never be my wife? You thought I was forever going to be slut, so that’s why you thought this stupid agreement would work forever. How does Monica feel about being your dirty secret?”
“I love her,” the confidence Tati exudes disappears, and her shoulders slump. He sounds just like Monica.
“Not enough. You roam around the world on your little vacations, but she doesn’t go to family dinners. She doesn’t have a relationship with Poet, and I told her she should,” Tati’s nose scrunches up, shaking her head no. “Can you at least say it?” She shakes her head no faster. Covering her eyes with her hand. “Tati. Just tell me, and we can move forward. Your therapist said you have to admit it.”
“I sound like a terrible person,” no, right now she sounds like a terrible person. Curtis wouldn’t hold those words against her.
“It’s only terrible if we continue this dance. I can take care of her,” Tati whispers something, but Curtis doesn’t hear her. “Tati, say it. Step one.”
“I love her in my way.”
“I know you do.”
“I’d never hurt her.”
“I have never thought you would.”
“Does,” Tati sniffles, looking up at Curtis instead of the table. Glancing at her daughter with a smile, “Does she want kids?”
“I’ve never really asked. I think so,” he knows you do. You’re a perfect mom, and you deserve a child’s firsts.
“You know I can’t just tell my parents?” Curtis shrugs. He didn’t care what she told her parents, he wanted her to tell him. “You know, that your life will forever be altered?”
“It’s been that way since she was born,” Curtis made all the changes in having a child, while she didn’t make any.
“I don’t want to be a mom,” relief floods over her body, and tears break through her polished veneer. She’s been living a lie, and didn’t know how to stop it from spiraling. Gulping, she wipes at her eyes, and shimmies her shoulders. Deep breaths. One. Two. Three. “I’ve got to go.”
“Tati?”
“Just…I don’t care, just don’t go flaunting her around town. And I won’t sign my rights over until you’re married to someone I approve of. You can have sole custody like we discussed. But…I don’t want anyone to know before I’m ready. I’m going over to Monica’s. Have the fucking house,” her heels start to click out the door, but Curtis clears his throat.
“I’ll give you two weeks,” Her mouth drops open. She isn’t usd to negotiations, especially with him. He always gave her what she wanted. “I’m done waiting, Tati. Poet will be one in three weeks. You’re not doing anyone any favors by avoiding talking to your parents. And if they have a problem with who you truly are in love with, that’s on them. You will always have me and Poet, and you can be aunt Tati.”
Curtis senses her frustration. Can tell that she is irritated, but she smiles. Her smile actually reaches her eyes, and the warmth he loved about her shines through. She really didn’t want to be a mom. “I don’t want Poet to know about you. I mean who you are to her.”
“That’s fine. I — I had my tubes tied anyways. I didn’t — she’s not a mistake, but I don’t want kids. I never wanted kids. It’s not in me. Do you hate me?” He shakes his head no, and Tati sighs. “Don’t make her hate me. Either of them. I was ugly this morning.”
“And then you ran away.”
“It’s what I do best with this situation. But I don’t run from Monica. I run to her,” Curtis silently thanks her. He knows it’s been a long time, and hard work with her therapist to say all of that. Everything she said, all that she admitted to.
“I’m proud of you, Tater Tot.”
“I said don’t call me that,” Tati smiles as she walks towards the front door. Leaving a house that was never her home. Leaving a marriage that she never wanted, a daughter she loved, but didn’t need. A daughter that she is okay to step back and not raise. Give up all that responsibility to Curtis and whatever woman he chose as Poet’s mom. And she’d sign everything away. Let his wife adopt her and Poet become hers.
And for once, she’s not running away. She’s finally going home.
The house is eerily quiet. Even in the pool house, the only thing you hear is your racing heart. Having to look into the mirror to see if you can see it beating out of your chest. Thankfully, it isn’t, but your chest heaves with bated anticipation. Wrapping a towel around your body, you sit and wait like a fool in love. With the blinds open, you stare at the lit up pool, waiting. You won’t be the first one out there, even if you’re staring into that water like it can answer your questions.
You have bared enough of yourself recently, and will soon physically do that, but you need Curtis to be the one to lose control this time. Need him to tell you what you deserve to hear. At nine o’clock on the dot Curtis emerges from his bedroom. He looks towards the pool house, before going to the diving board, and diving in.
He comes up on the other end of the pool, and sits at the table. Resting his elbows on the tile before holding his head in contemplation. Water drips down his face, and you want to lick him clean. No. No. One thing at a time. And with how you’re dressed, you’re already going to cause him to have a heart attack. Deep breaths.
You step out of the pool house, but his head remains in his palms. You walk right up to the steps, and drop your towel. Making your way into the pool too slowly. Your chest is fully submerged when Curtis lifts up. His mouth in that crooked cocky smirk when he wiggles two fingers to you. Beckoning you to come closer, and you shake your head no.
“Earlier today you were trying to show me your pussy, and now you won’t let me see your naked body?” His head tilts to the side. He’s always an observant one, especially when it comes to your body.
“It was inappropriate at the time,” he nods his head as he slides out of the chair, “You stay over there,” if he comes any closer, you’ll be begging him to lift you onto his cock.
“Why?”
“If you want me closer to you, tell me how the conversation with Tati went,” Curtis sighs. He settles back into the chair, and faces towards you. His hands slide up and down his thighs, and his legs spread ever so slightly. “That bad?”
“It wasn’t bad. She’s fighting a lot. But I told her essentially I didn’t care, and gave her a time frame of two weeks, and I’m filing for divorce,” you take a step closer, staying squatted in the pool. “Put your arms down,” you shake your head no again, and he playfully growls.
“She left,” another step forward. “She’s going to stay at Monica’s tonight. You know when we bought this house, she jokingly said that if we ever divorced, she knew I would keep Poet, so I could just have it. She’ll give me full custody. But I need to be honest with you, so if you please give me a little peek,” he’s cheeky. Like showing yourself is going to make this any better.
You drop both arms from around your chest, and Curtis gets even more comfortable. Leaning back in the chair. “Stand up,” you shake your head no again. He wanted a little peek. “You’re frustrating tonight.”
“And you’re admitting to needing to see my tits to tell me this?”
“Yes. It relaxes me,” at least he’s honest. You stand up out of the water. Streams of water fall over your breasts, dripping down your hardened nipples before you dip back into the water. “You are a tease. Go up the stairs, and spread your legs.”
“The only person that will be spreading my legs will be you,” he palms his crotch, groaning. “Curtis,” you warn. He could have it all. Well. Maybe. Maybe not tonight.
“Tati doesn’t want to be a mom, and I will gladly take that off her hands. But…I don’t date to have someone in my life. I date for someone to be in hers, too, and maybe eventually, no time soon, adoption. I usually don’t date. In fact, I told Tati that’s why she went along with whatever childish game this was. Because she never saw me settling down. She thought I was always going to be fucking women at their places.”
“Theirs?” You cock up an eyebrow. Of course Curtis would be into casual sex. He slept with you after knowing you for a couple of hours. But keeping things at their places, keeps them away from his home. His safe space.
“I never bring women into my life. And I’m just a dick in theirs. I didn’t care to be more than that. Because I don’t want to share my daughter with them. Stand up all the way,” you do without hesitation, but keep your arms around your chest, “Now walk closer to me, I need to see you better,” you do. It’s not a slow crawl, it’s a normal speed. But the time just drags on as his eyes roam over your drenched body.
He stands, meeting you halfway, and his hands grab onto your hips. Sliding back behind your back as he pulls you closer, and presses your body against his. Your skin lights on fire at the feeling of his body against yours. All hard lines, and even harder cock pressing against you, and wanting to be free, “And yet, I don’t mind sharing Poet with you.”
“This is too soon,” is it? Is it too soon? Or are you too scared?
“I know, and I still can’t stop it. I don’t know how. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to be casual with you. I never saw Tati making this place her home, and she won’t be pretending to anymore. But I need to know if you see yourself becoming Poet’s mother in the future. Tati wants to be an aunt, so…” dizzy. There’s no other word than that. Whiplash maybe. But you don’t want it to be.
Yours and Curtis’ relationship has been teasing, and slightly sexual. Ultimatums about the future, but this is for real. This is the future for a little girl. “What if I don’t want that?”
“Then give me this one night, and I’ll back away. Poet needs a mother, and it’s not Tati. I’m not saying you need to adopt her tomorrow. I’m saying she doesn’t talk much, she knows you more than her mother. Her mother is nothing but an entity to her, but you are the woman that takes care of her. I already see her preferring you over her mom. And I want you, but I need you to eventually want her. Or at least see you wanting to be her mother.”
Wiggling your arms off your chest, you sink a hand low, and cup his bulge. “Do you always get horny thinking about a future with me?”
“Everything about you makes me horny. Thinking about you pregnant, seeing you make supper, watching you sneak to Poet’s room to kiss her goodnight, watching you watching me. Everything you do is sexual to me.”
You back his body up to the chair, pushing him down onto the seat before you climb in his lap. Straddling his body while you grind on him. His cock throbs on your core, and you’ve never wanted anything more than for him to sink into you. But if you’re to take things slow, you need to just get this pent up energy out, “We’re not teenagers.”
“And we’re taking this slow,” you mewl. Staring at Curtis through your lashes.
“Why?”
“Because it’s not about us anymore, is it?” He groans again. Letting his head fall back on his shoulders as he looks at the stars. Staring at you was like staring at a dream that he can’t make a reality, “Was it ever about just us?”
“That night in the hotel I was not thinking about my daughter as I was fucking you, no.”
“You never thought you’d see me again?” It’s something you’ve pondered many times. Because you never thought you’d see him again. Even if he left his card. He was to be a cock for pleasure that night. And now you see a relationship.
He sits up, shaking his head no. His eyes move over your body as you work his aching cock. This clearly isn’t enough for him, and sex right now seems rushing. But you need something. You’re dying inside. You need him, but your relationship thus far has been built on forbidden romance and sex.
“And now I can’t imagine not seeing you again,” you move faster, undulating your hips with so much enthusiasm. Writhing over him, and he’s mesmerized. It’s like a beautiful little dance that you do just for him. A private performance only for his eyes. A girl he knows has this filthy streak, but you are the perfect balance of lady and freak.
You are his perfect match. A friend, a lover, a fucking porn star with the way you’re moaning, the possible mom to his daughter, his best friend, his everything. A mate for him in all walks of life. Getting off on dry humping him in the pool and it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. Well…he has been inside you, but this sexiness is different.
You’re frustrated, so you use him. “The tension is clouding our judgment, we — we — we need this.”
“Aw, is my little saving Grace getting off on this?” You nod your head yes, moving fast. “There’s a good girl. Ride me like you own me,” you move hard and fast over him. Leaning forward to nip and kiss on his neck. Taking out your frustrations on his freckled sensitive skin. “Because you do.”
You bite on his neck delicately, and give him a hard suck, while he bucks up his hips, meeting you while he blows his load into the water. Your movements slow until you’re just panting on top of him. “You know you do. Do you feel better now?”
“Yes.”
“So now what?”
“You can take me on a date on your bike. You’re the father, so you’re going to have to figure out a babysitter,” you move away from his neck, and smile at him. His eyes freely roam over your heaving chest. With a smirk, you lean back. Practically laying back on his legs so you spread your own, “You can look, but you can’t touch just yet.”
“But she’s swollen,” he says looking into the water. “And she’s blurry,” he starts to lift up your bottom half, but you sit up straight, shaking a finger in his face. “That’s not fair!”
“Proper date. And then we’ll see how I feel about something more serious with you.”
“You want it,” he teases as you saunter towards the stairs of the pool. You bend over to pick your towel up, but don’t wrap it around you before walking towards the pool house. “Can you sleep in the bed with me?”
“Find us a sitter first!” You scream over your shoulder. It’s getting harder and harder to walk away from him. Almost impossible to tell him no, while you’re dying to let him take you where he wants to go. You want him. You want everything that comes with him, but this is moving too fast.
Right?
You pace back and forth in your pool house, wrapping the towel around your body because you seem so cold. Your house feels miles away from him now. Any distance between you and Curtis feels too far away. He’s leaving her. He’s leaving his wife. You have spent months avoiding the thing and person you want, and it’s him. It’s a life with him and his daughter. It’s crazy. Absurd, and still you’re walking towards the door. Holding your hand over the handle, and then freezing.
Is it worth the risk now? Have you tortured yourself and waited long enough?
You have. Jerking the door open, you stand transfixed in the doorway, staring up at the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. He couldn’t wait either. Meeting you at your door because he was needy for more. His azure eyes look more soft than predatory, “I don’t want to be too forward, but I don’t want you in the pool house. You seem so…”
”Far away?” He nods, holding his hand up for you to take. Glancing down, you grab the appendage, and pull him close to your chest.
“But I’m not fucking you. Poet will probably wake up in about twenty minutes. And I think you’re right, date first. But until the date, can you just sleep in the bed with me?”
He’s walking backwards, pulling you towards his own bedroom. “Can we do no sex?”
“Sweetheart, my cock has been aching to get back inside of you for months, what’s one more night? Or a few days? It’ll be what it’ll have to be, but I can’t have you away from me anymore. And we could get in a quickie, but the next time I’m inside of you, I’m going to take such sweet precious time. Because I know what it’s like to have to live without that sweet cunt, and now, I know what the woman is like.”
It’d have to wait. You’d have to wait. You’ve made it this far. He was worth it. A crazy night of picking up a man on the side of the road has led you to this incredible man with the sweetest daughter, and the possibility of forever.
“I think we’ll manage until our date. Should I warn you I sleep naked?”
“No. Absolutely not. You’re keeping those tits, and that ass covered, or I’m sucking on something until Poet wakes up.”
“Wanna bet?” You squeal, dropping his hand before running towards his door. Curtis rolls his eyes before chasing you. A playfully little romp around the yard to get out any extra annoying butterflies.
“I’m sucking or eating something if you sleep naked, you make your choice.”
“We’re sleeping!”
“Then all of that,” his hands sway over your body, “Has got to be covered,” you were only teasing. But seeing him having fun about sex sends a divine feeling of comfort all over your body. Sex shouldn’t just sweep you off your feet, it should be fun, playful, and wet, and passionate, but still fun.
“Deal. After the first date, I’m sleeping naked.”
“And I’ll fuck you asleep, and fuck you in your sleep,” he winks, walking into the room before you, “Come on, my lady. Let’s cuddle until the baby awakes. No touching. Just cuddling,” you can do that. And you look forward to it. All night. Every night.
Next
Masterlist
Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai
@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989
@slowdownbeforeyouregretit @rogersbarber @evelineangel66 @steviebbboi
#much too fast#curtis everett#curtis everett x reader#curtis everett x fem!reader#curtis everett x female reader#curtis everett x y/n#curtis everett x you#curtis everett smut#curtis everett fanfiction#curtis everett fanfic#curtis everett fanfics#curtis everett fic#curtis everett fics#chris evans#chris evans character#snowpiercer
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This is my first actual post on Tumblr ever so pls bear with me. Also, English is not my first language so pls excuse any mistakes I make :)
So, this whole thing here started just as a joke bc I was curious if anyone else was feeling constantly tired all day no matter how long I sleep. But it all somehow escalated a bit and I may have started hyperfixating on it so well, now it actually became a little survey.
I also wanted to mention that I only asked the artist in my little Tumblr bubble, which is mostly tmnt content, so my results are mostly referring to tmnt artists.
In total, I asked 143 people if they could remember the last time they woke up and just felt actually rested for more than half of the day.
I probably could have been more specific with my question but again, I did not actually planned to let it become so big. Personally, for me being rested means, having a clear head, no headache or foggy mind without consuming any caffeine.
So out of 143 people, 100 answered me and I tried my best to sort all of the answers after the criteria “good-sleep-schedule” and “bad-sleep-schedule” and also noted when exactly they last felt actually rested into either the last days, weeks, months, years or “???” when they couldn’t remember or didn’t mention anything specific.
And let’s just say… it does not really look good. Out of 100 people, only 18 have an actual good sleep schedule. Out of these 18 people, 13 felt really rested in the last days, 2 in the last weeks, only one person in the last months and 2 in the last years.
Out of the 82 of people who have a bad sleep schedule, 10% lastly felt rested in the last days, 11% in the last weeks, 11% in the last months, 30% in the last years, and 38% couldn’t remember or didn’t specify it.
While reading all your answers I came to realize being sleep deprived is not just bc any of them thought “Oh it would be really neat to stay up till 4 am!” or smth like that.
A lot of the artists who answered me mentioned that they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to stuff like insomnia, chronic pain, other issues, or children (yeah, ok, there was just one who had a child but still).
While analyzing I mostly referred the situations to my own experience with going to sleep or rather not going to sleep...
I usually don’t have problems falling asleep but trouble actually putting my stuff away and going to bed bc I don’t want to end the day or just don’t want to go to sleep (don’t ask why, I have no idea why I am like this). While having these “episodes” I often doodle smth, binge reading some fanfics, or watch whatever I can find on the internet until I’m just falling asleep or can convince myself that it is 3 am and I really should go to bed now.
So, my personal theory about why sleep deprivation is so common among Tumblr artists is not bc they do art all night. My theory is that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep due to insomnia, pain, or other issues are filling the time until they hopefully fall asleep with their art, doodles, writings, or whatever their creative minds can bring up, to help the time pass.
In total that would mean that not all artists are sleep deprived but more that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep do a lot of art or creative stuff in general.
Something I could also imagine is, that if they start doing art while waiting for sleep, they start to concentrate a lot on creating more and start procrastinating sleep even if they actually get tired bc they wanna do art and fuck up their non-existing sleep schedule even more but that could also just be me projecting here.
I know that is probably no kind of big revelation but for me it was kind of surprising to see how many people here are as sleep deprived as me and due to what reasons.
I’m not going to preach to any of you to get that problem solved or smth, I have no right to tell you what to do and would be a major hypocrite so instead I really which everyone to get some kind of good sleep schedule one day and the joy of waking up and feeling completely rested at least thrice per week.
I absolutely love all your art and thank you a thousand times for helping me with this spontaneous survey!
I would love to hear your opinions on my theory and conclusion so pls don’t be shy and feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made or tell me your own theories :D
Also, if my question is still sitting in your inbox, feel free to answer! I’m gonna keep ma big ass excel table so I can edit all the results anytime. And maybe, one day, I'm gonna continue this survey and go into more detail but for now I need to leave it like this.
Ok, that's all I got
BYE!
Thanks to all participants
@abbeyofcyn @angelpuns @beannary @bulbabutt @camilieroart @cementgeek @cheesyescapade @cokowiii @easterartist @frosteaart @gemini-forest @happyfoxx-art @heckitall @hellishgayliath @holy-sweetsour-milk @icepopcider @idiot-mushroom @iscreamkitty @kovalitics @laseralligator @lieutenantbiscute @matchstique @mightyanxiety @miiukkaa @mr-doodles @pezhead @probably-not-a-rutabaga @pumpkster @sad-leon @sassatello @sewercrocodileart @sheep-turtles-and-pizza @signanothername @spectra-bear @stephuart @tangledinink @tapakah0 @tasenwiththerobots @tblsomedoodles @thegunnsara @triona-tribblescore @turrondeluxe @valen-timez @vangh17a @wraenata @zinovi768 @debb987 @dianagj-art @goatedgreen @indieyuugure
#Average Tumblr artists sleep deprivation#Sleep survey#Survey#If I had put at least half the effort I put into this survey into learning I wouldn't need to do a retake of my finals#Hyperfixiation is kicking HARD#that escalated quickly
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Boa Hancock x Reader: captivated
Summary: boa meets reader for the first time and gets captivated NOT to long kinda ends in a cliff hanger thing idk
Warning(s): word naked mentioned alot, reader being a flustered mess and can't seem to stop pointing obvious stuff out
KINDA? follows Canon? Furing thr first introduction of boa bur?? Not idk NOT totally Canon stuff moved/changed so- yeah whatever HELP HOPE I DID HER JUSTICE.
Note: SORRY I haven't posted- it's been a while I have a bunch of stuff to get done SO- since I'd prefer to sit down with requests take this as an apology
Traveling with Luffy on this island wasn't what you had in mind for an attempt at relaxing - neither was LOSING your captain, either. Rushing around the island while avoiding the woman who stood guard was- annoying.
Too annoying.
Following a path you looked around, the scenery of the island was beautiful- you'd have asked if it weren't for the fact the woman looked like they'd have killed you- or how they threatened you and your captain. Something about him being a man? You weren't sure. To busy running away to listen. Blinking, you stopped seeing a huge house - it almost looked like a Palace- wait
Big house(palace? You're too tired to think) = meat.
Meat = Luffy
Taking a deep breath, you HOPED he'd be in there. If not- you broke into someone's home for nothing. Sneaking in was much harder there were so many guards standing outside each and every entrance. No matter where you turned those same guards.
But once you got in?
It felt so isolated - no one in sight since you somehow entered - still a shock, you didn't fight at all. It.. was so alone. The only sounds following you were your own footsteps
Walking around for what felt like hours you've come to the conclusion- your lost. No better then Zoro when it comes to sense of direction. You could already HEAR the argument for saying the (truth) lie of such a thing about him
Walking the halls, you couldn't help but stare in awe at how gorgeous the paintings were - how some seemed to be carved into the walls themselves - the snake statues ones you've seen all over the island. The same cobra type.. you think at least it's a cobra. You're not sure - stopping down a lone dark hall, you hummed seeing a lone door on the end of the hall, and you quickened your pace. Stopping in front of a door with an oddly detailed snake carved on it, you couldn't help but get excited -
Maybe it's the exit - or the kitchen - opening it heavy steam hit your face- odd- walking in you looked around before looking down - you stepped in a puddle. Passing a huge snake piller, you froze- Looking straight, a naked woman stood in the water, glaring daggers at them. Your face flushed dark at the sight of the woman- who seemed to get even more mad the more you stared the rattle of a angry snake seemed to escape her as she stared you down
"OH MY GOD- NAKED- SORRY" Stumbling over yourself while you covered your face in embarrassment "OH GOD YOUR NAKED- I DIDNT MEAN TO COME IN- IM SO SO SORRY" Turning you tried to run out- you slipped on the slipper tile from the bath water slamming into the pillar- before it all faded all you heard was
"Seriously?"
-
Waking up your head pounded - a horrible headache sitting up you noticed how soft the bed was - if you didn't get up fast, you'd fall right back to sleep rushing to move a hand shot out pushing you down
"Don't do that. You have a concussion, " a voice called out almost annoyed, looking over a tall, gorgeous woman stood beside you- the name of her slipping your mind it took a moment before you realized WHO she was
"Oh my god your the naked lady"
Wasn't what you had in mind - but that worked. The annoyed look on her face deepened - a deep scowl appeared on her face, grumbling in annoyance before she sighed nodding slowly "*yes. I am..that. but I have a name" she growled out the Rattle, escaped the room once again slightly looking down at you smirking."Do you know who I am? By my appearance alone~" almost a purr. Like it was clear who she was- flipping her air slowly, the snake pair of earrings shining brightly- making you hum softly in thought taking in her appearance how almost full of herself she seemed to be from how she spoke. "Introduced" herself
"Nope"
Pausing before she looked back at you in annoyance once again- "excuse me? You do not know me? Not even by my gorgeous appearance? Shouldn't that give you an idea?"
Shaking your head moving to sit up slowly much slower then before rubbing your head gently huffing "nope. What are you famous or something?" The second those words escaped your mouth, the two guards(you believe) gasped offended at what you said. The woman looking even more angry but.. confused? The rattling froze- silent from what you said
As if this has never happened before.
"What? Are you a big person or something?" You asked once more as the tall woman infront of you pointed at you- bending backwards yelling.. something about her beauty- how unmatched it is- sighing ignoring the woman you stood up "beautiful huh? Guess you could say that.. but I wouldn't say the most beautiful in the world" shrugging slightly nor noticing how quiet it got.
"Excuse me?"
Sighing, you turned to face her, tilting your head in thought "well uh.. you are beautiful. I give you that, but isn't that title like.. taken already.. by some Empress lady" waving your hand in thought- "what was her name again" grumbling in thought- names weren't your strong suit after all
"Boa Hancock"
Huffing in annoyance waving your hand in thought, mumbling to yourself "it like. Has a snake pun to it I guess I dunno.. makes sense she is a snake or something?" Ignoring the looks the three ladies gave you- a mix of many reactions of how you missed your very own answer
"Yes...boa.. boa hancock?"
Huffing loudly shaking your head "no no.. that's impossible no one has that name? Hmm.." stretching slightly in thought- guess you spent way to mucu time with Luffy.. lossing more braincells by the second with him "we'll no matter about this mystery woman. You can't be her! Doesn't she turn people to stone by her looks alone? Oh is she Medusa?"
The tall woman infront of you froze clearly taken aback. Confused was an understatement from what you just said- like you insulted her "...no. that's me.. i.. im the empress? Boa Hancock?" She huffed out clearly unsure how to go about..whatever this is
"did you hit your head that hard?'
The second she said that - you growled, glaring up at her. "Excuse me? Listen, yes, I hit my head, but" blinking you trailed off in thought."OH NO MY CAPTAIN! " you yelled out ignoring the flinching from the woman infront of you- how the three of them shared a confused curious glance together "I FORGOT I GOTTA FIND HIM!"
"..him?"
Once again, ignoring the woman who in turn scoffed offended but now much more curious about you and whatever...was happening before a loud crash was heard, followed by your yell.. and what seemed to be a male voice. Which one a island only having woman on it? Men not allowed even to step foot on her land? Made her more mad.
How dare her people not warn her of what happened. Not alert her of not one but TWO intruders? And one just so happened to view her in a very not good way? Growling she stormed down the hall to follow close.
Boa Hancock.
The most gorgeous woman in the whole world shuttered in fear.
What if you saw the mark? Saw her back? Would you alert anyone? Shame her? Humiliate her more then she ever has before in life? Will she suffer like she has before? She will not allow it.
Can't allow it
If not for her ownself. But her sisters. Her people
How would it look to the world if it was revealed she? An empress. A warlord. Was a slave? To the sick twisted "gods" above. Shuttering she began to Rattle, throwing open, ignoring the usual squeaks and squeals of her people upon seeing her. Eyes scanning locking onto you and the slightly smaller male beside you who seemed.. to be eatting?
Before all else. Her own true emotions. Boa is a ruler. The guardian of these woman who were almost naive to the real world. To the horrors of man.
"Enough"
Her voice boomed, shutting everyone up. Her guards, who attempted to pin the intruders down, stopped backing up on instinct, making way for her to walk. Salome, her beloved snake, followed close behind her, hissing softly as if amused - granted salome probably is. Given how the male who she deemed your captain by the words you loudly(but attempted to be quiet( yelled out.
"You both are the intruders, I presume?" She spoke soft. Cutting right to the chase sending you a warning glare the second you opened your mouth. Watching you flinch in thought before you Began to explain. How someone(who she realized was her very own co worker in a way. Another warlord) forcibly separated your crew. How the last second Luffy grabbed you to not lose another crew mate once again.
Seemed all you both wanted to do was go to your crew once again. Granted, if this was any other place. Any other meeting. She wouldn't care. She'd either ignore you both and go on her way or glare you both down. But this has gotten complicated.
How can she allow you both to leave?
Just like that? No questions asked? She can't do that. She's a empress. She needs to set an example. Doesn't matter that since meeting you. She was curious. Anyone seeing her body would be turned to stone. Or something. But you don't care. You did mention it if course making her Rattle loudly once again-
"Sister, what do we do with them?" One of her beloved sisters spoke up, whispering to her, cutting her thought short- huffing loudly staring the intruders down ignoring how the male named Luffy began to yell to insist on taking HER ship? How DARE that man.
Who does he think he IS?
"I suppose... a trial is in order then. You both shall fight my sisters. You win, you leave the island alive.. you lose, however, " Hancock trailed off, staring you and your Captain down "your to be kept here. Jailed until death for such crimes you both have committed here on my island.. for.. however you both were here for" she finished growling out
Watching you turn to your companion clearly full of faith of your abilities combined? Or just his? She wasn't too sure. But what she does know one thing. You caught her attention. Be it good or bad, she wasn't sure. But she's interested in seeing how this plays out. I'm watching you closer how you grinned at your captain already convinced of your victory. She couldn't help but be almost captivated of the idea.
Maybe she won't be as bored of the same thing before? Of the same reactions to her person, she gets daily? So she isn't too sure. But maybe wining may lead to something interesting? Turning, she stormed off, growling loudly unsure of what to think. To do. Ignoring her sisters for a moment before singing "go get ready for the fight." Is all she could grumble out headed to the arena. To watch it all play out
#boa hancock x you#boa hancock x reader#boa hancock#one piece x reader#one piece#x reader#i love her
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Study session essentials
I’ve probably made a post like this before but I’m getting better at studying and so here are my tips on how to have a more effective study sessions. Keep in mind that I am neurodivergent and I can usually do 2 hours of work in 3,5 hours on a good day. I still procrastinate and struggle a lot, but these things help significantly:
Ambience of my current obsession - I love game background noise and ambient music. They keep me focused and entertained without distracting me in anyway. Recently I’ve been having a witcher 3 ambience or “walking in red dead redemption 2″ videos in my headphones
Open-back headphones - I have tinnitus and so noise canceling headphones are not an option. And for a while I didn’t want to wear any headphones until someone got me big open-back ones that don’t seal me away from surrounding noise and absolutely perfect
Putting my phone in a different room - Just put it away. The forest app or putting it out of reach/sight can be good options if you need your phone around but otherwise putting it far is the best option.
Specific study space - For me personally I have to sit at my desk. Studying on my bed or sofa is never as effective as I need
Clean space - Cluttered space means cluttered mind and worse I feel more easily depressed
A toy for my hands - I need to hold something, feel something, look at something. It helps avoid scrolling and it keeps me entertained while my brain does the hard work. It also helps with stimming if I get overwhelmed. I keep around rocks, palm sized plushies, small wooden hearts and animal figurines.
Paper for thoughts - I always have a piece of paper nearby that I scribble thougths, notes and tasks on. This way when I get an idea I just write it down and deal with it during my break. When I remember something I have to do or want to do, think an anxious thought or just need to scribble it goes on the paper.
Candle - I’m a bit afraid of fire and having a candle burning helps me stay in the room because I don’t like leaving it there burning. I like to pick weaker, clean smells like cotton or vanilla. Watching it burn can be very calming too.
Water/juice/iced tea - I always start with a full glass so I don’t have to get up and get water too often
Cup of tea - Besides having a glass of water I always have a warm cup of green or black tea
Snacks - I usually keep an apple or a banana around so I have to leave the room as little as possible. Hunger is usually a good excuse to leave and this is a great way to eliminate it.
Gum - Chewing is very calming for me which usually means I overeat just so I can chew. Sugar-free gum solves this well. I usually need only one since I don’t quite care about the taste as much as the act of chewing. Be careful not to have too many!
Hot water bottle - When I’m stressed and tired my face tenses up a lot and having something warm to put on my face helps a lot. It makes my muscles relax and I often avoid a headache this way.
Medication - I keep my asthma and anxiety meds around. Sometimes studying can really stress me out and it’s good to have those on hand
I hope you find these helpful and have a great day!
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i hate being in a male dominated fandom, it's just misogyny after misogyny. i KNOW there are way worst things in a patriarchy but it's just so annoying. you scroll to see nice posts and fanarts about the characters you love and 80% of the time it's just men making fun of female characters, mocking them, hating on them, sexualizing them and being misogynistic to them ; men making fun of female fans ; men using memes from the series/movie for their dudebro or misogynistic shit ; and overall just men being misogynistic assholes. i'm a big fan of dragon ball (yes, despite all the flaws of this manga/anime) and recently i've started to rewatch the series again, you know, and while doing this i've scrolled through the online fandom a bit and it's just so... disgusting. yesterday in like 20 minutes i've seen dozens of posts and memes calling Chichi (the main character's wife and also a badass) a c*nt, saying that Kale (a powerful warrior) should "go back to the kitchen", calling various female warriors (like that blue lady from universe 2 in dragon ball super) things like "pigs" or "b*tch", calling some male characters "pussy" for having trouble fighting some female characters like Caulifla, saying shit like "why doesn't bulma build the time machine naked" or "two things from dragon ball i would like to get into : that spaceship and N°18", saying it's "stupid" and "shameful for the anime" to have "that many" strong female characters... like it was almost just men being horrible and misogynistic to female characters, using dragon ball memes to say misogynistic shit like "when your girl pretends she has a headache for the 3rd time this month *screenshot of a male warrior punching a female warrior*" and mocking female fans. that last one infuriates me sooo much by the way. i've seen a very cool young woman in a wonderful Gokū cosplay and all the comments were like "go back to the kitchen", "i am tired of women pretending they understand dragon ball" (as if this anime/manga was hard to understand anyway lol), "fuck off fake fan", "no man will want to fuck you in this cosplay", "i miss when dragon ball was for men only", "don't you want to take it off instead" and so on... that's just so disgusting and exhausting. we can't even enjoy things in peace, men will ruin everything, even a fucking online fandom. anyway misogynistic men in fandom kill yourselves challenge
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Omg I wasn’t expecting such a quick response but I appreciate the clarification!
So I was hoping for matchups for Akame ga Kill, Homestuck, and Legend of Zelda
So for my description;
I’m 24 years old with a career in pet grooming but I wish I’d gone into baking instead.😅
I’m 5’ even barely clocking at 120 lbs with dyed blueish/purple hair, pale skin, and green eyes. I have two tattoos one in my collarbone of three roses (one red, one blue, and one yellow that’s on fire) and the other on my wrist (the illusion coven sigil from the owl house), I also have multiple piercings, on my torso (the titties, and naval) and three in my ears (one on the left, two on the right), and have full intentions of getting more in the future.
My favorite colors are dark blues, purples, and reds, and greens with a bit of black mixed in.
I’m a bit on the chaotic side due to having both ADHD and Autism. I’m super cuddly tho with a lot of crafty hobbies like knitting, crocheting, drawing, baking, and whittling. I also am a bit of a classic weapons nerd who knows how to use a crossbow and throwing axes. I am pagan but I don’t really mention it often unless asked about it or clarifying something for someone. I am very sensitive to light due to my lighter eye color so I tend to wear sunglasses over my regular ones if lights are too bright or if it’s too sunny outside to avoid getting headaches from light sensitivity. I’m a bit of a group mom as I’m the one who always has snacks, hair ties, tissues, etc whenever someone needs them in my purse (mind you it’s not very big and it baffles my friends when I pull out so many things from it because they don’t know how I manage to fit so much inside the little thing). Big time napper which lends into my more cuddly and affectionate tendencies.
D&D nerd, specifically big time bard main (it’s such a versatile class especially when mixed with something like druid. I’m a menace to my GMs)
Big time pebbler, if I see something that reminds me of someone I will not hesitate to give it to them as a gift to show I care and am paying attention.
I’m non-binary and bisexual/demiromantic (I like both men and women but need a strong bond with someone to fall in love) I’m not picky at all with my pronouns since my presentation changes in a day to day basis. Some days I dress more feminine, some days I look like I just crawled out of a lumber yard, most days I’m too tired to care what I look like.
Homestuck specific information: my classpect is witch of light and I’m a Virgo.
Thank you so much for answering my question again and I can’t wait to see what you come up with!
- Pierced Anon
Alright, I hope this looks alright for you!
Akame ga Kill Matchup: Sheele
-She would love the way you pack your bags, as well as your pebbling. I think she would likely fall in love with you as a result of the combination of those two things, assuming you were friends to begin with.
-She would be a very ruthless and violent yandere, but she would never hurt you on purpose, even if you were trying to escape her.
-Of course, accidents may happen given her clumsiness and your chaotic nature, but she'll apologize profusely for any damage she's done.
-She would enjoy the cuddles that come with you being a huge napper. However, if her being around for your naps messes up your ability to take them, I could see her being willing to leave you alone to nap. If she were to do that though, you'd need to make up for that cuddling at a different point in time.
Legend of Zelda Matchup: Malon
-I think she would likely fall in love with you some time when you visit her ranch. Maybe you wanted to visit to get better baking supplies straight from the farm, and Malon just took a particular liking to you.
-I think she would try to bribe you to come back, offering to give you a discount on milk and eggs, or even give them to you for free, so long as you bring her back something you've baked.
-She would be touchy and insistent that you stick around just a little longer each time, until she doesn't let you leave at all. At first, she'll say it's because Hyrule Field is dangerous at night. But when morning comes and she still won't let you leave, you'll realize that something is off.
-Ideally, you won't care too much and you two will be able to live a happy life together on the ranch, but if that's not the case she's not afraid of tying you up or simply locking you in her room.
-Once you settle in, she'll want you to bake for her often and she'll enjoy watching you create things. I doubt she would let you whittle or use any sort of weapon, but other than that she'd be happy to engage in your hobbies if they'll keep you happy.
-I feel like she would be the least approving of your piercings and tattoos out of your matches, but she wouldn't make you get rid of them. She might prevent you from getting new ones in the future though. Though, that depends on how well you've convinced her that you truly do love her and that you'd definitely stay with her of your own volition if she wasn't keeping you trapped in one way or another.
Homestuck Matchup: Aradia Megido
-I could see Aradia going for you either platonically or romantically. Either way, she'd be so affectionate that it might be hard to tell the difference unless she starts kissing you.
-So long as you remain calm and act loving enough towards her, she'd be willing to get you supplies to knit and crochet and all. Of course, anytime you're actually knitting or crocheting, she'll be using it to her advantage to get more time to cling onto you.
-She definitely wouldn't mind the occasional chaos, but if it got to a point where she was concerned about you making an escape attempt or getting out of her control, she would restrain you with her telekinesis.
-She would enjoy hearing about classic weapons, but she wouldn't be willing to let you use them. However, if you were to talk to her about it, she'd sit through anything you could tell her with an enthused grin on her face.
#yandere#homestuck#legend of zelda#akame ga kill#yandere homestuck#yandere legend of zelda#yandere akame ga kill#matchups#yandere matchups#malon#aradia megido#sheele#x reader#yandere x reader#homestuck x reader#legend of zelda x reader#akame ga kill x reader#akame ga kiru#pierced anon
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LO RANT:
Because why not? I just don’t understand the way that fans think, on one hand we can’t associate or even compare Lore Olympus to the myths because they’ll say “well it’s her retelling she doesn’t have to do things exactly alike” but on the other hand when you’re talking about the story by itself they’ll then try to counter whatever argument against Lore Olympus by saying “this is what they did in the myths!! why are you guys mad at greek mythology??” so which one is it because it’s giving me a headache. I get so tired of seeing the exact same argument from fans it’s so redundant and I mean that in the nicest way possible, I’m sure a lot of you are great people but the things y’all say and do for this comic is insane.
Rachel is adding yet another sex scene and people are rightfully angry. We’re in the climax where the world is basically in an apocalyptic state and the gods are all in danger of having no mortals to worship them and give them any purpose and it’s all because of Persephone, no one is thinking “oh yeah this is the perfect time for intimacy” and if you wanted to give fan service to those who are craving it you should’ve did it in a more calmer setting?? No one is threatening Rachel and telling her that she needs to add these ridiculously high stakes to her comic which prevents her from smoothly writing NSFW of the main couple, she’s literally doing this herself which is one of the reasons why it gets so annoying whenever fans get mad at people for being upset or disappointed. She’s doing this to herself, am I saying harass the woman or cyber bully her? No but that’s not what a lot of these people are doing, in every single webtoon especially one as big as Lore Olympus you’re going to have people who view your content differently or disagree with the way you’ve written things. I’m not trying to encourage the idea of changing your entire story to bend to those people but a large majority of your fandom are starting to have the exact same complaints and it’s clear that your plots are not being fleshed out at all, these people are just asking (no, begging really) for a cohesive story not a masterpiece.
Which brings me to my next point, all of the criticisms and explanations many critics have been sharing are entirely valid. You cannot put a sex scene as a replacement to storytelling, it just never works since it adds virtually nothing to what’s happening. Especially right now when, like I said before, Rachel is starting to spiral the plot into chaos (I’m not being insulting by saying this it’s literally chaos it seems like all of the characters are in trouble) and introducing or welcoming back a lot of intriguing plot stories and characters that many people are excited to see. To make an odd and unnecessary shift to romance in the middle of absolute destruction is crazy, especially when none of it is earned. I’ve said this in my later rants but I’ll say it again because it’s true, the romance between Hades and Persephone has no stakes and it never will it seems since Rachel doesn’t even allow stuff like that to happen. Nothing about their romance keeps you straddled on for the ride or leaves you at the edge of your seat which is why so many people are bored with their dynamic if there even is one to begin with. Slow burns and other romances are all about the payoff that’s what everyone’s here to see, after chapters on chapters of wondering if their love will brave the dangers around them and between them we finally get our question solved with appropriate intimacy.
Lore Olympus as a whole rarely wants to develop actual relationships in real time, it only skips to “the good bits” while completely ignoring the fact that the entire bonding experience between your ships and your fans rely heavily on us actually witnessing their chemistry/bond and being shown why they should be together, not being told by forces outside of the relationship.
All in all the potential sex scene is just terrible timing on Rachel’s part and it should’ve been done while literally nothing was happening to avoid all of the backlash that it’s getting now.
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music makers/dreamers of dreams: a fiytwtb addition
a study of wren's relationship with music at two pivotal points, and music's relationship to the world of wonka as a whole
2023!wonka x oc (though lbr there is also a SIZABLE dose of fickelgruber), ~1.9k
alrighty SO. i was thinking more about this dang movie (as you can probably see by the rest of this blog) and all those thoughts came here. i am a big ole motherfreakin nerd for music and shakespeare and many other things, and therefore so is wren.
also this takes place in the universe of the original screenplay (in which pure imagination is first sung by noodle as she teaches willy to read). my take on that song here in general is more like the original in the 70s movie; there’s just Somethin About It Man.
alrighty, enjoy, like comment reblog etc, love yall <3
fic masterlist
“We are the Music Makers, and We are the Dreamers of Dreams”, being a Prologue and Epilogue to “the Chronicles of the Songbird”, regarding the Songs in question and their Bird, one Wren Matterson.
Two Years and Eight Months Prior to Chapter One
This had been a very odd evening.
Wren had been put up in a luxury hotel for the amount of time she’d agreed to stay in the city, which had taken quite a bit of getting used to. Coming back to her room after a day of work voicing advertisements, she had noticed a crisply thrice-folded paper slipped under her door, held together with an emerald wax seal.
Yes, that was where the oddness had started.
She’d torn the seal, read the note conveyed by a cursive hand so elaborate it nearly caused a headache, and crinkled her brow.
She’d opened the door to her room’s closet, faced with the sight of a dress, stole, and gloves of deep green velvet that she soon learned were impossibly well-tailored.
She’d followed the address of the note, becoming even more confused when it led her to the city’s cathedral, but presented it to the bishop as instructed. He had looked her up and down and ushered her into what turned out to be an elevator.
She’d continued through the corridors, growing more and more curious and undeniably uneasy, greeted by a woman with tired eyes whom she wished she could have truly talked to. Any attempt at conversation that Wren made, though, was interrupted by whispers that came from the other side of the heavy door-
“The two of you must stay mostly in shadow, she won’t agree if she recognizes you and knows of our arrangement too early.”
“Are-are you sure of her, then, Felix, if she’s too-”
“Oh, do shut up, Gerald, she’ll certainly come around by the time we’ve-besides, you know you owe me one-”
“Gentlemen, please. Let’s just focus on the…ahem…altered choreography.”
“You can’t be in the center all the time, Arthur, it so happens that for this particular-”
“Fine, fine. Miss Bonbon, lights at the ready?”
And then the guard had cleared her throat, the whispers had ceased, and Wren went inside, asking if this summoning was for some sort of rerecording session.
And that was how she had gotten to this point, whatever point this was.
The evening’s oddness now found her the focal point of a whirling tango, a display so dizzying she barely knew which way was up. It was a teenaged fever-dream fantasy come to life, colored lights flooding and hands on her waist and trembling twixt-verse vamps and velvet and tweed and silk.
It was a too-sweet overwhelm of something, but at least it was something at all.
The lighting was such that she couldn’t tell exactly where she was, but she realized that, in that moment, she didn’t care. There was a taste of dark mint chocolate in the air, and she became aware that at some point a massive necklace of dewdrop emeralds had been clasped around her neck by a deft, grazing touch and was now dappling her collarbone as she was twirled, dipped, tossed, thrown.
Most inescapable of all was Felix Fickelgruber’s voice in her ear, accompanied by tight harmonies that came from seemingly nowhere, promising her every speck of security and influence that she’d been in need of her whole life. Any question or dissent from Wren was smoothly dismissed in rhyme, and even when she could get a few words in, they somehow always came out in rhythm.
It was almost as if her innate tendency to musicianship overruled any resistance.
It was almost as if he’d known that would be the case.
The realization was alarming and delicious all at once, and with the current sensation of melodies pronounced against her neck, she was inclined to focus on the latter.
The music from nowhere started to build, shifting from the driving tango into a blasting Broadway finale. Clear-toned horns, stunningly blaring lights, this sauntering silhouette with his sea-of-chocolate eyes calling her by a new name-it was too much, one quiet thought piped up, something’s being hidden.
“You’ll be living so high, don’t refuse my-”
Then the lights dimmed further and all else seemed to disappear, save for Felix and the sound of one solo violin.
“-question it took all this to confess.”
The violin threw in a chromatic accent, adding to her held-back and long-delayed swoon, and she realized the next line was hers.
“Don’t know if I should play it…”
“Darling, won’t you say it?”
Then his hand was lifting her face, and there was silence for the first time in what felt like ages.
She was backed up against a wall, not only in metaphor.
There was only one syllable left in the stanza, and only one possible rhyme.
“Yes.”
She let out a breath, which was soon caught up into his own as violins swooped into a sickeningly soaring final beat.
A Few Minutes Following Chapter Five
The librarian that had been the first in this city to give Wren a kind smile all that time ago was standing on her steps, hugging her daughter, who looked as if she was finally breathing for the first time in her fourteen years.
Without question, this was the most beautiful thing that the other woman had ever witnessed.
Something close to the same was probably true, too, for the man who stood beside her.
“If you want to view paradise, simply look at them and view it.”
He’d sung to Noodle to encourage her as they approached the library, a lilting melody that he was currently continuing-to himself now, and with tears in his voice.
“Somebody to hold onto; it’s all we really need.”
They both knew Noodle would stay in touch with them, they knew they were more than happy for her, but they were still touched with tears. Wren had her own bond with the girl, but she knew Willy would miss her the most out of everyone, so she took his arm, and they leaned on each other.
“Nothing else to it.”
He was probably thinking of his own mom, too.
And she was thinking of hers.
They’d finally been able to write back and forth again; Wren had read over and over the two years’ worth of her family’s letters, remembering all the time she’d spent worrying and wondering aloud to Felix why she’d never gotten a letter from them. He’d always flicked her words away, assured her they must have simply been busy, that the mail these days was spotty; his voice was always sweet and smooth on those days, and she’d allowed it to comfort her when she thought nothing else could.
Never again.
She’d written pages of apologies and explanations to her mom, pouring every ounce of love into that paper, and receiving the reply felt like a world-heavy weight off of her shoulders.
It was the same feeling that she knew her friend was feeling now, that her new love had felt in spirit just minutes ago.
They held each other, certain and close within the shared tinge of loneliness.
“So goes a good deed in a weary world.”
They turned to see the Oompa-Loompa just down the path, looking between them, his eyebrows going up a bit when his gaze found Wren.
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Wonka,” he said half-sarcastically, “it seems I’ve misquoted in the presence of your aficionado of the Bard. ‘So shines a good deed in a naughty-’”
“It’s fine,” she laughed. “Portia’s…not exactly the most admirable of characters to need to quote correctly, anyway.”
“Quite right.”
“And I do like ‘weary’,” Willy mused. “It’s not what’s written, but it…”
“Just feels better,” Wren agreed, and Willy smiled at her before turning back to the Oompa-Loompa.
“I was wondering if I’d see you again.”
One negotiation later, the three were walking across an old bridge to a castle of ruin that nearly took Wren’s breath away. There was history in these old stones, so much life, so much room to dream.
“It’s beautiful, Willy.”
“Just wait,” he said with a grin.
“It was sweet, by the way, what you sang to Noodle. How did you find that melody?”
“It was hers, actually. Seems the idea of imagination can…”
He trailed off when the church bells tolled in a way that Wren had never heard them ring before.
High B flat, low A, low B flat.
High B flat, low A, low B flat.
High B flat, low A, low B flat.
Over the ostinato, she started to hum Noodle’s melody, and Willy stopped in his tracks, looking straight at her.
“What?” Wren said.
“...It fits.”
“Yeah, perfectly,” she smiled.
“Keep going,” Willy said, getting that sort of shimmer in his eye that usually came when he’d thought up some sort of wonderful new idea. “You’re the only person I’ve known who sees beauty in an old ruined castle-not only what it could be, but even just what it is. So”-overwashed with thoughts, he took her hands and kissed them, the dreamer in his element, and she laughed, and the Oompa-Loompa rolled his eyes, and Willy grinned, leading them into the castle-“so, Wren, my dear Wren-tell me what you hear.”
She closed her eyes for a moment and let it come. The possibility of the place, the fulfillment of the past few weeks, the melancholy and wonder, the magic that had entered her life.
“Start with a minor chord on the second,” she said softly, slowly. “Repeat your first few notes, let it fall into the five, then-then it goes to that major seventh.”
She swooned into the unexpected chord, then realized that, as she was murmuring each suggestion, it was blooming into full orchestral realization behind the chocolatier’s voice. At the same time, the castle’s courtyard was starting to take shape; the crumbling walls returned to their speckled glory, a beautiful domed ceiling of glass appeared from nowhere, and colorful ingredient pipes started to snake around each corner. Willy’s eyes widened with wonderstruck joy as his creation came to life, and he and Wren looked at each other with equal and mirrored pride.
For his part, the Oompa Loompa started to seem the slightest bit impressed, which the couple took as a win, smiling in awe as they danced into the space.
“We’ll begin with a spin, traveling-”
“One, two, diminished flat three…”
“-in the world of my creation!”
He was the taste and the sight, she was the sound and the sense.
“What we’ll see…”
“Two-five…”
“…will defy…”
The dance came to a pause, and he turned to her, eyes shimmering with anticipatory trust.
The answer came to her as a miracle would.
Your wheel mixes its chocolate, my song mixes its mode. Subvert their expectations, my love, just like you always have.
“Major three,” she said breathlessly, and-
“Explanation.”
The chord ricocheted through the space, and something like a sigh of a laugh escaped them both. Then the bridge came, soaring and swooping with a much truer hope than anything she’d ever heard before.
Wren Matterson had always loved music-it had been once her lifeline, then her work, then the thing that had held her in place. But now, it didn’t have a betraying hold on her, no-now it was hers, born of inspiration from those she loved, coursing through her skin with a warmth unlike anything she’d ever felt.
Perhaps there wasn’t exactly nothing to it, but they had indeed changed quite a bit of the world, and she had the feeling that they’d only just begun.
“There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you’ll be free if you truly wish to be.”
#fiytwtb#wonka fanfiction#wonka 2023#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet fanfiction#timothee chalamet fic#timothee x reader#timothée chalamet#willy wonka x reader#wonka#wonka movie#wonka fanfic#timothée chalamet x reader#mat baynton x reader#mat baynton#mathew baynton#mathew baynton x reader
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ok im putting this behind a cut this time bc i know it gets really annoying and boring for some people
it’s more h*zbin bitching on my part lmao…. it’s annoying and tiring for me too but i cant keep my mouth shut, & this is better than just saying more shit on twitter where readmores dont exist and beef will DEFINITELY happen
(also im talking about the art, not the person who capped the images)
the thing in the background is so visually confusing, it’s the same saturation and in some cases the same colors as the foreground characters, so in many areas it’s hard to see what’s even going on. plus there’s that bright green eye at the top (and bright green flames at the very bottom-center, which you can only see in the Chaggie/Angel one) which makes things even more confusing esp. in the last one where the only other two bright green things are the candy and Niffty’s collar, which dont have any particular reason to stand out so much, but your eye gets drawn immediately to those three things
the character groups make sense for the Vee’s and Alastor/Niffty/Husk but the other two don’t. Chaggie sure, but then, random Angel? i mean i guess, but he doesn’t have an especially close relationship with them. and Pentious/Cherri makes sense but then completely random Lucifer?? he definitely has no special relationship with either of them. It would make a lot more sense if you just swapped Angel & Lucifer - put Angel with his BFF & put Lucifer with his daughter and as-of-now-future-daughter-in-law.
what is Angel Dust supposed to be…? i cant really tell with Valentino but it sorta feels like i’m not supposed to, like he’s just wearing generic “slutty halloween” geddup, which tracks for his character. but Angel has what look to be either bear ears or mouse ears, and he’s holding a nondescript teeny-tiny yellow shape that blends in with that fucking background…….. aaaaand as i was writing this i saw the tail. he’s a mouse. i thought the shape was like, a teddy graham and he was a bear. maybe make the cheese a little bigger, or at least the tail? just enough so they’re as visually clear as the ears???
i know i kind of already said this w/ the background thing & this is a common complaint of the show overall but it bears repeating….. the characters’ designs and colors make group shots with them so hard to visually interpret, just in general. everything is a big clump of competing colors that are all super bright, there’s very little to help the eye separate the characters from each other, or from the background elements. the center areas of the Pentious/Cherri/Lucifer design and the Alastor/Niffty/Husk design, in particular, give me a headache with how confusing they are (Husk’s eyebrow on the left absolutely looks like it’s supposed to be Alastor’s index finger pointing, with his palm upturned, does it not? just one example)
ok ramble over. i s2g i cant shut up, art school infected my brain and i am forever in Art Class Critique Mode™
#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#idk if the woman herself designed or drew these or if theyre the work of an employee#but either way it doesnt look like it went through a round of con/crit#so much official art for this show looks like stuff that wouldve been torn apart in my Intro to Character Design class back in college#or like….. the introductory illustration classes. though the CD class focused on illustration too#lime rants
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Bracing for Tomorrow
I took a beat and that was healthy for me.
Tomorrow is a big day I am dreading. It’s my husband’s last chemo, plus immunotherapy, plus an extra visit with his original oncologist to check on his throat. We have to do it at the bigger downtown treatment center which is just a lot less nice and a lot more stressful, but it makes sense because of his oncology appointment.
He is still coughing a lot and sounds awful, but he is back at work. His doctor said if his pretreatment labs are fine, he can get treatment. No doubt it is going to freak out every other patient and caregiver because he sounds infectious, though he’s not. His oncologist has to put a camera down his throat, which he always hates, but this time with his spasmodic coughing, it doesn’t seem possible. We shall see.
Things will die down after this. He will get a PET scan and that will let us know how effective treatment was. He will continue immunotherapy and that should be much easier, so maybe life will level off.
That is him.
Next week is my youngest son’s birthday. Not great timing because it should be pretty hard around here with his dad wiped out from chemo and pertussis, but that’s when it is. He wants nothing. Sounds good but it has the effect of putting more pressure on me to come up with something. I told him my abilities peaked last year and it will be downhill from there. He agrees. Last year I surprised him with the best dog that has ever existed. Nothing can come remotely close to that. Oh, that means we have a doggy birthday too.
That’s him.
I have made serious progress on my curriculum. It is more work than I expected but it’s also much better than I expected (and I had high expectations!). There is still much to do, but it feels good to hit a benchmark. My brain gets tired from this task. It’s pretty much the hardest thing I could make my brain do: organize many, many different pieces of information into calendars. I have to take breaks. I can literally feel my brain fatigue, like you would if you were doing bicep curls and pushed too hard. It’s not a headache, but I feel this slushy sensation and I know I am about to lose my ability to walk and talk if I keep going. However, I can often come back after an hour break. Still, there can be a cumulative effect and that’s annoying.
I’ve also been regularly exercising. Not much progress but it feels good to get moving and I know it’s the first step to getting a good program going again. I wish I could do more but I am maxed out. I feel not just like I’m taking baby steps, but Thumbalina baby steps.
When I was freaking out last week I called my soul sister. I am so lucky to have her. I can say the most terrible thing I’m thinking and she thinks I’m still marvelous. We have known each other 46 years and been extremely close for much of that time. On the phone I fell apart and then suddenly we were deep belly laughing. Neither of us saw it coming. Love can be truly magical sometimes.
I feel more settled in my heart. I’m focusing on my life. I am really stressed out about tomorrow and the the wake it will create, but the big picture things I wrote about last week are ok. They are forgotten but the changes I made in my mind have brought me peace. Also I’ve received some support from some friends and I really needed that.
When I watched the Olympics I was amazed at the hurdlers. How do those women jump do high so fast, so relentlessly? It boggles the mind. Tomorrow is a big hurdle. I am an ostrich so I’m afraid to look at it.
But don’t ostriches also run very, very fast? I have to remind myself.
Anyway, that’s me.
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