#i have so many weird feelings
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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Five Dollar Fridays!
Can you spare $5 this week? If not, please reblog this post so it reaches someone who can!
Otherwise, please donate $5 to one of the following verified fundraisers for families in Palestine and then reblog this post:
(verification) Musab's Family (£26/£10.000) [0.26%] *new goal and campaign, see here.
(verification) Moamen's Family ($85/$30.000) [0.28%] *new campaign and goal, see here.
(verification) Samer’s Family (€1.157/€30.000) [3.86%] *new campaign and goal, see here.
(verification) Sohaip's Family (£1.116/£10.000) [11.2%]
(verification) Basel's Family (CHF 8.780/CHF 60.000) [14.6%]
(verification) Muhammad's Family (€22.771/€82.000) [27.8%]
(verification) Malak's Family (€7.651/€25.000) [30.6%]
(verification) Nabila's Family ($9.807/$30.000) [33.0%] *new goal
(verification) Nadaa's Family (£9.705/£25.000) [38.8%]
(verification) Mohammed's Family (€41.823/€80.000) [52.3%]
(verification) Laila's Family (€32.704/€55.000) [59.5%]
(verification) Yousef's Family (€31.755/€50.000) [63.5%] *new goal and campaign, see here.
(verification) Asmaa's Family (€29.612/€45.000) [65.8%]
(verification) Abdelrahman's Family (€20.005/€30.000) [66.7%]
(verification) Youssef's Family (€16.323/€23.000) [70.9%]
(verification) Mohammad's Family (€29.633/€37.000) [80.1%]
(verification) Amira's Family (€32.379/€39.000) [83.0%]
(verification) Fadi's Family ($44.027/$50.000) [88.1%] *new goal, see here.
Time stamp: Nov. 15, 2024
More information and campaigns under the read more.
(Conversions: $5 = kr52.36, €4.66, £3.89, CHF4.30)
Daily Campaigns @writing-prompts-for-palestine
Match Me Monday
Ten Dollar Tuesdays
Do Something Saturdays
Completed Campaigns:
(verification) Nada’s Family (€16.040/€16.000) [100%]
(verification) Wafaa's Family ($85.075/$85.000) [100%] *new goal and campaign, see here.
*** the follow campaigns have been terminated by GFM/are no longer accepting donations. I am looking for an update from the vetters or organizers.
(verification) Tala’s Family (€13.967/€40.000) [34.9%]
#check the original post for updated goals and campaigns!#ra speaks#palestine#fundraising#mutual aid#free palestine#palestine gfm#palestine fundraiser#five dollar fridays#<- this post will be reblogged every Friday until the goals are met and Palestine is free. i will reblog it in the evening with updates.#i have personally donated at least $5 to each of these. please spare what you can if you can this week.#every dollar helps!#but please reblog so this reaches as many people as possible...i feel weird tagging the big blogs but i might
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Sam!
#i like his winter outfit cause his hat hides his stupid ass psiky hair lmao#sorry im not a sam guy the only reason i even drew him was so i could dra whi hair like this lol#look i love soft hair thats kinda wavy or swoopy so im makin all the boys have this hair#im sure if i ever draw alex or shane they would be unrecognizable lmao#also his face looks kinda weird but#i dont really feel like fixing it anymore than i already have#like i fixed his face so many times cause it looked off and it STILL looks of but ah well#art#artwork#stardew valley#fanart#sam stardew valley#sdv#artists on tumblr
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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i ask because growing up i always thought i had a normal amount of cousins but now everyone always tells me i have a lot so i wanna see whats average
also i included that last option because its probably what fits best for me personally but for reference i think the amount of cousins i have is somewhere in the early 20s
#polls#i feel like this is a weird poll to make#but also ive had so many conversations where people are surprised by how many cousins i have#and i wanna know whats average
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~ Extremely Unwilling Magical Protagonists Attempt To Outrun The Plot And Not Fucking Die ~
(@takofukkatsumi this tag is from a while ago but it hasn't left my brain -- L-Space got very weird all of a sudden)
#discworld#rincewind#the luggage#svsss#shen qingqiu#sqq#takofukkatsumi honestly thank you for this tag i've been chuckling on and off about the luggage overtaking sqq for a while now#something about it feels Right. no one expects the luggage until it's on you#honestly my main goal out of this picture is to force svsss fans to witness The Luggage and its horrible legs#shen yuan and rincewind hit that awkward point where you're keeping pace with a stranger#you can't quite manage to speed up or slow down at the right point to break contact#so they end up having a VERY weird conversation#at least anything sqq says is not the weirdest thing rincewind has heard#got sucked into a book? let him introduce you to the librarian#actually now i want the librarian to meet the system#if anyone could figure out a way to beat the system's head in it'd be an orangutan offended on behalf of literary characters everywhere#conversely both sqq and sqh are capable of ''speaking'' with pratchett style footnotes ARE are capable of seeing each other's footnotes#they weaponize this against each other immediately#honestly intrigued to see how many notes this gets - what's the general overlap between discworld fans and mxtx fans?#or is it literally the two of us here in this venn diagram?#i feel like it should exist though - are both not simply fantasy parodies in one variety or another??#my art
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normal guys in a normal relationship (giving you a not very convincing thumbs up). macdennis doodles from this week :)
#macdennis#macden#iasip#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#it's always sunny in philadelphia#everytime dennis touches mac in that weird touchy way of his i throw up a lil. gayboy#they are.. looking at skin mags. btw. i didn't draw it completely but there is uh. well.uhm. suggestive things you can zoom in on i guess#drawing charlie in that angle with no beard really got me. like who is that. if he ever shaves i'll probably think they replaced him#i already feel physically ill when i have to forgo mac's beard. they hatecrimed me when they had mac clean shaven tbh#i'm like the biggest deffender of so many decisions made. except for that.#STOP MAKING ME LOOK AT HIS BARE CHEEK?!?! it's like he's naked
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quick doodle
#scribbles' post#scribbles' art#ldshadowlady#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#jizzie#actually obsessed w the fact joel put lizzie's ocean god self in his shrine#i went haha what if he makes lizzie part of the shrine and then he did it#im having so many feels guys#if i had a dollar. for every tike a green themed mcyt whose skin is basically cosplay joined a popular smp and connected his wife to it#by treating her as a goddess. id have two dollars. which isnt a lot but goddamn. weird that it happened twice
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i'm doing a bunch of drawings of the main 4 (sometimes also alluka) camping in lukso province like slightly post-canon.... these are the ones that didn't really require much emotional sincerity to make lol (the other ones are hopefully gonna get finished later)
#leopika#killugon#gon freecss#killua zoldyck#kurapika#leorio paladiknight#alluka zoldyck#ftm kurapika#hxh#art#it feels SO weird putting this many tags on something. self conscious. not used to having more than like 2 different guys in one thing#i Will draw kurapika having some sort of complex emotions here but first. gotta draw him kissin' apparently#the Cool Rock was meant to be an opalized ammonite with quartz growing on it. but i never drew it big enough to make it look actually cool#ah.... i made leorio's sleeves not rolled up in one panel... pounding my fists on the floor
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My copium where they all survive and they are an iconic one eyed trio
Also some random sketches because 266-267 have been killing me emotionally thank you
#genuinely how the fuck do they go back to society after this???#for how Megumi would lose his eye#I saw some really cool fanart a while ago where he got some scarring post-possession due to Sukuna's weird face thingy#Forgot where it was but I thought it was so cool#and wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if they all have one eye at the end of this#Hell if you wanna cope you could throw Gojo in there too with the eye theories#This should not be funny but it is to me sorry#Gege just mutiliating peoples eyes for some reason#As it stands Yuji and Nobara are matching in canon since he supposedly can't use RCT anymore#Unless he fucking dies before they reunite#I swear to god gege#bro has been throwing too many death flags#Yuji feels like a ticking time bomb every chapter I keep thinking hes gonna die every week#Any way happy sunday yall#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk 267#jjk267#my art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#jjk art
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im about to go to sleep but everybody needs to wish me good luck i have 3 whole finals this week
#wind howls#i have so many weird feelings#tomorrow is arguably the hardest what with it being the philosophy exam and having to write almost a thousand words abt freedom and not#i am terrified. i want to be done with philosophy so desperately and i want to know and prove to myself that i CAN be okay at school#and yet what a thrill it is to be terrified of a final exam. it means i did manage to make it this far !#whether im confident or not doesnt matter. what matters is that im taking this damn final no matter what. scared and all#im gonna fucking do it ! and even if i dont pass it ill still have done it and im going to be proud of myself for being able to do it !!!#im terrified ! but im glad i get to be a lil scared and know ill still do it and itll pass rather than letting th stress get the best of me#which is probably what i wouldve done 2 years ago. ive grown baby ! im celebrating that for my own wellbeing and because i deserve to.#tuesday is my french final (even though theres another exam afterwards. dont as me why. its dumb as hell but this is the biggest one)#and thursday i gotta hand in my exploration final (and then ill be done with that!) and present my gym class exam#which im not afraid of. i have to come up with a training routine for like an hour and present it to a classmate and theyll grade me#surprisingly its the one im most confident in. i love being an instructor and i miss it ! and ive built lectures for days that were worse !#so im actually quite excited for that one hehehe#ah ! i need to sleep now though#everybody wish me luck ! goodnight !
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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THE GLORIA SCOTT - part 2, and a follow up to my comic for the first half of this scene! thanks sm to @crashingmeteorz for allowing me to source validation for my whimsical cosmic approach to this moment <3
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#i had such a distinct and vivid image for this scene in my mind when i first considered drawing it#but i was worried people might find it. too weird?? but . i dont want to draw 13 pages of two men lying on a bed#so heres my heavy visual metaphor for the ways in which i think john and sherlock are trying to connect with each other in this scene#i hope it makes sense!#i have so many feelings about this scene i cant put it into words so it had to be a comic instead#another note i was already working on this when joff's floorplan released and i didnt want to reshuffle the entire composition to conform#wouldnt have worked#but future comics will take the canon floorplan into account#uhmm#oh yeah also wanted to mention: i took inspiration from Space Boy the webcomic. so. read that if u vibe with this kind of storytelling#another thing: sleep well by electric president - tracks 4 5 and 6#patsart
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